#this post is more for me than anyone else tbh

[prozacwhorehouse]

snl!gf being matthews hairdresser…a silly little blurb i had to get out of my mind

I’m going to sound so stupid if I’m wrong but I’m prettyyy sure Matthew got a haircut because it looks more tame in recent pics I’ve seen…so here are my thoughts on his comedian girlfriend forcing him into chopping it

You probably bring it up like “dude your hair is a MESS please do something about it” and he’s like “whats wrong with it :( “ and youre like king look how wispy and dead your ends are

He doesn’t give in until you threaten not to play with his DEAD hair. He wants you to do it because no matter how silly he is, getting a public haircut where people can gawk in the windows is a little TOO silly. Youre like “bad idea man it’s prob going to look worse than it does now” and he’s like “please 🙂” and thats all it takes! He’s sat in front of you and youre lightly tugging at pieces of his hair to snip away and boy is eating it upppp. He’s literally in heaven, he’s never having anyone else cut his hair ever again. the final product being perfect is a small bonus to the intimate moment he gets to share with you

I’m picturing him out by himself (as he always is, he’s so nonchalant) and some fans stop him in the street and they do the typical omg love your show such a big fan routine and then they mention his haircut and he’s like “thank you! my girlfriend did it for me! :)” and he’d like do a dramatic hair flip like the diva he is.

Honestly I don’t think he’ll ever be like y/n this y/n that..I think you guys like to keep the fans semi on their toes and not specifically name drop each other…and he just loves being able to say “my girlfriend” in sentences. What can I say he hasn’t gotten to say it often in the past! Considering how increasingly reliant we’ve become on the media since his dating era, he gets more chances to say it and get it out thereeee

Anyways the fans are like “what made you cut it” and hes like “she said I looked like a prehistoric wooly mammoth, which i was completely flattered by until she clarified that she meant in a not good way - so I let her go to town with some like, kids crafting safety scissors, and I think it came out really nice!” he beams, so proud to show off his new haircut from his girl!!

Soon enough the media gets their hands on MULTIPLE clips of him explaining how you were the one who cut his hair, (because every time someone asks he gives them the entire story and doesn’t fail to mention your involvement) and comments on those videos are all like:

The way he lit up when he got to talk about her omg 🥹🥹

Why am I crying over a haircut this is so intimate

He is so in love with her it makes me sick 💔

Neither of you quite understand why this thing is going so viral bc it’s just a haircut?? But tbh it makes sense because being a famous comedian in this day and dating a famous 2000s actor who had stepped out of the spotlight for a bit gives something the young people and the adults so like yeah

Then low-key I can see it becoming a bit. Like Marcello posts a selfie in a bald cap he had to wear for a sketch with the caption “she did mine too, want a refund…@y/nforreal” and then your other coworkers catch on…John ben and Martin all post up with the most insane wigs and caption “we asked @y/nforreal for low taper fades…this is what we got ” and you’re commenting on all them like ENOUGH this is MISINFORMATION

[loverofsoups]

Heyyy hahaha Bistro Huddy fancast time. FOH first

Bridgette - Ellie Kemper. No one can disagree with this one… The hair, the sweet personality she had in ‘The Office’, her manners, all very much Bridgette

Aaron - Jesse Eisenberg. hes known for goofy, nerdy, unlikable characters (even though theyre all very likeable) a perfect Aaron, id say

Nicole - Emma Stone. I KNOW everyones heart is set on Jennifer Lawrence but Emma Stones snappy comebacks are so perfect and her dry and sarcastic humor just fits Nicole i cant explain it.. anyway everyone’s entitled to their own fancasts so! Just my opinion

Brad - Jason Bateman or John Krasinski … i cant pick tbh

Clint - Jason Segel. Jason js has that sexy bartender vibe likeeeeee

BOH now

Joey - Jake Johnson YES CHEFFFFF MMMMMM. Sorry… Nick from ‘New Girl’ is a realist, he flies off the handle, and he cares about the people in his life even if he doesnt show it…. Thats Joey baby

Ruby - Natasha Lyonne. This one im really passionate about so dont you dare come at me

Pickles - Danny Pudi. Am i biased for this one? Yes a little bit… pickles is my fave and danny pudi is my fav actor ever so yes… maybe a little bit. But still theyre both so cute i love rhem sm my pookies

Nico - Julio Macias. Now this one I wasn’t sure about bc nico has gorgeous hair but i feel like we can move past it… maybe..

[nonsensechemicals]

crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It

[rainingincale]

.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

[chiistarri]

need 2 isolate myself and unfriend everyone #asap

[prettty-dragon]

very excited to say that as of today, 10/19/24, i have been taking testoserone for a year!

1 year ago vs today

[livvyofthelake]

well basically like raise your hand if you’ve ever been blocked by a close mutual you though you were actually friends with and not just fandom-mates because you expressed an emotion they didn’t like because apparently they only want to interact with people who watch the same media as them and when you didn’t anymore they stopped talking to you and the media you DID have in common they gave up on once they found something more popular and seeing as that thing happened to be your favorite thing you graciously let them have because you believed you were friends and they would treat it with care and love but they didn’t and it made you feel like they didn’t respect you or like you or think of you as a person but rather as a faceless entity who sometimes could make Posts about tv shows you have in common. despite the fact they know what your face looks like because they’ve seen it because you’ve gotten together on zoom and watched movies together like friends do but that doesn’t mean anything i guess if you try to delicately have a conversation about how you feel because they just immediately dismiss you and start talking to you like you’re coworkers in a polite email chain because you said you didn’t like their tv show. which was a fact they already knew but didn’t take seriously because they were apparently never viewing you as a person! or has that only happened to me.

[discoreptile]

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

[eliza-makepeace]

it seems to me like eldest tries really hard to make it seem like arya has a lot of personality and complexity as a character and frankly it's not really working imho. like. there's a scene that really frustrates me. where we're told that she and eragon sit and talk about their families, their lives and whatnot, but that dialogue just. doesn't exist. how the hell am i supposed to see her as something other than a clear attempt from paolini to create "ideal woman who is so perfect and wonderful and yet will eventually fall for our protagonist"? give her some depth! make it make sense to me that eragon would be interested in her, aside from the fact that she's oh so beautiful. paolini makes him literally say to her that he cares about his friendship with her, but tbh i don't think any of us do either because their friendship has never been properly developed. most of the time it's eragon's inner monologue going "wow she's so pretty and wonderful and has such stealth and her figure and her hair and omg she'd never be with me :(" and her being mean to the dwarves or smth.

[muirneach]

46 minute psychoanalytic russian interview with andrey? i’m so sat.

[22degreehalo]

I’ve still only recevied one comment on my new fic................. even after I talked about it Heaps beforehand (not to like promote it or whatever I was just saying what was on my mind but. heaps of mutuals knew I was working on it and that it was coming hah.)

I am. really glad that I’m not in a more depressive mood right now or I’d be handling this a lot worse lmaooooo

[trashcreatyre]

If u ever see me being suddenly deranged about smth, it's super likely that I've been deranged about it for a while but finally got past my cringe layer that makes me reflexively embarrassed about everything I like

[crow-quet]

elders quest out today ........ oh boy!

[gold-wolf-soldier13]

honestly genuinely think a lot of writers here on tumblr have lost the plot more than a little. like if your writing for external validation, ie begging for comments and reblogs or saying kudos/likes mean less, i really believe you need to take a step back and reexamine your relationship with your writing. of course we all love to hear how much someone likes our work- we’re human- but the incessant posting and polling about comments and how “no one comments anymore” is starting to give entitlement. you aren’t owed engagement. just because you’re choosing to put the your work out to the public sphere, whether it’s here on tumblr or ao3 or wattpad or literally anywhere, for free and explicitly for others entertainment doesn’t mean they- the strangers on the internet- owe you anything. they don’t owe you a like, a comment, a reblog, a favorite, a bookmark- they don’t have any obligation to you. if you’re posting and immediately concerned about engagement metrics you’re no better than any tiktok or instagram content creator.

[autisticlee]

brain decided to remind me if a time I was playing a game with some people and one person accidentally knocked me if the edge of something in game and my character died. I was asked what happened and I matter of factlt stated that person knocked me off the edge but it's fine. I wasn't upset. I didn't care. I play games to have fun, not take them seriously. this oerosn decided to take it way too seriously and play the victim by yelling at me as saying they did nothing and I did it on purpose and i'm accusing them. they definitely did do it accidentally. I don't see why that's a bad thing??? they kept arguing with me for a long time and I just kept stating the same thing I was standing still and they jumped up beside me and pushed me off. it's not even a huge problem so I dont understand why they acted like I was accusing them of actual murder. no one else stood up for me and just let them yell at and blame me. I don't know why they couldn't just move on and kept trying to win an argument I wasn't even having. they finally shut up and later in the game someone asked them to help me and they said no someone else do it because i'll blame then for killing me again. they brought it up several other times. why bring it up?! get over it and move on you annoying little freak ugh.

I thought at first it was a joke because these people joke with each other that way sometimes but this person was yelling and acting angry so I don't think it was a joke and the more i insisted on the facts of what happened, the angrier they got. I tried to ask why they thought I was blaming them and why they're so upset about it and they ignored me to keep saying they did nothing and it's my fault.

I don't remember how I felt besides annoyed. but remembering it now pisses me off. I cant stand people like this. even if they have a "valid" reason like if I triggered a feeling they get from being "blamed" for a mistake or whatever. it's hard for me to have empathy when they're screaming at me and trying to play victim for a tiny insignificant mistake that doesn't matter at all!!!! people being rude and not listening and screaming at me triggers me so I don't have the ability to care about your feelings. they could say sorry and move on or be like oh I didn't realize and move on. but try to make me feel bad and blame me and act like i'm accusing them of something serious is ridiculous and uncalled for and I have no patience or empathy for you. just shut the fuck up and never speak to me again if you're going to act like that. I don't know what you want from me when you act like this. do you want me to "admit" I did it on purpose and am blaming you because i hate you?! I don't understand!!!!! they sure wanted me to admit to admit something false so they could feel good about themselves. but I refuse. i'm dont letting people walk over me so I refused. and they decided to become my enemy and be rude to me the rest of the night.

i'm too autistic for this kind of shit.