#this one's private but the venting is not

[revelboo]

the recent development with 'everything is alright' has me wondering about king starscream and how... lonely he seems. granted rattrap is there but hes... not much company in stars mind, i think. like dont get me wrong i knew he'd be lonely and a little on the right side of miserable, but that in tandem with the bit about 'dont you know you're home/his future/the one good thing in his life' bit from the last chapter has me!! chokign up a bit cuz damn he really wasnt kidding!!! he got what he wanted but at the cost of still being miserable bc its fuckin LONELY at the top when youre paranoid as all hell with VERY REAL justifications to back said paranoia up!!! god!!!

Yeah, King Star isn’t all that happy. I do like playing with different versions of the same character and just tweaking the circumstances. In Everything is Alright he’s alienated himself from his Trine due to his paranoia, in True Romance he still trusts his Trine and has that relationship, so he’s a lot less paranoid and lonely, in Overdone his Trine just drifted apart. He could have made more of an effort to connect and reach out, but he was so focused on his goals, he didn’t really notice that gap widening until they’re almost strangers to each other

Overdone Pt 2

IDW RID Starscream x Reader

• “You’re weren’t on earth, were you?” He asks when Rattrap gawks at the human in his grip. Striding past, he heads for his private habsuite. Hears Rattrap weakly call out about the reports and he ignores him. They can wait. But you? A human from nowhere plummeting to your death. Closing the door behind himself, he studies you as you cling to his servos. Timid for a spy. “Well?” He growls, depositing you on his desk. “Where did you come from?” Who sent you to spy on him? Wants to know so he can and deliver your broken body to them.

• Falling on your hip, you stare at the big monster and his wings flare out. Trying to say something, anything, when you’re too terrified to make a sound. You’d been driving and then crippling plain had slammed through you, feeling like being torn in two. And then finding yourself somewhere wholly different falling to your death. It’s a nightmare and you can’t wake up. Lip curling, he slams his huge palms down far too close to you and you scream and cringe into a ball. “Speak! Who are you working for?” He roars.

• Pretending at terror? No, venting softly as that acrid shift in your scent registers, he leans back. Not an act. “I don’t know! I don’t know anything!” You cry, little voice broken and terrified and his wings droop slightly. Maybe you’re telling the truth, but you came from somewhere. Humans don’t spontaneously teleport across space and time. Except you apparently had. Servos tapping on the desk, he glares at you and the problem you pose. If you are a spy? An autobot ally sent to undermine him? Why risk your death? If he hadn’t grabbed you, you would have died. Maybe whoever had dropped you meant to see what he’d do and you’re of no importance to them beyond as an expendable pawn?

• “Stop cowering and sniveling,” he growls and you risk a glance at that scowling face, see his optics narrow at you. “If you show your fear, others will use that against you.” Heart hammering against your ribs, you watch him pace around the huge room. And when he’s not looking at you, you can breathe. Try to get your bearings. You have no idea where you are or how you got here, but it had hurt worse than anything you’ve ever felt. Tracking him as he lifts a hand, murmuring, you realize he’s talking to himself at the same time it sinks past the fear that he’d caught you when you’d been falling. He’d saved you.

• Why had he saved you? Because you’re not a monster not matter how much you pretend you are, that annoying, little ghost whispers and he curls his lip. “You know nothing.” Refuses to look, to let his processor trick him with impossible things. Would think maybe you’re a hallucination, too. Except he’d felt your little heart beating against his servos, the warmth of your body in his hands. He’s not mad enough to imagine details like that, yet. Though for you to appear when he was considering not pulling up? Are you a punishment? Drifting back to the desk, his head tips with predatory interest as he rests a servo against your throat and you lay a soft hand on him. You feel real. “Tell me why I shouldn’t rid myself of you. Make me believe you’re no spy.”

Previous

[irrealisms]

this is still true of me (that i am more sensitive around therapsychiatry stuff recently) and it’s. idk. it can get really isolating to be a psych survivor. it feels like there’s medication and therapy positivity everywhere sometimes. and I don’t want to begrudge that because I know it helps people—hell, it’s helped me immensely! but it hurts for it to be everywhere. it feels like there is a megaphone aimed at me going JUST KEEP TRYING. DON’T GIVE UP. MAYBE THE PAST TEN YEARS OF THERAPY AND MEDICATION HAVENT FIXED YOU BUT ITS JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVENT FOUND ~THE ONE~. well maybe i want to give up. okay? maybe i want to give up. there was a good post I saw recently about physical disability and choosing not to go to PT and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. but also just. idk. i had what i think might have been my first real FlashbackTM at about the same time as i made the above post. a week and a half ago I almost ran away impulsively to a different state bc I was convinced if i came home they’d be waiting with handcuffs to take me back to the hospital. since last august my life has been going incredibly downhill. negative spiral. I know why for some of it but I don’t know why I started getting more sensitive abt therapsych stuff in November. but what am I supposed to do with that when all the advice is “have you tried therapy/meds?” YES! and one of my biggest fears is trying them again!!! they fucked me up and— I can’t even say “you can’t make me go back” because it’s not true, it would be pretty easy to make me go back, but—I don’t want to. okay? I don’t want to. and it’s unfair of me but it hurts sometimes to see people who were uncomplicatedly helped. It’s all jealous resentful upset maybe even angry. I don’t want to call seven therapists who all turn me down for being too complicated a case for them and then the eighth I go every week and stare at the wall for an hour and come home in tears because im too scared to talk to them and then as soon as I open up they baker act me. I can’t do that again. Im tired of it being the only choice I have if I ever want to feel better or even just “not suicidal”. I don’t want to hear anymore about how helpful it is. I know that’s bad but I don’t care right now. Im tired of therapy and meds being everywhere and I can’t avoid reminders without also avoiding things that help me and/or bring me joy. Normally this is the sort of thing I put in private discord vent channels but for whatever reason I’ve been posting on tumblr today? So you all get this. I don’t know. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep and I’ve been physically sick for a week and I’m not getting better so you all get my ventblogging. can someone invent a world that doesn’t have therapists in it

i've been....notably more sensitive and easily upset around therapsychiatry stuff recently and i am genuinely unsure why. i haven't been in therapy in significantly over a year now. it's coming up on two years since my hospitalization. today i got upset over three different things about this and i think this is to some extent me being more easily upset than normal and i don't know why. well other than "i've been more easily upset about literally everything recently". but it's been notably worse wrt therapsych stuff! my next post is gonna be another more serious and thoughtful post but first i just want to do a more emotional "idk why this has been more of a sore subject recently and i wish it weren't" :/

[totsandnuggsrebloggs]

Some Things I Screenshotted From W2H2 Part 1 While Watching Frame By Frame

Spoilers below

Fucking Somic

I thought Jonathan was the one with the nice ass.

nice. (1312 = ACAB)

Love the chords chart in the background and the book that read "Weeds, Invasive Plants of The Midwest" but what caught me off guard about this scene is that Jonathan just has like, a scalpel??? In his pencil holder??? Facing sharp side up!??? I mean like, I cant judge, I also have a scalpel but i store it in a fucking sterilized box!? I dissect mushrooms with it what is he doing with it??? Dissecting flowers????

I think this is meant to be a 3 leaf clover but it could also be a sticky hand?

I saw it earlier but this is a better pic of those little dinosaur or maybe monster finger puppets you'd get from arcade display cases.

Dolphin.

Yesssssssssssss- wait what is that?

Oh my god funckin Sonic 2

The end.

[icemintfreeze]

sigh hello everyone, it’s been a while but I’m going to be stepping back from all my socials- for a year I’ve been getting stalked, and the perpetrator nabbed all of my information as well as my family’s, and he is actively threatening them (and threatening to lie and get them in serious trouble).

Im.. At a genuine loss here? I’m sorry for being gone for so long but I’m genuinely terrified (tags below)

[giddlygoat]

i just finished rewatching gravity falls for the first time since i was dipper and mabel’s age, and somehow i only remembered AFTER it was all said and done that today is their birthday. poetic. i’m in emotional shambles.

i hope everything works out. i hope my twin brother and i stay close forever. this show gives me a lot of hope and determination and i hope i never lose that, or my childlike sense of wonder and whimsy. you know, the important stuff. i’ve also decided just now that i’m going to stop being self-conscious about getting sappy. i love this show with all of my heart and it’s been my dream for a long time now to someday create something that can inspire sincerity in others as much as gravity falls has inspired me to always strive for authenticity. that was a long run-on sentence but i hope it makes sense.

thank you alex hirsch for creating the perfect show!

[caprice-nisei-enjoyer]

Another thing???

I get it now. About the difficulties of moderation. I'm never complaining about a forum rule ever in my life

[oleanderspride]

“You need to be respectful towards people who aren’t comfortable sharing their F/Os, they have boundaries that need to be respected just as much as anyone else’s” and “While it’s completely fine to keep your distance from people who share your F/Os, you shouldn’t be putting them down just because they’re fine with sharing and you aren’t” are sentiments than CAN, and moreover SHOULD coexist

[venacoeurva]

I do feel bad for people who really only use Twitter, I used it exclusively for a while when it was still decent-ish pre-elongated crust, and it's been dogshit but it keeps getting worse... but some people

have all their mutuals and friends there

some people can't use other social media they otherwise would due to it being banned where they are (which might include the aforementioned mutuals and friends living there too)

a ton of people have a larger following or reach there than any other sites they use that won't follow them elsewhere and that's their only source of income so they can't just delete and leave

and it's one of the few major social medias left where there's an active and openly allowed nsfw scene.

The fact that the alternatives are smaller sites scattered all over the place that might die in a few years, get worse, stagnate, or just never get much traffic just has me kinda

[piepiepiemag]

i’m just not seeing the point in communities being run by petty 15-17 year olds who run the place like a dictatorship and decide to “cancel” anyone who breathes wrong near them. or if they don’t cancel you they just shit talk you behind your back endlessly. i feel like i’m getting too old for this

[loafbud]

[harpieisthecarpie]

not a furry not a pet play enthusiast but a secret third thing (using dog behavior as a metaphor to convey trauma responses)

[unstablemotions]

people: you need to get an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist!!!

psychiatrists: *misdiagnosed me with different things like +4 times and filled me with unnecessary medicine*

[bondwithme-murderstyle]

with the other boys posting their dedications, liam’s death has completely gut punched me and denial has become reality in real time. i think about the girls i spent that period of my life with, the community we felt and shared. i think about them tonight in their respective homes with their respective partners, children, pets and wish them the very same love and warmth that we shared those years ago.

the darkest hours of my life were supported by this band and the boys as individuals and the community they curated all around the world, you were never alone. with the time that has passed and the stories that have been swirling for years, they will always be the boys and liam will be mourned for who he was and not what had become of him. i grieve the time and the part of him that brought the world together.

i don’t condone who he had grown into and victims deserve the recognition in this too.

[sysig]

I’m just saying I think he has a type (Patreon)

[rouge-the-bat]

i am. SO fucking tired of ppl trying to make "problematic" fiction out to being the same fucking thing as shit me and other csa survivors have gone through. how do yall not realize how fucking disrespectful it is to have our trauma watered down to be equal to some shit thats literally not even real ????? THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING, ONE HAS AN ACTIVE REAL ABUSER AND REAL VICTIM, ONE IS A FAKE STORY ABOUT FAKE PEOPLE.

[simpotat]

What the fuck