ur-stepdad

[ur-stepdad]

Ppl who wanna say r*tard without consequence again are desperate to come off as nonchalant and apathetic to what you think but they're always writing some PhD dissertation to justify it bc deep down they either know it's wrong or hate that ppl think they sound like a COD lobby toddler saying it

[ur-stepdad]

Hey! So I have a Black oc who is a trans man and he has had top surgery, my problem is I'm having trouble finding references for what top surgery scars look like on darker skin (especially since his skin is pretty dark) I've found a few pictures of relatively newer scars but my oc has had them for a while so they've faded a bit

I have trouble finding references for how darker skin scars in general (I've found one video on it! It's called "Why does dark skin scar different than light skin" by you look okay to me and it talks about how keloid scarring and Hyperpigmentation is more common and how they didn't really know what they're scars were gonna look like when they got a surgery because all the references online were white people) so if you have any recommendations at all that would be great! I want to be able to depict it right even if this is mainly just a personal oc and I'm really struggling to know how much they might fade and how long it might take

Also thank you for this blog! It's super helpful and has helped me learn just how many little things I picked up from my conservative upbringing without realizing! Thank you so much and have a great day!

Keloiding and hyperpigmentation sound right to me! You just might not be able to see it as well on deep brown skin, because it's already deeply melanated.

I absolutely welcome feedback from Black trans folk!

[ur-stepdad]

Do not quit alcohol cold turkey

Do not suddenly stop drinking alcohol as a new years resolution if you have been consistently using alcohol most days

Your body gets used to the presence of the alcohol as a sedative in your system

Suddenly removing the sedative you are chemically accustomed to is like suddenly removing the wall you are leaning on - you will topple over

You brain electricity gets overexcited

This causes seizures

This causes sudden onset dementia (Wernicke's encephalopathy)

This causes brain damage

If you use alcohol often (even in moderate amounts)

Or in large amounts

Or you have ever noticed you get shakey tremors and anxious when you stop drinking

Then your body is chemically dependant and you need to be very careful coming off alcohol otherwise you will cause brain damage

Slowly wean down the amount you drink over days or weeks

Talk to a doctor about your goals to quit and ask about support options

Medically supported withdrawal is a lot safer

If alcohol withdrawal goes badly there is a 15% chance it will kill you.

Do not go this alone

You deserve to be safe

[ur-stepdad]

Cybertruck blew up outside Trump's hotel in Vegas. Wild footage, I've never seen an EV flat-out detonate like that and I'm thinking that it wasn't the battery.

[ur-stepdad]

idk who needs to hear this today but you don't have to marry a man if you don't want to

[ur-stepdad]

reading progressive sex ed caricatures with accurate and detailed and realistic diagrams of sexual organs + shows their variation, but all i can think about is how there is no discussion of what srs is besides the fact that it exists

[ur-stepdad]

I do wish that "oppositional sexism" was a more commonly known term. It was coined as part of transmisogyny theory, and is defined as the belief that men and women, are distinct, non-overlapping categories that do not share any traits. If gender was a venn diagram, people who believe in oppositional sexism think that "men" and "women" are separate circles that never touch.

The reason I think that it's a useful term is that it helps a lot with articulating exactly why a lot of transphobic people will call a cis man a girl for wearing nail polish, then turn around and call a trans woman a man. Both of those are enforcement of man and woman as non-overlapping social categories. It's also a huge part of homophobia, with many homophobes considering gay people to no longer really belong to their gender because they aren't performing it to their satisfaction.

It's a large part of the reason behind arguments that men and women can't understand each other or be friends, and/or that either men or women are monoliths. If men and women have nothing in common at all, it would be difficult for them to understand each other, and if all men are alike or all women are alike, then it makes sense to treat them all the same. Enforcing this rift is particularly miserable for women and men in close relationships with each other, but is often continued on the basis that "If I'm not a real man/woman, they won't love me anymore."

One common "progressive" form of oppositional sexism is an idea often put as the "divine feminine", that women are special in a way that men will never understand. It's meant to uplift women, but does so in ways that reinforce the idea that men and women are fundamentally different in ways that can never be reconciled or transcended. There's a reason this rhetoric is hugely popular among both tradwifes and radical feminists. It argues that there is something about women that men will never have or know, which is appealing when you are trying to define womanhood in a way that means no man is or ever has been a part of it.

You'll notice that nonbinary people are sharply excluded from the definition. This doesn't mean it doesn't apply to them, it means that oppositional sexism doesn't believe nonbinary people of any kind exist. It's especially rough on multigender people who are both men and women, because the whole idea of it is that men and women are two circles that don't overlap. The idea of them overlapping in one person is fundamentally rejected.

I think it's a very useful term for talking about a lot of the problems that a lot of queer people face when it comes to trying to carve out a place for ourselves in a society that views any deviation from rigid, binary categories as a failure to perform them correctly.

[ur-stepdad]

The gynecologist was surprised to learn I wanted an IUD because apparently another trans guy just recently told her, very confidently, that he can't get pregnant because T makes you infertile.

Guys. Boys. Dudes. Folks... Don't play with fire.

Testosterone can inhibit some of the other hormonal levels that trigger ovulation, making ovulation less predictable. Many peoples’ ovaries will release eggs less frequently, if at all. However, this doesn’t mean that ovulation entirely stops if someone is taking testosterone. This means that a person on T can still be fertile and get pregnant while on testosterone.

[ur-stepdad]

FACTS!

[ur-stepdad]

bullies who realized its not cool any more to mock people directly for being fat and trans and autistic when they discover furries and polyamorous people

[ur-stepdad]

u have to just get comfortable with the idea that every medical procedure involves risk, having a body at all involves risk, & defending bodily autonomy can't be contingent on defending only the actions that (you think) correspond with the least risk

[ur-stepdad]

you are 16. you are talking with a gay man in his 50s or 60s, a friend, huge and gentle with a scarf and short fluffy curls of gray hair, who has directed you in two plays staged in your mid-size artsy town. (he has not yet asked you to be in his production of The Laramie Project which will change your life. this conversation will also change your life.)

he is talking about theatre. he is talking about theatre when he was younger. he says, "of course, it was AIDS then." in the pause, you ask him. clumsy and quiet and 16 and "straight," you ask him. what was it like.

he takes a moment in which his face is not like a person's face. "there was a time," he says, "i'm not sure how long, years. when i went to a funeral every weekend." he tells you about two funerals in a day, and choosing between friends when you couldn't make it to both. he does not look at you, he looks at them. his wet grey gaze is so clear that you start to see ghosts. it will be years before you understand why it feels like your grief too. why the ghosts call you family.

[ur-stepdad]

Hi speaking of medical literacy for trans people, transfems pls check out the website Transfeminine Science, especially their introductory article on feminizing HRT

[ur-stepdad]

and i will continue to make fucking noise about the fact our representation is disappearing rapidly during a key moment in history!!

[ur-stepdad]

What's the process if you're a superhero and you come out as trans

Do you tell your villains?

Do you keep it a secret so no one can connect Spider-Man with your secret identity for a while? Or do you pop a pronouns pin on your costume and the next time you web up Doctor Octopus and he goes "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME SPIDER-MAN" you go "Spider-Girl actually! I've been figuring out some shit"

[ur-stepdad]

seeing some people on tdor posting "mourn for the dead fight like hell for the living" while the rest of the year they say the most whorephobic shit and don't do anything to actually make our community safe for sex workers makes me want to scream. at least half of trans people murdered this year were sex workers. every trans sex worker i know has people that we've lost and seeing how people show up to mourn our deaths but refuse to support us while we're alive is maddening.

[ur-stepdad]