#this school of thought still makes me uncomfortable
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thebestsetter · 12 hours ago
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Rin likes black.
Call him emo or depressed or cringe or whatever works best for you. He uses ONLY black things.
His shirts are all black. He shows up to practice wearing the team's black kit. His car is black. He answered a interview saying that his favorite color was black (although he disliked the question and thought it was unecessary - he's here to talk about football, goddammit!) Hell, even the Keychain on his black backpack is a black and white sad face.
He likes black. Actually, scratch that. He loves it.
So, his team can't help but feel confused when he suddenly comes to practice with the team's pink kit, which he swore ("cross my heart and hope to die" kind of thing) that he'd NEVER wear. He even said it was because you accidentally washed it during laundry day it was still not dry. (Ha. As if. He had like 10 of those).
And then he came with that same kit the other day. And the day after that. And the day after that day too.
And, suddenly, things weren't so black anymore.
His backpack, which now was adorned with pink hello kitty stickers, had a smiley pink and white Keychain attached next to the black and white one. His car had pink details on the leather seats, and his shoes were black and pink.
It was strange, to say the least. That was until they couldn't really take it anymore. Seeing a pink hair tie around his wrist hut the final nail in the coffin.
"So... uhm... Rin." Isagi started, Bachira and Nagi curiously watching behind him "If I remember correctly, you said before your favorite color is black, right?"
"It is" Rin deadpanned.
An uncomfortable silence settled between them while Rin waited for Isagi to answer and Isagi waited for him to say something else. It was quickly interrupted by Bachira's excited "Ask already!"
"But... uhm... I see you took a liking to... pink things. Why's that?"
"Oh" Rin clearly wasn't expecting this question. He stared into Isagi's eyes and then looked down to tie his shoelaces "I don't like pink"
"Huh?" Nagi made a noise behind them, and just then did Rin notice those two
"But you have lots of pink things now!" Bachira said, getting behind Itoshi and shaking his shoulders, obtaining an eyeroll from him
"I dislike pink" he shook Bachira's hands off and sighed "I wear it only because my girlfriend loves it"
"Fair enough!"
"Oh."
"Okay, well, that actually makes sense
"Owwnnn, is Rinnie so in love with his girlfriend that he wear pink just for her?" Seriously, who called Shidou here anyways?
But what made Rin hate him even more was the fact that he was right. He did wear pink only for you.
He was getting tired of you nagging at him for only having black shirts (and he also loved your smiling face when you saw him dressed like a Barbie doll, but that's on second thought or at least he likes to pretend it is.)
Don't get me wrong, black is still his favorite color. But you're his favorite thing in the whole world, so take a guess on who wins this one.
Black: 0
You: 1
Quick note: Rin loves when these two things are together. So imagine his reaction to you on a black dress on your 1 year anniversary. Bro almost fainted.
I hate school somebody HELP ME
Not proofread cause I'm sleepy and lazy. Deal with it.
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im-so-normal-iswear · 1 day ago
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hiii!!
May I request some Yandere Sonic with a ballerina reader??
A/n: any other hispanics not show up to work/school today?
Yandere Sonic x Ballerina Reader
Tw: yandere, obsessive, stalking, sonic being creepy. Forced affection, forced touch (not sexual)
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The first time Sonic saw you, it was like something out of a dream.
You were in the middle of a dance, you legs grazing the floor with stunning elegance, defying gravity with a grace he'd never seen before. It was mesmerizing, how effortlessly you moved, how precise and fluid every motion was. The world seemed to slow as you spun.
He didn't know how long he'd been watching.
Minutes? Hours?
It didn't matter. You were beautiful.
Sonic isn’t the type to sit still. He's constantly moving, constantly seeking the next thrill. But when you appeared in his life, suddenly, he found himself stopping just to watch. He hid in the trees outside your studio, dashed past your performances just to get a glimpse, followed you home at night to make sure you were safe.
At first, he told himself it was nothing. Just curiosity. He was fascinated by your ability to move so flawlessly, almost inhumanly so. It was like you existed in your own world.
He started showing up at your practice sessions.
At first, it was subtle. Small things out of the corner of your eyes, a figure that would appear for maybe a second, but as soon as you focused on it, it was already gone.
And then, one day, you turned around, and there he was.
"Yo!" Sonic grinned, leaning against the bar like he belonged there. "You're crazy fast on your feet. Well, not as fast as me of course, but, still fast, y'know?"
You were startled, but not frightened. Sonic the Hedgehog is a hero, everyone knows that. He's saved the world more times than you could count, and he was standing right in front of you, acting like you were the coolest thing he'd ever seen.
"You... were watching me?" you ask, unsure whether to be flattered or weirded out.
"How could I not?" His grin widens, but there’s something sharp behind it. "You dancw well. Just had to come see it up close."
That’s how it started.
Sonic becomes a constant in your life.
You never invited him, hes just always there, before practice, during, after. He watched from the shadows, but the moment you look his way, he acts casual, like he just happened to be passing through.
"You're amazing," he told you one night, after walking you home.
"Thank you," you replied, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.
His eyes gleamed in the moonlight. "You don't get it. I mean, you're really amazing. Icve never seen anyone move like you. It's like... you belong at my side."
Those words sent a chill down your spine.
It only got worse.
Your shoes go missing, only to mysteriously reappear in your locker, laces tied in a neat little bow. Your schedule, which you've never shared with anyone, seems to be known by Sonic down to the second. He's always there, waiting for you.
And then there are the notes.
Neatly folded pieces of paper, slipped into your dance bag, your locker, even your pocket when you aren't looking.
"Youre the only thing that can keep up with me."
"I need you to dance for me."
"You're the only one I want to see move."
You tell yourself it's just admiration. That Sonic is just... intense. But deep down, you know better.
The breaking point came after a late night rehearsal.
You were exhausted, muscles sore, feet aching as you stepped outside. The streets were quiet, and for once, you thought you were alone.
Until...
"Going home alone? That's dangerous, y'know."
Sonic's voice wass too close.
You spun around, heart racing, and there he is, standing inches from you. His usual easy-going grin is still there, but the false sense of calm is eerie.
"You've been working hard," he says, tilting his head. "Hurts, doesn't it? All that pressure, all those expectations... but you keep going. Just like me."
"I-I need to go home," you say, stepping back.
Sonic moves faster than you can react. In the blink of an eye, he's behind you, his breath hot against your ear.
"But you don't wanna leave yet, do you?" His voice is almost teasing, but there’s something possessive in it, something suffocating. "You belong out here, under the stars. Dancing just for me."
Your hands shake. "Sonic, you're scaring me."
For a moment, just a moment, his expression falters. Then he laughs, stepping away like nothing happened. "Ah, don't!....dont look at me like that. I'd never hurt you." His grin returns, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I just... need you close, okay?"
You don't answer.
You don't have to.
Because Sonic had already decided.
From that night on, things spiralled out of control.
You see less of your friends because Sonic always intercepts them, leading them away with some excuse before they can reach you. Your performances start feeling wrong, you can sense him watching, always watching, his eyes tracking your every move.
You try to confront him, but it's useless. Sonic knows what you're thinking before you even open your mouth.
"Thinking about running?" he teases one evening, hanging upside down from a tree as you try to sneak away. "You won't get far."
"You can't do this," you whisper.
"Do what?" He hops down, landing inches from you. "Love you?"
Your stomach churns. "You're being delusional"
He laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Oh, delusional, really? Im not delusional, you just don't get it yet. But you will! Soon..."
You stopped showing up to practice.
Not because you want to, but because Sonic doesn't let you.
He keeps you close, always within reach. If you try to slip away, he's there in an instant, arms wrapped around you in a crushing embrace. "You don't need them, youre too good for them, the dont deserve you... You have me."
He's not lying.
You do have him.
You have Sonic when you wake up and find him curled beside you, despite locking your doors. You have Sonic when he carries you through the wind, the world blurring past as he whispers how only he can keep up with you.
You have Sonic when he grips your hands just a little too tightly, his voice trembling as he asks, "You love me too, right?"
You don't answer.
Because you don't know what would happen if you did.
A/n: just realized i accidentally changed tenses alotvin this, uhm, im not gonna change it because im lazy.
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February 01 - Honey | word count: 672 | @black-brothers-microfic
They are sitting in the common room, a bottle of firewhiskey making it’s rounds. Regulus had already regretted agreeing to come when he first entered the Room of Requirement to find his brother and his friends already gathered around the fireplace. But he had already been spotted, and he could hardly deny his boyfriend as he made grabby hands to pull Regulus onto his lap. That’s where he sits now, in one of the two chairs while his brother and Remus occupy the other, leaving Barty, Evan, Dorcas, Marlene, and Peter on spare cushions and pillows on the ground.
He rests his head back against James’ shoulder, letting himself get lost in the feeling of James’ fingers in his hair, gently soothing the building ache. He’s been undeniably lucky with James, who somehow always manages to sense what Regulus needs, and gives it to him without question.
“What’s the worse injury you’ve had?” Marlene asks, and Regulus instantly tenses up. Out of all the questions that could have come from her mouth, it is the one that a majority of the people in this room would find uncomfortable. “I sprained my collarbone while playing rugby in primary school.”
“I fell from a tre—wait, no. My worst was when that bludger knocked me from my broom and I broke like ten bones.” James says, almost boasting as though the memory of that day doesn’t put an ache in Regulus’ bones. He had been worried sick, afraid the other boy might not wake up, or if he did, that the damage would be too severe to ever play Quidditch again.
“Mrs. Norris caught me while in animagus form last year.” Peter shudders. “I still have the scars from her teeth.”
“I think we all know what mine is.” Remus says, voice heavy. Sirius shifts in his seat, curling around Remus the best he can, as though that will shield him from the monster living in his own body. He tucks his face into Remus’ neck, muttering something there. Cheeks burning as he unwillingly intrudes in a private moment, Regulus turns to James.
“Potion explosion because somebody wasn’t paying attention.”
“You can hardly blame me when you are far more interesting than any potion we could have been brewing.”
“Uh, huh.”
“My blood oath with Evan.” Barty says, drawing everybody’s attention to him. He merely grins, wiggling his eyebrows at Evan.
“Your what?” How could he have missed two of the most important people in his live taking a blood oath? His curiosity lasts for as long as it takes for the devilish grin to materialize on Barty’s face. “You know what, I don’t want to know.”
“What about you, Sirius?”
“I think… oh! The time I was attacked by a nest of hornets.”
“I’m sorry, you were what?”
“I haven’t told you guys this one? Oh, its great!”
“It’s not great, Sirius. It was stupid and unnecessarily risky.”
“Well now I have to know.” James insists.
“Well, little Reggie here wanted honey on his toast, but we didn’t have any.”
“And instead of asking Kreacher like anybody else would have, the idiot went and—”
Sirius reaches over and clamps his hand over Regulus’ mouth. “Don’t spoil the story. Stop licking me, Reg. Anyway, I was, I don’t know, nine? ten? either way, there was this bee’s nest in the garden. Nobody ever told me there were different kinds of bees, let alone different kinds of nests. I thought they were all the same thing. Honey came from bees, and bees lived in that nest. So, I climbed on a nearby bench and pulled it down.”
“Sirius.” James gasps through laughter. “Why?”
“I thought I was being a good brother! I had no idea I was going to be attacked.”
Regulus pries Sirius’ hand from his mouth, “The idiot was bedridden for a week.”
“It was worth it.”
“How? What part of that entire incident was ‘worth it’?”
“We got to spend that whole week together, and mother couldn’t do anything about it.”
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https-capri · 3 days ago
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Do I Wanna Know?
caleb x reader angst
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cw: angst (hurt no comfort), name-calling (ONCE), caleb is a lil ooc bc ik he cray cray for mc but not today! lower case on purpose
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it had been years since you had seen him, years that you took to grieve him and heal. now, your (what seemed like) long forgotten childhood best friend was standing before you. a cold, unfamiliar gaze presented itself to you, and you couldn't help but feel uneasy, even unsure that this was truly caleb and surely not the same boy you'd remembered.
"caleb.. it can't be, is it really you?"
a slow, thoughtful nod is the only response you get, seeing his eyes filled with guilt and an unfamiliar emotion. you rush into his embrace eagerly, hugging him tightly as if he were to disappear again.
unsure if it was due to shock or the fleets training, you're only met with a hand being placed on the small of your back in return. it feels like a small piece of your heart shattered, despite having grieved someone who never died, the version of them you knew did.
your mind races, flooded with too many emotions to manage.
"what happened to you?" the question comes out angered, despite your voice having cracked whilst on the brink of sobbing.
he rubs the back of his neck, his eyes scanning yours. "i joined the fleet, i had nowhere else to go" he states simply, seemingly having skipped over the entire incident that left you shattered.
"you left me, caleb. i grieved you because i thought you were gone." you seethe, knowing the angry facade on your face was wearing thin, just happy that he was back.. despite being a different caleb than who you remembered.
"well i'm back now, aren't i? ...what good is it to still be upset" he retorts, almost uninterested in the both of you being reunited.
"besides, we'll have to go our separate ways again soon enough."
it feels like the breath is being pulled from out of your lungs, why is he not happy to see me? what did they do to him?
"do you just not care that we finally get to see eachother again?" a single tear rolls down your cheek, feeling the walls cracking.
he scoffs.
"hey- pipsqueak, i had to grieve you too, and grandma. i just.. learned to live a life without you"
he finally admits it. slowly, which didn't help the pain, but at least he confessed.
he had moved on
his nickname didn't comfort you the way it used to, instead feeling like someone had poured sand into your lungs.
"gege.."
you whisper, hardly audible as your brain racks the reasons he could've turned so cruel.
"don't you love me?"
a pained look grazes his face, only for a quarter of a second. taking its place is a look of pity, which doesn't make you feel better at all.
the words leave your lips like vomit, unable to stop them despite trying to bite your tongue for the better good.
"i.." his lips purse, looking for an answer.
daringly, you near closer to him, hoping to any godly being above that you could bring the old caleb back and- save him.
"i love you, caleb. can't you see that?" you admit, the confession being distorted through soft cries and sniffles.
he looks away, his face red. he looks uncomfortable.
"i have someone." he finally blurts out.
it feels like a gunshot. ever since you two were kids you had always planned a future with eachother in it. pinky promises late at night, warm breaths blowing dandelions into the summer breeze, wishes on eyelashes, all to be with him in the future.
you gritted your teeth, biting back any kind of pathetic response. you lower your head, a soft, almost hesitant nod because you didn't want to accept that.
you felt like one of his fan girls back in high school, wondering if this is how they felt when he'd politely reject them. and also wondering if the other girls he's with now is getting the same treatment you used to.
the air felt tense, and awkward. there was nothing you could've said in that moment to have the ending you'd always hoped for.
sucking in a stiff inhale through clenched teeth, your gaze meets his once more.
"well, i hope you both are happy" you lie, speaking with a weak, guilty tone.
you had hoped this would be the turning point, that part where caleb reaches out and changes his mind, knowing that you're the one he wants, the only one there's ever been.
you can see him shaking his head from your side view, slowly turning to leave this godforsaken room. it's like you're subconsciously giving him the time to make a decision you knew wasn't going to happen.
"goodbye" you say flatly, hand gripping the doorknob with more pressure than intended, knowing that when you leave this room, closing the door behind you- that you're not only leaving this place for good, but caleb along with it.
"bye" he calls out, no motive to stop you from leaving.
@erensfeed @sxlfcxst
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paladinsbrainrot · 15 hours ago
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hello just wanted to say I think you’re really cool and I love your art!! I also LOVE romike too, super excited for their dynamic in s5
I’d love to hear your thoughts on them and if you have any predictions/theories/things you’d like to see with them next season :]
OHHHHH MY GOD thank you this is such an amazing question !!!! so sorry it took me so long to answer however i have very many Thoughts™
the idea of robin and mike being friends is soooo dear to me you don't even understand. romike has been on my mind since before s4 even came out #Tbh I just think that they are so similar and tethered and it's just so shocking that they haven't properly interacted yet!!!
obviously I think romike first came to fruition through the idea that robin would act like a gay mentor to mike and kind of guide him to realize his feelings for will, but they're so much more than this mentor/mentee relationship. not only would it be an interesting dynamic to explore as they have barely interacted, but they are literally both Anxiety As A Person and their personalities would compliment each other so well. mike's reluctance to open up to people & robin's willingness to ramble to anyone she meets? sign me up. both are bottling up their emotions in totally different ways. i would live for them awkwardly bumping into each other and mike finding her annoying at first but then realizing she is literally his carbon copy and that they are so much more alike than he first thought. (I would argue that they are literally madwheeler 2.0 sans the bitchiness.) them both bonding over the fact that they have trouble expressing their emotions and that they feel like outsiders????? them both realizing they are stuck in the same boat and using each other as an outlet to open up (+ it would be way easier for them to talk about these things because they aren't super close)????? hEllooooo duffers Are u seeing this?????? their dynamic would be so interesting if they don't write it I'm going to have to do it myself.
as for general predictions/theories..... oh boy I have Lots!!!!
I think that the writers are leaning more towards a rowill focus than a romike one this season so I don't think we will see as much as them as I would hope for. BUT this post gives me the idea that we will get a bunch of romikewill scenes on the farm with maybe a dash of one-on-one romike content sprinkled in there for the wellbeing of the people (the people being me and the other two romike fans on this app). as much as I love romike I think will and robin are the characters who Need to talk to each other the most because they're both still closeted. though as I said before I pray that the duffers will realize the potential that romike has as well 🙏
so I've basically done a whole lot of rambling and haven't even answered your question so I'm just gonna get straight to what I want for them this szn if this were my perfect world 🎉
I have this one recurring dream that mainly only exists because of a fic I wrote an extremely long time ago but basicalllyyy the essence of it was that mike and el were in this weird phase in their relationship where they were distant, awkward, and were almost uncomfortable around each other? so mike, incredibly frustrated and fed up with this, starts acting moody and withdrawn from everyone else. also bc this is s5 lets just add the fact that his sister is missing, he just got beat up by the school bullies, and maybe he and will got into the painting fight or something. so just imagine mike being almost reclusive and reserved on the farm set. maybe robin notices his lack of exuberance (that's probably not the right word but whatever) and decides to take matters into her own hands. she asks what his deal is and if he's doing all right with everything going on. mike pretends he's super annoyed by her because of all the questions she asks him but maybe she makes some offhand remark about how they're stuck on this stupid farm and it'll only get worse if he keeps acting like this. (and also, they have bigger issues to worry about!) so mike, quickly realizing that robin is literally the only person on this farm that is there for him to talk to, opens up to her a little reluctantly about everything going on with him. it's important that this is a slow process and that he doesn't dump everything on her at once. maybe he says that he doesn't know what he's doing with his and el's relationship and how will's not talking to him and that he feels he keeps screwing things up with the people he cares about the most. insert moment of robin being robin and clearing up the air, relieving the tension off mike's shoulders, and also giving him some very valuable advice!! obviously there's much more here to explore upon but the general gist of it is that they become much closer after this. robin learns that she can open up to mike too, about how some "person" that she's interested in is giving her mixed signals and how she is actually very scared about the end of the world but feels like she has to deflect everything with humour. they learn they are able to confide in each other and boom romike world domination!!!
I kind of what them to be like a mix of steve & robin and mike & nancy and mike & max, if that makes sense. like steve and robin's closeness, mike and nancy's worry about each other, and mike and max's bickering and (loving) malice. Idk mike is very irritable and snarky and robin is very direct and straightforward and also very tentative so I think their dynamic would just feel natural and compliment each of their personalities!!
I also think their dynamic could be veryyy beneficial to discovering the key to destroying vecna once and for all !!! these two are arguably the smartest characters on the show and work in very like minded ways. robin figured out when blue meets yellow in the west (cough) and that music is the key to getting out of vecna's mindscapes. mike has had wayyy too many clutch moments during the show that I can't mention here otherwise this post would get too long, but you get the point. putting both of their brains together might help our characters figure out how to end this battle. this script that maya hawke posted a while back that features both of mike and robin's names makes me very hopeful that this will be a possibility in s5. (potential st5 spoilers incoming ->) my current running Theory is that mike and robin discover that the military or hnl (is it still running in s5? idk) are running experiments on kids again and use the mccorkle farm and subsequent tunnels underneath to help the kids escape. (mayhaps this is how derek ends up on the farm after being spotted with the military??? idk.)
I am trying not to get my hopes up about robin and mike being spotted at hawkins lab together (potentially with el and will too 👀) but I have a feeling that this is related to whatever was going on in the tunnels. I have No Clue about what is going down at hawkins lab but one can only hope that they are there because the gang realized they needed two of the smartest people as well as the two strongest/most powerful to figure out the situation with the gates. great minds think alike or something like that!!!
this is more leaning towards romikewill territory but Idk I would just liveeeee for a scene of robin picking up on the labyrinthine circumstance that is will & mike's relationship and teasing mike about it !!! and in return I would like a Lot of mike teasing robin about vickie. I think (key word Think) vickie is on the farm with them so I need lots of scenes of robin not so subtly flirting with vickie and vickie flirting back and giggling like a maniac and mike noticing out of the corner of his eye and smiling. i want him to go up to robin later and just whisper shout that vickie is soooo into her. something similar happening with byler and robin noticing would also be very plausible. i just think it would be so sweet for mike and robin to see themselves in their friends and the people around them to help guide them towards their self-acceptance arcs, and learn that there is some hope for them after all ☹️ the only thing I don't want to see is only one of them being used just to further the romantic advances in the other's story. like I don't want the only reason robin interacts with will and mike in s5 to be to help guide byler towards e/o or for mike to do the same thing with rovickie!! it's important that they both realize that having queer friends is just as significant, and that they both are able to confide in each other about their struggles and worries, whether it's about their relationship or not.
there was also this one leak from early 2024 (another leak warning if you haven't clicked off this post already) that stated that mike and robin had a few scenes together because mike was worried about will, and robin was worried about vickie, and bonded because of this. I think this is a much more plausible way for them to start talking to each other than that scenario I mentioned earlier lol. I really hope that vickie is related to derek or the turnbows in some capacity; it would make her such less of a random character and also give robin a reason to be worried about her (and would also tie into them helping derek escape and the fact that he's on the farm with the rest of them). romike confiding in each other about the fact that they feel like they are useless/can't save the people they love AUGHHHH give it to me now . (edit: the leak is mentioned somewhere in this post you just may have to dig for it)
this post is very long and a total incoherent ramble so I am Very sorry but unfortunately I will never be normal about romike a day in my life. @willelworld (my lovely fellow romike enthusiast!) made a very great point in this post that I would like to end off with because it just sums up what is so perfect about them:
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I really hope that my favourite adhd losers will be able to bond over their social incompetencies and sexualities and suppressed emotions and so much more in st5!!!! they just have such best friend material so I hope the duffers do not waste this absolute perfect opportunity to write a queerplatonic friendship ^_^
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asheepinfrance · 3 days ago
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tashisita. tash tash. miss dunc dunc. the duncanator. tashi washi bobashi banana fana fofashi. i love her so bad. i hope this came out alright because ive been putting off writing this for maybe?? a week. so. yeah. it's been busy lately but also im just lazy so you choose what actually kept me from posting anything of substance... The Substance (2024). im gonna stop doing this now. hope you enjoy <3 as always yada yada comments and critiques appreciated blah blah i love you.
Had you taken the time to grow up faster, maybe your timing wouldn’t be so bad. You’d been too busy enjoying the sweet, innocent moments of childhood to grapple with your pending adulthood, or at least your first steps into it. College: the one thing that had been both at the forefront of your mind and desperately pushed to the wayside. If you can’t see it, it can’t see you. The process of applying was a blur, but Tashi had helped you out, and you do remember those parts. You remembered all the movie breaks, the nights smoking haphazardly rolled joints out of her bedroom window and panicking every time you heard her parents’ footsteps in the hall, you remember each night you’d spend hours whispering and giggling into each other’s faces and each time your bare leg would touch hers it just made you laugh more. Those times still felt like clinging onto childhood, those times still felt like being young enough not to worry about anything outside of the four walls of your bedroom, still painted the pale pink you’d chosen when you were four. You can’t change it now, or you lose that safety blanket of still having a piece left of little you. Perhaps that’s what was so unfortunate about the whole situation: Tashi was what kept you from growing up, and now that you’re about to leave, you’re grown enough to realize there’s something there you’d never wanted to acknowledge.
Everyone thinks Tashi is gorgeous, because she is. You’d never thought much of it when the thought crossed your mind. And, sure, that time in middle school spent using one another as kissing practice creeps up on you at night, when there’s an uncomfortable heat in your body that nothing seems to be fixing. You were teenagers then, just barely, inexperienced and using far too much tongue. Sloppy, to be blunt. It’s still the best kiss you’ve ever had. But none of this meant anything unless you let yourself think it did. So it meant nothing, until today. Until a day before Tashi goes to Stanford, and she’s ripped out of the grasp you didn’t know was as tight as it is. If you didn’t find something to make you laugh, you’d most certainly cry, and Tashi was never one for tears, so you made an arrangement. You’re pressed shoulder to shoulder on the bed you still sleep in for the next few days, watching some movie that you hadn’t watched since the 7th grade. It isn’t very good now that you both can think more critically than finding the actors attractive. She’d always found the teenage boy with the blue eyes adorable, you’d always found his girlfriend more interesting.
There’s nothing more interesting happening on screen than there is right beside you. A living, breathing girl who holds every piece of your heart in her hands, whether she knows it or not. You hadn’t even be aware until just now, but it’s not new. She’s had you since the moment you’d met her, just the way she caught everyone. She kept you, though, and that’s not a common privilege. You can live with never being loved by her if you get to keep the knowledge that for one time you were hers. She’s too perceptive not to feel your eyes on her, because she’s always been too much of everything that she has. You know she feels you listening to the sound of her breathing like it’s the world’s most beautiful symphony, she can see that you’re letting your eyes walk the leisurely path of her cheeks, climb the steep mountain of her nose, just to reunite with hers. You, however, aren’t perceptive enough to know that she revels in it.
Tashi found you confusing, despite understanding you so well. It’s not that she didn’t understand you, because she could probably write out your exact internal monologue if all she received was a sidelong glance, she didn’t understand why you do to her what you do. Was it your unending loyalty, like a dog to its owner? Was it the way you sought her out in every crowd, even if you could hold your own without her? Was it that you seem to be the only person who expects nothing of her but a friend? Maybe it was all of those things. Or, maybe, it was none of them. Maybe it was just that you are you, that you always have been you, despite the changes made. And she loves you like she thought she never could love anyone. She loves you the way she loves tennis: like you set everything in her on fire and make her bend and sway like a melting candle. It’s fine when it’s tennis. Tennis is set by rules, ones which she has an expert grasp on, and commands with ease. With you, it’s terrifying. She can’t predict the way you make her feel because it’s different. It’s new. It’s something that makes her fiddle with the cross around her neck at night, staring at her ceiling, because all she can think about is you, you, you. You when you borrowed her dress for a party and wore it better than she ever could, you when you curled into her in sleep, you when you floated through a room like your feet never needed to make contact with the ground. Effortless in all that you do, is what she thinks. You feel so deeply, and hold things so tenderly, and she’d rather never play tennis again than never experience the depths of you the way she wants to. 
She tells you she loves you, like she has a million times over. You respond the same way you have since middle school, a whispered reciprocation of sentiments. And she aches, she melts, you never stop watching her with utter fascination. She’s loved you for a long time, of course, because that’s what best friends do. She’s been in love with you since you first let her be herself, and not what tennis needs her to be: a teenage girl. She waits for the gears to start turning in your head, for that light in your eyes to shift to one of pensiveness. Tashi has never been one to wait for anything. She grabs opportunity by the hair and pulls it towards her. She doesn’t bask in glory, just moves on to the next conquest. But she waits for you. She’ll wait until her hair is gray and the smooth planes of your face have aged with time, and she’d love you just the same. It hurts to wait so long, but she likes it. She likes that ache to remind her she can feel, to remind her that this is a sacrifice worth making. Beauty is pain, and what you have, what you could have, is beautiful. It’s only right it should burn her a bit. 
You do realize, though. You realize, and convince yourself you’re wrong, and realize all over again. You take in that sweet, all-knowing gaze of hers and it’s still true that if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. Cry big, happy tears that run off your face and into your lap. Maybe she’d wipe them for you. But you choose to laugh. You laugh, untamed and free, raucous and unabashed, and the most beautiful thing Tashi has ever heard. That sound alone could pull her from sleep, send her into a trance. She’d do anything you asked if it meant hearing that again. She could go deaf and be satisfied with all she’s heard, blind because she’s seen all the beauty the world can offer, and it’s wrapped up into one tangible human being. A human being who’s now cupping her face in their palms and breathing in her scent and kissing her like she’d only ever been kissed in middle school. It’s more practiced and controlled now, with the two of you having gained experience through the years. It feels the same. It feels better. It feels like pulling gasps and sighs from each other’s mouths with the brush of a tongue or the caress of a thumb. Timing is bad, sure, now that there’s less time to explore this in person, but you’ve got tonight. You’ve got enough time to familiarize with each other’s bodies the way you have each other’s souls, to kiss one another breathless, to make your hearts beat in time. You can worry about the final things to pack, or the movie you were never really watching’s ending some other time. Right now, it’s Tashi. Tashi and the freedom of letting yourself be who you are, with who you want to be yourself with, without the fear of being judged for it.
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longagoitwastuesday · 4 months ago
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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maiaacchiato · 2 years ago
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thinking thoughts
#mia's ramblings#thinking abt that one time i was so uncomfortable with my friend's pda thing that i left them behind at the koi pond#like i literally just. stood up. started walking away#i still have no idea why it made me uncomfortable and even now just thinking about it makes me sick#for some reason idrk#also thinking about those times where i was so mentally exhausted from everything that i didnt have the energy to stand up so i just#didnt go to school#obviously i told people i was “sick” or “masakit pakiramdam ko” etc which i mean#its a half truth? atleast ???#and thinking about how i just want to avoid Her bc i do Not want to be dealing with their relationship problems at 6am but yk#the moment she starts up conversation i just#put those thoughts at the back of my head and pretend like im not fucking tired of her bullshit#i could be so. mentally drained. to the point that i just avoid everyone by going to coop on my own or going to 7-11 just to Breathe#but the moment someone talks to me like jack or salve or heck even kui my brain just. forces itself to act “normal” and by normal i mean no#-mentally drained yk?#like the moment literally anyone starts talking to me the thoughts of being mentally tired just get pushed back and idrk how to tell people#-that im mentally exhausted without sounding rude so i just#let my brain just bottle it up until im so tired mentally that i literally cannot function#i think its called being overstimulated? yea#which yeah basically this shit happens every. day. until my brain just goes nope youre shutting down no school for today also youre getting#-a fever too#which like??? idk why it happens???#and its not like i dont want to talk to them either#like#obviously i do#but talking to anyone when im like this makes it feel like an obligation#which fucking sucks because i dont like being obligated to do stuff i just want to do it because well#i want to??#and i feel bad for peewee bc usually he'll talk to me when im at my limit so my responses are very short and yea#this is why i always say 'im tired' whenever people ask how im doing
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disdaidal · 1 year ago
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I don't want to brag or sound too optimistic about it, but after three weeks of training at a private college, I think my lessons with this one particular immigrant student (who has serious motivational problems lemme tell ya) are finally starting to get through and there's been improvement.
Only slight improvement so far but I have spotted some, so maybe not all hope is lost yet.
Remains to be seen I guess.
#personal#so in case anyone's still wondering i'm studying to become a tutor/instructor/guidance counselor etc. etc. whatever it's called in english#and currently i mostly work with immigrants with language. sometimes i help high school students as well. but mostly immigrants#and there's this one immigrant student who's been there since last spring. and he still barely even knows the basics because he's 'given up#according to him that is. he told me this at least three times yesterday and i told him that's a problem#so i've been trying to hammer it through his head that he can't be sitting in classes and using his phone when he's supposed to be learning#or expect me or teachers giving him all the answers when he also needs to show a little effort and help us back as well#and that he needs to participate in pair and group activities in classes because we're a team and we need to work together#so basically he's been asking me to either teach him or then find someone who can teach him#i told one of our teachers this and she answered that he could also participate in evening activities at the college but he's not doing tha#and according to him he doesn't 'mingle'. so i told him maybe he should once in a while. get out of his comfort zone. at least try#to my surprise he actually showed up to one of the evening activities that i hosted. didn't do much anything there but sit but still#that was effort. he did exactly what i said despite it making him a little uncomfortable so that's improvement#so then yesterday he asked me about teaching him the language again. i told him i host a homework club at tuesdays & thursdays @ 3:30-4:30p#he showed up there yesterday and was the only student. so i had time to teach him basic greetings. weekdays. months. things he shoulda know#and i thought it's all probably in vain but i tried. so today. he was in their class and actually doing pair work and reading stuff aloud#and even translating some stuff when i asked. calling it easy. and that he's trying to use his phone less and memorize this stuff instead#to which the rest clapped at and cheered him on for. and i told this to the teacher afterwards when she asked me about him. and she gave#me a thumbs up and looked a little surprised but also delighted. because he's been a popular subject amongst ourselves for a reason#so i don't want to get too optimistic about it. because he still has an attitude problem. but he's tried a little at least. so there's hope
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fragglerockopinions · 2 years ago
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I'm like. actively being abused at home. What do I even do about that.
#://#Today she said I am disgusting and unapproachable and will never have friends or find love because I make everyone I meet uncomfortable#Because I don't shave my legs#When I told her I keep blacking out from my chronic pain she said 'that's a little dramatic'#When I told her I should probably go to the hospital for that she shushed me because she was trying to watch her fuckin. Fringe show#Always with the shushing. Every time I speak :((#She said I should go out & do something and quit being so lazy. So i said I would ride my bike but the tire is flat#She said 'why are you so useless' :((#When I was projectile vomiting for three days I told her I had a 104°F temperature and she said 'darn'#I asked if she wanted to watch Ponyo with me and she said 'oh my god I don't want to watch your stupid crap shit'#When I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up (agony for chronic pain btw) she felt where it was still sticky and said#I'm so stupid and it's my fault we have ants (we do not have ants)#So I said 'yeah mommy I think my fine motor skills are getting worse I can't hold things or swallow very well'#She said 'have you tried paying attention??' :((((#I told her I had a sunburn and it hurt and she said 'youre so needy'#I got beat up in middle school and I was crying about it and she said it was all my fault because I was annoying#I was also sexually assaulted that same week but after the way she responded to that I was not going to tell her#One time when we were at the doctor and checked yes for suicidal thoughts she started screaming and crying#About how much we hate her and think she is a bad mother and how ungrateful we are#If I read this list to her she would say I was making it up and trying to make her look like a bad evil person#Because she is!!! She insults and belittles me so much I genuinely wish she would just beat my ass instead#I'm 20 years old why are you talking to me this way#I know it's all verbal abuse but. I'm so fucking miserable I want to die living here#Oh wait one time she strangled my little sibling because they complained about finding blood in their can of tuna
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ssaalexblake · 2 years ago
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jodie whittaker not have the same haircut as my sister challenge
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superspoonie24 · 2 years ago
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Whole fuck ton of ranting and triggers. I'm mad. Don't read if you're not okay.
There's a lot of reasons we're "too lazy" to fight, but they all boil down to Capitalistic Greed and the fact that anyone who actually has money and energy to fight is disillusioned and believes that same belief you're spouting: we're just not trying hard enough. 60% of the country is living paycheck to paycheck. Working one entry or even mid level job fulltime doesn't cover expenses anymore. Our health"care" system is just legalized eugenics. And anyone who fights back is silenced, criticized, brutalized or fucking killed. So yeah. We're too "lazy" to fight back. Super happy you can have peaceful protests weekly. We can't even go to school anymore without getting shot and killed. And the people in charge Do. Not. Care. The country is consistently working against us. And instead of other people stepping in to help us, you criticize and say we're lazy and not trying. Fuck off. You go through years of hearing kids are dying at school, having hard lockdown drills weekly (and if you don't know, that means the doors are locked and taped shut. Lights are off. The entire class of 30, 40, or even 50+ students hide in one fucking corner of the room. And you're silent as you all try not to have a panic attack. Cause your school could be next.). Hell. We can't even leave campus if there is a fire alarm. We have to wait for an announcement over the speaker telling us it's safe cause it could've been pulled to get everyone out of the classes to kill us. Imagine seeing back to school ads that are so fucked up they need a trigger warning cause they are talking about bullet proof backpacks and shoe laces as tourniquets and end with a kid saying goodbye to their mom, not knowing if they're going to see them again. Oh. And they're twelve.
Not even mentioning the fact that it wasn't until 2010 ish that it was illegal for insurance companies to deny covering you for having a preexisting condition. Ya know one of the examples? Being pregnant.
It's not our fucking fault we're tired. It's a damn miracle we havent all killed ourselves. So go enjoy a functioning government that isn't out to kill you. Unless you actually want to help, shut the fuck up about how we're "lazy".
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Meanwhile in France:
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steviescrystals · 8 months ago
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ignore this post i’m just whining again
#i HATE being new with a passion like it is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in#i had extreme social anxiety as a kid (still do i’ve just learned how to manage it better) that had a huge impact on me in school#i switched schools 3 times between the ages of 5 and 10 and tbh i made friends pretty quickly every time#but i was still so indescribably anxious every time bc i just hated being the new kid so much#and i thought that was all behind me bc at the time it was bc i didn’t know anyone and everyone else already had friends#but as i’ve gotten older that same feeling has come back and this time it’s when i’m starting at a new job instead of a new school#i started working when i was 16 and for the first month or two i was so stressed and uncomfortable all the time#and i thought it was normal bc it was my first job ever#which was reinforced when i was 19 and got another job and the adjustment period was a million times better#but i started working there 2 weeks after the business opened so literally everyone was new not just me#and now i’m realizing that was probably the only reason i settled in so easily#bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy#like everything’s been super easy so far and it’s the exact same type of work i was doing before so i already know what i’m doing#and everyone i’ve met has been nice and chill but i’m still so uncomfortable#like every time i talk to my coworkers i’m just thinking ‘oh my god this is so awkward’ the whole time and i can’t stop#and i just feel so out of place and it sucks bc i was so excited about this job and rn i just feel so anxious every time i go to work#and the worst part is i felt the same way when i was new at my first job and (to a lesser extent) my second job#so logically i know it’s just bc it’s my first week and it takes time to adjust and it’ll be fine eventually#but knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away or help me deal with it#like what can i do besides just accepting that work is going to suck for the next month??#the whole thing is just kind of making me spiral bc i desperately needed a new job and this is literally the only one i wanted#but at the same time i’m still so upset about getting laid off from my last job even though it’s been 3 months#and the more anxious i feel at this new job the more i miss my old job#and i cannot allow myself to fall back into the headspace i was in for all of march after losing that job#maybe this is irrational bc it was just a job but the layoff genuinely sent me into one of the worst depressive episodes of my life#so idk i guess i was just really hoping i would love this job right away so i could finally see a bright side to getting laid off#and i mean i don’t have any complaints about the job so far but my anxiety is just making me so unhappy anyway#and i just miss my old job so much and i think about it nonstop and i really fucking hate being new and idk what else to say or do#vent#lj.txt
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nymph1e · 1 year ago
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On Discomfort and Morality
My father finds gay men uncomfortable.
He's told me before that it's like a knee-jerk for him. Something he doesn't consciously control. He sees two men behaving romantically, and his body reacts with mild discomfort.
In the 1960s, when he was in high school, most of the boys in his form thought he was gay on the simple fact that he wasn't homophobic. He wouldn't participate in insulting queer people, he didn't care if someone was gay, he wouldn't have a problem hanging out with gay people. So people thought he was gay. That's how prevalent homophobia was in his formative years.
When I was 10, my dad told me very seriously that Holmes and Watson were gay. That it was obvious from the literature and the time period that they were meant to be a gay couple. When I was 14 and I came out to my parents as bi, when my mum was upset my dad ripped into her for it. Told her that she was being stupid, that it was my life to live how I wanted to and that she needed to get over herself.
My dad formed my views on censorship: that being that it was completely ridiculous and thoroughly evil. He didn't believe in censorship of any kind. If I asked him a question about sex, he answered it honestly. When I was 12 and I asked him about homosexuality, still young and uncertain, he told me that there was nothing wrong with it. That it was just how some people were. That there was likely an evolutionary reason for it. And that for some people it was uncomfortable on an instinctual level.
He taught me that just because you're uncomfortable with something, doesn't make it wrong. He also taught me that most people don't understand this.
I see a lot of this on the internet as of the last few years. The anti shipping movement, the terf movement, the anti ace movement. It all stems from discomfort that people have crossed wires into believing means wrong. Really every -ism and -phobia out there stems from this same fundamental aspect of humanity.
The next time you see something and you automatically think it's disgusting, or wrong, or immoral, I invite you to ask yourself: is this actually wrong or does this just make me uncomfortable?
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toothfa-1-ry · 30 days ago
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YOU STILL LIKE IT THOUGH
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GENRE: Fluff, crack fic ish?
PAIRING: Choi su-bong/thanos x preg!fem!reader
FEAT: Nam gyu as the supportive bestie (that he never rlly was)
A/N: this fic i based of a request from anon !! Tbh i changed ALOT of the request (haha- sorry 😞) because I felt like it was a little repetitive and idk i just can't write rlly emotional scenes with Thanos for some reason (??) ALSO I feel like there are parts where Thanos seems ooc? Idk.. i wrote this instead of studying in the span of 30 mins
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"Whoo!" You hear Thanos shout on the top of his voice while he high fives nam gyu as they both jump up and down as if they were children in elementary school after winning a play ground game
You manage your groan, suppressing it while you stare at them from afar, of course that crazy fucker managed to pass through the first game.
You hated to admit it, but a part of you was relieved,
You always had a thing for psycho guys, and your ex boyfriend? The one with the brightly dyed hair who was now doing some weird dance seemed to proudly embody every part of that sentiment.
You carefully watch from afar, not wanting to catch his eyes, your hand unknowingly lay over your stomach while you move uncomfortably in the bunk bed
Fuck, your feeling dizzy all over again
You hear a thud against your bed post, you look up slowly, your eyes slightly squinting to see the purple haired boy with a usual frown on his face
"Hey" his eyebrows raise "are you okay"
"I thought I told you to get lost earlier"
Your mood swings weren't really helping either
"Geez woman" thanos tchs but sits beside you in your bed anyways "im just trying to help" grumbling under his breath but the cautious expression in his face saied otherwise
"I came here to brag about how amazing i usually am but seeing you like this is just killing the vibe yknow"
he makes a hand gesture in the air, leaning face closer in an attempt to make you smile which does not go wasted as the smile you tried to supress escaped your face
"Fuck off you loser" your still kneeling, your hands over your knees and your face hiding behind your knees but he hears the smile in your voice anyways.
He wouldn't want to admit it, but he was relieved
He always had a thing for girls with pretty voices and you? The girl right next to him had to have one of the prettiest voices he had ever heard. Ofcourse who would better know than a rapper like himself?
"I thought I told you to stick close to me, instead you leech to that crazy old man" thanos says as he points towards gi hun who sat far away in the opposite side
You immediately slap his hand, causing him to wince while retracing it back, rubbing it softly
"How many times will I tell you! You shouldn't point your hands at strangers especially to people who are older" you scold him rather loudly causing him to wince even more
"Agh" thanos ruffles his neon hair while complaining "why don't you shout louder so that everyone will hear and laugh at me?"
You resist the urge to roll your eyes upon his childish manners, he really didn't change
Thanos suddenly bangs the top of the bunk with a loud sound, taking you by shock
"Oi" his voice loud and almost threatening "nam gyu" calling out the man above the bed
Immediately your taken by shock once more when a man's head pops upside down, with black oily hair falling all over his face from above the bed
"Yes Thanos?" Nam gyu quickly inquired while sparing you a quick glance which didn't go unnoticed by the scowling man next to you
"Did you hear her telling me off?" He points at nam gyu before quickly adding "careful, there's only one correct answer"
Nam gyu pauses and thinks which seems to be the wrong thing to do as it just annoys Thanos
"Whats wrong with you, tell me quickly!"
"N-no! Not at all! Infact nobody heard anything!" Nam gyu quickly says, obviously lying but this seemed to please Thanos who now held a haughty face
Wow, this is was supposedly the father of your unborn child. Shame you and your taste in weird guys
Before Thanos could open his mouth to say something, a group of pink guards enter the room with large containers
Straight away you freeze up, shrinking behind the bed while your heart hammered, fear spread across your face
Noticing your expression on your face, instinctively Thanos covers you with his back, shielding you with his arms which covered your sides while his expression, though you could not see was filled with wariness
The pink guards open the large containers they were carrying as everyone watched quietly, scared as they were unsure of what to expect, you included
The pink guard with the white circle lifts up a piece of bread and milk "lunch time" announcing in the same robotic voice like all the other guards
A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as your shoulders relax, unlike you Thanos still shields you, covering your face with his back
You hit him with a thud on the back of his head
"What the hell man" thanos turns around, his eyes glaring at you
"Stop trying to act like a hero you shameless prick" you frown even though his actions did leave you with a warm feeling in your heart
"Your acting so protective after all the stunt you pulled before we broke up" you continue "seeing you act all so protective is just pissing me off even more"
Thanos throws his head back, groaning "give me a break woman. You know I was going through a hard time"
"Bullshit" your fold your arms, as if it was act to protect yourself, and the unborn baby in your stomach.
The poor thing was only 2 months old
The both of you hear nam gyu cough from above the bed, forgetting that he was there in the first place
Again Thanos bangs the top of the bunk, causing you to give him a look
"Stop doing that" you scold him
"doing what?" Thanos raises his eyebrow before banging the top of the bunk again while sticking his tongue at you
Nam gyu pops back down again, upside down, the sight would have been hilarious only if you weren't experiencing the pain in your stomach and the sight of the man sitting beside you
"Go get lunch for me and my girl" thanos tilts his head towards you while avoiding your eyecontact while you tell yourself not to think about the fact that he still referred to you as 'his girl'
"go fast what are you still doing here" thanks reprimanded nam gyu
Nam gyu awkwardly stood unsure of what to say "but it's just one bread and one milk per person"
"Then give her yours" thanos said simply "and go steal someone's lunch for me"
"Then what about for me?" Nam gyu asked dumbfounded which caused Thanos to pause and think for a while
"That's not my fucking problem man- now go" he pushes him away, leaving you with a heavy sigh
"I don't want to eat"
"Don't talk bullshit" thanos eyes you "you think i'm gonna let you starve? I never did, and i wont be starting now"
Again with the whole protective boyfriend act, fuck, why did it make your heart race a little?
"Your still such an asshole, you didnt change a bit" you huffed as you leaned behind, resting your back against the wall
"Well you changed" thanos says which quirks your curiosity
"How so?'
"I don't know" he shrugs "something is different. Something happened, i can't exactly ppint my fi ger at it though"
Your eyes dart away from his while your breathing started to fasten slightly
"Oh yea? How so?" You ask, your voice slightly higher than it was which Thanos picks up immediately
"Ohoho" he grins "did I get it right? Did you get something done?" He glances you up and down which leads you to hitting him
"Ow- i was just joking, you still take everything so seriously" he grumbled holding your hand from hitting him "I wish that part had changed'
Your other hand comes swinging which he again grabs softly
"jokingg" he says in a sing song voice before letting both your arms go leaving you with a scowl and him with a satisfied smirk in his face
"Asshole" you mutter which stretches his smirk even more
"You still like it though"
You almost swear you heard a hint of vulnerability in his tone, prompting you to glance at him quickly just to catch him already looking at you
"So? Aren't you gonna ask me what has changed?" You ask slowly, in your head trying to process whether your doing the right thing or not,
You first found out you were pregnant with your baby right after you and Thanos broke up.
The following days, whenever you went to pay him a visit, he was always missing, causing you to believe maybe it was better for him not to know. And then you suddenly meet him for the first time after your breakup during the squid games
The timing was almost comical
"Why?" Thanos continued still with an amused face "you still seem the same on the inside"
Your hand immediately goes to your stomach, slowly tracing along it from above the green track jacket which everyone wore
"Don't tell me your sick or something" thanos asks with his voice slightly raised as he notices your action "fuck are you?"
His eyes slightly widens as he frowns "hey" he snaps his finger upon your zoning out "are you sick?"
"Hm?" You ask confused
"What the fuck" he swears under his breath with a anxious expression on his face while his hand runs through his finger "is that why your here? To win some money for your treatment?"
"Su Bong its not like that-" All your attempts of correcting him seemed to be futile as he sweared loudly, getting out of the bed
"Shit shit shit!" He grabs his head while he paced around the floor, a sight you had seen a few times over the span of your relationship
"ofcourse that's why your here, you would only be here for a sensible reason"
"Oh, su bong" you attempt to appeal to him, reaching your hand out, pulling his closer towards you while he hands were still over his head, eyes lowered
"Fuck baby I'm so sorry" he breathed out "shit i never should have left, i thought" he paused "I thought I'd win some money and get you back, give you the life you really deserve but"
You watch his dazed expression while he rambled, you bit you underlip, hesitant of whether to tell him the truth still
"Fuck, i didn't even know that, i didn't even know you were sick-"
Before he could continue again you grab his face , forcing him to look at your face
"I'm not sick, that's not why im here"
Thanos breathed heavily, everything felt so real suddenly, he felt his cross necklace strapped around his neck, his fingers itching to pop a pill in his mouth to sooth his nerves
"I'm not sick" you shake your head as you lean your forehead against his "su-bong"
You can still feel his strained breaths and darting eyes
"I'm pregnant"
And it all stopped,
You held your breath, afraid of what would happen if you let go, your could heart your heartbeat from your ears, feel the realisation setting inside thanos,
You were scared. Scared of how he would react
He breaks away first, slowly and gently. Staring at you with no expression in his face,
"And it's yours" you rapidly feel the need to add, taken back by his silence which didn't not suit him "and i know having a kid was never in your plan, and i know things are over between us but-"
Your body is wrapped by his arms and his face nestles in your neck, pulling your deeper in his embrace
"Holy shit" thanos whispers in your ear, you can hear the giddiness radiating off his voice "im a dad"
"Yea you are" you laugh a little as you say "your a dad"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I never got the chance to"
Thanos furrows his eyebrows but doesn't press any more "will you let me be our baby's dad?" He ask
"You know I grew up without a dad, this kid doesn't deserve that" he pokes your stomach with a soft grin which looked slightly odd against his eccentric features "I wanna be in this kids life"
You nodd softly, hearing his words
"And yours too" thanos looks up to you, grinning while he winked at you "senorita"
"You corny bastard" you laugh shaking your head
"You still like it though"
You nodd your head, with tenderness in your eyes and voice
"I do"
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊ extra scene pack !!
"Thanos!" Nam gyu came running with 3 pieces of sweet bread and 3 packets of milk "I got it! Do you know how much trouble i went to get all these-"
"Give it here " thanos grabbed all the bread and milk away "why did you take so long anyways"
Nam gyu held his hands as he pouted "I mean- i had to fight like 2 guys for bread and milk for us-"
Thanos brushed him off as he opened all the packets of bread and poked in the straw of all the milk packets
"Uhm thanos" nam gyu apprehensively called out "What are you doing?"
Thanos hands you all the bread and urges you to eat while he holds the packets of milk in his hand, ready to feed you
Thanos gestures towards you who was sitting in the bed, now wrapped in not only your jacket but his aswell "can't you see the lady is pregnant"
Nam gyu scratched his head "pregnant? With who?"
Thanos shakes his head, exaggerating his actions "dumb ass, she's pregnant with my baby ofcourse" he announced like it was the most obvious thing in the world
"Holy shit!" Nam gyu gaped his hand covering his mouth as he stares at you while you sheepishly smile at him
Thanos let out a small laugh which then slowly grew louder
"What? Why are you surprised? Ofcourse i succeeded in my first try- fuck" he kneels down in pain after being striked by you in the stomach
Nam gyu pulls a face in behalf of Thanos as he pats his back sympathetically while he whispers to you
"Don't worry. I know it probably wasnt his first try or anything- ow" nam gyu kneels on the ground after being hit in the stomach by thanos
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
"What... what are you guys doing?" You question as you approach Thanos and nam gyu who were huddled up in a corner, in a long rather quiet conversation which seemed like an unusual activity for both of them to part take in
Both in the 'discussion' and 'quiet' part
Thanos loops his arm around your with a proud smirk on his face while urging nam gyu to announce what they were discussing
Nam gyu nodds eagerly as gets up in his two feet quickly, standing straight and tall with a loud and confident voice "we have decided the perfect name for the baby !!"
You see thanos's broad smile and nam gyu's confident voice, uneasiness settling in your stomach for whatever name they picked out
"These is the name that Thanos and i have personally given a lot of thought for and chosen after much contemplation !!"
Thanos nodded his head with a content expression while he winked at you, assuring that you'll like it
"Ahem" nam gyu clears his throat "before I announce the name that we have chosen, i would like to give recognition to the name we almost chose aswell !!"
Thanos immediately began clapping his hand loudly "waaah, I never knew you could speak so well "
This comment made nam gyu's chest fill swell with pride as he puffs out his chest a little
"I shall now, announce the first runners up, the name that almost was given to the new born baby"
nam gyu pauses which prompts Thanos to make the sound of drum rolls
"Nebula" nam gyu announces as he and thanos clap loudly.
Seeing your still figure both men urge you to claps aswell
"Nebula?" You mutter under your breath "where have i heard that name before?"
"And now, the name that has been selected over numerous selection test and discussion, the name of the baby is" nam gyu points at your stomach
"Gamora"
Thanos whoops loudly, both nam gyu and him clapping their hands in the air while you stand off handedly as it hits you
"Your naming our child after the daughter of the purple alien monster from a superhero movie?!"
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starsofang · 6 months ago
Text
Single Dad!Simon who vowed to never trust another woman again after his failed past. He was locked up with the key thrown away, permanently off of the market.
At least that’s what he’d told himself for years. Now, he was beginning to have cold feet.
Simon needed a nanny, one that he could trust completely. He didn’t play about his child, and he’d be damned if he got set up with someone of ill intentions.
But, he was desperate.
Price needed him back periodically, even after his retirement, and he agreed. After all, money was tight when he parented on his own with a growing child.
That was when you came in. Soap had been a pal and recommended an old family friend, somebody he knew Simon could trust with his kid. Simon was skeptical, of course, but Soap had never done him wrong. Reluctantly, he agreed.
Simon wanted to have a trial period to see if you were truly built for the task. He wouldn’t let you off easily. His child was his world, and women weren’t exactly in his deck of cards when it came to trust.
You were as sweet as honey upon the first meeting with a smile that could outdo the sun. Your voice was soft as rain, flowing out of you like a summer song. You spoke to him with the upmost respect, and even more so with his child.
Simon knew he could trust Soap in guaranteeing somebody safe. You were the perfect candidate. He just didn’t know it would lead into him feeling emotions he’d buried a long, long time ago.
Attraction. Interest. A crush, dare he say, like he was a stupid high school kid that just saw the prettiest girl in class and fell head over heels.
He had a silly crush on his child’s nanny when he fully intended to keep it short and professional. That was the way he operated. He was like a working machine, and you had undone his mechanics so easily to the point he struggled to function.
Seeing you with his child only caused his attraction to fester deeper. His child became attached to your hip, smiling more than they had ever done, rambling nonsense to him every time he returned home and you left to go to yours.
It was becoming hard to deny it. You opened an old wound of Simon’s, awakening that deep and dreadful loneliness he felt every passing day. Every smile, every laugh, every Mr. Riley even though you were close in age, all of it had him on the edge of his seat.
He wanted more. He was tired of denying himself happiness. The idea of pushing away every woman was still very vivid in his mind, but denying you just seemed criminal the more time passed.
“I never got to thank you for allowing me in to your home, Mr. Riley,” you told him one day, ever so sweet.
“Thought I told you to call me Simon,” he grunted, avoiding your eyes as the two of you stood in the doorway.
“Right. Simon,” you corrected with a radiant smile. “You have quite the kid, I’ll tell you that. I always look forward to coming over. It makes my day seeing the two of you.”
Simon could feel his heart pattering against his ribcage. His hands were sweaty, and he prayed you didn’t notice him swipe them along his jeans.
“Both of us?” he hummed.
“Of course. You’re just as exciting to see, too, Mr. Ri- Simon.”
Simon’s lips quirked up the slightest bit, but his heart was in his ass. For the first time in a long time, a woman was making him shy and nervous, and it didn’t feel as bad as it did before.
“You’re always free to come over for dinner,” he offered.
“That sounds great, I’d love to have dinner with the two of you!” you exclaimed, beaming.
He didn’t understand how you could be so bright yet so oblivious at the same time.
Simon cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably on the balls of his feet. “I meant, the two of us.”
You stared at him like he’d grown two heads, and he nearly slammed the door in your face from the sheer anxiety that spiked in him. He couldn’t read your mind or what you were feeling, and Simon wished he had never said anything to begin with.
“That sounds wonderful,” you said instead. Now it was Simon’s turn to stare at you crazy. “I’d love that.”
Simon realized he was staring too long, so he cleared his throat once again, giving you a brief nod and looking away. “Alright. I’ll text you a day and have Soap pick up the little monster for the night.”
When you agreed and left with the smile that made his heart ache, he didn’t waste a second in texting Soap, telling him he’d be on nanny duty for one night that week.
Soap was quick to agree, but not without a little “You’re welcome ;)” text back.
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