#this post has blorbo disease

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 072]

This scene is important to me for the express reason that Hitsugaya was apparently the one to tell Jidanbou about these rules. Because they are friends! We know this not from any in-story interactions but from one line in Hitsugaya's Souls profile:

[Souls 133]

I'll be honest with you, I've never actually read Souls and have never thought about where it ties to canon temporally, but the answer to that is apparently sometime before Hitsugaya confronts Ichimaru.

This amuses me because at this point we know all of five things about this guy, and one of the five is that he's friends with Jidanbou. We don't even know the name of his Zanpakutou (that's the "?" in his stats profile box), but we know he's FRIENDS WITH JIDANBOU.

I don't have the English version of this page, apologies, but basically it's just like, Hitsugaya is a shinigami who comes from Rukongai, he's the youngest Captain in history, and he's currently investigating the Rukia business and trying to bring Ichimaru's shit to light. By the way, he's friends with Jidanbou and taught him the "Rules of the City." (Then the bottom sidebar is about how Hitsugaya treats Hinamori like blood, and wants to protect her.)

Which honestly makes this Jidanbou connection even funnier because Hinamori, the reason Hitsugaya is even in this story and the only reason we know this much about him (through Hinamori's Academy flashback), gets a neat sidebar, but the line about Jidanbou is just thrown in at the end of the main narrative like, beeeeee-tee-dubs!!

I've always wanted to write fanfic about this, but I haven't yet come up with a premise that was actually interesting to me. I assume they get paired up in this way for the size kink, though internal to the narrative that only gets us so far. After that it's like, okay, they're both associated with West Rukongai, so there's that. They're probably both socially ostracized: According to himself, people in Junrinan find Hitsugaya off-putting because of his white hair and his, well, off-putting demeanor; people probably make fun of Jidanbou because he's enormous and speaks with a lisp (though this doesn't carry into the Viz)/doesn't come across as normatively cognitively developed. But I'm kinda like, okay, sure, whatever. The most interesting part about that for me is still that Hitsugaya has a casual friend at all, because what few relationships we do see are extremely not casual. But also BTW Jidanbou!

I still think my favorite version of this relationship is the one where, while Hinamori's been off at school, Hitsugaya casually mentions to her that he's friends with Jidanbou the Gate Guardian, with absolutely zero explanation, as a child might about a brand new ride-or-die friend, as though this were completely normal and natural for him, and that's all that's ever said about it. Hitsugaya is definitely someone who has a mental white paper for anything he's ever done, which is why I find the contrast/discrepancy so appealing.

If my life depended on writing Hitsugaya Jidanbou friendship, though, I'd probably start with the City Rules. Because:

Jidanbou has been guarding this gate for 300 years. We don't know how long Hitsugaya has been living in Junrinan, but we do know he would not have had first-hand experience with any City Rules more than ~35 years ago. Not that you need to go to the city to know the rules, but I think canon Hitsugaya establishes pretty well that he doesn't talk about things he's not interested in or things that he doesn't have personal verified knowledge of. So for the first 265 years, no one bothered telling Jidanbou very much about this place he was guarding (not even his brother). He's a utility, and one that lives outside the gates (FUGAIKUUUU)--also one that's not perceived as smart enough for that information to be meaningful. But that whole vibe is not really Hitsugaya's style, because he loves an infodump--but also because he has a bone to pick with the notion of instrumentality.

If we're making a point of saying that Hitsugaya taught Jidanbou the "Rules of the City" (in quotation marks), we're introducing an interlocutor's specific POV. I'm not saying Hitsugaya's just making shit up for the hell of it, but how important these rules are, why these would be the top 3, what their original contexts were vs. being pulled out like this, and what's a literal municipal code vs. a social more vs. just something Hitsugaya has personal commentary about, are up in the air. What I'm saying is, I feel like these have "a gigai is for eating beans" energy.

At minimum, I enjoy this because this is all information that is completely incidental not only to the main storyline but ALSO to the Detective Hitsugaya B-side. But I love that Bleach is consistently so, so interesting about all these characters and their POVs and the rules that do or don't exist in the world, particularly at these early junctures, where most of what we've heard about Soul Society is from Rukia, and a lot of it we've already seen contradicted; and we'll continue to as the arc unfolds. Who even NEEDS Kyouka Suigetsu??

[dabidagoose]

Love wugglies (my DND char) cause on paper he's a level 12 sorcerer but last session he turned himself into a dog and cast eldritch blast. Ok google how to triple multiclass without actually multiclassing.

[confetti-critter]

I did look for an orange mack hat online btw

[brucewaynehater101]

I severely need Tim to get hit by The Clench a second time. I need him to cough blood and bleed from all orifices. I need him to get back on that medical bed and wrapped with a whole bunch of bandages. I want Tim to be on the verge of hopelessness because he doesn't believe he would make it. I want Bruce to be so firm in his denial, everyone believes his words as truth, making Tim super bitter on the inside but feeling touched that he actually cares. I want Tim to be on the verge of death, and Jason and Damian doing their utmost best to find a cure for Tim, but there's not enough time and their best doesn't feel like it's enough and. I need Dick to be his original, unhinged, rageful self on the warpath for whoever had the wonderful idea to give his baby brother The Clench a second time. I need Cass breaking bones and putting people on the verge of death because she's scared and angry and no one can stop her, not until her little brother is safe. And why Tim? Why not any other character? *grabs you by the face and squishes your cheeks* Because that boi is my blorbo and things need to happen to him

Tim barely survived the Clench with a fully functioning immune system. I doubt he'd survive a second dose... but that could be part of the angst.

Maybe he survives because Bruce already has the cure on hand, or maybe Ra's al Ghul releases a different deadly disease to take out Tim.

For Tim, I don't think slowly withering away in bed is something he can handle. He's meant to be up and helping others. He'd be so frustrated with his failing health, his constant sleeping (which loses a ton of time), and how his family hovers around him. He feels miserable (pain, fever, shaking limbs, vomiting, etc). He just wants to feel okay again. He wants his family to stop looking at him like that. He doesn't have enough energy to reassure or help them.

Tim is clenching the bed sheets as another family member sits by his bedside and confesses their regrets in case this is it. He hears the distinct pitches, tones, and defense mechanisms as they apologize for past transgression. With the way Tim's voice keeps sputtering into coughs, he can't interrupt or absolve them. He wishes they wouldn't do this.

He had forgiven them long ago.

Damian, a kid who's seen so much death, shouldn't be so shaken at Drake's frail figure. The sight of the person he's just starting to accept as his brother shouldn't cause the younger one's hands to shake. Tim has always been fallible (Damian has seen it when he pushed Tim off that dinosaur), but he's never been so defenseless and weak. The youngest Wayne can hardly leave his post at Tim's door or bedside.

[taldigi]

I uh went back to that dadske post and was going add a few more tags for flavor or context but I wrote toooo much so I'll just post as a text post instead. Yes, this is my hyperfixation and yes!! I do want to make my blorbo sad and miserable as all hell but I also need him to be loved relentlessly and made whole by his friends.

anyway Yuuko got her hair from her mother- and Yosk lets his hair return back to black because the wife hated him dying it. you can only handle so many years of being addressed as a disappointment before latching onto the fist person to express otherwise. (3 for 3! Get Saki'd, idiot!) then working too hard to do ANYTHING please that person (even though they might not really be the best person and are using you)

Go on boy, ditch your weird friends and your hobbies and things that make you happy and settle for the stable but soulless option of being a manager at a job you hate! (I am a firm believer in a "Manager of Junes Yosuke NOT good enrichment" after all.) Cause all thats embarrassing. dont you want me to be proud of you? The only person who's ever loooved you for you? (which is fundamentally untrue but when has depression or manipulation ever been rational?)

n/e/way one nasty divorce later and he's moving back to inaba for the cheaper rent for a place a that can actually fit him and a kid- and to be closer to his parents- hoping that maybe they would able to help out with the kid. Besides, he has an assured position at the Inaba junes. (the prodigal prince returns... return of the king... of junes)

BUT Surprise his friends are still there and Yu is too!! and yeah they're mad cause he basically evaporated but guess what? Yoosk isn't Yoosk anymore cause he's been drained of all his Yosuke colors.

"I spent years in a bad relationship and all I got was this lousy t-shirt... and a bad haircut and the total eclipse of my personality by the creature who steals my face when I perform customer service!”

I need Chie to try and fall into her usual banter and be met with... that and for her to grab Yu by the shoulders and shake him “Hes BROKEN FIXITFIXITFIXIT" and Yu having no direct answer because how can he help someone who's totally closed off?

Well, he can start through small things and reminders and food and Yuuko, which is proof that he's still there somewhere? After all, she's named after him.

I also need.... not JUST souyo but also the whole IT. Teddie and his niece bonding, Yosuke crying in some kind of relief and/or happiness when Kanji helps him dye his hair back again, Naoto helping him keep custody (so hard for a guy!!!) and Chie finally getting her usual banter back (thank god!) only for Yuuko to step up and kick Chie and forcing Yoosk to admit that what he and Chie have isn't antagonism (via explaining it to her)

Rise: *gentle gasp when she sees Yuuko* Tiny Yosuke. Yukiko, slamming her hand on the table and wheezing loudly: YOU'RE RIGHT.. SHE IS A TINY YOSUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then they gift her strawberry hairpins which she loves and it embarrasses him because oh god thats right-

Yu having to confront Yuuko's energy and be like "aw shit Nanako was easy in comparison" and Yosuke looking him dead in the eyes "I'm giving everything in order for her not to turn out like Nanako" which sounds bad at first (cause it's foot in mouth disease Yosuke still) but...

"What happened to 'partner', Yosuke?" "I don't think I deserve that, after disappearing and everything, huh?" & then Yu being too damn happy and giddy when it finally slips out.

anyway, I apologize for nothing. ur the one who read thru the Indulgent asf au/story concept. throws self out window and books it down the street.

[galactic-rhea]

irt your latest midi-chlorian/mitochondria post - what do you think would happen to him??? :0

See, this is why I shouldn't make that type of posts sleep deprived and away from home in a college field trip in which we were in four different states on a single day.

This is the post anon is referring to

Logically (now that my mind is more clear) the answer should be that he would die, if it's severe enough as how the analog fungicide i mentioned worked lol

See, the fungicide I was rambling around forces the rRNA to malfunction and thus the nucleus stops producing certain proteins needed for the cell. And is just deathly, there are certain fungi that can handle that better, if the application of that fungicide isn't consistent and thus they become resistent, but fungi are impressive organism that can multiply faster and live on incredible conditions, given that they have like, at the very least, three different types of spores (there are ascomycetes that have like 6-7 different spores through their cycle).

But allas, back to my favorite deranged blorbo.

That's stright up a death sentence for anyone, really. But especially for Anakin who has only half of human genetic material and the other half is just the force. With me theory about the midi-chlorians being the mithocondria equivalent, Anakin would be on such a perilous spot between dying on the spot and being basically a pseudo-god, because he has so many midichlorians in his cells that his cells are dying at an extre rate, but he needs the midichlorians to be able to live (and handle) that much power flowing through him due the force. This hypothetical scenario would break this balance to the core, and even if a normal person could survive until reaching an hospital and being given a diagnosis, Anakin could probably drop death on the spot, like I said, is cellular death and growth must be on record time, and this could be helpful with other ailments.

But with the midichlorian failling him and not enough energy because the new midichlorian would be failing as well, there's a chance that The Force would kill him, the equivalent of overheating or when a lightning strikes and you get too much electricity on a single lightbulb.

HOWEVER, to make this interesting and because let's be real, this is fricking Star Wars and this is fricking Anakin I-Survived-More-Deathly-Accidents-Than-I-Can-Count-Skywalker, let's pretend this midichlorian killer chemical isn't as effective as the analog fungicide I was talking about, it doesn't affect ALL of the midichlorians, but just a few to get our good-and then evil-and then good again-boy.

Whump makers take note, please:

It would depend, honestly, but generally speaking, it would mean he's out of all that supply of energy he uses the keep going. He would get something akin to chronic fatigue, momentarily he's all righty, and then of all sudden lifting a pencil is too much.

Being so strong in the force, but without the biological resources to handle it, he would like, pass out after using the force. Meditating could be the equivalent to ask him if he wants to go into comma. If he already felt cold, he's about to start shaking just by going out, this boy has not enough glycogen storage.

But that's the best of the diagnosis, the worst ones are if this affects the neuronal and nervous system cells. I mentioned briefly that an excess of ATP was linked to autism, ADHD, ocd, and other neurogivergencies, and even neurodegenerative diseases and dementia.

Well, the lack of ATP can do this as well, so there's that.

To name some few, very general ones:

-Epilepsy and seizures

-Vision loss, audition loss or auditory hallucinations.

-Disorientation

-Muscular pain.

-Headaches.

-Problems with reflexes like swallowing or breathing.

-Vomits.

-Accelerated (even more, in Anakin's case) cellular death.

-Loss of hair and muscular mass.

Given that in this second scenario, the midichlorians-killer hypothetical chemical isn't as effective and wouldn't case an inmediate death, then Anakin's fast healing qualitys would actually be super duper helpful then, it would be great to compare his healthy cells with the sick ones. In this case, I bet a doctor would be more than eager to take a sample of Anakin's stem cells.

He would be a great lab rat for both the hypothetic evil mad scientist, AND for the eager doctors looking for a treatement and cure, and since this is a chemical and we're on a far far away galaxy, I'm pretty sure the cure would be not-too-hard to find.

Oh gosh I didn't expect to write this much, sorry for that anon, but I hope this satisfied you curiosity? ^^;

[dailyrmdoodle]

Perusing your Royal Margarine playlist because of course I am (rm enjoyer) and I'm REALLY invested in the musical vibes..... Could you talk about what made you put some of these songs in the playlist? You don't have to explain the decision-making process for the inclusion of Every song on there, just the ones you'd like to discuss :)

Also saw Cannibal Queen by Miniature Tigers on there and 1) YAYYY I LOVE THAT SONG AND BAND 2) I enjoy it for RM 😊 if you were willing to listen to another Miniature Tigers song (especially for RM), I would recommend Bullfighter Jacket

YESYES YES GGGGRGEHRGRGRHRG MY PLAYLIST IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME, HALF OF MY DISEASE COMES FROM THERE, IM SICK, IM SICK, OOOUUUGHH THIS MAN, IVE DEDICATED HOURS OF MY LIFE TO HIM

ahem

Most of the songs I have on there can fall into a few categories, there's a lot of stuff so let's see if I can list them out, uhhh...

Songs that reflect his mental state and the way the acts, why he does things, what he's actually thinking underneath, things like that. (Some examples of those I'd say are like, My ugly, Puppet loosely strung, Noel's lament, The view from halfway down, One big beautiful sound, and many others that I can't list or else we'll be here all day.) Most of those songs end up being from musicals, because musical songs are really meant for showing character and that works great for my purposes. Also they're quite jazzy and swing-y for lack of a better term, which I think it fits him pretty well!

Pining and breakup songs, because holy shit look at him. You cannot tell me this man hasn't had like, so many people that he pines for or had a crush on at some point. *Slaps trunk of car* this bad boy can fit so many unrequited crushes in him. RM to me is the kind of guy that gets crushes very easily and very fast, and the worst thing is they're pretty genuine! He's just, terrible at commitment and honestly uses romance to not have to think about the parts of his life that he doesn't want, so he puts all his self worth into romance specifically. I'm going to squish him.

Songs that just generally fit his vibes to me tbh? I have at least a few instrumentals in there, and they give me him thoughts so I put them in. It's fun to imagine him being stupid and goofy and dancing tango (I still wanna animate that someday)

Sad ass songs because yeah. These fit in the first category, but they also deserve their own category because there's just, too many of them. HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS, BUT HE HAS SO MANY OF THEM. God please let him actually be genuine and open up God please.

Thirst trap songs I stole from some edits online. Next.

Sometimes shitpost songs that I think are funny and yet they still fit him, like blonde boyz and red flags. It's funny idk what to tell you. I don't have too many of those on there but I am accepting more because they make my day.

Songs that make me think of animatics and scenes!! These also go for a lot of musical songs, but also JHARIAH WHEN I CATCH YOU JHARIAH. Usually these make me sad!

Usually, a song will definitely fit these categories, but it's also very VERY common that I will just, grab a song and streeeecth it meaning wise so it can fit in his playlist because I already liked that song before and I like my blorbo being associated with one of my favorite songs. There are so many of those in there.

And I think that's it? I might've missed some category, but that's fine. I can also definitely go into specific detail about each and every song on that playlist if asked but I will not do that on this post because that would be SO MANY WORDS. Indulge me someday perhaps however, if you dare.

(And btw, I listened to that song!! I like it a lot!! It is in his playlist now :) stoopid pining man <3)

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

(Masterpost)

Rules: - Vote for one of these two characters based on who you personally think should win. It can be anything from "I follow aseriesofunfortunatejan and she talks about this character way more" to "I know this guy and not the other guy" passing by "who are these? This one's hotter" and of course "holy shit this is ALSO my blorbo" - You may reblog this poll and you may even talk about why you voted for who you voted! - You may NOT complain about the other character if you dislike them! These characters are all the poll runner's beloveds and the goal of this tournament is to have fun, be silly, be nice, eat hot chip.

Introductions and propaganda (under the cut):

Korekiyo Shinguuji is getting in the blender. Absolutely the fuck he is. No you can't stop me. In the blender he goes. WHIIRRRRLLL! I feel like my first Shinguuji character essay might even have been the start of my character essays...? I can't tell exactly - the Despair Disease, which I relate to (previous round loser) Owari, is also something I feel like I wrote about early on - but it was an iconic moment. I knew I had an interest in him but couldn't really figure out what I wanted from him, until I saw tumblr user and Instagram cosplayer (that's what I remember them from) plantsarehardcore (I think) post theories about him and that awoke something within me. I was inspired to explore his character, read between the lines, stare at his design, look at his quality and flaws, and I knew I could have fun writing all about it. He has like - a solid place in my mind as a character that is for me to write meta about. And I like how he looks

Simon Keyes (Sōta Sarushiro) is uuh. Don't worry about it Like just don't worry about it 👍 Straight up don't worry about it . This was all I wrote for Round 1, but now he's against another "just don't worry about it" guy, so I'll say he, too, has a second, hotter form. Is that anything?

Guys with long hair FIGHT

[fluffypotatey]

I read it years ago, and it's good don't get me wrong, but A) it's pre season 3 and B) I want your opinion

oh ok gotcha 👍

so you asked: “Hanahaki shadowpeach post divorce. Both have it. Theyre both immortal and hanahaki cant kill them, just painful and unbelievably annoying and hard to fight with it. Who would be the first to confess or would they both live with that forever”

ok, so my personally interpretation of hanahaki (and the interpretation i'm using for my top gun fic) is one where the character coughing up flowers believes that their affection are unrequited but can no longer reconcile with that fact.

as in, "maybe i've been pining for you for some time but i never truly hoped for anything big except what we had. but i cannot stand it anymore and it isn't fair how i can see you and feel butterflies while you look at me and acknowledge nothing."

i like this mostly because it adds to the angst factor and is a good character study for the blorbos who are terrible with dealing with their emotions.

tbh by s5 shadowpeach aren't saying shit. they actually start coughing by s5 and are in denial for what it means but both know that the truce they gave each other was an olive branch and an open door for reconciling but the two idiots are under the impression that it is only them who desires to go to a relationship that was close to where they started. so they continue to cough up flowers and because of their immortality, the disease is much slower than it would be for a mortal.

it's become their chronic disease that neither will ever confess to one another and then you have mk who knows that both of them have the same disease and is sick and tired of their bs. like, he knows neither monkey will die from Hanahaki but he is so annoyed bc every time shadowpeach inch a step closer, MK's like "ok, this has to be good enough to stop the coughing" and then it doesn't and he's like "YALL WANT MORE????"

rip mk

[bleachbleachbleach]

Helloooo love your meta posts esp wrt to language so much!! It really has elevated my appreciation for the series by A LOT lol so thank you!

I have a question regarding ch 98 that's been bugging me incessantly: in the official translatjon renji says "all i do is bark at the moon", however in fan translations (and anime) renji is seen to be referring to a star. I am unable to find the raws anywhere to ascertain the finality of this conundrum so I was wondering if you could clarify what exactly is the 'object' renji is referring to here and lend us your thoughts?

Thank you for reading! I started this reread because I knew that the potential to really revel in this kind of stuff was already there, but I am really enjoying jumping into it full-on and wondering about and learning about a lot of extremely random things as I go. I'm really enjoying it!

[Bleach 098]

The Short Version

In the Japanese, Renji says, 星に向かって吠えるばっか ― which could be translated as "I’m just barking at the stars." 

The word he uses is 星 (hoshi), star, not moon. My guess is that the Viz chose "moon" because it’s more idiomatic in English to howl at the moon, and the phrase conveys that sense of lone wolf yearning/misdirection--particularly given that he’s talking about Rukia, and Rukia already has some moon imagery associated with her.

The catch is, the concept of "howling at the moon" also exists in Japanese; for example, there’s a famous modern poet named Hagiwara Sakutarou who wrote a collection titled 月に吠える、or, well, "Howling at the Moon." (You’ll notice the same verb, but 月 (tsuki/moon) instead of 星 (hoshi/star). But that's not what Renji says. I’d argue that it’s worth considering the idea that Renji was making a choice in not using that idiom! 

The Very Long Version

Stars and Moons and Monkeys and Tigers and Snakes and Dogs and-- oh my!

Tomes have been written about celestial symbolism, in Bleach and otherwise. I’m not a big celestial symbolism person, because they’re such BIG symbols I feel like sometimes they can feel very locked in, if that makes sense? Like X = moon and moon = Y and therefore X = Y. And while I love an extended metaphor, my preference is for very unstable, borderline sloppy referents. Which isn’t to say that celestial symbolism can’t be unstable and sloppy, too, and that’s what I really like about this whole Renji section. Renji is the KING of "imagistically, there is a lot going on here, my man."

As far as folklore is concerned, reaching for the moon might call to mind the story of the monkey reaching for the moon’s reflection:

The branch the monkey’s hanging from breaks and he falls into the water. His folly lies in failing to distinguish between what is real and what is illusion.

One one hand, this is fitting for Renji, our resident howler monkey. I don’t know how much baboon we’ve actually seen at this point, but we’ll see Zabimaru’s nue form very shortly. But of course Zabimaru isn’t just a monkey—he also has the head of a snake. And we have this dog imagery, coming from both Renji’s affiliation with Inuzuri and other body parts in some versions of the nue. And later we’ll have TIGER in the mix, too!!

There’s SO much going on. If Renji were a Project Runway creation, Tim Gunn would probably invite his creator edit—maybe choose one motif, one metaphor, one guy who will scan well on the runway.

But Renji exists in excess, he IS all those things, both in terms of his chimerical zanpakutou spirit and in terms of everything we’ve seen of him thus far: tearing through Ishida and Ichigo; herding butterflies with Rikichi; stunting with Rukia in jail; delivering Rukia to prison; getting stunted on by Aizen in a supply closet; being friends with Hinamori; tearing through Ichigo a second time; and now, finally, giving it all up and begging Ichigo: Just save her.

Bone Metaphors

The reader hasn’t seen it yet, but Renji knows what form Zabimaru’s bankai takes. In addition to all those animals and their potential allegories, we also have bone. In Renji's earlier line, there’s an idiom that I wish were preserved:

In the Viz, he says, "I’ll always be a stray dog." In the Japanese, his line is 「骨の髄まで野良犬根性が染み付いてやがるんだ.」Which could be translated as "I am, indelibly, a stray dog to the marrow of my bones /contemptuously." Or, more succinctly:

"I’m a stray dog to the bone."

I love this line because it’s reaching toward Renji’s challenge to Byakuya, insinuating still more layers to Renji’s multitudes.

Different Flavors of Disgust

Still thinking about Renji’s second act in this arc, I am also interested in his subsequent line. He says 厭になるぜ (iya ni naruze), or, in the Viz, "It makes me sick." But I was curious about the kanji 厭 (iya), because it’s more commonly written 嫌 (iya), which can be used as a negative interjection, or, pronounced differently, as the same word you’d use if you hated snails, or homework, or something―嫌い (kirai). Using the kanji 厭 is a less common spelling, though the meaning is similar. So I was like, well, what is the difference? According to this article, the kanji Renji uses is a lot more common in Chinese. If 嫌 is an expression of digust or hatred, 厭 suggests that you’ve specifically gotten tired of something (and are now disgusted with it). It’s the kanji you’d use to create the word for a pessimistic worldview, 厭世観 (enseikan). That is all to say, Renji has become sick and tired of it, and he’s about to change tack.

Failing Poetry 101

Coming back around to the original line, I really like Renji’s "I’m just barking at the stars" specifically because it doesn’t really reference any existing idiom, as might howling at the moon. "Barking at the moon" is an interesting middle ground, in that "barking" definitely feels more dog-like and howling more wolf-like; barking is less majestic, which fits with Renji’s description being derogatory of himself. Renji is not a poet in his use of loaded idioms but in his negation of them. And if Rukia can be described by moon imagery, she too contains multitudes and I think it's well within her power to be the stars, too.

Kira, as Renji’s most poetic friend, probably rolls partway into his grave whenever Renji says stuff like this, because it breaks poetic form. But I think he’s probably also kind of envious that Renji thinks this stuff up, because it’s fresh, new, off-kilter imagery, it is its own kind of poetry, and let's be real, the moon imagery market is fairly saturated. *frames moon with giant rebar hole in body*

So I’d say, "howling at the moon" conjures a certain kind of poetry, steeped in all the macro-folkloric meanings of the moon and dogs/wolves. "Barking at the moon" is kind of half-half. "Barking at the stars" is not a pre-existing idiom (or poem, or expected language), and conjures a completely different referent(s), the immediate of which is, of course, the volume’s own poem. Renji is out here Renji-ing it.

[Bleach Vol. 11 poem]

[blondiest]

ATTN: valentines

okay now that we're less than a week out from valentine's day i am politely demanding everyone who wants a little virtual valentine in their inbox LIKE THIS POST and, if you have a character in mind, tell me in replies or DM which deathnote blorbo you would like on your valentine :-) i am trying to make a list of everyone i am sending a valentine to and while many of you are getting one whether you ask for it or not, i don't want anyone to get forgotten (<- has the forgetting disease)

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

being an artist is funny to me cause i’ll draw something and post it on tumblr with song lyrics or an emotional quote or something like that for a caption and then i send the exact same thing to some of my friends and say shit like “look at my silly blorbo bleebus babygirl <33333333 he has every disease” and they’ll respond with “omg 😦😦😦 the scrunkly ❤️❤️❤️ what a freak <33333” with absolutely zero context to the lore or meaning behind yet another drawing of British White Man MCYT #18265927

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

new most hated genre of post: people ~getting back at the fatphobes~ for 'complimenting' fat characters by saying they're 'so brave' and 'look like they're so soft and wholesome and give good hugs 🥺' (indeed fucking gross, call it out, stop that) by '''joking''' about how skinny people are 'so cute because they're so sharp and bony and give bad hugs, and you could totally break them in half 🥺'

fun fact! you are not describing the bodies of privileged thin people who just can't take a joke! you are describing the bodies of people who are disabled and/or otherwise extremely ill and/or starving! you are talking about people who face high rates of mockery and medical abuse! even without the other three factors, being underweight has massive impacts on your health and shortens your lifespan greatly! it also makes you physically weaker and much easier for people to manhandle, hurt, and kill, because unlike being fat, being underweight is inherently mutually exclusive with being strong.

how fucking sick do you have to be to talk this way about the bodies of cancer patients, AIDS patients, people with other wasting diseases, people who are atrophied from disability and/or confinement by abusers making it impossible to exercise, people with eating disorders that manifest by reducing their body mass, homeless and food-insecure people in regions that have decided arbitrarily that they should starve, famine victims, war victims, VICTIMS OF THE

FUCKING HOLOCAUST

what kind of soulless fucking ghoul do you have to be to mock us, to say that our bodies are unpleasant to even be touched and treat it as the height of ridiculousness that anyone we love might find us to be anything else, to imply that the only reason someone actually would is because they have a gross objectifying fetish, to treat us as a joke to own people who say annoying things about your stupid fucking blorbos, to talk gleefully about beating and maiming and murdering us and what our bodies would feel and sound like crunching under your hands

i watched my mother die of cancer. i watched her body wither even more quickly than most--on the order of weeks, not months--after she had a sudden stroke that destroyed her sense of taste. i watched her break down in tears more than once when she tried something different, just a tiny little snack, in hopes that maybe this time it would be edible, only for this one to taste like car exhaust too, because she was so, so hungry. she died so hungry.

i'm not going to get too deep into my own body and medical issues here. just writing this out so far is about as much as i can handle, and vomiting up all the years of trauma right now would just about break me. but in short i am an extremely underweight disabled person who's been watching my mind and body waste away for a long time, knowing there's basically nothing i can do about it and it's very likely to kill me, being constantly concern-trolled and splained and guilted and shamed and victim-blamed about how i just don't want to get better, how if i just had the right attitude and powered through it and tried this special diet they read about on facebook and 'it's not that hard to make food, just.... do it :/' then i would magically be okay, i've had people fetishize my body and praise me for it and say i'm lucky and it's great that i lost weight and they wish i had my body when i was malnourished/physically ill/actually dying, i've had to see constant victim-blaming Scare Em Straight PSAs from supposedly eating-disorder-conscious assholes about how DID YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DON'T EAT ENOUGH YOU'LL [gruesome detailed descriptions of what will happen to me, culminating in my early death],' i've had caretakers demand to know who they can pawn off responsibility on for my death if i died soon so they wouldn't get in trouble for neglect when the police found my corpse

'well fat people also--' shut the FUCK up i'm not talking about fat people right now, i am talking about underweight people because we are the ones you can't keep out of your fucking mouths. have a brain and a fucking soul, and also i can attest that your blorbos are shit solely on account of you using them as an excuse to behave like this. FUCK you.

[chiropteracupola]

The Great Meme Harvest of 2022

so in january I decided to make a list of them, and now it's time to share out the bounty. here you go, in chronological order with some attempt at indication of influence.

it’s [slay]ing absolute [penis]

robert downey jr [there are federal agents outside my house]

horse plinko

blorbo from my shows

submeme: blorbus and tumblrinus

submeme: [variation on blorbo] from my [genre of media]

eeby deeby

[x] dead [y] injured in [commonplace but annoying household occurrence] incident

seinfeld ‘kramer, what’s going on in there?’ [alternating panel] ‘it’s a [x], Jerry’

tbh/yippee

variations on ‘short people will be carried off by birds of prey’

sickos: ‘yes… ha ha ha… yes!”

submeme: sickos variations (ancestral sickos &c.)

megamind no bitches

the queen of england is dead (resurgence from late 2021)

L + ratio + [x] and so on and so forth

dear god the [x] you put on earth to be [variation on] sleepy cosy is being made to [do a thing]

it’s me boy i’m the ps5, speaking to you inside your brain

quirked up white boy with a little bit of swag busts it down sexual style

live slug reaction

[x] would be a beautiful name for a baby girl

my son he has every disease

[x] be like [complaint] my brother in christ [you were responsible for the source of the complaint]

submeme: my brother in christ in general

eight hour victorious video

submeme: car battery

advice for new tumblr users

get drinked / I drinked you

[x] is such a raw line you’d think it was from [shakespeare]

something very lgbt is happening here

tumblr blaze (emergence of, subsequent misuses)

microplastics

she [x] on my [y] til i [z]

bisexual misha collins

submeme: NOT BISEXUAL misha collins

dracula daily

submeme: paprika discourse

morbius

submeme: it’s morbin time / morbius memes by people who have not watched morbius and are not planning to do so

submeme: morbius fails again!

carnotaurus mating dance

will they give you food if you visit them

submeme: we collectively cancel the nation of sweden

there should be kink at [pretty much any darn location the meme-maker can think of]

we need an american girl doll who [ate someone on the donner party]

mousegirl bartender

the man in the pikachu mask

a bad day to be the prime minister of a small island nation with a constitutional monarchy / &c.

[he]’s a 10 but [utterly nonsensical explanation why this individual is not worth it]

new db cooper theory he went up

smooth sharks

I wonder how I taste (one partner expects kissing, one partner expects Bite Bite Chomp Chomp)

would you still love me if I were a worm

hair clips and other things that are animals

gandalf big naturals

it was a gougar (possibly a resurgence from previous memes)

image of infodumping girl in pink shirt

sans undertale and the tumblr sexyman awards / QUEEN OF ENGLAND DEAD FOR REAL

the tumpet. bwaaaaa

i’m on my puter

lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship

post stock market

[words in webpage somewhat similar to the name of a character or person indicated with circle and image]

a secret third thing

goncharov

submeme: this idiot hasn’t even seen goncharov

elon musk and his foolish antics

submeme: tumblr and twitter warrior cats

[lestat explains a piece of a media in a very strong phonetic french accent] / lestatspeak

hey. don’t cry. [very large number] of [thing] in the [world].

sorry [event which typically does not happen to human men happened to] your boyfriend [in exhaustive detail]

[number] ticket[s] to the barbie movie please

I went to [Mad At You] island and [none] of your friends were there

[diseasedfauna]

this thing inside my noggin has been going crazy with the disease creating

A lot of the stuff is real juicy so get ready to torture your blorbos this weekend for when I do post

[antimony-medusa]

Fic Recs May '23

What did I read this month? I didn't do as much reading this much, but here's some good ones I hit! Mostly DSMP, again, because I am Just That Way.

The Fics - Oneshots

Monsoon over Water by InsomniWillow Fandom: QSMP Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Ángel Missael Castañeda Vega | MissaSinfonia/Phil Watson | Philza, Chayanne (QSMP) & Ángel Missael Castañeda Vega | MissaSinfonia & Phil Watson | Philza Tags: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Good Parenting, Adoption, Chayanne uses sign language, Hurt/Comfort Length: 1/1 chapters 4,207 words.

Migrating pair of mers Missa and Phil find someone has been trying to steal their things, but it turns out it's not an enemy at all, but a much smaller problem. So adorable.

rousseau's man in the state of nature by honeyblock Fandom: DSMP Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot, Jschlatt & Niki | Nihachu, Jschlatt & Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot Tags: Prequel, Niki | Nihachu-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Wilbur Soot is Not Okay, Jschlatt is Not Okay, Niki | Nihachu is Not Okay, no one is okay sorry. but they have each other, no one survives a trio friendship Length: 1/? chapters 5,979 words.

Before everything started, before presidency and treason and bakeries, Niki Nihachu, cocktail waitress, meets a charming swindler. A wonderful niki voice and I'm so interested to see honeyblock explores these jagged-edge friendships, and where it goes.

how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is by Bee_4 Fandom: 3rd Life SMP Rating: Teen Warnings: Major Character Death Relationship: Jimmy | Solidarity, Skizzleman (Video Blogging RPF), Joel | SmallishBeans, Death - Character Tags: Limited Life SMP Spoilers, Limited Life SMP - Session 7, Character Study Length: 1/1 chapters 531 words

The first three people out of limited life react to their deaths. This one hits espcially hard if you've read Diskworld I think, but it's not necessary. Just a mostly-dialogue character study, and it's so good.

self-improvement* by honoraryangel Fandom: QSMP Rating: Teen Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Relationship: Rafael Lange | Cellbit & Phil Watson | Philza Tags: anger issues, Sparring, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, constant escape-route-generating Philza, Paranoid Cellbit, i gave cellbit the ARG protagonist diseases, Protective Cellbit, philza put all his points in wis and dex, No Problems are Meaningfully Solved, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Bad coping mechanisms, Character Study Length: 1/1 chapters 4,501 words

Cellbit asks Phil to help with something he's been worried about lately. They continue.

This is SUCH a good paranoid Philza— you normally don't get phil anxiety written out and it's so good here! And another notch on the "Cellbit is becoming my blorbo by proxy because he is so many people's blorbo" tally.

Spock 🖖 by astris, WerewolvesAreReal Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: James T. Kirk/Spock Tags: Kirk discovers he is morosexual, Crack, Texting Length: 1/1 chapters 3,628 words

Okay so I love a crackfic if it's done well, and this is done very well. Spock learns that sometimes people use Emojis to substitute for body language and convey tone. So he starts using them. The ship goes insane. It's very funny.

Performance Evaluations by glossyblue Fandom: Hermitcraft Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Tags: Season 9 RenTheKing arc, Humor Length: 1/1 chapters 553 words

Ren the King does a performance evaluation of his court, with commentary by Bdubs. SCREAMINGLY funny, and excellent use of the format.

Dead Heat by glossyblue  Fandom: 3rd Life SMP Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Grian/Scar, Etho/Bdubs, Joel/Lizzie, Martyn Littlewood/Rendog Tags: Alternate Universe - The Great British Bake Off Fusion, Comedy, takes bits from 3L and LL but mainly it's jokes about cooking Length: 1/1 chapters 1,707 words

Outstanding 3rd Life week by week recap of a Bake Off. I want to watch this so bad. Lizzie makes a cake with a genuine air of threat. Etho is rumoured to have invented the victoria sponge. Bdubs betrays Tango.

The Fics - Multichapter

jevin's egg disaster by Bee_4 Fandom: Hermitcraft Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Jevin | iJevin & ZombieCleo, Hermitcraft Ensemble Tags: Crack, like this is pure crack, Hermitcraft Season 9, Animal Instincts, but like in the dumbest way possible, i would tag this as having children but they're more like gremlins, Ficlet Collection Length: 11/11 chapters 6,566 words

Oh man so just sat bolt upright remembering this one and sought it out and then was like "HOW DID I FORGOT TO BOOKMARK THIS". Anyways Jevin hides easter eggs. And then they, despite being papier mache, start to hatch. And then there are mini hermits running around. It is so so so funny.

You Either Die a Hero by WriterGreenReads Fandom: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game) Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza Tags: Queerplatonic Relationships, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging, Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza-centric, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), BAMF Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), BAMF Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), The Hero Comission Sucks, Two Storylinee, no beta we die like unnamed villain #3 Length: 9/? chapters 24,031 words

Superhero AU Superhero AU Superhero AU. Okay so I know we've all read a lot of superhero aus, but this one is EMDUO CENTRIC. And Techno is a villain and phil is a hero and they FIGHT. And benchtrio is there being vigilantes I guess, but PHIL AND TECHNO GET TO BE AWESOME and there is KIDNAPPING (for fun) and when I tell you I am having a GREAT time. *points* It's my blorbos and they're superheros!

Misery Meat by ReturnsNull Fandom: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF, Minecraft (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Relationship: Technoblade & Tommyinnit Tags: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dark Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Kidnapping, spoilers in the tags, Cannibalism, Stockholm Syndrome, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better Length: 19/? chapters 117,709 words

Okay so this one is in my notes as "Bedrock Bros but there are some small problems in the relationship". Cause OH BOY. The premise is that Tommy walks in on a murder but the serial killer doesn't kill kids so he just takes him. And then tommy is a prisoner. And it goes from there. It's got really good character voice, and it's a really fantastic exploration of abuse and fucked up power dynamics, and at the same time I LIKE the characters and I want a happy ending, but we can't have one, because one of the people in this friendship is a serial killer holding the other prisoner. It's REALLY good.