#this ramble is really long now and I feel like y'all get the point

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 6

"Your Body Is A Weapon" by the Wombats

[jeonginsleftcheek]

A little help and more

pairing: virgin!felix x virgin!afab!reader x experienced!chan

genre: smut, fluff

word count: 5.7k

description: felix and you need a little guidance and chris is more than happy to assist.

warnings: threesome(obviously), sub!felix, switch!reader, dom!chan, oral (f and m receiving), handjobs, cumshots, squirting, nipple play, fingering, unprotected sex (p in v), little bit of ass play, dirty talk, lots of pet names (lmk if i missed something)

a/n: chan is called chris in this fic, established relationship, this turned out a little more fluffier than i thought it would be ehehe, hope y'all enjoy this one too🤭🩷

~check out my: Masterlist

Dating Felix was one of the best things you've ever decided to do and you knew that, even if it's barely been half a year since he first asked you to be his girlfriend.

You were always a little shy when it came to relationships but Felix was even more shy than you and it took him a long time just to ask you out on a date or to hold your hand.

You found it endearing really, it made him seem more sweet and genuine, like he wasn't coming onto you too strongly and you liked that.

But in certain situations you wished he was a little more assertive even if you didn't mind taking the lead, you had a bit more experience than he did and you wanted to take your physical relationship to the next level, share that intimate moment with him.

But Felix would always back out before anything too risky happened, and you worried he didn't find you attractive so you decided to confront him about it.

He got so embarassed when you pointed it out, his cheeks blushing instantly as he avoided your eyes and played with his fingers.

He reassured you that it's not your fault, and confessed that you were actually his first girlfriend, that he never even kissed anyone before. You were shocked, thinking that there's no way that someone as beautiful and sweet as him was single until now.

Felix never told you that before, thinking you weren't gonna date him if you thought he was clueless and inexperienced, he felt so bad for withholding the truth from you that you could see his eyes become watery.

You were quick to comfort him, telling him that you understand and that it's okay, you don't mind him being a virgin, you actually found it kind of adorable. You weren't that much more experienced than him anyways, you only ever went to second base with a guy you dated briefly before Felix and he seemed relieved to hear that, you were going to get into it for the first time together and that made it even more special.

After that talk, you were sure your boyfriend was going to relax and maybe try not to always be so respectful with his hands and lips.

But, the next time you initiated a makeout session, as soon as your hand slid up his thigh, he jerked away from you, apologizing profusely after doing so.

"Felix, what's wrong?"- you asked, frustration building up inside you but he looked so panicked that you tried to be as gentle as you could with him.

"I'm- I'm sorry love, it's just- I don't know what to do and I'm scared that I'll do something wrong or that it won't feel good to you. I know it seems like I don't want it, but I really do. I really want you. I just don't want to disappoint you."- he rambles, fidgeting with his hands.

"Lixie, you could never disappoint me. I don't know what I'm doing either but we can learn together."- you try to reassure him, placing your hand on his.

"I wish we had some help."- he says and you chuckle as his ears become red. "I- I didn't mean it like that. Maybe we could- um... watch some porn together?"- he asks quietly and you giggle, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

"You're really cute, you know that?"- you ask, kissing his nose and he laughs. "We can try that."

And you tried it but Felix got even more embarassed when you found a video to watch, covering his growing erection with a pillow and avoiding your gaze.

The arousal you felt was once again replaced by the frustration, the only reason you were so patient with him is because you really cared for him and didn't want to do anything that would make him feel uncomfortable or unsafe with you.

But then, a little light bulb turned on above your head as you accidentally came across a threesome video, and the knowledge of Felix being the type of person to learn things best when they're hands on, you decided to ask him what if you actually had someone there to help you?

And Felix admitted he had the same exact thought before, but was afraid to suggest it in case you thought it was gross.

Both of you laughed at your predicament and together you brainstormed on how to approach this and who to ask for help.

Your best option was Chris, your mutual friend who both of you always went to for advice and comfort. You trusted him completely and you knew he had experience and could help you out without judging you.

He was surprised at your proposition but he wasn't opposed to it, Chris just needed some time to process what you were suggesting to him.

And when he accepted, the three of you sat down and discussed your boundaries, and came to the conclusion that it's best to start out with something vanilla. You were both kinda excited to see how this would go, but neither of you knew just how much you would get.

-

That Saturday evening, the three of you sit in your room and even though you tried to make the atmosphere as chill as you could with scented candles and dim lights, Felix was still vibrating with nervousness.

You were nervous too, more so excited and Chris chuckled at the both of you, finding you so adorable in that moment.

"Why don't you start with some kissing? Maybe it'll help you relax if you start like you normally do and act like I'm not here."- Chris suggests.

"Okay, sounds good."- you nod, cupping your boyfriend's face and pressing your lips into his. You can feel Felix slightly relax against you and kissing you back gently, one of his arms curling around your waist timidly.

Chris watches the innocent kiss shared between you and something stirs inside him, his eyes narrowing and tongue darting out to wet his lips.

You're just kissing slowly with your lips, no tongue yet and both of you are already getting hot and bothered. Chris observes the way you keep pressing your lips harder into your boyfriend's while he squirms, his hand grabbing at your shirt.

You run your tongue on Felix's bottom lip and he parts his lips, letting you in. The wet sounds of your tongues dancing together make Chris grow in his pants.

He doesn't want to just watch anymore, he wants to taste the both of you. You part for air and notice that Chris is now sitting closer to you, your heart skips a beat in anticipation.

His big hand rests on your cheek, and you can hear Felix breathing hard next to you. Your big eyes stare up at Chris as he leans in and captures your lips in his.

He's different than Felix, more dominant and sure of himself and you melt into him, letting him take control. The different dynamic makes arousal drip on your panties as your hands come up to grab at Chris's biceps.

Chris bites on your lip a little and you gasp, opening your mouth for him to push his tongue in. The way he swirls it around yours has you dizzy and you hold onto him, pressing your thighs together and moaning into his mouth.

Felix should be jelaous that another man is making you feel like that when he never did, but all he feels is arousal as his cock strains and twitches in his pants. He wants to touch himself so badly, but he's still embarassed and doesn't want to seem too eager.

When the two of you part, Chris turns to Felix who looks up at him with glassy innocent eyes and Chris smirks.

"You want some too?"- he asks and Felix nods fervently making you giggle at his cuteness.

Your boyfriend's face is flushed, the redness spreading to his neck as Chris cradles his head and starts kissing him. You notice the way Felix jolts and kisses back sloppily as Chris presses his lips into his roughly. Felix whimpers and Chris pushes his tongue in, tasting your boyfriend and making his eyes roll back.

The way Chris is leaning over your boyfriend, his head thrown back as he grabs at your friend's shirt make you feel extremely hot and your hand wanders between your legs as you gently press on your clit.

Your fingers move in circles as your eyes get hazy looking at the sight before you. Chris leans away from Felix who looks absolutely disheveled, his hair messy, eyelids droopy and a dribble of drool sliding from the corner of his lips.

"Baby, are you feeling neglected?"- Chris chuckles, beckoning you to come closer and you crawl closer to them, joining them in a kiss.

It's a mess of tongue, teeth and moans as the three of you kiss and touch each other.

"So, you never went any further than this?"- Chris asks.

"Well, after neck kisses is usually when we stop."- you say, and Felix looks down at his lap, feeling embarassed. You gently place your hand on his and squeeze and he looks up at you, giving you a sweet smile.

"Okay, show me."- Chris smirks and you lean in closer to Felix. He throws his head back as soon as your lips touch him, eyes shut tight as you leave wet kisses on his soft skin. Chris decides to join in and he kneels behind Felix, moving his hair out of the way as he starts kissing the back of his neck.

"Ah!"- Felix whimpers, his hands instantly grabbing at yours, it's too much stimulation for him already. Both of you are giving him all the attention right now as you place his hands on your waist, crawling even closer to him where you're almost sitting in his lap. Your hands are roaming on his chest and abs, and Chris places his hands on Felix's hips, pressing himself closer to your boyfriend, his teeth nipping at his sensitive skin.

Felix mewls between you, his head resting on Chris's shoulder as you sink your teeth in and start sucking on his skin, your hand sliding under his shirt, fingertips brushing at him.

"Mm- too much..."- Felix whines as Chris licks a stripe on his neck, then leaves little bites, his big hands gripping at Felix's thighs.

You lean back and look at your boyfriend and Chris smirks behind him.

"Why don't we give your beautiful girlfriend the same treatment?"- Chris asks lowly and you shiver, biting on your lip. Felix nods in a daze and you get comfortable as he leans in. His lips are gentle on your skin and he leaves sweet little kisses as Chris joins him, kissing the other side of your neck a bit more strongly.

The difference between their kisses and the stimulation you're receiving make you hot again and Chris notices you squirming around. His hand gently comes up to cup your breast, before he leans back and looks at Felix. Your boyfriend nips at your skin, like he's afraid to bite into it harder but you don't mind in this moment, you're already so turned on that even the smallest touch makes you crumble.

"Have you ever touched her breasts?"- Chris asks Felix and you feel your face burning as he gently squeezes you.

"N-no."- Felix whimpers, looking at Chris's hand.

"Do you want to?"- he smirks.

"Yes, yes, I want to!"- Felix nods fast and Chris takes his hand, placing it on your breast. You moan a little as Felix gasps and squeezes you.

"You can do it like this."- Chris says as he grabs your other boob, massaging it and running his thumb on your nipple that's now becoming perky and visible under your shirt since you didn't wear a bra.

Felix looks at Chris's hand like he's mesmerized and he repeats everything exactly as Chris is showing him.

You moan, arching into their touch, becoming desperate for more friction and more action.

"Do you play with your boobs when you touch yourself, y/n?"- Chris asks, leaving little kisses on your jaw.

"Y-yes."- you whimper.

"Show us."- Chris leans back, and Felix follows him.

You oblige, taking your shirt off and tossing it aside. Felix practically drools at the sight of your breasts and you don't waste any time as you start playing with your nipples, running your fingers on them and pinching them.

Chris can see how desperate Felix is to touch them, his eyes bulging out of his skull as he traces every movement you make with your fingers.

You moan quietly, eyes closed as you get into it.

"P-please..."- Felix says suddenly and you open your eyes.

"What do you want, baby?"- you ask.

"Your- your- i wanna touch-" - Felix mutters, clearly still embarassed.

Chris chuckles on the side, his hand coming up to touch Felix's cheek.

"Tell her what you want, Lix. Use your words."- Chris commands him and your boyfriend whimpers.

"Your titties- I want them in my mouth."- Felix whines, his eyes glassy and you smirk, arching towards him.

"Come here, baby."- you say and Chris presses the back of his head, gently pushing him towards your breast. Felix eagerly wraps his lips around your nipple and starts sucking.

"Mm."- you moan, staring at him as he looks up at you sweetly. Chris is getting incredibly hard in his pants and he accidentally grips Felix's hair.

Felix moans around you, sucking more harshly as his cock twitches in his pants.

"You like this, Lix?"- Chris asks curiously, pulling on your boyfriend's hair again.

He whimpers around you again, hands now gripping at your thighs as he trembles.

"I-I didn't know you liked it rough, Lixie."- you smirk at your boyfriend.

Felix closes his eyes, the attention is on him again and Chris can sense that he's getting embarassed again so he turns back to you, his hand on your other breast as he starts playing with it.

"You can use your tongue Lix, like this."- Chris leans in and starts flicking your nipple with his tongue. You mewl, gripping at the blanket under you and Felix follows suit, flicking his tongue just like Chris.

You almost fall apart at the double stimulation, more arousal gushing on your panties and you just want to be fucked, even if it's just fingers, you need someone to touch your dripping cunt.

You reach your hand towards Felix, tugging at his shirt and he leans back.

"Take it off."- you say and Felix becomes more red as he slowly takes off his shirt.

You've seen him shirtless already but in this moment of arousal it's like you're seeing him for the first time ever and the sight makes you drool.

"What about you?"- you ask Chris and he smirks.

"How about we all strip completely? I can see you're both so desperate to be touched."- he says and you nod, getting to it immediately.

"I- Can I stay in my boxers just for a little while more?"- Felix asks timidly.

"Sure."- you say and the three of you strip, Felix still in his boxers and his eyes are glued to your glistening cunt.

On the other hand, you gasp as Chris takes off his underwear, his cock springing out for the two of you to see.

"Oh... it's so big."- Felix gulps, almost mesmerized and Chris chuckles deeply.

"Yeah? Like what you see?"- he asks your boyfriend and you giggle, your hand on Felix's thigh, gently grabbing it and massaging it.

"I mean- yeah..."- Felix nods, looking at his lap again.

"Are you still feeling shy, baby?"- you ask.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I'm not as big as Chris."- he says quietly.

"That really doesn't matter, darling."- you say sincerely, your hands lifting up to cradle his face, making him look at you.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, Lix. This is a safe space, okay?"- Chris says and your boyfriend nods before taking a deep breath in as he hooks his fingers in his boxers.

He slides them down and his cock springs out, the tip pink and glistening with precum, it's smaller than Chris's but chubby and you instantly find yourself yearning to touch him.

"So pretty."- you say and Felix chuckles quietly.

"You think my dick is pretty?"- he asks.

"Very."- you nod and he laughs again, his cheeks becoming profusely red.

"I agree."- Chris comes closer to Felix, his hand resting on his thigh as he squeezes it and slowly slides it up. You can see his cock twitch the closer Chris gets to it.

"Is it okay if I touch you?"- he asks and Felix looks at you.

"If it's okay, I'd like y/n to touch me first."- Felix says timidly and Chris nods understandingly.

"Ofcourse, I'm just here to help out."- he smiles sweetly and you gulp, your hand lifting up as you scoot closer to your boyfriend.

You've never touched a dick before but you weren't scared, you were just nervous, wanting to make your boyfriend feel good. Your fingers wrap around him and Felix falls apart immediately.

Chris kneels behind him, his hands around Felix, fingertips brushing his skin as he tries to help him relax.

You slowly start moving your hand, only ever seeing how to do it in porn videos and you have no idea if you're doing it right but your boyfriend seems to be enjoying. He's arching into your touch, his head resting on Chris's shoulder again, eyes shut tight as sweet moans leave his lips.

Chris's hands come up to his nipples and he starts pinching them which makes Felix moan louder, his hips fucking his cock into your hand.

You're in awe at seeing your boyfriend a mumbling mess like this and his cock looks inviting to you, you want to taste him but you don't want to rush too much in case Felix gets embarassed again.

Chris notices the way you stare at Felix's cock hungrily and he smirks, his hands sliding down and grabbing a handful of Felix's ass.

"Oh my-"- your boyfriend whimpers, hips jerking forwards.

You're beyond turned on and you lean down.

"I wanna taste you, Lixie."- you say.

"Mm, yes please... Please..."- Felix whines and gasps as he looks down at you, desperation evident in his voice.

You lean in close, your tongue darting out experimentally to lick at his tip, licking off the salty precum. You would be embarassed to admit this but you researched how to give good head because you wanted to give your boyfriend the best blowjob you could.

You wrap your lips around him and start sucking as Felix mewls and grabs at your shoulders.

"Wow, babygirl knows what she's doing."- Chris smirks behind Felix and you smirk back at him with your mouth full of your boyfriends cock.

Chris finds you so pretty like that as you keep taking more of Felix's cock in your mouth and he needs some friction, so he presses his dick on your boyfriend's asscheek, one of his hands tangling in his hair and pulling his head back.

"Fuck-" - Felix jolts, accidentally pushing his hips into your face a little and making you gag from the sudden movement.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry love!"- he apologizes instantly.

"Lixie, it's okay, I don't mind."- you slide off of him to reassure him that he did nothing wrong.

"Relax, baby."- Chris whispers into Felix's ear, gripping his hair and kissing his neck as you take him in your mouth again.

Felix keeps whimpering and mumbling both of your names, falling apart between the two of you. Chris gently ruts against your boyfriend as you almost swallow him whole, quickly adjusting your mouth to his length and girth. You speed up, wetting his cock with your spit as Chris sucks a love bite into his skin.

"So much..."- Felix whines.

"Is it too much babyboy?"- Chris asks.

"Mhm."- Felix mutters.

"You love being sandwiched like this, don't you?"

"Yes, yes I do!"- Felix whines as Chris's hand curls around him to play with his balls. He jolts again and you take it sucking on him harder and Felix looks down at you and almost busts right then and there.

The sight of his sweet, beautiful girlfriend in a position like that with mouth full of his cock drives him insane.

"P-please... I'm close, I can't hold it in."- Felix whimpers, his hand gentle on your head as he tries to make you stop.

You moan around him as you keep going, your hands gripping at his thighs and Chris starts pinching Felix's nipples fast and hard and Felix can't hold himself together anymore. His moans get louder and louder, his hips timidly fucking into you, afraid that if he goes faster he might hurt you.

"Let go, baby."- Chris coos at him as he keeps playing with him and Felix shakes as his cock twitches, his cum shooting into your mouth and you swallow everything he gives you, savoring his taste and milking him dry as he whimpers, eyes teary and face red.

"Good boy."- Chris smirks and Felix shivers as you finally release him and sit back, licking your lips.

"Both of you did so well. How about you return the favor, Lix?"- Chris asks and you bite your lip.

"I want to!"- Felix nods eagerly.

"Lay down, sweetheart."- Chris coos at you, seeing how turned on you are from everything, aching to be touched, your eyes glassy and desperate.

You oblige, your legs falling open immediately and Felix moans just at the sight of your sweet cunt.

"Mm, please, wanna taste."- he whines as he leans in closer. "But I don't know what to do."- he adds, embarassed again.

"Do what feels natural to you. Kiss, lick, suck. I'll be here to guide you if you need it."- Chris tells him. "And y/n will tell you what she likes, right?"- he looks at you and you nod, anticipation making goosebumps rise on your skin.

Felix leans in, he's not that clueless, he knows what a clit is and how good it feels to touch, well at least from what he saw in porn so he tries, his tongue giving you little kitten licks.

Your legs jolt as he presses it into your clit and watches your reaction.

Chris lays on his side next to you, his hand running on your inner thigh as he leans in and kisses your collarbone and breast.

Felix is getting drunk on the taste of you, how you're getting more wet just from his tongue playing with your clit and he gently pulls open your folds before he pushes his tongue in, his eyes rolling back at the feeling. He loved you on your knees and sucking him in but he knows he loves this even more. Being between your legs, his tongue buried inside you as you look down at him, your body shivering, pretty moans coming out of your lips.

Chris's hand is on your breast, kneading and playing with your nipple, his other hand in Felix's hair as he pushes his head into you.

Felix moans into your cunt as Chris holds him down and your legs shake as Felix fucks you desperately with his tongue, lapping at you like your pussy is the tastiest treat he ever had.

You moan loudly, losing yourself in the pleasure, already close to the edge as your hands grip at the blanket below you.

Felix ruts his semi hard cock on the sheets below almost unconsciously and Chris thinks he looks so cute when he's desperate like that.

Chris leans in and starts sucking on your breast, his hand playing with the other one, his focus now on you, wanting to help bring you closer to your sweet release.

You're shaking under them, the stimulation is so much stronger than when you played with yourself and you can't take anymore, fireworks exploding inside you before you cum, your sweet juices covering Felix's tongue and lips.

He whines and laps at you, savoring your taste as his eyes close.

"Did so well, baby."- Chris praises you and leans in to kiss you as your boyfriend still makes out with your wet pussy. You're sensitive and your legs close around Felix's head making him groan into you.

"T-too much."- you whimper and Felix leans back, the look on his face completely fucked out as he stares at you. You know you probably look the same, your legs still slightly shivering from your orgasm.

Both you and Chris can see that Felix is fully hard again, but you turn to Chris, your hand finding his.

"Can we do something for you before we go further?"- you ask and Felix nods.

"Yeah, we wanna make you feel good too."- he licks his lips.

"Don't worry about me. This is about the two of you."- Chris waves his hand but you can see that he's painfully hard.

You sit up and push him down so his back leans on the headboard of the bed.

"Let us make you feel good."- you say, hands on his thighs as you lean down and start kissing his cock.

Chris grunts lowly at your cute innocent face as you wrap your lips around the head. Felix comes up next to you and Chris spreads his legs more to give you both more space. Felix gathers your hair in a makeshift ponytail, helping you as you slowly take more of Chris in your mouth, his cock too big for you but you're determined to try your best.

It's the least you can do when he indulged the two of you and accepted to help you in an intimate situation like this. You bob your head up and down, your hand working the rest of his cock and Felix watches closely as he holds your hair, drooling at the thought of tasting Chris's cock after you've sucked on it.

"Please, let me."- he begs and Chris chuckles at his eagerness as you pop off of him.

Felix wastes no time, engulfing him as much as he could, making himself gag immediately.

"Slow down, baby."- you chuckle and Felix whines around Chris, the vibrations making him shiver.

Tears gather in his eyes as Felix sucks on Chris fast, taking more and more in, his spit mixed with yours making everything slippery.

You don't think you've ever seen anything as hot as your pretty innocent boyfriend doing such dirty things, his eyes rolling back every time Chris's cock hits the back of his throat.

"Fuck- I won't last long!"- Chris moans, his thighs flexing under Felix's hands.

You're the one holding your boyfriend's hair now and a wicked thought runs through your mind as Chris's hips jerk up. You grip Felix's hair and push him down more making him gag and squirm as Chris explodes with a loud moan, shooting his cum into your boyfriend's mouth.

Felix gags but swallows as he has no choice but to do that, you're still holding him down and you notice how he ruts into the bed, obviously turned on by your ministrations.

You let him lift off only when he's done milking Chris's cock and then you grab his face making him gasp as you crash your lips into his.

Chris breathes hard, watching the two of you make out messily, the taste of him pouring into your mouth from Felix's lips.

"Lixie, I want you."- you mumble against his lips, your hand wrapping around his cock.

"Mm, I want you too love."- he moans.

He looks at Chris who's coming to his senses and Chris chuckles.

"W-will you help me out a little?"- your boyfriend asks timidly and you giggle as Chris nods and sits up.

You lay down against the pillows, your hands on the back of your thighs as you lift up and open your legs so your cunt is on full display.

Felix groans watching it clench around nothing.

"She feels empty, don't you baby?"- Chris asks and you nod fervently. His finger is on your clit as he slowly circles it and you moan pushing up into him.

"You have to prep her first."- he tells Felix and he nods, his fingertips on your folds as Chris keeps massaging your clit.

"P-please..."- you whine and Felix sinks two of his fingers slowly inside you, careful to be gentle as he grabs your breast and massages it.

Your eyes roll in the back of your head as the two men play with your pussy, Felix pushing in as deep as he can and moving slowly as Chris helps guide his wrist while he plays with your clit, flicking it and pinching it.

You're moaning loudly, letting go of everything as your slick drips down onto their hands and the sheets beneath you, making a mess. You've never been this wet or turned on and you start moving your hips up into their touch and Felix speeds up, fucking your pussy open for his cock.

"Oh my god, ah!"- you practically scream as you explode, squirting on their hands as Felix pulls his fingers out and gasps.

"Oh..."- you chuckle embarassingly at the sight, trying to catch your breath.

"That was so hot."- Felix whines, licking off his fingers. Before you or Chris can react he grabs Chris's wrist and puts his lips around two of his fingers, sucking on them and looking at Chris hazily.

"Lix loves his mouth stuffed, hm?"- Chris smirks as you lift up on your elbows and look at them.

Felix moans around his fingers before he pops off, tongue darting out to lick at his lips.

He turns to you and Chris kneels behind him as you grab your boyfriend's hands and bring him closer to you.

"Fuck me, Lixie, please! I can't wait anymore!"- you whimper.

Felix groans as Chris gently pushes him closer to you. He reaches around your boyfriend's body and gently grabs his cock. Felix mewls as he melts between both of you and Chris pushes him down, massaging your wet pussy with Felix's cock.

"Mm feels so good..."- he whines and Chris smirks, his cock is getting hard again and he can't help himself as it slides between Felix's asscheeks.

Felix gasps and almost jolts away but Chris holds him.

"It's okay, I won't do anything you don't want, Lix."- Chris reassures him and Felix nods.

"Is this okay?"- he asks as his cock slides against him.

"Mmm it's good, so good!"- Felix whines as his tip catches on your folds.

"Put it in, Lixie, give me your cock!"- you whine, impatient and craving to be stuffed full of your boyfriend's cute chubby cock.

He moans and slowly pushes in, Chris holding his hips and rutting into him slowly.

You groan at the stretch, your little cunt opening up to take him fully. Felix lets out a deep growl as he bottoms out, hands gripping at your body. Your hands end up around his shoulders and you look into his eyes.

"Move, baby."- you moan and Felix starts fucking you slowly to let you adjust, Chris following his pace and rutting into his ass.

You fall into a rhythm, the three of you rocking together, moaning and praising each other, hands grabbing everywhere.

"Feels good babygirl?"- Chris asks you and you moan in response.

"See, she's going a little dumb on your cock, Lix."- Chris smirks.

"Mm fuck..."- Felix whines. "So warm and tight."- he keeps whimpering as he pushes his cock into you as deep as he can.

Chris is close as he rubs against Felix, his hand coming around to play with your clit once again as Felix fucks into you harder. You see stars as your eyes shut tightly, head falling back.

Felix is a mumbling mess, hips jerking harshly as he drools and Chris speeds up, jerking his cock so his head is massaging Felix's hole.

"Ah, ah, ah!"- Felix moans constantly, stimulated on both ends and Chris chuckles darkly, his head pushing against his tight hole, teasing his entrance.

"You want me to stretch your tight ass while you fuck your girlfriend's sweet pussy, hm?"- Chris growls into his ear as he pulls his head back harshly.

"Mm, fuck yes, daddy!"- Felix whimpers loudly and then freezes when he realizes what he said. Your eyes snap open and Felix panicks.

"I'm sorry, I-I don't know why I said that."- his lips tremble, eyes watering.

"Hey, hey, don't cry."- Chris soothes him. "You can call me whatever you want, it's completely fine and I don't mind."

Felix looks at you and you bite on your lip, your eyes hazy as you were close to your release.

"It was hot, love. I don't mind either."- you say and Felix melts, hips moving slowly into yours again.

It doesn't take long for the three of you to get back into your rhythm and your orgasm builds up once more, as does Chris's. You cum first, exploding all over Felix's cock, clenching around him as Chris spills his seed on your boyfriend's ass and the back of his thighs. Your pussy holding onto his cock and Chris's cum painting him makes him lose his mind and he pulls out, jerking his cock and exploding all over your stomach and pulsating cunt.

The three of you have to take a few moments to calm down and clean up, Chris helping you change the sheets you made a mess off.

As you and Felix get ready to cuddle up, you notice Chris picking up his clothes.

"Where are you going?"- you ask, lifting your head up.

"Well, I helped you out. I mean, I don't want to overstay my welcome. I'm sure the two of you would like some time alone now."- he says, scratching the back of his neck shyly, his demeanor completely different than moments before.

"Stay with us."- Felix says, and Chris's eyes soften.

"Yeah, come here."- you beckon him with your finger and he chuckles, coming closer to the bed and getting comfortable behind Felix, who was curled up in you, his arm and leg wrapped around you.

You press a gentle kiss on your boyfriend's forehead as he mumbles, already half asleep.

"I love you both..."- he mutters into your neck.

You and Chris lock eyes and smile at each other.

"We love you too."

✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @bookobsessedfreak

[gods-perfect-idiots]

Okay bear with me folks, I have some ~thoughts~ about the Vanessa/Wade relationship (or frankly lack thereof) in Deadpool & Wolverine. I should start by saying that I am analyzing this with the (likely erroneous) assumption that everything on screen is 100% intentional and mindfully written to deepen the characters and inform their arcs. For the record, I don't necessarily believe that's true - there is certainly room for mistakes, lazy writing, confusing plot elements, or in this case, sidelining a potentially strong and important character for nebulous reasons (I'm guessing scheduling conflicts + run time concerns + actor's strike complications but idk for sure). (Also thanks to @gossippool and @kendyroy for encouraging me to post my thoughts instead of just rambling in the tags in the first place, y'all are the realest)

Long rambly post below the cut fyi

Now, granted, it has been a while since I watched the original Deadpool so I am not as well-versed in their early relationship as I am in the handful of scenes Morena Baccarin has in dp3, but I do think it is pretty canon that Wade generally struggles to express his deeper worries and feelings (without filtering it heavily through crude humor, sex, and pop culture references of course), especially after the events of dp1 and the physical and mental damage he sustains, and Vanessa is frankly no exception despite how much he cares for her. The entire first movie hinges on the fact that he doesn't really believe she could love him in his post-Francis mangled state, which is pretty contrived imo given that the film has established already how bonded they are, and she doesn't strike me as being written to be so shallow as to reject him based on a physical deformity. I mean iirc she wanted to stick around through chemo despite him being literally riddled with inoperable cancer, so she clearly is in it for the long haul (at least in dp1), messiness and all.

Now, in dp2, obviously she is shot and killed early in the film, and Wade spends much of the rest of the film wallowing in his very profound grief, trauma, and guilt over losing her due directly to his violent lifestyle. He goes to prison, he basically gives up on life and seems very resigned to dying once he has the power suppressant collar on, even excited to do so so he can be reunited with her. She is mostly sidelined as a Fuzzy Dead Wife trope basically, but the important thing here is that he spends weeks if not months in the throes of despair over losing the love of his life just as they were trying to start a family, and trying to reach across the boundaries of death to be with her.

Now, my first couple times watching dp3 I was frustrated by the trite narrative presented in the interview scene towards the beginning - specifically Wade's whole "my girl is getting tired of my shtick and I need to show her I matter". It felt contrived and disingenuous, and I just brushed it off as iffy writing, a means to an end, but the more I reflect upon it the more I think it is based in an emotional reality that is just handled with a very light touch by the film in favor of fanservice and Poolverine content (NOT that I'm complaining in the slightest - I think this movie is a masterpiece in many ways, albeit a flawed one but that's beside the point here), which for the record I am not against because I think it lends it an air of realism. This is Wade's story after all, Vanessa is a part of it but it is ultimately about him and his journey.

Basically, I think the combination of what happened to him in dp1 (the brain damage, the trauma, the awareness of the fourth wall, etc) followed by the events of dp2 (Vanessa's death, his grief and the associated guilt and trauma of being the direct cause of her death) led to an unbridgeable emotional gap between the two of them that ultimately leads to their breakup.

It's important to note that I don't think Vanessa has any recollection of her own death, given that Wade goes back and saves her before she can take the bullet, and so of course she can never fully fathom what Wade went through grieving her and their life together and their potential family, for however long he spent between her death and bringing her back with Cable's device. She can try (and she clearly does in the one scene I'll talk about next) but I fear she accepts, maybe even in that scene, that she can never succeed. He is beyond her reach by this point, and vice versa, his experiences having fundamentally changed him.

The one scene we really see from their relationship between dp2 and dp3 is the one where Cassandra mind-gropes Wade in the Void and we see Vanessa struggling to reach Wade across this aforementioned gap - she wants him to open up, she wants him to share what he's going through, she wants him to be the person she initially fell in love with (not even selfishly - to her nothing has changed really, because to her no time has passed). But not only does he not understand what she's really asking for but he responds in such a way that makes me think he has unprocessed issues that are only tangentially related to what she's saying - ie the stuff about mattering, about asking her if she even wants to be with him, etc. And he's not the Wade Wilson she met back in dp1 anymore. He watched her die and grieved her and brought her back, believing it would make everything go back to normal and they could resume their life together as if nothing had changed, but he has been fundamentally changed in a way that she can't grasp, even if he WAS good at externally processing his trauma openly without the artifice of wry jokes. She didn't "come back wrong" - instead, she came back exactly the same as before, but HE'S different now. Not wrong, per se. But changed.

It's an interesting scene because it's obviously a memory, and a crucial one at that, but you can see how Wade is misunderstanding what she's saying, viewing it through the prism of his own lack of self-worth and his own hopelessness - he takes away that she thinks he doesn't matter (even though like he says she didn't actually say that, but I don't think Cassandra invented that wholecloth - I think she pulled it out of his psyche because that's what he believes deep down, hence why his fixation on mattering even though she never said those words exactly), he takes away that she doesn't want to be with him, that she thinks he's nothing. Which would be frustrating as an audience member to witness as a pretty simple misunderstanding which could potentially be solved with one conversation, but it feels believable to me that these two people who have shared a great love would be fundamentally separated by unimaginable, cosmic trauma, and the on conversation they would need to have to rectify the misunderstanding is one that is impossible for Wade to verbalize and equally impossible for Vanessa to conceive of. It was one thing when they had shared trauma like violence and SA in dp1, but what Wade has gone through in dp1 and dp2, humor aside, is unfathomably traumatic, brain-breakingly so even, and that's not even factoring in the possible mental illnesses he now struggles with (I've seen folks suggest schizophrenia, DID, depression, etc. but I won't get into armchair diagnosing a fictional character here - suffice it to say he is canonically unwell as a result of what has happened to him, and yes it manifests as quirky fourth wall breaks and cheeky one-liners, but within the universe of the movies he is undeniably profoundly mentally ill, and that includes this humorous alter ego he created to cope with his trauma).

I think off-screen Vanessa probably really tried to reach him, maybe for years (the six year gap implies to me that they didn't break up immediately, that they tried for a while to stay together), trying to get her Wade back, but that Wade is gone. He struggled to express that to her until eventually he started to feel rejected because he couldn't express his trauma or how much he has changed, because even he can't fully conceive of the gulf that has formed between them. The truth is, he WANTS to be that Wade again, for her and for himself, but that Wade died when she died. Or maybe he had already started dying when Francis got a hold of him in dp1.

Anyway, all this is to say, I think Morena Baccarin WAS criminally underutilized in dp2 and dp3, but I think there is a strong argument to be made for the believability of their breakup regardless. I think even relationships built on enormous love can crumble due to trauma, and what Wade suffers over these movies is mind-bogglingly enormous trauma. It's especially heartbreaking that he blames himself for their relationship ending, talks like she just got tired of him, thought he didn't matter, whatever. But it is a credit to him that he never seems to feel anger towards her about it. He doesn't seem to feel entitled to her, though he longs for her and what they had and what she represented (hope, love, a future, a family), but ultimately she becomes more of a symbol of what he lost when he gained his powers, because let's be super fr right now - even if they had succeeded in having a baby, not only would they have lived in fear of her or the kid getting killed, but ultimately Wade would likely outlive both of them even if they managed to die natural deaths. The moment he gained his powers he was already destined to lose her, which is heartbreaking because she was the only reason he opted for the treatment in the first place - so he could stay with her.

I think a big part of Deadpool & Wolverine is watching Wade continue to process his own motivations (vis-a-vis Vanessa but also his other friends) and how he does eventually let go of the idea of "mattering" in favor of just saving the people he cares about (*cough* and being saved right back *cough* by Wolvie, as the final line and shot implies). And in the process he finds someone new who cares about him, who thinks he matters, who tries to sacrifice himself for him and his friends after mere days of knowing him, who comes home with him at the end of the story, who breaks his own centuries-old patterns, who has also experienced unimaginable grief and trauma, who has struggled with wanting to die and being unable to, who not only matches his crazy but matches his FREAK and also not only won't die on him but CAN'T die on him - and more importantly cannot be randomly killed by a stray bullet.

Idk if any of this makes much sense but I do think if you read between the lines and consider the potency of trauma and grief, guilt and emotional damage at play here, Vanessa and Wade's off-screen breakup is actually pretty realistic, and really heart-breaking to boot.

You can tell she still cares about him in so many ways - she shows up for his birthday party, she shows up to his welcome home party at the end, she finds excuses for physical contact multiple times, her eyes get soft when she looks at him, but there is a distance there that Morena Baccarin does an incredible job of portraying. She cares about him deeply, she has mourned the loss of their potential life together, she has let him go and accepted that the Wade she fell in love with is gone, but she wants him in her life even though she's moving on because she realizes he's gone somewhere she can't follow (literally and figuratively). And she wants him to be happy which is why I fully believe she would immediately clock the Poolverine of it all and not-so-subtly encourage them to make it official.

Anyway. Poolverine forever. Nothing against Vanessa at all - I think she delivers a nuanced and beautiful performance, I think their relationship is sweet and heart-wrenching in large part due to her acting chops, especially given how little she is given to work with - but I think their relationship was sadly doomed from almost the very start, because Wade becomes this traumatized superhuman and Vanessa would always be at risk in his orbit, but also would always on the outside of his multiverse superhero experiences. I think it's weirdly beautiful, even if I am filling in a lot of gaps and giving the writers maybe undue credit.

Anyway... thoughts? Please DM me or write in the tags, I am feral about this movie and just want to talk about it with anyone haha. If you have further insight into these characters too I'd love to hear it - I am by no means an expert in these movies or characters!

[cherrydbear]

Since y'all seemed to like this I'll keep rambling on the subject, I can do this all day. Here are some of those examples where I think their friendship really shines through:

From Sanji's perspective, this guy just showed up outside his restaurant one day, dueled the legendary swordsman who slashed Don Krieg's fleet to pieces, willingly got cut almost in two, nearly bled to death, was tied up by his own crew and then captured by the Arlong pirates, still singlehandedly escaped and came back to join the fight and defeated one of Arlong's best fighters, then nearly bled to death again and woke up just in time to drink himself silly at the afterparty. I've heard people say they "match each other's freak" and that's the truth. Sanji watches this absolute wackadoodle of a man and knows he's found someone who matches his freak. From Zoro's point of view, some cook at a floating restaurant just fed all of their enemies out of principle before kicking their butts. How could he not respect that sort of unconditional adherence to a sense of honor and justice? Especially considering he himself experienced starvation not too long ago in Shells Town. Now this cook, the newest stray in Luffy's collection, immediately proves himself to be immensely capable both in the kitchen and on the battlefield, incurs injury to himself without complaint to protect these people he barely knows, and still is the only person to come sit by Zoro and check up on him. So Zoro knows that Sanji has a heart of pure gold, and I think that's a big part of why he gets frustrated when Sanji tries to cover it up with bravado and perviness.

This scene was really interesting to me because usually when someone demands that Zoro does something, he grouches and grumbles about it, so in this case it seems he just spontaneously started helping out himself. And if there was ever a man whose love language is acts of service, it's Roronoa Zoro. He seems to be more of a "companionable silence" kind of guy, while Sanji's a talker and will say anything to keep feeling connected. Now, I don't know if this is just a me thing, but I like to say my friends' names a lot, even just because the association with them brings me joy, but I rarely use the names of people I'm not close with except to refer to them in third person or to get their attention. In this scene, it seems to me that Sanji keeps repeating Zoro's name as a way to show he's thinking about him and appreciates him being there, though I might just be projecting.

Now, I know shippers go crazy over this one, but I think it's honestly really solid platonic evidence and I'll tell you why (not to dissuade shipping, I think you have to be friends before you can be more than friends so all of this can be fuel for the ship too if you want it to be). Firstly, they're comfortable enough to sleep this close together. Sanji's resting his sleepy head right on Zoro's shoulder (it should have been me, not him) and Zoro just lets him. Also note real quick, only a short distance away Luffy is using Usopp as a pillow, so they're all a cuddly cozy little family. When Zoro notices Sanji mistakenly trying to kiss him, he doesn't even move away, he just makes a face and waits for Sanji to wake up so he can make fun of him. Sanji, for his part, doesn't act embarrassed or disgusted that it turned out to be Zoro there, only playfully mad about his expression. They squabble for a few moments before Luffy pushes past them and they turn their attention to the next thing, argument forgotten, proving that neither was actually angry about anything and they were merely enjoying the opportunity to bicker.

This is from the hunting competition in Little Garden that I mentioned before. I just wanted to point out that both of them are grinning and clearly having a grand time.

(I love how Sanji's hands are just massive sometimes.) They have the entire forest clearing, and Sanji chooses to sit his little booty down right next to Zoro and toss his food at him. They're just like those kids in elementary who had beef over who has a more impressive Pokémon collection and would always sit next to each other at lunch to compare cards and play together at recess but claim they're archnemeses. And for as much as Sanji implied to Usopp (though oblivious) that the heart shaped vegetables were just for the ladies, he did choose to make it and serve it to the whole crew. Speaking of the ladies, Sanji is always adamant about protecting them, but he was perfectly fine with leaving Nami and Robin in Zoro's care, just as Zoro trusted Sanji to take care of Luffy and Usopp.

I also loved how Sanji packed Zoro a cute little lunchbox for exploring and he was NOT going to let no stupid south bird take it from him.

Alright that's all for today folks I gotta wake up in like 5 hours for work lol

Continuation from this post

[abstractnaturaldisaster]

is it over now? (was it over then?)

part four

part five: i was hoping you'd be there

Robin managed to keep her shit together for approximately ten minutes after she stopped watching Steve make his way through security and into the depths of the airport. In the ride back to Steve's place, her leg was shaking so much Nancy discreetly grabbed Robin's pinky and held it in the back of the car.

The rest of the trafficky route back to Steve's all Robin could think about was how to fix things. She knew Steve didn't tell her about Eddie so she could fix things and Steve didn't run off to Italy to hide from everything but the situation still bothered Robin. She hadn't known Eddie for a terribly long time but he made her dingus happy so she held him in relatively high regard. It didn't make sense for him to just cut tail and run without leaving some sort of door open for a resolution and Robin was going to her darndest to figure out how on earth she could find that crack.

When they got back to Steve's apartment, Nancy didn't let Robin go long without asking for an explanation.

"Robs, babe, what is going on?" Nancy asked.

"I need to figure out how to solve Steve and Eddie." Robin answered.

"I don't think Steve wants you too. He seemed pretty resolved to close that chapter." Nancy urged.

"I know what he said but that's not what he wants. Also Eddie is a huge dummy if he doesn't realize how good he had it with Steve and also that Steve would never cheat on anyone. Especially not after y'all's whole thing. No offense." Robin continued.

"Okay so we aren't letting this go. What's the plan?" Nancy asked.

"Thanks for your support, love. I just can't figure out why Eddie jumped to the conclusion that you and Steve were together again. I mean no offense but like that ship very publicly sailed," Robin said.

"I'm trying really hard not to take offense but the more often you say it the more I am having trouble not being offended," Nancy snarked.

"Sorry, dingus wormed his way into my little heart long before you so I still gotta give you shit over soulmate solidarity. But back to the matter at hand. Eddie only assumed you would only be visiting Steve if you were trying to get back together when really you were coming to see little old me. So what if I came out. Like what if we came out? And shared some of the pictures from like super early on and thanked Steve for being a great friend for many years when I wasn't ready to take that step," Robin knew she was rambling but, hell, she was on a roll.

"Are you ready for that? I'm happy to take your lead on all this. It's not like we haven't already told everyone who is actually important to us. I mostly write freelance nowadays anyways so there isn't really some big bag corporate overlord I need to worry about. You know Steve doesn't need you to do this? It's one thing if you're ready to come out on your own, it's a whole different thing to do it for someone else," Nancy counseled.

"I really think I'm ready. I'm sick of Steve feeling like he needs to come to everything with me and you're stateside a lot more often and I'd love to go out on dates without the next day having like a million articles speculate if you're trying to move in on Steve. I think it's time," Robin rationalized.

"All right, then. We're doing this. Should we use this as an excuse to make Jon take cute couple pictures of us?" Nancy giggled a little at her suggestion.

"Yes! Perfect. Get him over here. Operation Save Dingus from his Self Sacrifice is a go!" Robin jumped up on the couch to make her point and Nancy immediately had to come to her aid as she wobbled enough to lose her balance.

Robin was excited. She was ready for the next step with Nancy and if it helped Steve get out of his own head and/or convinced a certain metalhead with very few remaining braincells to get his head out of his ass then so be it. Robin couldn't wait to think of all the sappy shit Nancy would pretend to be annoyed at she'd be able to do now. Steve would be back in a few weeks so Robin anxiously awaited Jon's response and started several caption ideas in her notes app.

part six

@lololol-1234 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @zombiethingy @grtwdsmwhr @dreamercec @anne-bennett-cosplayer @strawberryyyenthusiast @mensch-anthropos-human @kal-ology @ttyrussss @kristmkris @starman-jpg @wonderland-girl143-blog @child-of-cthulhu @legalmenace87 (if you wanna be tagged in future parts feel free to comment! happy to add people)

it's not quite fixed yet but we are getting so close!!!

[hydn-jpg]

redraw of this piece!! i mentioned in that post that i would redraw it at some point and ig that time is now! (i meant to post this before id2 came out but i got really busy so y'know lol better late than never)

i like to think i've improved! still can't draw chairs though haha

side by side comparison under the cut + rambly artist commentary(?):

i still have a long way to go in learning proper anatomy but i think the new pose looks a lot more natural and comfortable! also ~sexier~ perhaps

i tried to make the bg look closer to the actual cg they used in the book, i am arguably better at doing backgrounds now i think! i used to not put a lot of thought into it and just blocked out random shapes and called it a day (okay, i still do that now lol but i put more care into it now !! i try to make the shapes a bit more distinct and actually plan and sketch it out rather than draw some blobs and hope for the best ldkfkhsl). also more colour range(?) to give it a bit more depth!!)

i'd also like to add that i think i'm also better at figuring out compositions now, idk how it is for y'all but when i look at the original my eyes can't help but just fall to the centre, bc there's no focal point(?) or anything that's visually interesting for the eyes to land on. plus with the way it's structured, my eyes just naturally fall to center (+ bottom half bc the skin showing through the rips are bright in contrast to the black) >_> in contrast, in the redraw your eyes are automatically drawn to the face bc it's arguably the most interesting thing on the canvas and thus acts as the visual anchor of sorts (plus there is enough contrast with the background to make cas stand out instead of blend in)

even though i cringe looking at the og i can't help but to also feel endeared bc this was one of the first immortal desires fanart i ever did and also one the first of my posts to do really well! i never expected to get that much attention since i was only posting casually but it really warmed my heart reading all the lovely comments and motivated to draw more :D

it's also really fun seeing how much my art style and techniques have evolved! i don't think i use any of the same brushes i used to use for my old pieces anymore now haha. i also watched the timelapse for the old one and am honestly kind of in awe at how my different my drawing process used to be!!

i still have a lot to learn (esp in terms of anatomy, lighting, shading etc.) but i'm happy with where i am rn! the great thing about being a hobbyist is that there isn't really any pressure for me to improve quickly so i can just take my time haha (except maybe from imposter syndrome but that's neither here nor there)

i think i could've drawn his face and expression a bit better but i think this is a satisfying enough redraw for now!

btw, these are just my thoughts! i am not an art student so the things i said might not be technically correct but this is how i make sense of things in my brain

[circusinthewalls]

SFW Gaz Ramblings - 18+ MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS DNI

(CW: Therapy Dog Hybrid! Reader | ow ow ow my fuckin' arms 😭) [Masterlist]

You whine as Kyle strokes his thumb over the length of your forearm. The movement is a little too quick, just a fraction too abrasive for your newly sensitive flesh. That familiar searing pain thrums back to life in mere seconds. Heat radiates off you with every pulse of it.

He sighs, setting your arm back down gently in your lap to instead inspect the other.

"You didn't wear sunscreen?" he asks.

You want to lie because you know how utterly avoidable of a mistake this was, but it's not like the truth isn't written all over you. You'd only make a bigger fool out of yourself at this point.

"Didn't think we'd be outside that long," you murmur, avoiding his gaze as your ears pin back somewhat.

Opposed to the chastising tone you expect to receive, he only tuts.

"Gonna have to have a word with those recruits, huh, sweetheart?"

Disapproval laces the question, but much to your surprise, it isn't actually directed at you. This sparks a bit of inquisitiveness within you, those folded ears perking up again. You tilt your head at him, curious.

"What?"

He looks up to meet your gaze now and seems almost amused at your apparent befuddlement, the corners of his mouth tugging up into a cheeky smile.

"Well, they're the ones that took our therapy dog for too long of a walk, aren't they?" he says. "Bet they forgot to put any on themselves."

"But I wanted to go," you interject, leaning forward and nearly sliding off the counter he has you sat on when he steps away to get in the fridge.

You watch him rummage around in it, digging through until he emerges with what smells to you like aloe vera gel. He returns then, already unscrewing the cap on the way over.

"I know," he replies, "but they knew how long that walk was going to be. You didn't. They should've known better than to go without sunscreen on any of you."

Your brow knits as you consider his words, ears pinning back once more.

"Guess so."

Kyle hums, content with your supposed agreement.

"Let me see your arms, love."

You comply, raising both. Another hum sounds from him, this one praising.

"So good," he murmurs. "Just hold still while I apply this, yeah? You'll feel better in no time."

---------------------------------------------------

Little something I wrote back on the first of this month while I was dealing with the most egregious fuckin' sunburn on my arms.

Anyway, sorry for the lack of posts recently! Been busy with work and other life things. My drafts are full up of stuff I've been working on (three larger fics and a number of one-shots + requests), so I really wanted to get something out for y'all. I do have a decent bit of free time this week, and I'm hoping to get back into the swing of writing. There will be more of Therapy Dog Hybrid! Reader in the form of little one-shots over time, but other stuff I've been meaning to get posted will come first.

As always, thank you for your patience! Y'all are delightful. Means a lot to know you enjoy my work. <3

Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[subjectredacted]

y'all i am so bad at checking in and posting on tumblr, but!!! i really must scream on every platform because LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT waaaaaAAAAAA look at this beautiful cover art for my fanfic, illustrated by the amazing @fritzmetzger !!!

If you'd like to check out the fic, it's over here on ao3!

More thoughts and feelings, and talk about how this wonderful artistic collaboration came to be under the cut:

Back in December in the Alan Wake Book Club server, I asked for some kind of writing prompt with intentions of just writing a little drabble to practice. Fritz gave me this: "caseywake, brutal gore necrophilia" and I went alright cool, let's get brutal and weird because I love horror and it's a great chance to play in the space. I started thinking about ideas and began writing and the drabble idea turned into something bigger. A multi-chapter endeavor. Because: I wanted to have Alan kill Casey over and over again but I also wanted him to have to sit and live with the building distress and emotions involved in this, especially when it came to potentially romantic and lustful feelings involving a corpse. (I also found myself wanting to write about Alan as a few different kinds of monsters as a way to play around even more with the horror of it all.)

The more I thought about the dreams, the more I also thought about how I wanted to frame this story and how it would bleed out into both Alan and Casey's real lives. Because the experiences are happening as shared dreams, it's been interesting to think about the short-and-long-term impact that they have on the two of them, and how the dreams interplay with their emotional states and relationships with those around them.

The fic is still very early on right now (i'm taking a little break from writing chapter four as we speak), but I have lots of plans outlined (and I also continue to welcome in new ideas to this both when I am and am not working on it) for the future. If I had to estimate right now... 20 or so more chapters to go based on the current ideas I have outlined right now. After a certain point in the story, we'll also be exploring Casey's side of the dreams to see what his perspective is on what is happening, and I am VERY much looking forward to their eventual realization that all of these strange and grotesque moments were shared over the years once they finally meet face-to-face in 2023.

For anyone reading the fic, the fabled necrophilia is coming very soon! (Chapter 5, unless Casey wants to get another chapter in beforehand. If that happens, it will be chapter 6!)

if you read all my rambling, thank you!! pls join me in will smith posing at this amazing art by fritz!!!! RRRRAAAAAAAA

[queer-reader-07]

a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

--

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

--

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

[volo-omnia]

fuck it this is my house and i get to make the self indulgent content

if y'all are interested more i'll be rambling under the cut

So i redesigned my PLA self insert oc! I wanted to simplify the design a bit to be more "giratina" like but also taking some inspiration from some hanfu designs-

anyway long list of Gristen's character here we go

TLDR: I want to design Gristen as a foil to Volo, and someone who goes through an inverse character development to him (i.e., Volo is a villain and over time slowly reconsiders his plan being bad/redemption arc, whereas Gristen is a hero but slowly reconsiders nothing they did was worth it and thinks Volo might be right)

Gristen is actually a player character back from Pokemon Platinum, going through the normal events of Platinum through their early 20's and becoming the Sinnoh champion, and also became friends with Cynthia to help run the league now that Cynthia has stepped down/retired. Gristen at this time is still pretty stable, albeit a bit overworked as the Sinnoh champion but overall enjoying their life with the events at Spear Pillar/Distortion world behind them.

Cue being isekai'd several hundred years in past Sinnoh, now Hisui.

Gristen has now started back at zero. All of their memories got yeeted into the void (except their muscle memory for catching/battling), and they lost all their pokemon.

The events of Legends Arceus plays normally, with the minor exception of a certain blonde merchant Gristen catches feelings for...

Gristen as their base self is pretty optimistic and upbeat, eager to help out others and building a future for everyone. This is true for both Platinum and Legends Arceus, but since these are very different time periods, how people respond to Gristen is very different. (The latter obviously being much more suspicious and secluding from them)

However near the end of the game is when things start to shift. Over the course of the game Gristen slowly regains their memories, putting the pieces together who they are and what Arceus wants of them, and the tension between them and the village starts to amplify as Gristen becomes more aware people don't trust them (despite how much they're earnestly trying to help) and the rumors spreading of them being a sign of disaster don't go away.

Cue the rift disaster nearly destroying the world, Gristen gets banished from the village, and they take this really badly.

Gristen starts reconsidering their relationship as the region's champion/hero/savior and wondering why they choose to keep doing things with little/no reward. Their mental health starts tanking as well, and they start getting intrusive thoughts to just leaving the Galaxy Team and/or letting the people fend for themselves. (They don't give into these thoughts, despite everything Gristen does intend on helping others and wants to do the right thing.) Basically their optimistic personality starts to fade as they become more nihilistic, and even having weird feelings towards being Arceus' "chosen hero" despite not having any choice in this whatsoever.

Gristen starts hanging out with Volo more at this point, listening to his long talks on myths/history and the possibility of creating a new world and finds comfort that despite how everyone else treated them, Volo was still there for them.

Most of the game plays out normally, insert some self ship stuff here, and the rift closes and the world is saved. Gristen is forgiven and is allowed to return to the village, albeit they are very hesitant returning to their survey duties knowing how easily they were dropped before. The post-game plays out the same as well, with Gristen and Volo collecting the plates.

Cue the final battle at the Temple of Sinnoh and Volo's betrayal.

This is where the final thread of Gristen snaps. Given how well they handled being banished, upon Volo's betrayal Gristen is PISSED. Like, straight up considering the possibility of killing Volo. They are genuinely so upset that all their bottled feelings of everything they have went through is spilling out now. (Also, this exact moment is when all of Gristen's memories return)

Now this is where the events kinda diversify, there are a number of endings/outcomes I've thought depending on what the final outcome is at the final battle. Depending on both Gristen's and Volo's choices I've been playing with different arcs depending on the direction they go in terms of development.

Normal Ending: Gristen wins the battle, chooses to keep going as the game's hero, the events of the game plays out normally. Gristen and Volo never see each other again and Gristen is now left alone in Hisui. (Volo does get a bit of a redemption in this, as now when alone he's reconsidering if he was wrong in trying to create a new world. He's stubborn, and still set in his current canon self, but there are a few cracks.)

Bad Ending: Volo wins the battle. He destroys everything, becomes god, and creates a new world. Gristen straight up dies in this outcome. (If I'm really being lenient, I could do a more softer/fluff approach and have Volo keep Gristen alive for whatever reason, but hey this is my house and I can kill my self insert) This basically becomes a Volo-centric route.

Even More Bad Ending: Gristen wins the battle, but THEY choose to destroy everything and becomes god. This is Gristen's most nihilistic self, fully giving in to giving up and eliminating everything. (It should be noted that Gristen, unlike Volo, does not want to become a god, because now they're immortal and stuck with the revelation that they're responsible for EVERYTHING now. So basically Gristen is now in supernatural mega hell)

True Ending: Gristen and Volo both get therapy.

There's definitely different ways I wanna play with this, but Gristen is essentially my attempt at some sort of foil to Volo, reflecting trying to balance out as the "reasonable" voice of a normal person but also the potential to reflect his worst traits.

Upon the climax their dynamic is kinda in this weird state of love and hate? With Gristen's feelings boiling down to "I earnestly love and adore you very much but holy shit this plan of making a new world is the stupidest thing I ever heard of and want to strangle you for it" whereas Volo's feelings boil down to "I deeply resent you being Arceus' chosen one over me and believe I should kill you for it but I do hold some respect for you and think you're the only one that understands me"

But also I'm also doing all of this because I want to smooch Volo on the mouth. This whole thing is just an elaborate foreplay

[restinslices]

Heyyy omg first i wanted to say how much i love the things you write!! Thanks for giving me for free teehee ;p Second... sorry i always feel so awkward when i ask someone to write something that i dream of, like, i'm demanding or being selfish lmaooo im sorry for rambling... SORRY I NEED TO ASK ONLY YOU CAN DO IIITTTTT: So, i was watching Avatar: the legend of aang and there is this part when the group goes to a theater and Katara (the protagonist love interest) sits and then one of the group sits beside her and the protagonist is like "hey can you let me sit there?" its so cute like... SO SORRY, But do you think would be nice a fic, headcanon or anything when the reader is very liked by Kung Lao, Johnny and Kenshi (or any character you like) and they kind fight each other to stay closer to the reader or spend more time with them... Sorry for my bad english i had to let this out...

Idk why my brain was struggling to figure out how to write this but there we are. I hope you like it!

You were waiting for this particular movie for a long time and although you told them that coming with you wasn't necessary and you didn't wanna be a bother, they decided to join anyway 

To you it looks like “wow, my friends are so nice”. To them it's “I can't wait to spend more time- y'all are coming too?!”

The fighting to stay near you begins early on

You ask to ride shotgun and obviously they say yes. Now they're fighting over who drives 

Kung Lao says he can drive because he'll get you there quicker 

Johnny says he can drive because he's the better driver and won't get you arrested (Kung Lao tends to speed)

Kenshi… well… he knows to sit this one out 

None of them get their way though because Raiden ends up driving 

Which annoys all of them because Raiden is the only one who doesn't like you 

Childhood best friends who could only see each other as siblings type of shit. It pisses all of them off because that means Raiden is always near you 

You go to a store to get snacks because who actually buys snacks at the movie theater? 

And they are latched to you

You say to spread out and get whatever candy or snacks they want and they all magically want whatever snacks are in the aisle you're in 

It's pathetic 

Little problem though. You have two sides and it's three of them

There's behind you but it's not the same. It doesn't feel like they're apart of a conversation 

“Everyone thinks I'm blind so to avoid suspicion, I should hold onto you”

Kenshi’s resourceful (I still don't know if he can see now or just in combat) 

That guarantees him a spot by your side 

Now the two most conceded people gotta fight for that next spot 

Johnny immediately slides next to you but Kung Lao squeezes in and pretends he sees candy he really likes 

He actually hates Sweet Tarts but it worked at least 

These two are giving each other funny looks the whole time in the store 

That's pretty much all they do the whole time you're in the store. Just sliding in between each other 

Then you get back in the car and Raiden drives again, which still bothers them 

You get to the theater, get your tickets and get to your room or whatever it's called. Last movie I saw in theaters was Black Widow-

You like sitting in the outer seat though so that means only one person can sit by you 

Raiden goes to sit by you and at this point, they think it's on purpose 

Johnny shoves $20 in his hand and has him sit somewhere else 

So now the other two are mentally booing 

Johnny goes to use the bathroom and Kung Lao sits in his seat, even though you say Johnny is gonna want his spot back 

And of course Johnny comes back and wants Kung Lao to move, which causes a whisper argument and you have to take matters into your own hands and tell them both to move and for Kenshi to sit by you since they wanna be childish 

They legit wanna kill each other now 

“Everything was going fine. Why'd you take my spot?!” “You moved!” “I hate you” “Hate your debt” “Weren't you rejected as the champion?” “Weren't you?”

Kenshi is feeling great though. You guys are whispering and laughing the whole time 

He definitely feels better than the other two 

He makes sure to hold his bladder. Y'all are not finna fuck him over 

The other two are side eyeing him the whole time

They use passing snacks as a way to still chat but you’re like “bro there’s a movie on”

The movie ends and you guys leave and they don't even protest about Raiden driving because they know it is what it is 

They drop you off first and once you're inside, the yelling starts 

Multiple things are revealed 

A) Raiden knew what he was doing. He finds it funny. 

B) Kung Lao and Johnny are now enemies for life 

C) Kenshi believes he has a better chance with you now 

More events will be planned and this will happen all over again so good luck 

Y’all I made a library run and I’m so hype for these books. Y’all don’t understand. I was riding my bike back home with a smile on my face

[localcanadiancreature62]

Fiddlestan au,post reconciliation musings

Welp this au isn't stopping,i continue to have the Fiddlestan brainworms. I have like two other gf aus to work on but nah brain said gay con man hillbilly au so here y'all go.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////

• Stan gets REALLY clingy and affectionate with Fiddleford by the time they officially get back together. Because he's secretly afraid of him leaving again and thus he tries to act extra lovey dovey with him in an attempt to make him stay forever but he just ends up smothering the poor southern man. Fidds notices this so he has to reassure the con that he won't be going anywhere as he'll stay with the grifter til' death do they part,this comforts Stan for a while but he still gets antsy when the southerner has to go on errands or something without him. Which goes on to the next point.

• Stan has abandonment issues now. He ended up getting traumatized by the fact that he literally watched his beloved nerd lose himself in real time for years as the hillbilly then NEVER talked to him about the whole ordeal even when he was still sane enough to properly talk about it i.e his time within the Blind Eye Society,like being with Fiddleford was the happiest he's been in his life despite outright avoiding talking about his issues with him only for the man to leave midway into their relationship because of the memory gun (Mcgucket,what the hell have you done to this poor man?). So now Fiddleford has to reassure Stan that he won't be leaving for longer than a few hours/minutes whenever he goes out for groceries or something lest he'd be met with a bajillion texts and missed calls from a very worried,crying con man. Fidds doesn't mind having to do this all the time since it IS his own fault that the man is like this,although sometimes it can get annoying and he regrets leaving Stan for so long because of it.

• Stan and Fidds are switches. Fidds is usually the bottom cuz he's an effeminate scrawny twink but also he likes fucking that smug smirk off of the con's face,meanwhile Stan only bottoms for one very specific reason which is the fact that he can trust the hillbilly to take care of him when he's vulnerable and weak despite otherwise being a tough and macho dom. The toxic masculinity that Filbrick drilled into Stan never went away,but he can forget that for a bit whenever he lets Fidds take control for a few nights.

• Stan and Fiddleford's ideas of a nice date are hilariously contrasting. Stan's idea of a date is a rowdy midnight crime spree with a fancy restaurant dinner at the end while Fidds' idea of a date is a cozy night in reading books or rambling about their lives/interests together while eating some hearty stew. However they find a common ground and eventually compromise by either doing both or by going with the other's idea interchangeably between date nights.

• Fiddleford is riddled with guilt over him indirectly causing Stan to mentally break from his mistakes. He made his grifter have a mini mental breakdown everyday during the building of the portal after the car crash because of how much the man missed him yet couldn't talk to him because of his shattered mental state,he ended up causing his beloved pain because of his darned memory gun invention destroying what they had,and his insane state hurt Stan from the inside whenever he saw him. These are the things that Stan told him after they had another casual talk about their past again,and at this moment Fiddleford realized that he's a terrible partner. He wasn't able to properly process it during their reunion/argument back then as he had to deal with Stan's outburst,but now he can thoroughly feel the shame guilt and anger at himself for doing such horrible things to his grifter. And the worst part is,Stan still stayed even after all of that. He ignored it at first as he didn't want to worry or upset Stan more than he already did,but he eventually couldn't bottle it up anymore as he straight up started sobbing one day while he and Stan were watching TV together. Stan got worried and asked him what was wrong,only for the hillbilly to dejectedly say that he doesn't deserve him. "Oh oh this is the good part where Ducktective has a flipper fight with his brother after he corrected his grammar." Stan remarks as he excitedly watches Ducktective with Fiddleford who's enjoying his beloved's favorite show despite feeling the heavy guilt in his chest. Fiddleford then took a glance at the con,smiling as he looked at him with adoring eyes while the man didn't notice due to being too invested in his favorite program. 'How did fate bring me to this wonderful,goofy man?. He is everything,i want to cherish him forever. He is so forgiving,even when ah.. ruined his life with me leaving.' Fiddleford thought to himself as he felt himself tearing up from guilt and shame from everything he did to Stan. He then starts loudly sobbing,being noisy enough to bring Stan out of his Ducktective obsession induced trance as the grifter noticed him bawling. "Hey- Hey Fiddlesticks,what's wrong?." Stan asks as he then turned off the TV while looking at his hillbilly in concern. "Ah don' deserve you.. I treated you so terribly with that memory gun experiment,and me leaving only to never talk about what happened after that car crash. I forced you to watch me lose mahself in real time,while not realizing how much my dwindling sanity affected you. You warned me about the memory gun and the cult being dangerous,but i didn't listen and i only ended up hurting you further with my mistakes. I'm a terrible partner and you shouldn't have stayed. Why did ya stay?,even after everythin'?." Fiddleford says as he kept crying while looking at the man in guilt. Stan looks at him in shock over such a sudden outburst,but then he sighed in relief as he realized what this is actually about and that he didn't end up saying something dumb that hurt his beloved. "Because being with you was all i ever wanted. Sure you were stubborn with that weird cult stuff and you messed up A LOT but that doesn't give me any reason to stop loving you. I spent those 30 years being angry at you,at myself for what happened but even then i still cared about you and kept worrying about your safety in the dump everyday. You hurt me really bad,and even then my stupid heart still wants you. It's okay Fidds,you don't have to beat yourself up for something that happened years ago. And you ABSOLUTELY deserve me,especially with your kind personality and charming looks." Stan explains as he smiled at the southern man who has his mouth agape in surprise due to how loving and forgiving the con is. "Stanley. Yer a treasure. Why did the universe grace me with such a caring man?." Fiddleford replied as he wiped off his own tears as he kissed the con on the cheek who then blushed from the gesture.

"Well why did the universe give me such a charming nerd?~." Stan teases as the southerner blushed in response. "Oh hush you. C'mere." Fiddleford says as he then grabbed the swindler at the back of his head and pulled him closer to his own face as he kissed him,with him mouthing the con's lips as they lightly made out. The hillbilly groans in delight as he's glad that Stan doesn't hate him for what he did and he truly DOES want to stay rather than feeling obligated to like the little negative voice in his head said.

• Ford supports his brother's relationship with his best friend,although he could've been given a heads up before discovering them roughly making out in the kitchen. He already knew about it the moment Stan got his memories back and ended up telling him about the hillbilly,which is why he told Fiddleford about how much Stan was hurting from his mistakes soon after being given knowledge of their horrible break up (that one part in the argument drabble). He is totally fine with his best friend dating his twin however he can and will kill Fiddleford if he catches the southerner breaking Stan's heart again.

• Fiddleford absolutely KNOWS that Stan is touch starved after going without any affection from him for years,which is why he makes sure to hug him kiss him and caress him every time he sees him. Also another thing related to this point,Stan is fucking HUNGRY for Fidds after 30 years of not tasting his lips or feeling his member so the two make sure to fuck often.

• Fidds and Stan make sure to ACTUALLY talk about their issues this time in their relationship as refusing to communicate was what indirectly lead to their relationship falling apart with the hillbilly opting to use the memory gun after every argument while the con buried his feelings until they burst back then. They do it even if it's scary or confusing,as they need to otherwise they'll end up with heartbreak and hurt again.

[justabigassnerd]

Driving Lessons

Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x daughter!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Word count - 2,650

Warnings - probably the worst descriptions of driving lessons ever (I don't know how to drive), Jake's a wee bit mean, angst, fluff

Summary - Jake finally allows you to learn how to drive, however, he's a pretty bad teacher so perhaps Bradley could help

A/N - whoop whoop new Hangman Junior fic time! it's only taken me so long to get a new fic out (which I'm so sorry about it's like every time I go to write in the evening I'm just exhausted and struggle to write anything). I won't ramble anymore but as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

“Dad, when can I start learning how to drive?” The question that leaves your mouth is one that Jake had been on the receiving end of since you turned sixteen and were now considered old enough to learn how to drive in the state of California. Jake put it off for a while, wanting to make sure you were properly ready for such a big thing as well as wanting to ensure all the paperwork that was needed was completed before he got you on the road.

When the day came that Jake finally dubbed you ready enough to actually get behind the wheel of his truck, you were bouncing off the walls. Jake had told you that you were to listen to his every word, and you had nodded your head wildly to prove to him that you were going to listen.

“Okay, lesson one, starting the car up. This truck is a manual, so you have to deal with all the clutch control stuff.” Jake says as you settle yourself behind the wheel and adjust the mirrors. You nod at Jake’s words, remembering what you read in the book Jake had given to you to study intently before he let you practice driving.

“Walk me through it slowly because the book can only help me so much here.” You say, looking from the steering wheel down to the pedals and trying to figure out what pedal does what.

“Okay, so the pedal on the left, that’s the clutch. The one in the middle is the brakes and the one on the right is the acceleration.” Jake says, pointing out each pedal and explaining what they do before telling you about clutch control and finding the biting point before you release the handbrake. You were nervous as Jake’s explanations were causing your brain to work a million miles an hour as your foot hovered over the pedals. You hesitantly pushed down on the clutch before applying a slight amount of pressure to the acceleration as Jake encouraged you to ease the handbrake off. Instead of smoothly making your way off the driveway, the truck lurched forward and then stopped suddenly, giving away that your clutch control was not great and you had caused the truck to stall.

“Just try it again. Easy on the clutch, okay?” Jake says, looking over at you as you nod, a sense of nervousness creeping over you at your recent mistake. Your nervousness began to take hold, making you stall the truck a few more times, and each time you could sense your dad getting a bit more frustrated with you.

“Maybe you’re not ready yet. You need to study the book a bit more before we do this.” Jake says, sighing and rubbing at his face as you look over at him with mild shock as you switch the engine off.

“What? No dad, I’ve studied that book front to back I can do it.” You argue watching as Jake shakes his head lightly.

“If you keep stalling like this it’s going to mess with the truck. I think we should call it a day.” Jake then says, making you feel like you just got stabbed in the heart.

“I know I can do it though.” You say as Jake begins to unplug his seatbelt.

“You clearly can’t right now. You’re taking a few days to really study and then I’ll decide when I next let you attempt to drive the truck.” Jake says firmly, putting his foot down as you bite your lip, unplugging your own seatbelt and jumping out of the car, immediately making your way back inside the house.

Bradley looked up from where he was looking at his phone, a witty quip about the two of you being gone for barely any time perched on the tip of his tongue but it quickly left when he saw you storm upstairs. Moose, hearing you disappear upstairs launched off the sofa and ran upstairs to be with you. Since the beloved dog had joined the family, he took a shine to you and quickly became your protector, so Bradley was unsurprised when Moose made his way upstairs to check on you. Not long after you and Moose had disappeared upstairs, Jake came back in, muttering under his breath as he closed the door behind him.

“Is everything okay?” Bradley asks cautiously as he gets up from the sofa, meeting Jake in the doorway to the living room.

“She’s not ready. She couldn’t get the truck off the driveway. She’s not driving again until I’m confident she can get the truck to move more than an inch.” Jake says, moving past Bradley to sit himself on the sofa, leaning back into the plush pillows with a sigh.

“Jake, she’s not going to learn if she doesn’t practice.” Bradley says softly, easing himself to sit down next to Jake. Tentatively, Bradley takes Jake’s hand in his own, the coolness of Jake’s wedding ring hitting his hand as he squeezes Jake’s hand softly.

“She’s not driving until I say she’s ready. She’s trying to grow up too quickly.” Jake says, making Bradley realise what the root of the problem is.

“Jake, she’s sixteen and everyone she knows at school will be driving soon. She’s capable of it and I know I’m not the only one who knows that. We’ve both seen her studying that book you got her. I get you don’t want her to grow up but it’s happening whether you’d like it to or not. Her driving will help her gain more independence. She’ll be able to go places with her friends and not worry about whether one of us would be free to take her there.” Bradley argues gently, watching as Jake’s face remains set before he shakes his head softly.

“At least let me try and teach her. She deserves a chance.” Bradley then says, making Jake turn to look at him.

“If you want to try, I won’t stop you.” Jake says with a light shrug, not protesting when Bradley releases his hand and moves to head upstairs to check on you. When he knocks on your door, he’s met with nothing more than a mumble and he opens the door to see you laid on your bed, arm thrown over Moose whose head had shot up to see who dared to enter your room while you buried your face in his fur.

“Moose, it’s just Bradley.” Your muffled voice says as the dog finally lays his head down, tail lightly thumping against the bed as Bradley scratches him behind the ear.

“Comfy there?” Bradley muses lightly as he sits himself at the end of the bed and watches as you lift your head.

“You okay?” He then asks, seeing the forlorn expression on your face as you stroke Moose gently.

“Dad probably told you what happened already.” You say quietly, running your fingers through Moose’s fur and twirling the ends carefully in your fingers.

“We all start somewhere. I wasn’t a good driver when I started learning and I bet your dad was the same. Don’t let his words get to you.” Bradley says softly, watching as your focus remains on Moose who rolls over so you can scratch his belly.

“I don’t understand why he was so mean about it. I was really trying, and he kept making me feel so pressured.” You admit, your softly spoken words make Bradley bite back a frown.

“I’m sorry.” Bradley says quietly, watching as you shake your head lightly.

“You don’t need to apologise. You didn’t do anything. I’ll be okay.” You say, lifting your gaze to send a small smile Bradley’s way.

“Look, I was thinking that I could have a go at teaching you, maybe tomorrow if you’re up for it. I know a place we can go just to get you comfortable with the basics of driving before we get you on any roads. It’s up to you though. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to.” Bradley says, gauging your reaction as you fall silent, glancing down at Moose who licks your hand softly and wags his tail.

“I’ll give it a go.” You mumble, bringing a smile to Bradley’s face as he nods.

“That’s good to hear. Just relax for today. We’ll practice tomorrow.” Bradley says with a smile as he stands up, petting Moose whose tail thumps against the covers.

When tomorrow arrived your nerves were in full drive as you got in the passenger seat of the Bronco as Bradley got behind the wheel. The drive wasn’t too long, and Bradley would tell you what he was doing as he drove to help you understand what goes on when the car is in motion. Having Bradley explain everything helped you to feel a bit more confident as he explained everything in as much detail as he could.

“Is this Mav’s hangar?” You question as Bradley pulls up on a large runway, glancing around.

“Yeah, it is. Mav’s helping Penny with her boat today so I asked if we could use the runway of the hangar to practice. It’s got plenty of space and you don’t need to worry about pulling out onto any roads.” Bradley says with a simple shrug, glancing over at you as you blink back the grateful tears that threaten to emerge.

“Thank you, Bradley.” You say quietly, smiling over at him as he nods lightly.

“Alright, ready to get behind the wheel?” Bradley asks, looking over at you as you look from Bradley to the steering wheel. You hesitate for a moment and just as Bradley preps himself to speak, you nod, looking back at him.

“I’m ready.” You say. You and Bradley swap seats and you adjust your seat and mirrors the second you settle in the seat.

“You know what you’ve got to do. Don’t rush yourself. If you stall, don’t worry, just restart the car, and start again.” Bradley says, his voice soft and gentle as he watches you with a smile. You had never expected Bradley to go out of his way to help you learn how to drive, much less allow you behind the wheel of his beloved Bronco that he barely lets your dad drive. But seeing the way he smiled confidently at you, you felt ready. With a newfound confidence, you nod and go through every step slowly, easing the car into a smooth start as Bradley’s grin grows. He then quickly tells you how to stop the car, although you remembered what he had said on the drive over and were able to stop the car with little issues.

“y/n, that was incredible!” Bradley gushes, making you smile as you process that you actually did it.

“I did it!” You say happily, looking over at Bradley who nods enthusiastically. He encourages you to have another go and you manage to drive around on the runway for a while, starting and ending smoothly as Bradley watches your confidence grow. When Bradley deems that you’ve driven enough you swap seats once more and Bradley begins the drive back home.

“Bradley, why did dad act the way he did teaching me yesterday?” You ask, looking over at Bradley who spares a quick glance your way before focusing back on the road.

“I think he’s too used to teaching the cadets at work. Most of them don’t listen well and your dad really lays the pressure on them because they need to be able to think quickly while they’re up in the air. And also, between you and me, I think he’s a bit scared because you’re growing up on him. I think if you speak to him, he’ll be able to explain things a lot better than I have.” Bradley says softly, turning down the volume on the radio before he speaks so you can hear him. You furrow your eyebrows in thought as you think about Bradley’s reasonings. The rest of the drive back was silent, and when Bradley parks the Bronco in the driveway, you’re already planning on speaking to your dad. You open the front door and are immediately greeted by Moose who begs for you to pet him as his tail wags madly.

“Has Moose been out for a walk yet?” You call through to your dad as Bradley squeezes in behind you and closes the door to prevent Moose from bolting out the door.

“Not yet, I was just about to take him.” Jake says as he emerges from the kitchen, lead in hand and the bag of essentials clipped around his waist.

“Can I come?” You ask, not missing how your dad’s eyes lit up momentarily before he nods.

“Of course. Bradley, are you coming?” Jake says, glancing from you to Bradley who shakes his head with a fond smile.

“Not this time. I said I’d help Phoenix with her relationship drama so I’m going to swing by hers in a few.” Bradley says, excusing himself to freshen up to head to Phoenix’s while you and your dad exchange a look before your dad shrugs and hooks the lead onto Moose’s collar.

“Alright, let’s make a move.” He says and the three of you make your way out of the house. Most of the walk was silent. Only a couple of words were exchanged between the two of you and it was about your driving lesson with Bradley. When you reached a bench in the shade where the two of you could sit for a while as Moose sat in between your legs, you glanced over at your dad and realised it was just time to get the conversation over and done with.

“Did you hate the idea of me driving because it means I’m growing up?” You ask confidently, noticing how your dad tensed up before glancing over at you.

“Bradley?” He asks, wanting to confirm who told you that.

“Bradley.” You confirm with a slight nod and Jake finds himself holding back a sigh.

“I’ll be honest with you, sweetheart. Yes. You’re growing up on me and I hate that I’m still far behind. You’re wanting to do all these things and to me you’re still my baby girl.” Jake says, watching as you nod at his words, hands running through Moose’s fur as he pants happily.

“I’m not going to stay little forever, dad.” You mutter, looking over at Jake who nods lightly, sadness in his eyes.

“I know. I’m trying to catch up. I’ll try to be better.” Jake says softly, making you shuffle closer to him so you could hug him which meant Moose took that as an invitation to prop his front paws on your lap so he could lick your faces, making the two of you laugh and push him away gently. You then continue on the walk and when you get home, you’re greeted by Bradley who upon questioning says that the moment he arrived at Phoenix’s house, her date also pulled up leaving Bradley to assume that there was never any drama in the first place. You then excuse yourself to head into the back garden with Moose just to go over some training with him while Bradley and Jake watch from the back door. Bradley wraps his arms around Jake’s waist from behind and rests his chin on Jake’s shoulder.

“She’s a really good driver you know? Nailed everything.” Bradley mumbles before pressing a kiss to Jake’s neck.

“I bet. She can show me what she worked on later if she’s up to it.” Jake agrees, smiling as Bradley’s kisses make their way up to his jaw.

“I am also calling it now; she’s passing on her first try.” Bradley then says, watching as Jake nods in agreement, unable to find any way to disagree.

And as it turned out, Bradley was right.

taglist (comment or ask to be added):

@zbeez-outlet @kaceywithak @tsnelf7 @starkleila @cassadilasworld @shanimallina87 @madstxo @chaoticassidy @padsdarlg @lauraseresin @alohastitch0626

[f1orza]

Austrian GP thoughts, sorry if I'm not very articulate 🤓 just rambled really not proofread cause I'm busy

Do I think the collison was Max's fault? Yes. Do I think that the contact was inevitable and BOTH of their faults? Also yes.

Max shouldn't have moved during the breaking but they were both driving aggressive. They both wanted to be first, they both know what's it's like to be first and they won't settle for second now. I think in Lando's case he seen that if he wants to be first he has to try harder? Or that you actually have to be "agressive" to get onto that top step.

Do I think Lando was being childish? Yes. And I'm saying this as a McLaren fan.

Though I also think that any sport where you're fighting for first is inherently a bit childish. Might just be because I have siblings and we always used to fight over first place as kids 🤷🏽‍♀️idk

That doesn't justify Lando's response. Even when you're upset and running on adrenaline, you should be able to be handle your emotions I think. (I know as humans it can be hard) but if you're on live tv being broadcasted to millions of people...you should have a better handle on you're emotions; even if you feel you've been wronged, because no one will listen to you if you are acting like that. If you're levelheaded about it people are more likely to listen,(woman experience this all the time.) He needs to work on that and on taking responsibility as well, because the blame isn't 100% on Max.

That's one thing I can say about Max, I wasn't here for the "Mad Max" era but from videos and word of mouth, I can tell he's matured a lot and you can definitely see it. Max had every reason to be upset after this race (but not really), he had a good lead against Lando until RB's slow pit stop and then he went from first to fifth and some might say that's not bad, he still got points, and etc. That's not the point - his race was still affected but he did not go on live tv and speak badly on his friend.

They need to - like Max said - cool down and speak about it afterwards. I personally don't think it is worth ending a friendship with someone I considered a good friend but maybe they see it differently idk. It's something they need to talk about before the next race. And if they believe that it was worth losing a friend over, especially when they know this is situations that happen in racing then....

And I've seen a lot of people mentioning Lando still wouldn't have been first, even with the 5 sec penalty, he would'v been second with George being over 10 secs behind, I can understand why he believed Max ruined his race.

Some of y'all have a very bad habit of taking things fans do out on the drivers. If the FANS keep voting him DOTD that has nothing to do with him, if you want others to win then yall might need to vote more ig 🤷🏽‍♀️ and the chanting on the podium is again rude and nasty behavior but that again has nothing to do with Lando, I can promise you even if he would speak out it will not change anything, people will do what they want and what they feel they are entitled to do. I've seen it happen in so many fandom spaces, some people just don't care. Lewis has told people not to hate George after last race and I can guarantee that there is still people that do.

Now I've also seen people talking about Lando's attitude, I agree on some things and disagree on others. And this isn't me being a "Lando crazy fangirl" trying to justify his actions but I'm just telling it how I see it. So if you disagree okay, but do not start shit with me okay? 🙃 cause I know y'all like to fight around here 🤥

I think Lando feels stuck in that wasted potential. Where people having saying for years you have the potential to be a champion and even with all the hardwork you do, it doesn't feel like it's being shown. And especially as someone who went so long without a first win. Everyone's saying McLaren made a mistake by re-signing you or that your teammate is more deserving of the first seat. You feel like you're letting people down: you're team, family, fans and yourself. Not to mention all the hate you've been getting for NOT winning, then you'll definitely be in a bad headspace. And now that's he's won and KNOWS he can win, he'll want it all the more. He has the fastest car on the grid right now, he IS a good driver (contrary to what some of you believe), and he is a bit more optimistic than last year. Now that first is within his grasp, he's been hungry to get a second one. And I think he's been a bit overconfident about it, but that's honestly all drivers, I think if you are upset about Lando's ego but not other like Ocon than you dislike Lando for other reasons and are just finding excuses now. Even more so knowing he is second in the championship standings. Now that you know you're capable of being first you wouldn't want to settle for second, just like Max. Max constantly talks about not being there for second place but many of the other drivers feel that way, Lando is clearly one of them.

Do I think Max should have just let him go by? no. Because this IS racing and if you want to be first and become a champion you have to work for it. Max has never been the kind of guy to just let you pass him, not even for a friend. So Lando needs to understand that if he wants to keep fighting Max in the future. If you want to prove everyone right or wrong, only YOU can do that and by being overly eager and dangerous, well it clearly doesn't work in your favor 😭 (sorry lando 🤧). Only thing is you do is improve yourself and I'm not surprised that Max is a champion when he is always driving be it racing or sim. If your competitor's are doing a 100% you need to be doing 200%, that's the only way to get to the top.

[thelonelyshore-if]

Honestly even if you were only adding what you felt like would be fun to add, what’s the harm in that? It’s your game, it should be fun for you to make! Because we as players are going to have fun no matter what you add or don’t, and we all have little obsessions over things that sometimes they make it into games and sometimes they don’t! And what’s the point of making your own game if you don’t get to literally cater to your own little obsessions or mischiefs every now and again! I say go as hard (or not) as you want on customization and maybe it becomes relevant or maybe it doesn’t, but only one way to find out! As long as you’re having fun and taking care of yourself, I say forget the rest!

Thank you much, Nonnie!! This is a really kind message, and I appreciate it a lot. Though, if I'm being honest with you, I'm really quite indulgent with myself and what I want included in the story haha. It's my baby <3

Mostly I enjoy hearing other people's opinions because it gives me a chance to gather my own thoughts and to piece together what I, as the author, truly want to do. Customization is something I really enjoy...but it also adds even more flavor text for me to write. And I tend to go a bit overboard with the flavor text.

Reading the opinions of players gives me a chance to sort of...step out of myself and try and objectively see if it's 'worth it', in a way. Would it still be worth it even if I was the only person in the world who enjoyed it? I'd say yes, because ultimately this story is mine to write, and like you're saying, if I'm not enjoying it then why am I even writing it? But I also think it's important to listen to what the readers would enjoy, because while this is my story, I'm choosing to share it with y'all and I care about what you think c:

Like with all feedback, at the end of the day I'm just gathering data and will make whatever decisions feel right for me and the story. The game design aspect of writing this story is one of the hardest parts for me, and it's really helpful for me to gauge player's thoughts on certain things!

Sorry to kind of take your ask and ramble about it. It's unfortunately a bad habit of mine ^.^' But I really do appreciate your thoughts, and your ask made me smile! It also just sent my thoughts on a tangent. I hope you're doing well, Nonnie, and I also hope that whatever I end up doing is enjoyable for people to play <3

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Can I ask, if you have top favorite romantic couples (can be canon or non canon) of all time from any media? Why love them? Thx :D

... now this, took a minute to answer in some ways. There a lot of ships I like, so this was really easy and hard to answer at the same time. Some ships it was an immediate yep yep and others I had to go '... but is it a fav of all time, though?" But I think I got it narrowed down.

So here we go, fav ships of all time from any media, no particular order. I didn't get any specific no. to do so I'll just list a handful until I can't think of any others. (Anyone who comes across this that sees a ship on here you don't like and feels the need to say something about it, stay in your lane this ain't about your opinions it's about mine.)

The main FMA ships

Arakawa Hiromu, nigga, you cooked. Imma just put the FMA ships as one and leave it there because if I do it separately, we'll be here all day. But if you wanna see me diving into why I like these ships in a manic ramble, here's a post I made on that here. The romance in FMA is literally a category and a discussion all on its own that I can go about on for hours. FMA has the best romances in shounen so anyone who has consumed FMA will know what I'm talking about. Like, whenever anyone tries to use a manga being 'shounen' to justify shitty romantic writing, I point at FMA's brilliant riding. An animanga's demographic is not an excuse for terrible executions in romance. EdWin, RoyAi, LingFan, AlMei and all the side ships drank and left no molecules.

NaruSaku

Toxic shippers, again, stay in your lane, I don't feel like dealing with y'all any day. I have been shipping this shit for years, always have, always will. Ignore the fact I ship Sakura with literally everyone from the Akatsuki to Hinata to Sai to Shikamaru. (Y'all I used to look up Kisame/Sakura fics, unironically TAT). (Same for Naruto honestly, I've shipped him with Sasuke, Ino, Temari, Tenten, the list goes on and on.) The way Sakura goes from finding Naruto annoying to almost dying multiple times to keep him safe, I will never EVER be over that. Naruto's love going from puppy to something as passionately red as the thread of fate itself. The MinaKushi parallels. I have a lot (and I mean a lot) of ships in Naruto pertaining to these two, but NaruSaku is my absolute favorite. Like it was literally confirmed that Sakura got over Sasuke and then it got retconned for some bullshit. Saying it with my whole chest, argue with a wall, it should have been them. I won't dog any other ships, but yeah, it should have been them. 699 chapters of Naruto being in love with one woman, I sing the praises everyday.

SakuHina

Hinata's prince charming is literally Sakura. I have a whole ass fic I am slowly, painstakingly writing about what Naruto would have been like if Hinata had a crush on Sakura the whole time. I just think they're really cute together, have amazing chemistry and balance each other out. I didn't expect to like SakuHina as much as I did but here we are.

Kyoru

I mentioned it before in another answered ask but Fruits Basket was my first manga (if you're curious what my first anime was, it was Yu Yu Hakusho) and Kyoru was probably my first OTP. There are two characters I think upon so many rewatches and rereads that were prime game for who Kyo and Tohru could have ended up with had things been different (which, I do really ship as well. Multishipper here guys) but I'm not mad about the endgames that we got. From start to finish, Kyo and Tohru's relationship is beautiful and you can feel how strongly they feel for one another. It's like, wow, Takaya really gave us one of the best ships in shoujo and didn't even apologize for it.

Klance

Red + Blue = True. They had chemistry, supplemented for what the other lacked and we really don't need to have me diving into the bs that was VLD. That show wasn't even out long, my god, it was a mess.

NeuviFuri

Should I explain to you the romanticism of Hydro x Hydro? Oof how I love them. A Genshin ship after my own heart, truly. But if anyone is trying to against MiHoyoverse (I was here from the Mihoyo days, leave me alone) in terms of seeing who ships NeuviFuri more, we all lose. They literally paid people to do an ice dancing program in NeuviFuri cosplay, paid a guy to make a companion piece to Furina's song from Neuvillette's perspective and several other animations concerning their relationship in some way. But the Mihoyoverse shenanigans aside, it's the build up of 400+ years of working together, the care they still have for one another and yes the complementary abilities and color palettes. Not enough time in the day to talk about them, I don't think.

AriDante

Almost thought I wouldn't have a gif for them, then I remembered THEY GOT A MOVIE. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe is one of my favorite books in the world. I have reread it once a year religiously since 2017 when I first discovered it. This is such a beautiful novel and relationship and if you haven't had the pleasure of reading it or the sequel, please do yourself a favor and buy it or rent it from your local library. It's just, the way Ari has been in love with Dante for so long and didn't even realize it but it's so, so clear to the reader because of just how he talks and describes him? I don't even want to go to deep into this one just in case there's someone here that hasn't read this book because it deserves to be read and experienced blind. Just, just please y'all read it.