#bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy

[steviescrystals]

ignore this post i’m just whining again

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

only angel - roman godfrey

roman godfrey x reader

title from the harry styles song of the same name

disclaimer: i’m not trying to distract from what’s going on by posting my work. that would never be my intent. times are trying, and i’m simply trying to provide some sort of entertainment or something to do with your time. i’m not fishing for any praise of any kind, i’m just putting my work out like i usually do. i love you all and please stay safe.

notes: in other news, if you haven’t noticed, i have a posting schedule now. it used to be every friday somewhere around midday, but that wasn’t really doing much with the algorithm, so i changed it to midday thursday. and i’ll be taking a week off next week bc i’m getting my wisdom teeth removed then. (which i’m incredibly anxious about) so if i go awol for a little while, that’s why. 

also, i have almost no knowledge of alcohol! and i don’t drink! so if i don’t have some commonly known drink or bartender knowledge, please forgive me.

***********

“i’ll take an old fashioned, please.” a woman asked politely, flashing her pearly whites.

“one apple martini with no olive,” a man requested.

“can i get a scotch on the rocks?” a man with a gruff voice asked. 

you were new to this job, but you had a bit of experience, both on the bartender end and the bar attender end. you quite liked this job; the customers were fairly friendly, and you were in a much less seedy part of town than the last dive bar you worked at. you didn’t mind it, though, it gave you your thick skin, something you need in a profession like this. 

you also liked this job better because you weren’t alone. this joint in particular had more bar space than seating space, so they commissioned two bartenders to work instead of just the one. the first few days you were a little rusty, not having worked in a while, but the two of you quickly got into the swing of things. 

his name was roman godfrey, heir to the godfrey fortune, who had a much different story on how he became a bartender. coming from such a wealthy family, he of course inherited the highest position at godfrey tower, which he quickly realized was way too much work for him to handle. roman had transformed from a spoiled rich brat to someone who had more respect for people who actually had to work to keep themselves afloat, and you’d say it changed him for the better. 

somewhere along the line he’d developed a respect for women, too, probably coming from some prior bartending experience. you admired him for that, mostly because you’d hate to work with the man he used to be. 

another reason you enjoyed working with him so much was the fact that his name was so well known across the entire state of pennsylvania that nobody really liked to fuck with him. they’d much rather stay on his peaceful side, because some, more than others, had seen his aggravated side before and were not too terribly inclined to see it again. this came in handy for you when a situation similar to tonight’s had arose.

it was a stormy night, much like many spring evenings. the bar was packed tighter than usual since it was raining much too hard for anyone to leave. it was nearing last call, and you and roman were trying to close up, much to the dismay of the customers. as you were starting to stack some glasses, a greasy older man sauntered up to the bar, plopping right down on the barstool you’d just cleaned.

“i’ll take a gin and tonic, and make it snappy, i’ve gotta get home,” the man demanded, tone devoid of any politeness. “and it’d do you some good to button that up a few more times.” he gestured to your uniform that had the first couple buttons undone to show some cleavage.

“excuse me?” you stammered, flabbergasted at his frankness. you paused what you were doing, frozen in shock.

“you heard me. now make me that drink, bitch, or i’ll climb over this fucking bar and make it myself.” the man insisted.

“you have no right to say that to me.” you defended. “this is my uniform, and if it makes me more comfortable to unbutton it, then i will. i don’t need input from people like you, and you certainly don’t deserve a drink for acting like that. we’re closing anyway, it’s too late.”

you’d handled customers like this before, but they tended to be much less blatant about their sexism and disrespect than this man was. you had started drying the glasses and putting them away at a much faster pace just to get this insistent man off your ass.

“come on, no ones over here, what’s it gotta take for a guy to get a drink?” the man’s inebriation became much more obvious now as he grabbed your forearm as you reached for another glass.

“let go of me!” you shrieked, much louder than you intended. this caught the attention of quite a few other customers and, of course, roman, who quickly made his way over to you.

“exactly what the fuck do you think you’re doing here, huh?” he growled, setting his piercing gaze on the man, who quickly unhanded you.

“i asked her very kindly if she would please make me a drink, and she said no.” he swallowed nervously, the mere presence and power seeping off of roman intimidating him.

“it didn’t sound very kind to me, man. i didn’t hear any fucking ‘please and thank you’s over here.” roman replied, trying to keep his calm with the man that he wanted to hypnotize into slamming his head on the bar.

the man stayed silent, his cocky asshole persona fading into fear at the hands of mr godfrey. roman nodded at his compliance and subtly placed a hand on top of yours on the glass you were holding.

“alright sir, if you would please kindly,” he put a strong emphasis on the word. “stop bothering my friend, get the fuck out of our bar, and head the fuck home, it would be much appreciated.”

as if entranced, the man pulled his jacket back up on his shoulders, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking straight into the rainstorm.

roman looked down at you and smiled his signature grin. usually that’d have your heart melting like a popsicle on a hot summer day, but you weren’t in the mood for it. the scowl on your face told him everything he needed to know.

“why the face? what did i do?” he asked genuinely. he had learned not to skip straight to defending his actions, finding that asking what his mistake was and how to fix it was a method much more popular with the ladies.

“you should’ve let me handle that myself.” you frowned, unhappy with the situation at hand.

“what? why would i do that?” he asked incredulously. “i’m not just gonna stand by and watch that cretin of a man treat you like that!”

“i know, and i thank you for that. your heart was in the right place, but you shouldn’t have stepped in.” you began. “for the longest time, almost every profession has been male-dominated, so us women get the short end of the stick when it comes to how we’re treated in the workplace.

“men have some sort of hero complex, thinking they can insert themselves into a situation they had nothing to do with and earn praise and thanks for their help that wasn’t asked for. men think that they can start confrontations with us and expect us to be silent and complient, to just sit there and take it because we’re not going to stand up for ourselves.” you watched the expression on his face morph to one of interest. “it was my situation, my job to deal with it, and my job to handle the repercussions, should there be any.

“men are accustomed to getting whatever they want, whenever they want it, and that’s got to change, and it starts with small things. small things like me, reprimanding that man for his actions and the way he spoke to me.” you took a breath. “i’m glad you recognized something was happening, but you should’ve only stepped in had things gotten more violent.”

roman looked stunned, almost like he’d gotten a slap across the face. you shouldn’t be surprised, this was usually the reaction you got from men when you tried to educate them on the trials and tribulations of women, but something was different. rather than shocked and confused as to why you would think that, he seemed more understanding of your struggles. sympathetic, even.

he stood still for a moment, as if he was a sponge absorbing all the information you’d dumped on him. “wow, i had no idea there was so much behind that. thank you for letting me know.”

“can i..?” his question trailed off as he leaned down towards you, lips meeting yours. you melted into his embrace, the weeks of yearning for this exact moment finally catching up to you. he started to pull away, but you stood on your tiptoes and chased his lips. you both pulled away breathlessly, lips wet and pink.

“wow, that was,” the rest of your thoughts fell short, but as you looked at roman it was apparent he had the same idea, whatever that may be.

“can i walk you home?” he asked, gathering his things. you nodded up to him, smiling sheepishly as he gently placed your jacket on your shoulders.

the two of you managed to close the bar for the night and fortunately, the rain had died down enough for you to head home. roman held his umbrella above both of you as you curled into his side to escape the cold chill of the rain.

he dropped you off at your place, turning to leave before you spun him around. you hopped up the first two steps and leaned down to kiss him again, easier this time since you were at his level. he smiled against you and kissed back fervently, placing a hand on the area between your neck and shoulder for some leverage.

you said your goodbyes, heading into your house, still feeling the tingling sensation where his hand was as you smiled giddily.

**********

ignore the ending i cant write endings it’s a problem

the feminist jumped out a bit sorry not sorry

i wrote almost all of this last night bc inspiration suddenly struck and i had to take advantage of it and this turned out waayyy longer than intended oopsie

tags: @emmyrosee @jadelynlace @copper-boom @babyboy-cody @goblincxnt @hecohansen31 @skrsgardspam @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass @little-grunge-flowerz @manicpixiedreamguurl

[waterboysokka]

What You Look Like; ATLA oneshot

Summary: It was easier when Zuko never had to explain why he had his scar. It was easier whenever everyone took to the common theme to never ask. It's harder to avoid a blind girl who doesn't even know it's there. (Three weeks post-canon)

Word count: 3,882

Note: Hii! Welcome to the first ATLA fic related thing I’ve posted on here so far :) This is a one shot that basically is deep 5am talks with Zuko and Toph. I dunno, I love their friendship and I felt like it had the potential to be so deep and intellectual. Soooo, that’s what this is! It’s basically Toph asking about Zuko’s scar (I saw a fic rec list of this prompt somewhere but now I can’t find it?? I would link it if I could!) Anyways, I listened to disney lullaby songs while writing this bc it just?? fit? Idk, it’s soft and kinda sad... But besides all of that, I hope you guys like it!! It’ll also be up on my AO3, which is linked in my bio!

Toph groaned as she rolled over once more in the bed that she could tell was just all-too big for her. She hadn’t asked for a separate room, she actually didn’t mind sleeping with the rest of the group, but Zuko's maids had insisted on each of them getting their own room since there were so many to go around.

It had been only three weeks since the defeat of Ozai and Zuko’s overtaken the role of Fire Lord. She continued to forget that he wasn’t just a prince anymore, he now had responsibilities- bigger than any of them had realized.

So when he had asked them to stay with him until things got in order, none of them were opposed. Maybe it was because they weren't quite ready to adjust to their new life in totality yet, or maybe they were fearful about losing their friend to the immense amount of stress that he had just been put under. 

Whichever it was, it didn’t matter, because they were still here as a team for Zuko.

But all of that didn’t change that the bed that she was put in was incredibly uncomfy for it to be owned by royalty. She felt like she was drowning in sheets and slowly getting devoured by the mattress itself.

Frustrated, Toph groaned and pushed herself out of bed. She needed tea. After being here for a couple of weeks, she was finally able to understand the layout of the palace without being attached to Aang or Sokka’s arm, as she used to be. She knew it was thirty-two steps down the hall to the right, then down the stairs, and one hundred and twelve steps to the kitchen- not counting the columns she’d have to dodge.

She hummed softly as she counted in her head the steps confidently, knowing she didn’t miscalculate considering that this was the fifth time she’d done this walk to get tea since they’d arrived.

“Toph?”

The voice startled her- not because she couldn’t sense someone there, but because she didn’t expect anyone to be awake. All the other times she had done this she had been the only one.

“Zuko?” She asked and raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t expect you to be awake.” “I could say the same thing to you,” Zuko replied.

“Well, I’m just down here to get some tea and then I’m leaving,” Toph explained nonchalantly and walked around the bar, feeling her way down the long, cool counter to the tea kettle (which Iroh conveniently pulled back out at night once the maids left for her after she told him about her occurrences). As she got closer to the tea kettle, the counter got increasingly hotter until she jerked her hand back in shock.

“Did you make tea?” She asked Zuko, who she could tell was now sitting at the long table.

“Mhm,” He murmured, and she heard him take a long sip of it.

Toph rolled her eyes, already knowing that Zuko’s tea was nothing in comparison to Iroh’s. Luckily, she had learned from Iroh about the best way to make tea for herself and it sufficed. Zuko’s wouldn’t- it was basically hot leaf water.

“Are you dumping it out?” Zuko asked, perplexed. His voice wasn’t raspy, which was a hint to Toph that he had been awake much longer than she had realized. Had he even gone to sleep?

“I’m not drinking hot leaf water,” Toph answered with a shrug and began the stove up again to make a much better mixture.

It was silent for a while after that while she worked. She could tell that Zuko was still there, just sitting and silently sipping his tea. He was stressed, he was anxious. She deduced that this probably had something to do with the reason why he wasn’t asleep, and she couldn’t blame him.

Even after the hard time she had given Zuko, she still knew that being the Fire Lord wasn’t a breeze even though he liked to surface-level it to everyone. No one believed what he said, not even for a minute. Which was another running contender for their prolonged stay.

The tea kettle began to hiss, and she immediately took it off of the stove, cautious not to wake anyone else up, and poured herself a cup. She got ready to leave when something in the back of her mind tugged at her to sit with Zuko, just for a minute.

So, that’s what she did.

Toph approached the table and felt around the chair sides and pulled it out for herself. She placed the drink on the table in front of her and plopped down into the seat, adjusting herself to where her tea was placed promptly in front of her for convenient drinking.

“I feel weird asking this, but how ya been holding up?” Toph said as she took a sip of her tea, she took a long sip of it, even though it had definitely burnt her tongue because she hadn’t waited long enough for it to cool.

“Good,” Zuko replied. It was a short reply, one that she definitely expected from him.

Silence hit again. She wasn’t very good at opening up to people on her own, let alone having other people do it with her. But she felt like she understood Zuko in a better way than some of the others, and she couldn’t depict why- she hadn’t ever asked about his past or even what his plans were for the future… or even what he looked like.

“I bet it’s hard,” Toph said, “getting thrown into running an entire Nation.”

“Yeah,” Zuko replied with a sigh. “But it’s what I expected. It’s what I was born to do.”

Another hit of silence. Toph blew on her tea to cool it off and heard Zuko do the same.

“How, though?” Toph asked bluntly. It was her only move she knew to continue the conversation. She was curious.

Zuko hadn’t spilled much of his life to anyone except for Aang, and while they were all incredibly close now, it had never seemed to come up about his past- just like it hadn’t ever come up about her’s or Suki’s. They were all too busy fighting and defeating Ozai that they had forgotten that they didn’t know much about each other.

Zuko sighed and she watched his outline run his hand through his hair (she presumed he had hair, unlike Aang, who she’d been notified to be bald).

“What do you mean how? Azula’s younger than me,” Zuko explained. Toph could tell he was bordering defensiveness. She pressed on anyways.

“You wouldn’t have wanted to fight your dad or your sister if there wasn’t a reason,” Toph said. “It just doesn’t add up like that.”

Zuko’s heart rate quickened. He wasn’t speaking. Toph knew this all too well- the attempt to create a lie that threw off the actual answer. He should really have known by now that that wasn’t going to work.

“Don’t lie. I can tell you’re trying to,” Toph bluntly pointed out. She took another sip of her tea and then placed it down in front of her again.

“I was banished. I had to find the Avatar to restore what I thought was my honor. I did that for three years before deciding it wasn’t right and my destiny was to join Aang,” Zuko explained in an overly-simplified, overly-glazed way. Toph rolled her eyes. “I already know that part. I’m talking about before that. I wanna know why you were banished.”

“Why? I thought you were going back to sleep.”

As much as he had worked on letting people in, this unexpected press of information of his past- from Toph of all people- was close to stepping over the line. He didn’t have time for this. He had things to do, orders to get through with, staff and guards and armies to command. He had his job to do once dawn broke.

Toph didn’t answer and took another long sip of her tea.

“I said something I shouldn’t have in a meeting.”

“And?”

“There is no ‘and’. I said something I shouldn’t have, it upset him, and he banished me.”

“Just like that?” Toph raised an eyebrow. This conversation was going nowhere fast, and she knew it. She could bail out now and go and sleep until the sun rose in a few hours before she started asking the big question.

“Mhm.”

She rolled the idea around in her head in the silence and opted against it. This question had nagged at her for a long time, and although it seemed to be like pulling eye teeth, it needed to be asked. She wasn’t sure if she could even go back to sleep anyways.

“What does Aang look like?” She asked. She started simple- one she knew that he could answer in a breeze. She felt his heart rate drop down to a more normal rate and his body relaxed.

“Hmm,” Zuko thought. He didn’t say anything for a minute, as if to gather the best explanation of his friend as possible. As much as it probably shouldn’t have been, it was a lot of pressure to describe one of their closest comrades to her. He hadn’t ever really thought about what Aang looked like- he just knew. He could just see him and know that, well… he was Aang.

“Well, ah… He’s short. Yeah, just a little bit taller than you, actually. He’s bald, obvious- well, maybe not obviously… sorry,” Zuko stuttered. “He has really big blue eyes. Like huge. There’s always like an adventure behind them, too. You can just tell that he’s always looking ahead- looking forward to something. He has his Airbender tattoos that are light blue and they’re, ah… they’re arrows. They start at his forehead and travel round his arms and wrists and stuff… it’s cool. He’s super thin, but I don’t know if you can see that- well, not see, but I didn’t know if that was important, er… maybe not.

He smiles really big, too. His whole face is centered around his smile. Katara told me that when he grew his hair out, it was brown, but I’ve never seen it… he wears lots of oranges and yellows, too. It’s pretty standard Air-Nomad colors.

I can’t really think of anything else… I think… I think that may be all.” Zuko breathed a sigh of relief as he tapered off what seemed to be his one long run-on sentence. He was known to do that when he was uncomfortable, or even under pressure. Hell, sometimes tired, too. These were all things he was feeling. He glanced up at a Toph who was looking up- not necessarily across the table to him. Just… up. A small smile was planted on her lips.

“I hope that helped some,” Zuko said and took another sip of his tea. He didn’t even realize how dry his mouth had gotten. It shouldn’t have been a difficult task describing Aang, but it was deemed to hold a lot more responsibility than just some random bystander looking for the Avatar. He knew he had to do it justice for Toph.

“Okay, now Katara,” Toph said as she flicked her gaze back down to reality. She took her teacup in her hands and cradled it to give her hands warmth. Zuko’s eyes widened for a second at the realization that she was going to go through the entire group. He cleared his throat and thought for a couple minutes, just like he had with Aang. “Well, she’s taller than you and Aang. But, she’s not really tall… just- average. She’s just average height. She has long, ah… dark brown hair? Sorry, I don’t know hair colors that well. Anyways, she also has big eyes, but not in the same way as Aang’s. You can kinda just… read her whole past in her eyes if you wanted to. You can see the pain and the fear that she’s… yeah. Uh, and they’re blue- like, deep, icy water blue. Her lips are naturally downturned- I think, but… you know how Katara is. She also has these two… what’d Sokka call them? These two… hair loopies that come down and… I dunno… frame her face? Her and Sokka have kinda ah… like a golden complexion? Not like gold- please, don’t think they’re gold- but it’s a deep tanned shade… I guess. I don’t know, it’s hard to say without sounding weird or… The colors that her and Sokka wear are the ones of the Water Tribe, so lots of blues and whites and stuff… they complement their eye colors and skin tone, too… Katara kinda has this disposition where she could hug you or fight you at the same time if that helps… I don’t know.”

He ran his fingers through the divots of the wood carved out in the table from wear-and-tear over time. They were smooth curves now, no rigid edges or stray wood to prick his fingers like they used to when he was a kid. It was his distraction, ultimately, from his stumble of a description of his friends, and mostly, Toph��s reaction.

There was no talk again for a minute, only the faint sound of fire igniting briefly for Zuko to heat up both of their teas. He wasn’t sure of the time anymore, but they had been sitting long enough for their drinks to no longer carry any warmth, which signified a significant length of time.

“Sokka?” Toph asked. He watched as her gaze, just as before, leveled back out with where her head was positioned.

“He… well, he looks like Katara, except… if Katara was a guy. They are siblings so it makes sense. He’s, ah… how do I say this- he’s not built. He’s super… think like a piece of wood. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing I think it kinda fits him, I guess. Oh, he’s taller than Katara and shorter than me… I wish I had a better visual to give you besides just the in-between height of Katara and I. His eyes are the same type of blue as Katara’s but instead of pain, they hold curiosity and… thrill, maybe? It doesn’t mean there isn’t any hurt in his eyes- in Aang’s either- but in Katara’s, it’s kind of hard to navigate around her hurt… yeah. Believe it or not, but Sokka’s hair is kinda long… I guess he used to shave the sides or something, but now it’s all grown out and stuff so he just pulls it back. He has this smug attitude that’s kinda just… all over his face? He always looks like he’s ready to do something or maybe even that he’s hiding something… But there’s also seriousness that hides in his face, too. He wears the same kind of blues and whites like Katara does, again, standard for the Water Tribe… ”

He waited hesitantly for her reply. It was a lot harder than he thought to describe these people who he’d become so close with. He just hoped he hadn’t messed up any of her visions of them. He wasn’t sure what her plan was for all of these descriptions, or why she'd even asked him.

He knew the others could do it better- make it more poetic and imaginary. But he wasn’t that person. He was the Fire Lord- and even before he was the Fire Lord, he was a silenced Prince. Creativity didn’t flow through him like it did the others. He wished it did, sometimes. Maybe then he’d be able to give Toph illusive descriptions of the people that mattered most to her.

“I hope those were okay,” He said, and rubbed his eyes with the bottom of his palms and pressed in hard so he could see dots. He was getting tired, but he couldn’t sleep even if he was. He hadn’t been able to. He had gotten comfortable with tiredness. He knew it wouldn’t last forever, but adjusting to the new role was harder than he thought.

“They were,” Toph reassured him quietly. It was sincere- he had no doubt. Toph, who was usually loud and stubborn and a tough fighter, was more reserved at night than Zuko would have thought. Maybe it was because she was tired, or because she had seen her friends in full bloom for the first time. Whichever it was, he couldn’t tell.

They sat there in silence again, moments of tea being sipped were exchanged, but mostly just quiet. It was solemn, and peaceful. Nothing was in a rush to be said, no battles to fight or rebuild plans to do- it was nice.

“Zuko,” Toph sighed. “What do you look like?”

Zuko’s breath hitched in his throat as his heart rate sped up again. He didn’t know where to begin or what to say, and surely he was stupid for believing that she wasn’t going to just let him slide. He couldn't just ignore the brutality that slashed half his face. He couldn’t sit with the guilt that she didn’t know it was there because he didn’t tell her.

His eyes widened slowly as he came to a sudden realization of what Toph was doing. It was comical, truthfully. He almost laughed. This was her way of getting the story. He wasn’t sure how she knew that his banishment had something to do with his cosmetic looks, but he gave her props for it nonetheless.

He took a deep breath and locked his gaze on the wood table as an anchor.

“I’m tall. Tallest, actually. I have really pale skin, but that’s just a Fire Nation thing… I don’t consider myself to be… built? I’m not exactly like Sokka but I'm not crazy buff either if that helps. My eyes aren’t as big or… full of adventure as the others have. I don’t know what all you can see, but I know they don’t have that. They’re brown, but almost everyone in the Fire Nation has brown eyes. It’s nothing special. I have shaggy hair- well, it’s black, and I have to pull it back for Fire Lord stuff, so I guess shaggy is the best way to describe it. I like it, I guess. I don’t feel confined with it. I wear a lot of reds and golds and blacks, which are Fire Nation colors. Right now I’m just wearing a… red shirt and black pants? Black slippers? I don’t know if that part helps or not… I also always look dissatisfied. At least, that’s what Sokka tells me. I don’t really know what he means by that…”

Zuko paused for a minute. Toph was staring across to him now as if she could recognize where he was. Her eyebrows were stitched together as if attempting to put his puzzle pieces together.

“And then there’s my… my scar.”

Deep breath.

“It covers my entire left eye… It doesn’t even open fully anymore. It bleeds out around to my ear and stops just before my jawline. It doesn’t hurt anymore, in case you’re wondering. It’s healed. It’s been since I was banished, so… three years. But, it’s there.

There was more to that story, by the way. My banishment. I didn’t just say something and was kicked out. I didn’t back down from an Agni Kai to… well, to prove to m- … Ozai, that I was stronger than he thought I was. That I deserved to be in the meeting. I didn’t think it’d be my own father I’d fight. I pleaded for some kind of relief and reprieve. All I got was a burn so deep that my skin almost melted off…”

There was silence.

No tea sips, no shifting in chairs. There wasn’t even really the sound of breathing anymore. It was still air.

This story had the ability to do that.

“Can I feel it?”

Zuko didn’t question it, or back away. He nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see it.

He pushed himself out of the chair and walked around the table. He slowly crouched down until he was level with Toph, his hand steadying himself on the corner of the table, his fingers circling the divots so smoothly carved once more.

He took Toph’s hand, almost twice the size more compact of his own, and gingerly placed it on his cheekbone. He swallowed and shut his eyes, allowing her small, calloused hand to run slowly over it.

Toph wasn’t a gentle person by nature. But the minute that her hand touched his scar she felt his pain a thousand times over- intense and deep and wretched. She moved her hand slowly across his face, the ridges telling each their own thread of agony and grievance. Her hand roamed, unsure of where or if it ever was going to stop. If the story of his pain was ever going to cease. She blinked back tears as she finally reached his jawline. Untouched and human. Boyish and youthful. Peace.

She took her hand off of his face and cleared her throat, unsure of what else to do. She had gotten herself to this point- to this level. Now what?

She felt his presence leave due to the shift in cold air that shuffled in and heard him sit back down across from her, respectively.

Again, there was silence.

Not the same kind of silence where it was stilted, or even tense. It was an understood silence. An ‘I know your pain’ silence. It was gentle and welcomed and fluid.

So, they sat there for a minute. Neither unsure of how else to go on or continue their conversation. They sipped their tea in offbeat patterns. Long, slow, drawls of tea.

As the sun began to rise, Zuko realized that his job was beginning. He wasn’t a banished prince anymore, or a kid with an uncontrollable rage and fear of his father. Although that kid still existed in him, it wasn’t center stage. Fire Lord Zuko was. And as the dawn rose, so did he.

He gathered the two pieces of china from the table, both now completely empty of their tea. He put them on the counter for a maid to clean later.

Zuko glanced back at Toph- still sitting at the table, only this time, she was looking at the sunrise from the fully-bloomed windows in front of her. He knew she wasn’t looking at the sunrise, but he hoped that maybe she was picturing her friends in the same ways he had said- hopefully, even better. There was a small smile on her face, too. One of understanding.

He knew then that although she wanted to know his past, there was a part of her that wanted to be able to see her friends, too. He’d never know why she had asked him rather than asking a more creative mind, or even a closer friend, but he knew he would always be appreciative of being the one who did it for her.

Zuko’s lips upturned slightly and he turned to leave, carefully in an attempt to not disturb Toph’s somewhat mediation.

“Hey, Zuko?” He looked back over his shoulder to the girl, her face and gaze unmoving from the now more evident daybreak.

“Thank you.”

[theunemployedrogue]

idk just feeling kinda sad and lonely... pretty long rambling personal post beneath the read more...

It's a combination of things getting to me... firstly, there's the fact I feel like this site is finally starting to *really* die. I've noticed a drastic drop in activity on my dash in the past month or so to the point it feels like there's never more than 50 or so new posts at a time, & there's hardly any new notes on the activity page at a given time either.

Tumblr may be a hellsite but it's literally my only "social media" (aside from like....LinkedIn) at the moment. There's a handful of folks on here I really enjoy interacting with, even if it's just the occasional message or comment. I feel like I'm about to lose some of my only ties to the world outside my immediate circle if people jump ship completely :/

idk where people are even migrating to. Twitter? Insta? Tiktok? None of those sites really appeal to me at all... Part of me wonders if people (especially ppl my age) are kinda just disconnecting from internet fandom communities altogether and focusing more on IRL stuff. Honestly I'd probably benefit from logging tf off myself lol...

But 'just logging off and getting a damn life' is an especially daunting prospect right now bc my IRL situation isn't exactly ideal at the moment. For one thing, we're still in the middle of a pandemic. Secondly, I've been unemployed for about 3 months now. That has it's obvious downsides, although I will say it's not all bad. I had enough savings set aside that I decided to take a breather instead of immediately looking for another job, & my roommate and grandma have been very supportive of me and helped with some of my expenses during this time.

So like, I don't regret my decision to take time off. I mean yeah I'm a little anxious, and I know most of my family thinks I'm a lazy piece of shit, but overall the downtime has been a positive thing. I've finally been able to quit drinking and improve my eating habits, which has allowed me to better manage some of my chronic health concerns. I've also started picking up some online gigs so I don't totally deplete my savings, & to help me get back in the groove of working.

Unemployment is isolating af tho. I was already incredibly isolated when I was WFH at my last company, but losing that job meant I also lost a decent chunk of contacts (even if they were just work acquaintances). I'm lucky I have a roommate and that my grandma lives nearby, otherwise I'd have no access to IRL human interaction on a regular basis.

But I still feel lowkey devastated that I've fallen out of touch with the few other friends I have. I know they're busy with work and their own lives, and until recently I was too overwhelmed with depression to really engage anyone, but now that I'm starting to feel better it's hit me just how much I miss them.

Unfortunately it just feels harder than ever to reach out and connect with anybody nowadays, even those I consider close. It's so easy to lose track of the days slipping by and accidently wind up neglecting people. Whenever I do reach out I never have much to say, so I end up feeling like I'm just wasting people's time :(

Idk what to do to make things better. Part of me feels like I've let some relationships (mainly with my family) get damaged beyond repair at this point. It seems selfish and pointless to try and mend things with certain people whom I've likely offended or hurt by withdrawing from them for so long. Then I feel like there are other folks who have simply outgrown me, and the best thing I could do for them is to quietly step aside and let them move on.

It's just always been so hard for me to make and keep friends. I know it's pretty much entirely my own fault, but it still hurts having to reap what I sowed. I suppose it'd be nice to try and meet some new folks who share my current interests, but I'm always too scared and awkward to put myself out there like I should. I honestly don't know how much I can change about myself at this point in my life, or if I'll ever be able to conquer my shyness.

I feel immature and whiny even making this post, but I just needed to get this stuff off my chest. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this far. Take care.

[rambling-at-midnight]

Slytherin Sherlock x Slytherin Reader

-For the longest time Sherlock’s been hearing this voice in his head

-About as long as he’s been going to Hogwarts

-He supposes it’s just another one of his thoughts or maybe the Mind-Palace-Mycroft

-You’re both just as annoying

-Eventually he investigates

-It’s in the Slytherin common room that he sees you

-A first year like him, doing homework and laughing at something someone who’s not important enough to be in here said

-And he just stares at you

-Because he’s not said a word to you

-And you’re in his palace?????

-He doesn’t even know your name

-Or at least he doesn’t think he does

-But he approaches you, scowling, and demands to know what you’re doing in here

-You turn around, still smiling, and just say

-’Well, how am I supposed to know, dummy? You put me here’

-He leaves his Mind Palace and looks up and you’re exactly where you are in his Mind Palace

-Just laughing at something another boy said

-He doesn’t know why you’re in his Mind Palace so he strives to find out

-He doesn’t talk to you the entire first, second, and third years

-Just kinda lurks behind you

-He’s positive you haven’t noticed

-He just doesn’t know why you’re in his Mind Palace considering you two have never even spoken

-He doesn’t know why he even bothers

-All you do is hang out with that Gryffindor John Watson and the Hufflepuff Molly Hooper

-You’re nothing like him or Mycroft

-You get decent grades sure and you always show up to class on time sure but your hair is always ruffled and pulled into a quick bun with quills sticking out of it like you’re some bloody porcupine

-Whenever he’s in his mind palace you just show up and tag along behind him

-And just say sarcastic things that make him snort

-And you should be annoying but he doesn’t mind you being there all that much

-He just kind of accepts it

-Like maybe you’re just there because you’re interesting

-And anyways, Yule Ball fourth year

-Sherlock’s just sitting and brooding in his chair and staring at you because you’re the only person in this whole bloody school he can’t figure out

-You’re working on homework as always

-And for some unknown reason both the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor are working with you

-In the Slytherin common room

-Then Sherlock realizes both the guests are looking over at him and whispering

-He just folds his hands underneath his chin in the praying position and squints

-Mycroft comes over and sits next to him

-After a second asks Sherlock why he’s constantly staring at you

-’What????? I’m not Mycroft you’re dumb why would you say that’

-’Literally everyone in the House has noticed Sherlock’

-’Take her to the Yule Ball before Moriarty tries to’

-At that Sherlock stiffens

-He fucking hates Moriarty because he was one of the two people he couldn’t figure out

-He should probably hate you too

-He doesn’t

-Anyways

-He refuses to admit to Mycroft that he’s right

-So he ignores the sick feeling in his gut as Moriarty twirls you around the dance floor

-And ignores Irene until she leaves to go fuck multiple guys in a closet

-Honestly he doesn’t even like her he just couldn’t show up to the dance without a date

-Mycroft insisted

-Somehow he starts talking with John Watson who’s with a nobody named Sarah Something who’s got no personality and is in Hufflepuff

-John isn’t actually so bad

-Sherlock likes John

-And so the first time John ‘introduces’ you and Sherlock

-(so you guys are in the same House but you never talk about each other and I think you two would like each other)

-Sherlock just stares at you with wide eyes and when he speaks it’s just ‘asdfghkl;’ because you’ve got a quill pointing right out the back of your head and it’s making his tongue fuzzy

-And you just give him a funny look

-And later he curses himself

-If you didn’t think before (why else would John and Molly have been looking over if you hadn’t told them he constantly stares at you; that or they noticed and there’s no way they didn’t tell you) he liked you you definitely do now

-So passes fifth year

-You’re frequently seen with around five quills in your hair, one for each subject or so

-Sherlock sneers but worries about the bags under your eyes

-Obviously he gets all O’s but then he secretly wonders what you got

-One day you just sit down with him at the lake

-He opens one eye to peer at you disdainfully but doesn’t tell you to leave

-And you’re like ‘You’re Sherlock Holmes, incredibly intelligent, you’ve got a deduction thingy that John calls Asperger’s and being an arsehole. You got all O’s on your exams and so did I. You’re really weird around new people bc you couldn’t even talk to me so you’re probably shy’

-And you just keep rambling

-Sherlock secretly likes it even though you got half the stuff wrong

-and then you’re like ‘although you’ve literally been staring at me the entirety of our school career so I’d appreciate it if you stopped’

-’what if i don’t want to leave you alone’

-’if i want you to leave me alone you’ll damn well leave me alone’

Sherlock’s disappointed

-So, like, that means you don’t like him

-And he totally definitely doesn’t like you but he’s still disappointed

-’What makes you think I want to do anything with you’

-You snort

-’Please, I’ve seen that look before’

-’And I’ve heard the stories about you’

-’You use girls all the time and then you’re cruel to them’

-’I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak’

-Sherlock just looks over at you dead in the eyes and says ‘well I haven’t been watching them for six years straight’

-You laugh nervously

-’What are you, a stalker’

-Sherlock shrugs and starts to get up

-You scramble to your feet as well

-Sherlock doesn’t notice you getting closer until you’re right in front of him and your hand is on his chest and your lips are on his

-You pull back, flushing

-’I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak but I guess I’ve got no choice, sorry, I won’t bother you again’

-Sherlock grabs your wrist as you walk away

-Spins you back towards him like you’re dancing

-Cocks an eyebrow at you suggestively

-’What if I want you to bother me again’

-It’s after that Sherlock realizes how much of a Slytherin you really are

-You show up in his Mind Palace and instead of being snarky you’re a snarky bitch and he just loves it

-Like Mind Palace you and Mycroft get into so many arguments

-And even though Sherlock knows its all in his head he can’t help but be proud of you

-I mean

-He bases his Mind Palace off of what he sees

-You dissing Mycroft is perfectly normal

-Like

-You’ll kiss him in the middle of the hallways and right when he’s dropping his bookbag you’re stepping away so he’s flushed and scrambling to pick up his books

-and you just walk away like ‘see you babe’

-and he just stares after you like half pissed half turned on half proud

-Other times you’ll work on homework with him

-But you absolutely refuse to work with him if you’re not sitting on his lap

-And Sherlock just turns bright red

-And you’ll lean over to kiss him

-Wiggling your butt as you do so

-And Mycroft’s just sitting there with his jaw down like ‘damn sherl i wanted you to talk to her not for her to sit on your lap in the common room’

-And you’ll just cuddle with him during lessons

-because ‘goddammit you didn’t make a move for six fucking years imma cuddle when i damn well want to’

-And cuddling isn’t supposed to be this hOT

-Like

-You’ll put your head on his shoulder

-And like burrow into his side

-And occasionally press kisses to his shoulder

-Like damn

-Could you be any sweeter

-And then one day another Slytherin Janine starts spreading rumors about Sherlock and about how he slept with her bc shes jealous

-So you walk up and just punch her in the face

-And say ‘you wish he’d slept with you too bad no one would ever stoop that low’

-She doesn’t mess with you guys from then on

-But you turn around, shaking out your hand

-And Sherlock’s just sitting there and he looks like a tomato

-Like a tomato-colored stature

-Like why does he get turned on by you being violent and manipulative?

-And you just laugh and shake your head

-And take him by the hand

-’Come on I know a place’

-’What y/n where are we going what are we doing what are you talking about’

-Sherlock’s babbling because he does not have feelings

-He most certainly does not have sexual feelings

-And he most certainly certainly does not get hard when you break bitches’ noses

-So on the last day before summer break you two make some noise in the Room of Requirement

-*wink wink*

-Seventh year is fun

-You stress about everything

-And Sherlock’s so annoyed by it

-But he doesn’t bitch about it to you because he loves you

-And one day you’re ranting about how you’re going to fail your N.E.W.Ts and he just casually says ‘I love you’

-And you just blink

-....

-....

-....

-And then you like jump him

-So when Sherlock feels that you’re stressing too much

-he’ll just randomly say ily

-And then

-Fun times

-Although he’s still slightly hurt that you haven’t said it back

-So one day when he’s drinking some stolen firewhisky he mentions it to you

-You burst out laughing

-’I’ve said it so many times’

-’What??? No you haven’t??’

-’Yes I have it’s just you don’t pay attention to me when you’re anxious and that’s when i say it like how you say it when im anxious’

-.....

-....

-....

-That night you two go for like five times

-And then after graduation

-Sherlock invents his own job as ‘Consulting Auror’

-Because that whole Sirius Black thing was just embarrassing

-And he’s great at it

-And you’re like so proud of him

-And yeah he proposes to you at a crime scene one time

-And it’s hilarious because it was almost your crime scene too

-Like a mass murderer kidnapped a bunch of people and took them out one by one

-So like

-You’re covered in blood

-And Sherlock’s still shaking with anxiety

-And you just roll your eyes and shove it on your finger and say ‘why the fuck did you even have to ask you stupid fucking bastard’

-which translates to

-’of course I will I love you’

-and then you start crying

-And Sherlock’s like ‘nO sTOP why are you crying what did i DO did i do something wrong’

-And you live happily ever after the end