#this song is catchy and Harry looks so pretty sigh

[astranva]

TikTok Series | Anyway, so.

Word Count: 1.2k

Category: Fluff

Warning: Idk, language? Idk anymore but no heavy stuff it’s literally just TikTok content

Request: for your tik tok series i can imagine y/n and harry trending and harry would be like “what did you post now?” and it would actually be the fans this time. the “i’ve never seen two pretty best friends” with videos of them being like they are both pretty so that’s a lie. loving that series

** THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT! i hope you like it, and let me know what you think 🤍

// masterlist //

..

The numbers only went up with your TikTok; the views, the likes, the comments, and the followers.

What started as just you having fun during quarantine, ended with a verified account and demanding fans of your boyfriend asking you to take part in many challenges and pranks.

“y/n’s tiktok is basically just her cooking or pranking harry or dueting stans’ videos with a hood on and i love every second of it”

“tiktokers: doing stupid shit to gain money

y/n: anyway dudes, here’s how to make grilled cheese with no cheese for if you’re too broke to get any”

“when y/n duets thirsty tiktoks I just can’t help but think of how much I want a partner this chill”

“can anyone start any new couple challenge already? I want new harry & y/n content k thanks”

Fans were vocal about how much fun they had with your TikTok, some adding sentiments that made you emotional like;

“never thought I’d feel connected to anyone who’s with harry but here’s y/n replying to tiktok comments like we’re all a bunch of friends”

“I kid you not, the reason why I’m excited to eat at school is because I’m always excited to try y/n’s easy recipes and I just love her so much”

“not me meeting y/n, harry styles’ gf, at the grocery store today and greeting her like we grew up together bc that’s how I feel about her”

Along with laughing together at videos, you and Harry also seemed to always have a new catchy song to sing around the house ever since you first installed the app, with how it has helped artists’ music go viral. Hell, even funny songs would get stuck in your brains.

On your phone was proof of that. Standing behind an oblivious Harry as he cooked one day, he was in shorts and a tight top, flipping toast on the stove as he sang, “Chicken wing, chicken wing, hot dog and bologna, chicken and macaroni, chillin’ with my homies,” wiggling his butt as he did.

You hadn’t posted since the “How well do our brains work together” TikTok you posted with Harry, so when you saw yours and Harry’s ship name trending with 84.7 million views to it, you were confused to say the least.

Sitting beside Harry as he was on his laptop, you moved closer to lean against his side, his arm reflexively wrapping around you.

“We’re trending on TikTok.”

“Aren’t we always?” He smugly asked, looking at you.

“No,” you laughed, “Usually after I post something, yeah, but I haven’t posted in two weeks.” You said as you clicked on the hashtag, seeing pictures of you and Harry in many videos along with different faces with titles.

Clicking on a video with 6.3 million views, you and Harry watched as a girl filmed herself with the background music sounding and someone speaking through it, “I ain’t never seen two pretty best friend. It’s always one of ‘em gotta be ugly.”

The music then stopped, Nicki Minaj’s voicing being heard, “Ummm...Chile. Anyway, so,” before Noahplause’s song, Runnin’, came, and with it came pictures of you and Harry.

A picture of the both of you from Dunkirk’s premiere; Harry in his suit with his arm around your waist as he looked down at you with a smile. You in a dress that matched the color of his suit, one hand on his chest and another on his shoulder, smiling to the cameras.

A picture of you lying on the sand at the beach in your swimsuit with your eyes closed, Harry’s head resting on your stomach as he looked up at the camera with a neutral face, it being a picture from when he was filming the Watermelon Sugar music video.

A candid picture taken by paps of Harry standing behind you with his arms wrapped around you, his chin resting on your head as you stood in a park with a couple of friends.

A selfie you had posted to your Instagram story of you lying your head on Harry’s shoulder, him looking to the side, making his sharp jawline perfectly appear.

A picture of you and Harry kissing from one New Year’s party you attended; your hands on his cheeks, his tangled in your hair. It was a low-quality picture, but it still showed clearly that it was the both of you.

You and Harry were watching with amused expressions, laughing in surprise at the trend his fans seemed to start.

“This is so cute, what!” You laughed at the video, “Let’s watch another one and duet it.”

“What does that mean? What do we do?” Harry asked, looking at you.

“It means, I’ll choose to duet so when I post it, the two videos will be aligned together and we’ll watch that video as we record.” You explained, scrolling before pausing the next video and tapping on ‘Duet.’

“So, it’s like a reaction?”

“Exactly,” you nodded, “Ready?”

“Yes.” Harry grinned, turning his body slightly.

Your phone showed yours and Harry’s faces, both of you with small smiles before you made sure that the mic was opened and began recording, the video you were reacting to beginning to play.

It started with a ceiling as the man spoke his line. When it came to the guy saying “two pretty best friends”, Harry had mouthed along, gesturing between the both of you making you laugh.

Nicki then spoke, and in came Runnin’ with pictures of you and Harry.

First one was of just you smiling to the camera.

At this, Harry’s smile widened.

Second one was Harry smirking at one of his shows from 2018.

You hummed, nodding slowly.

Third one was of you with makeup, an eyebrow raised and a hand to your temple, posing for the camera.

“Insanely good.” Harry said slowly with a shake of his head, eyes fixed on the phone. You cooed, pouting at his comment.

Fourth one was of Harry smirking in the tulle-detail, off-shoulder trench coat from his Vogue photoshoot.

“This one, yes!” You exclaimed, causing Harry to laugh.

Fifth one was the same picture of the both of you from when he was shooting his Watermelon Sugar music video.

“I love this one so much.” Harry said before giving a genuine closed-lipped smile as he remembered the exact moment the picture was taken.

“Right?” You smiled.

Sixth one was a video of the both of you dancing, your arms around his neck, his hands holding your waist, as it showed the both of you grooving with Harry singing to you with a smile on his face.

“Shut up, I didn’t know this existed.” You gasped, Harry chuckling.

Seventh one was a picture taken by a friend of yours; your eyes were closed in childlike happiness, Harry sitting beside you and looking down at you with a dopey smile as one of his hands squished your cheeks.

“Hey, that’s my lockscreen!” Harry beamed, instantly holding his phone to yours, showing that the last picture was, in fact, his lockscreen so excitedly before the video ended.

Posting the video, you added a caption to it:

“we have the biggest smiles on our faces. you’re all so adorable thank you😭 (also 10/10 for calling us best friends)”

“We are best friends,” Harry said, letting out a sigh before dramatically wrapping both arms around you, giving you a squeeze, “Best of!”

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

MY TOP TEN SPAIN ENTRIES IN ESC (1961-1999)

hope you like it :)

10. VIVO CANTANDO [I LIVE SINGING] - SALOMÉ (1969, 1st PLACE)

desde que llegaste ya no vivo llorando / vivo cantando / vivo cantando

[since you came into my life i no longer live crying / i live singing / i live singing]

Here we have, the second and for now the last win of Spain in Eurovision, Vivo Cantando!! I like it, but not as much as other songs in the list, and imo it gets a bit repetitive in the end, so that's why it's number 10.

9. BAILEMOS UN VALS [LET'S DANCE A WALTZ] - JOSÉ VÉLEZ (1978, 10th PLACE)

voulez vous danser avec moi? / ¿quieres que bailemos un vals?

[do you want to dance with me? / may we dance a waltz?]

The chorus of this song fucks so much, it's super catchy and perfect to scream at the top of your longs, but the rest of the song is a bit average, that's why it's so low.

8. EN UN MUNDO NUEVO [IN A NEW WORLD] - KARINA (1971, 2nd PLACE)

tus sueños de siempre se harán realidad / en un mundo nuevo y feliz

[all your dreams will come true / in a new and happy world]

KARINA MY BELOVED 🥰🥰🥰🥰 No but right now she has this role of adorable grandma everybody knows in Spanish pop culture, she's the best. Maybe my love for Karina played a major part on the placement of this song. Maybe. But the song is nice as well, it's not bad at all! And she got a movie made of her ESC experience which I have yet to see (it's also called 'En un mundo nuevo', if you want to watch it)

7. BANDIDO [BANDIT] - AZÚCAR MORENO (1990, 5th PLACE)

tu ausencia en mis noches provoca lamentos / suspiros y llantos, y oscura pasión

[your absence in my nights conjures laments / sighs and cries, and a dark passion]

THEY INVENTED CAMP. No but this performance is everything, they're great and the song is a bop!!! I think we need more heavy (cante jondo) flamenco songs like this one with flamenco and especially roma artists like Azúcar Moreno to go to Eurovision (maybe not them tho, I loved that they were in the Benidorm Fest this year but you know...). Also that moment when the playback started playing wrong and they got mad and left the stage, iconique.

6. YO SOY AQUEL [I AM HE] - RAPHAEL [1966, 7th PLACE]

y estoy aquí, aquí para quererte / estoy aquí, aquí para adorarte / yo estoy aquí, para decirte / amor, amor, amor, amor

[and i'm here, here to love you / i'm here, here to adore you / i'm here, here to call you / love, love, love, love]

I still can't believe Raphael went to Eurovision. For comparision, it is like if Harry Styles represented the UK right now; absolutely insane behaviour. And the song is SOOO GOOD!!!! It is an excelent karaoke song, the chorus is super cathartic and the emotion is incredible. There was also a really iconic Trina commercial done with a parody of the song and it's *chefs kiss*, probably one of the best commercials ever done here. Also, Raphael's other song in Eurovision, Hablemos del Amor, is also pretty good, but I didn't want to have two of his songs in this top.

5. ERES TÚ [IT IS YOU] - MOCEDADES (1973, 2nd PLACE)

eres tú / como el agua de mi fuente / eres tú / el fuego de mi hogar

[it is you / like the water of my fountain / it is you / the fire of my hearth]

This song, man. It leaves this fuzzy feeling in my chest after listening to it, it's just incredibly wholesome and epic at the same time, I can't believe it didn't won cause it screams winning song. Also, of course, hearing it I'm reminded of the OT 2017 version of it, which also was pretty good I think (you thought I wouldn't talk about OT here, huh??? well you were so so wrong).

4. ESTANDO CONTIGO [BEING WITH YOU] - CONCHITA BAUTISTA (1961, 9th PLACE)

estando contigo, contigo, contigo / de pronto me siento feliz / y cuando te miro, te miro, te miro / me olvido del mundo y de mí

[being with you, with you, with you / suddenly i feel happy / and when i look at you, i look at you, i look at you / i forget about the world and about myself]

This was the first song Spain ever sent to Eurovision and oh my god we started with a banger!!!! Like it's so so good it's insane, it's a classic in Spanish pop culture and Conchita's performance was so so good!!! Incredible behaviour altogether. Also, this song is mostly known for being performed by child actor-turned-marxist and social activist legend Marisol and this gives me a perfect oportunity to plug the Marisol medley they did on OT 2020, which included fragments of this song, enjoy <3

3. LA, LA, LA - MASSIEL (1968, 1st PLACE)

todo en la vida es como una canción / te cantan cuando naces / y también en el adiós

[everything in life is like a song / they sing to you when you are born / and also in the goodbye]

The first win of Spain in ESC!!!!! This is one of those songs that may seem simple but then you actually listen to the lyrics (besides the la, la, las) and you start bawling your eyes off cause holy shit this deserved to win so much. It also justifies the presence of the la la las in the song which is insane!!! Anyways I love this song and I love Massiel and yeah, this right here was History of Spain <3

2. BAILAR PEGADOS [DANCING TOGETHER] - SERGIO DALMA (1991, 4th PLACE)

nuestra balada va a sonar / vamos a probar / probar el arte de volar

[our ballad is going to play / we are going to try / try the art of flying ]

Everytime this song plays I become a middle-aged woman screaming and crying and drooling after this man, I find myself guilty, I confess your honour. No but like when I was younger I was OBSESSED with this song. I definitely have cried listening to this song thinking about a crush, and I used to think this was the most romantic song in the world, even if it has the most cheesy and cringy verse ever 'bailar pegados es bailar / igual que baila el mar / con los delfines' [dancing together is dancing / just as the sea dances / with the dolphins] I still think it's a bop tho, an incredible song and performance altogether. Btw, Ruth Lorenzo covered this song in Benidorm Fest this year and yeah... I like it even more after that.

1. LA FIESTA TERMINÓ [THE PARTY IS OVER] - PALOMA SAN BASILIO (1985, 14th PLACE)

amor, perdón por lo de amor / me sale sin querer / tal vez porque te amaba / y ahora no, la fiesta terminó

[love, sorry for calling you love / i'm not doing it on purpose / maybe it's because i used to love you / and now i don't, the party is over]

This song makes me feel like very few songs do, I believe it's one of the best heartbreak songs ever, and of course it's excelent for karaoke. It's also therapeutic to sing it while crying, try it, I can say it works! So yeah, I just really love this song, it makes me feel lots of stuff and it's very very good :)

[balkanballad]

Eurovision 2021 ranking

hello, hello and welcome to my eurovision 2021 ranking. the songs are ranked with numbers but I also put them into categories (from 💐 to 🥀) and added a short comment. so, if you are interested in my personal opinion about the songs, have fun:

💐:

Switzerland: I was rooting for him last year and it’s the one returner in my top that didn’t disappoint me that much. what a start, huh? I love the song, I love the feeling it gives me when I listen to it, the clip is very pretty too. did I like his last entry better? yes, but I will say it already here at the very top of this list: I liked last year’s choices in general a lot more. nevertheless, this is a beautiful entry! and it is my personal winner this year

Australia: I loved her last song. It was there for me when I needed it. Technicolour does not touch me in that way but it is fun!! it’s catchy to me and I really like Montaigne. I adore her style and how she sings. I am excitingly looking forward to this performance :)

France: beautiful song, amazing singer, the national final performance was wonderful. however, I listened to it so much that back in March I already needed a break form it. now as I am finishing this it’s April and I can slowly listen to it again. it’s me though, it’s not her. that’s really a me problem. she’s wonderful and I love the French touch to this

Albania: a ballad from the Balkans <3 hello, of course I like it and I love that they kept it in Albanian this year. I heard similar songs before, but I like the sound of it still.and overall it’s a song that gives me familiar vibes in a cozy way with a bit of drama

Russia: interesting!! I was relived to see that Little Big didn’t return because, as I explained in my ranking for last year, I was not feeling them. absolutely nothing about them, but I love her! I think it’s catchy, it’s something different and I like the message she supports. it took me a few times to fully decide how I feel about the song, but now it’s in my top for sure 

Denmark: fun! a fun song in Danish. I really like the good mood it puts me in. I even see this in the context of the Umbrella Academy or Stranger Things or something like that when they go to Europe to party a bit. I also really enjoy the old school vibe this has to it. I miss that vibe. I’m also a bit old school

Cyprus: I absolutely do not relate to anything said in this song but it’s catchy! it is a bit fuego and a bit replay but I liked those entries as well, so yeah fire. I have not heard a single live performance by her but I am not exactly sure that vocals will be the aspect that she will try to win votes with anyway. I am amused by the fact that apparently people were offended by this song when it clearly makes no sense whatsoever. it’s simply a bop, move on and dance a bit

🌺:

(8.) Greece: fun as well! a ‘dream team’ entry for sure. I say this a bit sarcastically, but they do well a lot of the times and I am lured in by a lot of their entries myself. Kontopoulos is a big name in the esc industry, it’s a fact. the song is a bit more mature than Superg!rl, which I also listened to more often that I thought I would. It still reminds me of a theme song for a superhero show for kids and I am a bit worried that the ‘dReAM TeAm’ is a bit too outdated for Stefania because I think she could have done something cooler than both of those songs

(9.) Sweden: it took me a few times listening to this song, but I like the song now. I don’t think it’s too special and “a million voices” reminds me of Polina immediately because those are her words for me, but this is a good song too. I like how it makes me feel empowered and like everything will be okay. thank you for that, Tusse, I need that 

(10.) Israel: Eden deserved a better song. I like this song less than last year’s entry because I think it’s less interesting and I loved some instrumental parts from last year’s entry, but this is not bad either. I am rooting more for her than for the song, but I guess that’s this year’s motto for me. I also can’t say that I love the revamp because it made it sound even more generic for me  

(11.) Belgium: I saw the promo pics for them and was very confused how different the singer looks this year, but it turns out that it’s not the same woman. I like this entry a lot better. I like her voice and I really like the vibe. It sounds a bit like it could play in the background of a classic American tv show when a character is going a bit through it and pouring a drink while it’s dark outside. I have the same problem that I mentioned already while talking about the French entry, but that’s still a me problem. I just need a break

(12.) Ireland: this entry is a lot less annoying to me than the song that she had last year. I like the lyrics and whole aesthetic of this one a lot more. it’s another one that I can’t listen to too often, but I still think it’s a very good choice imo

(13.) The Netherlands: Jeangu!! I think he for example will give a wonderful vocal performance. Growth felt way more personal to me, but that’s a repeating motive this year and also a me problem because obviously this is his song and he does it well

🌻:

(14.) San Marino: I’m still confused by this feature and I can’t really say that I’m ‘living’ for it, but I already made a post about how I don’t think she needed Flo Rida. minus the feature it’s a catchy party song, but it reminds me of one song that I simply can’t remember anymore. something that I heard from the Greek music industry, maybe even Eleni, if you know which one I mean, pls let me know

(15.) Estonia: just like last year: this song doesn’t make much sense and I don’t want to, but I still catch myself listening to it frequently... I am sorry, I can’t help it, but it puts me in a eurovision mood and yes, I am blaming Kontopoulos again. I am a weak person when it comes to his melodies

(16.) Ukraine: first I had it lower in my ranking, but I like SHUM better now and I like it a lot more now than last years entry. I really like the part when it gets faster, that’s really fun and makes me want to jump! jump! jump!

(17.) Spain: it’s a lot less repetitive than the last entry, but I would be lying if I said that I listen to this very often. it’s alright, not bad at all actually, but I just wasn’t in the mood for this (yet?)

(18.) Romania: this is for me still the same type of style as Bulgaria. European Billie Eilish type. last year I ranked her higher than Bulgaria as well, but they are pretty much the same to me. I can’t comment on whether I like her song less or more this year. it’s not bad either but I simply don’t think about it much

(19.) Bulgaria: I think I like this entry better than her last one. the message is cute, the melody too and yeah, but I don’t care about it too much

🌼:

(20.) Croatia: it’s a faster pop song without a real meaning. ground-breaking. the title makes me think of Ukraine 2014. which I like better, but we’ll see, maybe the performance will have something cool too. I will say though, I would have prefered the whole song to be in Croatian, it doesn’t make it much deeper, but I like that part the most

(21.) Malta: another faster pop song. I think she will give an amazing vocal performance and it will be cool and powerful, but the message and lyrics are a bit confusing to me. I am not the lyrics police, but I am confused by them a bit

(22.) Iceland: I think I like it better than last year’s song, but it’s still not LOVE that I feel for the song. I can listen to it though

(23.) Lithuania: it’s there. I am not a fan of them and it’s not a song I love too much, but I can listen to it

(24.) North Macedonia: sigh. I liked last year’s entry a lot and Vasil seems like someone who cares a lot about the contest, but I don’t feel this ballad. I think I know what they were going for and what it’s trying to be, dramatic and meaningful, but I don’t feel it that much. it’s okay? but it doesn’t do much for me

(25.) Czech Republic: this was a surprise because I think the overall quality of his entry got a lot better, this time though I have the problem that I do not like the lyrics. they don’t make me as uncomfortable as Germany last year but they are in that area of uhm, I don’t love the feeling this gives me

(26.) UK: hm :/ I can’t say that I’m a fan. this sounds like the type of song that the boring straight men in my area put in their tinder bio as their song, but it’s every third guy that says this is his song. those Calvin Harris remix type-ish songs and I am sooo bored. I swipe left because it’s no match, I delete tinder. breath was a lot more my thing and a lot more exciting and interesting

(27.) Poland: as soon as this stops, the exact same second, I forget everything about it. I don’t remember a single word, barely the title and singer and not the melody. what is this about? I can’t tell you. it’s not exactly bad, but it is so forgettable

(28.) Moldova: oh faster pop song? wow.. so.. original. I am starting to sound like those weird people that hate ballads. I don’t feel it and I don’t relate to it, but I also don’t hate it. the video though.. no thanks.

(29.) Italy: as so often: I see a lot of Italy fans on here and I can’t relate. it’s not for me, but it’s there and I can listen to it when I can’t reach the skip button for some reason

(30.) Austria: hm. Austria and Slovenia are going there. this is the better Amen song for me, but I don’t love it. it’s better than what Ana is trying to sell even though it’s super repetitive

🥀:

(31.) Serbia: I can’t tell you if it’s worse than last year but it’s less catchy. the lyrics are still bad. actually, maybe I am the lyrics police

(32.) Finland: this not my genre and I don’t really listen to it

(33.) Slovenia: nop. not for me in any way. I already said last year that I don’t like her voice and it didn’t change but now I also don’t love the message or weird vibe of this entry. I had it even lower, but I can’t push it up more. this is as high as I can rank it

(34.) Norway: I don’t like it. I don’t like the lyrics or melody or performance that was in the nf actually. I have a hard time understanding the concept even with the explanation it makes no sense to me

(35.) Portugal: I don’t like it. a lot of the parts of the melody are really not for me and borderline annoying, but definitely boring

(36.) Georgia: it’s boring. the last entry was at least something interesting, but this one is boring, which makes me a bit sad because his voice sounds and he seems like the guy that could make something cooler. I know I am not the person that can judge rock because I don’t listen to it too much, but I feel like he could have done something cooler and ‘rock’ it more

(37.) Latvia: again: I can’t even say if it’s worse or better than last year. maybe a bit better actually but, just as last time, I can’t listen to this. it annoys me and gives me a bit of a headache. I don’t think her style and voice is for me

(38.) Germany: I wouldn’t necessarily call it hate that I feel when I have to listen to this, even though that’s a funny play with the words of this title, but I definitely feel very annoyed by this song, so I simply don’t listen to it

(39.) Azerbaijan: the song sounds just like the last one, which I had placed on the 14. place in my own 2020 ranking, however, I can’t bring myself to support someone who posts war propaganda on their socials. it’s eurovision and about the songs, I know, but this is my blog and my ranking. so it’s a no for me this time and my last place in this ranking

[niall-the-churchboy]

Just Like Family pt 4 ~ Harry Styles

In which she’s avoiding him

Warnings: none :)

Word Count: 3.2k

A/n: Yay! Surprised you all didn't I? Well, honestly surprised myself too. Anyway, this is the last part to ‘Just Like Family’, even though I took my fair time I enjoyed writing this so much! From the bottom of my heart, thank you all and happy reading!

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 

----------------------

Y/n was completely shattered, her posture was slumped and her eyes were lost, her walking seemed vague and everything felt tasteless. Her heart swelled with pain and she no longer felt like reading or being her usual self. 

Y/n was heartbroken to say the least.

Not only did she felt so much pain, but deep down she knew she was a moron and this was her price to pay. Once again, Y/n had let her fantasies get to her head, ideas of what-ifs and scenes taken from the many books and movies she had read and watched. The truth is, reality sucked. A hell lot. 

How could she lie to herself so much? Dear God, how could she have believed that? No way in earth would Harry freaking Styles want to be her boyfriend-- her friend even -- but she had had reused to think otherwise and here she was. 

At the end of the day, everything was as clear as water. Olympic Gods like Harry are meant to date Olympic Goddess like Sofia.

Sofia. 

No matter how hard Y/n tried, her name would never sound hateful to Y/n. Besides, it was not Sofia’s fault Y/n had this nerve-wreaking crush on a boy for more than two years. But it would have been so much easier if Y/n hated her, blamed Sofia for her own stupidity and tried to move on. 

Now, that seemed impossible. It was like every turned she made Harry was there waiting for her, to talk or ask her if she was fine. Y/n tried her best to avoid him, avoid the look on his eyes -- amazed and so in-love -- as he looked at Sofia, they fingers intertwined. Every little step Y/n made further, would take a single glance at them to push her two steps behind. 

Three weeks since Harry and Sofia got back together and Y/n felt more broken than ever. 

“Hey, Y/n?” Tracy waved her hand in-front of Y/n trying to gain her friend’s attention. She placed her fork back down and sighed, “Y/n, when are you going to be okay?”

Y/n felt guilt rushing through her veins, the sadness in Tracy’s eyes was so genuine she almost forgot about Harry for a second. Almost. Then he came rushing back in and Y/n could see herself hiding further behind her lunchbox. 

“I’m trying Tracy...” Y/n’s sight was lost between the head of students. “It’s just harder than I thought” She was lying, Y/n wasn’t trying at all, she had given up two heartbreaks ago. She glanced back at Tracy, her friend was looking at her helplessly, Tracy’s eyes eyed her up and down as if she was trying to figure something out. 

“I know, Y/n. I just wish you could see...”, Tracy turn her head around and allowed herself a small glimpse towards the table full of boys, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea, and you are such a pretty girl. It wouldn't be a surprise if a couple of boys liked you”. 

Was she really pretty? Not like Sofia, at least. 

Y/n sighed trying to clear her mind from those negative thoughts that would only ever bring her down, it was just that it was getting harder to get away from those thoughts when it seemed like it was the only thing she could think of. “I know, but... they are not like Harry.”

And it was true. They were not like Harry and they would never be. Harry could simply walk by and take her breath away, literally. He mesmerised her in every way possible, making her get lost in seas of green and memorising the way that rebel curl would differ itself from the other locks. The way his smiled shined and how the only sound she wanted to hear in repeat was his rough laugh. 

Tracy wished she could understand her, she supported Y/n at least, but it was so difficult for Tracy to comprehend how someone could have such a strong crush. She knew Y/n wasn't lying, it was obvious by the way her friend’s cheeks would redden and how she stumbled on her words as she tried to express herself to Harry. But Tracy couldn’t believe how a feeling could be so intense, no boy had ever made Y/n feel this way. 

Y/n was lost in Harry Styles’ spell and it seemed like she wasn’t going to get better anytime soon. 

-----------------------

Y/n L/n, Y/n, L/n, Y/n L/n... Y/N L/N!

Harry couldn't get her out of his mind, she was like a catchy song that would keep on playing on repeat until it became so tedious he had to find another one to fill in. The thing is, Sofia didn't seem to be doing the job just right. 

Everything, somehow, had its way to connecting him back to Y/n, it wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't avoiding him. It started to seem as if the were playing cat and mice, and Y/n was a pretty good mice. 

What had he done?

He asked himself the same question over and over. Harry knew he had done something wrong, he could see it in the way her eyes would get lost with pain, how she walked with no direction in particular, her back hunched down and her shoulders fallen. 

Harry began thinking some girls were messing with her? He had noticed the way Y/n would look at her feet as soon as Sofia’s group passed by. If that was the case he would have a long talk with Sofia. 

Regardless of what it was, something was bothering Y/n, and that seemed to bother him too. He had noticed this pattern a few weeks ago, somehow it was as if his and Y/n’s emotions were in some way connected. Y/n would feel angry, Harry would feel angry; Y/n felt happy, Harry felt happy; Y/n was confused, Harry was confused.

That’s probably the reason Harry was certain Y/n was feeling an enormous amount of pain. Because he was too. His chest felt empty and his stomach bloated, his mindset was completely lost and out of control and there was a certain swelling in his heart that would make his eyes prick annoyingly. 

Whatever was going on, he had to fix it as soon as posible. For both their sakes. 

---------------------

They were terrible terrible news. 

How on earth was Y/n going to survive a second dinner with Harry by her side? She had barely survived last one and they weren't even friends, now, she was actually avoiding him and his weird questioning look. There was no way she was going to get away this time. 

No way. 

That’s what scared her, she barely had enough strength in herself to keep avoiding Harry. Oh god, how many times had she desired to run back to Harry’s opened arms. She knew well enough that the second she came back to him, Harry would be pleased as ever to have his friend back, maybe she wouldn't have to answer any questions and he would let himself live with the doubt of what had her distanced so much from him. 

It seemed easier in a way. But she couldn't keep hurting herself in this absurd way, because at the end of the day, what did she win? Maybe third-wheeling with Harry and Sofia? That sounded awfully fun. 

She had finally settled her mind in getting over her stupid crush on Harry, and her mother had come to ruin her plan. 

With everything going around, Y/n had almost forgotten about the fact that her brother was dating Harry’s sister. That seemed to be the key problem that prevented her from achieving her goal. Well, that and the significant pair of green eyes. 

Her hands were sweaty, extremely sweaty, she kept rubbing them on her jeans as she looked at herself in the mirror. Y/n didn't feel pretty. In fact, she felt awkward --her back hunched down, a rebellious straw of hair standing out and a smile that felt way too tight and fake. She thought that maybe she could come up with an excuse, say that Tracy needed her help or that an emergency had come up and avoid the night altogether. 

But it was too late, and besides, when had she become so self-concerned?

“Y/n!”, her mom called, “the Styles are here! Come down, honey!”

That was her cue, and oh god how much had she wished it wasn’t. 

“There she is!”, Y/n could barely hear anything as she descended, the stairs felt like they were moving and her grip on the railing was definitely not a soft one. She kept feeling her heart throbbing on her throat and an intense panic. 

“Oh, look how beautiful you are!” she finally raised her head to catch Anne wrapping her tight in a warm hug, standing to the side both Gemma and Mason watched Y/n with a pleasant smile. 

“Mom, let Y/n breathe, you are going to suffocate her”, it was funny how his voice would probably be the reason for Y/n’s suffocation given that her breathing seemed to stop every time he’s near. 

“Oh, Harry, dear” Anne gave Y/n a final squeeze before setting her free, “you know how I am.” Everyone but Y/n laughed at this and soon enough Harry was approaching her too. 

“Hello”, he said with probably the warmest of smiles as he leaned in to give her a quick hug, “how are you?”

“Great”, Y/n answered as they parted. The strange thing of it all was that it was the longest conversation they’ve had in weeks, well, of course it was given that Y/n’s had been avoiding Harry like a pro. 

“Dinner is ready!”, Y/n’s father called followed by Robin as he held a big plate full of pasta. Chairs and plates were moved and soon enough everyone had sat down, Y/n had been oh so deeply blessed to have Harry right in front of her. Great. Now there was no way she could avoid interaction. 

Fortunately, most of the dinner was focused on political matters, jobs and the two oldest children. Y/n’s dad had done a great job with the pasta, it was soft yet not overcooked, the salsa had just the right amount of spice, and a spoonful of pasta was enough to warm Y/n’s insides. She though that maybe, she could keep her head hung low and focus on eating. 

Y/n wasn't oblivious to the fact that Harry’s eyes were stuck on her, what was he even doing? Examining her every move? The thought did break a sweat on her back neck. 

“Y/n? How about you?”, suddenly every pair of eyes was on her and she felt like breaking into a run and completely dipping dinner. Anne was talking to her, what about? That, she didn't know. 

She gulped down the pasta and cleaned her mouth with her fist, “hmm?”

Anne laughed kind-heartedly, “I asked you if you had a boyfriend?” That took Y/n completely by surprise, so much she coughed a few times as if trying to realise if Anne was in any sort of way joking. 

Everyone looked at her expectantly. 

 She inhaled a huge lump of air. Where they for real, now? She tried to remember when did the once calm conversation took that unexpected turn. No way in hell was she answering that in front of everyone, in front of Harry. Oh how awkward! 

Of course Harry already knew the answer. Y/n was as single as anybody could be. After all, who would want to date someone like her? Harry would most definitely not want to.

“I– em–”, she brought her hand to her throat that still hurled from the recent cough, “a boyfriend?”

That sent everyone into a fist of laughter. How dare they make fun of her? Y/n felt humiliated and dumb, ugly even. Everything was turning out so wrong, just like she predicted. How dare they make fun of her when she was the one who didn’t want to be here in the first place? She felt tears prickling her eyes. 

“I’ll take that as a no”, Anne finally said, “I’m glad Harry isn’t the only one, then”

This made Y/n frown. Harry was not single. He was dating Sofia. Everyone knew that, they were together everywhere, held hands in the hallways, whispered things in each other’s ears, made out in classrooms. 

Y/n had tried not to pay attention to it, but it was almost impossible given that it was the only thing the school could talk about. 

How was Anne not aware of such thing? It was wrong, Y/n knew it was wrong, but it boiled her blood and raged her body. How had Harry not said anything? She had to suffer watching them everyday and he didn't even dare to tell his mother. 

Y/n knew it wasn't her place, but it would feel good. Just a little bit of revenge. 

“But Anne...”, she sounded confused, the right touch of innocence, “Harry is dating Sofia. They got back together weeks ago.”

Oh, how the tables had turned. Everyone was silent. Anne looked at her son confused, unsure as to why he would keep that a secret from her. And Y/n’s mother watched her daughter with uncertainty, why would she say that?

But Y/n didn’t feel bad at all, they all had mocked her, laughed at her and her absurdness. Why was it so wrong to fight back? 

And then she looked at him. His eyes were fixed on her, a prominent frown on his face and a sad glow on his green eyes. Harry looked at her, up and down, trying to figure why in the world would she betray him. And that was enough to break something inside Y/n’s chest.

 But it wasn't her heart. This time it was her pride and her morals that knew what was right and what was wrong. 

And what she had done was completely wrong and out of place.

She had overstepped her boundaries and by doing so she had hurt someone she cared about. Someone she loved. And there weren't enough words to describe how much to pained her. 

“Harry?”, Anne asked in a whisper. 

It was all too much, too much for Y/n to handle and she could feel her cool crumbling down. 

“I-”, Harry looked at his mother and then turned back to Y/n, “Why?”

Why? 

Why had she said that? Why did she have to be so jealous and angry? Why did she have to love Harry? Why did it have to hurt so much?

Y/n once heard that love makes one blind. Right now, she could confirmed it. 

“I... don’t know”, a single tear rolled down her cheek, “I’m sorry”

In a moment Y/n had stood up and hurried away from the table, a slam echoing through the house as she ran away. 

-----------------------------

Y/n was cold, her hands rubbing her bare arms due to the fact that in the hurry she hadn’t been able to grab a coat. It was dark, and single cars passed every minute or so through the otherwise empty street. 

Now, long gone from the heat of the moment, she felt stupid. Everything. The way she acted, how she reacted, and the fact that she had runaway. 

How embarrassing. 

How was she able to go back to school on Monday? Go back home, even? There was no way. No way at all. She could take in the cold and stay here on the bench forever. 

“Y/n?”

Y/n’s heart completely stopped for what felt like the third time in the night. No no no. She didn't need Harry right now, in fact, she needed to stay as far from him as possible.

Yet, why did it feel so right when she was near him? So mind-numbing? His eyes, his tugged smile, everything about him made Y/n want to open her arms and throw herself towards him. 

Y/n looked up at him, remained quiet, and looked back down embracing her legs with both her arms as she rested her head on her knees. Harry watched her for a while, taking in the way she glowed with the light of the moon and the tear-stained cheeks, then, he walked towards her and sat in silence next to her. 

The silence was comforting. 

Even though both of them where well aware that there were many things to be talked and explained, they remained in silence, absorbing their surrounding and silently enjoying the peacefulness of each other’s company. 

A fresh breeze touched their skins and Y/n gritted her teeth. Without second thought, Harry took off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. His scent was reassuring, a hint of roses and rusty smoke. She wanted to remember it forever, engrave it on her mind for when he’s long gone and only her dreams keep her awake. 

Surprisingly so, Y/n was the first one to talk.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice came out raspy yet with her usual softness. She looked at Harry straight in the eye, catching the way his green orbits moved from side to side examining every inch of her face. 

He shook his head with a faint smile, “forget about it, Y/n. Everything's okay.” She nodded, and a faded gasp falling from her lips when Harry intertwined his fingers with her. They were warm, his hold gentle and in a strange way soothing.

“Y/n, me and Sofia aren’t dating. I know we were back together for sometime, but we weren't working, mostly because I lost interest on her a long time ago.” Y/n didn't know why, but it didn't surprise her at all, or concern her for the matter. It was simply okay.

Slowly, their surrounding began to blur away, and in a moment they were all alone. Two lonely hearts staring at one another. 

“May I ask, why did you tell my mother?”, Harry’s hot breath reached Y/n’s lips. She breathed in, suddenly realising how close they both were, their noses barely inches apart. 

“Because I love you. And that makes me selfish.” 

The words rolled through her tongue without warning whatsoever, and before she could retract herself, Harry caught her lips. 

His thumb rubbed her tinted cheeks and Y/n could feel herself loosing her mind slowly. The kiss was so much more than she had ever imagined. It was snug and warm, their soft lips against one another as it magically started heating their insides until the only remnant of the cold where the tips of their noses. The feeling was so incredibly heart fluttering, it made Y/n stomach twist and turn with excitement. 

She let her hands roam through his hair, hooking her fingers on one of his curls and tug it softly. That made Harry react with a low moan, bringing Y/n closer until their noses brushed against each other. 

When they finally pulled apart and Harry rested his forehead on hers, she smiled, a bright full smile that Harry hadn't seen in so long.

“I’m glad mom made me attend dinner”, Y/n said. 

“I’m glad our siblings started dating.”

Y/n nodded, leaving one last tender kiss on his lips. After all, Y/n L/n and Harry Styles were just like family. 

------------------

Okay, that’s it, I finished just as I promised, I hope you all enjoyed this mini series as much as I did. Love you all!

masterlist is here

[madamewriterofwrongs]

May and the Rainbow Kingdom

911/Buck & May

Written for @cirrius-akiyo who wanted a Buck & May friendship.

The station was unusually quiet when she walked through the front door. The trucks were still in their place, being polished and restocked by other crew members – most of whom paid her no mind or recognized her as the ‘captain’s kid’. She’d only been called that once, but she remembered the uneasy feeling and the sneer of the probationary officer’s voice. A well-practiced eyebrow raised, and her best customer service smile, ensured he never bothered her again.

Today she wasn’t here as the ‘captain’s kid’, she was here as a friend in need of help from another – older and wiser – friend. A glance at the ambulance missing from its usual station dampened her expectations slightly.

“Hey, May.” She looked up to see a familiar face waving at her from the loft and she jogged to meet him.

“Hey, Buck. I was hoping to talk to Hen, is she around?”

The blond-haired firefighter returned to his task of tidying the upper floor (the table smelt comfortingly of bleach and lemon so he was nearly done) while she knelt on the couch to watch him work.

“Sorry; she just left on a call with Chim and Bobby. Is there anything I can help you with?”

She tried to keep the dejected sigh from her voice. “How versed are you on Bioethics of Non-Existence?”

It was almost comical, the way Buck paused in his sweeping to take in her question. “I definitely recognize some of those words.”

As she suspected; May turned to collapse onto the couch with a groan. “I really needed to talk to Hen.” Not that she didn’t trust the other adults in her life – Maddie had tried to help, but she’d been out of Medicine for too long – Hen was her last hope.

“School going that well, huh?” She didn’t have to look to hear the amusement in the man’s voice.

“It’s actually pretty good.” She admitted, still slumped half-off the couch. “I just have mt midterm on Friday and I really need someone who can test me on this stuff.”

“I’m sure you’ve got a handle on it. You were always a smart kid.”

May did smile at that. It was easier to accept being called a child from someone who actually knew her as a child. Granted, she and Buck weren’t overly close, but he was always nice to her, and Bobby seemed fond of him.

“I’ve studied this stuff over and over but I just don’t feel ready” she admitted to the ceiling. Maybe Buck should clean those rafters (he was certainly tall enough). Better yet, maybe she could do it. “I either need a distraction or another month of review.”

Maybe if she hid out at the station, she could lie to her professor and say she had a medical emergency. Or maybe, she could convince him to let her take her exam tomorrow and put her out of her misery. She hated the waiting game. The more she reviewed the material, the less secure she felt in her knowledge. It just needed to be over and done with so she could start stressing about the next thing. Her English essay was due next week. It could use a third rewrite.

“I don’t know about the review.” Visions of Buck peering over top of her, pulled May out of her spiral. “But if you’re in need of a distraction, I could use a co-babysitter tonight. I’m watching Christopher while Eddie’s out on a date and I’m sure he’d love to hang out with you.”

An evening spent with her stepdad’s friend, and her stepdad’s other friend’s son was not exactly what she had in mind for a Monday night, but it was better than nothing. Besides, she liked Christopher well enough; he was a cute kid with a sensible head on his shoulders. And Buck was nice – if a little bit accident-prone for the amount of times she’d visited him in the hospital – plus it was an excuse to get out of her routine for a few hours. Maybe she could come early and ask Eddie some questions (an army medic had to have some thoughts on ethics in medicine, right?).

“Sure,” she smiled up at him. “why not?”

Which was how May found herself squished between a surprisingly calm 10-year-old, and an overly-energetic 29-year-old, splitting the difference as she scrolled through their Netflix Kids’ queue.

Christopher had insisted that they didn’t need to use the kid’s channel as he was absolutely old enough to handle all the scary movies. She remembered Harry, not too long ago, with the same attitude (along with the same nightmare he’d had for weeks about a clown in a sewer). While Buck didn’t have the same experience, he was with her decision to stick to the lighter stuff for tonight. Perhaps he was being overly cautious as he always was with the boy.

Everyone in their circle knew about how Buck had saved Christopher during the tsunami and how close the three of them had become afterwards. It was no wonder he wanted to do everything in his power to protect him – even from the CGI monsters.

As they continued to scroll, she paused on their ‘Continue Watching’ bar, to see if there was anything they wanted pick up. She wasn���t about to watch whatever they chose for their post-dinner treat; she had her textbook and laptop in her bag all charged up.

Just as she was about to continue the search for the perfect movie, her eye caught one of the titles with a half-full red bar and shot a confused glance to Buck. The man kept his eyes purposefully trained on the screen, eyes darting to hers once, as a sign that he knew what she was looking at. Still, he showed no sign of explaining himself so she moved on. For now.

They ended up settling on one of the dinosaur documentary movies, but May kept her promise to herself and reviewed through the entire 90-minute event. It was easy enough to tune out, the graphics were fine, the story was predictable, but at least the boys on either side seemed to be enjoying themselves. Every once in a while, Buck would elbow her to pull her attention back to the screen but it never held her interest for more than a few minutes. Then Christopher would do the same, asking her questions or feeding her facts about the various dinosaurs. That did help for a little while, but even that kid’s endless enthusiasm couldn’t keep back the voice in her head that told her she should be studying.

As far distractions went, this night seemed to be a bust.

When she heard the water run in the bathroom, signally the beginning of Christopher’s bedtime routine, May found herself reaching for the remote once again; if only to keep her hands occupied while she waited to say goodbye to Buck. The least she could do was thank him for his attempt to distract her – even if it had failed.

That was when she found the ‘Continue Watching’ bar once again, and her curiosity got the better of her.

“What’s True and the Rainbow Kingdom?” she asked once her companion had returned. “’Cause it doesn’t seem like something Christopher would be into.”

Buck huffed as he flopped on the couch next to her. “Okay,” he began his confession by raising his hands in surrender. “I watched an episode to see if it was something that’d be appropriate for Nia, but I kind of started watching it on my own.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really” he matched her mocking tone. “Not all the time. But I’ll admit, when I’m having a bad day, it’s nice to turn my brain off with some mindless fun.”

She wasn’t laughing at him – maybe she was, but she wouldn’t tell him that – it was that the image of this grown man, sitting at home, watching what was clearly a Sophia the First carbon copy (if the design was to be believed), was very amusing to her.

“Wow, I see how it is.” Buck lightly pushed May as she shuffled over to create more space. “I try and help and instead you mock me. Very nice.”

Even as a joke, she saw his point and the laughter turned into a smile, which morphed into an eyeroll.

“You’ve got to admit, this doesn’t exactly fit your image.”

“I have no image” he protested. “I’m allowed to like whatever I like.”

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I text my mom that” she had barely begun picking up her phone from the coffee table, when he reached the device first.

“Don’t you dare.” More laughter did make her heart feel a little lighter.

He only handed her phone back once she’d half-heartedly agreed not to text her mom this fresh blackmail material. “I bet you’d like it. It’s about a girl and a cat, and she gets these wishes from a tree, and she uses them to help others.”

“The cat gets wishes?”

“Just” Buck rolled his eyes, grabbing the remote from the cushion between them. “we’re going to watch it right now.”

Without waiting for her response, Buck tapped the first episode and shushed her failed attempt to protest.

The first scene introduced a reasonably catchy theme song with bright colours, along with the main character True and her talking black cat named Bartleby. There was something about a party and a bitchy princess and a weird walking pill they called…something Banjo? Admittedly, when the cat said something sarcastic towards the girls, she cracked a smile, but her mind was still reviewing the differences between Potter’s and Callahan’s philosophies.

The next time she tuned back into the episode, they were sitting on mushroom stools under a tree, attempting to solve a problem as a group. When they took a deep breath, May found herself exhaling with them, and her forehead ached from holding tension for so long. Admittedly, it felt nice to relax her shoulders.

Okay, so this was clearly a kids’ show and nothing else. Mining wishes from a tree and using a book to decipher what all the wishes could do, as though they were Pokémon characters.  It was ridiculous, why was she still watching this? She needed to get home to study.  

“Sure, they get to use the ‘wishopedia’ but my professor won’t let me use Wikipedia as a starting source?” she grumbled under her breath.

“What was that?” She startled when Buck smirked at her.

May tucked back into the arm of the couch with a half-hearted glare. “Nothing.”

She really should be reviewing. The more time she wasted outside of the classroom, the worse her chances of success. She shouldn’t be wasting her time watching this kids’ monstrosity. This really was a stupid show. Why would True forgive Grizelda after she was such a bitch to Bingo-Bango? She was always so positive and patient. And she only used her special powers to help people. That was pretty nice.

That theme song was pretty catchy.

Before she knew it, she was four episodes in, watching two mushroom people win a motor race after everyone got detoured by falling crystals and Grizelda being a bitch (again).

“She should just toss the Cu-Bigly over the cliff and then throw Grizelda.” At Buck’s look of amused indignation, she shrugged. “What? She deserves it for sabotaging the race. It’s not like she’d die from that height.”

A quick glance at her phone told her it was after ten and she had a class in the morning. What astonished her most, was that she hadn’t thought about her course work in an hour. For the first time since starting university, she’d let herself escape her thoughts just for a little while; and honestly, she felt lighter for it.

Still unbelievably guilty for not spending every waking moment of her life preparing for her next test or assignment – but just a little bit lighter.

“Hey, Buck?” She turned to the man barely hiding the fact that he’d begun to doze off. May smirked when he awoke with a snort. “Thanks for your help, I really needed this.”

For a moment, she saw the ‘puppy dog’ that her mom liked to call him: the puffed chest and kind smile and excited eyes. She saw what won over her, somewhat cynical, mother; it made her smile brighter.

“Glad I could help.”

Buck was scrolling mindlessly through his phone two weeks later, when it buzzed with a new text notification, and his mood instantly improved.

87%

Also I may have finished the first season of TatRK

I totally ship True and Zee

Do you want me to wait for you to catch up?

“Hey, May passed her Bioethics Mid-Term” he announced to his friends sitting in the loft; the rest, he would keep as his own reward for a job well done.

Bobby looked up from his usual place in the kitchen, buttering a pan for some dish most of them wouldn’t get to eat. “Since when did May start telling you about her exam results?”

There was no honest answer that wouldn’t make him feel embarrassed, but Buck blushed regardless. “I, uh, helped her study.”

Eddie slapped his shoulder jovially as he passed on his way to grab a bottle of water. “Is there something you want to tell us? You have a secret Bioethics degree?”

Buck brushed him off with a smile. “No, but you do what you can to help out family, right?”

His eyes met with his Captain’s and there was a fondness he only saw with May and Harry. Something he hadn’t seen for himself in a long while.

“Yeah, kid, you do.”

[taste-in-music]

taste-in-music’s top 30 songs of 2020

Hey everyone! If you missed it, you can check out my year end wrap-up post going over my favorite albums and EPs of the year. This list will go over my favorite songs of 2020, whether they happen to be on those projects or not. My only limit is one song per project, and thirty songs total. Now then, let’s get started! 

First Aid by Gus Dapperton: There is one easy way to get me to love a song, and that’s if an artist adds in another person’s vocals for the bridge and final chorus, hence infusing them with more dimension and meaning. “First Aid” is the best usage of that device all year. The song tackles Dapperton’s struggles with mental health, citing his sister as a large help in the midst of it all. Who best to come in for the bridge and final chorus, then, but his sister (who goes by the stage name Amadelle)? It all comes together to make the final act of the song hit like a gut punch. 

Josslyn by Olivia O’Brien: Every year I have to have my helping of big, sugary, bombastic pop tunes on this list, and “Josslyn” was the first of that type of song I fell in love with this year. This song is full of snark and blunt lines, (maybe don’t listen with mom in the room,) but god help me if it didn’t have one of the catchiest chorus melodies of the year. I’ll shout along to the entire song every time I hear it. 

Frustrated by Lauren Sanderson: Okay, I only found this song by chance, like, last week, (another good reason for postponing these lists until the year is actually over,) and I have to include it. If you love the hooky guitars lines of The 1975, vocalists with a gritty edge to their delivery, and a free-spirited feel that captures the euphoria of youth, then this is the song for you. I may have just discovered it, but I’ve already played it countless times. 

To Me by Alina Baraz: Everything about “To Me” communicates blissful tranquility, from the watery production to the subtle confidence in Baraz’s delivery. Every time I was feeling overwhelmed or stressed this year, (and lord help me, that was a lot,) this was the song I’d always return to to center myself. Baraz demanding respect out of her relationships and the best things out of life was downright inspiring.

Do It by Chloe X Halle: If there is one word I would use to describe this it would be effervescent, this song is so fresh, bouncy, and bubbly, like orange soda in musical form. With its tropical production and effortless vocals, this song made me want to hit a dancefloor like nothing else this year. It was the perfect pop Summer smash that deserved a better Summer.

ringtone (Remix) by 100 gecs ft. Charli XCX, Kero Kero Bonito, and Rico Nasty: This is probably the best remix of the year? The original “ringtone” was a cute, hooky fragment, but this turned it into a fleshed out, full-on posse-cut where each guest gets a moment to shine. Charli XCX turns the hook into an earworm, Kero Kero Bonito contribute their signature chirpy vocals, and Rico Nasty jumps in for an awesome bridge that provides a nice change of pace. And, of, course, 100 gecs are the glue that holds everything together. If you’re new to the gec train, this is a great place to start. 

By Myself by Maya Hawke: “By Myself” was the song that proved that Maya Hawke was way more than the usual actor trying to cash in a quick buck. She was a bona-fide craftswoman with the potential to being tears to my eyes with blissfully simple yet artfully constructed folk ballads. This song feels like a long-forgotten lullaby, gentle and beautiful with just enough woeful melancholy to remain emotionally resonant the whole year. 

killing boys by Halsey: “killing boys” is the epitome of short but sweet. This song is a fifteen second long dialogue bite Jennifer’s Body followed by some of the most focused, atmospheric pop of the year that only lasts two and a half minutes. The way the thudding heartbeat, low plucked strings, and Halsey’s hushed delivery all build to the distorted end is a pure adrenaline rush every time. It always had me coming back for more, and by the end of the year it had climbed its way up into my top 5 most listened to songs of the year. 

Bloom by Donna Missal: It’s not a list of mine without a Donna Missal song, is it? As soon as I saw the name of this song on the Lighter track list, I just had a feeling I was going to love it. “Bloom” is the most stripped-back moment on the album, with just a guitar accompanying Missal, and yet it is also one of the most memorable and evocative songs it has to offer. What the stripped-back production allows is for Missal’s sheer, raw talent as a vocalist to blossom, especially in how she displays so much power not by belting, but by holding back. Accompanied with lyrics that detail the fear of holding someone back in a relationship, “Bloom” is awe-inspiring every time. 

fever dream by mxmtoon: mxmtoon’s double album from this year didn’t leave much of an impression of me, but lead single “fever dream” got countless spins. This song feels like a warm hug, with mxmtoon’s amiable vocals, pillowy indie pop production (the chirps! the chimes! the gentle woodwinds!) and comforting lyrics that seemed to synthesize everything I was feeling while giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder at the same time. Take the line: “I want something more than / More than restless mornings / Getting by is so boring.” Gee, I wonder why I would’ve hit a nerve in a year like 2020?

Shoulda Known Better by Nasty Cherry: From the first chord of the intro’s ringing guitars, this feels dug up from a mid-2000s coming of age soundtrack. In fact, there is an inexplicable nostalgic feel to this whole song, from the frankness the lyrics, to the filmy vocal processing, all of it. And the way the song kicks into a faster groove on the chorus is so fun, it makes me want to speed down a highway every time I hear it, and I hate driving! I guess that’s just the power of a great pop rock song. 

Heart of Glass by Miley Cyrus: Do you ever hear a song that stops you clean in your tracks and makes you sit in stunned silence until it’s over? Hearing this cover for the first time did that to me. I had been wanting Miley Cyrus to take the rock route for a while, but this cemented that my intuition was 100% correct. It’s not necessarily better than the Blondie version, (Debbie Harry’s original delivery is very smooth and nonchalant, Miley’s is more gritty and rough around the edges,) but it fills an entirely different purpose. And that purpose is to be listened to on a never ending loop, in absolute awe. 

WIGS by BLACKSTARKIDS: SURF traverses a slew of sounds, from boisterous rock to hip hop to indie pop. One of the albums best moments, however, comes when all those sounds meet in the middle “WIGS” is a blissed-out in the best way, still providing a memorable hook, (one of the best the album has to offer,) while also letting you relax and hang on for the ride.

Dead Horse by Hayley Williams: This was the most unexpected bop of the year. The lyrics may be all about betrayal in the lead-up to divorce, but the delivery is so upbeat and bouncy that I can often forget just how soul-crushing the content is at times. The production on this is so catchy, with the chirpy, tropical synths, the “ya-ya-yas,” and Williams’s stellar vocals.

this is me trying by Taylor Swift: My favorite songs on folklore came to me in waves. First, “epiphany” was my favorite, with its timely lyrics and orchestral arrangements. Then, it was “the lakes,” with its nostalgic, poetic feel, (consider it a very close runner-up.) But in the end, it was the slow burning ache of “this is me trying” that didn’t just become my favorite on folklore, but one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs ever. Looking back, “this is me trying” synthesizes what I like about those other two songs. It has a grand, atmospheric instrumental and pointed, detailed lyrics, combining the two into a single, perfect, emotional wrecking ball. 

Susie Save Your Love by Allie X ft. Mitski: This was my most anticipated duet of the year, and it didn’t disappoint! This song goes by like a long sigh on a humid Summer night, filled with breathy vocals set against a churning groove. The lyrics detail parties gone wrong and unrequited love with a best friend with just enough ambiguity to allude to something darker hovering under the surface. Mitski’s vocals work great in an alt-pop context, I love what she does with her solo work but I certainly wouldn’t be mad if she hopped onto more tracks like this. Also, that guitar solo makes me levitate every time. 

Fetch The Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple: Okay, who had “Fiona Apple meows on a song” on their 2020 bingo card? But it works, it works so well! From its opening clatter of percussion, “Fetch The Bolt Cutters” establishes a locomotive groove that never stops moving forward. In fact, the entire song seems to be dedicated to that sentiment, each lyric linking lines about middle school bullies, media critics, and Kate Bush references into their perfect place. It’s a narrative that may span a lifetime, but it still feels as timely as ever. 

forever by Charli XCX: I’ll admit I haven’t returned to How I’m Feeling Now all that much throughout 2020, but I have returned to “forever,” again and again and again. The sugar-sweet hook at the heart of all the blown-out bass is just irresistible. The way it manages to fight to the forefront, cutting through the clouds of distortion like a shimmering pink diamond, is nothing short of hopeful. 

Fit N Full by Samia: This was my instant favorite off The Baby. The glistening guitars make for a sweltering summery jam that you can’t help but move to every time you hear it. The way Samia weaves lyrics about the agonizing pressures of womanhood, diet culture, and body image into a catchy pop hook is pretty genius. She wraps them all up into a pretty package for consumption, just like women are forced to do with their pain. 

Heartbreak Weather by Niall Horan: Niall Horan has made folksy balladry his mainstay, which is all fine and good, but god help me if his turn towards stadium-rocking power pop didn’t result in one of the most anthemic songs of the year. “Heartbreak Weather” is sharply written, lushly produced, and performed with so much spirit and heart that I can’t help but think that this is the genre Horan has been meant to fall into all along. It’s certainly deserving of its title track status. 

Pretty Please by Dua Lipa: Future Nostalgia was an excellent showcase of Dua Lipa’s mastery over nonstop pop bangers, (”Physical” is the very close runner up for this list.) But surprisingly, it was the breather moment on the album, the song where everything slowed down, that really hooked me. I’m gonna say it, “Pretty Please” is so fucking sexy. The whole song screams sensuality, from the lyrics, to the bass line, to the funky synths, to Lipa’s delivery. It may not be as in-your-face as its peers, but it deserves just as much hype. 

Woo! by Remi Wolf: I had such a hard time picking a Remi Wolf song for this list that I had to resort to the raw data. “Woo!” ended up on my Spotify Wrapped, so “Woo!” gets this spot. This song just works in some ramshackle way I can’t describe, all the disparate pieces come together with so much charm. The way Wolf’s performance effortlessly flip-flops between jaunty half-rapping modulated with distortion to full-blown, raw belting on the bridge is a wild ride of the best kind every time. 

gold rush by Taylor Swift: We have another entry for the highly esteemed category of songs that capture the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. This latest Antonoff-Swift collaboration is a wistful, glittery whirlwind that captures the simultaneous excitement and soul crushing realization of a blooming crush. The way the dreamy intro snaps into the steady thrum of the rest of the song, before the song fades out in the same way, as if to illustrate how your mind can race to dozens of different places all within in the moment of meeting someone? Damn, I’m getting butterflies just thinking about it. 

Eugene by Arlo Parks: “Eugene” is a testament to soft-spoken heartache, as Arlo Parks details watching her straight crush in a relationship with a man. The song is incredibly intimate, both with Park’s hushed vocals and the specific details she utilizes in her writing, (Sylvia Plath poetry, a cigarette hanging between purple lips.) It all comes together to make the song all the more personal and heart-aching. 

People, I’ve been sad by Christine and the Queens: Christine and the Queens have perfected setting emotionally resonant sentiments against wire-tight grooves, and “People I’ve been sad” may just be their most elegant effort yet. The echoing, stuttering drums, fluttering backing vocals, and reverb give the track a wide sense of space, which perfectly illustrates the loneliness Chris describes. But there’s also this intangible warmth to the song too, harking from the strings and Chris’s introspective performance. Just gorgeous. 

XS by Rina Sawayama: Picking a song of SAWAYAMA for this list was damn near impossible. My first favorite off the album was the nu metal rager “STFU!,” then the slinky intrigue of “Akasaka Sad,” then the glitter-flinging “Tokyo Love Hotel.” But did those songs end Karl Marx’s career with their razor-sharp critique of capitalism? No. Hence, “XS” gets this spot. The craftmanship of this song is so impressive, with the rock guitar hits contrasted against the glossy pop production, Rina’s pitch-perfect performance, the witty lyricism, everything. This will go down as a classic in Ms. Sawayama’s discography, no doubt!

Guilty Conscience by 070 Shake: I didn’t even realize this was one of my favorite songs of the year until I was writing this list and felt like something was missing. This feels like a song that plays for the last stragglers on a prom dance floor. It’s melancholic yet just upbeat enough, sprawling yet buoyant, and hooks you in with the perfect balance monstrous, shimmering 80s synths undercut with rattling modern trap percussion. It’s just irresistible. If HBO doesn’t put this on the next season of Euphoria then they’re fools. 

I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers: I don’t even know if I can describe the full impact of this song, so I’ll keep to short. One word: catharsis. The way this sound builds up from signature Phoebe Bridgers Ballad™ to forceful rollick to gut-wrenching climax gives me chills every time. I don’t want to spoil it. If you haven’t heard it before, go listen to it, (preferably with the rest of the album, too.) If you know, you know. 

Delete Forever by Grimes: Okay, now who had “Grimes makes the best country song of the year” on their 2020 bingo card? I certainly didn’t. I’ve loved Grimes’s work in the past for its ability to transport me to another place. “Delete Forever” does the exact opposite in its discussion of loss, exhaustion, and hopelessness, rooting me right to where I am. But you know what? I think I like that a lot more, especially when the song incorporates a lush acoustic guitar and strings, sunny synths, and just enough optimism to remind me that there is always hope to keep the darkness from fully taking over.

circle the drain by Soccer Mommy: This song was in the running for my favorite song of the year since even before the pandemic began, for its classic 90s-alternative sound, for its clever production choices, and for its anthemic feel. But as the year went on, it just kept getting more and more emotionally potent. I’ve been wanting to look at the songs and albums I’ve discussed on these lists without putting on pandemic-tinted glasses, but the truth is, that experience drastically shaped my year, and how I consume music. The lyrics in this song were so goddamn relatable as this year kept spiraling and it felt like I was along with it. “circle the drain” showed me that it’s okay to be feel like I was “falling apart these days.” Because those feelings are not new, I’m not alone in feeling them, and I may keep feeling them, but you know what? I’ll still have this song, in fact, many of the songs on this list, to return to when I do. 

Here are some songs I loved this year that didn’t come out in 2020: “Nikes” by Frank Ocean, “Prom” by SZA, “Rhinestone Eyes” by Gorillaz, “Anyone Else But You” by The Moldy Peaches, “Cold War” by Cautious Clay, “Plans” by Maude Latour, “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit, and “Narcissist” by No Rome ft. The 1975.

Whether you liked, reblogged, or commented on a post, sent me an ask, or interacted with this blog in any way, thank you so much for all the support throughout the year! I can’t express how much I appreciate it.

What were your favorite songs from this year? Did I miss anything? Send me an ask and let me know. I’ll tell you my thoughts, or put it on my to-listen-to list if I haven’t heard them.

Here’s to 2021! May it clear the extremely low bar set by this year.

[polaroidlouis]

OK HEAR ME OUT IDK IF THIS COUNTS AS A PROMPT BUT FOR SOME REASON I HAVE THIS HEADCANON:

louis listening to harry's songs in the car. (especifically his juice cover lmao) so when louis gets home he's like humming the song to himself without realizing but harry catches him and he goes teehee were you listening to meee <3 and louis would go NO !!!! just to tease harry but of course he was listening to his songs bc he's proud of his talented baby and </3 yeah bye 😔

It’s a good song, is the thing.

The melody and lyrics are good and catchy, and he likes how it tastes on his tongue, so if he (often) finds himself singing along (or, when he knows Harry’s not in the house or within hearing distance, belting it out in the shower) it has nothing to do with Harry’s husky voice being the one that’s singing it. Nope.

Or at least, that’s what he tells Harry when the curly haired boy finds him in the kitchen moving his hips along to the beat and dueting the gravelly voice coming from his phone’s speaker singing he’s a ‘whole damn meal’.

“Are you sure?” is what Harry asks after Louis’ done reciting his excuse, tilted head and furrowed brows taunting him, the smug, bright smile he’s been wearing on his face since he caught him not diminishing even one bit.

“Of course,” Louis scoffs, even when he’s pretty sure his furiously pink cheeks are giving him away. His arm is itching to reach out for his phone on the counter and pause the song, the recorded voice and Harry’s eyes growing more amused the longer it keeps playing not helping him any, but he also doesn’t want Harry to feel like he’s won (won what exactly, he doesn’t know, he just knows that the corner of Harry’s mouth is twitching and it means he’s just waiting for a breakage in Louis’ facade to start teasing him, and Louis’ not letting that happen. He doesn’t look nearly as pretty as Harry does when he’s embarrassed, thank you very much.) (Even if Harry says he absolutely does). Ignoring the itch, and with a last, pointed look at Harry, Louis decides to turn around and continue what he was doing before being rudely interrupted.

And really, it shouldn’t come as a surprise when, almost immediately, Harry’s plastering himself to his back and crooning the lyrics in his ear, little puffs of mint-smelling breath hitting the side of Louis’ neck sending shivers down his spine, yet he still startles when he first feels the soft, gentle hands grab him by the waist that yank him back into Harry’s chest. The giant, delighted smile that threatens to take over his features feels like losing, somehow (even if it’s really, really not), so he tries to hide it by looking the other way as he bites down hard on his bottom lip.

Harry’s unbothered, probably enjoying Louis’ bashfulness a little too much, his arms playfully squeezing him every time he and video-Harry sing ‘juice’ making it harder for Louis to stay nonchalant about the whole situation, especially when he presses his smile into Louis’ neck and uses their position to start moving their hips in a sultry way, that if asked, he’d call dancing (Louis wouldn’t).

In the end, a giddy feeling that burns its way from Louis’ stomach all the way up to his chest has him throwing his head back with loud, blissful laughter after Harry, too happily, belts out the line about men in his dm’s.

Turning around in Harry’s arms, he’s beyond pleased to meet his favourite pair of green eyes twinkling with joy. “Who the fuck’s sliding into your dm’s, hm?” he asks a little harshly, resting his hands on Harry’s waist and squeezing hard his soft love handles to bring him even closer than they already are. Harry just shrugs, his smile coy this time with his cheeks dusted a delicate pink.

With both their hands holding each other, it is easy for Louis to lean in and kiss him, cutting him mid singing, tracing Harry’s cupid bow with his tongue and Harry happily swallowing Louis’ soft sighs for the remainder of the song.

“Alright, alright,” he says a few seconds later, drawing away from Harry’s enticing lips to turn around for his phone and pause the song before it jumps to the next one (another one of Harry’s, of course, but he doesn’t need to know that). “We don’t need your head to get any bigger,” he mumbles under his breath, making sure to be loud enough for Harry to hear. The little, faux offended intake of breath is the only warning he gets before Harry’s throwing himself onto his back, arms tightly clasped around his shoulders and clumsy legs climbing his body until they’re wrapped around his waist, where they belong.

“Oi, oi–!” he starts, but Harry’s the one to cut him mid sentence this time, stretching his neck to press their lips together even as he’s laughing to himself, which turns out to be more like laughing into Louis’ mouth, really. Fucking hell, he thinks nonetheless, just like every time for the past ten years, I love you.

[im-fairly-whitty]

The Witcher Wolf: In Plain Sight

Two years have passed since Geralt was cursed with the ability to turn into a wolf whenever his medallion is removed, a curse that's turned into a blessing now that he and Jaskier are partners in everything they do.

It's no exception when they discover a Nilfgaardian army bearing down on Cintra, headed straight toward a certain child surprise. With Jaskier's help and Geralt's enchanted medallion they must find a way to get into the palace, make sure Princess Cirilla is safe, and get out with her in tow if needed, regardless of Queen Calanthe's orders.

[Chapter 1: Into the Fire]  [Chapter 2: Old Friend] [Chapter 3: Bad Luck] 

Chapter 4: So Much For Being Smart

Jaskier wasn’t here. He wasn’t here he wasn’t here he wasn’t here.

“Wolf, are you alright?” Ciri asked, reaching under the table to slip Geralt a bit of meat from her plate.

Geralt gently took it from her hand, stiffly settled back at the foot of her chair to eat it instead of continuing to nervously shift from paw to paw as he scanned the lively ballroom for the missing bard.

He had to be better in control, he had to play his part instead of imagining every single scenario of where Jaskier could be right now, and in what condition.

“He’s probably as bored as I am, two Skellige beasts trapped at a table.” Eist said, looking over at him sympathetically. “Why don’t I take him outside for a bit of fresh air, would do us both some good.”

In the end it had been Eist—Ciri’s step grandfather—who had pushed hardest to have Geralt allowed at the banquet with Ciri. Real white wolves all came from Skellige, which had apparently endeared the prince regent to him. Let him come Calanthe, it’ll almost feel like home having a brute like him under the table.

“Neither of you are getting out of this so easily.” Calanthe said dryly, her courtly smile still fixed on her face as she sipped from a goblet that Geralt could smell held something much stronger than wine. “No matter how much either of you whine or roll on the floor.”

“Don’t pretend you wouldn’t rather be rolling in bed too.” Eist teased.

“Gross.” Ciri said, but Geralt could smell her amusement.

“I think he’s just excited to see so many people.” Mousesack said with a smile, glancing over to meet Geralt’s gaze with a look that held no such happiness.

Because Geralt had managed to spell out (literally) the plan to Mousesack during their afternoon together, that Jaskier was to meet them at the banquet, that he had the medallion that could turn Geralt human again.

And yet here they were, at the banquet with no Jaskier in sight. Most worryingly was the fact that the normal lutist was present, meaning that Jaskier hadn’t even gotten as far as finding him. He might be a bard but Geralt knew Jaskier was resourceful enough to have gotten the competition out of the way on his own.

Something had happened to his bard, perhaps as soon as Geralt had left him behind in the crowded marketplace. Geralt had been a fool to leave him behind, if anything had happened to him-

“I saw the Wraiths of Mörhogg over the channel this morning.” Eist said, voice now sober as he shifted his goblet back and forth on the tabletop.

“Yes, you mentioned.” Calanthe said, sounding very much like she did not want to have this conversation.

“Who?” Ciri asked, looking up from petting Geralt’s head.

“No good will come of it.” Eist said, still staring ahead, watching the boisterous dancers whirling across the ballroom floor as the guests clapped in time with the music. “They're an omen of war.”

“The North has been at war since Nilfgaard took Ebbing.” The Queen said. “If legend is true, the Wild Hunt's years behind the curve.”

“The Nilfgaardian force crossed the Amell Pass.” Eist said, looking at her.

Geralt’s ears pricked. This was what they’d come to Cintra for in the first place after all, to find out if the Queen was taking the Nilfgaardian threat seriously, if Ciri would be kept safe.

“Headed to Sodden, if they're smart.” Calanthe said, still with an utterly unworried smile on her face. “And if not, fifty of your Skelligen ships are on the way. We have more knights. We are prepared in case-”

“Prepared for what?” Ciri interrupted.

“Nothing for you to be concerned about.” The Queen said lightly.

Geralt got to his feet, ears pinned back. It was certainly something for her to be concerned about, something all of them should be concerned about.

“Your dismissive tone says it is.” Ciri sulked, undeterred.

“We're talking of war, girl.” Eist said, leaning past Calanthe to look at Ciri.

“With Nilfgaard?” Ciri asked, confused. “Why?”

“Eist!” Calanthe snapped.

“Should we fall to Nilfgaard, your granddaughter will rule.” Eist said sternly. “She needs to understand the way of things.”

“We will not fall, because we are not under attack!” Calanthe hissed. “She's a child.”

Geralt felt an edge of a growl percolating in the back of his throat as he got to his feet. Which is why she should be protected, already out of the city with him and Jaskier, not kept here in harm’s way under a pretentious ruler’s false confidence.

He saw Mouseack lean back in his chair far enough to shoot Geralt a warning look from behind Eist. Geralt grit his teeth, but managed to keep from snarling at the queen.

It did children no good to have had hard things hidden from them, not when they should be hidden from it instead.

“You won your first battle in Hochebuz when you were my age.” Ciri insisted, absently reaching down to pet him. “I've heard the ballad.”

“Pretty ballads hide bastard truths.” Eist said with a humorless chuckle.

“It's a catchy song.” Ciri insisted, the girl refusing to be defeated so easily.

“Three thousand of my men died.” Calanthe said, fixing her granddaughter with a hard expression. “If we must do this now, here is your first lesson. As in life, it is impossible always to be fully prepared for battle. Keep your sword close...and keep moving.”

Cheering and clapping filled the ballroom as the song came to an end, dancers dispersing to look for new partners while the musicians caught their breath.

Not that any of those musicians mattered.

“Your Majesty, thank you for allowing our company at this splendid affair.” Said a nobleman who had walked up to the table, bowing along with his son.

“Your Highness,” said the young man, looking to Ciri. “would you honor me with a dance?”

Geralt actually did growl this time, looking critically at the young man who wanted to dance with his child surprise. Especially when Ciri had told him earlier how much she hated being made to dance at parties.

“Uh... Martin, I don’t know, I have to stay with Wolf, he-” Ciri started.

“She'd love to.” Calanthe interjected with a smile, shooting a look at her granddaughter.

Ciri grumbled under her breath, quiet enough that likely only Geralt heard her. But she obeyed with a sigh and a forced smile. “Wolf, stay. I’ll be right back.”

Geralt huffed, but sat. He watched Martin lead her onto the dance floor, his pinned back ears relaxing just a bit when he saw Ciri’s smile become genuine as the dance started. Well at least she didn’t really hate it as much as she’d complained. Although if that boy tried anything he was going to be nursing a wolf bite for the next couple weeks.

“Reminds me of your daughter's betrothal feast.” Eist said quietly, a nostalgic smile on his face as he leaned over to his queen.

Geralt huffed, head tipping in the closest to eye rolling a wolf could manage as he padded under the table over to sit by Mousesack’s side. Pavetta’s betrothal feast had ended in an accidental display of unbridled elder magic so fierce it had nearly ripped the castle down. Followed directly but Geralt being a fool enough to saddle himself with the law of surprise. Nothing that warranted anything approaching fond nostalgia.

He looked back to Ciri, the young girl grinning now as she whirled back and forth between partners along to the music. Her eyes shone as she laughed, ducking under arms and stomping in time. Geralt tipped his head in gentle amusement as he watched her.

Well...maybe a little nostalgia...

Geralt’s gaze caught on movement at the far end of the hall, a man with a grey streak in his hair ducking into the ballroom through the massive double doors. A latecomer to a royal banquet? He must be one of the queen’s men for that not be considered an offense.

He watched as the man took a seat at one of the tables, smiling and laughing with the others while he helped himself to a side of ham. Geralt looked away, only for a second latecomer to catch his attention, this time a man in armor. The armored man however looked decidedly un jovial as he made a beeline directly to the man with the grey streak, bending over to whisper something in his ear that made the color drain from his face.

Geralt slowly got to his feet, even his Witcher sharpened wolf hearing unable to pick up their words from across the noise ballroom. A harried man in armor appearing at a party was never never a good sign, and Geralt could already feel a cold heaviness in his gut, even before the armored man nodded to his companion and then made his way directly to the queen’s table.

Geralt nosed at Mousesack’s hand in warning, staring at the approaching man when the druid looked down at him. All four of them at the table looked as the man ducked behind their table to whisper in the queen’s ear.

Geralt nearly missed the man’s words entirely even with his enhanced hearing. Because even as the queen’s face went deadly pale Geralt was growling for an entirely different reason. He had caught the faintest scent of Jaskier on the armored man’s clothing.

Mousesack snatched at Geralt’s collar, narrowly keeping him back as Geralt tried to get at the man.

“Heel, Wolf.” The druid hissed, tightening his grip.

“I stand corrected.” Calanthe said hollowly to Eist, her face deathly pale as the armored man quickly retreated. “They're here. They're already here.”

Geralt whined and growled as he watched the man go, yanking halfheartedly at his collar, unable to make sense of what to do now. He had barely enough common sense under his panic to realize that chasing down and tackling the man in the middle of the banquet hall would not be the best course of action. Upon thinking another moment it also occurred to Geralt that the scent had been so faint that the armored man likely hadn’t actually been around Jaskier at all, but rather around someone who had.

“So much for being smart.” Eist quietly said to his wife, the scent of dread flowing off him. He was watching Ciri dancing with the guests, the party still in full swing and oblivious to the deadly fate quickly closing in on them. “You should tell the girl.”

“Let her enjoy this night in peace.” Calanthe said hollowly. “It may be her last for a while.”

Geralt growled, lunging to his feet and yanking Mousesack out of his chair with him. He was done playing nice. The queen obviously had no plan for keeping Ciri safe, meaning Geralt had to get her out to safety now, hopefully before the armies actually broke down the front gates and swarmed into the castle.

And they would. Geralt had seen firsthand the ruins left behind by Nilfgaardians armies, and the fanatics rarely left behind anything more than ash and charred bones in their wake. A fate that was not going to befall him or Jaskier or Ciri, meaning he had to follow the faint scent trail before it faded.

“I’ll keep an eye on him!” Mousesack hastily called back to the queen as Geralt all but dragged him across the room, heedless of dancers and guests who laughed at the sight.

Geralt burst out the ballroom doors, leaving the noise of the party behind them as he dashed into the hall, the loudest sound now the skittering of his nails on the stone floor and Mousesack’s indignant sounds as he stumbled to keep up.

“Geralt, stop, what are you doing? What are you rushing off after?” Mousesack demanded, giving a mighty yank on the collar that stopped him in his tracks.

Geralt twisted and snapped warningly at the druid’s hand with a growl, startling the man into letting go. He wasn’t an animal to be jerked around, and he wasn’t afraid to remind Mousesack of that fact, not when he was about to lose his chance at finding Jaskier.

He turned away and sniffed the air, frantically pacing across the hall until he picked up the scent again. Jaskier, still faint but stronger now than it had been on the armored man. Geralt had seen him leave with the gray hair streak man, was that who he’d picked the scent up from? Was that the person who knew where his bard was?

He locked onto the scent, dashing down the hallway after it. He heard Mousesack calling after him but ignored it as he scrambled around a corner, down another long hallway and down a steep flight of marble steps. The scent was getting stronger, if he just-

He turned a corner and pulled up short at the sight of two armed guards standing in front of a heavy oak door. The two men stared back at him, blinking in surprise.

“Never seen him around.” One of the guards said to the other. “Think he belongs to one of the guests?”

“Must, what with that pretty collar he’s got.” The other guard responded.

Geralt sniffed the air, pawing uncertainly at the floor. The scent trail led past the guards and through that door.

He started forward, intent on shouldering his way past the guards, but the men shifted into his way.

“Not for you,” one of the guards said sternly, prodding Geralt’s side with the end of his spear. “run off now.”

Geralt snarled, barking at the guards, making them jump. He could feel the prickling sensation of the fur along his spine rising in anger, making him look bigger than he already was.

“You, you don’t reckon he’s some kind of Nilfgaardian mutt?” the first guard said, face paling a bit as he defensively lowered his spear. “There’s something wrong with him, he’s lookin’ at me.”

“Shut up you idiot, it’s just a dog.” the other guard snapped, now lowering the business end of the spear instead. He looked at Geralt. “Get away you dumb animal, unless you fancy being stuck through.”

Geralt growled, the feral noise bubbling up his chest as he thought quickly, he’d have to take them out before they thought to get to their swords, their ceremonial palace armor left a few weak places that he could-

The guard jabbed at him and Geralt ducked under the spike, coming up underneath to latch onto the wooden shaft of the spear and breaking clean through the wood with a snap of his jaws. He yanked the rest of the shaft from the man’s grip, throwing it to the side.

“Bloody hell!” The second guard yelped, his spear clattering to the floor as he drew his sword. “I told you he weren’t normal, he’s one of them mutant Novigrad fighting mutts!”

Geralt snarled, crouching low as he tried to find a weak spot, his chances against two drawn swords and a closed door were becoming ever slimmer as the guards recovered from their shock, but he couldn’t just-

“Stop! Stop it, all of you!”

Geralt growled in irritation as Mousesack turned the corner, feeling a wall of protecting magic sweep between him and the guards, blocking them from getting at each other.

“Watch out sir! He’s rabid!” One of the guards called out.

“He’s not rabid, he’s stupid.” Mousesack snapped. He glared at Geralt. “Are you going to come to your senses and come with me so we can settle this intelligently, or am I going to have to resort to something you’re going to regret to keep you from further embarrassing yourself?”

Geralt’s growl turned to a frustrated whine as his anger simmered into clawing unease. He looked at the spooked guards--armored men he really had no chance of getting past, not in this state--and back to Mousesack, who was looking at him with an expression that said he would have no problem throwing a magic muzzle on him and dragging him out of the castle for this behavior.

Geralt pawed at his face, huffing a strained sigh.

“Good.” Mousesack said tightly, dropping his wall of magic.

“Hadn’t we better kill it sir?” One of the guards asked, not lowering his sword. “There’s something unnatural about it sir, I don’t fancy being sieged in here with the likes of him what with the Nilfgaardians coming. Master Wilhelm’s saying no one’s to leave the castle.”

“Then I suggest you focus on your own duties.” Mousesack said, shooting Geralt a look before turning to leave. “Melitile knows we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

Geralt slunk after him, following in anxious silence until they were out of earshot of the guards.

“Is this something to do with Jaskier?” Mousesack asked, turning to face him. “I can’t think of what else would have you dashing off like a fool. Were you really going to try attacking two armed guards with nothing but your teeth?”

Geralt whined, shifting from paw to paw, wishing desperately that he could speak. We have to follow the scent, with your help we can get past the guards.

“I promised I would help you however I can, but you promised you wouldn’t do anything rash.” Mousesack said, “That door leads to parts of the castle not even I can go without express permission from her majesty or her spymaster. Especially not when the castle has just been placed under lockdown.”

Geralt barked in frustration, taking a step back toward the door, looking at the druid. But Jaskier’s scent led there, it was already fading, they were losing him.

“I’m sorry my friend, but without a plan I cannot help you and we can’t make a plan if you can’t tell me what’s wrong. I know this is frustrating but we’ll need to go back to my office to spell out what you’re thinking, and I must attend to the princess and the queen. I want to help you, but I also have my duties to the royal family first. I’m not going to commit treason by attacking their guards without knowing why just because it seems a wolf wants me to. You understand?”

Geralt was silent, staring off at nothing in tense resignation. Without Mousesack’s help he couldn’t follow the trail, and by the time he would be able to tell him the scent would have faded away. As a wolf he had no choice but to follow the druid’s direction, he depended too much on the man’s protection in a castle full of people who would happily skin him otherwise, even before knowing who he really was.

His tail tucked a bit between his legs, his head lowering a little. He missed Jaskier.

“Come, we’ll handle this as well as we can.” Mousesack said, starting down the hall again. “My guess is we have less than an hour at most before the guests realize they won’t be leaving this castle. Once that happens I’ll likely be asked to stay with Princess Cirilla as her protective escort while the queen decides what is to be done about this disaster. This is the only chance we’ll have to communicate in private for what I think is going to be a long time, we can’t waste a second more of it.”

Geralt swallowed, following dutifully after the druid.

As they made their way down the halls Geralt wished he wasn’t able to smell the descending stink of fear and worry that grew stronger with every guard and page and servant they passed.

It seemed news of the advancing army was spreading quickly through the castle, only serving to set Geralt more on edge as he tried not to imagine where Jaskier was, if he’d heard it yet as well.

[Read part 5: Secrets]

____

*meme of Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at the TV screen* me when I'm on tumblr and see themes of lockdown/quarantine seeping into the fanfic I'm reading while we're all IRL on lockdown/quarantine

Good news! I finally figured out how many chapters are left in this fic! The answer is two, there are two chapters are left in this fic.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Lost one sibling, gained four more; Queen x teen reader pt.2

*Author’s note*

Okay so here we go w/pt.2 now here is where we get to majority of the angst towards the middle and the end of the story. So I hope you all got your handkerchiefs out cause you’ll need them for this part. I’m sorry in advance for any heartbreak that I’ll cause but it ends with fluff, don’t worry. Enjoy my lovelies

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

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"(Y/n). (Y/n)~ wake up sleeping beauty." I moaned and groggily opened my eyes to see Deacy smiling down at me. I felt his hand stroking my hair and I let out a soft yawn.

"Are we there yet?"

"We're just about to turn into the driveway right now." I heard Roger say. I got off Deacy's shoulder and as we finally arrived up at the studio I was surprised to see it was more like a barn than a recording studio. "This is it?" Roger asked.

"This is it boys and girl. Welcome to your new home for the next several weeks." Our driver parked the car and we all got out. I raised my arms stretching them out trying to wake myself up and all around me I saw nothing but miles of greenery, some animals out and about like cattle and chickens.

"It's pleasant. I think it'll do good." I said to myself.

"Oi intern! Make yourself useful and grab some of these bags." I heard Paul's nastily voice snap at me.

"Watch it Prenter. Less you wanna be thrown over the barn." Roger threatened him.

We were then given our rooms. Freddie of course got the biggest one, Rog's was quite comfortable looking, Brian had the rickety old bed, poor John was shoved down the basement in probably the smallest room in the whole house, then just before Paul could stick me down in the middle of the living room, Roger came down and said.

"Hang on, there's a spare room jointed with Freddie's. I think (y/n) should take that room."

"That won't do any good Roger, I've already called that room." Paul said.

"You sure you want that room Prenter? Because I just went in it and I saw this big, nasty, hairy spider about the size of a dinner plate. Not to mention the rat burrows I found in the drawers." At hearing Roger's tale, Paul's eyes widened and he said.

"Better yet, why don't you take that room lass?"

"Thanks you for understanding Prenter." Said Rog as he came over and wrapped an arm around me and brought me back upstairs.

"Please tell me there's no spider or rats." I whispered to him.

"Of course there's not. I just said that to jerk him off. You didn't really think I'd let you sleep in a room like that, did you?" He then opened the door to my room and it was fairly big in itself.

A beautiful wooden wardrobe with carvings of horses designed along the frame, a Victorian style dresser, a pretty big bed maybe a queen sized mattress and a joint bathroom.

"Plus I figured you deserve your own bathroom than having to share it amongst us men. Leave the fighting to us, no need to drag you into our morning squabbles of who gets the first morning shower." I set my stuff down and said.

"Thanks Rog."

"No need to thank me at all love, just hope you can handle Fred as a roommate."

"I managed while we were in Japan, didn't I?"

"That you did, well I'll leave you to unpack your things. Breakfast will be made in about an hour. Deacy's cooking today." I moaned already thinking of the delicious meal Deacy was going to prep for us. After unpacking my stuff, I lay down on the bed to test it and already I felt like I was on a heavenly cloud.

"Oh my god this bed is so comfortable." I turned towards the window and looked out to the green paradise that reached our far beyond the horizon. "God Kay, you should really see this view." I then grabbed my journal and did a quick sketch of the outside. The sky, clouds and even rays of sunlight peeking out. As I kept working, I soon heard Deacy's voice proclaim.

"Breakfast is ready!" I smiled and set my journal down and raced downstairs. "Well first one down, first one to be served. And also given something a little extra."

"Thanks Deacy." I thanked as he gave me extra cheese on toast and eggs.

"How come she gets extras?" exclaimed Paul. Deacy and I turned towards him and he said.

"I only give extras to first arrivals. And (y/n) here deserves every ounce of extra food because she alone appreciates my cooking."

"What are you talking about I appreciate your cooking Deacy darling!" Freddie proclaimed.

"Just last week you said my toast was too crispy for your liking."

"I was recovering from a hangover and I needed flavor, not dried up ash."

"Exactly my point Fred. Now everyone else come make your plate." We all then gathered around the table with me sitting between Brian and Freddie and Roger sitting across from me.

As the day went on, the boys went immediately to work after breakfast and tested out the recording studio across from the main house. They were all scattered around currently trying to come up with song ideas.

I was walking along outside to get some fresh air when I saw Roger bothering some of the chickens.

"I thought you were supposed to be working? Not bothering the livestock." He jolted before turning towards me and he said.

"I am working. In fact I've poured my heart and soul into this song."

"Oh really? And what song have you poured your very being into?"

"Come into the studio with me and I'll show you." He then guided me to the studio and went over to his drumkit and began playing his song to which he named "I'm in love with my car."

After he played it, I'll admit I was intrigued. It definitely had a good drum feel to it, because this was a song where the drums really got to shine and I haven't heard a song do that yet.

"How was that?" he asked me.

"It's......" I tried to find the right words on how I really felt.

"Please tell me you don't hate it. Cause I swear if you do I'll lock you in here till you say you love it."

"No, no Rog I don't hate it. I love the fact that it has a good drum feel to it. They really shine more than anything I've ever heard of from any rock and roller. It's just the lyrics.....Please tell me you don't actually want to have—"

"No! It's a metaphor (n/n). In fact Johnathan is inspiration to this."

"Wait Johnathan Harris, one of the roadies?"

"Yeah. He says that the current love of his life is his Triumph F4. So as appreciate for what he's done for us on the road, this song is for him."

"Ahh I see."

"So you—do like the song?" he asked almost insecurely. He stared at me with nervous baby blue eyes that made him look like a nervous puppy about to go to the vet. How could one say no to his face?

"I like it." A proud smile spread wide across his face as he came up and picked me up and spun me around.

"Oh thank you lovie. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!"

The next morning I woke up to the sound of an argument downstairs. I stood up and walked down the stairs to see Roger throw a few strips of bacon right at Brian.

"Is that strong enough?!" he then cleared the entire counter. Food, plates, the vase with some flowers and water all slammed right on the ground and broke into a million pieces. "What about that!?" he then reached for the coffee machine and was ready to smash it when Brian and Deacy exclaimed.

"NOT THE COFFEE MACHINE!!!"

"What is going on here!?" I snapped. The three of them turned towards me and that's when they all began talking over each other. I rubbed my fingers to my temples immediately regretting even saying anything. "SHUT IT!!!" at that point they all went quiet.

"(Y/n), please tell me you didn't actually agree to a song like 'I'm in love with my car'." Brian pleaded with me.

"I did. I think the song has some potential. I mean yeah the lyrics are a little iffy but it's catchy." At that point John and Brian groaned out while Roger gave me a wink and a thumbs up.

"And to think I was gonna make you Veronica's special apple pie. But now I take that back." Deacy said.

"I thought you had good taste in music (y/n)."

"And she does. At least it's better than calling someone sweet like they're cheese."

As the day went on, we were now recording Freddie's song to which he's titled "Bohemian Rhapsody." I'll admit the lyrics made absolutely no sense whatsoever, but Freddie had a vision for the song and just hearing him sing and play the piano of how he wanted this song to be, made me begin to really like this song.

Right now Brian who had just had an idea for a guitar solo for this song, was in the studio recording what he had in mind. I'll admit it this'll probably be the first time a guitar solo is sung, and when people finally get a taste of this song, they'll probably be singing this for decades to come.

Weeks continued to pass by and we were still focused on Fred's song. But what was really going through my mind was that I hadn't heard from my mum since the second day we came here. I know I've been busy with the guys but I would've thought Paul being the message keeper, he would've at least told me if my mum had called.

But then again you should never trust a snake with secrets.

It was currently 2:30am when I kept tossing and turning in my sleep. I kept whimpering out as my breathing went ragged and heavy.

"No. No.....no Kay don't.....don't leave me."

"(Y/n). (Y/n) dear. Darling wake up!" I suddenly opened my eyes someone reached for my lamp and when the light came on, Freddie stood hovering over me. "It's okay, it's okay darling, you're okay."

"Freddie wha—what time is it?"

"2:30 darling, I could hear you whimpering from my room."

"Ahh shit I'm so sorry Fred I—I didn't mean to wake you up."

"No, no it's fine dear. Are you okay? It sounded like a pretty bad dream." He said as he stroked some hair out of my face. I sighed heavily.

"It's been over 3 weeks since I've talked to my mum. And just the last few times that I have called I got no answer from the house phone. Freddie I'm—I'm worried something's happened to Kay. What if—what if she's....."

"Hey, hey, hey no don't think like that darling. Come here." He sat down beside me and pulled me close so that my ear was pressed over his heart. "Don't automatically assume the worst dear."

"Then why haven't I gotten word from my mum yet?"

"I'll sort it out with Paul in the morning. For now try to get back to sleep, yeah?" I sniffled and nodded. I lowered myself back into bed and Freddie helped tucked me back in. "There we go darling. Snug as a cute bug in a rug." I hummed a chuckle and he smiled at me. "Stay here for a minute."

He then left my room for half a second before finally coming back in with a candle in one hand and his lighter in another. He set the candle by the nightstand and flicked his lighter on before lighting it up. He turned my light off, letting the candle be my only source of light.

"What is this Fred?"

"Something I used to do with Kash when she was a little girl before I went off to boarding school. While this candle is a light, they are the eyes that a brother leaves behind to guard his sister while she dreams at night. No nightmares would dare enter while this candle is lite."

"You promise?"

"I swear it." He smiled and brushed my bangs out of the way before placing a gentle and loving kiss at the center of my forehead. "Goodnight my little kitten."

"Night Freddie." He smiled and gave me one final kiss to each of my cheeks before walking out smiling softly and shutting the door. I kept my eyes on the candle as it flickered on an invisible breeze. I soon felt my eyes grow heavy as I fell back asleep.

Early the next morning, we were starting the Operatic section of Bohemian Rhapsody. Roger being the high range singer that he is, recorded his bits for the Galileo parts.

"How was that?" he asked.

"Freddie?" Deacy spoke trying to get Fred's attention as he stared at the meters.

"Higher." Freddie said. Roy rewind the tape as Deacy said to Roger.

"Can you go a bit higher?"

"If I go any higher, only dogs will hear me."

"Try." Said Fred.

"Freddie's note, sorry." Said Deacy.

"Go on, roll the tape." Sighed Roger. Then on take 24 Rog tried the Galileo's again, this time they were higher as he did grand arm gestures to help make his voice go higher. "How was that? Better?"

"Higher." Freddie bluntly demanded. Brian pointed up to the sky with his pen and Roger growled out.

"Jesus, how many more Galileo's do you want?"

"Freddie wants to do a few more overdubs." Deacy stated.

"Do we even have any tape left?" asked Roger.

"I do have to say the tape is wearing out. It can't take much more."

"Yeah we can't afford much more. What are we three weeks overscheduled?" questioned Brian as he wrote down some notes while I was drawing Roger in the studio.

Soon enough one more take turned into 9-10 takes before Fred was finally satisfied. The operatic session continued with the next line, Freddie who was pacing around said with a grin.

"That's it." After Roger was done singing Freddie continued, "It's beautiful. Love it!" with a clap of his hands, they continued on.

Now all four of them were in the booth going back and forth from the low ranges to the high for the Bismillah section.

The guys got into it so much especially at the final vocalization that by the time the rock out section came on, they were all bouncing up and down so much that they actually made the flats collapse backwards, barely missing some of their stuff.

Freddie and John came falling to the ground, while Rog and Bri were the ones responsible for knocking the two flats behind them down. I couldn't help but laugh myself as I knew this song was gonna change Queen's life forever.

"How was it (y/n) darling?" asked Freddie.

"I love it guys. It's perfect! This is gonna change the world forever." I said into the microphone and the guys all cheered.

Whoo what a rush! I thought we'd never get the song done. Guess being a perfectionist finally paid off, because as I've said repeatedly I truly believe "Bohemian Rhapsody" is gonna change the way of music forever.

Now with the song finally done and the guys taking a break for a bit, I decided to try and call my mum again to see how Kaylee is doing.

I typed in my home phone number and I heard it ring three times before my mum's voice said.

'Hello?'

"Hey mummy."

'(Y/n)?'

"Yeah who'd you think it was Debbie Reynolds? I've......"

'(Y/n) I've been trying to call you repeatedly for weeks hadn't you gotten any of my messages?' her voice was frantic and cracking with sorrow.

"Whoa, whoa mum slow down. What's happened?"

'I've been calling you repeatedly nonstop. This man who answered said he'd relay my messages to you. But you never called me back, why didn't you call me back?!' Paul. Goddamn you Prenter!

"Mum I didn't get any messages. What's happened?"

'(Y/n)......it's Kaylee.'

"What about Kaylee is she alright?!"

'Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry......it just happened so suddenly, the doctors tried so hard to revive her but she—she died a week ago.' At this point I just froze.

No she—she couldn't have. Not Kaylee, not my best friend. She can't be dead, she can't be!

"(Y/n) dear! Come on out and party with us! We—darling?" I saw all four of the guys come in from outside and they must've seen the horrified shock on my face.

I could hear the faint sounds of my mum trying to get my attention but all I did was drop the phone and race upstairs. I slammed the door shut and leaned up against it.

My chest felt like it was being squished by a car as I could barely get a breath of air out. Then I guess I must've blacked out because all I could faintly hear was the sound of crashing, the faint feeling of my fist beating against a wall and just screaming. I don't know how long I was doing this but it wasn't until I felt the familiar arms of Roger wrap around me trying to get me to stop.

I ended up crying and screaming as I just collapsed into Roger's lap and wept hard and long.

I was now back in London ready to bid a final farewell to my sister at her funeral. I only just wish I could've said goodbye to her before she passed away. Since it was an open casket, my mum and I stood side by side of each other as we stared down at Kaylee before we would bury her.

"She loved you (y/n). I hope you realize that." Said my mum.

"I wish I got to say goodbye to her though."

"I know." She wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head and rubbed my arm and back. She then left me alone with my sister. I stared down at her and it was like she was asleep, like our favorite Disney Princess Aurora. However I knew that not even true love's kiss would wake her up, because unlike Aurora my sister is actually dead and no spell can reverse it to make it a sleeping curse.

I didn't even know what to say. My throat was choking up as it felt dry, my stomach was in tight knots, and I felt like crying but my tears were all spent. I felt sick and just wanted to curl up and disappear, maybe even die myself so that I could be reunited with my sister. I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers and whispered.

"Goodbye Kay." I kissed her forehead and began to realize just how cold she was. I backed away from her casket and lowered my head as I felt sobs coming out of me once more. I felt a presence behind me and that's when I heard Roger's voice say.

"We're so sorry (y/n)." I whimpered and immediately nuzzled myself into his chest as my voice trembled.

"Thank you Queen." Roger wrapped his arms around me and placed his head on top of mine and kept hugging me.

It was surprising that the boys wanted to come to the funeral to pay their respects to Kaylee, and it was also surprising that from some of the profit they've already made from their previous records, as well as payment for this album to help pay for this whole funeral.

I soon was passed over to Brian who gave me a soft but assuring bear hug.

"We're truly sorry for your loss (y/n). Kaylee didn't deserve to be taken away so young. But she'll always watching over you from the stars."

"And we're always here for you precious darling." Freddie stated. He came over and cupped each side of my face and he said as he wiped away my tears, "Paul's out. After finding out he kept these messages from you, we fired him. We wish we had found out sooner, you know we'd stop the recording and drive you back home to say a final goodbye. You know that right?" I nodded and I felt him kiss a tear away.

Deacy soon came up and he held his arms out for me. I instantly went to him and clung onto him. And even when he refused to say a word, this was the best comfort I could ask for.

I didn't need all this sympathy talk, or the repetitive 'she's always watching over you' or 'she's never really gone. She's up in heaven with the Lord watching over you.' Or whatever religious BS people have to say.

He just held me and pet my hair, and that's all I needed.

After that I—I couldn't go back to work for the guys. I had no motivation anymore, just due to the fact that I needed to be with my mother now. She had just lost her first born child and I can't imagine what she's going through right now. I need to be there for her, no matter what to let her know I'm still her. Even if it means letting go of my dreams.

2 years later; I was working a 9-5 shift at a shopping center. I basically did what Mary used to do at Biba. Along with that, my mum's forced us to go to therapy sessions to try and talk about our feelings after Kaylee's death.

Since I was now done with work, I had to go to my independent weekly session. I was sitting on the couch with my therapist Dr. Lockwood sitting at his desk.

"So how have you been handling all this so far?"

"I mean—I get by day by day. Some days are hard, some are easy." I answered.

"Have you entered into Ealing art college yet? You said you wanted to be an artist."

"I decided not to go. So I just work at the shopping center a few miles away from here. Sorta near Biba."

"Why did you decide to give up your dream? I thought being an artist was your dream?"

"Yeah well dreams change." I sneered.

"Okay, okay I can understand that. So do you like this job better than your old one?" I remained silent. "Your mother said that you worked alongside Queen. They've got good music, my daughter's bought every one of their records."

"Yeah they're.....they're talented guys." I muttered.

"So about your previous job? Was it better than your current one?"

"I mean.....I don't have as much fun as I used to but....." I trailed off and couldn't bring myself to answer.

"Do you think your sister would've wanted you to give up your job with them?" I turned to look at him and I snapped.

"Why must you assume what my sister would want of me!? You're not her! You don't know what it's like to lose your best friend! You're just trying to make me feel guilty, that's all you've ever done!"

"I'm not making you feel guilty. Your mum told me that your sister was thrilled that you were working with both of yours favorite band. She knew you were special and just what Queen needed."

"I just......"

"(Y/n), I bet the boys of Queen miss you just as much as you miss them. I know why you had to leave, it was your way of handling your grief, and to be there for your mum. But the boys had helped you throughout your internship, as well as during the funeral. No rock band would do that willingly." I leaned back against the couch and sighed heavily. "I believe your sister wouldn't want you to push them away as you have been."

"They—well Roger mostly has tried to reach out a few times for the past couple months. I never did call him back though."

"I think you should go see them. Aren't they going to perform in Houston in a couple days?"

"What if they don't want to see me since I've been avoiding them?"

"If they truly loved you, I doubt they would turn you aside."

So I took Dr. Lockwood's advice and got a ticket and went on the next flight to Houston, Texas for their concert. As usual the boys performed magnificently on stage, especially with their new album News of the World out. I also took notice that Rog, Freddie and Deacy had shorter hair than I last remembered.

But they still were awesome up there, hell I thought they looked even better with the shorter hair. They continued to work the audience with each song and seeing the crowd react bigger and more energetic than ever before it made me happy to know the guys were finally reaching the popularity they always wanted to have.

When the show was over, I stayed behind and somehow managed to sneak backstage. I walked along the underground hallways that lead to the dressing rooms when I was stopped by a security guard.

"Excuse me do you have a backstage pass miss?"

"No but I know the band."

"Uh-huh you and every other young teenage girl that pulls this move." He stated as he gripped hold of my arms and began to take me outside.

"No, no let go I'm not kidding! I used to be their lawyer's assistant!"

"Young lady I gave you fair warning, now please leave or else I'll have you arrested."

"What is going on out—(y/n)?" I turned and gaped.

"Phoebe?" It was Freddie's assistant Peter or as Freddie like to call him, Phoebe.

"Oh my god you—you actually came." He said with a wide smile.

"Yeah I—I was hoping to also maybe......talk to the guys."

"Yes of course ohh you have no idea how happy they'll be to see you again."

"But....." the security guard tried to butt in and that's when Phoebe slammed him.

"Oi back off pal, this young lady here is Queen's personal assistant. She's just been on personal leave for a while. So if you don't let her through, you'll have to face the wrath of the four Queens." With no other words from the security guard, he let me go and Phoebe extended his arm out towards me and I followed behind him. As we walked along the corridors he asked me, "So how have things been for you (y/n)?"

"It's.....been rough."

"I know what you mean. When my mum died I didn't know what to do."

"Are—are they upset with me?" I asked nervously.

"Of course not darling. Not once have they talked about you in anger or resentment. If anyone did, Roger and Fred were the first to pop those bastards in the face." I nodded. Soon we reached the dressing room and he said, "here we are love. They should be decent by now. Go on in."

"Thanks Peter." He smiled and patted my shoulder before leaving to check out to see if the roadies had finally cleared the stage and packed everything up. I stared at the door and took a deep breath in before exhaling softly and slowly opened up the door.

"He threw my best fucking pair of maracas away the first day. Great sounding maracas and I mean....it took me hours to steal them." I softly smiled as I heard Roger's voice for the first time in 2 years. I could hear the sounds of laughter before Freddie spoke up.

"Now they know I'm gonna throw those things...."

"And he just goes..."

"Actually they were wonderful I must say, I'm sorry."

"One in a million maracas and I'm never gonna get them back." Roger whined. I slowly stepped further in the dressing room to see Fred sitting down in his green and gold robe getting unwind from the performance while Roger continued to pace around muttering about his maracas while Brian and John were adjusting the sleeves on their normal clothes.

Freddie continued to talk about the maracas and that's when I picked up on Brian saying.

"You can throw me in the audience." Freddie stood up and he said.

"You don't...you don't rattle as good." That's when he looked over and he must've seen me because his eyes went wide briefly and his face turned solemn. Brian then turned around and he saw me as well hiding in the corner.

"(Y/n)?" everyone soon turned their attention towards me.

"Hey guys, long—time no see, ehh?". Knowing of my story, the assistants, makeup people and roadies all left the dressing room leaving me alone with Queen.

The four men stood before me and neither of us spoke until I finally broke the ice.

"I—I'm really sorry I just left guys I.....I was stupid, selfish, and you guys didn't deserve me at all. I just—I was lost and I know that's no excuse but—you guys didn't deserve to have a broken girl hanging off you just as you were finally about to rise to fame. And now look at you all, famous on pretty much every country, our own home country finally recognizing your talents. If I had stayed I would've just dragged you four down and—" I trailed off as Deacy was the first to stand before me.

Mr. King of the one liners, I've witnessed firsthand of him breaking people with just one phrase or sentence. I could only imagine what he was going to say to me after all this time. You get on John Deacon's bad side and he'll make you know it, for life.

But I was shocked when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a comforting hug. I was frozen but it wasn't until I heard him say.

"You are anything but what you just called yourself poppet." I slowly began to relax as I buried my face into Deacy's chest and wrap my arms around him. I felt him pet down my head much like he did at the funeral and allowed me to let out a couple of tears.

"We understand you needed to process your grief (y/n). We're not mad at you for leaving us." Said Brian. I looked up towards the spaceman guitarist and that's when Roger spoke up.

"But we are disappointed of the way you shut us out for two years." His tone wasn't anger filled or upset, but it did have that disappointing tonality. I lowered my head in shame and I muttered.

"I know."

"We were willing to be there for you in any way you needed. Even if it was just to sit there in silence. We wouldn't have hounded you darling because you didn't need that. It would've been nice to hear your voice again, just to see that you were okay." Said Freddie.

"I'm really sorry guys. I—I came to ask if you'd forgive me." They remained silent and deliberated with each other just by looking at each other and that's when Brian came up and cupped each side of my face.

"There's nothing to forgive love." I felt my lip tremble and I choked out a sob. Soon enough I was once again for the first time in two years, in the middle of a Queen group hug.

I'm glad I chose to come here. I guess in a way it was my sister telling me that even though she was gone, she knew that I would be looked after by four amazing and loving big brothers to look after me for the rest of my days until the day comes when I pass on and be reunited with my best friend once again.

[emotionally-imbruised]

Okay lol I didnt want to send it again and have you had already gotten it lmao. Well I was just thinking like we know how YN was during the time between her leaving Harry's and him and Gemma showing up at her place, but we don't anything about his time. Like, how he felt knowing she left while he was puking for example, and all the rough times during that week and the times he wanted her to hold him, thinking he fucked up, Gemma persuading his sick mopey ass to go to her place. You know? :)

I PROMISE I DIDNT FORGET ABOUT THIS BUT HI HERE SHE IS

Accidentally In Love: Harry’s POV (kinda?)

“What’s the problem, I don’t know. Well, maybe I’m in love.”

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2

A/N: I recommend reading these other parts first to make more sense of this, but like, you do you fam

In the many years, Harry has spent getting to know you from you being one of Gemma’s best friends as well as one of his own, it’s very easy for him to deem you as unpredictable. You like keeping people on their toes. Whether it be with your witty humor or sarcastic remarks, there’s something about making people face the unknown that you find rather intriguing; even if it’s unintentional and at the worst possible times.

During those years of forming a significant relationship with you, Harry also couldn’t prevent the attraction and feelings he developed along with it. However, he tried his best to not do anything in regards to it for the sake of his sister, as well as the thought of there being no chance in hell you felt the same. That was until he decided to invite you over to watch some movies on Christmas Eve because he was sick and didn’t want to be alone. Somewhere in the process of doing something so simple and harmless while cuddled up on his couch, it was determined that you indeed felt the same about him and well, things escalated pretty quickly from there.

As someone who has made out with quite a few people throughout his years, he’d never been so taken aback by how good someone’s lips felt against his own. It was something he found himself getting lost in, and knew he’d continue craving if it were to end before he was ready. He couldn’t get enough of this new sensation and wanted to have you closer – finding pleasure in the way you felt on his lap with your hands being tangled into his curls; moaning against his lips to indicate you're enjoying what’s going on as well… But then his mum and sister walked in.

In the whirlwind of events, the illness Harry had been feeling before all this took over and he had to rush out of the room as his mother and sister silently asked for answers; leaving you to stand there shocked, alone, and unsure of what to do. A few moments later one he finishes emptying the contents of his stomach and finally recollects himself, he is thrown a complete curveball about the entire predicament he’s found himself in. 

“What do you mean she left?” Harry questions his mother with furrowed eyebrows while staring at her through the bathroom mirror’s reflection. A soft sigh escapes his mouth as he reaches forward to turn off the rushing water coming from the tap after he’d just finished brushing his teeth once finally being able to stand up from his hunched over position beside the toilet. He turns around to face his mum but has to take a moment and leans against the sink as he starts feeling a bit nauseous again. “Y/N, s-she really left?”

“Harry, I think you need to go lay down,” Anne’s soothing voice states in a concerned tone, but Harry just closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“Where’s Gemma?”

“I asked her to get a damp cloth for your forehead, you’ve got a fever love,” she continues as he looks at her again. Just as he’s about to say something else – his sister appears in the doorway with a cloth and wastes no time in chucking it towards him as anger takes over her features.

“What the hell was that Harry?” Gem seethes as her brother reaches up to catch the cloth just before it can peg him in the chest.

“Gemma,” Anne warns her daughter, but the oldest Styles sibling just isn’t having it. “Take a couple breaths, please.”

“No, mum. There are literally so many other people he could’ve chosen to mess around with, but he just had to choose my best friend? What even is that?” Her eyes snap to those of her brothers, and boy if looks could kill; Harry would cease to exist. “She’s not one of those fuck buddies that you just get to toss away once you’re done with them, Harry. She's-.”

“Do you not think I know that?” He snaps at her and lets out an aggravated groan as he harshly pushes a hand through his curls. “How could you think I’d ever do something like that to Y/N? Fuck, I need to call her.”

No more words are exchanged between the three as Harry exits the washroom and makes way to the living room to retrieve his cell phone from where it’s laying on the couch. He wastes no time in finding your contact and pressing the call button. The first couple of rings go by and Harry feels his heart pace increase when the other end of the call finally picks up; however, that rapid beating he feels diminishes as your voice chimes in asking him to leave a message and that you’d back to him as soon as you could.

With a defeated sigh, he waits for the tone as he stressfully tugs at his hair. “Hey Y/N, uh yeah, it’s me. Mum told me that you left and well, I really think we should talk about this. Give me a call back when you can, please.” Without any other words, he ends the call and tosses the device aside; thinking you’d call him back once you were home – but unfortunately, that never happens.

The days afterward come and go in a blur for the Rockstar, but not in a good way. He tries to be as positive as he can seeing as his mother and sister flew all the way to LA just to visit him for the holidays, but there’s one thing that is always nagging at the back of his mind despite how hard he tries to focus on literally anything else other than, well, you... And how it seems you’ve very much gone out of your way to ignore him.

You’re all that’s consumed his thoughts, and it’s slowly beginning to eat him alive because he hasn’t been able to talk to you. Did he do something wrong? Was it a mistake finally telling you how he felt about you? Why haven’t you called him back? Are you regretting kissing him?… Maybe you’re just embarrassed and want to pretend like none of this happened, but that is the last thing Harry wants.

Reaching out to you has become a lost cause, and as the days turn into weeks; he continues to send you a message every day in attempts to finally speak with you about all of this. He’s feeling rather pathetic about the whole ordeal, but he cares too much to not keep trying.

Things between him and Gemma have been a bit awkward during this time, to say the least, but with their unspoken sibling pact to not address the elephant in the room until they’re both ready to calmly speak about the matter; they avoid it altogether… Until one day, Gemma decides to change that.

It’s now been over two weeks since Christmas and Harry’s in a rough state. He’s somehow managed to become even sicker than he was before the holiday’s. It’s left him with nothing else to do but wallow in self-pity over everything that hasn’t gone his way as of late – and to watch an unnecessary amount of TV as he remains planted on the couch; jotting down the odd lyric that comes to mind when his eyes need a break from staring at the television screen for so long.

One afternoon, he finally stands up from the couch; wrapped in a blanket as he makes way to the kitchen for a glass of water as a rerun of Shrek 2 starts playing on the television. The opening scene of Shrek and Fiona on their honeymoon can be heard from the other room and has him scoffing at the cliché romance being displayed when he can’t even get a text back, but also has him nodding his head to the catchy Counting Crows song that plays in the background. Soon enough he’s humming along to the few words he recognizes and doesn’t notice the presence that stands behind him now, watching him in his own little world and trying their hardest not to laugh.

“Seriously?” Gemma’s voice speaks up from the doorway, startling the Rockstar. She chuckles as her brother whips around to look at her, and shakes her head before continuing. “This is what your moping has turned into?”

“I have not been moping,” he grumbles and rolls his eyes as Gem leaves the room for a second to go turn off the TV before returning shortly after. “Heeeeey, m’watching that.”

“Not moping hmm? Then what’s with all the sappy rom-coms you’ve been watching for the past two weeks straight?”

“I like rom-coms, and I’ve been sick Gemma,” he replies, narrowing his gaze at her as he moves to the cupboard to grab an Advil for the headache he feels coming on. “Why are you on my case?”

“Have you talked to Y/N?” The older Styles questions, causing Harry to freeze in his tracks completely.

He lets his shoulders slouch before slowly turning back around to face his sister. “No, I haven’t. She won’t answer any of my calls or texts.”

“Thought she might pull something like this on you,” Gemma continues. “She always was a coward when it came to boys she liked. Anyways, I’m going to see her. Are you coming?”

“Right now?” He asks incredulously and looks down at the baggy grey hoodie and jeans he’s wearing; shaking his head as he processes everything. “Wait, when did you talk to her?”

“I haven’t yet,” she explains. “But I’ll send her a text to see if she’s home and we’ll go from there. I’d be surprised if she weren’t though, mum said she seemed pretty sick when they ran into each other last week.”

“Mum and Y/N talked last week, and no one wanted to tell me?” He asks slightly annoyed

“Hey, I only found out last night. Mum and I discussed all of it… this.”

With a heavy sigh, the two know what is to come. The elephant has been addressed, and Harry couldn’t be more relieved but panicked at the same time. He observes his sister as he waits for her to continue, but when she doesn’t; he takes it as a hint for him to speak up. With a deep breath, he prepares himself to tell her how he’s felt for quite some time, and it’s pretty nerve-wracking. “Gem, I know you probably don’t want to hear this because Y/N is your best friend and all… but I like her a lot. I have for a really long time now but was always too terrified to let her know that, and now that something has actually happened between us; I-I just can’t stop thinking about it. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but it’s how I feel and-.” 

“I get it, Harry,” she cuts him off, and sends him a small smile. “I can tell how much her not responding has been bugging you with how much you’ve been sulking around, and not really doing much… This is all very weird. That’s for sure. But who am I to stand between my best friend and brother if they really do have such significant feelings for each other?”

“Do you mean that?”

“I do,” she says with a sigh. “Now, I wouldn’t be offering to take you over to her apartment, so she’s basically forced to talk with you if I wasn’t. So, are you coming or not?”

“Yeah, I’ll go,” he replies with a chuckle, moving around the counter to pull his sister into a little sideways hug. “Thanks, Gem.”

“Don’t thank me yet, you still have to win over your girl.”

Their drive to your apartment is filled with conversation about just how long Harry’s felt this way about you. He explains how he doesn’t even know when he started liking you as more than a friend, but how it’s always been something that was there. He has no issue in telling his sister his favourite things about you, including the little things that just simply have had him wrapped around your finger for years now, but neither of you had bothered to notice.

Gemma can’t help but feel happy for her brother as he goes off about this incredible girl who just so happens to be one of her favourite people on this entire planet. As your best friend she’s always felt protective over who you had relationships with because no one was ever good enough for you in her eyes, but with Harry now stepping up to make that type of effort; it’s just different… a good different, and it makes her smile hearing how much admiration he truly has for you. Once he’s done rambling, she glances at him sideways and smirks to herself. “You love her, don’t you?”

With a deep breath and the pushing of his hand through his hair as he realizes they’re pulling up to your apartment building, Harry can’t help but smile at the thought. “I think I might.”

The two park the car and are soon making way up to your apartment. Much to Harry’s dismay, Gemma doesn’t listen when he suggests just knocking on your door to get your attention and decides to use the key you had given her to just barge on in instead. He doesn’t see your reaction to his and his sister’s sudden appearance, but with the loud thud that sounds from what he assumes is you falling to the ground; he knows they’ve caught you off guard.

He stays back a bit as he watches Gemma help you up from the ground, and observes as two of the most important women in his life interact – happy to see them talking again, but insanely nervous because soon enough he’ll have to speak up. His heart is fluttering like crazy just by being near you again, and as much as he wants to be upset with you for ignoring him; he instantly feels himself melt as soon as your gaze meets his.

“Oh fuck, H,” your voice croaks out before being overwhelmed by an intense coughing fit. He hates seeing you like this and wants nothing more than to pull you against his chest and rub your back until the coughs subside, but knows he shouldn’t.

With a shake of his head, he steps forward and expresses his concern. “Y/N, please tell me you’ve gone to the doctor.”

Before you can answer, Gemma speaks up, and the two of you soon discuss what happened on Christmas Eve. Harry observes as you apologize to his sister, and feels himself relax slightly as it seems you’re not regretful of what had happened between you and him. 

“Can’t say I’m the biggest fan of my best friend and brother being all over each other like the way you two were, but I can say that you two are each one of the few people I think are actually good enough for the other. Y/N, as weird as it is to even think about – you’re one of the best people I could ever imagine my little brother with; and Harry, you’ve got some work to do, but Y/N can help you get to her level,” Gem explains, and Harry scoffs. 

“Thanks?” He mutters, but can’t help the stupid grin that’s stretching across his face because his sister's approval means more to him than she’ll ever know it does. He knows the weight that feels as if it’s been lifted from his chest is what you’re feeling as well, and sends you a knowing look before the two of you move in to engulf Gemma in a group hug against her will. 

Once the eldest Styles has squirmed her way out of your joint hold on her, she mentions how she needs to head out, and soon departs; leaving the two of you alone. 

As soon as she’s out the door, you turn to face the Rockstar, and he awkwardly glances to the ground; not knowing how to approach the situation between the two of you. “H, I was so caught up in worrying about your mum and Gemma I didn’t even consider your feelings in all of this, and I know I’ve said it a lot lately… but I’m especially sorry for how I just left after well, we kissed and-.”

“S’alright Y/N,” he chuckles at your rambling. He steps towards you and feels those damn butterflies in his stomach again, mentally cursing himself for feeling so soft. “I’ve never had a girl walk out on me like that before.”

“Is that supposed to sound appealing to me?” You scoff dramatically. 

“No, I guess not,” he continues laughing, and you let out a huff. “But m’sorry as well because I never told you how I felt about you sooner. It’s been for quite some time now, I’ve just been too much of a coward to do anything about it. S’a bit intimidating having feelings for someone who is not only your sister’s best friend but also one of your own. Not necessarily an easy thing to discuss.”

“We could always start talking about it slowly?” You suggest and smile at him shyly. “Could watch a movie and see where the evening takes us?”

He smirks smugly but slowly nods in agreement; feeling a great sense of deja vu at the idea. “I’d like that.”

With broad smiles, the two of you make way to the couch and bundle up again… together. Once you’re both comfy and all cuddled against the other, you glance up at him and speak again. “It’s your turn to pick the movie.”

He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth as he gazes down at you, wanting nothing more than to crash his lips against yours again as he takes in the way you gaze up at him affectionately. “Let’s watch Shrek. I’ve had a song from that movie stuck in my head for a while now,” he proposes and wraps an arm around your waist, so you’re snuggled up against him even more. With a small smile, you nod before unexpectedly reaching behind his neck to pull him in for a sudden deep kiss.

The action catches him off guard, but he responds instantly by leaning back against the armrest and pulling you with him; firmly gripping your waist so that you remain on top of him as you moan against his lips seductively. 

Maybe you two won’t be watching Shrek after all. 

[childofhalloween]

I know I will sound like a total pervert and I know that the song is not for a heterosexual couple but I would really love you to do a Fanfic Huma based on the song Bestie - Sizzy Rocket (Harry addressing Uma). Please, I hope it's not too much to ask

It defiantly isn’t too much to ask! This was a lot of fun to write & the song is super catchy. Sorry if it turned out kinda long >.

LEMON below! 18 over. Also mentions of drugs & alcohol use. 

 BESTIES

You ever get that metaphorical itch that you just can’t scratch? Harry has has the same one for years now. Just something he wanted so bad that it hurt. 

That something was about 5’3 and scared even full grown men.

That’s right the one thing he wanted more then anything was Uma.

He wanted his best friend….and badly.

This wasn’t new to him he had wanted her ever since he started figuring out sex. She had been a reoccurring figure in his fantasies as well as some interesting dreams.

He knew he wanted her. Everyone else knew he wanted her. It seemed the only person who didn’t know how badly he wanted her was her. She seemed to be blissfully unaware of his feelings putting him into the friend zone so far that she even let him see her naked on quite a few occasions (ok maybe the friend zone had some perks)

There was only one time that she seemed aware of any interest it was almost a year ago.

They had finally gotten to Auradon and we’re both working on going back to school after dropping out together before. Something that was taking all the VKs a little longer than the AKs to finish as most barely had a basic education.

But during their senior year Uma had meet a boy. A boy name Brad. He wasn’t a VK nor was he a hero’s child. No he was nobody. Then again that could be used to describe everything about him. He was plain really no defining features. Nothing to like nothing to hate but nothing to like. Harry couldn’t figure out what it was that got Uma to go out with him but she did. For quite a few months till graduation.

That’s when Harry got a call Uma and Brad broke up Harry thanked his lucky stars he didn’t have to see that…..well Brad anymore. But then again he needed to cheer his best friend up.

To the club it was.

And it was a good time. It was a hell of a good time drinking like fish, dancing to their heart’s content, & enjoying some ‘party favors’ they had scored. In other words they were both extremely cross faded & enjoying every moment of it.

They were in fact too far gone because Harry hadn’t even remembered most the night. But he did remember how tight her dress was. He knew at some point, somehow his hand made its way to her ass. Next thing he knew they were outside in the alley.

He had lifted her up onto some scaffolding learning against a wall. This gave him easier access to her. Her lips were soft and he could still taste the rum of their last shot on her tongue. He couldn’t help but wonder why they had never done this before.

They were both extremely intoxicated not just on the booze but each other. That’s why neither of them heard the creaking at first. It wasn’t until the whole thing came crashing down they heard anything.

Being at the emergency room at 3am trying to explain what happened sobered them both up pretty damn quick. Harry walking out with a sprained wrist and Uma leaving with a few stitches by her hairline and a story neither of them ever brought back up.

That was over a year ago Harry’s wrist healed and Uma was left with a small scar. It wasn’t something anyone would notice you’d have to know and be close.

Harry was looking at the scar holding back the urge to touch it. Neither of them had ever brought back up the night so Harry assumed it meant she didn’t remember it or the fact he put the moves on her.

They went right back to how they had always been friends. But he didn’t mind at all, that was why he was laying across on the couch watching some movie with Uma between his legs as she laid with her back against him.

“God why do these stupid movies on tv all have the same theme?” Uma complained taking a drink of beer.

“How so?” Harry asked he hadn’t actually been paying attention to the movie.

“It’s all about people wanting to fuck their best friend.” Uma said putting her beer on the end table. “I mean seriously not that many people can want to fuck their best friends.”

“I’d fuck my best friend.” Harry mumbled under his breath not thinking. It took him a minute to realize what he had just done. God he hoped she didn’t hear.

But it seemed the Gods weren’t on his side as she suddenly sat up turning to look at him offended.

Shit he did it now. She was pissed and probably gonna hit him. That was if she even agreed to talk with him anymore. Him and his big mouth.

“Harry Hook! I thought I was your best friend!” She said putting a hand on her chest in mock offense.

“Ya know ya are lass. Don’t be dramatic.” He said hoping maybe somehow she missed the fucking part of that.

“Then you want to fuck me?” She asked her tone now deadly serious.

What could he do now? He could lie but then there was the chance that she’d find out and be pissed. He could tell the truth but there was always the chance she would be pissed. It looked like either choice would end up with him getting his ass kicked by her and whoever she decided to send his way.

“Harry!” She barked snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Huh what was it?” He said running a hand through his hair he could already feel his face turning bright red.

“Do.you.want.to.fuck.me?” She said making sure to emphasize every word so he heard.

He sighed there was no win this situation so might as well bite the bullet right? After a long silence he finally spoke up.

“Yeah kinda.” He managed to push out finally.

“Really?” Uma said intrigue sparking in her eyes and a smirk crossing her face. “Guess the feeling is mutual then.” She said with a shrug leaning back against the couch casually as if talking about the weather.

Woah, woah there was no way he heard that correct.

“Wait! What!?!” he said confusion written all over his face.

“Come on think of how many times you’ve seen me naked. Think that was an accident? Or when I let you take me outside the club after you grabbed my ass. Think about it.”

He still couldn’t believe what he was hearing never in a million years did he think she felt the same way he did. How could he be so dim to not pick up on the not so subtle hints? God he was almost as dense as Gil.

“I….I guess I never thought about it.” He admitted looking away sheepishly.

“Well now you know.” Uma said as she moved to face him still sitting between his legs. “So what are we going to do about it?”

This was a loaded question. There were a million things he could do at that moment he could ask what she wanted, think of consequences of doing anything or he could just go for it. But of course being as impulsive as Harry was he knew his answer.

Sitting up he grabbed her chin in his hand a mischievous smile spreading across her face as he did.

“I think I got an idea if ya are up for it.”

Without waiting for answer he tilted her chin up so she was looking at him for a moment before his lips meet hers.

Softly at first almost hesitantly making sure she didn’t want to back out. But she did didn’t pull away in fact she deepened the kiss between them as she ran a hand over his shoulder. There was no way she was pushing away. She had almost forgotten what a good kisser he was.

Soon much like everything else their kisses became full of passion borderlining on violence full of nips to her lips and tugs of his hair. It became a competition over who was in charge neither of them wanted to lose.

Uma was currently straddling her competition running her hands through his hair with a tug. That was when he decided it was his turn to be in charge. Grabbing her by the hips he moved to flip her over but he must of underestimated the size of the couch as they both soon tumbled onto the floor with a loud thud.

They both stopped for a moment taking a second to figure out what happened before they both looked at each other. A smile crossed each of their faces before they burst out laughing.

Harry seized the distraction as his moment to move over her almost pinning her to the ground. He still wasn’t ready to give up control yet.

Before she could even argue or yell at him he bent down his lips finding the crook of her neck. She let out a noise he had never heard from her before but it only encouraged him as he continued to pepper her neck with kisses.

She moved her head to the side giving him better access to her neck. He smirked to himself knowing this was a sign she was giving up control to him as well.

He continued to kiss up and down her neck as his hand found its way to the hem of her shirt. Slowly as if he was worried he scare her off his hand moved under her shirt. He could feel the way her muscles moved ever so slightly under his fingers. He moved higher and higher till he could feel the edging of her bra.  

She suddenly grabbed his hand moving it out of her shirt as she pushed him off her.

God damn it. He did something wrong. He fucked something up. His mind was racing over everything that happened he thought it was going well.

Without saying a word her hands moved to her own shirt. He watched as she slowly pulled it over her head tossing it somewhere across the room leaving her in just her black bra. Copying her his shirt soon followed suit.

She then pulled him back into a kiss as his hands wasted no time on working taking the bra off sliding it off her shoulders as it soon found its way across the room like predecessors.

He pushed her back against the ground again taking a moment to look over the beauty under him. She couldn’t help but look away from gaze almost embarrassed. His hand moved up her stomach fingers feather light coming to her breast.

Cupping her breast gently he gave it a small squeeze. His thumb ran across her perked nipple before giving it a tug. Judging by the deep breath she took he could tell she liked it.

He continued to almost experimenting on breast as his mouth moved back to her neck slowly moving lower till it occupied the spot his hand bad been just moments before.This caused her to let out a small moan as his other hand moved to her other breast.

Harry couldn’t help but notice how her hips slightly rocked. She must of been enjoying all the attention more than he realized.

Moving away from her chest his hand continued to explore her body stopping at the button of her pants. He looked up at her as if asking for permission she knew what he was asking as she nodded slightly.

Sliding a hand gently down the front of her pants he could feel heat radiating off of her. Moving lower he ran a finger down her slit. He could already feel how wet she was even through her silk panties.

Motioning for her to lift her hips up he helped her slide off her pants as well as her panties throwing them to the side.

There she was laying in front of him totally naked and waiting for him to do what he pleased. There was so many things he wanted to do to her at that moment. He could feel his erection pushing painfully against his pants but he pushed that thought away. Right now he had other things to worry about and that was her.

Rubbing her slightly he couldn’t help but smirk as she gasped her eyes fluttering shut. He did it again with more pressure.

“Ya like that love?” He whispered lowly in her ear causing her to shudder never stopping what he was doing.

“Yes.” She choked out quietly he had to admit having her like this was great for his ego.

Wanting to see exactly how far he could go he slipped a finger inside of her causing her let out a groan.  

God was she always this wet or was it just for him? Either way he wouldn’t complain.

Soon he he added another finger inside of her then another it seemed the more he added the more she moaned. Soon her hips were moving against his hand as he finger fucked her.

God he wished to be down there right now. He didn’t care if it was his dick or his face. But he saving that for later. This was time to take things slow. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t get her off.

Nudging her leg farther apart his other hand rubbed against her clit causing her hips to buck. He started rubbing her clit noticing how she squirmed when he did something he liked soon developing a rhythm as his fingers still moved in and out of her.

Her eyes were closed tight and her breathing was coming out in shorter and shorter pants. He had been with enough women to know what this meant.

Never taking his eyes off her face he watched as she suddenly clenched tight around his fingers. He had always wondered what it looked like when she got off but whatever had thought this was so much better.

“Oh wow.” She said catching her breath.

“You ok?” He asked she just let out a laugh before sitting up.

“Yeah…. yeah I am. Now I’m not gonna be the only one here naked lose the pants.” She ordered.

He rolled his eyes at her before moving to his belt before stopping for a moment.

“Wait…ya know once this happens it’s a done deal right? No turning back.” He would never force her into anything she didn’t know want to do or feel indebted to him. If she wanted to stop here he would. She just scoffed.

“Pants now!”

“Bossy.” he said slipping out of his clothes trying to ignore the feeling of her eyes over him

“Shut up Harry.” She said this time it was him on his back as she kissed at his neck.

Unlike him Uma never had the chance to see him naked before. But she couldn’t say she was disappointed. Running a hand down his chest she wrapped a hand around his member stroking it softly.

She could hear him let out a low groan in the back of his throat. That had to be one of the hottest thing she had ever heard. Gripping him tighter she tried to see what other noises she could get out of him never pulling away from his neck where she altering between kisses and bites. She could feel him twitch in her hands.

“Uma…” he mumbled huskily.

“Hmm?” Was her only reply.

“Uma stop.” He mumbled pulling her hand away.

She looked at him raising an eyebrow as she grudgingly pushed away. Better not be anything stupid.

“I need to be inside ya.” It almost came out as a growl.

Ok correction that was the hottest thing she had ever heard. Before he could try to get up again Uma pushed his chest making him lay back down.

“Nuh uh.” She said moving over him as he rolled his eyes.

“Always gotta be in charge don’t cha?”

But before he could say anything else she moved to straddle him. He could feel just the tip of his penis moving into her and God did it feel good. He tried to buck his hips up but she pushed him back down.

Instead she slowly (ungodly slow in his opinion) moved herself down on him. They both knew she was being a tease. She continued to slowly move against him as he fought to try and thrust against her being pushed back every time.

“Stop teasing and fuck me lass.” He hissed out grabbing onto her hips and thrusting in her.

They both let out a moan enjoying the feeling. That must’ve been enough to convince her because she started moving herself at a faster pace as he started to match it with his own thrusting.

Harry could feel her nails dig into his arms as her pace started to pick up. She was soon going at her own speed obviously trying to reach for something herself and Harry happily helped thrusting harder. He could feel her thighs start shaking slightly he she wasn’t going to last long.

And he was right it was only moments later she called out his name as he felt her tighten around him climaxing.

Hearing her say his name coming out of her mouth like that was enough for him. Motioning for her to move he soon reached his own orgasm. (Sure he loved the idea of her having his baby but not yet)

They both laid on the floor or the living room catching their breath. The realization of what just happened hitting both of them. Neither really want to ask the questions that should be asked (Still friends? More? Do it again?)

“Aye Uma…” Harry started looking at the ceiling.

“What?” Uma asked glancing over at him worried.

“Next time I’m on top.”

“You wish.”

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Hey Angel Chapter 98

 *Fast Foward Six Years*

Jackson - 14, Ella - 12, Willow and Wylie - 9, Carter - 6, Poppy - 1 

“Ow,” Harry groaned, “Why do you like pulling Daddy’s hair so much?” He mumbled rubbing his head as he walked into the bedroom. 

You laughed looking over at him as you pulled clothes from the box. “How’s my little baby today?” You asked. 

“I’m fine,” he smirked. 

You rolled your eyes, “Not you,” you said walking over and taking your baby daughter in your arms. “I’m talking about my sweet little Poppy.”

“Oh, she’s doing just fine,” he said. “Let’s see we’ve had a banana, strawberries, and baby oatmeal for breakfast. Then we went for a walk in the trolly around the neighborhood and she just had a massive poopy diaper, so she also got a bath.” 

“Aww did you make sure and poop for Daddy?” You giggled. 

Poppy giggles and claps her hands. Harry rolled his eyes, “You’re lucky I’ve dealt with five other kids before you little miss,” he laughed tickling her belly. 

You laughed, “Thanks for doing all that while I’ve been trying to get all of this straight,” you said. 

You currently were working with a children’s clothing line and they had sent you some samples to look over. It still amazed you on you how much your career had flourished over the years while raising five and now six kids, along with Harry and his schedule. One Direction had gotten back together a few years ago and had been touring off and on since. Now that every member had their own families and they were all in their thirties, they couldn’t tour as much as they did the last time they were together. 

Each of the boys still had their own solo careers as well and Harry had just finished writing for his fifth solo album. 

Jackson was in high school now and he looked more and more like Harry every day. Being in high school meant he was involved in a lot of things, which made it hard to go on tour with Harry. You could tell it was affecting him a lot when Jackson chose to stay with Abby and Hunter whenever he was on the road, even if you and the other kids were going. As much as you loved all of your children, sometimes you miss how things were when you and Harry just had Ella and Jackson because they were still small. 

Ella was becoming a teenager and you knew that she’d be having her period any day now. You had already gone over what that was and what she’d experience a few years ago. Plus, you told her if she was feeling different, but wasn’t sure what was going on, she could talk to you about it anytime. You could tell her hormones were through the roof because she was talking back more and not being the sweet little girl she had always been. 

She wasn’t the worst child ever, but you could tell her body was going through the change. 

Willow and Wylie are at the age where they’re both trying to be separate individuals instead of “The Twins.” They’re still really close and are active in the same activities, but they’re in different classrooms and have their own sets of friends. Wylie looked just like Harry and he reminded you of Jackson, while Willow looked like your little mini-me. The only difference between you and her was that she had the color of Harry’s eyes. 

Carter was the baby you and Harry had planned when Willow and Wylie were three years old. That pregnancy was probably you’re easiest one yet. Unfornately, Harry was at an appearance in New York when you went into early labor, by the time he had made it to the hospital, Carter had already been born. Harry hated himself for a while after that, but eventually, he got over it and moved on. Carter looked like the perfect mix between you and Harry. He had your hair color, but Harry’s curls. He had your nose and eyes, but Harry’s smile and ears. 

He loved watching Harry up on stage and listening to music of all kinds, just like his father. As he got older, he asked Harry to teach him how to play the guitar and he wrote his first song at the age of seven. It was about his love for Mac and cheese, but it was still pretty catchy. 

When it came to Poppy, you and Harry hadn’t exactly planned on it. When Carter was three, you two decided to try again, but it didn’t happen. Because of that, you both decided that you were okay not having any more kids if it wasn’t in the cards. But low and behold a few years later, you found out you were pregnant and as soon as you found out, you told Harry to make a snipping appointment ASAP. 

Because Poppy would be your last kid, at least biologically, you and Harry had mentioned looking into adoption off and on over the years, Harry and you made sure to really savor the pregnancy. He also made sure he wasn’t scheduled to be anywhere else within the weeks of the due date and even a few weeks before that. 

It was weird to think there were a good fourteen years between your and Harry’s oldest and youngest. At first you were a little afraid Jackson and Poppy wouldn’t be close because of the age difference, but of course, Jackson was very hands-on with his siblings. He helped out with feedings and diaper changes during the night and helped Ella with the other siblings during the day. 

Jackson and Ella were still super close and you loved that. You always hoped their relationship would remain the same as they got older. 

**

You were making lunch for you, Harry, and Poppy when his phone rang. He looked at confused before answering it. 

“Hello?” He asked. 

“Is this Mr. Styles?” They asked on the other end. 

“Yes, can I help you?” He asked sitting Poppy in her high chair. 

“Hi, this is Mrs. Kingston from the high school,” she started. “Um, we have your son Jackson in our office because he’s been involved with an altercation.” 

“He was in a fight?” Harry asked quickly. 

“Yes, I’m afraid so. We have a zero tolerance policy and he has been suspended,” she said. “If you could come to pick him up within the next hour.” 

“Oh, yeah, I’ll be right there,” he said before ending the phone call. 

“What’s that about?” You asked. 

“Jackson was in a fight,” he sighed. “He’s been suspended.” 

“Oh my god,” you said. “Do you want us to go with you?” 

He shook his head, “No, it’s fine. It’s almost time for her nap anyway.” 

You sighed nodded, “Call me if you need anything.” 

Harry nodded grabbing his keys and wallet before going to the car. 

**

Harry and Jackson sat in the car in the parking lot of the school. Jackson was holding a bag of ice on the side of his face as he stared out the window. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Harry asked. 

“I heard some grade 12 guys talking shit, so I confronted them about it,” he said. 

“Jackson,” Harry sighed. “One, watch your language, your Mums would kill me if they knew you said shit. Two, what were they say that you felt like violence was the answer?” 

Jackson sighed and took the ice off his face. “They were talking about Mum and Ella.” 

Harry froze, “What do you mean?” 

“I mean it’s obvious that everyone at school knows who you are and knows I’m you’re son... but it also means they know everything about our family. They know Y/N isn’t my real Mum and that Ella... They were talking about Y/N was a whore who got pregnant and you felt bad for her and took her in. They called her a gold digger who’s only talent is fucking and having babies, but that’s not even the worst of it...” he whispered. 

“What else happened?” Harry asked. 

“You know how Ella has a class at the high school?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. 

“She was in the hallway... she was there when the guys were talking about how your not her real father and that it was probably some random one night stand and Mum doesn’t remember who it is,” he whispered. “I saw her standing behind the group of guys and she heard everything. I saw the look on her face and the tears in her eyes. I wanted to go after her, but she ran away, so that’s when I decked the guy in the face and the rest of the guys jumped me.” 

“Oh my god,” Harry whispered. “We need to get to the school now.” 

**

Before Harry could get to the school, you had called him to tell him Ella had shown up at the house, so he drove straight home. As soon as the car was parked, he and Jackson rushed inside. Tears were in your eyes when you saw them walk through the door. 

“She ran up to her room and won’t come out. She locked the door. She told me something happened at school, but she won’t tell me what,” you cried. 

Harry sighed, “Apparently some kids were talking about she wasn’t really my daughter.” 

“What?” you cried. “No, that... I..I knew we should have told her earlier. I didn’t want her to find out like this.” 

Harry took you in his arms and held you tightly. “I know, I know, I didn’t either, but we have to make sure she knows-” 

“So, it’s true?” You all hear a soft whimper from the top of the stairs. “You’re not... you’re not my real Daddy?” 

Harry looked up at Ella sadly as fresh tears streamed down her face and she rushed to her room, slamming the door behind her. 

[childofthenight2035]

Karaoke Night (Part 3) Final

A/N: omg joon is such a bias wrecker i love this concept soft shy joon is adorable

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x g!Reader

Summary/Prompt: Your best friend has never been great at singing during karaoke, until one night you discover that he can do something even better.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None

-

“Are they together now, or something?”

“What the hell, when did that happen?”

“Aw, hell no, not Namjoon, man, I was so close.”

I narrowed my eyes to myself at the last comment straight from JK’s mouth. Talk about a player. He’d been flirting with me a lot recently, but I’d never found it difficult to refuse him. Not when my heart was with the boy I’d grown up with.

Namjoon tensed slightly when he heard JK speak, and I gripped his hand tighter, reassuring him that whatever happens, tonight nothing is going to take me away from you.

I waved to the man behind the counter and he smiled, calling out to an employee to take us to the room I’d booked. We entered, first Namjoon, then me, then the rest of them.

I pulled Namjoon to the most comfortable-looking armchair, which was big enough to seat both of us, albeit a little too close to each other. Namjoon finally pulled off his unzipped jacket and I distinctly heard one of the girls say, ‘holy shit’. I bit my lip to hide my smile. Everyone settled down as the employee took a mic and greeted us. He went through his procedure briefly.

“I think the first song of the night should go to the birthday girl, right?” He asked enthusiastically. I chuckled as everyone cheered. Namjoon grasped my hand and nodded. I stood up, straightening my shirt and took the mic from the employee.

“I’m sorry, but tonight is Random Play night,” he whispered to me. “Songs are selected by the machine, so…just pray you get one you know.”

I sighed deeply and nodded at him. He went behind the screen into a small room where his equipment was stored. I waited for a beat before hearing music.

The tune was a snappy one, and I thanked my lucky stars, because great, I know this song. I caught Namjoon’s grin once he recognized it and he started laughing, because he remembered how long I’d been singing this when it came out. Hey, what can I do, I’d said to him. It’s so catchy.

“You know just what to say, things that scare me, I should just walk away, but I can’t move my feet…” I sang out (horribly, too, because maybe I forgot to mention, I can’t sing that well), my eyes fixed on the screen displaying the lyrics, though I didn't really need them. “Something inside me’s changed, I was so much younger yesterday…”

By then everyone else had started clapping to the beat.

“I didn’t know that I was starving ‘til I tasted you, don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo…” On an impulse, I turned to Namjoon and sang to him, his eyes going a bit wide and looking around quickly at the rest of them. I shook my head and pointed to myself, telling him to focus on me. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees in mock attention. I smiled.

“You know just how to make, my heart beat faster, emotional earthquake, bring on disaster…” I couldn’t believe how accurate the lyrics were right now. I don’t know whether my face betrayed my emotions, but for some reason, Namjoon’s smile had faded, replaced with a look of confusion. “You hit me head on, got me weak in my knees, yeah something inside me’s changed, I was so much younger yesterday…hm…”

I avoided looking at him for the rest of the song and once I’d finished, everyone clapped. My eyes fell on my roommate and she was smirking broader than I’d ever seen. It’s lucky it’s dark, I thought, a Harry Potter quote popping into my head. I haven’t blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs.

I plopped down into my seat and Namjoon shifted uncomfortably.

“You did well,” he said quietly as a new song began to play and Tae jumped up to snatch the mic before JK could. I paid no attention to them.

“I did?” I asked. He nodded and I leaned against his shoulder. I felt his body tensing under the pressure and my hand found his, fingers intertwining. “Thank you for coming, Joon-ah,” I whispered. His thumb ran over my knuckles absentmindedly, choosing not to respond to what I said.

I don’t remember much else about who sang what for the rest of the night. I only remember the terrible duet that my roommate sang with her boyfriend and at one point, when JK was singing (boy can sing, damn), he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and beckoned for me to join him where the rest of his girlfriends were dancing. I shook my head and shooed him away, instead linking my arm with Namjoon’s. JK only glanced at Joon, shrugged and then waltzed away. Or grinded away, I should say.

The entire time, Joon and I were talking about all sorts of things, from previous birthdays to childhood memories to books to art, but carefully avoiding the concept of crushes. I barely realized the night was over.

“Let’s get the birthday girl on her feet again to wrap up tonight, shall we?” our faithful employee boomed. I sighed, rolling my eyes and stood up again. Once I’d planted my feet on the raised platform, I looked back at Joon and gestured for him to come up. He shook his head.

“Come on, Joon,” I spoke accidentally through the mic. “You haven’t sung anything all night.”

“It might not be a duet,” he countered, pointing at the screen.

“What does it matter?” I retorted. “Please, Joon, you’ve never passed up the chance to sing before.” I could hear the gears revolving in his head as he tried to decide, but finally, with a heavy groan, he stood up.

               I flashed a thumbs-up to the employee. The smooth strains of a song filled the room and I gasped in delight as I realized which song it was.

“Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like,” I sang out confidently, earning a chuckle from my roommate. “Don't think that I can explain it, What can I say, it's complicated…”

               I hitched my breath as I suddenly remembered that the male part of this duet was a rap. Aw hell, I thought. What have I dragged Joon into? This is all my fault.

               I saw Namjoon gripping the mic tightly in both of his hands. The beat dropped.

               “Nothing's that bad, If it feels good, So you come back, Like I knew you would.”

               My mouth dropped open as I witnessed the scene unfolding in front of me. I stared at Namjoon as he let go of his insecurity and got down on that beat, like holy shit, this dude can RAP.

“And we're both wild, And the night's young. And you're my drug,

Breathe you in 'til my face numb, Drop it down to that bass drum

I got what you dream 'bout, Nails scratchin' my back tatt, Eyes closed while you scream out

And you keep me in with those hips, While my teeth sink in those lips

While your body's giving me life, And you suffocate in my kiss, Then you said-“

The room fell silent, hushed, listening to him. His voice wasn’t well suited to sing, but it was perfect for this.

               “I want you forever, Even when we're not together

               Scars on my body so I can take you wherever like

                I want you forever, Even when we're not together

               Scars on my body I can look at you whenever…”

                 I was too busy trying to wrap  my mind around this new discovery that I didn’t even realize it was my turn to sing. Joon smacked me on the head.

               “Oh crap, If you only knew the bad things I like, Don't think that I can explain it, What can I say, it's complicated,” I sang, dazed, struggling to get back in tune.

               “I can't explain it, I love the pain

                And I love the way your breath, Numbs me like novocaine…”

               My roommate stood up and whistled, I’m telling you, she whistled. Then hell broke loose, you could barely hear him rapping over the cheers of the girls and the boys’ impressed yells.

               “Let me paint the picture, Couch by the kitchen

                Nothin' but your heels on, Losin' our religion

               You're my pretty little vixen, And I'm the voice inside your head

               That keeps telling you to listen to all the bad things I say…”

               “Namjoon-ah,” I breathed.

                         “I want you forever even when we’re not together,” both of us sang at the bridge in the song. Namjoon’s hand reached out to grab my waist and he pulled me toward him. Whoa, where was this confidence coming from? “Scars on your body so I can take you forever…”

               “Am I out of my head, am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like…So good, that you can’t explain it, what can I say, it’s complicated…”

               The music died out and my friends all began cheering wildly and making a huge ruckus.

               In the middle of that disaster, we locked eyes.

               “Y/N…” he began, but I cut him off.

               “Namjoon-ah,” I whispered. “Just kiss me.”

               I didn’t need to ask twice. His lips melted against mine, moving smoothly, and I felt like I was in paradise. A warm tingling sensation coursed through my body as his hand found the back of my neck and gripped tightly, pulling me closer. My hands rested on his abdomen and I relished the firmness that was there.

               We broke apart, gasping a little, and I felt the stares of nine people on us, but I didn’t care. Right now, we were in our own little bubble and come what may, I wasn’t about to let anything break it.

               I vaguely heard my roommate letting out an exaggerated ‘yes!’ but all my senses were focused only on Namjoon.

               “How long?” He asked me quietly.

               “A damn long time,” I replied. “How long?”

               He blushed. “Forever.” He engulfed me in his arms and kissed my forehead. “Forever.”

 -

A/N: so thats the end of our little fic thanks for reading!

[bulletproofcarats]

Hey Stranger

SeungcheolxReader, 

Fluff, angst

Messages in a bottle don’t always reach you on time.

The first time you met Seungcheol, you were busy tiptoeing to reach the top of the bookshelf.

“Almost…there.” You muttered to yourself as your fingers grazed the spine of the book you were reaching for when suddenly, another hand grabbed the book before gently taking yours and placing it on your hand.

“Here.” You looked up to thank the person who had helped you.

Dark black hair, a handsome looking face with a sharp jaw with a sharp nose and dark brown eyes along with full lips.

“Thank…Thanks.” You stuttered out. He smiled at you before glancing at the book cover. “Harry Potter?”

You beamed at him. “Its my favourite. Yours too?”

He shook his head. “Not really. But it’s okay.” Your jaw dropped.

“But how can you not it have love it? It’s so amazing and wonderful and magical and…oops I’m blabbering.” You shook your head in disbelief. The guy in front of you chuckled.

“So I take it you are a fan of the series?”

“Yes.” You said proudly. “Not just this series. Any good ones, like Percy Jackson and…wait, I’m going to blabber again.”

“No continue, I don’t mind.” He gave you a lazy smile as he leaned against the shelf. You blushed slightly.

“But what are you doing here? Aren’t you going to read?”

“Me? I’m waiting for a friend who-” There was a vibration and the guy took a phone out of pocket before checking it and sighing.

“Who stood me up.” He finished.

“Well then, stranger,” You don’t know what triggered you into doing it. “Why don’t you hang out with me instead?”

He glanced up from typing away furiously on his phone screen in surprise. “You sure? I thought you wanted to read the book which you had so much difficulty reaching.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that hidden remark about my height. But yeah, I’m sure.”

He crossed his arms. “Well then, okay. Let’s go somewhere where you can blabber on about books then. And I’m not stranger, I’m Seungcheol.”

-

“I stilł can’t believe that you ordered a butterbeer frappuccino and that the barista actually got it.” Seungcheol raised an eyebrow at you.

You shrugged. “I told you, I love Harry Potter and so does the whole universe..”

“And for the past twenty minutes, I gathered The Mortal Instruments, The Fault in Our Stars and The Hunger Games as well.”

“Well there’s more…” You gave him a coy smile. “But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“You know, things you do, like and all.”

“Well, I like sports.” He told you as he sipped his hot chocolate.

You frowned. “That’s all? What sport do you do?”

He winked at you. “Guess.”

“Basketball? Rugby? Football?” Seungcheol raised his eyebrows.

“None to do with balls.”

“Let me off easy. Or I’ll flip you with that karate move which I saw in a movie not too long ago.”

Seungcheol snorted. “Joke’s on you then. I do Taekwondo. Its been seven years.”

Your jaw dropped. “No way.”

“I did say the joke was on you.”

-

You were pretty sure you could hear Seungcheol sniffling.

Or maybe you were sniffling too much that you had been imagining him doing the same thing too.

No one could blame you honestly, being a Harry Potter addict, obviously you would cry over Dobby’s death. It was tragic.

You snuggled deeper into the cushions of the sofa of your small but comfortable apartment, which Seungcheol had barged into before declaring that since it was a Saturday night and you both had nothing to do, it was good to watch a movie.

It had been a few months since you two had met at the library and even if you had been surprised, you said nothing but went to prepare popcorn as Seungcheol made himself comfortable on the sofa.

“Honestly,” you muttered. “I believe you only came here for free popcorn.”

“Can’t blame me.” Seungcheol gave you a lazy smile as he grabbed a handful of freshly prepared ones. “Who can resist a lazy day in?”

Halfway into the movie, messed up blankets, a half finished tub of popcorn and two finished cans of soda, you turned to Seungcheol who sat beside you, rubbing your eyes.

“You’re crying.”

“Am not. You’re the one crying too loud.”

“Your voice is cracking a little. I bet you’re sniffling. You know it’s okay to cry right? Dobby’s death gets me every time. See? I’m crying too.”

He reached over to grab another handful of popcorn without turning to face you.

“I’m not sniffling, Y/N. You are the only one contributing to all that crying.”

Ah well, he asked you for a tissue two minutes later.

-

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate you Seungcheol, may a car hit you too.”

Seungcheol laughed. “I know I’m a very catchy person, Y/N, but don’t go spouting poetry in my behalf.”

“You jerk.” You hissed. “That was the last slice of red velvet cake.”

“So? You had three slices already. I figured I’d eat the last one to even things out.”

“How does you eating five and me eating three even things out?”

“Hmm.”  Seungcheol propped his fingers on his chin and pretended to think about it. “I’m taller than you. I should eat more, you eat a lot already.”

“I don’t care how much I eat. I call bullshit.”

“You can call bullshit all you want.” Seungcheol rubbed his stomach. “It’s all in here.”

You tackled him to the ground. “Tickle fight!”

Laughing, Seungcheol rushed to defend his sides as you prodded him with your fingers. “Hey!”

“This is payback. Suffer! Villian, food hoarder!” You yelled as Seungcheol grabbed your wrist to prevent you from reaching his hips again.

“Its unfair that only you tickled me.” He pouted before smirking. “Here, I’ll pay you back double time.”

You screamed as he prodded your sides twice as much without relenting.

A few minutes later, the both of you lay on the grass, panting non stop. “I can’t believe it’s autumn already.”

“Neither can I.”

Indeed, the crisp reddish orange and golden brown leaves were all around you two and you smiled to enjoy the wind that gently blew past.

“You know,” You began, “I never really asked you, but what do you want to do in the future?”

“Me?” He turned to look at you. “A singer. I want people to like my songs. You?”

You shrugged. “Get into University as a science major. Are you sure you can even sing, food hoarder?”

“I’ll sing for you someday then.”

“Sure, and I’m gonna rest while I see if I should deem the fact you can sing believeable.”

Seungcheol however, had no intention of resting.

“Come on, let’s make piles of leaves and dump each other in them.”

-

“My parents are having a small gathering for my relatives.” You told Seungcheol as you munched on a packet of chips on the park bench.

“And?” He raised an eyebrow at you as he popped the popsicle in his hand into his mouth.

“I don’t want to go. Its stuffy and boring.”

“Like you?” Seungcheol snickered. “I was joking.”

“You have no idea what my relatives are like. Harping after my results, whether I’m dating, how much I’ve grown each year or every few months.”

Seungcheol shrugged. “Good luck Y/N. I can’t save you.”

“What? You’re just gonna leave me to die?”

“Yep.”

“How could you?” You whined. “I don’t wanna go all the way to street sixty and see them. My relatives are a bunch of irritating birds.”

“That’s not even a creative insult.”

You rolled your eyes.

-

You jerk. Do you know how much I’m suffering?

You glared at your phone screen before smiling politely at one of your aunts.

“Y/N ah, how old are you already? Eighteen?” She asked you, before tittering as you nodded your head.

“Are you dating anyone?”

You swallowed the groan that threatened to escape your mouth before mumbling a no to her.

“That’s too bad. You know my daughter, your cousin Areum has so many boys who fancy her that she can’t even decide who to date.” You scoffed to yourself. Areum was barely a year older than you and your aunt was actually making her sound like she was a princess with a long line of suitors.

Really? Suffer more.

You made a few rude gestures with the available emoticons on your phone before giving your aunt a forced smile that you were pretty sure must have looked like a grimace.

She’s asking me if I have a boyfriend.

Say no.

I did already.

“You know, I could perhaps ask Areum to introduce you to some of her guy friends. I know you are still, young, but it wouldn’t hurt to date abit.”

What was she, your mother? Speaking of which, your mother was busy cooking in the kitchen while your dad was in the next room with your uncles, which meant you were alone to fight this battle.

“Uh, no thank you. I’m not interested in dating.”

You excused yourself to the bathroom before resting against the sink and sending another text through your phone.

She wants to introduce me to some guys. I’m only eighteen for god’s sake, not some unmarried twenty nine year old prude.

Does your parent’s house have anything different from your neighbours’?

You frowned.

Uh, it’s the only one with a gray and white roof. Why?

He did not reply, and when you finally emerged from the bathroom, the doorbell rang.

“Y/N ah, someone’s outside our house. He says he’s here to pick you up for the group project you have later.” Your mom called.

You didn’t have any group project. You opened your mouth to protest as you went to the gate where your she was.

“Mom, I don’t have a-”

Seungcheol stood outside, with his hands in his jean pockets and a bag slung over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I know this is abrupt and we were supposed to meet at the park near here before going to meet with the others together but the teachers moved the deadline to Monday and we need all the time we can get and edit the project, I got the message since I was the group leader.”

What was going on?

“Mom I-”

“It’s alright Y/N ah, your studies are important too and you’ve been here for three hours already.”

You turned to Seungcheol, mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish, and he winked at you. It dawned on you that there was no group project at all.

Seungcheol had just provided the exit for you to waltz through without having to deal with your aunt again.

“I’ll…I’ll just go get my things.”

Your mom went back into the house with you as you grabbed your handbag and she smiled at you.

“Y/N ah, why didn’t you tell me you had such a handsome friend?”

You shook your head as you hugged her. “I’ll go say goodbye to dad and the others. See you soon.”

-

“How the hell did you even turn up that quickly after I sent that text?”

“You said it was at street sixty.”

“Meaning you just happened to be around there?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

He shrugged. “I saved you okay. From being introduced to some guy who you never met. Least you can do is not question me and thank me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thank you Captain Kind.”

He grinned at you. “Treat me to ice cream.”

“No.”

“You know it could be a form of payment right? For me saving your ass.”

You snorted. “I think a group leader can buy ice cream for himself.”

-

“See I knew you’d buy me ice cream in the end.” Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair as he smiled at you while eating his ice cream and you ate your own.

“I saw the benefits of buying it for myself at the same time since the store said buy one get one free.”

“I’ll just take it that you love me.”

“I love you not.”

“You don’t need to lie. It’s bad for your health.”

The two of you ate in silence, leaning against the railing outside the convenience store, watching cars zoom by before Seungcheol spoke again.

“I sent in my audition tape to a company.”

It had almost been a year since you found out that Seungcheol wanted to be a singer.

“It’s probably not going to make it though. I figured I’d just try it out.”

“You didn’t tell me before.” You said.

“I didn’t want to disappoint you by saying I was going to do it but then back out on it.”

“But you sent it in the end.”

“It might not even make it.”

“It will.”

But a part of you wondered, the ice cream in your hand forgotten, having known Seungcheol for close to two years, when it really did, what would happen?

-

“The movies.”

“The beach.”

“The movies.”

“The beach!”

“Well I said the movies first, so the movies!” Seungcheol folded his arms as he looked at you.

You narrowed your eyes. “I’m sorry, I said the beach by a second earlier. So we are going to the beach.”

Seungcheol blew a raspberry at you.

“Maybe I’ll tell Jisoo about the time you spilled honey mustard sauce on his white shirt.”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t. My brother will murder me.”

“Oh, but I would.”

“Fine.” He pouted. “But this is blackmail.”

You laughed. “Don’t be a sore loser. You just aren’t as sly as me.”

“Damn right, you Slytherin.”

-

The soft breeze that blew along the beach ruffled the tendrils of hair that had escaped from behind your ears as the both of you sat on the plastic sheet that had been laid out on the sand and bit into the sandwiches that had been brought along.

“Honestly I actually think coming to the beach was a good idea.”

You beamed. “Just look at this weather!”

“I meant the food.”

“Can you stop it with the food?”

“What? It’s bacon sandwich!”

You rolled your eyes as you drunk from your shared bottle of soda before standing up and walking towards the water.

The sea breeze was wonderful, the water was sparkling and clear, and the waves rolling in blended in with the picture as ships sailed on from afar.

“I bet it’s even more beautiful at night.”

You turned to find Seungcheol standing beside you, one hand in his pocket while the other held onto the bottle of soda.

“Really, huh? I’ve never had the chance to see it at night.” You murmured.

“Me neither. How about we see it together one day?”

You smiled softly as you looked up at him.

“Sure, why not?”

You could almost imagine it, the beautiful scenery of the beach at night, the distant lights sparkling in the horizon, the mist that would cloud things up abit, the stars twinkling in the night sky as the waves lapped against the shore…

“Oh, I think I finished the bottle of soda.”

You snapped back to reality as you narrowed your eyes at the bottle, which was indeed empty in Seungcheol’s hand.

“Choi Seungcheol…how dare you…”

He put up both hands as he fished a marker and notebook out of his pocket.

“Hey hey, I’ll show you something fun to do with the empty bottle.”

You narrowed your eyes as he scribbled something onto a piece of paper in he notebook and rolled it up before sliding it into the bottle, capping it and signing his name on the bottle and handing both the marker and the bottle to you.

“There. Sign your name too.” You narrowed your eyes, but did it anyway, signing your name beside his.

Seungcheol took back the bottle before walking to the edge of the water and gently set it floating, the both of you watching as the waves carried it out to the sea, further and further away until you both strained your eyes to see it.

“It’s a message in a bottle. You write something in it and set it out to the sea.”

“Like a wish?”

Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair. “It depends on what the sender wants.”

“Well, what did you want? What did you write?” You looked at him curiously, the fact that he had finished up the soda long forgotten.

“Me?” Seungcheol tilted his head. “Everlasting friendship.”

-

“I don’t know Seungcheol, isn’t it August ninth today?”

Seungcheol narrowed his eyes at you. “Uh uh, Y/N, bring it out. I know you got a gift for me.”

You rolled your eyes before pulling out a box from a paper bag and throwing the paper bag at him.

“The headphones you were eyeing two weeks ago. It cost me half my life so your ass better be grateful for it. And here’s a cake which I personally decorated.”

Seungcheol pulled out the headphones and grinned at you. “It’s white.”

“Yes, I got your favourite colour too.” You said as you opened the box which contained the small cake inside and set it on the small coffee table in the living room.

“Wow, you’re being so kind to me on my birthday, though your hand at icing is pretty much an eyesore.”

You muttered something under your breath before smiling sweetly.

“Let’s see you talk more about how I do my decorations when this day is over.”

“Why, are you going to make me grovel before you?” He teased as he cut a piece of cake and passed it to you on a plate.

“Maybe I should have put Happy Birthday loser instead of your name on it. You certainly seem to fit the title very well.”

Seungcheol punched you softly in the arm before picking up a small stack of envelopes and flyers near the edge of the table.

“These came in the mail today. Birthday vouchers, agency flyers….oh.”

He looked up to you, back at the stack of envelopes in his hands, at you again, and back again. You stopped with your fork halfway to your mouth.

“What?”

“A letter came. From the company I sent my audition tape to.”

A letter. From… “Well? What does it say?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.” Ripping open the envelope, he scanned through the contents of the letter before his face broke into a wide grin.

“They accepted me. They say they want me to go down to see my skills in person before deciding what type of contract they would sign with me.”

Your eyes widened. “That’s…That’s good! Isn’t it a timely birthday present?”

Seungcheol shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe it.”

You couldn’t either. But, what was it you couldn’t believe, that your best friend’s dreamed has gotten achieved, or that you might be this close to losing him?

-

“You’re treating aren’t you?” Seungcheol asked you as both of you approached the door of the restaurant, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Yes.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m positive you cheated on the card game.”

Seungcheol gave you a scandalized look. “Its called luck. And don’t be a sore loser.”

You muttered under your breath as you pushed the door open, a faint thinking of bells indicating both of your entrances into the tiny restaurant, which was filled with customers sitting around tables in small cushioned chairs.

The barbecue place was where the two of you had managed to accidentally find one day after stumbling around a nearby mall and being close to starving, and it had become a place where the two of you would come to eat at when it felt like it.

“Ah it’s you two.” The owner came up to your table. “Who’s paying this time?”

“Me.” You narrowed your eyes at Seungcheol who raised both eyebrows at you.

“So you lost the game this time? It sounds fair to me. Poor Seungcheol paid for the last three times.” The owner beamed at you.

“Ahjusshi! Even you are supporting him?”

“Enough talk Y/N! I’m hungry! Three servings of meat and make sure you give us your most expensive fruits today too Ahjusshi, thank you!”

-

“You never got to sing for me.” You murmured as you hugged Seungcheol tightly at the airport.

Seungcheol ruffled your hair. “I’ll sing for you in the future. I’ll even write a song specially for you.”

“Call me?” He laughed.

“Yes mam.”

The company had accepted him but he had had to fly over to Seoul, where the company was officially sited to begin his training life there, and was set to debut as a solo artist in a year or so.

“Time will fly fast. I’ll soon be a famous singer with a bookworm for a best friend.”

“Well, make sure you visit your best friend even before you become famous.”

“Yes mam. So I’ll have to sing for you, write a song for you and visit you. Everything inside has a you in it. Happy?”

-

Seungcheol did call you and text you daily for the first few months.

“Hey Y/N. You wouldn’t believe what happened at dance practice today.”  You smiled at his voice over the phone.

“What? You landed on your ass?”

-

“They had a small Harry Potter both set up outside the company yesterday! You would have loved it. Everything was so cheap and nice!”

“You better have gotten one for me Seungcheol.”

“I didn’t. Kidding.”

-

“I ate Bibimbap yesterday. Did you eat kimchi again?”

“Yes Y/N. Kimchi in that restaurant near the dorms is quite delicious.”

“You really should have some good meat you know. The owner of the barbecue shop we used to go to misses us.”

-

Yet it soon reduced to short calls or texts which told you good morning or goodnight, and the last time you heard from him, it was the day before his debut.

“It’s tomorrow isn’t it?” You murmured into the phone.

“Yeah it is. I’m so nervous. What if people don’t like the song I wrote?”

“It’s going to be fine Seungcheol. I’m sure you did a great job with it. I listened to it, remember? I loved it.”

Seungcheol chuckled nervously on the other end of the line. “You did?”

“Obviously. It’s you who wrote it. Of course you are going to do great tomorrow.”

Of course he did great.

You saw him on TV and you couldn’t stop smiling even after because boy did he look great and he bombed his performance.

Which led to his popularity almost rising instantly.

“Yah! How could you hardly contact me since your debut.” Seungcheol looked at you sheepishly through his side of the video call which he had managed to squeeze into his time.

“Sorry Y/N. Things are so hectic here.” You rolled your eyes.

“I know, you know you did so well for your debut. I’m not surprised.”

“You know I got that song written for you right? Just that the company’s shelving it for another concept.”

“I can’t wait to hear it.”

Variety shows, encore stages, a few advertisements and so much more, Seungcheol hardly had time to contact you due to his busy schedule, and between the short texts of good morning and good night, it soon dwindled to nothing at all.

You minded of course, but you’d keep a smile on your face as you texted him, because he was living his dream as a successful singer.

So successful that everywhere you went, you could hear people talk about him.

“You know Choi Seungcheol’s album? My parents got me the special edition for my birthday.”

“Really? You are so lucky! I wish mine were this nice too.”

You leaned against the bookshelf of the stationary store, smiling sadly as the pair of school girls walked past you.

He’d come back to visit soon after promoting, right?

-

A year passed and Seungcheol produced many songs, each better than the last. Yet, having hardly contacted Seungcheol much, you didn’t know whether one of them was the song he had written for you.

It could have been the one titled Adore you, or maybe Shining Diamond? You didn’t know.

It was rather hard to tell between a few hi’s, byes, small jokes via text and everything else, since you had also gotten into a university and all your studies were catching up on you as well.

Well before things did get too busy for even you to take, you decided, as you popped open your soda bottle at the beach, you’d keep track of the past year and maybe leave it to fate to decide what to do with the record.

Seungcheol wasn’t the only one capable of making records after all.

Taking out a notepad and a pen, you began writing.

-

Both of you were so busy with different types of schedules between part time working, studying and singing and that as you were passing by the gate of the university to wait beside the traffic light, your eyes popped open in shock when you saw a text from Seungcheol.

I’ll be coming back the day after tomorrow Y/N. I’m sneaking back since I’m on a small break from my last comeback. One year apart with just texts and rare video calls is killing me.

I remember my promise to sing something for you. I wrote a song for my next album you already you know? Its for you. I remember my promise.

You remembered smiling and texting him a paragraph as the light turned green and you stepped out onto the road before-

A screech, flying in the air, screaming, blackness.

And then nothing.

-

He stood on the sand, near the waves, a bottle with your name signed on top of it and a piece of paper unfolded in his hand.

Hey stranger Should I really be calling you stranger? I don’t know really. But its what I said the first time we met. But do you know the meaning of a message in a bottle? Of course you did, if you were the one who taught me about it in the first place.  It was a form of communication for distress messages, invitations to prospective pen pals, letters to actual or imaginary love interests. I’m communicating with you alright, but it’s definitely not a distress message because I’m happy where I am, waiting for you to come back.

Where to start? Maybe how we first met. Who would have thought that the bookworm who was trying to reach the top of the bookshelf at the library would become friends with someone who got stood up by another friend at the library? Or that we’d become so comfortable with each other and be fast friends? Or that we’d tease each other so much and even be able to play along and act with each other? I don’t know really. If fate brought this pair of friends together, then fate shall make sure this bottle finds the other half of the pair one day.

The past year’s been rather lonely without you, you idiot. Having the television and earpieces with your music and performances does not count. Do you still have an obsession with food? You’ve written so many songs that I don’t even know if there’s one which I can’t identify on the spot. You’ve achieved your dream as a singer, you know? People listen to your songs and love your albums here, definitely in other parts of the country and world too. I guess I’m lucky to have such a talented best friend.

University’s busy too. Lectures, projects, slides and trying to hound the professor with questions after lectures are exhausting as well. But it keeps me busy and from thinking and worrying too much about you all the time.

I’ll wait for you to come back and keep your promise? We haven’t spent a night at this beach yet. You owe me a lot of promises so I’ll take this beach as sacred ground when I keep this message in a bottle and send it out to sea.

Love,

Y/N

Fate indeed.

Cruel, if it had caused you to die in a car crash two days before he sneaked back and heard the news.

Beautiful but even more cruel if it had prompted him to come to this beach to mourn silently.

Extremely cruel and sad if the bottle had just floated to his feet while he looked aimlessly out to the horizon as the sea breeze blew.

And maybe the most cruel of all if the last if everything you had told him was about promises.

Because the last text you sent had been

Choi Seungcheol you have more than just one promise to keep.

-

Three months later, a figure dressed in a hoodie stood on the same beach with a plastic jar in hand, under the night with stars spread across the dark sky.

Pressing the play button if the cassette player, the same figure placed it in the jar along with a small letter, before closing the lid and setting it out to sea.

Hey Y/N,

Here’s to the night on the beach which we couldn’t see together.

And here’s to another promise I couldn’t keep,

From the idiot of a best friend who couldn’t keep his promise.

Now playing

Choi Seungcheol’s album

Record 01

Don’t Wanna Cry

~Admin Waffle

[storybymandy]

Something Borrowed

Descendants Carlos/Jay PG-13 6706 words

Carlos is trying to survive on the Isle but Jay has decided otherwise.

“Cruella De Vil, Cruella De vil, if she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will.”

Cruella De Vil was evil, no one would deny that. Her tale of kidnapping puppies to turn them into a fur coat was notorious in London. But this was The Isle of the Lost, and frankly, that devil woman wasn’t feared anymore.

Except by her very own son.

Carlos De Vil had been brought up to serve his mother’s selfish desires. That’s how Carlos was probably born too. His mother had no love for him, only orders, and if she had any feelings that remotely resembled love, it was all directed to her furs, car (her baby) and smoking those poisonous cigarettes. Which made Carlos’ job of cleaning that much harder.

Carlos would frequently vacant the Hell Hall, ignoring his mother’s screeches as much as he possibly could allow himself and would go walking in the dirty streets of the Isle. He didn’t have anywhere else to go, his house, school, there was no escape from this prison island.

He was 15 and would leave his mother and her abuses but then what? The Isle was small and Carlos had no doubt in his mind that the infamous Cruella De Vil would find him and drag him back by his leather jacket to the cold bear-trapped floor of his house, even guilt him into it, just like she frenziedly hunted those dalmatians down. He had thought about it a million times and in all scenarios he ended up back where he started.

Carlos kicked a small rock on his path and sighed heavily. He was walking the busy market street of the Isle with the sole purpose of getting away from his mother’s evil claws.

It was always busy around here and Carlos would just drown in the noise and complaints of the mob. He eyed the displayed tables as he passed by. You never knew what you could find, though Carlos was mostly looking for parts to complete his radio. He approached the stands, not hoping too much for anything as he had learned the hard way.

But there it was, among the pile of junk he was used to see: a cigarette holder. It was dirty and the paint had peeled off but Carlos had never seen anything more perfect. His mom would love it, which would put her in a good mood, which would let Carlos breath a little.

Carlos searched his pockets and considered his whole fortune. He always kept the change when he was sent shopping for his mother, that was his allowance, and Carlos would always skip lunch to afford parts for his inventions.

He showed the coins in his hand and pointed at his prize.

Carlos couldn’t help but skip out of the street once he got what he wanted and as soon as he turned the corner he started to run. He knew the perfect place to fix this rusty item. He went into a full sprint and almost crashed in a man pulling a wagon of hay. He halted, catching his breath, in front of Lady Tremaine’s Curl Up and Dye and pushed the door timidly. In all honesty, the Lady Tremaine scared the shit out of Carlos; she had those piercing green eyes that reminded him of Maleficent, but he inhaled deeply and called through the opening of the metal door.

“Dizzy?”

When he didn’t get any answer, Carlos poked his head inside and found the red-headed little girl bobbing her head, sitting at a table, music blasting from her headphones. Carlos smiled and let himself in, dancing his way into the salon to tap little Dizzy Tremaine’s shoulder.

She jumped in her seat and screamed with joy when she saw who her visitor was.

“Carlos, hi! Is Evie with you?”

Carlos wasn’t surprised this was her first question, he got to know Dizzy through Evie and they were like sisters.

“Eh- no. Sorry.”

Carlos felt like he always was a disappointment. Not wanted by anyone. Of course Dizzy would like to see Evie more than him. They both had so much in common and talent for fashion. Carlos fancied himself a fashionista but it was nothing compared to the two. Dizzy was Lady Tremaine’s granddaughter and helped her around the salon (if not ran it all together). She was kind and bubbly unlike the other VKs. Carlos liked her.

“That’s okay,” Dizzy smiled at Carlos. “What can I do for you?”

“Well,” Carlos made a pout as he put his hand in his jacket’s inner pocket. “I was wondering if you could fix this up?” He showed Dizzy the old cigarette holder he had acquired earlier.

“That looks pretty cool,” Dizzy adjusted her glasses to get a better look. “Is it for your mother?”

It was obvious really but Carlos still felt uncomfortable at the question and awkwardly shrugged.

“Could you paint it red?” He asked to reroute the conversation.

“Of course!” Dizzy beamed. “And we could add some gold and a glossy coating to make it really shine.”

Carlos allowed himself a smile. It was undeniable that Dizzy had a knack for this.

“Thank you so much,” Carlos was really grateful. “I will pay you later, I promise, but I kind of need it as soon as possible.”

Carlos knew it was selfish but he was also a man of his word.

“Don’t worry about it,” Dizzy brushed it off. “It’s my pleasure. I’m always happy to help a friend of Evie’s.”

Friend.

Carlos could never get used to the word. But it would be a lie if he said he didn’t like the sound of it.

“I’ll be over in no time,” Dizzy carefully took the cigarette holder from Carlos’ hand. It seemed that Dizzy had the ability to find joy in everything she did and Carlos was so envious. Living on the Isle, and somehow she had managed to keep her innocence. It was a good think she looked up to Evie because ironically, the Evil Queen’s daughter was the sweetest girl Carlos had ever known.

He peeked behind Dizzy’s back as she prepared all the ingredients she needed to make that rusty cigarette holder all new and shiny again. Carlos was fascinated, the way Dizzy moved with such ease.

“Can you please sit down?” Dizzy giggled. “You’re distracting me.”

“Oh sorry.” Carlos sat on the dryer chair that had the less hair dye gel on it and waited patiently, tapping his fingers on his lap. The salon had a whole bunch of weird machines that Carlos wondered what they were for and how they worked. It wasn’t as big as the Queen of Hearts’ Salon, where his mom always went to take “the edge off”, but it felt more cosy. Maybe because Dizzy was running it most of the time.

After running back and forth for a short 5 minutes between machines, “All done!” Dizzy sang and presented the shiny new item to Carlos. You could call it a total make over.

“It’s perfect!” Carlos stood up as he took the cigarette holder in both hands and examined it from end to end. It was scarlet red with a simple gold line at the tip and it was all glossy and smooth, Carlos felt like rubbing his fingers on it over and over again.

“Thank you so much Dizzy!! It’s perfect really!”

Dizzy laughed and smiled showing all her gums.

“You should go before granny wakes up,” Dizzy made a pouty face and pointed at the ceiling.

“I’ll pay you back for sure,” Carlos hastily put the cigarette holder in the inner pocket of his jacket. As grateful as he was towards Dizzy he did not want to bump into Lady Tremaine.

Carlos waved one last time before closing the door and caught a glimpse of Dizzy happily waving back.

Once he was out of the salon, Carlos started to hum his mother’s oh so famous theme song. As much as Cruella hated it, it was a really catchy tune. Carlos walked thinking about what he could do to repay Dizzy. Maybe he could make her a machine that helped clean or a stand that held all the tools she needed to work her magic.

His head in the clouds and humming a song, almost skipping, Carlos didn’t notice the shadow that jumped on him. It was as if it appeared out of nowhere to be completely fair, and even with Carlos’ agile reflexes, he probably couldn’t have avoided it.

Carlos hit the ground with a soft thump, something had tried to stop his fall. Or someone.

Carlos lifted his head and was met with Jay, son of the former evil vizier, Jafar. Carlos froze on the spot, not that he could move anyways as Jay had stumbled on top of him and had a firm grip on his shirt, near his rib cage. Jay’s long, dark hair was tickling Carlos’ face, he was so close. Carlos judged it best to avoid eye contact. Jay always hang out with Mal and she was the meanest girl in school by far. Plus Jay was big and tall and could probably break Carlos in half with a single grip.

Jay moved from atop Carlos and he was ready for a hit or an insult or anything bad really but what he was offered was a black, open finger gloved hand.

Carlos flinched at it by reflex and Jay let out a snicker before forcefully grabbing Carlos’s hand to lift him up to his feet. With such ease too. Carlos was shaken. Jay wasn’t really one to help someone like that. He had that signature smirk on his face and Carlos lowered his eyes again by pure instinct.

Jay just walked away humming his mother’s song now and Carlos shook this weird sensation off. Never forget, rule number one when you come across Jay: always check your pock-

Oh no!

Carlos put his hand deep in his inner pocket and scanned it like it was Mary Poppins’ magic bag.

“Hey!” He called out and ran to catch up to Jay, and although the thief might not be as fast as Carlos when he was chased by Harry and Jace, he was definitely more agile.

Jay laughed looking down at him, hanging from a broken rusty pole.

“Give it back!” Carlos yelled, the panic clear in his voice. He wasn’t scared of Jay, but his mother…

“Stealers keepers~” Jay sang and Carlos grunted.

This was not happening.

Carlos knew perfectly well he had no leverage on Jay and that once stolen, Jay didn’t give back.

“How much?” Jay asked, that annoying smug still on his face.

“Huh?” Carlos didn’t have any more money at this point.

“How much do you want this?” Jay asked pulling the cigarette holder out of his pocket, still hanging from one hand.

Carlos wondered if he had ever fallen before.

“More than you do, that’s for sure,” Carlos tried his best not to sound too desperate. He knew it would only encourage the thief. “Why do you want it anyways?”

Carlos had always been curious of Jay. Stealing to get by made sense but for Jay it seemed so natural. He was a kleptomane, he took pleasure from it.

“Because you want it.”

Carlos frowned. He knew Jay from school and he had made fun of Carlos on multiple occasions with Mal but Jay had never stolen from him before in all those years.

“Anything others want,” Jay started to explain as he swung and landed on a nearby beam. “I’ll take.”

Or maybe is was just because Carlos had nothing that Jay could steal before.

Carlos knew the J’s way. They stole, they sold, they re-stole, they resold.

“I don’t have any money.”

It was the truth but Carlos was worried because the cigarette holder looked all shiny and new and had now much more value than when he had bought it.

“That can be arranged.”

Jay had that evil grin on his face again. Carlos gulped and feared the worst.

“What do you mean?” He still asked. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as Carlos thought but that feeling immediately disappeared with Jay’s words.

“From now on you’ll do whatever I tell you.”

Carlos froze. He was already his mother’s slave, what could he possibly have done to deserve this?

“Eh, not gonna happen.”

Is what Carlos wanted to say, in his wildest dreams. But instead, he kept his mouth shut as always.

“How long?” Carlos had to ask although he feared he already knew the answer.

“As long as I need you to.”

Of course.

“But that could be forever!”

Again, Carlos was more afraid of his mother than Jay, and he allowed himself to act on impulse. He would never say that to Cruella.

“How do I know you’ll ever give it back?”

In all honesty, Carlos had already lost hope, and the only comforting thought he had left was that his mother knew nothing about this cigarette holder.

“You’re gonna have to follow me and find out for yourself,” Jay sang and finally dropped in front of Carlos.

Jay wasn’t scary per say but he was imposing and a head taller than Carlos. He was two years older too. He was wearing his father’s colors, a washed out red, yellow and blue sleeveless leather jacket with matching baggy pants and beanie hat.

Jay spared one last look at Carlos and started walking away. Carlos could only follow. What was Jay going to make him do?

It was no surprise to Carlos when the both of them stopped in front of Jafar’s Junk Shop and Carlos let a small whimper escape his mouth. His day had started so well.

Why?

The sign on the door said “closed” and Jay unlocked it open without a word. He was his father’s only supplier after all. Carlos looked around as he stepped into the store for the first time. It was full of junk really, anything and everything, scattered on dusty shelves with odious prices on them.

“This way,” Jay gestured behind the counter and Carlos followed him into the back of the shop. Jay parted the old cloth that hung from the ceiling to reveal what Carlos assumed was the living area.

It was actually almost cleaner than the shop, with broided carpets and shiny lamps. There was a small sofa and on the right Carlos caught a glimpse of the kitchen, which had a tiny table and a pile of old dishes in the sink.

“Shh,” Jay put a finger on his mouth. “This is my dad’s room,” he pointed at the door on the left. “He’s probably counting his coins right now.” Then Jay silently guided Carlos to the last door that was hidden behind a carpet that showed a tiger fighting a giant snake.

Jay revealed his room and Carlos’ heart sank. It was full of boxes and junk on one side and uneven, shaky shelves held what looked like very heavy televisions on the other side. And underneath that, in the corner, an old rug, that could only be Jay’s “bed”.

Carlos always thought he had it the worst. He never complained about it but then again he didn’t have anybody to complain to. At least Carlos had a mattress (and his mother made sure he was grateful for it) and Evie had given him a pillow as a present. His first pillow, his first present, his first friend.

“What you hanging there for?” Jay’s voice snapped Carlos out of his thoughts. “I want you to clean all this.”

“All of it?” Carlos shook his head in horror and turned to the pile of junk that almost climbed to the ceiling. Carlos thought it was a miracle Jay hadn’t been crushed by all of it yet.

“Yup,” Jay crossed his arms on his chest, one of his signature poses.

“Then I can have my cigarette holder back.” It wasn’t a question. This was Carlos attempt to make a deal with Jay.

“Sure,” Jay said and that single word felt it had so many different meanings but Carlos decided to ignore it for now. He didn’t really have a choice anyways. He could never take the cigarette holder back by force, Jay was way stronger than him, and he was in his territory now.

Carlos sighed and sat on the floor, opening the first box at hand that revealed a collection of small items. Anything from rusty cups to tiny buttons.

“Do people realize they are buying what they already owned?” Carlos couldn’t help asking, going through all the bling.

“Probably,” Jay shrugged as he sat opposite of Carlos, pulling a ball of cables out of one of the boxes. “I like to think that I make the city run.” Jay looked up to lock eyes with Carlos and nodded. “You’re welcome.”

Carlos laughed out loud and immediately covered his mouth. He had never done that before. If he laughed in front of his mother he would get the stick. But Jay let out a soft chuckle and it was so soothing. For the first time Carlos felt comfortable with Jay.

Carlos quickly went back to work and just shoved his head in the box as deep as he could to hide himself. It was silent for a while and Carlos wondered how much time had passed after he finished sorting the first box. He had separated all the cutlery in an empty box and all the jewelry in another and left the “rest” in the original box. (That he would have to sort again later)

Carlos glanced at Jay and found him sleeping, arms and legs crossed in front of a box of cables. “He’s gonna hurt his neck like that,” Carlos thought but didn’t really feel like doing anything about it. Instead he just turned back and opened another box. This one contained a lot of silver stuff: candle holders, hooks, nails and even an ash tray. It was cleaner than Carlos’ mother’s. She never washed it and Carlos couldn’t stand the smell so he avoided going near it.

His mom!

“Ah!” Carlos abruptly stood up and dropped the ash tray.

Jay jumped on his spot making a weird neigh sound.

“I need to go home and make dinner for my mom before she comes back from the salon!” Carlos exclaimed. He looked at Jay in a panic, not knowing how to ask if he could leave but-

“Go.”

Carlos stared at Jay. He was so sure he had heard it wrong but Jay gestured at the curtain with his head.

“Tomorrow, after school,” Jay said when he saw that Carlos was too afraid to move. It couldn’t be that easy, it never was. Except this time it was. Carlos never thought Jay would be understanding and wondered why he had been afraid of him this whole time. (Probably because of Mal)

“Th-thank you,” Carlos breathed out before heading to the curtain that separated the living area and the store.

This was all Jay’s fault to begin with and it was sort of blackmail but Carlos felt bad for leaving like that. He had never seen this side of Jay and it was so raw and vulnerable. It was like Jay was showing Carlos his weakness and Carlos had no idea why. But now Carlos understood where Jay came from. Everybody had their own story and their own reasons. In such an environment, Jay had had to grow strong, Carlos on the other hand was weak and afraid.

Carlos thought about this on his way to Hell Hall and kept it in mind the whole evening. He made dinner (he called it The leftovers of leftovers) and listened to his mother complain while he did the dishes and cleaned her whole shoe collection before going to sleep on his flat mattress in his mother’s dressing room.

That night Carlos had a dream. A soft voice and the scent of rusty metal.

The next day, Carlos went to school as always, sitting in the back with Evie. He didn’t bring his radio today and was just doodling some notes on how to make a stand for Dizzy. Carlos hadn’t told Evie what had happened the day before and had just answered “I’m not sure yet,” when Evie had asked him what he was writing.

“Don’t you think?” Evie’s voice brought Carlos back and he felt bad because he hadn’t been listening to a single word she had said.

“Huh? Yeah. I’m sorry, what?” Carlos detached his heavy head that had been resting on his hand since the beginning of Selfie class.

“I said, it’s nice to have someone who understands the process of invention, don’t you think?” Evie was sketching too, some new clothes. She designed and made everything she wore herself, Carlos was always blown away.

“Yeah,” Carlos smiled. But he was distracted. Jay and Mal were on the other end of the room, at the front, throwing paper spitballs and old chewing-gums they had found under their tables at the other students. Carlos sighed and he suddenly unexpectedly met eyes with Jay.

Dalmatians!

Carlos had stared for too long. He immediately looked away and asked Evie what she was drawing hoping Jay hadn’t caught him.

Carlos spent the remaining of the class trying very hard not to look in Jay’s direction. When the bell finally chimed, Carlos packed so fast Evie was taken aback.

“Since when do you like Evil schemes?” Evie joked, knowing perfectly well that was not why Carlos was so hasty. Although she didn’t know the real reason either.

“Let’s just get out of here,” Carlos simply replied. In every class it was the battle to get the seat the farthest from Mal.

Carlos and Evie were about to enter the classroom when a voice way too familiar echoed in the hall.

“Well, well, well.”

It sent shivers down Carlos’ spine every time. Mal was too much like her mother.

“Drawing, are we?” She tilted her head with a smirk. “Aw how cute,” she made a pout and Carlos hated it. She knew exactly what she was doing and it was working.

“Can I see?” Mal asked, tilting her head back, already reaching for Carlos’ notebook.

Carlos knew there was nothing he could do, if he held onto it Mal would most certainly rip it out of his hands anyways.

Then something unexpected happened.

Jay took the notebook before Mal got a chance to open it and flipped through the pages, raising the notebook above his head, turning away from Mal and Carlos. Finally Jay threw it back and it landed in Carlos’ hands.

“Boooring!” Jay claimed out loud and entered the classroom. Mal looked at Carlos and followed Jay with a laugh.

Carlos was stunned. Did Jay just save Carlos from Mal? On the outside it looked like any normal thing the two troublemakers would do but it could have been so much worse. Carlos knew it could have been. Knowing Mal, she would have teared the pages off, burned it to the ground, even thrown the notebook in a cauldron of acid water altogether.

“Are you OK?” Evie asked beside Carlos, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Carlos replied, still staring at the open door of Schemes class.

After that the day went by pretty fast. Too fast. Carlos’ notion of time was usually shaky as whether it was at school or at home, the suffering was never ending. Evie knew how hard Carlos had it so when he told her he needed to go after the last bell rang, she didn’t question him.

Carlos walked at a leisurely pace towards Jafar’s shop. He couldn’t arrive before Jay and there was no way they were going together.

When Carlos arrived, the sign said open but he still hesitated before pushing the door.

As soon as he was inside he was greeted with a large cardboard box.

“Perfect timing,” Carlos heard Jay’s voice on the other side of the box.

Carlos couldn’t see in front of him, and he could be so clumsy when he was nervous, but he felt Jay’s hand push him gently and navigate him through the store. Carlos caught a glimpse of Jafar feeding a red parrot and was glad he didn’t say anything or wasn’t even looking his way. The boys just kept going until they reached Jay’s room.

“Put it here,” Jay said and Carlos assumed it meant leave the box in any open space on the floor.

Carlos wasn’t nervous like yesterday but he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to thank Jay for this morning but was afraid Jay would deny it all. There was still a chance Carlos had made it all up in his head.

Jay had been sorting after Carlos had left yesterday, he could tell. Carlos thought to himself that that was Jay’s equivalent of Carlos doing his chores at the Hell Hall. Everybody was just trying to get by. The Isle of the Lost? More like the Isle of surviving on leftovers.

Carlos sat in front of the box Jay had given him earlier and didn’t say a word. Soon Jay followed and after a while, he tucked his hair in his beanie, putting it out of the way, but it was messy and a strand was poking out on the side and Carlos couldn’t help but stare. Jay looked so different like that. Softer. Jay probably felt the eyes on him as he looked up and Carlos immediately looked down.

“Your sketches look good by the way,” Jay said in a low voice and Carlos wondered how he could always be so calm. It felt like Jay was always in control while Carlos was just a mess.

“Thank you,” Carlos still managed to reply. But he felt it wasn’t enough. “For protecting them,” he awkwardly added.

For helping me.

But Carlos didn’t have the courage to say that out loud.

“D’you ever manage to make them?” Jay asked, still looking at his hands. Carlos had mixed feelings talking about his inventions. He was happy that Jay would be even a little bit interested in them as usually it was just his mother talking and Carlos cleaning while she did. No one had really asked about him until Evie and Carlos was still shy about it. He wasn’t a genius, more like a nerd needing an escape.

“My first invention were magnifying glass goggles,”

Carlos cleared his throat, trying to brush off the awkwardness. “Then I was able to make more detailed and sophisticated things using them.”

Jay didn’t say anything which encouraged Carlos to talk more.

“I made Evie a night stand,” Carlos said with more enthusiasm. “I gathered some metal scraps and shaped them into a flower.” Carlos smiled. “I’m not as good a designer as her but she still seemed really happy.”

“Maybe you can make me a robot that could sort all of those,” Jay joked gesturing to all the boxes in his room.

Carlos laughed. He felt warm and comfortable and it was a new yet amazing feeling.

“You know for someone who is afraid of dogs, you really look like one.” Jay suddenly said and Carlos wasn’t sure how to take that. Dogs were vicious, rabid animals. Did Jay mean that he actually resembled his mother?

“They’re cute and loyal,” Jay said without a sweat, eyes still on all the wires and cables he had been trying to untangle for the past five minutes.

Carlos felt the heat creep up to the end of his curly hair. He felt somewhat embarrassed. He was flustered.

“But my mom says,” Carlos tried to argue.

“You’d think that by now you would know not to listen or believe everything or anything your mom says. Not to mention, she skins dogs as a hobby, I don’t think they like that very much.”

Carlos gulped at the image.

“Fair point.”

Silence filled the room and all that could be heard was the noise made by hands moving in cardboard boxes.

“They’re cute and loyal.”

Carlos wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out of it. Just thinking about the words made his ears burn. Carlos had never been complimented before. If you could call it a compliment. He closed his eyes and shook his head for the nth time, refocusing on his work.

“What I meant was that you came back,” Jay broke the silence. He probably saw how uncomfortable Carlos was.

“Because I was afraid,” Carlos answered sarcastically.

“But I don’t think you are.”

Carlos looked up and Jay had his eyes on him too. It was a strong gaze that said a lot but Carlos couldn’t quite read it.

“Why? Do I scare you?” Jay asked in a low voice.

“Not… anymore.” Carlos admitted.

Jay let out a chuckle and Carlos had no idea what it meant.

“Good,” was all Jay said but it was all Carlos needed.

After that, they sorted through the boxes, joking from time to time, mostly complained about school. It was different than when Carlos was with Evie but to be fair Evie and Jay were very different. Not in a bad way of course and Carlos warmed up to the idea that he had friends now. Real friends.

It was trickier at school though. Jay would ignore him and Carlos didn’t blame him. He hadn’t told anything to Evie either. And so the boys kept their sorting afternoons secret. Until.

“A transmitter battery!”

Carlos held the battery with both hands and took a closer look just to make sure. This was exactly what he needed for his radio. At least something good came out of sorting all this junk.

“How much is it?” Carlos couldn’t hold his excitement. He had waited to find this for so long but had always been afraid to go into Jafar’s Junk Shop.

“A piece of advice: never sound desperate. It gives power to you opponent.” Jay stopped his hands and stared at Carlos.

“I knew that,” Carlos responded with a sheepish look.

“What do you want it for?” Jay asked, motioning at the battery with his chin.

“Oh it’s for a radio I’ve been working on. I think I can manage to catch other stations and we can stop watching that propaganda TV and listen to some real music. Maybe even catch some wifi!”

“Maybe you should focus on this first.” Jay whipped the cigarette holder out of his jacket and the first thought that crossed Carlos’ mind was that maybe his mom could wait. It’s not like she even knew about it. Carlos was seriously considering.

“Take it,” Jay had stood up and was now kneeling next to Carlos. He took Carlos’ hand and closed his fingers on top of Carlos’, trapping the battery.

“B-but,”Carlos started. He was confused.

“You need it more than I do.” Jay paused and added. “And I better get access to that wifi.”

Carlos smiled at Jay. How could he have misjudged him all this time?

“Promise you’ll come tomorrow too?”

“Y-yeah.” Of course Carlos almost said but stopped himself. It was no secret to Carlos that spending time sorting junk in Jay’s room was more fun than anything he had ever done before, but he was afraid of what Jay would think.

“Then take that too.” Jay put the cigarette holder in Carlos’ inner pocket. “You owned it.”

Carlos had done less than a week of sorting and already everything was solving itself in his favor. Carlos kept staring at Jay, switching from one eye to the other, to find the lie.

“In fact, you should also take this.”

And Jay cupped Carlos’ face and gently pressed his lips against his.

Carlos’ mind went blank and he just blinked, eyes wide as a goldfish gasping for air.

“This one I’m only lending it to you,” Jay whispered, hands still on Carlos’ cheeks. “So you better give it back.”

Everything was a blur after that but Carlos remembered nodding. Other than that, he honestly couldn’t remember when or even how he had gotten home. When he came to his senses he was polishing his mom’s phone, that was now a mere decoration. The evening passed and every time Carlos let his guard down all he could hear was

“You better give it back.”

Carlos felt so lightheaded, like he was on a cloud. Not a stormy, dark, cursed cloud, no, a fluffy white cloud in a foreign blue sky.

After finishing all his chores, Carlos jumped on his mattress and buried his head in his pillow. He wanted to scream and kick his feet up and go crazy. What was this feeling? Carlos didn’t know but it was amazing. His stomach felt funny but in a good way and he just couldn’t stop thinking about it. What did it mean? More importantly: what did it mean to Jay?

Carlos had to find out. Jay had a reputation for being a flirt but everybody knew it was always related to stealing. Yet Jay had already taken everything Carlos had, there was no explanation. He thought about it and Carlos couldn’t deny the conclusion. He liked Jay. And for once in his life Carlos allowed himself to hope.

A week had past since Jay had stolen from Carlos and it was Saturday. And they didn’t have school on Saturdays. After what had happened yesterday, Carlos wasn’t sure how to face Jay so he needed an excuse to see him. The problem was, Jay had kindly given the cigarette holder back and even the battery. Carlos was happy about it, over the moon, but he didn’t know what to do now.

“Promise you’ll come tomorrow.”

So it was safe to say that Jay liked Carlos, right? And Carlos liked Jay too. But people on the Isle didn’t like each other, not to mention date. Were Carlos and Jay going to date? Did sorting junk in Jay’s room count as a date? Carlos was going through all those questions and before he knew it, he was standing in front of Jafar’s Junk Shop.

Carlos wasn’t ready but he was never going to be. He wanted to see Jay, he had to get answers. He had to hope.

The door made a creaking noise when he pushed it and Carlos made a face. He hated this kind of sound, like chalk against the board or his mother’s nails on the table when she got upset. Carlos shook his head and gently closed the door before turning back and meeting eyes with Jafar. He was staring at him from the other side of the counter. To be fair Carlos was the only customer in the shop.

Carlos gulped and approached the counter. No turning back now.

“Uh, is- I mean I’m looking for-” Carlos had stopped breathing, he couldn’t look at Jafar, he was a big ball of nervous sweating and he was trying really hard not to recite the periodic table out loud.

“Jay’s not back yet,” Jafar simply said and eyed the back of the shop. He wouldn’t trust anyone not to steal from him. “Why don’t you take a look around the shop, you might find something-”

“Dad.”

Carlos froze in his spot. It was Jay and he could feel him right behind his back, towering him.

Carlos turned around and was immediately baffled. Jay was so close and his hair was loosely held up in a messy bun. Carlos wasn’t ready. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes before looking straight into Jay’s dark eyes.

“I came to give back what I borrowed.”

Carlos had spurted out the words like he was ripping a bandaid and he could feel the heat rising in his whole body, it was like he was on fire.

Jay smiled.

“Come on in.”

And Carlos followed Jay to the back of the shop like he was the stiffest robot that needed serious oiling.

“I still need to sort those,” Jay tilted his head towards the pile of boxes once they were in his room.

“This is never going to end, is it?” Carlos sighed. He felt comfortable again now that Jafar was out of sight. Carlos had almost forgotten why he had come but Jay made sure to remind him as he took Carlos’ hand to lead him to one of the boxes. He sat Carlos down in front of it and Carlos was confused, until Jay sat right behind him, arms wrapping Carlos’ waist.

Carlos almost squirmed but miraculously held it together, then he realized.

“Hey! I’m the only one who can reach the inside of the box!”

Carlos felt Jay was playing with his feelings. But in a good way?

“Perfect, isn’t it?” Jay had his signature smirk on his face as Carlos looked back his shoulder to complain.

“Jay!” Carlos feigned protest but he was actually melting inside. And Jay’s grip grew tighter around him.

“It’s the first time you call my name,” Jay whispered softly. “I like it.” Carlos shivered at the breath on his right ear.

Carlos had said Jay’s name many times in his head over the years and had never noticed he had never said it out loud before.

“Jay,” Carlos said again, softer this time and Jay whispered back. “Carlos.”

They stayed like that for a while, Carlos closed his eyes and felt Jay’s warmth in his back, his big arms protecting him from everything out there. Evie had given Carlos hugs before but this was different. It felt different. This was perfect. Carlos had the answer to something he had known all along. All he needed, all he wanted, was love.

“I’ll give you all the pieces you need to complete your radio if you come and help me from time to time,” Jay said, head resting on Carlos’ shoulder.

Just when Carlos thought things couldn’t get any better.

“Really?”

Carlos was shy by nature and he felt Jay was the right push for him.

“Yeah, you gonna have to find them yourself though, ‘cause I have no idea.”  

Carlos couldn’t really see Jay’s face but he could hear the pout in his voice and Carlos never thought he would ever describe Jay as being cute.

“Works for me,” Carlos laughed. If this was what happiness felt like he never wanted Jay to let go.

Carlos allowed himself to lean back into Jay’s embrace and sighed in content.

“So,” Jay started. “About that thing I lent you.”

Carlos felt the heat rise in his cheeks again but turned around nonetheless. Jay was looking down at him, one of his eyebrows in an arc and smirk on his face. Carlos smiled and Jay captured his chin between his fingers, lifting it at the perfect angle. Carlos felt it was only fair he leaned in first this time and pressed his lips on Jay’s once, twice and the third time Jay cupped Carlos’ face and Carlos couldn’t stop smiling. Who knew you could hurt your jaw from happiness. But Carlos would take the pain any day. He put his hands on Jay’s and they just stared at each other before laughing and letting their foreheads touch. This was perfect. Carlos was finally happy.

[theunrealinsomniac]

Hello there! How about Ron x Pansy + 354

I’m so sorry it took so long! But this one is gonna be all kinds of fun.

354: ‘You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night…’

Ron gulped as he walked through the entrance to the new pub Harry had asked him to meet at.

This would be why he’d been so cryptic about why this month’s night out was taking place halfway across the city. In a pub they never went to.

A large banner hung above a raised stage with the words ‘KARAOKE NIGHT!’ 

‘Ron!’ Harry shouted from the bar, holding up two beers and grinning like a loon.

He weaved through the bustling crowd, smiling idly at pretty brunette who’s eyes went up and down him as his arm brushed her back.

He had to pivot around a group of lads getting quite rowdy already, but he got to the bar just in time to see Harry taking the first taste of gloriously cold beer.

‘You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night…’

Harry smirked and shoved a beer into his waiting hand. ‘No, I didn’t. But ignore that, that’s not why we’re here.’

Yeah right, Ron didn’t believe his best mate for a minute on that one. Harry took every excuse to get Ron to sing. Damn supportive best friend took the same tack he did to getting Ron to be more confident on the Quidditch pitch with everything in Ron’s list of insecurities.

Harry put an arm around Ron’s shoulders and led his vision to the table in the corner where two women he recognised were sitting, chatting happily.

‘Harry … please tell me you haven’t dragged me out for a double date. You know how well the last one went.’ Ron still felt bad whenever he bumped into the Patil twins.

Daphne Potter, honey blonde hair tied up in a neat bun, looking as at home in a student pub in Camden Market on a Friday night, as she would at a pureblood gala, saw them looking and waved eagerly.

As she did the woman sat next to her turned and a curious smile turned into a look of abject horror. Which mirrored Ron’s perfectly.

‘Harry!’ Ron grabbed his mate by the lapel. ‘The hell mate? Why are you trying to set me up with Pansy freaking Parkinson?!’

The black haired man rolled his eyes. ‘First, I never said I was setting you up-’

‘You so are though.’

‘Beside the point. She’s not that bad and let’s be honest mate, ever since you and Hermione split up … well a fresh start couldn’t hurt right?’ Harry smacked Ron on the back and started to lead him over to the table. The annoyingly happily married man grinning to his wife as they approached. ‘Also, I have it on pretty good authority Pansy was the one asking about you … we just facilitated.’

He would have to take a moment at some point to explain that just because Harry and Daphne worked out, didn’t mean everyone had to start dating Slytherins. 

They reached the table much quicker than he’d have liked and, after the hug for Daphne and a polite smile and a wave for Pansy, he begrudgingly took the seat next to Pansy. 

And he couldn’t lie, she did look absolutely stunning. Especially considering she wasn’t staring at him like he was something awful under her shoe.

‘Hi Ron,’ Pansy said with an awkward smile. ‘Long time no see huh?’

‘Yeah,’ Ron replied. Merlin, this was surreal, he could already feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. This was going to be the weirdest freaking night he’d ever had. ‘How’ve you been?’

‘Good.’ Pansy’s fingers fiddled with the bottom of her wine glass, her eyes darting around, catching Daphne’s for an obviously long moment.

‘Hey babe?’ Daphne said, radiant smile in place. ‘Let’s go see if they have that song you keep singing in the shower.’

‘Oh Christ, I hope not,’Harry said with a grimace to Ron. ‘Muggle radio is my real greatest enemy mate. Damn catchy tunes.’

He allowed himself to be led away all the same, Daphne’s arm looping around his as if it belonged there, before disappearing into the throng of people.

‘Think they could be more sickening if they tried?’ Pansy scoffed after their backs. She took a sip from her glass, piercing eyes watching him carefully, like he was a wild animal or something.

Well … the urge to run was getting pretty high. But that wasn’t fair … it wasn’t like Pansy as a woman would be the same as the girl he’d gone to school with.

‘Not been around the two of them together much have you?’ Ron chuckled. ‘That’s tame, you wait til you hear the pet names.’

‘Merlin,’ Pansy smiled. ‘I don’t think I even want to imagine. How bad is it?’

‘Remember when Ernie MacMillan and Lisa Turpin got together in sixth year for a bit?’ Ron waited for her to nod slowly, the fringe of her hair shifting to cover her face in a surprisingly endearing way. ‘Worse.’

Pansy’s lips fell into an ‘o’ and she snorted. ‘Oh Morgana, that’s either horrifying or the sweetest thing on the planet.’

He chuckled and they fell into an awkward silence as they drank. Ron was just wishing they’d come back already. 

‘Okay,’ Pansy said as she put her empty glass down with a little more force than she meant. ‘I think I’ve had enough wine to say this now.’

A sharp pinch in his stomach met her words as Pansy leaned forward. ‘What?’

She took a deep breath and looked him dead in the eyes. ‘I need to apologise for all the shit I pulled in school. I’m so sorry Ron,’ she said, the tension in her body she looked to be shaking. ‘I know I did and said some shitty things about your family and you personally. I just … fuck this is going to sound so insincere but it’s true alright?’

Ron nodded stiffly. Of all the ways this could have gone … this was not what he’d been expecting. ‘Alright.’

‘I had a massive crush on you, from like fourth year on.’

Ron had to be dreaming. He’d eaten some potion laced chocolate or something and was having a hell of a trip.

‘And I get that sounds like so much crap. I mean, what moron treats someone they fancy the way I treated you but … well I was jealous of Granger and I didn’t react well to those feelings. You know about my parents …’

He did. Her mother had been found with a Dark Mark and her father had been found dead in their manor house the week after Voldemort had fallen. Believed murdered by his own wife.

‘I just … I’m sorry okay? You don’t have to forgive me and I know you probably hate me still but I just … wanted to apologise.’ Pansy looked away and Ron had to scramble his brains just to think of a time where the ‘Queen Bitch’ of Slytherin, as Ginny referred to her, had ever looked so much like a normal woman.

‘So …’ Ron started. ‘Um … Wow.’

‘Wow?’ Pansy said sharply. ‘Really?’

Ron laughed, which only made Pansy scowl at him. Which he’d admit was actually kinda attractive. Oh Merlin help him.

‘No, I’m sorry, I’m not great at this whole talking about feelings things. I’m worse than Harry really. But, you had a crush on me? What about you and Malfoy?’

Pansy growled and her fingers flexed as she lifted her hands in aggravation. ‘Me and Draco, we were best friends Weasley. Did you ever see us kiss or hold hands or anything that teenagers think mean love?’

That … was a damn good point. ‘Okay, fair enough. I suppose I just kind of assumed?’

‘You and everyone outside of Slytherin yeah,’ Pansy grumbled.

‘Sorry. But can I ask?’ Ron held his hands up. ‘Why the hell did you have a crush on me? I wasn’t exactly nice to you either.’

Pansy crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. ‘I liked your smile, you were funny and loyal and after you started playing Quidditch and got taller …’

‘Sweet Merlin,’ Ron said, a shocked expression covering his face. ‘You thought I was hot!’

‘Shut up!’ Pansy hissed back. ‘Yes, okay? You were fit and I was a teenage girl and complex emotions and if it hadn’t been for you and Granger getting together after school I’d have done something about it then! But you would probably have rejected me out of hand anyway!’

He couldn’t help it, Ron laughed. It was probably the worst thing he could possibly have done but good sweet Merlin, he couldn’t stop himself.

‘Fuck you Weasley!’ Pansy snapped as she blushed bright pink.

Ron brought his laughter to a stop, quickly as he could, and waved his hands in front on f him. ‘I’m sorry, no seriously Pansy, I’m sorry. But, I know you’re not the same person as you were in school. If you’d just wanted to apologise you could have done that back then.’

‘Well I know that now.’ Pansy pouted heavily and it was fucking adorable. ‘Harry marrying Daphne was the big hint.’

‘I bet,’ Ron chuckled. ‘But we’re good okay?’

Pansy looked at his proffered hand and took it uncertainly. ‘You’re sure?’

He squeezed her fingers gently. ‘I am, I’m not the same person either. Stands to reason we’d all grow up a bit don’t you think?’

Pansy smiled and nodded, shifting in her chair to get out a purse. ‘Okay, well I need another drink, so can you watch my bag while I go to the bar?’

Ron pushed down her hand and smiled back. ‘I’ll get this one, you just sit there and think how I’ve only gotten hotter with age, and I’ll think about how we should do this again, just the two of us.’

Pansy gave him a smirk. ‘I had noticed that thank you. And yeah, sounds like a plan. I can still feel the Potters watching us from the karaoke machine.’

He grinned and she squeezed his fingers. The feeling of her warm hand in his comforting and exciting all at the same time.

Okay, maybe dating a Slytherin wasn’t out of the question.