#this sounds like a did not happen post but

[mitskicain]

navi | m.list

౨ৎ⊹. ultraman, ultrafine, ultramine — ken sato x reader

© mitskicain all rights reserved. the modification, translation, and plagiarism of my work is strictly prohibited.

synopsis: you give ken some good news. he wonders what the future holds for the both of you.

content warnings: some cursing, but other than that just fluff & mutual pining !!

word count: 1.3k

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part two.

“No, c’mon, try again, here.” You motion for him to close his eyes and he obliges; bringing the spoon to his lips—his mouth opens, closes, then chews. You sit back down, waiting for his answer.

“Whitetail?” He guesses, face twisted into an expression of please-don’t-get-mad-at-me.

You frown, then laugh.

“Shrimp.” You say, shaking your head.

Ken furrows his eyebrows and groans, feigning annoyance. “They taste the same.”

“They don’t.” You retort, scrunching your nose at him. He chuckles and throws his hands up in surrender.

The two of you are sitting side-by-side in the back of a restaurant’s sushi bar, trying out the latest craze that’s hit the city: kaisendon. A glorious rice bowl piled high with fresh seafood—salmon, tuna, crab, shrimp, and roe. You’re practically drooling by the time the food gets to the table, eyes as wide as big dinner plates. Ken shakes his head at your reaction, chuckles, and reaches for the soy sauce. You grab his hand and give him an incredulous look.

“What?” He asks, confused and also a little terrified.

“You’re going to ruin it.” You say, voice insistent. You feel his hand twitch and you tighten your grasp. “Drop the soy.”

He does, and runs his hand over where you had grabbed him. He looks at you, asking you telepathically: uhh, what just happened?

“The whole flavor profile of kaisendon is insanely delicate.” You explain, splitting your wooden chopsticks. “The soy sauce would overpower and completely ruin the dish.”

“Oh,” he sounds, dumbfounded. “I didn’t know that.”

You huff and smile to yourself. Leaning forward on the bar, you prop your chin on your palm. “I expected my readers to be a little more knowledgeable than that.”

He laughs and rolls his eyes playfully. You do the same.

“Okay Anton Ego.” He teases, and you punch him in the shoulder. The both of you almost fall over laughing.

Regaining composure, you smile in his direction before finally digging into the dish in front of you. You sample all the different sashimi in your bowl, savoring the unique flavor of each one, before mixing it up and scooping a spoonful of it into your mouth. Pure bliss. Heaven. Orgasmic, even. It’s so good a small moan escapes your lips.

Ken bursts out laughing, again. And for a moment, you’re struck, again.

He wipes a tear from his face before huffing out, satisfied. You grin at his reaction. You loved seeing him like this—rambunctious and chaotic. It was a side barely anyone else got to see. In fact, seeing him at all was barely anything anyone got to see. Ken was still the same all-work-no-play all-star athlete that you tried digging up dirt on, the one that got you fired. Fast forward two months later, the two of you are tearing up each alley in search of all the foodie adventures the city has to offer. Whether it be soba noodles, tempura, or ramen—Ken is down for whatever. He listens to you rave about the different places you want to try, and your intricate explanations detailing the dishes that you eat.

“You can make two dollar sushi seem like a million bucks.” He told you once, and you took it as a compliment. You credit him with your career as a flood blogger, given he was the one who actually pushed you to do it. In fact, the night that he did, he hovered over you until you finalized your account and posted your first review, shaky hands and all. He cheered with you the first time you received a comment, and patted you on the back the first time you got a feature. Before you knew it, surely enough, your account was growing, and so did the recognition around your name. He grinned with pride when you had gotten your first 1000 followers.

“I got a call from ByFood earlier today.” You say, interrupting the silence.

You see Ken’s ears practically perk up as he turns to you, mouth full of rice and fish. You fight back the urge not to pinch his cheeks.

“They said they want me on the show.”

“Oh my god.” He says, mouth still full.

“Oh my god.” He says again, hand covering his mouth this time, chewing and swallowing as fast as he could.

You laugh as he wraps his arms around your shoulders, biceps heaving and lifting you up out of pure excitement. You squeal and kick your feet, causing the guests near your table to shoot judgemental glances in your direction. You knit your brows and press your palms together apologetically.

Putting you down, Ken is practically beaming down at you—pearly whites on full display and all.

“I knew you could do it.” He declares, “you’re going to be amazing. God, I can’t wait.”

You chuckle, turn your head, and wave him off. “You’re being too kind.”

“No, no, I’m serious.” He says, grabbing your shoulders and craning his head to see your face. “You’re going to be amazing. I know it.”

“Really?” You ask, looking up at him, face just inches away. You see your lips reflected in the whites of his eyes and for a minute, you think he’s going to do it. His face is twisted in such a strangled expression of desire, and he is so close, but he breaks the spell.

“You’ve got something.” He mumbles almost incoherently, removing a grain of rice that was on the side of your lip.

“Oh,” you sound, stunned that he had just quickly sat back down and ruined the moment.

You sit back down as well and wipe your hands on the fabric of your skirt, your gaze fixed downwards.

“I’m really happy for you.” Ken says after a while, breaking the awkward silence. He smiles slightly but it quickly disappears. He turns his head towards the now empty dish sitting in front of him, poking the small pieces of roe left behind with his chopsticks.

“I guess we won’t be able to see each other as often then, huh?” His voice disappointed. Your breath catches in your throat. You look up to see his pained expression.

“It doesn’t have to be that way Ken,” you plead, reaching for him. He looks at your hand on top of his and then at you, eyes filled with surprise and relief.

“I want to see you.” You mumble, voice barely above a whisper, “I want to see you a lot more, actually.”

His mouth is slightly open, breathing quick and shallow. He searches for a hint of ingenuity in your statement and finds none. Tilting his head, he asks: “yeah?”

“Yeah.” You reply, nodding your head.

You stare at his throat and see him swallow hard, Adam's apple bobbing. Gosh, his beautiful neck. You look back up to see his face and find he is already staring at you.

“I want you, y/n.” He confesses.

The air stills. You feel his hand twitch underneath yours but neither of you move away. Instead, you move closer.

“I want you too, Ken.” You murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You close your eyes and press your lips onto his. You can feel the way he melts into the kiss—the way his shoulders slump and relax forward, towards you. You wrap your arms around his neck for balance and you feel your right foot pop up, just like in the movies. When the two of you pull away, you grin widely.

“What?” He asks, chuckling.

“Nothing, I just..” your voice trails off as you feel the skin of your lips, missing the absence of his already. You look up, smiling. “I’ve just always wanted to know what that feels like.”

He laughs, head thrown back and hooting. God, you could listen to his laugh forever.

“So,” he says, still laughing, “what would you rate the experience?”

Now it’s your turn to laugh as you pull him close and press another kiss onto his lips.

“Five stars.” You smile. He smiles back.

Below your fourth rib, in your chest, again, something squeezes.

prev | next

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author’s note: holy shit I did not expect the first one to do so well HAHAHA here’s a second, impulsive addition to the story, lmk what you think in the comments! also bonus: screenshots of some of my conversations with friends about this story

[fishnapple]

CRYSTAL READING - channelled message : How to love yourself better? A request letter from yourself.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Buy me a drink or book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)

1. White

Dear myself,

If I could light a fire right now, I could, just to see if that fire can compete with my light, our light. And yet I got a feeling that fire will burn brighter than us, just because it had someone to start it. But ours didn't. We stowed our fire away, our light, for fear of burning the eyes of the world? Or for fear of being engulfed in the sea of darkness outside?

Have you ever seen a solar eclipse? People gathered to watch it, a brief moment of the sun being eaten. A brief moment. Imagine how the world would be if that brief moment turned into a very long moment, an eternal one? Panic, fear, despair. We have prolonged our solar eclipse for far too long, let the Sun has its shine. Does it sound arrogant when I talk of us as the Sun? No, you should get used to it. To be the light, the be seen. Even when the Sun seems like a solitary existence on the sky, it's not, so are we.

I wanted to tell you many beautiful words, give you praises and a pat on the head. Sounds embarrassing, right? We should learn to do that more often. And then practice it with other people too, we all need it sometimes, a lot of times.

Do you know what will happen when we turn the anger on ourselves? Somehow, it will ricochet inside us and finally shoot out at other people. It's painful, for us and for them. Let's hold it in our hands, watch it breathe and stroke it gently, find where does it hurt and tend to it, then poof- it's gone. You catch anger not by throwing it around and putting it in a cage but let it heal and fly away on its own.

I'm sure that sometimes you will find yourself drowning in life, in other people's water. Losing yourself could be your worst nightmare. But you will never lose me. It's odd how we're surrounded by people but feel like we are alone in our struggle. Where did all the people go? Are they also drowning like us? In a different sea? I hope that all the seas are connected to each other so we can all find others to swim with us.

Till the next sun rise, yourself.

2. Pink

Oh, how I want to just throw away everything and run barefoot on the sand. To lie face up, watching the clouds passing by for hours. To paint the wall bright pink and yellow (this combination might hurt your eyes if you stare too long, though). But we're not a kid anymore, or so people have told us, much like how we've told ourselves, convinced ourselves to behave.

It's fascinating to watch the process of our resistance to what is taught to us. Why do we resist it so much? It feels like being gravely offended. We have our principles, and now we have to listen to others telling us what is right? What is wrong? Let me tell you, in a small whisper, it's actually nice to listen. Just listening, not obeying. It will feel like swallowing a rock. Maybe we could learn from the chickens a little, metaphorically. They swallow small rocks to aid in healthy digestion. So let's swallow some of the hard lessons.

You always like to think in concrete fashion. You try to touch your thoughts with your own hands and knead them, mould them into whatever you want. And when you're dropped into a relationship with someone, you find yourself lost that ability. It's all a jumble mess. You find your hands reaching out, grasping for something. How about the other person? Are you afraid that you will lose yourself if you hold on to them? It's fine, you won't. It's just an outdated belief that you've held on for far too long.

As we were talking about swallowing, you may want to watch what you're swallowing into your stomach, literally. Watch what you eat! Don't make yourself, ourselves suffer by bringing unhealthy things into our body. We may want to live long, you know.

Hey, if you find a dance class is too embarrassing, how about we turn off the light and dance with each other in the middle of the night. Nobody will know, but we will feel good (I'm not trying to be a flirt with myself here)

Your best friend, love.

3. Red

Make me a cup of tea, please.

Let's have a chat, just us, lying around lazily, sipping our favourite tea, imagining some weird scenarios to entertain us, playing some puzzle.

I don't have much to tell you because we talk to each other every day and I know you always try to be better for us. I love you and I'm proud of you. Let's be vain and give ourselves applause every day. Make it a pinky promise.

A reminder when you're feeling sluggish and slow, we are going to exactly where we need to be. You are guided and protected.

Keep on shining and be the little kid that runs around in the rain.

I love it when you're running wild, letting yourself, me, free, splashing colours everywhere. I just want to grab other people's hands and drag them to the dance. I love it when you're laughing, loudly, even better when you jolted others around you, oh, their surprised look, priceless.

Just be sure to take care of your body. Don't over tasking them. Work hard, play hard, but rest hard also.

Have you been thinking about going on a trip somewhere? No? Then, allow me to make a gentle request. Let me put the idea in your head. Go on, go to wherever you're thinking, there might be a surprise waiting for us, *hint: it will make our heart flutter*.

Let's make it a ritual to go on a trip every year. Let's give our mind and spirit a makeover. Dust off any tangled mess we have and prepare a space for new things to come into. I'm so excited.

It's got me thinking lately, there's this small blinking light in the back of our mind, sometimes I can see it, sometimes I can't. I want to find out what it is. It's like a signal, trying to reach us, can you feel it? Sometimes, there's this odd feeling swelling inside that you can't put your hand on and naming it. I think if we can sit still, quiet, in the dark, we could see it better. It's guiding us. To where? I got a feeling that it's somewhere deep, somewhere with a treasure, waiting for us. If we can uncover it, it will be the greatest gift that the universe has ever given us. So let's go and find it.

Love, myself.

4. Green

I have some news for you. Brace yourself for changes. They're coming, very fast, very soon. Sit yourself tight. I don't want to give spoilers, but I guess we will receive some sudden confessions or offers. What you will do with those confessions is completely your choice. You don't have to feel guilty if you don't return their feelings, my dear.

I think the way the universe is sending us this kind of surprise is telling us to reconsider our 'single' thinking mode. We have stood alone, strong and independent for so long, I think it actually makes us a little too comfortable in being alone that the thought of getting into a connection with someone can be daunting. Will we lose our freedom? What if we are dependent on them? This time, the universe is saying: 'you and your worries will not make a good journey together, break up with those worries, here, I will throw in some opportunities for you to practice '.

If you don't want romantic connection at the moment, fine, different types of connections will come. No matter what, the universe is determined to get us involved with other people. It's for our own good. I have to admit that it's hard. It's not easy to change our way of thinking and believing. So surprises will be needed.

When opportunities come, the gate is opened, we just need to receive them. Walking through the gate will feel like walking out of a confinement into the wild, lively world outside. We will be propelled into a new path that we hadn't even considered in the past. Beware of what you said in the past about how you don't want to do something, you can't imagine yourself doing something. Well, guess what, we are going to do just that, joke on us.

So, in the meantime, even if you're resisting, it's fine. Just take care of yourself, of us. Obsessive worrying can sadden our body.

Something is going away, giving space to a new energy coming in. This new energy will be softer, more loving. The harshness of the past will go away soon. Trust me.

Love, Your companion.

[namikawa]

— [the perfect host]

featuring: s. geto, s. gojo

cw: smut, implied threesome, cunnulingus, implied m/m, phone sex (?), daddy kink (ofc), established relationship (reader & gojo), fingering, fem reader, chubby reader, getting “caught” masturbating, use of the word cunt (sorry lol), aftercare, not proofread fr, anything else i forgot lolz, pet names (mama, baby, pretty, sweetheart, love). wc: n/a.

notes: this is actually a fic my friend wrote (never published) & i re did it with two diff characters & finished it for her cause she never did… so if yall like it GO TO HER BLOG ILL TAG HER. this wasn’t my og idea i just wrote the smut and tweaked & added. but enjoy pls, sorry i haven’t posted in so long life has beat me up. @nvmjccnluv !!!

“so explain to me why i’m watching her again, she seems completely capable of staying in your apartment alone yknow.” suguru questions over the phone. it’s not that he hates you, but what if he was busy? he wasn’t, but gojo didn’t need to know that, he didn’t even ask to be fair. quickly dropping you off after handing the long haired man a small bag of your things.

on the other end of the phone gojo lets out a huff of laughter. “had a few things to finish up, she gets too lonely when i leave her at home so i didn’t want her getting into things. you know how it is.”

“i actually don’t, but okay man.”

“anyway, she doesn’t like many people but she didn’t seem to mind you the last time we hung out, you seemed like a safe option.” gojo continues, sounding a bit strained.

“okay, whatever, fine.”

“where’s she at anyways? if she was with you she would’ve jumped your bones to get to the phone.”

walking toward the the closed door in the hallway, geto chuckles before reassuring his friend. “relax dude, she’s in the room taking a na- holy shit.”

-

“what happened??”

the dark haired man places his ear on the door to make sure he’s not hallucinating, not saying that he’s hoping to be.

muffled moans greet his ears, but not muffled enough evidently. no, you wanted him to hear. he would have to pass by your room anyways, given that you two would be sharing a wall for the night. but him being on the phone with your boyfriend was just a coincidence, an extremely embarrassing one.

he listens to your soft whines and high pitched whimpers for what feels like days, though its hasn’t even been half a minute, paying no mind to the man yelling at him on the phone.

“SUGURU? ANSWER ME! IS SHE OKAY? I SWEAR IF SOMETHING HAPPE-” at this point geto tries to think as hard as possible to come up with a lie that won’t get him killed by his friend.

snapping out of his daze, he finally gets enough courage to respond, “yeah um i’m pretty sure, maybe i’m wrong, i think she’s uh masturbating.”

“oh, oh okay” suguru can basically hear a smirk he knows all to well forming on gojos mouth. “don’t be a rude host, go help her out man.”

what the fuck is he talking about help you out? he can’t be understanding that this is his girlfriend he’s talking about, right? on top of that, shouldn’t he be asking you for consent as well.

“are you insane man? i know you’re into all that weird shit, but her? she’d probably kill me before i even got close to the bed and throw my dead body out of my own apartment.” as nice as it sounds he didn’t know if you’d be okay with any of this. he wasn’t going to just walk straight in, right?

there’s a loud howl that comes directly from the other end of the phone. “are you really being this much of a pussy right now? i’m giving you full permission to go help my girl out, and you wanna whine about how she might kill y-”

“shut the hell up man, i didn’t say anything about being a pussy.”

“alright, then there shouldn’t be an issue with you helping her out. don’t sit up on your high horse and act like you haven’t thought about it before, i know just how those perverted thoughts of yours work, don’t you rememb-”

“okay okay shut up satoru, im going.”

pushing open the door, the first thing geto notices is your hand rubbing lightly between your soft thighs and how your wetness soaks the bed, clear evidence of how needy you were. how long have you been at it?

gojo can hear you so clearly over the phone, he might as well be in the room with you, “shit, is that her pussy i’m hearing? whats it look like?” he questions, but unfortunately for him he receives no answer.

suguru is too busy enjoying the view and listening to the pathetic little sounds coming from your cunt. his sweatpants are slowly starting to fit a little tighter than before, but he doesn’t make any movements yet, just in case you don’t wanna play this little game.

almost immediately your soft eyes flutter open and lock into his, and he swears he just came in his pants.

“sugi, please, it hurts so much,” you whine out to him, desperate for his veiny hands on you. your own hand never seems to falter though, only moving in more erratic circles around your sensitive clit; while your other hand is busy touching your nipples, trying to get the most stimulation possible.

knowing that you were just as needy for him as he was for you made the man’s confidence peak. he gives you a light smile as he walks closer to the bed, softly sitting down next to you. he leans over you a bit, close enough to where you can smell the minty, almost overpowering, scent of his shampoo. half his hair loosely tied up in a bun, the other half falling past his shoulders as he looks down at you.

“something wrong, pretty? those fingers not doing enough for you, right? don’t ‘cha wanna wait for your boyfriend to come back so he can help you out, he’s on the phone you know.”

his soft hands begin to work at your thighs, but it seems like it’ll never be any more than that. continuing for a little longer, he presses the speaker button on his phone, handing it over to you as you pull away from your core.

“can you hear me, sweetheart?” gojo asks, now finally getting some time to speak to you after being ignored for so long. “i gave sugi permission to help you out, okay? does that sound alright to you?” he utilizes the small nickname you’d given his friend, innocently coercing you to be good.

you give a small “mmm” in agreement. then, opening your legs, you grab at suguru’s hand and place it between your thighs, just barely touching your cunt.

gojo continues, smiling to himself on the other side of the device. “‘kay. i’m gonna talk you through it, just so i know you’re treating my girl right. take two of your fingers and stuff it inside of her, she’ll clench up at first but just keep working at it and she’ll open up, okay? maybe if you do good, you can have something too.”

geto lets out an annoyed breath, short, but just long enough for gojo to catch it. he knows what that means. what’s even stopping him from fucking you in first place? it’s not like gojo would know. but as he looks into your pleading eyes he realizes he’d do anything to make sure you’re content and happy.. even if that means listening to satoru’s perverted requests.

his fingers slide down to rub at your clit just a bit, before burying his pointer and ring finger deep into your cunt, you clench so tight around him, it makes him feel like he’s dreaming the way your teeth suck at your bottom lip attempting to hide your whines.

“cmon pretty, open up for me. promise i’ll make you feel good, okay?”

a throaty whimper slides from between your lips as geto’s fingers work you open. “‘s good sugi, please like that more.” you scoot down a little more, chasing his fingers to get even just a little more stimulation.

“next you’re gonna press on her clit, just a little though she’s a sensitive little thing.” gojo groans out, it’s obvious he’s taken a break from his work to focus on… other things.

“yeah yeah, i know how to use my fingers, asshole.” suguru voices, clearly annoyed. although, he still abides by the instructions and moves his thumb to press on your clit just a tiny bit. your back arches away from his fingers almost immediately, like a natural instinct, he grabs your plush hips with his other hand, pulling you back down. “nuh uh, c’mere sweet girl, you wanted my help you’re gonna get it.”

his delicate fingers curve upward into you and you feel as if you’re floating on cloud nine, the way he flicks them at just the right speed while managing to hold you down and deepen his movements. it’s all too much for him you.

the sound of gojo’s voice breaks geto out of his daze, “fuck, i gotta go suguru. i know you’ll take care of her. i’m gonna have to cut this shit short, i’ll try to come back later tonight instead of tomorrow morning. love you guys, love you baby, be good for sugi okay?” geto’s eyes immediately flicker to yours, and you see just a little bit of what you think could be fear, or excitement, in his eyes.

“bye daddy, love you too.” you whine out, hearing a quick click before the call ends.

“daddy?” he questions. “knew he was into some shit, didn’t know you were too, sweet girl. you’re too pretty and innocent, or at least you put up a good act.” his fingers slide out of you as he snickers, not ignoring the way you pout at the loss of stimuli.

“nah, not gonna leave you here all needy don’t worry mama, just gonna do it my way, that sound good to you?” geto grabs you by your hips as you choke out a small “yea”, pushing you closer to the headboard of the bed. he fully removes his hair tie and throws all of it up into a bun, swiftly grabbing your underwear and pulling it off.

you look down at him as he crawls closer to you on his stomach, wrapping his arms around your thighs and closing them around his head. you feel his fingers spread your cunt apart, licking a long stripe onto you. your body tenses up, and on instinct your hand finds its way into suguru’s hair, tugging lightly. his head perks up at you, smiling, but eventually just deciding to leave you be.

his tongue swipes over your clit, taking small breaths occasionally as he tastes your cunt. neither one of you know who this is really for at this point. he’s supposed to be ‘helping you’ but with the tent growing in his sweats he might as well be doing this for his own pleasure instead. you continue to take harsh pulls at his dark strands, so unfamiliar to you. mostly with satoru you opted for scratching at his shoulders or gripping at the sheets due to the length he kept his hair, but this, this was something you could get used to.

“sugi please, m so close, want it so bad, need you to make me cum.” you cry out, loving the way his nose rubs against your clit as he licks.

he doesn’t say anything, he can’t really, but you know he understands. he grips your thighs tighter, licking the same way as before, occasionally sucking at your clit, and before you know it you’re squirming all over his face as that familiar feeling rushes over you.

the only thing that suguru could make out of your cries were “thank you”, “so good”, and “daddy”? he wasn’t sure if you were calling him daddy or if you wanted gojo, but at this point it didn’t really matter to him. he pleased you and that’s all he needed to make him feel better.

as he lifted his head up from your pussy he could already tell how tired you were getting, he immediately grabbed you a change of clothes that gojo had packed and cleaned you up with a wet washcloth. “everything okay, mama? need anything?” your eyes strain open and you smile at the man standing above you, “i’m okay, thank you for your help. will you stay?” you could tell that he genuinely cared for you, and was worried he had done something wrong by the tone in his voice. him staying was more for him rather than yourself, not that you were complaining.

he pulled off his shirt as he crawled into bed next to you. grabbing his phone from the bedside table he saw that gojo had sent him a message.

“i’ll take care of you both when i’m back, cause i’m betting you didn’t take anything for yourself. see you both soon ;)”

suguru chuckled to himself at the message from his friend, looking down at you peacefully sleeping on his chest. maybe he could get used to something like this? but for now, he’s content.

[pastanest]

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

A/N: me posting twice in the same month?? someone do a welfare check

warning: age gap mentioned (bc I’m a slut) but not extensively or in a weird way bc Spencer’s not a pervert lol

Moth To A Flame

Closing the bathroom door with your own back, you slide down it until you’re sitting on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest and taking a shaky breath. You shouldn’t call him while crying, you know better than that, but you know your own tells enough to hope you can mask them; a futile effort considering who you intend to call at 3am.

Lifting your phone to your ear, you hear it ring no more than twice before your prayers are answered, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

“Hey, Spencer.” You greet him quietly, smiling from just saying his name.

“Hi, sunshine. How are you?” Spencer’s voice is calm and collected, but it’s clear through the phone he’s delighted to hear from you.

There’s no question raised regarding the time at which you’re calling. But no matter how many times this happens, Spencer always enquires after your wellbeing.

“I’m okay, thank you. Just…you know. How are you?” The question is returned, though neither of you are a fan of small talk.

“Yes,” Spencer responds specifically to the insinuation he knows, because he does. Then, he continues, “-I’m well, too, thank you.”

His words, and what goes left unsaid, makes your smile grow.

“What’re you reading?” You ask, and the quiet chuckle you hear from Spencer is enough to prove you right in your assumption of his reason for being awake at this hour.

“Pride And Prejudice. How did you know I was reading?” He wonders aloud with a fondness in his voice that he reserves only for you.

“When aren’t you reading?” You roll your eyes playfully, and Spencer can practically hear it.

“When I’m sleeping.” He quips, his own smile evident in his voice.

It’s enough to have you laughing softly into the phone, which only serves to make Spencer’s smile grow.

“Read me some?” You request quietly.

Like you ever need to ask.

Spencer clears his throat into the phone.

“After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began, ‘In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’ Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness…” Spencer reads aloud, and the smile on your face is almost as soft as his voice sounds through the phone.

By the end of the chapter, your eyes have drifted closed and your head is tipped back against the bathroom door behind you. Hearing how calm your breathing has become, Spencer pauses, and you hear him close the book.

“See you in the morning?” He always asks because on the rare chance you’ll say no, at least he has time to mentally prepare for your absence. Tonight is not the night for that.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow…Thank you.” You reply, already feeling close to sleep.

This stumps Spencer momentarily, and he falters before he replies, “For what?”

And there’s only one thing you can say to that.

“Being you.”

Spencer chuckles sheepishly, “I don’t know how to be anyone else.”

Of course he doesn’t. Perhaps, if he was anyone else, you’d stand a chance.

“Goodnight, Spencer.” You tell him gently.

“Goodnight, sunshine.” There’s a second of warm silence as you savor the sound of each other’s quiet breathing, and then you both hang up the call.

Standing up from where you’d been sitting on the bathroom floor, you take another deep breath before reaching for the door handle. Walking through a house that isn’t yours, into a living room where the sound of snoring from the couch makes you want to tear your hair out, past a kitchen where a cheap measly pile of four red roses lie limp on the counter with a post-it note in place of any kind of meaningful card, up the staircase where framed photographs filled with eyes that aren’t on your side stare down at you judgmentally, until you’re safely confined in the bedroom you feel doomed to. Crawling into your side of the bed, you adjust the pillows that occupy the other side, filling the space in a shape long enough to resemble the shape of someone under your bedcovers. And with Spencer’s voice still in your ears wishing you a good night, you close your eyes and drift off to sleep.

Meanwhile, Spencer adjusts his alarm clock to wake him an hour earlier than necessary, and awakens from a peaceful slumber with a determined mission in mind. Once his normal morning routine is complete, instead of driving to the office, he drives to his preferred florist, who greets him with a knowing smile when Spencer walks in.

“Another dozen?” The florist guesses.

“Please.” Spencer nods, smiling politely.

Retrieving his wallet from his back pocket, Spencer pays for the flowers and graciously thanks the florist, taking the flowers and then leaving the establishment to return to his car. He drives back home, placing the dozen flowers in a glass vase that he keeps pristine for this very purpose, with the perfect level of water for optimal growth for this specific species of flower. Very carefully, Spencer inspects them until he determines which has the prettiest bloom today, and that is the one he elects to remove from the vase, carefully securing its stem in seran wrap and placing it in the pocket of his suit jacket, then continuing on his normal journey into work.

Purposely, Spencer arrives earlier than the rest of the team, so that he can execute his plan without interruptions. From the staff kitchen, he chooses the most elegant looking glass he can find and again pours the perfect level of water - this time for just one flower, specifically - unwrapping the single bloom in his suit jacket and setting in the glass. He then walks to your desk and positions it in an aesthetically pleasing location, but already knows it is not enough. The picture is not complete. It must be perfect for you. Briefly visiting his own desk, Spencer opens the drawer to take a piece of his own parchment paper, from which he cuts a small section that he then folds in half. On what appears to be the front of the folded piece, he maps out a constellation in a dot-to-dot sketch, then inside the fold of paper, he writes the story behind it. After several attempts, Spencer finds the perfect angle at which to place the folded piece of paper next to the flower on the desk, and only then does he return to his usual morning routine of making himself a coffee in the staff kitchen. Counting down the minutes.

By the time you get to the office, you’ve pushed the thoughts of your home from your mind and have a bright smile on your face, looking forward to a day spent working with your friends and not thinking about-

“(Y/N)! I just saw! He got you roses! That’s SO cute! You have, like, the best boyfriend!” Penelope squeals as she runs up to you the very second you walk through the glass doors of the bullpen.

Your heart sinks and your eyebrows furrow.

“You saw?”

Penelope nods excitedly, gesturing to her phone, where she shows you the post your boyfriend had made on social media: a picture he had taken of the four red roses he’d bought you that he filtered to high heaven to make them look more grand than they were, with a caption that said ‘happy four and many more, babe x’. If it weren’t for the sake of keeping your business private - something he clearly cares for about as much as he does you - you’d scoff.

“Oh, yeah. Must’ve missed that he posted that.” You plaster a smile on your face that doesn’t reach your eyes, walking side by side with Penelope towards your desk.

“It was your four year anniversary, right? Did you do anything fancy?” She’s giddy on your behalf.

“No, just had a quiet night in.” You provide an excuse, the most generous blanket statement you could have given to the shambles that were your boyfriend’s anniversary plans.

Your dejectedness, however, is abruptly cut short when your gaze lands on your desk. A single bloom of your favorite flower, with a neatly folded handwritten note of a constellation placed next to it. In a microsecond, you’re turning to where Spencer sits at his desk, hiding his smirk behind his cup of coffee.

“You didn’t!” You feign chastisement, but your giddiness is obvious.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spencer shrugs, his smile as obvious as yours is.

You’re practically bouncing on the spot when you bring the little glass and the delicate flower within to your face to breathe in the sweet scent.

“These aren’t even in season anymore, Spencer, how did you-“

The question is cut short by a magician who never reveals his secrets.

“I played no part in this, but perhaps someone happens to know somebody else who is equipped to grow them on request.” There’s a teasing lilt to his otherwise matter-of-fact tone, and you are shaking your head in absolute disbelief.

Setting the glass back down on your desk, you pick up the constellation, admiring it carefully before folding it and placing it in your desk drawer, in amongst another 30-something hand drawn constellations. The smile is still lingering on your face when you sit down at your desk, and from where Spencer sits at his, his chest feels warm. So much joy from you at the cost of only an hour’s less sleep and a few more dollars than the asking price of your favorite flowers. Perhaps, tonight you won’t call him trying to hide that you’d been crying again, he hopes. Whether that comes to fruition or not, he has another eleven blooms waiting in his apartment to gift you at random intervals to surprise you and keep your tears at bay for as long as he can, without you ever telling him there was a chance of them falling. He knows.

For the rest of the day, Spencer catches you glancing at the flower on your desk while you work through various reports and paperwork, an almost shy smile lighting up your face every time you see it there.

It’s only when the team begins packing up for the day that Spencer thinks to look into what Penelope had referenced that morning- a post of some kind? Easily enough, Spencer finds your boyfriend’s social media on his computer, and what he discovers makes him borderline violent. Four years together, encompassed by four measly roses and what you called a ‘quiet night in’ that was so beyond underwhelming you ended your evening by calling Spencer from your bathroom. A celebration of that scale warranted only four red roses, while the mere hint you’d been crying was enough for Spencer to visit the florist he pays specifically to keep growing your favorite flowers for you, to buy another dozen that he intends to deliver to you one by one at irregular intervals. Still, it isn’t Spencer’s job to compensate for what is clearly absent from your relationship; at least, not consciously.

“Babe!” A voice calls out that has Spencer using every ounce of strength he possesses to withhold from rolling his eyes. Shutting down his computer, he stands from his desk just in time to see your expression fall where you pack away your things at your own desk.

Turning to face your boyfriend, you give him a tight-lipped smile.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” You ask shortly.

Excellent question, Spencer thinks.

“Just came to surprise you and drive you home!” Your boyfriend exclaims like it’s some kind of achievement, opening his arms in a big gesture as he approaches your desk.

How considerate, ambushing you at your workplace under the guise of it being a nice surprise, Spencer scoffs internally, deliberately slowing the pace at which he readies his satchel to leave the office.

“Oh. Thanks.” You don’t know what else to say. “I’ll be ready in a second.” You add, feeling like you’re defaulting to basic lines of dialogue to avoid awkward silences.

“Great!” Your boyfriend exclaims, looking around the bullpen like he’s never seen the place before - he has, twice, and Spencer wishes his eidetic memory would allow him to erase the memory of your discomfort during both instances - until his eyes land on a face he recognises, and he grins.

“Spencer! My man!” Your boyfriend yells, and your eyes widen as you watch him walk right over to Spencer and pull him into a bro-hug that immediately has Spencer rigidly uncomfortable.

“I’ve told you-“ You implore, shooting Spencer an apologetic and pleading look before your boyfriend starts talking over you.

“Oh yeah! Sorry, man, forgot you’re weird about touching people.” He laughs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender.

You scowl, parting your lips to bite his head off, but Spencer steps in to prevent you from saying something that’ll only cause more arguments for you when you go home.

“I have an acute awareness and disliking towards unfamiliar germs and contact.” Spencer corrects your boyfriend firmly, aware that only you and him realize what he means by a germ in this context.

“Yeah, man, no worries.” Your boyfriend laughs, like he’s the funniest man in the world to himself. “Ready to go, babe?” He asks you.

“Mhmm.” Another tight-lipped smile, and that’s apparently convincing enough for your boyfriend, who wraps an arm around your waist in a careless action rather than something that should be treasured, and would be treasured by the man you look over your shoulder to give one last apologetic expression to.

That is, until Emily steps out of her office and calls over to you, “Don’t forget about Rossi’s party!”

And you literally wince.

“A party?! Oh man! Can’t wait! Thanks, Emmers!” Your boyfriend answers for you, regarding a party you had deliberately neglected to mention to him, and then he’s all but dragging you out of the office.

Once out of earshot, Spencer actually does scoff.

“Emmers?” Emily asks him with a frown from where she stands on the raised walkway, leaning on the railing.

“A shocking breach of social etiquette to assume a nickname for someone he barely knows.” Spencer clarifies, to which Emily nods.

“You still not coming to Rossi’s tonight?” She elects to ask him, a smile curling at the corner of her mouth.

Spencer sighs heavily. He looks down at his desk, then lifts his head to look over at the elevator doors closing, snatching the view of you away. He knows what will happen tonight. He knows.

The mirror stares back at him. If someone told Spencer a year ago that he’d be attending a work related get together he’d initially rejected the invitation of but went back on himself solely in the hopes that his suit of choice would impress a coworker just over half his age who has a boyfriend, Spencer would have walked right out of prison and request a psych eval. Still, the thought at the forefront of his mind is that 6 months and 8 days ago he had worn an all-black suit on a case that you had complimented. It is a foolish dream to think you would compliment him for it again, but for you, Doctor Spencer Reid is a proud fool.

Much to your own embarrassment, you and your boyfriend knock at Rossi’s door an hour late, and based on your expression it is not difficult for Spencer to deduce it’s not your fault. Or, it wouldn’t have been difficult if his brain hadn’t short-circuited at the sight of you wearing a thin strapped, floor length purple silk dress that hugged your every curve to the extent that when Spencer rose from his seat in a gentlemanly gesture at your entrance, his knees very nearly buckled beneath him to a position of worship. Your boyfriend’s arm is careless around your waist again, and he drops it not to pull your chair out for you at the table, but to bro-hug David Rossi, who looks at him like he spat in his bowl of pasta. In your disgruntled state, it takes you a second to acknowledge that Spencer is standing, and in between greeting the rest of the team, your eyes continually flit back to him, his heart skipping a beat each and every time in a way that only further convinces him he is in the midst of a medical emergency. Finally, your gaze lingers on him, and he doesn’t waste the opportunity.

“Can I get you a drink? Rossi’s minibar has some of your favorites.” Spencer gestures with the hand not holding his own drink, and without so much as looking to your plus one, you nod and walk around the table.

His large hand ghosts the small of your back, fingers flexing, but he doesn’t allow himself to make contact until he counts the microseconds to cross the distance that takes you both away from every other pair of eyes in this house. The heat of Spencer’s fingertips meet the purple silk of your dress, barely there, but oh, do you feel it.

Once safely standing at the minibar, Spencer only needs to watch your face to see which bottle your eyes light up at, and as soon as he notices, he pours you a glass without you having to ask. In a gesture that feels like a secret, the two of you clink your glasses together and lock eyes to take a simultaneous sip.

“Nice suit.” You nod at Spencer, a shy smile forming behind your glass.

“Thank you.” He tries not to choke on his drink, then nods back at you. “Pretty dress.”

You have to bite your lip to prevent your smile from growing any bigger.

“Thank you. The color reminded me of your scarf.” You remark quietly, and if you weren’t a profiler, you probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of Spencer’s eyes at your words.

“It is a similar shade.” He agrees, his heart in his throat.

Comfortable silence settles between you. Eyes locked, nursing your drinks, your free hands hanging idly at your sides. Standing just a little too close. Fingers almost touching.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” You say eventually.

Spencer shakes his head dismissively. “I appreciate it, but his oversights aren’t your responsibility.” Or your burden, he so badly wants to add.

You sigh. “If he overstepped the boundaries of a guy who was less of a man than you, he could’ve got his face caved in.”

And what a shame that would have been, Spencer muses in his own mind.

“I didn’t escalate the situation, but not because I’m a man- because it wasn’t a worthy cause.” He amends.

“So if there was a worthy cause, you’d have clocked him?” You giggle at the idea.

“Possibly.” Definitely, Spencer smirks.

“What constitutes a worthy cause in the mind of Doctor Spencer Reid?” You tease, tilting your head to look up at him with a curious twinkle in your eyes.

“If he made you cry.” Spencer chooses his words very carefully, and inspects every micro expression on your face in response.

Because your boyfriend has made you cry, you know that, and you know Spencer knows too, despite the fact you haven’t ever stated as such. He knows. All you’d have to do is say the word, and Spencer would walk right back into the dining room, grab your boyfriend by his collar in front of the entire team, drag him outside and beat him to a pulp in the street.

If Spencer wasn’t a profiler, he probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of your eyes at his words.

“Babe! There you are! Rossi’s served us up a couple plates of something with a name I can’t pronounce- Spencer! Hey, man!” Your boyfriend’s agitating, grating voice cuts into the peaceful bubble you and Spencer had been existing in.

Sharing an equally irritated glance, you both turn to face him.

“Linguine alla Puttanesca.” Spencer drawls.

“Yeah, something like that, for sure!” Your boyfriend laughs, loudly, and without you saying a word, his arm is thrown around your waist again, stealing you from Spencer - who trails behind with a scowl fixed on your boyfriend’s arm - and returning to the dining room.

At the table, you sit opposite Spencer, with your boyfriend sitting on your left. You’re grateful for the casual conversation in the room taking his attention away from you for the most part, allowing you the peace of eating without him saying something that makes you want to vomit.

“Been thinking of getting some sleeping pills myself, not been sleeping too good on the couch!”

Nevermind.

Your eyes close in a pained blink, and you lift your napkin with an unnecessarily firm grip to wipe at your mouth.

“Oh. You’ve not got…comfy cushions?” Penelope tries to save the conversation, but the awkward silence has already descended upon the table at your boyfriend’s blatant overshading at your expense.

“Nope, barely been sleeping a wink! I miss my own bed, I’ll tell you that!” Your boyfriend laughs.

Setting your napkin down, you keep your gaze fixed on your half empty plate. You can feel eyes on you. Everywhere.

“A dinner party with your partner’s friends is not the social setting for discussing your relationship.” Spencer quips, releasing enough tension in your chest to allow you a breath.

“Don’t worry, bro, she doesn’t mind!” Your boyfriend nudges you with his arm, and you are rigid.

“Nobody at this table requires a profiling skillset to determine that (Y/N) does mind.” Spencer’s protective nature is bristling.

“Oh yeah, bet you profilers can just look and tell exactly what her problem is, huh?!” Your boyfriend laughs. “Go on, guess!” He demands of the table, like he’s prepping a joke with the greatest punchline in human history.

The table is silent. You close your eyes in a pained blink, begging any god that may exist, please, please-

“She won’t sleep with me!” Your boyfriend roars with laughter, and time slows to an agonizing halt.

The only accompanying sounds are cutlery clattering against plates, then two chairs scraping against the floor.

“That’s enough. Get out.” Rossi points at the door.

“With pleasure.” Spencer’s tone is cool as ice. In a fraction of a second, he rounds the table, grabs your boyfriend by his collar and drags him out of Rossi’s dining room, to the front door.

While the rest of the team crowd around you to check you’re okay, you’re shaking your hand and scrambling to stand, running outside. Spencer’s fists grip your boyfriend’s collar, pinning him to the side of his car.

“-and if I ever find you within a five mile radius of her, I’ll ruin your life without breaking a single law.” He seethes.

“She’s barely even my girlfriend, man, she doesn’t even put out! You can have her!” Your ex boyfriend holds his hands up in surrender while signing his own death warrant.

Spencer’s right hook sends him hurtling against the sidewalk, and Spencer is on him in the blink of an eye. Trapping him under his legs, Spencer delivers punch after punch, hearing bones crack with the force but only seeing red, until Rossi and Luke physically pull him off, and even then he tries to fight past them to carry on.

“Kid, kid, take a breath- you got him!” Rossi gently pats Spencer’s back, and with wide eyes like a deer in headlights, you appear in front of him.

“Spencer.” You breathe his name with an unnamed emotion, reaching up to cup his face in your hands, and his glazed over eyes that hadn’t been able to look anywhere but the bloody mess on sidewalk, find you in an instant.

Emily is already calling in some favors with the local police department to get this resolved with minimal assault charges, if possible.

“C’mon, inside.” You tell Spencer gently, taking one of his trembling, bloody hands in yours and guiding him back into Rossi’s house.

Taking him past the dining room, you find the kitchen and lead Spencer to lean against the empty counter beside the sink. Very carefully, you hold both of his hands under the cold water to wash them free of blood. It doesn’t take you long to realize the blood doesn’t just come from your ex-boyfriend. He’s running on adrenaline, breathing heavily, half watching you and half watching the doorway, as if expecting someone else to walk in that he has to take out to protect you.

Once his hands are as clean as you can get them, you retrieve some ice packs from Rossi’s freezer and hold them to Spencer’s swollen, bloody knuckles. You can’t look away from them.

“Are you in any pain yet?” You ask in a small voice.

“None.” Spencer answers sharply, gaze fixed on the doorway now because he can keep you in his peripheral vision, mind locked in fight or flight mode with an obvious winner.

“This is all my fault, Spencer, I’m so sorry- if I’d have broken up with him…” Your forehead drops to Spencer’s chest, pressing against the fabric of his black tie.

Those words catch him so off guard that he falters, and then frowns.

“None of this is in any way your fault.” Spencer states bluntly.

“If I’d broken up with him already, he wouldn’t have been here, wouldn’t have said those things in front of y- Spencer!” You cut yourself off when your reminder of what your ex had said has Spencer trying to move past you to go back outside and start right where he left off, having no choice but to grab his arm in an effort to stop him.

Realistically, you are not strong enough to hold Spencer in place. If he wanted to, he could push past you easily, but your hand on him could disarm a nuclear bomb if he was its power source.

“Don’t. Please. Stay.” You plead.

Like you ever have to ask.

Spencer settles back against the counter, one of his cold, bloody hands lifting to cup the back of your head, tilting your forehead back to his chest hold you there.

“By the same token, I could have prevented this, had I said what’s been unsaid.” Spencer murmurs into your hair.

“That’s way less fair than the point I made.” You remark, which has him smirking against the top of your head.

“Don’t get smart with me when I’m running on adrenaline.” Spencer warns playfully.

“Don’t get flirty when you just beat a guy to a pulp for disrespecting me.” You counter, causing him to scoff quietly.

“That reminds me, I must amend a previous statement.” Spencer says, and you can’t resist tilting your head back to look up at him, his hands immediately shaking free of their icepacks to cup your cheeks.

“Mhmm?” You press.

“I said all it would take for me to clock him would be him making you cry, this has proven to be incorrect. Based on my actions tonight, I can safely say if he made you cry, I would kill him.” Spencer speaks with a tone so soft you’d think he was complimenting you, his thumbs caressing your cheeks so tenderly while he threatens your ex’s very life.

“Wow. Big words for a man who hasn’t even taken me out on a first date.” You smirk.

“Moving a little fast, aren’t we, sunshine?” Spencer quips teasingly, his own smirk forming.

“A year of tiptoeing around each other while I was in a relationship is only moving a little fast by the standards of the romance novels you read, Doc.” You joke.

“Touché.” Spencer laughs fondly down at you. “Does this mean I can finally attempt to court you, fair lady?”

Butterflies that he singlehandedly commands, fly free in your stomach.

“I’d say so.” You answer softly, and Spencer breathes the deepest sigh of relief.

He leans down to rest his forehead against yours, ever so gently bumping his nose to yours in the most tender gesture of affection.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer whispers, his breath fanning your lips.

“Anything.” You murmur.

Spencer smiles at the breathlessness he can already hear in your voice, solely caused by his proximity. Time slows to the most beautiful halt as he leans in, leaving the softest kiss at the corner of your mouth, barely even touching your lips.

“It was me who left a flower on your desk.”

[ghostieblr]

the perfect star that hid

written for @sterekbingo square "soulmate au." kind of a new take on soulmate au? at least i haven't seen this particular type (if you have, please link them to me!! <3) also, my card is under the cut! at the very end. the full fic is here, but you can also read it on ao3 (where i'll post it when i get back home) if that's more your style.

The name unfurls on his wrist at the mall, filled with people, a scratch to his bone that goes unnoticed; he always wears full sleeves, a habit borne of shame and fury, fury at himself and his life and at the one who is writing it. He's 27 — older than the average population of those without someone by their side, someone who are made with dust and ashes that together make the perfect star.

He's celebrating his 27th birthday, actually, in this very mall. Friends that appreciate his appreciation for Star Wars, that don't mind him or pity him, who actually care about him — they booked an entire cinema hall for him, pulled certain strings to make it happen, and none of them had to pleaded or begged for it. They just love him.

He doesn't have his soulmate, yet, perhaps never will, but there is this truth as well: he has friends that love him like family, like their own. It might just have to be enough.

That's what he's thinking, the epiphany dredging up his past agony and mulling it over, layering it over with itself, a sort of aftercare that he's giving a try. And he's tired, too, of the heartache and the negativity — his own most of all. And he is tired of the day, muscles aching, and hey. It's a good time for a relaxing shower, now that he's home.

So he smiles at no one in the apartment but at himself in the mirror he's hung in the living room, a sort of statement piece that Lydia insisted on after taking one look at his at the time barely furnished abode, and shrugs.

"You don't need anyone, Stiles."

The words don't sound quite right as he hears them, the meaning of it turned desolate instead of triumphant as his thoughts become intangibly tangible, an epiphany to something he might just have to get used to. Still, he's said it, it's out there, and it's gonna have to do.

He picks the clothes off of himself, hopes the shower will help him pick himself up. Decides a bath would be better — but he's not got that now, has he? Perhaps he should start saving for a house, now. But it's just so much harder with one income only; he could move back to Beacon Hills? San Francisco isn't bad, but the prices of real estate are no joke.

The pros and cons of that potential scenario run through his head, his legs out of the jeans now, his hoodie off of his body next. Huh, he's almost out of toothpaste; he should go to the grocery store tomorrow. He should also see what's in his fridge and what's not but — later.

He's getting ahead of himself.

The t-shirt he's wearing comes off, too, a full-sleeved one, white, that looks rather good on him. Accentuates the lean muscle thing he's got going on from his years at the Track Team in high school and college. There's this scar he has on his left palm from falling once in the middle of a tournament. He turns his hand—

It's not bare, anymore. His wrist — it has a name.

His soulmate's name.

He stares. And stares and stares because what the hell. This has to be a joke, right?

It just has to be.

He has been within 100 metres of this person before multiple times. Has been to his childhood home, to the fucking police station he works at because hello — Derek Hale is one of Sheriff's Deputies, and Stiles is the Sheriff's son.

They've been within 100 metres of each other before.

But this has never happened.

But...

He rushes to his bedroom, naked, panicked, ecstatic. Picks up the phone from where he'd chucked it on the bed, opens the contact of a person he hasn't contacted since the last project they did together in high school.

Cora Hale picks up on fifth ring, when he's about to hang up and try again.

"Stilinski?" She sounds confused. "It's been a while. What's up?" A muffled voice, a male. Cora says, "Are you fucking kidding me? It can't be him — you've known each other for — it's impossible —" She's clearly not speaking to Stiles.

"Is Derek there?"

Cora stops talking.

"Cora, is he — did he get it too?"

Sounds of footsteps, labored breathing. Phone changes hands and then: "Are you Mieczysław Stilinski?"

Stiles stops breathing. It's real.

Derek is asking him the name nobody but his father and the people at the DMV know.

"I don't know any other Stilinski’s. Just your father and you," Derek is saying. He sounds confused, happy, breathless. "And I know your name starts with an M. I saw some papers on the Sheriff's desk once, by mistake but — how is it you?" A pause. "Not — I didn't — I mean like —"

"How is it me when we have been around each other for so long. I have been at your house, you've been working at the BHPD for... fuck, 3 years now?"

"Since I came back from NY, yeah."

"I don't know, Derek, I don't but I... you were at the mall today, right?" He just wants to be sure.

"Yes. Yeah. I was, I was buying a gift for my parent's anniversary."

"And today's my birthday, I was —"

"With your friends watching Star Wars. I know. I saw you and the Sheriff let the whole station know about it yesterday."

Stiles can't fucking believe this. And also... "I'm so fucking cold. I really should wear some clothes."

"What?"

"Long story short — Shower, saw the name, called the one Hale's number I had."

Derek's chuckle is sexy and seriously, how has he never heard it before? It's a crime. And Stiles should be in jail. At least then he would have met his soulmate earlier... but wait, that's a paradox. Isn't it?

"I thought you were short story long kind of person," Derek says, and follows up with, "And if you're free right now... I know it's late but, would you forsake your shower and meet me to figure out why he haven't met before?"

Stiles cuts the call.

Then calls Cora's cell again. Derek picks it up with an exhale that seems very anxious, so Stiles closes his eyes at his stupidity and admits, "That was a yes. My brain just jumped ahead a few steps. Please text me your number so we can let Cora have her phone back," Cora cheers in the background, "And I can end the call so that I can wear my clothes and you can text me whatever address and we can finally meet and I'm sorry for ending the call so abruptly and seriously why haven't we met before? It's so —"

Derek chuckles again, and really, it's such a nice sound. "Stiles, breathe. I don't want you to die just yet."

"I can absolutely do that, yep."

Silence.

"Stiles? Wear your clothes. I promise I'll help you out of them when —"

There's a sudden struggle at the other end, and then it's Cora's voice coming down the line, "Ew! No! Do it on your own phone. Stiles, I'm texing you my brother's number, so go! Now!"

She ends the call.

Stiles lets his own phone fall onto the bed, processes what happened for just a minute, and then smiles goofily when Cora makes good on her statement.

Somehow, even though they haven't interacted in all these years despite all the things connecting them to the same peg on the board, Derek texts Stiles: "Stop dawdling and come meet me at the diner on 5th. Remember to wear your clothes. For now."

It's all one block of text too, the dork.

Guess that's his dork now.

Greatest. Birthday. Ever.

[talaok]

Training

Pairing: Peter Parker x f!reader

Summary: Peter has never been able to last enough to take care of you, but as it turns out... practice does make perfect.

Warnings: talk about premature ejaculation, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, sub!peter and lots of pet names for spidey.

he was always so desperate around you. He was always shy about it, but every time you gave him permission his hands never left your body.

He was so fucking in love with you it was actually a little bit scary.

Nobody had ever made him feel the way you did, and not just sex-wise (although goddamn wasn't that the best thing ever), no, but feelings-wise- like he could breathe more easily around you, like he felt light and soft and the word was perfect whenever you were near.

And everything really was perfect... except one little thing.

he couldn't last.

You weren't making it a big deal, being that you were also teaching him every other way he could make you come, but still, he wanted to do it... he so desperately wanted to feel your walls squeeze him as you came that he was willing to do anything... but it was just so hard.

Andit never got easier...

"c'mon baby" you purred, taking his face in your hands "You can do it, think of something else," you said, out of breath as you bounced on his cock "Anything else baby, I'm almost there"

His eyes were shut close.

He'd found that he didn't even stand a chance at lasting more than 2 minutes if he was watching you.

And he tried, he really tried to get his mind to make something up, to will it to find something else to focus on, but-

"you feel so good y/n- I-I can't"

"yes you can" you shut him up with a messy kiss "You wanna be my good boy, baby?" you ask, eliciting a whimper from his throat

"y-yes" he choked out, not sure how he still hadn't burst

"Yeah?" you breathed "Then you're gonna have to be good and wait a little more" you moaned, his dick hitting a particularly good spot "Can you do that for me, baby? can you wait a little more?"

"mh-mh" he hummed, sounding on the verge of tears

"good boy" you moaned, your nails scratching his chest, as he stretched you so incredibly well "fuck-you feel so good" you cried, your voice drowning out the sound of your skin slapping with his "s-so big baby" you moaned again "s-so f-fucking-"

And then, just like that, it happened- the most extraordinary thing he'd ever felt.

You came, you came on his cock- you came because of him (although, let's be honest, you did all the work), and it felt-

he didn't even have words for it, he only groaned louder than he had ever done, and finally (and inevitably) reached his own release as your walls squeezed his dick and your moans filled the air.

He was grinning like an idiot the moment you opened your eyes back up, and you couldn't help but laugh "You liked it?"

"yes" he nodded, still smiling wide "yes very much"

"mhh" you hummed, bashing in your post-orgasmic bliss as you leaned down to kiss him "I told you you could do it honey"

[kinkandkreep]

Celebratory Blue Lock Boi Yandere Interpretations: Ryusei Shidou, Yoichi Isagi, Meguru Bachira, Reo Mikage, Rin Itoshi

A/N:...Hey hey y'all...🙂 Ok, so I fuckin' lied I am so sorry. 😭 These was sposed to be for my birthday yestaday but the day got so busy and I was tied den a mug, so posting these did not happen. 🙃 But! Alas, I am here now, and I have for you all my introductory yandere interpretations for 5 of the blue lock boyos!

Keep in mind, I am still getting caught up on the anime so if anything reads off, I apologize. I'll very likely either come back and adjust these as I become more familiar with their personalities or just post a whole new set for each boy.

Anyway, enjoy!

Ryusei Shidou: 

Let me just say right off the bat that I get the strong notion that Ryusei is gonna swiftly become my favorite character the more exposed I am to him (like I already love his design and that weird sexual edge his character possesses 😏)

That aside, as a Yandere, I envision that he maintains that same intense energy he has about football, it just manifests a little differently

You make his heart “explode,” in a similar fashion to his precious football- either that, or you possess an “explosive” quality within yourself that draws him in

I saw someone say that outside of a few specific circumstances, Ryu is a pretty chill dude, which I think is 100% true

And I believe this can even apply to you, in the Yandere sense as well

Ryusei can be intense, and a little monopolizing 

He's also somewhat possessive 

But for the most part, as long as he knows you're his and you continue to make him “explode,” Ryusei isn't the worst Yan to have

Now, in my research, I have seen some interpretations of him where he’s much more sadistic than I personally envision him to be, which of course is fine, but just know that my Ryusei can’t really be bothered to act sadistically unless you try to fight him

Exactly why you’d try to do that is beyond me, but if you did happen to want to start a physical altercation with Ryu, he may be inclined to be a little rough with you, just to show a bit of what he’s capable of and also keep you in check

Yoichi Isagi:

I just look at Yoichi and a single phrase comes to mind- “he’s a sweetheart unless provoked”

You, provoke him

You make this nagging little voice in the back of his head make the Spongebob “wee-woo” sound at like max volume every time you’re in each other’s vicinity

Yandere Yoichi adores you

He’s like a little pup around you, always wanting attention and affirmation and reassurance that he’s the best, and the he’s going to be the best, and that throughout it all you’ll never leave him

But! He can also be kind of intense and maybe a bit of an asshole

Like just look at him and tell me you don’t get that vibe

I’m new to the game as it relates to Blue Lock but from what I’ve gleaned, Yoichi has a sort of metaphorical switch that turns on and off depending on the circumstance

Things get heavy when he’s on the field, and that’s when his “Ego” comes out

It makes him more cocky and confident, from what I understand, and I’d say the same thing applies where it concerns you

For the most part, Yandere Yoichi is just your average puppy with a thigh fetish

But let the “Ego” come out, and now he’s more domineering, controlling and patronizing

Try not to trigger that part of him though, and Yoichi is actually a pretty ok Yandere to have

Meguru Bachira:

Meg’s a weirdo but one of the lovable variety

He’s a very eccentric character, as I’m sure anyone who’s familiar with Blue Lock will know

He talks about the “monster” that inhabits his psyche and manifests itself when he plays soccer

I don’t particularly subscribe to the idea that this “monster” influences his actions on a normal, day to day basis (though that could be the case and I just missed it in my research) but I can definitely see how one would think it does

I will say that years of simple…cohabitation (?) with the monster has definitely left an indelible mark on Meguru’s mind

Yandere Meguru especially 

To Yandere Meguru Bachira, you are perhaps the most important thing in his life

Being bullied for so long and so relentlessly probably wasn’t the best for his mental and emotional wellbeing, as you can imagine, so Meguru has been in desperate need of someone to come along and show him genuine love and support

He’s found that in you, and that’s part of the reason his Yandere personality/tendencies make an appearance when he’s with you

He’s definitely clingy and wants all your attention all the time, and he’s also not very knowledgeable on what it means to give someone their personal space

He doesn’t give you much autonomy either, really preferring to do things for you when given the chance

He can get a little intense, but he’d never hurt you 

Physically, at least

And if by some off chance he were to hurt you otherwise, it would never be on purpose

All that said, I do kind of think that Bachira would be one of the slightly more uncomfortable Yans to have, simply on account of his neediness 

Reo Mikage: 

FIrst off, let me just say, eat the rich 😤

Chile when I was doin’ my research and saw dis dude’s frankly ridiculous net worth I was appalled 

But if he smart enough to know what to do with the money and assets then I guess it’s whateva 🤷🏾‍♀️

Anyway, that aside, let’s focus back up 😂

I could potentially see Reo being one of the more strict Yan’s to have 

He just has so much to protect, and that includes you

He’s also probably very used to getting the things he wants and having things go his way that he can’t imagine you not reciprocating his feelings, or at the very least seeing the benefit in choosing him over everyone else

And as we’ve seen (me only partially really, I’m still makin’ my way through the show 🙃) he already has some form of an attachment issue as it relates to Nagi, or alternatively, the things he’s invested time and energy in and on

Which, as you can imagine, would include you, should he decide to pursue you

As a Yandere, Reo is admittedly controlling and a bit smothering

But he’s just like that ‘cus he wants to ensure that nothing will separate you two!

It’s innocent really, honest!

And given Reo’s reputation, it would be rather difficult to convince others that he’s, well, kinda crazy if you were so inclined

But other than that, as long as you remain loyal, Reo’s a pretty fair Yandere

Rin Itoshi:

Whoo boy, this one’s a tough nut to crack

I honestly think Rin is more tsun than yan but I could definitely see where the Yandere aspect of him could potentially rear its head

I’m not 100% up on my knowledge of what the hell his deal is with his brother, but from what I’ve gathered, there’s this mostly one-sided rivalry (on Rin’s part) towards Sae (his brother, for the uninformed) because he (Sae) refuses to acknowledge Rin in soccer and he abandoned their shared soccer dream from when they were little

That all being the case, I really like the concept that Rin is a Yandere for you because A.) something about you warms something cold and dead inside him and B.) you recognize him as talented and capable outside of his brother’s influence, and he (Rin) desperately clings to that affirmation 

Rin is undoubtedly possessive, wanting nothing more than to hide you away where only he can access you or, alternatively, make it known to everyone, in whatever way, that you belong to him

Rin is also somewhat domineering and controlling, as he still doesn’t want anything to tarnish his reputation

I think as a Yandere he’s a little more open to PDA (not by much at all, but just a little) 

I also think that, as a Yandere, Rin can be fairly intense without realizing it

Like during games and whatnot, he ups the ante ‘cus he knows you’re watching and he wants to impress you, keep your attention, and have earned your praise when he’s done

That could also apply to him normally sorta, but I think the behavior is more prominent in Yandere mode

All-in-all, Yandere Rin isn’t the most terrible, he’s mostly just…needy, in his own special way

[sophieinwonderland]

A Roadmap and Why Anti-Endos Are Getting Left Behind

A recent post of mine was controversial and has been making waves. That post was the short un-nuanced version of a pro-endo future that's coming. It was phrased to sound threatening and inflammatory because it feels like that's all anti-endos will listen to anymore. But now that I've successfully gotten your attention, let's talk seriously about what's been set into motion, why it's bad for anti-endos, and why there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.

Positions on endogenic plurality in psychiatry

The nature of DID has been the subject of much debate within the psychiatric community for a long time. Most experts have agreed that the cause of DID is virtually always trauma. (Although many doctors are hesitant to assert this cause 100% of the time because edge cases can exist with anything.) But there's a smaller group that views it as sociogenic or iatrogenic, being caused by suggestion or doctors themselves.

I tend to agree with the majority.

But that majority group that believes DID itself is caused by trauma has also consistently acknowledged that there are, or at least could be, other forms of plurality beyond DID. This includes Dr. Colin Ross, who in the 90s speculated that there could be a non-pathological endogenous form of multiplicity. This was also echoed by Kluft, another DID expert who holds the traumagenic view of DID.

In the early 2010s, the creators of the theory of structural dissociation mentioned in a paper that mediumship and hypnosis may involve self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality.

By 2019, the World Health Organization's ICD-11's DID entry stated that you can experience multiple distinct personality states without a disorder.

Every source you can find about endogenic and non-disordered plurality either affirms it as a real thing or is at least neutral on it.

There is no hard anti-endo papers in psychiatry or psychology.

You can look through peer reviewed sources if you want for a single one that supports the idea that all plurality is traumagenic, and I promise that you won't find one.

A growing trend in research.

Like I said, in the 90s, there were a couple doctors talking about non-pathological multiplicity as something that may or may not exist. But this was largely un-studied. Later, this phenomenon got more attention, but there were no studies into non-pathological multiplicity, outside of spiritual possession, until 2016 with Varieties of Tulpa Experiences.

That was only 8 years ago.

The year after, in 2017, came a small interview study into online multiples that concluded this:

2018 saw the publication of Transgender Mental Health by The American Psychiatric Association, which asserted plurality could be non-traumagenic.

And again, 2019 saw the ICD-11 worded to say that one could experience the presence of multiple distinct personality states without a disorder.

There have been so many studies conducted in the intervening years that this post would go on forever were I to list them all.

If you want to see more, you can look at Guardians Systems' doc. Progress is happening at a rapid pace with new studies published every year.

This leads us to the next big milestone... actual fMRI research and brain scans. Because THAT'S HAPPENING.

Stanford University conducted a massive $50k study (not including the payment to researchers themselves) into tulpa systems, and the people running those studies recently did an AMA about it on Reddit.

The results are promising, showing neurological changes during possession. (Possession is a tulpamancy term for a headmate taking control over a single part of the body without fronting.)

Once this is published, it's only going to further pique interest in tulpamancy and endogenic plurality in psychology.

Are you scared yet? Because Rod Dreher is...

Rod Dreher is a transphobic conservative pundit and reactionary. I'll preface this by saying it's unclear how much of his fear is legitimate and how much is playing to a transphobic base as a way of saying "look what these liberals are doing now." Personally, I think it's probably a bit of both.

I'll be linking the archived version to avoid giving him clicks.

What conservative pundit Rod Dreher believes is that tulpamancy and plurality are going to be the next frontier of identity politics, as he makes the case for here.

He's of course NOT in support of this, but he's afraid of it.

And he's not wrong either.

In another quote from the AMA, Dr. Lifshitz mentions how much interest he gets from colleagues when he discusses tulpamancy.

The awareness of plurality and interest in it in medical spaces is rapidly spreading, and current studies do show tulpamancy improves mental health.

While it would be easy to dismiss Dreher's predictions as typical conservative fearmongering, the current trends clearly support what he's predicting.

He may be on the wrong side of the debate, but he can see the same signs and trends I do.

Plural Acceptance In Therapy

As said above, studies have shown thus far that tulpamancy is healthy, as are other forms of plurality. Plural awareness and interest is spreading quickly through academic circles.

And in one interview, Lifshitz mentions that they're interested in using research into tulpamancy to develop better DID treatment.

This will take a while to apply, and I don't know when they'll start using knowledge from tulpamancy in clinical settings, but there's a good chance that within the next decade, this research into tulpamancy may start to influence the treatment of DID systems.

How this will manifest is still unclear. Perhaps it won't go further than the advanced inner world exercises tulpamancers use to immerse themselves in inner worlds to communicate with tulpas.

But... a number of DID systems with tulpas have reported positive benefits from creating tulpas to help their systems. So maybe we'll see studies into using tulpamancy to intentionally make alters for DID systems and see how that benefits their mental health. If results are positive, this could be used in treatment.

Speaking of which, we're probably also going to see studies into having singlets create tulpas intentionally.

They're already having children make imagined companions, and have recorded these imagined companions are able to act seemingly autonomously, possessing their own thoughts and feelings.

This research cited research into tulpamancy, and suggested future studies should be carried out on adults to see if there are benefits.

I can already see the path from having adult singlets make tulpas to test for benefits of plurality, and then to testing on DID systems to see if this could be used to help strengthen communication in those systems.

And if these studies are done and the methods are proven effective and put into practice, anti-endos won't even know that the methods that are being used to treat them were derived from tulpamancy studies.

But as more anti-endos are being treated by therapists who are working to get them into healthier mindsets, it's likely you'll see a trickle down from the opinions of therapists to their patients, helping dismantle their bigotry towards endogenic systems and internalized pluralphobia.

If you're anti-endo and have seen other anti-endos complaining that their therapists seem pro-endo, know that it only gets worse from here.

Plural Acceptance and Gender

Plurality is also likely to become an increasingly big thing in topics around gender.

Just last year in 2023, we saw a study into the intersection of living as plural and transgender.

This study also marked a major milestone for plurals, being the first time ever that a system name (The Redwoods) was used as an author on an academic paper. Authors in this study worked across multiple universities, a hospital, and a gender wellness center.

This will almost definitely not be the last.

Additionally, we've lately been seeing live gender conferences with plural speakers speaking about plurality and this intersection. No longer is this community based entirely online.

Plural acceptance is going to quickly spread within the LGBT community. And anti-endos will be tolerated in those spaces less and less.

A Stranglehold on Resources

Another reason anti-endos are going to lose is because most resources are already pro-endo. Simply Plural and Pluralkit both support endogenic systems, with Simply Plural having links discussing endogenic plurality, linking young systems to the information.

There have been anti-endo attempts at breaking this stranglehold, but it always comes down to copying a more popular pro-endo thing and making it more hateful and exclusive, and it never gets close to enough traction.

Anti-endos contribute nothing to the community and are reliant on pro-endo resources, and every person they suggest Simply Plural to brings them closer to those pro-endo articles from The Plural Association.

Confidence in Being Out as Plural Means Plural Role Models

I don't know who these role models will be. Aimkid came out as a DID system and is pro-endo. Unfortunately, anti-endos have had success in bullying Aimkid off of social media.

But some studies have shown about 3% of the population is plural, only about half of which have DID, and I believe the real numbers are actually much higher.

As plural acceptance increases, it's only a matter of time before you start seeing some of your favorite celebrities come out as plural.

It's only a matter of time before plurals have their equivalent of "The Puppy Episode" where Ellen came out as lesbian on television.

I can't predict when this will happen. Things like that tend to come out of the blue. But I do believe it will happen and when it does, plurality will suddenly be pushed to the mainstream conversation.

This is Going to Quickly Become a Left-Right Issue

When plurality hits the mainstream, conservatives will fiercely oppose it. Because of the way reactions tend to work, that means liberals are going to fiercely defend it. Each side feeds into the other and results in more support in liberal spaces and more opposition in conservatives ones.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this. If you stand by bigotry in these liberal spaces, especially queer spaces, you're going to find your social circle shrinking unless you keep that bigotry to yourself. When this is part of the national conversation, you will find yourself cutoff by people you care about and spaces you previously would be accepted.

Intolerance to plural systems of any kind will no longer be tolerated. There will be no safe space for hate in those communities.

And with the overwhelming science and doctors supporting the existence of non-disordered and endogenic systems, with the support of the psych community, anti-endos will soon find themselves regarded the same way we regard anti-vaxxers and flat-Earthers in liberal spaces.

A Choice to Make

You're not doomed. This isn't hopeless. You can make a change.

System medicalism is The Titanic but you have life rafts you can hop on before it goes down.

Plenty of anti-endos have changed their ways. But if you stay on your current course, this is where it ends. You either maintain your bigotry, as you're cast out of queer communities, watching endogenic plurality infiltrate your favorite media, and with therapists who are pro-endo, all while your own hate and isolation destroy you...

Or you can choose to be better before it's too late. Because the longer you maintain your hate, the more people you hurt along the way, the more guilt you'll carry with you after you break away.

Or... I guess there's a secret third thing. A worse choice. You could join with the Rod Drehers of the world, because the Alt-Right will probably accept you gladly if you're willing to toe the party line, and turn against both fellow systems and the queer community.

I'm sure they would love systems with internalized pluralphobia who speak out against a plural future that they can hold up as examples, the same way they love homophobic gay people like Milo Yiannopoulos.

If that's what you want to be, I suppose that's an option too. 🤷‍♀️

If you do make right choice...

You can find acceptance. Your past mistakes won't be held against you.

Admitting that you're wrong and choosing to be better can be scary. But that's no excuse to continue down a path of hate.

If you do choose to make a change, we can build a plural future together. One where we won't have to hide or fear discrimination for being plural.

One where future plural children won't have to grow up feeling crazy and hating themselves and their headmates for being different, and they'll have real people to look up to who have been where they are.

My Part...

For myself, I'm going to do everything I can to push this future forward, to help bring it about. This future is an inevitability. But the more of us that spread awareness of the science and what's happening, the sooner it gets here.

But with or without my involvement... anti-endos... you're losing. Bit by bit, every single day, and you don't even realize it because you're surrounded by an echo chamber that refuses to see the reality of what's happening.

But We see it. Dr. Lifshitz sees it. Even conservative Rod Dreher sees it.

And you are so far behind in this battle that there's no way you can possibly prevent what is coming. Maybe you could have stopped it had you started paying attention half a decade ago. But you've walled yourselves off from anything that contradicted your worldview and that willful ignorance has left you playing catch-up.

Your echo chamber will tell you that you're safe to keep being who you are, to keep spreading hate and hurting innocent people because of what we are. That the future I promise won't happen. They'll tell you to ignore all the signs.

But the reality is that the world is changing and the future is plural, and you are going to have to make a choice.

I sincerely hope you will choose the right thing. But for those who don't...

Well, like I said, it's up to you. I can't stop you from choosing hate. I'm not going to try to make you into a better person either. That's up to you.

But I think you at least deserve to know what's happening and how it will end up affecting you if you don't make a change.

[echantedtoon]

Ocean Deep Ch13 T E N G E N

(Warnings: Mentions of killing and wounds, fighting which includes stabbing, blood/blood loss, attempted murder, implied murder at the end, etc. I'm also including a refresher on what kind of mers all of the boys that show up in the story are plus the wives-

Kyojuro would be a lionfish mer such as the one drawn by yuki2sksksk.

Tengen would be a white butterfly koi fish mer and would look like the linked post below except less eel and more butterfly koi also below.

Merman Tengen( minus the eel like features)

his tail would be more like this instead

https://images.app.goo.gl/G6CdGPbiLNgKwHTs6

his tail would be more like this instead

Makio is a Golden Dragon Koi mer

Suma is a (all blue) Halfmoon Betta Fish mer

Hinatsuru is a Strawberry Peacock Cichlid mer

Giyuu is a Pseudotropheus demasoni mer purely because I think the colors match him perfectly.

Sanemi and Genya are both bullshark mers. Same artist who drew the Mer Kyojuro.

Tanjiro is only briefly in the story and is a (green and black) Betta Fish mer

Akaza is a Betta Fish mer also by the same artist.

And Finally Obanai is a Coral Reef Snake mer specially the black and white version.

AND FINALLY A Q AND A!! You can ask me anything about the mers, this au world, etc! I'll answer all questions in the next chapter! For now just enjoy the extra beefy chapter!

taglist: @six-eyed-samurai @lavenderdrxp @jjamsbangtan @camilo-uwu @hopefulworld1

@shadyd3ar @amypop122 @azuredragonstrike

@mimisweetz @chaoticoperatorduckhairdo @staarflowerr

Remember if you want to be added to the tag list lemme know.

You had woken up surrounded by warmth.

Warmth and the sweet sound of a distant bird chirping. It stirred you into doing what you usually did in the mornings. Yawn and stretch out your arms-

"Careful! You nearly poked me in the eye."

WHAT-?!

Your eyes popped open and you squealed finding a pair of red eyes just inches away from your face. Out of instinct you squealed out again and scrambled back away from the sudden half asleep face of Kyojuro only to slip over Makio's giant golden tail and fall over onto your back.

...Well if everyone wasn't awake before they certainly were now. 

"Oh my goodness!" Hinatsuru's concerned face immediately peeked over Makio's tail and looked down at you. "Y/n, are you alright?"

A second later Rengoku perked up beside her rubbing his eyes and yawning. Suma jolted awake with a loud snort somewhere behind everyone as they all looked down at you. You groaned a hand reaching out to rub your head and slowly allowing yourself to take in what had just happened. Slowly you removed your head and looked down at your legs still half over Makio's tail. The three of them stared back at you with Suma just now sticking her head out from behind Kyojuro with the wildest bed head. You stared...until suddenly all the events of last night really kicked you good and hard in the head like grass suddenly getting squished under a falling tree. Akira. Kyojuro. KISSING!! The girls. Wife mentioned. KISSING!! You waking up in the middle of the night in Kyojuro's arms. 

K I S S I N G!!!

Your face went beat red and everyone was startled as you suddenly pulled off of Makio only to shoot up to your feet. A hand slapping over your mouth. That it-....IT ALL MUST'VE BEEN A DREAM!! YEAH!! THAT'S IT!! You were so overwhelmed by Akira showing up that you fainted, had a crazy dream, and woke up here because your friends were worried about you! Yeah! That's it! That must've been it! It was just a giant weird nightmare dream thing. You sighed somewhat even if you didn't really feel relieved.

"Honey? Are you alright?," Kyojuro asked concerning scrunching up his brows. 

"I-I'm fine," you shakily said quickly fixing your dress, "I just had t-the craziest dream with-.." You paused. Blinking before you slowly turned to look at them again. "..Did you just call me honey?"

"Do you prefer sweetheart? I'm sadly not too familiar with human nicknames for married couples but-"

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!! WAIT A SECOND!" You quickly held up your hands to the four of them with Suma rubbing her face and yawning widely. "Who said anything about us being married?! I thought you were only pretending to scare Akira off!"

As if they all were confused, the girls looked at one another in question, shrugged, and then all three looked at Rengoku as the defacto leader of their small pile. Sensing their want, Kyojuro took the lead as he should in Tengen's place and nodded.

"That's true. I was pretending to be your spouse in order to protect us all," he happily nodded with a large grin, "But then I proposed to you! You've been recuperating everything up to this point, it was only natural for us to take it to the next level!"

"But you've already accepted," he said confused gesturing to your hand.

Automatically you went to glance at your hand and to your horror found a shiny golden band around your ring finger and on the very front was a big green gem. Maybe an emerald? A pit immediately sunk into the bottom of your stomach as you stared wide eyed. Oh no. No no no no. That wasn't a dream?! This wasn't good! You didn't want to have this!

"I-.. You-.." You stuttered looking between their confused but happy faces to your hand a wave of emotions hitting you. Shock, fear, confusion, hesitation..but also strangely enough some flattery and intrigue under all of the big ones- You shook your head gaining a stern look. "Look. While I'm..." Flattered? Totally shocked? "..Humbled you all would find me attractive enough to want me to be your wife-" You settled on trying to be nice while also raising a hand. "-I can't be anymore than friends to you."

"WHAT?!," Suma wailed loud enough to make the rest of you wince, pushing herself higher by pushing up on Kyojuro's shoulders. He didn't seem to mind however and didn't seem phased at all by his wife's antics. "WHY NOT?! WE LIKE YOU AND YOU LIKE US!!"

"Not in a romantic sense! A-And on top of that we aren't even married! There's been no ceremony, no witnesses, and certainly no priest I know would officiate this-" And it was then that you had gotten an idea when you spotted the strand of rocks sewn into Rengoku's blonde hair. "Not to mention that you four are already married to Tengen! Remember?"

A silence was had between the four of them as they stopped where they sat, and then looked at one another. The elephant in the room being once again being addressed. You didn't forget about the obvious. Tengen was the entire reason they wanted to go back to the ocean

 "You have someone to go back to. Someone who loves you and cares about you so much that he's willing to destroy an entire town for you all."

You jumped as something calloused and firm grabbed your hand. The much larger hand of Kyojuro enveloped yours. F/c eyes looked up into deep red ones. The look they gave you was a deep longing. Nothing like the looks that other men gave you. 

"Neither do you. There's practically nothing here for you either is there? You said so yourself that there's not really much here."

"... Because the actions of selfish people and your Tengen are taking everything." 

In a matter of seconds his face dropped and eyes widened. "W-What?"

The smaller hand in his pulled away from him as her face fell. "You all were brought here by force, I get that and I don't blame any of you for that. But whoever this Tengen is is causing a lot of innocent people their lives. He's drowned people, drive tens of others away from here, and he's making it harder and harder for the people who're still here. And on top of it all I can't in good conscious involve myself where it'll probably only cause more trouble than I'm worth. " The coldness was felt when she pulled off the pretty ring and pushed it back into his hands. "Here. Take this back and save it for someone special you really want." 

The look he gave you followed by the looks of the others hurt a lot but...this was for the best. You couldn't live in the ocean with them and they just couldn't live the rest of their lives in a bathroom forever with the danger of being found out hanging over their heads everyday. No. You had to do what was best for everyone. 

"You four must be hungry." You finally broke the silence and turned. "There's some eggs and a head of lettuce left. I'll make you something for breakfast and recheck Kyojuro's wounds before I leave for work." 

By now his smaller wounds were all gone. His bigger wounds were nothing but surface cuts that would be nothing but maybe scars soon. The girls were all back at a healthy weight, and they didn't have any wounds that'd make it dangerous for them all to make the two week journey...It was decided then. As soon as you could get a horse and wagon, you'd take them all back. Even if you were unprepared, you couldn't delay it any longer. For everyone's best interest. As you left the room Rengoku was left staring so so confused at the ring. Why did she reject it after accepting their courtship? Was the ring not in her tastes? Did she not want him? Maybe she wasn't ready to be married yet? His thoughts stopped when Suma still hanging onto his shoulders hugged him tightly.

"Don't worry. She's probably just unsure because she hasn't met Tengen yet!"

"Yes! That's right! She wants to meet Tengen first!," Hinatsuru agreed smiling, "After all it wouldn't be fair unless he also met her! Don't worry!"

"... You're probably right." His hand closed back around the ring with a smile. "It's not fair for us to make a choice on their behalf! We shall wait until after they meet!"

You're head was filled with worries. Too many different thoughts buzzing around to really focus on one thing at a time. You made them something quick for breakfast and left them enough food for lunch to tied them over until you could bring them dinner...Which was impossible now because the entire butcher shop closed down three days ago when a quarter of the town packed up and left abandoning their homes and leaving for farther away towns or the city nearby. Even now as you walked along the road and looked upon the houses it was like you were walking through the remains of a ghost town. So many houses empty. So many businesses boarded up. So many people gone. Even now you watched as a man loaded up a wagon you had to pull by hand with who was presumably his wife standing by as he hauled another bag into the back. Wait..You knew those people.

It was Mr. and Mrs. Ochaco. The couple that ran the small series of fruit stands along the square.

You supposed with not enough people to buy their food, they didn't see the point of staying here either. It was like that everywhere now. No fish meant no income or goods. No goods means outside buyers wouldn't come by and bother. No income meant many people had no way to live. Without any customers their wasn't anything anyone could do about it. Which meant for a lot of people there was nothing left to do but become farmers (which not everyone could do) or leave for a better chance. 

THIS WASN'T FAIR! NOT TO YOU! NOT TO THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE! NOT TO THE INNOCENT PEOPLE THE HENYA'S GREED AND THAT MERMAN'S WRATH ENDED UP DOOMING!! 

It wasn't their fault! They didn't deserve to lose their families, their homes, their very way of life- And the reality only dropped from a pile of bricks to a boulder. As the legs carrying you came to a stop. F/c eyes widening as they took in the sight of wooden boards being hauled up on and over a window by one man as another took a hammer and nail and started hammering it into the home's side right over said window. And right in front of them both was your boss-

"M-Mrs. Satoshi?" You managed to get out finally snapping out of your stupor and began walking towards the old woman again. Upon hearing you the woman turned and looked surprised to see you there. "W-What are you doing?" Your arms gestured towards the flower shop. "What's going on?!"

Seeing the distress on your face, the old woman sighed sadly through her nose and shook her head. "Y/n, dear. I wasn't expecting you to show up again after yesterday. "

"What are you doing?," you repeated now recognizing the two men boarding up the shop as Niko and Mr. Satoshi. 

"Yes. It is surprising isn't it?" You blinked as she fully turned to you and put her hands in front of her. "I guess it was only a matter of time. I'm afraid I'm being forced to close up shop."

A shattering sound pierced the fragile ghost town's air. "What?! I-..B-But you can't!"

"There's really no other way around it. Without anyone coming to buy my flowers there's no reason for me to set up shop."

"Then..W-What are you going to do?"

"My son has enough room for my husband and I. It'll be nice to settle down and spend time with my new grandchildren and we won't be forced to leave our home. Oh, I'm so sorry for springing this on you." Her hands reached over and grabbed one of yours apologetically. "But you're still a young, beautiful woman and you have so many opportunities. I'm sure you'll be able to find something much more fulfilling than a flower shop."

"Mother, we're finished with the windows. Come rest with us."

She looked over briefly to her son before turning back to you, sadly nodded, and then left you standing there by yourself staring at the remains of what used to be your life crumbling around you.

"Y/N'S BACK!! Y/N'S BACK!!"

You ignored Suma's happy cheers and instead walked right past the bathroom door to drag yourself into your room and flop yourself down face first into your bed and just lay there. The roller coaster of emotions that you've been forced to deal with taking it's toll along with the stress and frustration you've been feeling over the past months. You lost.. everything. Your life savings, your free time, your job, most of your social life, and now even the job you loved is no more. The only things you had left was your sanity and home but who knows how long they'll last at this rate! You were tired. All you wanted was to lay here forever and just sleep the bad dream away. To close your eyes and never look back but unfortunately that's not meant to be because you could still hear them calling out your name from just down the hall wondering why you weren't joining them. 

...They couldn't stay here anymore. They had to go. And as your head lifted up from the warm, soft pillow you'd love nothing more than to lay on, you knew what had to be done once and for all. 

When night time came it wasn't really too much trouble to sneak out once again during the night once the moon was high in the sky. Even if you there still was people still left that could spot you, there wasn't too much of a risk considering there was barely anyone left to really spot you let alone come out at night. You felt guilt wracking your very core with each step you took against the dark night towards the only person you knew of that had what you need to hopefully save more lives in the end. The barn doors on Niko's property creaked slowly opened as moonlight shined inside lighting up everything inside in a pretty silver glow. 

A pretty brown and white pony turned it's head towards the dark figure standing in the doorway the pretty silver light reflecting off it's eyes. Before deciding the girl wasn't a threat and peacefully went back to chewing on the hay that was strewn about the pen. So it didn't mind a bit when the girl grabbed a bridle and approached it. It's so used to this being done so many times in its life that it didn't even put up a fight when she slipped it over his head or when she opened the door to the pen and pulled him out. Or when she took him outside looking around everywhere nervously as she took him beside the barn. Or when she made him stand still as she hooked up a familiar cart to him. Or when she pulled him along making him walk into the nearly empty town now. She only hoped Niko would forgive her for this.

You had done it. You'd committed theft. Yes. Technically this would be the third time you broke into someone's home, and stolen something but the first two times didn't count because the first time was technically a rescue mission and the second was recovering stolen property. There was a HUGE difference in now when you stole from innocent people and people you knew. You only hoped Niko would forgive you when you returned it to him a month later after you made the long trip back from the ocean. You quickly and quietly made your way back into your home looking back over your shoulder every five seconds expecting to see Niko or someone else come out of the darkness and raise the alarm for your crimes but the now mostly empty town remained quiet and peaceful..Or at least quiet. It was too eerie to be considered peaceful. You hadn't even gotten one step in the doorway when you were bombarded by a surprising sight. 

A pair of annoyed and worried tired red eyes bore into yours from in the middle of your common room. "And just where have YOU been, Young Lady?"

"Rengoku!? What are you doing?!"

Rengoku was sitting up and leaning against a wall, arms crossed, and with a stern look on his face. Uncovered and with his long fish tail all exposed for anyone to walk in or look through a window and see. "What am I doing? I'm waiting for you to come home. Where were YOU?" He challenged back raising a thick eyebrow. "You didn't come join us for dinner or come to bed and you worried me sick sneaking out so late. What were you up to out there all by yourself in the middle of the night?"

"What are you? My dad?" You shook your head with a sigh. "That's not important right now." You quickly poked your head out to peer outside but luckily the only witness to your guests was the horse so you quickly closed the door. "You do realize if it was anyone else who walked in you would've been in big trouble right?"

"That's no excuse. As the man it's my duty to make sure all of my ladies are safe and taken cared for!"

You felt a strange form of flattery at the gesture but it was shoved under by your annoyance. "I appreciate it but I've been taking care of myself since I was a child. I don't need you to risk your cover just to try and take care of me." 

"Well I can't help it if I'm worried! You didn't tell us or leave a note and-" He blinked as you just walked past him towards the hallway again. "H-Hey! Young Lady, you come back here when I'm talking to you! Where do you think you're going?"

"To get some bags and blankets." You could faintly hear the sounds of a thud and then Kyojuro dragging himself along the floors to follow you.

"Bags and blankets for what?", he called out confused. He wasn't very fast on land. 

"Food, clothes, and whatever else I'm going to need in order to get you four back home."

The dragging noises stopped when you opened the door to your bedroom. "Wait. You mean-?!"

"If you want to be helpful go wake up the others and see if you can slip yourselves into that wagon outside while I gather the supplies."

There was a bit of silence behind you as you began scouring for what you needed and then you heard loud and fast dragging again before the distant sounds of another door opened followed- "My fireflies, wake up! A joyous day has arrived at last! We're finally going home!"

You only sighed and began gathering what you needed to get for the long journey ahead. A few large bags for stuffing as much none parishable foods in as possible for your all you could find, another bag for clothing and essentials, a large gourd for water, and a couple large blankets to throw over the top of the wagon to hide the cargo. A tarp would've been preferable but unfortunately you didn't have the luxury or time for that. The sooner this was over with the better. In went three bags of mixed supplies. In went a giant heavy gourd you struggled to lift in. And finally in went the four of your friends. You found Rengoku struggling to pull himself in on his own attempting to climb up the back wheels making the wagon loudly creak under his weight. 

"SHH!! Kyojuro, what are you doing?!," you whisper yelled nearly dropping the lumpy bag of fruits and stale vegetables.

"Climbing in of course, Love! Is that not what you wanted?"

"...."

You had to take time out to literally help him climb in my lifting his long heavy tail and pushing it in. He was followed by you quietly picking up each of the girls and lowering them into the wagon alongside him. It was trickier than the last time you did this since they all had put on weight since the last time you had done this. Suma seemed the most excited and Makio had to slap a hand over her mouth as you pulled along the biggest blankets you had. With a light whooshing sound you threw them up in the air and pulled them all along until they draped over the entire back and effectively hiding the squirming mermaids underneath..Until they all popped their heads out excitedly on your left.

"I can't believe it! We're finally going home!," Suma practically screamed out smiling brightly, "I can't wait for all the yummy tuna again!"

A hand immediately shoved her head back down. "Pipe down! We're not out of this yet!"

"Wah! Kyojurooooo! Tell Makio to stop being so mean!"

"Let us all remain quiet. Makio is right and we are not out of this until we're back in our rightful home!" He blinked as the wagon jostled and you began pulling the horse along and in turn began to dragon the wagon along as well.

He was right. You weren't out of trouble yet. It would be at least a two week journey to the ocean and the road leading to it would take you all right past the Henya's home. You hadn't the faintest idea if Akira and his Aunt was still there or if he already left after the tantrum he through two days ago now. You didn't have a choice though. You had to take the chance. Stirring the horse towards the road headed Westward, you pulled him along and the horse followed obediently and successfully pulling the cart behind him. It was official. You all were off. Walking through the ghostly town early in the morning with the sun at least still three hours away from rising over the horizon. Each creak and rattle the cart made seemed to echo through the darkness making you fear that someone might wake up and catch you in the act. Each loud clip clip the horse made sending a chill down your spine that he'll attract something out from the darkness however as you all passed by abandoned home after abandoned home, no one showed their faces through the now empty buildings. And even if there was anyone left, they were fast asleep and oblivious to your journey. As you passed by the empty spaces, your friends stayed alert but quiet. Seemed even Suma knew the importance of being quiet right now. Soon the houses dwindled and you all were passing by the barn.

The Henya's farm. The place where this all started.

For you at least. Who knows where the girls were kept before they were moved here. Automatically you slowed the horse down to just a quieter slower walk as you approached the place. The shadow of the horrid barn seemed to loom over you all as you passed as if laughing and mocking them still for what they went through. You paid more attention to the house that laid still and dark. It looked like no one was home, so perhaps they had already left or maybe they were fast asleep. Either way you never took your eyes off of it as you all passed. The girls automatically lowered down with different levels of fear and worry and anger washing over their faces.  A growl made you jump and whirl behind fearing a stray dog or worse a wolf had chosen you all as an easy meal-..Only to half freeze half be relieved when you just noticed it was Kyojuro staring at the home too with such intensity that you swore his eyes were literally burning.

"Kyojuro, shush!," you sternly shushed him before quickly pulling the cart along.

It was doubtful that they could hear his soft growling from so far away but you weren't going to risk anything especially not when you just started your journey.  Despite all your feelings, the house remained dark as you passed it and stopped just outside the treeline and the road leading  into territory you've never been in. You took one last look at the quiet town and your home nestled inside, then at the Henya house, and then at the four pairs of eyes staring at you curiously wondering why you stopped. Two weeks. All it would take was two weeks and then you'd be free. With a shaky breath you turned back around and pulled the horse forward making the wagon creak along and leaving your old home behind. 

You never knew about the man who entered your empty home the following afternoon and discovered the remains of a locked box's burnt latch in your fireplace and the leftover scales in your bathroom. 

Your first day of traveling went..Ok you guessed. The sun rose three hours after you started and you four were surrounded by forest. You've already passed by the small river where the three Kocho sisters disappeared from here last autumn. Being so close near the ocean, it was always fairly warm and vibrant here but already it was nearing autumn again and soon you'd it'd be a year since they disappeared along with that Mitsuri girl. You know it was probably unlikely but you hoped that their families hadn't moved away too in case they ever came back. You stopped around midday by a small pond to allow the horse to rest and eat and drink and to give your aching feet a rest from the hours of walking around you had to do. And to allow yourself and the others to eat.

"Eat and drink sparingly. I don't know if all of this will last all of us until we make it there."

After an hour you continued until it was night, and you were plume tired. Sleep forcing you to tie the horse to a nearby tree and climb up into the back of the wagon to sleep with the others, Hinatsuru laying claim to you by pulling you to snuggle for the night.

"I can't wait for you to meet Lord Tengen. He's caring and kind and unlike any other man you've ever met."

The merman half responsible for your life going to hell? Yeah. Not going to happen but instead of arguing you just fell asleep to Suma snoring loudly again hugging Hinatsuru's other side. The next three days were pretty much the same. Walking, breaks, sleep, and rinse and repeat. By the fifth day you all hit your first snag. Surrounded by trees and forest constantly you didn't have exactly the ability to see far into the distance so when you came by a fork in the road. Both dirt roads looked exactly alike. Old, worn, and dirty. F/c looked between the two different directions unsure.

"...Where do we go?," you asked still so unsure.

"The right!" Makio pointed down the right path making you blink and look where she pointed.

"Right? Are you sure?"

She nodded blonde bangs swaying. "I remember that weird boulder there that looks like a bloated jellyfish when we were first brought this way. It's definitely right."

Bloated jellyfish?? There was certainly a misshapen rock there but a bloated jellyfish?? You decided not to argue and considering you've never been this far away, you just had to trust her so right it was. You pulled the horse that way and continued onto your journey. Three more days passed the same as nothing really changed but you were right days in now, more than half way in. Just supposedly six or so more days until you were able to reach the ocean. 

You never knew about the danger that was approaching fast with each rest and sleep you took  

By the ninth day the forests thinned out into half plains half trees. And the distant smells of salts and oceans were getting closer and stronger. Makio was right! You all were so close! You could taste the relief and freedom awaiting you all. Nine days turned to ten. The smells were stronger. Ten days turned to eleven. Most of the trees were gone now. Eleven days turned to twelve. You were so, SO CLOSE NOW! Twelve days turned to thirteen. You all hardly slept that night with the excitement. Thirteen turned to fourteen-

YOU ALL WERE SO EXCITED!! 

The four in the back could hardly contain themselves! You kept walking and walking despite your sore feet only taking a single break by a small pond to quickly rest and eat before moving on again. The sun rose, went to the middle of the sky, and then slowly started to set when you saw seagulls cawing and flying through the sky. And then you saw it. 

THE BEACH!!

THE BLUE OCEAN!!

THE YELLOW SAND!!

THE-...

.... the...You slowly came to a stop staring at what your eyes laid upon. The others initially excited also stopped what what they were doing to look shocked at what their sight beheld.

"Oh Posidon...Tengen.. what have you done?"

The setting sun's light lit up the beach and the blue ocean stretching far into the horizon as far as the eyes could see. And the destruction of others long past. The sounds-

The sounds of a torn sail flapped in the evening wind as it lazily flapped about from the broken mast ran into the ground, a mountain of splinters and what was once a majestic ship washed ashore next to it.

Clip. Clip. Clip. Clip.

The noises of the horse walking was quickly softened as the dirt turned into soft sand. Eyes bore sight of a graveyards worth of clutter. Where rotting wood met the cruel hot sand and the mocking waves that carried it here. Travesty after travesty you passed by. What was once boats of all sizes now marking the final resting place for those whom met a watery grave. The eyes gazed over each and every one as you passed. The result of greed and wrath. 

But it'll all be over soon. You just had to get them into the water and all of it would be over. So more deaths. No more Mermaids. Only normalcy.

You shivered and tried to ignore the deep claw marks embedded into the sides of a rather large fishing boat telling yourself that they were just marks from getting stuck on a reef. You pulled the horse along until you spotted a sight that you instantly recognized. A dock! An old honestly rigidity looking dock was right in front of you all leading to the water just deep enough to let them all swim without having to crawl stuck in the sand. You walked and walked until you were standing right in front of it all. The wind gently blowing your hair and the other four staring silently.

"....Well..this is it." You spoke after a minute breaking the silence and turning to them. "C'mon. Let's get you all back home."

There was a silence as no one moved for a moment just staring longingly at the sight- Kyojuro was the first one to take initiative, grabbing the side of the cart and pulling himself out only to land on the ground with a thud sound. Suma was next excitedly squealing and practically throwing herself out and desperately hauling herself towards the water. Hinatsuru and Rengoku weren't too far behind her as they too dragged themselves out. Meanwhile you grabbed onto Makio and started walking behind them with her in your arms. One, two, and three mermaids clambered onto the docks and without missing a single beat- Threw themselves off the sides without even waiting  to get into deeper water.

Large splashes could be heard as they disappeared into the blue, blending into the darkness as the darkness crept further into the sky.

"You don't have to go y'know?," Makio's voice spoke out as you watched what you assumed was Suma's tail slapping the water. "This doesn't have to be good bye. We still want you to meet Tengen! You'll seriously like him! I promise!" 

Makio watched as her face gazed at the water still, a hint of sadness as she opened her mouth to answer but didn't say a word as a reflection reflected by the limited sunlight caught her eyes. Pupils shrank as danger approached swiftly. Makio was once blinking in concern-

Then she was flying.

Makio elt weightless tumbling through the air as her world twisted and turned- AND THEN THERE WAS A SPLASH-

It's not often a person would see a beautiful beach. That was a privilege as eyes gazed out at the mournful sea. Gliding along in rows where it kissed the sand, it looked so peaceful in its dark blue colorful hue. The golden last rays was a gift delivered to the beholders by Angels and winds so sweetly staining the skin like a lover's kiss. The horizon itself looked as if it was a golden river of gleaming gold sewing itself in between the canopy of the dark twilight where the first few stars appeared twinkling like diamonds connecting it to the deep blue of the calm ocean paradise. In the distance, lines of the golden orbs last rays of tapered light splayed out, flowing through the cracks in the clouds like heaven was the one sewing the twilight to the waters with golden thread as the waters danced with sparkles, reflections from the light but it looked as if the angels made an accident while sewing the two together, knocking some stars out of the sky and making them shimmer and shine on the Water's surface.

It was beautiful.

She was so thankful for the beautiful sight. 

"If I can't have you, then I'll make sure no beast can either."

The cruelty and coldness of one's blade could never compare to the cruelty and coldness of one's heart and soul. Two bodies whom shared the beautiful sight fading from the blackened vision clouding her brain. A slide of cold metal and leakage of red stumbled, tumbled down in place of the pretty vision before them. Sweet salty air stained by copper as she stood. The cold cruel blade retreating from within her form as she stood there. The silence beckoning eyes of f/c to calmly turn. The sight of greed, dark with want toring away from the light embracing the hell within. Not but a whisper parted from her lips, the maw heavy swirling with blurs. 

"who..is the true monster here, Akira Henya?"

A distant woman's scream filled the void tilted sideways as the world tilted back and you were swallowed up by the coldness of the ocean blue and wrapped up in the warm embrace of lovers concerned. Catching her as world went black and echoes of sorrowful wails echoed throughout the voided night. The waves reverberating off the sky and cascading deep, deep into the Water's depths the waves carrying them further and further under the surface and muffled the unanswered sorrows of agony's past.

And two eyes of magenta stained red by wrath and blood opened wide.

"Y/N?! Y/N?!"

One who such went by such a name did not stir from the foreboding deadly slumber slipped into as shadows blurred and darkness swallowed them up. Sobs. Wails. Pleads. Cries. Prayers. It made not a difference to the one who had blood on his hands, staring down at the scene before him like a sick artist admiring the picture he painted into reality.

''That's right. Scream. It won't do a bit of good in the end!"

Hisses bore his fate as flames flared up at the one who would dare paint such a cruel thought into real form.

"HA! You think you're intimidating by just hissing at me like a fucking wet cat?! You're lucky you're in the bloody water otherwise you would've been gutted next like just another tuna!"

Anger. Wrath. Blood. Passion. And L O V E. All the red represents.

"Cry all you'd like..At the end of the day, no one is going to give a hell."

Oh how wrong he was. Someone did answer the cry of help.

And ironically hell had found him.

A violent rippling, rippling through the water like unholy blades through thin paper. A white ghost within the darkness rising amongst the dead and decayed ships and distorting the star covered water shining bright. It seemed as if even the great sun was scared of this beast as it hid behind the horizon and disappeared allowing night to cover it's unholy speed through the dark void and towards the docks above-

C R A S H-!!!

Feet shook as the old dock swayed, soon loosing his footing and the man found himself falling backwards onto his backside. Looking at the horror beyond that penetrated his sights. Splinters went flying. Wood cracked and flew in all directions cascading down into the water like unholy rain as something from below began pounding up and destroying E A C H  A N D  E V E R Y  P L A N K  O F  W O O D. Kyojuro out of instinct turned away shielding the one in his arms and the screaming women as droplets and wood bounced off his shoulders. The monster of ghost white passing by as a mighty tail passed them forcing the unholy rain to continue as it smashed and destroyed it's way up towards the human man. Bloodthirsty and itching for one thing 

TO ENACT VENGEANCE FOR HUMAN GREED.

Crashing, crunching, destroying ever closer to the human and then there was a splash. The iron like grip from the waves ceased him and he took a deep gulp of suffocation. The world around him wet and without any solid object to free him from the watery depths grip. Dark..Why was everything so dark?! He kicked out and flailed for nothing as the void never loosened it's grip on his air drained body. The menagerie of a shattered moon waved goodbye from the shattered waves of the seas rippling surface as he sunk deeper and deeper into the blackened abyss below that welcomed him in it's cold embrace. It's hands slowly wrapping around his body and killing him into that dangerous lullaby of death. It was .quiet. Almost even peaceful like as he drifted slowly down, down, down. He felt like falling asleep with his eye lids getting heavy. Until his flailing hand caught onto a floating board and he was able to pull himself up, breaching the surface, and gasping a breath of that holy air as he coughed out the void's water and laid himself upon the floating wood being his savior. Deep heavy breaths followed breathing in and out panting and coughing as panicked eyes eyes darted around but the darkness and waves enveloped any trace of the monster, and all others had disappeared. Nothing but shattered wood and darkness being his company. 

"You know ... There's five stages of grief." 

His form jumped against the board he floated upon eyes widening.

"Denial."

Panicked eyes darted around but he nothing within the darkness and waves or amongst the wreckage.

"Anger." 

The voice sounded ethereal other worldly. A ghost ebbing closer and closer from the depths.

"Bargaining."

The voice was blurred. Coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. Sounding so close yet so far away all at once.

"Depression."

Heart beats picked up. Swiveling his head this way and that as danger, panic, and fear set in with the unsettling doom ever approaching.

"And acceptance...But I would like to add to add one more step to that."

The water was silent. Nothing but the sloshing of his body sounding out as he desperately searched for the ghost that wasn't there but yet was at the same time. Until the hotness of something's breath wafted over his ear from behind as a voice whispered nothing but a word in his ear.

"R E V E N G E."

A man's shriek pierced the night and carried over the waves and forest before quiet settled once more. 

[vickyvicarious]

When a couple of hours had passed I heard something stirring in the Count's room, something like a sharp wail quickly suppressed; and then there was silence, deep, awful silence, which chilled me. With a beating heart, I tried the door; but I was locked in my prison, and could do nothing. I sat down and simply cried.

This is heartbreaking, of course.

But all the more so because it implies that Dracula didn't just come straight in through a window and hand over the child to be eaten. This time is different from before in several ways, all of which seem designed to taunt Jonathan with his own powerlessness even more.

The feeding itself appears to be happening in the Count's room, right by Jonathan's. Or at the very least, he came in through his own window, and then silenced the child and carried it away to be eaten elsewhere. Previously, he seems to have come back in through his own window and then walked through the castle to deliver the baby to the vampire women, but I don't think they were actually supposed to be in that room either. I suspect they're meant to eat down where they sleep usually, because then it's easy for Dracula to come in his own window and go down the stairs to deliver their meals more in the chapel area. There's also a ready place to dispose of a body there if I recall correctly. So Dracula coming in through his own window isn't necessarily any kind of taunt so much as his own standard procedure. But the children being so quiet while they are carried in the bag suggests some kind of hypnotic control to me, or at least gagging/smothering them somehow - they'd be wailing or screaming for help on the trip over too otherwise, instead of only making any noise when the bag is opened. So the fact that Jonathan hears a cry, even if it is quickly silenced, suggests to me that some amount of feeding or at least 'unwrapping' is happening right next door to him. Where he can hear (and then hear the even more horrifying absence of sound) but not reach, thanks to his locked door.

But Jonathan's door was not locked when Dracula left. I suppose it's possible that Dracula ordered the vampire ladies to ensure he was closed up in his bedroom before he returned, and the hypnosis scare was just their way of doing so. I don't really believe that though, because a) Jonathan's breaking free seemed genuine, and b) Dracula doesn't seem to trust them to get that close to him as a rule. I suspect their little dust dancing was not quite allowed, any more than they were supposed to look at or touch him even when he went out of bounds before.

So that means that Dracula probably came back and then locked Jonathan in afterward, right? In which case, he would likely be carrying the child right up to Jonathan's door with him, right up to the very threshold where Jonathan could try to intervene - and then locking him in so he couldn't.

And this is all on top of the mindfuck inherent in Dracula dressing up in Jonathan's clothes to go out and do this. Not only did Dracula ruin any local credibility as a human Jonathan may have had left after months imprisoned in his castle, not only did he potentially create 'eyewitnesses' to Jonathan posting his letters, not only did he potentially convince a mother that Jonathan was the one who kidnapped and killed her child... on top of all that, he did all this in Jonathan's own clothes. He did all this just - but only just - out of reach.

Jonathan sits down and simply cries. Because there is nothing at all he can do, and he has been made brutally aware of this again and again and again. And all this happens even before the mother chases after. Imagine how aware of both their helplessness he was. He knew her child was already dead before she even arrived. He knew she wouldn't believe him if he tried to tell her anything, he knew he couldn't save her either. He couldn't do a single thing, and she blamed him for that, and despite being forced into this inactivity on some level perhaps he blames himself too. Perhaps he is jealous of her - the bravery to act despite certain death being the result of acting; and the release that death brings. But he still wants to live, even if he has no hope he will. And he also surely is aware that Dracula would take personal care of his death or at least give him to the vampire ladies, that his fate would be the same as her child, and his soul would be forfeit as well as his life.

Meanwhile, Dracula didn't even care enough to go down and kill her himself. She was utterly disposable to him, not even of interest as sustenance. It's so deeply utterly cruel - but perhaps Jonathan is a bit jealous of that as well.

[onlyinmymiiiind]

Nine (WIP)

So I'm a bit petrified posting this - I haven't written fan fiction in well over a decade. But it's like riding a bike, right?

I'm working on this for Elucien week - here's a little sneak peek.

-

The first time it happened was by accident.

His scent filled the air all at once, causing Elain’s brain to short circuit, the intrinsically visceral voice inside her whispering ‘mine, mine, mine’. It was all consuming, her breath catching in her throat as she rounded the corner of the townhouse hallway from the kitchen and nearly collided with him.

Her mate.

She couldn’t stop the small gasp that left her lips, her fingers immediately pressing against that point in her ribs, the one that pulled ever so slightly, reminding her that she was tethered. To him. To this place, and this life and everything she lost.

She had to close her eyes to steady her breathing, blocking out the chanting in her head.

His sharp inhalation let her know that he too was feeling the pull, wasn’t expecting to run into her. It was then she noticed that his fingers had grazed her arms at the impact, steadying her. She opened her eyes finally, meeting his.

He let go as if he had been burnt.

‘I – ‘ he paused, his one russet eye watching her, wide with something Elain couldn’t quite place. He seemed to shake it off and took a step back. Close. They were too close. ‘I’m meeting Feyre.’

She nodded, taking a step closer to the wall to put more space between them, going against every instinct that roared at her to launch at him, touch him, taste him. She swallowed thickly, looking away and let out a shuddering breath. She couldn’t speak. If she did, she wasn’t sure the leash she had on herself would hold, this entire grasp she had on herself, stopping her from doing something so uncharacteristic it scared her. These feelings, this male – it was all so inherently unnatural and terrifying.

‘I-I’m sorry.’

His words sounded so quiet, so small, she finally looked up at him. He was breathtaking. It caused her heart to ache painfully, at the life she had lost, at the beauty surrounding her that she couldn’t take in. This man – this male –took the breath from her lungs, and she resented him for it. Was it truly her own desire, her own thoughts and needs and wants, or was it this gold thread tying them together, forcing these feelings down the bond?

‘What are you sorry for?’ When she finally spoke the words, her voice didn’t sound like her own. She looked up at him, scanning his face and seeing utter devastation across his features.

She didn’t move as he took a step towards her, not quite close enough to touch. But enough. The thread pulled and her eyes fluttered shut for a moment.

‘I feel it too.’

The words physically hurt. He said them quietly, breathless, the bond glowing. This wasn’t real. Any of it. This was a cruel joke, intending to make her suffer. Nothing they felt was real, just a constant reminder of this thread, shackling them for life. A life longer than Elain could even imagine, and she was exhausted by it.

‘I have to go,’ she whispered, forcing her body into motion, dragging it limb by limb away from the male it craved the most. Distance. She needed distance. It was the only thing that could keep her from crumbling.

Her back was to him, her hand on the railing as she moved to walk up the stairs when he spoke again.

‘I didn’t ask for this either.’

She turned back around on the second step, but he had vanished. His scent washed over her in waves in his wake, the bond in her chest a dull ache.

-

[batsplat]

after 2015 until 2018 it seemed that things had calmed down a bit between valentino and marc, in the sense that they had started to be polite between them again and valentino no longer seemed to be on a war footing. then after argentina obviously the situation worsened again. in the podcast where valentino spoke in 2021 if I'm not mistaken, when he talks about marc,however, he only refers to the events of sepang and not to what happened in argentina which instead seemed to have been the final “divorce”. so my question is, during 2016 and 2017 did valentino just pretend to put up with marc? because in that podcast you can feel valentino's resentment is still a lot even after many years, so I imagine it must have been even greater in the two years immediately following sepang, even if it didn't seem if you see how he behaved

well. look. it was reflected in how valentino behaved... I think sometimes if you see isolated photos and gifsets, you can maybe be left with a bit of a mistaken impression of what that dynamic actually looked like for those two years. they got to a point post-catalunya where they were civil to each other, and maybe they'd exchange two lines in greeting, at podium celebrations, when somebody in a presser made a joke... and maybe marc at the very least was sincerely hoping they could get back to something like what they had before 2015. in reality, though, it was still very very far away. it wasn't open hostilities... at some point in 2016, valentino realised he simply couldn't go on like this. I talked about it a bit here:

you get this discrepancy in his 2016 output, actually. if you compare what he's saying that autumn for written press interviews vs what he's saying with marc right next to him... he'd clearly decided there was zero point in directly fanning the flames. at the sepang 2016 presser when marc and him are quizzed on what had happened the previous year, he just goes with marc's response and decides against reopening the controversy by adding anything from his side. but he still made it clear he hadn't changed his mind in interviews from the exact same time period! at times, he tolerates marc's tentative advances - at other times, he's almost accidentally sucked in, like he can't quite help himself from laughing at something marc has said. but there was never a period where he forgave marc for what he'd done... for various reasons he just decided he wasn't going to harp on about it too much. he did basically say as much post-argentina 2018:

but yeah, argentina 2018. it's an interesting one, isn't it? the stuff that valentino says there doesn't actually feel... quite in line with anything else he's said about marc. typically, when valentino criticises marc, it really is all about sepang 2015 - it's very focused, very specific, he's talking about being unable to forgive marc on a personal level for something marc had done to valentino... but it's not like he's really coming at marc for anything else... when other riders have gotten into spats with marc, he's stayed out of it - and generally he remains pretty neutral when he talks about everything else concerning marc. so, for example, there's a world where the moment alex rins is saying marc doesn't respect other riders in 2019, valentino immediately jumps at the opportunity to offer his hot take... but he doesn't do that. and yes, he had criticised marc's riding before, in particular in marc's moto2 days, but obviously those criticisms were considerably more restrained and sounded at times quite worried for marc's sake. (he also got close to that in silverstone 2016 when he remarked marc had 'something special' for their battles, but a) he's not wrong, except insofar as it's clearly mutual, and b) he explicitly said he didn't have a problem with that fight and considered it hard but fair). in 2017, when valentino was criticising other riders for being too aggressive... well, he wasn't doing so with marc, and he even conceded the point to marc in subsequent races after marc had obliquely criticised valentino at cota for his rhetoric not matching up to his own riding. when valentino's young riders have gotten into their own spats with marc, he's not waded in either, at most saying stuff about marc's fight with pecco that from his lips sounds almost like something akin to praise. radio silence after bez's run in with marc at the end of last year... argentina 2018 is the exception not the rule

and you know... at the end of the day, that was an emotional reaction. valentino might be wearing the habitual smile on his face during the media debrief and sound reasonably calm and composed, but he was furious. which, it's always worth remembering, isn't an entirely unreasonable reaction to that specific situation. yes, valentino doesn't have a clean track record either, but you're going to struggle to find such a... weaponised carelessness, a blatant disinterest in his fellow riders while shoving them aside, in the way marc was exhibiting that day - and indeed that whole weekend. looking back, of course argentina 2018 ended up being an isolated blot on marc's track record that he's not come close to repeating since (yes, he's made high profile errors that took out other riders, but it's different)... but we didn't know that at the time. also, I doubt valentino much appreciated being treated just like an obstacle in marc's path! the fact that valentino wasn't the only marc victim that weekend kind of has an interesting effect, because you have to doubt whether it would have helped if valentino felt like he was being targeted specifically by marc, but on the other hand... well, it's almost disrespectful, isn't it... being singled out is in a way still better than being brushed aside like any other rider

still, valentino's pushing it with his criticisms, he's out of line, and he clearly did lash out in the heat of the moment - which was of course largely a product of the resentment he'd been holding onto those past two years. calling marc's behaviour that day dangerous? sure, you'd find a lot of agreement for that. saying that marc was ruining the sport? that he was intentionally causing other riders to crash? ... well, hold on one moment. I reckon the simplest explanation is the best one here: valentino was angry and said stuff he wouldn't otherwise say, which we know because he's not done so before or since. of course, he was never going to retract what he said about marc that day - he wasn't ever going to apologise for it. not with their history, not when there was still just enough about those argentina comments that he meant... so he wasn't going to feel too much regret about the bits he wouldn't have said under any other circumstance. the problem post-2015 for valentino is that constantly signalling his fury to the world wasn't doing him much good... but pretending like everything was just fine clearly also took a bit of a toll. argentina 2018 wiped the slate clean - even though they gradually crept back towards basic civility after that. and valentino really didn't continue with that line of critique... since then he's basically completely reverted back to a sepang 2015-centric approach. maybe a few hints at it... in 2021, he said something along the lines of how he doesn't feel good when he's on-track with marc, but that's pretty generic while also crucially being personal - he's not saying marc is a problem for the series, he's saying it's them specifically that have an issue with each other

which doesn't mean he didn't believe what he said in argentina 2018 in the moment... when they reconvened in cota and had marc and valentino do separate media debriefs from the main presser, valentino said he stood by his comments - but also didn't actually repeat them or elaborate on them or anything. he's back to terse short responses to the press' questions, saying he wants to focus on the race ahead: kind of the go-to approach when it comes to marc post-sepang (with notable exceptions). he's walked his strongest comments back as much as he was probably ever going to - by simple virtue of the fact that he's left it at that. and you know, he's a complicated guy... 2016-17 was both pretending and it also wasn't. he didn't act like everything was forgotten, but he certainly was willing to let people believe that this relationship might end up being mended - which quite frankly was probably never going to happen. mostly, he was just sort of sick of the whole thing, struggling to enjoy himself in what had become such a charged, hostile environment for all the riders involved. at the same time, look - fundamentally, the interpersonal chemistry with marc was always fine. they click as people! they click as riders! marc makes valentino laugh! sometimes, that line between 'pretending' and 'letting yourself pretend' and 'actually not pretending at all' can be quite thin. when valentino talks in that time period about how much he enjoyed a battle with marc, of course he isn't lying - because he really does enjoy those fights! that's what racing is all about for him, and that's something him and marc still share! as long as marc isn't barging him aside and causing him to crash, that is. maybe it'd be easier if it were all a pretence, but it wasn't... sometimes, when you say you thought a race was hard and fair, you really do mean it and you really did have a lot of fun. sometimes, the struggle isn't actually acting nice for the cameras, it's trying to bite down the temptation to laugh alongside your sworn enemy

see also assen 2016... like, isn't this kinda wild? you've just had catalunya the race before, you've just had the mere semblance of a tentative start to a possible reconciliation - then they return to the place that was really the beginning of the end for them. they go on a few track familiarisation laps, including to check out the resurfaced final chicane (aka the scene of the crime). they race each other on said track familiarisation laps. then marc brings it up in the presser, giggling about the whole thing, and apparently valentino also finds it pretty funny - before he visibly swallows up his grin. later that weekend, marc pointedly decides to try out valentino's final chicane move himself during the warm up session. this is all obviously deranged, but it's a type of deranged where they are fundamentally on the same wavelength. it's the kind of ridiculous behaviour they're both incredibly fond of... you see it in how valentino shrugs off the towing at catalunya 2019, and thinks it speaks to marc's smarts and wiliness - unsurprising, really, because they're so similar in that regard, and valentino has never shaken his admiration for marc as a competitor

valentino can clamp down on his animosity towards a rival during his direct interactions with them... lord knows if you watch a few of the casey and valentino face-to-face interactions over the years, you really wouldn't match that up with the sheer vitriol of some of the stuff they were concurrently saying about each other in the press. that rivalry was never really personal (on valentino's end), it was never fraught in the same way (for valentino anyway) - still, it shows he's theoretically capable of separating this stuff out when he needs to... and he just about managed with marc for two years. if he had just been waiting for an excuse, surely you would have heard at least a hint of that when him and marc swapped paint in 2017. you never quite knew how he was going to answer the inevitable questions about marc's riding, but no direct criticism was forthcoming at any stage. the post-argentina 2018 rhetoric wasn't in any way premeditated from valentino's side, and personally I don't think he was just waiting for an excuse either. it was the result of a constant internal conflict between knowing that engaging in any more active beef with marc wouldn't do anyone any good, and the fact that he still hadn't forgiven marc... and then a race came along that simply pissed him off enough to push him over the edge

from 2016 onwards, valentino both very much wanted and very much did not want further conflict with marc, and neither of those impulses ever quite go away. usually, he's disciplined enough to avoid stoking the flames any further... potshots to the press outside of the paddock are essentially a free and harmless outlet in that regard, and even there you can tell he was trying to scale it back in the years where he was being forced to directly interact with marc. he was pretending and not pretending and sometimes pretending like he wasn't pretending and sometimes pretending like he was pretending. maybe it would have always just taken one major on-track confrontation for things to fall apart between them again... but you do kinda have to acknowledge the whole thing was really unfortunate. I've long thought that something like sepang 2015 was pretty inevitable as long as valentino managed to put himself in title contention once marc had joined the premier class, but I don't actually feel the same way about argentina 2018. an awful marriage of circumstance and coincidence and bad choices caused the relationship to fall apart again this badly. valentino might have had some more or less sincere misgivings about marc's riding, but at the end of the day he wasn't going to ever express them unless it got personal - because all of these people are incredibly self-centred and valentino wouldn't have felt like it was worth it. he lost his temper, he said some stuff he might partly but not fully believe, he's not inclined to bring it up again. that's that

[detectivekonan]

june 26 2024

this is going to sound like a very paranoid post, but i have reasons for it.

rape / sexual assault mentions (scroll down if you just want the basic gist at the end of this post. long post but its important to me)

so as I have been consistently posting about the past several days, the problems with my neighbors have escalated. for the past several months I had heard the same voices talk bad about me. No one around me IRL would believe me about it due to my schizophrenia, but it has escalated very badly. on wednesday june 19th i overheard them talk and discuss about murdering me, raping me, and framing it as a suicide. because I am schizophrenic with an old history of suicide attempts, people wouldnt listen to me when I told them in that moment what I heard them say. and then its gotten extremely dangerous for me where I live. and my mom refuses to leave the doors locked as I have posted before, I was raped on saturday june 22nd between midnight and when I woke up, which was about 1:59am. I suspect that this was the second time they broke in and raped me,but I couldnt "prove" the first time. I had slept very little after hearing their plans, and so when I have fallen asleep, its been really hard for me to wake up. I'm not getting into the details on what happened nor what happened for the rest of the weekend, but I had my broken phone recording audio when I went to bed on friday night, and caught the men in the act. I had a rape kit done on monday as my mom refused to believe me and take me to the ER. on saturday afternoon.

I believe they are currently stalking all of my social media, and thus they know i am androgynous transgender and into woman exclusively. but besides the possible hate crime,

i have filed a police report and given them the recording, and outing myself to the police since i do believe it played an important part in this. i do not have much hope in them getting caught nor any hope in the police due to the audio recording being bad and for the fact that ive never met any of my neighbors, among my personal feelings about law enforcement. the only neighbor i have met was the one that let me stay on her couch during homelessness last year, and thus cannot point them out.

in the early morning last night I heard them trying to break in, again, as I suspect they realized I was back home. when I got up this morning there was a foot print kick on the door, and more dents. I have very hard feelings that it was two of my male neighbors, with a woman that knew that this has happened. theyre either friends, or family members of each other. anyways. but i strongly believe that it was my neighbors, but cannot prove it. my mom is still treating me like im insane for being scared and begging her to lock the doors at night and during the day, as once again, i have a schizophrenia diagnosis. and as been discussed by people, those with schizophrenic spectrum disorders are more likely to be abused than to be the abusers, with people not believing them due to said diagnosis's. that has been my case. they know this, which is why they planned to make it look as a suicide.

i need help protecting myself and catching them, and I cannot do this by myself. I need cameras with audio and video that work and locks. If I can catch them on camera, I will be able to give it to the police to help my case. I cannot move out of my home due to being disabled and lack of housing around me, alongside that my mother controls my finances without my wishes. even if i want to move, which i do, i am essentially not allowed to. my mom did try kicking me out however when i told her about the rape, as she does not believe me that people would just "enter the house" when its unlocked 24/7 (its not unlocked this much anymore) .

i am scared to be in my room, and to be at home by myself or with my 4 year old sister, and I am terrified to walk anywhere. I have panic attacks multiple times a day, crying spells, and im still in pain from the events.

I need self defense items and cameras with motion sensors and audio and anything i can use to help my situation. i do not know what kind of security cameras that are usable without a stupid phone app. my phone is broken, and is one of the reasons the audio recording came out shitty. i am worried they will retaliate now that the police has the report. washington has a horrible history on rape kits going untested, and I fear that will happen to my case as well.

this is my amazon wishlist, if anyone has any advice on what equipment or cameras that are good or self defense items etc to add or if anyone wants to get me anything for help with this as well that isnt on the wishlist, i am OK giving out my post mail box address to those i can trust that arent my neighbors (and i dont know their names or social media, but i have heard them talk about things i have posted exclusively on here, like my gender and sexuality) or live where i live. this is sadly very urgent, and the reason i changed my url a few weeks ago. i may or may not change my url again soon, or remake my blog entirely, even though i have had this blog since like, 2017.

and anyways

TL;DR: I was raped and need help getting evidence of what they look like and help protecting myself, especially while i wait for the police to work on my case till they are caught or till they try to kill and/or harm me again. they live too close by to me. i have a wishlist for items, and am willing to send my post mail box address to those who want to help but dont see the items on my wishlist.

wishlist again

thank you for reading this, and more so if you look at my wishlist. please dont tag my posts with anything besides trigger warnings. please boost this post to reach people who can and want to help.

peace and love on planet earth xoxox

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Headcanons about Jameson and Grayson as kids/babies?? Thx!

jameson and grayson as kids head canons

of course! their relationship is one of my favorites in the series, and i love their development. some of these are from when they're really young and others in their teen years. hope you enjoy these. i did make another jameson and grayson hcs post if you want to check that out. its not specifically about them as kids, but there are some hcs about them younger.

they used to binge watch friends together. jameson was the only one who knew grayson loved the show. jameson's favorite characters were joey and phoebe and grayson's were rachel (and joey but he'd never admit it) (i honestly dont remember much from the tv show so like their fav characters might be inaccurate)

grayson used to love (and still does) ranting about his paintings and stuff as a kid to jameson. he'd drag jameson out of his room or wherever he is, take him to his art room, and start talking about the different colors he used, what he thinks he can improve, asking for jamie's opinion, asking jamie if he can paint him, etc.

gray once made this gorgeous painting and jamie really liked it but was too shy to ask grayson if he could have it. gray could see he wanted the painting and surprised him one day after school with it hung up in his room with a card saying 'a gift from your brother who loves you very much. never forget that' (this happened when they were like 11-12)

gray once admitted when he was 9 that he loves flowers so jameson went out to their garden and picked tons of flowers that he thought grayson would like/reminded him of grayson. he made a huge super aesthetic bouquet and put it in grayson's room. he didn't tell him it was him though cause he didn't want grayson to think he was soft (gray knew though)

jamie would run into gray's room after having a nightmare to cuddle with him. he think gray has a really nice, relaxing voice so he'd make him read him a story/talk to him.

they were both the face of this expensive kids' clothing brand when they were like 10-11 (they've probably been the face of many brands, i might make a post about that).

when jamie was a newborn, grayson absolutely loved to kiss jamie's cheek before he went to sleep. he'd literally cry until someone took him to jamie's room to let him kiss his cheek.

when gray was learning how to take nice pictures with his camera (ig he was around 10), he'd take walks in the blackwood and drag jamie alone bc jamie was always truthful about the quality of his pics. if smth was bad, he'd say it. gray appreciated his honesty.

grayson taught him how to put on a tie. he'd sit with him in front of a mirror for a week straight trying to get him to learn how (jamie was super uninterested in learning which is why it took him a week)

when jamie was younger, he used to kick off his sheets while sleeping. he'd always wake up shivering begging for someone to hug him to warm him up. gray used to sit next to him while he took naps, reading some kids book, and would pull the blankets over him when he pulled them off.

gray used to pick out jamie's little oufits when he was a baby (gray was like 3 and already knew how to dress someone nicely bc, well, he's a hawthorne). he used to sit in front of his closet on a stool cause he was too short, flipping through jamie's clothes.

when jamie was a like 7, he was so scared that gray would drown when swimming that he would sit hidden behind trees or smth, keeping an eye over him to make sure he wouldn't die.

jamie has always loved music. ever since he was like 10, he'd run into grayson's room whenever he found a song he thought he'd really like. he'd say smth like 'gray, gray, i found a song i think you'd like can you pls listen to it'

jamie would hide behind the door whenever he'd hear grayson playing the piano cause he liked the sound of it. he found grayson to be a really talented pianist and found the sound of him playing really relaxing. he especially loved listening to grayson playing the piano whenever tobias would tell him he wasn't enough. he found it comforting.

jamie would steal all of grayson's underwear and hide it on the roof. grayson would have to wear pants with nothing underneath or would have to call nash to get his underwear back. tobias would get super mad at jamie obviously, but jameson didn't care cause he thought it was worth it.

grayson has always hated the sound of nails on chalkboard. he's the biggest hater. jamie used to come up behind him with a mini chalkboard scratching it to piss him off. he stopped doing it after grayson hit him in the head with the chalkboard when he was 12.

jamie used to sometimes sit down in gray's room asking him about what he's currently reading bc he knows gray loves to rant about his books but is too shy to do it cause he thinks he's bothering people. gray would light up and smile and start ranting. jamie honestly couldn't care less about the books but loved to see his brother happy. he stopped doing that when emily started causing issues between them but recently started doing it again (gray cried the first time he did this after emily)

following my last hc, jamie has always loved formula 1. grayson used to look at the runs with jamie which usually happened very early on sunday mornings so nobody ever wanted to watch it with him. grayson always did though even though he didn't care about f1 (this has been going on since jamie was like 11, but stopped for a while after emily wrecked them, but they started doing it again a few months after avery came into the picture) (@ariscats)

when jamie was a child, he wouldn't be able to sleep with the lights off cause he hated the dark. he found the dark lonely (still does) and would always overthink in it. he used to go to bed with the lights on bc of this but tobias hated it bc he thought it was stupid. gray knew tobias got mad and it made jamie sad so he'd go into his room every night to turn the lights off after he fell asleep. as jamie got older (and wanted to please the old man more and more), he started going to bed with the lights off even though it made him feel like shit.

gray's hands would always get cold when they were really young in the winter but would always forget to bring gloves. jamie would remember though and bring him some in case he needed them when they went out. as they got older, gray slowly started to remember to bring gloves so jamie stopped.

[glennrheesworld]

i know you write fluff but can you write more angst in this request.

both glenn and y/n are like dating, maybe even married. y/n is doing something when a guy comes and tries to kiss her and glenn comes rescue her.

if this is too much, you dont have to write this. you can ignore it if you want. thank you anyway :3

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮~

genre: angst & fluff pairing: Glenn x f!reader summary: When you think you can't fight any longer, Glenn comes to rescue you. warning: cursing, SA, & mention of blood

a/n: sorry for not posting in months, I've been dealing with some personal stuff in life and it's taken a huge toll on me (not proofread/rushed)

A new survivor, David, had arrived at Alexandria two days ago and his presence did nothing but discomfort you. His eyes were always somewhere else, but your face and his inappropriate comments just made it worse.

Glenn knew about this, you having told him the second time it happened. You didn't want to cause any trouble, so you kept quiet after a while.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Glenn places a hand on your waist and pulls you in to press a chaste kiss on your cheek. “Mm, hey,” you smile at his affection.

You notice the leather gloves he wore, wondering what he was up to. “What are you going to do?” You ask him, pointing at the gloves he wore. His gaze goes down to the gloves, “Oh, I’m going to help Rick and Daryl unload some boxes Aaron found on his run.”

Just as he said that you hear Daryl’s whistle, getting Glenn’s attention as the gates close shut. The truck drove in reverse, backing up with a few boxes loaded in the back.

“Gotta go help now,” he presses another quick kiss on your lips this time, before turning to jog towards the group.

After seeing Glenn get to the others, you turn back to what you had been doing previously; pulling out weeds and dead plants from the little garden you grew. You dig into the moist dirt, carefully pulling out stems and leaves.

You continue doing this for a while before going to the back side of the house, grabbing the hose to rinse your hands.

Glenn and the others had finished unloading the boxes, carrying them to the inside of the church so Gabriel could take care of the rest.

With one hand holding the hose, you rinse the dirt off the other. You do the same thing to the other hand before turning the hose handle off.

The sound of a low whistle gets your attention once you straighten up.

Just as you turn around, you’re met with David. You feel your heart begin to race with nervousness as you spot the smirk plastered across his face; his eyes are filled with something other than friendliness.

“What are you doing all alone, sugar?” He swipes his tongue over his top lip.

“What are you doing here?” You furrow your brows, anger, and frustration washing over you as you glare at him. He wasn’t supposed to be back here.

He lets out a chuckle, a disgusting chuckle. “Aren’t you a feisty one?” He comments, deciding to come closer to you. The look in his eyes makes you shiver as you take a step back, clearly angry.

“Let’s have some fun, baby.”

“Don’t come any closer!” You ordered him, fists tightening at your sides.

David just smirks at the sight in front of him, without doubt enjoying how you looked, all terrified yet willing to fight. “Or what?”

“Or Glenn will fuck you up—” David’s hand pulls your arm, making you tumble flush against his chest. You could smell his nasty sweat and feel the dampness on his shirt.

You pull yourself back, your wrist still in his hand. Adrenaline runs through your body, attempting to swing your free arm at him, only for him to catch it with his other hand.

“Let—” you shake your arms, trying your best to set yourself free, “—go!”

David can’t help but chuckle, turning you around to push you up against the wall of your house. Your shoes squeak on the wet grass, the hose still on the ground.

Your eyes tear up, struggling to get yourself loose from his strong grip. The feeling of not being strong enough hits your guts. David was stronger than you and you know that. Still, something in you wanted to believe it wasn’t true.

And just imagining what he could do to you frighten you to the core.

“Not so strong, are you?”

He taunts you, disgust and fear settling at the pit of your stomach. You didn’t want to cry but hot tears were already beginning to spill. You could feel your vision blur as you turned your head away, not wanting to see his monstrous face.

David presses his body against yours, trapping your legs so that kicking isn’t an option. You tremble, your strong act now gone. “Please, stop!”

With quivering lips, you shake your head as his face is close to your neck, inhaling like a creep. You shut your eyes in fear, praying he would get off you.

His free hand slithers down to your leg as he then grasps your thigh. He gives it a rough squeeze before letting out a vicious chuckle. A laugh that makes your skin prick with goosebumps.

“Heh, I can’t believe I finally have you all to myself.”

He’s suddenly yanked back by his shoulder, someone turning him around. “What the fuck—” A harsh punch shuts him up quickly, enough to make him tumble back. Blood drips down onto the grass as David brings his trembling hands to cover his nose and mouth.

David lifts his gaze from the mess in his hands to Glenn. His eyes widened with fear and before he could say any dumb excuse, Glenn lunged at him.

You take a step back, face wet with hot tears still spilling.

“You piece of shit!” Glenn is on top of David, fisting the collar of his shirt as he throws punches at David’s face. It’s not long before Glenn’s fists are covered in blood. David’s face, on the other hand, is fucked up. Badly.

David grunts on the ground, unable to keep up with defending himself. Some people hear the commotion and soon Rick comes to stop it. He grabs Glenn and pulls him off David, the grass splattered with red specks.

Glenn stumbles back, eyes trained on a badly injured David. David’s nose looked broken, blood coming out his nose. His face was just stained with his own red fluid and with a couple of yellow-greenish marks.

You watched the whole scene unfold in front of you, a trembling hand covering your mouth. What just happened made it way more difficult to process. Your mind was racing, and the tears kept spilling.

Rick was trying to calm down Glenn, who was trying so hard not to lunge at David again. The look on David’s face was clear as day; he fully regretted what he did.

“Lay your hands on my wife again and I’ll kill you!” Glenn snarls at David, full of emotion. Within a few seconds later, Glenn is in front of you, eyes softened. And badly injured David is taken to the infirmary.

He holds himself back from touching you, afraid that he might frighten you. Worry is written all over his face, his eyes searching your tear-stained face. “Love?”

His voice is gentle.

Your lips quiver before you wrap your arms around him. He lets out a shaky sigh as you weep into his embrace. And he begins to tear up.

He tightens his hug, burying your face into his shoulder as he rests his cheek on top of your head.

Although you were shattered by what you experienced earlier, you were a bit more eased to know Glenn would always be there for you.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

AN: Little post for Regulus's birthday that in my headcanon is today. 25th of June, Cancer child, obviously.

This one is a little sad but sometimes I need to write angsty things about Regulus to deal with my personal pain because I kin him so much.

Content warning of verbal and physical abuse plus mentions of self harm.

*****

Regulus had always been invisible on his birthday. It wasn't that people actually forgot. It was just not a big deal like Sirius’s birthdays for example. Sirius had always been the king. Even if he was the rebel. Even if he fought constantly with their parents. Even if he represented everything that the family didn't. Sirius Black was the heir. Therefore his birthdays were special. Regulus's were not.

It always mixed with the end of term exams as well. This year, Regulus had gone through his GCSE's with stress but hopefully successful results that would come out on August. Being a Black, Regulus had lots of expectations on him to get full marks. Like Sirius surprisingly did for his.

Regulus didn't have a party or a cake until summer officially began.

Regulus's sixteenth birthday was stained by Sirius's rebellious behavior. It was the summer before his eighteenth birthday, before he became an adult and he had to start behaving like the heir everyone expected of him.

So Regulus's birthday party became an excuse to invite "important people" over so they could meet Sirius. A business meeting with old people that Regulus didn't even know. Regulus didn't have friends besides Barty, he didn't expect much people of his age. But still.

Their Grandfather Pollux was dragging Sirius around to introduce him to coworkers, shakeholders and businessmen. Orion and Walburga were acting like proud parents. Everyone was pretending. Regulus was practically a ghost.

"It's okay" Regulus sighed as Sirius commented furiously how it wasn't fair, when he could escape from Pollux into the kitchen for some forbidden drinks "I hate my birthdays anyway"

"Grandfather is a dick. Heard his lung is failing, hope he passes soon"

"Sirius!" Regulus gasped but he hid a smile. Honestly it sounded cruel. But that man had been horrible to them their whole lives.

"I don't think I am ready for this, Reggie" Sirius added, looking around with disdain. The group of people chatting formally. Like a meeting in an office. Not like a teenager's birthday.

"I knew I had to be the heir one day. But that seemed far away when we were kids... Now I only have one year left at Hogwarts, and then my life is supposed to be this... Boring meetings, pretending to be perfect, talking nonsense about superficialities..."

Regulus was relieved he was not the heir. He had a plan with Barty to run away as soon as they finished school. Actually, they didn't even matter for their families. But Regulus didn't think about the burden Sirius actually had right now.

"There's no option" Regulus murmured as he had a sip of his drink.

"What if there is?" Sirius asked "What if I ran away with Uncle Alphard to Rome or whatever"

"He just left to make some businesses. He will be back"

"Are you sure about that?" Sirius’s eyes glistened revealing how much he missed Alphard "I think he got tired of this family and ran away"

Regulus panicked. He knew his brother well. And he was capable of going after Alphard. Maybe, if it wasn't for Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, he would have already be gone. And Regulus didn't want to lose him. He didn't know what would happen if Pollux would lose his heir. But it wouldn't be good. Plus, Sirius was the only person that kept Regulus sane.

"If you leave, and Grandfather has a heart attack for your absence, this hell hole would be chaos. I don't want to be there when it happens"

Sirius twisted his mouth in a half smile "Good thing I'm bringing you with me when I leave"

"When? I thought it was a matter of if..."

"When, Reggie. When" Sirius winked.

They ended up their conversation as Sirius was summoned by their mother again. Sirius groaned openly as Walburga fixed his suit and tie.

"You look like low class lawyer, Sirius. I don't understand how people believe you can be a good heir. But hell, here we are"

"They say I take my gracious looks from you, mother"

Walburga answered by tying his tie tight. A little bit more and Sirius could choke.

"Now get over there and behave like a human being"

"Care to pay attention to your son on his birthday?"

Walburga flickered her eyes towards Regulus for a second. But fixed her penetrating gaze on Sirius.

"His birthday was days ago"

"But we are supposed to be celebrating today!"

Regulus could feel the tension building up between them. He didn't want to witness a fight. Those were horrible. And they were worse when they involved Orion.

Walburga just pursed her lips.

"Just go back in there before I lose my patience"

Sirius’s eyes were daring. He didn't move for a few seconds. Seconds in which Regulus thought he was going to lose it and do something dumb.

"Luckily we are not done with the celebration"

Sirius simply said that and gave a little wink to his brother. Then he walked away.

Walburga sighed with patience as she turned to Regulus. Now that Sirius was gone, she had a softer expression.

"Don't worry, love" she whispered in French only for him, squeezing his chin gently "I have your birthday cake ready for later"

"Thanks, mum" Regulus replied in French as well.

The rest of the evening passed in a numb blur. A feeling Regulus had been having lately. If you could call it a feeling at all. Usually, Regulus survived school with Barty. But summers were split into horrible social events of fake and superficial people and the constant fights of Orion and Walburga. Between each other. Or with Sirius. Regulus was drowned in a teenage angst. Youth didn't seem like the best years of his life. He wasn’t even excited to be sixteen.

"How much he is growing" people would say "He is as handsome as his father. Surely there are lots of girls after him... Maybe my niece would be interested. She lives in America"

"How skinny" another would say "Does he play any sports, Orion? It is good for young boys to be athletic. I was captain of my rugby team when I was his age"

"Oh, how adorable. He is shy, isn't he, Walburga? Not very suitable for businesses. Good thing you have Sirius"

"A handsome boy like him without a girlfriend? Maybe it is the piercings, son. See girls think that is weird. You don't want people thinking you're a puff, do you?"

These kind of comments made Regulus hate himself even more than he already did. He hated how shy he had sounded. How socially awkward he was. How he was seen as this baby, mummy's boy. While Sirius was natural with words, with presence, with the winning smile. Everyone wanted him for business, for recommendations, for making him their sons' model, their nephews'  friend, their nieces' and daughters' future husband. It was sickening. Sirius could be the best heir for the Company and the family name. He just didn't give a fuck about any of it.

Regulus locked himself in his room when everything became too much. He had a knot on his throat. He just wanted to crawl in bed and cry. He was ashamed of himself and what he was. He felt guilty for not being enough. For not being more. For not being the center of attention, not even in his fucking birthday.

Regulus sat on his bed and opened up his drawer. Inside it, Regulus kept a large pair of siccors he had stolen from somewhere.

Regulus had been the angsty teen that not only related with depressing songs about how society sucked and everything was hopeless, that had had his embarrassing emo phase at thirteen when he covered his face with a fang and used only black clothes; Regulus also had cut his own arm.

It was a secret no one knew. Not even Barty who wouldn't be scandalized by these things. It was recent. And Regulus did it a couple of times to feel something. To focus the mental pain into a physical one.

Regulus wanted to do it tonight.

Luckily, he was interrupted by a knock on his window that made him jump. Barty was smiling through the glass. He had a new piercing on his nose.

Regulus hid the scissors inside his drawer and ran to open the window for his friend.

"Happy Birthday!"

"Don't you know how to use the front door?"

Barty crawled inside.

"And face the pretentious wankers from downstairs? No, thank you!"

Regulus smiled "I'm glad you are here"

He didn't want to hurt himself anyway. He felt worse afterwards.

"I brought you a present. And you are going to love me for it" Barty grinned as he took out something from his back pocket.

A big bag of weed hanged from his fingers.

Regulus grinned "God, I love you"

They smoked for a while on Regulus's bed. Barty asked him about the party. Regulus said it was shit. Barty didn't ask no more. Regulus loved him for not pressuring him. They smoked in silence only with punk music in the background. Barty commenting on weird facts that Regulus didn't need to know. But it was nice to focus on something else.

A few hours later someone bursted through his door and Regulus almost had a heart attack hiding his spliff, thinking it was his mother. But Sirius was on the door with a grin on his face and a bottle of gin on his hand.

"Look what I got for ourselves, birthday boy!" he chanted.

"Oh fuck"

"Crouch, you're here"

"Black" Barty said as he let out some smoke.

"Is that weed?" Sirius asked with his eyebrows raised. "Nice! Let's begin with the actual celebration"

"What about our parents?"

Sirius shrugged "Let them have fun with their little orgie of rich old boomers"

Barty cracked up laughing at that.

Regulus started to have some fun with his two favorite people smoking weed and drinking gin with him. It was funny that Sirius and Barty were so similar but quarreled about everything.

Regulus loved them. They made Regulus happy and they made him feel young and alive for a while. They tried playing Monopoly until Sirius threw the board away because he was losing. They gossiped and laughed about people at school, including teachers.

"Okay, hottest girl in school to shag" Sirius said, "Go!"

To Sirius’s surprise, both Regulus and Barty were silent. They had always said Hogwarts girls were too stupid for them.

"Don't you want to shag someone?" Sirius asked

Regulus actually didn't.

"Come on! I know both of you are virgins"

"I am not a virgin!" Barty exclaimed but when Sirius gave him a look he added "Fine! I'd prefer cutting my dick off than shagging one of those brainless princesses"

That was why Barty was Regulus's best friend. They were too similar.

"Me too"

"Come on! There must be someone you find pretty, sexy, hot..." Sirius insisted. Of course he had a long history with girls.

Regulus and Barty stared at each other. This was often something boys didn't understand. How they weren't interested in any girl. The boys in their class used to tease them for it. Calling them fags and each other's boyfriends. Until they got sick of it and arranged to have a default answers. Sirius was the teasing type.

"Emmeline Vance" Barty said.

"Alice Fortescue" Regulus said almost immediately.

Regulus chose Alice because she was the prettiest girl in school. And she was unreachable since she was dating Longbottom. So people left him alone with his "crush". Barty chose Emmeline because everyone thought she was a lesbian and they found funny how Barty didn't have a chance with her. Actually, they didn't care about those girls.

Sirius had the same expected reaction as everyone else. Teasing both for their silly crushes. He even mentioned that Alice and Longbottom were on a break and that his little brother might have a chance.

"You know, I lost my virginity at sixteen" Sirius winked "And Fortescue looks like a good shag"

"Sure" Regulus said. He didn't care.

Sirius was drunk anyway.

"I love girls" Sirius added, his mind somewhere else "I mean I'm very into girls, eh Reggie? No one else.... It is just weird that he is in my mind, yeh know?"

"Who?" Regulus asked amused.

But Sirius didn't answer. He placed his head on Regulus's shoulder with his eyes closed.

"He's pissed" Regulus laughed, turning to look at Barty and finding out he was fast asleep next to him as well. Regulus smiled.

These two. They had made Regulus's birthday worth it somehow. Regulus hated everyone else. Except for these two boys next to him. They made life worth living.

Regulus fell asleep thinking that was the end of the day. However he was woken up hours later by Walburga and her angry expression.

"What is the meaning of this?" She asked as she held the empty bottle and the rest of the stash.

Regulus's heart started beating fast in fear. His mother didn't know how he had drunk, had had drugs and wasn't the innocent lamb she believed.

"Mrs. Black..." Barty cleared his throat as he spoke "Let me explain..."

"I want you out of my house, Bartemius" Walburga snapped "I will call your father in the morning"

Regulus gave Barty an apologetic look. Bartemius Senior was going to punish his son hard. Barty knew it. He looked scared already.

"Regulus?" Walburga was staring directly at him.

"It was me, Walburga" Sirius said next to him and Regulus remembered he was there "Stole the bottle, bought the weed and even called Crouch here to make things interesting. It was my baby brother's birthday after all"

Walburga clenched her jaw.

"Of course it was you" she said looking at Sirius with disgust.

To be fair, Regulus was frozen on the spot. It happened a lot to him when he got too stressed and frightened to react. He wanted to tell the truth but he couldn't.

"I keep insisting to your father and grandfather that you're nothing but a waist" Walburga commented to herself "You are a disappointment. Probably going to end up in rehab or jail..."

Sirius was still drunk with puffy red eyes from the weed. But still what their mother was saying was hurting him. She didn't even care that Barty was there.

"But dragging your little brother into this?" Walburga shook her head "You might want to drown but don't bring Regulus into this"

Sirius chuckled.

"Maman..." Regulus began talking in French. He wanted to tell her it was all his fault. But his voice shook.

"Perhaps I just wanted to give your son a bit of fun, mother. You know, like a man" Sirius’s voice proved the alcohol was speaking for him "Not like the pussy that you had made of him"

Regulus closed his eyes to avoid the tears to fall. He hated to be this weak. To be this fragil. Barty was right there.

"Get up, get a cold shower and compose yourself before your Grandfather leaves. He would want to see you" Walburga sighed with patience.

"I can do whatever I fucking want" Sirius replied drunk as a horse "Didn't you hear? I'm the heir and I will own everything you see around..." he smirked evily "That pisses you off, doesn't it? To think you will have to respond to me like the little bitch you are"

SLAP! Sirius’s little comment caused his such a strong slap across his face, that Walburga's ring cut his cheek and it began bleeding.

Barty gasped and covered his mouth. Regulus, who was used to it, just closed his eyes and nailed his fingers on his palm so hard that it hurt.

Sirius was shocked as he touched the blood on his cheek. Regulus saw it in his expression. He was done. He hated this woman. He hated this life. He hated it all.

Regulus knew he would leave with Alphard. Forever. Regulus knew he was practically one foot out.

"I guess I will make an excuse for your Grandfather" Walburga said as if nothing had happened "I want both of you sober by the time everyone leaves. Or else, your father won't have mercy"

She was right. Orion was ten times worse.

"Bartemius" she turned to him "Get out of here, before I lose my patience"

"Eh... Eh.. Yeah..."

That was the beginning of everything. The beginning of the end as some might say. It easily became the worst summer of Regulus's life.

The relationship between Sirius and Walburga became worse. Sirius’s rebelty was worse. He went to Orion to the office and came back with a terrible mood. Dinners became a battlefield. Until the point when Sirius couldn't take it no more. And he left.

"I can't do this, Regulus" Sirius told him between tears the night he packed his things "I cannot be with them anymore. I cannot become what they want. I can't become like them. This life sickens me..."

Regulus couldn't hold the tears falling down his cheeks silently because he couldn't ask his brother to stay. It wasn't fair. How could he if Regulus himself sometimes wanted to leave.

"Please come with me"

"Where? To the Potters? With Alphard?" he shook his head.

"Doesn't matter! Anywhere but here" Sirius took a step closer, begging desperately "Reg, we can disappear. We can ran away together. They won't have a power over us. I promise"

Some part of Regulus wanted to follow his brother anywhere. But another part of him knew that The Black Family would not lose the heir. If it wasn't Sirius, it would be Regulus. That was it. All eyes would turn to him. They would follow them to the end of the world to make sure one of them took the place.

But Sirius didn't see the details. How by being selfish, he could hurt other people. The Blacks were like a Jenga. If a key piece was taken out, the whole tower would fall down. And Sirius was one of the most important pieces.

"I can't, Sirius" Regulus cried "I'm sorry"

He wanted to beg him to stay and solve this together. They needed to fix Walburga with her drinking problems and childish behavior. They needed to stop Orion from committing fraud and doing everything he could to keep the power. They needed to find out why Alphard left. They were family after all. They couldn't just abandon everything.

"Okay... Suit yourself" Sirius snapped angrily as he grabbed his bag.

Regulus watched him go and he knew once Sirius crossed the door, he was going to lose him forever. And that hurt.