#this got so long
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Normal City spirit Danny except villain attacks are pretty much like horrific migraines or something for the poor dude. So basically he becomes Gotham's warning system. Like it takes a while for people to realize they've got their own mothman now except theirs is a white haired boy who looks like he's going through hell.
(At this rate, I should publish this lmaooo. A series of short events where Gotham Spirit City Danny watches over random Gothamites. It gets long 💀. Also, cw: kidnapping and physical violence towards a minor at the end)
Joel the gas station employee eyed the homeless looking teen that was across the store. Said teen was staring at a pack of yogurt covered pretzels, looking dazed as he just stared mindlessly.
Joel wanted to ask if he was actually alive, but decided not to, since this was Gotham and everyone was crazy.
He continued to count the coins in the tip jar, but out of the blue, he heard a voice.
“You should go to the back room.”
Joel looked up. “Sorry?”
The teen stared at him with bright blue eyes like glowing stars. In fact, he kind of looked like he belonged to the Waynes. But that wasn’t possible, because Joel didn’t recognize him at all.
Unless he was new? But surely not… Bruce Wayne usually gave some warning before. And this kid looked homeless.
“You should go to the back room,” the boy said again.
They stared at each other. Then Joel nodded stiffly and went. He wasn’t about to question the sudden order. Not in Gotham. But before he could leave entirely, the teen called out again, “I like your pin.”
Joel turned again slowly. “What?”
“I like your pin,” the boy said, pointing to the pin in Joel’s apron that said, ‘he/him motherfucker’ over a trans flag.
Joel blinked and then smiled. “Thanks!”
The boy gave a small smile back and waved a hand for him to shoo. Joel raised an eyebrow in exasperation but nodded and moved.
Just as he ducked behind the counter to move to the back room, there was a commotion and a sudden eruption of noise and gunshots nearby. It was clearly some sort of robbery, since there was a pretty successful bodega nearby that was run by an asshole. Several bullets hit the glass of the gas station window, striking exactly where Joel was standing just moments ago.
Joel’s jaw dropped.
When he looked back at the shelves, the kid was gone and so was the bag of pretzels. The perfect amount of pay was left on the counter. Extra tips included.
————
Lina stared at the boy who was sitting on the swing. However, he wasn’t swinging, just staring at the night sky.
When she looked up to see what he was looking at, she saw a surprisingly clear sky with sparkling stars. She watched in wonder for a moment before she looked away.
Lina wasn’t supposed to be outside right now, but her friend had told her that there was a cat that wandered around the playground at night. Lina had wanted to see it, so she snuck out. Now she kind of regretted it, being so cold while it was night. But since she was already out, she was determined to wait for the cat to come out.
“Mister,” Lina said, because her mom always told her to be polite, “Are you going to swing?”
The boy turned to her and then asked, “Want me to push you?”
Lina perked up and nodded. They switched places and the boy pushed her on the swing gently. He didn’t push her as high as he could’ve, but she didn’t mind. She was still waiting for the cat. Lina told the teen as such, and he smiled at her gently, freckles across his face glowing ever so slightly like stars whenever her flying shadow passed over his face.
“That’s nice, Lina. I’m sure it’ll come soon.”
And sure enough—
“Meow!”
“Kitty!” Lina called, and she jumped off the swing in her excitement. But before she could crash onto the ground, she was plucked from the air and gently deposited onto a flat surface. Lina turned to thank the boy, her heart pounding, but when she whirled around, he was gone.
She blinked. Where was he?
Something soft brushed against her legs and she looked down, where an orange tabby was rubbing against her ankles, mewing softly for attention.
She pet the cat for a little while. A feeling washed over her, like a gentle call from her mom to come home, and Lina said goodbye to the cat and turned back to the empty playground.
“Thank you, mister!” She called. She knew it was him who had brought the cat here. A feeling like fondness washed over her again and Lina skipped all the way back home. Her mom was still asleep and the TV was still playing, but things were good. Lina crawled into her mom’s arms and slept the entire night away, dreaming of cats and stars.
————
Elizabeth sighed as she tried to straighten her poor back. Ever since last year, her bones seemed to be feeling weaker and weaker by the day. She suddenly missed her husband, when he would’ve held her hand and they would’ve walked to wherever their hearts lead them together.
She clutched her cane and started moving again.
“Excuse me,” a voice called. “Do you need some help?”
She turned and stared at a young man. He looked scruffy and somewhat dubious, but Elizabeth had an excellent judge of character. In his eyes was a sort of kindness that she hadn’t seen in a long time.
She nodded. “Please. I’m trying to get to my doctor’s appointment.”
He tilted his head but reached out to steady her gently. Together, they walked slowly as he supported her. “Why not call for a taxi, ma’am?”
“It’s not dependable,” she said. “And I cannot get off or on easily. It’s easier to walk.”
That was a lie, but what could she do? She was too tired and too weak to call for a taxi and exit on and off of it by herself.
The young man nodded. “I see. Where’s your doctor appointment, ma’am?”
She pointed to the direction and together they walked. At first, it was pleasantly silent, but she eventually asked, “Tell me about yourself, son.”
The young man laughed lightly. “There’s not much to know. I’m just someone who’s trying to get by and help others.”
“That’s a good cause, sonny. This world could always use more kindness,” she patted his hand with her crooked fingers and he gave her a small and brilliant smile.
“I’m glad. I hope to make a difference every day.” She was focused on their feet as she tried to keep steady as to not inconvenience her helper. “Oh look,” he suddenly said, “we’re here.”
She looked up and true to his word, they were in front of the clinic she used for checkups. She blinked.
She was old, but surely she wasn’t old enough to hallucinate, was she? How on earth had they gotten here so fast?
She wasn’t able to question it as the young man led her inside. Elizabeth confirmed the appointment and she had expected him to leave once he had completed his task, but he stayed with her throughout. He sat down with her in the waiting room and they chatted about anything and everything under the sun.
Elizabeth had no children and no siblings. Her husband had died and her friends were also getting old. She was lonely, but this young man was accompanying her throughout the appointment and she felt endlessly grateful that Gotham City had not snuffed out another bright light just yet.
When she was called in, the young man still followed her inside and talked to her physician for her.
She was suddenly reminded of her father, who had died when she was 42. Her father had done everything he could to provide for her and her mother until he died from murder. She was starkly reminded of his protection and how she had mourned it when it was lost.
Elizabeth felt for the first time in a long time, like she was a young girl being protected by her father again.
When the appointment was over and Elizabeth was prescribed new medications, she was led outside by the young man again.
“Thank you so much, dear,” she said, a little teary eyed, “I appreciate the company and the help.”
The young man guided her to her apartment and said, “I’m just doing whatever I can as one person in this world. It’s the only thing I can do, y’know?”
They parted on good terms and it was only later as she sat in her home, that she realized that she had never asked for his name.
There was nothing to remember that kind young man by other than her waning memory and his act of kindness.
In her pocket, however, was a mysterious card for a free taxi service funded by Wayne Enterprises.
————
Tom and his friends were playing a game of heroes, with Red Hood as the hero and the other Bats as the villains. Tom was lucky enough to win the game of rock-paper-scissors and was Red Hood, valiant and brave with a pair of guns in order to protect Crime Alley.
“Alright, Batman!” Tom crowed. “This’s the end of the line for you!”
Maria, the only girl of the group, glared at him theatrically and flapped the ends of the jacket tied around her neck. “Red Hood, I’ll defeat you! For Justice!”
She waved her hand and their friends, who filled in the place of the other Bats, rushed at Tom with a war cry. Tom grinned and ran away from them with a loud laugh.
They passed through several alleys in their game of play, passing by no one but a boy with black hair and a girl with red hair. Tom didn’t really pay attention, just trying not to be tagged. But it didn’t matter, because no matter what, Red Hood was always able to get away and save the day!
Tom cheered as he pretended to shoot the Bats with his toy guns that he got for Christmas last year, and his friends all groaned and pretended to die dramatically. George, who was playing Red Robin, engaged in a fake battle with him as the others laughed and watched.
Tom was completely enthralled in their pretend play, when he suddenly froze with the sound of a car door being opened far too close and the sound of footsteps.
Oh no. Tom immediately grabbed at George and they were bolting down the streets they came from. They ran like their lives depended on it, because it quite literally did. But it was too late. Davis, one of the slower runners, was captured.
Tom turned and gasped at the sight of Davis struggling and kicking within the hold of a trafficker. “No! Get away from him!”
“Get the kids!” The man shouted as Davis screamed, and they all screamed as more men rushed into the alleys to grab them.
Tom screamed for Red Hood, Batman, anybody and popped off his fake guns. It did nothing but make loud sounds from the tiny amounts of gunpowder in it that Tom was saving. Still, he needed to do something. The sounds didn’t scare the men as they grabbed at him next.
Tom scratched and bit and struggled, but it was useless as he was hauled into the back of the van. Even as he knocked against the van’s door, making even louder noises to draw attention, it was hopeless as he was tossed inside. Jim, the smallest member of their group, was crying and Maria was knocked out, slumped next to a shuddering George. Alan and Davis were also captured and they were trembling.
There were also two other people, one with black hair and one with red hair. They seemed angry, and the teenage boy seemed especially cold while the young woman looked furious.
Tom glared at the traffickers. “You won’t get away with this! Red Hood is going to kill you!”
After all, Red Hood hated anyone who hurt kids. With him in Crime Alley, kids were now secure and safe under his protective wings.
Tom was immediately backhanded. He fell back, pain bursting from his cheek and he whimpered, tears in his eyes. Alan grabbed at him worriedly and pulled him away from the traffickers’ hands.
“Shut up, brat! Just wait and see! The Red Hood ain’t shit in these parts!” Then the door of the van closed. Tom and George lunged forward to bang on the door to no avail.
“Red Hood! Red Hood!! Help!”
As the van began to move, Tom choked back his tears. No, he couldn’t cry.
He was Red Hood for today. He was supposed to be brave.
Maria woke up then and started crying. The sound set off the other kids and Tom barely resisted crying too. Suddenly, the woman with red hair in the corner of the van opened up her arms. “Shh, shhh, come here.”
Realizing that there were adults in the situation, Jim and Maria went into her arms. She rubbed their heads and soothed them softly. Alan and George looked at her and the boy next to her with hope.
“Hey! Can’t you get us out?” George asked urgently.
The woman shook her head, but gave a small smile. “We’ll be okay. You just have to have hope.”
Tom bristled, scared for his life and irritated by the presence of other adults. His tears hadn’t fallen yet, but it was a very close thing. “So you don’t have anything? Figures.”
The boy spoke up, “Red Hood will come get you. You’ll be just fine.”
Tom looked down at the dirty floor of the van. How could he believe that now? He wanted to believe it, but what would he do if it was only false hope? If he and his friends got hurt, it would’ve been his fault because he was the one who led them too far away from home.
The boy gave a small smile, similar to the woman next to him. In fact, they were both weirdly comforting and familiar, like old family friends. He opened up his own arms and said, “Come here.”
Tom inched closer and leaned against him, as George and Alan also came closer. Davis squished himself between the two and all of them were being comforted by the two older people. Tom sniffed, and the teen started talking in a comforting tone, rubbing at his back.
“You’ll be okay. Close your eyes. When you wake up, Red Hood will be here to save you… that’s it. It’s alright, we’re here to protect you. Gotham City is on your side, little ones….”
When Tom snapped awake, he was shocked to find himself being held and carried by Red Hood. “Red Hood?!”
Tom startled, but the Red Hood just readjusted his grip and said, “Careful, kid. Your friends are over there.”
Tom leaned over Red Hood’s broad shoulders and looked for his friends. True to his words, they were next to Batman and the other Bats and Birds. Maria was being held by Batgirl and excitedly gesturing, while his other friends were chattering away to Batman, who was smiling.
Red Hood began to approach them.
“You did good,” Red Hood suddenly said. Tom looked up at him and the Red Hood tilted his helmet downwards at him. “You made a ruckus and got my attention. Good job.”
Tom looked guiltily down at his hands. “No… I was the one who led my friends too far… I got us captured.”
“It’s not your fault,” Red Hood said. “You’re not to blame because some sick ass— er, some sick jerks decided to take kids. You did good and that’s final.” He ruffled Tom’s hair.
Tom giggled and then nodded, chest warm. He couldn’t believe he was meeting his idol and was saved by him too! Then he asked, looking around for the woman with red hair and the other teen, “Where’re the other two?”
“Other two?” Red Hood asked curiously. “We only saw you six kids alone in the van.”
Tom paused for a moment and then shook his head. “Never mind. Musta been my imagination.”
Gotham City was a mysterious place. Who was Tom to question it?
However, he still silently thanked the two strangers. He was sure that they had been the ones to help them.
Some distance away, two spirits stood on the roof of a nearby building and watched the commotion.
“It’s a good thing we were able to find Jason in time, huh, Jazz?”
“Mhm. I’m glad those kids are going to be okay. Thank goodness the Bats responded in time.”
“Of course. With my protection and your help, we’ll help them save this city. So…. Meet up next week?”
“Yep! See you then, Danny!”
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#danny phantom x dc#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#ask#danny fenton#jazz fenton#anon ask#gotham city spirit danny au#jason todd#ty for the ask :3#this got so long#crime alley spirit jazz au#brief mention of cassandra cain and tim drake
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I kinda want a fic where Eddie is straight. Strong Ally, totally safe, but the guy is straight. There's a few months after they successfully take down Vecna that he and Robin and Steve are all besties, living in each others' pockets. During that time, he makes a lot of jokes that Steve is going to make a great housewife someday, makes some comments that aren't quite jokes that he wishes Steve was a girl, and has some very much suppressed thoughts that the only thing stopping them is that Eddie isn't attracted to men.
Near the end of the summer, before Steve is going to follow Robin to Sarah Lawrence, Steve comes out as bi to the whole group, and Eddie, for the first time, unashamedly thinks, damn, if only I wasn't straight. Steve even gets brave a few days before they leave and broaches the topic of Steve having a crush on Eddie. Keeps saying that he's not going to hit on Eddie, but wanted to take the chance, just in case Eddie had ever thought about it.
"Sorry, Steve, I only date girls."
And the awkwardness isn't the only reason the three drift apart, but it doesn't help. They send letters and post cards between Chicago and New York, and try to call at least once a month, but they're all broke, and long distance is expensive. Two years out, and Eddie knows something weird is happening with Steve and Robin, but they don't want to talk about it. They still talk, they're still friends, they'd still die for each other, but there is something they're hiding from him. Three and a half years out, and the bureaucrats finally got their act together. 'Thanks for not telling anybody' checks get sent to everyone in the know. Very large checks.
Robin graduates, and she and Stevie have a comfortable cushion. They don't have to take horrible minimum wage jobs anymore, and some expensive things they've been saving up to do for a while can finally happen.
This is where the fic in my head actually starts.
Eddie hears all about Los Angeles from Robin, but she tells him that Stevie isn't feeling great after the trip, and that Eddie will get a letter soon.
Its four months later, almost exactly four years since the three last saw each other in person when they finally meet again. Robin got a job in Chicago, and Eddie is still there, now a full artist in a tattoo parlor, playing gigs for fun with random friends. Stevie, of course, follows Robin, and Eddie tries hard not to stay upset with the guy for the weirdness and the sometimes silence, and the very obvious distance that Steve put between them recently.
Then they see each other. Meeting up at what has to be the queerest bar in the city, and it takes Eddie way, way too long to put together what's waiting at a booth along the wall. He's an ally, he's heard all the terms and types and nodded along in supportive silence because he doesn't get it, but he's trying.
But there's Robin, sitting on the outside, with a brunette beside her, possibly the most beautiful woman Eddie has ever seen, strong, tall, long wavy chestnut hair, and a spattering of very distinct moles. The little bit of a smile she has when Eddie first comes over melts into something small and scared as Eddie stares in shock. It's Stevie, it has to be, and Robin's exclusive use of what was once only a nickname suddenly makes more sense. He knows he needs to make sure he's using the right name, pronouns, whatever she wants. He's friend of a friend with a couple trans people, and again, he doesn't get it, but he listened, and he cannot fuck this up, because it's Stevie and this must be what they were hiding, but the inside of his brain sounds like an endless loop of mic feedback for a solid sixty seconds.
Sixty seconds is an insanely long time.
Before his brain turns over and he can smile and reach the table, Stevie has shrunk into the corner, and Robin looks ready to launch herself at Eddie's throat in her soulmate's defense.
A whole list of intrusive thoughts hit Eddie all at once while his mouth runs on autopilot, asking the right questions, smiling encouragingly, introducing himself to, yes, Stevie Harrington, and dragging the mood to a happy place by sheer force of will. Stevie starts to uncurl, smiles a little brighter, sits up straight, laughs properly at Eddie's dumb stories about terrible tattoos, and leans closer as the night goes on.
He fixes the weirdness he started in his shock, because there is no way in hell he's not going to keep two of his best friends now that they live in the same city again.
But his head is stuck spiraling around a snarl of horrible, selfish, invasive thoughts. The worst of which: Stevie is now Stevie because Eddie told her that he only liked girls. And he knows thats stupid and isn't why Stevie made this choice, and he hates himself for thinking it, but the thought is still there. That Eddie wanted so badly that she's now Stevie. Another, only slightly less horrible thought, is that the immediate fairytale ending he imagined on first sight - might be ruined because Eddie is still straight, and he's just not sure about, you know, the details.
Eddie did a great job that first night, and they're back to hanging out all the time as soon as the last boxes are unpacked. It is not Stevie's fault that seeing her in a sports bra for the once confirmed that the payouts, the LA trip, and her new shirt size were related. It's not her fault that Eddie can't stop thinking about how hot she is.
It's absolutely not her fault that Eddie starts getting weird around her. He's trying, okay? He's trying so hard. But its weird for him. He likes her. That part he's certain of. Loves her, almost definitely. He thinks she's gorgeous, high confidence on that part too. He has a crush, but he knows, deeper than the rest, that Stevie isn't confident in herself yet. She acts it most of the time, but its under the surface, a thread of fear that she's not girl enough to count.
And Eddie has a crush. And Eddie can't tell her. Because Eddie won't put them in a situation where Stevie's pants come off, and Eddie suddenly can't see her as the woman she is. It would hurt Stevie so bad, and Eddie would never forgive himself.
It's not like he can ask her just how much surgery she got in LA so he can prepare. And honestly, he's not sure it would matter one way or the other. He's terrified that whatever her choice, Eddie will fuck up his reaction. The risk is unsolvable. Robin calls him out on his crush two months later, and since the other choice is even worse, Eddie lies, and says she's wrong. No crush. Nope. Not even a tiny one.
Eddie tries to will himself into becoming bisexual for an entire month, going so far as making out with a very feminine twink at a club - he thought he'd ease his way into this - but he's still decidedly straight. Rubbing against the twink's remarkably small dick wasn't repulsive, but it didn't do anything for him either. Sure, he learns there's all kinds of pleasurable things to try that he didn't know about, but he's still not into anyone but girls.
(I don't know if this is the right resolution bc Ive spun Eddie pretty tight here, but this is getting so long. )
Robin's girlfriend has a party at a gay bar for her birthday. Obviously, Eddie and Stevie are invited, and obviously, just like every other day on this earth, Stevie looks incredible. She has a sparkly dress and tall boots and glitter on her collarbones and Eddie wants to lick her. His lovelorn staring only gets worse as the night goes on. Stevie is dancing, and Eddie is drinking at the bar with a collection of purses and carabiners of keys slung around and clipped to him. It's obvious enough that a gay couple - Nick and Chris - starts teasing him about it, telling him to man up and ask the pretty girl to dance already.
Eddie is too drunk for this, and he for sure has a guilt trip later for it, but he just starts talking. All of his fears and all of his love, and how he can't ever say anything because he's tried, and he's straight anyway, and he loves Stevie too much to hurt her like that. It's an entire miracle that Eddie broke down in front of a decent pair of human beings, and not some assholes. They sweep him off to a quieter corner outside, help him calm down as he smokes, and feed him some fries.
Eddie is still wearing purses like bandoliers, is snotty and red eyed, is on his third cigarette and fourth whiskey, and resisting the need to runaway forever when the older of the couple calls over someone named Angel. A woman who, if Eddie was not hopelessly in love with Stevie, would be the source of an immediate new crush. She's older than he is, thin through the waist, thick thighs, bottle blonde hair in a ponytail, and has a few inches on Eddie with her heels. The primal part of his brain wants to climb her like a tree.
'Hi Chris. Oh, honey, you having a rough night?" Angel has a few words with Chris, then grins like the cat who caught the canary.
'You're gonna be my good karma for the month, cutie. You are attracted to me, no don't try, thats a cute blush but I can still see it behind your hair, you are. You're straight, right? Yeah, that's why you think I'm hot. Hey, Chris? Do you think I'm hot?"
"Not at all, babe. You know I only go for men."
Angel turns back to Eddie and leans close to explain. 'Chris is a bit of a man whore. Loooooves dick. Don't worry, he says it all the time. Favorite thing in the world, and I've heard he's great at sucking dick. Tragically, I never get to find out, because I'm not a guy.' She pushes the word a little. Then she steps even closer so she's pressed against his side.
Arousal sweeps through him because in love with Stevie or not, Angel is hot as hell. 'Wanna go fool around in the bathroom?' she whispers
Eddie is definitely tempted, already nodding, but doesn't get to speak. Angel rolls her hips. He feels -- A new bolt of arousal shoots down his spine. 'this change your mind at all?' Her voice drops two octaves, and Eddie's brain breaks.
Because, as it turns out, no. No, it does not change his mind. He's half hard, he still wants to climb her, and he's not entirely sure how to get her off, but he takes direction well.
'Aww, figure yourself out, already, honey? Or do you want to test run this a bit more before you go for it?' Angel is back to her real voice, a high alto. She has one hand on his chest, and Eddie can hear Nick laughing nearby. 'I won't lie, I know I won't get to keep you, but you look like we could have a real fun time as I teach you. Happy to get you trained up for her'
Eddie shakes his head, an insane mix of bubbly and numb.
'Ohhh, so you're gonna go get your girl?' She's teasing him.
Eddie nods, already moving, vaguely aware of more laughter and jokes about karma and saving lost lambs, but too fixated to listen. He's still carrying all the purses. He's not entirely sure where Stevie is in the bar. He has absolutely no idea what he's going to say when he finds her. Still not sure how to worship her properly. Extremely interested in following directions on the topic.
Eddie is still straight, but luckily, the girl of his dreams is dancing inside, and the rest of the details don't matter in the face of the possibility of finally asking her out.
When he finally chases her down at a high top with a cosmo, she laughs at how he looks, but he's never, ever seen her smile like she does when she agrees to a date with him.
--
This is sort of about a friend as they worked through realizing they weren't attracted to their wife after she transitioned, but that was sad, and this needed to not be. I guess I'm just thinking about the non-fanfic nature of life. Where it takes a guy a long while to figure himself out, because good intentions are separate from shifting how you think. Basically wanted Eddie in a situation where he has to reconcile the difference between gender and anatomy, and rewrite his own definitions of what he is and isn't attracted to. Robin had to go through a similar thing as she became attracted to Steve but only in the abstract. They're too platonic for gender to stop their bond
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Honestly, it’s exhausting running a positivity blog. There is so much negativity on my posts. Sometimes aggressive, or people saying “this doesn’t apply to me” or “this doesn’t apply in this situation though”. And it’s tiring. It’s tiring to read through my activity feed. Sometimes I’m trying so hard to be positive and offer supportive words and the negativity hits me a lot harder when I’m in a depressive episode. I genuinely feel exhausted by a lot of the comments people leave.
I’m not saying this for sympathy or even to whine but I kind of want to talk about it because I don’t think most people do this intentionally and maybe there’s a chance that when they realize the negative effects their comments can have might think twice? It’s not just me that finds this draining. I see it everywhere.
Someone posts a video of their popular dog and there are comments “oh my god, I’m going to be so sad when the dog dies” and I’ve seen owners politely asking people not to leave comments like that because it’s upsetting to think about. But they’re endless. I get so heartbroken thinking about the day my dog dies, and I know it’s inevitable but if I had people reminding me on all my posts about my dog, I’d be so upset.
I’ll see someone share a video of a happy moment with their family and the comments are full of people talking about how “it must be nice. My family isn’t like that”. And your feelings are so valid. You deserve to be able to talk about it. I’m just asking that maybe you think about where you’re talking about it.
I make a post that says something like “be gentle with your past self” and there will be dozens of comments and asks I receive that say “no fuck that bitch.” Like you’re so allowed to feel that way, but it’s tiring to get asks about it.
I know there will be people who go on about “it’s a public platform. You sign up for this”. But whether that’s true or not, I still think it’s worth saying because it might open someone’s eyes.
There will also be people who say “if you can’t handle it, stay off the internet”. Me venting about it, or saying that it’s frustrating doesn’t mean I can’t handle it. It just means I’m coping by talking about my feelings. That’s all.
#April vents#this got so long#I’m having big feelings today#I have had 6 hours sleep in three days#and I’m in a depressive#so rip to me I guess#but my venting tag#is a great tag to block if you’ don’t want to see my complaining lol
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"Say you want me" For cam 👀
Hey~ It's been so long since I've done a prompt. Thought this prompt list was a good way to get back into it, Below the cut~ (Going to go with college Cam and MC here. This got kinda long...)
“Are you coming or not?" His voice is hushed, as he stares at you from the opposite side of a chain link fence.
You don't know why you followed him out tonight, you don't know why he's this drunk. You shared a beer and a half, now finding yourself running from a frat party.
He always gets, for lack of a better word, brave when he's had a drink.
"Cameron Clarke, get the fuck back here!"
The voice shakes you out of your thoughts as you hear the footsteps getting closer.
You panic slightly, finally climbing over the fence. When on the other side, your eyes meet that of Laron, social chair of Sigma Chi.
You feel your hand being gripped and pulled before your brain can catch up, your lungs burning as Cam leads you across the street making twists and turns around buildings, a few stray college kids having one last hurrah before the upcoming graduation.
You finally come to a halt, bending over to catch your breath. Your heart pounding hard in your chest.
Cam's laughter is just a reminder of the night, one of the last few before you start this next chapter of your lives.
Cam already secured an apartment for himself. Nestled in the city, not too far from your aunt's house. "Just in case she needs me."
You can't help but smile at the sentiment, knowing that's not the only reason Cam will be living in that area.
He finally stops laughing, sitting down on the cold concrete between the two buildings you find yourselves standing near.
"That was amazing. I've never seen you climb so fast. Not even when Auntie's dog tried to get your candy bar."
You shove him as you sit beside him, leaning your head back and closing your eyes, letting your heart calm down.
"What the hell did you do to get them so mad?" You turn to look at Cam, finding he is already looking at you.
His eyes widen, his cheeks red, must be from the running. At least that's what you tell yourself. He clears his throat, but scoots closer to you. Shoulder to shoulder, and hip to hip. His scent is one that's familiar and comforting.
You swallow hard, must be thirsty from the run. At least that's what you tell yourself.
Cam takes his phone and holds it close so you can see.
"What? It's just a picture of us from finals week."
"Look closer." He instructs, leaning closer into you if that is even possible.
You scan the photo. Cam and you stand outside the library looking as if you hadn't slept for a week. Which is quite possible considering how hard you studied for your last exams. Cam's arm wrapped around your shoulder his head leaning against yours smiling ear to ear. Yet you notice he wasn't looking at the camera, instead looking at you.
"Geez, right there look." Cam's voice interrupts your thoughts as you follow his finger to the corner of the photo.
You squint slightly but sure enough, it's Laron and...who is he kissing...wait...holy.
"No way!?" You say rearing back to turn to Cam, whose eyes were staring somewhere close to your lips. You don't miss the dimple on his cheek, the way his heterochromatic eyes look along the lines of your face.
"Yeah, Professor Flynn. I pulled my phone out and he saw it earlier, and said he was going to delete the photo. So I punched him and ran."
Your eyes widen looking to the phone and back to Cam. He was always protective of the photos he took. Didn't matter what the quality was or if it was good enough. To him, they were important, memories.
"You punched him?"
Cam smiled his eyes crinkled and nodded before leaning it on your shoulder. "I couldn't let him delete a part of us. I don't care who he's making out with. Maybe next time don't get in my photo."
A part of..us?
When you don't say anything Cam looks up at you, your face inches away from each other. His hand reaches to your cheek, wiping under your eye gently.
Subconsciously your eyes close, and you lean your face against his hand, against his warmth. His finger stalls, just long enough for you to notice.
To notice you leaning in, his breath warm against your face. Long enough for you to pull away if you want. Yet, you don't.
It's the alcohol. Your lips part slightly. He hesitates. looking over your face. Hesitates, just long enough.
But you barely drank. Your breath catches in your throat.
It's the alcohol. His lips press against yours, warm, and soft.
Lips that have told you the secrets of his life, the secrets he buries deep in his heart. Lips that have supported you every time, every step.
You grab his wrist, clinging to him. Returning the kiss tenfold. He moans a sweet sound. An alluring sound.
You don't stop as his tongue flicks against your own. Asking for permission. Asking for acceptance. And you grant it easily, as your back presses against the building. His hand slid to your hip, holding you tight.
He pulls away, and you force yourself to hold back a whine. Opening your eyes you look at him. His are heavy with want, with desire.
"Say you want me." It's quiet, meek in a way. You could hear his voice quiver when he said it.
You look at him, truly look at the man before you. "I.."
"Clarke!"
You both turn frozen, seeing Laron turning the corner and staring at you. Fuck, this is not going to be good.
It was the alcohol.
#love and leases#loveandleases#cam#asks#prompt list#this got so long#i got lost in cam x mc#upcoming if#twine interactive fiction
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i had to shower without music so naturally i spent the entire time thinking about what the datv companion/rook bathrooms would look like
i'm gonna add my thoughts under the cut but everything will be sfw, there's just going to be a lot of rambling cause i will be talking about every companion and my rook. also i haven't finished the game yet so some thoughts are definitely incomplete
now i don't know if the fade would generate bathrooms for each character or if this place that can seemingly produce anything would just plop down a communal bathhouse. but i like to think the caretaker would make sure each person has a personalized ensuite. i also think that these bath areas would change as you get farther along in that companion's quest, similar to how harding's room gets more and more plants in it as you do her quest.
like
harding, for example, would her shower start off as a waterfall cascading off of rocks. symbolizing her love and appreciation of her ancestors and then by the time you finish her quest would there be a massive leaf coming from the rock side causing the water to cascade down? similar to the giant flower coming from her ceiling, tying in her love of plants
or with davrin. at the start, would he just have a pond? of questionable water? cause those wardens are roughin it for sure. but then as he and assan find their turlum, the water clears and rock walls form so assan can jump into the water from different heights? giving both davirn and emmrich a heart attack cause we know manfred would want to give it a try
would neve have a small area with basically just a bowl of water, a bar of soap, and a cloth? essentially only giving herself a bird bath cause she has leads to follow up on.. but as she continues through her quest and knows she has people to count on and is not alone in the world so she, for lack of a better word, grants herself time to enjoy a relaxing moment bathing, so an actual bathtub with nice soaps and soft towels appear. it doesn't need to be elaborate, she still enjoys things that are practical and get the job done
bellara's could go one of two ways in my head; either her shower would be more akin to rain falling through the tree canopy. or would it start as a small waterfall feeding into a stream. not sure how it would improve on itself from there though. maybe the foresty area comes more and more to life maybe having a calmed relic or two
taash, i think taash's would start as something more qunari centered, but as they learn more about themselves !and especially if rook encourages them to embrace their riviani culture! it would turn into a desert oasis and is just their small patch of paradise to enjoy however they choose to
emmrich i think his would be a practical bathroom but with a flair. i honestly haven't finished his questline yet but i know he's secure with himself and knows what he likes. so of course it would have all his creature comforts, maybe even have a box or something that would warm up his robe for him
lucanis would have a rather grandiose bathroom. he is used to the finer things in life and has an appreciation for style. he would have all the latest items popular with antivans, but he would prefer a small flow of water coming from the ceiling. could you imagine how broody he'd be in the shower, and it would probably cold too so he doesn't fall asleep. but then as he and spite are able to work together, he feels more comfortable to sit in a warm bath, appreciating how relaxing it can be, especially with a good glass of wine, hopefully even spite enjoying it to whatever extend he's able too
now for rook. my main rook is crow!rook, named yaryna (goes by yary) hers would definitely be practical but still have her favorite items. she's knowledgeable about plants, she is a poisoner after all, so she'd have eucalyptus hanging from the walls, some aloe vera, maybe an orchid or two. just a decent amount of high humidity plants, a *mirrorless* vanity table where she keeps her skin/hair care and makeup. and as she progresses through the story, finding more confidence in herself, a mirror would appear. her area wouldn't necessarily turn better, but she'd appreciate what she has, what she has always had, seeing the importance in "average" things, just as she does with herself.
#megs rambles#this got so long#dragon age the veilguard#lace harding#davrin#assan the griffon#manfred the skeleton#neve gallus#bellara lutare#taash the dragon hunter#emmrich volkarin#lucanis dellamorte#spite dellamorte#rook#crow!rook#these little guys live in my head#rent free#dav
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I'd love to see a one piece fic where we just see exagerated versions of their dynamic in a modern way, and let me explain this with Zoro.
First we'd see how he was left by his parents at the dojo, orphan Zoro getting foster care by Kuina's father, but i don't see him actually seeing that man as a father figure.
Now lets also say Kuina didn't die at a young age and rather stayed with him until she had just started middle school. At this point, if Zoro now, can call her a best friend, if they spent this long together, I think he would see her as a sibling and they would call each other sis and baby bro (to annoy him).
Again, Kuina doesn't die, but lets say she moves out of the country to other relatives, leaving Zoro alone when he was about to start middle school. So he one day has the 'got lost and never came back' incident during his first year. But everyone at the dojo thought he ran away bc Kuina left. So they didn't bother to look for him.
Lost and alone he manages to run into Mihawk, in this world, world champion. He knows Mihawk so he, even if he was ashamed, decided to ask him for directions to the nearest dojo.
Mihawk, upon seeing wet cat Zoro, decides to take care of him, as he asked where his parents were and Zoro told him he was an orphan.
Mihawk takes him under his wing and goes trough with the adoption process. At first Zoro doesn't really care as long as he has a place to train and stay but soon starts to see them as his actual family. By this time Perona was already adopted by Mihawk and is also and older sister for him.
Drac enrolls Zoro in school and gives him the training. They make him go to all the fancy schools Perona also goes/went to, cuz they don't trust Zoro's judgment to choose one.
And this also includes his university.
He decides to follow the same as Mihawk and in this uni he meets all his friends from different majors and also gets into the masculine judo club.
He doesn't know, but it's the fanciest uni in the country and Kuina is also there.
She didn't know about him, until she say him when he went to look for Perona (which she shares a few classes with) and instantly recognised his green hair.
She couldn't lie about being kindda hurt when she heard him call Perona older sis, but went on with life without saying anything.
Zoro took way longer to notice, bc it was Tashigi who pointed her out to him, when she was talking about this really tall girl she admires named Kuina and he was flabergasted.
Their encounter was emotional and awkward, but they decided to have a sparing session to test each other.
They used the unis campus for this, at night, and Kuina told him that she thought she was ready to challenge Mihawk and Zoro told her she still was no match for his old man, and Kuina went YOUR???
#one piece#one piece zoro#kuina one piece#perona headcanons#modern au#modern one piece#modern life one piece#zoro headcanons#i have no clue ab the usa education system#pls ignore typos english is not my native language#dracule mihawk headcanons#dad mihawk#goth family#goth siblings#mihawk is rich rich#this got so long
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think about katsuki and izuku, how they view each other as symbols of victory, how they chase after the other relentlessly, how they mimic each other when they truly, truly want something.
but don’t think about how much katsuki hated that he could never be as kind as izuku. how he could never smile as softly, or reach out a hand as easily, or even give reassurance the way izuku did. he’d never measure up to how amazing izuku was, even when katsuki hurt him over and over. no, don’t think about how katsuki hated himself for so many years, all while loving izuku.
don’t think about all those nights izuku would stay awake, wondering if katsuki would ever be nice to him. if maybe izuku were kinder, the world would be, too. if maybe he had a quirk, he’d be loved, things would be different. maybe he could finally stand side by side with katsuki—maybe he’d receive the love he gave, without coming home with another burned notebook.
no, don’t think about how katsuki spent all of those years going broke, all those years eating cheap food and living in an apartment paid off in his eyes because he was able to put that spark back in izuku’s eyes.
don’t think about how izuku would stare at the TV in the teacher’s lounge, watching as all of his friends got to be something, thinking he may never be on par like he was with them back when he was a child.
no, don’t even dare to think about how izuku’s eyes lit up and how he cried, because katsuki spent 8 long years saving up and putting every cent into a suit for him. don’t think about how izuku no longer felt so utterly helpless just because he was quirkless—because he could be something with or without a quirk. because he could be a hero, and he got to prove that.
#oh my days#this got so long#srry i miss them#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#my hero academia#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou
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It’s not true that Feyre’s trauma only shows up in the spring court or that it disappears in the night court. Just as she only once when surprised freaks out at the red of Lucien’s hair, she only sometimes is triggered in the NC. The first time she and Rhys fly after she leaves the spring court, she panics when she feels caged by his wings and Rhys has to back off. Mor doesn’t wear red for a bit to not trigger her. Then there’s the whole Prison plot where she can’t handle the Prison the first time because of her trauma and even when she eventually goes in, she’s freaking out.
Her trauma gets better with time even though she is still struggling on acowar and obviously it’s not every second or she wouldn’t have spent so much time with Lucien and been fine with his red hair all times except once when surprised
Thanks for the anon! You bring up some good points, but I still have to complain haha.
My issue is that she is not just triggered at Lucien's red hair. She is also triggered by red paint and red rose petals....and then never again. Red carpet at Rhys' just a few pages after she gets 'saved' from the spring court? Whatever. Cassian's red syphons? Nothing. That's bad writing, in my opinion. Either the dang color red reminds her of blood and triggers her, or it doesn't, but how it is almost immediately forgotten - that's just inconsistent (it would be definitely much more meaningful, if it slowly improved). Honestly I don't really remember her having any hangups in Acowar at all. And neither has Rhys. He gets like what, one nightmare and one sex position hangup? I was really disappointed that it just....went over so quickly. Maybe that's why I latch onto Tamlin? At least his issues aren't gone after a book. They even get worse as he doesn't seek help. It's just more compelling to me.
My biggest beef in this regard is that Feyre gets triggered getting locked in, but the first time she gets taken by Rhysand and HE locks her in a room, she's totally fine, despite being actually low key scared of him at that point still and him not taking her home despite her asking him to. It just makes no sense, even with the added wing scene (which I did not remember, so thanks for that). I get that in the Tamlin version she is hysterical (for lack of better term) so it ends in a panic attack, but still.
There's also the part of how she has all these freak outs in the spring court while she is totally able to just literally re-enact her UTM experience in hewn city. Did that not bother you? Yes Rhys calms her and shit, but I couldn't help but eyeroll at that.
In the end I think it's just very manipulative writing to prime you on Rhys good, Tam bad. Spring Court lame, Night Court awesome. When SJM wants something to happen in the plot, it will happen, no matter if it makes sense. Be it the Tamlin-Rhys switcheroo, the UTM sexy scene, the pregnancy plotline, what have you. It's why every new book retcons something from the previous ones.
Personally, I can float with that and accept the silliness of it all quite well. But in consequence it also means I do not take the trauma plot as serious as some and I really do not care whether or not Tamlin is abusive and so on....
#this got so long#shit Im sorry#why do i have so many acomaf feels? idk man this book hurt me#tbh i kinda hate how feyre was a very pro-active character in book 1#who rescues her man and so on#and then just turns into a victim who needs to be saved by her new man#im glad if people can take something from it but i cant#and its not even because i like tamlin cause i did not super care for him until acowar#thrum replies#sorry this is an incoherent ramble. its late here and i should sleep#tl:dr for me these books are fum and engaging but they aren't /good/#so if u are really impressed by them i might not be the right person to speak to
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Love too Big for a Love Song (I'll be writing about you for the rest of my life)
Today is the day! Julie and Luke are getting married in the Molina’s backyard. Luke proposed several months ago on the stage at Madison Square Garden in front of thousands of fans and their family and friends on a live video feed. Those same friends and family will be there to share in the celebration and maybe have a surprise or two of their own.
#julie and the phantoms#jatp#juke#with a side of willex and rarrie#FTtF universe#my 50th jatp fic#juke gets married#this got so long#excited to share
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i think sam and dean’s relationship with sex in the early seasons is so interesting because it’s so vastly different yet both indicative of abuse.
dean sees his body as an object; a weapon, a tool. he has no say in his own life. he thinks he’s just alive to serve his purpose. he buzzes his hair military short and dresses just like his father to gain his approval, while john always treated dean as a means to an end. he was told to take care of sammy, and dragged along to hunts, and given orders like he was nothing but a robot. if sam got hurt, it was his fault. if he got hurt, he wasn’t fast enough. he’s taught to put himself in harms way constantly, that his body is worth nothing, that a few more scars mean nothing if he obeys his order. daddy’s blunt little instrument indeed.
dean is comfortable in his own body because he doesn’t place value on his own life. it’s why he’s so nonchalant about sex. he’s using his body to make himself feel good, and make others feel good, so he doesn’t see the problem. sam teases him about being a horndog but dean genuinely doesn’t care about what happens to him. it’s not just with sex. he constantly sacrifices himself, he’ll put himself in harms way instantly if it means saving someone he loves. he complains about his physical appearance but never once hesitates to disfigure it if it means someone else will be saved the misfortune.
sam, on the other hand, has a different understanding of his body. he doesn’t fit inside of it. his entire life, he’s been the odd one out, the wrong one, the one who just couldn’t conform. he fights with his father about hunting. he has demon blood in him. he’s lucifer’s vessel. he’s an abomination, he’s damned, his very flesh and blood is something rotten. he doesn’t see any purpose in his existence so he tries to find value in his body, because he doesn’t think there’s anything of value in his soul.
this isn’t even mentioning sam’s past with manipulation. both dean and john most definitely manipulated sam in the past, even if it was from a place of good will to keep him safe. john lied about mary’s deal his entire life. dean keeps plenty of secrets, like the demon deal and john’s last words, under the guise that it would hurt sam. sam’s entire life was a lie, all a buildup to the apocalypse. the first woman he ever loved died on the ceiling just like his mother, and he was convinced it was his fault both times. sam has been taught that he hurts everyone he loves. that’s he’s intrinsically dangerous and he curses the people close to him to suffering, or death, or worse.
sam has a difficult relationship with sex because he’s scared. scared to trust someone with something so intimate and scared that he’ll infect them with whatever awful thing is inside of him. this is why ruby’s arc is so heartbreaking. dean can immediately recognize that sam is being taken advantage of. he has a very black and white understanding of who is good and trustworthy vs who is evil and a monster. sam, on the other hand, knows that it isn’t so cut and dry. he still loves dean, even though he isn’t always the best to him. he still cares for his dad, even if he wants sam dead. he still wants to believe in a higher power, even though he’s cursed. so of course sam trusted ruby. he’s an abuse victim. he’s vulnerable. he was at his wits end, and ruby took that to her advantage. she victim blamed him. gaslit him. took advantage of his need for emotional intimacy and sexually assaulted him.
dean can’t understand sam’s aversion to sex because he sees it as a purely materialistic thing, and his body a mere object. his relationship with romance is so horribly warped. dean doesn’t care about being taken advantage of, because his whole life his father’s taken advantage of his obedience. he’s just a means to end. it doesn’t matter what happens to his body, because he doesn’t matter anyway.
sam can’t understand dean’s hypersexuality because he’s hyperfixated on having control of himself. he desperately wants to regain some sense of ownership of his body. he hates intimacy because it opens him up to vulnerability. to him, his body is diseased, and it’s a danger to anyone who he’s intimate with.
dean sees sex as self-hating pleasure, a way to be useful. sam sees sex as self-hating punishment. in a certain way, they’re more similar than the show makes them out to be.
#oc#sam winchester#dean winchester#john winchester#spn meta#spn#supernatural#essay#tw sa mention#this got so long#it was originally just about sam’s aversion to sex but i think dean’s obsession with it is just as telling.#part of it was the way they grew up#dean was forced to be strong and take it like a man#sam was allowed to be vulnerable but was constantly shamed for being diferent#idk. idk man. just more deranged ramblings.
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FFXIV Write 2024 | header | wc: 1,376 | cw: elliot's bad parenting | i kidnapped @houseshadowstar for this
If nothing else, Elena did look cute. Even as she pouted and complained that she was hungry, and even when Elliot had to remove her rings after they'd caught in her lace collar for the second time, she didn't entirely look like a four year old child set on establishing Elliot’s unmitigated doom. That was a good start.
As he herded her towards the door of his chambers, he realized that navigating through the cathedral and to the carriage was going to be impossible. He refused to hold her hand. Their heights were simply incompatible: he would have to lean to the side as he walked just to match her, and part of him would rather never go out again than be seen like that. Carrying her was more impossible. In the end, Elliot settled on the assistance of an iris. With the end of the stem in his hand and the flower in hers, he bridged the gap.
They made it to the carriage without further issue. The ostiary even complimented Elena's hairpiece—not that she noticed—while they trundled down the snow-lined path. Her deadweight didn't help him lift her into the cab, and her seat right at the window didn't help him join her, but Elliot comforted himself in thinking that the Shadowstar residence was not far.
"Their names are Ceridwen and Sirus," Elliot coached her.
Elena pushed her cheek into the window and said, "Mm."
The iris didn't work once they reached the stairs ascending to the front doors. Elliot took her hand to balance and encourage her through each tall step, inwardly noting the committed scrunch of her face as something to tell Nolanel.
Since there was no guard to admit them, Elliot let Elena press the doorbell.
Ceridwen answered just as Elena began scraping her new shoes against the stoop.
"Elliot! I'm so glad we could have you. Sirus is inside; I have him tending my chocolate to watch for bubbles. I hope the two of you have the time to wait for it to set?" Ceridwen took both of Elliot’s hands fondly and squeezed them.
"I hope so," he returned, looking pleadingly at Elena.
Ceridwen shifted her attention to the girl too. "Miss Elena, have you had pan au chocolate afore?"
She thought about it. "Can I have one?"
"They'll be finished soon," Ceridwen promised.
Elliot inched forward. "I apologize for being so direct, but do you have any refreshments immediately available?"
"I'm hungry," interjected Elena.
"Oh, good!" said Ceridwen.
Elena turned her head toward the left wall. "It doesn't feel good."
"We have plenty to fix that—we just have to join my brother." Ceridwen turned slowly to lead the ungainly pair into the estate.
Her massive tulle skirt rippled as she walked, flowing around the legs of side tables and undulating through open doorways.
Elena pursued the rustling sound as they walked. In under ten seconds, her walk became a run, and the run into a complete forward tumble.
"No no no—Don't—Ugh!" Elliot wailed, reaching for her.
She didn't care. The tiny girl hugged the plush fabric, no worse for wear, and giggled as she stood with iron fists of fluff.
Ceridwen laughed with her, then knelt to to inquire if she were truly fine.
"It's not fine at all!" Elliot started, his voice rising in its pique. "She can be so inconsiderate of people. Clothes are as much of a person as all of their property. She's mistaken a lady's dress skirts for the curtains once, and tried to hide among them—I still have not lived it down."
Three things happened. Ceridwen ignored Elliot, offered her hand to Elena, and waited for the girl to bore herself when help was refused.
Elliot watched those three things from another world. It surprised him how much he hated them. If he were a different man, he would have patience, acceptance, and humor. He knew he had those things—for others. For the girl who was suddenly in his life until he died, and who he did not want there, he had none.
But she was just a child in a new place-—and it was no fault of hers that she didn't trust him. He didn't want to be near her—-she was mercurial and weird and loud—and he had work to do that couldn't include a blind urchin.
They were stuck with each other whether they liked it or not when Nolanel left. He couldn't just tell her that she'd been abandoned so Nolanel could return to war. He couldn't be her father, either, although he had no good reason for that.
He and Elena were acquaintances living together, even if she had no appreciation for poetry and he did not share her fondness for ripping paper into tiny strips. Sometimes he was convinced that she calculated her day according to what would annoy him most.
But if he wanted Elena to behave politely, then he must be polite first. His voice lowered. "Thank you for being so kind. I don't know what I'm doing."
Ceridwen frowned pityingly, but in a way that showed she disapproved. "Do you not recall a whit of Vhene's upbringing when she was so young? Children are not angels, no matter how we paint cherubs."
"Of course I do," he insisted, "but Vhene had Norhi and all the force of the Bellworks behind her upbringing. 'Twas a bit strange, but she still had an entire party of adults to tell her not to climb up the kitchen cabinets."
"I'm sure they were only successful in deterring her half the time."
"That's true," Elliot grumbled.
Ceridwen rose to her feet and allowed the child to hold onto her skirt at they continued. "But Elena has you, your father, and all the rest—she shan't beat the table in a drum march because her food hasn't arrived timely enough. You won't let her."
Elliot impatiently nodded. "Yes, but heaven knows what else she keeps for dinner manners when she's excited. She probably had wolves for parents afore she had Nolanel. He's hardly any better."
Ceridwen looked blandly over at him and centered the charm on her necklace. "I doubt you. Ser Feran is as polite as a knight comes. It's true he intuits nothing in the language of gossip, but at one request he is the most accommodating creature I've ever met in a ballroom."
"That's because he's frightened out of his wits and desperate for guidance. Once he's comfortable and knows you enough, he forgets what it is to compromise."
Sirus whistled a falling note from the kitchen. "Damn," he cringed, appearing in the doorway. "Dwen was correct when she said this intervention would be for you more than the kid."
Elena followed Ceridwen past him into the kitchen. It was a massive, organized, efficient affair of countertops and containers. Elliot remained outside while Ceridwen swept around the island and poured a ramekin full of assorted berries. She handed it to Elena.
Elliot leaned against the opposite side of the doorframe and wagged a hand at Sirus. He wanted to talk of anything—even for a moment—that wasn't children. "Sirus. Have you patronized The Brume Closet recently? I heard there is a mistress proprietor now. When did ownership change hands?"
Sirus pressed deeper into his share of doorframe casually. "Oh, it's not so much of a change. I mean, some change, but just from an old name to a new one."
"Oh, very good," he replied, though he sounded absent.
For the time being, Elena devoured blueberries in the same silence the room took on. Steam and scents wafted from one of the ovens while chocolate cooled at the other side of the room, away from its heat.
Ceridwen resumed her harassment. "Vhene is also nine, now, in case you've forgotten."
Elliot recoiled and slumped. "Why does the new youth so often do naught but remind me of my age!"
Sirus tilted his head. "How much older are we than him again?"
"Stop making fun of me!"
"I mean, you've asked for it," Sirus shrugged. "Coming here to wallow about how you've made enemies with your own kid."
"But she's not my child," Elliot sulked.
Ceridwen looked at her baking chronometer. "All right," she sighed. "How much time do we have?"
#tHIS GOT SO LONG#theres a lot of repetition im unsure about#but miss elena honey keep it up no ones doing it like you#i love a hypocrite#elliot cadieux#elena feran#bri writes#FFxivWrite2024#FFxivWrite
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"Because you and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other... You never say what you're really thinking."
I know Nina and Maggie are talking about Aziraphale and Crowley's romantic feelings here, but I think it goes so much deeper than that. Crowley and Aziraphale are both so good at assuming the other person just knows what the other has been through. They never give the reasons for the huge decisions they make for the sake of one another because they assume that the other person will just immediately understand their reasoning.
Crowley never told Aziraphale about what Gabriel said before casting "Aziraphale" into hellfire. He didn't tell him about Armageddon 2.0 or The Book of Life. In fact, he didn't tell him any of the things he learned about Gabriel in Heaven.
Crowley doesn't trust Gabriel to be in the shop again - why would he? But Aziraphale doesn't even understand just how personal it is to him because Crowley never told him.
Crowley is too afraid to do a single thing that could harm "the peaceful, fragile existence" he's carved out for the both of them, that he never gives Aziraphale the full picture! He gives enough information that allows the two of them to continue living in the same manner they always have - working well together to save the day while avoiding the big fucking whale in the room.
Even after Maggie and Nina's intervention, Crowley still isn't saying what he really wants to say! It's why he doesn't outright say "I love you" to Aziraphale, even if to him it's clear! He's trying to lay everything out on the table while essentially saying "it'll be just the two of us, just as it's always been and everything will be fine."
And Aziraphale is no better.
Every. Choice. He. Makes - he does so with Crowley in mind. Even before The Beginning, we see him try to protect Crowley, to get him to stop asking questions so he doesn't get hurt.
Aziraphale has always believed Crowley to be good, and he knows how miserable he was in Hell after he Fell. It's pretty clear both in the first and second seasons that Aziraphale doesn't see Crowley as a "true" demon - he's always been a good angel with the wrong title.
It's why he's constantly trying to get Crowley to admit that he's nice, that he cares - he's saying that he knows who Crowley is on the inside, and wants to help him regain the status he once had so that he can act on these feelings without punishment.
And yes, I believe Aziraphale includes their love for one another in that.
So when the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he could reinstate Crowley's angelhood, that he could give Crowley back everything he once had AND stay by his side - of course that's what finally convinces him to say yes.
But Aziraphale never explains any of this to Crowley. He expects that Crowley will understand, that he'll know that Aziraphale is doing all of this for him - to allow him to ask the questions and make the changes he's been talking about from the moment they met.
It's why the "nothing lasts forever" hurts even more. To Aziraphale, it means, "I don't need the bookshop if I can be with you and make you happy again", but to Crowley, he's saying "We were never going to last, no matter what we did."
If they just talked to each other, none of this would be happening!
I'm gonna fucking scream.
#this got so long#I know this is word vomit but I have so many Thoughts bouncing around right now#they make me physically ill I love them sm#good omens#good omens meta#good omens spoilers#good omens s2#good omens s2 spoilers
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hihi! srry if youve answers this but mobile isnt making it easy to search. what's your general process for making moodboards? it's weird bc I have nooo problem making stim boards! but mbs are rly difficult for my brain evn though I wanna. how do you do it?
Hello hello! I haven't answered this before, but it's a great question!!
I usually start with either an original idea or a request that I feel like doing (sorry people who've been waiting a long time), and at that point I usually have some idea in my head of the color scheme or vibes that I want it to have and set out to Pinterest!
I gave my list of go-to items to search in a previous ask, which can be found here!
Once I've found at least 9 pictures (sometimes more than 9 for extra options) I crop them all to a 1:1 ratio so they appear as a grid of squares instead of rectangles, and sometimes make minor alterations to the color temperature (warm or cool tones) so the pictures all look coherent!
After that I play around with the composition of the picture, which can take a while depending on how many colors I'm working with. Here are 2 examples of what I mean!
This one has 2 main focus colors (as most of my moodboards do), green and brown, so the composition of it alternates between the two colors the whole time! I would also do this if it had 3 main colors. This just makes it look more even overall; to me, at least.
This one, on the other hand, is just 1 focus color, which is grey! So I didn't worry as much about the composition of it. I could move anything here to any other place, and it would be approximately the same! I treat moodboards with more than 3 focus colors the same way as moodboards with just 1, so those are less deliberately structured.
After all of that, I choose which dni banner I think fits best with what I made, write my tags out, and I'm done!! This process usually takes 20 minutes to an hour and a half, depending on how long it takes me to find the right pictures!
I hope this walkthrough of my process was helpful, and obviously there's no singular correct way to make moodboards!! Good luck Anon!
#i have Internet again!#i think I'm going to just get back to my regular schedule tomorrow#anyway#this was fun!!#my process is pretty rigid#i do it basically the same way every time#sometimes it's time consuming other times it's not#i don't have much time to work on original ideas these days#though i do still make some#anyway i really hope this helps you!#if you can make stimboards your page is already so different from mine!!#i can't make them#despite popular demand#this got so long#again#whoops#Pip's barks
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My Kavetham HCs
Met when Al Haitham started at the Akademiya and Kaveh was in third year (out of total four)
Like my uni, the Akademiya has a mentorship program for the first years. Kaveh signed up as a mentor as a good deed for his 'dear juniors' (he did not think it through) and Al Haitham is forced to participate because he's too antisocial
They get paired up together
At first they really don't like each other but Kaveh is too stubborn to give up, so they have to put up with each other
Al Haitham gets into too many fights with his first year roommate for being 'weird' and 'mean' (he's just too honest)
He asks to stay with Kaveh because he lives in his own flat off campus
(Cyno tells Kaveh to refuse. Says it's the worst idea ever. Kaveh is too blinded by his image as a good senior to listen).
Weirdly, even though they do not get along, they are great roommates. Al Haitham does the cleaning and Kaveh does all the cooking, Kaveh does household repairs and Al Haitham keeps on top of the shopping. They don't really argue over using the bathroom because Kaveh is a night owl and gets up much later than Al Haitham
They begin to appreciate each other a little more
Al Haitham works out in the garden and Kaveh joins him (he takes up the claymore to one up Al Haitham's sword. Al Haitham starts dual wielding to one up Kaveh. Neither of them admit to any of this)
Kaveh realises his physical attraction early on, basically as soon as he sees Al Haitham. He ignores it when he realises how annoying Al Haitham is. It's reawakened when he notices Al Haitham buying the groceries to Kaveh's preference, and then it is deepened when Al Haitham gives him constructive notes on his projects (he's starting to see past his bluntness)
I hc that Al Haitham can be pretty oblivious and he doesn't clock into physical attraction until they are living together. But he starts feeling romantic attraction earlier on, because he does actually like arguing with Kaveh and he's impressed that he can keep up in debates
They are basically on the cusp of getting together when Kaveh graduates. They live off campus but Kaveh wants to move out of the city, which Al Haitham doesn't understand. For once they don't argue but they are upset with each other, and when Kaveh leaves they don't say good bye properly.
Al Haitham graduates two years later and sells the flat they had shared. He sends Kaveh all the money, which is a gesture they both appreciate. Al Haitham gets his high paying job at the Akademiya and buys his very cushy house
Kaveh uses the money Al Haitham sent as a 'good faith' payment to prove he's good for the loan he takes on Dori's Palace. He is not actually in the financial position to follow through, and so he is bankrupted and in debt by the end of the project
Homeless, he stays with Cyno for a while. Cyno tells him to ask Al Haitham for help since technically Al Haitham owes him, but Kaveh disagrees and says it would diminish his generosity from when Al Haitham needed help
Al Haitham finds out about Kaveh's troubles and writes to him. They have been writing to each other sporadically, but they haven't met in person since Kaveh moved away. Al Haitham invites him to see his nice house, Kaveh sees through the offer but goes anyway
Al Haitham never offers Kaveh to live with him. He makes Kaveh ask to stay for a few days in order to stop intruding on Cyno, and then accepts him long term.
Al Haitham gets Kaveh a key in his darshan:'s colours because he knows Kaveh cares about the aesthetics of that kind of thing. Kaveh buys the lion key ring when he accuses Al Haitham of being colour blind, always taking the wrong (or both) keys
Living together again is tense because of the new power dynamic and Kaveh being so sour over having to rely on Al Haitham, and Al Haitham is (though he won't admit it) still holding a grudge against Kaveh for moving out years prior
They still make good roommates, but they're back to square one in terms their actual dynamic. Both assume the other person lost feelings at some point, and Kaveh especially thinks Al Haitham is just lauding his success over him
(because Al Haitham "doesn't keep track of favours", Kaveh doesn't think he's just paying him back. But he also knows Al Haitham isn't one for kindness.)
((Al Haitham isn't letting him stay out of kindness but because he missed him!!! Neither of them will ever verbalise this))
Most of their antagonism towards the other is exaggerated, but they do bicker a lot. After the events of the Sumeru Archon Quest, Kaveh has a period of being even more convinced that Al Haitham keeps him around just to be condescending, but he starts to let go of that as he learns more about what happened during the takedown of the previous sages
For his part, Al Haitham doesn't even have time to wonder what Kaveh thinks of him because he's so busy as Acting Grand Sage
At this point in canon, they still haven't admitted their feelings. But the tension is so thick that it's one long look away from shattering entirely
By now, all of Kaveh's friends (Cyno, Tighnari etc) are aware that Kaveh is hiding how he feels with hostility and insecurity. No one has a good read on Al Haitham, but in reality he isn't trying to be secretive at all, he likes arguing and enjoys living with Kaveh, he's just currently too tired from all the crap he's had to do to have a conversation about it
I think they'll only get together once Kaveh gets over himself and is honest. Then Al Haitham will have to be direct instead very quietly being completely open about how he feels
They are just as insufferable as a couple :))
#genshin impact#alhaitham#kaveh#Kavetham#haikaveh#al haitham#headcanons#this got so long#Sumeru archon quest
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Ravenclaw things (also probably some hc)
- still needing sleep after sleeping 8 hours
- or not needing any sleep and collapsing after three days
- CURIOSITY
- IMAGINATIVE
- probably somehow have working WIFI in the tower, the staff doesn't know about it tho
- who needs ink when you have pencils for better accuracy and less smearing? => huge point loss cuz ur not using the right materials
- unintentional meme factories
- they are on ALL the social medias to constantly stay up to date on whatever interests them
- meals are either sacred or not really important, depends on the moment
- BLANKETS.
- Just telling/sending/texting you whatever they just discovered/thought of/heard/read/saw cuz they want you to take part in their mind and they value you. Happens anywhere, at any time of the day or night. You can't escape it.
- Rambling
- they appreciate if you don't judge and are just supportive
- mostly cats, a bunch of owls and some toads/snakes/other amphibias or reptiles
- trying to research magic with scientific methods
- time doesn't exist and rules can't stop us (same with the other houses)
- respecting and always being polite to Helena
- very loud music at any given time
- everyone is just so diverse with their interests
- either pros at focusing or not, motivation is not always in their favor
- high intelligence, low/moderate wisdom
- or the other way around, just never together
#harry potter#hogwarts#ravenclaw#ravenclaw house#rovena ravenclaw#helena ravenclaw#headcanon#ravenclaw headcanon#ravenclaw tower#i'm actually a slytherclaw and in slytherin#but i love my ravenclaw side#and we don't get enough love and recognition#this got so long#it's in no way meant to be accurate#but you know that
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about your ibatori post—there’s a home screen interaction between tori and wataru(i think) where tori mentions that someone from cospro gave him a piece of candy and said “let’s get along, salute~”, obviously the salute implies that ‘someone’ is ibara. so that might’ve been their ACTUAL first meeting, depending on how canon you consider homescreen lines. but of course cradle of turbulence was the first time they had a proper conversation…i’d really like to see them talk more, i’d especially like to see akira’s take on their rlship
YESSS i know!!! and there are follow up interactions too hsdjhfgjks
(unsure if that fourth one is related, but thought it was worth adding!)
warning you before you get to the rest of the ask i have thought about this at length so. information that may not be of interest to most people
because although funny, it's an odd line to me bcs if we're being realistic, it's imposible for tori to not recognize ibara given hes. a really important guy you know, cospro's deputy director and part of eden who were in the ss and that tori's admired hiyori-sama is part of. and in cradle of turbulence he indeed recognizes him perfectly and refers to him as saegusa senpai like it's not a big deal. so i guess they had somewhat met before offscreen 🤔 gotta wait for rainbow translation and see if there's anything there
and i find it suuuuch an interesting interaction too ! ill read too much into it because i can. it's macarons, so ibara most likely knows tori has a sweet tooth. not something too hard to find out about given they have many contractions, but it's one of those moments where ibara's penchant for collecting information "for evil purposes" comes across as a sweet gesture hskjflsjdkfhs picking a gift he'd like. but i also like how nonchalant tori is about it gajskdhfslds he did learn to not accept food from strangers. and it Is a pretty weird thing to do. i wonder if he really did it just to piss off yuzuru lmao but he's not the type to actively look for conflict so idk, he def knew it was not a way to actually get tori's favor either. i once in fact read it as a post cradle of turbulence interaction, like some odd way of saying "i like you" but yeah, it doesn't quite track with the "someone"
AND YEAHHH AKIRA WITJ THEM i need that so bad. adding this to the mental "tori finds out about the military facility" ideal event. it's precisely because there is such a heavy link between them that cradle of turbulence is a perfect first one-on-one interaction. a situation where ibara has to protect someone he has many reasons to dislike, because tori is a cute and lovely child that almost inadvertantly has that kind of effect on you ("his loveliness is a centripetal force // the people around him won't let him be sad"* and so on). by seeing tori in a vulnerable position it makes it more unlikely that he'll later do something that could be bad for tori.................. and at the same time it's so telling how casual tori is about ibara, as he just makes simple small talk like there's nothing to be awkward about, because to him there isn't.................. much to think about. i really want to see how akira makes ibara grapple with tori as a person and everything he signifies. a cute child, partly responsible of many terrible experiences ibara has had, yuzuru would kill ibara if he ever laid a finger on him, hiyori sees him as a small version of himself somewhat, eichi's successor of sorts... jimenyan's best friend, even. there is so much there. i kind of really want him to be the one to tell tori about the military facility. there is Something there that has potential idk. maybe put yuzuru in some sort of danger and have tori be more in charge or something mhmmm.....
#im normal#* the quote is from hokuto in graduation but it works and it is my favorite quote ever#enstars#this got so long#anonymous#preguntas
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