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When your gf’s dad is a bitch ass hoe 🙄💅

Bonus loser:

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Elphie, you're trembling. Here, put this around you. ELPHABA & GLINDA Wicked, Part I

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calling in sick to work with realising i've been dead for years

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we had one left in us I guess, we haven't handed it all off to gen z quite yet

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Before hooking up with someone tell them “i’m… kinda weird down there. Like… you know in a lord of the rings type of way” and then refuse to elaborate

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yesterday i went to a party and i kissed this girl and she kept trying to give me her linkedin and i was like ...LINKEDIN? and she said yes linkedin. so i said i dont use linkedin. do you have instagram though. and she was like yes i do have instagram. you should add me on linkedin. and i said i dont use linkedin. and she said i will add you on linkedin. and i said girl give me your instagram you are NOT flirting with me through linkedin. and she was like. ok. fine. here's my instagram then. and gave me her instagram, which she clearly uses a lot, so it wasnt even that she only uses linkedin but rather that she just wanted to talk to me through linkedin specifically. fascinating woman if i wasnt already attracted to her her unwavering loyalty to linkedin wouldve drawn me in for sure

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I’d forgotten there was a koko the talking gorilla episode of x-files…it really was the nineties back in the nineties

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*fucking unspools you*

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They aren't wrong

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Feeling a little Wicked today 💚🩷

*Do not steal/copy/print or reupload to any other platforms without permission. Reblogs welcome!

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rot in hell stupid fish

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thirft shop

im gonna fuck your dad

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insanely important thrift store find