worrynoodle

[worrynoodle]

Scenes/Things in Supernatural that genuinely don't make sense to me if Dean was straight:

The confession booth scene.

Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.

Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.

All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)

Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.

Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.

The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.

Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.

Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."

The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.

Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.

The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.

Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.

The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.

Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.

A woman saying that she knows when someone's pining for someone else to Dean, just for us to learn that Dean was never in love with Amara.

[worrynoodle]

Summery of the fic im reading

Dean saves cas from the empty.

They make out.

CAS RUNS AWAY STEALIMG DEANS CAR AND REFUSES TO GO HOME

dean, over the phone: i slept with a dude

Cas: YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME?

Dean:.... it was a gay warm up...? Also were like not in a relationship????

[worrynoodle]

I'm fat and non binary and I never EVER see other fat non binary people as accepted as thin ones because it is much harder to achieve androgyny in larger bodies, especially when you have a big chest, broad hips, and a soft jawline.

That doesn't make me any less non binary.

I tied my size to my gender in an attempt to accept both at the same time and now due to health reasons I am losing weight and it's changing things and it hasn't been great for my dysphoria

but it doesn't make me any less non binary.

I am not out because it isn't safe for me to be in my current situation, I don't know how my family would respond

But it doesn't make me any less non binary.

Please take care of your body so it can take care of you. Feed it what it needs because no matter what you look like, you are the gender you know you are.

I have a research background in weight stigma and I currently work in mental health, often with LGBTQ+ clients.

I've met nonbinary people who struggle with disordered eating because they only ever see androgyny depicted as featureless thinness.

I've met trans women who struggle with disordered eating because they've internalized the idea that girls are meant to be thin, dainty, and delicate.

I've men trans men who struggle with disordered eating, because they feel women are allowed to be soft/curvy but men need to be muscular or thin and flat.

So many trans people are convinced that weight loss is the key to appearing as their desired gender, even when they want radically different gender presentations.

The societal idealization of thinness and fatphobia falsely invades and derails people's idea of what their "ideal body" should look like.

[worrynoodle]

Thank you for this.

So, I guess as a middle range millennial, I now get to tell all you young queer kids that what you are feeling right now is exactly how it felt in 2004 when we re-elected George Bush, and not only that but many states put in bans against gay/same sex marriage at the time.

This is probably not comforting, but it is true, and it helps me when I feel hopeless: For every revolution there is a counter revolution, for every step forward there is a step back, that things may not be good forever but they will not be bad, either. That we clawed our way to get where we are and we can claw our way forward from here, too. Talk to your queer elders, the ones who have been here before and will be here again and who threw bricks at Stonewall.

When I was a child, if you got AIDS it was a death sentence. Now it isn't. Now you live on.

So I'll quote angels in america: You are fabulous creatures, each and every one. And I bless you: More Life. The Great Work Begins.

[worrynoodle]

Allies. You also need to stand up. Please.

Politicians can never take your queerness away from you. Trump's inauguration speech may have directly spoken against queer identities, but that can't take away from who you are at your core. You know yourself, you know you're queer, and they can't take that away from you, even if they take everything else. Now isn't the time to despair and give in, it's the time to band together and protect each other. Your queer existence angers them. Continue to exist.

[worrynoodle]

Please stay. We need you. We need all of us.

reminder to trans, nonbinary, and any other non-cis people in the usa: there are people that love you and care about you. things are going to be okay, please don’t do anything drastic. i know things are scary right now but your lives are all worth so so much. don’t let him win. i love you

[worrynoodle]

@totally-not-a-dragon-in-disguise thanks!!

What's up with Dean's bedroom?

Since I posted this about Dean’s bedroom (and read everybody else’s comments), I’ve become a little bit obsessed with the subject. So I decided to do this: 

I present you Dean’s bedroom in 8x16:  

You can see the tall lamp to the left and no left nightstand. 

In that episode, Dean sat on the left side of the bed while praying to Castiel. It’s the only time we’ve seen him favor that side of the bed. 

We see Dean’s bedroom again in 9x04 with very little changes. 

Still no left nightstand. And the tall lamp is still there, as you can see here:

Then, something must have happened between 9x04 and 9x14 because, suddently, Dean decided that he needed a left nightstand (and he also decided that he could easily lie on just one side of the bed and leave the rest unoccupied).

I’m not going to remind you all that the fanfiction gap happened in 9x06, that Dean looked wistful (as described by the Supernatural Wiki) when he said “always the adios” in 9x08, or that he was ready to come clean to Sam at the end of that episode, but fake!Ezekiel didn’t let him. I’m not even going to bring to attention that according to the dictionary ‘wistful’ means: “Having or showing a feeling of vague or regretful longing”. 

I’m a good person, so I’m not going to mention any of that. *pure sarcasm*

I have a very shippy theory, though. Some time after 9x06 and before 9x09, Dean put the extra nightstand, hoping against hope, that someone (a certain angel that was human at the time), was going to use it one day. 

However, Castiel became an angel again in 9x09. At the end of that episode Kevin died (no, God, no!), and in 9x10 Cas got to the Bunker as soon as Dean called. There was very little time frame between Dean finding out that Cas was an angel again (in 9x09) and everything that happened afterward. In episode 9x10, they took care of Gadreel’s possession of Sam, and at the end of the episode, Dean left Sam and Cas. In 9x11, Dean was not in the Bunker (he spent the episode with Crowley). Neither was he there in 9x12 (the Garth episode). Dean was back home in 9x13, but the tension between the brothers was obvious and they pretty much spent all their time focused on the new case. At the very beginning of 9x14, we saw Dean’s bedroom with the two nightstands. Due to everything that happened, I don’t think Dean had time to be disappointed enough to rearrange the furtniture in his bedroom.

However, sometime between 9x14 and 9x23, his bedroom went back to normal.

No left nightstand and the tall lamp was there again.

 But at least the bed was still Dean’s

 In season 10, we could see Dean’s bedroom the same way it was at the end of season 9. His bed was still the same in 10x03:

No left nightstand

And the tall lamp there (notice Dean cleaning up the side of the bed he kind of associates with Cas when Cas is in the room). 

And that’s how we end up in 10x10, with a very strange bed, but the same decoration Dean’s had since season 8:

The only episode in which Dean had an extra nightstand was 9x14 and it was NOT an accident. 

The episode aired on February 25, 2014 and was directed by Jerry Wanek (x)

And it was Jerry Wanek himself who said that it was deliberate (x)

So, yeah… I really think I’m obsessed with Dean’s bedroom, but I’m not even sorry about it. There’s a silent story being told that I’m enjoying a lot. 

[worrynoodle]

I need a few things explained as a newbie, please:

1. What is the 'fanfiction gap' (that sounds exciting whats that about)

2. I think I understand 'why lamp' that is the fact that the lamp is a stand-in for Cas right? Which is why he dances with it. But how did that come about and is that what this is saying? That the tall lamp = cas?

3. Is this saying that cas DID stay with Dean or just that Dean just wanted that?

Overall if someone could point me to some corresponding metas I'd be so grateful because I love this stuff

Edit: confirmation cas sleeps on the left

What's up with Dean's bedroom?

Since I posted this about Dean’s bedroom (and read everybody else’s comments), I’ve become a little bit obsessed with the subject. So I decided to do this: 

I present you Dean’s bedroom in 8x16:  

You can see the tall lamp to the left and no left nightstand. 

In that episode, Dean sat on the left side of the bed while praying to Castiel. It’s the only time we’ve seen him favor that side of the bed. 

We see Dean’s bedroom again in 9x04 with very little changes. 

Still no left nightstand. And the tall lamp is still there, as you can see here:

Then, something must have happened between 9x04 and 9x14 because, suddently, Dean decided that he needed a left nightstand (and he also decided that he could easily lie on just one side of the bed and leave the rest unoccupied).

I’m not going to remind you all that the fanfiction gap happened in 9x06, that Dean looked wistful (as described by the Supernatural Wiki) when he said “always the adios” in 9x08, or that he was ready to come clean to Sam at the end of that episode, but fake!Ezekiel didn’t let him. I’m not even going to bring to attention that according to the dictionary ‘wistful’ means: “Having or showing a feeling of vague or regretful longing”. 

I’m a good person, so I’m not going to mention any of that. *pure sarcasm*

I have a very shippy theory, though. Some time after 9x06 and before 9x09, Dean put the extra nightstand, hoping against hope, that someone (a certain angel that was human at the time), was going to use it one day. 

However, Castiel became an angel again in 9x09. At the end of that episode Kevin died (no, God, no!), and in 9x10 Cas got to the Bunker as soon as Dean called. There was very little time frame between Dean finding out that Cas was an angel again (in 9x09) and everything that happened afterward. In episode 9x10, they took care of Gadreel’s possession of Sam, and at the end of the episode, Dean left Sam and Cas. In 9x11, Dean was not in the Bunker (he spent the episode with Crowley). Neither was he there in 9x12 (the Garth episode). Dean was back home in 9x13, but the tension between the brothers was obvious and they pretty much spent all their time focused on the new case. At the very beginning of 9x14, we saw Dean’s bedroom with the two nightstands. Due to everything that happened, I don’t think Dean had time to be disappointed enough to rearrange the furtniture in his bedroom.

However, sometime between 9x14 and 9x23, his bedroom went back to normal.

No left nightstand and the tall lamp was there again.

 But at least the bed was still Dean’s

 In season 10, we could see Dean’s bedroom the same way it was at the end of season 9. His bed was still the same in 10x03:

No left nightstand

And the tall lamp there (notice Dean cleaning up the side of the bed he kind of associates with Cas when Cas is in the room). 

And that’s how we end up in 10x10, with a very strange bed, but the same decoration Dean’s had since season 8:

The only episode in which Dean had an extra nightstand was 9x14 and it was NOT an accident. 

The episode aired on February 25, 2014 and was directed by Jerry Wanek (x)

And it was Jerry Wanek himself who said that it was deliberate (x)

So, yeah… I really think I’m obsessed with Dean’s bedroom, but I’m not even sorry about it. There’s a silent story being told that I’m enjoying a lot. 

[worrynoodle]

my 10 holy grail pieces of writing advice for beginners

from an indie author who's published 4 books and written 20+, as well as 400k in fanfiction (who is also a professional beta reader who encounters the same issues in my clients' books over and over)

show don't tell is every bit as important as they say it is, no matter how sick you are of hearing about it. "the floor shifted beneath her feet" hits harder than "she felt sick with shock."

no head hopping. if you want to change pov mid scene, put a scene break. you can change it multiple times in the same scene! just put a break so your readers know you've changed pov.

if you have to infodump, do it through dialogue instead of exposition. your reader will feel like they're learning alongside the character, and it will flow naturally into your story.

never open your book with an exposition dump. instead, your opening scene should drop into the heart of the action with little to no context. raise questions to the reader and sprinkle in the answers bit by bit. let your reader discover the context slowly instead of holding their hand from the start. trust your reader; donn't overexplain the details. this is how you create a perfect hook.

every chapter should end on a cliffhanger. doesn't have to be major, can be as simple as ending a chapter mid conversation and picking it up immediately on the next one. tease your reader and make them need to turn the page.

every scene should subvert the character's expectations, as big as a plot twist or as small as a conversation having a surprising outcome. scenes that meet the character's expectations, such as a boring supply run, should be summarized.

arrive late and leave early to every scene. if you're character's at a party, open with them mid conversation instead of describing how they got dressed, left their house, arrived at the party, (because those things don't subvert their expectations). and when you're done with the reason for the scene is there, i.e. an important conversation, end it. once you've shown what you needed to show, get out, instead of describing your character commuting home (because it doesn't subvert expectations!)

epithets are the devil. "the blond man smiled--" you've lost me. use their name. use it often. don't be afraid of it. the reader won't get tired of it. it will serve you far better than epithets, especially if you have two people of the same pronouns interacting.

your character should always be working towards a goal, internal or external (i.e learning to love themself/killing the villain.) try to establish that goal as soon as possible in the reader's mind. the goal can change, the goal can evolve. as long as the reader knows the character isn't floating aimlessly through the world around them with no agency and no desire. that gets boring fast.

plan scenes that you know you'll have fun writing, instead of scenes that might seem cool in your head but you know you'll loathe every second of. besides the fact that your top priority in writing should be writing for only yourself and having fun, if you're just dragging through a scene you really hate, the scene will suffer for it, and readers can tell. the scenes i get the most praise on are always the scenes i had the most fun writing. an ideal outline shouldn't have parts that make you groan to look at. you'll thank yourself later.

happy writing :)

[worrynoodle]

I'm reading Everyone's a critic by Englandwouldfall

Goddamn the drama, I am at the edge of my seat every single time I'm reading it. I've never experienced this level of fury at a character (dean) lovingly and wanted to shake him up so bad.

[worrynoodle]

I believe today is a dark day in history. Looking back at the progression of the last 9 years and how we've gotten to where we are, how all the little (big) things added up week-to-week, day-to-day, does not give me much hope or optimism for the next four years (at least).

We are living in a dangerous time. It feels like our collective humanity is held together by a rubber band ready to snap. Or, more like when you put a whole bag of rubber bands on a watermelon. And while one side is saying 'we have to get rid of these rubber bands before the watermelon cracks' the other side is saying 'rubber bands don't exist' or 'this rubber band is actually a good thing' or 'well, why didn't you care about that rubber band before' etc etc. Meanwhile, the watermelon is still being crushed.

We have experts, people who have dedicated their lives to study of things like climate, but more to the point, fascism, who are warning us and warning us. And it seems that for the people who are listening, there's nothing we can do and for the people who don't see it, they are barreling us in that path anyway.

These are dark times. Or, maybe, they're the calm before the storm. I see how much more anger and resentment, fear and abuse there is in people who voted for this president now and it is worrisome.

But I have to hope. I HAVE to hang on to hope that this will one day be behind us. That somehow we can still turn around on this trajectory we are on. That somehow these people will see the error of their ways. And if not that, that maybe someday, when all of this is behind us, people will be able to reflect genuinely and say "yeah, I fucked up when I made that choice." I have to believe that humanity is better than this because we ARE.

We are better than this, as a whole. I believe most of us will help our neighbors. I believe most of us will see someone in pain and do the right thing. I believe, on an individual scale, that people are good. That the bad doesn't outweigh the good in people.

My parents voted for this guy. But they would also give up what little extra money they have to feed someone who is hungry. They'd pull out the air mattress for a friend in need. And I think a lot of people who voted the same way would do these things on a personal level. But I also believe they are victims of decades of propaganda that tells them that on a national scale, helping someone immigrating to the US isn't the same as helping a neighbor in need (as one example).

Right now, most social media are propaganda machines. Twitter, meta, and now maybe tik tok, are run by one side of the equation and that is frightening. We are in for some very interesting times indeed. And we need to stay vigilant. And stay loud.

Keep talking about it. Keep showing up. Be proud of your sexual orientation, be proud about your gender, be proud about who you are. Keep uplifting marginalized voices and don't let them be squandered. Keep calling out the horrors of the world.

Keep yourself safe. You are something precious and necessary to the human race. In the face of all of this hate, you are love.

My hope is that this is the beast lashing out with it's last breaths. That they're scared, and snapping their jaws like a wounded animal because it's hurt and dying. That the animal that is the republican party is dying and someday we are going to look back at this with grief and mourning, but we will be on the other side of it. That our families will stand up and apologize for furthering the pain. For not knowing better, and not trying to know better.

Humanity has always had it's highs and lows, I think. And we may be entering a new era in the history books of lows. But we have to push through. We have to be kind.

We HAVE to be kind and good and set an example of how things should be. We have to be stronger than the hate that threatens to overtake us.

I've been reaching out to people. Trying to find community to stick to. Please do that. Don't drown yourself in arguing with people who can not hear you and find people who will listen. Protect your joy, protect your peace and maybe if we all do that it will grow.

Be kind to yourselves today. Treat it like a sick day if you can. Have a cup of tea, get some sun, drink water, make a nice meal. You are worth it. Please keep going. We can get through this one day at a time.

🍪🍪🍪

Here is a sugar free chocolate chip cookie recipe

Here is a regular chocolate chip cookie recipe

Here is a vegan chocolate chip cookie recipe

🍪🍪🍪

[worrynoodle]

I love a confession. But the idea that both of them push the limits of their relationship so slowly, so gradually, that they're full on married couple in absolutely everything but name is hilarious to me. That they keep getting closer, more intimate and more couple-y without ever outright communicating. That'd be the way to go of 5x18 didn't happen

Like that reddit story of the guys who played "gay chicken" and ended up married with a kid but make it destiel... which... hey it kind of is already like that

[worrynoodle]

I really hope TikTok refugees don't make tumblr as toxic as tik tok was. I got on here to get away from that.

There's a long established culture here that is different from other apps and I don't wanna lose that.

[worrynoodle]

Dean, covered in blood and beaten within an inch of his life: what's the matter, buddy, y'need a hug?

Me (who had to make my own doctors appointment), tearing up: yeah I could really use one thanks.

I really wish I could go into my TV shows and hug my favorite characters when they're having a hard time, but most of them are stubborn assholes so I doubt they would let me.

[worrynoodle]

I want this but also the opposite

I want my favorite characters to pop up and give me a hug when I'm having a hard time

I really wish I could go into my TV shows and hug my favorite characters when they're having a hard time, but most of them are stubborn assholes so I doubt they would let me.

[worrynoodle]

Destiel Fic Recs

I've been fortunate enough to read some really good fics lately, and it feels like an embarrassment of riches, so I'm going to share.

AUs:

Are You Writing From the Heart? by luckshiptoshore - E, 86k

virga(e) by shineforthee - E, 71k

The Angel in the Marble by zuzeca - E, 20k

If Only Maybe and Then by stonelions - E, 100k WIP

And Watch What Happens by Hth - E, 85k

The Breath Of All Things by KismetJeska - T, 65k

Foxfire by kilvmaim - E, 67k

The Leap by FriendofCarlotta - E, 82k

Canonverse:

american oracle by handsliketruth, whiskeyjuniper - E, 80k

It's all very complex by artichokeflower - E, 20k

of the unlocking and the lift away by unicornpoe - T, 43k WIP

they're playing dido in the hospital gift shop by spocklee - E, 16k

An Abundance of Light by CatiDono - T, 12k WIP

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople - M, 13k

I tried to type out little descriptions for each, but the task really defeated me, so please click through to see each fic's actual summary. There's a wide variety here in terms of subject matter, rating, and the date they were written, so maybe there's something for everyone.

[worrynoodle]

You are beautiful and deserve your space in the world.

Reblog to give a trans woman a warm cup of soup