#this post is just for me specifically btw i am the target audience

[martritzvonmercie]

kaede is allo BUT she would totally have any sort of relationship with an aroace person bc to her love is love. she feels sexual and romantic attraction but all she cares about is expressing love for people she cares about in whatever way works best for them. she cares less about specific relationship labels and actions that are considered “normal” in a romantic relationship and more about just loving someone :))

[transgendercastiel]

I’m so serious you can say as many fuck jkrs as you want but you’re still supporting a woman who is steadily endangering the lives of so many queer and trans people everywhere. You can’t death of the author someone who is gaining influence and impacting lives more every day. Even understanding the prejudices baked into her work and navigating them in a conscientious way won’t stop her from funding political parties. She’s been extremely open about how she perceives ANYONE who still engages with the HP franchise as a supporter of her views. How can you actively choose a media that you enjoy over a trans woman’s right to exist within society??

[incorrect-koh-posts]

You said "which is a tragedy in its own right as far as my tastes are concerned, but I digress", but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. I hope it's okay to ask, but what kind of fics/pairings would you like/prefer to see emerge from the fandom?

Of course it's okay to ask, dear anon!

Personally? I'd love to see more variety. One of the chief reasons why I enjoy reading fan fiction is finding new things I like - perhaps some pairing I hadn't considered before, some batshit premise or crossover that turns out to be actually brilliant, or maybe a cool genfic that explores previously unseen sides of a character or character dynamic that people don't write about very often. I'm not really the kind of person who seeks out fic based on specific tropes. Once I've read a story with a certain trope in a fandom, it's pretty unlikely that I'll go and read another one with a very similar premise, unless I really enjoy the author's writing.

So what I'd be excited about seeing in the AO3 tag would honestly just be: something new. For instance, a sapphic Sibylla/OC fic would be such a fascinating read (as would be anything at all that explores Sibylla's character a bit more). Or a Saladin-centric fic - sign me the hell up. I'd adore finding something for Godfrey or Imad, and we all know a new Tiberias fic would have me foaming at the mouth. I'd also love an interesting and/or wacky AU (and I'd write one myself if I had the time). Make it Jane Austen and let Baldwin have a gentleman suitor, while Sibylla elopes Lydia-Bennett style with Guy, and Godfrey and Raymond grump about in the Navy. Write a daemon AU (as in His Dark Materials) in the canonical universe. Or throw them all into the 21st century and let Reynald send Saladin threatening messages via fax.

I know the KoH fandom is much too small to engender the sort of variety I'd ideally like to see, and it's only reasonable for writers to sort of double down upon the fic premises and tropes that have done well in terms of hits and comments in the past and write more of the stuff the majority enjoys. As far as taste goes, I'm aware I'm the complete outlier here, and I really don't mean to antagonise anybody with this post or insult their writing or reading preferences. I'm glad your fics are doing well, folks, I truly am - it's only that I'm very likely not the target audience for them. Sometimes I just wish I weren't the only freak in the circus, lol.

(The post anon is referring to is this one btw.)

[capriccio-ffxiv]

24. what's your wol's relationship with food? do they skip meals or do they eat at specific times religiously? is food important to them, or is it just a means to an end to keep their body going? does food mean something cultural or personal to them?

AW LAWDY

Illyria: Honestly the fastest way to bring her back from "Feo Ul Just Put Me In the Sauce" land would be to do something food related. Nobody in her family is a culinarian but she still grew up helping her dad cook and just. Look, in Gridania, if you're 1/4 Duskwright and your dad is 1/2 Duskie and 1/2 Ishgardian and your *mom* is an outlander, look. LOOK.

I have a lot of Thoughts about Duskwright culture and cuisine, and how North Shroud culture interacts with Ishgardian refugees, and how that would interact with a born and bred Lominsan pirate given Limsa Lominsa's thing about Food.

This is based on my IRL relationship with my dad, and, like, look, I found Dad's First Cookbook, and it's literally a Dungeon Meshi style guide to Don't Die or Let the 10ish Twelve Year Olds at Summer Camp Under your Wing Die in the Fucking Canadian Woods.

Illyria is Dungeon Meshi Senshi here, if Senshi were also Gordon Ramsey, and also 7'4".

Also she makes these killer ginger-lemon cookies. To die for.

Ryuu: Right up until she got Isekai'd to the First, Ryuu thought of food as I Eat This for Sustenance. She got grabbed at the same time as Thancred though, and spending 5 years in the literal post-and-also-pre-apocalypse *really* changes your opinions on food. She's nowhere near Illyria's level of culinary skills, but she's a much, MUCH better cook than she used to be (much to Kian's surprise). But even before that? She grew up poor as dirt in Bittermill, then slightly-less-poor in Limsa Lominsa, then literally homeless in Ul'dah. She is very much of the "it got calories and won't poison me? I'll eat it." In the First, though, she's 35-ish and going "... I am too old to just shove shit in my mouth and expect it to work out, I need to actually think about what I'm eating, especially since unlike Ul'dah, I *can't* just steal what I need."

This is btw the big difference between an Ul'dah orphan and even Average Crystarium Citizen (TM) -- an Ul'dah orphan, if they're dewey eyed and winsome or swift and daring, can, ahem, procure everything they need. Even if it's hard, even if it sucks. Average Crystarium Citizen (tm) may be eating three meals a day and still malnourished because the Light leeched every damn scrap of nutrient beyond raw calories out of a thing.

Seshat: her literal main classes are actually CUL, ALC, BSM, ARM, GSM, MCH. In that specific order. Seshat is More than Senshi. Seshat is speaking to you about your gut microbiome. Literally in the fic I'm writing right now with @selene-ffxiv, Seshat is building a specialized preserving and canning device in the field from spare parts so they can preserve scavened fruit as jam. Seshat is Dungeon Meshi meets Edgar FFVI.

Hyperion: He loves plants and plant breeding and studying insects; once he and Selene petitioned for stewardship of their own land (nobody owns anything in Ancient society, but they can petition for temporary stewardship until they return to the Star, as per my headcanon), he grows. So. Many. Things. So unlike many Ancients, he and Selene actually *grow* what they eat. Mealtime for them is an intimate ritual, since they don't get to see each other often. ... I literally remember the last meal we wrote for them, it was salmon with pasta in cream sauce.

I am the target audience for Dungeon Meshi actually in that I think food should nourish the whole of the self (mind, body, soul) by way of feeding the body, fueling the mind, and connecting to community/culture.

I AM WORKING ON THAT OTHER ASK BUT I HAVE THREE WOLS AND AN ANCIENT AND YOU ASKED THREE QUESTIONS.....

[pinkkittysaw]

I agree with your tags on that rb btw angel!! I don’t shame anyone’s decision to have a kid. Hell, every mother in my family except for one has had at least two kids before 22. And that’s fine!! I think at least for me my gripe is the social media aspect of it. So much of the content coming from family vloggers / family tiktokers is making profit off of children without the kids consent or even having children for the sake of views… or putting kids personal info / medical info out there… and I do feel like a lot of what we see paints a certain lifestyle that statistically is unattainable for most young families (unless they convert to Mormonism akdjskdj that’s a whole other topic) idk something about the social media aspects of it rubs me the wrong way in a “Christian fascism conspiracy” kinda way LOL.

But I did see some tags on that post that are just shaming young families and that’s just not right.

- aleks

for context, i deleted a reblog to this tumblr post here but i will share the tags of that post under the cut since i took a screenshot of them then deleted the post after i got this ask

i definitely didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t agree with my tags. my problems with the post were honestly from other people who reblogged it, not with that you said in particular /lh

i agree with you on your points in regards to the social media aspect of it all and the harmful effects of “influencers” showboating their children online for views/interactions. i think it’s very weird…to say the least.

obviously this is a lot more nuanced than a simple brush stroke of, “it’s all bad or it all isn’t”. there’s a million and one factors and a million and one scenarios to each individual situation and that’s why it can be difficult to articulate points on a particular situation, especially on social media.

i do think the people on social media who paint staying at home and having kids as something that should be ideal for every “woman” and romanticize it as well are also harmful. especially if said people making these posts are earning an exuberant amount of $$$, when that’s not the case for most people today.

(i don’t want to be negligent of the fact that women aren’t the only gender who can and do give birth but often times when consuming media where these social norms are praised, cis women are often the target audience specifically although these social norms do effect all people who can give birth)

social media heavily influences people, i definitely won’t deny that.

there are people and institutions in place that are abusive and preach/push this rhetoric that staying at home and raising a family while still being young is the most fulfilling/best/only option one can have. i don’t want to take away from anyone’s experience from the harm that’s caused.

i am very much a proponent of educating people on sex, birth control, pregnancy, financial independence/literacy because unfortunately, some of these stay at home moms/wives/girlfriends are put in abusive situations and have nothing to fall back on to help themselves rebuild their life.

I GET that is the point with a lot of posts like the one i initially reblogged are ultimately saying.

I GET that they’re criticizing world views that have kept women in an oppressed position for so long.

(not to say that they aren’t still oppressed in today’s society but hopefully you (general) get what i mean with my point)

my biggest biggest problem with all these posts is that they don’t critique the harmful institutions that create scenarios where domestic violence/misogyny/ general harm may arise, they just broadly critique all young parents (and mothers especially).

that’s truly my main issue with it all. not every young parent was forced to have children and to imply that the only “valid” (for lack of a better term) reason for people to have children that young is if they were in a position where they were forced to is also…wrong.

my mom had me when she was in her teens (later teens but still) she wasn’t forced or coerced into choosing to keep me, does that then make her decision “wrong” or make her a shameful person for choosing to keep me? even though she was young? and “didn’t have a future” like so many people in the reblogs love to say. i should surely hope not.

not everyone’s life stories look the same. i too wanted kids. back when i was eighteen i genuinely thought my future was going to contain three little kiddos and a husband. it was only little over a year ago, that i realized that wasn’t really the life i wanted to have, at least for the time being (granted, the time gap between 18-21 isn’t really a large one). me choosing to not pursue a life with children does not make me a better or worse person and that’s the root of what i think all these posts are about.

“you’re inherently wrong and bad for choosing to have kids at a young age” except now it’s repackaged to seem more feminist than before when really, it’s the same exact branding of shame that teen moms have been getting for years and it’s that same shame that prevents people from reaching out and getting the resources they need.

it doesn’t matter what my personal views on teen/young adult pregnancy are because there are always going to be young parents regardless of the amount of education we give them. some people just want to have kids at a young age and that doesn’t make them inherently bad people.

if people who make posts like that want to critique trad wife culture, christian conservatism (which is indeed a whole other can of worms), other systems in place that take advantage of vulnerable girls/women and force them into give birth at a young age, i’m all for it. i just wish they wouldn’t go about it in the most obtuse way possible because then you get a thousand people in the tags being like “i feel sorry for my friend who’s having a kid” “you’re young and stupid too why bring a kid in this world”

the shame that these posts create and endorse is what i have a problem with, not the actual message behind it.

ANYWAY, this was all very long winded but i wanted to make sure i got out everything i wanted to say. also this was more of a general post on my whole thoughts on the matter, not specifically to you aleks /lh

i never meant to imply that you held the beliefs that i was criticizing in that initial reblog and i apologize if it came across like i was.

[the-desi-aro-ace]

I've been wanting to say this for a long time but i didnt know how to (which now ig i do) sooo try to hear me out till the end please.

The asexual community isn't really as accepting as it should be.

and here are my reasons for saying this. so basically, when i first discovered asexuality, i scrolled through asexual memes on instagram. and i didn't relate to a lot of them, mostly because asexual memes are either 1. about inside jokes (denmark, here we come and we're immortal gods <3) which is not something questioning people know about 2. about ace symbols like cake and dragons and space and stuff which is again, not really something people new to the community know about 3. about hating sex or not wanting sex which again, didnt resonate much with me. (ill have to admit, while making memes on instagram im guilty of a lot of these things too, especially when i have no ideas)

but since i couldnt relate to a majority of the memes, i really thought that mayyybe i wasnt really asexual. until i discovered aegosexuality which did fit me. but this is not the point here. the point is that if im in the ace community, i shouldnt need to hunt out microlabels to understand what i am, yk. especially when i have absolutely no idea they even exist.

asexual memes are targeted at a specific audience, and as expected, if you dont fall into that category, you wont be relating to more than half of the ace memes. and this is also harmful for the people who've figured out their identity but still dont relate to the memes because they are still susceptible to going down the questioning spiral because of not relating to a majority of the stuff meant for aces. in the asexual community, if you're sex-positive or sex-favourable, there aren't a lot of memes which you can relate to.

so the problem is just with the memes, you ask? well, not being included in "just memes" means that the only ace content i can actually relate to are the positivity posts for aces which go "sex-favourable aces are valid" (which is a really amazing and cool sentiment btw) or the personal experiences of people like me. and i love them both, but i want to scroll through the asexual memes hashtag without skipping every other meme because i cant relate to it, which is not really a nice thing when im feeling the need for ace stuff.

and again, ill have to admit my page isnt really better than the others out there (it really fits everything i said here-) but this has been weighing on my mind and i really felt guilty about thinking this way, because the community has been super accepting and everything, but that was when i interacted with people and not just scrolled through memes

https://www.instagram.com/p/CVuY9TprNpa/ anyway i made a post about this on instagram too in a way more concise manner so (literally the only thing i ever did which not fits into the mold i said before lmfaoooo)

[norgestan]

crisana, norandro, jorgeva and amira x dani

ha, anon just wanted all the canon couples. fair enough!

CRISANA:

see, skam s3 is my favorite season of all time, but it has never been because of the love story. isak's story hits in a lot of sensitive places for me, and isak was also the first main character i encountered that was my age. i have a really special connection to him for that reason. on the other hand... i enjoy evak for what it is, but i never saw a future for their relationship after the season ended. in a lot of ways, isak's season ended just as their relationship started, a trope that i've never liked because how am i supposed to think that they will last? how am i supposed to know how they will work as a couple? it's just, ugh.

i had similar thoughts about crisana when i watched s2, except that the love confession scene and cris as a character made it even harder to get into the couple. moreover, the way people brush other characters' roles and presence on other seasons because they're so caught up on cris and joana is like... blegh. like it makes me forget that they're actually a well-written couple at times. because imo, og they never did anything really interesting with evak once they got together. but eskam........ oh, dear eskam.

there's something so beautiful about thinking of all the girls, the teenagers that will grow up watching a relationship like theirs on popular media. their entire subplot (??? can i even call it that) in s4 is proof of how GREAT of a relationship they turned out to be. like, i just wanna SCREAM thinking about it because, how is it possible that eskam saw evak and said "we're gonna make this SO good and we'll take our time and then tie it up in an incredibly satisfying and emotional way" and then did exactly that!!!!!! the way they respect each other, communicate, genuinely try to get to each other without dumb miscommunication. the way they understand each other and lift each other up! the way joana knew how to recognize cris' intelligence when everyone was telling her she's dumb, the way cris knows how to make joana feel worth it and show her affection in such a selfless, loving way. their last scene on joana's pov in s4 was the first time i cried during that season, just because it was all wrapped up so beautifully. because eskam understood that although the appeal of their relationship comes from the soulmate status of every evak couple, they had to also put in serious work to make it all work and they also managed to get that across with grounded drama, and also a hopeful message for people struggling with mental disorders. like AAAAAAAAAAAAA god what a great couple they are. maybe i'm too much of an eskam bootlicker but they're genuinely the best evak there is. i'll die on this hill. i'm so happy young wlw get to watch them as a guideline of what they should expect of a relationship.

NORANDRO: already done :)

JORGEVA:

i mean... it's eskam's fault, without a doubt. i love what eskam did with them in s1: the change of pacing, the way they created jorge, the little story changes to make it more nuanced, i think come together in a pretty satisfying way to show a teenage romance with no real support to last for more than a while. i don’t think eskam fully got the gist of what jonas was supposed to be, but it’s for the better if we think of the message in season 1. for that reason, jorge is like the one jonas who i really wouldn’t mind coming back to his eva. so why don’t i like them?

the answer is simply that i don’t enjoy their trope and i don’t think eskam made a real case of eva and jorge getting back together. they work well as friends, sure, and it’s clear as day that jorge still has feelings for eva, sure. but like, what tells me that they’re just ready to go all in again? eva goes through a really great arc and i would definitely agree she’s in a good place to be in a relationship again, but we know NOTHING about jorge’s journey. he’s just, silently pining on eva and that’s it. i do think it’s sweet and the hints of their lost romance throughout the show are wholesome, but there’s just nothing more to it. jorge and eva work AMAZINGLY as friends! i don’t see why they should push a romantic endgame for them. in my head, eva kissing jorge at that party was just a mesh of the excitement of a new era, the nostalgia of ending highschool, the high of being on this place with someone she really cares about, stuff like that, but it just ends there, and it’s great that way. nothing about eva’s character really led to her aching to be in a relationship again, and for me it feels right to end things with her being single and surrounded by great friends.

MAYBE if eskam had devoted some time showing us their progress and romantic potential instead of trying to convince us that kasim was a real, compelling character. maybe. lol.

DAMIRA:

(god, i don’t know how long this will be LOL)

i have. so many thought about this fucking pairing. let’s see what we can do LOL. the thing about damira is that i don’t think it’s a pairing that eskam had in mind when they laid out the first two seasons. the little hints of a friendship/childhood crush that happened during cris’ season really got the fandom and they quickly became the most popular non-canon ship in the show, so that’s where i think eskam said “okay, let’s run with this”. but it’s just...... meh. like i can tell that relationships like crisana were carefully crafted (well implemented in nora’s season, greatly wrapped up in amira’s season) but i cannot say the same for dani and amira. it’s almost like virihugo, where they just started giving each other Eyes on the middle of season 3, out of NOWHERE. it just feels forced to me and so i never really felt anything for the couple in question... like, for starters, i think nora and miquel were WAY more shippable than those two, strictly talking about their setup.

if you ever saw any of my posts during s4 then you should know how i actually feel about how they developed their romance (check my anti damira tag for more?) and i don’t wanna go through all those specific points again... but damira is not only an infuriating romance, but also a bad pairing in a narrative setting. like, damira clearly exists to answer amira’s questions about how would the future of a romance with a white guy would be, right? does she get an answer? no she fucking doesn’t, their final clip is like “after all these weeks, we still have no idea so we’re gonna cut things short, go back to our initial dynamic, and wait to see if amira any of us change our minds <3″. so like, even in that sense damira is a HUGE waste of time, and just like everything that happens to amira during her season it has no lasting impacts on her character or her settings.

and personally, i love couples where they’re both equal, and communicate at last, and both make great efforts to change so the relationship can flourish. this is why i offer so much praise to norandro and crisana, where in the first couple both character go through tremendous character growth and work through their problems individually before getting together, and in the second couple they show them clashing and fighting just to display their resolutions and show how willing they are to actually talk to each other and keep their relationship stable. dani and amira, on the other hand.... blegh. eskam wants me to think dani is a knight in shining armor for liking amira but that’s all he ever does. he doesn’t defend her in front of his friends, he doesn’t make efforts to get to know her and her world, he doesn’t communicate his real feelings to her, and the one time he did he humiliated her in public. like, idk, like, even MIQUEL explicitly defended nora when his roommates berated her for not drinking alcohol LOL.

at the end of the day the problem with damira is that it completely misses the point of yousana and its target audience. making yousef a white guy is not necessarily a bad choice if you implement it well (which eskam didn’t do btw), but you have to take into account that sana’s season exists to make a primarily white christian-raised audience relate and stand up for the muslim characters in the show. when the lazier partner of the main couple who makes zero efforts to work on the relationship happens to be white, it just means people will be sympathetic of him, and nor amira - and that’s exactly what happened in the show. people either thought amira was being too harsh by laying conditions for dani before they even began dating and making sure he respected her boundaries, or just wanted all the drama to go away soon so amira could kiss dani by the end of the season. so like, yeah. terrible stuff.

i would’ve liked damira’s impact on the season and amira’s journey a lot more if it had been about a one sided childhood crush from amira’s part. i thought their friendship was charming up to s3, and i simply hate that dani is literally in no way an older brother figure for the girl squad, since it’s a dynamic that’s lacking in the show and it would be a nice way to make dani be some sort of non-creepy eskild for the girl squad (but noooo, his only interactions w the gs are hooking up with eva and dating amira. smh). it would’ve been fun to have amira intimately dealing with those feelings just to learn a lesson by the end of it, at the time that she also falls for her muslim love interest - which is actually the isak/jonas/even dynamic when you think about it, also something that eskam didn’t really do with cris’ season. but also, all of this would mean that eskam had to do the good writing thing for s4, which they kinda forgot to do throughout the entirety of the season so, yeah.

[rinharu-purple]

Mr. Love MC’s Choice: Gavin

We fellow producers all have our favorite LI in the game for whom we save our gems and dates, replay their chapters over and over again, sucking our bank accounts dry during the process. And that’s what makes this game so fun! However in my opinion MC’s personal choice is Gavin. I will try to explain it as thoroughly as possible in this post. Obviously they are only my personal opinions at the end of the day so please don’t freak out if you beg to differ ^_^

There are spoilers ahead and this post is a long one, you were warned!

A big, warm hug and grandious thanks to @smallersocksx​ for proof reading so fast and sharing her ideas! <3  </p>

Up until now, I’ve always analyzed ships in subtopics, so this time won’t be any different so I will just dive right into it:

Body Language

The law of attraction between two people in a romantic way has some thumb rules, one of them is that when you like someone then you try to touch them at every opportunity. From all of our LI’s Gavin is by far the one with the most body contact to the MC (The main story only atm, I will come to his dates in a minute ;)). I think the anime speaks for itself, in every single Gavin episode and some of other LI’s episodes (ahem…ep 10 but also ep 11…ahem) Gavin and MC are always in an embrace or a meaningful “hands-on” moment…In the game MC and Gavin are quite often touchy with each other, MC seems to not holding her hands back every time she feels like Gavin’s hurt and reflexively touches him, she is also highly concerned about his hair since every time his hair get messed up by the wind, rain or hormones (swh ;)), MC doesn’t waste any second before correcting his hair. Every reunion they have results in MC reaching out her hands towards Gavin and surprisingly never other way around. Even in a perillious moment in chapter 22 when Gavin goes completely wild and unleashes his “beast-self” the first thing MC wants to do is embrace him. In chapter 24, at the very end among all routes, MC only tells Gavin that she’s missed him and hugs him. Chapter 27...again MC wants to check Gavins body for injuries and tends to them the second they are alone in a closed room. They both yearn for each other’s touch all the way, no matter in which narrative.

If I were to start counting Gavin’s touchy touchy moments on the other hand, then we have to prepare a 4 volumes encyclopedia because that male individual is all about touching MC. Another hint for their closeness is that MC makes notes on Gavin’s scent quite often, mostly related to his jacket or his embrace and while doing it, she always uses adjectives like “clean”, “distinct” or “unique”. Again in ch. 15 she knows its Gavin standing behind her even without looking, because she senses his scent: “A scent that I’d recognize anywhere”. Surely there are many scenes, where MC holds hands with another LI or makes a remark of their scent, but they are not at the intensity or frequency level that of Gavin’s.

       2. The Setting

All four LI’s are representing a certain archetypes women are usually attracted to:

Kiro is a pop idol (target audience 13-15)

Victor is the young successful businessman with a high dominant demeanour and Mr. Grey-ish attitude (target audience 25 upwards or any 50 shades of Grey reader)

Lucien is a young attractive professor with a mysterious and enigmatic vibe (target audience 20-24)

Gavin is the misunderstood bad boy (high school) and later a righteous police officer (16-19 for the bad boy Gavin and 20 upwards for the righteous police officer, special agent, military commander... a pilot?! anything including a uniform fetish)

So, in the game, Elex could take any of these paths and develop it in a way that the chosen path becomes a true love story. I gotta admit, Victor’s story comes at times very close to being one. However, his never-ending bickering and belittling in his 90% of the time cold demeanour just make him lose major points. Plus, MC mostly goes along with Victor’s tone, even though she is a kind and friendly person, she bickers with Victor not because that’s her personality but because that’s the way she can cope with him. If only he were a little bit less domineering.. Which is why I never feel like MC and Victor would belong together irl. 

Seemingly Elex and Mappa take Gavin’s way imo. Because… 

In the main story MC loves all of the LIs in a different way and also has romantic feelings to each one of them to a certain degree, but when we look at it closely and read in between the lines of MC’s thoughts Gavin is a little bit more romantically portrayed than the other guys. 

           a) First of all Gavin had a crush on MC during high school cannonically: Even though Gavin only says that it was a farewell letter, MC says once that she wishes that she could’ve read that “love letter”.  I will stop here with Gavin’s feelings because this post focuses on MC. 

           b) MC, too, was kinda into Gavin during high school because in Episode 18, when she goes to Loveland Hugh during her farewell tour before going with her ultimate sacrifice , she remembers Gavin in intimate things like “watching his athletic body” or “wearing men’s clothes-meaning his-”. Additionally she remembers taking note of his face shining in the sun in the very back of the line during her recital. Even before it all she was specifically interested in him. Her memories with the other LI s are comprised of rather friendly moments like flying kites together but when it comes to Gavin she once again thinks about more intimate elements. Not to mention that the game gives MC a farewell with Gavin. In her final moments she only thinks that for Gavin her grievance would be the hardest. In the End of the Abyss era (ch. 15-18) MC meets all of the LIs after their changes again and reacts to all of them with joy…surely, but only when she sees Gavin hovering above her in the helicopter it is again…drum roll…drama: “The next second I saw a pair of amber eyes…shining like brilliant skies” this girl is always romanticizing Gavin.

“-Can you hear me?

-Can you see me?

-See my heart pounding again at the sight of you?” (so are you saying that your heart wasn’t pounding before? oh ok ;))

Fast forward to CH34 where MC fights Leto for the final time and remembers our guys and again, while she remembers other LIs for their sacrifices and their protection of her, she remembers Gavin's warm arms...

           c)The game takes his time and turns the half of a whole chapter into a date in chapter15 Ep 1-9. There is no other chapter in the game where MC spends time with any of the other LI’s in which there is only the two of them, whereas nothing relevant to the main story happens and they share solely many sweet, romantic and almost hot (when MC tries to dry Gavin’s face in her flat and realizes that she stands way too close to him, she then prepares herself to say something, but gets interrupted by the alarm) and again, MC is getting close to Gavin, not the other way around like Lucien pushing MC against the blackboard, that little sneaky Lucien (actually I could write a post with a masterlist of Lucien’s advances to MC:D).

           d) MC’s premonitions revolve mostly around Gavin (when they are not about the whole world or the black queen). Her dream about the rooftop rescue, her Room 404 dream, her daydream in the office in 6-13 in which Gavin’s suffering and from which she wakes up crying out his name leading to Willow, Kiki and Anna remark on playfully how unfair it is to dream about Gavin and disregarding the other guys. She also sees his future in episode 15 twice! If I am not mistaken, she only sees Victor’s future once in her dream and a vague vision of him in ch 18 but other than that she has no premonitions about Lucien or Kiro. Besides in the anime MC uses her power unintentionally yet instinctively twice while having Gavin in mind in episodes 5 and 8. The third time, she uses her powers in this way is in episode 11 with Victor but he is not her driving force for this but she is driven by the imminent danger they both are in and she doesn’t particularly think about Victor at this moment. In the game it additionally happens in chapter 22 when Gavin is cornered by the mechanical arms and is in a tight spot, this sight makes MC have a surge of rage and to unleash her powers in a great magnitude. Gavin is Queen’s soft spot i.e. More importantly Gavin is a constant part of MC’s future frame. She has her visions about other LI’s past but when it comes to Gavin it’s only his future. MC doesn’t have visions about Gavin’s past, like, ever. While Kiro, Lucien and Victor are stuck in their pasts with MC, Gavin has made peace with his past, is living in the present and looking forward the future (one of his best qualities imo, not being stuck in the past). Ironically, it’s MC, who’s stuck in the past in Gavin’s case. 

       e) I will intentionally not delve much into S2 stuff, but one thing has to be in this post…We know that in S2 MC goes back in time and relives the last 17 years. During these 17 years she makes sure to spend her high school years close to Gavin. So given the chance to rewrite her past, she would choose to make good for the lost years that she regretted dearly in S1 (she gushes out about her regrets in S2 Late Autumn Date in detail). We are yet to find out more about the nature of their relationship during high school, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a “will they, won’t they” situation. Since the game wouldn’t put any of the guys in an ex-boyfriend role, that would be the most romantic frame possible.

        3.  How other people see Gavin x MC

f) In CH 36, the one before CH 37, where every LI gets the same intimate moment with MC, only Lucien and Gavin are getting close to kissing her to which MC doesn't show any rejection towards... She is the one accidentally kissing Gavin btw and this is the only time before CH37 that MC either accidentally or willingly kiss any LI on his face or near his lips.

g) In S1, MC only posts two pics with the boys in her moments. One of them is a selfie with Lucien and the second one is with Gavin, hugged from behind. No other LIs ever have a moment with MC. Neither on their accounts, nor on MCs.

It is always a good indicator to look at how other characters perceive a particular ship. For Gavin and MC, it is almost obvious that once they are standing side by side, others see them instantly as a couple. Sure, at the orphanage some children ask Lucien if MC is his girlfriend or that one actress threatens MC to stay away from Victor because he’s hers (btw what happened to her?) With Gavin however, it’s practically a running joke. 

As mentioned above, her once daydream in the office with Gavin shoutout in CH 6-13 drew the attention of her co-workers, leading them to mock her for thinking about him too much even though her dream was rather a nightmare. Besides, Gavin is the one showing up the most in MC’s office and he also lift her up to his shoulders once in the Visiting Hours date and Homer took a pic of that hilarious moment. 

Every time MC is at STF HQ, respectively, Gavin’s co-workers or subordinates too take note of her presence and in chapter 12 they are even caught red-handed by one of the agents as MC is busy “correcting” Gavin’s hair (because see point 1). Eli seems to be aware of the intimacy between the two and even probably assumes that they’ve done the deed, because in ch 12 he is surprised to hear that MC hasn’t seen Gavin’s wound yet. He presumes that she already saw him naked…oh Eli! Season 2 has even more eminent scenes, we just have to wait and see.

In chapter 15 when they deliver Perry to the hospital, they are mistaken to be his parents by the hospital personnel not once but twice! Needless to say, they don’t find it necessary to correct the misunderstanding. I mean Perry is, what, 6…MC 22, Gavin 24 but they automatically think that they must be the parents?! Sure thats common sense- wink wink nudge nudge ¬‿¬ -

In chapter 22 Shaw makes a comment on MC willing to go to where Gavin is  with a “Really, all you do is following him, isn’t it?”. He uses MC to trigger Gavin in Airport date as well.

And of course, there is Minor…The ultimate number one wingman and the most original Gavin-stan! Minor uses everything in his power to bring them together both in the main story and in dates. He even calls her Sis-in-Law in public in CH 35 which MC doesn't reject. This doesn’t even need explanation.

Last but not least:

Their couple chemistry went viral lol.

Visually speaking, when they stand side by side, for me Gavin and MC look the most like a couple (Kiro is too childish and fashion icony compared to MC and Victor is too mature and business attire-ish making him look like her uncle rather than boyfriend, Lucien is the only one besides Gavin who actually suits MC visually). I am not saying that looks are the main indicator btw so don’t lynch me please ^_^

Come to think about it, MCs life is intertwined with that of Gavin's the most. Considering how she knows his father, brother and colleagues and spends so much time in "his world" whether it's at STF or NW. In the main story MC and Gavin have their favorite restaurants (ehm it's never souvenir due to obvious reasons 😉), share the same passion for music, have many common memories from high school and most importantly their world views are very similar. Both are prioritizing others safety over themselves and are compassionate for anyone who is in need. They are both ambitious and hardworking but not to the point of being power driven. Both are humble and finding hapinness in the smallest things. Maybe that's why they say the same things simultaneously or say the things the other would say simultaneously. MC and Gavin are highly compatible and have a harmonious, healthy relationship despite the conspiracy around them.

     4. Anime

Okay okay, listen…Yes, the anime wasn’t the best adaptation and many of us were disappointed by the ending (including me), still, the anime makes a part of canon MLQC universe and no Gavin-stan should complain about the anime because the anime put canonically Gavin on a pedestal. In a total of 12 episodes, all guys had 2 episodes each BUT Gavin was actually blessed with 3 episodes and so many romantic moments to count…let’s count them anyways :)

Mappa introduces all guys in episode 1 so MC encounters them all in the first 25 minutes but she first meets Gavin in episode 2 and the two spend almost the entire time of the episode together, not to mention the extremely romantic first-fly scene in the sunset. As I mentioned in point 1, MC and Gavin are always in physical contact in any given episode. Anime made sure to portray every single interaction they have romantically.

They even went so far to mix Gavin scenes in other guys episodes (he offers her a ride to work in ep 3, she has an emotional moment with him after the first shooting misunderstanding while Lucien is standing right next to her in ep 4, Gavin is the one to catch MC mid-air in ep 10, this episode ends with them in their life and death embrace falling down in dawn… and then he falls on her in ep 11).

When it’s a Gavin episode MC has no romantic scenes with any of the other guys, let alone having any scenes at all. Its only about Gavin in Gavin episodes. Also, the storyline is edited in a way that between MC and Gavin a romantic story develops. Their meet cute conspiracy, their misunderstanding with Lucien, followed by the “drop the senpai” offer and finally that 5 seconds long gaze deeply in the eyes in ep 8 while holding hands.

It is really sad that the anime ruined this development in the final episode but taking into consideration that there might be a second season, they probably chose to make the change in Gavin’s character after the NW project remarkable.

Another point in the anime is  that they kinda exaggerate Gavin’s Evol a little bit. During his stand-off with Lucien Gavin’s bullet cuts through Lucien’s shield and all in ep 8,11 and 12 there is a significant emphasis on the intensity and destructive power of Gavin’s Evol. I mean, whose Evol is the most upfront one in episode 12? We see Lucien using his Evol only twice, both very briefly, Kiro/Helios/Key and Victor even have to use guns to protect themselves and/or MC. Gavin’s shown using a pistole once at the beginning, after that it’s all turbines and tornadoes and just Gavin unleashed. 

I think it’s an exaggeration because in my personal opinion, Lucien is actually the one with the strongest Evol, followed by Victor and then comes Gavin. Lucien’s ability to copy an Evol is simply the strongest trait one could have, sure it comes with the downside that he then doesn’t have enough time and focus to excel in any of those Evols, Victor can literally create black holes are you kidding me?! But because his Evol has its limits it puts him in the second place. But in the anime, Gavin’s Evol is extremely powerful and destructive and they also created some really cool scenes in which Gavin uses his Evol in various styles (accelerating his bullets speed, dodging a bullet, lifting MC in any and every situation, flying- obviously- and sometimes just overpowered destruction).

But in the anime in comparison, Lucien looks like a copy-cat of Evols and Victor like someone who travels through time to find out nothing can change the course of events (on a side note I will never understand why did Mappa toned down Victor so heartlessly, he is a  powerful character and has countless sweet, emotional moments with MC).

        5. Dates

I left dates to the end because they are highly subjective and don’t belong to the main story. NEVERTHELESS, Gavin’s dates include here and there some hints which may indicate that MC tends to like Gavin maybe just a little bit more. I will just add it as bullet points here since I’m pretty sure that the list will be enriched over time.

Slightly drunken date: Shouting out loud in public “Gavin! I’m crazy for you!”

When the Galaxy Falls Date: “...and in that moment, I make an eternal vow in my heart. To give all the blazing love and the most endless warmth to the person in front of me. Standing on my tiptoes, I carry a heart which is filled with courage to move forward, receiving Gavin.”

2 become 1 date “No matter whether the wedding is real or fake I only want to be your bride.”  Here comes the Groom event where MC had a prob wedding with each and every LI but she actually only wanted to be Gavin’s bride (obviously Gavin’s heard her loud and clear since he’s bought a gem/ring right after) and that gem is brought up in…

The Returning from Afar Date - Thank you for silently watching over my mood. Thank you for always returning to my side no matter where you go. The white muslin drifts to and fro. My heart stirs, and I gently touch the muslin in front of me. Sunlight streams in. My fingertips brush the soft white muslin, tracing the word “Gavin” on it. I turn my head to the side, blinking at Gavin a little playfully. “This word - apart from it being your name, it also has another meaning. It’s “courage”. MC getting poetic, but who wouldn’t in that date (thank you @smallersocksx for reminding me and without @cheri-translates we poor Eng-server players would be left in the dark so thank you for translating season 2 for us!!!) but than MC verbally and literally makes her feelings clear in…

Late autumn date (2nd season translation by @cheri-translates) “I close my eyes, holding onto his solid arms. I lift my head to welcome his lips, savouring his unique breath. The person in front of me has shed off the roughness of youth, leaving behind only the purity of youth. He often makes me forget that he once used to be unrestrained like the wind. He has a body that is stronger than everyone else’s, a tough soul, a will that is as firm as steel, and a heart full of tenderness – it is soft beyond compare. 

I cling to his waist tightly using my calves, wanting to brand every part of him into my heart. 

“I want to bear his everything.” 

Gavin: “Do you like it?”

“I like it…I like it very much…I like it so much that I don’t know how to prove how much I like it” “The rest of my life is yours, The years that we’ve missed out on are also yours” (whatever I have, I will give it to you. I will give everything to you, leaving nothing behind)

I rest my case

[thedailyvio]

Every now and then I feel bad for giving 0 context for anything, so gonna quickly summarize my story stuff under the cut

The Traveler’s Found (TTF)

Skye, Gill, Marth, Kydin, Leo, Kira, Krieg, Heiwa, Narcissa, Sebastian, Vadim, Bahemek, Xenon, etc

TTF is hard to summarize because it has 10 story arcs and they all lead into the other, but the plot begins with ‘A wizard terrorist attacks the king of Hou’lu sending two girls on a quest to stop him’ which sounds so simple doesn’t it -sobs-

 Very adventure, political intrigue, slice of life elements

They basically travel all over the world, and I’ll quickly summarize what that’s like by listing each countries major influences

Hou’lu: Italian Renaissance, China

Sunobor: Medieval Germany, Japan, Inuit

Haldon: Folk Mexican, Folk Italian

Lavynna; Byzantine, some inspo from India to structure of things?

Gehinna: Ancient Hebrew

Parappa: Egypt-Germany

North Desert: Russia-Arabic

Harpies (more a tribe): Maasai

TTF of them all gets the most complicated but very incrementally, so it’s the hardest to express much on. But they get a cool hard magic system based on 10 elements so

Also TTF dragons are sentient, intelligent, and morally complex

—

The Miyoré Schism

A prequel to ttf by about 900 years

Faolan, Mien, Enlai, whatever I name the girl, Jiao

The plot here is a bit simpler

What happens when the one who pulls the blade only those Chosen by God can touch is among the race of people thought to be destined to serve?

This focuses largely on the Sha’li of East Hou’lu. As a race they have very distinct white hair, pale skin, and red eyes. At this time in history, monster taming was very common as well, so most the characters have a family or personal monster. Sha’li also have an ability to become “invisible” but in actuality they are lowering their ‘presence’ or ‘noticibility’ to all non-Sha’li

This story draws largely from Tibet for its aesthetics

—

Kingdoms

Ariella, James, Charles, Kiba

I have uprooted a lot about this story and not yet relayed it, but so far

A girl who wanted to become a soldier but was refused strikes out on adventure to do what she can for her country on her own- but to her chagrin gets a tag along

This story likely will have a soft magic system, and is definitely still based on Victorian and Japanese aesthetics. It’s actually a specific era of Japanese history but I can’t remember which. Possibly 16th c?

Despite this, it’s a low tech world.

Most fantasy type creatures/races do show up in Kingdoms, unlike my other stories

Dragons exist in Kingdoms but are universally evil and nobody has ever killed one

—

Magic and Cannons (MnC)

A wip name still

Cusick, Agathe, Romana, Kordell, Levi, Maureen, Ames, Sung-jin

I’m still figuring put the plot to this honestly, but the first bit is definitely

‘A narcissistic man is captured as a PoW and must find a way to escape’

There’s just three countries of any importance to this world, and it’s much less whimsical in nature than the others, being closer to reality in some ways, and having a lot more tech. Though it vibes as subtly cartoony in how characters have slightly exaggerated aspects to their personalities and behaviors.

Delemar is the country Cusick is from and is based on Wild West in many ways, they’re a very independent people which can be good and bad, they also give no hecks about safety and are pretty wild in general

Choson is where Romana is from and they are much more interested in normalcy and order, which can be both good and bad. They prefer reptiles and fish as pets to mammals actually, which feels important to mention. If you know much about history, I suppose it’s clear they draw a lot from Korea for aesthetics.

Choson is also a very mixed population in terms of race, which Delemar is very much not.

Kievan is where Agathe hails from and is based on Russia. In each case I tried sticking to 1850s-1900s ish for my influences of these countries, though socially they are very diff.

Kievan has an affinity for wine and is the only country that appreciates using electricity for power. They have harsh winters, especially compared to the other two countries which tend to be more tropical in climates. Kievan is less developed so far, but they tend towards legalism there, and while that can be bad, they are also the one not involved in a pointless war, so

MnC is what I call glasspunk, Delemar and Choson rely on ‘reactions’ for their energy sources, which I can only explain as ‘you know how if you mix two volatile liquids, they could explode? They harness the energy from such things’

This is possible because their magic system is a type of alchemy which has allowed them a lot of reactions not available to us, and with this they’ve been able to get treated glass which is nearly indestructible, great for containing anything they need.

Magic is still something within the individual, but in MnC the extent of what it does is change the properties of whatever you’re touching with your hands. If you specialize in using this and inventing things based off of things with changed properties, you’re called a mage.

MnC has a lot of strange tech this way, including trains, vehicles, customizeable guns, staves that through weird tech stuff can have sort of elemental effects, etc.

Electricity is not compatible with reactions btw, because it can cause them to explode outside of when they’re meant to, kinda like smoking by a bunch of canisters of gasoline, it might be a lil risky. So societies that use reactions do not use electricity and have things in place to get rid of it, and societies that use electricity don’t use reactions. Combining them can get cool tech, but is inherently risky.

oh whoops I went off there, huh. Oh well it’s not seen as often as the other types of societies/magics I listed so

Dragons in MnC are animals (technically wyverns?) and have been domesticated to be work animals. No fire breath but they do have a strong venom, I think a neurotoxin type?? And the insides of their mouths are orange 👀 oh and the domesticated ones are reflective like mirrors ish

—

Children of the Little Mine (CotLM)

Geno

This is the only one I plan to make a novel, because it’s set in 1950′s-1960′s New York City and I don’t care about those aesthetics at all

I don’t have it planned out very far for plot, but basically a gremlin thief boy of 17 has a strange ability to manipulate how gravity effects him, and seemingly nobody else in the world has this. But one day during a break and entering situation, Geno finds another boy with an ability, and from there they decide to try sticking together a bit to figure out why, and maybe put together a heist against a mafia boss in the mean time (two stealy boys)

This is very close to being historical fiction aside from abilities, which are /extremely/ rare in this world. I’m very inspired by Artemis Fowl and A Separate Peace for tone, and plan to have middleschool boys as my target audience. Though I love fantasy and such, this one’s still a bit close to my heart anyways

Anyways literally nobody asked for this I just do this to myself. I seriously wanna start practicing comic making skills, but I can’t do that too much for a daily thing when I can usually put in an hour at best. I’m trying to find a sweet spot for it all, but it may yet be awhile before I can post literally anything that sheds light on who the heck any of the chars I post are.

I want to though, and I’ve been running this blog for years now, so best to assume it’ll get there someday. I have still written a lot and planned out things, so progress still happens behind the scenes. Aside from the last few months but that’s not uncommon for this time of year. If you actually read this, thanks euchjsd I don’t think many will, but having it here makes me feel a bit better

[vampireqrow-moved]

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 25 - watching notes

This is what i got for Easter. An Egg-cup with a "no drama lama" on it :D I will be completely disregarding it's good advice and keep on watching these dramatic gay bitches

Also, when I told my mum that I'd go and watch another episode of the untamed, she said "ah, the show with the beautiful men". I did not correct her. :D

I got some tissues ready, as to the advice of several people 😅

I love wwx with kids :)

And is that genuine smile I spot there? :')

I love jc's little "what was I supposed to do about it" shrug to wwx :D

Jin Zixuan isn't that terrible (he really did get some growth in during and before the sunshot campaign), but I think I'm rather in line with wwx and jc that just because he's not terrible, doesn't mean he's good enough for Shijie

But then again it is her decision and I'm really glad that wwx and jc don't even try to persuade her in any direction. With his patriarchal this society is structured that seems anything but self-evident

Okay, Jin Zixuan's little outburst of genuine joy at her acceptance is kinda cute

I think we just fast-forwarded to the night hunt

Wwx's excited wave at his sister! 😭

Everyone looks already done with this party before it even really started

Lan Wangji even has his eyes closed at some point, like he's slowly counting down from ten :D

Holy shit! Well, fuck you too!!!

(I know I said I wouldn't curse but this warrants cursing and nothing else!)

Seriously???? They're now using political prisoners as targets in a tournament???

Okay, they're not targets. They're human obstacles before the target. Not much better

Me @ jin Zixuan

Okay sorry, but when that other Jin guy started bragging all I could think was "okay, we get it. Now stop your dick-measuring-contest and do something useful" 😒

I'M SCREAMING! Did wwx just actually asked for lwj's headband in front of everyone??? He might as well have started snogging him right then and there 😂😂😂😂

Lan Wangji doesn't even dignify that with an answer :D

Wwx .... he doesn't even have a bow

Okay, blindfolded

Okay, there's the bow

That was ... so hot

Perfect gif for wwx, btw

I feel this is going to bite him in the ass later, but for now I'm glad to see jin Guangyao and jin Guangshan humiliated :D

Also, lwj microexpressions are everything here 😏

And wwx, looking at him like a little puppy. See, see, see? I performed the trick! 🤩

Lol. Wwx just killed it so much that they just cancelled the whole opening. I feel like it's kind of indicative of his role going forward. A rupture in the system.

I just legit cried when wwx played his flute. Somehow, with forest reminding me a bit of Austria, it made me really homesick for the Alps. :')

Wwx looking so excited for a second to see lwj, but then deflating as he remembers lan Xichen's words is too much. 😥 Sweety, I'm sure he wants to know. You don't have to bear it all alone 😔

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

He wants to share your love song with you and you push him away on purpose you STUPID HERO!!!!

I never want to see that expression on lan Wangji's face again! 😭

I took a screenshot. See what I mean???

He opened up! Lan Wangji, mister stone-faced-and-sturdy opened up!!! And got rejected!!!

Also, with your flirting and the headband line earlier, you're sending really mixed signals here, wwx!!

And wwx regrets it instantly :/

The life-long confidant line 😭 (also, confession, I've seen a post stating that this could also be translated as "soulmate", which... highnhg)

"I still am" *clutches chest*

Please tell me they kiss during this scene in the book!!!! (Actually don't because spoilers, but still ...)

2 minutes of longing staring later ...

Oh Jin Zixuan, you daft idiot 🤦‍♀️ not everything is about you

Not that wwx is making things better right now...

Protective lan Wangji to the rescue!

Oh, I like madame Jin!!!

I appreciate wwx's concern for Yanli, but COULD YOU PLEASE NOT SOEAK FOR YOUR SISTER, SHE HAS HER OWN MOUTH! THANK YOU!

Sorry ... I know he specifically forced the clans to listen to her instead of deciding over her head.

Soooo ... wwx snapped 😬

Wangji and Shijie calming him down gives me all the feels 😭 I hope we see more of them working together. Despite their different personalities I feel they would get along well.

"There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man." Make that woman and apply it to Shijie. That icy anger in her gentle face? You should be terrified

Also, I just wanted to point out that during this 5 minute scene, with several different people speaking, Lan Wangji's eyes haven't left wei Wuxian even once

Yanli: "it's not his fault you can't hunt the prey." Oh SNAP

I'm so proud of Yanli right now :')

Jin Guangyao... at this point I feel a sense if dread when he appears. Though I am interested what he and Lan Xichen were doing alone in the woods

Wait FIVE THOUSAND participants? 😳

Where were they during the opening ceremony? They didn't hire that many extras for sure

Jin Zixuan is about to confess his feelings and immediately starts to get an audience. I love how, in this show, there's no drama without spectators 😂😂😂

I feel almost bad for him

Jiang Cheng is way too late to the party

If these cultivators weren't zo gossipy 90% of the drama of this show could be avoided, I swear

Could you please not listen to them Jiang cheng? 🤦‍♀️

*fist clench of suppressed man-pain*

Wen Qing! My love! 🥺🥺🥺

"I want to bring a man to cloud recess." That's basically lwj confessing he has a boyfriend to his brother, right? Right?

Meanwhile Lan Xichen, internally: finally 🙄

My heart

The tenderness in his voice when he says "bring him back and hide him there."

Lan Wangji must be terrified for wwx at this point. I'm kind of bewildered that all his efforts at this point seem to be centred around wwx. Like, I knew this ship would be intense, but ... whoa

What a beautiful scene to end an episode on :)

Also, to take stock. I did need the tissues, but only once and not during a scene that many people would, I think. I'm bracing myself for the next couple of episodes now

Also, I'm now half-way through the show. I both want to get through it quicker and prolong this experience to make it last longer. What a strange feeling 😅

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoon @kyrrahbird 💚🐇💚

[narkinafive]

thots on the responses to this post but i wanted to start fresh

the best thing about fiction is how carefully you can control it. every detail has a greater meaning, including death, and if you can assign a meaning to a death, which is so often meaningless, then all the better. sw is really good about assigning meaning to deaths, usually, building up to them and then dealing with the fallout. sw generally follows a specific pattern--most often the hero’s journey as laid out by joseph campbell--and one of the steps in that pattern is the death of the mentor (obi wan for luke, ahsoka or kanan for ezra, luke for rey). in sw, that Death pushes the protag into a character breaking moment, which tests the strength of their heroic resolve

with regard to the prequels, the pt is patterned off of greek tragedy, which has its own set of steps. literary tragedies are built on characters being destroyed by their own mistakes. in this sense, Death is a sentence passed onto the “guilty” (please note that i am NOT arguing the jedi deserved to be wiped out). it’s not a total downer ending, however, because we the audience can watch luke and leia be adopted by their families and know that, eventually, all of this horror will be ended. padme, the jedi, the republic and separatists, and everyone victimized by the sith will eventually have justice when luke inspires anakin to kill the emperor.

so where does that leave us with order 66 survivors?* you can explain away various absences from the ot with “oh they were hiding” or “oh they were just doing somethign else that day,” but as @gffa points out, if you present yourself as a jedi under the reign of the empire, you are literally painting a giant, flashing target on your back, and while the empire may be incompetent, the Single most efficient branch of the empire is apparently their secret psychic police (which... that’s a whole other post right there) as they can find cal kestis, who barely slowed prauf’s fall, within a literal day. so if the ot operates under the rules of the hero’s journey, and the pt operates under greek tragedy, then the intra-rots/anh period operates under the rules of dystopia, a set of rules which are, admittedly, much more free-ranging. 

but i think we can all agree that a dystopia needs a boogeyman. vader is that boogeyman, bar none; the guy is a nigh unstoppable one-man war machine who literally has no other purpose than fulfilling his master’s diabolical commands. you can’t reason with him, you can’t escape him, and you can’t defeat him. this is why vader is used so sparingly in swr, bc you can’t have your all powerful, fear-inducing boogeyman defeated by a scrappy group of kids every week, bc it vastly reduces his effectiveness, both in-universe as an enforcer, and out-of-universe, as someone who raises the emotional stakes through the fucking roof. so far i think sw has done a pretty good job of making sure that the heroes manage to escape only by luck or someone else’s incompetence, but... i, personally, would like to see a different outcome. 

wrt luke, the presence of order 66 survivors doesn’t have to take away from his achievements. i think someone like cere junda surviving, cut off from the force as she is, could make for a really interesting story if she ever met luke in canon (and, well, he’s gotta get that idea from somewhere, right). i’m not even that beholden to yoda’s line “when gone am i the last of the jedi you will be” (despite what it looks like). imo the mounting number of survivors, rather than detracting from luke himself, detract from the clean slate that the prequels give us. again, i am the jedi order’s number one stan, but they allowed palpatine and the empire to rise; hell, they contributed to it. the old jedi order failed, and survivors who try to live in that old framework can’t succeed against the empire, because it’s luke’s attachment to his father and his sister that give anakin the final push to turn back. 

but this doesn’t mean that that failure against the empire doesn’t have meaning. kanan’s death was so impactful partly because we have evidence of its direct consequences: the destruction of the TIE factory, the lessons he taught ezra which inspired him to take out thrawn (the only competent leader in the entire imperial navy), hera’s life (and jacen’s, by extension). obi wan’s failure, too, has a lasting impact, as it grants him a higher understanding and allows him to return to luke when he needs it most. “strike me down and i shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine,” indeed

(now that i’ve written this, of course, i seem to have convinced myself out of wanting cal dead... except for the fact that vader-the-boogeyman needs a win so he stay a scary motherfucker. and i want to see that beautiful boy in pain. so it seems i am at an impasse)

*none of this applies to yalls jedi ocs btw!!!! 

[feminetflix]

De atracos y ab*rtos - Of heists and ab*rtions or How women are being robbed.

⚠️ this contains major spoilers for LA CASA DE PAPEL / MONEY HEIST season 1, specifically episode 3!

Personally, I have experienced the series la casa de papel (original title) or money heist as progressive, realistic and not afraid to deal with certain topics like domestic violence which I will be commenting on in posts yet to be published, female trans representation and occasionally peppered with numerous feminist parentheses (see characters like Nairobi and dialogues around/involving her opinion).

However, there are certain aspects I did not enjoy to watch / do not support. That is normal and every show has its flaws, those resulting all the more dangerous however, as money heist is not just any show. The series is thanks to its popularity by now a relevant aspect of people’s opinion-forming and plays into the perception of many people all around the world, coming from different cultures and having experienced all kinds of upbringing. The target audience is not specified, yet crime drama (the genre) is estimated to target both females and males aged 15-40 years old. Means, also targeting minors and adolescents. Again, all cultures / religions / races / classes etc etc included.

I am fully aware that this kind of range was not expected and therefore not taken into account by producers, talking about the first two seasons that were solely meant for a Spanish audience, not an international one. (The series was initially intended as a limited series to be told in two parts. It had its original run of 15 episodes on Spanish network Antena 3 from 2 May 2017 through 23 November 2017. Netflix acquired global streaming rights in late 2017). The analysed / discussed scene is indeed part of this maybe not so carefully crafted content. Cough.

Let’s get right into it.

Characters interacting: Mónica Gaztambide (Esther Acebo), one of the hostages who was also Arturo Román's secretary and introduced as his mistress and “Denver” (Jaime Lorente), one of the robbers participating in the heist [Denver is an alias, all robbers being referred to with city names]

Context: Mónica has an affair with Arturo Román (Enrique Arce) -hostage and former Director of the Royal Mint of Spain- which leads to an unwanted pregnancy. Numerous factors influence her (for now) final decision: she doesn’t want the child. Shortly after, the robbery unfolds and she’s taken hostage among other people. She then requests an ab*rtion pill, which at some point arrives in the mint alongside other medical supplies. The scene analysed: one of the robbers (Denver) is supposed to hand her mentioned ab*rtion pill. Before that he holds an emotional speech on the subject, morally risen forefinger, accusations and tears included.

Here the dialogue without comments:

————Now my opinion / the actual post:

“You need money, right?” One might think that the amount of money seen in this frame (20.000,-€ approx. $21.701,50 according to Denver) is an exaggerated, way too generous gesture. Let me tell you, it is not.

According to a 2017 report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child from birth [to] age 17 is $233,610. If that made your heart skip a beat, take a deep breath before you read on. Incorporating inflation costs, it will be more like $284,570. Since that’s based on 2015 numbers, we can expect the cost will be even higher, babies born since then.

[…] This average includes everything from housing, food and transportation to healthcare, education and childcare to clothing, personal care items and entertainment.

Let me now remind you that Mónica is a secretary, so she likely earns (barely) enough money to be financially independent herself (taking into account that she lives near or maybe even in Madrid, her workplace, the Royal Mint situated there, so housing alone is hella expensive) and can’t really expect reliable support coming from the potential child’s father, Arturo Román, either, who initially denied support himself, their relationship a secret to the family and wife he already has. Phew.

Btw: A University of California at San Francisco study found that women who were turned away from ab*rtion clinics […] were three times more likely to be below the poverty level two years later than women who were able to obtain ab*rtions. 76% of the "turnaways" ended up on unemployment benefits, compared with 44% of the women who had ab*rtions.

“Enough to get the kid diapers until he graduates.” The problem or let’s say points raised above are now also being ridiculed or not taken seriously to say the least.

She takes the money, sticking to her decision however. “So, what’s the problem?” Or “Then, what is it?” A million additional things, Denver, believe it or not a potential child is a big deal. That and none of your business.

Also, see the reaction? How he stares at her in disbelief (and possibly even disgust, see the risen corner of his lips?). How he looks at her as if she were heartless, selfish, a monster – the picture often painted in this debate when it comes to women who decide to terminate a pregnancy. How he doesn’t respect her “no, thanks” and continues. Continues influencing her, later on even starts to mansplain his way into her stone cold heart. Okay, then let me continue as well.

“That he’ll f*ck up your life? […] Your son. Better to have your life f*cked up by your son than any of these sons of b*tches. Or me.” Call it ‘f*ck up’ or not – that is entirely her perception, her decision and I’d dare to say…she knows best.

First, because regardless of the fact that she is a woman and you are not – well it is indeed her life and, uhm, excuse me Denver, you’re no sibling, no friend, no acquaintance, quite the contrary, you have known her for what? Three minutes and already jump to conclusions?

Take the privilege of explaining her how a child would f*ck or not f*ck up her life?!!

Secondly, what makes him assume the gender of this cluster of cells, this potential future life, this basis for a potential life that may later on develop into a life (it is not a walking talking baby boy already, my friend!).

Personhood begins after a fetus becomes “viable” (able to survive outside the womb) or after birth, not at conception.

Does it provide a smooth transition for that awfully funny and figurative “son” – “sons of b*tches” (org. Hijo – hijos de p*ta) line or is it literal propaganda?

Why does he say “your son”, although he cannot possibly know? I’ll tell you. In order to distract the audience from the fact that he is referring to a pea-sized basis for a potential life by painting the picture of an already existing male human being. Mónica, do you really want to murder your son? Mónica, does that cute little doe eyed baby boy really f*ck up your life? Yeah, propaganda at its best.

Also, another example for ridiculing the point “a child would destroy my life” by comparing an unwanted pregnancy to a literal robbery at gun point. Great one.

“This f*cks your life up. A kid doesn’t.” Do you see that raised gun, that is quite literally an extension of a raised index finger? Wow, the drama. On a different note, did you notice the symbolism? A weapon stands for death, murder and guess what is also often equated with murder.

“How do you know what f*cks up my life? What do you know?” Finally. Exactly. He doesn’t know her, like at all. He doesn’t know her situation and no, he’s also not the pregnant one or anyone who would have to worry about that.

What do you answer to that, hmm? Let’s make this whole dispute even more emotional and dramatic. That ‘a cute little son isn’t as bad as a robbery’ didn’t convince her?

Let’s try with an extraordinary f*cked up and tragic life story, nobody asked for. Its goal? Showing the oblivious, naive, little secretary what real ‘f*ck up’ means, despite the evident lack of any sort of knowledge when it comes to her life (story). Again, conclusion-jumping and wallowing in prejudice at its best.

Have a look at his expression while ‘lecturing’ her. How disrespectful, how belittling. ‘Oh please, what do you know about life?’. On a wider scale: ‘How could we possibly trust women to rationally and with a clear conscience decide such things for themselves – concerning life and death, if they have not the slightest idea, living in their bubble of security and stability and no real problems’ etc. This is everything but taking women and their reasoning abilities, their judgement seriously.

“My mother was going to ab*rt me.” Now the audience doesn’t only have the mental image of a potential cute little son, it is furthermore provided with the image of a living, breathing human being standing right in front of them. Just look at him and his pleading puppy dog eyes. No actual child actor could have done it better.

Thank god she did not go through with the ab*rtion, right? Oh thank god she was not allowed to.

Taking advantage of this frame to remind you of the fact that we are still talking about a POTENTIAL future life, not an existing one that is nevertheless put above the mother’s already existing life in this impudent, low and unfair debate.

“But first…she inhaled the heroin she had to sell to be able to pay for the ab*rtion. Then she was caught by the police. Between jail, drugs and the police, I was born. What do you know?”

1)Adding even more emotions, subtle accusations and drama to that oh so rational dispute? Check. Making his situation seem two thousand times worse than hers (which he, again, has no clue about)? Check. Subconsciously painting the picture of reckless, irresponsible drug addicts/ “lowlifes” or generally female members of “society’s margins” usually being the ones to abort and make it seem like the state’s or whoever’s responsibility to prevent them from deciding for themselves? Check.

2) Then he even tears her valid ‘what do you know (about my life)’ out of the initial context of being confronted with endless assumptions and prejudice and blows it way out of proportion in order to demonstrate the insignificance of … everything concerning her? Her background, her life, her reasons. Everything.

And FINALLY *drum rolls* the wild theories and hypotheses and presumptions she was dying to hear because since he, I repeat for the twelfth time, has no actual clue about her life, let’s make up one.

“Because it seems that you don’t have a very exciting job. And maybe outside of work your life is not that great either. Or what is it that you do? ‘Kilates’? And Friday night drinks, right? What a f*cking drag. Another plan ruined by the kid[…]” That and the entire following paragraph. Wow. All accusations thrown at women who decide to abort in one.

Because OF COURSE a middle aged, down to earth, intelligent, responsible woman like Mónica Gaztambide has no other reason for terminating a pregnancy than not being able to drink alcoholic beverages or party anymore. Because OF COURSE it is valid to assume a woman or any person for that matter one has known for half an hour and interacted with for literal five minutes has a boring enough life that would not be affected in any way by a pregnancy, birth and ultimately being forced to raise an unwanted child. Because OF COURSE Denver would know how much a pregnancy can affect somebody, especially one that is forced upon a person. Quite frankly he has no idea and no right. The audacity.

“Do [your friends who are also mothers] seem f*cked up? / Do their lives look f*cked up? No, right?” Because you know best. Not only regarding her life but on top of that also that of her friends. Because those pregnancies or motherhood in general did under no circumstances end a career or prevent them from pursuing one in the first place or cause the end of a relationship or force them to stay in a toxic or even abusive relationship or change their financial situation completely or rob them of their fragile financial independence and/or free time altogether or cause any (mental) health complications or … you get the point. Oh, and because their situations are completely identical to Mónica’s situation, that is additionally not half as dramatic as your life story. Of course, Denver.

Seeing the ‘rational’ argument doesn’t really work, let’s add yet another dramatic, emotional rhetorical question. As a precaution.

“Do you know how much a child can love you?”

How could she, being the heartless, cruel, selfish, irresponsible, ridiculous and impulsive murderess you’re ‘exposing’ her as?

⚠️ Another spoiler warning for seasons 3 and 4 and still 1.

Would Cincinnati - that’s her sons actual name, not alias – really love her like he does now?

Friendly reminder: his biological father (Arturo Román) let her know - right from the start - that he wouldn’t take on any responsibility whatsoever, regardless of his later statements about doing so. Why those statements don’t matter? Despite his awareness of her state, despite knowing she was pregnant he shortly after urges her on to steal the cellphone she is caught with right after the analysed scene, ready to risk her life and the potential life of his unborn child. Literally, because as soon as she is caught with it, Berlín orders Denver to execute her.

So to those of you who will now say “but- but Cincinnati is okay and has an amazing life and does love her” etc etc, first think certain things through. If Denver wouldn’t have spared her, if she didn’t just happen to get together with him and if the heist didn’t just happen to work out like that, what then?

Cincinnati would have a different name. What else? Well for one, he wouldn’t have a father (that is now Denver) like at all, resulting in possible daddy issues / issues in general. How I know Arturo, the biological father, wouldn’t be there for them, wouldn’t fulfill all his empty promises?

Did he canonically care about his son? Was he devastated that he was not given the possibility to see him or did he instead focus on that random book of his and his speeches about heroism and honour and so on? If he wouldn’t have called his wife by his mistress’s name and through that expose himself, if his family wouldn’t have left him all alone, don’t you think he would stick to them? Just to paint a picture of who the father is and how he behaves and what we can assume from that behaviour. So the probability was high she would’ve been left alone with I quote “all the love” and of course all the responsibility. It’s a thing, Denver.

Secondly, if she didn’t just happen to turn into a millionaire thanks to the heist working out, would she really be able to provide a life for Cincinnati? Would she really be able to remain financially independent? Would her life at her son’s side really be all peace and harmony if she wouldn’t just so happen to be able to live from heist money?

So many coincidences, so many risks and no security. Can we really blame her? Do we have the right?

With these questions I will end this seemingly endless post and leave you to think about it, reflect certain things and – if you want to – share your opinion(s) with me. Please don’t hesitate to do so, as long as those contain rational arguments and most importantly respect. Thank you for reading!

(Also: sorry for the extensive censoring, I had to, otherwise it wouldn’t appear in the tags.)

[heesulovebot]

okay so,

the premise to this show is... 😬😬😬 idk but it irkes me that being gay is a literal plot device??? it’s quite insensitive.

for those who don’t know, sweet munchies is a new kdrama about a chef who pretends to be gay for a cooking show because he’s in desperate need of cash— he’s about to lose his restaurant, the only thing he truly loves, and his father has medical bills to pay. the synopsis for the show states that it will be an “atypical” love triangle, and it’s clear that instead of the het love triangle kdramas normally overplay, it’s a man (a closeted fashion designer) and a woman (the cooking show PD) falling for the chef— a straight man himself or at least that’s probably what it’s gonna be this is a JTBC kdrama ppl lmao

i know, this all sounds incredibly convoluted and extremely obtuse, and i don’t think i’ll be sticking around for most of this show because of these very reasons, but let me just take a moment to talk about kang tae wan (the closeted fashion designer) and how i’d lidorally die for him.

this entire time that the PD is pitching her show, i’m sitting there like “???????”. her perception of gay men is not only incredibly insensitive but so so ignorant. at this point i’m thinking that i’m just gonna drop this show right then and there, but then kang tae wan and her have a conversation.

he asks her why the chef has to be gay (finally, someone with braincells asking what i’ve been wondering the entire time), and she says that if the host is gay, he’s “not limited to men’s stories” (????) but also “won’t take just women’s sides” she thinks that a gay man could talk about other’s stories with his ~unique perspective (🙄🙄🙄 straight woman on her fetishist bs WBK).  but then kang tae wan shuts her down immediately:

“just the fact that you think that way— has the thought that you’re already prejudiced ever crossed your mind?”

(also lemme just add that i love the sassiness this conveys in the korean language because he’s using highly formal speech and it’s *chef’s kiss*). he rejects her offer (she wanted him to be the idk like wardrobe department for the show) and she gets a lil’ desperate and blurts out that it’d be a good chance to target female customers because everyone wants a gay friend, right???

he calmly (because it wouldve been ON SIGHT if that were me jgdknkdjnf) tells her that people aren’t things to be bought or to be had and she’s embarrassed af lmao. so he basically called her out on her fetishism and tokenism in one fell swoop and i was quiet impressed that they actually addressed that in a drama whose premise is basically just that. it’s a set-up for one big queer bait. selling this “atypical” love triangle to the audience.

because oh my gOD do the male lead and kang tae wan have aMAZING chemistry. and honestly i would be more mad but it’s a treat to see these two actors in a scene together, they’re seriously good. it’s heavily nuanced and i hate and love that they use such romantic angles and mood whenever they’re close to each other (btw has someone giffed the scene where he’s taking the chef’s measurements and the chef is just a nervous wreck at their close proximity— like there is no heterosexual explanation and yet leave it to kdramas to make it het lmaoooo).

anyways i lidorally have no idea why i started this post kang tae wan just gave me a lot of feelings and i’m high key hoping that they handle him delicately because even though they haven’t mentioned it he’s clearly a closeted gay man struggling with his sexuality (his conversation with the “gay” chef heavily implied so— his micro expressions??? i may or may not have teared up...).

and just the fact that they’ve already shown us 3 tension-filled scenes with the chef and kang tae wan, and haven’t shown us anything romantic for the female lead and the chef has me like 🤔🧐????

am i hopeful? i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t lmaoooo. if this was a thai drama we know this would be a BL 👀 also my bi ass would love to see this turn everything on its head and have the chef realize he’s bi or something because he hasn’t specifically said he’s straight he actually seems very neutral about the whole thing but that may also be because his younger brother is gay (i know, i know. this will never happen in a million years but a girl can dream, ok???).

anyways i’m probably only gonna watch kang tae wan scenes because the actor is KILLING it with the nuance and i’m rooting for his character arc. and i do love me some angst (even tho i wISH they’d stop showing us The Gay Struggle™ for once). 

[godstoryforme]

Intro.

You may be wondering, what am I reading? Good question, because I'm still wondering this very thought as I type this. Here's what I got so far.

Why?I believe God has given me a beautiful story. He's given you one too! I believe He's written these stories for you and I not only for our own benefit, but to share with others. When God shows me something that resonates deeply, it's often hard to contain such powerful and liberating realisations to myself. His story for others has helped me countless times in my lowest moments, countless! But I wasn't always blessed with close brothers and sisters who would so willingly share bits of their lives with me. It's a burden of mine knowing that there are still people who don't have a community to journey with. My prayer is that people will experience God and be encouraged by these short stories of how God has personally spoken to me.

Who for? In short, if you're reading this, then I believe 100% this was written for you.

I remember before I became a Christian I was bothered by how confident Christians were in the realness of an invisible God. They literally sing songs and bow towards something I could not see. How do you even know something invisible (i.e. God) is real? I decided if I ever concluded that this faith is true, I need to be able to explain it to those who want to, but can't see that God is real. So a large part of sharing God's story for me is to share how Christianity has been revealed to me as the ultimate Truth, and the Truth that continues to change my life. This is written for those who are 1) curious about Christianity, but also 2) Christian brothers and sisters who might be encouraged by bits of how God has personally revealed Himself to me.

How?Over these four years, God has given me so much I do not deserve. It's like I've been given all this treasure that I cannot keep to myself. I'm going to be as honest as I can with this blog. As much as I sense God is challenging me to be. My prayer is that this will be real, it will be raw, and it will definitely expose some of my personal brokenness and need for God. Maan, it will for sure be uncomfortable for me at times. But if God places a burden in my heart to share something here, I pray that I will. So here I dedicate this blog to God, and I will write faithfully, fully trusting that if God wants to, He will use it to glorify His name.

But. I'm going to be honest.

I am so afraid.

Thoughts that come, "Why can't I just share with those around me? There's no need to make a whole blog about it, jeez. The whole world doesn't need to know.""Why do I think my story is so special? God can use other people to share His story for them too."

I have been thinking about doing something like this for aaaages. A few days ago, during exam season, my final exams as an undergraduate student. On Thursday, 7th November 2019, I started it. (Talk about the worse time to start a big project). I finally procrastinated so hard from exam studies and got to the point where I just couldn't get rid of these promptings in my head/heart, and gave in to create this blog.

The promptings didn't really go away though. (This is happening right now btw). I'm obsessed with this blog that has yet to be published. I keep getting excited about what I'd share first, then next, then I'd get nervous, then I'd get excited about designing the blog, then I'd worry about whether I'm using the best blogging platform...blah. So exam preps really aren't going too great. Oops.  

I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't even feel like there's an extremely specific direction, story, or target audience God wants me to share with. I just feel this sense of need to share some of the precious things God has been showing me.

FYI, at this point, 4 days later, this blog is still not published 😅. (Obviously if you're reading this now, praise God for giving me the courage to not only publish this, but to share it with you). I have no idea who this blog will speak to, unsure of whether it'll just be another hobby that dies within a few weeks or days, unsure if people will appreciate/be encouraged by my sharing, unsure if I'm ready to be so real with my story by posting bits of it online, and unsure if anyone would even read this. But what I'm most fearful of...unsure if this is really what God wants me to do. Even while I wrestle with these thoughts I realised that fear has been a large part of any of my big decisions to step up and serve God. Whether it be leading a bible study, being a small group leader or starting a blog. Fear consumes me.

I'm afraid that I will make this blog about me. That these stories will somehow really become about me when it really was always about the author, God.

Wait. Haven't I just made all this about my fear anyways? So this fear is still about me then 🤦‍♀️.

But I decided to record this because today's message at church spoke to me. The passage was John 18:28 -19:16; teaching us how we should learn from Pontius Pilate's mistakes in crucifying Jesus. It was summarised like this, we must:

Own our conviction

Fear God more than we fear man, and

Put God's will before our personal agenda.

(Ha. It's like God knew exactly what I needed to hear 🙄)

Publishing this blog means to commit to all three with my whole heart. The uncertainties are still there. I still don't know 100%, but this persistent desire to share His story is too strong for me to ignore.

Maybe I've just got to step out in faith.

I've no idea if this will be on private, accessible only to a few or completely public. But if you're reading this right now. I do hope you can please keep me in prayer, I really hope you'll understand my heart behind why I'm doing this, and importantly, I hope you know that the very fact that you're reading these raw thoughts of mine right now means you are so special to me and to God.

I pray you will hear God's voice as you read these entries.

[icharchivist]

Kind of a weird curiosity. But I remembers years ago when there was talk over what it'd be like if Allen had been a girl instead (I even read a girl!Allen fic about her time with Cross. It was surprisngly good. Probably because it had no shipping =p). For some reason I just start thinking about that topic again and I wonder how Allen and Lavi's dynamic would be? For the most part I don't see most of Allen's dynamics changing at all (except more (more) fanboys. Lol). But then I remembered Lavi -

2 and I think it's been pointed out Lavi treats females a bit differently. He doesn't seem to prank or tease them as much as the males (not that he's the perfect gentleman either. Komui Talks makes me wonder how innocent he actually is XD). Nor give them nicknames. With this is mind I wonder if Lavi would still act the exact same (chaotic prankster. Touchy feely physically. Retaliating over rough housing) or if he'd tone some things down but do other things more (maybe try to be more like a -

3 big brother initially if he kinda of bases off from Lenalee and Komui, w/o the complex, to get closer to a female Allen?). Lol, Idk. This is kind of more of a Lavi meta question since it's been stated Allen's relationship is utterly crucial to Lavi's character. Again, I'd be curious if a dynamic w/girl Allen would be slightly different or the exact same (in a you're an exception. And people bop him more because 'stop picking on a sweet girl' while Allen cackles menacingly from behind).

Oh my this is... interesting to think about.

I think it’s fair to start with... the fact that Allen was originally a girl. Or more- when Hoshino pinched the idea to Shounen Jump she made a one shot with a main character called Robin. Here you can find it. And Robin... was an akuma. A girl in a boy’s body. Long story short, you can read the one shot if you hadn’t yet - but ye that was originally the character we were going with.It’s to argue that it would make a point for Robin planned as a transwoman in those instances.

According to the Gray Arc however, when the series became serialized, her editors were against the idea, because “No one would care if a girl would be crying”. That’s litterally word for word the reasoning. So Hoshino had to scrap it.

and she mentions quickly that it was one of the reasons she had no idea what to do with Allen to start with. He kinda started with him being a revamp of her character. (What I admire a lot with Hoshino is how much Her Vision can be affected by little things? Like how Lenalee became an entiere different person in her head the moment her editors forced her to have her with long hair.)

There’s also the elephant in the room that considering the timeperiod it was originally written. DGM was originally published with some big name shounen, Shounen Jump had some control over some choices, would react to fan backlashes (Lenalee being forced to have her hair long again is among those btw) ect... I mean like I think people may take for granted that for instance, the Alma arc was a complete anomaly when it came out in 2009/2010. That it had like. Major effects on fanbases. I’ve seen so much dudebros yell at this arc while i was thriving my friend. And tbh before the Alma arc DGM was often lurped in the “basic Shounen” category. A lot of people argued about the tropes it had to follow or not, and if this sort of things had any impact on the writting of the manga earlier? I can see how things wouldn’t go smoothly.(The Alma arc rooted out all the bad dudebros i’ve known of though. I don’t even care what people’s reaction nowadays are to it, to me back then, from the experience i got from fandom, it was revolutionary when it came out.)

I’ve stired away sorry, but Lenalee also works better, bc I know Hoshino fought for the Alma’s arc and that her editors didn’t agree with the direction she was taking. But if you read some of the interviews of the Grey Arc specifically, you see that Hoshino was constantly told how to rewrite Lenalee to fit a male audience sort of. Her editor pushed her to have long hair bc “that’s the kind of idol he found cute”, there was a complete backlash when Hoshino managed to cut her hair, the fans supported the editors, Hoshino talks all about it with such a bummer because “her Lenalee” had short hair. (also during that specific interview her editor calls her a moron. Later on she got called very annoying for sassing her editors after they called her dumb when she had a writter block writting the 14th song, and she sassed them asking for help going “since you’re far more intelligent than me-”. And the editor failled hard, Hoshino didn’t even use his writting, and the editor insulted her for being bossy. Needless to say I’ve since then been filled with anger with how the early days of DGM must have been hard on Hoshino).

I’m forced to make this preface because I truly think it would have affected Allen’s writting had he been a woman. 

If i’m optimistic i would like to think that nothing much would change because Allen’s writting kinda transend genders. But If i’m realistic i know it wouldn’t have happened.

As for Lavi specifically (wouh 7 paragraphs in and i’m finally touching the point of this post) the thing is that he also has a soft spot for women. (I mean i personally would argue he describes Dug as “cute” far too much in his novel to be 100% straight but he at least show his attraction to women more easily in the manga). 

And ye he does tend to treat the women differently but he also doesn’t... have a lot of women to be around to. I mean Lenalee whom he respects (and can be worried Komui will kill him if he tries anything), Miranda that he kinda met at the wrong time? He was always so overly serious around her because he was griefing and we didn’t see him with her at all since he got better. Aside then from his occasional crushes, that he does let himself feel, he didn’t really have an opportunity to spend more time with those women.

My point is just that the women he had met don’t help us set up a patern about how he treats them more casually: in term of pranks for exemple. Like in the day-by-day, we only have Lenalee and Miranda, and pranking Lenalee would be really putting a target on him to be murdered by Komui, while I would argue that Miranda’s anxiety (and the circumstances in which Lavi met her) would make him go softer on her. It doesn’t mean we know for sure he wouldn’t tease a woman in his peer surrounding in others circumstances.

I would love to think he would make an exception for Allen if only because of the timing: He was still handling Dug’s recent death and I think even if Allen was a woman the parallelisms would be there for him to be bitter. 

I want to think that because of that Lavi would still have teased Allen normally like he teases guys. But it’s not impossible that he would have treated Allen differently.

I think eventually like... If Lavi recognizes his soft spot for women (that it is with his strikes and whatever) he might actually be more ready to keep a guard up around them? Like I personally think he has a major soft spot for Lenalee but it took eventually Allen shaking everything up for him to acknowledge this soft spot. That he would have otherwise just protected himself against.

That, the reason our Allen was so effective was that Lavi really, really didn’t expect anything like that. and I think expectations would have been his doom, and I am inclined to think if allen had been a woman, he would have had some expecations.

Regardless: The major plot points that changed Lavi’s mind on Allen were emotionally driven and would still have had the same impact had Allen be a girl, i’m convinced of that. 

So it’s only on how he would treat that Allen more casually. And tbh... considering how vicious Allen can be, I feel like if Lavi treated her “more softly”, Allen’s reactions would probably have ended up with Lavi going “nevermind she’s a prick” and tease her just like he teases our Allen. I mean just taking the Vampire’s arc, with a whole joke about when Allen got bitten and that Lavi was lowkey scared because of that that Allen would turn into a vampire- in the term of, Allen being a danger to him. And Allen therefore sassing him because Lavi was being a moron. I don’t see how the gender would have changed anything, and if Lavi did treat Allen softly “as a girl”, I think this sort of things would have stopped him dead in his track as in “ye no she’s a PRINK where is my sharpy i’m gonna draw on her face.”

But that’s wishful thinking. I honestly don’t know and I think a lot of this post is more how i’m tryng to reason it. 

I’m sure more people would be more able to pinpoint exactly the characters and how it would work. I think i can’t ignore what went down backstage in term of the women’s writtings  so i cannot help but let it affect how I would see the manga as written by Hoshino be affected by it. But also perhaps if Hoshino had managed to keep her female main character, she could have gone more “fuck you” to her editors and manage to flesh her out to a point where half of what i’m worrying about wouldn’t even matter. 

If we divorce the story from the backstage stuff, perhaps there would be a complete different take to have - and it’s cool if people get to explore it. I am just... not the one placed for that.

I used to be good at transformative media, like headcanons and fics, and let those a little take over, but I got kinda insecure of my interpretations so i started to rely on canon a lot more. I already get insecure when I push my interpretations of canon too far. So something that really get me out of my comfort zone is not where you’d find the best answers about that, i’m sorry. 

But hey i hope this ask made sense? If not for the second half, at least for the half where I mention the backstages issues.

Take care!