#this shit stings man
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Today's been a long day huh
#iskall situation#this shit stings man#it stings so bad#i never brought it up on this blog i dont think but I was a massive iskall girlie#i fucking loved this guy he'd brought me so much joy and positivity and i looked up to him so fucking much#idk if its parasocial to say I also dont really care I feel like my trust has been so violated#my best of wishes for the victims. fuck man#might delete this later. its been a long ass day#idk how to get across how much i looked up to this man. his positive attitude was such an inspiration to me bro FUCKK me im gonna be sick#ive been watching him for like. a third of my life man this sucks so fucking baddddd jesus christ#props to the hermits for how they handled this it was such a mature way of going about it ig#imma try to sleep. im feeling kinda sick bc of this
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#personal tag#literally last night i was already saying that im exasperated on seeing comments like these lmao#i think i'll just avoid tumblr for now and take a break unless another trailer is posted i have gifs done for arctober anyway#ik the answer is to avoid or ignore seeing them but sometimes u still see it in the activity tab and i know theres way more positive and#nice things that everyone says and i love you guys sm <3 <3 <3 but also goddamn the negative comments can sting lmao#i really love the show man.... seeing ppl shit on it in my edits make me sad
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trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1
wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)
bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:
#my art lol#synth v yuma#yuma synthv#synth v#synthv fanart#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#YES I KNOW ITS DIFFERENT but at this rate its the umbrella tag. all vsynth shit goes under there just like on main 😔#sorry for the annoyign watermarks i just dont want this to get stolennn/traced it'll b my joker arc. is2g#like thats never happened to me before as far as i know but now that my art is getting 'better' i begin to get scared that it will happen#if my fanart got stolen i'd def sting a little yeah but not hurt AS bad as if someone stole my original shit. THAT would hurt#one of many reasons why i post less personal oc stuffs. although as mentioned above i AM in an oc mood so i wanna draw em maybe...#and stuff like this is a step to develop a PROPER FUCKING REF STYLE bc i SUCKKKK AT MAKING REFS LOL 😭 BUT I SHOULD GIT GUD#i have a few other refs planned for vocaloid au (i guess???) related shit but they're not done yet. this one was also a wip that i just??#impulsively decided to redo & finish bc i wanted to draw but nothing else i was trying to draw came out right. advantages of many wips#i have SOOO many things i could say abt some of the things that went into this redesign but i dont wanna come off as pretentious 😔💔#obviously it was primarily inspired by the vimalion yuma design but. there's moreeee that i can't explain here bc tag limits and im shy#i do think i want to try and be more intentional with my character designs now so i'm seeing how that goes as i redesign some old ocs#man though this kind of stuff makes me remember i used to LOVEE doing this stuff. and now its even crazierr given art improvement#uaurhghh my head is buzzing w/. so many thoughts. THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS I GET SO MANY IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY GFD#this is actually from today though unlike some other things i might eventually post. that'll make more sense soon#and fuckkk i forgot the chain necklace thing on the chibi yeah but i couldnt get it to look good. whatever
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ermm did somebody say more john amoroso art ☝️☝️ (no)
#nates drawings#he’s quite silly#i like when he has the blood on his face#i think i overdid the blood a little bit it’s fine#i’m so bad at drawing blood but i love this scene#shit yeah you are this stings like a cocksucker#john why are you talking about cocksuckers in front of another man.. there’s a word for people like you#STRETCHED LOBES JOHN AGAIN#painted nails john save me#i know he doesn’t actually have black nails but. in my heart he does#he lets the guys paint his nails sometimes trust#i love drawing john so much aughh#my stupidass son#would you rather have a gay son or a thot daughter. trick question i have john and he’s all 4#the black suits#john amoroso
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when the character gets really protective of their younger siblings
#many such cases but we started rewarding fma with sting-rray and like fuck man this shit is like coke to me#I promise being the eldest kid in the family had no effect on me whatsoever...for sure#at least now I get to impress a whole sea of toddlers#wyatt rambles
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can we catch a break. can we catch a fucking break.
#gonna be real with you i really havent been doing well and i keep trying to just force myself through it and ignore it but oof man#therapists arent kidding when they say you cant do this forever which personally i think is evil and fucked up and unfair#the only reason i havent crashed yet is bc i have literally no safety net to get me back up lmao like if i crash now ill crash hard and#idk. idkkkk i dont have the stability in this country to afford fucking up my job situation.#and strangers on the internet give more shits about me than those closest to me lmao which uhhhh yeah that stings i wont lie#the most someone cares is a 'hope you feel better soon!' and thats from people who dont even know me LMAO#anyways anyways whatever. its whatever.#ive felt like absolute dog shit for a month and my dad left a day early bc the weather sucked and there was nothing more to do here and i#just feel like extra crap bc i know im the one that moved away and i cant blame him bc he also came a day early so really its a plus minus#zero situation but saying goodbye still always fucking sucks and now i feel extra awful#whatever i just need to complain somewhere and be whiny for a bit and ill be back to work tomorrow its whatever
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the curse of listening to fairy tail ops and going man the anime was so good i should watch again as if the op songs give any indication of the quality of the show itself. dont do it girl thats the devil talking
#the ops were always such bangers.........#once again if ever i would watch fairy tail again i would just skip straight to the magic games arc#best arc forever i love them so much <3#such good quality#fucking. jellal pretending to be mystogan.....forgetting he cant show his magic bc its easily identifiable and hes on the run........immedi#immediately gets his ass kicked......#future lucy <3#erza my beloved going absolutely ham all the time#that one girl from mermaids tail whos brother was erza friend or something i dont remember sorry but your whole thing slapped <3#the third gen dragon slayers#i think it was third gen anyways?? sting my beloved <3#THE FUCKING OP????#FEARII TEIRU!!#AND THEN MASAYUME CHASING???? the whiplash man#i dont remember much abt like. the doors to the future shit and dragon fight tbh#like i understand what happened but i dont actually remember anything past fairy tail winning the games LMAO#the scene when they all show up beaten and battered barely able to stand in front of sting#and the MUSIC!!!!! it was so good and sting was like oh I See and conceded#good shit#MAVIS!!!!!!!!#so many good things#i miss fairy tail i should wat-*gets tackled to the ground*#michi tag
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FYI, on a serious note/update, I might be more/less active over the next… however long. Penny, my cat, might not be around by the end of tomorrow, and it’s gonna make me extremely upset.
I’ve had her and Boogs since they were kittens, I’ve had 16 years of them within my sapient life, and I cannot imagine her absence. She’s been unwell the last month or two, and I was hoping she was gonna come back from it, but she’s the worst I’ve ever seen her today; she can’t even eat. My mother even hinting that we might have to let her go opened the floodgates, and I haven’t been this emotional and stressed in a long while, not like this anyway.
I love you, Penny, and I hope you know that, even if I can’t tell you. I love your meow, your sweetness, your cuddles, your pretty eyes and fur, and I love you for all the memories we had together. To some you might just be a cat, but you were my best friend, my family, and I can’t imagine my world without you there. Thank you.
#spaghetti speaks#tw animal illness#cw animal death#cw animal illness#tw animal death#animal death#animal illness#euthanasia#penny the cat#I love my cats#so much#I’ve been crying so much today#I don’t want her to go#I keep thinking I finally went through the motions just to crash back down again- stinging salty tears and snotty-nosed#ask to tag#I usually try and avoid showing this version of me because I hate seeing myself as this sobbing thing instead of a wooden plank#but god man#the last few months have been absolute shit and now I’m gonna have to face the fact that I might have to cradle Penny one last time#I can’t do it man#I can’t even try and drown out my thoughts in music because oh so conveniently my headphones started being annoying on one side#the right ear is constantly staticy and popping#i can’t fucking do this#Call me dramatic or whatever#I just want things to be okay#I want things to be magically better and I can stop stressing and crying and all this shit#vent#vent post#personal vent#venting#cw vent
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turning in an essay that references anti-zionism and then hearing my professor say point-blank that anti-zionists are replacing judaism in their hearts with anti-zionism, which is inherently anti-jewish and cannot coexist w judaism At All, and it makes them no better than converts-of-convenience. specifically haskalah era elites who converted bc they no longer loved judaism or lived it, and criticized it super heavily until they stopped caring at all. well it was uh. well. hm. certainly an interesting thing to hear on a tuesday afternoon.
#feels bad man.#truly in a spot of 'i have no right to complain' kinda but holy shit did that sting actually.#i respect this person. they really truly said it fully believing we'd all hard agree and like... laugh with them? i just.#like bro i already feel alienated as fuck All Of The Time from my peers can we not add professors to the list. for new and#painful reasons. please for the love of anything--#ANYWAY. one person was like 'i know a lot of anti-z jews who are still jewish?' and the prof kinda backslid and was like#'well it was just my thought. i DID say it was an evil thought before i made the comparison.' but like you still said it my#brother at sinai. what gives.#ok rant over. but we stay silly! 🙃
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so stoked tbh after we got treated on the 6th and wrapped/threw out downstairs guy's mattress, i havent seen a single bedbug or even gotten bit once - i was getting bit like once or twice a week before. brooooo i think my extreme paranoia and anxiety might have won us this warrrrr
#i had the whole house coated in that diatomaceous earth shit for like a month and a half beforehand too#so the infestation was already small af when the pest control guy found it#man if the problem is actually solved already im gonna be so fucking happy im gonna puke#1300 dollars stings but if the problem is ACTUALLY gone i dont care
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huge kudos to the priest in our local church who thought it was a good idea to mix a bunch of different essential oils, perfume and rubbing alcohol into one bottle and then start spraying the churchgoers with it, btw. Genius behaviour.
#guess who got splashed straight in the fuckin eyes with this shit & ran out of the church screaming and crying bc it felt like literal fire#*points to self*#and also like 10 other poor people who were in this man's line of fire#im not kidding when i say this shit felt like getting my eyes gouged out & the skin around them peeled set on fire#and i cant get the damn scent off me even after showering for 30 mins but at least eyes only vaguely sting now#nobody does easter as brutally as eastern orthodox folks ig#αλλα ήθελα να μείνω για την περιφορά του επιταφιου γαμωωωω
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If just white people were the main characters of isekai it would be so wattpad cringe bc wtf😭 y’all using broken aave On a character who not even in modern times. You’re embarrassing💀 you using colonized social standards on Characters of color like they would even remotely believe in that mess
#y’all either pussy or annoying#I’m sorry seeing fanfic where yn can literally do anything and she crying bc#‘I can’t tell them’#y’all need to learn to lie :/#IF I WAS SEEN AS A GOD#I would simply behave#I’m fucking my fav characters#you’re being awkward saying weird shit using aave as a cracker#we not the same Sarah#sagau#bc thsts the tea#y’all wrote the most 14 year old shit ever#bc most of y’all are kids I get to you don’t understand being an adult like the characters 😂#but be fr#Xiao#someone who’s been alive for fucking centires#wouldn’t know what sex even is??#he beloved in white gender roles of man sting woman weak???#yeah pack it the fuck up mayonase militia
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*through gritted teeth* don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your monthly hell, don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your-
#//vent#I feel so alone#whenever I’m jittery and excited and I gotta talk to somebody there’s never anybody there#usually because of time zones#everybody posted about how quarantine affected them but that’s just literally how I’ve lived my entire life#I want to get a shit job at Joanne’s I’m not kidding deadass I want to experience the mundane life everyone else but me has lived#I only go to town once every 4 months or so and I RELISH it. There’s a whole world out there. Look at all these people with lives as rich#and complex as my own. What I wouldn’t give to small talk with every single person in Fred’s and learn their passions and how they live#all I do is wake up feed clean and water animals that’s all I’ve ever done#I remember being in HS and loving lunch bc I could watch everybody laugh and eat and live#I never got to stay after school for activities bc my mom hated picking me up#I never got to go to parties past 10 yrs old bc my family was more important and they fucking hated me orbiting them#my family is all I’ve ever known and they don’t even realize how starved I am for contact#ANYTHING#ANYTHING AT ALL#ILL TAKE SOME OLD WHITE MAN HURLING SLURS AT ME I NEED TO FEEL ALIVE#I need to feel the bitter sting of life and live#and I don’t even have online friends to play with like yeah I occasionally talk to my besties on here#but I can’t bring myself to ask for anything more
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Oh my god. So. That M girl I was posting about a while back? Things didn't end up going anywhere and she broke it off bc her abusive ex reached back out and she got pretty triggered by that. Completely understandable! She just posted celebrating 7 months with her new gf. Meaning that when she said she didn't want to go forward with me.... she started testing this other butch. Bro. Maybe the thing about her ex is still true but that means that she started dating this other butch shortly after telling me that. Ouch.
#butch speaks#we still follow each other on insta and idk if she realizes that#maybe im being dramatic but like. oof#bc again! the thing about her ex may still be true and im very understanding of that#id struggle in that situation too.#but the timeline she posted w this other butch..... lol. lmao.#if u werent interested... why not just say that?#damn. maybe it IS me.#we only went on a few dates#so its not like shes the love of my life or whatever#this will prob b the one time i post about it#but like... holy shit man. that kinda stings#and maybe im wrong and making assumptions but. the timeline tho.#anyway me n this other butch look similar so :3 type. that amuses me haha#i wish them the best tho#they posted some super cute pics :3
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welp. kitkat ripped the kitten's fucking ear open. merry christmas
#doing first aid on an incredibly squirmy kitten is very frustrating#im trying to help you!! i know it stings but stop wiggling around!!! i just need to clean it!!!!#it could be a lot worse but im still so fucking pissed#kitkat has been a total bitch towards this poor girl and nothing we've done has been helping them get over that#she just hates this fuckin kid#it's like a 30yr old woman beating the absolute shit out of a 12yr old#the tear in twix's ear is like... maybe a 1/4 inch long. which doesn't sound like much but she's a small animal#she'll be fine and it'll just leave her with a little notch in her ear#but man. kitkat is a fucking asshole.
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ugh I hate seeing disk horse on my dash this early
#tbh i hate seeing it at all like i do not follow blogs for identity discourse i follow for funny and art#also fucking stings as someone w one of those complex identities that somehow both repubs AND libs hate#the tumblr queer community hates me. the straights hate me too#but man some of yall (queer) say the vilest shit abt identities u dunno shit about#anyways rant over i gotra go get my blood stolen
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