#this one took like 4 days to get posted because i kept coming home from work absolutely exhausted and not editing it LMAO

[batboyblog]

i live in the south, and i used to follow someone on here who lives in the same state as me, who i thought would've understood how difficult things are for marginalized people who live in red states and why we needed harris to win. but they kept reblogging posts about how both parties are the same and anyone who votes for harris is voting for genocide (as if letting trump win was going to be any better?? he's just started talking about wanting to "clean out the whole thing" and forcibly displace all remaining palestinians by making them move to jordan and egypt, an idea which every group who would be affected hates 🙄). i kept hoping they'd finally realize the very obvious fact that contributing to trump's win wasn't going to make things better for any decent person in the world but the last straw for me was when they posted something like "well i was going to go vote for [fictional character] but the line was too long so i just went home haha!!" i blocked them right after that, and now of course trump is in office and things are going to get so much worse for me and for them as those of us in red states have so much less of a chance to push back against our local governments and all of the bigots who voted for trump will feel more emboldened by his win. so yeah, i share your small fantasy that people like that will wake up and realize they were wrong for spreading these ideas. sorry for venting in your inbox though lol, you don't have to reply to this if you don't want to!

One of my best friends in politics is from Louisiana. He's gay and when he came out his parents sent him to a pray the gay away camp where... really horrible shit happened. And I think about that skinny kid coming out of just the most horrible shit imaginable and being a Freshman in college working his ass off for a Red State Democratic Senator, Mary Landrieu, Mary didn't win, but he worked SO hard for her. And we met working on Hillary's campaign together, boy has bad luck with Democratic women running for office.

Any ways the point is, I love red state Dems, I really do. My friend really loved John Bel Edwards, now I don't think either of us really fully agreed with Edwards, I know my friend was as feminist as a gay boy can be and believed in the right to an abortion totally, Edwards was/is one of the rare pro-life Democrats. But my friend understood, a Democratic governor would protect more people's rights, do more for the poor and the disadvantaged. Edwards' signed an order day one in office banning LGBT discrimination in the state government, when a Republican took over 8 years later, day one, threw that order out, a lot like Trump undoing all the pro-LGBT orders Biden did and rolling back trans rights/access to federal documents that came about under President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

I think thats the thing, in Red States and in America at large we share this big country with a lot of people most of whom are more conservative than I am, so how do I get as much of what I want as I can? Do I vote Mickey Mouse for President? no I vote for the candidate that will do the most good, I won't always agree with them, I don't agree with myself most of the time.

idk it's not... theoretical to me? I'm likely not writing my best work here but when it comes to voting I think about all the people in my life who needed help, if they got it or not, and the ways they were left behind or would have been life behind and all the kids out there, queer kids trans kids, the poor always the poor kids, you know and the loss they'll suffer because of 4 years of a Republican President. And yes Trump is a VERY bad Republican President but if we ever get to some future after him there will come a time where maybe a bland centrist Democrat will run against a business focused Republican, Bush V Gore? and people will say "oh there's no difference" and there is.

oh also I want to say, the little old ladies, the normie "cringe lib" wine moms and grandmas (and yes dads and granddads, but more women then men tbh) who struggle with a grand-nephews pronouns did more for trans rights by going out knocking doors for Harris one weekend, then shitty leftist posters (trans and not) who endlessly attacked Dems and voting.

any ways I'm sorry all this is happening, idk what state you're in or how bad it is or will be. I don't have easy answers for living through this long night of the soul. As Thomas Paine put it all those years ago "These are the times that try men's souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman." it is trying my soul, but I will endure as we all must endure, we can not give up we cannot fail, we cannot allow ourselves to be ground down by fascists, and by their handmaids who act as if they're on our side, I hope everyone is looking to what they can do, and what the next chance they have to fight back and take back political power is.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 5 thoughts

we are BACK tonight to see how scully can save the day, as mulder is still stuck in another guy’s body!!! which is deeply stressful for everyone involved, myself included.

i hope that whatever it is you have to do to fix this problem, it isn’t too painful.

if anyone can figure out how to solve a time warp, it’s gonna be scully, so he should be in good hands. idgaf about morris though. after he gets back into his own body, perhaps we should consider tarring and feathering him.

post-episode thoughts: the ending of this episode raises a great question- if my forgiveness of mulder was based on him atoning for his crimes, where does that leave us now? much to ponder...

and will how will his apartment look the next time we see it?!

back to the recap of last episode. we begin with the scene of him yelling and screaming that morris isn’t him!!

ooo! we get to see mulder’s info in the x files!!!

he was born in chilmark, and his mother’s name is “teena kuipers”. huh; when his mother’s name was mentioned in kitsunegari, the subtitles had it spelled as “tina”. this is interesting, but probably means nothing. quick question: which way do the fans spell it? i need to not make a fool of myself

he lives in virginia!!! in alexandria!! i don’t know where that is, so that doesn’t really mean anything anyway. 

he was born on october 13th, which i find a very appropriately spooky day.

oh, we also see that kersh’s first name is alvin. that is interesting. and he’s on general assignment. 

morris is narrating: “once upon a time, there was a man with the improbable name of fox mulder”��yeah <3

NOOO, you leave samantha out of this you morris son of a bitch!!

is this actually supposed to be canon home video footage of mulder playing with samantha, pretending to be spock as a kid??? oh. that’s… adorable. aww. oh. baby mulder... my heart.

morris is talking about mulder's hard work that doesn’t make up for his sister, and we see all these awards in his apartment!! an award for public service from the justice department, and another one for outstanding service with the FBI.

but morris plans to turn mulder’s life around…….

i need to spray this man with a water bottle AT BEST. pepper spray more realistically, though.

wait, it looked like morris was lurking about the basement office. but i thought the basement office was spender’s now!!! all of the papers and newspaper clippings had been taken down! we saw the office in episode 3, and it had spender’s stuff in there instead- definitely not any of mulder’s awards or his diploma or anything! unless he moved all the stuff into his apartment? but how could he have moved it into his apartment if all that stuff was in his office when it was set on fire and presumably went down with the x files?!

hmm. well. anyway.

intro time 

maybe they just permanently trimmed down the intro. still feels wrong.

mulder-as-morris is still screaming as he is being taken away. i’ve always loved how he screams “scully” with reckless abandon, like some sort of coyote. it’s good stuff.

scully is deeply suspicious. and morris-as-mulder calls her “dana” again, which remains diabolical. 

mulder-as-morris is being brought to a jail cell! who is in here with him?! ohhh, it’s captain mcdonough in the body of mrs. chee! mulder obviously doesn’t know what is going on, and pisses the captain off by calling him “ma’am”. poor guy. can’t catch a break. he just wanted to make sure his prison partner who outwardly LOOKS like an elderly woman was okay :(

morris-as-mulder is back to playing virtual golf on the clock. DISGUSTING! i actually support playing video games on the computer, just not on the taxpayer's dime when there are alien crimes that need to be solved.

kersh told scully that she was "willful" and "not a team player", and now she is being suspended for two weeks without pay!! nooo!! well, at least she can get away from this morris freak. she packs up all her stuff to get out of there.

NOOOO... morris-as-mulder calls her “dana” again, and asks if a home-cooked meal at his place would ease the pain of suspension… she smiles, and hopefully this is not an agreement. we all know mulder cannot cook! at least, i don’t THINK he can. maybe he learned some relevant life skills in between seasons or when the camera wasn't rolling.

back at the jail cell, captain mcdonough is trying to explain what happened to land him in this new body, which leads to this amazing mulder line: “hey, grandma top gun, will you shut the hell up?!”

mulder-as-morris is then summoned before general wegman. they want to know why he gave the FBI false info. ohhh, he is improv-ing!!! and doing quite a good job at it!!!! he convinces them he has the real flight data recorder and will bring it back, and he approached scully to try and figure out who the snitch from inside area 51 was. you can achieve so much by saying things confidently.

oooooo, the other guy got in biiiiig trouble!

morris-as-mulder is arriving at mulder’s apartment with groceries and “mood lighting for the bedroom” (GAG!) i hope scully has him at gunpoint in there…

LMAO, he is surprised to learn that there is, in fact, no bedroom. you know what? in this situation, that is probably a good thing.

he finds a closet with lots of magazines shoved in it, at least some of them pornographic, and a singular bowling pin?? wow. morris-as-mulder proclaims that mulder hasn’t been laid in 10 years. ace icon.

(the bowling pin is still sending me)

oh no, mulder-as-morris is returning to his “wife” with all of his stuff still tossed on the curb!! she still thinks he was cheating on her with scully!!!

outside, someone is sneaking up on him in some generic-looking car…

he tries to compliment his “daughter’s” nose ring, for SOME REASON thinking it is a good idea to poke her fresh new piercing, and she hits him with the “as if!” <- LMAOOO oh god. he is truly being tested.

and the son says mom is taking out a restraining order on him. well. i guess that solves the problem of dealing with his "children". 

NOOOO, HIS NOT-REALLY-WIFE CALLS HER “SPECIAL TRAMP DANA SCULLY” <- THAT IS EVIL!!!!! do not bully her 😟 but yes i did laugh <3

he’s trying to explain that he is actually a guy named mulder and he has no idea who she is, but she writes it off as a midlife crisis.

and when he points out that people outside the window are watching him, she says he needs to accept who he is, however repulsive that may be. well. this does not help.

oh no, scully is rolling up to mulder’s place!!! but of course, it is truly morris in there!! and she’s getting shown around the brand new space. oh, he is far too touchy with her. BUT he did get mulder a bed. which could be seen as an improvement. 

he leads her to the bed. and she’s laying on it…. and it’s vibrating?? or something??? hey guys. is this the magic fingers from bad blood all over again.

he comes back with champagne… oh god, he’s singing about getting it on…. we need to put this man DOWN.

“you know what would really be fun?” (she pulls out handcuffs) “oh yeah” <- oh lord. i know she’s cooking up a scheme. 

LMAOOO SHE GETS HIM TO HANDCUFF HIMSELF RIGHT TO THE BED AND PULLS OUT HER GUN I’M HOWLINGGGG

and he does it fully clothed, too. i wonder what his plan was...

“you’re not mulder” “what? baby-“ “baby me and you’ll be peeing from a catheter” <- LMAOOOOOOOOOO i’ve seen that line in screenshots before and now i know the context 

god, he really fell for that. terrible! no brains on this fellow!!

okay, but now i want to know what REAL mulder is going to do with this huge, fancy bed in his apartment. 

i love when scully pulls out her gun!! it makes me clap my hands with glee!

morris-as-mulder says that he considers this a gift from god. he doesn’t want to go back to his wife and kids and job. and scully says she’ll shoot him, “baby”. which is a level of pettiness i admire.

GOD, he changed the message on mulder's phone to say he’s entertaining a very special guess… we need to spray this man with pesticides. but the mysterious area 51 source called!!

mulder-as-morris is sitting by the window, watching the people outside watch him. LMAO, he convinces his "wife" to take him somewhere. oooo, where will they go....?

scully has driven morris-as-mulder down to nevada to meet with the source!! she threatens to shoot him again. and just know that her aim is GOOD, bitch.

mulder-as-morris is here, too!! but morris is meeting with the source (who happens to be general wegman, but i was mostly too distracted by his buffalo bills hat to realize it was a character we had seen before). obviously, due to being morris, he is being an idiot and loudly saying “you’re the guy that took down a UFO?” yeah. wow. how has he made it this far in life? good lord. stop acting so ridiculous with another guy's face on.

mulder-as-morris sneaks out to find scully!!! a reunion!!! i want tears.

but oh nooooo…. his "wife" finds him in the car with her!!!!

morris-as-mulder walks out with the thing he came for from the source, but not before seeing his crying wife. and he dips.

damn. i genuinely thought he was going to feel bad and comfort her there. i guess not.

and poor mulder gets a drink thrown on him by her. they are both suffering in unique ways.

oh shit!!! mulder-as-morris runs into morris-as-him in the bathroom. and they’re both hiding!!!

scully came inside looking for them…. oh shit, the source was general wegman?? OHHH, they did a bait and switch!!! scully took the flight data recorder from the big bag, and mulder is simply holding lots of beer!!!!

OH MY GOD, jump to the lone gunmen??? frohike is cooking for them!!! and he has an apron and a bandana, LMAOOOOO. but domestic bliss is over, because scully is here to interrupt!!! with morris-as-mulder. he’s wandering around their studio as scully asks them to figure out wtf the flight data recorder says.

scully tries and explains that this is not mulder in the room with them. 

MORRIS KNOWS WHO THE LONE GUNMEN ARE???? he says that they believe all the stuff his people make up!! “there is no saddam hussein” <- LMAO??? he’s just some random guy?? wow. wildest in-universe reveal yet.

(fascinating implications for the lone gunmen's journalistic abilities after morris claimed that the stories they pick up are the ones men like him spread. makes you wonder how much of what they are publishing is legit, how much is propaganda, and how much are weird tabloid and internet stories of bat boys and the like. or perhaps that was just a silly throwaway line from morris, and there is no real meaning behind it at all. hmm....)

frohike nearly throws hands, but scully pulls him back. i would have supported violence, but we must not injure mulder's body so that when his spirit is returned to it, it will be a smooth transition.

back in nevada, mulder-as-morris is here with general wegman. and he knows that he is really mulder!!! but sadly, real morris also knows that wegman is the snitch who reached out to him. he sabotaged the craft so that mulder could see it and so he could ask if aliens are real. ohhh…. this makes me sad. they could have queened out together in another lifetime. hopefully wegman can flee to somewhere safe.

the gunmen crack the code in the flight data recorder!! it’s regular flight data with some extra stuff. morris-as-mulder is once again picking a fight with frohike, but how do we get their bodies back?!

abrupt jump. why are these people kissing out in area 51? i don’t want to see all that. oh no. are they going to get body swapped, too???

NO!!! they got melted together!!!!!

well. um. okay.

mulder-as-morris is waiting somewhere. scully is here!!! and so is real morris!!!! 

oh no... another mulder and scully reunion, but this time it seems sad: “you don’t look too happy. don’t tell me i’m going to have to put two kids through school” “that is you in there mulder, isn’t it?” <- OHHH NOOO…. how are they going to fix this???? just stand out in the desert for a bit until the thing comes back!!!

she can barely look at him as she tells him she doesn’t know what to do, because the schedule of the time warp is so random. 

and back in DC, morris-as-mulder has become kersh’s new golden boy; “that son of a bitch confesses to kersh even more than i do to my priest” 

a little gallows humor. because scully is out of the bureau!!! she was relieved from her position!! WHAT!!!

“no. you can explain it to them like you explained it to me. you have the data. you can make them understand. you can get your job back” <- OHHH, he is so convinced that they’ll believe her….. even if it seems ludicrous…. he has that Hope to him. that kind with claws.

“i’d kiss you if you weren’t so damn ugly” OHHHH MY HEART……..

“if i shoot him, is that murder, or...?” “neither, if i do it first” <-AWWWW, this is so sad…. imagine losing your best friend to someone else forever and ever, and then knowing he would have to live a random guy's life... oh. it would make me cry!!!

she grabs his arm and walks away before they both cry, and then he presents her with sunflower seeds to remember him by.

(GOD. THIS KILLED ME)

he watches them drive away…..

but the guy whose friends who got melted together stops the guys from area 51 who work for morris!!!

the couple who were formerly melted into one are fine now, though?? somehow?? it seems they were just hooking up?? area 51 guy says he believes him. 

poor scully is driving home with morris. he calls her “DANES”??? EVIL!!!! 10,000 years in jail.

he offers to put a word in with kersh to get her job back… does he truly have this power?? i suppose it is a somewhat kind gesture, but it would mean working with morris for a living, and i think she would rather just go be a doctor somewhere.

WHAT THE HELL? the gas station that was burned down last episode is back??? and the attendant who was shot doesn’t remember anything??? 

back in area 51, they’re bringing captain mcdonough to mrs. chee… is there a solution to this whole situation???

morris' wife is screaming at scully as mulder-as-morris is being stopped by her!!! SCREAMING "HOMEWRECKER" AT SCULLY IS CRAAAAZY

morris approaches! is he going to be able to convince his wife that he is actually the one who is married to her???? even though he has some other dude's face??

he’s reciting facts about their wedding!!! and then their relationship!!! and he does convince her!!!!

she still deserves better than him, but i am glad she at least has accepted the truth and that mulder did not split their family apart forever

but- they have to get back to the highway where this went down right NOW!!!

the area 51 guys come to get mulder-as-morris because they think he is a traitor???? WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!

the other guy stops them in the road, though!!! he figured out how to get captain mcdonough and mrs. chee in the right bodies!! he didn't want to get in trouble- LMAO, that is such a real motivation. i understand.

so time will snap back?? and no one will remember this??

DID MORRIS SLAP SCULLY'S ASS AGAIN???? AND HE SAID "IT'S BEEN REAL?" oh, if i were mulder, i would have MAULED the guy. but maybe there isn't time for violence as the time warp is imminent.

and they go back to where we started last episode!!!! going to drive off after being stopped by morris and told to leave!!!

AND WHEN THEY GET BACK, KERSH DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THEY WERE GONE!!! HOORAY!!!! 

she tells him she's sad his source didn’t work out… oh :(

“hey, scully? i, uh, know it’s not your normal life, but… thanks for coming out there with me” <- OHHH STOP??? I’M GOING TO MELT

she says "you're welcome with a smile" and then hangs up. ohh... my heart <3

he’s entering his apartment… is there going to be a massive bed in there somehow that escaped the time loop…?

oh my gosh!!! she finds the weird coin from the gas station, and he finds his apartment totally redecorated!!!

AWW!!! we got the best ending: none of it happened!!!!!! oh, things brings me so much joy.

his apartment though, LMAOOO! i know he was losing his MIND!!!!! he checked outside to make sure it was the right room, and it was!!!

ah, so they have no memories from those horrible few days. this is for the best. because none of them were enjoyable!!! and morris can go back to his life with no interruptions!! 

you know, i’m usually not into a story ending with a variation of “and it was all a dream”, but in this case, it was the best thing that could have happened. 

oh, how lucky they are to be in the timeline that they are in… wow.

and this way, scully will never have to remember anything more than a roadtrip!!! no evil morris!!! thank god!!! i rejoice!!!

and mulder said thank you for coming with him :,) and she said you’re welcome. even though it’s not the normal life she wants. ohhh… i am having Feelings about this.

man. well. i am glad all things ended this way. although, i am sure mulder is not going to be pleased about all his stuff being gone!!!! 

ah. i can relax now. at least for a few minutes. it's more enjoyable in retrospect when you know everyone makes it out alright.

so, despite my uncomfortability with morris as a whole and being at the edge of my seat because i thought there might be no escaping this sticky situation, it was an enjoyable set of episodes! shoutout to frohike for being a chef also

i see the next one is a christmas episode!!! oh, i wish i could have timed this whole thing a little better; i’m a month off from christmas. but i shall have to put myself in a jolly mood somehow. i look forward to it!

[tekka-dan]

Hello,

I realize that I haven’t really been “here” for roughly an entire year now. My last “me” post was right before coming into 2024.

In light of the recent election as of 2024–I was starkly reminded of my descent into madness, anger, bitterness and concern from the year 2016. I was still living at home with my parents, single and no kids. I thought the world as I knew it was coming to an end and I thought everyone I knew who voted for Trump weee backstabbing, bold faced liars; most of these people were my friends and it was disheartening to believe that if they supported someone like him but were playing cool to my face, who could I trust and believe in after all?

I disappeared from then and I found solace in the Naruto fandom, the only place I was able to quell my anger and hurt from the world and reality I was apart of. I will never take for granted the people I met during this time, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it for eternity: they saved my life.

Fast forward to 2024 and I am still single and living alone but this time it’s been 3 years since moving out and life is less hectic and different…but it’s better.

Most people don’t know that I entered into a relationship in August 2023 that was rushed and misaligned with everything I wanted and valued but I became desperate for partnership, acceptance and value. So I settled with someone who went on to teach me great lessons, mainly that you shouldn’t rush connections for anyone or any reason. I finally departed from that relationship as of September 2024 and slowly my world has come back into full bloom again, I’m not seeing everything in gray scale or feeling like an outsider looking in. I’m apart of my own life. I became my own main character.

That said, I also have been stable with my career for over a year now and this has allowed me to have fun money and take vacations! I recently visited Washington DC on a whim and I just so happened to be there before and after the US Election of 2024. Despite the bustling of the world on tv news and social medias; the home of where the President resides is actually fairly quaint and quiet. Many people didn’t voice their concerns or opinions about the election, many of them seemed to understand that this is just how the world works and we will have to fall in line. All that being said, I learned plenty about myself while on this trip and about life in general.

Having emotional intelligence will always save your life. No matter what situations you face or endure, even overcome, staying sharp and remaining emotionally adept is key. Nobody stormed the White House nor the Capital. People just slung their briefcases from one shoulder to the next and stood in line for the next approaching metro.

Life really does go on.

I wanted to share some pictures I had taken while on my 4 day vacation. I like these the most because the rest are pictures of the museums I went to, lol. However these are the only pictures I’ve taken of myself since January 2024.

Being in that rotten relationship really took so much out of me, it took away my light and my enthusiasm for the world and everything around me. I wasn’t taking pictures of myself or anyone else; I was just existing from one day to the next.

To see these photos and my sheer happiness and I can actively say I AM happy with my life and the way it’s going currently—feels like a milestone I actually want to commemorate, so I’m sharing them.

As this year comes to an end, please stay safe and golden. The election was sorely disappointing for a country as a whole but nonetheless we will persevere. We always have. Thanks for reading!

[secretsandwriting]

heyyyy ryyyyy <333

since ur requests are open i thought id go ahead and ask if you're mayhaps open to anything for batmom? i don't have a completely solid idea but maybe smn like batmom has been getting threats or maybe hate or smn from somebody and everyone's reactions and how they get hella protective?

obv no pressure and you definitely do not have to write this

hope you have a great day bb

Heyyyyy, so this grew hands and wrote itself, I hope you enjoy it. It did end up with a lot of backstory.

Earned Position

5.3k words

You knew this would happen. Once your relationship with Bruce got out there would be an influx of love and hate. You also knew that everyone else knew that as well. It was common knowledge than anyone around a celebrity of sorts would experience that. 

Of course you did the normal things, turned off most notifications and only looked through areas online you knew would mostly be safe. You blocked tags and and only followed people you knew or ones who didn’t post about drama. 

When you did stumble onto hate, you moved on. If someone kept sending you nasty messages you blocked them, when they made other accounts to keep sending the same things, you changed your settings so only those you followed could message you. 

It wasn’t something you wanted to deal with but it was something you could handle. Something you started mentally preparing yourself for when Bruce’s attention on you lasted more than 4 dates, even more so when you caught yourself daydreaming about him.

You were not going to let random bitter people on the internet destroy your happiness like they did their own. Your family however, wanted to destroy what was left of your haters' happiness. Something you were trying to curb, but trying to tell a family of vigilantes who considered you the best mom in existence not to destroy your haters was like talking to a brick wall. Over the years, you had gotten used to it. It barely even registered anymore. But there had been a recent influx of the hate and while it didn’t bother you, it bothered the rest of your family. None of them could stand people talking bad about their mom.

While you hadn’t been there while the older ones were young, the second you had introduced yourself to them, you had taken a very important role in their lives. None of them realizing it at first. All of them had gotten used to the random women Bruce brought home that it took a little while for them to realize how important you were. 

Dick wasn’t sure at first. Thinking you were just another girlfriend that wouldn’t last long. So he didn’t really interact with you much. Ignoring your existence when it wasn’t too rude, or at least obviously rude. Until one night when he was staying at the manor and had a nightmare about his parents death. 

Bruce had an open bed policy. As long as there was still room for him, his bed was open. A policy he had started when Dick had gotten old enough he was worried he wouldn’t be allowed to go when he had a nightmare. Bruce had always reminded all his kids, that nightmares don’t go away just because you’re older and that needing comfort wasn’t something they would outgrow. 

The thing was, you were there. Girlfriends didn’t mind when children did it but they never liked it when his adult kids did it. The shaking in his hands and the way he saw them fall in the darkness of every blink told him the only way he was getting any sleep was with someone. 

Hopefully he could just slip into Bruce’s side and leave before you woke up. That was the plan until he found Damian on Bruce’s side and you had been pulled closer to Bruce taking up what was left. You moved a little and Dick took that as his sign to deal with it himself until he heard you whisper his name. He hummed so you knew it was him and not some random stranger standing over Bruce’s side of the bed. 

“Nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on.” You lifted the blanket next to you, “Bruce told me you guys come here when you have nightmares. There's plenty of room over here for you.” Dick hesitated for a second before giving in. He needed sleep anyway. You weren’t when you said there was plenty of room, Dick had most of your half of the bed. Once he had settled on his side, facing away from you, he felt you pull the blanket over his shoulders. 

“Night Dick, sleep well.” For some reason, that was what did it. Once the tears started they didn’t stop. Silent sobs made him shudder and he felt one of your hands gently rubbing his back. “Oh Dick.” There was no pity in your tone and he found himself rolling over and curling into you. Your chin resting on his head while you rubbed his back. 

The next day, he followed you around like a puppy. Your side of the bed became his favorite when he had nightmares and it wasn’t long before he turned to you for general comfort over anything.

Jason met you at his grave. Neither of you exchanged words, but he caught something in your gaze he didn’t quite understand. He also wasn’t sure why you were at his grave either, he didn’t know you when he was younger. 

When he saw the Gotham News post about Bruce and Your 2nd anniversary, it brought more questions than answers. Why were you at his grave alone? Let alone longer than a few seconds. It was an odd way to gain more of Bruce’s affections. 

Every Tuesday you would be there, leaving flowers and talking softly to the stone. Every time you left, you would smile and nod, the look in your eyes he couldn’t figure out was still there. Every time he would strain to heat what you were saying and only be able yo a few words here and there. 

6 months into it, the routine changed. You brought a blanket and Basket with your usual flowers. You did what you normally did with the flowers but instead of talking to the stone you waved him over. When he didn’t move, you stopped what you were doing and looked at him. 

“Jason Todd, I have been keeping your secret for 6 months. Helping me spread this blanket and having lunch won’t change it.” He stared at you while you waited expectantly. Eventually when he could get himself to move, he came over and helped. He sat down where you motioned for him too, all while trying to figure out how you knew.

“Bruce mentioned this used to be your favorite when you were younger so I asked Alfred to teach me how to make it. I hope it's up to your standards.” He looked at the plate of food you handed him. It was almost overflowing with food, all of which reminded him of the good times back at the manor before he died. “Alfred also sent your favorite cookies when he heard I would be eating at your grave.” The bag of cookies was placed next to the basket, within easy reach.

“Why?” Was all Jason managed to choke out around the lump in his throat.

“I decided early on in life, no matter who I was with, I would love their family as my own. My grandfather hated my grandmothers side and it caused a lot of pain in all the generations. I decided I would never do that to another family.” Jason found himself back in control enough to start eating. 

“So when I started dating Bruce and he told me about you, I decided to treat you like you were my own. Even though I had never met you and you were dead. Most of what that meant was keeping your grave clean and always making sure there were fresh flowers. While I did that, I would tell you everything that was going on.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Your eyes, they may be a different color but they looked too similar. So I did a little digging and found pictures of your biological pictures to place the face shape it matched. I think however you look more like Bruce then either of them.”

“Are you going to tell them?”

“As much as I would love to. It’s your choice. You’ve been keeping this to yourself for a reason. If I can help you get to a place to tell them, I would love to. But I won’t say a word until you're ready. However, I would like to keep having lunch with you.” 

A year later, Jason reintroduced himself to the rest of the family a lot calmer than originally planned and was glued to your side anytime he felt overwhelmed that night. Every Tuesday after that, lunch was scheduled.

Tim was nervous when it came to you. He was still living in the manor so he saw you more than the older two. You always seemed nice and respected his privacy but Bruce was always with you so you obviously would. 

It was when he wasn’t around that worried Tim. Bruce attracted golddiggers and they were always mean when Bruce wasn’t there. When you were given a copy of the key, Time braced himself. 

Of course he knew that if he told Bruce anything that happened like that, Bruce would break it off. He had always told them that they came first. But he also knew that Bruce liked you a lot. All the other ones Bruce liked a lot that turned out to be horrible, he broked it off. Tim had seen how it had made him upset and he really hated doing that to him. Maybe he could deal with it for once. 

So when Bruce left for a business trip, Tim was Expecting the worst. What he didn’t expect was for you to knock on his door and ask if you could join him. When he agreed and stepped back so you could come in. He expected you to go to his bed or his desk chair not, the oversized bean bag on the floor.

“I have a question for you but you can’t tell Bruce yet.” Here it comes. “What would a funny way to tell him I know he’s Batman?” Tim wasn’t expecting that one. “I was thinking a lot of batpuns but his paranoia is too bad for that.”

“How did you figure it out?” You walked him through your process and didn’t say anything as he wrote parts of it down. Once you finished explaining the process for Bruce, you explained any way it was modified in figuring out their identities.

“Who do you think I am?”

“Red Robin.” Tim found himself getting excited. 

“You know those notes you leave him in his office?” You nodded. “You should leave those in the Batcave.” You considered it but your thinking was interrupted but Tim shouting. 

“No! One night when we’re all in the cave, you could bring some snacks!” 

“You just want snacks when he’s lecturing you don’t you?”

“Maybe..”

“Alright, but you have to tell the others so they can tell me what snack they want.”

So Tim slowly and carefully went through all his siblings, letting them know you figured it out, Bruce didn’t know, and what the plan is. Every time he relayed a snack to you he’d watch how carefully you’d write it out to make sure you had it correct or look up recipes if you couldn’t find it in stores. 

Two weeks later, Tim was the one who sent the signal in the middle of a lecture everyone was receiving and he got a front row seat to see Bruce’s face when you walked in and handed out snacks before giving him a kiss and telling him to be nice and leaving. 

Any other worries were left in the dust when you helped him win the nerf war for the best seat in the home theater. He thoroughly enjoyed his spot next to you while Bruce swore revenge from the other side of the room.

Damian treated you politely but that was it. His mother was still alive and he didn’t want another one, one was more than enough. Not only that, but you were weird. 

One time when you were over, you found one of his report cards. Immediately you were praising him. He didn’t understand why, he had basically failed one of his classes with an A-. You should be disappointed like his mother would be, not hanging it up on the fridge and telling people not to touch it. Definitely not taking him out for ice cream and calling him so smart. He definitely shouldn’t be feeling any pride when he walked past it, but he still was. 

When he was practicing his violin and Messed up, you were supposed to tell him to stop failing, that he should be better. Not smiling at him and telling him he’s making good progress. You should be telling him that he should have memorized that piece in a day. He shouldn’t be feeling any pride when he finally does memorize it, it took him 4 days to learn it.

When he was struggling to learn a language, you were supposed to tell him to work harder. He could do better, after all, he already knew so many. Instead you just smiled and recommended a break to refresh his mind. 

When he snapped at you in Arabic, he expected you to be upset since you didn’t know what he said and it was obviously not something nice. Instead you set the rule that if he was going to use Arabic to speak to you when upset, that he had to teach it to you and if what he said wasn’t something you had learned yet, he had to tell you in english. When he told you what it meant, you didn’t even get upset. He definitely shouldn’t be as excited as he was when you actually started learning. 

So many more little things piled up, leaving Damian confused. The differences between how you and his mother treated him was so big he didn’t know how to process it, he liked you and all the little things made him happy in a way he hadn’t really felt. But he still loved his mom, When he had enough of it, he asked you to stop. He still wanted to love his mom. Once again, you did something you weren’t supposed to.

“Oh Damian, I’m not trying to replace your mom nor am I trying to make you feel like you can’t love her or she doesn’t love you. Your mom and I show our love in different ways and its ok for you to love or like both of us. You mother loves you and she will always be allowed in your life if thats what you want.” You weren’t supposed to do that, but Damian was really glad you did.

Barbara wasn’t sure how you would react to her. She wasn’t just Bruce’s kid. She had a loving family she went back to every night. Most people weren’t really a fan of that, one of Bruce’s past girlfriends had some strong and hurtful things to say about it. 

When you took her for a day out, she found herself warming up to you but still waiting for the other shoe to drop. One of the new places you had planned to go, didn’t have wheelchair access. Like all the other girlfriends who had done this, she expected you to be annoyed that your plans had to change or you would just leave her outside while you shopped. 

You didn’t seem to notice her hesitation, just looking at what was next on your list and starting the trip there. When Barbara stared a little longer at a new movie that was in theaters, tickets and snacks were bought and you listed to all the lore she told you about before it started.

While it had been a nice day, Barbara wasn’t convinced. One day was easy to fake. Sure she had lots of fun, but Barbara was used to fakes when it came to Bruce’s girlfriends. Of course she wasn’t complaining about you being nice, she just wasn’t sure how long it would last. 

“Did you hear about that boutique?” She looked up from her food to look at her dad. “That new one that you tried to go to with Bruce’s girlfriend? Well there was a report that it didn’t meet the Americans with Disabilities act and the boutique is in trouble. People are speculating they’ll have to close down.”

Later that night, Barbara looked into it. They were in trouble, pretty big trouble from the looks of it. Towards the end of the article she found the name of the person who reported it, she wasn’t sure who she was expecting. Not you for sure but the Name Y/n L/n took her by surprise and filled her chest with feelings she couldn’t describe. 

The boutique ended up closing but a new one opened. Once it was open, you were the first to ask her to go. That weird feeling came back when she wheeled herself up the ramp and through the door you held open for her. Later that night, in the privacy of her room. She decided she liked you. 

Steph seemed like she liked you, she acted like she liked you, she didn’t really like you. Sure you were nice, Bruce loved you, the others were warming up to you, but she wasn’t sure how to feel about you. So she stuck with not actually liking you but pretending to. 

So when she was around you, it was all smiles and jokes. She wasn’t a big fan of it all but she did it because she knew you were important to Bruce and that was enough of a reason for her. She knew Bruce and the others could see through the act but as long as you couldn’t, that was enough. 

When Bruce announced he had to leave for a business trip right before she could hand him the parents visit for one of her AP classes, something the new teacher liked doing. She tucked the paper away. When Tim gave her a questioning look, she shook her head and later swore him to silence. 

Every time she heard someone mention their parents were going, she felt a pang of jealousy in her chest. Every time Tim mentioned bringing it up to you, she swore him into silence again. It wouldn’t be the first time no one showed up for her. She was however thankful you wouldn’t be at the manor as much so she didn’t have to pretend to like you.

When the day arrived, Steph was not having a good day. School dragged on slowly. Slower than normal. When school finally ended, she had to sit in the classroom and watch everyone else that was in her class leave and the parents of her classmates show up while no one was there or coming for her.

Someone sat in the seat next to her, she expected another family member of one of her classmates. Definitely not you. She couldn’t return your smile, too unsure of how you found out, the fact you actually showed up, and how she felt about you being there. You leaned a little closer so that the others in the room wouldn’t easily overhear. 

“I know I’m not your parent and someone you just pretend to like so if you want me to leave I will. But I figured someone was better then no one. Oh, and Tim wanted me to tell you he didn’t spill. Your teacher called the manor because no one had RSVPed for you and I answered it.”

That night, as Steph showed off all her hard work to you, the charade fell. She actually enjoyed her time with you and the boost of pride as you oohed and ahhed over all her projects and listened to her explain all the little details. That night, Steph realized, she didn’t need to keep pretending. She liked you, until she found out you didn’t like her favorite show but a nerf war solved that. 

Cass could tell you were different then the other girlfriends, your body language as you interacted with all of them showed it. However that didn’t mean she knew how to interact with you.

She had learned that she was fairly hard for new people to interact with. She also knew she had trouble interacting with people she wasn’t fighting. So it wasn’t a surprise when it started rocky. 

What was a surprise, was when you found out she was still having trouble reading and writing, you stepped in to help. Well, that wasn’t the surprising part, a lot of girlfriends did that. The surprising part was the amount of patience you had when it was only the two of you. 

When one method didn’t help, you tried another. Never once did you snap at her or call her a name. Everytime you got frustrated you would stop and look at her, say something along the lines of “If I had as much trouble with this as you do, I wouldn’t want to keep trying. You're doing absolutely amazing! I’ll keep looking for other ideas, but for now, lets take a break and get a treat.” 

Cass wasn’t sure why that always made her feel better, but it did. Every treat you brought was something you made just for the tutoring sessions and it always reminded her of what Alfred had told her once. “Something made with love for you will always taste better.”

And when a method that made it a little easier to learn was found, Cass found herself smiling along with your cheers. Bad days where she couldn’t seem to make any progress were always met with the same excitement, cheers, patience, and treats that all the others were. 

Cass still wasn’t sure of what to think of you exactly, but she knew she liked you and that you cared about her.

So when Tim saw the new rise in hate, a sibling meeting was called. They all went through each site, blood boiling as they saw what people were saying about their new parent. Plans were made, declarations of war were ready, and anger fueled all of them. Bruce could tell something was going on, but he wasn’t sure what it was and as long as it didn’t get out of had, he wasn’t sure if he had the energy to deal with it. 

War was declared in an interview by Steph. The lady was asking questions when the topic switched to Bruce, then you. The reporter was clearly trying to subtly find some dirt on you and Steph was not going to stand for it.

“Oh yeah! Y/n! She’s the best!” She put on her best press face. Trying to hide her anger over the hidden intent. She didn’t have to lie or act when talking about you but the change in the lady’s face going to disappointment when she didn’t get anything she wanted was making her look very punchable. 

“She’s always showing up for us and making sure we’re doing ok. If Y/n and Bruce were to break up, I think most of us would go with Y/n.” The way the lady kept trying to get anything really got on her nerves and Steph decided she needed to get out of there before she started using the lady’s face for target practice. You wouldn’t like that.

Cass was the first one to resort to violence. They had asked a thinly veiled question, basically asking if you were a golddigger. So she punched him in the nose and leaned down to flip the camera off. She hated interviews already but that made it so much worse. She hoped you wouldn’t be too upset with her punching the guy though.

Jason, surprisingly enough. Did not get violent… physically. He did however curse one out and threaten him when the reporter implied you were forcing them to say nice things. When the reporter kept pressing Jason broke his mic and told him if he ever heard him talking bad about you again, a broken mic would be the last of his worries. Jason knew you would be disappointed but he had held back, he didn’t shoot the guy like he wanted.

Tim threw his coffee at one reporter because he heard them say you were nothing but a regular person who didn’t deserve any attention. He then took over her segment, threatening the company to air it or he would make sure they went bankrupt. Once he finished his threats, anything he said was praising you name. Telling everyone how amazing you were and how much they all loved you.

Barbara made it a point to bring up everything you did for the community when they tried to throw some shade at you in an interview. She had documents to prove it and hacked their systems to add them into the interview so they couldn’t claim it was fake. She also made sure to run over his foot when she left. 

Dick punched a reporter when they tried to ask him what you were really like behind closed doors. He told them the truth, that you were just as good, kind, patient, and loving behind closed doors as you were out in public. He didn’t throw a punch until the reporter disregarded that as asked again because she couldn’t be that good. Dick knew a lecture would be coming once you saw, but he would rather sit through a lecture then let anyone tarnish your name.

Damian spent 10 minutes cursing and threatening a reporter in Arabic when they asked him if you had ever hurt him. When he was done, he told them in english, that if he ever got asked that question again, he would impale them. He knew you were going to make him sit down and translate everything and the general response you would give but he didn’t care, no one speaks bad about either of his mothers.

Bruce figured out what was going on after Steph’s interview. He saw the ones where they assaulted or threatened the reporters and made sure his lawyers were on standby to keep the kids out of trouble. After all, he had seen more than they had. 

He had watched as you tried to connect with Dick early on, how you worked hard to try and get somewhere. He had woken up before you when Dick had come in that night and heard how you handled it. He had woken up the next morning to find you holding Dick close, like you were trying to protect him from the nightmares. He had seen how you never turned Dick down when he wanted comfort, no matter how serious or silly the matter, and he had heard your excitement when you told him Dick liked you.

Bruce had seen the way you never missed a visit to Jason’s grave, on a visit of his own, he saw how much care you showed the stone marking it as his lost son. While he hadn’t been sure why it was alway the same time on Tuesday, he didn;t mention it. He felt the way you would sob in his arms after each visit, a year after the tradition started, you always said you had promised not to tell and he watched as you kept that promise even if it tore you to pieces. Once the shock and tears wore off for a little bit, he could see the trust that Jason had in you.

He heard the way you questioned if you should have a key to the manor, you didn’t want to make Tim uncomfortable in his own home, or how you questioned if you should visit while he was gone. Not wanting to stress Tim out when there was no reason too. He saw the way you and Tim grinned at each other when you brought snacks down for all the kids he was currently lecturing. He head the excitement in your voice as you told him about the tour Tim had given you of the Batcave and the shared laughter as you and Tim worked together to win the nerf war.

Bruce saw how you worked to give Damian the affection he didn’t think he needed. He felt you crying in his arms upset over the fact Damian thought you would be angry because he made a mistake or struggled in a class. He heard you practicing your Arabic as you got ready for bed and he watched as you stress paced over whether or not you said the right thing to him about his mother. 

He saw how angry you had been when you came back from your day out with Barbara. He had heard your call with your lawyer as you tried to figure out what to do. He saw you going through the laws and making a list to make sure your lawyer didn’t miss any. He heard about the movie you didn’t particularly care about and the lore you remembered in case of another because you wanted Barbara to have someone she could tell all of her favorite things too. 

Bruce saw the pictures you had taken from the school night. He heard all the details from you as you praised Steph’s work. He saw the way Steph stopped acting around you and the silly arguments the two of you would get into for fun. He heard the way you would listen to her as she verbally worked out her problems. He saw the way Steph looked for you in a crowd, the way she knew you were there but not where you stood exactly, the thought of you not being there never crossed her. 

He saw the way you stayed up late, researching different ways to teach reading and writing. He heard the patience and kindness and you worked with Cass. He saw the way you always made a treat just for Cass to have after each lesson because you wanted to reward her hard work. He heard the way you cried for Cass when she had a bad day and got frustrated with herself because you knew she was smart and you wanted her to see it too. He heard your celebrations when Cass made any progress, no matter the size. 

Bruce heard, saw, and felt the way you worked hard to have a relationship with his kids. How you had mourned for their losses, celebrated their wins, and felt their pain. He saw the way his kids blossomed under your care, growing to be better and more confident in themselves. The way you cared for them as if they were your own flesh and blood. So when he was asked about his kids behavior, he said as much. 

“Y/n has worked hard to be accepted by them. She’s given so much of her time, effort, patience, and love and never wanted anything in return. She always shows up for them, no matter what the occasion is, big or small, it doesn’t matter. If they want her there, she’ll be there. Everytime they need or want her, she’s there. She never judges them and treats them as if they were her own blood. Of course their upset and lashing out, people are insulting the woman who has cared for them more then most of their biological mothers.”

Later, a clip of you scolding Bruce and all the kids went viral. While you were scolding them over their behavior and making the kids who had reacted with violence or threats write apology letters because asking mean questions does not make it right to respond badly especially when its someone just trying to start drama. Everyone one noticed that there was no actual bite to your tone and no anger when they all refused to stop acting like that. In fact, there was a small soft smile on your face as you shook your head at your family.

[sweetdispatch]

His special day - J. Hughes

Purple Chemistry | Previous Chapter

summary: Jack finally realised how much you mean to him after showing up in a hospital

warning: mentions of injury

words: 1.5k

note: last chapter has arrived!

---

For the next few weeks, the tension was visible between you two. Just like a kiss showed you that you’re more than friends with Jack. You tried to act normal around him but you couldn’t. Your feelings were going crazy while you were around him. Jack was lost in this situation. The kiss you shared was full of emotions and he didn’t know what to think.

Jack started to see you as a future girlfriend but he wasn’t sure if he’s ready for commitment. You two had different lives and opinions and he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic you two share. He was wondering if it would be bad to stay as friends. He didn’t want to take the risk of losing you because your relationship hadn’t worked out. 

The last game of the season between New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils ended up 4:3 which means that Rangers beat Devils in all four games this season. This match was way tougher than the previous ones. Jersey was leading 3:2 before the third period. In the last part of the game, they lost 2 goals and Rangers were celebrating. 

You knew that Jack would be bitter about the result. Last time he was sad over their 3:1 loss and now, he’s either gonna be heartbroken or mad as hell. You were at this game but this time, he didn’t ask you if he could come home with you. You thought that he had to be back with the team in New Jersey and decided not to push him to see you. 

The truth was that Jack was struggling with his shoulder and that’s why he didn’t come to see you after the game. He hadn’t told you anything about it because he didn’t want to bother you. He kept this as quiet as possible. Couple days later, he played his last game of the season before he required surgery on his shoulder. 

You found out about this from social media. You were scrolling your twitter when you saw a Devils post that Jack is out for the rest of the season because he needed a surgery. Your phone fell from your hand when you read it. You froze in spot. You were scared of him and his health. When you came back to your senses, you called Luke to ask him about it. 

“Hi, I know I never call you but I need to know what’s happening with Jack. I read that he needed surgery” You were rambling.

“Y/N calm down. Everything is fine. He needs surgery on his shoulder but he’s gonna be alright. He’s at home with parents to take care of him. Nothing to worry about” 

“Wait, he’s in Michigan? He hadn’t told me anything” You sighed.

“Yes, he’s in Michigan and he didn’t say a word to you because he knew you’re gonna be panicking. I told him it’s a bad idea to keep it from you but that was his choice” 

“Can I visit him?” You asked.

“I guess. I can call my mom and get the information in which hospital he is and send them to you” 

“Please do, I owe you” Luke laughed at your words.

Before Luke messaged you with the information, you went to ask your boss if you can have a free week due to personal reasons. He agreed on that and you ran into your apartment to pack your suitcase and booked a plane ticket to go and see Jack. While doing this, Luke sent you all the information you needed. 

The next day you had a plane. You were scared of Jack’ reaction when he saw you. You felt bad that you're doing this behind his back but this was to calm your nerves and make sure that he’s alright. When you landed, you took a taxi and went straight into the hospital. You didn’t care about the luggage you had with you. All you wanted was to see him.

From Luke, you found out that Jack had his surgery yesterday so he was resting in a hospital room. You stood up in front of the door and knocked. You didn’t want to interrupt him while he’s sleeping or someone else is in the room.

“Mom you don’t need to knock, I’m not 5” You heard and took it as a yes. Slowly you opened the door and Jack froze when he saw you. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I took a free week to check on you. I read that you had an operation and I was scared of you and I just needed to see you” Tears spilled from your eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry. I’m fine” He tried to calm you down. “Come, sit next to me” You saw a chair and sat while wiping away your tears. “You seriously took a free week just to see me? How did you even know where I am?”

“I talked with Luke and he told me everything since you were dead silent after the game” 

“Sorry for that, I just didn’t want to bother you” He shrugged but while doing this he hissed in pain.

“Don’t use your shoulder. You’ll make it worse” You grabbed his healthy hand and started caressing it. “You should tell me, I was thinking that you’re mad at me because Rangers won” You tried to lighten the mood. This time it worked because he laughed. 

“No, I was mad after the game but I could never be mad at you” He smiled at you. 

You spent the next two days next to him in the hospital. You didn’t want to leave him alone while his parents couldn't be there. You were only leaving Jack to go and get sleep in a hotel but even in this situation, he had to push you off the room because you wanted to stay. You saw that he’s in pain and can’t use his left arm, that’s why you wanted to be there for him. 

Jack finally could go back to his house and you were delighted hearing that. He was feeling less pain and you could get proper sleep knowing that he’s alright. You were hanging out with him in your last free days and helped his parents with everything in the house. His mum was smiling at the sign of you two but she didn’t know that you’re just friends. 

After a week, you returned to New York but still, you were checking on him every day calling him after work and asking how he’s feeling. It became tradition between the two of you to have a conversation each evening. Jack was thankful to have you by his side and he realised that all the time he had feelings for you.

You were always there for him, no matter what. Jack stopped caring about the fact that you might hate his team but he was sure that you love him. When you took off the week to be with him, he knew that he had to ask you to be his girlfriend. He didn’t care anymore that this might ruin your dynamic if things won’t turn the way he wants but he was willing to take the risk.

On his birthday in May, you flew for the weekend to celebrate with Jack his special day. He knew that you’re coming and he was prepared to ask you the question. That was the birthday gift he wanted from you. You meet his older brother Quinn and thank Luke for help. Four of you had fun this whole day on the boat. Seeing you getting along with his brothers was confirmation that he had to make you his. 

When you stepped out of the boat, Quinn and Luke went inside. You wanted to follow them but Jack stopped you. You faced him and looked into his eyes. He smiled. 

“Thank you for everything you’ve been doing for me for the past month. Actually thank you for everything. Thank you for being by my side in good and bad times. We might had arguments earlier but I know that you’re my person Y/N” 

“It’s so nice that you see me in this light. Anything for friends right?” You joked but his face fell when he heard the word friends.

“About that” He took a deep breath. ”You’re much more for me than just a friend. It took me long enough to realise but I have strong feelings for you and I want you as my girlfriend” He grabbed your hand and you didn’t know what to say. You stood like that for a minute. 

“You don’t have a clue how long I wanted to hear those words” You chuckled. “I would love to be your girlfriend” You answered and he smiled widely at you. 

Jack placed his hand on your cheek and pulled you into a kiss. First kiss as a couple. No more kisses as friends, enemies, situationship. From now on, kisses as a relationship full of love.

[copperbadge]

Lately, it's felt like every time I've started to work on writing, I'll just be getting into the rhythm of it when I get interrupted, either by work or the cats or because the time I'd booked in the library study room is up (you can only do two hours at a time, and only four hours a week total). It was getting to the point where I kept re-reading the same chapter or so of previous work but never managing to add to it.

So I tried an experiment this past weekend -- I found a really cheap rate on a local hotel room, and on Friday I took an overnight bag and a very old laptop with limited processing power and checked into a room about a mile from home for a quasi "staycation". I unpacked and had a quiet night on Friday, as prelude to working Saturday-Sunday. The idea was to write uninterrupted by other people, pets, the presence of all my Stuff around me at home, et cetera.

I had snacks but I also bought meals out, which was nice; I don't often order in or buy out when I'm at home. The way I set up was that I would do fifty minutes of writing with do-not-disturb engaged on my phone and then ten minutes of checking email, texts, etc. since often what pulls me out of writing is a text or an email that needs answering, or the anxiety that I'm missing one that would. If I set it so that every hour I check, well, nobody's going to die if something doesn't get answered in an hour, so the anxiety isn't there, and neither is the distraction. (I found a nice app for this, review later depending on how functional it continues to be for me, but it's a like $4 app called Forest.)

It worked pretty well -- writing for an uninterrupted hour, as long as I know what I'm working on, is very functional for me. I average about two thousand words, that way, though there is a limit to the number of hours I can put in. I ended up doing two hours in the morning and one hour in the afternoon, then switched from fiction writing to clearing out my tumblr drafts and some correspondence for the fourth hour. So it went something like

Go out and get breakfast, bring back and eat in room

Change into lounging clothes and do two one-hour sessions

Go out and get lunch, eat lunch out

Bit of a rest break back in the room

Two one-hour sessions, one of writing; when tired, switch to something that requires less creativity

Go out and get dinner, bring back and eat in room

And then in the evening the plan was to watch movies or catch up on reading, but I ended up being mentally weary, so instead I did some simple tarot reading. It was less divination or even meditation than just messing around, keeping the creativity stimulated; I did a couple of Creative Writing spreads, some very brief divination spreads (I nicked a nice three-card spread here that I mentally call He To Hecuba, and just used it in general rather than for a specific question) and then invented a spread when I was starting to get irritated that the same like, five cards kept coming up, more on this in its own post.

Sunday I did one more writing session but it was less successful, I think partly because what I was writing required a lot of research and partly because the previous day I'd dumped eight thousand words into the file. (Research took longer because I brought the most garbage laptop known to man, and the browsers crash if you try to open Google Maps, but in other ways it was ideal since there wasn't much I could do on it other than write.) But I had a good breakfast, got some rest, packed up easily enough, and headed home just ahead of the rain storm.

I don't think it's something I'll be able to do in that format especially often, since the deal I got on the hotel was an anomaly and Chicago lodging, even just AirBNB stuff, is stupid expensive. But in addition to helping get some work done it was a nice break, so I'm going to look into ways I could swing it on a perhaps monthly basis, or some other way to cheaply spend an entire day alone with decent access to a bathroom/snacks and a way to come and go easily. I've looked into coworking spaces before but they tend to be prohibitively expensive and don't really have the setup I'd prefer; there's a hostel on the north side with private rooms that I might try out but it doesn't seem significantly cheaper than a hotel. I might just have to pick one weekend a month and watch last-minute hotel price cuts where they simply want to fill a room for a day or two.

Anyway, functionally I wrote almost a fifth of a novel this weekend, and one that I wasn't feeling super on fire about; I'm feeling much better about it now that I've got some established plot going and I feel like I "know" the newer characters a bit better. (Also I'm enjoying writing Simon as someone who is absolutely entranced by his love interest and clueless that what he's feeling isn't mild antipathy because they met while fighting over ricotta.) So it was a big help, although if I were to put a budget line item in the Extribulum Press ledger for "writing staycation" it would wipe out my royalties surplus very quickly.

[lukolabrainrot]

Hi there. So I've been firm in my belief that Luke & Nicola are gonna announce their relationship by telling us that they are already MARRIED. I've been conversing with a friend on here and we both agree there's been clues/crumbs that just might support the theory. Some might think it's too soon, BUT I just think their relationship was never a normal dating/courtship. Them being TOGETHER is 4-5 years in the making. Anyway, sorry it's long, but here's our thoughts on possible clues that these two may have tied the knot:

Many of them come from secondary sources, but I found these nuggets too hard to ignore. So here it goes:

8/22 N shares Polin photo. My interpretation of this photo is that this is the pivotal scene where Colin reads her letters and starts to forgive her. Penelope professes her love for him later that day. I think this particular photo was to signal they had worked out their differences and were together. I most definitely could be wrong, but I took it as a positive sign.

(I think 8/22/since deleted) JVN shares TT song and dance to Oh Happy Day. Well that's suspicious...

8/28 N and JVN like Evan Ross Katz Insta post about Catherine O'Hara meeting her husband on set and being married for 32 years. Hmmm?

8/28 Bridgerton Netflix drops the cute Lukola-coded media video on Insta.

8/29-8/30 I saw maybe 3-4 random comments on a few Insta and TT posts mentioning Cabo. In fact, there was a comment on L's Spain post up until recently that said "do Cabo next." So weird and probably not true, but I couldn't stop thinking about Cabo.

8/30 JVN posts the song "They Went for the Gun" from the musical Chicago to TT. I kept thinking what an odd song choice when talking about your remote work team. If you're a musical fan, you know that this is the routine where Richard Gere performs the puppet dance number with Renee Zellweger. The song is about convincing the media to buy in to your narrative by turning them into your puppets. I thought this could be about the JD photo gate distraction or maybe L/N were getting married and they wanted us to think otherwise? Or, this could mean absolutely nothing, lol.

8/31 This is the morning we all saw the JD in the ocean/pool story. OMG everyone panic - he's in Malta with N! I wonder if JD was excited to be on vacation and accidentally posted the pic to Insta and that set off the whole day of possible distractions? Right after, JVN posts a we're home and here's a garden update story. (I almost always wonder if his garden updates are jokingly about L/N status.) Maybe it was previously recorded, and he used it to possibly provide cover for JD's slip-up?

I know my theory is off the rails, but I kind of like the possibility of it. Maybe L/N went to Cabo for a long weekend wedding around 8/30-9/1 with just a few close friends and family? You know JD and JVN would be there. I'm not one of those photo date, location and time truthers. It seems like that is never accurate. The previously mentioned JD photo looked like a pool to me, and it reminded me of this deep blue-colored one that is at the One & Only Palmilla in Cabo. This resort has been featured on many episodes of Real Housewives and N loves that show. I also thought the Insta story from N's work colleague in Malta would be really thoughtless and unprofessional if she was actually there at that exact time. I hope it was an intentional misdirect.

8-31 Days before Chupi has been teasing their new Future Awaits Diamond Arrow eternity band. They have posts pairing it with the Claddagh ring. They release it early on this date. It looks very similar to the one N is wearing in her Polin post from 6/11/21. Maybe it's her new wedding band and she's already married? Squee!

Anyway, this is crazy delusional but it was fun to think they might have been breadcrumbs. Maybe L/N got married quietly in Galway(because she'd definitely want her mother there and her Irish roots/traditons are important to her, and now L) Spain when no one was suspecting it. Regardless, I hope Netflix paid for the wedding if there was one. Thanks so much for letting me share. I hope we find out soon! The rings are still the biggest clues of all. 🥰💍👀

This is all speculation... but interesting theories...

I don't think they are already married, but what does everyone else think?

The rings definitely mean SOMETHING about L/N 👀

[38sr]

I know this is gonna be a strange one, but I do have an industry question;

I've been looking for a job for the last 4 years post-grad, I've tried every bit of advice I've gotten over my 6 years in school and 4 years out. Is it too late for me?? Or more so what advice would you have at this point?? I'm starting to feel really negatively about this venture, and getting a day job has been just as difficult;;

Hello Sky! Hope it's okay to call you that. Ah post-grad job hunting.....I don't miss that period of my life at all. Before I begin, just want to preface that what I say going forward is strictly from my perspective/experience. I am not the absolute of the animation industry so if what I say doesn't align with you, you do not have to follow it haha. Alright, advice for post grad job hunting.... Well, I think I want to start off giving a bit of context for the animation landscape these past 4 years that has been rough for everyone (trust me it'll come back around to your question): 1.) COVID Pandemic

This one might be a confusing for some people because when COVID hit in 2020, the only facet of entertainment that was able to keep going was animation. If you remember, during this time streaming numbers went up because people were stuck at home, every studio was launching their own streaming platform (HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock, etc.) and celebrities were given animated shows because live-action had stopped dead in its tracks. This period allowed artists outside of California state to get hired because what's the point of capping the talent to the local area when we're already working remotely? In short, it was a boom. But an exponential boom rather than a gradual boom. You never wanna grow too fast because you'll crash out quicker (and harder) which leads us to our second factor.... 2.) Netflix's first ever round of layoffs in summer 2022, streaming actually isn't profitable?????

In short, this year is when Netflix's growth finally stopped and was the beginning of The Great Animation Contraction. Other studios who were looking to Netflix as a the new model of distributing/creating entertainment had realized Netflix wasn't invincible. As well as their business model. So naturally, they got scared and and take action (aka layoffs). I was affected by these layoffs while working at Marvel Studios and many artists got laid off at studios to save face from the mistake that was streaming (though at this point studios were still double downing on it). Also, around this time live-action was slowly restarting thanks to vaccines and social distancing protocols. So those celebrity studded animated productions dwindled down (and also they caused so much havoc for us animation workers because most of those celebrities had no animation production experience). Which now leads us to...

3.) Mergers everywhere! Yeah, uh, mergers fucking suck. People kept losing their jobs because companies kept absorbing into each other and multiplying their debts to ungodly dollars amounts! Apparently no one took a math class and understood if you multiply any number by zero you will always get a zero. These merger also caused more shows to get shelved and canned, making the job market even slimmer. And by then we get to 2023 and the....

4.) WGA, SAG and TAG Contract Negotiations By now, studios have realized that streaming is losing them money because it costs a butt load of money to not only create a streaming site, but also maintain it, update it, create new media for it, acquire established franchises for it, and maintain the current library. Streaming shows aren't being advertised like they used to on cable so shows don't last beyond one or two seasons. Worker contracts are becoming shorter and shorter (I had a co-worker who had a 3 month contract! Isn't that insane?). And what happens in the midst of this streaming meltdown?

WGA, SAG and TAG are gearing up for their contract negotiations. And as we know SAG (actors) and WGA (writers) did strike which good for them! But now there are no live-action jobs and once again, animation (TAG) is the only one running because our negotiations don't officially start until 2024. At this point, so many animated productions have been cancelled left and right for the sake of "saving money and cutting costs". And the effects were very much being felt in the animation work force. Some animation workers were starting to leave the state of California to more affordable cities, some getting day jobs as baristas, hell some leaving the industry all together. It didn't help that studios were kind of withholding production greenlights 'cause 1) they're greedy corporations 2) these strikes were putting pressure on them. And when we did enter 2024 for our contract negotiations, that contraction was at the tightest. The job market for animation had become so bone dry that you have director-level talent taking entry level jobs to stay afloat. But because of that new, emerging artists are blocked out from breaking in. Anytime a job listing would go up people would go in a frenzy and try every thing they could to get the job. That's how little shows were in production this year specifically. Of course, by now it is public that TAG has ratified the contract (meaning we will not strike). But up until then, studios were quite literally waiting with baited breath for the duration of negotiations. A ton of stuff was in development but nothing was getting a greenlight in fear of a strike. So many animation workers at this point have been laid off for at least 2 years, got priced out of LA county, or got so burned by the industry that they left for a more sustainable paycheck. At this point of the post you're probably thinking, "Why is she talking about all of this and not answering my question?"

And the reason for that is because I what to highlight you didn't miss your chance. You unfortunately graduated at a time where the circumstances were not good for breaking in for the past 4 years.

I'm not saying this to deter you from animation either. I just want to be transparent and honest about the current state of animation because it really has been bleak for the past 4 years. So it's not your fault but rather the industry was just in a seriously bad drought. Both emerging and veteran artists have been struggling to find work and when they do it didn't even last for 6 months. Hopefully, with the renewed contract studios will start greenlighting productions again so everyone isn't fighting for one job opening. But I can't tell 'cause I am not Raven Baxter haha. But what advice can I give during this tough time? Start developing your own projects. Things may be pretty dry right now but now is the time when you can create and develop your own original stuff that can be used in your portfolio. Short or long form, showing progress videos, just create. Because once you start working it's gonna be hard to find that personal project time (trust me I'm going through that right now haha). Also, you'd be surprised how just doing your own thing can garner the attention of someone who does have the power to hire you. How do you think I got to work on the shows I have in the animation industry? Almost all of my jobs happened because I was just creating my own thing and it just happened to match the sensibilities of a show produced by a Hollywood studio. And if I had any additional advice... it would probably be don't think that Hollywood is the only way you can tell your stories.

This one is more of....a recent revelation I've had after going through a pretty bad work experience but Hollywood isn't the only way you can be a storyteller. Whether it's comics, games, streaming, animation, or film....the Hollywood system isn't the end all be all. And by Hollywood system I'm referring to breaking into a big studio like Disney, Nick or something and trying to get your own movie/tv show to win an award or something. That system often works for a certain group of people and fails other groups. That's why I say develop and create your own thing because you might find something that fits your creative voice more than Disney or any other Hollywood studio. Maybe that's inconsiderate of me to say as someone who's been incredibly lucky to work in the animation industry for almost 8 years now....but I still wanna be honest that there are other avenues that isn't the Hollywood way. All in all, please don't give up or beat yourself up. The current state of animation within America was out your control and resulted in many artists struggling to find a job. You aren't too late. In fact, I would say now is your time to do your thing in preparation for when that hiring boom comes again (or you can just take another route to tell your stories). I hope that answered your question!

[notsoattractivearenti]

1+1 = 4 (Mason Mount x Fem!Reader)

WC: 3.0K

Warnings: mention of c-section, post-surgery recovery

A/N: i haven’t written anything since last month and i’ve missed writing so here it is... dad!Mason for me and y'all my loves 🥰🫶🏻 apologies if this isn’t so good lol tbh i wrote this for my own comfort cuz it's been an extremely rough few weeks so i kinda needed this and i’m a huge sucker for my faves as attentive partner and dad fics! not to mention this is officially the longest fic I've written + posted here! hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 apologies for any grammatical errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

—

You just woke up from a short nap after your C-section. Your baby was not supposed to be born for another month, but when your doctor saw the umbilical cord was wrapped around their neck during ultrasound, they told you and Mason that an emergency C-section had to be done the next day before your baby moved to the birth position. You recalled the day it happened.

—

You were really scared and nervous even though you have given birth before – but your first pregnancy and labor went smoothly so you didn’t exactly anticipate this. Plus, you had never gone through any major surgery your whole life ­– you just were not ready at all. You wanted another vaginal delivery but since the circumstances changed, you didn’t have a choice and all you cared about was your little one coming into the world safe and sound.

Mason was scared too, but he tried to conceal it from you. He just knew he had to be by your side all the time, as you were about to go through another life-changing moment but not as you planned. He was worried about the baby but even more about you ­– he felt so helpless because he basically couldn’t do anything but be there for you. If he could, he would make himself be the one who bears the pain instead of you.

On the way home after the checkup, you sat in the passenger seat and just silently stared at the road with your hand resting on top of your belly – subconsciously rubbing it sometimes – while thinking about the sudden news. Mason noticed how quiet you were, and as he drove he grabbed your hand to hold it tight.

“My dear, everything will be okay,” he said softly, “little peanut will be just fine. So will you.”

You sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but Mase...” Your voice was shaky, “I’m terrified. I really am...”

He took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at you, then kissed your hand and rubbed it with his thumbs repeatedly.

“I know, Y/N. But you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known and you’re going to get through this like the badass you are.” He assured you.

“And I will be with you the entire time and take care of you. I promise.” He added.

You smiled a little, still nervous but way less than before. You knew he was also worried yet he still gave you the comfort you needed. That is one of the things about Mason that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

“Also, picture how excited Gem will be when she finds out she’s going to meet her baby sibling soon!”

Before Mason even finished his sentence, the possible scenario was already playing in your head. You looked back to the time you and Mason broke the news to Gemma, your 4 year-old daughter – she screamed then cried out of happiness. She has been so excited to have a little sister or brother since and kept asking when will the baby be born. You could clearly imagine how she would react this time.

“Oh God,” you put your hand on your forehead and jokingly groaned, “she’s going to scream her ass off again isn’t she?”

He shook his head playfully and laughed. “Well that’s my daughter alright!”

—

During the surgery, Mason was sitting next to you the whole time, not wanting to let go of your hand. You were fully conscious since you had regional anesthesia, and to distract yourself from your anxious thoughts you and Mason chatted about the most random things – and it helped calming you down.

You both decided not to find out about your baby’s sex just like when you were pregnant with Gemma. Of course you two were curious, but you wanted to surprise yourselves. A boy or a girl, it doesn't really matter because you will love the baby regardless of the sex.

Suddenly, you both heard the sound of your baby’s cry. The doctor lifted them up so you two could see and excitedly announced, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”

You and Mason had your mouths wide open and looked at each other immediately once you knew you had another daughter. She came to join your little family sooner than expected, but she was healthy and all your worry was gone in an instant. Mason kissed your forehead and your lips, then whispered to your ears, “Thank you baby, I’m so proud of you.”

The nurse then brought the baby to you so you could see her up close. She put her next to your face, and you could feel tears of happiness streaming down your face – the presence of your newborn girl warmed your heart.

“Hi baby girl,” you tearfully greeted your daughter, “welcome to the world! Mommy loves you so much.”

Mason watched that moment and he was left speechless. He couldn’t stop smiling and crying as he couldn’t find the words to describe the overwhelming joy and immense love he felt at the moment. He was still processing the fact that he had another girl to love for the rest of his life. As he wiped his tears, he quietly whimpered in awe, “she’s so precious… My little peanut.”

—

As you woke up from your nap post surgery, you could feel the anesthesia started to wear off. You moaned and pressed your lips together over the pain you felt on the incision area. You couldn’t really get up because when you tried to move even a little bit, it would hurt so bad. You looked around the hospital room you were in and you saw Mason sitting on the sofa near the window while holding your newborn daughter.

He didn’t take his eyes off of her even for a second, you could tell he was so in love. This reminded you of the day when Gemma was just born – once he held her in his arms, his eyes were locked on her.

You couldn’t stop staring at him as you found this moment so heartwarming and adorable. He then took a quick look at you and when he saw you were awake, a wide smile appeared on his face.

“Oh look, Mommy’s awake,” he said as he got off the sofa to come over to you, “how are you feeling sweetheart?”

“Uh… pain...” You muttered. “But don’t worry, I’m okay.”

“Oh no… I’m sorry, Y/N.” He knitted his eyebrows, the tone of his voice showed how worried he really was. “Tell me what I can do to help ease it. I’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

You smiled as his hand was stroking your arm.

“Thank you love,” you said to Mason, “but let’s just wait for the nurse. With you two here with me right now I can handle this pain.”

“By the way… Can you stop hogging my baby and hand her over to her mom?” You jokingly asked him.

“Oops, sorry!” He laughed while gently putting her on your side.

—

Few hours later, the nurse suggested you get out of bed and try walking around for a bit. Even though you were still experiencing discomfort, you gladly took her suggestion as you didn’t like laying in the bed for too long. Mason, who wasn’t fond of the idea, expressed his concern to the nurse.

“Ma’am, are you sure it’s okay? The wound on my wife’s stomach is still fresh… Isn’t it too soon?”

“Sir, I get your concern and I can guarantee you it is necessary as it is a part of the recovery. Moving around after the surgery helps the recovery process. Don’t need to worry, we’ll check in on you every so often. If you need anything, you can call us by pushing the button next to the bed.” The nurse explained to both of you in a calm manner.

Mason sighed in relief and nodded.

“Thank you,” you said to the nurse, “this is my first time going through a C-section and my husband and I have been very anxious about it. Not to mention this was unplanned so we didn’t exactly come prepared.”

“Understandable. It is normal to feel nervous, Ma’am. We are happy to help.” The nurse acknowledged your worries.

As soon as the nurse left the room, you tried to get out of bed and grimaced while one of your hands was on your wound area. Mason was getting you a glass of water when he saw you – fright was written all over his face immediately.

“Baby!” He spontaneously yelled as he rushed over to your side and helped you. out.

“Ssshh, Mase, I’m alright,” you put your arm around his neck and tried to soothe him, “just want to get up, that's all.”

“Don’t be so stubborn!” He was shaking a little – he felt a genuine fear. “My God, Y/N, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh please, don’t be a drama queen,” you couldn’t help but make fun of his reaction. “I said I’m alright, hahaha!”

He playfully rolled his eyes in response. You laughed at him and suddenly felt stabbing pain on your wound.

“Ouch!” You shouted. “Man, I can't even laugh without feeling pain!”

“Well, I’m glad you were amused but I guess no more comedy for a while for you, Mrs. Mount.” he said as he stroked your back.

Mason gently supported your body and carefully assisted you on taking your first steps post surgery. You squeezed your eyes, ground your teeth and winced as you were still experiencing the sharp pain – especially when you moved. Mason’s heart ached seeing you struggling like this, he felt guilty even but he knew nothing else he could do but support you throughout the recovery.

“Don’t rush it, sweetheart. It hasn’t been 12 hours after the surgery,” he emphasized. “Just take one little step at the time when you’re ready, okay?”

—

“Baby, Gem is coming here with my parents!” He excitedly shouted from across the room.

Your eyes widened and a squeal left your mouth when you heard that Gemma was coming. As you were in the hospital, Mason’s parents were taking care of her. You have been looking forward to the moment when your girls finally met. She had been impatiently waiting to be able to hold her baby sibling – she even practiced with her doll all the time. 

At this point you could stand up, walk, and sit down. The incision still hurt and discomfort came and went all the time but the painkiller was working well and the bliss of having a newborn was able to distract your mind from the pain. Mason had been so attentive to you and always ready to help you. He thought you needed a day to rest, therefore with your permission he respectfully asked everyone – except your parents and siblings – not to pay a visit at the hospital and wait until you all settled at your home instead. 

“Where is Gem now? Is she close? Are they here already?” You eagerly asked.

“I don’t know,” he answered, “I’ll call my mum.”

And before he even pressed call, Debbie texted him to let him know they just arrived at the hospital. He was beaming when he saw the text, and passed the news to you.

“They’re here! I’ll go get them,” he said as he kissed your forehead and got out to pick them up.

Trying not to hurt yourself, you didn’t act too excited on the outside but you sure were within. Sitting down on your bed, you pulled the baby crib closer and carefully picked her up.

“Hey little angel,” you whispered softly into her tiny ear, “you’re about to meet your big sister. She’s been waiting for you… You’re going to love her as much as she loves you.”

She made a slight smile and you noticed that. You chuckled, you thought it was like she was also excited to meet Gemma. You gave little kisses all over her cute face, and as you did that you could feel how you were completely filled with great love and glee – one more girl has stolen your heart. 

Suddenly, you heard the door was opened, followed by a little giggle you love so much. Your heart was beating really fast – it was going to be one of the biggest moments in your life – you didn’t know if you could handle your emotions when it happened.

You saw Gemma walking in with one hand holding her dad’s and the other covering her mouth. She looked so eager to finally see her baby sibling – she didn’t know it was a girl beforehand – and you wanted to see how she reacted when she found out she had a sister. Behind them were Debbie and Tony, and Debbie had already started recording with Mason’s phone. Gemma then saw you and excitedly yelled, “Mommy!”

You giggled and waved at her in response. 

“Do you want to sit next to Mommy and baby peanut, Gem?” Mason gently asked her.

“Yes Daddy! I want to see my baby peanut now!” She responded impatiently.

Mason picked her up and sat her down next to you. When she saw her sister up close, she squealed and said “Wow, baby peanut is so small and cute!”

You introduced your firstborn to your newborn.

“Gemma, meet Iris…”

She gasped and looked at both you and Mason in disbelief.

“You have a sister, Gem!” Mason cheered.

Gemma was so happy to have a sister and she started to cry. You might have pictured this beautiful moment in your head before but what really happened was a lot better than you had imagined. It was quite overwhelming to see how emotional she was and you eventually cried as well. Mason was really touched, almost shed a tear when he saw how you and Gemma were crying. He immediately grabbed some tissues from his pocket – he was aware this was going to happen – to wipe the tears off his girls’ faces.

“Mommy… Can I hold Iris?” Gemma nervously asked, her big brown eyes were still watery but you could see the sparkles of joy in them.

“Of course, sweetie.”

You carefully handed Iris onto Gemma’s lap, teaching her how to support Iris’ little body. She was so gentle and cautious, uneasy at first as if she was afraid to hurt Iris. Mason tried to ease her since he got how nervous Gemma was – he kissed the top of her head over and over again while assuring her that she was doing fine holding her sister – and it worked out even though it took a while.

Finally feeling comfortable, Gemma gently let go of one of her hands and started caressing Iris’ cheeks. Her eyes were locked in just like his dad earlier, and you just knew she was so deeply in love with her little sister. 

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she, Gem?” Mason was beaming in awe and Gemma nodded in agreement.

Both Gemma and Mason showered Iris with kisses. The immense amount of love Iris was getting made your heart soar. You looked at your husband and your girls and thought to yourself: how did I get so lucky?

Mason then gave you a quick but passionate kiss on your lips. He looked deeply into your eyes and expressed his gratitude and appreciation for you.

“Y/N, the way you had to bear the pain to bring me two amazing kids to our life is unbelievable. You are the most incredible woman and I can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, for us… I’m so lucky to have you as my wife and the mother of our girls. I will always try to make you happy, feel loved and give you everything you need and deserve because you have given me the life I’ve always dreamed of…”

You had no words and were about to cry again. You pulled him closer and pressed your lips against his – it was a moment full of tenderness and sweet affection. As your lips parted, you two whispered “I love you” to one another.

Debbie – who was still recording – and Tony were also emotional although they were trying to keep themselves together because they thought they didn’t want to ruin the beautiful moment between your little family. You then asked the grandparents to come see the newest addition to the Mount family.

“Iris Mount… Such a beautiful name, Y/N!” Tony complimented.

“That’s perfect for her! Thank you, Y/N, for giving us wonderful grandkids!” Debbie chimed in and gave you a hug.

“Uh, Mum… I contributed too, you know. Why don’t I get a thank-you? ” Mason jokingly protested.

“Yes but you weren’t the one who carried them for months and gave birth, were you?” Debbie lightheartedly replied.

You chuckled at their banter – you held yourself back from laughing as usual because it would hurt you.

With his mother clearly winning the argument, Mason humorously backed out, pouted then stated his closing statement.

“That’s true. But Y/N and I do make the most beautiful babies.”

Debbie and Tony couldn’t help but laugh at his comeback.

—

Yes, he might not be the one who was pregnant and given birth, but he has always been an amazing and present father to Gemma. No matter how tight his schedule could be, he would always make time for her daughter. He might have missed a few milestones that happened unexpectedly but other than those he never wanted to miss out so much on his daughter’s life. When he was out of town for away games, he always asked for daily updates on Gemma and called you on Facetime in every chance he got.

Mason is an ultimate girl dad and takes great pride in it. He would dress up as princess wearing a tiara and Gemma’s little dress that barely fits him and have a tea party with her, buy a makeup set she asked for, and sometimes he would show up at training wearing a headband with the biggest bow on his head because Gemma put it on him before he left. He always said he loves being a girl dad and would do it all over again – now he really gets to do it all over again…

—

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem

[jhypeach]

Anniversary at home, just us two

pairing: jaehyun x reader warnings: kitchen sex, fingering, breast play, smut word count: 1k+ an: part 2 of anniversary at Milan. SORRY it took me a while to post. if you haven't read anniversary at Milan, it's fine. This can be read separately.

5th anniversary came faster than expected, and today Jaehyun and I are celebrating it far from each other as the tour is still ongoing. Currently, they're in Colombia. This is something familiar to me, and I have been aware of Jaehyun's nature of work ever since our relationship started. And actually, it's totally fine with me. It's just Jaehyun is the one who has yet to get used to this.

He made sure that I would receive a bouquet of roses today and even called me three times just to apologize. He'll be home tomorrow, so we can still actually still celebrate it the next day. But then again, he feels bad for not celebrating it with me (we celebrated our anniversary far from each other two times already). It was starting to annoy me; hence I ignored all of his messages full of apologies. Just how many times do I have to say that it's fine? This annoying guy, really.

I busy myself by cooking some dinner. Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. I turned off the stove for a while. The knock was becoming impatient that I had to actually shout, "Coming!". When I opened the door, I saw Jaehyun panting and clearly just landed with his suitcase on his side. "Jaehyun," I said in surprise.

He immediately hugged me and kissed my earlobes, "I'm sorry, baby, I came here as soon we landed," he said, tightening his hug. "I thought your flight is still tomorrow?" I asked him as I tried to free myself from his tight hug. Thankfully he let go and entered our shared unit.

"I begged my manager," he replied nonchalantly. "Jaehyun?!" I exclaimed. What is wrong with him?! "You weren't replying to my messages, and I thought you got mad," he explained as he sat on the couch and pulled me by my waist to sit on his lap. I immediately cling my arms to his neck. "Baby, I wasn't mad," I laughed at him. He's really getting worried that his pout showing. "I was annoyed because you kept apologizing when I clearly said it's fine. And I wasn't even lying when I said it's fine to celebrate our anniversary tomorrow," I explained as I massaged his shoulder blades. I smiled at him to assure him. This is so funny how his fans often called him snob and aloof. This peach boy they call is totally a baby in from of me.

"But since you're here, we can still celebrate our anniversary. We still have 4 hours before the day ends," I said excitedly and walked towards the kitchen counter to sit on the high chair, "Oh, before that, I actually have a present for you" He reached for the pocket of his suitcase and got something. It's a black box with the YSL logo written in black glitter in front overlayed with 'Black Opium' on it. "Happy anniversary, baby," he said, inclining his lower back on the countertop. I hugged him tightly, "Thank you, love." I let go of the hug and looked at the present. God, my boyfriend is insane. This is, like, every girl's desired perfume! "Here, smell it" I took the bottle from him, sprayed it on my neck, near my jaw, and rubbed my wrist.

It smelled so good. It smelled like an exotic blend of lush flowers. He leaned forward in my direction and smelled the perfume on my neck. "It suits you." He was so close I could actually feel his breathing. "They said when a perfume comes in contact with a body, the scent changes," he said as he grabbed my wrist and smelled it. I ran my fingers on his face admiring every feature of it.

He kissed my palm as it came into contact with his lips. He licked it. Pulling my chair closer to him. My lips came in touch with the back of my hand, pressing my palm on his lips. He kissed it one last time before pulling my hand away. He leaned forward and kissed me.

I suck his tongue, and I let it roam around my mouth. He deepens the kiss by pulling me closer by the jaw. I locked my arms around his neck, and he pulled me to stand up, leaning my lower back on the countertop. Jaehyun held my waist tightly as he slid his leg between me. I sat there as his other hand rested on the countertop to support us.

I grind on his right leg as I suck more on his tongue. He carried me by his arms on my waist and made me sit on the countertop without breaking the kiss. His hands found the hem of my nightgown and slowly pushed it upwards, exposing my abdomen. "Did you like your present?" he asked. "Uhuh," I replied and flinched when I felt wet kisses on my abdomen slowly going up.

Jaehyun bit the hem of my dress and exposed more of my upper body, including my breast. He kissed my underboob and licked it as goes for my mounds. He sucked on it while his other hand rubbed my thigh, slowly reaching my ass. He squeezed my right butt cheeks as he sucked my left nipple.

I ruffled his hair to press him more on my chest. His right hand abandoned my ass and started kneading my other breast. I could feel his tenting bulge between my core. I ground on it as he continued playing with my mound and breast, "Ah," I exclaimed as he pinched and bit both of my mounds. My toes are curling up as he keeps on playing with my tits.

He pulled my legs towards him and took off my underwear. "So wet for me. Hmm?" he said as he slid his fingers down to my core, rubbed on it, and circled his fingers. "Ahh," I moaned as he also kneaded my right tits. He inserted two fingers while staring at me. "Ah, fuck”, I could hear squelching as I clenched my walls. "Can you hear how wet you are?" He massaged my walls, not really pulling his fingers out. "Still tight as ever." "I still can't get used to it" "But you take my cock well, love," he said, pulling his fingers in and out. He finally pulled his fingers out.

Jaehyun manhandled me, making my back face him. I felt his shaft rubbing my ass. I moved my ass closer to him, "Impatient, are we?" He moved his cock on my core, teasing my entrance. "Hold your cum for me, baby. Can you?" he asked politely as he fully inserted his shaft inside me. "Ahh, Fuck… Jaehyun" I almost had my first orgasm, but I clenched to stop myself. "Not yet, love," he said, kissing my nape and thrusting me from behind.

He fastens his pace, and I swear, just a bit of thrust, and I might not control myself. "Ah! Ah!" Heaven's sake, who made his libido peak? "I'm coming," I said as he kept on thrusting me at a faster pace. "Few more, baby" I'm really close, "Ja-Jae, I'm close. Ah!" He thrust more, and I wasn't able to hold myself anymore. A little later, he came too.

I was panting, and he was still inside me. I was already closing my eyes when he showed me a velvet box in front of me. I opened it and saw a ring. "Let's get married."

[cmdrfupa]

Weird Fishes

5th installment of Upheaval

cw: all chapters and content warnings are listed in this post.

a/n: With one more chapter, I will officially have completed my first-ever series! This has been a real treat to write so thank you for reading along! Every comment, reblog and like is seen and more appreciated than you know. This isn't normal Nanami writing so to speak but I'm glad to have had so many who appreciate my approach.

Thank you for reading and see you in the final chapter!

“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.” - Angela Davis

You’d moved back in only part-time to your shared home after the reconciliation phase started. Still keeping with separate bedrooms but having dinner together at least 4 days a week.

It felt like dating but with far more trauma sharing and healing in the process. Kento was making efforts in sharing how he felt internally daily and made sure he let you know that it is nothing you did any of those days that made him feel rough when that was the energy.

He was present, active, establishing clear boundaries but opening up to be a space for the both of you.

And it wasn’t the half ass efforts a man would give when he knew he fucked up. No. He was trying because he valued the life he had with you. He was making up for lost time and keeping up with the time you now had.

It was everything you literally needed from him and it felt like shit. You needed to come clean. Soon.

The door clicked softly as you stepped inside, the warm air from inside brushing your cheeks as the cold left your face. The faint clatter of a cup in the kitchen drew your attention and you followed the sound to find Kento standing at the counter. He turned at the sound of your footsteps, his expression softening when he saw you.

“You’re back,” he said warmly, a faint smile gracing his lips. “Tea’s still warm if you’d like some to warm you up.”

You shook your head, setting your bag down on the counter. “I’m okay, thank you.”

He came closer, brushing a hand along your arm as he studied the saddened look on your face. “You look tired. Was work too much?” Your heart ached at the simple gesture, at the way he always noticed the little things.

Hesitation held weight on your tongue. The familiar, lung piercing feeling of unspoken words pressed down on you. “I had my solo session with Ootaishi today,” you responded carefully.

Kento’s brow furrowed slightly, but he nodded. “How did it go?”

You looked up at him, eyes searching his. “It was… eye-opening. I realized something about how I’ve been handling things. About us.”

Concern flickered across his face, and he reached out to take your hand, guiding you to the dining table. He sat next you, his thumb brushing gently against your knuckles. “Do you want to talk about it?” he said, his voice steady but laced with worry.

Your throat tightening causing the deep breath you took to get stuck before you exhaled. “I’ve been holding back. For so long. I thought I was helping, Kento, but… I wasn’t.” Your voice wavered, and you looked down, ashamed.

He tilted his head, his brows knitting together. “Holding back? From what?”

“From the truth,” you admitted, words tumbling out. “From being honest with you about how scared I was, about how helpless I felt watching you spiral after Shibuya. I let fear take over. I thought if I could just keep things calm, if I didn’t push too hard, you’d be okay. We’d be okay.”

His grip on your hand tightened slightly as he tried to make sense of what you were saying. “You were afraid… of what? That I couldn’t handle it? That I’d push you away?”

Tears brimming in your eyes, you shook your head. “I was afraid of losing you. Of saying something wrong, of making it worse. I thought I was protecting us, but all I did was let us drift further apart.”

The cold, almost isolating feeling of discomfort crept into your chest and your voice broke, letting out a shaky breath. “I thought if I just kept quiet, if I didn’t rock the boat, things would get better on their own. But they didn’t, Kento. They got worse.”

Kento’s gaze softened, his own chest tightening at your raw vulnerability. “You weren’t the only one who was afraid,” he said quietly. “I thought if I kept everything inside, if I buried it deep enough, I could protect you from all of it. From me.”

You looked at him, the tears that would quickly wear you down were spilling over now. “But we didn’t protect each other. We just… let the silence grow. I let myself believe that as long as you were here, as long as you weren’t drinking, it was enough. I settled for surviving when we both needed so much more.”

His jaw tightened, and he exhaled deeply, leaning back in his chair. “You’re not wrong,” he admitted, his voice low. “I stopped trying because I thought surviving was all I had left in me. I didn’t realize how much it was hurting you—hurting us.”

The room fell into a heavy silence, the weight of your confessions now settling over you like a thick fog.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, voice trembling. “I’m so sorry for not being braver, for not telling you how I really felt. I thought I was helping, but I see now that I wasn’t.”

Kento’s throat tightened as he watched you break down, your shoulders shaking as you tried to contain the sobs that now overtook you. He kneeled, his chair scraping softly against the floor, and moved to your side.

“I hated you. I hated you for hurting yourself for hurting me. I hated you because I felt like I loved you more than you loved yourself.” You teetered between composing yourself and losing your entire mind trying to get your feelings out. “I was loving myself and you while being given nothing. I hated seeing you for so long. I—,”

As he reached out to comfort you, he stopped, his hand hovering above your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he muttered suddenly, his voice thick with emotion. “I think I need to get some air. To clear my head..”

Your tear-streaked face turned up to him, confusion and hurt flashing in your eyes. “Kento—”

“I just need a moment,” he said softly, slipping on his coat. “I promise that I’ll be back.”

The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you alone in the quiet of your home.

Outside, Kento pulled his phone from his pocket, the cool air stinging his skin as he got in the car. His fingers hovered over the screen before he typed out a message.

Can I come over?

He held his phone, staring at the screen until the okay was given, driving off in hopes of the best help he could get.

Kento stood outside the door, his hand poised to knock. For a moment, he hesitated, the quiet stillness of the night pressing in around him. He inhaled deeply and finally knocked, the sound sharp and decisive.

A muffled, “Coming!” drifted from inside, and moments later, Gojo swung the door open, his usual grin plastered on his face.

“Nanamin! My beautiful friend.” Gojo leaned casually against the door frame. “If you’re here to tell me you’ve finally taken my advice on Hawaiian shirts, I’ll cry tears of joy.”

Kento huffed a breath, his irritation faint but present. “Can I come in?”

“Of course! Though I should warn you, my couch is for people who laugh at my jokes, so…” Gojo stepped aside with an exaggerated bow. “Enter at your own risk.”

Kento stepped inside, toeing off his shoes in the entryway. He followed Gojo to the living room, taking in the extravagant decor without comment.

“Nice place,” Kento muttered.

“Nice? I forget you never accept my invites over. It’s amazing,” Gojo corrected, flopping onto an oversized couch. “But I imagine you didn’t ask to come here to talk interior design. What’s up, Nanamin?”

Kento remained standing, his hands buried in his pockets. “Do you have anything to drink?”

“Whiskey? Vodka? A fine cognac, perhaps?”

“Something non-alcoholic,” Kento replied flatly.

Gojo arched an eyebrow, his grin quirking upward. “Juice it is! You’re lucky! I have no alcohol but just restocked on the real goods. Sit tight.”

As Gojo disappeared into the kitchen, Kento wandered to the large windows, gazing out at the sprawling city below. The distant lights were beautiful, but they felt impossibly far away, untouchable.

When Gojo returned, he set two glasses of passion fruit juice on the table and plopped onto the couch again, motioning for Kento to sit.

“All right,” Gojo said, folding one leg over the other. “You’re here, drinking juice, and you’ve got that ‘world’s-heaviest-burden’ look. Spill.”

Kento sat down reluctantly, his posture stiff. “I left home tonight,” he said after a long pause.

Gojo tilted his head, his grin fading. “Left, as in…?”

“As in, I needed space,” Kento clarified, his voice heavy. “Before I said or did something I couldn’t take back.”

Gojo’s gaze sharpened, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What happened?”

“She told me how she felt,” Kento said, his hands curling into fists. “About us. How she hated me when I was fucking up. About how she blames herself for not speaking up sooner. She thinks she let me fall apart without stepping in. But it’s not her fault. It’s mine. I let us get there. I stopped fighting for us.”

Gojo hummed thoughtfully, studying Kento’s tense form. “So you walked away.”

“I didn’t want to hurt her more,” Kento replied immediately, his voice tight. “I thought if I could clear my head, figure out what to say—I wouldn’t make it worse.”

Gojo let out a low whistle. “Nanamin, I’m going to say this as nicely as possible: That’s stupid.”

Kento shot him a glare, but Gojo held up a hand.

“Listen,” Gojo said. “You’ve been going to therapy, right? Both solo and couples, working through all this?”

Kento nodded reluctantly.

“And I bet in those sessions, you talk about all these feelings, right? The guilt, the anger, the fear?”

“Yes,” Kento said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Gojo leaned back, folding his arms over his chest. “So why can’t you say those things to them at home?”

Kento stared at his hands, the tension in his shoulders growing. “It’s different. In therapy, there’s necessary structure. A mediator. I can say what I feel without worrying about how it’ll land if I know there is someone there to keep us from veering off. But with just her and I…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“With her, it’s raw,” Gojo finished, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “There’s no script, no safety net. Just you and the person you love, trying to figure out how to be whole again.”

Kento didn’t respond, the weight of Gojo’s words settled over him.

“You know,” Gojo said after a moment, “you’re not as alone in this as you think. She’s scared too. She’s hurting too. But she’s still there, fighting for you. You think she’d pour her heart out like that if she didn’t want to fix this?”

Kento’s jaw tightened, his gaze dropping to the untouched glass of juice. “I don’t know if I have it in me to be what she needs. We started off so well. I fell for her and gave promises that the old me could fulfill. I’m not him anymore.”

Gojo leaned forward, his tone firmer. “What she needs is you, Nanami. Not some perfect version of you that you think she needs. Not the guy who thinks he has to carry everything alone. Just you, messy feelings and all. And if therapy’s taught you anything, it’s that sharing that mess is how you heal.”

Kento exhaled slowly, the knot in his chest loosening ever so slightly.

There was a beat of silence before Kento spoke up. “Remember at our wedding when you gave your toast? Did you really mean that?”

“Mean what?” Gojo smiled and sat up.

“That you trusted me with not only your students but with your life.”

Gojo took his glasses off and sat them on top of his head. “You have known me since we were both teenagers. While your wife is like my sister, you have seen me at my most cringiest. And my weakest. I may have made your life a little hellish as your senpai, but I knew you had potential and as an adult, I envied the life you have. So, yes.”

Both of the men sat up and Kento shook his head in disbelief. “Now that, I’m not buying.”

“But it’s true.” Gojo stood up and walked over to the ceiling high windows that faced out to the city. “Being taken seriously. Being seen as a man who makes sound choices from the beginning. You understand people. You understood me. And knowing all that we have gone through both together and separately, l knew that my trust in you would never be questioned.”

Nanami sipped his juice and stood, walking over to Gojo. “I just assess and do what needs to be done.”

“And you do it with others in mind. Not just for your own selfish desires. But because you know the world can be cruel and poisonous to anyone. Especially the weaponized and the young.”

Nanami turned to Gojo and chuckled. “We made it out of our twenties. With more scars than sense.”

“Nah. We got both! And we are damn good with the sense we have. Jujutsu High is being ran like the damn navy. With no exploitation and better support, of course.” He cheesed and threw his arm around Nanami’s shoulder. “Nanamin. You are exactly who you need to be for yourself and for your wife. Even I know that.”

Nanami drew in a sharp breath and bit on his bottom lip.

“You’re scared. I get it,” Gojo continued. “But running away isn’t going to make it any easier. Go home. Tell her you’re scared, that you’re hurting, that you’re still figuring this out. She’ll listen. That’s what love is.”

Kento looked up at him, a flicker of determination returning to his eyes. He nodded, patting Gojo on the back. “Thank you.”

Gojo grinned, his usual spark returning. “Don’t thank me yet. Go home, Nanamin. And next time, bring your own juice. And maybe a fun game! And your wife! I miss you guys.”

____________

The house was quiet. The kind of quiet where the silence was made to feel heavier with every passing moment. You sat on the edge of the couch, fingers nervously picking and twisting at the frayed hem of your shirt. The untouched mug of tea on the table had long gone cold, but you barely noticed when the only thing you could think of was your husband.

When the sound of a key turning in the lock finally broke the silence, you froze. The door creaked open, and Kento stepped inside, his face shadowed by exhaustion yet softened with quiet resolve when his eyes landed on you.

“Kento,” you whispered, relief flooding your voice as you stood.

He closed the door behind him and set his keys down with deliberate care. For a moment, you just stood there, staring at each other across the foyer, as if neither of you knew how to bridge the gap between you both.

Then Kento crossed the room in a few purposeful strides and pulled you into his arms. You melted into the embrace, hands clutching the back of his shirt like a lifeline. His scent—faint traces of soap and the crisp evening air—was a comfort you hadn’t realized you’d been craving.

Neither of you spoke at first, the quiet filled only with the steady rhythm of your breathing and his heart in your ears. When you finally pulled back, your eyes searched his face.

“You came back,” she said softly, her voice trembling with a mix of relief and lingering fear.

“Of course. I just needed a chance take everything in,” he replied, his voice steady but tinged with weariness. “I’m sorry for that. I just needed the time to think before I reacted.”

You nodded, wiping at your eyes quickly. “I was so scared you wouldn’t.”

He sighed, resting his forehead against yours for a brief moment before stepping back. “I couldn’t stay away. Not when there’s still so much we need to say to each other.”

“Kento, there’s something I need to tell you. Something I should’ve said a long time ago.”

“I’m listening, but lets sit.” he said gently, his hands still resting lightly on your arms and led you to the couch.

Your fingers fidgeted nervously as your took a deep breath. You settled back onto the couch before forcing yourself to meet his gaze. “My talk with Ootaishi made me face some harsh truths about my behavior in the past two years.”

“What type of behavior? Are you safe?”

“Yeah. Yes. I’ve just.” You exhaled deeply. “The missions where I’d have to visit Shoko after. Practically every single one. I’d been taking those dangerous missions for a reason. Ones I knew were reckless, ones I knew could get me killed but would allow me to use that anger and frustration to the fullest. And I justified it by telling myself it was for the greater good, but…”

Your voice cracked and you looked down. You couldn’t look him in the eye admitting your lowest. “It was like my own version of self harm, I was using them to run away from my guilt. From how much I felt I’d failed you. I thought if I pushed myself hard enough, maybe I wouldn’t have to feel guilt about something else. But that wasn’t fair. Not to you, not to us.”

Kento’s heart sunk at the realization. His brow furrowed and he reached for your hands, holding them firmly in his. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was afraid,” you admitted, voice thick with emotion. “Afraid you’d see how broken I am. How weak. And I thought well if I don’t say it out loud, I could keep pretending I was holding it together. But I wasn’t. I haven’t been for a long time.”

His grip on your hands tightened slightly, his gaze unwavering. “You’re not weak,” he said firmly. “You’re human. You’ve been trying to cope with something that feels impossible. I understand that more than you know.”

Your lip trembled but you managed to hold back the tears threatening to spill. “I don’t want to keep running. I don’t want to keep making excuses. I want to face this—face us—head-on. But I need to know we’re in this together.”

Kento nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. “I’ve been so consumed by my own guilt, my own fear, that I forgot how to let you in. I convinced myself I had to shoulder it all alone, but that’s not what this is supposed to be.”

He took a deep breath, his voice lowering. “I’ve been telling myself I’m working to fix this. But the truth is, I’ve been avoiding the hardest part: being honest with you. With myself. I need to do better. I need to stop using silence as a shield and start speaking up, even when it’s uncomfortable. Because if I don’t, I’ll lose you, and that’s not something I can live with.”

Your tears finally fell, but this time, they weren’t just from sadness. “I promise I’ll do better too. I’ll stop hiding behind missions and excuses. I’ll start facing my fears instead of burying them. Because you’re worth it. We’re worth it.”

Kento pulled you in the most comforting embrace. The years of anger, turmoil, unresolved trauma. You felt it dispel with each lingering moment you shared. His arms encircled you like a protective cocoon and he kissed the top of your head “We’re both worth it,” he murmured. “Everything we’ve been through—it can’t be in vain. We’ve fought too hard, survived too much, to let it end like this.”

You nodded against his chest, tears dampening his shirt. “One day at a time?”

“One day at a time,” he echoed, his voice steady.

You stayed like that for a while, holding each other as the weight of their words settled. For the first time in what felt like forever, the silence between you wasn’t filled with fear or doubt but with a shared sense of hope.

Kento rubbed your back gently, his thumb drawing small circles as he closed his eyes. “I swear on my life. We will be more than okay, dove. I promise.”

August 25th 2021 (Present)

Kento promised himself a fresh sandwich if he could make it through his solo therapy session. The thought of melty provolone and thinly sliced mortadella that was ever so slightly crisped on a kaiser role motivated him through the entire walk to Ootaishi’s office. “And those crispy kettle chips..” He murmured to himself as he entered the now very familiar office building. “I should get two sandwiches. For being early.”

His final thought giving him a chuckle as he knocked on Ootaishi’s door and waited to be brought in.

After a few moments, Ootaishi opened her office and escorted Nanami in. “Sorry to have kept you waiting. Busy day of reschedules and prepping for student evals for the new class on campus.”

“Right.”

Kento adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves as he sat on the familiar couch. The office was warm and softly illuminated, the air tinged with the faint aroma of chamomile from a diffuser in the corner. Across from him, Ootaishi sat poised but relaxed. She wasn’t in a rush; she never was. That, in itself, always made Kento feel both more at ease and slightly exposed.

He inhaled deeply, his hands resting on his knees. “It’s strange,” he admitted after a beat. “I’ve walked into cursed-infested buildings with more certainty than I feel coming here some days.”

Ootaishi smiled faintly, setting her pen down for the moment. “Healing isn’t supposed to be comfortable, Nanami-san. But the fact that you’re here speaks to how much you’re willing to face that discomfort.”

“No talisman today?” Kento looked at the coffee table. A notepad, Kleenex, water in a pitcher and a small trinket from the Kyoto visitors center.

“Just the classics today, Mr. Nanami: pen, paper, and emotions.” Ootaishi smiled and poured two glasses of water before sitting back in her seat.

“Is your domain up?”

“Do you plan on running?” The faint playful teasing made Ootaishi laugh at her own joke.

Nanami heaved out a laugh before responding. “No running. Just wanted to know what I’m up against so to speak.

The therapist jotted the days date on her notebook then looked over her glasses. “Only yourself is who you’re up against. No domains.”

He gave a small nod, a noncommittal sound leaving his throat. “Let’s get started then.”

She adjusted her glasses slightly, studying him with an air of calm curiosity. “So first, congratulations of completing the first parts of your counseling. You and your partner have made great strides as far as pinpointing solvable issues and working through them. How are you feeling about where your marriage is headed after the past few months and sessions?”

Kento paused, his hands gripping his knees slightly tighter. “Better than I thought I would, considering how far we’d fallen. My wife…” He exhaled softly, a flicker of something—relief, guilt, love—crossing his face.

“She’s far more understanding than I deserve. But we are making great strides. She told me things about a week ago that I wasn’t prepared to hear, but needed to. And in return, I shared what I’ve been running from and we were able to find some solid footing and mutual understanding in our struggles.”

“And how did that feel?” Ootaishi asked, leaning slightly forward.

“Hard,” Kento admitted. “But… freeing. It’s like we’ve been clawing through this dark tunnel for months, and now I can finally see the light. It’s faint, but it’s there.”

“And what about you, specifically? What changes have you made—and what plans are you setting for yourself moving forward?”

Kento frowned thoughtfully, his brow furrowing. “I’ve made a commitment to stop using silence as a defense. I’ve realized how much damage it’s done—not just to her, but to me. I’ve also started setting firmer boundaries at work. The idea of burning myself out to prove my worth doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I’m not as young nor as naive. And as for plans…”

He hesitated, his jaw tightening. “I want to be more present. I don’t want to be the man who’s physically in the room but emotionally on Pluto with no tether to the world.”

Ootaishi nodded, letting his words hang in the air for a moment before steering the conversation. “Your willingness to make those changes is important.” The therapist quickly wrote on the page and turned her attention back to Kento. “I want to shift gears slightly. How do you think your grandfather and mother would feel and currently about the life you lived so far?”

Kento blinked, the question catching him off guard. “My grandfather…” He trailed off, his gaze dropping to his lap. “He wouldn’t have approved of my lack of self interest at some points. He valued hard work, but not at the cost of oneself. He used to tell me, ‘Kento, a man who doesn’t know when to rest is a man who doesn’t know how to live.’ I ignored that for too long.”

“Very wise man. And your mother?”

“She wanted me to be happy,” he said simply, a faint sadness coloring his tone. “I think it hurt her to see me so disillusioned with the world. When I was recruited and sent to jujutsu tech, She tried to guide me towards balance and patience with myself, but I pushed her advice aside, convinced I knew better.

He sighed. “Now I wish I’d listened more.”

Ootaishi studied him carefully. “And who do you think you are now, Kento?”

He looked up, confusion flickering in his eyes. “I’m not sure I understand the question.”

She leaned forward slightly, her gaze steady. “Who are you—not the sixteen-year-old boy sent to train, not the man who ran from his responsibilities, and not the sorcerer who dedicated his life to a dangerous, often thankless profession. Who is Nanami Kento?”

Kento’s lips parted slightly, but no answer came. He leaned back into the couch, eyes narrowing in thought. “I… don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” Ootaishi said gently. “Let me reframe it. Who are you, outside of your roles and obligations? When the work attire comes off, when the duties are set aside, who remains?”

Kento swallowed, his voice quieter now. “I’m not sure there’s much left of that person. I’ve spent so long being what I thought others needed me to be that I’ve forgotten how to just… be.”

Ootaishi nodded, her expression soft but firm. “That’s not unusual for someone in your position. But it’s something we need to work on, because you’re more than your past, and you’re more than your job. You need to rediscover yourself—not as someone’s subordinate or savior, but as Nanami Kento.”

He nodded slowly, the weight of her words sinking in.

“Do you still enjoy life here in the city?”

His answer was in the way he lips pursed before sucking them in.

After a moment, she asked, “Do you think your surroundings hold you back?”

His brows furrowed again. “My surroundings?”

“The city you’ve returned to and stayed in,” she clarified. “Your workplace, the people you interact with. Many of the most traumatic moments of your life have happened here. Do you feel that staying in this environment is helping you heal—or hindering you?”

Kento hesitated, his jaw tightening. “I’ve thought about it,” he admitted. “There’s a part of me that wonders if leaving would make things easier. But there’s another part that feels like leaving would be running again.”

“Not necessarily,” Ootaishi said carefully. “Sometimes, choosing to leave is an act of self-preservation, not avoidance. Healing doesn’t always mean staying in the same place where the pain began. It means doing what’s best for your well-being, even if that means stepping into the unknown.”

Kento let her words settle, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I’ll think about it,” he said finally, his voice steady but low.

“Good,” she said with a small smile. “That’s all I ask.”

The session had started winding down, the weight of Ootaishi’s questions settling deeply into Kento’s mind. Yet, as he sat there, something nagged at him, a curiosity he couldn’t shake. He glanced at her, studying her calm, composed demeanor.

“Ootaishi,” he began, his voice steady but tinged with curiosity. “Can I ask you something personal?”

She set her pen down, folding her hands in her lap. “Of course.”

“Why did you choose this?” he asked, gesturing vaguely to her office. “Why become a therapist? You’re a special-grade sorcerer. You could’ve done anything with your technique. Why this?”

Ootaishi’s lips quirked into a dim smile, as though she’d been expecting the question. She leaned back slightly, her gaze softening as she considered her response.

“It wasn’t an easy decision,” she admitted. “For a long time, I thought my purpose was clear: to use my power to fight, to exorcise, to protect. It’s what we’re trained to do, isn’t it? To throw ourselves into the fire, again and again, until there’s nothing left. Especially when you hail from a known family with an often high regarded technique.”

Kento nodded, his throat tightening slightly at her words.

“But then I realized something,” she continued. “No matter how many curses I destroyed, no matter how many battles I survived, the real scars—the ones that lingered in the people around me—couldn’t be touched by brute strength or flashy techniques. I started noticing how many sorcerers were walking around carrying wounds no one could see, wounds they didn’t know how to heal. And I was one of them.”

Her eyes met his, steady and unwavering. “So, I made a choice. I decided that if I was going to dedicate my life to something, it wouldn’t be to fighting battles that only ever seemed to grow larger. It would be to helping people fight the ones inside themselves—the battles that truly matter.”

Kento’s jaw tightened, his gaze dropping to his hands. “But doesn’t it feel like giving up? Turning away from the front lines?”

“Not at all,” Ootaishi said, her tone gentle but firm. “It feels like stepping into a different kind of battlefield. One where the goal isn’t destruction, but restoration. And let me tell you, Nanami-san—it’s far more terrifying. But it’s also far more rewarding.”

He was quiet for a moment, her words sinking in like water into parched soil.

“Why do you ask?” she prompted, tilting her head slightly.

Kento hesitated, his voice low when he finally spoke. “Tokyo, staying in this life. I’ve been trying to convince myself that leaving would mean abandoning my responsibilities, running from my past. But I just want to find a way to live a life that doesn’t feel like a constant fight.”

Ootaishi nodded, a small smile touching her lips. “You don’t owe anyone your suffering, Nanami. You have the right to choose a life that nourishes you, rather than drains you. Sometimes, stepping away isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.”

Her words settled over him like a gentle weight, grounding yet freeing. For the first time, the idea of leaving Tokyo didn’t feel like failure. It felt like possibility.

As the session came to an end, Ootaishi stood, offering him a quiet smile as he rose from his chair. “Take your time with these decisions,” she said. “But remember: healing isn’t about where you’ve been. It’s about where you want to go.”

Kento nodded, his expression thoughtful as he stepped toward the door. “Thank you, Ootaishi-san. For everything.”

“Of course,” she replied, her voice warm. “I’ll see you both in two weeks.”

As he left her office and stepped out into the cool evening air, Kento felt a flicker of clarity in his chest. The path ahead was still uncertain, but for the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel insurmountable.

[spacelazarwolf]

i think you’re absolutely right about the cuntboys/make trans guys pregnant shit. it made me so uncomfortable too.

pregnancy has always been a giant fear of mine, and there are people out there who genuinely think forcing trans men to get pregnant will ‘fix’ us or some shit. like, sure, it’s fine to joke abt stuff that affects you, but that post didn’t read all that jokey to me tbh.

and the cuntboy thinf. seriously? that’s essentially just pushing us- (sorry can’t remember the right word for it lol) but it’s just pushing us down to labeling us by what we were born with and differentiating us from cis men

it's just blowing my fucking mind to watch them try to backtrack and claim it was "just joking about kinks between friends" because that is literally not what happened. they were talking specifically about a group of "cuntboys" they don't like, said that they should make those "cuntboys" they don't like "fat and pregnant" and then joked about making them "breeders." if they were joking about a kink between friends, they'd have made a separate post and used language that made it clear they were talking about themselves. they didn't though bc they were literally talking specifically about a group of people they don't like and specifically weaponizing a terrifying and traumatizing experience a lot of trans ppl who can get pregnant never ever want to experience.

and i put this in the tags of my other answer, but like. when roe v wade fell, i waited on the phone for 4 hours with the "women's health clinic", the only clinic in my area that took medicaid, to try to get an appointment to get sterilized and it took another two weeks just to get it confirmed. i remember the guy i was hooking up with texted me the day the news broke and asked if i wanted to stop hooking up because he knew how huge a fear pregnancy is for me. i had been trying to get sterilization surgery for years but kept getting sent away, and finally i had to just tell the doctor i had my appointment with "listen dude i am almost 30 i know what i want if i get pregnant and i can't get an abortion my only option will be to kill myself and i really want to fucking live so please give me this surgery." insurance ended up not even covering a hysterectomy so i had to opt for tubal removal. because even being on hormones and having a clear record of asking over and over again for sterilization wasn't enough to grant me bodily autonomy, i had to give them no other option. i got misgendered the entire time i was at the hospital and don't even remember how i got home because i was barely out of anesthesia and conscious when they loaded me in my sister's car.

a pregnancy is a death sentence for so many trans people. and for those that end up going through it, or even for those who want to go through it, pregnant trans people are treated horrifically. if your kid comes out with birth defects, you can be prosecuted for child endangerment because testosterone can cause birth defects.

you do not fucking make jokes like that about other people. and you do not turn around and tell the people you made rape/forced pregnancy jokes about that they're being too sensitive or that they're somehow making you uncomfortable for calling you out on your disgusting and misogynistic joke. this is not fucking 2016 reddit you do not have to be an edgelord to be accepted as one of the guys. making literal rape jokes is not protecting trans women. it's you being a misogynist. i am not changing my mind on this.

[strangerchurby]

Edit: Ooops, I forgot to change the words up here. Anyway, we finally catch up. Yay!

Original Idea/Steve Post by @shieldofiron

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ Here ]

Or Read on Ao3

Turns out that reckoning time in the same way that people do is harder as a wolf. Especially as a wolf lingering on the edges of human society in a cursed place like Hawkins, Indiana. Hell, time gets harder still when there were close to no anchors to the life he had lived before. He's unmoored from the things that used to help him measure things happening. Not that he doesn't notice days starting or ending, just that the math of them adding up matters less.

Instead of counting down until he can return to California or measuring time in work days versus days off, his life distills into a flow of shorter and longer periods. Periods of hunting with his crows guiding him to viable prey that a single wolf his size can take down, periods of stalking the edges of town, hoping for some information, periods of rest where no one will find him.

At least he thinks no one will find him there, what with the fact that the cabin in the woods seems pretty abandoned. He gets why, within moments of setting paws inside some days after his own funeral. Beyond the lingering scent of the flesh-beast that nearly killed him, that had possessed him, he recognizes the inside. Never been there before in his life, not in person, but he knows the place. Maybe it had been the possessor that took his form into the girl's mind, into her awareness of her personal space, but Billy had still been there. He had wept at knowing the pain that they would inflict on her.

He sees now the ruin they made of what would have been her home. The place she belonged, but had lost because of him. She's gone now, like the Byers. But their place has signs that someone else might buy it, and the cabin rests abandoned, save for his own presence. Even the crows don't come inside, regardless of the hole in the roof and the broken windows.

They're smarter than him, so he gets that. But there's something comforting in curling up on the couch that was too small for his growing form. Sure he's knocked it over once or twice, but the cushions are still comfortable and they're some of the only comfort the world has for him these days. The only way of reminding himself that once, a lifetime ago, he had been a boy living in this town.

Perhaps the strongest promise that he really was once Billy Hargrove is the fact that he just can't bring himself to leave Hawkins. Can't stop himself from staying, from listening for whispers, from trying to catch a glimpse or the scent of a girl that has already replaced him. Her name is getting foggy in his head, so many things are getting foggy, but still he stays. Even in the face of all of the danger, and the certainty his instincts insist that the thing that hurt him still lingers here, he stays.

So time passes in that way it does. Summer reaches its peak and falls away. Fall steals in around them, less brutal this year with the thick coat of fur keeping him warm. With each week he finds he's getting bigger, stronger, faster, to the point where hiding gets harder and going about at night is one of the few options he has. Very little changes beyond the length of the day.

Until suddenly, something does.

Truth is he didn't know the Harrington house ran up against the woods, but when he comes across it one evening, he knows immediately what it is. While his nose guided him there over the scent of grilling meat, it kept him lingering, hidden in the woods for something different. A familiar boy with fluffy hair that leaves his heart torn between hunger and anger. Somewhere inside he can remember why, but not in the moment. Not as he watches the boy turning meat over (chicken, god he misses chicken) on a grill. There's shouting from inside, annoying voices of children that are... familiar?

The boy is busy juggling too many things, and Billy licks his chops as he watches meat being loaded onto a plate. A very loaded plate. A plate that, as the guy turns quickly, upsets a piece of chicken that falls. He watches as the boy sighs and then keeps moving inside.

A few seconds once the boy goes inside is all it takes. His footfalls go from utterly silent amid the leaf litter and bare grass to clicking as his nails clatter across the concrete surrounding a covered pool, but he's certain no one inside notices. Another moment to snatch the chicken breast and he's turning to flee back into the trees.

For all that the rush of blood and fresh meat strengthens his body, the taste of that chicken breast does something else entirely. The black pepper and salt, the hint of something lemony, it's all so distinctly human that if Billy could moan in pleasure, he would. As it is he feels more himself than he has in... weeks? Months? God he can't even tell anymore.

He's finished devouring the meat when the boy, when Steve Harrington, comes back outside, shouting something about cleaning up. But of course Harrington pauses, looks at the spot on the concrete that the now missing meat had fallen. Really, Billy regrets he didn't have more time to lick the area clean. At least he can lick his chops, get the lingering traces of the humanizing taste off his fur.

"Hey Dingus? Is everything okay? Do you need help?"

Billy doesn't know the voice that calls, but it's female. Harrington looks one more time at the spot then turns back to head inside. Before Billy trots off on his own for a bigger meal he hears the guy's answering words.

"Yeah. But can you ask around if anyone's lost a dog? I think a stray got to the chicken I dropped."

Stray sounds about right to Billy, but he's definitely not the sort anyone is expecting.

From there it turns into a strange sort of routine. It's not everyday at first, but two days later when he returns to the house there's something surprising there. No Harrington this time, but definitely a change. A bowl lies a bit away from the door he saw Harrington go through, and of course Billy has to investigate. What might Harrington leave out for a stray.

The answer is kibble. A bowl of kibble. Annoyed Billy takes the edge of it between his teeth and flips the bowl over. He does take a second to drink his fill from the water dish, but then he's back into the woods. At least Harrington will probably make some racoon happy or something.

Thankfully the next day there's a better offering. A plate of shredded chicken. Some of the crows get to it first, but he doesn't let that stop him from eating every last bit he can and licking the plate clean.

From there it becomes a routine. As the evening gets late, and only if the BMW is in the driveway, Billy goes to linger in the woods. He makes sure to move just enough to maybe let Harrington catch sight of fur in motion, his theoretical stray. That almost guarantees a plate of chicken outside within half an hour. Never as beautifully seasoned and anchoring as the first time, but it's wonderful.

It goes on for days, or weeks. Time is still a mess. But it goes on until it changes. Fuck, how often was it that Harrington leads to a change for him?

There Harrington sits, looking out over the covered pool. Tonight there's no offering of meat, which is an annoyance all its own. That should be enough to send Billy off to knock some trash cans over for the crows before retreating to his cabin shelter. But there's a scent in the air.

Sorrow has a scent. Loneliness has a scent. Billy knows they both know. So he can pick them out coming off of Harrington. They're scents that Billy knows stink up his own den. In the moment Harrington is a mirror to him, and it makes Billy take the first step forward out of the trees. The motion is enough to catch attention, and he sees those doe brown eyes (and he's so certain of that description now) staring at him. Wide eyes, fearful eyes, prey eyes. And yet...

"H-hi," Steve ventures through the surge of fear scent. "You uh... wouldn't be planning on killing me, would you? Cuz I promised my friend Max I'd drive her to the arcade tomorrow and I'd hate to miss it."

Max. That's her name. The girl with pale colors and summer bright hair. His girl. His pack. No. No that's not the right word. Billy cocks his head to the side as he tries to think of the word. Thinking doesn't keep him from stepping forward though, from getting closer to Harrington.

Closer and closer like the guy is a magnet and now that he's this close Billy can't pull away. Forward step by step with the fear swelling but Harrington doesn't move. He's brave, for a pretty boy. He's not running, which is for the best because Billy doesn't know if he could keep down the wolf side's desire to chase. The stillness means Billy gets close, so very close. Close enough that if he let his tongue flash out he could lick Steve's-

And of course Harrington ruins it by scrambling back a few steps. The motion drives his muscles to tension, makes his head scream to lunge. His whole body shakes with the effort of keeping his poor, cold pads on the frosted pavement below them. Staying still is a battle against instinct, and Billy's determined to win.

This is Harrington. He knows Harrington. Harrington knows Max. They've both seen strange things. Maybe... maybe they'll understand. Maybe they can help him. So many moons have come and gone. During the fullness Billy goes out and sits and stares up until the moon sets, and when it leaves he's still like this. The change is never shed from his skin. He's trapped in this form like he was trapped in his head. A victim to his survival both times.

Maybe Harrington can help fix that, if Billy can only make him understand. Make him believe.

Which is when he remembers it. The only sign of his former humanity on him. Billy lowers his head, twisting it to the left as he does. Again his instincts scream, he's practically baring his neck. He can't do that. It's almost as weak as showing his belly.

All for naught, because Steve just stares.

Annoyed, frustrated, caught up in another swell of grief, he shakes his head. He wonders if he has lost the earring, but his chief crow was just pecking at it that morning. If he could just get Harrington to see it then maybe...

The gasp of breath tells Billy that Steve's caught sight of the metal. Now he just has to hope it means something to the guy.

It's at least enough to cause a trembling hand to raise, to reach out, to gently touch sensitive skin coated in soft fur. Then there's a gentle fumbling followed by a tugging as Harrington works the clasp of the hoop open. The metal is hauled free, the last sign of Billy's former life, and he watches as the metal is held up between them. Gold, like the necklace he used to wear. He'd never bought real silver jewelry in the past, it always made him itch. Makes him think now that maybe that's got something to do with what he is. But he's also glad because it's so clearly a man made object.

His eyes are riveted to Harrington's face as the older teen stares, touches, processes.

"Billy?"

And fuck it feels so good to hear someone say his name to him. Frankly he wants to lunge forward and lick that stupid handsome face in thanks for understanding. Instead he does his best to remember what he used to be like. What Harrington will expect from him. He tilts his head and blinks, slowly. Does that convey 'obviously, asshole' well enough? He hopes it does.

"We gotta call Max," Steve whispers.

For all that he doesn't know that he wants the brat to see him like this, the very potential in the words and the belief behind them fills his heart with hope.

Now, how to convince Steve to make him some more of that chicken while he tries...

At least that's a problem that is less distressing to try and figure out.

And that's it. Those are the thoughts that I had from the original post. Took a while but I got them all out.

[lunapwrites]

Segment: Like the last one, but different lol

(edit: this is a mostly-duplicate of segment 4 that was posted accidentally but I'm keeping it for reasons.)

Looking back, James thinks some days should come with a warning label. Something to say: maybe stay in bed today. Try again tomorrow.

But that morning, he didn’t suspect a thing. Had no way of knowing.

He met with Lily first: their usual rendezvous point at the old bridge, legs dangling over the edge as they shared the last of his cherry PopTarts, the last of her cigarettes, the story of how the big news had gone over with their parents.

“Could have gone worse,” Lily said, sighing. Pursed her lips to wiggle her septum ring. “Mom cried a lot, Dad left the house, Petunia called me a slut… so, you know, normal Friday night.”

He winced. “If it helps, first thing my mom did was ask when you were moving in.”

Lily huffed out a laugh, flicking ash. “I love your mom. What’d your dad say?”

“Not much, really.” James shrugged. “He was happy for us, though.”

What his dad really had been was quietly disappointed, though he’d still offered to help out while they got their feet under them, offering them both jobs at the office because you can’t support a family on a musician’s salary, Jamie.

Which was currently true, yes, but it didn’t mean he didn’t have PLANS, okay?

Lily nudged him. “When’s the gig?”

“Uh, I think Pete said doors are at six? Sooo…”

“Five, got it.” She stood, brushing off her dark leggings. “Remus isn’t driving again is he?”

James suppressed a shudder; Remus was barely able to fit them and their gear in his beat-up Ford as it was, but adding in his habit of speeding and general disregard for traffic rules… "God, no. Pete's got the van back from his dad. No more TARDIS."

"Thank fuck."

They finished their cigarettes in companionable silence, stubbing the butts out in near unison. Lily held her hand out for his, tucking their discards into an old Altoids case she kept for just this reason, slipped back into the pocket of her hoodie. She stared down at her own body like she could memorize the shape, burn it into her brain.

James took her hand. "You gonna be alright playing tonight?"

"Yeah." She managed a brave smile. "I'll be fine."

She probably would be. Lily was tough like that — tougher than him at any rate.

He was about to ask if she wanted him to help her pack when something behind him caught her attention, green eyes widening in alarm.

She smacked his shoulder. "James, look." Pointed towards the other side of the bridge — or past it, rather, down to the riverbed below. "Do you see that?"

And yeah, he did.

Looking back, he's not sure what made him jump down there. A hunch, maybe. Instinct. But what he was sure of was the fact that when he reached the body that had washed up on the riverbed, legs still floating in the freezing water, that body was still somehow alive.

Lily called for an ambulance, put the dispatcher on speaker so he could walk James through CPR — just keep going till they get there — and he kept time by singing Another One Bites the Dust under his breath. Black humor if he'd ever heard it, protocol or not. He studied the boy's face, deathly pale as it was, framed by half-frozen ringlets of black hair, marred by a hellish bruise on his left cheekbone. A trio of tiny moles curved along his right. Familiar.

The paramedics came, got the boy stripped down and wrapped up in one of those little tinfoil blankets, looking more like a burrito than a maybe-corpse. But he was alive — for now at least. James hoped he'd make it.

The cops hung around, poked around the riverbed. Asked James and Lily for their statements, and no, never seen him before in my life.

It was Lily who voiced the thought nagging at the back of his brain, as he walked her home. "God, he looked just like Sirius, didn't he?"

-

They agreed not to talk about it for now — not because the cops had asked, but because it was bad enough half the band was involved to begin with. No need to freak everyone out over nothing. Because it was nothing. Probably.

Lily packed a few bags and passed them out the window to him, trying to get as much out as they could before her dad came home from work, and he squirreled them away in the spare bedroom across from his. Not because his parents had any puritan ideas about them sleeping in the same bed — no point now, anyway — but rather because he thought she'd like her own space, separate from his.

Pete picked them up at four, Sirius with his feet up on the dash, Remus half hanging out the window behind them like a lanky sheepdog with his stupid shaggy mullet and even stupider mustache that no one — literally no one — could pull off but him. He drummed his hands against the side of the door, grinning.

"Hurry the fuck up, Potter! Things to be, people to do—"

"I'll fucking bite you," James growled, staggering slightly under the weight of half his drum kit. Sirius jumped out of the front seat, coming round to take the cases out of his hands and shouting at Remus to get off his ass and help (which he did, swatting Sirius firmly on the ass as he passed.)

The gig was at some little dive bar in the city — one of those ones that actually had a stage in the back, not like the last time, Pete swore. They’d been stuck in a corner awkwardly for that one, like what the fuck is up Dennys kind of awkward, playing asses to elbows. They couldn’t play like that — Sirius, especially, needed room to breathe.

If you asked any one of them what they played, you’d get a different answer. Sirius would say what if jazz had teeth? Remus would give you about fifteen different subgenres no one’d ever heard of where one would suffice — like, seriously dude, what the fuck is Djent?. Lily would leave it at shit, I dunno, metal I guess. Peter called it progressive if people didn’t know genres, math rock if they did.

James just called it music.

They’d all been band nerds, and later jazz ensemble nerds, and most of them played five or six different instruments except for Remus, who played guitar. And anyone could be forgiven for thinking that made him the weak link of the band somehow — I mean the rest of them could all switch instruments at the drop of a hat, and did sometimes just for shits and giggles. But the truth of it was that they were all just dressing on the sides: Remus was the meat and potatoes. He worshipped at the altar of Tosin Abasi, studied John Petrucci til his fingers fucking bled. Sirius and Lily played guitar; Remus was a guitarist.

This wasn’t to say that they couldn’t keep up, of course. But no one was under any illusions. The crowds they’d been attracting came to watch Sirius and Lily because they played well and they were both insanely hot. But they came to watch Remus to see the face of God.

And sure, Remus could get a bit pretentious about music in general, but he never hogged the stage. Never tried to run away with songs, just kinda grooved in place and let Sirius live out his virtuosic wet dreams in the spotlight, let Lily prove that yes, bass does deserve to be heard, #justiceforjason. They were loud and brash and percussive and strangely symphonic. And James got to accompany them, got to sit there behind his kit and somewhere between the double bass and the high hats would find himself slipping into a rhythm with them as they just fucking jammed. For two hours.

The ride home was quiet, Lily dozing in the front seat with her head against the window. Sirius lay across the backseat, Remus standing in for his pillow, James his footrest. Neither of them minded.

"You've been quiet today," Sirius observed, eyes closed. James still knew it was directed at him.

"Yeah. Long day."

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

James caught Lily's gaze in the mirror. She sighed, leaning back against the headrest.

"I moved in with James today."

"I thought you wanted to get your own place first," Remus asked, frowning.

"I did," she allowed, "but I didn't really feel like growing a whole ass person by myself, so…"

The whole van went dead silent as three sets of eyes snapped to her face, Pete whipping around in his seat to gawk.

"Wait, what—?"

"Dude, eyes on the fucking road!" Remus shouted, kicking the back of the driver seat just in time for the rumble strip to prompt Peter back into the correct lane.

Sirius had taken the opportunity to sit up, pulling himself forward by the backs of both seats. "Hang on, are you really?" he asked her, wide-eyed, gasping as she nodded. He turned to look at James, beaming. "No shit?"

"Yeah," James said, suddenly feeling a bit shy.

Remus shot him a wicked grin. "Swim team captain, huh?"

James kicked him in the leg, earning a sharp jab himself, the two of them continuing to trade blows around a cackling Sirius until Pete let out a sharp whistle.

"Yo!" he snapped. "Keep that shit up and I'll turn this car around."

"We're on a bridge," Lily pointed out, laughing.

"Off the bridge then, I'm not fucking picky."

"Oooh, maybe we'll end up like that kid they fished out of the river earlier," Sirius said, stretching out on his back.

"Nah, he wouldn't kill us," drawled Remus, "right Petey?"

"Debatable."

"He wasn't dead," James muttered, shooting a dark look at his friends.

Sirius scoffed. "Yeah, okay. It was freezing this morning, no fucking way he survived."

No, he did," Lily agreed.

"How do you know?"

"Because James and I found him."

The questions came rapid-fire after that: when and why and what happened and yeah I guess you did have a long day, holy shit — you okay?

He didn't know, truth be told.

But he and Lily took turns telling the story, and James described the boy’s face, the way that, for a moment, he’d thought he’d dragged Sirius out of the river. And Sirius sat up straight at that, something fierce and hungry in his face that James didn’t recognize.

“Three moles along his cheekbone, like this,” he clarified, tracing a small triangle in the exact spot. “You’re sure?”

[sophiamarieispinkbunny-chan]

Yor and Anya could both be of Royal Ancestry in Ostania. (Long Post Again, Sorry!)

It has a little connection to the first theory I’ve post about Yor being a subject of Project Apple. You can read it here.

Just some take I have on this scene on Chapter 4 (Because it always makes me wonder)

Notice how the three of them immediately caught Henderson’s attention just by walking? Like they haven’t done anything remarkable yet Henry said he could sense some elegance in them. It was only them that he pointed out. I can’t help but think about the reason why Henderson said this.

My take is that the three of them used to be part of elite and prestigious families.

Loid’s family in the West, in Luwen, seems to be well off judging by the way they dress, their home, and his father’s job seems to be important too.

But if it wasn’t the case, Loid can still be elegant because he strived to be perfect in everything he does. He was trained how to act elegantly in order to blend in with other people. But I stick by my theory that he came from a rich family from the West.

But being elegant wasn’t taught to Anya and Yor. It’s like for both of them, they had that tinge of elegance in their blood.

Then come through this theory about Anya being a part of monarch/royalty. If that theory is true then that must be the reason why Henderson saw something with Anya.

Then how about Yor? She also came from a prominent family. I’m going to make a wild guess that she’s also a monarch. A hidden monarch like my theory with Anya. 

I would like to consider her back story to be the same as Sleeping Beauty or Little Briar Rose since it is evident that this fairytale inspired most of Yor’s characters (The needle like weapon, her surname, the roses). So what if the royal family were the first ones that have these abilities? The first experiments, after the monarchy was taken down, are the remaining members of the monarch family.

But her parents took them and hid them faraway where no harm would ever come to them, just like how the fairies kept Aurora hidden in the forest, keeping the fact that she’s a princess/royal. But at the end of the day, despite them keeping her away from the spindle, the needle (being used because of her ability) she still ended up taking the bait in the end after they died (Like how Aurora still ended up getting pricked by spindle despite all her parents’/kingdom’s parents  effort to protect her).

Yor has been under a curse since then, like asleep and paralyzed, devoid of emotions. But then, came the prince who saved her life and made living worth it for her again (If she never married Loid, I really think she would just accept death in that cruise arc battle he had with that Katana guy).

Ah! just think if Loid’s real name has something with Philip, the same as Briar Rose/Aurora’s Prince’s name in the Disney movie! What if it’s also a surname like Yor BRIAR. Loid could be James (From 007 James Bond) and Philip, James Philip! Just imagine, it would be genius right? Loid’s name could be anything though, but I would totally flip it was that, just the parallel and the complement of his real name to Yor!

Anyway moving on….

If Yor is also a monarch like Anya then does that mean that she’s blood related to Anya? That is what I don’t have a theory about. Maybe if I have the time, I’ll reread the manga from the start again and find some details that can help me elaborate this theory or debunk it.

These are all speculations of mine that I wanted to share. Thoughts that I can’t help but think of regarding what could be Yor’s backstory because we know nothing besides her parents both died when they were kids and that was all.

I know these might be far-fetched and don't make sense and the story can’t be that complicated but hey, the possibility of these being canon is not zero.

[mulletpermsicantlookaway]

The Jockification of Jeremy, Part 4: Chase Starts Changing

(For Parts 1-3 and the earlier stories on which this was based, see the earlier posts)

Chase and I ate lunch together again that day. He attacked his lunch with gusto, and he had seconds again. I’d never seen him eat so much, but when I commented on it, he said that he was always hungry after being sick. To me, he was already starting to look a little bigger, and taller, but I said nothing about that.

His voice wasn’t hoarse or squeaky any longer, but he was still clearing his throat a lot because he thought he sounded as if he had a cold. In reality, he didn’t sound sick at all. His voice was simply lower, but he hadn’t realized it yet. I thought it was cute and very sexy. He kept saying things like, “I still sound sick” and “I sound weird” in a husky baritone that did not go at all with his small frame. I was sure his voice would get lower and sexier still; he was nowhere near being a bro yet. The thought of the changes he was going to go through filled me with an almost unbearable anticipation. I was impatient for him to complete his transformation, and yet I wanted to savor every step along the way.

We didn’t see each other that evening. I had wrestling practice, but the next day was Friday, and I had a basketball game in the evening. Chase was going to come to the game to see me play, and then he was going to spend the night at my house.

After I’d showered and changed, I walked him home with me. Up in my room, I unzipped my duffel bag and took out my dirty clothes. “Here’s a little present for you, babe,” I said, holding out my jockstrap.

“Honestly, Jeremy. That is so nasty! Do you really expect me to wear that?”

“I just thought you might want some fresh essence of Jeremy. It’s the one I wore during the game. How’s the other one I gave you doing?”

“Oh yeah, I have that. I washed it. You’re right; they really do shrink up. I can wear it just fine now. It’s weird; even though it’s clean, I just keep imagining I can smell that jock smell. It just seems to stick with me all the time, even when I’m not wearing it. I even imagine I smell it right after I get out of the shower.”

I didn’t tell him that it really hadn’t shrunk at all; his package was noticeably starting to fill it out. “Why don’t we get our homework for the weekend done now, before it’s late, and then we can relax and have some fun.”

Chase agreed eagerly. He knew exactly what I wanted to do for fun.

After we’d finished, we played some video games, and we went to bed late. It was a weekend, after all. I got Chase to wear my game jock to bed. “It’s funny how it’s all warm and tingly when I get it from you. But are you sure you don’t want to throw this in the hamper? It’s a little, well, gamey. Kind of makes me feel a bit light-headed.”

“You’re just not used to jock smell the way I am, bro.”

“Sure, Jeremy,” he said. “It’s your room,” he yawned. “If you can put up with it, so can I.” He was getting sleepy. Soon we were both out.

The next morning, I woke up before he did and took a good look at him in the early morning light. He was starting to show signs of some muscle tone. His legs were noticeably hairier, his package much larger, especially his balls. His armpits were a jungle, and soft hairs were starting to grow up to his belly button and around his nipples. His Adam’s apple was bigger and sharper than ever, and his face was looking scruffy enough to benefit from a shave. I’d better talk to Coach Sanders again on Monday, I thought. If Chase was starting to change this rapidly, he might be ready to talk to the coach before the week was out.

After he was up and out of the shower, he said in deep, smooth, sexy rumble, “Dude, have you, like, got any mouthwash or anything like that? I don’t know what’s up with my voice, but maybe gargling will help.”

Gargling didn’t help, but I just kept telling him that he sounded fine to me, which he did. I loved his sexy new voice, but Chase kept thinking he sounded weird. He went home after lunch. As it happened, I had a wrestling meet in the afternoon, and, while we texted several times, I didn’t see him again until Monday.

On Monday when I met Chase for lunch, I was almost shocked at how quickly he was changing. His pants were noticeably tight and short on him, and his shirt was tight as well. A few of the bros were looking at us funny, some of them with knowing looks. James and Steve were obviously trying not to look, but Derek and Tyler were just as obviously staring. With all that, Chase seemed not to notice his ill-fitting clothes. He seemed mostly like himself, but he acted a little spacey, as if he was having trouble concentrating. I decided I’d better talk to Coach Sanders right away. I managed to catch him between classes. He agreed that he should try to talk to Chase either tomorrow or the next day. He also assured me he would make his own observations before the end of the school day.

I didn’t hear from Chase at all that night, which was a little worrying. But the next morning, he texted me right before school: “Can u walk me to skul? Feel strange.”

I rushed to his house as fast as I could. When I got there, he looked a bit taller than the day before, but what I really noticed was his face. He was less cute but way hotter, and my cock responded by springing to attention. But he looked sweaty and pale, and when he saw me, he said, “Oh, Jeremy, babe, I’m so glad to see you! Something’s, like, really wrong with me. I feel so weird!”

He sounded pitiful and sexy and lost at the same time, and I was heartbroken. I hadn’t wanted him to suffer like this, and I needed to make it right. I wanted desperately to hold him close, cuddle, and take his fears away, but if I really wanted to help him, I needed to get him to Coach Sanders as fast as I could.

“Oh, babe, I am so sorry you’re feeling like this! I can help you,” I said, “but do you think you can walk to school with me? I can get you help as soon as we get there.”

“Um,” he considered. “Yeah, fresh air. Fresh air should help. I can make it. I think. My shoes are tight. They’re so fucking tight. Why are my shoes tight?”

Encouraging him every few steps, I managed to get him to school without an incident, but the farther we walked, the less Chase seemed to know where he was or what he was doing. It was good he was still a pretty small dude, because toward the end I had to half lift and half drag him along. Fortunately, as we got to the edge of the campus, I saw my bro Derek standing with his girlfriend Becky, talking to Tyler and Brittney. Zach Davis was standing there, too.

“Yo, Derek, Tyler, Zach!” I said, “Hey, Becky, Brittney,” I nodded at the girls. “Bros, could you do me a solid? Could you help me get my bud to Coach Sanders’s office? He’s a little out of it right now. I’m sure Coach can help.”

Derek and Tyler exchanged a meaningful look, and Zach stared at Chase, considering, as if he’d never really seen him before. Derek took charge. “No worries, bro,” he said. “We’ll take care of him. Tyler, why don’t you see Brittney and Becky to class, and I’ll catch you later. Zach, could you run and find Coach Sanders and let him know we’d like to see him in his office right away.”

Whatever he may have been thinking, Zach took off immediately with long, loping strides like the running back he was. In a flash, he’d disappeared inside the building. Tyler had quickly put his bulky frame between the girls and Chase, and he seemed anxious to get Brittney and Becky away from the scene as soon as possible. As they moved toward the main entrance, Becky seemed to be trying to get a look at what was going on, although I’m not sure how much success she had trying to peek around a large, immovable object like Tyler.

Derek was an even larger immovable object. He put a huge, calloused hand firmly on Chase’s shoulder, stared him right in the face and said loudly, “Dude, little bro, let’s go for a little walk, eh? Not much farther.” Chase gave no indication that he heard, but he did as he was told. “Don’t worry, bro,” Derek said in a quiet aside to me, “I can pick him up and carry him if I have to.”

“You’re fucking awesome, Derek,” I said. “Thanks so much. I got him all the way here by myself, but I’m not as big as you are, and I’m almost worn out.”

“No worries, bro. He’s still a little dude. Not as little as he was last week, though. Maybe in a couple more months even I might have some trouble picking him up, you think?”

Stumbling between the two of us, we shuffled and half-carried him to the coach’s office. Coach Sanders was waiting for us.

“Chase, son,” he said pleasantly. “I’m so glad you came to see me. I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I think you’d better sit down on the couch until you feel a little better.” Chase looked at him blankly. He hadn’t said a word since we’d started for school, and he still gave no sign of knowing where he was or what was going on. Coach Sanders had us bring Chase through the locker room to the room with the old couch and the TV set. Then he brought Chase a small bottle of something that looked like a sports drink. “Son, I think you’re a bit dehydrated. Drink some of this.” Chase still said nothing, gazing at him with unfocused eyes, but when the coach put the bottle to his lips, he drank several swallows. After that, he seemed calmer. He looked more relaxed and less pale and sweaty. “I think you’d better sit here a bit longer until you’ve fully recovered. Don’t worry about your classes; I’ll take care of that.”  The coach continued, “Let me set up the TV for you. I have a video that I think you’ll enjoy.” He turned on the TV and queued up the video. Chase sat silent in the middle of the couch, eyes locked on the screen, his eyes now half closed.

“Derek, Jeremy,” the coach said more briskly, “Those clothes of his are too tight; he’s going to need room to breathe. Derek, could you grab a pair of shorts and a tank top from the spare practice uniforms, and Jeremy, get his pants and shirt off.”

Chase limply allowed me to take off his too-tight shoes, undo his pants and pull them off. Under his pants, he was wearing nothing but a very well-filled jockstrap, undoubtedly one of mine. Derek and I slid a pair of basketball shorts on over the jock. Removing his shirt was easier, and then we put the spare tank top on him. Coach Sanders put a headset on his ears and adjusted the audio, then he dimmed the lights.

“Is he going to be all right, Coach?” I asked in a whisper. “I’m really worried about him. He seems so out of it.”

“He’ll be fine, big guy, don’t worry! Derek, you can head to class now, but check in with me a little later, please. And thanks for your help, as always! Jeremy, plan to drop by right after school, and then you can take Chase with you to practice. He probably won’t remember much of what happened today.”

When Derek was gone, the coach added, “I’ll tell you a secret, Jeremy; Derek reacted just like Chase, and you can see how strong Derek is. Chase just started to change physically a bit faster than his mind could handle.”

It was easy for Coach Sanders to tell me not to worry, but he seemed completely calm and in control, so I tried to put my fears to rest. Again, though, I wondered what he was trying to tell me. Derek hadn’t always been a jock? That was hard to believe. Seriously, the guy was the dictionary definition of a stereotypical jock. If Derek hadn’t always been a jock, when had he changed, and what had he been like before? I mean, he was a super nice guy and an amazing football player, but even for a jock he seemed a little dense. What if Chase turned out dumb? I’d do anything for him, of course, including helping him with his homework, but how much help could I be? As Coach Sanders had pointed out weeks ago, I wasn’t the smartest guy in school. At best, I’d been a B- student before. My grades hadn’t really dropped any since my change, but school just seemed harder with all the practices and games on my schedule. I was keeping up, and I didn’t, you know, feel slow or anything, but classwork just seemed not to come easily anymore. Part of the problem, I had to admit, was that my only motivation for going to school was playing sports and hanging out with my bros. Maybe Chase was right; maybe I really was just a dumb jock now.

Whether I really was dumber or not, my classwork for that day was not going to help any of my grades; I might as well have skipped all my classes. All I could think about was Chase. The worst was my modern European history class. I had completely zoned out during the teacher’s lecture. Suddenly he flung a question at me, but I didn’t know it until some nerd, Ben something-or-other, I think, actually had to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey, wake up, you dumb jock, he’s asking you a question!”

It was humiliating. Of course, I had no idea what the question was, and I’m sure I sounded every bit as stupid as I felt. The whole class laughed. At least it woke me up and got me out of my funk for a bit, but I was so mad I could hardly see straight. I spent the rest of the class imagining what I was going to do to hurt that little shit Ben later, but by the time class ended, I decided he wasn’t worth the trouble. Ben wasn’t important; Chase was. Once we were out in the hall again, I glared at Ben and threw a fake punch that made him flinch, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

I could hear one of his little nerd friends, Devin, I think, saying something like, “Geez, Ben, don’t rattle the jocks’ cages. You’re just asking for it. Seriously,” he continued in a kind of stage whisper, “you don’t want to be next on their list.” Ben asked what the fuck he was talking about, and Devin said in the same whisper, “Not here, Ben, just drop it. I’ll tell you later.” And then to me he said in a more normal voice, “Ben’s really sorry, uh, Jeremy. He didn’t mean it. No need to get him in trouble.” And he hustled Ben down the hallway.

I yelled after them, “Next time it’ll be your face, nerd!”

By lunchtime, I was feeling about as low as I could remember ever feeling. There was no sign of Chase, but I didn’t expect him, of course. I sat with some of the other bros, but I just stared at my food and didn’t say much. I kept imagining people were talking about me and Chase behind my back, even though I thought only Derek and maybe Zach really knew what was going on. I didn’t see either one of them anywhere in the lunchroom. But right when lunch was ending, Derek suddenly appeared. He came up to me and said, “Look, bro, stop worrying about Chase. Coach is taking care of him. He’ll be fine. You’ll see him at practice. Trust me, bro. And Becky told me about what happened to you in your history class. Don’t worry; I talked to Coach about that, too. Your bros’ll always have your back.”

I knew Derek was trying to help, and I really appreciated it, but it was hard to be okay with Chase suffering because of me. I felt worse and worse as the afternoon dragged on. Zach reappeared later in the afternoon. He came up to me in the hall between periods and said, “Bro, cheer up, okay? Seriously, your boyfriend’s really cute, and he’ll only be getting cuter. Stop moping, dude!”

I finally reminded myself that the important thing was whether Chase was happy. I hoped he would be, but I wouldn’t find out until after school. I tried to psych myself up for how hot Chase would be once he was fully a jock, and how great it was going to be to share the same interests again the way we did before. But when the last bell rang, my heart sank. Making my way slowly down to the locker room, I wasn’t looking forward to practice at all this time. I felt as if I were going to the gallows for my own execution.

To be continued