#this stupid body with all its problems
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I’m sick and I’m hurt and it’s slowly become too sick and too hurt and everything is just too much and I have no relief from any of it.
#sick#overwhelmed#disregulated#it’s too much#this stupid body with all its problems#I did not sign up for a meat suit#I don’t want a meat suit#I just need to cry#so much#so much crying
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can we all remember to just say 'oh no thank you, i dont like that kind of food' but apply that logic and rules to shipping and letting other people ship again
#my t#dirkhal#yes im tagging this because thats what this is about#i see the start of another stupid fucking morality-based ship war in this tag and im not here for it#dirkhal is historically considered stridercest#using stridercest as an umbrella term#it doesnt mean the -cest part has to mean incest if you dont want it to. it can absolutely mean selfcest#davedavesprite is also concidered stridercest but its much more in line with dirkhal in that its selfcest. see the logic?#but like#can yall be fucking nice to your neighbours weve been here for a long time and havent been hurting anyone#if you can come to terms with the thought of dirkhal with hal/AR CANONICALLY being a brain clone of a 13y/o dirk#when we have no actual solid evidence to prove that he ages like dirk does in his physical body#then you can learn to share a fucking tag. because nothing in stridercest mirrors actual irl criminal or harmful activity#because its playing with dolls. we're all playing with our barbies and ponies here#and the problem with all of us trying to play w/ our barbies and ponies is that some very scared people see other ppl enjoying making ponie#kiss and they start screaming and trying to take all of our toys away when they dont actually have a monopoly on any of these toys. we shar#we share. that is what we do in fandom. theres an infinite amount of ways to interpret dirkhal#if you dont apply this logic to fans who enjoy things like game of thrones then dont do it here#take a step back and breath. we're all being normal. youre being a bad guest. please learn to share again. youre not being hurt#having a reaction to art is not actually Being Hurt
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all r-dfem blogs on here are always posting 3 things: a) most vitriolic disgusting display of shaming people for how they look which almost always implicitly or explicitly aligns with some kind of eugenics or racism, b) how everyone who isnt them or disagrees with them is stupid or misguided or has no hope left for them, and c) how lonely and isolated they feel all the time . I wonder when they will join the dots
#like. i do know people who self identify as radfems and they are nice they dont fit these bullet points#but like. that polite persona they exert is a mask for either a LOT of bitterness and a huge lack of empathy. or a lot of self hatred#that is then expressed by being so unnecessarily mean to other people behind their backs 😭#and im all for being mean occasionally im not one to cry and clutch my pearls when people are cunts to other people#but when theres a specific pattern of being mean to specific people (often other women and especially transfems)#for specific things (looks & taste & intelligence). well then its a problem innit#and then theyre also horrible about men which is like. Whatever. but i am off the belief that making fun of anyone#for their looks or appearance or their body and things that they cant help is just so fucking shallow and bleak and stupid#theres plenty of things to make fun of men for like soooooooooooo so many things#and yet the most popular way of doing it. or the one that a lot of these people (radfems and adjacent) think is either most funny#or most cathartic is making fun of mens appearance#so what if hes ''ugly'' and has male pattern baldness and a thick chin and big nose or whatever. i thought we were here to#idk. dismantle the patriarchy. knock men down a notch on the hierarchy. criticise a culture that encourages misogyny#call out the abuse and belittlement of women by men every day. you know. the things intrinsic to our society because of#capitalism and patriarchy and conservativism etc.#NOT perpetuating the culture that shames people for things that they cant change#and if they WANT to change these aspects youre shaming them for they have to spend ludicrous amounts of money#this is the mindset that makes me think bitch we are never getting out of capitalism !!!!!!!!!!#starting shaming behaviours not looks like im BEGGING YOU!!!!!!!!!!#okay thats all i have to say im really sick of this. and some of my mutuals do this and its really upsetting me sorry .
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Y'all ever had that one F/O or Crush from media that you either just a casual fan or never watch at all and just decides to like that character solely out of their vibe????
#okay since I started this I go first lol#its Roronoa Zoro hshsjsksjs#oKAY SHHH LISTEN LISTEN I CAN EXPLAINNNN#i watch OP but ONLY CASUALLY#and then I just stopped at somewhere pre-timeskip#theres just too much for me to catch up now I just didnt bother and also shh out that spork down because im about to say something bad#turns out I dont really vibe with OP like this is totally a me problem and i just dont like the cringy anime exaggerated action thing#idk how to explain but you know when anime character go EHHHHH and HAAAAAA and make weird faces?? yeah turns out i dont like that when-#i get older lol I liked OP as a teenager but as I get older i just dont like it lol#but oh god all of this doesnt matter the only reason why I tolerated with OP in the first place is because of Zoro#his stupid sexy voice and his stupid sexy grin and his stupid sexy body and his stupid sexy attitude and his stupid sexy-#this stupid green haired man made me go to ao3 actively seeking his y/n fanfic#and i have to pretend I know which character is which#i'll be like “mmhmm yes i know this bad guy he's a pirate mhmm yes angsty sword fight and OH why are you pantless zoro????” when im reading#but skxhgxjdks ENOUGH i said too much this is so embarassing akdhdjissbsjap#now someone please tell me if they had the same situation like me or im just a weirdooo 😭😭😭😭#asuka speaks#selfship talk
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wait can you explain to me the difference between roxas and sora i thought they were the same person
OKAY SO SORRY TO ANYONE WHO UNDERSTANDS KH LORE IF I GET SOMETHING WRONG BUT I WILL DO MY BEST
so in kh when you lose your heart your heart becomes a heartless and your empty husk becomes a nobody. if you have a strong will (morality is irrelevant) your nobody is basically just a person.
so in kh1 sora temporarily releases his own heart for plot reasons (dont worry about it) and so he became a heartless briefly WHICH ALSO CREATED A NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!! and that nobody is ROXAS.
they are separate entities who are connected. as namine puts it, roxas "holds half of what sora is". whatever the fuck thats supposed to mean. they share some memories i think? and by that i mean roxas has flashbacks to sora through dreams and sora gets deja vu after he and roxas reunite (and by that i mean sora eats him like a twin in the womb but dont worry about that). but theyre different people!!! also they have slightly different personalities but you can just read their wiki descriptions because i do not feel like describing them in detail
sora and all his sortas are all different people. also ventus and roxas are not the same person despite being identical. dont worry about it its fine i totally know whats going on <- (lying)
#kingdom hearts#keep in mind im currently playing kh2 and have only finished kh1 and recom#honestly i think yen sid explained what nobodys are pretty well if you can find his exposition dump#also sidenote nobodies dont have hearts so they dont have emotion SORT OF#but its pretty inconsistent tbh#like they get frustrated and angry and also i think kh3 retconned it to say roxas does have a heart?#which makes no sense#also the names heartless and nobodies are stupid because heartless have hearts and nobodies have bodies but whatever#and axel at one point in com is SHOCKED to realize hes enjoying causing problems#which is really funny i think#anyways kh lore is inconsistent especially when it comes to nobodies#also i think sora and roxas are a weird case w the memory sharing thing#i think theyre the only ones to do that#besides maybe namine? not sure though dont quote me on that#oh btw a quick and easy way to tell if somebody is a nobody is if they have an x in their names#not all them do (see: namine) and not all the people who do are nobodies (see: xion i think)#xion might be a nobody actually#i dont know#and i dont wanna check the wiki because im excited for days#but yeah#also the names are anagrams!! i didnt know that until now#theyre anagrams plus an x. again minus namine and xion i think
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Anxiety is so STUPID i have an interview for a retail job at the mall today and im literally feeling sick to my stomach with anxiety why is my body like this
#.txt#i mean#i know why#its cause i only got help with my problems as a kid when it was an emergency so now my body thinks all problems are emergencies#wow actually just thinking that made my stomach feel a little better huh#my body is so stupid sometimes
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Vent
#if there's anyone I vent to about emotional sex problems pls hmu#I keep trying to work on it with my therapist#but it's hard to say stuff#I just need to talk to someone pls#I feel like such a loser but I feel like I'm never actually gonna be touched and it's scaring and depressing me#whenever I try to get into a lee headspace my body gets a literal cold chill feeling of 'thatll never be you'#and it hurts my chest#I know it's so lame I hate how it sounds and I hate me#but ever since I can remember all I've ever wanted was to be touched n tickled by safe people who love me#and the deep rooted reason why I'm sucidial is because I feel like it's never gonna happen and its painful living this way#I can't be 40 and untouched I just can't do it#but I don't have the body or personality or spirit that people wanna touch#I dunno this is so stupid but im so sad#I had a great night with my friend but the moment im done I just get this#this cold sickening feeling that im never gonna get tickled#I know that's so fucking stupid but it's all I want it's the only thing that's gonna make me happy#my therapist keeps asking me what I want and all I want is that and I feel pathetic saying it#but fuck I wanna be IN somebody's arms#I hope my friend still had a good time I did too#my brain is just stupid n ruins everything#I saw this super cute video of this girl getting tickled and I was imagining myself#but- I dunno how to explain it- this cold sick scared sucidial feeling hits me in the chest and stomach#telling me that it's extremely unlikely that anyone would wanna touch me like that#it's this unmovable thing that won't go away no matter how much hope people try to give me#I hate how simple and shallow this is but all I want is to be tickled#God I'm crying so hard why do I suck so much as a human being I don't wanna be this way
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i dislike the dentist for so many reasons but what is it about them that can just make you feel like a berated small child who has done something wrong but doesn't quite understand why they are getting scolded
#like ok yes i understand as an adult why i am getting scolded#but also it makes me feel so small and stupid#i brush twice a day i don't know why my teeth are like this i do my best and my best doesn't include flossing every day#like i don't know what to say#i know its partly genetics because my mom has similar problems but god#no other part of your body demands this much maintenance#what the fuck is it about teeth#anyway now i have to go back TWICE because the hygienist was basically so displeased with my teeth that she wants to do a deep cleaning#something i had no idea existed but takes TWO sessions and numbing#also i have a cavity but that's like lol whatever at this point#and some of this i have to pay for out of pocket but it seems like insurance covers a good portion#bc i asked how much it was and it wasn't awful#but GOD i hate it#i hate it so bad#like i legit almost cried and now i have a headache from it and it makes me feel pathetic like i'm nearing 30 this is so fucking stupid#i can deal with the discomfort from the cleaning itself its all the emotional shit that they seem to lay on you that just...ugh
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The greatest curse of Us, without a doubt, is the... us-centrism of the fact that we are Us and no one else. Our view on the world is limited and we are frequently subject to the logical fallacy of The Curse Of Knowledge and we're even more frequently beset upon by the fact that some people, like, are Genuinely Averse to depictions of things they've Dealt With themselves.
Like, what do you mean you're talking about this thing as a reason that this media sucks? What do you mean you actively avoid media that depicts things you went through? Do you not gain that feeling of connection from watching people go through something similar to what you did? Do you lack the feelings that are so easy to conjure up in a strong way from seeing a character dealing with the Same Damn Shit? Do you not look at art to feel things?
#this is a very long winded way to say that we got a media recommendation from a callout post again#we speak#“this media contains depictions of medical abuse and nonconsensual surgery and it puts heavy emphasis on these things”#“it highlights this transplanted thing and the difference from his body constantly”#and we're nodding along like “oh yeah sounds awesome”#and then they hit us with “i don't know why they thought this was appropriate for a family friendly franchise"#“other than the sheer ignorance of the developers about disabled peoples' medical experiences”#like HUH??? WHAT??? do you think that people only include fucked up shit that also happens to real people out of ignorance???#like. even ignoring the obvious “people can create depictions of real and fucked up stuff and that is in no way inherently bad” thing#have you never seen half of the family friendly things in the past decade? did you not read books as a kid? have you never revisited like#any kind of childhood books or games or movies or anything???#theres fucked up shit in kids media all the time! we'll go so far as to say that there should be MORE fucked up shit in kids media#because you need! to actually learn shit exists and figure out how to deal with it! and the earlier you can figure it out the better!#and even ignoring that like. its an AUTONOMY ISSUE. which is the one thing that kids will probably be able to connect to best!#because the single problem that kids and disabled fucks like us have in common the most is lack of autonomy!#a kid will be able to understand and connect with this issue because they have spent their lives surrounded by people#who sign them up to have things done with their bodies without first asking permission from them#who will have things done for them because they're kids and in their eyes cannot be trusted to make decisions of their own#even ignoring that disabled kids exist too and will be able to understand like. most of them will be able to recognize that kinds thing#theyre kids. they arent stupid. they can see this and relate to it as having problems Like Them but slightly more exaggerated#and maybe we're a bit opinionated about this but like#we're disabled! every word on this screen only makes us want to check this out because hey! sounds like the kind of shit we'd like!#we are VISCERALLY FAMILIAR with the kind of shit that people go through because guess what! we've been in the pits too!#we can appreciate the content warning for what its worth but the tone and the way youre saying it is just#look. we're sorry you didn't like it. different strokes for different folks and et cetera. what can help one person can harm another.#acting like medical abuse is a subject that should never be depicted in media for anyone but Mature Adults(tm) or whatever is just#bad#not to have opinions on childrens media but LACK of disabled people and such in media very much fucked us up more than them existing#let the kids have their medical abuse narrative and maybe itll give them a point to connect or get through something of their own#because let us tell you. having points to compare to? having even a fictionalized depiction to relate to?
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#*problems occur on a project multiple ppl r working on* my boss @ me: what do u wanna do?#me. disastrously burnt out: i couldnt not even to give a fuck abt all this. i dont care i dont care i dont care#but thats not what i say. i say ok ill talk to the ppl and see how i can drop everything to help. and that probably means driving an hour#away to the other uni which is irrationally terrifying to me to the point where it will probably destroy my whole week a prevent me from#sleeping when i already am struggling to sleep. but its fine. ill get it done and itll be fine. for this stupid fucking project i dont#care abt. ay its so weird. ive never been this angry abt things. i mean its not even really anger its more dispair and frustration but it#manifests as just wanting to scream and throw a fit like a toddler. and i mean its my fault. i dont have to live the way that i do. i mean#i do but in an irrational compulsive way that i cant entirely control. but like its Saturday and i sepent 6 and a half hours taking#measurements and then met with my boss for like an hour and she was showing me cool imagines and talking abt cool new collaborators at her#new school and im just sitting there trying to maintain a smile bc my brain is semi disconnected from my body and im so exhausted#ugh. my brain is so fucked rn. i dont want to drive with even lower functioning thsn usual. and i was gonna meet my friend Tuesday morning#for once. and i might have to drive back and forth multiple days. ans what's my reward if were successful? two fucking weeks of watering#and measurement taking and i might have to stand around other ppl in all that time as well. usually im off spinning in circles by myself#amd looking unapproachable. i dont want to have to b a person around the undergrads#god im so weird. its like from the outside perspective if u were looking thru the window at me u would see me using a hammer and assume im#putting something together and i am but im also hammering nails thru my hand which no one asked me to do#so then why do i have to do it? ugh. thats y its a hard thing to complain abt bc ppl r like oh it sounds like ur compulsive habbits make u#productive and successful and yea sure but they're also destroying my life. im laying on the floor doubled over in pain and ppl r like oh#look how useful u r. who gives a fuck everything feels stretched and distorted like im suffering some sort of selfimposed Devin punishment#whatever. fuck this. tomorrow ill try my hardest to relax. literally i cant remember the last time i stayed in bed until at least 7am. ugh#but i also have some bullshit i have to get done tomorrow so well see#uuuuuugh let me leave this place @ schools send me ur official offers pls i wanna plan out my life for the next 5yrs#unrelated
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i am so much more mentally ill than i was last year but also in different ways. the problems i had a year ago have not gone away but i care significantly less now #growth unfortunately my current problems are now worse.
#i dont havé the mental fortitude to look at the long ass new years resolution list i made in my notes app when my phone was dying on the bu#s back from school#but i saw someone posting abt their resolutions and i remembered tjem and man everything i cared about was so stupid likr none of it mattere#d all my problems were so small#i mean i remember the state i was in around this time last year and thays not entirely true i was dealing witj scjool and a job etc but most#of my resolutions were just to stop caring so much abt things that#i never should have cared about in the first place#not that my problems are that bad now. many of them would be solved by not having a fever and not pmsing#some of them tho. are representative of larger issues. but i handle them#i just want to mot have to handle them for once i think having a fever is my body’s way of telling me to slow down and relax and not try to#have everything together but ive been sick for so many days that its getting old and i want to be done and there are legit things to do like#fucking finals#but i will survive life goes on etc#im not usually a new years resolution person but i think it might help to be more thoughtful and introspective instead of repressing#everything so perhaps i shall try again this year
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i hate periods 🔥 🔥 🔥 (<this is me trying to burn mine so it is gone forever)
#fUCK this shit#it hurts it’s inconvenient it’s such a large hassle it’s just another thing i have to buy stuff for#and it serves me specifically NO PURPOSE!!!!!!!!!#I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i would be less of a whiny cry baby about them if mines were light#but NOOOOOOO#IT HAS TO FUCKING LEAK EVERYWHERE FOR THE FIRST THREE DAYS UNLESS I HAVE A TAMPON IN AT ALL TIMES#FUUUUUUUCKKKKK THIS#I AM SO GOD DAMN TIRED OF STAINING MY UNDERWEAR AND LIVING IN NEAR CONSTANT PARANOIA#THAT MY PERIOD WILL START#BECAUSE ITS SO FUCKING INCONSISTENT THAT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE A JUMPSCARE EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS#i don’t have the worst cramps in the world but they’re still bad enough where it would be very hard to function without pain meds#and even THAT isn’t my biggest issue with them right now#i hate them i hate them i hate them i want to get RID of them#i need to find a way to telepathically communicate with my ovaries and uterus and be like#“i do not want children please stop releasing eggs and shedding your lining when no eggs attach”#LIKE WDYM THIS WHOLE STUPID ASS PROBLEM IS MY BODY JUST BEING FUCKING FERTILE#STOP THAT SHIT!!!#NO!!!!#THERE SHOULD BE A WAY I CAN JUST TELL MY BODY I DONT WANT THAT AND THEY TURN IT OFF!!!!!!!!!#now instead i have to have a whole ass conversation with a doctor to mess with hormones#hate it hate it hate IT#kiwi shares their thoughts
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Actually I'm not done talking about Mr. Simon Fucks-Himself-Stupid Riley just yet :(
I'm picturing a scenario where you, a civilian, are visiting your boyfriend at his base. Maybe you're there to deliver something, like a file he forgot at home or the lunch he said he didn't need. Either way, whatever your cover story for being there is, the end result is the same: you, on your back, knees up by your ears, sprawled across Simon's desk as he fucks you like his life depends on it.
Being a Lieutenant grants him the luxury of having a private office where he can engage in such extracurriculars, but that doesn't mean it's without some major risks – namely, prying ears that might be lurking in the hallway outside.
But being discreet shouldn't be an issue, should it? I mean, a man known infamously as “Ghost” should have no problem staying quiet, right?
Wrong.
Turns out, not only does that tight hole of yours reduce your boyfriend to a dumb, drooling mess, it makes him a dumb, drooling mess who can't keep his fucking mouth shut.
So while you have the wherewithal to clamp a hand over your lips to try muffling your lewd noises, Simon is out here moaning and groaning unabashedly like something sent forward in time from the Paleolithic. You could try asking him to cover his mouth, but it seems an impossible task; his hands are a little preoccupied with making sure he doesn't fuck you right over the edge of his desk.
While you don't want to stop, you also don't want to get caught, so you settle for urging him to keep it down. It's after a third softly gasped ‘N-Need to be qu-quiet, Si’ that your warning finally worms its way into his brain, and he acts in a way to appease you, just… not how you expect.
Swiftly, Simon removes his hold of your waist and brings one of his arms forward. He grabs for the center of his t-shirt, tugs the material up, and quickly stuffs the fabric into his mouth.
It only takes a split second for the action to happen, but immediately, you see how effective it is. The moment that standard, army-issued tee is captured between Simon's teeth, there's a drastic reduction of noise in the room.
Now, he can fuck into you with reckless abandon, and he snaps his hips forward with enough force to make your whole body ripple. Even as you pulse and constrict around him (sometimes inadvertently, sometimes not), the sounds that climb their way up Simon's throat are heavily dampened by his cotton gag.
It's as Simon begins the ascent to his peak that the cloth in his mouth really comes into play. As he pumps into you, he starts grunting lowly, gutturally, exhaling through his nostrils in quick, harsh bursts. It's a deep sound, animalistic in nature, like a bull huffing before it digs its heels into the dirt and charges.
His thrusts turn sloppier and sloppier the closer he nears his high, his hips propelled forward only by some basic hindbrain instinct. His lashes start to flutter, his eyes roll towards the back of their sockets, and when he cums, he throws his head back in a full-blown snarl.
Simon's a bit shaky on his feet after he climaxes in you, but he manages to pull out before he stumbles backwards, plopping down heavily into his chair. As you start cleaning yourself up, you see how he makes no attempt to move. He just sits there, completely brainless, pants around his ankles and t-shirt still tucked between his teeth. You have to walk over to him and purposefully tug on the shirt to get him to release it, and once it's freed, you see the damage that's been done.
In the center of Simon's shirt rests a big, blotchy wet spot, like he's tried to do his own slobbery take on the classic Rorschach test. The fabric's been wrinkled to all hell and there's a few imprints left behind from where his teeth had bitten down, and if you were to inspect the hem closely, you'd see where he popped a stitch or two in his ecstasy.
The sight of his mangled shirt has you tutting in disapproval. He can't walk out of his office looking like this, and he certainly can't forgo wearing a shirt altogether. What would the people around base say if they saw their normally put together Lieutenant looking so unkempt? You don't think he'd ever hear the end of it, nor would you for that matter.
In the meantime, as you wait for Simon's brains to un-liquify themselves, maybe you can scrounge up something else for him to wear. There's got to be something lying around here to help make him presentable once again. It's too bad as part of your cover you didn't think to bring an extra set of clothes to change into.
You'll have to remember for next time.
#ok now i'm done :)#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley smut#ghost smut#cod smut#ghost cod#ghost mw2#simon riley x you#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#call of duty#modern warfare 2
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I just want to give. why can't I.
why do I have to be STUCK. In a body that CLEARLY isn't even MINE,
CONSTANTLY DAYDREAMING, about a GIVER that I'm clearly NEVER GOING TO BE?!
#I HATE THIS#I HATE THIS. I HATE THIS SO MUCH#LET ME OUT. NOT OF THIS HOME NOT OF THIS LIFE JUST#OUT Of this..... stupid fucking body im in. I cant do anything i cant think of anything i cant give anything i can barely FUNCTION in the#body i was given. i hate this. i hate this so much#and im gonna COME BACK HERE. BECAUSE ISNT THAT FUNNY? THIS IS A REOCCURRING PROBLEM. I CAN’T LIVE IN MY OWN SKIN. I CANT CHANGE IT.#I CANT EVEN FUCKING KILL MYSELF. BECAUSE MY BODY HATES ME. I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS. IM GONNA KEEP COMING BACK HERE AND NOTHING#IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO STOP THIS FUCKING H E L L I LIVE IN. I WANT TO APPRECIATE EVERYTHING IVE GIVEN- IK I HAVE THE BEST LIFE THE AVERAGE#KID COULD ASK FOR. BUT CAN I ENJOY IT ALL? NO. BECAUSE OF THIS. I HAVE SUPER SUPPORTIVE PARENTS. I HAVE A BEST FRIEND FOR FUCKS SAKE.#IM CONSTANTLY BEING GIVEN MORE THAN TVIS BODY DESERVES AND IT NEVER STOPS THE PAIN. I. HATE. THIS. SO. MUCH. I DONT WANNA DIE BUT I DONT#WANNA LIVE EITHER. ITS THIS NEAR CONSTANTLY OR IM 10STEPS AWAY FROM REALITY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#...#vent
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hergaberhahdjx
#tag later i want to to f*cking D*e to d*ath#fk#order is fake. idc anymore. oh my god. i did ten days thus far.#thats already better than four years ago but like#i actually hurt so bad im like. maybe ill kms on november 1st lol. pain too bad#but at the same time 10 days means nothing if its all shit#:(#notirious for fuckin' everything i touch up. and i cant learn either bc i have Problems that hold me back.#doesnt matter if my brain remembers. the synapses. the skill.. its futile. its useless.#i cant command a body that works. so its stupid.#fktober#botdbs#c-cfk#day 5 was kinda cute to do tho :) reminded me of when i was young#rather the way i used to draw.#mfk#......:(#gucci forde#con. te. partiroooo
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I swear my older brother be tryna push me back into ed thinking sometimes
#ahu.txt#SHUT UP SHUT UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT HOW SKINNY AND FRAIL AND PERFECT ADA WONG LOOKS#YES MY ARMS ARENT AS SKINNY AS HERS AND YES I WOULDNT EVER WEAR HER STUPID OUTFIT#he asks 'what? why? insecure?' yes now can we just finish the dlc#'you should try to look like her.' i said 'yeah i did once' he said 'really?' and i said 'no. well im not sure'#body dysmorphia sucks so so much i hate how i can feel my body everytime i move i avoid mirrors#i hate him sometimes hes so oblivious. all of my brothers are so blinded by their own problems to even consider something so obvious#this is so dumb its just a videogame character and yet im thinking about cutting all of my limbs off#delete later#self harm tw#ed tw
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