#this post is more for me than anyone else tbh

[loonysama]

I have to agree with everything above. I'm not saying the fic that made me want to stop writing was just because only 1.75% of hits got kudos, but I'd be lying if I didn't say how much that hurt, especially for imo one of the best fics I've ever written that I was already barely able to write due to such small kudos to hits ratios lately. I get that it might not have been something everyone was into, but damn. It made me feel like shit. I'm so grateful for everyone who has supported me over the last few years - especially those who have created art for my fics and read and left kudos on everything - but I think the sting of having my writing be unliked by so many people has been really hard to get over. It shot my confidence and I've had trouble writing ever since. And over the years, I have known several writers who have stopped writing altogether because of this, and even left the fandom because of it. I do not plan to do either, but to be honest, it has been a struggle not to be able to do something I really love doing because it just made me feel so bad to do it.

I wish so much that readers didn't use kudos as a measure of how much they like something. I wish so much that it meant, "Hey, it's so cool that you worked so hard on this so I could devour more content about my favorite ship without paying for it," rather than, "This was amazing, one of the most amazing things I've ever read, so I'm going to reward you with the coveted heart of approval I only use to let the most special of writers know they're the best because they deserve it more than everyone else." This can create competition amongst writers when there really shouldn't be. And more than anything, I wish I could just turn kudos off altogether, but I can't because every single kudo I get lifts my spirits just a little, and that's a really hard feeling to walk away from, even though I suspect most of them come from "guest" bots.

It is a dark truth, and writers aren't really allowed to talk about this because we are supposed to be so grateful for every single heart, and talking about this makes us come across as entitled. We provide a free service for our readers, and I consider a kudo to be a way to acknowledge that, and it costs readers absolutely nothing! In the US, we leave money in tip jars for practically everything. Kudos are tips you don't have to pay for. And it's not like anyone's keeping track and judging readers for leaving hearts for fics that might not be the pinnacle of greatness in their opinion. That's what bookmarks are for, and they can be made private. However, people do judge fics for not having that many kudos and some will skip over fics if the kudos-to-hits ratio is too low. So instead of rewarding only the very best fics with kudos, not leaving kudos actually hurts writers. Not to mention the very personal cost of putting ourselves out there and making ourselves completely vulnerable for everyone to judge us against our fellow writers. Many writers write about very personal things, and tbh, not getting kudos can feel like it's not just our writing being rejected, but ourselves.

So if anyone wants to accuse writers of feeling entitled for being upset about not getting enough kudos, please consider how entitled readers who don't leave kudos are for reading our free labor and not clicking a freaking button (that costs them absolutely nothing) in acknowledgment of the service we happily provide, and how ungrateful they are for not appreciating what we do. We don't have to post our writing. We could just "write for ourselves," but we don't; we share what we write with our readers because that give and take relationship should be rewarding for both writers and readers. But not getting kudos does more to discourage writers from writing altogether than to encourage them to provide more content. You wouldn't pay for a fancy coffee or overpriced cocktail drink without leaving a dollar in the tip jar, would you?

So at the very least, I wish people would stop making writers feel guilty for feeling this way, and I wish writers wouldn't buy into this way of thinking rather than valuing all of our hard work and countless hours that go into writing fanfic. Our feelings are valid; we're allowed to feel like shit when our hard work and vulnerability go unacknowledged for the mere reason that it was judged against someone else's work and found wanting. Wouldn't most readers feel that way if it was the other way around?

Is leaving kudos on fanfics not common courtesy anymore?

Something I've noticed on AO3 in the last two years is the lack of kudos and comments left on fanfics.

Fanfics have an increasing number of hits, but their kudos and comments remain minimal.

I understand that leaving comments is daunting, but kudos is the easiest thing you can do to show support and appreciation for an author.

Part of me wants to blame BookTok and the commercialized consumption of books.

Readers are more demanding and impatient for content, but they're quick to move on once a book is published. It's a constant demand for 'More, more, more' without appreciating and/or supporting authors. And these readers are now getting into fanfic.

I don't want to complain because it's not productive. But if you're new and getting into fanfic: Support writers.

Support means leaving kudos on AO3, and if you're able, leaving a comment. It's simple courtesy.

[velvetvexations]

as an autistic trans man, sometimes I feel less safe in public presenting as a man than as a woman, because, especially in certain places, man + visibly autistic tends to be more often falsely read as "dangerous and predatory" than when people read me as a woman.

Yeah, as an autistic trans woman who doesn't pass, I feel that. <3

Honestly thank you so much for what you do on this app. I'm so glad there's people who are actually willing to stand with trans men instead of pulling the "um well I have it worse so do NOT talk about your own oppression EVER or else you're a transmisogynist!" I'm so happy I found your blog and I hope you have a great week <3

I hope you have a great week as well!

Eh a long while ago Chris Fleming made a video making fun of polyamorous people which used a lot of the same hurtful stereotypes society already perpetuates against us and I’ve not paid attention since

Noted, as someone who is also poly.

i wish the queer community didnt put so much emphasis on sexuality labels like i just want to have sex why do i need to put a word to it

very valid

about the dropout “discourse”: hot take but real life people are not representation. theyre people. real people are not queerbaiting you and real people happening to not be transfem (and I have literally seen transfems in some dropout episodes theyre just not part of the main cast) is not a lack of representation. these are real people. stop* *not you, the people being shitty about it

the complaint is not in any way coming from a genuine place tbh

hey! i just wanted to let you know how much your blog means to me as a trans guy. you and your reblogs have given me hope at trans unity, and lets me know that i-- that we-- aren't alone. so thank you for everything you do, and i greatly appreciate your support and look up to you 💛

Thank you. <3

i redownloaded etsy recently and seeing all the trans stuff saved to my favorites is so sad. i used to feel happy and proud and i wanted to be open about being transmasc. but since all the discourse got worse i just. cant bring myself to feel like it matters. it makes me feel like im trans and yet i will never matter the way other trans people do.

You do matter anon, I promise. I love you, you matter, and I'm glad you're here.

As a trans guy a lot of the self-ID'd TME transmascs weird me out so much. Like why do they all sound like "I am so strong and my power to Harm Women is immense. I could do it so much and I feel the pull to the Transmisogynist Dark Side but *unsheaths sword* I will protect them instead with my big strong testosterone arms from my fellow men" like what even is that. Who is into this.

it's so incredibly obviously bad but it reinforces some people's victim complexes so it's praxis now

a trans person will joke about their experience and a trf will jump in to assume theyre a white transmasc who has never ever faced any real difficulties for being trans

every time

Out of the many, many stupid ideas in this dumb discourse, I've finally decided the one I hate the most is that underlying implication that transmascs just aren't trans enough. It's so gross seeing people imply that we aren't really trans. Our dysphoria is minimal discomfort at most, apparently. I've seen people post about and imply that transmascs will never understand not feeling like a person or being unable to live a life pre transition and that's why we have privilege, i guess - are you kidding me? It's like our experiences are a joke to these people who are clearly so wrapped up in their online discourse bubble that they're just detached from what it's like for trans people as a whole. Sorry for the vent (would rather not post this on main and I don't have anyone to talk to) but it's just the most grating part. Also it's like. Low-key transmed shit. Thought we left that behind, c'mon.

transmeds are like ants they come back every summer

i wish TRFs had a label they proudly called themselves so i could jsut go through their tags and block them, but noooooo they HAVE to frame their transphobic bullshit as Brilliant Transfeminist Theory. like atleast radfems are fucking honest about being radfems

That's part of why I made antigonism a label for anti-TRFs to call themselves~!

[loverofsoups]

Heyyy hahaha Bistro Huddy fancast time. FOH first

Bridgette - Ellie Kemper. No one can disagree with this one… The hair, the sweet personality she had in ‘The Office’, her manners, all very much Bridgette

Aaron - Jesse Eisenberg. hes known for goofy, nerdy, unlikable characters (even though theyre all very likeable) a perfect Aaron, id say

Nicole - Emma Stone. I KNOW everyones heart is set on Jennifer Lawrence but Emma Stones snappy comebacks are so perfect and her dry and sarcastic humor just fits Nicole i cant explain it.. anyway everyone’s entitled to their own fancasts so! Just my opinion

Brad - Jason Bateman or John Krasinski … i cant pick tbh

Clint - Jason Segel. Jason js has that sexy bartender vibe likeeeeee

BOH now

Joey - Jake Johnson YES CHEFFFFF MMMMMM. Sorry… Nick from ‘New Girl’ is a realist, he flies off the handle, and he cares about the people in his life even if he doesnt show it…. Thats Joey baby

Ruby - Natasha Lyonne. This one im really passionate about so dont you dare come at me

Pickles - Danny Pudi. Am i biased for this one? Yes a little bit… pickles is my fave and danny pudi is my fav actor ever so yes… maybe a little bit. But still theyre both so cute i love rhem sm my pookies

Nico - Julio Macias. Now this one I wasn’t sure about bc nico has gorgeous hair but i feel like we can move past it… maybe..

[rainingincale]

.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

[chiistarri]

need 2 isolate myself and unfriend everyone #asap

[prettty-dragon]

very excited to say that as of today, 10/19/24, i have been taking testoserone for a year!

1 year ago vs today

[livvyofthelake]

well basically like raise your hand if you’ve ever been blocked by a close mutual you though you were actually friends with and not just fandom-mates because you expressed an emotion they didn’t like because apparently they only want to interact with people who watch the same media as them and when you didn’t anymore they stopped talking to you and the media you DID have in common they gave up on once they found something more popular and seeing as that thing happened to be your favorite thing you graciously let them have because you believed you were friends and they would treat it with care and love but they didn’t and it made you feel like they didn’t respect you or like you or think of you as a person but rather as a faceless entity who sometimes could make Posts about tv shows you have in common. despite the fact they know what your face looks like because they’ve seen it because you’ve gotten together on zoom and watched movies together like friends do but that doesn’t mean anything i guess if you try to delicately have a conversation about how you feel because they just immediately dismiss you and start talking to you like you’re coworkers in a polite email chain because you said you didn’t like their tv show. which was a fact they already knew but didn’t take seriously because they were apparently never viewing you as a person! or has that only happened to me.

[discoreptile]

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

[eliza-makepeace]

it seems to me like eldest tries really hard to make it seem like arya has a lot of personality and complexity as a character and frankly it's not really working imho. like. there's a scene that really frustrates me. where we're told that she and eragon sit and talk about their families, their lives and whatnot, but that dialogue just. doesn't exist. how the hell am i supposed to see her as something other than a clear attempt from paolini to create "ideal woman who is so perfect and wonderful and yet will eventually fall for our protagonist"? give her some depth! make it make sense to me that eragon would be interested in her, aside from the fact that she's oh so beautiful. paolini makes him literally say to her that he cares about his friendship with her, but tbh i don't think any of us do either because their friendship has never been properly developed. most of the time it's eragon's inner monologue going "wow she's so pretty and wonderful and has such stealth and her figure and her hair and omg she'd never be with me :(" and her being mean to the dwarves or smth.

[muirneach]

46 minute psychoanalytic russian interview with andrey? i’m so sat.

[22degreehalo]

I’ve still only recevied one comment on my new fic................. even after I talked about it Heaps beforehand (not to like promote it or whatever I was just saying what was on my mind but. heaps of mutuals knew I was working on it and that it was coming hah.)

I am. really glad that I’m not in a more depressive mood right now or I’d be handling this a lot worse lmaooooo

[trashcreatyre]

If u ever see me being suddenly deranged about smth, it's super likely that I've been deranged about it for a while but finally got past my cringe layer that makes me reflexively embarrassed about everything I like

[gold-wolf-soldier13]

honestly genuinely think a lot of writers here on tumblr have lost the plot more than a little. like if your writing for external validation, ie begging for comments and reblogs or saying kudos/likes mean less, i really believe you need to take a step back and reexamine your relationship with your writing. of course we all love to hear how much someone likes our work- we’re human- but the incessant posting and polling about comments and how “no one comments anymore” is starting to give entitlement. you aren’t owed engagement. just because you’re choosing to put the your work out to the public sphere, whether it’s here on tumblr or ao3 or wattpad or literally anywhere, for free and explicitly for others entertainment doesn’t mean they- the strangers on the internet- owe you anything. they don’t owe you a like, a comment, a reblog, a favorite, a bookmark- they don’t have any obligation to you. if you’re posting and immediately concerned about engagement metrics you’re no better than any tiktok or instagram content creator.

[autisticlee]

brain decided to remind me if a time I was playing a game with some people and one person accidentally knocked me if the edge of something in game and my character died. I was asked what happened and I matter of factlt stated that person knocked me off the edge but it's fine. I wasn't upset. I didn't care. I play games to have fun, not take them seriously. this oerosn decided to take it way too seriously and play the victim by yelling at me as saying they did nothing and I did it on purpose and i'm accusing them. they definitely did do it accidentally. I don't see why that's a bad thing??? they kept arguing with me for a long time and I just kept stating the same thing I was standing still and they jumped up beside me and pushed me off. it's not even a huge problem so I dont understand why they acted like I was accusing them of actual murder. no one else stood up for me and just let them yell at and blame me. I don't know why they couldn't just move on and kept trying to win an argument I wasn't even having. they finally shut up and later in the game someone asked them to help me and they said no someone else do it because i'll blame then for killing me again. they brought it up several other times. why bring it up?! get over it and move on you annoying little freak ugh.

I thought at first it was a joke because these people joke with each other that way sometimes but this person was yelling and acting angry so I don't think it was a joke and the more i insisted on the facts of what happened, the angrier they got. I tried to ask why they thought I was blaming them and why they're so upset about it and they ignored me to keep saying they did nothing and it's my fault.

I don't remember how I felt besides annoyed. but remembering it now pisses me off. I cant stand people like this. even if they have a "valid" reason like if I triggered a feeling they get from being "blamed" for a mistake or whatever. it's hard for me to have empathy when they're screaming at me and trying to play victim for a tiny insignificant mistake that doesn't matter at all!!!! people being rude and not listening and screaming at me triggers me so I don't have the ability to care about your feelings. they could say sorry and move on or be like oh I didn't realize and move on. but try to make me feel bad and blame me and act like i'm accusing them of something serious is ridiculous and uncalled for and I have no patience or empathy for you. just shut the fuck up and never speak to me again if you're going to act like that. I don't know what you want from me when you act like this. do you want me to "admit" I did it on purpose and am blaming you because i hate you?! I don't understand!!!!! they sure wanted me to admit to admit something false so they could feel good about themselves. but I refuse. i'm dont letting people walk over me so I refused. and they decided to become my enemy and be rude to me the rest of the night.

i'm too autistic for this kind of shit.

[veinpursuer]

WHERE’S MY FUKING CAPO