#this post got away from me

[oliviasroses19]

Just thinking about how happy I am that we got a more complex, deeper friendship with show!polin. I did enjoy the book, don’t get me wrong. But at the start, book!polin was pretty one sided on Penelope’s part. We know she loves Colin literally from the first page, but Penelope was what feels like an afterthought for Colin. It’s only when he returns from his tour and spends more time with her that he starts seeing her as a friend. He said it himself, they were acquaintances, and only more recently does he consider them being friends. He went from liking her company to Colin “my wife” Bridgerton real quick (this form of Colin exists in both bridgerton universes, thank GOD). Their story feels more like acquaintances to lovers in my opinion.

What makes show!Polin so magical, and I’m sure is the true reason for the choke hold they have on us, is the fact that we got to see their history as childhood friends develop to best friends and then to lovers. We can see the love Pen has for Colin from the start, and while he hasn’t come to his senses yet, he clearly adores her in the beginning as well.

Then we have the letters. My dear, sweet, completely inappropriate letters (only in regard to the lack of propriety). Yet another contrast between show and book Polin. Their letters truly fortify their friendship to the viewer and add even more magic to their story. Penelope is eager to talk to the man she loves and she is elated that he wants to talk to her too. And Colin gets the space to be himself in these letters. Penelope has never once made him feel silly for his rambling about the places he’s visiting while his family doesn’t shy away from brushing him off or chastising him for talking about his travels. He knows that there is at least one person back home that is excited to hear from him. His heartache confusion over not hearing from her on his second tour only solidifies how dear her letters and friendship are to him. Penelope plays such a large part in his life, he spirals when he thinks he lost her friendship. “Is there something wrong, Pen? Between us, I mean” gets me every time 😭.

We see the yearning from Pen for two seasons, see her protect and love Colin in secret, and heartbreakingly see her give up hope that he will ever love her in that way. We also get to see Colin look for her at every social assembly, protect Pen multiple times, and when he FINALLY realizes his feelings aren’t completely platonic, we see his own yearning. This makes the entire journey all the more gratifying for the viewer.

I can’t believe it sometimes that we finally made it. We got our Polin endgame. It’s been a long few years but those years just made the reward all the more incredible. The boost of serotonin I get watching them finally end up together is truly unmatched and hasn’t diminished no matter the amount of rewatches/GIFs/fan edits I see.

It’s been 6 months and not a day has gone by that i haven’t thought about my babies finally getting their happily ever after. I cannot, will not, do not want to give up the choke hold these two have on me.

——————————————

This post ran away from me but are we really surprised? Thanks for letting me dump out the contents of my brain, y’all are real ones.

[cecoeur]

His ass is not reading that book | Drive the Dream

Still: The Slow Home Still is an interiors book that invites readers to take on the philosophy of the SLOW movement. Living Sustainably; Local; Organic; and Whole. It talks not just to the question of the physical structures we choose, but also the surrounding environment, and what effect that can have on general happiness and wellbeing. Still includes about a dozen case studies featuring escape homes and owners who live according to these aforementioned principles, enlightening readers as to why they chose this path and how it has benefitted their lives.

[betterwithbooksthanwithpeople]

“The Great Bookery” is truly THE Dragon Prince episode of all time. the main plot is going to a cursed library. Gren actually on screen for more than a few seconds. super booknerd Kazi. Bait both being used as a paperweight and thrown like a football in the same episode. Amaya’s apology and advice to Rayla that leads into tHE ARC ONE RAYLLUM MONTAGE. Rayla telling Callum about her parents?! Amaya picking Callum up when he won’t stop reading and Callum interpreting for Amaya. fighting shadow monsters. “I hope you know-” “I know”?! Zubea saving the day. “GO”?!? CORVUS SIGNING. so much season six setup. it even has Karim being an idiot. what’s not to love

[blu3birdprince]

Rewatching Soul Eater and honestly I forgot how long season 1 is. 51 episodes. 51! This wasn't even uncommon back then. The original FMA did the same thing. Shows used to be longer, they used to take their time. Both the audience and the characters got regular breaks from the plot to just relax and bond. That's a big reason a lot of those older shows are still so well-loved. We had time to get attached. We got to see them in fun scenarios that wouldn't happen otherwise. Everyone got a break from the plot to just exist in universe. If these shows just sped run through the plot, we wouldn't get great characters like Excalibur. Who does nothing to serve the plot, but instead we get to see how the most annoying little man who ever existed pisses everyone off differently. We wouldn't get the pickup basketball games and see how Maka slowly learns how to play. We wouldn't get to see how the students and teachers interact with each other. We wouldn't get to see Spirit try and fail to be a good father. We wouldn't see his struggles. All of these things are what help make the show so amazing. I miss the beach episodes, the school trips, and learning fun random facts about the characters that only serve to make them more rounded.

[whereismymonsterlover]

This is so fucking brain rot dont give gen z media from the 70s they will ruin it

The Artillery Man from Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds (voiced by David Essex) would absolutely be a tumblr sexy man. It's the trauma and delusional himbo optimism, as well as Essex's lovely accent. Listen to the track Brave New World. More than the tumblr sexy man of it all, its also just a brilliantly lovely and human moment in the musical. Two men running from martians, who saw each others' supposed deaths, reunite in saftety and the narrator listens to the artillary man's grand ideas in quiet amusement and pity - and then they play games, an activity the narrator admits in the tone of someone who knows the ludicrousy of such a thing in their ongoing apocolypse.

[conquerthenight]

I’ve been thinking nonstop about the time someone on ao3 mentioned that Maxim took on some of Rebecca’s worst traits as a way to cope with (or that some of his own worst traits were exacerbated by) the abuse he endured by Rebecca’s hand. And that honestly makes so much sense.

None of this an excuse for how he behaves, but I think it could be an explanation.

I mean, think about it. We know he has quite the horrible temper. In the musical Beatrice states that he was “the same way as a child” meaning that his anger issues have always existed in some way. Of course that is most likely true, but take that and add in years of emotional abuse and it’s certainly a recipe for disaster. What used to be an ordinary bad temper became something border lining on volatile over the years. We see that in those moments Maxim snaps at his second wife. In the musical, during the first boathouse scene, Maxim rushes after his wife who had run offstage in terror, as if he was about to hit her before ultimately realizing what he was about to do and stopping himself in his tracks.

We know that Maxim can be quite cold and distant when he wants to be. At times he is also super patronizing and mocking. In the musical it’s a bit less so (but even that has the “you react like a child” line) but in the book he’s constantly talking down to his wife. Perhaps he does so because Rebecca did the same to him? Of course, Rebecca definitely didn’t compare him to a child as Maxim did to his second wife, but she could have mocked him with his insecurities (his obsession with holding up his family’s reputation, his intense desire to be seen as a strong figure and the toxic level of pressure he puts on himself as a result).

And of course, we can’t talk about Maxim or Rebecca’s worst traits without mentioning manipulation and the abuse of power dynamics. And what’s more is that both of them are fully aware that they are manipulating the situation. Rebecca sought to control Maxim by holding her affairs, Manderley’s standing, etc. over his head knowing full well he either wouldn’t or couldn’t (or a combination of the two) divorce her. See the lyric in “Kein Lächeln war je so Kalt”: “Divorce was taboo for the de Winter family. The family honor was worth more to me than my pride, and she relished in her triumph”.

Likewise, Maxim knows full well that his second wife came from basically nothing. He knows she’s financially dependent on him and that should their marriage fail in some way, she would have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. He even outright admits to her that he “did a selfish thing” marrying his second wife and that he “should have waited and let [his wife] marry a boy of [her] own age”. He knows that he has (and arguably still is) manipulating the dynamics in his own favor until the very moment he confesses to Rebecca’s murder and the power shifts from Maxim to his young wife.

Both Maxim and Rebecca know that they are absolute monsters. But it’s important to also note where they differ. While Rebecca revels in her absolute assholery and abusiveness, Maxim’s situation is the opposite. He hates himself for his own assholery and has basically condemned himself to a suffering of his own making.

Ironically, Mrs. Danvers said it best: “He’s made his own hell, and he has no one but himself to thank for it”. Was Mrs. Danvers just trying to get under the new Mrs. de Winter’s skin and hit her where it would hurt most? Yes. Was it said out of bitterness over Rebecca being replaced? Yes. But was she correct in her assumption? Also yes.

And of course, the key difference between Rebecca and Maxim is that all important shift in power. Rebecca held the power for almost the entirety of their relationship, and Maxim sought to take that power back through any means necessary resulting in Rebecca’s murder. When Maxim eventually confesses to said murder, it serves as an act of giving up that power he had claimed by killing Rebecca. He can no longer hold the weight of it because he knows he is damned and thus power transferred itself to his second wife. Where he was previously codependent on Rebecca, his second wife became codependent on him upon their marriage, and ultimately he became codependent on his wife upon his confession.

This is where the adaptation of Rebecca’s traits begins to fade. Maxim becomes basically a shell of himself, barely keeping it together through the rest of the story if not for the influence of his wife. He becomes as reliant on her as she had previously been reliant on him. This toxic cycle is only truly broken with the burning of Manderley. Only then are they equals. Only then do they begin to truly grow.

Rebecca, on the other hand, never got that chance. It was taken from her by the very man she had ill used. She knew that her “pregnancy” was a lie. She knew that her cancer diagnoses would damn her to a slow and painful death. Did that stop her from perpetuating the cycle of abuse? No. Instead she continued with it until her last breath, passing the torch to Maxim in the process.

Maxim certainly was no innocent. He perpetuated this toxic cycle as well. The only difference was that the person he passed it onto ended up not only breaking the cycle, but also gave him the opportunity to heal from it. He knows he isn’t worthy of it. We as the reader/viewer somewhat know that too. And yet the second Mrs. de Winter unknowingly grants him this post Manderley fire. Maxim has the opportunity to redeem himself where Rebecca did not.

Whether he takes the opportunity or ultimately succumbs to his inner demons (figuratively or literally) is completely up to the one consuming the story.

Personally my opinion is ever changing. While the optimistic part of me believes that he does work to better himself and ultimately succeeds in doing so, the realistic part of me wonders whether that’s the case. Of course, when I am of the realistic opinion I don’t think he reverts back to the traits he took on from Rebecca and those that were made worse during his relationship with Rebecca, but rather he wallows in a state of being that is just numb to it all. He is stagnant in his recovery because he believes, he knows, that he is beyond help. Things don’t get worse, but they certainly don’t get better either.

Ultimately Maxim de Winter is a character that foretells the tragedy of abuse and how the cycle of abuse can continue in ways that those trapped within it don’t comprehend until it’s too late. He is and isn’t a victim. He is and isn’t a perpetrator. We root for his relationship with his second wife on our most hopeful days and yet we don’t on our most cynical. He is an asshole. He is a dick. He isn’t exactly the best of men. And yet he is also broken. He is lonely. He is lost.

He finds what he is looking for in the end to an extent. A love that, while not exactly the healthiest, sets him on a path to becoming a better person. The relationship between Maxim and his second wife is in a way just like the drive leading to Manderley itself. Constant twisting and turning, plenty of bumps in the road, obstacles that temporarily prevent them from moving forward. And the beauty of it is that they do, in their own twisted way. They move on from the cycle of abuse they started in, however irreparably damaged and emotionally numb Maxim may be by the end.

“Love that liberates”. I’ve seen plenty of debate over whether that signature line from the musical is applicable to the story of Rebecca and the journey the de Winters take. My two cents is that it is, although the love itself isn’t what liberates the de Winters, Maxim in particular. Maxim may delude himself into believe that the love his second wife shows him despite his crimes is what liberates him, but while it certainly sets the foundation for their liberation from the cycle, in the end it is he who must crawl out of the hell he created for himself. No one can pull him out of it but himself.

[bergamotz]

if either I don't end up getting paid or if the gig I have coming up falls thru 4 some reason, that wld b bad. if both happen u can tune in2 the tv news 2 c me stone faced setting myself on fire in town square in what used 2 b a fenced off area w a monument 2 a guy who was #cancelled and is now a patch ov mulch while playing something maximally violent 2 the sensibilities ov the ppl who come here 2 shop at the boutiques that have sprung up in past 5 years. something by aesha erotica or msi or something as loud as I possibly have the means 2. while, again, staring straight ahead, emotionless, and setting myself on fire.

[hersterical]

How aware do you guys think Faith was of her own plan to provoke Angel into killing her in ‘Five by Five’? That was definitely her plan from at least the moment Wolfram and Hart hired her to kill Angel.

Within the context of the fight she had with Buffy in ‘Who Are You?’ I feel like even Faith would’ve taken some time to self-reflect just for a moment or two before going back to repressing.

I think that she was perfectly aware that that was the end goal of her plan the whole time but was very purposefully refusing to acknowledge it or put it into words even within her own mind. Her train of thought would go something like ‘I need to make Angel as angry as possible so that he doesn’t hold back when we fight’ and then stops her thoughts there because she knows what lies at the end of the path and if she continues to feign ignorance, then her death wouldn’t be her choice and not her fault.

It’s possible that her whole plan was totally subconscious, but that seems unlikely to me based on the end of ‘Who Are You?’ and some of her lines throughout ‘Five by Five’. It’s also possible that she was aware of her end goal from the beginning, but that just doesn’t sound like Faith to me.

I also love that it’s Angel who she chose to be the one to kill her. Besides the fact that he’s one of the few people in the world who would be capable of killing her when she goes all out (again taking the responsibility off of her), I love that she wants the guy who Buffy had tried to kill Faith over to be the one to do it. I love how she’s more upset about Buffy leaving the guy she stabbed Faith over and found a new boyfriend within a few months than the actual stabbing or anything else from their complicated history. Faith wants her death to be at the hands of someone else deemed unworthy by Buffy Summers. Someone else who is a monster but is still somehow better than her (why else would Buffy love him, even if it was just for a short time, when Buffy wouldn’t give Faith a second glance even before Faith screwed up?). Someone who is in many ways the same person as Faith and is still better than her even though he’s done worse things.

I wonder if Faith remembered a time when Angel tried to offer her compassion and understanding and if a part of her hoped that he would do the same thing again.

Faith already knew Buffy’s judgement of her, and that was before the whole kidnapping Buffy’s mom and stealing Buffy’s body and life thing. But Buffy is the ideal. How could perfect Buffy with the perfect life possibly understand? Angel though, Angel is just as much like Faith as he is like Buffy. He’s all honorable and good and he also knows what it’s like to be corrupted and to take a human life. Angel is her last chance. If he of all people thinks she deserves to die, then that’s what she deserves. Possibly even scarier than that is that if he thinks she deserves a second chance, then she might actually deserve a second chance.

Obviously these two aren’t the only people she seeks validation and guidance from, that’s one of her biggest things. Just look at her relationship with the Mayor. That’s why it’s so great in ‘Sanctuary’ when she makes the choice for herself to go to the police. I feel like every decision we’ve seen her make so far has either been something that someone else has told her to do, or because she’s felt like she’s had no other choice. She is definitely backed into a corner in ‘Sanctuary’ but she also has both Angel and Buffy fighting for her and the opportunity to skip town. The easiest way for her to avoid the responsibility of making a decision would just be to let whatever outcome of that fight to decide her future. The easiest way to avoid the consequences of her actions would be to run away. But Faith doesn’t do either of these things. She finally steps up and take on both the responsibility of choosing her own life path and the responsibility of owning up to her actions. Faith is the one who decides that she deserves to face punishment and the opportunity for redemption but that she doesn’t deserve to die. Faith made the decision that she deserved to live. “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.”

[cabbage-shack]

Ranpoe Wedding Idea

So I had this concept for Ranpoe’s wedding. 

I feel like they would go off on a normal case and one day they come back with matching rings. No one really notices except for Yosano. When the three of them are alone, she asks about the new jewelry and they tell her that they’re engaged. Poe would be generally happy/shy/giddy about it while Ranpo would be like “It was bound to happen, it’s no big deal” but also he’s really happy and proud. 

Yosano asks about what kind of wedding they were planning on. And they realize, they really never thought about the actual wedding bit. Without hesitation, Yosano brings out a big’ol book that has “Celebrations” on it. On the off chance anyone in the agency were to get married or have a life changing event in need of celebration, she and Kunikida set up a variety of potential plans for the occasion. From weddings to funerals, this book has it all.

Ranpo is A-ok with this as he doesn’t really want to go through the hassle of sitting down to plan a wedding. Poe is initially a bit overwhelmed by the concept, but is flattered by the thought being put into it. Still, he’s a bit hesitant saying that it could be alot and for Yauno to not worry about it too much. She insists it’s fine and the plans begin. 

Kunikida is in charge of the various bookings as well as the event schedule, Atsushi and Tanizaki are in charge of the guest list, Kenji and Kyouka are in charge of flower arrangements and decorations, Dasai and Yosano are in charge of food, and Ranpo and Poe can make any alterations as they see fit. 

Each agent had a little adventure with their tasks (Atsushi and Tanizaki getting into trouble trying to see if any of the guild members could come, Dasai not only thinking of poisoning the food but messing with Kunikida’s scheduling, as always, Kenji and Kyouka trying not to pick flowers that symbolize bad luck, lost love, death, or any bad omens in flower language, etc.), but ultimately had a lot of fun in the process.

Poe, a bit overwhelmed by it all, asked if he could be in charge of the outfits, specifically the ones he and Ranpoe would wear. Yosano had no objections and a little life seemed to return to Poe.

As everyone is running around trying to get this wedding together, coming up and asking Ranpo and Poe for inputs for themes, cakes, music, etc., It's becoming more and more noticeable to Ranpo that Poe is becoming uncomfortable, overwhelmed, and withdrawn. But Poe insists he’s alright and that he’s glad everyone’s having fun. 

Their wedding is to take place in the evening, a sunset wedding. The day of, Poe still seems off but is happy to give Ranpo his outfit. It’s so last minute because Poe kept making something, redoing it, redesigning something, adjusting something else, just wanting it to be perfect for his fiancé. He even made a little tie for Karl.

They get dressed in separate rooms, but they do meet one more time before they meet everyone who is waiting for them in another room.  When they see each other they are caught off guard by how beautiful the other looks. 

As Poe gazes at Ranpo, his nerves finally catch up to him. Ranpo asks if he’s ok and Poe finally relents and explains how all of this seemed a bit much and happened so quick and how he’s happy that everyone was supportive and kind and put in so much effort for their wedding, but he feels guilty for not wanting to go through with it, not that he doesn’t want to get married, it’s just..

At this point he has to prop himself up on the nearest desk to keep his legs from giving out.

Ranpo sighs, crosses his hands behind his head, and smiles. He walks past Poe saying “Did you know, all it takes to be married is to sign a few papers? Who even likes going to stuffy weddings.”

Poe looks at Ranpo. 

After a brief pause Ranpo continues, “I say we skip to the good part and find where they hid the cake.”

“But they did so much planning..”

“And they had fun planning. But it is our wedding…” Ranpo picks up Karl from nearby and puts him on Poe’s head with a soft smile. “And I say that makes us in charge!”

Poe slowly relaxes and begins to smile remembering how happy everyone was doing their tasks. 

With a deep breath, Poe agrees,“O-Ok.”

Yosano’s not even angry they didn’t show up to their own wedding, but it did tick off Kunikida. The rest of the agency was a bit concerned and went searching for the grooms. They later found the two eating the cake, slightly covered in it as they had smashed each other's face in the cake already.

--------------ALLL OF THIS TO SAY-----------------

I drew some Ranpoe based on this fic idea I have no energy to fully write.

[stoney-baloney-with-cheese]

Okay so this thought hit me out of nowhere but.

Isn't there something so painfully human about all the fairytales, myths, and legends that start with someone rescuing a baby?

Kaguya, Oedipus, Cú Chulainn, the list goes on across the entire planet.

And when you think about it, it makes sense, doesn't it? A baby is a tiny, helpless thing. We all know instinctually that a baby on its own doesn't have a sliver of a chance. None of the people in these stories needed to take the babies home, few of them get commanded to by a deity or have a vision of some kind, but they did.

Because how could you do anything else? Imagine you're a woodcutter or a farmer or a hunter or something, it doesn't really matter, but you are a person whose job is to go out into nature and do stuff. You go out on a perfectly normal day, doing your thing, and then in the distance, you hear a strange noise. A noise that you really shouldn't be hearing.

A baby crying.

"What the fuck is that?" You think to yourself, and consider just going back to what you were doing. After all, it could be a fae, a demon, or (if you live in mountain lion territory) a big angry cat. Maybe its parents are nearby and just can't calm it down.

But what if they aren't?

What if it is a baby? Alone? You can't just leave a helpless baby out here in the woods.

And that's not even mentioning characters like the messenger from Oedipus Rex, who was ordered by the Queen of his city to take a baby into the mountains and kill it. But how could he do that? He's just a baby. A tiny, fragile, innocent child.

How could he leave a baby to die?

Humans have been caring for children not their own the whole time. And there's something deeply moving to me about that.

[onewomancitadel]

It's funny because I am very willing to meet R/WBY's writing halfway because I do think that it has gravitas and presence... it takes itself very seriously most of the time, with a completely straight face, even when it's silly, so I am willing to respect that quite a lot. It's why I don't really like the lampshading or when it makes fun of itself to appease the very few.

I also think there are weird parts where sometimes it does the anime stuff and anime stuff is like... not about storytelling but about something else I don't understand (and it's not like anime itself necessarily resists narrative, there are plenty of narratively-serious anime) and don't really like.

If I can get the grips for the tone of the story and its general attitude, my taste varies very widely. I also think it's the only story that can truly get away with speeches like "I believe in you and you are very beautiful and can we hold hands?" (Jaune to Cinder in my head) because it's so so so serious about it and truly earnest and also Jaune would do that probably

[whoredmode]

everyone shut up i wanna hear kinzie’s reno story

[potato-frenzy]

I have a theory about dragonriders and they're connections to their dragons. I think dragons leave imprints of themselves and past riders into the minds of their riders. Accumulating memories over centuries. We get a lot of weight put on the bonds with dragons in HotD versus GoT but this can be handwaved off by Targaryens having their culture eroded by Andal religious indoctrination. But that's a different post.

What I want to talk about is the idea that dragons actually have an influence on their rider and can shape the rider as much as the rider shapes the dragon. For riders that have dragons born to them, they grow together and are in tandem throughout their lives. The incongruities begin when the dragon is older and has had multiple riders. I can't speak to the character of such riders as Daemon or Rhaenys because they've had so long to bond and mold to their dragons. We don't get the sense that they're holding onto anything from the past.

Except we do with Viserys. He was Balerion's last rider and only had him for about a year before the old man succumbed to wounds sustained whilst with his last rider. Wounds he never recovered from. Viserys was obsessed with Old Valyria, constantly pouring over the histories and building a model of the Free Hold. This struck me as extremely odd but could be written off as one of those weird hobbies dad's often have. Until I rewatched episodes 1 and 2 recently. He says that Balerion was the last living creature to see Old Valyria and I started spiralling. What if he's not just building this model because of a fascination, what if he's building the last thing Balerion was thinking about before he died? What if Viserys is still holding memories from Balerion?

It's far fetched but taking it into account and thinking about how Aemond was an angry but ultimately gentle child before bonding with Vhagar. How much pain and anger must Vhagar have been carrying from Visenya, from Baelon, from Laena. Visenya and Baelon were both known to lash out in rage but they were mature and better adjusted people than a parentified eight year old. And at sixteen, Aemond is wholly changed by his time with Vhagar. It's hard to say what exactly their relationship is like but I get this sense of pride and empowerment. I do think Aemond adores his old lady but he's ill equipped emotionally to respect her properly though since he has a very Hightower worldview.

I have thoughts on how healthy bonds are formed between dragon and rider and Arrax and Lucerys are good examples but I digress.

This theory taken into account and applied, memories from other riders could mean so many things but also hold so many implications as well. Like the fact that Rhaenys rides Alyssa's dragon and Viserys claims that Daemon was her favorite. Or that Daemon rides Aemon's dragon and swiftly fell for the rider of Baelon's dragon. I have theories on that relationship but that's yet another post.

[weyounmoefication]

also really love the idea of weyoun putting all his efforts into pushing damar to make the first move. like. all of his fucked up vorta brainworms kind of inherently prevent him from being the active 'pursuer;' he's got 8 layers of mental justification that, actually, it's strategically useful for him to be closer to damar, and that's the only reason why he'd bother with such trivial vulgar solid nonsense. but you know this mindset kind of hinges on damar, like. actually being interested in him. so he's just like desperately trying to get damar to project some kind of fantasy onto him but damar is so. down to earth. that when weyoun tries to actively appeal to him like this, it just turns him off more, which drives weyoun utterly insane

[t4t-apexeclipse]

janus has days where getting out of bed is too much. his cane and his yellow compression gloves aren’t always enough

for so long, the only two that really knew about the chronic pain were remus and virgil, and they did what they could to help

remus would lay on top of janus and talk about every little thing. virgil would diffuse essential oil and play some music, staying with him in silence

then it was just janus and remus

it should have been enough

for a very long time after finding a moment of peace with the core sides, janus refused to talk about his pain. he couldn’t reveal such a weakness, especially when things were still so rough between him and roman

then they found out. janus became more reclusive, hiding away in his room to avoid facing them

the first to reach out was patton. he gave janus a microwaveable stuffed dog scented with lavender, which did help with the stress, alleviating at least a bit of the pain

then logan gifted him a weighted blanket, which was more than heavenly

janus wasn’t sure why they were trying to help, as the situation still wasn’t ideal. he supposed that was just how they were

it took some time, but eventually, roman knocked on his door

he awkwardly offered to give janus a massage. janus was surprised by this, given their rather rocky relationship. he couldn’t help but ask why roman was being kind to him

“because i know how hard it is to deal with chronic pain”

[acacia-may]

What are your songs for Finral x Finesse (FinFin is their shipname, right)?

Hi anon! Thank you so much for this ask! I'm still getting to know all the ship names, but, yes, I think FinFin is the name for Finral x Finesse! I am so excited that you've asked me about them because their ship playlist is actually my favourite to listen to (linked here if you're interested. Though I will warn you it does contain some angsty songs and a few songs that are mainly (affectionate) jokes at Finral's expense).

My most listened to song on Spotify this year "Line Without a Hook" by Ricky Montgomery and mxmtoon is actually from my FinFin playlist, but since I already made a post about it and talked about two of my other favourite Finral x Finesse songs "Little Wanderer" by Death Cab for Cutie and "Candle on the Water" (one of my favourite Disney songs) in my post about them for the ship bingo game, I've decided to choose some other favourites for this ask!

"Oceans Between Us" by The Icarus Account

"Make You Mine" by PUBLIC

"Only Us" by Carrie Underwood and Dan + Shay (originally from the musical "Dear Evan Hansen" but I like this version a lot)

"I Wanna Make You Happy" by Victory

"The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles

"It Only Takes A Moment" by Kate Baldwin and Gavin Creel (from the musical "Hello Dolly")

"Maybe Don't" by Maisie Peters and JP Saxe

Bonuses:

A Bit Angsty: "Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash

A Bit Cheeky: "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors, "You're the One" by the Vogues, and "Honey, I'm Good" by Andy Grammer

The song "Oceans Between Us" by The Icarus Account could have been written for this ship. The lovely, overarching theme of this song is just so fitting for Finral and Finesse. Though the singer is traveling far away (with "miles and miles that [he's] yet to go" he hasn't forgotten his beloved who is waiting for him to return ("But tell me you love me and tell me again/ You wait for forever, you wait till the end"). If that isn't enough, there are also lines like "You're the only reason I come home/ My love" and a whole section of "You're the only one"s. It's an incredibly sweet song (for an incredibly sweet ship), and I think it really suits them. The ending, "You're mine forever and I'm yours/ Yours till the end" always brings a smile to my face.

The Icarus Account - Oceans Between Us (official audio) - YouTube

"Make You Mine" by PUBLIC was my fifth most listened to song of 2021 (probably because it was on my Finral x Finesse playlist). Every time the line "put your hand in mine" comes up I always think of Finesse grabbing his hand when he's dropping the letter out of the spatial portal in Episode 154 (one of my all-time favourite Black Clover episodes). While I don't see them hurting each other all that much and there are a few bittersweet moments in this song, I mainly disregard those and focus on the bits I think are very fitting to this ship given that "You know that I want to be with you all the time/ You know that I won't stop until I make you mine" is a pretty good way to summarize all of Finral's newfound motivation to become a man worthy of Finesse's love.

PUBLIC - Make You Mine (Official Lyric Video) - YouTube

"Only Us" was originally from the musical "Dear Evan Hansen," but I've linked the version by Carrie Underwood and Dan + Shay. I'm not sure where to even begin with this one since I'd really like to just copy and paste all of the lyrics into this post. The opening of the song just screams Finesse to me. She recognizes that Finral is insecure, but she loves him anyway and encourages him that he doesn't have to convince her that he is enough for her (i.e. "I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you/ I don't need you to search for the proof that I should/ You don't have to convince me/ You don't have to be scared you're not enough"). She knows that the past is painful, but she wants to move forward from that into something better, brighter, and happier together ("And what came before won't count anymore or matter").

Then the second verse just perfectly captures how I think Finral feels in this relationship. Finesse is his first love, but he never could have imagined that she would actually love him in return (i.e. "I never thought there'll be someone like you who would want me"). I think one of Finral's biggest motivations as a character is that he is starving for the unconditional love he didn't receive as a child, and when we meet him in the canon, we see that he is looking for it in all the wrong places (i.e. by practically throwing himself at every woman he sees). On a certain deep level, he really feels like he doesn't deserve to be loved, especially to be loved unconditionally, on the merits of just being Finral, but that doesn't stop him from wishing for it. I think the lines ""But if you really see me/ If you like me for me and nothing else/ Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know" really speak to that.

What's so beautiful about Finral and Finesse as a ship is that she does see him for who he is and loves him for that, and I think that this song really captures that (especially the lines "You and me/ That's all that we needed to be/ And the rest of the world falls away"). That "'Til you're the only one, I still know how to see" line is just an added bonus.

Carrie Underwood & Dan +Shay - Only Us (Lyrics) - YouTube

"I Wanna Make You Happy" by Victory is a little on the nose given Finral's vow to "be the one to make Lady Finesse happy." However, it's a cute song full of warm and fuzzies for a cute ship full of warm and fuzzies.

Victory Boyd - I Wanna Make You Happy (Official Lyric Video) - YouTube

"The Long and Winding Road" is a Beatles classic, and one of my favourite songs of all time. I think it fits the context of this ship extremely well because even though Finral has left Finesse to find his own way in the world, he is coming to realise that "the long and winding road" of his life's journey will eventually lead back to her. It's almost as if his heart has been with her all along, he just didn't know it.

"The long and winding road/ That leads to your door/ Will never disappear/ I've seen that road before/ It always leads me here/ Lead me to you door"

The Long And Winding Road (Remastered 2009) - YouTube

I know "It Only Takes a Moment" is a showtune (from the musical "Hello Dolly") so it's a little out of the box, but it was just too perfect to pass up. I mean, if anyone is going to believe that "It only takes a moment/ To be loved a whole life long," it's Finral. This kind of hopeless romanticism just fits him so well, and I imagine that if he was to tell the story of how he fell in love with Finesse if would very much be a love at first sight kind of thing (on his side. I think it was a slow burn thing on her side). She was his first love, and, yes, I might be teasing him a bit with this song choice but it's pretty undeniable that he really was taken with her from the first time he saw her. When I listen to this song, I like to think of Finral explaining to his squad that he loves Finesse and has since the very beginning. These lines: "It only takes a moment/ For your eyes to meet and then/ Your heart knows in a moment/ You will never be alone again" especially just feel so much like him and his attitude towards his relationship.

Not to mention the fact that the line "I held her for an instant/But my arms felt sure and strong" always makes me think of this:

It Only Takes a Moment - YouTube

"Maybe Don't" by Maisie Peters and JP Saxe was a big inspiration for my Finral x Finesse story, "I'll Be Waiting," (especially the lines "We should never speak again/ Because I like you/ And lately it's been only getting worse/ So we should never speak again/ Because I want to/ I've run through every outcome and in every one I'm hurt.") I think this song as a whole really captures Finral's conflicted feelings in trying to reconcile the fact that he loves Finesse with the fact that she is probably going to marry his brother (which, I think, he knows will leave him heartbroken if he doesn't emotionally distance himself). Meanwhile, Finesse cares about him and is trying to gently suggest that maybe he doesn't have to do that. (The gentleness and almost shyness of that "maybe don't" sentiment feels a lot like her to me). I especially love the line: "I should always be alone/ You said maybe don't" and think the line "'Cause I run from the things that I want the most/ You said I get that's what you do but, maybe don't" is particularly fitting for these two.

Maisie Peters - Maybe Don't [feat. JP Saxe] [Lyric Video] - YouTube

Bonuses:

If you want something angsty, there's the song "Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash (YouTube Link Here). I like to imagine Finral as the singer and Finesse as the "you", and I especially like the line: "I wish you'd never forget/ The look on my face when we first met" since it always brings up a mental image of this:

He looks like he’s been whacked on the back of the head, bless his heart. 😂🥺💕 I really think the opening lines of this song sum up how he feels about her too (even if he knows (or thinks he knows) that it’s nothing more than a pipedream to imagine they’d end up together):

"All I know is that you're so nice/ You're the nicest thing I've seen/ I wish that we could give it a go/ See if we could be something."

If you're feeling a bit cheeky and want something that's more about poking fun at the situation there's always "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors (YouTube Link Here). No offense to Langris intended. The song is nice enough to admit that they're both "princes who adore [her]," after all.

"Marry him, or marry me/ I'm the one that loves you, baby, can't you see?/ I ain't got no future or family tree/ But I know what a prince and lover ought to be"

Or if you'd rather the song poke fun at Finral (in the most good-natured and affectionate way, of course), there's "You're The One" by the Vogues (YouTube Link Here; Spotify link here since Tumblr won't let me embed more than 10 songs). Don't get me wrong, I love Finral and am rooting for him and Finesse, but he can be a little too insistent with his "I want you only, you must believe me"s for my taste, so this song is poking fun at that a little.

"Honey I'm Good" by Andy Grammer (YouTube Link Here) is also good for poking fun at Finral for the same reason. Plus, it has this great (and very catchy) refrain:

"So nah, nah, honey, I'm good/ I could have another, but I probably should not/ I've got somebody at home, and if I stay I might not leave alone/ No, honey, I'm good, I could have another, but I probably should not/ I've gotta bid you adieu, to another I will stay true"

(Warning: there's one bad word in this song)

Thank you so much again for the ask and for indulging me (and bearing with me to the end of what turned into a very long post)! Cheers!!