#this tag was recommended idk what to think about it
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i dont know what the plan is now, i have never had a plan for anything, but i dont want to delete the previous posts bc it feels like im trying to sweep things under the rug or act like they didnt happen
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i wish it was easier to know when to stand my ground and when to see i am wrong or when to ignore things#i am a chronical self doubter so even for the most obvious things when someone talks against me theres a moment i am hit with doubt#someone could tell me 'ganondorf is actually a perfectly true representation of all arabic people at once (somehow)'-#and i will go 'wait is he??' no hes not you idiot you know it isnt you spend alot of time learning about it the fuck#if it werent for those horrible scary (rare-not online) meltdowns i think how easily i am to doubt myself and be influenced by others is-#-what makes me feel the most childish#idk if thats an autism thing or just a me thing#even when theres a belief or opinion that is cemented into my brain unchangibly i still doubt if its right or if i am allowed it somehow#its such a contradictory thing again. easily influenced and made to doubt myself but also immovable .. even on dumb things#like theres nothing that can change how i feel about totk but i still doubt it anyway#what if i am wrong and an idiot and everyone saying the opposite of me is actually more right?? (still doesnt change opinion but doubt tm)#also can tumblr plese stop recommending me suicidal tags when i type 'what if' in here???????????????#i am trying to get OUT and AWAY from that as far as possible i dont find it funney hehe#(and i dont think i typed any of those phrases before)
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Me: I am interested in judaism ONLY. Show me content about jewish life, intellectualism, history, and daily life
The Algorithm, apparently: does this mean you're interested in mormonism... how about jehova's witness............... this is all you'll get recommended by the way
#jumblr#personal thoughts tag#on topic but. there's also been so many mormon missionaries in my town??? are they all coming back from serving mission trips or what......#it's also weird that my town is almost completely xtian but [insert shopping place] had a display specifically for pesach#like ik many xtians have seders and you know what i'm talking about but like...??? ig they tried because they gave out free pesach haggadah#but i think it was solely because they had displays for easter up. look i just thought it was funny considering where we live#but that same store has a small kosher section. as in... well it's got some kosher food#so i really don't know what to make of it because that display is gone (why i think it was more for easter??)#ANYWAY#i'm just confusion 🫰👍#wait on the topic of xtian seders... why??? i never understood that one and my family has never celebrated passover#what would the point be when (from my understanding) such a big part of pesach is the freedom of jews from slavery#and that g-d sent them/us manna. like i admit i don't know everything about pesach but how would an xtian observe it?#because i have heard of that in the past and assumed they were celebrating jesus instead which to me wouldn't be a seder or passover. idk..#also i'm watching one of the videos about mormonism that was recommended to me but. i still watch majority jewish things regardless so????
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Your art is amazing! Could you tell me uhh, where to start? 😁 I mean, to get into all that goodiness that you're seemingly into. Is it just history - or some amazing show I've apparently missed?
it's all just history! I grew up watching documentaries on public tv, started reading historical fiction, and then non fiction when I ran out of historical fiction to read at the local library. lots of hong kong & japanese period pieces (films, comics, shows, etc) (shout out to ooku, that one was an eye opener). between that, assassin's creed being at it's absolute height when I was a teenager, BDs, and sword and sandal movies, eventually it culminated into this
there are three shows that deserve honorable mentions tho, because if it wasn't for them, I probably wouldn't have considered history for an enjoyable creative outlet: Starz Spartacus, The Borgias (Showtime), and probably Wolf Hall or Prince of Egypt!
#idk. a lot of stuff probably led me here one way or another. that one priest back in (redacted). middle school history teacher#many such things. the tangled knot of life. but also one cannot underestimate seeing sword and sandal movies as a teenager#the costuming? creative. more importantly: sexy#love what the french are up to with the romans in general tbh. the cleopatra musical does live in my head rent free#french musical cassius you will always be famous to me#anyway i dont know if i have any particular books to recommend bc i tend to just. check out a bunch at once and see what#piques my interest. would love to read more about rome and japan wrt to imperial legacies but that will have to wait until#well. i can read japanese better than i currently can lmao. east asian art twitter does banger stuff with the dead romans#also the renaissance. there's a comic about cesare borgia that im obsessed conceptually#currently. currently i'm reading every single over view book on the later roman empire and keeping a tally on who thinks that#valentinian ii killed himself or was murdered. somewhere in there i got really invested in julian and now im reading#about julian and it sure is something.#ask tag
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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monster girl... she eat ppl... shes scary af... perhaps body horror is involved... perhaps she is scary as hell but secretly just wants someone to hold her idk maybe she yearns but shes horrifying
#what do yall know abt the mlp infection au .......#SUADIKJASDASKDHSAJD#i know most of u will be like wtf are u on about#its an au where the ponies are all grotesque and disgusting and scary#like they get infected by something idk it differs#so basically zombie apoc shit#but this oc will be a monster of some kind#perhaps they slowly transform into a grotesque terrifying thing if they get hungry#ooc.#just thinking c:#i want more horror ocs#not me infodumping about my little pony aus#listen my best friend loves mlp... me? i didnt get into it but this au is so cool#i recommend looking it up on tiktok if u like body horror and scary shit#body horror tw#INFECTION TW#???#cannibalism tw#Nuk oc idea tag
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loki/william rufus fic, where bill explains that as the second son he has inherited england while big brother bob only got the duchy of normandy, ha ha ha.
#no offence to normandy of course i'm sure it's a fine duchy with many things to recommend it.#oh but wait! England Son then dies in a “Hunting Accident” and the next brother heads for the capital ASAP!#where is Bob? idk i think he was on crusade or something. BUT! he'll get to stay in england when henry keeps him captive for life <3#apparently robert got very into welsh poetry while imprisoned for being the older brother so maybe that made up for it all?#PLOT TWIST: henry the first of england leaves no legitimate sons and england ends up having a civil war when he dies.#btw it still throws me a bit that post-conquest kings have names like william and robert while the pre-1066 dudes are all named Aethelthing#*whispers* i kind of feel like asgard should be on a atheling system like pre-conquest england but i don't want to complicate things.#though this would explain why Thor 1 treats a Loki succession as a real possibility and thinks aptitude for kingship in any way matters.#whereas the later movies all assume it works on primogeniture (and none of us in fandom really absorbed the fact that when hela shows up#thor instantly accepts that she's ahead of him in the line of succession and objects to her evilness rather than her sex/gender.#so clearly if thor and loki have an older sister the OLDER matters more than the SISTER. right? yet sif is the only female warrior.#and while i think the 'kings NEED to go into battle!' thing was overstated by the past and by modern observers we do all go along with that#in the context of these films don't we? loki is unsuitable due to his *checks notes* weak fragile feminine form.#*looks at him and experiences a brief moment of cognitive dissonance before moving on*#and that's a story more of us want to tell (or i assume that's what's up) so we all just ignore The Hela Evidence don't we?)#(i can explain my own reasons if anyone asks but nobody will so i won't bother doing it in these tags.)#btw a friend once made a william the conqueror joke about passing the duchy on the left hand side which was FANSTASTIC#but explaining it would take far too long so i won't do that either. BUT IT WAS RLY FUNNY U GUYS (gender-neutral)!#history shitposting#plus the mcu because of course
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Back in November, I made a post playing with the idea of in-universe documentaries about Harrow and in that post I mentioned that there would probably be some discussion around the 'Mysterious stranger(s)' that appeared at (What I'm calling, anyway) The Battle of Cairo and (presumably) haven't shown up much sense...but I wanna extend on that. (Believe it or not, this idea came from an episode of the Big Hero Six Cartoon. Highly recommend it if you liked the movie, it's cute.) So, when I say Mysterious Stranger(s) I'm talking about both Marc and Steven as well as Layla. And we'll look at this from the 'The way social Media works' angle, not the documentary angle like I was with Harrow.
Marc and Steven go first - I'm going to assume, like multiple other folks who have come before me - that the general public probably assumes the two of them switching back and form is some magic superpower thing - at this point I'm pretty sure the only thing close to it that's been seen in the superhero world is Bruce/Hulk (Correct me if I'm wrong, please.) so that's why I'm gonna go down that route. I'm sure some folk would catch on to the DID angle the first time they see a video of it (I'm imagining a blurry as-all-hell video of that "That wasn't you, was it Steven?" scene and the one before it.) but I can't see it being a theory that gets up there in popularity quickly (Even though that's..the actual case.)
Layla is also being included in this - Does she get the name 'Scarlet Scarab' from Taweret? Herself? The Internet? What about obscuring her face? (For the most part, Marc and Steven have a mask on, but her face is never covered so-). I can guarantee the "Are you an Egyptian Superhero?" scene would make it onto the internet, at least. And we know fanfiction exists in this universe, so...how long does it take before people start shipping them? I'm dead serious- I can literally see the Tumblr (or whatever this universe's parallel is.) posts.
Moon-Night "Guys- I think the Moon Knight and The Scarlet Scarab are dating!" (140 notes)
Scarlets-Scarab (Reblogged From Moon-Night) "I dunno, Maybe she's just like..a partner. A friend. Why does every Male-Female duo need to be in a relationship!?
Dr-Strange-lover (Reblogged from Scarlets-Scarab) "Dude, there's literally a video of Moon Knight calling her 'Baby' and 'Love'. Pretty sure they're at least in love."
..and so on. (Do you like my terrible fake Tumblr names?)
And the fanfics? People would write fanfiction, they just would- I'm gonna put a stop to this now before I get even more rambly, I think you get the point.
#I watched Triple Frontier today btw#will probably be recommending to my father#it made me want more (Pre-Khonshu)Mercenary Marc content#I wanna write something involving that era so badly but also I basically only write soft fics#Shelter AU backstory fic?? Maybe?? I'm working on another one for it rn#anyway...yeah that's all I've got I still feel like crap#also on an unrelated note I want Oscar Issac(I think that's the write spelling-it's late) and Pedro Pascal to play a married couple#-note that I don't say that because I'm trying to ship real people but Idk I just feel like that could work..especially after watching that#anyway what was I talking about?#Dee rambles about fandom#I'll pick a tag for that one day#moon knight#marvel#marc spector#steven grant#layla el faouly#moonscarab#technically??????#mcu#is this coherent
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when Feedback Song For A Dying Friend says "I must obey my only rival... he will command our twin revival!". the devotion to one's enemy. the hope in hatred. this is Maul. to mee
#hm i should make an original post tag#maul#and i do very much mean it in an obimaul way. of course.#gonna be thinking about drawing them to these words. idk what to draw but i sure will be Thinking.#btw if you are going to listen to the song i recommend you try the live version instead of the album version#the instrumental was originally going to be for a completely different set of lyrics and it shows in the original#(it was gonna be something about religion? but it sucked too bad so he turned it into a tribute to friends dying of aids)#(you look at the lyrics and wonder what the hell this has to do with dying of aids. idk either i just know that's what it is)
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the eternal struggle of reading webcomics/manga/manh(w/u)a that i think are really good but have cringe ass titles so i can't recommend them without someone doubting my sensibilities and taste in stories
#not that my tastes are *that* good...#or do people ask me for good comics often enough for this to be a real problem#or.. people talking to me at all for this conversation to come up...#anyway please ask for some comics to read. i need someone to join me in my warrior's path#of reading things but never finishing them because either they aren't done being#written and/or translated yet..#or whatever the word for when adhd says i can't read any more because the story is *too* good and so i get paralysis trying to keep reading#to anyone curious-#i just caught up with sss-class revival hunter#and was reminded how much of a sucker i am for romance... ;_:#GUH i can't gush in the tags here... there's already too many tags#but it's soo good#here's my recommend of it for those reading the tags:#really good starting plot- read a synopsis for that i'm bad at that#there's a little dip in attention keeping between the end of the introduction phase and when he starts floor 10#but if you get past that little dip it's all up hill from there#ough i'm still thinking about it.#IT'S NOT A ROMANCE BTW. the most recent plot is romance but that's not the overarching thing#at least for what's out. idk how much what happened is going to effect the rest of the story#ok ok i need to stop talking about it because i'm getting too riled up and overpowering the melatonin i took. don't want to break my sleep#schedule over this#key's lockbox#rambling in tags#btw i don't have shame in the stuff i read regardless of their bad titles#i just wanted to use this premise to get my words out about enjoying my latest read
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You know... I tried to hold back, I really did. I tried to convince myself that I already have so much going on and genuinely do not have the mental capacity for something like this
I've managed to hold out for almost two whole weeks and my resolve was strong, but unfortunately the Ye Olde Hyperfixation was stronger
#hey Kat. this is your fault#you're doing this to me. YOU. YOU AWAKENED THE OBSESSION WITH THIS DUMPSTER FIRE OF A SHOW BY BRINGING IT UP#DO YOU THINK I HAVE THE STRENGTH FOR WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY 139 FULL LENGTH MOVIES#THE FIRST EPISODE ALONE IS 100 MINUTES LONG#*deep sigh* okay. okay. calm down#this was gonna happen eventually#the three year anniversary of me starting this show properly for the first time is coming up and I would end up nostalgic sooner or later#kinda wish my mom was here so we could rant at each other about all the annoying parts#which comprise the overwhelming majority of this show#I don't know if I'm physically caoable of experiencing all of That again#but YouTube barely works nowadays so what else am I supposed to watch while I draw?#on my first runthrough it lasted me half a year. this time is gonna be quicker since mom and I only watched an episode or two a night#I could probably manage a few more. though idk these guys might start getting on my nerves#anyway who's up for another round of 'nia liveblogs their MC rewatch and complains about it endlessly'?#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#those are still recommended tags. btw. I may have moved on but tumblr Remembers#also you cannot convince me this isn't the best title sequence any show ever had#literally fight me
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i think. i should read more comics.
#space viking tag#i'm just not particularly interesting in the reincarnation plotline and that's what everyone always recommends so idk where to start#idk. i mean. maybe i shouldn't. i haven't really vibed with any non-mcu stuff i've encountered so far#including aoa which is often regarded as like. the peak of marvel loki. it was good! but it wasn't rlly for me.#i have a soft spot for toa bc it's whimsical and charming and prequelesque but i also have so many complaints#idk. hmmm.#i should probably look for some thor-centric stuff but i also dk if that will do aaanything i'm interested in#bc i *like* him in context with loki and i like going teehee he's not so heroic after all he's actually extremely LIKE LOKI#and i get a strong impression that his appeal in comics is much more straightforward like... they're playing it all straight#he just Is A Hero and the complexity is that he USED to be a bully. while i prefer BOTH of those things to be much much greyer#idk.......#at least when i'm engaging w/ stuff even if it is frustrating it keeps me thinking abt thor which i always on some level enjoy <3#i've felt so unfocused and untethered since like. november :-: i need my obsession back!!#it's even fun just to like. see their little faces.#comics thor is not rlly my boy but he's the root of my boy so w/e i see him on some like marvel postcard or whatever in a shop#i still get to go teehee it's my little guy :)#but i'm not a merch person at all interestingly enough. if i buy an object i WILL forget it exists within a week#maybe not if it had a practical function?#but i feel like over time that would fade into visual noise too like oh these are just my. oven gloves or whatever.#anyway what was i talking about
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ppl who only conditionally care about child abuse based on whether the victim makes them uncomfy while they're being abused contribute to a real life child's abuse by sending hate asks regularly, attempting to gaslight them, calling them terrible names, accusing them of terrible things, telling them directly how much they hate the characters the child relates to and enjoys talking about, and being generally racist and ableist in a way that seriously might have scarred me for life, making a literal teenager hate their hobbies, favorite shows, and the people who enjoy those things, and ultimately cyberbullying a child out of multiple fandoms because they don't want to think critically or acknowledge their own faults, all while being 35 and really embarrassing themselves because someone half their age has a better grasp on the concept of nuance than them: more at 6
but noooo, y'all "love neurodivergent/disabled people," have "racists/ableists DNI" in your bios, and don't say slurs, which is all you have to do to not be racist/ableist, so *I'm* some psycho black bitch and you're a wittle angel like the fictional character you infantilize
(P.S. I swear to fucking god if people respond to this post with "but he sexually assaulted someone" and ignore literally every other personality trait/experience he had that could've been relatable to a child abuse survivor and the way people mistreated me, a real human being, which Charlie is not by the way, I will start doing the things you wanted to do to Ben)
#heartstopper#young royals#ben hope#sara eriksson#<- the main people that are hated so much people will bully kids about it#yes i'm tagging. bc what the fuck is wrong with y'all#i had a more angry one. the ps is a sample from that. but having emotions is kind of cringe and embarrassing#basically uncovering memories about my indi-glo era#is very similar to uncovering memories about the child abuse some people here think i didn't go through at all#because i sympathized with a fellow victim! it's like being abused by my abusers but liberal edition#so i would just like to say you deserve the angry version#i hope you reflect and grow or whatever. that is my brand. BUT#y'all are fragile. and shallow. and you should try actually learning things about a group before you call yourself an ally of any group#this does include groups you are a part of. i'm telling you right now you're not getting it#if you feel so comfortable attacking disabled Black children when they point out ableism and racism in a show you like#and your first/only response is to dismiss ignore and attack them#i would recommend you learn something instead. you desperately need it#thanks for teaching me what racist idiots white people can be and what a fringe case i am in the pop disability community ig#anyways idk if this is self-centered to ask but if anyone who follows this blog would want to take ownership of it#in the event that i decide to blow this popsicle stand pls dm me
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i watched like 3 seasons of Hannibal and looking back on it i'm realizing it didn't really make me feel anything or think about anything in a new way. the only thing i thought while watching it was "wow these guys are fucked up" and the main thing i felt was "this is awesome lol"
#and i would recommend it#it just didn't leave any impression on me except for interested in hannibal and will's dynamic#i guess i was pretty interested in the way will saw the world too but a good show usually makes me think about the big things#i guess what really surprises me is that the biggest thing in the show was the relationship between will and hannibal#and in most similar shows aren't like that. the biggest thing is usually the action and plot#idk if i want to put this in the show's tag bc it might be taken as hate or maybe most people feel differently#maybe the story at large was more interesting than i remember or i missed some nuances#i'm not good at analyzing movies all the time#especially cinematographry and lighting kind of stuff. it doesn't really click for me#hannibal#i was probably supposed to think about relationships and abuse in general but it really doesn't#i have trouble comparing their dynamic to any other couples or groups in media or real life#but like when the guy put a body in a horse. was that supposed to represent something meaningful? like hannibal explained what it meant#but i didn't really care about whether or not i agreed with the statement it was making
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As I've said before (and will continue to say), Miyazaki's adaptation of Howl's Moving Castle is a great movie on its own, but it has some major differences from the original story, and that's ok!!
I personally prefer Dianna Wynne Jones' book. I read it first, she was already one of my favorite authors when I found it, it's the first of a series, and I just like it better. Howell is a disaster of a human and Sophie really needed to learn to see her own worth in the beginning. That stays, for the most part, the same.
I remember reading that the books are seen from Sophie's point of view and the movie could be viewed more from Howl's perspective.
Most of the characters are close to, if not the same as, their original characterization. You'll never get the full measure of a character in a movie because it is limited by multiple factors including runtime and ways to convey what a character is thinking without disrupting the visual story.
So sure, some of my favorite bits didn't make it to the movie. You don't get to find out about Howell's sister or niece or what actually happened with the Witch of the Waste, or much about Sophie's sisters and family.
But you could read the book yourself and find all those delightful little bits. You could read the sequel and even the book after that if you want more of them. You could check out DWJ's other books like Dark Lord of Derkholm or Chrestomanci, all of which lead to more stories in their series.
I would say that the movie has a different sort of magic to it. It has a couple changes that make it a better story for some people and it is a wonderful stand-alone. It has more emphasis on certain themes than the original work, but they are both great stories and worth experiencing.
You can even find an interview that's been posted online of DWJ about the movie if you want to learn her favorite scene and thoughts. I haven't watched the video (just read a summary) since I am posting this at 5 something in the morning.
ghibli failed to adapt this
#howls moving castle#hmc#dianna wynne jones#studio ghibli#movie adaptation#sorry if this has typos or isnt particularly coherent. i woke up at 4:40am with a stomachache and was distracting myself with tumblr#and i just love love love her books so every time i read someone finding out about HMC i have feelings#I've read the sequel and started the third book but got distracted by something or other#really recommend her other books. they're YA so they are good for almost all ages#i think the first book i read of here was the Lives of Christopher Chant and Witch Week#not gonna bother fixing typos in the tags I've been sick for going on five days and it's not worth it#basically you can sum this up as Both? Both are good. and if you havent read the book you should bc it's great.#and if you somehow haven't seen the movie. it's sweet and cute and a good story too so you should#idk what I'm saying anymore. books good. reading good. listen to the audiobooks if that's more your thing#rambling in the tags#i should reread some of her stuff soon
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I'm sure it's been talked about to death, but I just finished yuki yuna season 1 and wanted to talk about it. To be clear, this is fully my own thoughts and opinions. I think it's fully valid if other people feel differently. Also, I don't have the same disabilities as any of the characters, so I can't speak on representation of anything specific.
There were things I liked about the ending for sure. Yuna and Tougou had some very sweet moments, and I liked the emphasis on Yuna recovering through her own willpower rather than the gods' influence
But man I cannot overlook their disabilities being cured…
I understand, from a narrative perspective, that if a major part of the conflict is the gods taking away functionality in parts of your body as offerings, than the solution is taking it back from the gods. I understand that, if they didn't, it might feel like they lost. But they could still fight to break out of / change the system without all their losses being undone in the end!
I don't like disabilities being cured at the end of a story because it sends the message that you can't be disabled and have a happy ending. Like, being cured is the only happy ending. And I know the show wasn't trying to send this message, or at least I don't think it was, because Tougou had plenty of happy moments throughout the series. She was well-written as a wheelchair user, at least as far as I can tell as someone who doesn't use one. I think they did really well with her. But the ending still leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it does still imply that this was the only solution for them.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with the characters being upset after becoming disabled, or it messing with their self worth. Disability can be scary, especially when it's new, and in cases like Itsuki's it can mess with people's aspirations and drastically change the trajectory of people's lives. I think that that's accurate and real. I think they're allowed to be angry and upset for having so much taken from them. But I don't think them getting it back sends the best message to the audience. (And I feel like some of the stuff the characters said about Sonoko seemed kind of offensive? But idk if that was just the translation in the version of the subtitles I had)
I don't think I'll ever recover from my disability. It drastically messes with my life, it makes many things way more difficult, but I know it's not going away. I'm not mad about it anymore. I'm okay. I can still be happy and have a good life. So a story where the characters fully recover doesn't feel inspirational or motivating to me, it feels uncomfortable. I know disabilities can sometimes be recovered from, and I'm not trying to dismiss anyone's experiences, but as someone who won't recover, I'd find it much better to see characters thrive AND stay disabled.
It would still be a victory for them if they didn't have to fight and sacrifice anymore. It would still be a victory for them to keep on living after everything. They don't need a full recovery to be heroes.
#if anyone's made an AU where they stay disabled please let me know 👀 I want to see#I would love if Itsuki maybe found another way to pursue music!#she can't sing anymore but maybe she could play an instrument or compose or write lyrics!#also I feel like they didn't do much with Fuu's disability? idk she gets the eyepatch and then it's never really talked about#I feel like they could've better displayed her lack of depth perception or her bumping into things or something#but I am not half blind so idk what I'm talking about!#that also goes for Tougou's hearing though. idk I feel like these things would affect them more#I like that one scene where Yuna's eating and she really likes the texture of the food though!#that made me happy :))#I want to make it clear that I don't think they handled most of this stuff poorly! I think there's maybe more they could've done?#and I don't like the ending. but otherwise it's not bad!#at least from my perspective#but I have a very different experience with my disability#in some ways at least.#so I don't want to talk over anyone else#which is why this isn't going in the tags yippee#also because I feel like fans of the series are probably tired of hearing this criticism over and over -v-#it's important! but I understand it maybe getting repetitive#overall I had a good time watching the show and I'd probably recommend it even!#(I mean I just spoiled it if you haven't watched it but. yeah)#it's just the ending that bothered me as a disabled person#but I still think a lot of things in that last episode were nice :)) I liked seeing the characters enjoy their lives#as the heroes they choose to be#rather than the heroes the gods wanted them to be
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#tag talk#learning language just makes my brain vibrate on just the right frequency#my goal for the rest of this year and the year coming is to get really good at Spanish#between Language Transfer (really fucking good go check it out thanks to my sibling recommending it to me) and then#then all the immersion I've been doing with music and TV#I feel like I stand a chance of getting genuinely good at it#I have this dream of knowing several other languages but I need to start by developing the skill with a language I'm already familiar with#and now I'm medicated I can finally push for like.. an actual goal and achievement#this feels like an extension of my obsession with communication.#which now that I think about it. a lot of things I love have a strong communication aspect to them.#music. fashion. art. they all communicate ideas.#that's even maybe what I like about porn. it's a work that's designed to communicate a very specific feeling and idea#and kink is an expression of power and trust. control and release. poetry.#do these tags read like the ramblings of a mad man? am I just throwing darts at a wall and connecting them with red string?#maybe I am crazy. but I'm not wrong. I'm autistic I'm incapable of believing I'm wrong.#is that joke in poor taste? probably.#anyway. I love communication and learning Spanish is my gateway to an entire world of ideas embedded in the structure of language itself#plus it would probably help my ability to keep up with my brother's dreams of traveling abroad#and I could help him learn languages cause I love teaching and he's not as hardwired for it as I am.#oh also I bought a vocabulary book to work through because language transfer is teaching me the grammar and structure#but I need vocabulary to back it up#I have a small work vocabulary I use with the customers who don't speak English very well. shit like “this. it works?”#but even like. idk. I'm really good at understanding people with difficult speech.#one resident at my nursing home had severe muscle degeneration and couldn't do much outside of vague flopping#but she would still try to speak and I got pretty good at understanding her and having conversations while feeding her.#she was in the navy and ate a bunch of neat food in Korea and she's the reason I finally watched Jaws for the first time#and like.. my ability to understand is what let her influence my life like that. I got to connect with another human being.#like. it's a gift that enhances my life and I want to choose to shape my life around this gift.#my love and obsession with communication is something I've had my whole life and if is something constant I need to consider it#so many other things in my life are shifting and uncertain. I want to chase the constant source of joy that's a part of who I am.
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