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thankskenpenders · 5 months ago

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Thoughts on two specific areas of the writing in Sonic X Shadow Generations

The best new 3D Sonic game in over a decade (or even two, depending on who you ask) dropped late last year. And I didn't write anything about it! Sometimes life happens. Well, I've finally sat down to finish Shadow Generations, and by now everyone has already been singing its praises for three months. This is the rare instance where the entire Sonic fandom, and even mainstream reviewers, are in agreement on something. The level design is the best it's been in a long, long time and the cool factor is off the charts, embracing Sonic's peak cringe era in an incredibly confident way. It's great. If you're even reading this post, you probably don't need me to tell you that. So I won't!

No, what I'm really interested in here is the writing. Because this is me we're talking about. But I actually don't want to talk about the main narrative of Shadow Generations, which is really solid little story about Black Doom trying to mold Shadow into his perfect soldier. No, I'd like to zero in on two other aspects of the writing here: the revisions made to Sonic Generations, and Gerald Robotnik's unlockable journal.

The updated Sonic Generations script

The new package mostly presents Sonic Generations how you remember it. There are some tweaks, but it's not a major overhaul. Graphically, I don't think the game has been touched much, if at all. I certainly can't notice any difference without a side-by-side comparison, despite playing it on a PS5. The most notable update is that the game's script has been rewritten by Ian Flynn.

Naturally, this caught my attention. Generations always had a nothingburger story, so with Ian rewriting Pontac and Graff's lame dialogue there was nowhere to go but up. (I don't like to pin the blame for those games' stories entirely on them, as a ton of it was dictated to them by Sonic Team, but, well, I don't think they're very good dialogue writers.) But it's less a complete rewrite and more like Ian was brought on as a script doctor for some minor touch ups here and there. Many lines of dialogue are completely identical to how they were originally written in 2011, and many others only have slight wording changes. Ian was clearly not allowed to request additional scenes or extend the ones that already existed. He has to match the original beat for beat so that they can reuse 99% of the cutscene animations. Don't expect it to be a whole new experience compared to the original.

Still, I think the new script is an improvement, albeit a minor one. Various things have been tweaked to maintain characterization consistency. Cream calls Sonic "Mr. Sonic" instead of just "Sonic." Instead of calling Sonic "buddy," Rouge uses the pet name "Blue," like she tends to do in things like the IDW comics. Espio doesn't have to remind you in the dialogue that he's a ninja, and he no longer has a line making it sound like he has some kind of soul reading power. I also like that Modern Sonic now actually has responses to what his friends say when he rescues them, rather than being silent like Classic Sonic. They won't blow you away, but they make Sonic feel a little more engaged with everything.

In general, the altered dialogue just seems tighter to me, and some of the more childish or trite wording of Pontac and Graff's script has been altered. Here, let's actually make a direct comparison, just because this stuff is interesting to me as a writer. Here's a couple lines from after the Egg Dragoon fight late in the game, in the original script:

Modern Eggman: Ooooh... I can't believe this! I was supposed to beat you this time. Modern Sonic: Aw, I'm sorry! I didn't get that memo. I beat you every time! [Turns to Classic Sonic] No, seriously, we beat this guy every time. It's like it's our job or something!

This is a simple exchange. Eggman is mad that he lost. Sonic is unflappably confident because he always beats Eggman, and he explains this to his younger self. But the wording here isn't particularly good. Eggman's simple and direct wording makes him come off like a little kid who's mad because his older brother beat him at Mario Kart, rather than a mad scientist who just had his plans foiled. It's making light of the situation.

And I've never liked Sonic saying "It's like it's our job or something!" That doesn't feel like a thing Sonic would say, it feels like a thing an outside observer would say about Sonic. This is a frequent problem with so-called "MCU dialogue," where quips meant to echo the commentary of a casual, somewhat disinterested audience are inserted into the story itself so that the writers can be like "See? We get it. We're genre-savvy, too!" It also just reminds me of bad Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric lines like "Rings! It's like they're made for me!"

And then here's Ian's rewrite:

Modern Eggman: I recalibrated everything! This was supposed to be my time! Modern Sonic: Oh, please, keep dreamin', Egg-head. I beat you every time. [Turns to Classic Sonic] No, seriously, we beat him every time. Our score card's flawless.

Eggman's still mad about his defeat, but the line "I recalibrated everything!" makes it more specific. He put all this work into the engineering side of his latest scheme and got tunnel vision, thinking if he got his creations just right there'd be no way he could lose. "This was supposed to be my time!" also turns it into a time travel pun, which is a bonus. He's still pitching a fit over losing, but it feels more like Eggman pitching a fit, rather than sounding childish.

And then instead of saying that beating Eggman is "like his job or something," Sonic says he's got a flawless score card against Eggman. He doesn't take Eggman seriously as a threat—at least, not to his face. He acts like it's all a game. But he conveys this in a way that feels truer to the character, rather than feeling like the words of a real world observer poking fun at the tropes of the Sonic series.

Is this amazing, A+ dialogue that blows me away? No. Again, it's not a completely different scene from the one we already had. Ian had to fit the beats of what was already there. He couldn't go all out and write an all new story confirming his longstanding headcanon that the Time Eater is a remnant of Solaris or whatever. But the wording here makes the existing story land a little better and feel truer to the characters in subtle ways.

But to me, the main change is that the Sonics and Tailses seem to have a more solid understanding of what's going on with the timeline and the Time Eater, compared to how idiotic they sometimes seemed in the original game. Which is good! No more standing outside Green Hill and wondering why it seems so familiar. Thank god. As part of this, yes, there are a few more references to past games in the dialogue, like Sonic briefly being confused about the fact that they're time traveling without the Time Stones, or South Island and Westside Island being acknowledged as the normal locations of Green Hill and Chemical Plant. Yes, ha ha, insert joke about how Ian loves references here. Look, it's Sonic fucking Generations. It's a game built entirely out of nostalgic references. Just own it! And, again, in this instance Sonic and Tails come off as less stupid when they make it clear that they do, in fact, remember their adventures from presumably less than a year ago in-universe.

Eggman, too, seems to have a better understanding of the powers he's toying with. Where in the original vesion his focus was simply on going back in time to undo his previous defeats and he seemed kind of oblivious to how much the Time Eater was actually fucking up the universe, here Eggman says he wants to use the Time Eater to give himself complete control over the entire timeline. Eggman also makes way fewer references to his own failures and shortcomings. Of course he won't admit that Sonic has defeated him time and time again. To him, he's never truly lost—Sonic just keeps delaying the inevitable total victory for the Eggman Empire.

So, yes. The new Sonic Generations script is better. It won't blow anyone away, but it's better than it was. It's been elevated from "kinda lame" to "fine." No, if you really wanna see Ian flex his ability to breathe new life into old Sonic stories, look no further than...

Gerald Robotnik's Journal

Hoo boy.

The story of what happened aboard the ARK has always been... a bit confusing, to say the least. Fans with encyclopedic knowledge of the script for every route of Shadow '05 may disagree, but it's the truth. We've had all the pieces to understand the story for a long time now, but that info was given to us out of order by a pair of unreliable narrators—Gerald, who became a vengeful lunatic shortly before his death, and Shadow, who was subjected to multiple rounds of amnesia and altered memories. Some of the ambiguity left by Sonic Adventure 2 was cleared up in Shadow '05, but that game also retconned in a bunch of new elements to Shadow's backstory (aliens!) that lead to further confusion. Not to mention the fact that that game had multiple routes and only revealed the truth about Shadow if you sat on the ultimate final boss battle for WAY longer than the fight would normally last. Or the fact that Sonic X made its own tweaks in its telling of the story. Or the fact that none of these things ever had the best English translations. I can't blame anyone who hasn't played those games in two decades for not remembering the truth about these characters and getting some details mixed up.

What we needed was something to piece together all of the info we have into one coherent backstory, told in chronological order. And thanks to Shadow Generations, we have that, in the form of an official journal tying together what we knew from Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow '05, and Sonic Battle into the tragic tale of Gerald's rise and fall.

Ian Flynn was the perfect man for the job here as the guy who started his career by tidying up the mess that was the first 159 issues if Archie Sonic. This is what he excels at: taking disparate bits of weird Sonic lore from multiple different sources, boiling them down to their most interesting elements, and connecting it together in a way that will make the audience see the dramatic potential he's always known was there. Rather than feeling like a cynical exercise in franchise building, going back and explaining things that never needed explaining so that people can add more bullet points to the wiki, he puts a new spin on things that retroactively enriches those past stories. The story here means something to the characters involved and gives us a better understanding of them as people, rather than as plot devices to motivate Shadow.

(And, of course, Ian didn't do this journal alone. He wrote the story, but I also have to give a huge shout out to Evan Stanley, who made the final product. All of her handwritten journal entries, sketches, and "photos" included throughout. The physical damage done to the journal over the course of 50 tumultuous years, passing from Gerald to Eggman to a certain special someone at GUN. The way Gerald's handwriting gets less and less legible as his mental state declines. So much love was put into what could have been a mere text dump in a menu, and it really elevates it to the next level. Congrats on officially getting hired by Sega, Evan, you've sure as hell earned it!)

The main idea the journal conveys is that Gerald was under a lot of pressure from a lot of different parties—GUN, the President, his colleagues aboard the ARK, Black Doom, even his own family—and boy did it get to him. The known incidents aboard the ARK mentioned in previous games are put together here to form a story where everything slowly spirals out of control as Gerald keeps compromising his morals to further his research, thinking he'll eventually find some way out of all this because he's a genius. I won't recap that whole story here (if you haven't already played the game and read the journal entries, I would highly recommend at least reading it on the Sonic wiki), but I'd like to highlight my favorite elements of the story, as Ian tells it here.

1) The Eclipse Cannon

Here's something that never quite made sense in Sonic Adventure 2: why does the ARK have a laser that can blow up the Earth built into it? It was supposed to be a peaceful research colony. Sure, Gerald went crazy and swore revenge on the Earth, but, like... when did he have an opportunity to go back up to the ARK and modify it? Did he have someone else do it? How? The ARK was raided by GUN and shut down! And then they arrested him, held him in prison for an unclear period of time, and executed him by firing squad when he was no longer useful! It doesn't add up. Shadow 'the Hedgehog '05 would give its own answer by introducing the Black Arms and saying that the Eclipse Cannon was always supposed to be a secret trump card against the Black Comet. But, like... we know that's kind of a bullshit answer, right? You don't need enough power to blow up a whole planet just to destroy a comet.

Well, the new journal retains what we already knew, but it paints a much more complete picture.

See, long before Gerald ever made a Faustian bargain with Black Doom, he had already made one with an even greater evil: the military. GUN gave Gerald much of the funding for the ARK, Gerald's personal utopian research station in space, but it didn't take long for GUN to start pressuring him to design them weapons. Gerald tried to get GUN off his back by personally contacting the President of the United Federation, and the President gave him an alternative: how about, instead, you just use your genius brain to figure out the secret to immortality for us, so our soldiers can be immortal? Gerald was initially sickened by the notion and found it completely absurd, like chasing a shadow... but given no other option, the sarcastically named Project Shadow soon began in earnest. (Maria would later put a more positive spin on the name after Shadow's awakening, pointing out that a Shadow can show us the direction of the light, like she says in the game itself.)

Of course, this search for the ultimate life form didn't go very well, and without any results on that front GUN kept hounding him for weapons. Gerald would throw them a bone here and there to get them off his back. His research on Chaos resulted in the Artifical Chaos prototypes, which he worried would be used for warfare but could at least theoretically be used for search and rescue missions in floods, in his mind. But that wasn't enough. So he gave them Chaos Drives to power their mechs. And that still wasn't enough. He's got Emerl. He'll give them Emerl. They're not impressed by Emerl. They'll shut the whole ARK down if Gerald doesn't give them something big.

Fine! GUN wants something big? Gerald builds a huge fucking laser cannon into the ARK. However, as a middle finger to GUN, Gerald makes it so powerful that it would destroy the Earth if it was ever fired at any target on its surface. In other words, GUN now has their ultimate weapon of mass destruction, fulfilling his contract, but they can never actually use it. Oh, the delicious irony. (And also Shadow will blow up the Black Comet with it in 50 years yada yada yada.) Is this perhaps extremely shortsighted and naive of Gerald, to believe that such a weapon would never actually be used just because of the risk? Of course. But hey, that's Gerald for you. And I love this as an answer.

(Also, this, uh, kinda echoes something from real life! Remember the bit in Oppenheimer where he says all nuclear war will become unthinkable, and Edward Teller responds "until somebody builds a bigger bomb"? Yeah, Teller went on to conceptualize a superweapon codenamed Project Sundial that would have been able to kill all life on the planet, as the ultimate deterrent for war. This was never made for obvious reasons, but hey, there's a basis for this sort of thinking outside of heightened sci-fi! There's a whole Kurzgesagt video about this if you're interested.)

2) The Biolizard

The Biolizard is, of course, brought up as the initial failed prototype of the ultimate life form, from before Gerald met Black Doom. We don't really learn all that much about it that we didn't already know, but I just love the way it's framed in the story.

As you can see above, we actually get to see a picture of Maria holding up the cute little salamander that would end up mutating into the Biolizard through Gerald's experiments. (Researchers want to figure out how to replicate salamanders' regenerative abilities for humans in real life, too, so this was a natural starting point for the project.) And then, after it grows to a monstrous size and goes out of control, Gerald has to lock it away in an unused sector of the ARK. He needs to keep the poor thing alive for his research into harnessing Chaos Energy, building life support systems directly into it, but he doesn't have the heart to tell Maria what happened. So it just becomes this first dark secret weighing on his conscience. The Biolizard becomes Gerald's Tell-Tale Heart beating beneath the floorboards of the ARK. I love that.

3) Lost Impact was the breaking point for the ARK

Remember the level Lost Impact in Shadow '05? The flashback level on the hero path where Shadow is running around fighting Artificial Chaos enemies on the ARK 50 years ago? Yeah, that wasn't just a random incident. That was important, as we now know due to its placement on the timeline.

See, Emerl's rampage aboard the ARK that was chronicled in Sonic Battle and Dark Beginnings set off a domino effect. Emerl riled up the Artificial Chaos, causing Gerald to lose control of them. They became violent, and so Shadow had to stop them, as depicted in Lost Impact. The thing is, that incident sent an SOS signal to GUN telling them that shit was going down on the ARK. Gerald didsn't fully understand the trouble he was in and assumed that he'd simply be reprimanded by the higher ups, or maybe face legal action. But, well... the next time he heard from GUN, armed troopers were raiding the ARK.

So Lost Impact was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just really like that detail.

4) Maria

And, of course, there's Maria herself. Maria has often been more of a symbol than a character, this perfect embodiment of everything that's good and pure in this world who gets killed to motivate Shadow and Gerald's revenge plots. But I really like the wrinkles this journal adds to her and Gerald's story, and their relationship. This is the most fleshed out they've ever felt.

For one, the journal leans into the idea of Maria's intellectual potential. The rest of the Robotnik family is all geniuses, after all, and she was proving to be a really bright kid. She excelled in her studies on the ARK, and she even helped design Shadow's jet skates and inhibitor rings. When Maria died, the world didn't just lose a symbolic personification of purity. She genuinely could have been a hugely influential scientist who did so much good for the world. That's what Gerald wanted for her. But we'll never know, because GUN killed her.

Speaking of her family, their presence isn't just mentioned for the sake of fleshing out the Robotnik family tree. It's mentioned that as Gerald struggled to find a cure for Maria's illness through his genetic research, he faced mounting pressure from his family. They didn't want Maria to be up on the ARK forever. They wanted Gerald to hurry up and find a damn cure, or otherwise just send her back home to Earth so she could be with her family again. She'd been up on the ARK for so long that Gerald's coworkers started thinking that she had been born up there. Eventually she gains a baby sister on Earth who she's never met. A rift forms between Gerald's two sons, and he's unable to really deal with it because he's so consumed by his work. There's this sense that the family is falling apart, and that everyone is dreading the possibility that Gerald will never find a cure and that Maria will just spend her final years up in space and die far away from her family, because Gerald just couldn't let go. If that happens, it'll break the whole family. But he can't stop now. So he just keeps working. Curing Maria is the only way to win his family back, in his eyes. It can't all be for nothing.

But my favorite detail regarding Maria is this one paragraph:

Maria is growing into a lovely young woman. It breaks my heart that someone as bright and energetic as her is diminished by disease. There are no visible effects, and I've caught my fellow researchers muttering to each other, doubting her illness. It is infuriating. I find all my reason and restraint vanishes when she's slighted.

This is SUCH a great addition to the story! It's always been true that Maria doesn't really seem all that ill, just looking at her in cutscenes. With this one little comment, Ian flips that issue on its head and turns it into a story about invisible disability. She doesn't act like she's in chronic pain, so she must not be, everyone thinks. And this really, really gets to Gerald, as does the pressure from his family. He's dedicating his whole LIFE to saving her, and they think she's faking it?! It's such a small addition, never referenced elsewhere in the journal, but it adds so much flavor to the story, as does the implied family drama. It grounds Gerald and Maria and makes them feel more like real human beings, rather than being pure archetypes. It's just enough info to let my imagination run wild filling in the blanks.

You also get the feeling that Maria being such a walking ray of sunshine was the only real source of joy Gerald had left in his life before Shadow was awakened, and the only thing keeping him from snapping under pressure sooner. All this stuff just keeps piling on, everything's spiraling out of control, but at least Maria is keeping her chin up, right? It makes so much sense that losing her would make him go off the deep end when it's framed like this.

It's just... man, I never thought I'd care so much about Gerald and Maria. But that's the Ian Flynn touch. After years of less than stellar Sonic writing that seemed to be embarrassed of itself, I'm so happy to have new games coming out that fully embrace the history of the series like this, making its world feel so rich and real instead of just serving as an excuse for a string of platforming levels. I don't even like Shadow '05, but I'll be damned if Ian and the rest of Sonic Team didn't make something amazing by "yes, and"-ing Shadow's cringe past here. Sonic has truly reached levels of "we're so back" never thought possible.

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werezmastarbucks · 1 month ago

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best of luck! ~bangtan

silly!tormented!yoongi x clueless!f!MUA!reader

summary: years spent under your gentle, caring hand, make Yoongi realize he is in love with you. the problem is: how does he go about it? what if a confession, or a move, topples the fragile, curated, professional peace? his first mistake is going to his members for advice.

author's note: Yoongi is a bit stupid but you are outright dense lmao. i once wrote this story per a request and now the idea of Yoongi trying out the six different methods of hitting up on a girl visited me again and i found it funny. also: why do i mention excel in all my fics? is it a disorder?

warnings / tags: clueless reader, skinny love, mega sweet/flirty Yoongi, it's supposed to be comedy hopefully, swearing, lil bit of fuckboying, dramatic present, angst if you really search for it, fluff fluff FLUFF, shmexual tension, suggestive dialogues, bangtan boys demonstrate flirting techniques on each other?? Yoongi's pov mostly. my favourite genre of bangtan: slightly silly, good, overenergetic guys. Tom Cruise references throughout? bc i was a Tom Cruise fan even before BTS was even a thing

word count: 11500

Yoongi knows no other make up artist wears perfume on their wrist. The crew generally tries not to wear any strong scents when working because the dressing rooms are smallish, and the amount of people, each one with the distinctive smell, makes it bad enough as it is. Jimin smells like cotton candy all the time, and, as if it's not irritating on its own, he pours the fragrance on himself every morning or maybe even takes a shower of it. So one can imagine the sensory overload of it all; cramped in a small chair, swung and pulled in all directions, bright light hitting the eyes, someone's fingers pulling his eyelids apart and poking his eyeball with colour lenses. And in the middle of it - a small island of peace, streamlined concentration. Subtle, flowery, calm smell of the perfume on your wrist. Once you put your hand to his face, brushing over an eyebrow, Yoongi feels calm, enveloped in it like it's a hug. He had smelt it on you once, years ago, and mentioned it - and you didn't have to be told twice. Yoongi isn't sure, but he prefers to believe you started putting it on the gentle, sensitive spot on your wrist to keep him happy.

It's a small, caring, friendly gesture.

He realizes he is attuned to it because he is focused on you more than anybody. The discovery doesn't hit, or slap him; he finds it pretty well-expected. Spending so much time undone before you, putting his face up for you, maintaining eye contact, breathing in your flowers, he found it difficult to resist falling in love. You are, after all, incredibly funny, muttering under your nose as you work his birthmarks back into places, contouring his nose, retelling him the gossip from behind the scenes. You know his features intimately. You notice the changes in it. You're the first of all to say something when the dark circles under his eyes become prominent. You know his skin; what it needs; how it glows; what you do not realize, he is certain, is that all the while your eyes are concentrated on his face, he is watching you back. How your eyelashes flutter when you think, and how your brows draw together when you pinch one stray hair from his chin. It's sweet, unassuming intimacy that becomes almost unbearable. He looks around. Jimin always fucks with his make up artist Hana, turning his head, puffing cheeks, bobbing, laughing and making her laugh - because he is almost always bored. Namjoon tells his designated carer about everything he heard or read in the last 24 hours. Jungkook keeps flirting with them so they rotate all the time. At some point Yoongi can't even play around or feel completely relaxed anymore because he becomes hyper aware of your soft, warm, flower-scented hands. He catches himself once, leaning into your palm, when you put it on the side of his face to brush his hair. And he is thankful to no end when you take it as sleepiness.

Yoongi is a problem solver. He is a grabber. When he was little, every time he won a toy in the claw machine, he would grab it and press it to his chest and not let go for hours in the fear of someone taking it away. This attitude stayed with him. He likes to hold on to things, to people. He likes hugs and pressing something - someone - to himself to make sure it's not going away.

But before he can do that with you, completely sure he doesn't want to let go of you in the nearest future, he needs to solve this.

His shoulders slouch slightly when you whisper,

"Have you heard Hana got this hu-uge flower arrangement from Joon? So painfully cringe".

Your face is so close that now he can feel your fresh, warm breath on his cheek. Had it been anybody else, he'd be fine with it, maybe even look away.

"Joon? Namjoon?" he hoots, surprised. You shake your head,

"No, Joon the cameraman. He asked her out. Right at the office. With flowers", your mouth curls into an interesting shape, upper lip going up, "ugh".

Yoongi can't hold back a chuckle.

"Why do you hate love?"

"I don't hate love", you soften up a bit, then your hand tilts his head back slightly, gently, like it always does. He loves being handled by you; fingers attentive, never in a rush, always remembering he is a human first. Sometimes you even give him a tickle to raise his mood, and now, to his very vivid devastation, he starts taking it as signals.

"I just think it's kinda..."

"Cringe?"

"The cringe that makes me go uu-u-ghhh-ghhhaa", you explain. Yoongi bites his lip to stop his head from shaking with laughter. Your finger gets to it immediately and releases his lip from his teeth: tint already applied.

"How is it supposed to happen then, you think?" he is trying to sound ironic, maybe even a little challenging.

"I think..." you pause. For a second, you two look each other in the eye like partners in crime.

"I don't really know. But not that".

He nods. Sniffs. Takes a mental note. Not that. He picks up the flowers from the delivery guy that had been called up earlier, and passes them on to an assistant whose birthday was a week ago. She gives him a stink eye.

Yoongi can't escape the scrutiny because when he is preoccupied, his shoulders do the thing: they go forward, protecting the ribcage where the weakest part of him resides. He blinks several times at the computer, seeing lines, numbers, codes, but nothing of essence.

Hoseok raises his eyebrow, catching up on the silence that's just a different flavour of the usual one.

"Hyung, isn't it working out?"

Yoongi's fist is supporting his cheek and now he raises his head, looking around. The room is full of his boys, watching him like they are the expecting birdlings, mouths open, waiting for worms. He weighs everything. All the pros and cons. Hoba, Namjoon and Jin are the pros. Maknaes are the cons. It's unsolvable, because in situations where a final vote should decide the fate of the future, Yoongi is the one who chimes in and tips the balance. Now there's three for three, and he is paralyzed a little, wallowing just for a second in the weakness of undecidedness.

"I need to come clean", he says finally, before he can shut his mouth. What's done is done. He wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer anyway; with the boys, he is pretty open, not seeing any reason to clutter the mind with unnecessary secrets.

"About?" Jimin asks.

"Did you delete the cloud again?!" Namjoon heaves himself off the sofa with his strong arms, panicking.

"What? No", Yoongi grumbles, then scratches his head, "I'm not talking about the work".

"Ohh", Jungkook hums, "he is talking about Y/N".

"You're still hung up on her?" Seokjin wonders, changing his feet, crossing legs like he is about to give the best damn advice Yoongi's heard in his life.

"What do you mean still? It only happened recently", it's been three seconds, and he already hates talking about it. Should've kept everything to himself.

"Pretty sure it's been forever", Jin hammers, and there's an undertone to his voice, "why now?"

Yoongi groans. His hands cover his face instinctively, the fingers slide up and grab the hem of the hat to pull it down. Hoba's hands land on his shoulders from behind and give him a supportive squeeze.

"Any time is great. Love is beautiful. You deserve it".

Seokjin doesn't let go; grabbed into it like a shark. He continues:

"You've been flirting for a great while, and still nothing. You sure she feels the same?"

"Wehaventbeenflirting", Yoongi muffles from behind his hands, still refusing to peek out.

"Just say it", Namjoon helps. He sits back down on the sofa taking a half of it at once. The other half is occupied by Jungkook, and them two look at each other contemplatingly.

"There's nothing better than flowers and a date. Easy, classy, traditional-"

"What Joon did with Hana", Yoongi replies, finally looking up. He takes off his hat and crumples it in his hands, and Hoseok's flexible palm gets into his hair immediately to ruffle it. Even a simple touch like this reminds of you.

"See? All Joons think alike", the leader agrees with a satisfied dimple smile.

"Y/N told me it was the worst thing in the world", Yoongi retorts, "that it's cringe, and outdated, and lame, and awful, and he should go to jail".

Namjoon's face takes a pained expression and freezes. Jungkook chuckles.

"Y'all fools if you think you can lure her with your lame flowers".

"The best way is to let it happen naturally", Seokjin returns reinforced with pessimism, lecturing and fatalistic resolve. His hand slaps Taehyung's palm who is poking at something in his own pants. Keeps an eye on everybody's ticks. Severs everybody's dreams.

"If a girl doesn't react to you staring into her eyes every day, then you should think about it before embarrassing yourself. I advise you: do not chase the woman, make the woman chase you. Make sure your heart is safe".

Yoongi frowns at this.

"And how do you picture that? Run away when she wants to put foundation on me?"

Seokjin offers a charming grin.

"Sometimes I think you are slightly divergent".

There's a surprising round of approving hum going through the room.

"Don't take it so literally. Just... make her jealous. See where it takes you".

At first Yoongi thinks that he will never, ever engage in something as stupid as that. As he looks into his only hyung's face, illustrious as the moon, he thinks to himself, no. It's dumb. He's not a manipulator, he's a grabber.

But he can't just grab you out of nowhere.

Seokjin

Yoongi plops into the chair, tugging on the bottom of his wide shirt, and your hand immediately grabs his fingers.

"How are your thumbs?" you ask, a bit strict, observing. His mind is better nowadays. Your delicate fingers with glowing, neat nails wrap around his palm in the way that makes him think of hand holding. He jerks his hand away as per instruction. He is the chased, not the chaser.

"It's okay", he grumbles, crossing his arms on his chest. He sees your slightly surprised, a little amused expression in the mirror.

"Someone's in a bad mood?"

"No, just don't like it when you micromanage me".

He pouts unwillingly, drawing his eyebrows together. Watches you as you purse your lips to hide a smile. It's not working and it will not work, he can see it. But the phone screen already lights up with a call, and he has to pick up. As you turn him around in the chair and take the hairbrush, Yoongi answers the call.

"Oppa", Seokjin whines in a thin voice, "will you take me out for a coffee today?"

His teeth bite on the inside of his lip so hard that he almost hurts himself. The sensation of your light hand parting his hair is taking all the focus and he is torn between laughing and swearing.

"No, not..." what is he supposed to say? There's no script. It's just Jin. Pretending to be a girl.

He is twenty-six years old...

"Not today".

"Why oppa?" Seokjin stretches. It's clear he hates it as much as Yoongi does. But Jinnie always wanted to be an actor, like Tom Cruise. Let him act. This is his Swan Lake.

"I miss you. You promised to take me to the Namsan mountain and kiss me in the dusk under a wisteria tree!"

Yoongi puts his elbow on the armrest of the chair and covers his mouth. He has to employ the concert trick of squinting and hiding his face, pretending to cry, because he can't hold it in anymore. You are quiet, burshing his hair like he's in therapy. The first several minutes are always soft, relaxing, it's never a rush with you. He could've spent that time staring at you in the mirror, but instead he has to fight back the roar, sighing with his whole upper body.

"Can we talk about this when I'm not busy?" he chokes out. Suddenly, your hand taps on his shoulder. And he notices your eyes. Laughing. Attentive. Observing.

"You're not that busy".

"Who is there with you?" Seokjin shrieks. Has he forgotten he isn't the one who's supposed to be jealous?

"Oppa!"

"I am hanging up", Yoongi sighs, opening his mouth wider to let the air come in. Breathe, Min Yoongi. Just breathe.

"You can't just call me anytime you please", he continues, "we've broken up forever ago".

"Oppa, you will never get away from me!" Seokjin yells, "is she prettier than me? Tell me the truth!"

Yoongi puts the phone away from his ear carefully, like it's a rabid rat that's about to bite off his face, and finishes the call. Then places it back on the desk, his eyes dry like tree bark. He is afraid of looking in the mirror, where you slide the hair straightener in between his locks.

"God dammit. She is loud", you chuckle.

Yoongi gulps.

"Crazy ex".

"Can't blame her", your hand pats him on the cheek, almost like you own him, "you are so pretty. Dumped by Suga?" you suck the air through your teeth, "shit luck".

He can't believe it, searching for your eyes in the mirror.

"Do you want to keep the bangs curly, or straight?" you look at him with kindness. You always go with what he wants instead of what's in the stylist's lookbook.

Council

Yoongi is nibbling on his finger, staring into the computer like it can suck him inside and give him peace.

It was a tiny failure, really, but it feels like the abyss is opening up below him and taking him feet first. You are so nonchalant about it, so easy. Not a muscle twitching in the face.

You probably don't care about him. Maybe, after all these years of putting make up on him, covering his imperfections, correcting his features, you don't even see him as a man.

"What if we..." Seokjin is now shockingly invested. Went from fatalistic indifference to full plotting mode, but Jimin's hand stops him.

"No, you're out. Your plan didn't work, now it's my turn".

Yoongi raises his eyes at Jimin with horror.

"Is that how it's going to go?"

He nods.

"Show me how you flirt".

Yoongi blinks hard, as his hand lands on top of his head, and he feels the tip of his hat. He looks at himself in the mirror. Ears out, earrings dangling, he looks like a little gnome in sweatpants.

"Can I just die", he mutters. Jimin shakes it off.

"Come on. Let's see if what you've been doing even constitutes as flirting".

"No".

Jimin bulges his eyes.

"That's what you've been doing, right? Look at me. Like this?"

He stares at him, trying to do an impression.

"Simply ogling isn't flirting, hyung".

Jimin shakes his beautiful head full of cloud-white soft hair. A mane of pretty. His big eyes change with a pleasant shade of a hidden smirk, pupils concentrated. The air stops. Jimin lifts his chin, showing just a glimpse of shining, sharp teeth.

"That", he says, as his hand slides up, and the tip of the finger bothers the little silver hoop in Yoongi's ear, "is how you flirt".

Yoongi flinches, his lips baring his teeth. Just like you did, when talking about Joon and Hana. Jimin cocks his head, eyes grabbing at him; this gaze is choking, smothering. Jimin has a demonic skill of kissing from a distance.

"You seem a bit jumpy today", he utters, his voice like a sweet string, "anything happened? Yeppeuni?"

He does half a blink. I don't want to look away from you blink.

"I get it", Yoongi huffs, grouped like he is about to be ambushed. "I don't flirt like this".

"I'll teach you", Jimin snaps back to his normal self, and the painful, heavy mist of sensuality fades away from the room. Somewhere, Taehyung sighs with relief.

"No need. I think if I do it your way, she'll smack me on the nose".

Jimin nods.

"You have natural charm about you. Use it, hyung. Use your brain".

Jungkook hums like he doubts it.

2. Jimin

The wind keeps blowing the cut grass horizontally, the gusts so strong that all the hairdo comes undone in minutes. Other stylists panic. They run around, drop the products on the ground, chase the members. You. You are cool. You simply scoff at the wind and measure Yoongi with your eyes before leading him into the tent, away from the strom.

"I'll just fixate it up, what do you think?" you mutter, and he smiles.

"Ever gets tiring?" he muses.

"What?" you cover his face with your palm, ready to apply the spray, then start plucking the grass out of his hair.

"Being the best?"

"Dunno, you should answer that".

You fence off his jabs like a pro tennis player.

That's the problem.

Jimin thinks Yoongi is simply an idiot, but Jimin doesn't see how immune you are to flirting. Whatever Yoongi says, you always turn it around. You're like a vaccine against the toxicity. He tells you you look good, you turn it around, swinging him in his chair, and pointing to him in the mirror. Yoongi says you smell nice and you say it's the mist you apply on him. It's like you refuse to take it. Which is alarming.

You adjust his hair, not even a little nervous under his intense glance. He doesn't even blink. It's not I don't want to look away, it's the I want to look until by eyeballs dry out. You simply look back and smile, and he wobbles. Your finger rubs under his eyes to get the dust out.

"Tsk".

"All work in vain? We can do all over again".

"You in good mood now?"

You throw these little murmurs like a ball to each other, Yoongi clawing at the edge, but the edge refuses to come up sharp.

"I'm always in a good mood".

"Huh".

"When you're around".

"Aww".

Your hand tries to take the hoop out of his ear, and he bobs his head slightly.

"Sorry. Did it hurt?"

"No", he smirks. Then bobs again.

"Yoongi", his name comes out of your mouth with almost a moan, a bright shade of purple, a soft brush against his face. He grins. You have to grab and fixate his chin to take the earring off, and then you wrestle for the other one. Eventually, you push him into the chair and he crashes down but keeps messing around, so you are forced to hold his head with both your hands. Quite used to that: you must see the boys get bored all the time, and the only way to release it sometimes is to be unbearable.

You put in the other earrings and clasp them in his ears carefully, then he says,

"Scratch please".

Your fingers tickle behind his ear.

"Here?"

"Lower".

"The neck?"

"Yeah", he hums, deep, tilting his head forward. For a second, you oblige, then your fingers get stiff as you deliver a pinch on the back of his head.

"Don't get paid enough to be your masseuse as well".

"It could be a trade", he offers, face still down. He finds it easier like this, when nobody can see his expression. Why can't he take off his face completely and live unknown? It doesn't usually take so much stamina to simply flirt with someone - and yet, now, Yoongi is almost sweating.

You lift his head up and take the brush to fix the makeup. His curious eyes crawl up on you immediately.

"What do I get then?"

"...coffee".

All hope in the world in one little universal word.

It was you who told him once that "coffee" is the most consistent word across languages. It sounds the same in almost any country, any tongue. Wherever you are, if you ask for a coffee, you will most likely get it. He half-blinks, looking at you. And yet, you fence it again, like a sword master, grimacing.

"You bring me coffee all the time anyway. For free!"

He sighs.

"Thought you didn't notice".

"I appreciate it".

And just like that, it's over. You clean his face and release him back into the wild where the summer wind from the sea thrashes grass and sand around.

Council

He bangs his head against the wall, and Hobi, eyes full of concern, runs to him and puts his palm in between Yoongi and the hard wood.

"Maybe we should take a more classical approach", Namjoon tries again.

"There's no we in it", Yoongi mumbles.

"Oh, there is we alright", Hoseok protests, "we just aren't doing well enough".

Jungkook is chewing on his lip, his eyes huge like two plates. Every time Yoongi comes round to report, he gets more and more contemplative, and Yoongi isn't sure he likes that preoccupied expression on maknae's face. Jimin pouts; had offered to flirt with you instead of Yoongi, on his behalf, and almost got slapped.

"Yes", Taehyung erupts suddenly, "yes".

Sitting on the floor, he is staring at himself in the huge mirror, while stretching. Speaking to himself, too.

"Classic is good. To an extent. You know all that meet-cute? Put a twist on it".

Yoongi frowns. You've met years ago. Cute has always been there. So far, he isn't following. Taehyung lets his gaze travel throughout the room, loading the data, and for a second there Yoongi even thinks V might cook something. He is sophisticated. And he never got dumped in his life. At the very least, Taehyung is original.

"Extreme situations make people fall in love quicker", Taehyung says, "experiencing fear together bonds people", he looks at his hyung.

"You suggest we get mugged together?" he asks darkly.

Jungkook opens his mouth and gasps:

"That could work!"

Namjoon tries to cut it before Jungkook pulls his t-shirt onto his head with excitement. Of course he will volunteer to be the mugger.

"A bit too extreme? I meant like..."

Maknaes cut him off.

"Well, mugging might be a bit too basic. I meant something like... getting stuck somewhere together. Like during a storm... you know all doors are electronic", he motions towards the exit, "they did get jammed once, last year. And people got stuck together for hours".

He shrugs. Yoongi raises his eyes to the ceiling and looks at the lights to let them blind himself. Then, as the white burns his retina, he actually gets an idea. Dumb, infantile, but it's not dumber than Seokjin pretending to be an ex girlfriend.

"Okay".

The others are surprised. They turn heads to him, Taehyung's eyebrows and legs both up.

"Okay?"

"We'll be on Namsan on Friday, right?" he shrugs. Shrugs, trying to shake off this idea while he still can. But it doesn't come off.

"And you'll kiss Jin under the wisteria tree?" Jimin wonders. Seokjin snaps his head towards them.

"The cable road is old", Yoongi says. Taehyung's face is slowly lighting up in a smile. He looks at Jungkook who is getting the signal transmission straight into his brain, and also begins grinning.

"You got it".

He closes his eyes and pictures the slope of the hill where the cable cars start their ascent to the top. He prays his life won't be over on Friday, but if he ends up getting killed together with you, because Jungkook smashes the engine with a hammer, at least... at least... no, he got nothing.

3. Taehyung

The sky is cast, and he sees you are judging it silently. Your hands clutch the makeup kit, and Yoongi hooks the belt and tugs it away from you.

"Thanks".

He nods. Always the good boy. Jungkook got this habit from him: help out a little, to the people around. It won't hurt. Problem is, Yoongi is helping so much that it has become a norm, not a gesture.

"If it rains, we're screwed".

"We'll have to move very quickly", director says, heaving the huge camera into a car that's slowly crawling away, and jumping after it. You aren't convinced. There's an adorable wrinkle in between your brows.

"I'm not actually made of sugar, you know", he jokes, and you sniff half-heartedly. Yoongi looks above your shoulder where Jimin rolls his eyes as far as he can with disapproval.

Hana tugs you by the hand as the next car approaches, and you walk behind her to jump in. Jimin steps in front of you, unclasping your hands in one nonchalant motion.

"Sorry, Y/N, this is the star car. You're going in the next one", he smiles. You raise your eyebrows.

"Can't I ride with my stylist?" he whines. The car is coming. There's not much time to think. He pulls poor Hana after himself.

"I have ridden with you plenty!" Hana protests in shrill voice, and you chuckle. They get inside, and your friend shoots you a miserable glance. The flowers and asking out didn't work out after all. Joon should've known better.

Yoongi is at your shoulder, muttering,

"Is it 'ride with your make up artist' day?"

"Jimin's just feeling cunty again", you suppose. He catches the car with his strong hand and opens the door for you. You get inside and keep the door open, but, as Yoongi sits next to you, you are met with a bunch of blank faces, looking away. The door closes.

He looks outside. The sky is getting greyish. Maybe it will rain after all, and the whole shooting will have to be called off. Back an hour ago, when you all left the building, it was sunny.

"Are you cold?" he checks. You shake your head gently.

"Weather changed".

"Yeah".

If it goes on like that, Yoongi will simply jump out and crash on the ground. That surely will be better. Your knee brushes slightly against his as the car begins the painfully slow ascent, surrounded by the green of the hill and the grey of the world. Seoul is falling lower and lower, left behind. He is watching you: you look out every time, like you've never seen the view before. He thinks about what's going to happen if he just takes your hand. Just takes it, the pretty fingers, flowery wrist, carefully manicured nails, - and doesn't let go. Yoongi doesn't want it to turn sore. Feeling in love is amazing and inspiring, but he knows there will be a point in the future when it starts bringing him pain. You turn to him like there has been a conversation going, easy, ignoring the awkward pause.

"So, what's up?"

He hums instead of response. Pushes a gulp down his throat, then steadies himself. The car swings very slightly as the iron thread crawls above the roof, pulling you both up the mountain.

"Your lips are all eaten off".

Yoongi's teeth catch the lower one like it was a command. He is horrified. He should have known: you read him like a newspaper, off his face. You know his allergies because they come through on his skin. His bad habits. How he chews food. How he sleeps. Because his face is your job. He wonders then if he comes across as lovable at all - does he withstand such close observation?

"Album", he says.

"Album?"

"Yeah".

"You're doing all the mastering on your own again?"

"I'd rather not let anybody else do it".

You smirk and reach for him, and for a second Yoongi thinks a hug is coming. But your hand unzips the make up kit and plunges inside, shuffling through products. You pull out a small bottle.

"Take it home and do the eyes, you start looking tired again".

"Okay".

He takes it, fingers clashing. Then it comes: somewhere at the base, Jungkook 'accidentally sits his ass down on the lever', and the whole cable abruptly stops, sendind a shock wave through the array of cars.

As it happens, the kit slides off Yoongi's knees, open, and everything that was inside - is now outside. The serum is yanked from in between your hands, too, by acceleration still going in the air, and the noise of the clatter fills the car. You gasp, yelp, while Yoongi instinctively puts his arm across your chest to keep you in place. Well, almost instinctively: it's not like he hadn't calculated this moment. The swing is so powerful that the car jerks to and fro like a little bell on a thread. Someone shrieks in the next one.

"Shit- fuck! God dammit!" you yell once you gain your orientation back. There are slits below, under the doors, and the small things like eyebrow brushes roll over and fall down. You get to your knees and start gathering the products. Yoongi takes a second to squeeze his eyes shut and take a breath. Meet-cute in the most perverse form imaginable.

"Oh, I am getting nauseous", you grumble from the floor, and he slides after you, taking you by the shoulder.

"Then sit, I'll get it".

You tilt your head back and look out.

"What happened? Oh my god, are we going to die?"

He sniffs.

"Don't think so. It must have jammed".

It's still swinging, and he has to employ his cat balance skills to stay up while he is gathering every little thing scattered from the kit.

"I've seen a movie about it. I know if we jump, we will break our legs", you continue. Yoongi looks up at you.

"We won't have to jump. They will fix it in no time".

He even grins a little, thinking you're overreacting. That is good. He can just scoot over and comfort you a little.

Which he is trying. Putting the 90% complete kit on the seat across from himself, he sits back and rests his hand in between you.

Realizes he's never done this. Directly. He has never been in a situation where he had to chat someone up lowkey. All his life, Yoongi has been the chased. Even before he became Suga. Girls at school sent him notes. The invitations were sent through the whispers. Phone numbers written on a heart-shaped piece of paper were delivered to his desk. He has been spoiled by life, spared of the need to act on it. And now his hand rests on the faded blue plastic seat in between you, and he can picture your quick foot kicking him out of the car if he dares to touch you.

You finally snort with irritation. He understands why immediately. The first plop-plop of the rain rattles on the roof, and he looks up through the window.

"Wow".

"All coming together", you jeer, ironic-cheerful. He grins at that. You cross your arms on your chest. The moment drags.

Say it.

Just say it.

I like you. I like you a lot. I like you enough that it will get you kicked out of the company, probably. I like you so much I can't write songs that aren't about you anymore.

A song was his own plan number one. You listened to it. It flew right over your head. You barely heard into it, he bets. He is completely off your radar.

"You feeling okay?" he asks, recalling what you said a minute ago. You nod.

"Yeah, the swinging was a little too sudden at first, but I'm fine".

"If you need to throw up, we gotta lose all the makeup".

You laugh, wince, chuckle, all at the same time. Your hand taps his palm lying on the seat, and Yoongi seizes this moment to grab it. He is a grabber. Fingers catch yours and you give him a comforting look.

"Oh. You're afraid of heights, aren't you?"

It's like every time he makes a step closer to you, your brain finds a way to justify it.

Yoongi lies,

"Terrified".

Your thumb strokes the back of his hand. Now he has a reason not to look out the window and instead stare at you. The rain starts banging louder, and you frown. The sound is quite pleasing; hissing grows, summery whisper, and the car is getting filled with refreshing chill. You say the words he has been craving to hear.

"It is getting colder".

He nods, pulling you closer, and you let his arm wrap around your shoulder. Instead of giving him a look, or questioning it, you just press your shoulder into him, and settle down.

What if you are already dating, and somehow he isn't aware of it, Yoongi thinks, suddenly scared. Maybe he is so dumb that it somehow fell through the cracks. He doesn't know how to explain this otherwise. Your eyes are on the window, lashes moving slightly as you blink. His phone rings just when Yoongi is about to open his mouth, and you flinch, startled. His fingers squeeze your shoulder.

He sees it's the same number Jin called from, when acting out his prima moment.

"What?"

"This is Jenny, your ex-girlfriend", he says in his normal voice. Yoongi's knuckles go white around the phone.

"What?" he repeats, like a robot.

"How's it going? Do you need more time?"

"You're still down there?"

"Yes. We don't know how else to stall. Jungkook has been reprimanded twice. Get to kissing".

Seokjin finishes the call before Yoongi can say anything, and he loses all energy. This is utterly dumb. He isn't willing to move, mainly because this, here, is already good.

"Why are they still on the ground?" you ask.

"No idea. Something about Jungkook being afraid to go... or like..."

Visceral metal noise cuts him off as the car swings again. The cable begins turning again with a moan, and you sigh, almost with regret? Yoongi drinks the sound slowly.

"There we go", you murmur, your face at his shoulder. "No brushes, the rain, I guess we will just ride back down at once".

It makes him snort with laughter.

Council

"Taehyung is out".

"You didn't do it right", Taehyung hisses through his teeth.

"Taehyung is out", Namjoon presses. Agitated, enthusiastic to prove his classics might still work. Ever since the first shock of immediate rejection of flowers, he's been sore about it.

Now they have occupied a whole ass conference room. Hana is there, as well. Jimin's flirting worked on her from the first try, just like that. Heads clashed together, IQ loading. One more failure, and they will have to start an excel document.

It's becoming sport at this point. Hoseok's hands are on his shoulders again, massaging, like Yoongi is about to kick in someone's face. He is willing to quit the shenanigans at this point. No matter if you think it cringe, or stupid: maybe he should just come up and say it. Say it while your hand hovers above his nose. Or while it is in his hair. He closes his eyes painfully and rubs one with his fingers.

"Listen to me. It's the small things", Namjoon lectures, "they make someone fall in love with you. You are, in fact, very good at it. That's why we are all in love with you".

Jimin nods enthusiastically. Seokjin frowns but doesn't say anything.

"Problem with small things, they have become something regular", Yoongi weighs in. "I always bring her coffee. I carry her bag. I adjust her chair".

Hana produces a sound that resembles an "oh".

"What about The Book?" Namjoon asks, almost ignoring Yoongi completely. He stops in his tracks.

"The Book?"

"The Book?" Hoseok echoes.

Namjoon takes a moment to appreciate everyone's attention. He puts his elbows on the desk like a professor.

"You bring her a book you've been oiling her up about. You gotta gush over it first. Really sell it to her. Then you buy it for her and", he pretends to throw an invisible book on the desk in front of Taehyung, "just casually. But!" he raises one finger. Jungkook isn't even breathing. "You have written something in the middle. Just in between seventh and eighth chapter".

"What did I write?" Yoongi asks, breathlessly.

"I am in love with you". Namjoon utters, looking Taehyung deep in the eye. Taehyung tries to lean away.

"Would be great if the book isn't a postapocalyptic dystopia", the leader adds. Then rests his case.

"This is so lame!" Hoseok yells, "You think the girl who vomited at the flowers, will be ecstatic about this?"

"Yeah, it's pretty lame", Taehyung murmurs. Even Jin, unfortunately, nods.

"Hana?"

All heads turn to your friend. Hana is sore about something. Jimin tilts his head to catch her eye.

"Hana?"

"You never adjust my chair, Jimin oppa".

Yoongi feels a painful pang inside the vein in his right temple. Yes, it is pretty lame. Namjoon does have a point though. The little things are something he is an absolute champion in. Little things are Yoongi's profession. He remembers every movie you ever spoke about; he knows the food you are always ready to eat, and the food you will never try again. He remembers things you tell him, even when you say it just to fill the silence; he is attuned to you.

He will simply have to maximize it to make it stand out.

4. Namjoon

He does maximize it. Now Hana is a witness: she starts noticing things, and it only makes her more upset with Jimin who is an unwilling actor in this stupid play. He simply wanted a distraction, a light, non-invasive summer romance, so to say, and now he is berated every day by his make up artist, because he "doesn't adjust the seat; doesn't remember the kind of coffee she likes; doesn't comment on her new nails, doesn't send her monkey memes". Hana makes it sound loud and clear, implicated in their covert op; so that you hear it when she makes the comparison.

You tug on the hem of his shirt, big, plump brush tickling his collarbone and the base of the neck; you hum with approval.

Yoongi asks you only with his eyes, through the mirror.

"It's my favourite shirt!" you nod. He beams quietly. Jimin, on your left, throws his head back with a groan.

Yoongi replaces the lost brushes that fell through the slit in the cable car, before you manage to buy them yourself. He races against the time and wins.

He peels off all the stupid labels and barcodes you hate on your products, as well.

After the opening night of a movie you'd been waiting for, he brings you merch and you walk around in the hoodie, showing it off to everybody who has eyes.

Yoongi knows you always cut your finger in the same spot when working with scissors, and produces a bandaid quicker than you even let out a yelp of pain.

Yoongi brings you a keychain that's customized to look like your pet - and tells you he just so happened to see it accidentally somewhere in the, uh, in the city (cranks his brain to recall where normal people go to buy souvenirs, and the only word that comes up in there is Hongdae).

Yoongi brings up the relatives and friends you'd mentioned weeks ago, checking on them skilfully, letting the information steep before delivering the soft blow of love bombing that is supposed to shatter you and give you a glimpse into what his mind looks like. Full of you. Instead of getting nervous, suspicious, flustered, you sigh, kind of with sadness? And just reply to him. And he wonders how deep this friendship, this forced mental intimacy goes exactly, if you do not even react to the profound proof of his focus. Hana's jaw is unhinged; ever since she was pulled into it and gotten on the know, she has been noticing your nonchalance like it's a mountain of doom.

Yoongi becomes so proficient in this friendzone-stuck protoboyfriend shit, that even the other crew members, who know better than to hit on an idol, become his school time sighing suitors again. Phone numbers on the folded napkins. Anonymous messages from unknow numbers. Sweet drinks in the dressing room, brought especially for him.

You smirk with the weird dreamy look in your eyes. The thing Yoongi wants to hold on to is the way your hands tug on his hair today. Slightly more dramatic? A little rushed? Which is almost never the case with you. In between the hug in the cable car and now, it almost feels like a microscopic progress. You sniff through your nose when you place a note in front of him on the desk.

"Someone asked me to pass it to you".

It's another phone number. The way your voice sounds is one degree off the usual course, and he wants to think it's jealousy. Yoongi folds the note carefully and unhurriedly puts it into the garbage bin without making a big deal out of it. He thinks it's a great moment to sneak in a slow explosive. You even give him the opportunity. The way your hand lies on his forehead, almost like you're taking his temperature, feels like home.

"Not even a chance?" you chuckle. Softer than a second ago.

"I sort of... am unavailable".

You turn him with the chair and crank the pedal to lift him up a little. Put the pins in his hair to get the bangs away.

"Oh my god", your voice drops to a comfortable murmur. Finally, his favourite part of the day. Half an arm's length between your faces. You take the pad and start dabbing his face, cool, smelly toner enveloping his head. It mixes with the perfume on your wrist, and he wants to simply lean forward, fall off the chair and crash into you.

"I knew there was something up with you".

"Really?"

"You've been overly zealous the last weeks. The whole box of strawberries? You remember the last time you did it?"

Yoongi blinks. Instead of the fluffy pink of love, his chest gets infused with the black of horror. Oh. Oh no. Oh hell no.

"Three years ago, you also brought me a shit ton of strawberries, that was when", you continue, relentlessly, your smile like a sunspot on his face, cutting him, down to the throat, disfiguring, "when you had a crush on that script writer girl".

He wants to protest.

He wants to say that ridiculous box of strawberries that he paid for with three nights of eviscerating pain in his shoulder (it weighed a LOT), was for you, exclusively for you, because he is in love with you, and you should take it at a face value. He is this fucking close to snapping. Before kissing you, perhaps he wants to headbutt you.

"Yoongi, are you in love again?"

You brush away a stray hair from his forehead and throw the pad into the bin.

"Uh-huh", his heart stomps on his lungs. He senses failure like an animal. You tilt your head.

"Well, I won't push, but you gotta give me the tea sooner or later", you whisper.

Hana and Jimin aside are frozen like two statues, pretending to work, where in reality they are vibrating like ringing phones.

"It's you".

You bite on your lip.

"Tsk".

A gentle slap on his ear. Yoongi's breathing is stuck somewhere at the base of his throat. He shoots a glance at Jimin.

Do you see the shit I am working with?

Jimin's face is horrified in the funniest grimace Yoongi has seen in years. He would even laugh, had the circumstances been different.

"Chin up, funny guy", you order, and Yoongi obeys. Maybe he can even have babies with you, without you noticing.

Council

"The situation seems to be drastic", Jimin is marching in front of the wall full of Namjoon's relatives' pictures like they are assets, and he is a mission facilitator. Mission: impossible.

"Can I ask a question?" Taehyung raises his hand, his voice very soft. Yoongi hides his face behind his five left fingers.

"You don't have to raise your hand".

"Is she like... dumb or something?"

He is trying to soften it by speaking extra gently though. Seokjin chokes and coughs shortly.

"I think she just doesn't like him".

Hoseok brushes it off.

"That's not possible".

Yoongi is properly depressed. Jungkook pushes a cup of tea towards him across the coffee table and spills half of it on the go. Namjoon jumps up, grunting, and starts wiping.

"Maybe I am cursed because of you guys", Yoongi mumbles, "how are you that dysfunctional?"

"Why are you so afraid of talking to her directly?" Namjoon presses, his words, and the cloth onto the coffee table. Jimin hugs himself, lonely, against the wall.

"Because he knows what she'll say", Seokjin keeps poking the wound.

"Listen, Jenny", Jimin jumps in, "just cause you don't believe in love..."

"It's still cruel, she should just say it".

"You know she'll lose her job if anything like that comes up?" the eldest sharpens the knife before plunging it into Yoongi's ear canal, "You realize that? Many people already got kicked out that way. I mean, Joon the cameraman? Didn't he "resign" after the Hana incident? And she isn't one of us".

Yoongi blinks at his palm as if trying to read the truth off of it. You're good at that buffoonery. Read his palm a couple of times, after seeing the instruction on the internet. Told him he's going to have seventy-five kids and die at the age of fifteen.

"I just", he moans, again, mouth working before the brain. Was meaning to say it internally, not out loud. But everybody shuts up - now they do. Now they shut up, but not when he really needs them to. All eyes on him.

"What, hyung?" Jungkook urges.

"It just pisses me off every little fucking thing reminds me of her, that's all", he mutters, sore, chin down.

"He is in the twilight zone", Taehyung notes.

"He's in friendzone".

"Will you shut up?"

"He needs to move on and leave the poor dumb girl alone".

"What-do-girls-like!" Hobi yells suddenly, sensing the typhoon of nonsense coming again. Diffuses the chatter with his trademark funny, pointy voice. Cocks his head to the side, then walks over, pushing Jimin in the ribs.

"Please".

"This isn't really..."

He shushes Namjoon half-heartedly.

"What do girls like I ask you!"

"Bodily autonomy", Taehyung responds, swinging his fist in the air.

"Ghibli-style nature locations", Namjoon gives up. Hobi winces.

"Prada?" Jimin asks.

"Closer".

"Uh, when the... you know, steel-grey sky and rainbow against it, right after the storm? And you take their picture with it" Jungkook points his finger at Hobi. If Yoongi takes a very good swing, he could break the table with his head. He is starting to assume the position.

"Girls like bad boys", Seokjin says, "and Yoongi isn't bad, not even close".

"Wrong, wrong, wrong", Hoseok slaps away their words like they are butterflies - and butterflies are still insects.

"Girls like big, obvious, direct, lush gestures", he concludes, looking directly at Yoongi. "Her birthday is coming up. Buy her a fucking boat and take her to Jeju. You can confess half-way there, and push her out if she says no".

"Maybe not a boat, but..." Yoongi shifts on the couch, tucking his feet under. Jungkook is listening to him with his mouth open.

"Uh huh?"

"She always wears those", Yoongi gestures to his neck, "bead necklaces".

"Oh, I like them", Hobi responds.

"But I saw a version of that made by Bvlgari", Yoongi continues. There's energy in his voice although his brain is almost shut off. "I could, like, customize it or some shit. Put my damn initial on the underside".

Taehyung's face becomes long with an 'oooh'.

"Hyung, you are professionally romantic".

He falls back on the couch. It just fell out of his head; he has a million better ideas, but feels too tired to spell them out.

5. Hoseok

He wants to be angry with you. Can't help being angry with himself, instead. Skinny love. He is so scared of rejection it makes his butt numb. And at this point he is 79% sure rejection will be issued if he tries anything.

So instead he tilts his head back, as usual, taking what he can. The stroke of your hand. He holds up his phone as you both watch a Japanese baseball player explaining the beneficial power of bananas.

"Does it still hurt?" your finger brushes over his crooked scar on the ear, and he shakes his head.

"No. It wasn't a big cut to begin with".

"Your hair is growing out. I think it's time for Gang Signs Throwing Yoongi again", and you smile. Yoongi's eyes slide onto the clock on the wall. He prays you won't have scissors in your hands in the next four minutes, because the lights will go out.

You have a pencil instead, but do not poke him in the eye.

When the lamps die, you still have it on your tongue, licking the tip, giving away your old school roots. The last thing he sees is the line of your jaw.

You sigh in the darkness.

"Where are you?"

"Wow, it's pitch black", Yoongi hoots quietly. His hand searches for yours, and you clutch his palm.

"Where's the phone?" you chuckle.

"There will be light in a minute, don't worry about it".

You tug on his fingers.

"What... ah".

"You forgot it's your own birthday?"

Seven minutes in heaven. Yoongi stands up slowly from the chair, trying not to bump into you. It's a windowless room, full of mirrors that are useless now. He fantasizes about staying in this dark for longer, his hands feel around for your shoulders and find your waist instead.

"Turn around slowl... slowly... that's my foot".

You laugh, very close. He guides you further. You don't shiver. The universe isn't merciful to him, it doesn't like him. The door isn't locked, just like it is not supposed to be. And so it opens, too soon, before Yoongi grounds the feeling of your body under his palms, and the light returns in jumping orange splashes.

The makeup crew, together with Jimin and curious Hoseok, enter the dressing room, chanting. Yoongi manages a smile and takes a step back. He would like to :) take the cake out of Hana's hands :) and smash it into someone's face :) to be honest :) he is horny as hell :)

The cake drifts through the darkness, and Yoongi is ready to pay a lot of money to know what you wish for before blowing it out. You take things like these seriously, one of the reasons he loves you. The little silly things about life. Looking out the window while you are riding a cable car. Putting effort into the mock reading of his palm. Believing in wishes. Yoongi can't do that anymore, and he wants to know the secret. How to stay dreaming. His smile is growing more and more sincere as he watches, and finally, he is almost at peace by the time the big lights come back up again.

He still tries to move away his hips when you hug him after he gives you the present box.

Your eyes grow huge when you take off the wrapping paper, and Yoongi suddenly gets very curious about the cake, putting all his attention onto it. People say, it's nice seeing the expression of their face when someone opens up a gift. It isn't. It's awkward. He bites his lower lip. Hobi's breathing into his ear like a maniac behind his shoulder. His finger pokes into the cake and steals some icing, and Yoongi slaps him lightly.

"Oh shii-i-it", you say. Is it too much? It should be. The gem stones are heart-shaped for god's sake. The middle one, a pink sapphire, has a tiny Y engraved on the back of it, where the letter will kiss your skin once you put it on. Girls gasp. Jimin will get a beating, but at least he had been informed beforehand. You look a little alarmed, finally. Yoongi nods almost business-like as you hug him again, longer this time, and allows himself to wrap his hands around you properly.

"Yoongi... thank you?" you say.

"Happy birthday?"

"Yeah?"

Jimin and Hoseok exchange glances.

"Um..." you whisper into his neck, "isn't it a little expensive?"

People around disperse gradually, drawn by the cake that becomes smaller and smaller, fractured.

"I am rich", he whispers back, and you shake with a chuckle.

"Okay, I will switch to the good foundation..."

"And stop licking applicators?"

"No".

He laughs. He is still torn apart like his body is munched by a plane engine, but he is laughing.

Council

Jungkook is the dark horse. Always been, always will be. Yoongi feels his eyes go black as he watches maknae with silent expectation. The studio is almost empty, save for them three: the most hardworking one, the least hardworking one, and the one who likes seeing himself dance too much. Even Hobi is out for the weekend.

"You've been keeping it in for a long time", Yoongi says. Jungkook flashes him a white-toothed grin. He switches from an innocent bambi to a mafia boss au in a second.

"Dropped something at the very beginning and shut up".

Taehyung unscrews a bottle of water and pours it into his mouth.

"I was expecting you, hyung", Kookie utters, clasping his hands together.

Yoongi smirks darkly. He has no hope and no anger in him. He is dangerously close to serenity, in fact. If Jungkook's idea is to kidnap you and cuff you to a pipe in a basement, he will consider it.

"Do you want to hear it though?"

"Sure", Yoongi shrugs and wraps the towel around his neck, rubbing the sweat off. Then throws it on the floor and sits on top.

"What the hell. Go on".

"I shall demonstrate on Taehyung".

"Why me again?" Taehyung shrills. Maknae pulls his bestie closer, assuming a weirdly sexual position, popping his hip.

"You know, I drown in pussy", he begins. Yoongi closes his eyes solemnly.

"Strong lead-in".

"Ask me how".

Aftertrain Jungkook, with his bangs up, breathing through his mouth, young, blushing, is the sexiest thing one can see in the wild. Taehyung next to him, blonde, twitching, scared for his life, beating in his hands, unsure what's going to happen to him - the most poetic. Yoongi puts the hair behind his ears obediently.

"How?"

"The power", Jungkook puffs, "of proper - physical - touch".

The second time this assault happening among them, this time Taehyung being the victim. Jungkook takes his hand, fingers squeezing the palm not too tightly, gently enough. Like his thumb is sending the signals of pleasure straight into Jungkook's brain.

"Wow, your fingers... kinda tasty", he mutters, looking Taehyung in the eye. V clenches his jaws together.

"That's it?" Yoongi asks. "Your fingers tasty?"

"Wait, no-" maknae panics, "you can also go for the ear".

"Jimin did the ear already".

"And the inside of the kneecap. You're seated, right? It's easy to reach there when you sit. She walks around you, and you pretend to have forgotten something. Hey, Y/N, whoosh".

Jungkook bows and aims for Taehyung's knee, only to get pushed away by the face.

"Well, you get the idea, right? Arm, from elbow to her wrist. Also, you know what", Jungkook is working his brains real time, "she applies tint with her fingers? Kiss them?"

"You got a thing for fingers?" Taehyung looks at him from under the brow.

"Why don't I just-" Yoongi is having fun in the most morbid way, "say something like, sit on my face. Sit on my face? It's relevant enough, right? Cause it's my face she's working with".

Jungkook stoops a little.

"I tried it once, it didn't work".

"You didn't try it with a make up artist though", Taehyung helps, "it was a coffeeshop barista. It just didn't make any sense".

They start bickering. Two children, consumed by each other, the two attached at the hip, so attuned that they don't really need anybody else in the room to be entertained. After a little banter, Jungkook turns back to Yoongi:

"Feels like it's your last chance".

"I am also friends with a little band called Seventeen", he croaks, lifting himself off the floor. Taehyung snickers. Jungkook gives him two thumbs up as if he's done something here:

"Best of luck".

"Fighting!" Taehyung is happy again.

6. Jungkook

It comes up unexpectedly. You come up unexpectedly. The whole second floor of the rental is empty, hence Yoongi is there. While the others are releasing the pent up energy from the day outside, dragging staff into a game of football, he is having his quiet moment. Old man pains. Whatever they call it.

You're caught up in his glance like a mouse-thief, holding something to your chest, your mouth agape.

"I thought there was no one here".

Yoongi shakes his head. He can see the necklace. The 100 000$ necklace with heart-shaped gem stones hanging on your neck, contrasting with a 15$ grey Uniqlo shirt. You look atrociously stunning in it. Yoongi squints his eyes and sees six bottles of red bull in your hands.

"You..."

"I am making red bull ice".

He ponders for a second.

"Why?"

"Because I love red bull", you nod like it explains the ice part and march past him to the kitchen where a small freezer guards ice cream.

"You shouldn't..." he reaches out through the air, "put them in there in cans. They might explode. Better pour them in ice trays".

He has to get up and waddle after you because you don't seem to hear. He toddles into the smaller kitchen to help and opens all the cupboards as the search for ice trays begins.

Physical touch.

There's plenty of physical touch between you, so it's the same fucking issue as usual. How does one make it obvious. Yoongi is far from an unhinged fratboy, but what he wants to do now is exactly something like that. Every time they give him a strategy, he warps it to his own vision until it's unrecognizable. After all, he is a grabber, and it's his territory. Instead of taking your hand and admiring the edibility of the fingers, he pokes you in the rib.

"Ouch", you take it way calmer than he expects, and it tells him everything he needs to know.

"Your pancreas won't like this amount of red bull. Ice", he says.

"Says the functioning alcoholic?"

He sucks the air through his teeth, disarmed disgracefully. Since he has nothing to say, and his hands are itchy, he stares into your back and how your shoulder blade flexes as you open up the cans, and pokes you again.

"Yoongi, quit it".

The others were right. He is in the twilight zone. This monstrous crush is borderlining obsession, and he doesn't recognize himself anymore. He pokes again just to hear your voice. You turn around, a lock of hair on your eyes, and you put it away quickly.

"What's gotten into you?"

Your eyes search up his face as he pulls his cheeks apart in a non-smile. For some reason his eyes follow your index finger scratching your nose.

"Bored".

"Don't be bored", you jerk the ice tray on the table, "in three to five hours we will have red bull ice".

He likes the way you include him into this heartburn-inducing adventure. He likes the way you say "we".

"What shall we do meanwhile?"

Here, on the second floor of the three-storey house, it's easier to pretend you two have this whole place to yourselves. It's times bigger than the amount of people: them seven and the staff. There's even a good chance no one will come up here when the football is over.

"A... movie?" for a girl hating on the traditional 'cringe' things you suggest a very traditional pastime, and he is down.

He plops himself on the couch looking at the gems reflecting the blinding light in flashes. Yoongi even moves his shoulders trying to restrain himself from asking how you like it. If you found him in the necklace. He is trying to play it cool, encapsulating all the members' strategies in himself, all at once. Unreachable, nonchalant, spontaneous with exactly one tiny cube of Fruittella he shoots at you. You look up from your side of the couch.

"Strawberry".

When you are very happy about something, you say 'whoo' under your breath.

Your eyes slide onto his neck.

"You cut yourself again?"

Yoongi used to get irritated about how you treated everything above his shoulders as your own property. Now he simply loves it. As you launch across, your hands on his chin, tilting it to the side. The perfume from your wrist reaches his nostrils, and he loses his cool.

"Yoongi, you're not using moisturizer before shaving", it's a statement. His hand already snakes in between you, ready to attack. Tom Cruise appears on the screen and yanks your attention, just for a moment. You are like a squirrel, here and there, head snapping.

"I do use it", he lies.

"Don't lie to me".

"My hands shake because I am an alcoholic, and I cut myself".

You click your tongue and want to say something, but he pokes you again. Your pretty mouth catches air. Tom is battling with Min Yoongi for just a glimpse of you, and you are slowly pulled into the world of cinematography. You know he is bullshitting, but you are just too used to it.

"You're on your last warning", you mutter, sitting way closer to him than before. Yoongi realizes you put on... the Mummy? Out of all Tom Cruise movies you could have chosen, you put on the Mummy.

"And then what?" he pushes, his eyes on the TV as well.

"Then I kick you".

"You can't kick me, I'm an idol".

Your hand brushes him off. He has lost to the last great movie star, even if you're wearing his necklace.

"Who is more famous, me or Tom Cruise?"

"Tom Cruise", you say automatically, and Yoongi sinks deeper into the couch.

"He could be your father".

You gasp, dreamy.

"Imagine that. He'd be a lousy father, but still".

"I mean I'm..."

Your hand suddenly gets into his hair. And it's not the usual soft, professional touch that Yoongi is used to. It's a grab. You yank him like he's an insolent boy, and he tips over even before he realizes what you are doing. A second; and his head is on your lap, Yoongi himself still producing a moan of pain. He has to readjust, swinging his hips, bending legs to fit, as he lies down. Your hand presses on the side of his head and Yoongi has no idea what the fuck is going on.

"Shh".

Yoongi is turning, trying to fit his elbow under himself and not move his head lest you remove your hand.

"When Tom Cruise is on screen, we are what?" the fingers drum on the side of his skull.

"Uh..."

"Silent as a grave".

"It's not even a good one, can we watch T-"

You cover his mouth with your little palm, and he shuts up. If it weren't for Tom Cruise, sorry, 🌸🌷🌺Tom Cruise🌼🌻💐, now would be a great time to ask,

what are we??

Council

Namjoon is under the desk. His hand feeling around on the linoleum, his own body covering the light. He is in the shade of his own clumsiness, scrambling for pieces of his own life: all his credit and name cards are on the floor.

The door sounds like someone is trying to take it off hinges. Jammed last month again, so now the handle is half-broken. Namjoon twists his body to see, and recognizes your feet.

"Butt of Namjoon?"

"Hey".

Even though there's a joke in between your teeth, as always, you don't sound joyful.

Also it's weird that you came to speak to him at all. Your tone shows intention. Namjoon crawls backwards and sits himself on the floor comfortably, looking up.

You are sad. The necklace Yoongi gave you, a small, intricate and stylish piece of quiet luxury on your neck, almost completely hidden by the collar of your hoodie.

"I need to speak to you first".

He doesn't have any idea what it is, but his mind starts going places.

"Why?"

"Because you're the leader".

Namjoon grinds his jaws against each other, one hand covering his ear. You are a remarkable girl. You never shiver or anything like that, and never did. Guess this job makes you tough very quickly. Even now, displaying classical signs of distress - lowered head, inexpressive eyes - you do not fidget. It indicates deeper sadness, he thinks.

"I am going to quit", you say, simply. It doesn't have any intonation, any colour. Namjoon supports himself against the desk.

"Why?"

You look at him.

"Personal reasons", you pause. Your finger tortures the lower lip, "personal feelings".

He is quiet, stranding you alone in this. Namjoon blinks. He was moderately invested and now he is dying to hear this shit.

"I kind of... caught a crush on Yoongi", you sigh heavily, like you've been unloading something.

"Y/N-"

"Like a year ago".

Namjoon shuts up.

"Or maybe earlier. I don't know", your hands drop on the desk. "I've been doing alright, but I guess it's piling up, you know? Lately it's been difficult, I am getting sad. And I need to get away before I screw things up".

Namjoon puts a double security on his mouth: bites his lip and covers it with his hand. He wants to say something very funny but knows this, this thing unravelling in front of him, is incredibly human. Yeah, funny as hell. But human.

"I'll stop you right there", Namjoon puts out his hand and, after careful consideration, it crawls across the desk and covers your palm.

"You're a great make up artist".

"That's not the point..."

"And I am not the one you should be talking about it".

You finally close up:

"No, no, I don't wanna tell Yoongi anything. It's going to be so humiliating".

"You've known each other for three years..."

"I couldn't bear looking at him if..."

"...even if feelings weren't involved, he must know..."

"...and he will say not to go..."

"...oh my god!" Namjoon snaps. The disciplined, civilized, mannered Namjoon shrieks at you. "They are heart shaped!"

Your mouth freezes open.

"What?"

"The gems!" he is pointing at your necklace, desperate, completely miserable, disbelieving. He can't control his voice anymore. "Each little fucking gem is heart shaped, Y/N! And there's a Y on the inside!"

Your bewilderment is adorable. Namjoon sincerely gets it. Your hand flies up to your neck. Your tormented expression slowly relaxes as your eyes run over his face. He feels bad about screaming but it's a matter for shouting. Namjoon raises his hand.

"Sorry. I might have overreacted".

Your mouth is agape, and he wants to reach out again and tap it shut with his finger.

"But you get the idea, yeah?"

You nod several times in small motions.

"Have I... convinced you to stay for now?"

You nod again.

"Mm, mm-hm".

You sit in silence for a while, turned away from each other, room suddenly smothering stuffy. Then you push your chin down.

"I didn't see any letters", you mutter.

"It's very small", Namjoon responds tiredly. Your fingers feel along the necklace, and he softens up again.

"It's pretty, isn't it?"

"I never take it off", you confirm, "I even sleep in it".

He kind of melts.

7. Yoongi

He bites on the chocolate bar from your hand and moves his jaws. Eyes concentrated in the mirror. You are efficient: the bar disappears and the brush appears immediately. It's like you have ten hands. Then one of them lies on the side of his head - you can see he is nervous - and he leans in out of habit. Fingers rub on his scalp shortly, then the bar hovers around his mouth again. Yoongi bites.

Something tickles his nostrils.

The scent of is peace in the ocean of chaos of the dressing room has changed. It's sweeter. Like honey and apples. He frowns slightly and catches your smile in the reflection. Hums with question. You nod.

"What's that?"

"New".

To his right, Taehyung quietly gasps with pain. The new girl burned him with the curler. She starts apologizing profusely and Taehyung shakes his head, although still wincing. Yoongi returns to his haven of calm.

"When you go with your grin", you say, "turn like this", your hand moves his chin a little so that he sees the sharp, pearly line of highlighter on the edge of his jaw.

"Okay", he grins, "uh, what shade is it? Jimin's hair would go well with it, too".

You lift the small bottle to his eyes, and he reads: '78 deeply loved'.

"Only for you".

You boop it on his nose, and he is dumbfounded, transcended, dead. He sees himself looking like a hopeful pup, staring into your eyes. You look shy as you lick eye pencil. You blush for the first time.

#yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts imagine

381 notes · View notes

queersyourgender · 8 days ago

Note

Robby and Jack are quite tall, while reader is a lot smaller, which makes reader feel very safe and protected most of the time, but also playfully annoyed when they get teased about not being able to reach the dishes.

Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x GN!Reader x Jack Abbot — Height Difference

Notes: None! Just tooth-rotting shenanigans. Enjoy :)

———

Having not one but two partners who are much taller than you is, in your opinion, quite wonderful. The height difference meant that cuddling sessions either included you being completely enveloped in their gigantic embraces, or having your own arms completely full of people you loved.

On the other hand, it meant mortifying moments like these, where you find yourself caught out in the most awkward positions for your grown ass. “What in the hell are you doing?” Jack, who’s not supposed to be home yet, suddenly says from behind you, and you nearly take the entire cabinet door in your haste to grab something before you fall down.

Instead of stumbling, though, you instead very slowly turn to face him, a sheepish smile on your face as you stare down at his bewildered expression. “Hi,” you say innocently, like you’re not standing on top of the kitchen counter, holding a mountain of glass plates. “I’m… restacking the plates in order of biggest to smallest because it’s been bothering me.”

Jack blinks at you, the remnants of exhaustion from his night shift clinging to the edges of his shoulders dissipating and making way for trembling laughter. It doesn’t take him very long to break out into loud cackling, bending over and clutching his knees for stability as he laughs incredulously at the scene.

“What’s going on out here?” Robby’s sleepy voice joins the conversation as he walks down from your shared home’s hallway, smiling at the sight and sound of Jack’s laughter before directing his gaze to its cause. His eyes immediately widen as he jumps awake, moving closer to you with concern. “What in the hell are you doing?”

“That’s exactly what I said!” Jack wheezes, shaking his head and burying his face in his hands to hide how red it’s getting from his laughter. A quick glance at Robby’s baffled expression makes it so much worse, before he finally manages to get a grip and walk forward as well. “Baby, please come down before you hurt yourself.”

Your own face flushes with embarrassment and you elect to maturely respond to his amusement by sticking your tongue out at him and blowing a raspberry in his direction. “Laugh it up, you palm trees,” you hiss, though it lacks any actual heat, because Robby’s now started chuckling in disbelief as well. “Not everyone is fuckin’ nine-foot-something. I’m out here fighting wars just trying to organize our shit and you’re laughing at me.”

“Sweetheart, we’re not laughing at you,” Robby lies, blatantly at that, and the look on your face must tell him that you don’t believe him because he immediately backtracks. “Okay, we are, but you can’t see yourself right now. You’re adorable.”

Suddenly, the flash of a camera interrupts his compliment, and you make a horrified noise at the sight of Jack pocketing his cellphone. “You delete that!” You exclaim, absolutely mortified, but Jack just laughs and walks away further inside to get changed.

“Come and delete it yourself, shorty,” he teases, and it’s Robby’s turn to start cackling madly as he watches you scramble to set the plates down somewhere and chase after the other man.

#the pitt #michael robinavitch x reader x jack abbot #polyamory #the pitt x reader #michael robinavitch #jack abbot #x reader

176 notes · View notes

xichilie · 4 months ago

Note

IM SICK AND FEVERISH ABOUT BRANT HGAH

🍣 anon hath returned, the soulmate au was DELIGHTFUL. Thank you so so much!!

I WISH YOU LUCK IN PULLING. I had some absolutely wild luck, first ten pull on both his and his weapons banner. Insanity

ABSOLUTELY adored your most recent Brant post, but now I'm thinking about a stage kiss. For a performance, would he go full tilt, full contact and declare his love through the stage lines? Or would he slip his hand or a finger over your lips at the last second, promising it be only until he could kiss you properly?

Congratulations 🎊

Hello 🍣

I was pretty lucky, too. I got him and his weapon 🤭

Brant x (fem)reader

"The Kiss That Wasn’t"

Fool’s Elysium had never been so quiet.

The cavernous hideout, usually filled with raucous laughter and the chaotic energy of performers in motion, now held its breath. Firelight flickered against the worn wooden stage, casting golden shadows across two figures standing at its center.

Brant thrived under this kind of pressure. The hush of an audience hanging onto every breath, the delicate balance between performance and reality—it was a stage made for a man like him.

And yet, tonight, something was different.

Tonight, she was in front of him.

Y/N stood with squared shoulders, her expression unreadable despite the storm of emotion written into the script. One hand hovered near her chest, the other clenched at her side as though holding something back.

Brant had memorized every line, every cue, every carefully choreographed motion. He knew what came next. He was supposed to step forward, take her hand, and—

Kiss her.

It was the grand moment of the act, the culmination of rising tension. A declaration written in stage directions rather than words.

Brant had kissed plenty of co-stars before. He had swept them into dips, pressed lips together in the name of art, played the dashing rogue with effortless charm.

But now? With her?

A sharp breath left his lips as he moved closer. His fingers ghosted over Y/N’s wrist, sliding up, tracing a path toward her jaw. His touch was light, as if testing something—waiting for a sign that wasn’t scripted.

The audience waited.

She wasn’t backing away.

And for the first time in his life, Brant hesitated.

It was a second too long. A pause too loaded.

His heart hammered in his chest, drowning out the carefully rehearsed melody swelling beneath them. The firelight turned her eyes into molten gold, and for a wild, reckless moment, he wondered if this was what it felt like to be utterly and completely undone.

He could kiss her now. Let the world fade. Let the story carry them.

But no.

Not like this.

Just before their lips could meet, Brant raised his fingers, pressing them lightly against her mouth.

The air thickened. The unscripted choice turned the moment into something raw, something alive.

Y/N’s eyes widened slightly, the barest shift in her expression—surprise? Amusement? Understanding?

Brant let his lips part just enough to murmur, voice low, meant only for her.

"Not yet."

A promise.

A delay.

A declaration in disguise.

The music swelled. The moment passed. The play continued.

But for Brant, the real story had only just begun.

When the performance ended, the cavern erupted into cheers, the Troupe members whistling and clapping at the particularly intense scene. The excitement was palpable, voices chattering about the improvised moment that had made the scene so much more compelling.

But Brant?

Brant had vanished.

Y/N found him perched atop a stone ledge overlooking the main hall, one leg swinging lazily over the edge, the other propped up as he leaned back against the cavern wall. A half-empty bottle of wine rested beside him, likely stolen from the Troupe’s stash.

The moment he saw her approach, a slow grin stretched across his face.

"Ah, my lovely co-star,” he purred, extending his arms as if inviting an embrace. “Come to sing my praises? To tell me how utterly dazzling I was?"

Y/N crossed her arms.

"You changed the scene."

Brant gasped, a hand flying to his chest as if mortally wounded. "What? Me? Change the sacred text of our craft? I would never—"

"Brant."

The single utterance of his name made him drop the act—at least for a second. His grin, though still playful, softened at the edges.

He sighed dramatically, stretching his arms over his head before flopping onto his back. "Alright, fine. You caught me." He turned his head to look at her. "But it was better that way, wasn't it?"

Y/N didn't answer immediately.

Brant watched her carefully, studying the way she weighed her response.

And then, she smirked.

Oh.

Oh, that was dangerous.

Brant felt something twist in his chest, something warm, something thrillingly out of his control.

"You’re impossible," she finally said.

"And yet, here you are," he countered, grinning. "Curious, that."

She turned as if to leave

And Brant, ever the opportunist, reached out, catching her wrist.

He didn’t pull her back. Didn’t force the moment.

He simply held her there, thumb brushing absentmindedly over her pulse point.

When she turned to face him again, there was no teasing in his expression.

No theatrics.

No performance.

Just Brant.

"I meant it, you know," he murmured.

Y/N’s breath caught. "Meant what?"

Brant lifted his free hand, brushing his fingers—just briefly—over her lips, echoing the gesture from the stage.

"Not yet," he whispered.

Not under the stage lights.

Not with an audience watching.

Not as a performance.

But one day. One day.

And then, because he couldn’t help himself, he winked—

And slipped away into the shadows, laughter trailing behind him like a final bow.

Leaving Y/N standing there, heart pounding, wondering just who had truly won this round.

The script remained unchanged.

The lines untouched.

But when the moment came—when Brant once again traced his fingers toward Y/N’s lips, when he prepared to repeat his “not yet”—

She caught his wrist first.

Brant froze.

His usual confidence faltered for the briefest second, his pulse skipping as he stared at her in surprise.

Her fingers curled gently around his wrist, holding him there.

And then—she smirked.

Brant barely had time to react before she leaned in, just close enough for her lips to brush the tips of his fingers.

“Not yet.”

She whispered it so softly that only he could hear.

The audience never knew why Brant’s next line came a second too late.

But he did.

And for the first time in his life, Brant found himself utterly, completely smitten.

#wuwa brant #brant wuwa #brant x reader #wuthering waves brant #brant #wuthering waves #x reader #oc x character #x y/n #x you #wuthering waves x reader #brant wuthering waves #cute

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ourdawnishotterthanourday · 5 months ago

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Rose Tinted — Boo Seungkwan

✧ Take off those rose colored glasses ✧

Plot: Picture this… you find out that your so-called best friend has been playing you all along.

🎥 Starring: fem!reader x best friend!Boo Seungkwan 🎥 Genre: big time angst 🎥 Word count: 0.9k+ 🎥 Warnings: swearing, asshole vernon, asshole kwannie (sorry y’all), brief mention of blood but not graphic 🎥 Notes: I am baaaack (hopefully for a while). I know I haven’t been posting for forever but I hope to see you all more often again ^^ 🎥 Shout out: thanks to my lovely bestie @nothoughtsjustfic for motivating me to write again 💜 love you Chee! Never change pls hehehe

♡ REBLOGGING AND/OR FEEDBACK WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED — DON'T BE A STRANGER PLS ♡

Set The Scene Masterlist — Masterlist

“How much longer are you going to keep this up, dude? She’s been glued to your side since that dumb bet. Weren’t you gonna ditch her like forever ago?”

Time froze as you heard Vernon utter those words to your best friend… or so you thought.

“Shit, Vernon! Be quiet before she hears you!” Seungkwan hissed in return, which was followed by a dull sound and then a shriek from Vernon.

“Whatever. I just don’t get it. You don’t even like her. She could offer to buy me unlimited pizza and beers and I still wouldn’t be able to handle all that clinginess.”

“Fucking hell! Just get out and don’t come back until we leave. You’re going to fuck up everything,” Seungkwan snapped, his voice unlike anything you’d ever heard coming from his lips.

“Fine.” Vernon sighed dramatically. “But don’t come crying to me when it all comes to bite you in the ass.”

A second later, you heard the front door slam shut, the sound of which snapped you right back to the horrible reality you were now forced to face.

You’d just been shown a completely different side of your supposed best friend and you didn’t quite know whether to cry or scream. What you did know was that you couldn’t stay hidden behind the wall for forever, even though that did seem awfully tempting. You’d never been very confrontational but this matter couldn’t be left unspoken, not if you wanted to keep your sanity.

You needed to hear the truth from Seungkwan himself.

With your heart nearly pounding out your chest and a million thoughts running through your mind, you forced your legs to move in the direction of the living room where Seungkwan was awaiting your return.

His head immediately shot up when he noticed you approaching him, a smile that felt just a little too forced making its way on his face. It was almost as if you could see a sliver of disgust flash behind his eyes.

Had that always been there or were you just overanalyzing everything because of what Vernon said?

“There you are! Any longer and I would have gotten worried.” Seungkwan chuckled as he turned his head back towards the TV.

Right. The movie the two of you had been watching before that awful conversation. If only you could turn back time.

“Y/N?” Seungkwan asked with a raised brow when you hadn’t moved at all. “Aren’t you going to sit down? We can finish the last thirty minutes before we have to leave.”

“No.”

Your voice was barely audible but you knew that it had been loud enough judging by the way Seungkwan responded.

“No? You don’t want to watch any more? Well, we can put on something else if that’s what you wan-”

You were quick to interrupt him. “No. That’s not what I want.”

“Okay?” He got up from the couch, his brows furrowed in confusion. “You’re acting kinda strange, Y/N. What’s going on?”

Without realizing it, you’d been clenching your fists so hard this entire time that your nails had pierced through parts of your skin, drawing a little bit of blood which you could feel dripping down your fingers. But you honestly couldn’t give a fuck right now.

“Do you hate me?” you blurted out, completely catching the man in front of you off guard.

“W-what? Hate you? Why would you ask me that?” Seungkwan chuckled nervously, his hand awkwardly coming up to scratch behind his neck.

“Be honest with me, Seungkwan.” You looked him dead in the eyes, noticing the way his eyes grew wide at the fierceness behind your words.

As if suddenly coming back to himself, he shook his head furiously. “You’re being crazy, Y/N.”

You let out a loud snort. “Me? Crazy? Then are you saying Vernon was lying just now?”

At that revelation, Seungkwan’s mouth opened and closed a few times as if he was about to say something but backed out at the last second. There was no talking himself out of this. And you were not backing down until you’d heard everything, even if it was going to crush you.

“Yeah… I heard everything. About a supposed bet, about you pretending this entire time and wanting to ditch me. Does that ring a bell?”

“Y/N, l-listen,” the man pleaded as he took a step forward to reach for your arm.

“Tell me the fucking truth, Seungkwan!” you nearly screamed, surprising both yourself and him at the anger laced in your voice.

You could see the hesitation in his eyes at first, but it wasn’t long before that disgust you swore you’d seen before flashed behind his eyes once again.

“You really wanna know what I think of you? Fine!” He threw up his hands. “I don’t like you, I never have, not then and not now. I’m not your fucking best friend and I’m sick of pretending. You’re right. It started out as a stupid bet to see if I could befriend you, but with how fucking desperate you were, that wasn’t hard. And then you just wouldn’t fucking go away so I thought, I might as well use your clingy ass to my advantage. Because who in their right mind doesn’t like free meals and free rides? All I had to do was pretend.” He chuckled bitterly. “Happy now?”

You didn’t stick around to respond, already halfway through the door with tears streaming down your face by the time he finished his cruel rant. This wasn’t the sweet and caring Seungkwan you’d been sharing all your secrets and insecurities with. This was the real Seungkwan, a mean, heartless excuse of a human being who you didn’t recognize at all.

He’d broken your heart in a million little pieces and you didn’t know if you were ever going to recover from this.

So much for letting someone in.

So much for not wanting to be alone.

Boo Seungkwan, I hope it was worth it.

🎥 Join the Set The Scene taglist: @wonuilu @choco-scoups

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#STS with CheeJi #svthub #thediamondlifenetwork #seventeen angst #svt angst #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seungkwan x reader #boo seungkwan x reader #k-vanity #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fics #seventeen imagines #svt au #seventeen #seungkwan imagines #boo seungkwan #svt seungkwan #fic: rose tinted

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khloberry · 6 months ago

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❝ It was supposed to be just a girls weekend in Vegas, but a chance encounter with a handsome stranger takes things in a different direction. . . ❞

What Happens in Vegas

Nicholas Chavez x Reader | 18+

Hi guys! This is the first fic I’ve ever posted. I’ve always loved to write & every so often I fall back into the writing mood. This was one of those moods, inspired by one of my favorite songs and Nicholas of course, because obsessed obvi lol. It’s a little long, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing!

“We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don’t. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don’t!” I shouted cheerfully, raising my shot glass to my three friends. I quickly knocked back the tequila, the familiar burning sensation warming my chest.

This was just the first shot of many. Tonight was all about having fun and feeling free. It was my best friend’s 21st birthday, and to celebrate, we were in Vegas for the weekend.

“Tonight’s gonna be a good night!” One of my friends exclaimed, her eyes bright with excitement as she scanned the nightclub from her seat. The scene was a frenzy of flashing lights, dancing, and drinking.

“The best night,” said my best friend.

“Fucking epic,” I added, taking back another shot before standing to my feet.

“Come on, birthday girl, let’s dance.” I grabbed her hand, leading her out into the energetic crowd.

The moment we hit the dance floor, the music and energy gave me a rush. If dance was a drug, music was the supplier. I loved how it made me feel. How it made me come alive. I danced to song after song, losing myself completely in the music.

I could’ve stayed on the dance floor for hours, but the slight ache that was forming in my heeled feet told me to take a break. I stopped by the bar for a mixed drink before heading back to the VIP section.

As I sat and sipped my drink, I looked around the club. My eyes glanced over to the adjacent section, where a group of guys and some girls filled the space. There was drunk banter and laughter going between some of the guys, some of the girls were dancing and taking pictures, and then, there was one guy looking out into the crowd.

I watched him as he watched the crowd. I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him. Perhaps it was the way the low lighting cast an alluring shadow over him, or maybe it was the quiet intensity of his focus, but there was something about him that I couldn’t look away from. It was almost like a magnet pulling me in. I eyed the outline of his facial features, my eyes drawn to his strong jawline. His profile was attractive, and I found myself stuck, gazing for a bit too long and a bit too intently.

Suddenly, he turned his head, glancing in my direction. His eyes met mine, and for a moment, it was like everything in the room stopped. I felt a flutter in my stomach. I wanted to look away and pretend that I hadn’t just been caught staring, but there was something so intriguing about him that kept me stuck.

His eyes slowly glanced over me, a smile spreading across his lips. I watched as he rose from his seat. My eyes followed his movements, taking notice that he was headed in my direction, moving closer and closer until he was standing in front of me.

“I’m Nicholas.” He introduced himself with a smile. The sound of his voice was smooth and deep, immediately pulling me in.

I smiled back, offering my name in return.

“Nice to meet you. Would you mind if I joined you?”

I patted the space next to me. “Sure, Nicholas.”

He chuckled as he sat down beside me, the scent of his cologne enveloping me like a warm hug.

God, he smelled good.

I took in the handsome stranger next to me as I continued sipping my drink. He looked good from afar, but now as he sat beside me, I saw how attractive he really was. My eyes traveled upward from the dark pants he wore to the light shirt that was unbuttoned at the collar. The glint of the gold chain he wore caught my eye and his strong neck. He had a charming smile and alluring brown eyes. His presence was attractive, intriguing.

He noticed me staring again and smirked. His eyes held a hint of amusement. “Like what you see?”

I took another sip from my drink before answering, a smile teasing my lips.

There would be no denying it. “I do.”

“Good,” Nicholas leaned in a bit closer and spoke low against my ear. “Because I like what I see too.”

My body suddenly felt warm, and I had a feeling it wasn’t just because of the tequila. I bit my lip, and at the action, his eyes fell to them. He didn’t try to hide that he was looking. His gaze made my insides clench.

No, it definitely wasn’t just the tequila.

“So what brings you out tonight? Are you from here?” I asked, trying to shift from the sudden way he was making me feel.

“No, I live in LA. I’m just here with my guys for the weekend.”

“Same,” I smiled. “It’s my best friend’s birthday,” I looked out into the crowd. “My girls are out there somewhere dancing the night away.”

“And you’re sitting here with me,” he teased.

“I was minding my business. You decided to sit down.”

He chuckled. “No, you were staring, actually.” He moved a bit closer. “Tell me I’m lying?”

And there it was again—that flutter in my stomach.

For two strangers, the chemistry between Nicholas and I was strong and hard to ignore. Everything else seemed to fade away as we sat together completely immersed in each other. I didn’t know how much time had passed, but I felt like I could talk to Nicholas forever. He was charming and witty, and he had a quiet confidence that I found so very attractive. It surprised me how comfortable I felt with him and how effortless the conversation flowed. Talking to Nicholas felt natural, easy. It was as if this wasn’t the first encounter and we’d known each other all along.

“No way!” I threw my head back in laughter at the wild story Nicholas had just shared with me. “He was really naked?”

“Bro was ass naked running down the strip,” he laughed.

I shook my head in amusement. “Vegas is a wild place.”

“You’re beautiful, you know.” Nicholas said suddenly.

I blushed. I wasn’t someone who became easily flustered, but he had me feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush. I was just about to tell him that when I heard the sound of my friends approaching voices. I looked towards them as they came into the section with curious looks on their faces.

“There you are,” my best friend began. “I was starting to think you got lost on your way back to the dance floor.”

“I’m so sorry. I guess I just lost track of the time.”

My friends glanced at Nicholas, giving me a knowing look. My best friend mouthed ‘fuck’ and I held back a laugh.

Nicholas offered them a polite smile before standing. “Let me let you get back to your night. I wouldn’t mind talking to you again if that’s cool?” he asked, his eyes hopeful.

I put my hand out and he placed his phone in my palm. We exchanged another smile as I added my number.

“Enjoy the rest of your night ladies and happy birthday,” he told my best friend before turning to leave.

She thanked him and after he walked away she turned to me. All three of my friends spoke at once.

“Oh my god!”

“He’s fucking hot!”

“Who the fuck was that!?”

They all wanted to know who was the handsome guy who had stolen my attention. I knew that I just met him, but there was no denying the connection.

The rest of the night continued on with unending fun. By the time I got back to the hotel, I was floating somewhere between tipsy and drunk. My best friend’s birthday was epic so far. It was always the best time with my girls.

And then there was Nicholas, who still lingered in my mind. I never felt so strongly connected to someone that I didn’t even know. The thought of him made me feel butterflies.

I was showered and lying lazily across my hotel bed, scrolling through my phone when an unfamiliar number appeared across the top. The sight of it made my heart skip a beat in expectancy. I answered the call and his smooth voice filled my ear.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“Missing me already, huh?” I teased.

Nicholas chuckled. “What can I say… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“Oh yeah? Thinking about what?”

“That I would really like to see you again.”

I smiled at my phone. “Tonight?”

“If you’re up for it.”

I contemplated his invitation. Sure, the rational part of me knew that going to meet up with a guy I just met tonight was going against my better judgement. But mix tequila with the thought of being with a hot guy like him and what was good judgement?

We only live once, right?

Soon enough, I was making my way across the indoor bridge that connected our respective hotels and found Nicholas waiting for me. He looked even better than I remembered. His scent was still intoxicating as he pulled me into a hug.

“Promise me you’re not crazy and my night isn’t about to play out like an episode of American Horror Story.”

He laughed, placing a small, reassuring kiss to the top of my head. “I promise.”

The ride on the elevator seemed to go on forever as it made its way up to the top floor of The Aria, where Nicholas was staying in the Sky Villas. My heart thumped in anticipation as we headed down the hallway towards his hotel suite. The sound of the door unlocking only heightened my anticipation.

We entered the room, the door barely closing before his body was pressed against mine, capturing my lips in a kiss that left me breathless.

“Damn…” I said as I caught my breath. “Offer a girl a drink first, Nicholas.”

“Shit, I’m sor—”

I cut him off with another kiss. “Fuck manners.”

My hands gripped his shirt, pulling him closer into the kiss. There was a hunger in the way I explored his mouth with my tongue. Feeling emboldened as I kissed him, I walked him backwards to the couch that was centered before a large window overlooking the Las Vegas Strip. The night sky enhanced the mood of the room, adding to the intensity that was building between us.

I shoved Nicholas down onto the couch and climbed on his lap. My lips eagerly met his again in a heated kiss. I wanted him and he wanted me just as badly. He slid a finger under the strap of my sundress, and then the other, sliding it down, the fabric falling to my waist. He groaned with appreciation as he eyed my bare breasts and reached to cup them.

Leaning forward, he buried his face in my neck and kissed it slowly. “Damn, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He moved down to my collar bone, trailing kisses along it. Every part of my body was on fire and continued to rise as he moved down to my breasts. I moaned as his mouth closed around my nipple and started a slow, gentle sucking. The sensation sent another heatwave throughout my body.

Nicholas gripped my hips and pulled me fully down against him. I could feel how hard he was underneath me, and I bit my lip as I began to slowly grind on his lap. His hands moved from my hips to my ass and squeezed it as he groaned into my ear. The pressure was building inside me with each roll of my hips. I wanted to fuck him so bad.

As his groans and my soft moans filled the room, a bright light suddenly appeared. The familiar upbeat iPhone melody sounded as his phone went off beside us. Instinctively, my eyes fell on the incoming call, and even in my drunken and lust filled haze, I saw very clearly, the picture of a female on the screen and one unmistakable word—baby.

“Shit,” Nicholas let out a frustrated sigh and quickly grabbed his phone, pressing the side button to silence it. The now silent phone mirrored the silence in the room.

“Um,” I cleared my throat. “I think I should go.” I pulled up my dress and stood up quickly. A little too quickly because I felt my head spin, and I raised my hand to my forehead to quell the sudden dizziness.

Nicholas reached out to grab my arm and his eyes seemed to ask what his voice couldn’t say right now.

No, I wasn’t okay.

Reflexively, I snatched my arm away as the reality of what just happened came crashing down. I looked at him and then left without another word. The feeling of disbelief, disappointment, and stupidity all hitting me at once.

The rest of the day went on with me trying my hardest not to think about what happened with Nicholas. He called and sent a text asking to talk, but they both went ignored. As disappointing as it was, I told myself that we were nothing more than just two strangers who met and had a moment.

It didn’t matter.

He didn’t matter.

I pushed away thoughts of him and focused on the rest of my weekend, choosing to not let what happened ruin what was left of Vegas. I was here to have fun with my girls and that’s exactly what I was going to do.

By nightfall, the pool party we were at was in full effect. The large pool was centered on the rooftop of the energetic nightclub surrounded by cabanas and neon lights. The night sky cast an illuminating glow against the water, making the night feel magical. Music thumped, alcohol flowed, and water splashed around as everyone engaged in fun.

“Hey, isn’t that your guy over there?” my friend asked suddenly and pointed in the direction of a group of guys nearby in the pool.

It didn’t take long for me to spot Nicholas, and as fate would have it, he spotted me at the same time. I rolled my eyes and looked away quickly, hoping he hadn’t seen me but knowing that he had. Soon enough, he was making his way through the pool over to me. When he reached me, I made sure my back was to him. He placed his hand on my shoulder before he spoke.

“Hey.”

“Are you stalking me now or something?” I turned to face him, immediately irritated at how good he looked shirtless.

He didn’t respond to that. Instead, his eyes looked apologetic as he told me. “I tried calling you.”

“I know, Nicholas. I didn’t want to talk. Still don’t.”

“But I do, if you would just let me explain.”

“Explain what? The fact that you conveniently forgot to mention you had a girlfriend.”

“I know and I’m sorry. It’s just—” he sighed. “It’s complicated. Things haven’t been good with us for a while now. I don’t even think we’re going to be together much longer.”

I looked at him incredulously. “So, what, things aren’t good with your girlfriend so you hook up with me? I was supposed to be what… your Vegas fling? Your little ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’?”

“No, it wasn’t like that. It’s not like that.” he sighed and ran a hand over his face. “If we could just go somewhere and talk. Please?”

“What more is there to talk about?”

“Everything,” he took a step forward. “Just tell me…tell me you didn’t feel something. Tell me you didn’t and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Nicholas, I—”

He moved in closer, his eyes locked on mine now. “I know you felt it.”

Everything in me wanted to step back as he inched closer. So dangerously close. I knew it was coming. I could see it in the way he looked at me. I could feel it in the way my breath hitched. I wanted to move, but I couldn’t. I wanted to push him away, but I didn’t. And when he leaned in and kissed me, I let him.

Before I could even process what I was doing, I was kissing him back. I wanted to curse myself. It was everything I shouldn’t have wanted but couldn’t resist. When we finally pulled away, I was sure that the lust in his eyes mirrored my own.

“Come on.” I grabbed his hand and enclosed it with mine.

It was now or never. I knew if I allowed myself another moments thought, I would come to my senses and tell Nicholas to go away, or better yet, go to hell. And maybe I should’ve, but my body was yearning for him in a way I didn’t even understand. It was like a fire had been lit that only he could put out.

We reached the hotel room and just like the night before, we wasted no time getting lost in each other again. He kissed me deeply like he wanted to savor the moment. Like it was nothing else he would rather be doing. I searched his eyes for anything that said this was a mistake, but all I saw was a man who knew what he wanted. And it was this moment with me.

Right here.

Right now.

But as much as I wanted it, I couldn’t help but question what we were doing. Did I really want to be that kind of girl?

“I feel like this is so wrong, but I don’t think I can stop.” I told him through kisses.

“Then don’t,” he said roughly and kissed me in a way that told me he damn sure had no intention to stop.

I wanted him to continue. I wanted him to stop. It felt wrong. It felt so right. I was a whirl of conflicting emotions. But as I felt his fingers move along my inner thigh, inching closer and closer until they were touching my throbbing clit, I knew I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.

Nicholas slid my swimsuit bottoms off and parted my thighs, taking a pause to glance down at the sight of my glistening pussy. He slid his fingers up and down my wet folds before bringing them up to his mouth.

“So fucking wet,” he tasted. “So fucking sweet.”

He positioned himself between my legs and leaned down to kiss me again before he slid inside me. My walls instantly closed around him like a warm hug. The feel of him was too good for words. So full. So hard. So perfect.

“Fuck…” he groaned, picking up the pace. “You feel so good, baby.”

From the sound of his voice to the way he filled me so perfectly and hit all the right places in all the right ways, the pressure inside me was steadily building.

“Mmm…yes…right there,” I moaned in complete and utter bliss. My sounds of pleasure seemed to be his undoing because soon he was going a bit faster and harder. It was pleasingly rough. It was fucking amazing.

Nicholas gripped my thighs and pushed them back towards my chest. The position had me completely open and submissive, and left nothing for me to do but take it. And he gave it to me. Relentlessly. My moans got louder as I felt him even deeper now. So deep that I felt like I was seeing stars every time he hit that sweet spot within.

It made an ocean of me.

I ascended higher and higher, each stroke taking me to a place of euphoria I had never reached before. It felt almost sinful.

Was sex supposed to be this good?

I didn’t think I could reach higher heights, but then, in a rough voice, Nicholas told me to “turn over.”

I positioned myself on all fours and he knelt behind me, his hands gripping my ass and spreading it. I felt a wet sensation as his spit dripped down into my hole and his thumb began to rub teasing circles around it. It was enough to make me come undone.

But he wasn’t finished with me yet.

He lowered his mouth to my pussy, making me gasp. His mouth was hot and wet as his tongue skillfully licked and consumed me from behind. It felt so good. Better than anything I could have imagined. The sensation was overwhelming. I was on the verge of exploding. Then his mouth closed around my clit and started a slow sucking.

Tick.

Boom.

Like a bomb went off inside me.

I barely caught my breath, pussy still pulsing and legs shaking, before Nicholas slid his entire length inside me in one smooth thrust. My eyes fluttered shut and I saw stars again as I ascended to another galaxy.

“You still with me, beautiful?” he smirked. He knew he had me right where he wanted. Unable to even speak, I made a small whimpering sound as he began a slow rhythm before picking up the pace.

“I’m gonna make you cum again, okay?” It wasn’t a question but rather a promise that he was about to fulfill. He gripped my hips and gave me long, hard strokes, igniting the fire in my core again.

“Oh my god…I’m so close,” I cried out. I could tell that he was getting closer too because his strokes were coming faster, harder. I felt the sweat drip off him as he drilled me from behind.

He gripped my hair and pushed my head down into the bed. My back arched higher as he hit that sweet spot repeatedly. My hand clenched the sheets as I felt the fire inside reaching its peak and I exploded again. He was right behind me, pulling out just in time to coat my back with his release.

We collapsed together on the bed, our chests heaving in and out as we found our breaths. I turned over on my side and looked at the man who had just fucked me so good I almost couldn’t believe it.

“What the fuck?” I said with a small laugh. “You’re way too good at that.”

“I am, huh?”

I nudged him with my elbow. Shut up.”

He laughed and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Best night ever, beautiful.”

And it was.

I had the best sex of my life, but it didn’t happen at all like I ever would have planned. There was the girlfriend he neglected to tell me about. Then, the cheating that I helped him do. None of it was right, but yet being with him felt right. How could something wrong feel so very right?

As I thought about Nicholas and our weekend in Vegas, meeting him wasn’t something I expected, but it was something I would never forget. I didn’t know what would come of it, if anything would at all. Was this weekend just a chance encounter, or was it a chance at something more? I didn’t know. The only thing that I was certain of was that no matter what happened, we would always have Vegas.

#nicholas alexander chavez #nicholas chavez #nicholas chavez x reader #nicholas chavez x fem!reader #smut #nicholas chavez x smut #nicholas chavez fic #fanfic

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zynxsone · 2 months ago

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Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans. A review and why it's an abomination to the series and why it has a low rating.

I don’t know why I just decided to write a review now but I still am doing it. Original review is a tad bit long so I shortened it.

First of all, I would gladly say that Trollhunters, 3Below, and Wizards have been an amazing part of my childhood. I started watching the show in 2016 and I absolutely loved it. It excited me that 3Below had come after, along with Wizards in the making. When I heard that there will be a movie to complete the series, I was excited! — only to be disappointed in the outcome.

While I loved certain parts of the movie, everything else was badly written and executed.

Now, let’s talk about Aja. She was so out of character in the movie, as if she was a totally different person; she would never leave anyone in danger even if she did not know them, especially Claire who is a friend. Aja may be Queen now, but she is no coward and definitely no jerk.

“Jim, it’s too late, the bridge is about to fall!” Hello? Didn’t she basically try to use her own life core after finding out that Morando had just destroyed half of Arcadia and that it was too late? She would not choose running away as an option, never. She is a warrior.

Eli's appearance was not needed. But I still love him regardless. Though, he did not play a huge part but was used as an emotional anchor for Steve, basically. He doesn't do much in the movie, he didn't even do anything at all. Even if he doesn't appear in it—everything would still be the same since the Robot-Titan he designed was going to be helmed by Varvatos.

The inclusion of the Mpreg subplot felt completely unnecessary. It’s unclear whether it was meant for comedic appeal or simply to put reason to Krel’s dislike to romance. But either way, it added nothing meaningful to the story. It wasn’t even a central detail, and its impact was negligible. Additionally, Aja and Steve's complete lack of concern for their newly born children—who essentially is about to vanish when Jim chose to go back in time—was baffling and emotionally hollow. Their reaction (or lack thereof) undermined any emotional weight the scene could have had. His pregnancy had literally more attention than the building up of the characters and the plot.

Steve had potential to be used in the movie, a more heroic part. But the writers decided to shove him off and be a forced inclusion and it was disturbing to see. But at least it made a number of people laugh. We could have had a scene where the concept of Creepslayerz is back, but NO!!! We get teenage Male pregnancy instead, a detailed one.

Krel has done nothing in the movie but be useless [my poor boy]. All they did to him was write him as a jailbreaker, we didn't even get to see how they got Excalibur. We're supposed to SEE what they did,

I found this movie deeply disappointing, especially since it wasn’t directed by Guillermo del Toro, the one who started it all.

And the part where they were trying to find the Order— when Douxie's soul got reverted back to his own body, Claire tells Krel that "I can just lock on a Nari and portal us there." Then why didn't you do so to track down Douxie's soul earlier when he was mistaken for Nari at the moment? 😭

So many of the deaths felt unnecessary—especially Nomura’s. Killing off such an important figure in Jim’s life without any real weight or closure was incredibly frustrating. And Strickler’s death? That, too, lacked the emotional depth it deserved. If the writers were aiming for an impactful character death, it would have made more sense to choose Blinky—Jim’s mentor and father figure—whose loss would have carried a much deeper emotional resonance. Draal’s sacrifice worked because it was meaningful and justified within the story. In contrast, Nomura’s death felt careless and hollow. It was as if she were treated like a disposable side character, despite having a significant connection to Jim—especially during his time in the Darklands where they started to have a platonic connection. Her bond with him mattered, and the way her story ended just didn’t reflect that.

Back to Strickler’s part, he really died for nothing. His sacrifice had no use since Skrael’s titan was indestructible by just using some few pieces of bomb. They should have known that bombs will do nothing as the titans–they're made of magic. Him choosing to sacrifice himself was not a bad choice, he would do anything to protect Barbara and now Jim, but it was done unprofessionally.

The mention of Jim’s father after his sacrifice was so random while at that, it was absurd. Jim doesn't care about his father so why does he now? He said it himself, "You know I don't care about my father." To Blinky. I know that this is fan service but we know absolutely NOTHING about his father other than he is a cheater and is probably friends with Steve's father as they both do skiing.

SO many sacrifices, yet none even have the significance they deserve and the writer just shrug it off because hey time is important

Oh, and by the way,

And let’s not forget one of the biggest plot holes: they literally created a fusion of Akiridion tech and magic that could block out magic itself—and no one thought to use it against the Titans? Seriously? Only Toby remembered the artifact, but by that point, they were all on the verge of death. That kind of oversight just makes the characters look incompetent and undermines the stakes entirely. This is bad writing. Like yes, characters can forget their own creations. But this one? The one they made specifically for the Arcane order? The one that removes their magic?? Stop.

There are so MANY plot holes in just one movie, it’s hard to process.

Also, why is Jim suddenly using a serrator—a weapon he’s never used before to fight a demigod made of fire? They could have at least shown that he struggled to use something he has never wielded before.

Seriously, WHO wrote Jim in this movie? Because I have a gift for you, and it’s ticking. Jim was completely useless in this film. He’s already accepted that he is the Trollhunter—”amulet or not.” So why are we revisiting this question? Yes, the amulet’s rebuild was a nice touch, but Jim constantly went back and forth about whether he’s still the Trollhunter, quoting "but without the amulet am I still the troll hunter?” just feels unnecessary and repetitive. It undermines the growth his character went through, turning him into someone who can’t seem to accept his role despite everything he’s been through. Yes, him being anxious and questioning is his character, but we have already gone through this before. His personality has been completely altered—Almost everyone included!

I liked the jailbreak scene. It made me laugh and smile to see Lucy and Ricky playing a part. [I’m so sorry but Eli absolutely had no point in showing up. He only came back as Steve’s midwife.]

Nari and Skrael’s fight lacked depth. There was barely any meaningful interaction between them beforehand to establish why their confrontation mattered beyond the surface-level conflict—Skrael’s desire to reshape the world versus Nari’s choice to protect her friends. That alone doesn’t justify the importance of their battle. The emotional stakes were weak because their relationship wasn’t explored. On top of that, so many character dynamics were either ignored or rewritten entirely, stripping away their importance to the story and one another.

And how did the heartstone suddenly come back to life? The trolls, Jim, and Claire left because they were on a quest to find a new heartstone where the trolls can live. Why did it randomly come back to life after the Titans woke up. Doesn't make sense.

But I will say that the movie did have great action scenes. But there was no teamwork when fighting Bellroc, everyone was set aside as a decoy.

Jim going back in time was my last straw. He knowingly risked everything—his loved ones, the balance of the world—just to make that speech and undo everything that had happened. He was fully aware that tampering with the past could lead to even greater danger, yet he still made that reckless choice. It undermines the growth he went through and paints him as someone willing to gamble with countless lives, including those he claimed to protect. That moment didn’t feel like a heroic sacrifice—it’s a careless, desperate rewrite.

Toby’s death was well earned, It was a heroic act.

Having Toby become the new Trollhunter is a rushed decision that obviously showed that they had no intention of continuing the franchise. Throughout the series, it was emphasized—both through dialogue and major plot points—that Jim was the Trollhunter and that it was his destiny. There was even an entire episode centered around the idea that if anyone else wielded the amulet, the world would fall into chaos. Didn’t Merlin himself say that “My Amulet does not make mistakes.” and out of every creature he can choose, it was Jim. So why are we forcing Toby to wield daylight. This is very ridiculous.

The amulet chose Jim for a reason. By suddenly passing it on to Toby, the narrative undermines its own message—especially the core theme that “Destiny is a gift.” If it was never truly Jim’s destiny, then what was the point of all his struggles and sacrifices?

Nari was a good inclusion since she plays a big part in the movie and the entire series, but I feel like Douxie was the only well written character throughout the entire movie, but he still has flaws just like every other major character that appears in this movie. Though, he wasn’t really important in the movie. He was more of a sideline.

The two pages of a book being stuck by a sticky food was the dumbest decision to build up climax. Blinky is not that stupid to not notice that two pages are glued to each other, if so, the pages would be bulky.

Also, WHAT happened to the thousands of foster children of Barbara and Strickler? The last we've seen of them was in 3Below's "Mother's day" episode. Why is Barbara and Strickler on Camelot??? I am very worried

It would have made for a more decent ending if they had allowed Toby to die entirely. While it’s harsh to say, it would have added importance to the story and given Jim a much-needed emotional arc. Jim could have been forced to confront the harsh reality that he can’t save everyone, no matter how much he tries. Instead, he passes his so-called destiny to his friend, the one who he went back in time to, knowing all the huge responsibilities, hardships and death-experiencing moments he had that would now be Toby’s future. Why would he ever want this to his friend that just died a moment ago? This is so stupid, then he goes off chasing after Claire while completely aware of what Toby will go through.

Toby wouldn’t even survive Bular in the canals. Because as it was stated, Jim only did thanks to his chef skills. Not to be offensive, Toby was in a bad shape at the beginning of the show [not that there’s anything wrong with that of course.] The writers are PRETENDING, gaslighting themselves that Toby will be exactly how Jim came to be the trollhunter. Toby has his own skills and fighting style, but he is not made to wield daylight. It completely invalidates his character and abilities as a person.

And one of the reasons how Jim was able to defeat Gunmar was because he had to SACRIFICE himself to transform into a half troll. Toby will most likely will get himself killed trying to defeat Gunmar and so will Jim, probably. Unless he has the ability to while being human. The world is screwed.

The ninth configuration scene was so ass, that's all I can say about it.

If Jim had to choose a moment to go back to, it would have made sense for him to pick the point just before the fight with Bellroc and Skrael on the train. With the knowledge he gained from experiencing the entire battle, he could have easily defeated them, avoiding the entire mess that followed. [He can actually choose a time to go back to, by the way.] This decision also seems selfish as his choice.

Honestly, they could have defeated Bellroc without having to use the new amulet if they just remembered to use the trifurcate blaster [magic blocker].

The only good parts in this movie was the animation, cinematography, and the visuals.

The only reason I’m giving this review two stars is because of Bellroc. Their portrayal in the movie was genuinely compelling, especially the scene where they try to manipulate Jim into abandoning the fight and fleeing to his friends—just to make it easier to seize the Heartstone. [Also a self-indulgent reason because they’ve become my favorite character.]

This was a terrible way to end the series—terribly written, atrocious even, and incredibly rushed. Even fanfictions written by 13-year-old fans have more cohesive plots than this. It’s disappointing to see a story with so much potential collapse like this. It reminded me of how I felt about How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World's ending—but at least that had meaning and had a reason WHY. Rise of the Titans doesn’t even offer that. [And ironically, both stories are canonically set in the same universe] which just makes the contrast more frustrating. It’s like Spider-Man no way home had a cheap copy of an ending. This movie was a mistake.

The ending is what makes you say: “why?”

I recommend stopping at Wizards and imagine your own ending on how they’ve come to save the world.

#i was originally going to post this as a review for the movie on google but I realized that it had a word limit so im just gnna post it here #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #3below #wizards #jim lake junior #claire nuñez #douxie #douxie casperan #toby domzalski #nari of the eternal forest #bellroc #bellroc keeper of the flame #skrael of the northwind #skrael #steve palchuk #aja tarron #krel tarron #eli pepperjack

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tikosblogg · 11 months ago

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Okay but like….Best friend Noah, becoming all possessive over you, when a random dude stares at you a little too hard 😩❤️

Part Two Here

I was sat up on the kitchen counter, resting my head against the cabinets behind me, tucked into the corner. Noah stood to the side of me, leaning back against the counter top as a handful of friends stood in a relaxed half-circle around us, talking and sharing jokes. It felt intimate and safe, a little bubble of joy amidst the crowd of twirling bodies and laughter drifting through the open windows.

Jesse, with his animated expressions and hand gestures, had snagged everyone's attention with a story from an old touring mishap—something about a raccoon and a dumpster fire.

A gaze was fixed on me, unsettling in its intensity. At first, I glanced around, thinking it was just my imagination, but a quick sweep of the room brought my eyes to a guy I barely knew, standing awkwardly at the edge of the group. His attention was locked on my thighs, an unsettling hunger in his gaze, and my heart thudded with discomfort. I instinctively glanced down and realized my dress had ridden up more than I intended, revealing more skin than it was supposed to.

While keeping my composure, I shifted to adjust the fabric, tugging it down, but my mind began racing. Jesse’s story faded into a murmur as the weight of that stare pressed down on me. My pulse quickened, and in a moment of anxious fidgeting, I considered climbing off the counter entirely, but I didn't want to cause a scene or draw more attention.

I looked over to Noah to give some lame made up excuse to leave the group, until my words died in my throat. I noticed his eyes set in a hard stare to my left. The look on his face was serious, his stare cold. I slowly turned my head in the direction he was staring, to see him eyeing the guy, that was still currently, burning holes through my thighs. Noah suddenly stepping into the guys line of vision.

He moved in front of me, positioning himself between my thighs, his back facing me like a shield. The warmth of his body radiated towards me, and I felt an immediate sense of relief washing over me.

Noah leaned back, slightly into me my chest softly grazing his back, and turned to shoot the guy another cold, piercing stare that spoke volumes. My body shuddered at the sudden possessiveness Noah displayed toward me. His voice suddenly filled the air, making everyone around go silent. “Got a problem?” His voice was calm, but held an eerie edge to it.

Without a word, the guy took a step back, eyes wide, and then another step, shaking his head quickly retreating from the kitchen entirely. I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding, my shoulders finally relaxing as I leaned my forehead against Noah’s back in whispering a “thanks.” The tension slowly slipping away.

He turned his head slightly over his shoulder, revealing a small, reassuring smile. "No problem, sweetheart." he said, his voice steady and low. It sent a jolt of warmth through me, weaving a complicated mix of emotions in my chest. I knew Noah had my back, always—yet this was different. There was a possessiveness in that simple act, a reminder that I wasn't just a friend to him; I was treasured.

I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, glancing up at him with a sheepish grin, feeling the rush of camaraderie morphing into something deeper. As Jesse resumed his tale, I found myself fully in the moment again, but with a newfound warmth that lingered just a little stronger than before..

Instead of moving back to his spot next to me, Noah relaxed deeper into me, his back completely pressing against my chest. A delightful heat spread through me, igniting each nerve ending with that rush of adrenaline. I couldn’t help but feel a tingle of excitement at having him so close.

I knew it was wrong. To think of my best friend this way, the one I sought solace in during rough patches, the one who many people saw as just a bestie and nothing more. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about him. But as he laughed with the others, my heart raced at the thought that maybe I wasn’t the only one who felt the tension between us.

My thighs unconsciously tensed around his hips as I tried to ground myself against this newfound sensation—the thrill of intimacy wrapped up in friendship. He must have felt it too, because his laughter stuttered for a split second as his hand reached back. Slowly, reverently, his large hand slid down the side of my thigh, making me shiver from the touch. His fingers were warm, gentle, but there was an underlying strength in his hold, like he could both protect and consume me if he chose.

I swallowed hard, my breath hitching in my throat as his hand traveled further, down my calf, until his fingers lightly but deliberately wrapped around my ankle. It was an entirely innocent gesture, maybe, but it sent fireworks through me. I could feel his heartbeat against my chest, steady and alive, matching the rapid beat of my own heart in a chorus of tension.

Noah turned slightly, just enough that I could see the smirk gracing his lips, that perfect smile deepening. "What's the matter?" he teased, his voice low and playful, not quite matching the serious tension in the air around us.

My pulse quickened further. Did he notice the way I was feeling? Was he teasing, or was there an underlying truth to his words? “N-nothing,” I replied, trying to maintain a facade of calm while my insides twisted with a mixture of desire and uncertainty.

His fingers tightened slightly around my ankle, and in that moment, the laughter of our friends faded away until it was just the two of us—the space around us pulsing with unspoken words and hidden truths. The air felt charged, electric with what lay between us, each heartbeat echoing a question that had lingered unspoken for far too long.

I finally said fuck it, and leaned in slightly closer, pressing my lips to the edge of his shoulder, feeling him stiffen just slightly at the unexpected contact. The initial shock was quickly replaced by more tension, and I could almost feel the struggle within him as I watched the playful spark in his eyes change into something deeper. Something more.

“You should be reeaal careful,” he murmured, barely above a whisper, his eyes locking onto mine with fierce intensity. All I could see or focus on was him.

I felt a rush of confidence, emboldened by the heat of our connection. “Or what?.”

#noah sebastian #bad omens #badomensimagines #noah sabastian smut #noahsebastiancult #bad omens cult #imagines #bad omens band #bad omens smut #nick folio #joakim jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo

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chibimui · 23 days ago

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My 2cents on the KNH LN5 Epilogue Translation

Alright, here we go. I've written this post 10 different ways and at different periods throughout the year, but I think I just need to post it instead of letting it torment me in my drafts.

Every time I see people use "bad translation" as the reason why Japanese and Western fans have such a different interpretation of the LN5 epilogue I just... don't agree. Even when people try to provide evidence and their own alternative translations to prove that the scene is "sexier" in Japanese, I still don't think their examples are that different or even better than what the official English translation provided.

For me, I feel like English readers are just interpreting the text differently because dubcon just isn't as accepted by English readers than it is for Japanese readers.

(my thoughts continue under the cut if you wanna read my ramblings.)

Does the English translation have mistakes that make it confusing when JinMao kiss? YES. Absolutely! But honestly? It's not like the kisses are described in a particularly sexy way in Japanese. They're just as vague and nondescript. A Japanese reader is used to reading kiss scenes like this though--where you NEVER see the word kiss or are directly told that two people's lips are touching or even when their lips stop touching. You're just supposed to figure out from context. It's all just "breathes being exchanged" and "~something~ pressing against my lips" or "suddenly tasting a hint of cherry" or whatever.

English readers, however, are much more accustomed to direct descriptions and so when encountering kiss scenes described this vaguely I can see why many readers completely missed the kissing. The translation mistakes don't help, but I don't think the mistakes were actually big enough to completely misrepresent the moment.

Also, I feel like what most people actually have issue with in the epilogue is the violence. And the reality is that the violence is translated exactly as it is.

So it always seems a bit disingenuous when I see people say "The translation is bad. The scene is actually sexier in Japanese!" and then specifically only focus on translating the parts where they kiss, because I feel like non-Japanese readers take that and assume that the scene is less violent. But it's not.

Jinshi chokes Maomao. He does so without permission. When he wraps his fingers around her neck he is not doing so after having a carefully negotiated discussion--he does it out of the blue and on impulse. Also let me remind you--this is the image we are given for this scene.

Ya'll - the violence - the UNNEGOTIATED DUBIOUS CONSENT/FORCEFULNESS - IS THE SEXY AND KINKY PART. He chokes her and then kisses her. They argue, then Jinshi pushes Maomao down and kisses her again (cause she's being purposely obtuse with his feelings), and Maomao goes into autopilot and does god-knows-what with her mouth that results in... whatever happening to Jinshi and Maomao slipping away. (the Japanese word Hyuuga-sensei used to describe Jinshi's reaction at the end was a freaking onomatopoeia (ぴくっぴくっ). Seriously, don't go looking at the Japanese text for clarity because you will not find it).

Also for the second kiss, which morphs into the third, Maomao is monologuing the whole time about how to get out of it until her brothel instincts kick in. Would it have been sexier if it was more clear that they had been kissing the whole time? Sure! But even the Japanese text doesn't make this very obvious, which, again, is okay because Japanese readers are used to filling in extra context in a way English readers aren't so it doesn't matter, and b) regardless, Maomao is not enjoying the moment. She might not be having a panic attack, but my girl is not having a good time.

In the Japanese text all of this is presented in typical Japanese fashion with a side dose of Maomao's personal brand of detachment - this means using a lot of vague descriptors that quickly glosses over what is happening with the barest of details. The English didn't leave anything out on that front. It's not like we have entire missing paragraphs describing in detail what their make out was like - what you got in English was basically what you got in Japanese. Which is to say - not much.

Also, please remember this is a light novel. Light novels, in terms of writing level (not necessarily subject matter) are basically equivalent to YA novels in English. The language isn't meant to be super complex and the prose tends to more simplistic for quick easy reading. So honestly, there is no way this scene could ever be genuinely that sexy. The fact that people insist that this chapter is meant to be super hot genuinely confuses me because again, this is a light novel. They couldn't make the chapter genuinely sexy even if they wanted to!

Look. Translating a novel is hard ya'll. In many ways, much harder than other mediums like manga or TV shows where you have visuals to help provide more context. In novel translations all you have is the written word. You have no images to help readers picture what is meant to be portrayed in the original (and in this case, the visual we were given was not exactly a positive one). There is a much larger dilemma of how one can keep the stylized voice of the original author (pure translation) while also making the novel actually read well in English (localizing the text). You never want your translation to sound like it's a translation, and you also don't want to localize so much that you've basically re-written a whole new book from the ground up. And yet, a translator still needs to help an English reader envision the exact same thing a Japanese reader might be envisioning when at baseline, English literary writing and Japanese literary writing are completely different approaches to writing AND the tropes/cultural norms/backgrounds etc. are also wildly different.

How can you do that with a scene like this - where on a baseline level Japanese readers are going to be much more okay with what is happening, and they know the game. They know they're meant to fill in some (hundreds of) missing blanks. Whereas your average English reader (who I'm assuming is Western and disproportionately North American) would set up a scene like this very differently, and be expecting different rules in how to engage. The expectations are entirely different from one language to the next--and yes, this is true even if you understand both languages. I think and approach reading Japanese texts differently than I approach reading English ones because they're fundamentally different ways of writing.

So yes, unfortunately some of the "sexual tension" was lost in translation for the epilogue--I don't disagree with this sentiment. But I personally don't think the reason is "bad translation" as it is folks reading the scene differently because Japanese readers are used to reading scenes like this, are okay with what was presented at face value and are happy to fill in the blanks themselves, whereas English readers aren't. It's like trying to convince a modern day person that seeing someone's ankles is ~scandalous~. A translator can only do so much to bridge a gap that wide.

Overall personally, I give the KnH LN translations as a whole an 80/100. Perfectly passable leaning towards the better side. Not outstanding, but I think the translator captures Hyuuga-sensei's tone pretty well, and a Japanese fan and an English fan could easily talk about this series and come away with the same understanding of the characters, and the overall arching themes/plots of the novel without any issue.

As for this chapter specifically? 75/100. There are mistakes in crucial areas that definitely make the chapter slightly more confusing than it needs to be, but overall, it gets all the important stuff across.

#*mic drop*#I still don't think I got my point across well but I tried my best #also not liking/not agreeing with a translation doesn't make it bad btw #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #chibi talks

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twisted-wonderland-shenanigans · 2 months ago

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Twisted Kaijuland Prologue (2025 Rewrite)

AT LAAAAAST!!!! I have finally completed the rewrite of an AU I've been wanting to work more on, but I'd lost interest in the direction it was going at the time. Now I feel more saatisfied with this and hope to continue sharing these ideas with everyone!

Note: there are LOTS of changes to how the story originally started, so please keep that in mind as I work to continue figuring out more and more of this AU and how everyone works. That means some (aka a good chunk of) scenes and scenarios will be completely different from before, mainly to make it flow and make better sense compared to my other AUs. But I will be keeping up the originals, so don't worry!

Also random, but I believe this version is much longer than the original prologue was! 😂 Hope you all enjoy this retelling! And I will be uploading this on AO3 as well!

WARNING: Minor and explicit language (cursing) and blood mention. Going forward there's a possibility of there being more blood given the nature of the kaiju, but I'll be sure to properly warn when those do pop up. Meanwhile, most of the storytelling in the beginning will be Yuu exploring the island and getting to interact with each of the kaiju packs!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Prologue: Found Astray in a New World

Beep……

Bwoop…

The steady beeps rang in Yuu’s ears as they drifted in and out of consciousness, lulled by the rush of crashing ocean waves that coaxed them to fall back to sleep. Yet the discomfort they felt on their back as the heat of the sun pulled their mind back to the surface, tempered by the cool breeze filled with the smell of sea salt. A pained groan escaped as they forced their body up, sand clinging to their damp skin as they stared through the haze at their surroundings in the faint morning light on the horizon. ‘W…where…am I?’ they thought, panic slowly creeping in as they realized they didn’t recognize anything. ‘Huh?? Where-? What-?? How did I get here? Why can’t I-!’

A sharp pain hit as they groaned, clutching their head and hissing as they waited for it to pass.

“Why…can’t I remember?” they uttered aloud, their voice cracking a little from thirst.

Yuu sat in silence as they waited, hoping that the headache would pass quickly while trying to sort through their clouded thoughts. Fragments of memories—of shapes and sounds so unrecognizable they couldn’t be real—scattered no matter how hard they focused. And yet while those memories eluded them…some were too nightmarish to be forgotten.

Long, narrow faces with gaunt skin and fangs sharper than needles, maws and pores oozing a viscous black ichor that stained and burned the ground it touched.

Sharp, wicked claws attached to long, gangly arms that pulled and dragged the bloated and serpentine bodies across the ground at inhuman speeds.

Flashes of teeth so close to their face they could smell the rot of its breath.

‘These are just nightmares,’ they thought to themselves, taking a deep breath to try and ease the fear clutching their chest in a vice. ‘They’re not real—they’re just fragments of bad dreams from my memories!’

Memories you don’t have, a small, nagging voice in the back of their mind chided them. You don’t know where you are. You’re lost and alone…do you even remember who you are? Who you’re supposed to be?

BEEEEEEEEEP!!

“Wah!?” they yelped as they fell backwards into the sand, staring at the source with wide eyes. Around their ankle—glinting in the sunlight like a beacon—was a metal band. A cursory glance revealed a near-invisible seam, a soft red light blinking erratically like it was seeking…something. “What is this thing?” they uttered, reaching down to try and pry it off. It refused to budge, tight enough prevent it from being slipped off yet loose enough to wriggle a finger underneath. Whoever made this ensured there was soft material underneath, keeping the metal from rubbing against their skin.

Confused and frustrated, they turned their attention back to their current situation: finding out where they were, getting help, and finding a source of food and water. Knowing which of the three would be easiest to achieve, they began walking along the beach to find a fruit-bearing tree towards the strangely shaped rocks.

The sand was soft beneath their bare feet, Yuu taking note of their attire and realizing they were wearing long gray pants and a strangely designed long-sleeved top. They noticed what looked like a faded black symbol resembling an upside-down triangle with a boat-like shape. Around their neck they felt an odd band, though what it was they couldn’t tell—though at least it didn’t seem to be restricting their breathing.

“What is even happening to me?” they uttered, feeling around for any injuries they hadn’t noticed. There were no bumps, no tender spots, no cuts or scratches…nothing to explain the massive gap in their memories. “If this is some sort of prank, I-“

Thunk!

“Yeow!” Hopping on one foot, Yuu hissed and glared at the rock…before realizing it was too reflective and shiny to be one. Cautiously, they started digging around the object, taking care to avoid the sharp edges. More and more was uncovered as they dug, shoveling sand away until they finally managed to make out something. The same marking as the one on their top, only…different somehow. Like someone had tried to alter it to appear more monstrous or dangerous. “What in the…world,” they uttered, finally looking up and staring at in shock and horror.

As the sun rose higher, the light revealed more and more that the strangely shaped rocks they’d seen weren’t made of stone. Twisted and mangled, Yuu found themselves staring at a massive graveyard of ships and planes. As far as the eye could see it stretched, creating a maze of metal corpses jutting out of the sand like the bones of a monstrous creature. Warily they ventured forth, watching their step and avoiding the jagged metal pieces that reached out like lost souls seeking to drag them down into the sand. Slowly they began to notice other materials in the mix, hulls of wooden ships rotting away yet somehow maintaining some semblance of their shape.

Peering inside one of the ships, they spotted a scores of barrels and crates—some broken revealing their contents. Furs, herbs, spices, cloth…all relatively in decent condition, if worn down by time and scavenging critters. In the corner, they noticed a large coffer of coins and jewels—completely untouched.

“What did all of this?” they muttered aloud, taking a closer look around at the condition of the ships and planes. As the sunlight revealed more and more, so too did they notice the full extent of the damage. Some bore gashes along the sides—some a singular line while others bore more than one in a row. Some were warped with chunks dripping like frozen droplets, as though something corrosive had burned through the metal and cooled in an instant. Others…

Others were impaled with black crystals.

They felt ill as they approached one of the crystals, a dark, noxious green light pulsing within that seemed to grow brighter as they moved closer. Wisps of eerie gray mist slowly cascaded down from the stones, where they could see a pool of inky ichor at the base of the plane’s frame. For a brief moment, they thought they heard…whispers coming from within.

Stay away!, their mind seemed to scream even as their body crept forward. Danger! Evil! Vile! Beautif-

In an instant they stopped, quickly backing away before they could touch the tip of the crystal and collapsing with a wheeze. “What was that?” they uttered, shaking their head. They stared up at the crystal, only to avert their gaze once more when they felt the strange pull again. Whatever this thing was, it wasn’t natural and it wasn’t safe. Climbing to their feet, they decided it was time to leave the ship graveyard and continue their search for food and shelter. “This place will be a last resort,” they uttered, shivering as they moved away from the inky black crystals.

The sun was steadily rising now as they continued their search, somehow managing to escape the giant metal deathtrap maze and into a wide clearing. Up ahead they could see a jungle tree line, immediately recognizing the cluster of yellow at the top of one of the trees. Relieved to have found a food source, they ran as fast as they could towards the trees. As they grew closer and closer, however, their excitement turned to confusion as they slowed to a trot. Still the trunks of the trees continued to grow bigger, dwarfing Yuu as they stopped and stared up in horror at the sight of the trees looming over them like towers.

“What the hell is going on,” they uttered, slowly turning in a circle as they realized just how small they were compared to the foliage. Plants that should have come up to their waist or shoulders were large enough to form a canopy, shielding them from the steadily growing harsh sunlight. Trees that should have been easily 15-20 feet tall were easily three times that height, fruit that should have been easy to pluck and gather now swayed threateningly like a boulder ready to be dropped.

Buzzing overhead caught their attention as they looked up, pure terror filling their veins as they saw what could only be described as a giant dragonfly-like creature flitting about. It hovered close to a flower, the downdraft of its wings buffeting Yuu with strong winds as it landed on a petal—and disappearing the moment the flower snapped shut around its body, clamping down like a vice as it struggled to escape.

“Nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope!” was all Yuu managed to say before they scurried away, not wanting to find out if anything else had a taste for flesh. “Giant food is one thing, but I draw the line at man-eating plants!”

Giant food, giant bugs, giant plants, a deserted island, and an entire graveyard of ships and planes? This had to be a fever dream or a nightmare of epic proportions! Yet it was getting harder and harder to find logic in anything they were seeing. None of this should even be possible, and yet…here they were, stranded in the middle of nowhere with no idea of who they were, how they got here, or even why they were here. And if the insects and plants were enormous, what else was even bigger than them? They didn’t even know if there were any other survivors out the-

‘Get a grip, Yuu!’ they thought, managing to stick close to the edge of the jungle on their right and keeping the shore on their left side. ‘Panicking won’t help anything, and you need to stay focused. Food will have to wait, so let’s just find water and shel-‘ the ground collapsed under their right foot, sending Yuu sliding down a steep incline with loud, “Aaaah!!”

Whud!

“…ow,” they uttered, groaning as they slowly sat up. Glancing back where they came from, they spotted the steep slope that had been concealed by one of the leaves. The dirt was smoothed away to reveal red and yellow clay, as though someone had carved out the opening with a tool to remove any bumps or ridges. Realizing that it would be too steep a climb to get out of the ravine, they sighed and shook their head. “Great…is everything on this island trying to kill-”

Thoom…

“…me…” Their voice trailed off as another thud hit the ground, the earth vibrating beneath their feet as they slowly turned towards the densest part of the forest. Something was coming, the sound of branches creaking and snapping reaching Yuu’s ears as they slowly started to creep behind a large rock formation—before finally noticing the razor-sharp teeth and the empty eye socket. They clamped their hands over their mouth as a massive black shape began to emerge, ducking into the gap of the skull until they could peek through the socket.

The creature that emerged was gigantic, towering beyond anything they could imagine as it crept into the area on four legs. The sunlight fell across its body, black and green feathers gleaming while its beak—wickedly sharp and deadly—was slick with something damp.

‘What…what the fuck is that thing?!’ Yuu thought, pressing their body against the inside of the skull as they watched the monster move.

It sniffed the air, its four glowing golden eyes scanning the area. It sniffed at the colorful crystal formations at the base of the tree. A pair of thin, small arms extending from its chest as the strange hands grasped at the stones, snapping them from the base. When it opened its beak, the sun glinted off of sharp rows of teeth before it crunched down on the crystals. Once the crystals were gone, it sniffed around for a moment before it stood on its hind legs and leaned against one of the trees. Its neck stretched out further than they thought was possible, its sharp beak plucking at the fruit that seemed so ridiculously small in comparison. From this angle, they could see a pair of massive wings pressed tightly to its sides and a long serpentine tail lazily sweeping across the ground.

‘Okay…whatever the hell that thing is, it seems only interested in fruit, so maybe it won’t mistake me for a bug and eat me…?’

Something skittered across the bark near the monster’s claw, and a moment later its head had darted forward. A giant spider-like bug with crystalline spikes was squirming in its beak before it tossed its head back, swallowing it whole before continuing to pluck at the fruit with a distinctly happy trill.

‘…yeah, that makes more sense,’ they thought, feeling their heart beating heavily in their chest. ‘Dammit…I can’t run or that thing will spot and eat me like that spider! Maybe I can just…wait here in this skull and-”

Beep-bwoop!

“Shit!” Yuu whispered under their breath as they immediately reached down to the ankle bracelet. To their horror, the bird-lizard monster’s head immediately snapped towards their direction, the two feathery ears popping up and swiveling left and right—searching for the sound again. ‘Dammit, why is the universe trying to kill me?!’

THOOM…THOOM…

Each footstep from the monster made their heart jump as they pressed their body against the wall of the skull, bracing their feet against the other side to avoid falling over and making more noise. They could hear the beast sniff the air, the musty smell of rotting meat and fruit washing over the area while something loud scraped against the ground around their hiding spot.

‘Please don’t beep again, please don’t let it find me, please, please, please, please!’ they thought, staring at the bracelet as the light blinked mockingly up at them. The monster sniffed—horrifyingly close now—as a wave of hot air rushed through the eye socket. Through the gaps in the skull’s teeth, they could see its shadow blocking out the sunlight, the tips of what they realized were its massive claws beginning to curl underneath their hiding spot and starting to lift. ‘I just woke up, I don’t want to die!’

Just then, in the distance, a loud, echoing roar filled the air.

Immediately the bird-lizard let out a sound akin to a chirp as it dropped their shelter back down, the quiet crooning it was making earlier devolving into a terrifying hissing snarl and caw. The earth shook as Yuu heard it bound away, branches and leaves snapping in its path as they heard it barrel through the forest. Then…

Silence.

They waited, heart racing as they listened for any sign of it returning. Minutes felt like hours before—finally—they cautiously emerged. Shaken, Yuu was horrified to see the deep gouges in the earth from where the creature had been digging with its claws, realizing just how close they were to being eaten.

Cursing under their breath, Yuu pointed at the bracelet and said, “Once I figure out how to get you off, I’m breaking you with the biggest hammer I can find.”

Be-beep! Beep-bwoop!

They glared at it and asked, “What now?”

“Signal connection: acquired,” a mechanical voice from the wall said, the sudden speaker startling Yuu as they pressed their back to the skull, looking around warily. “Scanning…no threats detected nearby. Opening access port. Please stand by.”

Chk! Tsssss….

Right before their eyes they watched as the stone wall split open, revealing a large metal door that slid open into a dark tunnel. “Please step forward,” the mechanical voice commanded as the lights turned on inside.

Glancing back at the path the monster had disappeared through, Yuu reluctantly obeyed and entered just as the entrance shut with a decisive tssss. Now they found themselves stuck between two locked doors with no visible way out. “Okay…now what?” they asked aloud, looking around in confusion. A thought occurred to them as they uttered, “Please tell me I didn’t just walk into a trap.”

“Please stand by for entry permission,” the mechanical voice said. “Analyzing bracer code…error! Error! Code cannot be found in database.” Movement out of the corner of their eye drew their attention to the inner door, a panel opening on the side as a camera-like device emerged. “Please stand still while scanning is in progress.” A red beam of light shot out, the thin line moving from their feet to their head before vanishing, the camera retracting with a click. “Scan acquired. Searching for facial recognition files…search complete. No staff record on file. DNA signature cannot be verified. Please stand by while I contact the current on duty director for further instruction.”

“Wait, what’s going on? What is this place?” Yuu asked, searching the room for something to focus on. “Where are we?”

“Status update: cannot establish contact with current on duty director,” the computer voice said, making them wonder if it was canned phrases. “Attempting communication with secondary duty director……attempt unsuccessful. Reevaluating follow-on directive…complete. Beginning creation of temporary visitor profile.” The panel on the other side of the door opened, this time revealing a small screen and a microphone. “Please place your hand on the screen and state your name to begin registration process.”

Gingerly placing their hand palm down on the screen, Yuu leaned in and said, “Um…Yuu?” They jumped but held their hand to the screen when it began to scan, the glass surface pleasantly warm to the touch compared to the chill of the room.

“Name and handprint scan accepted. Creating temporary visitor profile…profile complete. Welcome Uhm Yuu.”

“I-it’s just Yuu,” they said quickly.

“Please report to the main office for assistance, Uhm Yuu,” the computer voice continued, the door sliding open as lights began to turn on inside. A path of green lights appeared along the floor, creating a pathway for them to follow. “Once in the main office, you will be provided with instructions, your new staff badge, and your new Multi Information Record Assistance tool. Access to the lab facilities will be limited without the badge and tool, so please ask for assistance from the main office if you find yourself unable to enter certain workspaces. If you lack the current clearance level, you will not be permitted to enter the space. Please ensure you follow proper protocol when storing collected samples before proceeding through the decontamination and hazard chambers. Have a nice day!”

“…what is this place and why does it sound shady as heck?” Yuu uttered as they shook their head. Knowing they had no other options and didn’t want to be outside, they followed the green lights.

It was…eerily quiet. They expected to see someone—anyone—in this place rushing around or even just working, yet it was silent. Each room they passed by was either dark or lit up but empty, various tools and computer equipment scattered about in the gloomy space. Streams of data flickered across the monitors and transparent screens, occasionally displaying diagrams of weird and disturbing creatures that looked nothing short of a nightmare’s dream! Only one monitor, however, caught their eye as they stared, noting how oval its shape was and the ornate serpent-like frame that decorated the edges of the cracked surface. Instead of a reflection, however, bright green flames flickered within the dark depths, the screen glitching as a broken white mask blinked in and out of existence.

Whatever had happened in this place, it was clear to Yuu that this place had long since been abandoned. A struggle happened from what they could tell, though it looked less man-caused and more…sinister. The walls were dented and marred with deep gashes, patches of dried blood stained the floors the further they ventured in. On one wall mirror, they saw a bloody handprint that slid down before disappearing, the inside of the room looking like something had shattered the equipment with a single blow. What unnerved them the most, however, was the fact that there were no bodies.

‘Why am I still going deeper into the creepy abandoned death-trap?’ they thought, warily looking between the rooms for any sign of life. ‘Isn’t there some rule to horror where you’re not supposed to do that?!...then again, being out there with big, tall, and terrifying and whatever made that roar sounds even worse.’

They finally reached the end of the green lights and entered a large open room, multiple desks and chairs arranged in a chaos of papers and busted computer stations. Only one in the back against the wall seemed operational, flicking to life as they approached. “Please place your hand on the panel to begin replication of your new staff badge,” the computerized voice said. Upon touching the panel, the screen began to fill with data faster than their eye could read, the machine whirring to life before ejecting a thick plastic card from the slot beneath the monitor. “Congratulations, Uhm Yuu, for joining the Night Raven Corporation’s Exploration and Research Development Team. You will begin your first assignment as a lab assistant to our great technicians. Please follow the lighted path to the lab area where you will obtain your first Multi Information Record Assistant tool and receive your first task from your immediate supervisor.”

“I’m not even a scientist, and even if I was, where is everyone?!” Yuu asked. When they received no response, they slumped their shoulders with a sigh and said, “Yeah. These are just recorded voice lines…that can somehow say my name without issue…mostly…”

The lights led deeper into the facility, the lights dim with red emergency lights flashing the further in they moved. The eeriness made their skin crawl, walking around the shallow gashes in the floor until they finally made it to a large warehouse-like area. From wall to wall were machines and, rows upon rows of glass tube tanks lined up as far as the eye could see. Each one was filled with a viscous liquid of various colors: red, blue, orange-yellow, and green. Yuu could see there were dark shapes in most of the tubes, though any distinct features were obscured by the layers of dirt and dust against the glass. Cautiously they approached the closest one, wiping their hand against the glass-

“AAH!?” they shrieked, tumbling over one of the cables and scrambling away until their back was pressed against the base of another tank. Inside the glass was an almost humanoid creature, its face looking like a squashed reptile crossed with a fish as the gills on its neck slowly fluttered in the liquid. Tubes and wires connected to the creature’s body, though whether it was to keep it alive or feed data to the computer next to the glass tank they couldn’t tell. Breathing heavily, they uttered, “This place is going to give me a heart attack before I can even figure out what’s going on! What even is that thing?!”

Blip! “Cannot com-m-m-mpute your question. Please con-n-n-nect device and ask again.”

“…what?” they uttered, looking around in confusion before spotting what looked like a large, thick bracelet next to their right hand. Curious, they picked it up, examining the surface and spotting the screen. It was dark, with the word “M.I.R.A.” displayed in bright blue letters. “What…are you?” they asked.

“Answer,” the tiny bracelet said, startling them as they dropped it into their lap. “I am M.I.R.A., an a-a-a-artificial intelligence tool. P-p-p-please pl-l-l-l-lace me on your wrist in a comfortable position to begin user r-r-r-reassignment and module r-r-repair protocol.”

“Nnnnot sure that’s a good idea if you sound broken,” they uttered. Still, they complied, the bracelet snapping shut around their wrist.

The screen blipped and flickered, a loading bar appearing on screen as the voice said, “Beginning r-r-r-repair protocol. S-s-s-stand by………repair protocol, complete. Module is now in operational order. Beginning user reassignment. Please state your name.”

“Yuu,” they stated clearly.

“Acknowledged. Searching database…new staff profile found. New user ‘Uhm Yuu’ has been accepted. Welcome, Uhm Yuu. What would you like to know?”

“…are you actually going to answer my questions, or are you just saying canned recorded responses?”

“Answer: it is my directive to assist my user and answer any potential questions they may have and provide suitable answers based on available data. I am designed to learn and respond accordingly to any situation you may come across.”

“Guess that’s good enough for me,” Yuu muttered. Aloud, they asked, “So what exactly are you? Let’s start with that.”

“Answer: I am a Multi Information Record Assistant, an artificial intelligence tool developed by the Night Raven Corporation to aid its researchers and exploration teams in the study of the local flora and fauna. Once assigned, I am to monitor my current user’s vitals to ensure they remain in good health and offer suggestions on mitigating stress when not in current danger. I will continue to serve my purpose until the day you pass, in which I will once again be reassigned to a new user. What would you like to know?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up! What do you mean ‘once again’? Did you already have another user before me??”

“Affirmative. Dr. Amity Willows was my previous user prior to her passing. As the top researcher in this facility, Dr. Willows’ work was vital to the progression of understanding the environmental effects of the energy found across the island and the influence it has on the local flora and fauna.”

“I…what? Island?” Yuu uttered, thinking back to the beach they’d awoken on. “What do you mean by that? Where are we? And…what happened to Dr. Willows?”

The tool said nothing for a moment, the screen humming as a new loading bar appeared. Then, with a blink, it transferred to another screen with what looked like a variety of folders with locks on most of them. “Answer: Due to the low clearance level on your profile, I am unable to access many of the files uploaded to the Dark Mirror Server. Searching……located data logs recorded by Dr. Willows. Data logs have been triple-encoded to prevent complete factory reset in the event something should happen to her, and will require time to unlock each data log. However, I am able to access the last few minutes of security footage before servers went down.”

“Can you show me what happened and where everyone is?”

The screen blinked through various different screens—too fast for their eyes to follow—before finally settling on an angle of the lab they currently stood in. Compared to now, there were more people around frozen in time. They were examining the figures in the tanks, some holding tablets while others were standing in front of stations filled with test tubes and beakers. The video began to play, though the quality seemed…strange. The video glitched and skipped, some segments being streamlined while others looked like fragments of images. In the center of the room, however, they spotted two unusually colored tanks: the largest being a noxious red color while the smaller one was a brilliant cyan. Both seemed to have creatures inside them, though what they looked like they couldn’t tell from this angle.

In an instant, the imagery changed. Warped screams and cries of panic emerged from the speakers as the scientists began to run, the red tank shattered as the creature’s serpentine body—dripping with a black ink-like substance that seemed to burn the metal floor—dragged itself across the floor by two sets of gangly clawed arms. Its head in one image showed an oddly familiar narrow skull-shaped head, the eye sockets empty of any eyes yet seeming to “cry” drops of the inky ichor.

Yuu covered their mouth in horror as they saw the creature hunting down the scientists, the camera shifting to the hallways they’d walked through as the creature went on a rampage across the area. The scientists that managed to avoid the creature by hiding in the rooms had been splashed by the black ichor, which began to spread across their bodies, the feed cutting out just before they could see what happened—though given what they’d seen and the lack of bodies, they had a good idea.

“What…the hell is that thing?” they uttered, watching as the creature crashed its way down the hall and out the entrance before the feed finally cut off. Remembering the giant skull they’d hidden in just outside the facility, they asked, “Did…that monster die after escaping?”

“I do not have access to the outside cameras at this time. However, the little data I am able to access from Dr. Willows’ research logs suggest that the creature’s DNA was unstable. Comparing data prior to and just before the incident in the lab, it appears that the creature’s DNA was contaminated by an unknown substance that weakened its immune system. The compromise appears to have created an unstable reaction to the creature’s DNA, triggering a rapid deterioration of its physical body shortly before its emergence from containment. Based on visual analysis, it would suggest the creature’s movements are indicative of death throes warring with an insatiable instinct to feed and consume other living creatures. Conclusion: it is highly likely that whatever skeletal remains you have found may be the very creature that escaped.”

Yuu was silent as the screen went back to the screen showing the rest of the videos that weren’t locked, their thoughts swimming. When they finally spoke, their voice was quiet as they asked, “Does…this mean…I’m alone on this island?”

“Answer: cannot confirm. I am unable to connect to the communication network between the various facilities scattered across the island. Current status of facilities is unknown—I cannot detect any distress signals either.”

“So…there may be other people out there, then. I just have to find them, right?”

“Affirmative.”

“Okay…I don’t suppose you can tell me anything about why everything is so giant? Or…maybe what that giant bird…lizard…monster thing was.”

“Answer: the island’s biology constantly shifts and changes over time. The energy that’s released in the environment enhances the soil’s nutrients and the resulting flora growth, creating a rich ecosystem not found anywhere else on Earth. Due to this, the creatures of this island have been noted to grow at an exponential rate, resulting in many animals and insects developing mutations and abilities unnatural to those commonly found in their natural habitats.”

“And the giant bird-lizard…?”

“Cannot confirm. The island is host to many a creature that match that description.”

Yuu groaned and covered their face, leaning against the closest surface while uttering, “Of course…why would I think otherwise on an island full of giant monsters? How in the world am I supposed to survive here if the scientists in this place didn’t even survive that mutant in the tank?”

“Rrrrr…”

‘……why does this feel so soft?’ they though, a sense of dread filling their chest as they patted the fluffy damp surface. Another low, rattling growl erupted beneath them as Yuu slowly turned their head.

Bright cerulean eyes with cyan sclera stared at them in the gloom, blue flames flickering in its ears. The creature’s face was cat-like, ebony scales decorating its cheeks and forehead gleaming like obsidian stones. Its upper lip curled up to reveal sharp fangs, licks of more blue flames emerging from its mouth.

“Niiiiiice kitty…monster,” Yuu said slowly, carefully getting off and backing away. It watched them intently, standing taller on four legs as a three-pronged tail swished behind it. “Gooooooood kitty-monster…”

Out of the corner of their eye they spotted the red and blue tubes from the video. The larger of the two had clearly been shattered, its bulk all but concealing the smaller tube’s condition. Drops of containment fluid dripped from the broken glass to the floor, revealing the very large pool at the base.

‘Oh shi-!’

“Sssscraaaarl!!”

“FUCK!!” Yuu shrieked, barely dodging the monster’s jaw as it snaped at them before bolting for the exit. “MIRA!! What the hell is that thing?!”

“Cannot confirm,” came the computer’s response. “Please stand still so I may conduct a proper scan, Uhm Yuu.”

Hearing the snarling creature charge after them, Yuu picked up the pace and shouted, “I’m about to get eaten by a mutant cat monster, and you want me to stand still?!”

“Negative. According to article thirty-five, section five—”

“Less briefy, more helpy, please!” Yuu yelped as they quickly turned the corner, hearing the monster slam into the wall as its claws scrabbled for purchase on the metal flooring.

“Affirmative. Activating lockdown procedures. Please proceed to the entrance, Uhm Yuu, as quickly as possible to avoid being locked in. You have ten seconds. Nine. Eight.”

Seeing the end in sight and the steel door starting to descend, Yuu uttered every curse they knew as MIRA continued her countdown. Fueled by pure adrenaline and fear, Yuu launched themselves forward and slid across the floor—and out into the open field. A loud clang rang out as they landed in the dirt, a muffled growl of pain escaping through the metal.

Panting and trembling, Yuu turned to stare at the door as the monster slammed and scratched at the metal. How they managed to outrun such a creature they had no idea, and yet…they had. They were still alive! They made it!! They-!

…why was the door glowing?

They watched in horror as the door changed, the silver metal shifting from glowing orange to pure white as it warped and melted right before their eyes. Through the slowly widening gap they could see the monster’s face, licks of blue flame escaping its jowls as it locked eyes with them.

“Are you kidding me?!” Yuu yelped as they scrambled to their feet again, bolting away from the hidden base. Their heart leapt in their chest as the monster snarled, hearing its bounding gait charge after them catching up faster than it had on the metal floor. For a moment they swore they could feel its hot breath against their back, the smell of sulfur and smoke filling their as they heard what sounded like clicking—

BWOOSH!!

“Gyah!?” they shrieked, somehow managing to dodge the burning brush that exploded in front of them without stopping. “Is everything on this island trying to kill me?!”

“Answer: the local flora and fauna-”

“I wasn’t asking literally, MIR—ack!”

So distracted were they by dodging the bursts of flame from the monster, they didn’t realize they had run into a dead end as they all but slammed into the wall. Hands quickly patting the smooth surface, they cursed when they realized they couldn’t climb their way out and turned to find another way out—only to stumble back when a wall of blue flames erupted in a circle around them. As though it knew they were trapped, the creature slowly walked through the flames as it flickered over its fur without igniting it.

Cerulean eyes stared them down, and in the light they could finally make out more features. What they’d thought were wires on its back were actually four tendrils, each one bearing a wicked stinger-like barb on the tip dripping with a noxious green liquid. A drop hit the ground, a faint sizzle escaping as steam rose from the hole in the dirt. Its tail was pronged like a trident, the light glinting off what looked like metal edges along the pointed tips. In that moment, Yuu knew they were dead…

When a shadow fell over them.

In seconds the feline monster’s face went from cold predatory hunter to confusion to fear, eyes gazing up as it hunkered low to the ground. A low, garbled sound akin to a caw and growl rumbled overhead, Yuu’s heart dropping as they followed the monster’s gaze. Perched atop the ridge like a hawk was the bird-lizard from earlier, a large gash that hadn’t been on its shoulder before glistening with fresh blood in the light. Amber eyes locked on to them, a slit in its forehead opening up to reveal a third eye that seemed to pierce through their very soul.

“Tssss-EAARRR!!” the goliath shrieked, flaring its wings as sparks flickered to life across its feathers in a dizzying fashion. Yuu’s hands clamped over their ears as the sheer volume overwhelmed them, the pressure weighing on them with each passing second.

Over the din they could make out a faint shriek, peeking up to see their pursuer writhing on the ground with thorny vines gripping its limbs from the ground. It was clearly in distress, body thrashing as it tried to chew its restraints off while hissing and screeching. Realizing that this was their chance, Yuu bolted past the monster—

And screamed the moment something massive enveloped them, the ground getting further and further away as the wind whistled against their aching ears. They froze in pure terror as they came face to face with the corvid, all three of its glowing eyes staring down at them. It opened its mouth, breath washing over them as—in a low, gravely voice—it said:

“Never…more…”

/------------------/

“……uu……it…get up…….Uhm Yuu. It is time to get up.”

“Mmn…five more minutes…”

“That is ill advised. Vital signs indicate hydration and nutrient intake are critically low, resulting in lowered cognitive abilities. Recommended course of action: seek closest water source and edible fruits.”

Vital signs…?

Groaning, Yuu opened their eyes and sat up, their head pounding from a headache as they realized how dry their throat was. “Wha…what happened?” they mumbled.

“Answer: you fell unconscious and have been asleep for the day,” the computerized voice said calmly. “According to my data, your body was undergoing incredible amounts of stress, resulting in unhealthy amounts of cortisol. Recommend engagement with meditative activities such as yoga or coloring pictures to increase the body’s natural ability to process and regulate your stress levels.”

“Wait, what do you mean I-”

All at once they remembered, hearing the monster’s words echoing in their mind.

“Fuck!! Where’d the monster go?!” Scrambling backwards, they felt something against their back and yelped, finding themselves encircled in what looked like a giant wooden wall of branches—a nest? “Oh no…is it going to feed me to its babies?!”

“Negative. Nevermore currently does not have any young under his care.”

“…wait…his name is Nevermore?”

“Affirmative. Due to his corvid-like appearance and behavior in mimicking some words during test phases, researchers have since dubbed him ‘Nevermore’ in tribute to a famous known poet’s works.”

Yuu’s mouth opened and closed, processing this information as they stared at the bracer. “…you mean to tell me that you know exactly what this thing is?” they finally asked, keeping their voice low in case the monster was nearby. “Do…you know why it didn’t eat me?”

“Affirmative. Nevermore is one of several creatures that match your earlier inquiry, hence my inability to assess the probability. In reference to why he did not consume you-”

THOOM!!

The ground lurched beneath them as Yuu scrambled to press themselves against the wall of sticks—or rather trunks—with a muffled squeak. Another booming step rattled their bones as Yuu silently prayed to not be seen, hand instinctively covering MIRA’s screen to stop the computer from speaking further. Their heart thumped against their rib cage as a massive beak appeared over the edge, seeing the giant monster’s eyes that seemed to glow a brilliant amber in the dim lighting scan the nest.

‘Don’t see me, don’t see me, don’t see me,’ they thought, frozen in pure terror as Nevermore quietly chirped and trilled as he sniffed the air. ‘Goawaygoawaygoawa-’

Nevermore’s eye locked on to them, sending a wave of cold dread through their veins as he turned and leaned towards them.

“NO!!”

He recoiled, blinking at the sharp sound of their voice. When he tried to lean in again, another sharp ‘No!’ from Yuu made him back off with a tilt of his head. As soon as he started venturing into the nest, they noticed how…slow he moved, his body hunched lower than normal. They watched intently, knowing they were trapped but refusing to turn their back on him.

As soon as the pair of smaller arms stretched out from beneath his feathery chest, they braced themselves—until they realized he was holding something.

Carefully the monster set down the massive pile of fruits, each monumental in size and shape. Only when the last of the fruit was still did he move to the far end of the nest, resting his head on his paws and closing his eyes with a sigh. From this angle they could faintly make out the thin line indicating he was still watching, yet he strangely seemed to be trying to appear smaller than he was.

“MIRA…what is going on?” they finally managed to whisper.

“Answer: Nevermore is offering sustenance. Based on previous records of his behavior, he is attempting to ease your fears much like he has in the past when tending to young cubs in his care. Dr. Willows once noted his role as a caretaker of future generations, as he is often found to have adopted orphaned cubs and hatchlings and raise them with his fellow Primal Guardians.”

“So…he’s not pretending to sleep so he can trick and eat me?” they asked, noticing how his eye opened just a little wider before shutting quickly.

“Negative. Though he has not had direct contact with humans, he has not gone out of his way to attempt to harm or eat any of the researchers. According to my database, Dr. Willows was once saved by Nevermore when an expedition was attacked by smaller yet deadly creatures that wiped out the rest of her party. As such, Dr. Willows has started thoroughly studying him as soon as she was released from the medical bay for injuries sustained.”

“…okay…so this giant fruit…is it safe for me to eat?”

“Affirmative. The produce found on this island are noted to be safe and ideal even for humans who require additional nutritional supplements to function properly, providing a stable source of energy and nutrition necessary for day-to-day function. The peach on your right should provide adequate hydration and sustenance.”

They warily looked between the fruit and the monster, half expecting him to gobble them up like the spider from earlier at any second. Each step they felt the bark beneath press harshly against their bare feet, slowly reaching out to dig their hands into the peach while watching him. In an instant the aroma of the peach intensified, making their mouth water and their stomach growl. Before they knew it, their lips were sticky from the nectar and they had all but devoured the chunk in their hands.

‘How long has it been since I’ve had anything to eat or drink?’ they thought, thinking back to the beach and realizing they couldn’t remember anything leading up to that moment. ‘…why am I even here?’

So lost in thought and the flavor of the food, Yuu hadn’t even noticed when Nevermore’s head began inching its way over…until they felt something stiff press against their head.

“BWAH!?”

“SQWARK!?”

Yuu’s eyes were wide as they stared up at Nevermore, his ears perked up and main eyes just as wide and confused as they felt. “Di…did you just lick me?!” they asked incredulously.

“Note: it is not uncommon for Nevermore to attempt to calm frightened cubs with careful grooming after offering a meal,” MIRA commented. “Much like how animals in the wild and domestic settings will perform social grooming to bond, known as ‘allogrooming’, it is an essential and fundamental aspect that reinforces relationships, builds social hierarchies, and even resolves conflicts. In this case, Nevermore is seeking to reassure you as much as he is assisting with hygiene after your meal.”

“And you didn’t think to warn me he might do that?!”

“I am unable to access any records indicating this being a possibility. I’m afraid this was outside of the realm of my assessment to predict such a scenario.”

For a moment Yuu couldn’t speak, watching Nevermore with a confused frown. Despite his size, the griffin-like monster seemed…strangely calm. Like he was observing them as much as they were observing him, a strange intelligence in his eyes. Then, with a quiet voice, they asked, “MIRA…what exactly is Nevermore?”

“Answer: Nevermore is one of many creatures belonging to a category of megafauna. While each megafauna possess differing appearances and capabilities, researchers have begun referring to them as one singular species: Kaiju.”

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst kaiju au #twisted wonderland kaiju au #twst dire crowley #twst grim #twisted wonderland grim #blood tw

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burst-of-iridescent · 1 year ago

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The Choice of Compassion: A Scene Analysis of Aang vs Zuko

should aang have killed ozai?

the age old question. the discourse secondary only to the infamous kat.aang vs zutara ship war. the argument that's been raging for sixteen long, long years and inspired dozens upon dozens of thinkpieces on either side.

so naturally, i'm here to add one more that no one asked for.

now, this debate keeps getting mischaracterized as The Side That Respects Pacifism vs The Side That Wants A Preteen To Commit Brutal Murder when, for the most part, i don't think anyone is really staking their life on the homicide hill. the real issue most people take with aang's arc in the finale isn't him sparing ozai, but rather the deus ex-machina mechanism through which he's able to do so. i agree with that, but i would also take it further to argue that the real problem is that aang's ending is not thematically and narratively consistent with the rest of his arc as set up in the show.

to illustrate this, let's take a look at another scene that plays with similar themes: zuko choosing to save zhao in the siege of the north.

the basics of both scenes are the same: both boys choose, against all logic and common sense, to spare someone who would never show them the same mercy. when it comes down to compassion versus violence, they choose compassion, even at risk to themselves.

but where the siege of the north differs from sozin's comet is that zuko choosing to save zhao is thematically consistent with his arc in season 1, and aligns with where it will go in seasons 2 and 3.

zuko's journey throughout the show is one of rediscovery. he has to find his way back to who he used to be, before his family and his nation warped his perception of right and wrong, and forced him into believing he had to become someone he didn't want to be. it's clear as early as the storm episode that zuko is fundamentally kind, and the person he is now is as a result of being indoctrinated in a culture that perverted violence and cruelty into honour and strength.

in trying to save zhao, the personification of the fire nation's worst qualities and most twisted teachings, zuko turns against the values he's been raised with most of his life and instead chooses to remain true to himself and what he believes is right. it's a triumphant moment because it's zuko returning to the heart of who he is, and who he's truly supposed to be.

and even though his decision may be logically unsound (why risk yourself trying to save someone who tried to kill you?) you don't see anyone complaining that zuko shouldn't have tried at all, because his choice here is a direct - even if brief - resolution to the internal conflict the show has previously established for his character. the narrative consistency of the set-up and payoff allows the audience to recognize the thematic cohesion of this moment in zuko's arc - which is what makes it so powerful and satisfying.

so, the question is: does the same apply to aang's choice not to kill ozai?

the argument supporting aang's decision is usually something as follows: "aang sparing ozai is his way of remaining true to his people and making sure they aren't forgotten. it's a powerful symbol of how he's keeping their culture and beliefs alive even though the fire nation tried to wipe them out."

now that's not a bad argument, in theory. the problem, though, is that if this is the resolution of aang's arc, it has to be a direct response to a conflict established in said arc... and remaining true to air nomad values is not a struggle the show ever set up for aang until the finale.

not once in any of the previous seasons does aang seem to be forgetting his people's ideals, or losing his identity through assimilation, or struggling to reconcile his air nomad beliefs with the ideas he's encountering in this new, changed world. there isn't a long-term, sustained arc about him being worried or concerned about air nomad culture dying out completely, or about taking on the burden of keeping it alive. in fact, the only episode that does reckon with this theme in any capacity - the northern air temple - seems to push the opposite message: that aang should move on and adapt to this changing world instead of remaining mired in the past, and protecting the culture of a people long gone.

(note: i don't like how the NAT episode handled this theme, but for the purposes of this post, we will take it as it was written.)

both zuko and aang are characters whose arcs revolve around change, but if zuko's arc is about moving back to who he truly is, then aang's arc is about moving forward. it's about going from the last airbender to the avatar - about drawing wisdom from different places, about immersing himself in the practices, beliefs and cultures of the other nations, and learning to value them as he values his own.

it's the classic want vs need: what aang wants is to be nothing more than a goofy, peaceful airbender but what he needs is to become a fully-realized avatar, the embodiment of four nations in one. and this conflict is established and re-established repeatedly over three seasons, most especially in his struggle to learn earthbending and firebending, both of which called for him to adopt new perspectives and beliefs contrary to his own.

this is why aang refusing to kill ozai feels so narratively unfulfilling, because it's the complete antithesis of what the show established for aang's narrative over three seasons. the plot point of his absolute pacifism not only comes out of left field (where was this problem when he was going to battle ozai during the eclipse?), it's also incongruous with the depiction of other air nomads in the series (both yangchen and gyatso don't seem to practice absolute pacifism) and with where aang's own arc appeared to be leading.

additionally, it also conflicts with the thematic clash that the aang vs ozai fight is supposed to represent: what was meant to be balance and harmony vs dominance and supremacy now turns into... air nomad beliefs vs fire nation beliefs, which runs contrary to the fundamental message of the entire show. not exactly what you want for the final battle between your protagonist and antagonist!

all of this is not to say that aang should have gone turbo avatar state on ozai and singlehandedly yeeted him into the spirit world. but there were a dozen other ways to handle ozai's end: give him a disney death, let aang learn energybending of his own accord and incapacitate him the way katara took down azula, or - my personal favourite - bring in the spirits in a neat parallel to the book 1 finale, and have ozai's death be a consequence of the imbalance he propagated in the world (i've always felt the avatar being the spirit bridge was a plotline that kinda got shafted in book three, and bringing back someone like koh, for instance, would've slapped).

the point is that for the resolution of aang's arc to be thematically consistent with the established narrative (the validity of this narrative, and whether it should have been different, is another point entirely, but it cannot be denied that this is what the show chose to go with), he needed to place the values and beliefs of the other nations on equal footing with his own, and win because of this willingness to draw from all nations instead of relying solely on his own.

ultimately, remaining true to his compassionate, peaceful nature is not a struggle in aang's narrative the way that it is in zuko's, which is why him choosing to spare ozai doesn't have anywhere near the emotional resonance or satisfaction of zuko reaching out to zhao. meanwhile, the conflict that does characterize aang's arc - being forced to become the avatar - never comes to a meaningful resolution the way that zuko's does. rather, it's thrown out the window in favour of a last minute plot point that robs aang of both agency and development, and destroys the thematic cohesion of his narrative for nothing.

#zuko #aang critical #aang's writing critical more like

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whenmemorydies · 5 months ago

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The restaurant could be good.

Why did Syd call herself an accomplice in 3x05 Children?

I was re-reading @yannaryartside's fantastic meta about this (and you should too) and it got me thinking. In their meta, OP asks:

Is Syd (or her leaving) supposed to be a wake-up call to Carmy? That he fucked up something that brought him genuine joy and connection because Syd knew the real him, while Claire liked Logan and Carmy's brokenness? The way Claire would enable him in his bad tendencies? How is he gonna realize all that?

Honestly, I don't know what these writers have planned for how Carmy comes to the realisation that season 3 Carmy is not it lol. But I have one suspicion about how it might go, and it has less to do with Carmy and more to do with Syd.

We have to go back to season 1 where it all started. Where Sydney met Carmy and articulated within the first three episodes of the show, her hopes for her future and the future of The Beef.

Recall 1x02 Hands and the convo between her and Richie in Richie's car:

Sydney: You know the restaurant could be good. Like I know you know that. Like it doesn't have to be a place where the food is shitty, and where everybody acts shitty and feels shitty. Like it could be a good legit spot.

Cut to season 3, after Syd and Carmy have overhauled the restaurant and everyone is...well...acting shitty, feeling shitty and the food is looking like a damn mess:

Also recall the alley chat in 1x03 Brigade:

Sydney: You know, I think this place could be so different from all the other places we've been at. But in order for that to be true, we need to run things different.

Then cut to season 3 where we have EC Carmy decidedly not running things different at The Bear. Instead, he repeats toxic communication and management styles from his past:

Recall 1x05 Sheridan and Sydney's vulnerability with Carmy about why she started her catering business, Sheridan Road, after leaving the restaurant scene:

Sydney: Like it was the first time I didn't have a complete and utter psychopath behind me screaming, and pushing and yelling, and I thought I wanted that, you know?

Cut to season 3 and, well, you know the drill: behold our fav Executive Jeff acting like an utter psychopath and partaking in some screaming, pushing and yelling.

So what happened in season 3? Why have things gone in almost the exact opposite direction of what Sydney hoped for in season 1?

To my mind, the answer to that question lies in season 2 and what both Syd and Carmy were doing during that season. Yes, Syd spent most of season 2 setting up the restaurant alone while Carmy played hooky with Claire. But what was more striking to me was the contrast in effort that both of them put into actually doing things different at the restaurant (as per their pledge to each other during the alley chat of 1x03 Brigade).

Breaking cycles

I agree with @yannaryartside: Carmy playing hooky with Claire in season 2 was him numbing himself (i.e. Claire is the drug that he was addicted to for this purpose). I also reckon he was using Claire as another way to keep Mikey in his life - a reverse-engineered haunt - particularly while the most obvious physical manifestation of Mikey in the present day (The Beef itself) was being transformed into something else entirely. That kind of change - that kind of loss - couldn't have been easy for Carmy, particularly as The Bear was something he had wanted to open with this brother in the first place. I get why Carmy would "self-medicate" with Claire to try and numb some of the pain he may have felt, I really do.

But while Carmy was spending so much of his time either avoiding or dulling his pain, it meant he had little time or energy for working through these things. We know that he has been making attempts at this particularly in relation to his familial trauma and grief (as evidenced by his attendance at Al-Anon meetings). But throughout seasons 1-3 we see almost no work on Carmy's part to address the abuse and trauma that he's experienced in professional kitchens. We do not see him trying to prepare himself for the task of leading an entire restaurant. The first and only time we see Carmy start this process is in the last episode of season 3, when he bravely confronts Chef David Fields at the funeral dinner for Ever.

Now admittedly, Sydney does not have the history of familial abuse that Carmy does. But as discussed above, she does share a history of professional abuse in the restaurant industry with him. Its why the two of them make that promise to each other to do things different in 1x03 Brigrade.

To this end, Sydney spends almost all of season 2 working to enhance her leadership skills to make herself better for the staff she'll be leading as CDC of The Bear. Recall her book, Leading with the Heart by Mike Krzyzewski (Chicago-born, Polish-American and hugely successful former basketball coach of the Duke University Blue Devils and the American national basketball team), gifted to her by her father, Emmanuel:

In the beginning of 2x07 Forks, we follow Sydney as she surveys The Bear during renovations and while she works on a menu idea. This opening sequence features the following narration from an interview with Krzyzewski (which reiterates the show's ongoing message that none of us are alone, particularly when we take the time to listen to one another):

The other thing is that you're not gonna get there alone. You know, be on a team. You know, surround yourself with good people and learn how to listen.

You're not gonna learn with you just talking.

And when you do talk, converse. Don't make excuses. Figure out the solution. And you don't have to figure it out yourself.

I always wanted to be part of a team and obviously I wanted to lead that team. You know, [...] what an interesting life it is to be a leader.

The advice Coach K gives in the above monologue is also mirrored in Marcus' eulogy for his mother where he spoke about the importance of listening. It's also gold advice for how to be consistent in relationship to others. I've spoken here about the themes of chaos and consistency on this show and how one of Carmy's battles is understanding that,

[C]onsistency in terms of a product (e.g. a clean kitchen every night or immaculately plated dishes each service) and consistency in terms of relationships are two different things. You can strive for consistent products but destroy all your relationships in the pursuit of them. Conversely, if you strive for consistency in your relationships, you may not always make consistent products (and quite frankly, that's OK - is a perfectly plated agnolotti dish worth Carmy's relationship with Tina? Is driving Syd to a panic attack worth Carmy's pursuit of a star? I think not on both counts).

Sydney took the time throughout season 2 to learn how to be consistent and effective as a leader. She knew - and knows - that simply being an excellent chef is not going to cut it when it comes to running a restaurant and leading a team. This took time and effort on her part but she was committed to making The Bear different to all the other places she'd been at, so she did it. I should also note that Syd did this internal work while menu-planning and trying to push herself culinarily. She was doing so much lifting. Jealousy of Claire aside, I am surprised Syd didn't rip Carmy a new one when he talked about rejigging the menu while at his girl-who's-a-friend's house lmao.

Cut to season 3 though, and Syd is running The Bear with Carmy who has spent the entire season not having put in the work to change the chemistry in their restaurant. Of course Syd tries to counter this as best she can. She runs interference with the team and gently tries to steer the ship. But as she says in 3x09 Apologies, things have been off at The Bear.

So when Syd tells us in 3x05 Children that she's an accomplice, I can't help but feel that in her heart, Sydney believes she's an accomplice in the betrayal of their vision - Sydney and Carmy's shared vision for The Bear - from season 1. The vision she worked so hard during season 2 to bring to fruition.

By season 3, they've betrayed it and each other: family style is no where to be found and The Bear looks and feels like all the other places Syd and Carmy have been at. While exhausting for Carmy ("I'm so fucking sick of this"), this would have been devastating for Syd, given all she's done to try and avoid this outcome. You can understand why she'd consider an offer like Shapiro's (though we know she's not going to take it).

Given the events of 3x10, where Carmy confronts Chef David and has that heart-to-heart with Chef Terry, its clear his perspective on Michelin mode is starting to shift. I think the threat of losing Sydney will scare the shit out of him too. But what I think will prompt Carmy to actually change his behaviour in season 4 is the realisation that he too is an accomplice and has betrayed not just himself but Sydney and their team as well. Season 4 will necessarily need to be told, at least in part, from Syd's perspective so that the impact of this on Syd is made clear to the audience (Storer and Calo, are you listening? Its me, a desperate fan). And once Carmy recognises his role in continuing the traumatic professional legacy championed by Chef Fields, he can get into working through and breaking that cycle. I'll be seated and ready for it.

#sydcarmy #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #the bear meta #the bear season 3

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novelmonger · 6 months ago

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I am now (finally) embarking on the last of the LotR audio commentaries I never listened to before: the Production/Post-Production one, with Barrie Osborne (producer), Mark Ordesky (executive producer), Andrew Lesnie (director of photography), John Gilbert (editor), Rick Porras (co-producer), Howard Shore (composer), and Jim Rygiel (visual effects supervisor). A lot more Americans in this group than the previous ones have been. I feel much more out of my depth with this one in terms of figuring out who's talking, but let's see what new stuff they have to say for FotR!

The sound from when Sauron explodes comes from a bunch of sounds they recorded both inside and outside ships in the harbor, as well as the sounds of WWII airplane propellers.

The scenes with Gollum in the prologue were actually some of the last shots they filmed for FotR.

The farmers around the area where they filmed Hobbiton would warn them when people would turn up who weren't supposed to be there, with cameras and whatnot, as well as warning them when planes or choppers would be overhead, so they could prevent (as much as possible) from footage leaking before the movie was released. That warms my heart :)

They used the analogy of a "shell game" when talking about all the different techniques they used to keep the proportions of characters correct with their different sizes. Because they would switch up the techniques between shots, it helped sell the overall effect, because you're not just always looking at a scale double or a bluescreen or what-have-you.

In the scene with Bilbo and Gandalf in the kitchen, they used forced perspective, with the table cut in half so that everything is small for Gandalf and the right size for Bilbo. When Bilbo pours the tea into the teapot, Gandalf handles a small lid on his side, putting it on a little rod that holds it in the right position so it looks like it's sitting on the teapot. Meanwhile, the actual teapot is on Bilbo's side so he can pour the water into it. Also, when Gandalf is first sitting down at the table and turning to get his legs underneath it, if you look closely you can see that when he bumps up against it, the half of the table closer to the camera jiggles a little, but the other half doesn't because it was actually some 5-10 feet away.

In the shot at the party that pans down from the fireworks and the tree, the actual party with all the dancing and everything was shot in a set, so they had to go back to the Hobbiton location (which had already been cleared of the set at that point, I think) and match up that shot to get the tree, and then they composited it together.

The direction for that shot of Minas Tirith when Gandalf goes to research the Ring was to make it look like "Constantinople in the morning." This may be my favorite part of this commentary :)

They needed to scan actors' faces so they could have their digital doubles to work with for certain shots. When they brought in Ian McKellen to scan his face, they said, "We just need to scan your face in a neutral position." He said, "Neutral for me or neutral for Gandalf?" And he demonstrated his own neutral expression, and when he switched to neutral Gandalf, he looked completely different, pursing his lips and furrowing his eyebrows and sucking his cheeks in more. Truly the sign of a gifted actor who knows how to ply his craft.

In the scene where Frodo and Sam are trying to sleep on the road for the first time, originally they were going to end with some sort of animal sniffing around them. First it was a deer, and they also tried a rabbit and maybe some other animals (possible fox appearance???). But that part didn't even make it into the Extended Edition.

Something I never thought about that they had to pay attention to was, because Orthanc is made of shiny material, they had to consider the color and quality of the light reflecting off it. So when they filmed the real location, they would take the camera and pan around the location, then print out stills and put them up around the miniature when they filmed that part of the shot, so they could get the right colors to match each shot they would composite over it, so it would look like both were in the same place. Now that's what I call attention to detail!

On the night they shot the little chase sequence with the Nazgul in the forest, it was actually raining off and on, even though you can't really see it in the movie. That made the ground very muddy, so the Hobbits actually had to be carried back to their first position for each new take so they wouldn't get too much mud on their feet and clothes.

To get the sounds of the trees' "voices" when the orcs in Isengard tear them down, they actually used several animal sounds like whales, moreso than sounds recorded from actual trees.

Bob Anderson, the swordmaster for the films, said they needed to have five copies of every sword for every actor every day they were going to be fighting with them, because that's how likely it is for them to be broken (since the swords actors use for hitting each other are lighter and not made like a real sword). But Richard Taylor wanted to find a way to make the swords more durable, because there are a lot of swords in these movies. So Weta developed a technique to help the stunt swords redistribute the shock from hitting them against each other. They took polyurethane, which Mark Ordesky notes is the same material as skateboard wheels, and they made a sort of sheath of that under the surface of the hilt. None of the swords they made like that ever broke.

The tree that gets thrown down into the chasm in Isengard had to be a miniature so they could get it high enough to drop it as far as they wanted to (and so they wouldn't have to cut down a huge tree). But they had to add little springs and things to make the branches bounce and jiggle properly, rather than just break off, as they would if you just made a little model tree. Little details like that really sell the scale.

In the Nazgul horseback chase scene, they cleared a path for the horses to safely run through the forest. But then they would also get branches and put them on the car or whatever vehicle had the camera, so it would look like they were pushing through more dense foliage, while still keeping the actors and horses safe.

The Council of Elrond was the final piece of the sound mix they had to finish for FotR, and it was down to a matter of hours. One of the things they mentioned having difficulty figuring out what to do with was the moment when Frodo sets the Ring down on the plinth. Originally, there was going to be a murmur of the crowd watching, but it didn't seem to have the gravitas and stunned awe necessary for that moment, so they had to play around with a lot of things before Peter Jackson was satisfied with it.

When Gimli smashes the Ring with his axe, John Rhys-Davies was actually only holding an empty handle, and the axe head was added digitally later so it could shatter.

Barrie Osborne (I think?) commented on something at least Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan, especially Dom, started to do in order to make it more believable that the primary actors and the scale doubles are the same people. He noticed that their scale doubles tended to move and walk in a certain way (I assume partly because most of them were Little People, so their physique and proportions are a bit different), and so instead of leaving it up to them to mimic his movements, he started changing the way he moved to match them. That's just really cool.

Originally, they were going to do a bit of a flashback when Boromir asks Aragorn, "Have you ever seen the white tower..." etc. It would have been shot in the same place as the scene where Aragorn is visiting his mother's grave, and would feature Elrond talking to Aragorn about how he's the only one who can wield Anduril and how he needs to take his place as the king of Gondor.

For some of the close-up shots of Gimli in the scene where they first head into Moria, they actually had to use a double - not a scale double! an actual guy who was the same size as John Rhys-Davies! - because John had such a bad reaction to the facial prosthetics that he had to go a few days in between each time he put it on. But he'd had the prosthetics on the day before, and they didn't have time to wait until he could put them on again. So they had to find a double, put on the prosthetics and costume, and then John stood out of frame and spoke the lines, and the double mouthed the words along with him. I would never have guessed!

THANK YOU TO WHOEVER WAS TALKING AND I'M SORRY I COULDN'T RECOGNIZE YOUR VOICE FOR SURE, but someone was talking about "cinematic dark." In other words, how to light a scene so you can see everything that's happening even though you're in a place with hardly any light sources, like in Moria where the only light comes from the torch and Gandalf's staff most of the time. Instead of making it all really dark (*pointed stare at too many movies these days*), they shot it as if there is a source of light, but always very far away, like it's filtering through miles of rocky caverns or something. What that meant practically was that they would only light the characters in silhouette or from the side, never the front. So it would still give the impression that they're in darkness, but you don't have to strain at all to make out what's happening. They also desaturated the colors so everything looked muted, similar to how your vision kind of goes black-and-white in the dark.

One of the fundamental elements for the Moria goblin screeches was an opossum screech. There was some kind of opossum research facility in Wellington that they went to to record what became the foundation of the goblin sounds. Then they took them and re-recorded them in some WWII tunnels to get the right echoey reverb effect. And then for the sounds of them moving, they took sounds from insects like grasshoppers, as well as rattling seashells from the beach against the walls of the tunnels to get a scuttling sort of sound for when they come pouring out of holes in the ceiling.

You know that one shot where Legolas fires an arrow at a goblin archer and the camera follows the arrow all the way into his forehead? I always assumed that whole thing was all CG, but no! Even that had a practical element to it! They set up a camera on a sort of zip line with a bungee cord and sent it down as fast as it could go towards an actual stunt guy in costume! Now that's what I call above and beyond.

They shot a scene that didn't make it into even the Extended Edition of the Fellowship arguing about what they should do next after they leave Moria, with some members having misgivings about going to Lothlorien. I wish we could see that, even though I understand why they needed to keep things moving. They didn't mention if they actually shot this or if it was scrapped by the time they got that far, but there was also a mention of the entry to Lothlorien being much more frantic, as they're chased by orcs and then rescued by a sudden volley of Elven arrows.

There was also once a longer scene between Boromir and Frodo as they're waiting to see if Haldir will let them into Lothlorien. He tells Frodo a story of him getting over the death of one of his comrades. Um...I wanna see these extra scenes!!!

They wanted Lothlorien to feel ethereal and maybe almost slightly in a different universe, because of the Elves and especially Galadriel, who can see into hearts and minds. One of the ways they did that was by diffusing the light on the set so everything seems kind of dreamy. Another way they tweaked things was by bringing out the blues and edging them towards lavender. Yes, yes, Lothlorien is supposed to be golden, but after hearing the explanation about how lavender is actually one of the hardest colors to get to look right on film (the word used was "fragile") and to look good against skin tones, and therefore you don't see it very much in the movies, I can appreciate the subtle ways they tried to make Lothlorien feel distinct.

Originally, they were going to have a scene where the Fellowship goes through some rapids on the Anduin and get ambushed by orc archers. Ultimately, they decided they didn't need that as a story beat at that point, and it would have been very difficult to shoot anyway. Makes me wonder if that influenced the infamous barrel scene from the Hobbit movies, like they dug up some old plans for that....

Except for one wide shot where they used a scale double for Frodo, the entire confrontation between Boromir and Frodo was shot just with Sean Bean and Elijah Wood, no special effects, just strategic blocking and using the slope and different angles to their advantage to always make it look like Frodo is smaller than Boromir.

If I understood Howard Shore correctly, he was inspired to use a boy's choir for Boromir's death when he saw Boromir, after falling to his knees from the first arrow or two, looking up at Merry and Pippin. Boys singing at his death gives a sense of lost innocence, which is appropriate both to Boromir trying to take the Ring as well as to the lost innocence of losing the Hobbits. So it's not just a lament for Boromir, it's also his lament for (as he thinks in the moment, because he knows he's dying) failing the Hobbits.

The original mix for Boromir's death had all the sound effects at full volume, which made the moment even more brutal. Mark Ordesky was saying that he (and probably some others) was thinking it might be better if they pulled back on some of the sound and let the music be louder. Peter Jackson said, "Well, let's try it," and as soon as they turned down the volume, the entire room basically agreed immediately that's how they needed to do it. It's meant to sound and feel almost like you're sinking underwater as Boromir is dying, because that's how it would sound and feel for him.

Oh my goodness, further proof that studio execs shouldn't have a say in the story of a movie. New Line wanted the movie to end with Frodo and Sam paddling across the river, and then an Uruk bursts up from underwater and grabs Frodo, pulling him out of the boat. The Ring somehow comes off the chain, and the Uruk is so enamored with it that he ends up drowning while trying to grab it. Then Sam somehow gets Frodo (and the Ring) back into the boat. Thank goodness they came up with the much better ending we all know and love. Because the people actually involved with writing the movie and telling its story knew that the ending of FotR needs to be about the breaking of the Fellowship, about love and loyalty in the face of great evil. So that's why they went with the ending they did: Sam falls into the water and almost drowns, Frodo saves him, and that paves the way for the incredible emotional high of Frodo leaving the Fellowship, but Sam going with him. And just like Frodo is thinking about how Gandalf talked about how he was meant to find the Ring, Sam is thinking about how Gandalf told him not to leave Frodo. It all ties together so much better.

The last shot for the film was Boromir going over the waterfall. It was in the final cut of the movie just as a previs shot, and Barrie Osborne said he assumed it was going to be a CG effect or something. But finally, while Peter Jackson was in London working on scoring the film - so pretty late in the production - Barrie called him and asked when they were going to shoot that scene. Peter Jackson had forgotten about it! So Barrie had to shoot it, and since they didn't have the actors in New Zealand at that point, they had to get Weta to make a silicon dummy to shoot instead.

#lord of the rings #lotr #fellowship of the ring #behind the scenes

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