#this post was written by a bird

[dumdumsparce]

WHA- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HUMANITY!?!?!? WHY DID YOU MAKE PILK!?

[sbd-laytall]

No hate to anyone who ships DickBabs, but I just can never get behind it, and no, it's not because I enjoy the pairings of DickKory and DinahBabs (I am a multishipper at heart). I think one of the reasons why I just don't like DickBabs is because of the way that some writers will warp both of their characters.

Batman: Gotham City Secret Files And Origins (2000) #1

Barbara is definitely someone who can overstep boundaries, but considering she got so angry at Bruce for spying on her, I just feel like it doesn't really make sense for to put cameras in Dick's apartment without his knowledge. To my knowledge, this has never been brought up in comics again, but I guarantee that Dick would not be happy if he found out because he's a guy who values respect and privacy. Also, if this was a guy spying on a girl, people would have more of a problem because it would be acknowledged as messed up.

Birds Of Prey (1999) #19

Dick is someone who has been jealous on some occasions in his canon relationships, but the fact that he's written to get jealous over Ted and Barbara being friends, despite never having seen them interact or having met Ted is just not good writing to me. Yeah, I know that characterizations shift with comics, but it feels so wrong for his character and disgusting for him to have a problem with Barbara being friends with a man.

[gaysolangelo]

“the croaking” never beating the best webtoon ever allegations. got me screaming crying shaking and scratching the walls because of some gay bird men

[bird-likes-to-fandom]

"he would not fucking say that" but it's "he would not fucking talk like that" because you have no idea how to write a character whose first language is anything other than English, has a speech impediment, or uses specific slang/dialects nonnative to you that you don't research

[energeticpoltergeist]

Part 1: Mad King's War

Prologue: Diverged History(pages 1-4)

[oh-no-its-bird]

bird. bird please. please. please write a ficlet/short oneshot for me about kakashi having raw meat cravings and how he deals with them. please. and at night he starts having dreams about the ghosts of his ancestors (including tobirama) at a feast or something where theyre eating. raw meat. or he dreams that theyre encouraging him to like 'you're so skinny because you don't have enough meat!' and kakashi thinks he's developing a mental disorder. please bird would you do it for me

Anything for you random anon in my inbox <3

Kakashi, the unfortunate lack of knowledge of the Hatake clan kekkei genkai, and his relationship with food; As seen by others over the years.

Oh also if you're brave enough to come off anon and give me ur ao3 I'll edit the fic to be gifted to you

[nicosqkiosk]

omg they put keno from the 90s movies in the 3rd season of rise omg!1!1! c0nfirmed!1!

original screenshots:

[25centsoda]

Luke Skywalker Wingfic Part 1

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61933588

BEHOOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDD

Title: Before You Can Fly

Summary:

Not every Human is 100% human. Some appear to be, then around 18-19 they start growing wings - an intensive, year-long process that's incapacitating. It's just Luke's luck that he starts to do so right after the Battle of Yavin. And Darth Vader is searching for the Death Star pilot…

Excerpt:

Ben Kenobi had looked at Luke so sadly. Maybe he had known. The old bastard.

Luke knew, growing up, that chances of him developing wings were high. The winged weren’t very common on Tatooine, as most couldn’t afford the resources to help them survive the year-long transformation, but his father had been one of them. Anakin Skywalker had had the good fortune to hit adulthood off-planet, somewhere where he could ride out the feverish, weak, painful year with plenty of water, food, and rest. Luke’s own begging to leave Tatooine had been about becoming a pilot, true, but in the dead of night, he could admit to himself that it was also fear of the transformation, fear of sending his family into poverty to care for him, fear of dying before it was complete. Owen and Beru had had a stash of food, water, and credits that they thought was hidden from him, just in case, but he knew that they couldn’t afford to save up enough, not with Jabba’s water taxes rising each season.

At nineteen, he was the perfect age for it.

[corviiids]

For the director's cut fanfic thing: ⭐⭐⭐ (these are THREE stars valid for whatever. I'm giving you blank checks)

thank you again <3

blank check 2/3 goes back to as you like it again! but this time i want to talk about my shadow designs for the akechi bossfights we've encountered in the preceding chapters >:3 there are five - the Puppet, the Singer, the Bard, the Dancer, and the Magician.

but this got really ABSURDLY long this time so ill stick to mostly the Puppet, and just do a brief ("brief") overview of the others for now.......

(for context: this is my palace au and akechi's keywords are akechi goro, the world, theatre.)

the Puppet (photos of giant puppets below if that freaks you out!)

the first Wing the thieves encounter is the puppet show, and the boss shadow is a giant marionette:

For one thing, it’s huge—maybe three or four times the size of a human being. It’s also gleaming, carefully polished and buffed, reflecting light more viciously in the areas where it seems the wood might be chipped or worn. The polish throws the lines of joints and pieces into sharp relief, giving the puppet the general impression of something whole that had been cut up and pieced slowly together with hinges and nails. Behind it, mostly concealed by its limp bulk, is a door. As they might have gleaned from the chatter of the audience, the show does not yet seem to have begun. As such, the puppet on stage is limp on its strings. Most disturbingly, it’s draped backward, not forward, snapped unnaturally at the spine and giving it the extremely uncanny look of a corpse on uneven ceiling hooks. They can just make out the side of the thing’s eyes from where they’re standing. Gravity has not been kind to them: the puppet’s eyelids are dropped open, bulging eyes left wide and staring up as far back as the build will let them. They haven’t rolled all the way into the wooden skull, presumably because they can’t. Instead, the unseeing yellow eyes remain fixed on the back corner of the stage. The puppet is entirely still. “I think I’m going to be sick,” Makoto says faintly.

i think the Puppet is my favourite of the five because he's so disturbing. i imagine he looks a bit like the giant marionettes by the french street theatre show royal de luxe:

but i really love these guys, so i think it's uncharitable to say akechi's shadow looks exactly like them. i know giant puppets are always a little freaky but i genuinely love the royal de luxe puppets and i think the workmanship on these does genuinely do a ton of work to dispel that uncanny vibe.

puppet akechi on the other hand is absolutely drenched in uncanny valley, so i guess imagine these puppets but much scarier. the main thing is those places where different pieces of wood are joined, in the joints / on the limbs / etc, because that's very key to puppet akechi's look in my mind, hence "something whole that had been cut up and pieced slowly together with hinges and nails". the Puppet is a marionette, but the way he's been constructed and set up on stage almost calls to mind the imagery of a corpse that's been reconstructed to perform. the way he moves is really unnatural:

Ren is beginning to think they might be able to get past and slip through that door without a fight when the whole creature rears up, back strings going taut, and lashes wildly out at him with a horrible clack of its arms—he leaps back and crashes directly into Haru, who catches and dips him like a princess before twirling him frantically into Ryuji and the puppet gouges a deep gash in the stage floor.    As they watch it screeches, howls an unnatural shriek, eyes suddenly wide and bulging larger. They ‘blink’ a few times, eyelids flipping, then the puppet Akechi goes limp on its strings again, though decidedly more upright than before, like whoever’s pulling the strings is now on guard. Its eyes stay open this time, bright gold and piercing.

very much not like something exercising its own agency, but like a body on strings being operated by someone who did not care to practice in the artistry of operating a puppet to make it look like a live thing - the puppet is literally just a tool to be flailed about.

this also shows in the way the puppet sits when it's at rest. guys do you know how god damn hard it is to find normal pictures of puppets? when you google marionette it just comes up with a bunch of fnaf shit. anyway check this guy out

at rest, they usually just kind of dangle innocently, or might slouch forward if given too much slack, right? it was important to me that puppet akechi look very wrong at rest, as if he's not "at rest" so much as he's just been left to hang. hence: "it’s draped backward, not forward, snapped unnaturally at the spine and giving it the extremely uncanny look of a corpse on uneven ceiling hooks." i'm basically imagining meat hooks, like, in a slaughterhouse or something you know? like he's just dangling from those.

that imagery was inspired by persona 5 dancing, actually - akechi's finishing pose in his dance is this:

this is just such an unnatural pose. when i saw it for the first time, i just couldn't get the image out of my head of a string puppet who'd been hung up and left to dangle without any regard for how it might look or feel (lol). not to mention that blank look in his eyes. i think a lot of the Puppet was born from this dance because the dance itself is so dynamic and silly but then the lead-up to the end suddenly gets very jerky and puppet-like. i really like his dance!

the Puppet's battle mechanic is that the applause will continue as long as the Puppet is either acting or getting hurt (kind of like the mettaton fight in undertale actually?). if the applause stops, then the Puppet will be inflicted with Despair - in p5 the Despair effect means you lose SP for each turn and then instantly die on the third turn. makoto ends up healing the Puppet and yusuke mercy-kills it before it can commit suicide:

Fox silently raises his gun. The Thieves collectively flinch as the Puppet dissipates. The applause starts back up. “If we’d left things silent,” Yusuke says, “it would have only happened again.”

because this is the first shadow bossfight the thieves encounter in the Theatre, i needed it to have some broader implications (vs some of the later shadows who have more specific interactions). so obviously the analogue for akechi is that the performance needs to continue and he needs to continue receiving acknowledgement from the public / from shido / etc because if he's not useful and entertaining and noticeable and such, then he's nothing - his life doesn't mean anything. obviously, if he doesnt perform for shido (perform in the sense of working, but also in the sense of showmanship) he'll probably be killed. but also, akechi really externalises his sense of self to an insane degree. the conceit of the palace is essentially that his entire internal world is the show, it's just this shallow performance, the backstage is empty. if he stops existing in the cognition of the masses, he essentially "stops existing".

i think a lot about third semester akechi in royal and how completely he's faded from public awareness. he doesn't care because he's a dead man walking and has locked into nihilism at that point. but if you look at what akechi says in the engine room:

his voice when he says this says a lot to me. akechi's envisioning the world as it will look when he has to return and face the consequences of the world discovering what's behind the curtain and realising his credibility was all a show. to be honest, i think this also plays a role in his decision to sacrifice himself in this scene. i don't think he wanted to die, but i think he did realise that the post-thieves, post-truth world wasn't a place that held anything for him anymore, and his desire to return to that reality was dramatically weakened, so it was an easier decision for him to choose to make that sacrifice than it otherwise might have been.

um, i had a point. okay, so, i was saying that once the applause stops, the Puppet begins to despair. the Puppet also is the most direct representation of akechi as someone who is being used. all the shadow bosses correlate to some aspect of akechi's need to perform and to the varying reasons why they all have that sense of desperation:

“Kinda feels like they’re just defendin’ themselves, you know,” [Ryuji] says. “Or somethin’. Look too much like him. It’s weird they can’t talk, cos it’s like fighting a dumb animal. Don’t they all seem real scared to you?” None of Akechi’s Shadows have delivered grand speeches about conquering the world. Even Futaba’s Shadow had given them a fairly strong indication of what was going on with her, that overwhelming guilt which had given birth to a resolve to lock herself up in her mind and die. Akechi’s Shadows have lashed out, tried to destroy them, sure. But it feels different in a way that’s growing more and more impossible to ignore. Desperate to fend them off, more than anything, like each one is the final bastion standing for a world that could crumble at any moment.

that's why once you figure out how to stop each shadow's "show" from going on, they instantly die:

ripping the Singer's mask off causes him to cease to exist (see below)

silencing the Bard, who relies on the power of his words to manipulate others, removes his power and reveals that he's pretty easy to take down

the Dancer's feet are always bleeding because he can't stop moving. he's hard to catch, but the moment he stops dancing, he's revealed to have extremely low defence and can be taken out very easily

but the Puppet is literally being manipulated by a puppetmaster. because he no longer has any use when the applause stops, he no longer has a reason to exist. i also just thought this would be a fun effect to start on because it's so drastic as an introduction to akc's psyche and really gives the thieves a sense of what they're working with by throwing them directly into the deep end.

ok let's leave the puppet behind for now. im gonna be more brief with the others i promise (maybe)

the Singer

LET'S TALK about. beneath the mask. a song about ren. but it's also a song about goro.

I'm a shape-shifter at Poe's masquerade Hiding both face and mind All free for you to draw

the fic goes over some of my meta about this:

[Yusuke] I have done some research. [Makoto] Oh? [Yusuke] I believe when the Opera Shadow sang of “Poe’s Masquerade”, he was referring to a short story by Edgar Allan Poe, entitled “The Masque of the Red Death”.

eternally grateful for the scene during the pyramid arc where yusuke loredumps about egyptian mythology so i have precedent to do this

yusuke summarises the story in this chapter (chapter 4), but basically: the story is about rich people abandoning the common folk to a plague, until a personification of the plague wearing a red mask enters the castle. when his mask is removed, it's revealed there is nothing underneath. everyone in the castle then succumbs to the plague.

the superficial connections to akechi are pretty obvious - red mask, plague doctor. etc. but this song is really, really telling for both ren and goro. i briefly went over this in my last dvd commentary post about the palace fic, but this relates to my meta around both of them as mask wearers. the line "all free for you to draw" is a big one - ren is "all free for you," the player, "to draw" - he becomes who you need him to be, and because you need to max out your confidants, he becomes (via you) who his friends need him to be.

goro is similar on a different scale because he moulds his personality to what the public expects him to be. he takes it one step further, because it's less utility for him and more foundational - as i said, to an extent the performance is the substance of his personality, which is the core of the distortion. so both ren and goro are wearing the mask, malleable in character, their actual personality being somewhat questionable, but that emptiness is only true for goro. ren's definitely got something underneath it, but goro feels like he doesn't.

brief cw for suicidal ideation, but i also generally take it as a given that goro doesn't really expect to live past 18 after defeating shido. not that he's actively suicidal, but i think literally or figuratively he knows after shido's downfall, his own life will pretty much be over, and that's part of what drives the emptiness. the show really only needs to go on until that point, and after that there's no need to build a real thing underneath to return to. he's very much living for that goal.

anyway: so the Singer starts out singing the Phantom of the Opera - the Shadow is very much modelled after the phantom - but swaps to beneath the mask and begins to connect with ren. the Singer wears a red mask. i really like this mask! i envision it as looking like someone pouring blood over his face and then the blood freezing in place, so it just looks very molten and liquid but fixed over half his face.

ren defeats the Singer by ripping his mask off:

[Ren] Please don’t take off my mask, revealing dark [Ann] OMG!! [Ann] THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED WHEN WE TOOK OFF HIS MASK!! [Ann] HE REVEALED DARK!!!! [Ann] HE DISAPPEARED!!!!!!!!!!

(i love the thieves because i dont have to be subtle about my symbolism i can just make them say it)

anyway, just like the figure in the Masque of the Red Death, ripping off the Singer's mask reveals "dark" underneath - he ceases to exist.

Just a cage of bones There's nothing inside

the Bard and the Dancer

when i was first plotting this fic, i was actually designing the palace not as a written environment but as though it would be a playable place. so a lot of it is informed by me picturing what this palace would be like to play through and explore, building it out as a video game environment in my mind's eye and then trying to describe it from that point. i took the same approach to the bossfights, so they're all designed around central gameplay mechanics which are largely based on status effects and how the player would strategise around them. (to that end, a lot of the design stuff in my doc never made it into the fic...)

the conceit of the bard was a shadow who can manifest abstract concepts into being by manipulating reality with his words. so the status effects he uses are brainwash and sleep, mostly. his monologues are modified versions of shakespeare's works.

part of the reason why i started writing this fic was specifically to challenge myself in aras of writing im not very confident in: so longform planning, progression of plot, environment description, and action scenes being major ones. writing all the boss fights was and continues to be a real challenge. the chapter that the bard shows up in (chapter 5) ended up taking ages and ages in part because i kept putting off writing this fight. now that it's done, though, the bard fight is actually maybe my favourite fight scene i've written lol. it always turns out that way!!! the reason i like it is because i realised the physical action wasn't the fun part of writing a fight like this. since it was focused on status effects, it meant i got to crawl into ren's headspace when he got brainwashed, which i really really enjoyed doing because i got to drag out some trauma that joker has lovingly repressed.

   to set my fellows, phantoms in the wings    in deadly hate the one against the other…    This isn’t the Casino. This is somewhere else entirely. The Casino, and everything that came with it, that was months ago. How did he forget? The cottonwool that had crept so slowly into his blood dissipates in a mad rush that leaves him dizzy with disbelief. His hands, now that he can feel them again, are trembling. The knife between his fingers, trembling. The cool floor beneath him, the air in his lungs. How close had he come to never feeling that again?    Had he really just been feeling safe about that plan? Had he really felt everything was going to be okay? If anything had gone wrong—anything at all—he’d have been gone. He’d have been dead. How had they made it so he felt okay with that?    A trick? A ruse?    How blasé they’d all been, when it was his life they were gambling with like a worthless set of poker chips! And they’re here—all around him. Safe? He’s never been in more danger.    “Joker!”    Surrounded. He’s surrounded by the ones who left him for dead.

the Dancer doesn't get as much attention in text because i didn't want to slow down the pacing of the story every few minutes to do another huge scene tgat doesn't really serve a purpose, just like the exploration of the Globe Wing didn't. all that mattered was that he was shown to be adaptable, agile, and resilient - the Dancer needs to be in top condition at all times and ready to dodge any threat. the imagery that came through to me the strongest was the idea that his feet are always bleeding, so he leaves bloodstains all over the floor.

the Magician

this was another scene i adored writing. i think environment-wise, the House of Cards is my favourite Wing in the palace because it's the most unique structure. it's not a styled theatre like the others, it's more on-theme to the Magician, like he's set up his own performance environment. so it's just a huge house of cards made of crumbling playing cards which is really difficult to navigate and which joker kind of blends into.

the premise for the Magician was someone who needs to perform miracles and present impossible illusions as reality with a flair for drama. the Magician fools the Thieves over and over and over again, because they are good-hearted people who want to save him.

did you ever see that unused mementos request in royal where akechi tells the thieves about a target to save someone, and doesn't tell them that the someone in question is dodgy themself, and watches to see how quickly the Thieves immediately trust them?

i don't think i based this fight off this request because im pretty sure i had it planned out before i ever saw this, but i was really pleased to see it because it's very much the same idea. even in the engine room, akechi calls the thieves idiots for inviting him back into the team. of course, this isn't a good or healthy worldview lol and it's something he has to unlearn because he literally trusts no one and that's not an extreme anyone should be endorsing, but he also has a point in that the thieves are willing to throw their faith into things way too easily and don't look critically at people or situations. so the magician fools them, victimises them, tricks them into considering him a victim, fools them again, traumatises them, but they all continue to feel empathy for him and try to save him when he's in trouble. akc's cynicism vs the thieves' faith is a big theme of this one i think and the question is like, when to doubt vs when to trust even when you have evidence to the opposition. i think the right position is somewhere between thesis and antithesis (which iirc is not actually the wording hegel used when describing dialectics? lol... i might be wrong. i never studied hegel so my knowledge is pretty superficial. but i think this was a translation thing anyway because allegedly goro doesnt refer directly to hegel in jp? someone can confirm or deny idk)

anyway those are the bossfights we've had so far!!! just the VIP Box to go now......................... :3

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

I just found out Fyodor's cello piece from the 3rd season is called "Bird of death" and I find that interesting for a few reasons.

First of all, is it connected to Nikolai? They work together and -shipping aside - if they're actually friends, it would make sense for Fyodor to write a piece either for him or simply inspired by him. Not only are birds associated with Nikolai, but death as well since he was supposed to die by being cut in half. He also kills people, so if we combine all those things, they kind of make him a symbolic bird of death.

Secondly, it would make the cello scene have a slightly different atmosphere as Fyodor would be playing a piece he associates with his friend who's going to die after commiting a series of murders while a different murder is taking place. Also the situation would be even weirder for Katsura because it would mean he was kidnapped by a guy who didn't just play cello for him, but play a piece he associates with his friend. Of course Katsura would have no way of knowing, but still.

Thirdly, does that make Fyodor a bird of death? Because if it's not connected with Nikolai whatsoever, then it's most likely connected with Fyodor himself. It would make sense because he kills people as well, but would also accidentally make both Fyodor and Nikolai be associated with both birds and death (#matchingimagery).

Lastly, how much does studio Bones know?? I checked the dates of manga volume releases and Sunday tragedy chapters did come out back in 2017, so the team working on the anime would have enough time to integrate this title as an easter egg if they wanted to do that (as the 3rd season began in April 2019), but then again it seems like a random idea to allude to a character from a future arc that they weren't animating at the time. Either a member of the team was/is a fan of bsd or they're getting extra info on future events. Bones also seems to be making surprising decisions when adapting the material (such as putting Fyodor in Untold Origins), so I think it's possible they know something we don't.

But it's also possible that Bird of Death has a different meaning that I'm not aware of or it's all just a coincidence haha

[stinkrascal]

pick 8 pictures from pinterest for standstill!! (a moodboard)

heyyy so im actually really awful at moodboards but i do save pictures of things that inspire standstill so heres some of those! sorry they arent like aesthetically cohesive. standstill talks about a lot of different themes all neatly tied together w the thin thread of a romance plot so sometimes it's hard to describe those in a way that feels coherent, even in picture form. hopefully u get the idea though 👍

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2023: THE SOUTHERN REACH TRILOGY by Jeff VanderMeer. VanderMeer writes exactly my cup of tea: Weird, fucked up shit with a biological bent, and I am 100% Here For It. I held off on acquiring this trilogy for a weirdly long time, all things considered, but then I found it serendipitously at the Half Price Books where I used to work and I figured it was a sign. Then my excuse was saving it For The Right Time™, which turned out to be during Driscoll revisions (channeling big Weird Vibes over here, and the lighthouse thing is a nice bonus Rell touch), so here we are. I’m currently partway through AUTHORITY and I’m shrieking internally pretty much nonstop.

Unfortunately: The fact that it’s all in one volume means I’m under absolutely no obligation to stop reading, ever, and this is Not Good for me or my bedtimes. But I’m having a great time, and that’s what’s important, right??

[wildfey]

I haven't touched this fic in about 9 months but honestly I might get back to it at some point because I am enjoying the fact that everyone in it is just extremely rude at all times

[auroral-melody]

i saw like a "bad fanfiction bingo" thing and it kinda struck a nerve because there were so many things on there that were just like. either personal preference or things that were NOT inherently bad writing. i'm sure that plenty of the best fics i've ever read would hit some squares on that card.

it just reminded me that so much of writing is about context and intent.

using little-to-no punctuation is something that can be employed to great effect, if it's a stylistic choice.

script format? works perfectly well for something like homestuck as-is; also, that's such a vague description that includes screenplay and comic script fics.

moaning/screaming/laughing typed out? so context-dependent oh my god. huge fan of when dialogue is broken by a little -- ah -- during a scene, for example

"eye color compared to gemstones" really peeved me personally since like. yeah one of my favorite characters has amber eyes. like that's straight up on the wiki page. yeah sorry i compare my blorbo's irises to blue labradorite because they are blue and gold and have chatoyant properties. skill issue if you don't like that

i'm sure i'm willfully misinterpreting the intent of the post i saw a bit. i'm sure op would not universally claim every single thing they wrote is a Sign of something being Bad. but like. that's the problem with generalizing anything when it comes to writing

[loki-god-of-mischief-13]

If I just was a bird and crawled into a Dorito bag, I think most of my problems would be solved.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

oh yes, I can write pretty, flimsy things about love and hope and perseverance and all that. but then look at me, and where are those? words and words only. I could stop myself from doing things. the difference is I either don't want to or don't care. I have scars already. what's a few more? it won't change anything. if I really wanted to 'get better', I'd actually try to eat enough, for a start. and look at me. having one, maybe two meals a day. what's the good of writing things supposed to be encouraging when I don't believe them? I can talk about getting up and going on until I'm blue in the face and still I sit here, uncaring, watching everything fall apart more than it already was. which is fair. that's what I deserve. y'all should quit following me. honestly I don't see this going anywhere good. I think it a higher than 50% chance that I will die by suicide within the next year. but do I care about that, either? nah. and it's not for lack of faith in God, just in myself, I suppose. and my kitten is currently curled up all comfy on my lap, so it's not that I have nothing to live for. just that, as me, I don't want to live. nor do I know how to change myself. and I'm ever so tired. I know how I'd do it, it wouldn't be hard. I want a hug but no hug will fix this. I don't think anything can, really. if I told my dietitian I was feeling like this right now she'd probably be concerned. last time she knew I felt like this she made me promise to go and tell my parents. well. what they don't know won't hurt them, ain't so? nobody in real life actually needs to know, not now. it's possible someone will see scars and put two and two together, but still, harming isn't so bad. on its own it shouldn't be a problem, right? and nobody would suspect me of eating problems unless I mentioned it. not like some of the girlies who actually have actual problems. maybe I'm just making it all up. yeah it's all in my head and I'm imagining things. I just looked round the room extra hard at everything in case I'm hallucinating. if I was I feel like I'd know, though, somehow, idk. maybe I'll have a psychotic break one day like my sister did. but really it's all in my head. well I know how to fix things being in my head. simply break the head and the problems are all gone.