#this one is for the religious trauma lesbians and bisexual women

[writingpencil]

Writing Song Lyrics Because ArtFight Is Killing Me

I hate her cherry lips

The saunter in her hips

The way her hair flips

How she taunts me when we skinny dip

I think of desire

As I gift her flowers

Memories of the battery

The analogy of history

And she makes me taste bitter

To her sunday holy flavor

Yet to the gods

She goes beyond

And the patronage

Of the promised ones

elect her to the queendom

And thy kingdom come

Out of love

For that Sunday measure

Such simple pleasure

And its my favorite

Though I hate it

Can I still get into the holy land

With this contraband

Of a lover's hand

Hypnotize

With those hazel eyes

Or is my soul doomed

Is that what I want

Am I fool

And to who

[chaoticbiguysblog]

For the love of GOD, Tommy Kinnard is not historic lgbt rep. White gay characters with no personality are a dime a dozen on network tv. Even Buck's bisexuality storyline, while is groundbreaking for queer firefighters, it's also not historic since "older guy discovers he's bi" was already done in Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Even Eddie's queer awakening wouldn't be historic, as there have been a few "formerly straight-identifying guys with religious trauma coming out later in their lives" storylines on tv. Not to mention, Michael's journey on 911. 

Now, Buck and Eddie's relationship would ABSOLUTELY be historic lgbt rep bc we've never had a slowburn same sex romance on network tv, especially with two firefighters (don't just take my word for it, go Google and see it for yourself, we don't have anything like that yet), if they were to go canon, they'll certainly create history. As for what we have right now, a boring relationship with the characters saying one or two lines to each other every third episode, is hardly historic.

You wanna know what's 911's contribution in historic lgbt representation, it's our own Henrietta "Hen" Wilson.

A badass lesbian firefighter+paramedic, who's also been an interim captain, she's strong despite the severe workplace discrimination she had to endure and she's a great mother, she almost became a doctor too, what is it that she can't do? As for her relationship, it's one of the three front and center relationships on 911, her wife Karen is a rocket scientist, and one of the most emotionally mature character I've ever seen on tv, and even though their relationship hit a bump in the first season, they managed to get past the cheating and after that they've had a relatively healthy and happy marriage, and we don't see a lot of that on network tv, especially with two Black women. Hen and Karen never get their dues for being a wonderful queer+wlw representation, and it has only gotten worse since EvanTommy fans have joined the fandom.

[womenaremypriority]

Masturbation addiction in females

Masturbation addiction can happen to women, with or without the aid of pornographic material. When women who struggle with this are brought up, it is often met with disbelief and even malice- but it is very much a real thing, and feminism should be there for these women. It can be from trauma, but is not always.

Masturbation addiction can look like:

-Masturbating even when unaroused

-Being unable to lay down without pleasuring yourself

-Telling yourself you will not masturbate that day/night, but being unable to stop yourself

-Stomach cramps after masturbating

-Not feeling content, relaxed, and/or renewed after finishing

-Losing sleep due to masturbation habits

-Being unable to concentrate on work

-Arousal feeling more like pain than pleasure

-Rarely, if ever, actually orgasming, just tiring out

-Pain in your knees, feet, elbows, fingers, etc

-Lack of interest in sex with other people, even when you want to

-Wanting to masturbate even when in rooms with other, clueless, people

Barriers to getting help:

-Shame and stigma

-Male-centric conversations around addiction

-Shame from other women over the idea that this is a male problem

-Sexual harassment when discussing the problem in spaces dominated by men

-Disbelief by professionals, or the idea that all conversations of masturbation addiction come from shame around sexuality

-On the other hand, little people willing to listen and offer help other than religious groups

-No solutions given other than completely disengaging with sexual behavior

Why it matters:

-Women deserve a healthy relationship with our bodies and sexuality

-If it escalates to sex addiction, can become dangerous

-If combined with watching porn, can even further hurt ones self-image and sense of sexuality

-May stem from sexual trauma

-Can get in the way of work, responsibilities, and relationships

-May involve and reflect other feminist issues-porn addiction, lack of healthy female sexuality, sexual abuse, homophobia, etc

If you are a women with addiction to masturbation, you deserve to have a healthy sexual life without pain or shame. You deserve boundaries and you are still allowed to say no to anyone who tries to take advantage of you. You are not more like a man than other women, you are not predatory. If you are lesbian or bisexual, your addiction to masturbation is not proof that your sexuality is broken. You are not broken, no matter your situation.

[lilliaace]

The "What is a m-spec lesbian" 101 thread.

So since we keep getting these kinds of questions.

@sharksarecool2 @cute-nerdy-metalhead

I figured a "master post' thread would be a good start.

Definition for lesbian: experiencing queer attraction to women. A good way to explain 'queer attraction' (in this case) is subverting society's expectations and loving women in a non-traditional cisheteronormative way (basically loving a woman not in a way that cis hetero men are socially conditioned to love women).

multisexual/multi-spectrum: more than one.

So put it all together: A 'm spec lesbian' is a lesbian that predominantly loves women but has the potential to be open to other options.

Some common reasons to take up the label "bi lesbian" or "pan lesbian":

Trauma has made it so that genuine (any kind of) attraction for men is gone (or almost entirely gone)

A woman who loves other women and acknowledges they have the potential to be attracted to a man/misc other genders but chooses to only act on the attraction towards women

A woman who when it comes to sexual fantasies might involve women 9/10 times where the rare instance a man is involved, it's under VERY specific circumstances

A woman who has paired off with a man because they enjoy the feelings of protection, affection, and/or companionship despite having little to no genuine attraction for the man (Virginia Woolf and Elenor Roosevelt are a famous examples)

You feel like you're right in the middle between "bisexual" and "lesbian"

You feel like a biromantic lesbian or bisexual homoromantic (towards other women)

A bisexual woman who feels very comfortable hanging around lesbian spaces or vise versa (a lesbian woman feeling very comfortable hanging around bisexual spaces).

I personally identify as an asexual lesbian pansensual. I acknowledge the fact that (I'm polyamorous btw) I have one boyfriend and two girlfriends. The boyfriend is pure luck that I ended up with him (a lot of it due to personal life circumstances, a fucked up history before him of dating men, etc.). My boyfriend openly acknowledges the fact that "I am SUPER shocked you said yes to dating me, knowing your bad history with dudes before me". I'm frankly shocked myself, lol.

There are many flag variations that have popped up for things like "asexual lesbian", "bi lesbian", "pan lesbian", and/or "omni lesbian". Tumblr, DeviantArt, Reddit, and/or Google are good places to look for them. Just find your favorite flag color variation and use that.

They've been documented in queer USA history since at least the 1950s. Many Dyke March annual parades have signs that say things like "ALL DYKES WELCOME, period".

At the end of the day, human sexuality is very complicated. So many things influence it (religious, social conditioning, your own genetic preferences, etc.).

[fangsforiris]

Chasing Shadows

Prompt: Another Love a Lifetime Ago, Dearest Dead, Mourning.

Person: Yui Komori x Female

HC’s:

TW: Talks of Pedophilic Behaviours, Stockholm Syndrome, Abuse, Neglect, etc.

If you are uncomfortable, exit out please !!

🕰️ Before the house, Yui had a crush/situationship/relationship with a girl.

🕰️ Yui definitely suffers from comphet.

🕰️ She’s a lesbian suffering from comphet, or at least a bisexual— leaning preference towards women and very little men.

🕰️ However, based on all the routes with all the boys, and her only developing an actual romantic attraction due to Stockholm Syndrome (mainly by a purely psychological approach to her conditioning, then eventual development— as well as the heavy abuse she as placed under to get to the select boys’ character development,) I’d say she’s a lesbian.

🕰️ Her entire life she was surrounded by men who asked a lot of her, and controlled her day to day routine.

🕰️ Her father canonically neglected her a lot when she was a child, leading her to gather household skills by a young age to sustain herself.

🕰️ She has an iffy relationship with her father, as she tries to speak well of him. However his sketchy— borderline pedophilic— behaviours towards her are questionable at best.

🕰️ She was heavily conditioned her entire life, unknowing of what her truth was other than what happened to be force fed to her.

🕰️ Yui would question her religion in secret. Mainly because of her conflicting sexuality, and Seiji’s influence.

🕰️ She’d find herself conflicted, as she’s never once had a crush on a man. Never felt the feelings the nuns would present to her. Nothing.

🕰️ Instead, it’d be for a woman. Which would instantly throw her for a loop.

🕰️ Cue the HEAVY Religious Trauma.

🕰️ Yui would pray to be ‘normal’ because she was afraid that she was cursed.

🕰️ She’d been told her entire life what happened to be ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ So why was it now, that her happiness was considered a sin in the eyes of the lord…?

🕰️ It would take a ravenette woman to change that, or at least allow Yui to understand that it’s okay, and normal.

🕰️ She’d meet her beau whilst in the alley ways in Romania after sneaking out.

🕰️ Yui would tell you that, that night was the first time she felt truly alive.

🕰️ Her heart pounded, adrenaline to it’s all time high, her cheeks stained in a pinky-blush.

🕰️ I’d like to think that Yui has anxiety, or just high stress and ability to stress easy— but hides it well.

🕰️ Hence, nicotine.

🕰️ Yui 100% smokes, especially when she’s stressed. Even more so when suddenly moving in with the vampiric families she’d find herself acquainted with.

🕰️ So, there Yui was, smoking in the alleyway, when she meets her.

🕰️ Long black hair, reaching hip length and curled at its ends. Lime green eyes that stopped rooms and froze even the largest of crowds. She was beautiful, she was ethereal— coming out of an old 1950’s vintage movie, Yui knew she was home.

🕰️ Some would say that the woman fell first, and Yui fell harder due to her dwindling faith. But Yui would say otherwise. They both knew otherwise.

🕰️ Yui fell first, and then fell even harder.

🕰️ The woman? As she laid eyes on the blond, she knew she would be sticking around.

🕰️ Yui was never one for love at first sight, as all her given descriptions were supposed to be with a man, she could never gaslight herself to find the appeal.

🕰️ But that night… Yui couldn’t tell if it was the way the moon shone down, or the way the woman looked like an ethereal being from the heavens and hells. But one thing was for certain. For once, she believed.

🕰️ Yui knew that she’d love this woman for this life and the hundreds of other ones they’d share.

🕰️ She would wait, despite her reservations of her faith, she knew that she would never love anyone the way she loved this girl.

🕰️ Yui didn’t want to find another, not when the one she’d marry was right in front of her.

🕰️ It didn’t take long for them to share the cigarette Yui was casually taking in. And it didn’t take long for Yui to become a giggling mess at the woman’s jokes.

🕰️ Time stopped, and perhaps it was that, that made the two’s meetups become more frequent.

🕰️ They’d go to the late night carnivals, walk alongside the alleyways, and go on small dates— all in secret of course.

🕰️ In fact, on one late night carnival date, the two would find a photo booth, where they’d share their first kisses.

🕰️ Yui still keeps the pictures with her.

🕰️ The woman would play the piano for Yui, and even teach her a few songs.

🕰️ They would always gift each other flowers on their late night dates. Always surprising each other with what they came up with.

🕰️ Even going as far to see who’s bouquet of flowers matched the theme of their date the best.

🕰️ It would go on for a few years, with them meeting around when Yui was 13, and until Yui was 15-16, would they stop.

🕰️ The reason? The woman would get killed by the church, all on Seiji’s orders. As if to teach Yui a lesson.

🕰️ She’d be exorcised. A formal exorcism to be taken place in one of the church’s basements. And by Seiji’s orders, would Yui be forced to watch.

🕰️ The woman would smile at Yui, despite the pain, and Yui would stand there, next to her father, as the love of her life was killed.

🕰️ Yui’s Lovers’ last words were simple, sweet, yet soul crushing.

🕰️ “You’ll do wonders, Yui.”

🕰️ After it was done, Seiji would pass Yui by, before muttering one last remark at her.

🕰️ “Understand, that this is what shall come to pass when you entertain the devils sin. You, too, shall be cleansed.”

🕰️ To this day, Yui could never fill the hole in her heart. The place that the woman left was infillable. She didn’t want anyone to become the next.

🕰️ In fact, Yui partially blames herself. For not being too careful, for letting her pride get the best of her. For choosing herself for once.

🕰️ The night before her lover would be killed, she suggested to run away. Just the two of them. It was still in the alleyway where they first met, and would they still share a cigarette and more.

🕰️ Yui would be hesitant. Especially about her father and other underlying factors.

🕰️ Yui would live with that regret for the rest of her days, constantly replaying that moment in her mind.

🕰️ To this day, Yui wishes she ran away. At least then, her lover would be alive and well, and they’d be happy. Hell, she’d be happy.

🕰️ I’d like to this the woman Yui was far too in love with for her own good could’ve been a human, or possibly a vampire.

🕰️ Thus making her first experiences with vampires lighthearted. And something to want and care about.

🕰️ Unlike the current, she’d reflect on the woman and not care as much as she’d realize that vampires and those of the supernatural can be good and are like any other people with goals, motivations, and aspirations.

🕰️ I’d also think that the vampire lover would be an aristocrat, further pushing how Yui can see the good in others and how her lover was different.

🕰️ it was ironic though, as what is a mortal to do when their immortal lover is dead and gone. Buried in an unmarked grave.

🕰️ Normally, it’s the immortal lamenting, so Yui always finds ways to mask the pain with this idea.

🕰️ Yui would constantly place white chrysanthemums on her lover’s grave. Which represent mourning, love, and eternal rest.

🕰️ Along with white babys breath, which symbolize everlasting love.

🕰️ I suppose it goes to show that even in death, Yui will mourn and love her immortal or mortal lover.

🕰️ Yui was the sun, and her lover, the moon.

[feminist-cult-following]

ranking each song on ttpd: the anthology by how lesbian I interpret them as

1. guilty as sin — literally so lesbian. the yearning, the fantasizing, the pining, the insane amount of religious imagery? “what if the way you hold me is actually what’s holy?�� “I choose you and me religiously?” I SAW GAY SO I SAID GAY !!

2. but daddy I love him — the word “him” in the title be damned this is one of the most lesbian songs her in whole discography. the romance being forbidden by the whole town is enough for me. I’m just picturing two women in the south who are deeply in love but stuck in a small, conservative town. so so good and so so lesbian

3. fresh out the slammer — I always listen to this from the perspective of a woman who once struggled with internalized homophobia and forced herself into a relationship with a man. once she’s able to accept herself she goes back to her true love. I like to think to it as a sort of sequel to the way I loved you

4. the tortured poets department — I’m not even a gaylor but this song will always be about phoebe bridgers in my mind (just jokes people). but seriously this song is so gay. the title of tortured poets is reserved for lesbians

5. the bolter — for the girlies who dated men before realizing they were a lesbian and always found themselves sabotaging the relationship without knowing why

6. down bad — this is about your first lesbian heartbreak. the one that feels shifted your entire world off its axis and changed you forever. the heartbreak is one you never get over.

7. the prophecy — whatever you do, don’t think about this from the perspective of either a young girl or an older woman who’s too afraid to come out and fears she’ll never find love. it’ll shatter your heart into a million tiny pieces

8. who’s afraid of little old me? — I love to think of this song from the perspective of a deeply repressed woman with religious trauma that just came out. she grew up being taught who she was was a sin and all of these feelings of rage and resentment have been bubbling up in her for years. it makes for a very cathartic listening experience

9. the alchemy — okay okay hear me out. I will defend this placement with my life! is it about a man who plays football, arguably the most heterosexual sport there is? yes. but you have to get creative with it. think cheerleader and basketball player who aren’t supposed to be together but can’t fight their feelings! “who are we to fight the alchemy?” is one of the gayest lines she’s ever written and I will die on this hill!

10. peter — the fact that it’s named after a dude doesn’t change the fact that this always makes me think of a girl singing to her closeted ex lover. the yearning, the pining, it’s very lesbian

11. I hate it here — really gay if you interpret the secret gardens, lunar valleys, and inner romanticism through a lesbian lens

12. look in people’s windows — another one that’s really only just because I played it on repeat in my breakup era

13. imgonnagetyouback — this is so that one ex you can’t stay away from because she changed your whole life. it’s about that girl who’s like a drug (and it’s how I manifested my ex back)

14. thanK you aIMee — potentially controversial spot in the ranking but if you think about it as a woman singing to her ex homoerotic friendship it makes sense

15. florida!!! — any collab taylor does with a woman automatically earns lesbians points idc what it’s about

16 the black dog — not overtly gay but this one was on repeat during my breakup era so it will always be gay to me

17. the albatross — this one vaguely gives me lesbian vibes if you interpret it as the narrator speaking to her closeted lover

18. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus— this one is more of a treat for our bisexuals!! lesbians love you mwah !

19. cassandra — the vibes are there but not enough for me to justify putting it above any of the other songs

20. fortnight — as much as I would love to defend this as a lesbian song the lyric “my husband is cheating” and the post malone feature make that hard to do

21. loml — a heartbreakingly beautiful song but not very lesbian

22. the smallest man who ever lived — even though I think of my ex when I listen to this it still has the word man in the title which knocks it down by many lesbian points

23. my boy only breaks his favorite toys — “boy” in the title unfortunately makes this drop a lot of spots

24. so high school — absolute banger but very straight

25. how did it end? — beautiful song but there’s definitely gayer stuff on this album

26. so long, london — all I can think about is joebless when I hear this so no lesbian points for yogurt boy

27. I can do it with a broken heart — this is more girlhood than lesbianism

28. the manuscript — great but very heterosexual I fear

29. I can fix him (no really I can) — this is practically the straight woman’s national anthem

30. clara bow — also not lesbian, but definitely the album’s most underrated song

31. robin — not lesbian at all, but cute song!

[textk4kira]

Cisgender, straight aces have cisheteronormative identities. And can get affirmations for their ace identities from the ace community.

They can get support for conversion therapy (what is ace conversion therapy? Anti-gay conversion therapy is targeted at making gay people associate gay attraction with trauma and pain? what do you think anti-ace conversion therapy is?) from aces. What resources do //LGBT// groups have for htis?

What LGBT resources do they need for religious trauma they cannot get from the ace community? From other religious trauma groups? Do religious trauma groups exclude cisgender, straight ace?

What specific LGBT resources for csigender, straight men who do not want to date need? Be SPECIFIC. What resources do they need from groupsmade to give rights to Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisxuals, and Trans People? You haven't listed a single LGBT specific resource uet

Being raped for not experiencing sexual attraction is a feminist issue, not an LGBT one. What LGBT specific resource do they need that they cannot get from feminist groups?

Every point you listed actually happens to cisgender, straight women. Should all LGBT groups acomodate all cishet women?

Hello again anon!

I will address each of the points you have made, with some additional information at the end of this post.

I would also like to point out that ace/arophobia tends to go hand in hand with anti-trans/TERF discourse, so I would like anyone reading to please keep that in mind.

Now to address the points you made:

Asexual/Aromantic people do not have cisheteronormative identities as they do not conform to society's expectations on how people are 'supposed' to behave regarding sexual or romantic relationships. These expectations include but are not limited to: Being in a monogamous, heterosexual/heteroromantic relationship with a fellow cisgender person. This argument is also used against bisexual people who are 'straight-passing' individuals.

Asexual people receive medical interventions including conversion therapy to make them heterosexual. Please look up 'hyposexual sexual desire disorder' as an example of anti-asexual medical maltreatment. Coercing an asexual person into having sex to 'cure' their asexuality is a form of corrective rape AND conversion therapy. The asexual community is a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and this has been the case forever. If an asexual person is seeking comfort or resources from other queers, such as myself, I will do what I can to help them.

I do not know if religious trauma groups explicitly exclude asexual individuals, so I cannot answer this. Pushing asexuals to only interact with other asexuals in regards to their problems, is actually a form of marginalization, which is in fact a form of oppression.

The love and support of the LGBTQIA+ community, as well as community-wide solidarity, is, in fact, a 'resource'. The time that I am spending to respond to your ask, as opposed to uplifting aromantic men is in fact, the 'use of a resource'. Yes, emotional labor is a finite resource that I am currently using to address you.

I will not address this point, for obvious reasons.

To conclude, here is a list of resources specifically for asexual/aromantic individuals (note, this is just a short list, I will try to find more in the future):

AUREA - Resources (aromanticism.org)

Aro 101 and Resources – Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (arospecweek.org)

Understanding Asexuality | The Trevor Project

About AVEN | The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org

Understanding the Asexual Community - Human Rights Campaign (hrc.org)

Navigating LGBTQ Identities and Religion | The Trevor Project

Culturally Competent Psychotherapy for the Asexual Community | Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy (societyforpsychotherapy.org)

I would also like to mention that I do not interact with radfems, TERFs, or Gender Critical Feminists as stated in my pinned post, if this describes you anon, or any other readers, please move along. I will not address you.

I hope this was helpful!

[soleminisanction]

Batfamily Sexuality Headcanons

Bruce Wayne – Straight, but a super supportive ally to his gay kids and exudes strong Bi Wife Energy because his "type" is women who can kick his ass.

Dick Grayson – Hear me out: Heterosexual, biromantic. Confuses the hell out of him.

Jason Todd – I actually think Jason might be ace, or at least that he's put his sexuality on the back-burner for a while while he works out his other issues. That said, he's poly, and his ideal romantic situation of the moment is to be the queer-platonic live-in cuddle buddy of a male-female couple who are fulfilling their sexual needs with one another.

Tim Drake – He's either a biromantic demisexual or one of those guys who's always been full-on gay and just didn't realize it was an option for him, so he dated women because it's what society expected of him. Either way, the queer is canon bitches and Reddit can die mad about it.

Damian Wayne – Insists that he's straight, but only because he utterly refuses to examine any impulses to the contrary. It's important to give people time, y'know?

Barbara Gordon – Bisexual, but with a strong enough preference for men that a lot of people confuse her for straight and it's super annoying.

Bette Kane – Also bisexual, but with a strong enough preference for women that she reads as a lesbian, which can also get super annoying.

Kate Kane – Lesbian. Duh. Next.

Cass Cain – Pansexual, largely because she doesn't really get gender. That said, she'll know that you're trans before you do.

Stephanie Brown – ...look, I'm sorry femslashers, I know you're constantly starved for content, but Stephanie Brown is a straight woman. Specifically, she's the kind of straight woman who'd use National Coming Out Day as the chance to "come out" on social media as "purplesexual!" and then make another post like an hour later complaining about how "nobody these days knows how to take a joke."

Duke Thomas – Either cishet and a genuine ally, or bi and hasn't met the right guy to bring it out of him yet.

Jean-Paul Valley – Gay, with major religious trauma.

Lonnie Manchin – Also gay, with major non-religious trauma, the kind you get from growing up in a really strict conservative household.

Harper Row – Bisexual, but not as interesting to talk about because I think that's just canon.

Helena Bertinelli – probably straight, but she exclusively sleeps with bisexual men because she has no patience for cishet bullshit.

And Alfred Pennyworth is the omnisexual polyamorous widower of Thomas and Martha Wayne. I will not be taking any questions.

[daisyymay]

Wow, it's funny to me how you all are saying there's not reading comprehension when literally just don't take a minute to understand what the fuck it's happening here.

No one here is liking Taylor Swift for been a queer icon, you don't get drag in the Swift hurricane because you are thinking 'oh I want to listen more queer female singers' If you want to that you will go and listen all of the out queer female singers in the pop industry, there's a few you got it right.

Actually, the majority of us, and by us I mean people who think that is possible that Taylor is not just straight (I'm not using the Gaylor term here becase its pretty much associated with the shippers of Karlie and Taylor and I'm talking about something bigger) just started listening to her music thinking that she was the epitome of a white straight stater women. Then, some things began to make some noise, especially for us, queer women, who related to some of her songs a little too much, mostly at this point things just go down to a rabbit hole because of course, and then you find that her music and branding and imagery are full of queer symbolism. Like I said, some of them became obsessed with the idea of Taylor (just as other swifties became obsessed with so many of other possible male partners) another ones became most interested in finding esther eggs or reading her poetry about a queer lense.

So many of her songs are about religious trauma, keeping secret relationship because society will not take it well, being caged or controlled by her family, her team and the media. Of course every of those themes can be about a man, but it's not hard to been particularly relatable for young queer women and teens.

And I'm not even talking about she singing about missing the scarlet lips of a significant other. Of course the scarlet not necessarily mean lipstick and can be wine or a men wearing lipstick because why not.

So you cannot honestly come here and tell me how a queer woman is delutional for making those connections. And you cannot honestly come here and tell me that people are listening her because they want her to be queer when everyone and their neighbors are listening her becase is the most important and relevant artist of the moment.

So, again there's not urge to reimagine her as queer because whatever reason you are thinking. We went full on listening the straightest straight women on earth and we found Dress.

And with this I want to make it clear I'm not saying here Taylor swift is queer or anything. What I'm saying is that you cannot blame queer women for pick up symbolisms of their community and for relate to song that are pretty common in the lesbian/bisexual experience.

Maybe, just maybe, you shoud be a little less judgemental.

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

[radmalenia]

So the whole gag for you is that you don't want lesbians to have any spaces that are lesbian only, at all; no matter what. Am I reading that right?? Not only that, but you don't want any lesbian to make a space she can go to where there are no men allowed at all (regardless of whether or not she thinks "transwomen" are women!) Not even if it's her own fucking online blog...no, she can't even ask for a respite from men or a place to be free and vulnerable with other lesbians, even if it's her own personal tumblr profile.

Do you not fucking hear yourself?? That is pathetic. No. People are allowed boundaries. People of specific groups are also allowed to make spaces that are reserved just for that one group. Particularly if it's just their personal blog! I promise you men are completely unaffected by the existence of a few lesbian only spaces. They will be perfectly fucking fine if there are a few places they cannot go, particularly if those places are just some blogs on the internet. There are PLENTY of spaces both in real life and online where men, lesbians, transmascs, nonbinaries, and whoever else; exist in alongside each other. In fact you guys have specifically made it so every damn space you can control is now at least somewhat mixed and often just goes by the label "queer" or "lgbtq" and so lets everyone in the overall community in.

In doing so you have failed to acknowledge that every group under the LGBT acronym deserves to also have their own private spaces, that are just for people from their specific group; in addition to the larger general spaces for everyone in the community. Every group benefits a great deal from the more intimate solidarity they share in those private spaces.

Again - men, and everyone else for that matter; aren't effected by lesbians having a few spaces for just themselves. You know who IS effected by the existence of spaces that are specifically for one group only?? The people in that group. You know who IS effected by having the ability to put up boundaries on their own blog without being ridiculed for it?? Every individual who would want to do that.

Think about this: what if I put "christians DNI" in my tumblr bio? I'm a pagan who has religious trauma, thinks monotheism is profoundly wrong, and despises christianity; so it could make sense. Would you then tell me I'm "christianphobic"? Or make up a four letter acronym to describe my monotheism exclusionary spiritual beliefs?? And then make a post telling pagans that not only is it wrong for them to say that "pagans aren't christians", but that it's unacceptable for them to try to make any spaces where no Abrahamic religious people are allowed to interact with them? 🙄

I'm guessing you wouldn't do any of that, in that situation. So turn your brain on and apply that logic to lesbians as well. To bisexuals. To gay men. Etc. People are allowed to make spaces devoted only to people like themselves; and people are allowed to have boundaries on their damn blog if they want them.

lesbians who say "fuck terfs <3" and then immediately say "trans mascs, men and trans women who are also men can't be butches/lesbians/dykes" and "i'm a lesbian, men dni" and also viciously try to remove trans women who are also men, transmascs & men from lesbian, sapphic and dyke spaces...

hey guess what: you're terfs. try again.

[neptunemagia]

@its-decido asked so I shall deliver. Here are all of my gender and sexuality headcannons for Sailor Moon.

For reference I ship Michiru x Haruka, Rei x Minako, Inners poly pile, Ami x Makoto, Mamoru x Usagi x Seiya, Kunzite x Jadeite, Chibiusa x Hotaru, and Princess Kakyuu x Reformed Galaxia. The only ships I have strong feelings against is anything that breaks up harumichi and anything involving Prince Demande bcuz he sucks ass and doesn’t deserve love.

Usagi is bi with a preference for her precious Mamo-chan. She/her, potentially some cutesy neo-pronouns.

As the goddess of love it only makes sense for Minako to be pansexual. She/her.

I think Ami would be demiromantic and demisexual. Not really sure of she’d like multiple genders or just girls. She/her, but might try out she/they at some point.

Makoto is bi. She crushes on everything that breathes within a ten mile radius of her. Preference for guys and more masculine girls. She/her, I think trans girl Mako headcannons are super cute.

Rei is the man hating lesbian straight men fear. In the manga, she makes it clear that she hardly tolerates the existence of men, so I doubt she would date one. The 90s anime always felt really weird, so I’m calling it internalized homophobia (she went to Catholic school after all). She/her or maybe she/they, purely out of spite for this world.

Chibiusa, much like her mother, is bi and in love with everyone. Even horse boy gets a kiss. She and Hotaru are canonically the same age when she is reborn. It’s not problematic, you just don’t like it. Which is fine, but chill out a little. She/bunself, it’s the 30th century, her using neo pronouns is entirely realistic.

Michiru is literally the biggest lesbian to ever lesbian. I get vibes like she has mommy AND daddy issues. There’s no such thing as a mentally well artist after all. She/her.

I can see Haruka as being non-binary or a cis woman. Lesbian, potentially bisexual (NOT biromantic), with a heavy preference for ladies. Anime Haruka absolutely has some kind of religious trauma. All she talks about is going to hell for her sins. She/they (maybe ze/zir).

I stand by Setsuna being aroace. The Endymion thing felt like filler, and all she ever talked about was his lavender jacket. Next season, her only outfit is a lavender jacket (I distinctly remember her wearing a lavender tee shirt in Crystal as well). She’s even stated to be an aspiring fashion designer. Clearly she was just jealous of his suit. She/they/it, because as an eternal being this gender shit is probably pretty pointless to her.

Hotaru is some form of gay. Lesbian, bi, pan, no idea. All I know is she has a massive crush on Chibiusa. She/it, she probably has some crazy depersonalization going on with Mistress 9 and the cyborg stuff.

Seiya, Seiya, Seiya. I get heavy trans masc vibes from them, but Naoko did say all sailor senshi were women, so I’m going with the in-between of non-binary and/or genderfluid. As for sexuality, I’m just going to leave it as sapphic. She/he/they/ze. Do they even have gender/pronouns on Kinmoku?

I refuse to see Yaten as anything other than a aroace girly girl. Yaten forever chooses sleep over sex . She/her.

Taiki confuses and upsets me to no end. The hair makes it so unbelievably painful to think about them that I leave my thoughts at pansexual they/them.

Kakyuu is bi, and all loving like Usagi, our other princess. She/her.

Manga Mamoru is the token straight friend. Anime Mamoru is bi purely because of the Fiore arc. He/him.

feel free to request a continued analysis of the genders/sexualities of minor characters and villains, other headcannons, along with my list of which villains are redeemable (all monsters of the day will be included, you have been warned)

[emsprovisions]

Turning Red HCs

Since everyone is doing their hcs for the Turning Red girlies, I figured it was my turn.

Mei: she/her, eventually figures out she's pan and then no one ever hears the end of it bc she makes every pan pun in the book: "IM A PAN-DA" (joke stolen from @sapphic--kiwi). Tyler's her first kiss at the end of 9th grade and they go out throughout sophomore and junior year (they even go to junior prom together!) but then they decide to just be friends. It isn't until college that Mei finally notices Miriam and falls hard for her.

Miriam: she/her, baby lesbian with a lot of comphet and a dash of religious trauma to work through. When Priya gets her first gf, Mir just thinks she's a very fierce ally until Abby points out that she's been in love with Mei for forever. Insert religious trauma and by that I just mean that she's super accepting of other people being gay but being Jewish, she isn't sure at first how to feel about herself being gay. Mir identifies as bi for awhile before coming out as a lesbian in freshman year of college. She finally finds the courage to tell Mei how she's felt all these years and the girls are now helping Mirimei plan their wedding.

Priya: she/her, bisexual with a preference for women (SAPPHIC RIGHTS BABEY). Priya believes that boys are best in bands and books and tbh she's right, I'm right there with her. She goes through some different phases throughout high school, including her goth phase, a band phase, and a theater phase. She's a liberal arts major in college. She'll meet her future wife at the cafe in her favorite bookstore.

Abby: She/they, bisexual with a preference for men. Abby mostly scares every guy she ever meets but eventually she meets the one. She's really not so scary once you break through her hard defenses. She has a lot of sisters and is one of the younger kids in her family, so she just Has To Be Loud. It isn't her fault! She's a business major in college and intends to go on to be a lawyer.

[vahlee]

JWCC headcanons

< Spokane Alternate Universe >

My headcanons for character birthplace (in the order of revelation)

1 - Sammy – Dallas metro

2 - Darius and Brandon – Los Angeles

3 - Kenji – Manhattan Island

4 - Ben – Minneapolis

5 - Brooklynn – Omaha

6 - Yasmina – Spokane

SAMMY Gutierrez (lesbian)

– She is the only person in the group who uses Yasmina's whole name when either upset or scared.

– doesn't like driving in snow.

– very strong and knows how to use guns, but prefers not to.

– she has two younger sisters named Paula and Rose and a younger trans brother named Camarillo.

– she survived the Texas winter storm of 2021 with her three siblings, spending two days trapped in her ice-encased car.

YASMINA Gutierrez (lesbian)

– married to Sammy, met in 2020.

– oldest of the six original characters and Brandon.

– known as either "Yaz" or "Yazzy" to everybody else in the AU

– suffers from autism, OCD, severe anxiety, and severe depression.

– ankle shattered in a car crash / murder attempt in June 2020, contributing to one of her worst sources of trauma and PTSD.

– renounced Islam as a kid due to the loss of a friend, triggering a life of pain at the hands of her parents.

– has an arson charge from 2015.

DARIUS Mulholland (straight)

– Married to Brooklynn, met in 2015.

– helped spur a small anti-suicide campaign in Los Angeles.

– renounced Christianity in 2015 due to his abusive mother. Lots of religious trauma.

– moved to Spokane in 2017 with Brooklynn.

– organized a Black Lives Matter protest in Spokane in 2026, which was later attacked by police and counterprotesters.

– has nightmares about the protest.

– survivor of child abuse, along with his older brother Brandon.

– struggles to cope with not being able to help everyone, and believes little mistakes on his own part are disastrous.

– adopted by Yasmina and Sammy in 2027.

– father died at the Grand Canyon in 2015.

BROOKLYNN Mulholland (straight)

– started her YouTube career at a young age.

– mother died during childbirth, father remarried to a man.

– helped Darius lead the protest.

– has panic attacks caused by freeways and nightmares about the protest.

– she survived the 2013 El Reno tornado in Oklahoma, which she was trying to livestream for her channel. One of her fathers was killed.

– moved to Los Angeles with her remaining father in 2015.

– currently pregnant with her and Darius's fisrt child, Dar-lynn.

KENJI Pincus (bisexual)

– dated women to please his dad, but likes men more

– former heir to Kon Industries

– isn't as playful as he is in the show.

– has never been to Japan.

– helped finalize plans for an Amazon warehouse in Spokane Valley.

– married to Ben, met in 2022.

– has adopted daughters named Emma and Darcy.

BEN Pincus (gay)

– has an excellent history of childcare

– has a younger sister named Amy

– he was gravely injured in Darius and Brooklynn's BLM protest in Spokane in 2026. Now has severe mobility and speech impairments.

– has nightmares about the protest and doesn't like police.

– was unintentionally in the very first George Floyd riot in Minneapolis in 2020, just before moving to Spokane.

– lived with Emma and Darcy and their mother when he moved to Spokane, for three years before their mother died. Adopted them in 2027 with Kenji.

[sapphos-darlings]

on the subject of bi-cycles - how long is "normal" for these fluctuations to take? when i was younger, i was dead certain i was a lesbian. like, the thought of having sex with men sometimes made me nauseated with revulsion. but now as a young adult, i'm questioning again. there's no specific guy i have feelings for, but i find men much better to look at than i once did and am no longer sure if my anxiety about sex with men is natural or fear-based. is it possible to remain on the kinsey 5-6 side of one of those cycles for years?

Hey! Fortunately or unfortunately, bisexuality isn't like a menstrual cycle; it just kind of flipflops according to your specific desires at the time. It's perfectly possible to enter a side of the cycle where you really don't care much for the other sex, and then, well, die on that side of the cycle. The opposite is also just as plausible, that you start at one end of the spectrum, and then later on discover that... hey, that other thing I've never liked before, it's actually kind of hot. That's fine!

Remember that you never have to engage with something you feel hesitant about or that frightens you in the real world, but your imagination is a free-for-all where anything can be possible. Even things you try out in your daydreams, and realise after or half-way through that... yuck, that sucks, actually. And when you meet someone you love or just have the hots for, if the situation feels right and you're both into it, go ahead with it! It doesn't have to be your forever deal, as long as that's what you're looking for. You can be happy existing in-between, or at one side of the spectrum only. For example, while my orientation has settled to be a comfortable split between men and women (and other!) where I can enjoy people of all shapes and forms, I still only want to be in a relationship with someone who is a woman or at least female-bodied, because I do have trauma with male-bodied people, and that's fine. These are your boundaries, and your orientation alone doesn't dictate those. You can make choices about what you want for your life, and what you want to enjoy on your own or in theory only.

So, if you want to "try out" men, do so in your imagination first. Daydream, read fiction, consume art and photography of good-looking men, find out what you like (and if you like it.) Find out what your boundaries are, and explore gently the side of you that's afraid of sex with men. Why is it? Is it because the thought disgusts you, feels like something you don't want, or are there other factors at play? And remember - sex, particularly sex in the real world, is not a prerequisite for enjoying men as a shape of people that exists in the world. You can like men and not want to be physical with them at the same time. That's fine, that's still a valid form of bisexuality.

Finally - if you feel that there's actual fear, trauma, anxiety behind your aversion to the thought of being intimate with men rather than just finding it gross or unappealing, and this bothers you, look into LGBT-friendly therapy. (You know, normal therapy, not the conversion kind. Stay the hell away from anyone with a religious or moral agenda, those people are not here to help you.) Your goal might not, and perhaps shouldn't, be to have a relationship with a man, but if you have trauma (and trauma can be environmental! Growing up in this world can absolutely make you apprehensive towards men even if you personally don't remember ever being directly wronged by one), it's best for you to get to the bottom of that and help you heal and cope with it - whatever that means for you as an individual.

[battleczar]

what's your stance on "gold star lesbians are the only ones who can be lesbians and women who have had any romatic or sexual relationship with a man is an homophobic bisexual in denial"?

I’d like to make it clear before I start my response that I’m not interested in debating on this topic—it’s insufferable and the people at both extremes are certifiable. These are my thoughts and then I’m done on the matter 🌻

Take a straight woman who says, “Yeah, I messed around with girls in college. I didn’t really enjoy it and I was working through some sexual trauma at the time. But my boyfriend wanted me to do it because it got him off to watch, and I wanted to make him happy, so I did it. I didn’t connect with any of the women I was with on any level, and touching them left me cold, and being touched by them made me feel a little sick. I’ve never experienced attraction to a woman.”

I hear exactly zero people calling that woman a lying bisexual. Straight people are granted respect for their experiences, and the nuanced idea that sometimes people can use sex as a form of self-harm due to serious underlying issues, or be pressured into sex with somebody they’re not attracted to, is acceptable.

It’s interesting to me that a lesbian saying the exact same thing as the example above—“I had sex with somebody I was not attracted to,” —that’s treated as an invariable lie by a lot of the vocal GS bloggers I’ve been seeing lately.

I certainly understand some of this defensiveness of lesbianism. I myself have had an extremely unpleasant relationship experience with a bisexual woman who called herself a lesbian but slept with multiple men during our four-year relationship, culminating in a breakup where she gave me an ultimatum of either being in a triad with her and a trans woman or leaving them alone together (she was cheating and when I found out, thought she could talk me into sharing with him). Nonlesbians using “lesbian” like it’s a fun label are a serious and hurtful problem.

But when a woman says “I do not and have never experienced attraction to a man, and I do experience attraction to women,” I think she should be accorded the same respect as anybody else. As for the genuinely insane people who claim that it’s impossible to consent to sex with somebody you’re not attracted to—I’ve consented to sex with women I did not find physically or emotionally attractive, out of pity or because I felt like I had gone too far to stop or whatever (I don’t have a good track record with having emotionally healthy sex). By terminally-online-GS logic, I secretly did find those women attractive? It’s really just super black and white thinking.

Ultimately, I hope that someday we’ll live in a world where all lesbians are free to be homosexual women, free in every sense of the word. No religious, social, or physical pressure to so much as glance at a man. But right now, we don’t have that. I think once the question “Do you actively and exclusively experience attraction to women?” has been answered in the affirmative, we need to leave it at that, and give more trust and compassion to our sisters.

[themollyjay]

The Myths of Forced Diversity and Virtue Signaling.

In my novel Mail Order Bride, the three main characters are a lesbian and two agendered aliens.  In my novel Scatter, the main character is a lesbian, the love interest is a pansexual alien, and the major side characters include a half Cuban, half black Dominican lesbian, a Chinese Dragon, a New York born Jewish Dragon, and a Transgender Welsh Dragon.  In my novel The Master of Puppets, the Main Characters are a lesbian shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborg and a half black, half Japanese lesbian.  The major side characters include three gender fluid shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborgs, and a pansexual human.  In my novel Transistor, the main character is a Trans Lesbian, the love interest is a Half human/Half Angel non-observant Ethiopian Jew, and the major side characters include a Transgender Welsh Dragon (the same one from Scatter), a Transgender woman, a Latino Lesbian, an autistic man, three Middle Eastern Arch Angels, and a hive mind AI with literally hundreds of genders.  In my novel The Inevitable singularity, one of the main characters is a lesbian, another has a less clearly defined sexuality but she is definitely in love with the lesbian, and the third is functionally asexual due to a vow of chastity she takes very seriously.  The major side characters include a straight guy from a social class similar to the Dalit (commonly known as untouchables) in India, a bisexual woman, a man who is from a race of genetically modified human/frog hybrids, and a woman from a race of genetically modified humans who are bred and sold as indentured sex workers.

Why am I bringing all of this up?  Well, first, because it’s kind of cool to look at the list of different characters I’ve created, but mostly because it connects to what I want to talk about today, which should be obvious from the title of the essay.  The concepts of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’.

For those who aren’t familiar with these terms, they’re very closely related concepts.  ‘Forced Diversity’ is the idea that characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are only ever included in a story because of outside pressure from some group (usually called Social Justice Warriors, or The Woke Brigade or something similar) to meet some nebulous political agenda.  The caveat to this is, of course, that you can have a women/women present as long as they are hot, don’t make any major contributions to the resolution of the plot, and the hero/heroes get to fuck them before the end of the story. ‘Virtue Signaling’, according to Wikipedia, is a pejorative neologism for the expression of a disingenuous moral viewpoint with the intent of communicating good character.

The basic argument is that Forced Diversity is a form of virtue signaling.  That no one would ever write characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males because they want to.  They only do it to please the evil SJW’s who are somehow both so powerful that they force everybody to conform to their desires, yet so irrelevant that catering to them dooms any creative project to financial failure via the infamous ‘go woke, go broke’ rule.

What the people who push this idea of Forced Diversity tend to forget is that we exist at a point in time when creators actually have more creative freedom than are any other people in history.  Comic writers can throw up a website and publish their work as a webcomic without having to go through Marvel, DC or one of the other big names, or get a place in the dying realm of the news paper comics page.  Novelists can self-publish with fairly little upfront costs, musicians can use places like YouTube and Soundcloud to get their work out without having to worry about music publishers.  Artists can hock their work on twitter and tumblr and a dozen other places. Podcasts are relatively cheap to make, which has opened up a resurgence in audio dramas.  Even the barrier to entry for live action drama is ridiculously low.

So, in a world where creators have more freedom than ever before, why would they choose to people their stories with characters they don’t want there?  The answer, of course, is that they wouldn’t.  Authors, comic creators, indie film creators and so on aren’t putting diverse characters into their stories because they are being forced to. They’re putting diverse characters into their stories because they want to.  Creators want to tell stories about someone other than the generically handsome hypermasculine cisgendered heterosexual white males that have been the protagonists of so many stories over the years that we’ve choking on it. A lot of times, creators want to tell stories about people like themselves.  Black creators want to tell stories about the black experience. Queer creators want to tell stories about the queer experience.

I’m an autistic, mentally ill trans feminine abuse survivor.  Every day, I get up and I struggle with PTSD, with an eating disorder, with severe body dysmorphia, with anxiety and depression and just the reality of being autistic and transgender.  I deal with the fact that the religious community I grew up in views me as an abomination, and genuinely believes I’m going to spend eternity burning in hell.  I deal with the fact that people I’ve known for decades, even members of my own family, regularly vote for politician who publicly state that they want to strip me of my civil rights because I’m queer.  I’m part of a community that experiences a disproportionately high murder and suicide rate.  I’ve spent multiple years of my life deep in suicidal depression, and to this day, I still don’t trust myself around guns.

As a creator, I want to talk about those issues.  I want to deal with my life experiences.  I want to create characters that embody and express aspects of my lived experience and my day-to-day reality.  No one is forcing me to put diversity into my books.  I try to include Jewish characters as often as I can because there have been a number of important Jewish people in my life.  I include queer people because I’m queer and the vast majority of friends I interact with on a regular basis are queer.  I include people with mental illnesses and trauma because I am mentally ill and have trauma, and I know a lot of people with mental illnesses and trauma.  My work may be full of fantastical elements, aliens and dragons and angels and superheroes and magic and ultra-high technology and AI’s and talking cats and robot dogs and shape shifters and telepaths and all sorts of other things, but at the core of the stories is my own lived experience, and neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are vanishingly rare in that experience.

Now, I can hear the comments already.  The ‘okay, maybe that’s true for individual creators, but what about corporate artwork?’.   Maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea.

The thought here is that corporations are bowing to social pressure to include characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males, and that is somehow bad. But here’s the thing. Corporations are going to chase the dollars.  They aren’t bowing to social pressure.  There’s no one holding a gun to some executive’s head saying, “You must have this many diversity tokens in every script.”  What is happening is that corporations are starting to clue into the fact that people who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males have money.  They are putting black characters in their shows and movies because black people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting queer people in shows and movies because queer people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting women in shows and movies because women watch shows and spend money on movies.

No one is forcing these companies to do this.  They are choosing to do it, the same way individual creators are choosing to do it.  In the companies’ cases the choices are made for different reasons.  It’s not because they are necessarily passionate about telling stories about a particular experience, but because they want to create art to be consumed by the largest audience possible, which means that they have to expand their audience beyond the neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white male by including characters from outside of that demographic.

And the reality is, the cries of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ almost always come from within that demographic.  Note the almost.  There are a scattering of individuals from outside that demographic which do subscribe to the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ myths, but that is a whole other essay.  However, within that demographic, lot of the people who cry about ‘forced diversity’ see media and content as a Zero-Sum game.  The more that’s created for other people, the less that is created for them.

In a way, they’re right. There are only so many slots for TV shows each week, there are only so many theaters, only so much space on comic bookshelves and so on.  But at the end of the day, its literally impossible for them to consume all the content that’s being produced anyway.  So, while there is, theoretically less content for them to consume, as a practical matter it’s a bit like someone who is a meat eater going to a buffet with two hundred items, and then throwing a tantrum because five of the items happen to be vegan.

The worst part is, if they could let go of how wound up they are about the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ they could probably enjoy the content that’s produced for people other than them.  I mean, I’m a pasty ass white girl, and I loved Black Panther.

So, to wrap out, creators, make what you want to make, and ignore anyone who cries about forced diversity or virtue signaling.  And to people who are complaining about forced diversity and virtue signaling, I want to go back to the buffet metaphor.  You need to relax.  Even if there are a few vegan options on the buffet, you can still get your medium rare steak, or your chicken teriyaki or whatever it is you want.  Or, maybe, just maybe, you could give the falafel a try. That shit is delicious.