#this part really reminded of that scene from Beef

[bloodyhellharry]

I've been reading A Wizard of Earthsea and I could not get past the bit where Ged tries to save a dying child by going to realms of death without sketching it.

[moments-on-film]

Moments on Film: Carmy’s Vital Signs

One of the most fascinating things about The Bear is the full body acting from Jeremy Allen White. As with any performance, as an actor he makes many intentional choices, but there are several that I have noticed that are so in the moment and realistic, his body experiences them as his character. His actual vital signs—body temperature, pulse rate, breathing rate, blood pressure—are all a part of his character and are often visible onscreen, making it very hard to differentiate between the performer and the performance. He is so immersed in the character, you can’t help but worry about him and his health, both as a character and as an actor, to the point where his acting often feels dangerous. He surrenders himself and his body so fully, it is absolutely mesmerizing to watch. Below are several examples from season 1 and season 2.

Season 1:

Carmy and Sydney Meet

The scene where Carmy meets Sydney for the first time immediately struck me. Because of their undeniable chemistry, you very quickly get the sense that they just “get” each other. Sydney glides in and literally gives Carmy the breath of life he’s been missing. She wakes him up and reminds him who he is as much as who he could be. Carmy’s eyes show us everything in this scene and all that he’s been through leading up to this moment. It’s all there. The deep, deep sadness, grief, the exhaustion, how traumatized he is, beaten down, burnt out, sleep deprived, and desperately in need of help. He looks sick. When Sydney says, “I know who you are”, his face cocks to the side and his eyes lock into hers. He looks hypnotised by her. He says “oh yeah?”, but his eyes say, “No, I’ve forgotten. I’m exhausted and beaten down. Please help me remember. Let me be what you see.” And she does. Watch the scene again and listen to his breathy exhalation when she says “you’re the most excellent CDC…”It’s as if by being seen and understood by Sydney, the spell is broken and he can finally, actually breathe again. The relief of this moment, due to her belief in him and how she’s sees him is the first time we ever see him smile.

The Phone Call

This scene really made an impression the first time I saw it and it continues to. Carmy picks up the ringing phone and it’s a call from someone he doesn’t know named Nico. This person asks if Michael is around and in this moment Carmy goes through so many emotions. He is so caught off guard to be asked about Michael that he literally says, “Uh, uh, no. No, no. He’s not here this second.” If you watch closely, when he hears Michael’s name his pulse instantly elevates to the point where you can see the vein on the left side of his neck throbbing. As the scene goes on he starts to tense up and becomes weak and eventually has a panic attack that leaves him with a pounding heartbeat, so severe he has to sit down and then get out of there, as fast as possible. It’s an incredible moment of physical acting where the actors’s body is truly serving as a vessel for the character.

Fights with Richie

In this scene, Carmy is fighting with Richie over the C health code rating The Beef just received. Carmy believes it’s Richie’s fault since he left cigarettes by the burners, when in reality, it was Carmy’s fault. Carmy and Richie scream at each other and it gets physical. He’s so angry in this moment, his face slowly becomes completely flushed red, and his forehead stays pale. His pulse slams against his neck veins. I don’t know how many takes this scene took, but to achieve this level of body acting, even once, is incredible. The actor’s body doesn’t know that they are acting, it responds as if it’s a real moment they are experiencing.

In the scene above, Carmy and Richie are again fighting. This time, because Richie admits to selling drugs out of the back alley of The Beef and Carmy finds out. Is this what Carmy’s dad used to do at The Beef? Uncle Jimmy mentioned they last fought about drugs, among other things. The idea of selling drugs is so triggering for Carmy, it made me think there is a backstory here that has to do with his family. Carmy also finds out it was Michael’s idea to sell the drugs. This revelation both devastates and infuriates Carmy with such equal measure that he simultaneously looks like his going to burst into tears and completely explode. Look at the tears in his eyes. Look at the gripping tension he’s holding in his neck. You can just feel his heart rate rising as the scene progresses. It’s another incredible moment where this actor is literally giving his full body to service the story.

Sydney Quits

One of the worst moments in the series for Carmy is when Sydney quits. She’s calm, but she gets in his face with her final words. Given Carmy’s severe abandonment issues, and how much he needs Sydney and wants her there with him, this moment clearly devastated him. He practically doubles over. When Sydney walks out, so does his ability to breathe. He is struggling for air. His face, which normally becomes flushed and red in moments of extreme duress does something different here. He’s in such agony, his face completely drains of all color. He turns white as a sheet. This response, to me, signaled a different type of deep, deep emotional pain. How the actor was able to control his body to exhibit these internal emotions externally is remarkable.

Al-Anon Share

In acting, a performer always has to be thinking about their moment before—what were they just doing, what moment did they just come from, and how is that impacting them in this particular moment? When Carmen attends Al-Anon in the season 1 finale, he is coming from all the events that took place previously, including a traumatizing nightmare, which he awakens from violently and painfully. He’s regretting everything he did the day before, he’s hearing his brother’s voice, and he hasn’t slept well or rested, maybe in months, or years for that matter. Physically in this scene, it makes sense for him to look dishsheveled. He goes a step further though. In this scene, and often in the series, he literally looks like he’s running a fever. Once Carmy starts opening up, we see sides of him we have never seen before. One striking moment is when he’s sharing that Michael used to tell him “let it rip.” When he shares this, he almost seems a little embarrassed. In this moment of raw and open vulnerability, he blushes, and his face flushes, slowly. He then smiles, so sweetly. The fact that his character feels embarrassment and his actual face will flush, on command, as a performer, will never fail to astonish me. You can’t plan for your body to have that reaction. You can’t fake it either. He is living in all of Carmy’s moments with his own flesh and blood.

Sydney Comes Back

In the season finale, Carmy discovers the money his brother has left for him to pursue their shared dream of opening a restaurant together, The Bear. While Carmy and the team are opening the cans where Michael left the hidden money, Sydney appears. She again glides in and reminds him who he is and who he can be. But this time it’s different, this time she reminds him who she is too. Carmy then envisions what they could do—what they could be—together. Carmy has missed her so much, he regrets their last minutes together, but in this moment, all that fades away. He breathes, easily and deeply at the sight of her. Every cell in his body bends towards her. Carmy’s eyes invite her in to build the restaurant with him as much as his words do. His pupils actually dilate when he first sees her and looks into her eyes. Again, these are not physical acting choices that you can just plan or manipulate. Your body has to be going through these emotions for them to present themselves in the way that they do.

————————————————————————

Season 2

Season 2 of The Bear is different. To me, they have messed with the actor’s face in a way that has taken away a huge part of what makes him uniquely compelling. He lives in the moment, he acts with his whole being. He lets his eyes, body, and skin all tell the story. What they’ve done to his face this season is very noticeable to me. Carmy, as a character is stressed, exhausted and haggard. He doesn’t take care of himself and he’s not vain. It’s a huge disconnect to see him looking flawless in certain scenes, with no color showing through anywhere on his face, like he just had a facial. It doesn’t make sense for the character and it limits him and what he brings as an actor. His skin often looks like glass this season, and whatever fancy stuff they did to him took away his ability to have his emotions show through his skin at the level they did last season, which is a huge reason why the performance felt so visceral and real. They saw his emotive skin flushing and imperfections as a liability, when in fact, they are an incredible asset. He doesn’t look like anyone else, and it’s real and refreshing to see onscreen. I wish they didn’t take that away from him.

Despite what they did, he is such a good actor, he pushes through and can still physically convey the heart of what Carmy is feeling in each moment. Below are several moments that made a huge impression.

Scene with Claire

The first time I watched this scene I had to pause and watch again. Why does it feel so awkward? Among other things, it’s because Carmy is not breathing properly. Watch it again but this time only listen to his breathing. He is so distressed, talking about the fire suppression he can barely get enough air. You would think Claire’s presence would calm him down but she doesn’t. He can’t accept the moment. At times, he is subtly gulping air and his voice is shaky in a way that the scene doesn’t necessarily warrant. This was a huge indicator to me that something is wrong. It feels very off. He is so ill at ease and tense. Speaking of moments before, Carmy later reveals in this episode that the previous night he had a “gnarly panic attack.” So in this scene, he presumably had a very rough night and did not sleep well. He’s very worried about the test, waiting for the other shoe, and is self conscious about if what he’s saying is boring to Claire. All of these anxieties impact him and he’s having a lot of trouble stilling himself and calming down. We now know that Claire is not Carmy’s calm, or his peace, or his safe place—that’s Sydney. We don’t fully know that until the next episode. It’s as if the actor internalized that truth and is giving us a clue to it now. This is subtle, expert character work and an extremely difficult physical action to fake as an actor. He would have to be so keyed into the subconscious emotions of the character to let these nervous ticks run through his body. I’m telling you, watch the scene again and only listen to how much trouble he has breathing in certain moments. It’s not normal how tense he is here and an incredible foreshadowing into what we later learn he needs that actually soothes him and calms him down—Sydney.

Panic Attack in the Alley

In episode 9, cracks come to the surface, what’s done (literally) in the dark comes to the light, and Carmy is forced to physically deal with what he’s been suppressing emotionally. He experiences the worst panic attack we have ever seen him go through. He’s gotten so much worse and because of the incredible full body acting in this moment, it’s painful to watch. The conversation about this scene, rightly so, focuses on how Carmy thinks of Sydney to bring down his panic and breathe, but let’s talk about the physical acting for a minute. He’s shaking uncontrollably, every muscle is tightly wound and coiled. He can’t feel his hands. He can’t breathe. His skin is red and burning up with tension. He looks like a freight train is running through his body. His face contorts like he’s swallowing bile and is about to vomit. His acting is so real it is distressing to watch. Because he puts his body through so much, we are right there with him in every moment. We can truly feel what he’s feeling. He looks like he’s in real pain.

Eventually in this moment, Carmy focuses on Sydney—the first time he saw her face and when she came back to him, affirming words she’s told him about who he is and how she sees him. He’s kneeling at this point and is finally able to suspend his suffering, lower his panic, calm himself down and breathe. The flush on his face starts to lessen. The fever breaks and starts to come down as he focuses on Sydney and only Sydney. This is all conveyed without a single word from the actor. A montage shows us what he’s thinking, but the emotional stakes of this scene rely entirely on the actor’s ability to use his body to let us in so we can feel what he’s experiencing, and he delivers.

Carmy and Sydney Under the Table

The scene under the table is so tender and beautiful it brought me to tears. It’s a moment of truth, reckoning, concern, care, and yes, love, between the two of them. Carmy creates an environment that is gentle and safe, and Sydney softens and blossoms in a way that we have not seen before. There are moments that are so intimate, still and low it’s as if they are speaking to each other softly while laid out across each other’s chests. Sydney shares her fears and Carmy essentially tells her, “it’s ok. I’m here. We’re in this together. You’re safe with me and I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Physically, in this moment, Carmy is so attentive, and so at peace with Sydney that time literally stands still. They are in their own dimension. We are so used to seeing Carmy in motion, thrashing around and stressed, that this scene and the way that it’s acted feels like a deliverance. He creates a sanctuary for Sydney to feel safe. The physicality and voice of the actor creates this moment. They are 25 minutes to open, and his eyes are gentle, his voice is as soft as it’s ever been, he’s breathing steady and easy. He’s gently moving his hand but not out of frantic energy. He can’t soothe her with touch so he soothes her with words. This scene is a revelation in how the actor shows us Sydney’s impact on Carmy. In her presence, his entire nervous system is completely and finally relaxed and at ease.

——————————————————————-

All of what this actor gives and does as a performer engenders so much empathy for the character that his feelings become ours. We exhale when he does, and it actually hurts to watch him suffer. We worry about him, and his health, and care about his feelings. I think that’s why people have connected with this show so much. The rest of the cast is fantastic, but if we do not feel for Carmy and care about him as a character, the show does not work. He knows this, puts his body on the line, and gives it his all. He deserves the awards he had received for this role and I hope we get to see him continue this character in a season 3 and beyond.

Pay. The. Actors.

©️moments-on-film 2023

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#17: The Danger (1.02)

gif cred: @chaoticroad

In the final scenes of episode 2, we're given a glimpse of the various things that will complicate Rick and Michonn'es journey home. Richonne will have a lot of threats pointed their way, and yet it's clear who the danger will really be. Because among these concluding scenes, Ms. Dana really climbs up a platform and looks out at the CRM base like - if you ever find me and my husband in a fight with the most powerful military on the planet...help the military 💅🏽😌...

So that lovely scene between the vehicles ends with Rick and Michonne exiting separately as Rick walks out first and then Michonne. I’m sure having to part right now is no easy task for these magnets.

When Rick walked out and put on his helmet I was like Rick, remember to take a little bit of that pep out of your step lol. Cuz he’s supposed to just be scowly downtrodden Sergeant Major Grimes to the CRM, but you know he was feeling like a new man after his wife gave him life and a fresh dose of strength in that garage.

Michonne watches Rick go, likely enjoying that walk, and then she closes the door and has a subtle expression of determination on her face as she walks off. And Michonne's energy just feels like she's ready to go toe to toe with the CRM for everything they've done to her husband, her friends, and herself.

They show a video playing from Michonne’s interview as she looks right into the camera.

gif cred: @nerd4music

We just see the shoulder of a CRM member watching the video, and you already know that means trifling garbage lady Jadis has entered the chat to complicate things as she always does. 😒

And y'all, I don't care how many years it's been since I last saw that serpent on my screen, I still loathe Jadis with a passion...

Then Michonne is again walking around the CRM and A-ing it up just with her looks and walk alone.

The way Michonne is moving and observing, she looks like she should be the one the CRM answers to not Beale lol. Like she truly exudes leader vibes. (Side note: I saw people saying if Okafor had met Michonne he’d be trying to convince Michonne, the A above all As, to be his right hand in his plan and I agree 😁) 

Intercut between this is Jadis 'No Boundaries' Stokes entering Rick’s apartment and pouring herself a drink which...she tried it.

And then we cut back to Michonne and she's climbing up on a platform to get a good scope of the place.

Seeing Michonne climb on top of that thing I was like...

Cuz aren’t we supposed to be lying low and yet you’re now climbing up on that platform, skin all radiant and glowing and very likely to attract attention cuz like why is a new consignee just doing her own thing up here??? 😅

Listen, I support it cuz I will always support Michonne but I just knew she was about to have Rick stressed. One thing about Michonne is she gon' be an A. It just is what it is. 👌🏽😇

gif cred: @nerd4music

And she really does look stunning standing up on that post as she gets a better view of exactly what she’s dealing with. Michonne takes it all in with a look of fierce determination on her face, knowing that the CRM should be scared cuz they have hurt one too many people, especially people she cares about dearly, and now they gotta answer for it.

It was smart storytelling to give Michonne personal reasons to be beefing with the CRM on top of her issues with them for what they've done to Rick.

And I love how this scene is a reminder that part of what makes Richonne's love story so distinct is that Rick and Michonne really are lethal lovebirds. So Michonne Grimes is a devoted wife and a determined mother, and she's also real deadly when she wants to be. And the CRM is bound to learn that soon enough.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

Then I love the shot of her holding Nat's 'Danger' lighter. 👏🏽 And with that running theme of fire, the lighter is very fitting because again sometimes things have to burn and Michonne is not afraid to be the one to burn it down. She’s the danger.

And, I think this further confirms that Michonne and Danger were meant to have parallels as step-parents too. Also, it's just great that she has Nat’s lighter cuz it lets us know she’s going to ensure Nat fully gets his lick back against the CRM.

gif cred: @nerd4music

So after the great shot of Michonne looking like a Queen and then closing the lighter we cut to the Queen of Trash. 🙄 (Side note: while I loathe Jadis I think Pollyanna is a talented actress who has a good presence on screen. Just thought I'd clarify that because from here on out I'm whacking Jadis unabashedly👌🏽) 

Rick returns to his apartment and stops in his tracks when he sees Jadis is inside and has made herself comfortable. I hate how even Rick’s apartment doesn’t get to be a safe space for him because people just barge in at any time. 😑

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Jadis says hi and apologizes for breaking in and then says she’s here cuz this is an investigation but one that she wants to keep off the books. She tells him, “Let’s continue to keep certain things between you and me as we have.” 

And then because I think Jadis might combust if she doesn’t try someone every two seconds she shows she still enjoys making Rick uncomfortable by coming on to him when she says, “It’s been awhile. You look good.” And while Jadis is very correct about that it’s still trifling as hell and Rick is so over it as he responds by looking away and rolling his eyes.

I love how Rick genuinely only responds well to flirtatiousness and acknowledgment of his looks from Michonne and Michonne alone. I once saw someone say Rick is a michonnesexual and y'all...

So then Jadis marvels at how truly amazing it is that Michonne found Rick. When she says “She found you.” that’s when Rick’s face looks shaken as he realizes Jadis knows Michonne is here.

Then Jadis, who in her own weird twisted way is like one of the biggest believers in Richonne, says, “If anyone could she could.” It's good that Jadis is at least putting some respect on Michonne’s name here with that very accurate statement, even tho she’s still ticking me off.

But it is true - if anyone was gonna find Rick even despite him being trapped in a hidden city, it would be his soulmate.

Rick steps further into the apartment and reacts like he’s ready to end Jadis right here and now. Jadis reveals she knows what really happened in the forest and that the sword was Michonne’s meaning she’s the one who slit up those soldiers. Rick looks down as he listens and realizes that for the umpteenth time, Jadis is screwing up his plans. 😪

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Jadis says she’s keeping the knowledge she has off the books and just storing it in her twisted bowl-cut head. She tells Rick, “This doesn’t fall under our long-standing deal.” And then knowing full well that Michonne probably has revitalized Rick to feel like he and her can finally break free Jadis says, “You have to know that if you try to escape with her I will make sure that all those people that you love die - including a few that I like very much.”

Just when I thought I couldn’t root for Jadis' demise any harder than I already was she says this. 😑 Had me watching like...

Rick reacts to the threat with worry in his eyes as he approaches and Jadis stands up to tell Rick, “You have to know that. I’m certain that you do.” And it’s sad seeing Rick have to be pulled right back into the CRM’s propaganda that they are impossible to overcome. Jadis says she’s had to do worse things and her hands are already covered in blood so they can't get any bloodier.

Then she says she has a question to ask Rick. She apologizes for the language she's about to use and then calls back to the odd way she used to speak when she and Rick first met in season 7 when she says, “But you’ve heard a lot of language from me, yes yes yes?” Ooh that ticked me off off off y’all, cuz she’s so smug as she shatters Rick’s hope of getting him and Michonne out of here. 😡

Jadis smiles and then drops the smile as she sternly asks what Rick is doing and Rick just stares at her silently, clearly thinking “Not today, not tomorrow…

And that concludes episode 2 of TOWL. Another great episode that I thoroughly enjoyed. 👏🏽

After years of waiting for that Richonne reunion moment, it was perfection. And this ep made it ultra-clear that TOWL was about to just spoil us rotten because, in the very episode where they reunited, Richonne then has a scene between those vehicles that for me I enjoyed even more, after already adoring the initial reunion. Just gold on gold on gold. 🤩 And we still were just in the front half of the series.

It’s so fitting that Danai got praise from the media for her performance this ep cuz she knocked it out of the park conveying every emotion with such powerful sincerity. Her and Andy’s ability to bring Michonne and Rick to life is truly something special and every minute of their first scenes together as non-dream Richonne was excellent. They made it clear these two's love was still so magnetically alive and blazing. 🙌🏽😍

gif cred: @msanonships

As we now entered the middle of the miniseries - with trifling Jadis added to the mix you just knew things were only going to get more complicated. Especially because her arrival and threats usher in a very different Rick than the one who was convinced he and Michonne could get away together.

No, now Rick’s sole focus is on getting Michonne out of here alive even if it means without him. And well...we’ll see exactly how a certain Dana Bethune feels about that. 😅

During the first two riveting episodes of TOWL, Richonne spent a good chunk of it apart. From here on out they're together, but also have a lot to navigate to truly feel back together. There's a ton to unpack in these next eps, so y'all with these upcoming breakdowns...

Because TOWL's act two has everything. Humor, heartbreak, hunger, a helicopter hurl...

And most importantly, these next two episodes have a whole lot of Richonne gold. 😌👌🏽

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

Simon doesn't really hate Baz (fighting and safety)

Just like Baz never truly hated Simon... (Simon starts to get it when he says something like "he hated me but didn't really hate me... didn't only hate me") Simon doesn't really hate Baz either. (It might seem obvious, but I have been surprised at the insane level of hostility some people seem to perceive Simon had for Baz – I never got that from CO, not even on that first casual read. The point is that it never got too far – the anathema scenes, including Simon reminding Baz for Baz's sake, being also proof of that– except very notably the tape recorder and vampire outing incidents, which were the result of them being dumbass teens who didn't think it was possible to truly hurt the other – both seeing some form of invincibility on the other... and this shit is key. Baz never pushing Simon harder than he could push back goes both ways – not literally for Simon, as he's aware he can't do much to Baz with punches, but you get the point.)

In the beginning, it’s more childish beef (what with them being literal children) and annoyance than true hate, and then he’s just reacting to what he perceives as Baz hating him (Simon has always been taking his cues from Baz). He's reacting to Baz “looking at him with disgust” – which he hates when he perceives it as actual hostility, but we know he’s actually into Baz being a little mean (once he knows he doesn’t truly hate him), and Baz fighting and being fierce.

In the same vein, Baz and Simon both match in being mean and rude because they want the other (but don’t/can't "have them") and they’re frankly socialized to be angry and antagonistic. They're lashing out because they're unhappy, because they want to reach the other and don't know how to do it outside of their assigned roles... because it's safe. It's safe to be angry with Simon, to lash out at him when he's feeling jealousy and heartbreak. Simon is invincible! He might as well be pushed and kicked in the knees, just a little bit. After all, Baz "can't hurt him."

And yeah, Simon goes "I'm gonna kill Baz so he isn't an option" – he's unsettled beyond his comprehension, and what else would he say? "I'm gonna kill Agatha?" the female friend he can easily hurt? He's not a demented creep – he's not going to lash out at her like that, even though he is angry with her, and he does lose his mind when he figures she is "serious" about Baz (and immediately regrets it... it's an accident, but it shows it’s not safe for Simon to have big emotions around people who aren't Baz! he can easily hurt Agatha!... which also tells you very obviously that he never loved her romantically nor experienced attraction for her. It wouldn't have been safe, and the point of their relationship was that it was, in many ways, safety... in no small part because he didn't feel). The things upsetting him about Agatha breaking up with him are numerous but have nothing to do with Agatha herself – it's Baz who he doesn't want to see with someone else, as his romantic jealousy is only about him (including making a jealous scene at Baz about holding hands with Agatha – not hearing him practically confessing he's a vampire because "did you have to hold her hands?" but just dismissing the whole subject with Agatha) (I always wonder "doesn't Simon literally think anybody but him about Agatha going after Baz" but I never check).

Lashing out at Baz like that, however, is safe, because for Simon, Baz, who is strong and capable and smart and ruthless, is also invincible, even if he doesn't think about it like that. And when he isn't, Simon is willingly walking into his traps not just to see what he's up to, but to make sure he's safe. I killed the chimera for you, he says (because I love you) (protection/taking care of Baz as a love language) (with or without realizing, Simon is saying "I was already in love with you in 5th year, when I killed that chimera for you"). Again, the idea of invincibility, of not believing it possible for the other to truly be hurt is key here. Anger is the one big emotion Simon is familiar with, and Baz is the one person who's safe to get emotional with... "I'll kill him," he says, because he is angry at both him and Agatha (because he’s jealous and wouldn't be able to handle Baz dating anyone, even worse if it's his close friend "liking Baz back" – that would sting far more than whatever "if dating the prettiest girl is a form of success, her choosing someone else is a form of failure" bullshit comphet brainwashing) but only Baz is truly safe to be really angry at. Baz can handle him at his worst. But this is the same guy throwing up at the idea of Baz being actually hurt – he can't handle it. Penny says "Baz" and "death" in the same sentence and Simon stops eating immediately. It's safe because Simon doesn't really mean it… Fighting is safe because neither thinks they can truly hurt the other (hence why verbal fights feel like shit in WS, and physical fights are not even a fucking possibility once they get together... once they get a taste of "we can have each other in the ways we actually want to" going back to their old combative ways just hurts) (see also how Simon's explosive anger is never directed at Baz anymore, but at who he perceives as safe targets, like "competition" that can also be seen as Evil) (Lamb, in case it's not clear) (trying to fucking kill him both as escalation of growing jealousy and protective instincts).

Few things are more telling than Simon jumping Baz, incapable of stopping his kisses when they should run, and going "it's so hot that I got to see you fight without picking a fight with you myself..." and that's part of it too. The big, hard-to-manage feelings Simon feels for Baz – romantic love and sexual attraction – being so hard to understand while trapped inside of a heteronormative mindset, and while just not being used to identify big feelings outside of sadness and anger... Baz got to him, he existed rent-free on his head 24/7, and he missed him terribly every time he had to go days, weeks, months without sleeping on the room as him... wouldn't it be easier to interpret attraction as anger when he's constantly picking fights with Baz to get his attention on him? Because he finds Baz hot and is especially hot when he sees him fight? And how would he understand he loves him when comphet is such a big thing shaping his life in that moment, when he resists processing and being inside of his head, when he seeks an easy “comfort” in being told what to do and how to live all the time by others?

It's easier to default to what he knows. But once he knows better (that he wants to love and take care of Baz, that he wants to make him happy), it's impossible to go back to that. Fighting is no longer safety, but torture. Once he understands what he feels for Baz (also tied to just... maturing, fighting as kids sure as hell isn't the same as fighting as grown adults) he can't direct his anger towards Baz like he used to, when he existed without thinking... because it is unthinkable. Note how Simon can't handle the thought of Baz being angry with him while they're not on good terms. Again, his reaction to Baz potentially being with someone else ("I'll let him go for his own good," says the guy who tries to kill the good-looking vampire who might or might not want to have his way with his boyfriend, who would rather spoil a mission with his presence because he's absolutely not risking his boyfriend possibly "flirting" with another guy) is completely different once he knows better. He shows anger and jealousy in front of Baz, but he does so like a regular person (as opposed to unhinged hero programmed to think like a boy soldier) (I mean the "showing his emotions in conversation part," not the stabbing part, and even then, again, that's not aimed at Baz. And that also says a lot: Simon is all "attack first, talk later," and yet with Baz, he's always all bark no bite during their “enemies” era)

[cattimeswithjellie]

Liveblogging Doc Stream VOD, 6/8/24

(Just as an important contextual note for this stream, Doc is _always_ joking when he vows revenge or eternal hatred on somebody in these streams. He has assured everyone on a number of occasions that his petty rage is a bit and neither he nor the other Hermits ever take it seriously.)

Doc Stream, 6/8/24

9:20 Doc opens the stream by claiming that some crimes are so heinous that they require immediate retaliation. Someone has touched Doc’s redstone, and he is Not Amused. He tells chat that he was emotionally distressed to the point that he killed Cleo’s pig, but insists that the pig is really the victim of whoever touched the redstone. He offers a plea in the alternative that the pig was looking at him funny and it was really a case of self defense. Chat is divided on whether this is a compelling argument, but most of them are still busy saying hello.

10:38 Doc switches camera to Hermitcraft. He is in his base. He tells chat they will investigate swine crime later. He recaps last week’s stream where he broke 5k subscribers and says that his wife does not believe him about his number of subs. Today’s sub count is 4788 as a result of some gift subs lapsing. He needs to make it to 10k subs so he doesn’t notice as much if he loses a few. He thanks some subs and donos. Someone in chat mentions TCG and Doc is happy to be able to talk about it at last. He also admits that he has finally solved his considerable lag problem but is embarrassed about it.

14:50 Doc tells Chat that Beef has been working on TCG behind the scenes, and Joe Hills has been cultivating an IRL TCG community to play the game. The Hermits decided a TCG expansion is in order and artists have been hired for the new work. All the artists are under NDA, on pain of goat-slapping. Several of the DCP artists are part of the project. Doc was barraged with questions from his team on what sort of art he wanted, and insisted he wanted the artists to make the decisions. He was forced to join a Discord and actually talk to the artists, which is clearly terribly painful to him (in a clearly joking way.) He thanks more subs,.

17:55 Doc shows off the new smoothness of his improved FPS. He admits that for weeks he was whining and complaining about lag, but the solution was simple: a vacuum cleaner. When he finally cleaned the dust and yuck out of his computer, his overheating and lag problems were magically solved. He is embarrassed but pleased. He still has not set up his new PC.

20:45 A chatter asks how Doc’s day is going. He says it is brilliant, that he set up a tomato house and needs to end the stream on time because he has a delivery of garden equipment coming in. Home growing of cannabis is legal now in Germany and now it is quite difficult to find home gardening equipment at the shops. At the moment his plants are growing very well. He has 30-40 plants for sure this season. He is very excited about his tomatoes.

22:45 Time for work! The beacon is broken again. He thought he fixed it, but has a suspicion something else is broken. He needs to be on the server tomorrow at 6:55am to see what happens at that time. He talks about some redstone stuff involving the beacon that is beyond the ken of this livestreamer, but the upshot appears to be that the beacon is getting loaded and unloaded during server reset and that breaks it. There is supposed to be a workaround involving a hopper clock but it is not working. He wants to be online and watching what happens at the next reset. Doc thanks more donos and gets attacked by phantoms who shriek “Time to Shreep!” in Bdubs’ voice. He sleeps.

26:05 Doc’s job for today is to fill the machine he built last week to make armor trims. He will also investigate the heinous crime of redstone-touching. He gets a shulker box from his dispenser and begins filling it with the materials that can be used to decorate armor. Chat helps by reminding him of which materials he needs.

29:00 Doc makes the (possibly hubristic) claim that he is going to work today and no one will be able to stop him. He talks about the insanity of last week’s stream and how it was a once in a lifetime experience with the chat determined to get him to 5k subs. He is still not over it. He finishes gathering his materials then pauses to think. Chainmail armor cannot be used in the machine, but leather armor is possible. Doc asks how to farm leather. Chat suggests murdering horses and he calls them murderers. He raises the possibility of finding a hoglin farm or possibly bartering. He goes to the nether.

31:50 A chatter asks what is the weirdest fan-made thing that Doc has seen about himself. He says not to get him started. He begins to AFK the hoglin farm and demands chat do the math to determine how much leather will be needed. Chat doesn’t know, but is pretty sure it is more than 3. Doc settles on 96. He says a lot of fanart is pretty weird, especially the shipping fanart of him and Ren, though he has always said he doesn’t mind. He is not going to address the fanfiction but describes it as really far-out weird. Chat immediately calls him out (good-naturedly) for calling Ren his husband and then saying that ship art is weird. A chatter asks if Doc is using his new PC, he repeats his embarrassing vacuum-cleaner story. We get more details about the lengths Doc went to while chasing down his lag, including streaming to Cortex, maker of the Sodium-rendering mod Nvidium. Cortex apparently did suggest overheating might be the problem but Doc insisted with great fervor that his computer couldn’t possibly be overheating.

38:20 After recalling all of these computer misadventures, Doc decides that the story is too embarrassing to keep retelling. From this point onward in the stream, anyone who comments on the lack of lag will be told that Doc is actually using the new PC. Chat is not allowed to snitch.

40:00 Doc says that the new video got a small amount of static in the comments over the “wokeness” of putting up a rainbow beacon to celebrate his friends during Pride Month. Doc relates the arguments he has had there and on Twitter. LGBTQ issues are not a major issue in Doc’s life, as a cishet man, unless someone is going after his friends. (He makes a quick reference to the time he got in a fight at Disney because some people were hassling Bdubs, a story he has told before.) He very much disagrees with the argument that Pride is being shoved into people’s faces. He says people are just weird. He speculates that it may be a cultural thing as well, that in Germany nobody is really arguing about Pride month.

43:30 Doc arrives back at the shopping district. He says it is time to stop focusing on the complainers and get back to the really important issue, which is his redstone. A chatter points out that his mic is hot and he says he wants it that way, so that everyone can hear. He yells to the empty shopping district “YOU HEAR ME, HERMITS? A CRIME! HAS! HAPPENED!” He says he’s going to put up speakers all over the server to remind people. Someone asks if the crime was pig murder. He is not amused. He does not believe Scar or False were the culprit. At the suggestion of chat he does a quick check for snails in the machinery, saying that if he sees any, he will be getting out the strong pesticide. No snails are found. Doc says he wants to fix it very badly, but that would be tampering with evidence. He does some more shouting into the shopping district, then admits he doesn’t believe Xisuma or False, the only hermits online, had anything to do with it. False apparently is an angel, with no criminal energy inside her.

46:30 Time for work. Doc does not believe it was Cleo either, because when he killed her pig she got mad instead of confessing. He realizes that he forgot to bring the shulker box with him and it is back in the swamp. He blames chat.

47:30 Doc begins walking home, discussing potential suspects. The only Hermit he remembers tweaking lately is Scar, by laughing at the Death Scar prank and telling him he’s on Jevin’s side. He is sure it isn’t Scar, though, because Scar is a very bad liar and also would not have lied but would’ve doubled down and demanded to know what Doc was gonna do about it. He also doesn’t think it was Grian because he and Grian are cool right now and Grian hasn’t been around. He wonders if Joel might have done it just to be pesky. Chat suggests XB or Wels, and insists Joel would not mess with a build. Doc says XB is too nice. It definitely wasn’t Joe because Joe is Doc’s lawyer. He thinks Iskall is a possibility and decides to check his shop purchases. If Dark Oak has been purchased, the trail of evidence leads to Iskall. Doc declares that this is the biggest scandal on Hermitcraft since the tunnel bore incident. By now he has arrived home and collects up his shulker box and crafting table.

50:50 Back to the shopping district, as Chat continues naming basically ever Hermit as possible suspects. Doc thanks his “sugar mama” donos and does a little dance for them, then gets down into the guts of his redstone. He says that this is going to involve some brainwork. He swears incidentally, surprising some chatters, and explains that he does swear during stream. A chatter mentions that he is hotmiccing his swears into the shopping district, but Doc does not appear to notice.

55:15 A chatter says he is a fan of what Doc and the Hivemind are doing and encourages him to keep it up. Doc says his plans are to invent email on the server and maybe also do some drilling. He begins creating armor for the Tide armor trim, remembers that Tide is the name of a laundry detergent, then remembers the eating Tide Pods fad. He briefly despairs for humanity, then moves on to discussing how the armor pieces should be decorated. Chat helps Doc make various fashion choices.

59:45 A dono comes in labeled “from the ladies in the chat.” Doc says he knows 90% of his audience is ladies and that he is catering to the female audience, with his looks. Chat has many reactions to this information. Doc reiterates that he is the humble GOAT. He cannot say it with a straight face.

1:01:20 Another dono comes in claiming that a large percentage of his audience is nonbinary and should also be catered to. Doc assures them that he is also catering to the nonbinary audience, again with his looks. He cannot remember the phrase “gender goals,” but says he has been told that he is a gender role model for several fans who are transitioning. Chat assures Doc that he is indeed very gender. Doc says that he is catering to everyone with his looks. He does admit that it is hard to keep track of the often-complex array of identities and banners within the community, especially as someone who is outside of it, but reiterates that he loves all of Chat. He declares that the Jolly Roger is the flag usable by everyone, because being a pirate is the best thing you can be.

1:04:15 A chatter activates the auto text-to-speech function and makes it chant lyrics to “All The Single Ladies.” Doc is surprised, but does another little dance. He goes back to the topic and says that the most sexualization surrounding Pride comes from the people who are too preoccupied with disliking it. Back to the armor fashion discussion.

1:08:00 Doc responds to a hello message from an arriving chatter and advises the rest of the chat that if they want to be noticed by the streamer, they should use the color that this particular chatter has used, because it is very attention getting. (The chatter has chosen magenta as their username color.) A chatter asks if Doc is going to build one of every combination of armor and trim. Doc says no, that would be crazy. He is going to build a nice mix to showcase some possibilities. He replaces more armor pieces in the droppers and decides to use pink leather in place of chainmail, which does not work in the machine.

1:10:50 Doc heads for the dye shop to find pink dye. He examines Pearl’s Wordle build but finds that the dye is still in her truck shop. He accidentally visits the Purr-Purr shop before finding his way to the dye truck. Doc gets out his ender chest and realizes that he has no diamonds because he put all of them in the materials shulker box, which is back at the armor machine. He scolds chat for not reminding him to bring diamonds to the dye shop and bemoans their laziness in relying on their GOAT to remember everything. After a quick trip across the shopping district, he pays for his dye and dyes his leather armor pieces.

1:13:45 More armor fashion choices, this time for Coast trim. Doc is pleased that with the lag gone, he is getting so much done today. His anvil immediately breaks, but he has a spare.

1:15:55 Doc shows off the completed set of Coast trim armor, mostly in shades of pink and blue. He is pleased with it and wishes that he were allowed to dye his netherite armor different colors. He agrees with chat that the armor set gives a maid sort of vibe. He continues with more trims and more armor and trim color combinations, with occasional commentary. Vex trim looks a bit like a suit and tie outfit and a bit like a color-swapped version of Scar’s default skin.

1:23:14 A chatter asks if Doc would complain about sand less if it were easily renewable. Doc says of course, and that it _is_ easily renewable, you just have to make a sand duper. He begins working on the Sentry trim set, which confuses some chatters who think he is saying Sandtree. A chatter gifts a large number of subs. Doc threatens to name all the remaining armor pieces after the chatter. He is close to 5k subs again and encourages all viewers with Twitch Prime to sub now. A different chatter gifts a large number of subs. Doc insists that this gifting of subs cannot go on forever, but is clearly grateful for the generosity.

1:28:00 A chatter asks if the subscription price increase in July means a raise for the streamers. Doc says he does not know. He got an email from Twitch but hasn’t read it yet because most Twitch email is junk. He guesses that the split is usually based on percentage, so a higher sub price ought to mean more money for the streamer. He continues building armor pieces. He corrects a chatter’s misconception that partners get a 70/30 split, saying that 50/50 is the usual split.

1:31:50 A chatter says that Doc has no reading comprehension (Doc misread an earlier comment about bananas.) He says that he knows what the comment meant, but what he said was funnier. He deliberately bananifies a chatter’s name when thanking them for a dono. He talks some about how the grind on YouTube and Twitch is relentless, and that on Twitch, missing even one or two streams can cause a catastrophic drop in sub numbers. He puts together an armor set in the Silence trim, which most chatters seem to agree is the best. Doc agrees in part, but says the chestplate is too much. He does like the way the armor turned out, calling it “serious drip.” Chat suggests it looks like Optimus Prime.

1:36:50 A donor makes a donation and activates the auto text-to-speech. Doc comments that the “single ladies” (a holdover joke from last week) are generous today and says sometimes he feels like a stripper. Chat thinks this is very funny and he acknowledges that he says the weirdest things. Chat assures him that he can leave his hat on. They also attempt to summon Cub for horn acquisition. A chatter says they love Doc’s content but he should keep his clothes on because he’s got no curves. Doc takes great affront to this and assures chat that he has serious booty that he gets complimented on on a daily basis. He is favorably compared to many women’s husbands on the playground. He tells stories about this while chat loses their collective mind. Doc goes back to assembling armor pieces. He tells chat his current weight is 88kg, and that he used to weigh more when he played basketball but it’s been the same for about fifteen years.

((Liveblogger fast-forwarded through some conversation about weight loss and dieting at this point due to personal mental health concerns. Doc continues working on armor trims during this time.))

1:48:30 Doc says that he is almost done with the first half of stocking the machine. He has finished the trims up as far as the Rib trim. He begins working on the Ward trim. He says he may give Bdubs the chainmail he is taking out of the factory and that giving some gifts to the judge might come in handy. He clarifies to chat that he has all the respect in the world for single moms, having grown up as one. Chat queries him intensely on this, and he clarifies he grew up _with_ a single mom. Chat threatens Doc with more fanart.

1:51:55 Chat suggests conducting a poll on how many single ladies love Doc. Doc says they should definitely not do that, because Karin will not like knowing how many single ladies there are out there. (He is clearly joking.) He tells the single ladies to stay in the shadows, and that he knows they are there. He gives them a flirtatious waves and shushes them. He’s beginning the single ladies song again when suddenly interrupts himself with “I put it in the wrong hole again, goddammit.” Chat has the expected reaction to this turn of phrase. It takes Doc about thirty seconds to realize what he has said. He facepalms so hard he nearly falls out of range of the camera. Looking extremely pained, he tells Chat they have their mind in the gutter all day long. Chat has never been so desperately eager for Cub to make an appearance. Doc approves of the Ward armor trim samples and makes a noise similar enough to “uwu” to catch Chat’s attention again. He does not know what Uwu means, and Chat is only marginally helpful. Doc laments that life is hard for Boomers like him. Chat suggests that he should ask Gem but he refuses, saying she will just make fun of him.

1:55:00 With one side of the build completed, it is time for a short break. He wonders aloud if someone has been sneaking around inside his redstone. Chat suggests that maybe Doc is 77. Doc says that streaming is definitely not easy work, due to the CONSTANT INSULTS. Despite saying it is time for a break, Doc does not appear to be taking a break. He throws away some excess chainmail with the comment that Bdubs will not be happy about it. Almost instantly a zombie appears in full chainmail armor and tries to kill Doc, followed by another zombie with a chainmail helmet. Chat suspects this is revenge.

2:00:00 Dune trim construction. Doc sings a song about choosing armor trims. The trim comes out looking like tie dye and is declared a Renbob shirt. Doc says he is beginning to reach the unhinged portion of the stream. He sings a little more about what he is doing. Chat is unconvinced that the unhinged portion of the stream is only starting now.

2:03:10 A chatter called “Mistress of Torture” subscribes, Doc takes notice and jokes that this is one of the single moms, but a scary one. That chatter then goes on to make a large gift of subs Doc says “Thank you, Mistress” and laughs for awhile over that. Sub total is back over 5k. Doc thanks Chat as a whole for their great generosity in the last two streams. Someone in chat says they are all simps for Doc. Doc responds that just as there are Ethogirls, there are DocMILFs, which causes a substantial reaction in the chat.

2:06:40 A chatter subscribes and asks what they are signing themselves up for. Doc says they don’t want to know. A chatter suggests that now Chat knows what the M in DocM77 stands for. Doc says that his name came from his basketball friends. He could jump very high, so they said he could jump like Doctor J, but called him Doctor M because it is his last initial. He was also called Doc, he explains, because of his great understanding of and charisma with “the ladies,” who would often come to him with their problems. Doc assures Chat that he was never into chasing women, that his first long-term relationship was when he was 14, and that relationship lasted seven years. A short period of madness followed, and then he met Karin. Chat asks how he met Karin, and he says it was at a carnival party that he attended. It was a last-minute invite so he didn’t have a costume. He put a trash bag on and went as garbage. He saw Karin at the party and told his buddy that he just spotted his future wife. Despite the fact he was wearing a trash bag, he went up to her and they hit it off. Before the end of the party, he tore a heart-shaped piece of trashbag off his costume and wrote his phone number on it. She called him back. “Doctor Love strikes again, suckers,” he concludes. Karin still has the trash bag fragment.

2:11:00 Doc talks more about meeting Karin. He had been having fun as a basketball player, lots of cheerleaders, parties, etc, but he knew right away that she was different. Their friends didn’t initially believe it, but he always knew. He flies to the nether to gather more levels for trimming armor at his gold farm. Chat is disappointed that Doc did not visit Bop N Go. Chat asks for more tips about relationships, but he says there are no good general dating tips because everyone is so different. He says people enjoy the company of people who like themselves. Not narcissism, but knowing yourself and having self-confidence. Putting yourself out there to meet a potential new partner is scary, but the worst they can do is say no.

2:19:00 Doc has almost 30 levels but wants to gather a few more. Chat offers its own dating tips, including good hygiene, not being a dick, and talking to women like human beings. Doc tells chat that if you talk to women like a pickup artist or Andrew Tate, you’re not likely to get far. He offers more bits of relationship advice. A chatter asks how old Doc is, he tells them he is 19. Chat thinks that is very funny.

02:23:00 Doc leaves the gold farm. He is planning on rebuilding it bigger and better at some point, but not until after the next update. He is still being hounded by the forces that would suppress shadow poppy technology but he will never stop. He arrives back at the armor trim shop and tries to remember what trim is next. He talks with chat about the sub count and how many subs have been donated in the last two weeks. He still cannot get over last week’s stream.

02:27:10 A chatter asks if Cleo and Doc will be the first in the new courthouse. Doc says maybe, but what he is really interested in is catching the person who touched his redstone. He claims he would _never_ touch anyone else’s redstone. He believes capital punishment is the only acceptable consequence for such a crime. Doc says that stocking the armor shop machine is not the sort of chores he likes to do, but he is happier doing it on stream with chat to keep him company. He talks about a lumberjack-related television show from Canada that he he watches (Big Timber) and says he enjoys Canadian accents.

2:30:55 Doc sings again. He trims some more armor. A chatter compliments the Goatfather voice from Season 7 and Doc does a brief reprise. He shows off the pants with the Snout trim and declares the size of the belt buckle “sus.” Chat agrees that the pants belong to Texas. Doc has not been to Texas but he would like to go there and eat a gigantic T-Bone steak, drink Bud Light and talk about guns. Doc is not a gun advocate himself, he just wants to talk about them. A chatter says that Doc has Tweeted some strange stuff over the years, Doc scoffs at the possibilty of him saying anything weird.

2:34:00 Doc has been to New York before and has many basketball friends from there. He loves Brooklyn. He accidentally presses a button on the machine, which causes it to dispense an armor. He says that was not good, but the machine is not broken. He talks more about New York. He also talks about going up in the Sears Tower in Chicago and the Space Needle in Seattle. He likes anything you can climb. It has been about 10 years since Doc’s last trip to New York City, he’d like to go back and see how it has changed. He does more armor trims.

2:38 Doc talks more about changes in New York. He says the homeless situation was surprising to him when he visited, but it also happens in Germany and European cities. A chatter says it is unsafe to go to any major cities in the US, Doc scoffs at this idea and says the danger is very exaggerated. A chatter asks Doc to never say their name again because the first mention gave them a mini heart attack, Doc says it again and adds the headline “Twitch Streamer Kills Viewer.” He falls off his scaffolding several times and becomes frustrated. Doc talks about differences between Europe and the US regarding perceptions of race and interracial couples.

2:43:30 Doc thanks a new Twitch Prime subscribers, reminds other viewers with Prime subscriptions that they can subscribe for free. He pulls more armor out of the machine to trim. A chatter asks about Twitch Nitro, which reminds Doc that he wants to try running an ad. He has zero income from ads right now and wants to see what happens if he runs an ad. Chat points out that after the past two weeks, everyone in chat is subbed and will not see an ad. Doc says he needs a bathroom break but will hold it in because Chat demands it. (Chat is being fairly encouraging about running an ad.) Doc says if he pees his pants he will blame Chat.

2:47:30 A chatter asks what Doc will sell trim for. He says 6-7 shulkers of sand, to make the other Hermits regret their life choices. Chat says Scar is about to make bank, Doc agrees. ((Scar is selling sand for 15 diamonds per shulker as of Skizz’s latest stream, making the cost of a trim approximately 90 diamonds)). Doc admires his statue and its prominent booty. He says he debated with Jerome over the size of the statue’s booty, but Jerome assured him that the audience will love it. Chat generally agrees.

2:51:40 A chatter suggests using more iron armor instead of the gold and leather, Doc says iron does not show armor trims as well as other materials. Doc says he can’t pick a bad armor trim because it turns out that he likes them all. He notes a “battle of the MILFs” in the chat as two chatters make gifts of subs. Doc’s lead moderator claims victory as Chief MILF.

2:53:55 Ren signs onto the server, Doc calls him his husband. He explains that the community’s will is that he and Ren are some old married couple. Doc reaches the last set of armor trims. He asks Ren if he is streaming. Ren is not streaming, which is disappointing to Doc.

2:56:15 Doc shows off Shaper trim, the last set of trim, and reevaluates his stance that no trims are bad. He does not like Shaper because it is too generic. He accidentally hits another button. He replaces all the armor in the machine and the job is done. Returning to the surface, Doc hits some note blocks on purpose to run the machine. It produces a set of armor. Doc approves and says it looks like a superhero costume. He says the dispenser will probably need to be encased in glass because Hermits will definitely mess things up. He dismisses the armor. He talks about how to make a payment box, explaining he was deeply disappointed in Bdubs for not seeing the payment box in the wood shop. He expects Hermits to be breaking this machine for the rest of the season. The machine is taking a long time to reset.

3:00:00 Doc goes back into the redstone of the machine to troubleshoot. He figures out what happened and fishes out a chestplate that is lodged in a dropper. He’s not sure what went wrong and wishes he could replicate the error.

3:02:00 Doc returns to the surface and starts wrapping up. He is pleased with today’s progress. He tucks away his diamonds and says he is running low on loose diamonds. Returning to the studio view, he thanks the chat and the mods and looks for someone to raid to. He raids into FalseSymmetry and ends his stream.

[cocogum]

Let’s TALK about episodes 9 and 10 people… (part 1)

PART 2 : HERE

(‼️SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4‼️)

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If you thought episodes 7 and 8 had so much to talk about (cuz I sure did), then episodes 9 and 10 destroyed my mind.

….

I am so tired.

We begin with a small recap of what happened last episode and it’s honestly very nice and heartwarming of Ankama to remind us that Yugo will get his ass handed to him in a few minutes.

BRO LOOK AT HOW THEY’RE DRAGGING HIM ON THE DIRTY FLOOR LIKE THAT!!

The level of disrespect these thirsty hoes have for him is immeasurable. Even if Yugo’s not a kid, the fact that the necromes didn’t hesitate to tie him up like that and sacrifice him like a lamb is jaw-dropping. It really makes you understand that they don’t give a shit if you’re an actual kid, they will hang you up like a roast beef for dinner.

Bro’s asking as if he just got here.

Also, how do you think that fall must’ve felt like? Cuz when Toross yeets him, Yugo takes a massive fall only to get his body slammed into the pavement when he gets tied up.

He gets to fall even faster because of the stasis ropes pulling him down too.

You can even hear the loud slam when he hits it. That must’ve hurt like a bitch.

Btw I love how even after all that, Adamaï and Amalia still don’t trust Qilby even when he saved them from the necrome world.

Adamaï thinks he was an idiot for not using the eliatrope Dofus and…he’s right? Cuz my guy…ur scared of ruining things if you use the dofus but what are you gonna ruin in a place WHERE THERE’S NO WAKFU????

Sometimes I can’t tell whether or not that guy’s okay in his head. Like is he blind or something? You can clearly tell that the necrome world is completely deserted and has no actual life, Amalia even CONFIRMS IT for you, Toross is literally using his dofus in his world of nothing, AND it’s also literally known as the gods’ garbage bin.

No wonder you get slapped around so much, you’re stupider than Yugo!!

I never in my life thought that I’d eventually get to see Qilby booping Amalia’s nose.

And I don’t know if I should like it or if I should fear it.

Man literally booped her as if she was a kid. But then again, he IS a millennial years old so it would explain why he’d treat her like a fetus.

In a way, he really CAN see her as a kid who doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.

But like-

I never imagined this happening???? Not even in a trillion chances 😀😀

BUT WHAT CONFUSES ME EVEN MORE IS THIS :

I get that Amalia annoyed him when she said he STILL couldn’t be trusted but what do you mean by “artificial”??? I’m still confused about that.

MY QUEEN NORA AND HER GAY ASS IS BACK WITH HER SHENANIGANS GURL WE SEE U !!

You can’t tell me this scene ain’t gay 😭😭

The way she grabbed her was so sudden, it made my heart jump!! And Amalia just goes with it like a damsel in distress being protected by her knight 🥰🥰 My noramalia senses detected that shit from a mile away, you ain’t getting away!!!

That torture scene tho should’ve taken longer ngl. But Okoo being the kid that they are decided “hell nah”. It’s still a shame really but at least we got what we needed.

Also, lemme just say something about this torture scene real quick.

Not only does Yugo get sucked the living out of him, but he just got BODY SLAMMED FROM AT LEAST 290 FEET on LITERAL PAVEMENT so now his back is completely obliterated, he keeps CONVULSING, TWITCHING, and GETS HIS BONES BREAKING TO GROW LONGER ONES-

He’s feeling all that WHILE getting sucked to death. My god. I wanted to see more of that.

The only reason why he didn’t turn out ballistic was cuz Oropo was keeping him busy in his head. He literally told him that he’ll make him fight just to not think about it.

And even though Oropo does hate him (but calmed down a bit once he reunited with Yugo), he told him that even he doesn’t deserve all of this. Can you imagine the one who caused so many calamities and was ready to kill the gods because he hates you telling you that even you don’t deserve this?? It just shows how kinky this Toross guy is.

[thrumbolt]

It’s not true that Feyre’s trauma only shows up in the spring court or that it disappears in the night court. Just as she only once when surprised freaks out at the red of Lucien’s hair, she only sometimes is triggered in the NC. The first time she and Rhys fly after she leaves the spring court, she panics when she feels caged by his wings and Rhys has to back off. Mor doesn’t wear red for a bit to not trigger her. Then there’s the whole Prison plot where she can’t handle the Prison the first time because of her trauma and even when she eventually goes in, she’s freaking out.

Her trauma gets better with time even though she is still struggling on acowar and obviously it’s not every second or she wouldn’t have spent so much time with Lucien and been fine with his red hair all times except once when surprised

Thanks for the anon! You bring up some good points, but I still have to complain haha.

My issue is that she is not just triggered at Lucien's red hair. She is also triggered by red paint and red rose petals....and then never again. Red carpet at Rhys' just a few pages after she gets 'saved' from the spring court? Whatever. Cassian's red syphons? Nothing. That's bad writing, in my opinion. Either the dang color red reminds her of blood and triggers her, or it doesn't, but how it is almost immediately forgotten - that's just inconsistent (it would be definitely much more meaningful, if it slowly improved). Honestly I don't really remember her having any hangups in Acowar at all. And neither has Rhys. He gets like what, one nightmare and one sex position hangup? I was really disappointed that it just....went over so quickly. Maybe that's why I latch onto Tamlin? At least his issues aren't gone after a book. They even get worse as he doesn't seek help. It's just more compelling to me.

My biggest beef in this regard is that Feyre gets triggered getting locked in, but the first time she gets taken by Rhysand and HE locks her in a room, she's totally fine, despite being actually low key scared of him at that point still and him not taking her home despite her asking him to. It just makes no sense, even with the added wing scene (which I did not remember, so thanks for that). I get that in the Tamlin version she is hysterical (for lack of better term) so it ends in a panic attack, but still.

There's also the part of how she has all these freak outs in the spring court while she is totally able to just literally re-enact her UTM experience in hewn city. Did that not bother you? Yes Rhys calms her and shit, but I couldn't help but eyeroll at that.

In the end I think it's just very manipulative writing to prime you on Rhys good, Tam bad. Spring Court lame, Night Court awesome. When SJM wants something to happen in the plot, it will happen, no matter if it makes sense. Be it the Tamlin-Rhys switcheroo, the UTM sexy scene, the pregnancy plotline, what have you. It's why every new book retcons something from the previous ones.

Personally, I can float with that and accept the silliness of it all quite well. But in consequence it also means I do not take the trauma plot as serious as some and I really do not care whether or not Tamlin is abusive and so on....

[anthurak]

Okay, here’s an interesting thought I had after noticing Alastor’s mouth stitched shut in this scene; it’s a rather curious design choice, no? The idea of the demon defined by his voice having his mouth stitched shut. But the thing is, Lilith is ALSO known to have power imbued into her voice. So here’s my thought:

What if Lilith isn’t just giving Alastor orders through his deal with her, what if she’s outright puppeteering him, at least to some degree? Specifically, through the static in Alastor’s voice. We see a number of occasions of Alastor’s shadow moving independently of him, something that could easily hint at an outside influence on his actions. And what is the static in Alastor’s voice if not a kind of auditory ‘shadow’ of its own? And again, given that Lilith’s power seems closely tied to her own voice, it’s certainly an easy connection to make.

The main reason I bring this up is that has anyone else noticed just how oddly specific Alastor’s smacktalking of Adam is in the finale? Like just the prospect of Alastor being on Lilith’s leash doesn’t quite explain just how personal his beef with Adam feels.

But if it turns out that what Alastor says here is actually coming from LILITH? Suddenly everything Alastor does in this scene, right down to picking a fight with Adam in the first place, starts making a whole lot of sense.

Plus it puts a VERY interesting explanation to Alastor’s momentarily losing the static in his voice and his reaction to it. What if Adam’s blast briefly broke Lilith’s connection to Alastor, and his reaction is him realizing A. he is fully in control for the first time in… let’s assume seven years, and B. he is now powerless and facing down a very angry exorcist.

Now this is not to say that literally everything we’ve seen from Alastor has actually been Lilith meat-suiting him this whole time. It’s clear that Alastor must have some degree of autonomy where Lilith isn’t directly controlling him. I imagine that most of the time, Lilith is content to simply send Alastor directives or take something of a ‘backseat driver’ approach, and only at certain times does she boot Alastor out completely and take the metaphorical wheel herself.

The reason I frame it like this is because it not only puts so many of Alastor’s actions in a very interesting new context, but it can also explain just how oddly personally Alastor takes certain things that likely wouldn’t matter much to him, but would almost certainly matter a LOT to Lilith.

I mean just go look at Alastor’s whole pissing contest with Lucifer in episode 5, and now imagine all of that actually coming from LILITH. It recontextualizes that whole bit into an estranged couple fighting over the attention of their daughter, and also one of them deliberately fucking with the other. Not to mention it would put Alastor’s reaction to Husk’s ‘leash’ comment in a very different context; if he just had his boss full-on meat-suit him for a whole song number, reminding him of just how little power he truly has in this relationship, it’s rather understandable why he would flip the fuck out if someone reminded him of it just a few minutes later.

And to circle back to the start of this post, it raises further questions on what exactly is going on when Alastor gets Charlie to make a deal with.

Is this actually Lilith speaking and getting Charlie into a contract as part of some long-term plan?

Or is this really Alastor taking advantage of some brief absence of his boss to go behind Lilith’s back and get a hidden ace up his sleeve for later? Of course, that would assume that Lilith doesn’t actually know what he’s doing and isn’t adjusting her plans accordingly…

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Cat AU Reversal

Remember the AU where Jack is a cat that can transform into a human with or without cat ears and a tail? Well, a recent comment reminded me of the theory that cats might be able to sense ghosts(?) like Jack. This theory came about because cats can’t stand Jack, and he’s not a fan of them either for some mysterious reason. Somehow, I don’t think it’s because Jack is secretly a werewolf or has wolfish traits like he’s from the Omegaverse.

Another bit of lore to fuel this theory came from the (now sadly deleted) trailer where Shaun describes (presumably) Jack as a thing. Shaun has a fair number of cat-like traits, including whisker marks and purring. He’s very cat-coded, so it’s entirely possible that he won’t be able to stand Jack either.

Wouldn’t it be quite interesting then if there was a reversal of the cat AU? Here, MC is the one who’s secretly a cat that can transform into a human, and as such they can sense that there’s more to Jack than meets the eye.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

Content Warning: This post contains talk of sex, cheating, abusive family situations, chronic illness, bullying, death, mourning, body horror, yandere obsession, and kinky sexy times with cat-like features. I’ll try to keep things for the most part light and fun, but sometimes drama likes to creep into these headcanons.

Also, sometimes they spark me to write a snippet of a scene or two!

Really, I can see a lot of potential for a more tsundere experience with Jack. Since cats naturally don’t get along with him and vice-versa, there’d be even more friction between him and his sunshine right from the start. This will make winning MC over a heck of a lot more challenging for Jack, and as such put him at much greater risk if he can’t convince them to want him in spite of this natural repulsion. It can also be a great internal conflict for him, as he dislikes cats yet loves MC dearly.

This sort of scenario would be perfect to insert myself like an isekai given my feline avatar, but y’all know how much I love the guy. Maybe it’s because my avatar is a dragon in the shape of a feline that I’m immune to this feline repulsion. Perhaps dragons are the opposite and just instantly fall in love with Jack instead. Jack certainly loves his sunshine as a dragon.

But you know me, I’ve got to indulge with my OTP, and this sort of silly AU is perfect to do just that.

I know in the past I’ve said that my girl Alice is more bunny-coded, but imagining her as a fluffy white kitty with bright blue eyes is adorable. I can see the whole King family embodying the feline spirit, plus it’d be hilarious to imagine how Bo and Elias would have to deal with similar feline shenanigans from Barbie and Coraline respectively.

I wonder if Elias has similar issues with cats as a ghost. I’d be tragic if he actually liked them in life, only for them to be repelled in death. Naturally, it’s pretty obvious what Bo’s beef with cats is, as it’s hard coded into his virtual doggy DNA. This doggo is going to have to overcome his programming for the sake of love.

So, yeah, this post is less about general MCs in this situation and more about my OCs since the possibilities of messing with the guys with cats is hilarious to me. It’s going to be mostly a light-hearted romp with some spiciness here and there.

Of course, the lore of the game and Sunshine in Hell aren’t quite the same when it comes to cats. I’ve mentioned in the past how Jack and Moon Pie are going to bond, and Shaun and Jack are going to become friends despite their issues. Given my fondness for cats and Jack, I just can’t resist the image of kitties snuggling up to him.

But I like adding a bit of spice sometimes, and not just the NSFW kind. It’d be so interesting if Alice is instinctively repelled by Jack at the start, maybe even seeing him as an undead corpse, but she still chooses to save and be close to him. It’d be a very real beauty and the beast tale.

Then again, it’s probably more accurate to call it a beast and the beast tale considering Alice turns into an animal.

Anyway, things play out as they usually do, with Alice picking up the tape at the thrift store, finding it oddly compelling. In this universe, her favorite way to unwind after a hard day is to turn on the TV and slip into something more comfortable. And by comfortable I mean ridiculously flexible because dang, who wouldn’t want to be able to turn into a boneless little puddle of fur? Have you seen how relaxed cats can get? I can’t help but be a little jealous.

Of course, a good boneless sprawl across the sofa gets a little less relaxing when the tape starts talking back. Alice would turn from a limp noodle to a rigid arch with bristled fur in an instant after hearing a character on TV call her by name.

As I’ve mentioned previously, Alice willingly bonded herself to Jack in Sunshine in Hell to save him from, well, hell. The process just made her forget about it. I’m really fond of this headcanon because it goes well with themes of consent in the game and the fact that Jack is literally unable to do anything his sunshine doesn’t want him to do. He needs MC to want and need him in order to remain in this world.

It’d be quite a bit harder for Alice to agree to such a deal when her instincts are giving her clear warning signals that something is wrong with Sunny Day Jack. Looks aren’t everything, and appearances can be deceiving, but animal instincts tend to be a pretty good guide.

However… that wouldn’t be the only instinct demanding that Alice take action. Alice is the reincarnation of Mary, the person who loved this ghost(?) long before he became Jack. They’re soulmates, and her dying wish was to be reborn and loved by her precious starlight once again.

So it would be a war of two cats inside of Alice. One cat is hissing at the unholy abomination pawing at her soul. The other is mournfully crying out for him with a longing that she just can’t explain. Reminds me of that two wolves meme come to think of it.

It’d be quite the confusing moment, that’s for sure.

On the subject of Mary, it would be interesting if she was a cat shifter too. Joseph could’ve been one of those guys that pretend that they don’t like cats, but secretly just wants to cuddle with one. Sadly, the poor guy is so love starved that he comes on too strong, and cats always try to get away from him. It’s easier for him to just pretend he doesn’t like cats so their rejection doesn’t sting quite so much.

With Joseph being a normal, very much alive human, there would be no instinct warning Mary away from him. Well… not unless Joseph is just a natural cat-repellant like Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh. Still, even in that case, Mary would be his special exception. Even Sakaki eventually found her feline soulmate too after all~

You know, it would be interesting if Mary was the only one in the Phoenix family who could transform into a cat. It could even be her own little secret that only Joseph finds out about. She could even use her feline form to sneak off to visit him at his house. It’d be only fair considering all the times he comes to climb in through her window.

As a cat, Mary had the same pretty blue eyes, but a chocolate colored coat, which is pretty rare for cats.

That suddenly gives me the image of someone scooping up Mary in cat form, intending to make her into their pet. She can’t exactly change back in front of a stranger, and though she struggles with all her might, she can’t squirm out of their grip.

Suddenly young teenage Joseph barrels into the cat-napper from behind! This little punk was no stranger to picking fights, and the second he saw someone try to take Mary away, he had to act. It doesn’t matter if they’re an adult and much bigger than him, Joseph will still punch their lights out!

Sure, Joseph might get in trouble if the person reported him or if an authority figure saw him in the act, but why should he care? He won’t hesitate to take on the entire world if it means he doesn’t have to be separated from the one person in the whole world who actually cares about him.

I wonder if in this universe they could’ve run away together. Sure, Mary might’ve been forbidden from seeing him like in the regular continuity, but if she can sneak out as a cat, she can still see him. After being told that she won’t live to adulthood by her doctor, she refuses to waste time that could be spent with the people she cares about. In the normal timeline, her parents put bars on her windows then forced her to move away. She didn’t have the option to rebel. She didn’t even consider running away as an option. She could only accept this sad truth.

Joseph Cullman was a kid who thought about running away though. He’s someone so lonely, so desperate for love. He can’t just let go of the only person who loves him! It was hard enough going to separate schools and only being able to see each other when Mary could sneak out, but news about the move would be devastating.

Joseph can’t let that happen.

I can imagine the scene of Mary coming to Joseph to tell him one last goodbye…

…

Joseph jolted when he saw the way Mary’s eyes glistened wetly with tears. More tears fell when she shifted back to her human form. The puffiness around her eyes and the redness around them hinted at just how many more tears she had shed before seeing him. “Mary? What’s wrong?”

“J-Jo…,” Mary choked out, but that was all she could say before she threw herself into his arms. She buried her face into the crook of his neck just in time to muffle a sob.

Joseph held Mary tightly to him, his heart pounding so hard his chest hurt while a pit formed in his stomach. He remembered the last time she cried into his arms like this, after the doctor told her that she wouldn’t live to see adulthood.

“It… it’s okay…,” he eventually managed to squeak out. “What… whatever it is… it’ll be okay.” The words came out brittle, a lie too fragile to offer any form of strength to either of them.

It took some time for Mary to finally force out the awful truth.

“M-my family is m-moving away!”

Joseph froze, the words coming down on him with the force of a judge’s gavel delivering the death sentence. He barely kept up with the details Mary managed to add between shaky breaths and choked sobs. It was something about a job states away, but whatever was going on with those damn parents of hers didn’t matter. They could fuck off to a different country - a different planet for all he cared! They certainly never cared about what Mary wanted.

Those bastards weren’t satisfied with simply forbidding Joseph and Mary from being together. It wasn’t enough to put bars on her windows or threaten to call the police if he even stepped foot on their property. This move was so extreme, so permanent and final. It felt like a middle finger directed at both of them and their love.

Joseph couldn’t imagine a life without Mary. He refused to accept it.

No one would take his sunshine away.

But what could they do? Mary couldn’t hide at his house, it’d be the first place they’d look! There were so few places they could go. The teachers were relentless about catching delinquents, chasing them out of secret stomping grounds and poking their noses where they didn’t belong. The police would be even worse.

Nowhere in this town was safe. The only way they could be together was…

“We’ll run away.”

The thought slipped past his lips as a quiet whisper. It came out so easily, just as natural a solution as adding one plus one to make two. Hearing it aloud sparked something in Joseph, and in an instant he just knew it was the right decision.

“Wh-what?” Mary sniffled, as she looked up at him with wide, wet eyes.

“We’ll run away,” Joseph repeated, his voice strong and sure. His eyes blazed with a fire that couldn’t be extinguished, as he squeezed Mary just a little closer. “We’ll run away to someplace where no one knows us, so no one can tell us what to do, or pick on us, or keep us apart ever again.

Though stunned and aghast by the idea, Mary still listened. She was reluctant to leave her family behind, but Joseph knew that they didn’t deserve her. He had spent so much time seeing how badly they treated her. His family was no better. It was the same with their classmates, the teachers…

What few protests Mary could offer were feeble, easily shattered by Joseph’s resolve, which only grew more galvanized as he dug up all the awful things they had gone through over the years. So many times he wanted to scream to the world the unfairness of it all, and he laid that unfairness bare for both of them to see that this city had no love to offer either of them.

And that included the people who shared their blood.

Mary didn’t want to lose the only person who treated her like she was worthy of existing. She also didn’t want to lose her parents and older brother, the people she had known all of her life. She had to choose between her family or Joseph. She loved both so much. She wanted so badly to be loved by all of them. The thought of losing either of them tore her apart inside. No matter who she chose, her heart would be cleaved in two.

In the end, Mary chose to keep the half of her heart that actually made her feel loved.

…

I know I kind of skimmed over the way Joseph convinced Mary to run away with him, but they are two love-struck teens, immature and emotional. Mary wouldn’t necessarily have thought of running away on her own, but Joseph is passionate enough about keeping his sunshine that I’m sure he’ll win her over. They’re both in a very emotionally vulnerable state at the time after all.

The same general story beats are the same, leading the pair to LambsWork Productions, and an eventual tragedy. Being a cat shifter didn’t really change much there, save for one small detail.

Mary ran away one last time after the incident. It was the hardest thing she ever did. The hospital was certainly in a panic over their missing patient in critical condition. However, cats tend to instinctively want to go someplace secluded in their final hours. There was only one place she wanted to go, one cold and lonely place she heard about from the few visitors she got.

The SunnyTime Crew weren’t allowed to arrange a funeral for Joseph, but they made a memorial for him in secret. Mary was told about it. They promised to take her there when she got better, so she just had to keep fighting.

This was Mary’s final fight, one last struggle to reach the memorial on her own four paws. When she finally reached it, she curled up around the cross, between the still lit candles, and thought about her starlight as darkness crept in to steal her away for good.

Thaaaaaaat went a lot darker than I intended this post to go. My apologies. I just have so many big feelings about this poor tragic pair. Let’s switch back to a more hopeful future, shall we?

Alice might not remember being Mary, but some instincts still linger. She’s protective and loving… and she was broken by a cheating ex who moved on to new and exciting people without her. In that vulnerable state, Jack appeared, needing her help. Her feline instincts might scream at the wrongness of him, but they also tell her that he was someone she didn’t realize she was missing for so, so long.

Though wary, Alice does agree to help Jack. It’s more than a little surprising for him to see a white cat instead of a person when he starts crawling out of the TV. That surprise only compounds when she turns into a human to help pull him out.

Really, it makes Jack wonder even more if he really is still dreaming after all.

Alice waking up without remembering their initial meeting does set things back a bit. She’s repulsed by Jack even as she’s drawn to him. It makes her feel guilty, but her instincts haven’t let her down before. They were what told her that things about her relationship with Ian weren’t right, made her question things to the point that spent a chunk of her savings booking a ticket to see him, hoping that surprising him with an unexpected visit would put her fears to rest.

Alice arrived at the most perfect, most horrible time.

Cats have really good hearing, and Alice could hear what Ian and the affair partner were doing in his apartment even before she could knock on the door. She was in shock and didn’t know what to do, had nowhere to go in this city she had never visited before. She was only snapped out of her shock by the phone call Ian made when he tearfully confessed what he had done.

Ian was shocked that Alice already knew what he had done. He was even more shocked that she was there. He ran out, wearing only a blanket to cover his modesty. He stank of sex and the other woman. He was covered in lipstick and markings and fluids. It was a repugnant experience for Alice to get her senses assaulted even as Ian was crying and begging for her forgiveness. He didn’t know how it happened, but he promised that he never did this before.

Of course… the affair partner was there, listening. This person knew about Alice and was keen to rub it in the face of her “rival” that she was “better.” After all, a lot of the allure of seducing someone in a relationship is the feeling of superiority.

It was a cruel scene, one that just made Ian’s betrayal all the worse for choosing to destroy their relationship for someone so awful, someone who delighted in Alice’s misery.

Ian, who was overwhelmed by the enormity of what he had done and the shame eating him alive, could do little more than cry and apologize. He was too much of a mess to even refute his affair partner’s barbs, not after what he had done.

Ian never really was good at standing up to bullies, especially when he was in distress.

Alice never tried to make it work in this universe after that. Ian had destroyed her trust and crushed her heart, and the affair partner poured salt and lye into the wound. For as many times as she forgave Ian, this was a pain inflicted far deeper than any she could recover from.

Alice didn’t drown herself in alcohol and go to the hospital in this universe. She instead wandered lost in the city with her luggage after she finally couldn’t take it anymore and ran away from Ian’s apartment. It was the most alone she ever felt in her life, in a place she didn’t know, with no one to trust who she could turn to. She felt like a housecat that had been thrown out of its home, forced to become a stray on the streets of a big, heartless city.

It was the loneliest Alice had ever felt in her entire life.

It took Alice a while to piece herself back together enough to make the return flight with the help of many phone calls with family and friends. They were there to meet her when she got off the flight at the airport and started crying as she was brought into a group hug.

Of course, in the aftermath, Ian still tried to reach out. He tried to fix things, make it work. Alice could never answer his calls. Hearing him crying and begging broke her further, but the entire incident added a heavy bitterness that kept her from wavering.

Jack arrived while Alice was still healing from such a devastating wound. While she had support immediately after the incident, eventually her family went back to their respective homes, Shaun moved away to further his schooling, and other friends of hers drifted further and further apart, especially after she had to move apartments.

Alice had to adjust to a new city where she knew no one and start her life over. She was alone in a big city, keeping a secret that few could learn about for fear that they wouldn’t understand or might take advantage of it. She was scared and wary of Jack when he suddenly entered her life, but also felt a strange longing. Her heart that wished for those beautiful loving moments with Ian now nudged her towards Jack, and she couldn’t understand why part of her wanted him that way. It made no sense.

Much like a cat, Alice kept her distance from Jack, but not too much. She didn’t want to be alone, so she didn’t want to stray far from him. It was complicated.

Fortunately, despite this feeling of wrongness, Jack constantly proved himself to be gentle and kind. He did so much for Alice, took care of her. He saw her as a cat and was actually enthusiastic about cats. He loves cats in fact! He didn’t think she was strange or scary for being able to transform. Alice found it kind of nice having someone she could trust like this, a secret invisible/imaginary(?) friend that she had all to herself.

Besides her family, the only other people who knew her secret were Ian and Shaun. Alice thought she could trust Ian with anything, but she learned the hard way that she trusted him far too much.

Shaun, as one might expect in this sort of AU, is also a cat shifter. Moon Pie will also be a shifter he adopts. Yes, it means he gets to be a single father, but how could he leave poor baby Moon Pie all alone in the world? Plus we get to see cute moments of Moon Pie in her adorable human form.

Look at that face. Who would be heartless enough to leave her behind? Credit for the gorgeous art, as always goes to the awesome Sauce. Consider supporting them and SnaccPop Studios on patreon!

Cat shifters can sense one another on instinct. That’s how Shaun figured out what Moon Pie was and how he and Alice spotted one another right away when they first met at the college. It made Ian feel uneasy how quickly the two bonded, and he couldn’t help but feel jealous despite being otherwise secure in their relationship. Alice might’ve trusted Ian with her secret, but she wasn’t about to share anyone else’s without permission, so Ian didn’t learn the real reason why they clicked so quickly.

Shaun didn’t like Ian’s vibes so never let Ian in on the secret that he was a shifter like Alice. It also gave him a little bit of petty satisfaction to see Ian jealous. It made bearing his one-sided crush on Alice a little easier. Of course he would never do more than lightly poke Ian to make himself feel better. He would never try to break up a happy couple, and he wasn’t a scumbag who cheats on his partner or helps other people cheat on their partners.

Of course, Shaun soon learned they weren’t quite as happy a couple as they wanted to be.

Sleepovers with Shaun in this universe involved kitty cuddle puddles. There was nothing like curling up together all warm and toasty in some blankets during a horror movie marathon. Cats can do some pretty close cuddling too. It certainly would’ve made Ian and Jack pretty jealous if they saw it!

Which is exactly why Shaun is going to do so when he’s staying at the apartment after getting settled in. He’s gotta pay back Jack for rubbing it in his face that Alice chose Jack after all.

Of course, Shaun isn’t going to have the same split instincts that Alice had. He’s going to be freaking out over Jack, being extra defensive over Alice. For as much as Alice insists that Jack isn’t dangerous, it’s hard for Shaun to shake the feeling of wrongness. Alice fully understands the feeling, as she felt it before. Really, that feeling hasn’t gone away completely, she’s just managed to calm her instincts in that regard with the love she feels for Jack. He’s managed to soothe those defensive instincts down to just a small prickle at the back of her mind.

Since Shaun can’t convince Alice that Jack is bad news, he’s more determined to stick around and keep an eye on Jack. Given how much Alice gave of herself to Ian, who only hurt her in the end, Shaun isn’t convinced that history won’t repeat itself with Jack.

Really, Shaun would consider coming up with excuses to stay in the apartment longer if not for poor baby Moon Pie. Both he and Alice would be worried about her being distressed by Jack's presence. Shaun, naturally, goes protective papa mode, and Alice wants to do all she can to comfort her. For Moon Pie's sake, it's best that they get their own place.

Of course, Shaun would prefer that Alice comes with them and leaves Jack behind.

Jack does try to reassure Moon Pie that he's not dangerous, as she is just an innocent, blind child. It makes him very sad to see any child afraid of him. It bothers him more than he'll admit. (After all, it was Joseph's fear that he might hurt or upset kids as Sunny Day Jack.) He goes out of his way to try and be friendly to her, but she's not convinced, and often openly hisses at him even in human form.

It hurts Jack a lot that the only child that can perceive him is so afraid of him. He can't rest easy with that, eating away at him similar to certain bad memories, so he makes it his personal mission to befriend Moon Pie. It's a priority for him that comes second only to taking care of Alice and loving her.

I figure that Shaun sees a shadowy outline where Jack is, something twisted, putrid, and rotting. Jack gives off a phantom stench that he recoils from. He can't see how Alice can stand to cuddle that thing.

Alice did see Jack in a very distorted way when he arrived. Hell, he still doesn't quite fit in reality, but she can see him for what she is. Her love for him has dulled those repellant sensations so she can better sense him the way he wants her to see, feel, hear, smell, and taste him.

Moon Pie, being blind, can't actually see Jack, but she can keenly feel him, and smell the wrongness. She calls him stinky and often buries her face in Shaun's shirt when Jack is around so she doesn't have to smell him.

While in Sunshine in Hell, Shaun is going to be wary of Jack, over time, he does warm up to the guy, as there’s no instinctive sense of wrongness interfering in that universe. With his protective instincts on high alert in this one, he’s going to have a much harder time calming down about the guy, if he ever does.

It's possible though that Moon Pie will warm up to Jack before Shaun does. Children are more adaptive, and Jack is experienced with dealing with children, plus he is very sincere in wanting to befriend her. Regardless of his feelings about Shaun, he badly wants Moon Pie to like him. Alice certainly helps by championing him as a good guy who can be trusted despite what their feline instincts might lead them to believe.

You bet your sweet bippy that Shaun is going to dig hard into Jack’s past and figure out what the hell is going on with him. He wants to learn everything - where Jack came from, how Jack came to be, what the hell Jack even is, etc. He might wind up digging and clashing with Jack to the point that he gets treated to a certain little speech…

But this was supposed to be a fun and silly AU, so let’s put the drama and yandere horror on the shelf for now and get back to the sweet fluff.

Once Alice gets comfortable with Jack, she’ll start spending time after work curled up in his lap as a cat. Somehow he always manages to find just the perfect ways to stroke her and get her purring. It feels so good, and she practically meeeeeeeelts at his touch. Relaxing as a cat was the best way to unwind, but Jack makes the experience even better, massaging all the soreness out of her muscles and encouraging her to just sprawl across him languidly, opening up to him completely and without reservation or shame.

Jack can’t help but imagine Alice as a human in those positions. It certainly gives him a hard time while they’re still in the friendship stage. He’ll need to be subtle about readjusting his comfy kitty sunshine to rest in his arms or on a pillow in his lap as he hides just how excited he made himself with his naughty private thoughts.

Naturally, once they become a couple and things get intimate, Jack uses these petting sessions as an excuse to coax Alice to let him touch her in human form… though she can keep those cute kitty ears and tail. He just loves how sensitive those parts of her are, so perfect for him to exploit. He can stroke and lick and nibble, making her mewl for him in the most sinful way.

The purring is nice too. Jack loves to point out when Alice is purring for him. It makes him so happy that he can make her feel so good… and of course the purring feels wonderful when he’s inside her. It’s practically sinful the way her warm body vibrates around him, so intimate and pleasurable. Her halfway form has a texture to her tongue, nothing sharp but the little bumps are so nice when she’s going down on him.

Alice is always extra careful about her fangs, but Jack doesn’t mind if she uses them on him. In fact, he encourages it. He loves it when she leaves love bites all over his body, marking him with her love. He makes sure to return the favor so that the whole world can see his love all over her precious body.

Although Jack can’t carry cat Alice around in public like she can in the AU where Jack is the cat, he can still enjoy some kitty in the titty time. His chest is so warm, with ample cleavage that’s perfect to snuggle into. He can even zip up the bottom of his jacket to make sure she won’t fall out of his shirt - not that he would ever allow that to happen. He would never hurt his sunshine, ever!

As a cat, Alice is so small, vulnerable. There’s something just so soothing being tucked into Jack’s shirt, pressed against his skin, listening to his heartbeat and breathing as she’s wrapped up in his warmth and scent. The way he strokes her and coos sweet words of love are addicting. It’s so hard for her to want to leave this warm little nest she found in his arms, her safety from a cold, lonely world.

It’s familiar too. Sometimes in that hazy state of half-sleep, Alice imagines tattoos on Jack’s chest and phantom scents that are so nostalgic and make her think of home. It’s not quite memories of Mary, but she also loved to be held by Joseph just like this a lifetime ago. The world wasn’t so big and scary when she was surrounded by love.

Jack subconsciously remembers these moments as well, the familiar fur and purring, the way his sunshine rubs her cheek against his chest to mark him with her scent on instinct, claiming him as hers. He is hers, and Alice is his. It’s a truth that had been blurred in his mind for so long, lost and distorted with all his other memories, but now it's oh so clear.

Jack knows that being with Alice is why he’s there. He knew her once - these moments were too familiar, too much like home for him to convince himself otherwise. He can’t remember when or where… but this is his sunshine, his amazing, beautiful, supernatural sunshine that makes him warm like no one else ever could.

Alice was so lonely without Jack, he knows that. Even with her family and other relations… he knows she must have been missing something, someone important. Fortunately, he’s here now, and he will never let anything separate them. Ever.

People like Ian and Shaun are seen as opportunistic annoyances that swooped in to fill in the space Jack left behind in his absence. Alice doesn’t need them now that Jack is here.

Her family… can they be trusted? Jack isn’t sure. Since they're cat shifters, surely they'll react the same way Shaun and Moon Pie did. Alice gave him a chance in spite of that instinct because what they have is special. These people... he has no idea.

Alice clearly loves her family, often speaking highly of them. For some strange reason, a part of Jack feels like that’s not true. Not that he thinks Alice is lying! He's sure she means every word, but... he can't quite shake this feeling that they're not good for her. Thoughts of his sunshine’s family were like dark clouds, dimming her beautiful light… yet, what he sees time and time again is the opposite. She lights up when she talks to them over the phone or when she tells him things about them. They sound so warm, like her, and she’s certain that they’ll like him too, even if they have to work around the supernatural roadblocks.

Even still, Jack can’t completely shake the creeping dread that her family is a threat, like they plan to steal her away. He can’t remember why, and he feels bad for thinking that way when they mean so much to her, but he needs to make sure that nothing will ever get between him and Alice.

That’s a bit of a heavy note, but this AU is going to have a happy fluffy ending to it despite the occasional bump in the road because I’m a sucker for happy endings with my OTP. It’s just that this universe has a bit of a winding path to get there. In the end though, Alice and Jack will be happy, and eventually have a few kittens who can turn into children that look like a mixture of the two of them.

Wow, this silly AU ramble went on longer than expected. I should probably start wrapping things up, so I'll be really quick when touching on Barbie and Coraline.

Barbie, being a cat shifter, is a lot more prone to teasing Bo. She doesn't have any negative instincts towards him, but she knows the stereotype and can't help but use it as an excuse to tease her virtual doggy boyfriend. She won’t have the nickname of “Puppy” in this universe, but instead it’ll be “Kitty.” Bo might have issues with cats, but Barbie is his one and only exception. How can he hate her when she’s so warm, and he needs her so badly?

Still, Bo can’t help but go even crazier over her antics in this world, especially since she just loves to tease him without mercy. Like a dog, he wants to chase his kitten around, pounce on her, and show her who the alpha really is. Somehow though, his pretty kitty always manages to get the drop on him, making him be the one to roll over and expose his belly in submission.

Barbie is a large cat - think Maine Coon large - a brown tabby with black stripes and white accents. She has that classic tabby cat look that you could find most anywhere, but her eyes are still dazzling shades of blue and brown that have her stand out from an ordinary cat.

Barbie, also, is a master of the kitty smirk. She uses her feline form as a means to escape interacting with people, and favors climbing to high places to lord over others. In her cat form, she has a collar she wears, and after she gets Bo she decides to clip his digital pet charm onto it so she can take him on wild adventures through the city. It’s a pretty jostling ride, but Bo prefers being shaken up by his kitty and having the world turn into a blur around them as she runs and jumps around rather than being left behind alone at her apartment. 

Coraline is the definition of a house cat due to her health problems. It hurts less to be a cat, strangely enough. Like Barbie, she’s also a brown and black tabby, but she has a lot of white patches along her face, head, belly, and “socks” on her feet. She also has a pretty pair of golden brown eyes.

Although cats instinctively recoil from ghosts, Coraline is still fascinated with them. The sensation she gets from haunted spaces is a rush that makes her addicted to learning more and more about them. When she meets Elias, she’s frozen in place with her instincts screaming in fear, yet at the same time she’s never felt more alive.

So, in a way, cat Coraline is much more of a thrill seeker in this universe, just when it comes to encountering the supernatural. While she might not be healthy enough to parkour around the city like her big sister Barbie, she’s still living quite the exciting life at a more moderate pace.

I think I’ll wrap things up there. Admittedly, there’s not too much different from the regular continuity overall, just some fine feline features have been tweaked here and there. Still, I had fun indulging in images of Jack cuddling kitty Alice and the interesting and unexpected dramatic shifts in the story that comes from what was otherwise a very silly AU. I hope you all enjoyed reading about me indulging in my love of kitties mixed with my OTPs!

[duchess-of-oldtown]

House of the Dragon, Season 2, Episode 3 thoughts

Just clarifying, these are my own thoughts, you don't like them, don't bother telling me so. Also, I'm not a book purist, I like adaptions taking putting their own spin on things - if it makes sense to do so. So, here were my thoughts. Obvs, this post is dark and full of spoilers.

I like the Bracken-Blackwood thing. I like the injection of a little bit of history but also like pettiness.

Jace, get out of your mother's ear. Can you even tell which one is Arryk or Erryk?

Rhaenys giving us slay as usual. Eve Best really gets the greatest lines.

I really like Criston Cole's squire. I don't know, he reminds me of Pod.

Criston pulling that managers face right there. We've all been on both sides of that.

Ironrod, they could never make me hate you. Master of Shade

Tyland stop bullying the Grand Master.

Harrenhal is giving all these guys a hard on. It's not even that nice a castle (before yall come for me, I know it's importance)

Aemond teasing Aegon at the Council, that younger sibling grin

Mysaria's gown looks so comfy. Her scenes are alright, better than before

Rhaenyra vs Mysaria has to get away from the whole Daemon thing. That vibe is still there and it gives me two exes sniping at one another.

I get Rhaena's annoyance but it's also an opportunity.

The Harrenhal scenes were perfect. The ambience, the setting it's all *chef kiss*.

I hate the whole Prince Consort vs King thing. For one, it's completely against etiquette and the rules but also in the book, Daemon never needed to be King, he was supporting his Queen.

There's Alys.

Daemon "I'm claiming harrenhal". Yes, girl we see

Simon I give you this castle, also dinner is on the table, it's not great but it's good" Strong, you were the best thing in this episide. " Also, this exchange feels written by George RR Martin.

Grover Tully is getting it tonight

Daemon defending an ill lord paramount's abilities, he's thinking of Viserys

Gwayne Hightower, you're giving me Harry Hardying had a baby with Alfie Allen vibes

Cole's hair... I don't know how to feel.

Alicole doing the whole courtly love shit, as if Cole wasn't on his knees that morning. She pegs him, Your Honour

I need whiter Kingsguard Cloaks.

If they fucking mansplain, ridicule or correct Rhaenyra one more time, I fucking Harrenhal them. Who the fuck are these men?

Rhaenys, eating as usual, mic drop

Rhaenys and Corlys, I know they're setting us up for what happens, but *mournful screaming*. She's standing on a little crate 😭 Corlys beefing with baby Joffrey. Corlys grabbing his lady's hips while talking about heirs is my new roman empire

Let me see Stormcloud and Tyraxes

I wanted a little more conflict with Baela and Rhaena. But Baela assuring her is top tier.

Joffrey with his mummy 😭😭😭 Jace too. It's the last time Rhaenyra will see Viserys.

Helaena's speech, I think I know what's about to happen there. The families of the rat catchers + that riot. Also Helaena isn't forgiving Alicent for Cole, she's forgiving her for the war

Aegon looks so lil in his armour.

DID THEY SAY THE ARMOUR WAS VALYRIAN STEEL? MOTHERFUCKERS

Kingslanders partying as only Kingslanders can

Ulf the White's scenes are good but Baelon the Brave? You want me to believe that Baelon the Brave cheated on Alyssa?

I did not need to see Aemond's dick. Aemond you should be out committing atrocities not getting it wet

FUCK HIM UP MOONDANCER, FUCK HIM UP

Also Baela the trees are flammable.

Daemon take Dark Sister out of there it's too damp for her

YOUNG RHAENYRA - this is how guest stars should appear, with no warning and with the actors swearing they aren't ever coming back.

Also, Alys is American?

Rhaenyra slaying in her Septa Unella cos play. I wonder whether that's the same wimple

I loved the Rhaenyra and Alicent exchange but it was still such a dumb idea. This exchange is heartbreaking, there are parts that feel sitcomy and I love it.

Rhaenyra's lil face when she thought Viserys changed his mind

Alicent's lil... "oh Aegon the Conqueror... '

Over all 9/10

[atiny-for-life]

Ateez's Full Storyline Explained - Part 21

Masterlist

Before we begin...

I'd like to shout out @xuseokgyu's gifset on the MATZ MV since I adore her analysis and I really do think it might just be the real-life message they meant to portray. It was also one of the contributing reasons for my initial belief that the unit MVs were unrelated to the storyline.

MATZ (A-World)

Initially, due to the announcement that this takes place in the A-World, I was going to propose the theory that this MV takes place prior to Fever Part 1 - a flashback to Hongjoong and Seonghwa performing as a rap duo before they met Yunho and the rest and became Ateez, but I just couldn't figure out how all the robed cult-like people fit into this narrative... and then it dawned on me:

Halazia.

We saw the bluebird at the end of Crazy Form and the shattered Cromer which means the Halazia-squad has been traveling between Worlds and may likely have ended up in the A-World along the way.

I'm not gonna lie: I first thought of this because of Hongjoong's fluffy hat which reminded me of the one he wore in Halazia but once I had it in my brain, I couldn't help but notice various other similarities.

The abandoned building?

Reminiscent of the abandoned mall we grew all too familiar with during that funky little livestream before the release of Halazia.

All the chains randomly hanging from the ceiling?

Reminiscent of the ones they were dragging around in Halazia to chain up the orb.

All the people in robes willingly following them around to commit random crimes like robbing a small store?

Their version of the Black Pirates, aka the robed folks we already saw in Halazia.

Bro, they even brought back the purple lighting and specifically made fun of me personally because I'm too dumb to figure out the meaning behind these numbers.

(I'm kidding, of course, but it really isn't my fault I'm a dumbass.)

All this to say: these two are neither Hongjoong and Seonghwa from Ateez, nor the Black Pirates we've come to know and love, but rather the two we've only met briefly during one of the sickest goddamn MVs I've ever seen while they were performing the most spiritually and spacially transcendent songs I've ever head like holy shit, Halazia still slaps so fucking hard, how did they even come up with this.

Anywho - with this in mind, we can watch the video again and gather hints as to what they're up to in the A-World (besides committing minor felonies here and there).

We begin as follows:

They've ordered one of their people to fasten a tracker to the underside of a black car prior to their arrival on the scene.

Several black-cloaked figures then enter the car and drive away before we cut to the title card.

Matz exit the building and get into the car which is now no longer occupied by at least the two people in the front seats which means there's a small timeskip where we don't know what happened with the car's occupants. I'll get back to this in a moment.

We now see Matz take the front seats right before they get black bags pulled over their heads from the people hidden in the backseat. Clearly, they're not very surprised by this. They knew it would happen. It's part of the plan.

They get chained up and stuffed in the back and taken to a secondary location. (Take note of the blue-and-earthtone palette we've last seen in Halazia.)

Keep in mind that this is a vehicle their own people are able to track. This tells me it's not just the creeps who are after Matz - Matz are also after these creeps. Now, who would Matz have beef with in the A-World, a world they've never been to before?

That's right: Henry Jo, the leader of Skienslavar, aka A-World's Z whose straight up evilness has led to the brainwashing and mass-murder of a huge amount of people in Z-World and, most likely, also their own world (which we saw go up in smoke in Halazia).

Matz are currently on a mission to take down A-World's Skiensalvar before they can do as much damage as they did back in their own world. And it's this mission that then also leads them, and likely also the rest of their members, to Z-World at the end of Crazy Form.

Henry Jo last saw Ateez at the museum when they were trying to steal the Cromer to save Yeosang in the Fever Epilogue Diary Entries - hell, he even tried to straight up stab Wooyoung to get his hands on that thing. Naturally, he then also wouldn't shy away from kidnapping any of them to get the current location of the Cromer out of them.

This explains why they're tied to a chair and surrounded by cultists from all angles.

Right after this shot, we get to see yet another group with black hoods march up into the same building. However, unlike the ankle-length robes of the cultists, they're dressed in black pants and hoodies, leaning more toward techwear

They're the Black Pirates who've been tracking the black car they tagged at the beginning of the MV and they're here to free their two kidnapped leaders

Specifically, the Black Pirates head out the moment Seonghwa makes eye contact with one of the cultist's camera lenses, which I can only assume means that this messed-up cult is livestreaming their kidnapping of two young men in their mid-twenties

Likely because they're hoping either of them will say something that will reaffirm the cult's beliefs and thus validate them in the eyes of whatever audience they're trying to reach

Right after this moment, Matz break the chains binding their wrists and jump up from their chairs

We can then see them perform in the same location with some of the other Black Pirates - thus also utilizing the livestreaming equipment that was already set up to, presumably, try to undo whatever harm the preachings of the cult may have done to the current viewership

After leaving the area, Matz seem to teleport out of the premises which is indicated by a negative frame, followed by some skipped frames to create a nice flowy movement out of frame to the right that feels unnatural but seamless

Right after, we get another transitional frame from Matz in the outfits they've been wearing all along to just Seonghwa in a more fancy gold and fur get up

Along the way, we also get to see Matz run through an empty parking garage while some of the other Black Pirates are slowly wandering through a little music store

They're simply looking at all the CDs in the shelves - something they've never seen before after they've been denied access to music their entire lives back in their world

And then Matz arrive and start tearing up the place

But why? I think it might just be in their character

When we saw them in Halazia, they were burning the Black Pirates' uniforms and now we see them tearing up a store selling the music they themselves use as a form of rebellion

Like I theorized back with Halazia: I think they might be struggling with the legacy left behind by the Black Pirates; they might feel angry and abandoned and are now pissed off that, in this world, people have shelves upon shelves full of music while they themselves were denied any form of expression for at least a significant chunk of their lives

And now, they had to come in from another world to stop the same fate from happening to them and the people there will never know how much they did for them

We already know how different Ateez are from their Z-World counterparts - due to them growing up in A-World, they're more calculated, less provocative, less extreme (Inception vs Thanxx, Guerrilla vs Crazy Form)

Halazia-World's Ateez thus seem to be an even more extreme version of Z-World's Ateez - more volatile, maybe even more aggressive, certainly less open to making new friends from what we've seen so far

This is certainly also highlighted when we listen to the newscaster reporting on a case of two men who mysteriously disappeared after committing arson

Those two little shits legit set a fire and teleported out of there to not get caught - y'all, after all that fire in Halazia, I legit think these dudes are just serial arsonists hiding behind the guise of a revolutionary cause

In conclusion: I'm fairly confident in my theory and I think we'll be seeing these crazy guys again very soon; be that with another single or the next Korean mini or full album (though I would also very much appreciate a Japanese comeback tied into the main storyline - they're always underappreciated with any group, it seems).

[shanie]

Because we need some goodness in our lives right now...

A fully drafted/written but not finalized scene of "A Great Big (Little) Hunk Of World" I have done that's meant to happen not in the next chapter, but the one after that.

AKA... The part where Kevin shows up.

(And Beef. He's there too.)

Chapter 8 – A New Friend

It was only two weeks after Generico moved in before he had his next show.

Generico had always thought wrestling was great. Ever since he was a little kid introduced to it by his Papá. They would go to the local arena and watch the luchadors, and then whenever possible, watch them on TV. Their TV was never the biggest, but it didn’t matter to Generico. He’d sit right in front of it, wanting to get as close as possible to the action.

When they would go to the arena, the luchadors always felt so far away. Also, the people in the arena would shout so loud, and sometimes it bothered him. But on TV, it felt like he could almost touch them.

And he wanted to. He dreamed of it.

He wanted to be right there with them, in the ring, grappling and flying. The crowd shouting, he’d always thought, wouldn’t be so bad if they were shouting for him, right?

He was right.

And every time he got to wrestle in front of the albeit much smaller crowds of Montreal, it was the biggest thrill. He wanted to give them the best show every night. They sounded so happy when he did his best, even if he didn’t win.

It was so nice of them, that they appreciated him trying. Some people in his life only cared about results. The manager in the kitchen he’d worked at never cared how hard he tried, only if he’d succeeded. But the fans at Le Skratch were different. As long as he tried his hardest, they cheered for him, and sometimes, when he tried REALLY hard, they would sing for him.

He loved it when they sang for him.

But… not all wrestling made him happy.

He hated when he had to fight Kevin.

He didn’t want to fight Kevin ever. Kevin was like the rain and Generico loved rain. Especially with his eyes. Generico could get lost in them. Stormy grey clouds with the most beautiful silver lining. And sometimes, when Kevin was quiet, his voice reminded Generico of a thunderstorm passing in the distance. Just rumbly enough to excite you but you knew you were safe because he wasn’t aimed at you.

But he never wanted to fight Kevin. Because when Kevin was angry, and the storm grew closer…

So, showing up at the arena and finding out that he’d been scheduled to wrestle a tag team match alongside Beef Wellington vs Kevin and SeXXXy Eddy, Generico felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. And chest. And his head was kind of dizzy, really he didn’t like fighting Kevin at all.

Maybe, though… Maybe if he could convince Kevin to swap out for someone else?

It was worth a shot. Or, at least, worth him trying.

Kevin was sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room everyone was waiting in before the show, drinking a Coca-Cola. It was surprising to Generico, most people in Montreal liked Pepsi. It made sense to Generico; he didn’t really like cola much, it made his mouth feel funny and his head a bit sleepy, but Pepsi to him was way better than Coke.

He drank so much Coke back in Mexico that he’d grown sick of it. It was one of the few ‘memories’ of home he wanted no part of. Coke was so easy to come by in Mexico, in a way that practically anything else wasn’t. Somedays, when it was really hot, Generico would dream of the cleanest, purest glass of water. Something that would cool him off and refresh him without making his head feel funny.

But no. If there was ever any fresh, clean water to spare, it went to his siblings. They needed it more than he did. He happily drank the warm sodas that the twins were able to steal for him from the corner store.

And, since the store always left a display of coke outside of the door, it was the easiest to steal.

He drank so much Coke in Tijuana. So, when he was given the choice, he would always choose Pepsi.

Because if Coke reminded him of everything he’d gone through in Tijuana, Pepsi represented everything he dreamed of in Montreal.

And that made it amazingly better.

But no, strangely, Kevin was drinking Coke.

Generico decided he would remember that for later, in case Kevin ever came over. Maybe he could have some cold for Kevin.

But that was for later. At that moment, he needed to find a way to convince Kevin to swap out for his match.

Carefully, like approaching a really beautiful stray tabby who you weren’t sure if it would scratch you or not, Generico walked up to Kevin.

Kevin’s eyes were on him immediately.

“What?” Kevin asked.

Ok, Generico thought. ‘What’. That means ‘qué’. I can do this…

“Kevin…” Generico began carefully, trying his hardest to remember his English, “Match.”

“Yeah, what about it?” Kevin returned, “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Generico frowned. That wasn’t…

“No,” Generico tried again, “Us. Match. No… match.”

Why was English so hard?

Also, why was Kevin getting so angry?

“What the fuck are you getting at?” Kevin demanded, rising to his feet to stare Generico down, “You’re already getting a match, and if you piss me off, it’s just gonna go worse for you.”

Kevin was getting even more angry and using more and more words that Generico didn’t understand.

It wasn’t working. But it HAD to.

“Kevin,” Generico tried one more time, “No match… Please.”

The thunderclouds in Kevin’s eyes flashed with lightning.

“Are you chicken-shitting out or something? Because it won’t make me hurt you any les—”

“WHOA!” A voice came from behind Generico and, as Generico turned, he saw Beef Wellington appear beside him… and then push in front of him, positioning himself between Generico and Kevin who was getting angrier every second.

“Whoa,” Beef said again, putting a hand against Generico’s chest. “Whoa. Hold on. Generico? Back off. Kevin, just… can we do the, uhh, reasonably decent thing and not get into a fistfight here? Maybe save it for the ring?”

The lightning didn’t stop glowing in Kevin’s eyes.

“Who the FUCK said I was decent?” Kevin barked back, “I’ll kick the shit out of BOTH of you in the alley out back if I feel like it! Hell, why don’t we—”

“STEEN!” A stern, demanding, and no-way-to-be-ignored voice boomed from across the room, “KNOCK IT OFF!!!”

Generico’s head jerked quickly towards the sound.

It was Manny.

There was a breath tangled up in Generico’s lungs as Manny strode over.

“All three of you,” He said to them, “Break whatever the hell you have going on here up. Beef, Generico,” Manny gestured to the other side of the room, “go over there and stay out of the way.”

Generico tensed up at the confusing English.

“Hey, Generico,” Manny said, turning to him, and switching to the simple, but always so much appreciated Spanish he would use for him, “Calm down. Sit. It’s good.”

Generico nodded. He understood that.

“And Steen?” he said, his voice much harsher than a moment earlier, “Calm down NOW. You’ll get your shot in the ring with Eddy.”

Generico watched as the cruelest smirk formed on Kevin’s face.

“Sure thing, boss,” Kevin sneered and, as he took a half step back, Generico could breathe again.

“Good,” Manny said. “Is everything good here?”

Generico wasn’t sure good was in the building. He didn’t understand a lot of the words everyone was saying, outside of the little bit of Spanish Manny had used, but there was a lot of anger in everyone's tones.

Well, mostly Kevin’s.

And that was bad enough for everyone combined.

Still, Beef was still standing at least partway between him and Kevin, so it wasn’t too bad.

The storm could still pass. For the moment.

“Yeah, I think we’re good here,” Beef said. “Everything’s fine, right Kevin?”

“Yeah,” Kevin replied darkly, “Everything’s great.”

“Shit,” Manny muttered, almost as though he didn’t believe what Kevin said which probably made sense. “Just don’t kill each other until you get out there alright?”

“Sure thing,” Kevin said and the funny feeling in Generico’s chest returned at Kevin’s words. They seemed far more believable.

“Right,” Manny said and, looking between the three of them, something weird came over his face and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah,” he muttered, before walking away, muttering several more things that Generico didn’t understand under his breath.

Manny didn’t seem very happy with them. Generico didn’t like it when Manny was angry.

But he liked it even less when Kevin was angry and, as Kevin stepped closer once more, he gave an angrier look and took an even angrier sip of soda… which a second later he spat back out onto Beef’s chest.

A twisted grin crossed Kevin’s face.

“I’ll see you two in the ring,” he said and, turning, picked up the steel chair he’d been sitting in, along with his gear bag, and pointedly moved it into the far corner of the room before sitting down once more.

Generico heart and face fell.

Kevin was so angry with him. All he’d wanted was to avoid a fight and he knew, he could just tell he’d made it so so much worse.

He began to sniffle.

Beef took one last look at Kevin before turning to face Generico.

“Hey, we’re ok,” He said, taking Generico’s shoulders, “We just…” Generico couldn’t keep from hiccuping in despair, “Jesus, will you just calm down? He’s always like that, here, sit down. Come. Seendatay. Relaxico, whatever. Just over here.”

Beef’s Spanish was much less, well, Spanish. But Generico understood enough and allowed himself to be led to a chair on the other side of the room.

“OK? No problaymo?” Beef asked, crouching in front of Generico. “Hey. Don’t cry. You’re upset? Kick his ass for it. Kick, Kick… uhh, violencia! That.” Generico couldn’t help but smile as Beef’s Not-Spanish shifted into Actual-Spanish “Very good violence, OK? Together. On Kevin. You comprehend?”

Generico’s chest was feeling funny.

None of the other wrestlers had ever tried to speak Spanish to him before. Nobody except Manny.

He didn’t even know any of them knew how.

But… The way Beef had stood between him and Kevin. Had tried to make it better. Had stood up for him.

Had gotten hit with the soda and didn’t even care because Beef was more interested in making sure HE was ok than worrying about how sticky his shirt would be later.

It was almost like…

“Beef...” Generico said softly as he felt his chest glow, “¿Friend?”

But Beef wasn’t paying attention. His focus was on Damian and Viking, the tag champs, who had just barged into the room making a commotion.

There was always something going on in IWS.

Beef rolled his eyes at the noise.

“Whatever,” he groaned, before returning his attention to Generico, “Just be ready ok? Umm… shit… You prepared for us. I think that’s it. Got it?”

Generico understood well enough.

“Yes,” he said in Spanish before adding in English, “Yes.”

“Great. See you out there.”

And with that, Beef stood up, grabbed his bag, and left the room. If Generico had to guess, Beef wanted to change in the bathroom. He always seemed so nervous when there was trouble going on.

Generico understood. More than he wanted to.

But, as Beef was leaving, Generico caught a glance at Kevin, still sitting across the room.

Sitting there and watching him... and looking…

Whatever it looked like was gone the instant their eyes met, with Kevin’s rolled up at the ceiling and another angry sip of soda taken as his attention shifted to Viking who was being loud in the corner (and that Generico was trying to ignore).

What that was, Generico didn’t understand.

Because so much was confusing about people. The way they felt, the way they acted, the things they said in whatever language that he didn’t understand.

But Generico could swear, somehow, almost impossibly, and only for a split second…

Kevin had been looking at him with concern.

[jinxhallows]

𝐔𝐧𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 .

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☾ -- ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴏғ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛs

prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven ((you are here)) |

━━━━━━━━ ᴍʏ ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏᴜs ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ -- @sikebishes ☾ -- ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ? ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀᴇ

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ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ s��ᴠᴇɴ | ᴡᴄ: 𝟺.𝟿ᴋ

━━━━━━━━

You look around the desolate amusement park, your eyes taking in the eerie scene. Some of the attractions are lit, but the lighting is flickering and fractured, giving off an almost death-defying vibe. The music playing throughout the park is off-putting, more terrifying than entertaining, with warbling tones that sound like the speakers are possessed by some otherworldly force. 

Jisung, however, seems unfazed by the eerie atmosphere as he excitedly hops onto a horse on the carousel, one of the few attractions that still has some signs of life left in it. Curiously, you press the large, green button on a small pedestal in front of the gate that was likely once filled with a line of kids and teens waiting for their chance to ride the classic merry-go-round in the middle of the "enchanted forest". 

With a creak and groan, the carousel slowly comes back to life, its metal parts scraping against each other as the platform begins to move. You hurry around the gate and take Jisung's hand, jumping onto the elephant in front of him. The carousel moves slowly, but it's moving, and the music, despite its scratchy and artifact-filled quality, isn't as bad as you expected.  

It's a stark contrast to the howls that still echo through the air, a constant reminder of Chan’s distress. You manage to convince yourself you will make it up to the poor hybrid tomorrow, you all just had to make it through the night.  You also wonder how Hyunjin and Felix were coping, but you and Jisung agreed to keep your distance on the other side of the park. You were supposed to have rode the whole thing out quietly in the car in the parking lot, but of course, Jisung had other plans. 

Jisung always has other plans. 

“How’s my little one doin’? Full Moon making her weird or anything?” 

You chuckle at his question and look back at him over your shoulder. 

"Her?" you say with amusement. "Chan did the same thing. You guys must really want another girl around, huh?"   

Jisung tries not to show how royally he had fucked up by saying that aloud and instead, lets out a nervous laugh that was a little too cheery, to hide his error.   

“Yeah well, you know, girls run the world, and all that.” He says, readjusting his grip on the pole that extended from his horse into the ceiling of the carousel.  “The world needs more women.”   

You rest your hand on your tummy as you close your eyes.  The elephant rises as the carousel spins.  In your mind, you can almost see you and your new family parading around Disneyland or something, doing these things together.   

Then, you open your eyes and realize, that’s not exactly realistic.  Felix and Hyunjin can’t even handle sunlight, and what father wants to try to keep up with a rambunctious toddler when he’s being drained every second he’s outdoors in the sun?   

You heave a heavy sigh, your brow furrowing with concern. The task of raising a child was already daunting, and now, in this alternative environment, you felt even more overwhelmed. 

"I wonder who our guide is going to be for this Abysmora journey," you mull aloud, your voice tinged with curiosity. 

"A friend of Minho who knows how to get to Abysmora? They won't be fun, that's for sure," Jisung retorts, his head lolling lazily against the support pole. 

You chuckle, intrigued by Jisung's apparent dislike for Minho. "What's your beef with him?" you ask playfully. 

“Who?” 

“Minho.” 

Jisung falls silent, his expression growing somber. The only sounds that reach your ears are the creaking of the carousel, the discombobulated music, and another piercing howl that echoes through the darkness, sending shivers down your spine. In the dim light, you can see the exhaustion etched on Jisung's face as he leans against the support pole. 

"My family spent generations trying to lock Demons up in Hell," Jisung says with a hint of bitterness in his voice. "But they kept multiplying and getting stronger, eventually overpowering and killing a ton of my ancestors." 

You listen attentively, realizing the weight of his heritage and the burden he carries. 

"That's when the lineage split into those who continued the mission to banish demons and those who honed in on their healing conjure," he continues. "I come from both sides, but I'm mostly a healer. I've learned ancient and powerful healing conjure and medicine from Yong Rae, which is why I always carry so many supplies with me. I need to be ready to brew something quickly with hard-to-find ingredients." 

You nod, impressed by his skills and determination. The sound of shuffling catches your attention, and you glance back to see Jisung checking the time on his phone. 

"1:32am," he says, tucking his phone back into his jacket. "Time flies when you're having fun, huh? Four and a half more hours until sunrise." 

“Jisung can I ask ya something stupid?” 

“I dunno, can you handle the answer?”   

You reach back to take a swing at him, but he dodges you with his signature laughter. 

“Why don’t you have a family of your own?  You hop bodies, but this one looks just fine, you just not that kinda guy?”    

Jisung's eyes glisten with a far-off look, as if you've asked him a question that probes deep into his soul. He seems to withdraw into himself for a moment, lost in his memories. 

"I had a wife when I was in my last body, and she passed away," he says, his voice barely above a whisper, fragile and soft, as if the weight of the memory is too heavy to bear. 

"I'm sorry, Jisung," you offer empathetically, feeling the weight of his sorrow. 

"Yeah," he waves his hand dismissively, as if trying to brush off the pain. "Cancer sucks and humans are fragile," he mutters bitterly. "She wouldn't let me cheat death for her, outright refused it, agh," he shakes his head, hissing through his teeth, frustration and grief etched on his features. "Yuna was too good for this world, that's all," he says with a mix of admiration and sadness, his emotions clear in his words. 

━━━━━━━━

“Brother?” 

Hyunjin's voice is barely a whisper, hoarse and weak, as his eyes flutter open. Felix's heart clenches with relief at the sight of his younger brother awake, but the flood of emotions hits him like a freight train.  

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry I let this happen.” The thought of Hyunjin in danger is enough to unravel him. 

"You knew about the lights?" Hyunjin's words are barely audible, his tired smile crooked as his eyes struggle to stay open. 

"Of course, I didn't--" Felix starts, but Hyunjin cuts him off with a fervent question. 

"Then how in the miraculous fuck do you think you’re the one to blame for this?" 

Felix laughs, but it's a bitter sound, filled with pain and anguish. He hugs his brother tightly in his lap, his chest heaving with sobs. It's been so long since he cried, not since you died, but now he's drained by UV, hungry and bloodthirsty, dodging knives from an unknown source, and he just witnessed his brother perform magick right before his eyes to save him. 

Hyunjin pushes himself up slowly, sitting upright. He pushes a strand of hair that has fallen out of his bun behind his ear, and places a firm hand on Felix's shoulder, trying to comfort him.   

"Whatever that was, throwing those knives, it wasn't human," Hyunjin explains, his voice strained. He's sore all over, as if he's been hit by a bus multiple times. 

"I couldn't find any trace of anything, anyone," Felix says.   

"Felix, this park...some dark things must've happened here," Hyunjin looks around at the dark closet they're locked within, the only place devoid of UV rays. "That's probably why you can't find anything about it. I have a feeling that regular people who come in here don't get to walk out in one piece."   

"Hostile spirits are a thing," Felix mutters, trying to make sense of the situation.   

"They are, and did you see how well-made and expensive those knives were? They weren't owned by some hobbyist, those were created for, and utilized by, a professional."   

Felix scoffs, overwhelmed by the magnitude of the situation. "Okay Hyunjin, so let's go with-- the throwing knives are haunted by the ring leader of this twisted fucking circus for 500-- that still doesn't explain how did you do that back there?" 

Hyunjin shakes his head slowly, his expression puzzled. "I wish I could tell you, I just-- I don't know, it just happened."   

Hyunjin reaches for his cigarette case, his movements shaky. He takes one out, lights it with his lighter, and inhales deeply, exhaling the smoke into the air above them in the cramped space.   

"But if we can find out why, it could help us with Abysmora," he says, his voice muffled by the smoke. 

"It could, but we don't know why, or how it happened. It could very well kill you if you do it too much. I don't know, I say we stick to our plan for now..." Felix waves his hand to disperse the smoke that's choking him, his senses heightened. 

"Well, you know what they say, when one makes plans, God laughs," Hyunjin says, taking another drag from his cigarette, the smoke swirling around them.   

"I thought there was no God, Hyunjin?" Felix raises an eyebrow, puzzled by his brother's statement. 

Hyunjin turns his free hand over, tracing the lines on his palm with a contemplative expression.   

"I'm not so sure about that anymore, brother.” 

━━━━━━━━

Chan's head spins with a whirlwind of chaos any time he involuntarily transforms. It's as if his thoughts are being ripped apart, leaving him unable to form cohesive ideas. The fear that grips him during these uncontrollable shifts is clear. He awakens from them with a sense of dread, not knowing who or what might have met their demise beside him. Even when he manages a controlled shift, his mind stays sparse, but at least he has some semblance of control.   

In his current form, he is a menacing creature, all onyx fur and forty-two sharp teeth. Drool spills from his lips, glistening in the dim light of the cage, as he trembles with predatory growls. His wrist snapped the shackles during the transformation, allowing one of his hands to slip free. Now, he stands on all fours, but three of his legs are still bound, restricting his movements. 

With primal determination, he tries to break free from the remaining chains, crunching the metal between his teeth with all his might. He yanks, he shakes, he snarls, but nothing seems to free his other three legs. Frustration and hunger pulse through him, mingling with the metallic scent of blood in the air.  He begins to experience his unique thought process once more, 

blood...  

hungry now...  

hungry now...  

smells 

His thoughts are disjointed and consumed by primal urges. 

blood...  

kill...  

hunt them...  

kill them...  

smells...  

hungry 

The hunger gnaws at him relentlessly, driving him to a frenzy. 

tired...  

angry...  

tired...  

kill...  

relief… 

His mind is a jumble of conflicting emotions, exhaustion and rage battling for dominance.   

At times, he becomes so lost in his thinking pattern that he forgets he's still chained. He instinctively stands up to move, only to be abruptly reminded of his confinement. The realization sends him into a fury, throwing his body against the bars of the cage, gnawing at his own legs in a futile attempt to break free. He knows his wounds will heal quickly, but the pain is a temporary distraction from the overwhelming sense of helplessness. 

heartbeats...    

one fast...  

two slow...  

three slow...  

metal...  

rust...  

pain… 

The sensations assault him, his senses heightened in his transformed state. 

hungry...  

pain...  

hungry...  

afraid...  

hungry...  

alone…  

The conflicting emotions war within him, a constant battle for control. 

alone...  

pain...  

afraid...  

heartbeats...  

one...  

two...  

alone… 

He counts the beats, feeling the weight of isolation pressing down on him, amplifying his pain and fear.   

A broken howl tears from his throat as he collapses onto the bottom of the cage, the sound echoing with despair. The cacophony of emotions and sensations resolve into one small, helpless whimper.   

alone...  

pain...  

….afraid...  

The overwhelming sense of isolation and suffering envelopes him whole.   

Despite the feral rage that consumes him, underneath it all is a sentient being, lost and tormented in the involuntary transformation. Chan's struggle with his inner demons and the primal instincts that drive him is a constant battle, a relentless cycle of chaos and suffering. 

━━━━━━━━

As you and Jisung leave the park, the moonlight casts shadows through the trees, creating an eerie atmosphere. The sound of the iron gate echoes in the quiet night as you close it behind you. Jisung twirls the keys to the truck on his finger, the metal O-ring glinting in the moonlight, catching them effortlessly in his palm with each rotation. 

"I know Chan and the others are going to be hungry," you say, climbing into the driver's seat and starting the engine. You both watch the screen as it loads, displaying the time - 3:58am.   

"Not too much longer," He says, tapping the screen to access the GPS. Once the route is loaded, you point to the destination.   

"Look, Greenbriar Hospital, 11 miles," you say, fastening your seatbelt. Jisung looks skeptical, voicing his concerns.   

"Have you been there before? What's security gonna be like? Have you thought this through?" he asks. 

You place your hand on the back of his headrest, giving him a reassuring half smile as you pull out of the parking space. "No, I haven't," you admit. 

As you arrive at the back of the hospital, you're struck by the massive size of the brick building, seemingly constructed in the 1800s. Several unattended back entrances are around and locked, but you both know you need to be cautious of the cameras since you don't have access to memory-wiping persuasion like your undead friends.  

The air is chilly, and you can feel the dampness in the air as you and Jisung make your way towards the furthest backdoor, keeping an eye out for any signs of security. The distant hum of the town is barely audible over the rustling of leaves and the faint sound of your footsteps on the pavement.   

"We could go to jail," Jisung whispers as you tug at the locked door. 

"We're about to go to a demonic graveyard, and you're worried about the fucking police? Blow me, Jisung, open the door, I don't know how to do it." You step back in frustration, unable to use brute strength to make any leeway.   

Jisung looks disapprovingly at you before sighing and taking a few steps forward. He taps twice on the metal door frame with two fingers, and you both hear the satisfying click of the lock unlocking.   

You grin with satisfaction, swinging the door open. "See? Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" 

He rolls his eyes and follows you into the hospital. The area you enter is quiet, with the whirr of generators and machines in utility rooms. The floors are an ugly ivory color, marred with scuff marks from the traffic this area must receive during peak hours.   

As you're about to turn the corner, Jisung grabs you by the elbow and holds a finger to his mouth, signaling you to be quiet. "Use your conjure," he whispers.  

Jisung is incredibly astute at hiding and stealth, and he has learned many tricks over the centuries. He wants you to learn for yourself how to navigate situations using your own conjure, as one day he won't be there to guide you, and even sooner, he won’t have any power of his own, and you'll need to help your daughter harness the conjure of the Han lineage.   

You go ahead with the spell he has taught you, and for the first time, you see a human-shaped glow around the corner in the room. It looks like someone is sitting at a desk, possibly writing. The glow disappears within seconds, and you return to your natural senses. You peek around the corner and notice a row of small, white lockers leading to two locked hospital doors, as indicated by the keypad and red light above them. 

"Hmm..." You stare at the lockers for a moment before hastily walking past the doors, hoping not to be seen.   

Jisung's eyes widen as he stands there. "What are you doing?!" he whispers fiercely, but he stops before passing the doorway, pressing his back against the wall. He looks up at the skies, hoping for an alternative way as he closes his eyes tightly.   

"Hey, who are you?" a male voice says, causing you to freeze as you rummage through a random locker. You stand up and turn around. 

"I-I'm just clocking out, grabbing my jacket," you manage to say. The man gives you a dubious look. 

"Really? These are our intern lockers, and you're not one of them, miss, so I’ll ask you again…who are you?" He starts to approach you, but then he suddenly goes into convulsions, frothing at the mouth and rolling his eyes before collapsing to the ground. 

Jisung is behind him, wiping blood from his nose with a sniff.   

You stare wide-eyed at the man on the ground. "Did you kill him?"   

Jisung kneels down and presses two fingers against the doctor's neck, checking for a pulse that no longer exists. "Shit," he curses. "I-I don't know what happened."   

"Jisung, is he DEAD?!" You whisper in panic, rushing over to him.  

The sterile hospital hallway closes in around you as you stand there, staring at the lifeless body of Dr. Marwin Thomas, Director of Internal Medicine. Dread claws at your insides, threatening to overwhelm you as you take in the gravity of the situation. You can hardly believe that you now have a dead doctor on your hands, and not just any doctor, but the director of internal medicine no less.   

Your heart pounds in your chest as you slowly rise to your feet, your eyes flicking to the sign outside his office that confirms his prestigious position. The weight of the situation settles heavily on your shoulders, and you feel like you're going to throw up. You stumble backward, tripping over your own feet, and land on the ground, grabbing the limp doctor by the wrists.   

"Hurry and grab his legs, hurry!" you urgently whisper to Jisung. He hurries over and helps you drag the body into the office before locking the door behind you. 

You pace back and forth, running your hands through your hair in agitation. Panic threatens to consume you as you mutter incoherently, "Oh god, Oh god, Oh god Jisung, what the fuck?"   

"I told you I didn't mean to kill him, and you freaking out about it isn't gonna bring him back," Jisung says, his fingers rubbing the jade necklace he’s wearing as a form of self-soothing technique. He tries to gather his own thoughts and not let the situation escalate any further.   

His conjure had gone haywire, and he finally realized that it was the Full Moon that made it unpredictable. He had used too much of his power, and now they are left with a dead body and a dire situation.   

"You were right, we should've waited, we should've just done something else, we--" you babble, barely able to keep your emotions in check. 

"Hold on, little witch, just give me a moment to think," Jisung says, holding his hand out to you as he looks down at the body on the floor. He is no stranger to murder, having done it before, but he rarely kills mortals unless it's a last resort. He knows you're not supposed to be there, so perhaps this is indeed a last resort, but... 

The director of internal medicine at a hospital?   

He drops to his knees and quickly pulls the doctor's arms out of the long, white lab coat. "Help me," he says, looking up at you before continuing his task. You take a deep breath, trying to let go of your anxiety, but it still gnaws at you.   

You hurriedly help him remove the jacket and watch in disbelief as he puts it on himself. He takes off the nametag and stashes it inside the desk.   

"You're not serious," you say incredulously, unable to comprehend the audacity of his plan. 

"As a heart attack," Jisung quips, grinning cheekily at you. "Get it? A heart attack, 'cause like, I'm a doctor--"   

"I'm gonna smack fire out of you if you don't come up with a fucking plan," you interrupt, your frustration boiling over. "We've gotten this far, and we killed someone. We can't just leave empty-handed."   

Kneeling down beside the lifeless body of the doctor, your mind immediately shifts into survival mode. You can't rely on Chan, Felix, or Hyunjin this time, and Jisung was fantastic when it came to matters of the supernatural, but he seemed a little behind on coming up with something for this one.  The doctor is dead, and there's no bringing him back. You need to think fast and get the blood you came for, and then get the fuck out of there.   

With urgency in your voice, you point to the lockers behind you, tilting your head to get a better look at the body. "Grab an intern jacket, he looks like he’ had a seizure, there’s no evidence we did anything," you command, your eyes locking onto Jisung. 

"And give me back that name tag."   

Jisung complies, but not without a teasing grin on his face. "You telling me what to do like this," he says, releasing the name tag into your grip, "It's kinda hot."   

You swing at him, a heat creeping up your cheeks from his unexpected flirtation. He chuckles and leaves the room with a laugh. You frown, watching the door close behind him, rubbing your warm cheeks to cool them down. He returns moments later, holding two jackets, tossing one at you.   

"Suit up," he says, coming over to help you put on the white jacket onto the doctor's body. You carefully replace the name tag, wiping off any fingerprints with an alcohol swab from the desk. 

Standing up, you pull on the lab coat, feeling a pang of sadness as you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. It makes you wonder what your life could have been like if you were born into a regular human family, pursuing normal human goals like becoming a doctor or a lawyer. 

"Paging Dr. Y/N, you look great, like always," Jisung interrupts your thoughts, "we've gotta get out of here before our luck runs out." He gives the doctor one last glance before leaving, and you follow behind him. He swipes the keycard over the keypad, and the doors unlock with a green light, automatically sliding open.   

You both walk down the hallway, realizing you've entered the kitchen and laundry area. At this early hour, there are only a few workers setting up breakfast in the kitchen. They don't pay much attention to you and Jisung in your lab coats, assuming you're just doctors going about your duties. Their preoccupation with their tasks works in your favor.   

"Do you know where you're going?" you whisper to Jisung as you both confidently stride into a busier area. There are labs and treatment rooms with patients inside, but its too early in the morning for anyone to be awoke, and the nurses and staff seem busy with their phones or reading.   

"No idea," Jisung whispers back, smiling at a passing nurse who glances up.   

She knits her brows in confusion, not recognizing him, but dismisses it. It's not her job to verify doctors anyway. You and Jisung appear to be just new interns or visiting doctors. You chuckle, nudging him with your shoulder.   

"Okay, Dr. Han, I see you," you say, amused.   

That's when you notice it - a sign on the wall with a big red droplet on it, reading    

Blood Bank, this way -->  

  You and Jisung halt in your tracks, exchanging wide-eyed glances as adrenaline courses through your veins. The stakes are high, and the urgency to retrieve the blood and escape can be felt. You can hear the faint buzz of the morning shift approaching, and you know you need to act swiftly.   

“It’s definitely down there,” you say, pointing to the end of the hallway where a dark room looms with its lights off, closed for the night. You take a deep breath, your senses heightened.   

“I can…I don’t know, I think, smell it?” You say, your senses honed to the task at hand.   

Jisung looks impressed. "Impressive," he replies with a determined nod. "Ready?" 

With a resolute nod, you both start down the hallway. Jisung snaps his fingers, and the camera positioned at the end of the hall sparks and fizzes with its burned-out machinery. He lifts his hand effortlessly, and the doors to the blood bank swing open. Without wasting a second, you and Jisung rush into the room and start opening the fridges, grabbing bags of blood with urgency.   

As you hold the A- and B+ bags in your hands, confusion crosses your face. "Uhh, does it matter what the type is?" you ask, unsure of the logistics in the heat of the moment.   

Jisung, who is already stuffing a cooler he grabbed from underneath the counter with handfuls of blood bags, looks at you with a determined expression. "No time to sort, they can figure that shit out themselves," he says, pointing to a smaller cooler. "Take the other one." You start stuffing the blood bags into the cooler until you can barely close the lid. You both meet in the center of the room, both coolers now full of precious blood.   

Jisung gives a satisfied sigh. “I think that went dashingly, don’t you, Dr. Y/N?”   

You chuckle, feeling a surge of exhilaration. “Why yes, Dr. Han, excellent work," you say, putting your fist out for a fist bump, which Jisung eagerly reciprocates. 

Suddenly, a muffled voice announces something over the speaker, and the blue lights start whirring as an alarm blares through the air. Without wasting a second, you and Jisung sprint out of the blood bank and down the hall, your hearts pounding in your chests.   

“This way, there’s an exit!” you shout, catching a glimpse of the sign. You both turn the corner, only to come face-to-face with a security guard walking towards you, talking on his walkie-talkie. He eyes you and Jisung, freezing in your tracks, the coolers of blood in your hands. 

“Kinda early for transport, isn’t it?” he asks, eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Emergency blood transfusions aren’t exactly a scheduled thing," you say, squinting to read his name tag, which reads "Bob." 

“But you wouldn’t know that, would you, Bob? Did you go to Harvard, Bob? What’s your PhD in, Bob? Was your major ‘getting in my fucking business?’ --”   

“Dr. Y/N, we need to hurry, quick," Jisung nudges you urgently, cutting off your hostility. He gives Bob a nod and smile and you both start walking slowly with a forced nonchalance until you turn the corner. Then you break into a sprint again, rushing towards the exit doors. The weight of the coolers filled with precious blood is a tangible reminder of the daring heist you just pulled off. You fling them open, and Jisung hops into the driver’s seat of the waiting truck, starting the engine and peeling away with a screech.   

You exchange an exhilarated glance with him.    

“That was so fucking cool, like, definitely the most badass thing I’ve ever done in my entire life,” you say, a grin spreading across your face as you look down at the nametag on your lab coat.   

Jisung laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. "The others won't believe it when we tell them," he says, his eyes shining with excitement. He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back in a confident gesture. 

As you step outside once you arrive at the abandoned amusement park, you both stop in your tracks, staring at the horizon where the sky is painted in a stunning orange hue. The first rays of the sunrise are peeking through, casting a warm glow over the landscape. 

"And look at that," Jisung points to the breathtaking sight. "It's sunrise." 

You feel a sense of awe as you take in the beauty of the moment. The adrenaline rush from your daring escapade mixes with the natural high of seeing the dawn of a new day and surviving the night, creating a surreal and unforgettable experience.   

You and Jisung stand there for a moment, basking in the beauty of the sunrise.   

"Yeah," you say, your voice filled with wonder. "It's incredible." 

━━━━━━━━

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ?

next part -> click here

[lazysailor]

Some stuff in Unsould I feel like talking about, these aren't in any particular order btw

Spoilers below for obvious reasons

How did society Unwind just decide to farm ostriches of all things? Like there's so many other animals but there like "Lets farm ostriches!".

Lev was a bit boring in this book in my opinion, I felt like Unwholly was like his time to shine but this book just ehh for his character.

I didn't really get that attached to any of the characters introduced at the reservation, most likely because I didn't read Unstrung before hand sooo. Una was a bit interesting tho.

Gotta love Argent for just making Nelson go on a whole road trip just for the sake of it, like ngl I would do that too if given the chance.

Reading the stork brigade chapters was so fun and interesting, probably because I'm making a time line out of that, but still. It's also interesting to see the different perspectives on Starkeys actions. Like Bam was basically supportive most of the time except towards the end when she found out about Starkeys lil baby making group and after the moon crater incident. And Hayden just didn't like Starkey at all which is honestly real if I was in his situation.

I forgot Risa existed for a bit towards the end because my mind was so focused on other stuff in the story, sorry to any Risa fans!

Loved Cyfi's return in this book and we get to see what his life has been since the end of Unwind!

Ngl I forgot Hannah and Didi existed and was surprised when they came back towards the end.

Speaking of Didi I loved that short scene were Connor and Didi played together. Probably one of the very few happy moments in this book.

Loved Cams idea of taking down the proactive citizenry, like he was able to trick Roberta to thinking he was just some spoiled celebrity so she wouldn't think that much of him.

I loved how almost everyone besides Grace (and maybe Lev idk tho) had beef with Cam. Like Connor just hated this guy and Una was holding him hostage, along with Sonia just having immediate beef with him.

I love Grace, she's probably one of the few relatable characters in this series I can relate too!

I don't know why but the five people hanged at the Moon Crater Harvest Camp reminded me of The Goldens from the first book in someway. Because they were both in an establishment that lots of people hate, got there lives taken away by people working for clappers, and we're killed in cruel ways. I just made that connection somehow lol.

I was kinda interested by the Sonia and Jason chapters (I don't feel like attempting to write there last name). Like through the whole book in each beginning part you just see Jasons life fall apart because people were using his idea (unwinding) in a negative way. I'm also really interested in seeing how the organ printer will come into play in the next book!

[heymickie]

𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺: hazbin hotel (actor au) 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀: hazbin hotel characters 🐭: wanted to put both parts together 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲-𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁/𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗱 ʚ🍓ɞ 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗲

Adam and Lucifer used to play in movies/shows a lot together.

Adam and Lute are actually best friends, and both are uncomfortable that their characters are being shipped together. Especially since Lute is actually an asexual lesbian.

Adam feels terrible about talking to Charlie and Lute the way he does. He apologized after each take.

Lucifer is actually Charlie’s big brother (big age gap), Lucifer is just playing older than what he is.

Lucifer and Alastor had a lot of tension on set, no one knows why, but they do not get along.

Alastor has a hard time smiling in each take and will take the longest breaks between scenes due to the pain (he isn’t known to smile a lot off camera).

Alastor loves his character because he is AroAce as well, and he doesn’t usually get cast as a villain.

Alastor likes to do anything to get Lucifer mad at him, frequently making him jealous because he and Charlie got really close.

Alastor has a lot of bloopers of him cussing (they decided to keep some for the show, but originally it wasn’t a part of his character).

Charlie and Vaggie are actually dating, but they like to tease fans by making them think Lute is also their girlfriend.

Both Charlie and Lucifer are nepo babies, Anthony teases Charlie about it lovingly.

Both Charlie and Anthony are child actors, they recently got done playing siblings in a show that they were on for the last 8-ish years.

Charlie messes up most of the scenes by giggling to the point it became apart from the character.

Vaggie is actually a dancer and decided to audition for Lute’s character, she was pleasantly surprised when given her role.

Anthony has a hard time being serious in the scenes where he has to make dirty jokes.

Anthony and Valentino are actually good friends.

Val feels so bad about his character and constantly breaking character to check on Anthony.

The Vees are all very close, Val and Vox are actually dating.

Val breaking Vox’s phone was unscripted.

When Val saw that fans were shipping his character with anyone, he posted on Hexigram (Instagram) that his character didn’t deserve ships.

“Friendly Reminder: The Val I play isn’t me. He is a prick and abusive, please don’t ship him with anyone. (But please ship me and Vox ooc 💕)”

Vox and Alastor are pretty close, but they fake beef online a lot (stupid shit like “quit eating my last poptart”).

Vel was asked for her role because Vox and Val had a hard time meshing with the last actress.

Husk doesn’t drink often, so he will either spit out his drinks or they will replace the drinks for water.

Husk is the most seasonal actor, when he messes up it's because the director pissed him off or to make the others feel better.

Husk is the one that suggested to Val and Anthony to talk and chill out to comfort each other before and after some particular hard scenes.

Most of Husk’s scenes are improv.

Cherri is an up-and-coming actress, she never expected her character to be staying but cried seeing she had a chance to be a regular in the season finale.

S.P. did his voice joking around, and the director loved it, so kept it in.

S.P. was given a stuffed eggboi from a fan and absolutely adores it! He keeps it put away safely.

In the scenes where you see Husk nope the fuck out (ex. when they are on the roof and Angel Dust gets thrown, and he just leaves) is all part of his improv/unscripted.

Husk is the oldest on the cast, Nifty is the youngest.

At first, Husk was worried that Anthony would be uncomfortable with his scenes with him because of the age difference. Anthony was fine with it.

“I like older guys, Kitten.” - Anthony (trying to show he was okay with it).

It took a while, but now Husk and Anthony are good friends and Anthony loves to flirt with him jokingly.

A few of his flirts were caught on film and used for the show.

Off set the two (Husk and Anthony) are not dating, but there are rumors.

“Do you think I’m Donatello LiCaprio?” - Husk to an Interviewer.

No one ships HuskerDust more than Val (Husk and Anthony adore their ship too, don’t worry).

Anthony and Charlie love to go to Karaoke after work, they drag the others when they can get away with it.

Nifty loves her character, she isn’t as feral when not working, so she really enjoys the free-range and chaos.

S.P. didn’t know his character was getting redeemed. He was told he was just going to get killed off.

Cherri kept accidentally slipping into her Aussie accent until Alastor talked the director into letting her keep it since most of the characters were already American.

Vaggie’s mom is also a dancer (a very famous one) and was asked to play Carmilla.

Vaggie and Carmilla’s duet was their favorite thing to shoot.

Vaggie and Charlie started dating sometime after episode 3.

Lucifer and Adam have had a PR relationship that turned real and back to PR. No one knows if they are together or not anymore.

Alastor has played in a movie with Charlie when she was little and played in two movies with Lucifer.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I’m ngl I just scrolled through your blog to look at your “controversial takes” posts to find those haters wait was it the Rin additional time one because bro the age gap might not be big but the maturity one is…like especially with Rin and how he acts too omg

Bro the itoshi sibling angst was never that deep im ngl i never thought it was super sad or anything either i mean it doesn’t help that i didn’t care much for them but when you think about it its just two brothers beefing like yeah it sucks because they once had a nice relationship but i mean id arguably say i think kaisers backstory is sadder than that and i don’t even care about kaiser either…idk there’s also something off about when they did get along im not really sure how to explain it but I don’t find anything special about it either so uh

NO FR im crying at the craziness in their profiles KIYORA AND THE TWINS AND THE ASS WASHING??? WHAT aikus had me SENDING like bro being like “i like drinking! Oh haha i mean I WILL love drinking…when im 20….and of age….nope never drank before hahahahaahahah” it’s so Aiku I’ve seen people going insane over the “finding playmates” response too and HES THE MIDDLE CHILD BETWEEN TWO SISTERS just like otoya i fr read that and lost my mind like what are their sisters doing and why aren’t they teaching them respect LMFAO kuronas is so cute wdym he’d bring his hedgehog with him as his only thing to a deserted island im crying also the saga of hioris celebrity crush had me losing it from “congrats to her marriage” to “she inspired my broken bone fetish” WHAT I fr can’t wait for more tabieitaken Barou crumbs though im surprised this is all out so early!!

Oh yeah me neither LMAOO like we don’t even see bro later idgaf I also can’t imagine him playing that important of a role the main story either I also feel like chigiris injury would only happen again in the World Cup or something not mid nel so…..

CRYING FR PNGLOCK agreed at least the pngs were drawn nicely for the most part but the animation and like the effects they added to try and make it look better had me laughing maybe they’ll sneak in more Karasu scenes in the u20 match at least we’ll have a couple moments of him facing against sae plus the Rin and Shidou carding thing LOL

LMAOO epinagi fr cooking with Karasu but we seriously need more panels of him in circulation because you’re so right

AHAHSG TAKE YOUR TIME LMAOOOO omg brief touching grass moment I know the feeling LOL

Also wait Karasu x WHO NOW?? SUKUNA???????? This reminds me of that era of Sukuna and hello kitty or Cinderella or something what the

- Karasu anon

LMAOAO PLS I POST SO MUCH that’s some dedication fr…although what else should i expect from resident goat karasu anon SDKLJF 😭 anyways i try not to vague post or get into drama or anything so i won’t say which post i was referencing in specific but considering how synced up we are let it suffice to say that if you found something silly during your scrolling that’s probably what i meant HAHAHAHA

OH MY GOD OKAY THANK YOU tbh angst in blue lock is so hit or miss for me like sometimes i’m just like okay was it really ever that deep…it’s not to devalue people irl who have experiences like that and have it impact them but like in fiction i’m just like ok??? i think the only backstories that have genuinely made me feel sad have been kaiser’s, lorenzo’s, and snuffy’s literally NO one else made me mega emo (reo and hiori get honorable mentions because i feel bad for them but it’s not ANGSTY to me yk?? idk maybe to me it’s not angst without death literally looming in the background SLDKJF perhaps that’s a mira problem) and yeah ofc part of it is that i’m not rlly an itoshi stan like that but kaiser is also a part of the core four opps and i found his backstory really sad so i truly do think it’s just a personal preference thing idk

KIYORA HAD ME GASPINGGGG lowkey he’s so funny i bet he was just saying all of that with such a straight face too…truly king of goofiness i have no choice but to support LMAOAOOA omg aiku’s had me cracking up he’s actually lowkey real this is just further proof that he would be a really fun bestie SDKLFJSD like he’s just chill with truly anything…nah because the bllk phenomenon of one older and one younger sister + absolute villainy MUST be studied!! actually wait i think kunigami disproves that because he’s nice but still 2/3 is not a great look 😭 KURONA AND HIS HEDGEHOG HAD ME CRYING PLS the way it was just called hedgehog number two the entire time…okay hold on when i read that hiori had a fetish for “fractured” girls i thought it was more of like an “i like girls who are traumatized and broken” in an #icanfixthem way not him actually being into broken bones HAHAH it’s insane either way though

yeah exactly that’s the one thing w epinagi being so far behind is that so many things lose their hype because we know how it ends…imagine how much more fun team tabieita vs team nagi would be if we didn’t know that nagi wins and they steal kiyora?? honestly i find myself enjoying the epinagi chapters more so i do sometimes wish that there was that element of surprise that bllk main manga can pull off…but anyways yeah agreed i would be surprised if they injure chigiri already ig anything’s possible but who knows

AHAHAHA PRAYINGGGG WE GET GOOD KARASU SCENES IN U20 however at least my nagi and barou sides will be fed well hehe anyways yeah the effects lowkey had me giggling ik everyone’s taking it seriously and crashing out but like i’m chilling it’s just not that deep it’s like reading the manga but i get to hear karasu’s fine ass voice instead of having to imagine it yk

BRO HOLD ON HERE’S THE LINK I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO SEE THIS 😓 i was literally so taken aback like where did this even come from??? the sukuna x cinderella (and in fact all of the disney x jjk) stuff was really random but at least disney princesses are like relevant to pop culture?? i’m so confused at how KARASU got involved SDKLFJSD idk who the og artist is either but it’s like VERY OBVIOUSLY karasu omg i wish i was there irl to see your reaction it’s just the most bizarre thing (but like i said…if that’s what the artist is into good for them ig)

HELP OKAY i finally finished i just need to proofread and then post!! i lowkey might fall asleep beforehand though so who knows if it’ll actually be posted soon or not we’ll see LMAOAOAO but anyways i will be freed at last ngl it’s kinda ass but oh well it is what it is