#this metaphor possibly got away from me at some point

[bigskydreaming]

But also I’m just saying, Scott McCall did not smirk like a smug asshole at the twins after taking apart one’s motorcycle to lure the other into getting caught with their motorcycle in the school hallway just for ppl to act like this guy was new to Shenanigans. Like. That was a Scott-Allison-Isaac group project, Stiles was nowhere near it, I know its been 84 million years since then but the myth of Scott having no sense of humor or prankster energy of his own will always make me itch irritably.

[redocity]

What about reader and Maddie going shopping and reader surprising buck with some cute lingerie after that she just bought??

WELCOME HOME — E.BUCKLEY

you always missed buck when he was at work, so you organised a little surprise for him when he finally got home.

evan buckley x fem!reader | suggestive | 2.1k | requests open!!

cw — 18+ content, minors do not interact. not technically smut but an insulation of smut at the end, buck picks up the reader

a/n — ya girl is back after over a month 💀 sorry bros, exam season ripped me to shreds

masterlist.

Buck’s apartment always seemed bare when he wasn’t in it, the metaphorical light that made it feel like a home disappearing whenever he went on shift.

You never knew exactly why it made you feel so different, you’d been living with him for almost six months, but Buck’s absence never failed to make you feel lonely.

So you made an effort to stay out of the apartment for as long as possible when Buck wasn’t there to share it with you, seeking comfort in the company of your friends to pass the time.

Today’s excursion was a mall trip with Maddie.

It wasn’t anything special, a lunch trip and some random shopping for god knows what (mostly stuff for Jee), but as the afternoon turned into early evening, the stores you visited became less ‘family oriented’ and more… personally intriguing.

Case in point, a very well placed lingerie store right on your way back to the parking lot.

The two of you had justified your little detour as a little ‘treat’ for yourselves after being so responsible with your purchases for the rest of the day, delusion feeding delusion as you both convinced yourselves of any reason possible to be there other than just wanting to go inside.

“It’ll only take ten minutes” you’d both agreed.

It did not take ten minutes.

The two of you paraded around the store for almost an hour, picking out certain things you liked to show them off to each other and promptly putting them back on the rail once you looked at the prices. Rinse and repeat.

Although, there was one singular set that you had kept coming back to throughout your window shop, a cute silk bralette and shorts ‘pyjama’ combo with a silk robe to match.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t come back to it at least every ten minutes, and by the third time Maddie was practically forcing you to pick it up and keep it on hand “just in case,” you decided you wanted to buy it before you left.

You were convinced you weren’t going to, but ever persuasive as she is, you followed her instruction either way.

And you did end up taking the set home with you.

It was a sizeable blow to your bank account, and Maddie’s victorious attitude as you got to the counter didn’t help your defeat, but you knew you were going to regret it if you didn’t.

You deserved to look sexy, to feel sexy, and above all else the small image in the corner of your mind of Buck’s face when he saw you in it was motive enough for you to shell out on yourself.

What was the harm really?

You stripped to try it on basically the second you stepped into your apartment, spending god knows how long parading yourself around in front of every mirror you could find.

You solidified that it was indeed a good purchase when the front door clicked open and Buck’s work boots thumped heavily against the wooden flooring, joined by his bag as he breathed an obvious sigh of relief at being home after a full 24 hours away from home.

“Babe? You here?” His voice practically sent shivers up your spine as he called out to you, setting your heart racing as you prepared yourself for the ‘reveal’ of your new purchase.

It really shouldn’t have been so adrenaline-inducing, but you wanted him to like it as much as you did.

“Hey baby, welcome home,”

It’s like Buck’s vision is trained to gravitate towards you with how fast his eyes flicker to you as you walk around the corner to stand at the top of the staircase.

He gives a very obvious once over when you’re fully in sight, letting out a low whistle as he kicks off his boots to start his ascent of the stairs.

“How was your day?” You walk down the stairs a few paces, still remaining a few steps higher than him to rest your arms over his shoulders in a hug.

“Long..” Buck murmurs, his hands falling to rest on your hips automatically as he stands below you on the steps, tilting his head back to maintain eye contact. “But definitely just got better..” Buck says with a small smirk, glancing over your attire again with a low hum.

You give a soft hum at his approval, practically preening at the attention he gives you as his eyes take a tour of your frame. “You like?”

Buck’s thumbs begin to trace small circles into your hips as you ask the question, his gaze shifting back up to meet your eyes with an almost offended tint that you’d assume anything else. “Love..”

“Yeah?” You lean forward until your noses brush together, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “I bought it today,” And another kiss, “Just for you,”

“And it looks so damn good on you..” Buck murmurs in response, his hands sliding down your hips to cup at your ass, giving it a firm squeeze through the silk as his lips return the chaste kiss.

You let out a short chuckle at his brash show off affection, fingers carding through his hair as your faces part. “Thank you,”

Buck presses another firm kiss to your lips, his tongue teasing against your lips as he pulls you closer to him. “Anytime, babe…”

His hands continue to trail further down until they grab the backs of your thighs, lifting you up with ease to carry you back up the stairs towards the bedroom.

The sudden change elicits a small gasp from you, one that quickly turns to laughter as you wrap your arms over his shoulders for stability.

Your laughs are echoed with Buck’s own as he kicks open the bedroom door to drop you onto the mattress, soft kisses pressed against your neck as he leans over you.

“Hi,”

The smile the spreads on his face is almost giddy as he speaks, his fingers tracing up and down your sides.

“Hi,” Your echo of a response is almost entirely a giggle as you run your hands over the curves of his neck and shoulders.

Your laughs seem to be contagious as the two of you continue to share soft chuckles and giggles, Buck’s fingers drifting across your skin and the silk covering your chest, leaning down to brush another kiss onto your lips.

“Missed you…” he says quietly, his eyes slowly closing as his nose brushes against yours.

“…missed you too,” The quietness of your voice mirrors Buck’s as you cup his face in your hands, leaning your forehead against his.

It was hard not to miss the love of your life when he worked such long hours.

Buck lets out a soft sigh at your touch, his fingers lifting up to brush away hair from your face, tilting his head to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

“This new schedule blows…” Buck murmurs, moving to bury his face into the crook of your neck.

“No kidding,” You wrap your arms over his back as he lies on top of you, his head buried into your shoulder with no consideration for his inherent need to breathe.

Buck’s breath is warm on your skin as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, a small smile playing at his lips as he just soaks up the comforting presence.

“Think you’re the only thing keeping me alive this week…” He murmured against your skin, a small shiver running through him as his lips gently brush against your skin.

You let out a small laugh at his comment, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple as your hands continue to roam the expanse of Buck’s back, carefully pressing and massaging into his shoulder blades until he’s pliant in your arms.

“You’re a pretty good pillow..” Buck jokes against your skin, his eyes slipping shut at the soothing, repetitive motion of your fingers. “…sexy pillow,”

Your laugh evolves at his murmured approval of your use as his personal pillow, and you revel in the positive attention it brings you, allowing your eyes to fall closed so you can focus of the feeling of him in your arms.

Buck can’t help but begin to laugh too at the sound of your amused chuckle, smiling against your skin. “Just what I need after today…” he gently tilts your head to the side with his hand to bite down gently on the skin in the crook between your neck and your shoulder.

“To come home and just unwind..” he whispers as he begins to nip and suck on your skin, slowly leaving behind a small trail of reddening marks. “And to have my beautiful girlfriend waiting for me..”

Buck’s gaze slowly travels up to meet yours as he pulls away to admire his handiwork, a small smirk on his lips.

“..With this sexy little outfit..” he adds with a small hum, his fingers gently tugging at the hem of the bralette as it sits snug against your chest.

“Don’t get me wrong…” Buck begins, his smirk widening into a grin. “I’d take you in anything, but when you get all dolled up especially for me I almost lose my damn mind…” He punctuates his words with a kiss pressed against one of the ripening marks, the redness slowly fading into a soft purple that would be a nightmare to cover up tomorrow.

The laugh you let out at his apparent enthusiasm is more of just a breath as his lips his your sensitive skin, with his hands moving slowly over your body, his eyes following their movements as they run up over your sides, your ribs, over the curves of your boobs, as he just drinks in the sight of you.

“You gotta have the most perfect body I’ve ever seen..” Buck murmured softly, almost adoringly as his gaze remained focused on your chest.

“…God..” he mumbled against your skin, leaning in to press a few, slow kisses at your collarbone. “I’m the luckiest man alive…”

His tongue flicks out at his lips as he begins to run his fingers teasingly under the waistband of your shorts, the other moving to gently cup one of your boobs through the fabric with a low hum.

You let out a soft hum of your own at the roaming of his hands and the languid kisses he leaves against your skin, your fingers carding through his hair, gently tugging at the scalp in a show of your responsiveness.

Buck’s body lets out a small shiver as your fingers run through his hair, his eyes closing again as a small smile comes to his lips at the soothing feeling. “Mmmm…” he mumbled, peppering the skin at the top of your breasts with more kisses, his tongue teasing out occasionally to dip down into the cleavage exposed by the v-neck of your bralette.

The kisses on your skin get a little bit sloppier as he slowly works his way lower down your body, occasionally letting out a low hum and biting down on your skin.

“Can we just stay in all weekend..?” Buck murmurs against your skin, pulling away for just a second to rest his chin on your stomach as he looks up at you.

“that sounds like a great idea…” You practically breathe out your words as you respond to Buck’s suggestion. God knows you’d been missing him all week, and god knows you wanted to revel in this moment for as long as possible now that he had a full 48 hours at home.

Buck’s face lights up with a wider smile at that, a small, happy laugh escaping his lips as he nods in agreement. “I’ll be sure to make it worth your while.” He murmurs, returning to his previous ministrations on your skin, his lips pressing down kisses as he lowers them downward to your navel.

Buck’s hands finally slide underneath your shorts to tug the silk down your legs, grabbing onto your thighs as his lips slowly trail lower and lower, his eyes lifting up to meet yours.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good baby..” Buck promised in a low grumble, his fingers squeezing gently into your skin. “I promise,”

[lover-of-mine]

Hello and welcome to Anna thinks they just kickstarted Eddie's queer arc and *coldplay starts to play* it was all yellow (and blue). (metas on the blue and yellow here and here if you feel like reading)

I feel like at this point I have made the point that I think Eddie's queer arc is gonna be yellow where Buck's was blue very clear (post on that here, more on the theory applied to buddie here), so I'm watching for any amount of blue or yellow around Eddie. The whole thing comes back to the way 704 is very blue and yellow and the climax of Buck's bi arc, the coming out scene since it's the one scene Buck chooses to come out, is also blue and yellow, but Buck himself is blue.

This actually starts in the locker room in 701 tho, but we have established that Buck is blue, so they are in the wrong colors. They're also in the wrong colors during the will reveal, which is interesting if they follow through it this particular symbolism the way I'm expecting them to.

The will reveal is interesting because they don't match their backgrounds the way Buck does in the coming out scene, but the backgrounds have the right colors, but I digress.

The thing is, the thing that I keep waiting to happen, happened. The sandy yellow shirt. Something about Buck's journey to blue, is that he is in darker shades of blue while Eddie is in neutral tones, mostly black, until he reaches a shade of blue that's basically the color of Oliver's eyes, so it's a brighter color.

So my working theory is that Eddie is gonna mirror that, and we will have Buck in neutral tones while Eddie finds his golden yellow, that right now I'm 90% positive will be the shade behind him in the coming out scene, but Eddie's arc will be lighter shades working up to the darker ones. And this is a promising start.

But I wanna talk about Eddie's arc on the episode. Because his arc is blue and yellow, but he's drowning in blue. Which is the wrong color. And not just because the uniforms are blue.

Something in particular that's intriguing me is the fact that they changed the waiting room of the hospital, so it is yellowish now, where it used to be a more neutral blue color.

Something else is the fact that this is the school from 504, an episode called home and away, that has "you're the guy who likes to fix things" conversation, where we actually discuss the way blood family knows you differently than a significant other. So we have a few s5 callbacks going on, and I feel like this will be a pattern, even though I don't think Eddie is in route for another full breakdown, I think deconstructing parts of who he is will have a lot of callbacks to his s5 arc.

The dialogue of the ambulance scene is very interesting too, because Eddie is talking about fixing someone's heart in less-than-ideal circumstances, and he actually manages to pull it off after some struggle. I'm probably reading too much into it, but the fifty/fifty on 2 attempts is making me 👀 because if we take this to the more metaphorical possible Eddie and his own heart, unless we are talking Buck, he failed all times, but it interesting to think Shannon vs Buck since Ana and Marisol where superficial relationships. Considering what we know, how young he was and the way his relationship with Shannon got to serious to fast vs the way Buck squeezed his way into his life and Eddie did take some leaps of faith in less than ideal conditions, I can see a symbolism hidden there.

The talk with Bobby is also interesting because of the whole yellowish setting and the implication that the issue can be traced to the mustache, and since we know the mustache is gonna be important for Eddie's character in the following episodes.

But the thing that had me screaming was actually the shop scene. I wrote a meta on this (you can read it here) but 911 uses blue and red for parenting issues. And the shop, the car the dad is working on, and the equipment are blue and red. And that makes sense, they are talking about parenting. Eddie is there as a father, at least at first.

And all of this is happening while Eddie is in white.

After they go outside, while Eddie is talking about being a father in a more detached manner, he is surrounded by the blue and red, even though the chair is yellow.

But while the dad is talking about his struggle understanding his kid, he is blue and yellow. This is interesting even though I don't want to sit here and say that Weston is queer just based on the fact that he's a cheerleader, because yes, the blue and yellow is used for Buck, but is also used for henren, and if we expand on the 911verse, it is also used for tarlos, so the metaphor there.

And attached to all the struggles Eddie has expectations that were placed on him, and specifically 517 where Eddie talks about his father not wanting to seem weak, and how that obviously affected the way Eddie grew up and how he moves on to defending Weston by saying he survived something he knows soldiers who wouldn't, we have something here. Because we don't have the focus on the red anymore once Eddie starts talking.

The green elements of the scene are interesting in the same way I said the orange is interesting about the birthday party (read that one here). Eddie is a green character, I feel like a lot of us associate him with army green, but if I'm right about the color theory we have going, Eddie can't live his life as a secondary color. That's where getting to his yellow comes in.

Eddie needs to move on from that. We talked a lot about the green army armor, with that jacket he wears when Shannon dies and when he leaves the 118 (first 2 pictures up here) so he needs to stop hiding behind the green. And the green is there, but it is out of focus, it's not supposed to be the main thing even tho it does take a lot of space in Eddie's frame. Mostly because you can see the yellow very clearly behind the dad, but not the green car behind Eddie, the edges are blending, which is good. He is moving in the right direction.

He also ends the episode drowning in blue again, which, yk, wrong color.

He's also in the same color he was in 506 after the whole kidnapping and yet another moment Eddie risks everything because there's a kid involved. But this time he can't go home to his kid. Someone give him Chris back right now (set on this parallel here).

So, since Buck's queer arc was blue and yellow, and Eddie just started an arc with those, I am choosing to believe they just kickstarted Eddie's queer arc.

That's all for today, if you read this I love you 💜

taglist (interact with this post if you wanna be tagged, or send me a message, just let me know):

@sparkedblaze @hermioneindisguise @eddiedisasterdiaz @mosaicstardust @stagefoureddiediaz @kejfeblintz @glasscities @angelcamael @sparkedblaze @caw-salem @dreamofsomepiphany @100ceruleaneyes @linus-lucy @chaosqueery @gina-spike @chimchiminie98 @elvensorceress @dangerpronebuddie @ijustdontlikepeople @182daysof @steadfastsaturnsrings @sparklespiff @inell @joshwritesfics @lunarsolar1 @dingdongfries @wolfdeans @jesuisici33 @miles--to--go @hopefuldreamers-world

[hunnylagoon]

Take Me to War

PT2 Metaphor

Streamer! Ellie Williams x reader

Where do I pour my love if you take away my pen and paper?

Premise: You are starting to like your annoyingly loud neighbour more than you want to admit.

PT1 Here!

Warnings: Raunchy humour

The gym was busy on this particular day, I absentmindedly judged others for being at the gym at noon on a Saturday like they should have been doing something more interesting with their time until I realized I was at the gym at noon on a Saturday with no other plans for the rest of the day "And she's hot?" Abby asks me while she effortlessly benches something around 170 and I do nothing more than lean on the wall behind her.  

"She's hot," I answer, scrolling through her feed on Instagram like the weird little stalker I was. I hadn't gone full FBI, just looked her up and possibly watched some of her videos "It's kind of cool that I have an internet celebrity living next to me."

"Define cool," Abby props the bar back onto the saddles of the machine and sits up, taking a chug from her water bottle.

"She is cool," I defend "It's not that weird Minecraft roleplay that your grimy cousins watch, it's just like video games and vlogs, that kind of stuff."

Abby looks back at me, sweat drips from her blonde hairline and rests above her brow "How is that even a career?"

I shrug in response "Sponsorships and donations and shit." 

"Why do people throw so much money at streamers?"

"Parasocial relationships, I wrote an article about it last year which you said you read."

She sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "You were writing a lot of articles, hard to keep up with."

"Define a lot," I mock Abby's words. I glance at a guy in between the rows of gleaming machines, their metallic frames reflecting the obnoxious glow overhead. He had been using the leg press upside down, his neck hunched over into an almost horrifying posture, his shoulders pressing against the top plate. It might've been the most normal thing I've seen in New York.

"So are you going to ask her out?"

I wrinkle my nose, thinking about it "I met her last week, I just don't think I know her that well." Within the past week that I've met her, I've been crawling out to the fire escape every morning just so her drowsy eyes could peer into my vacant skull and in recent months I had given up on dating, like a spider, I devoured my own heart.

"That's kind of the point of dating," She lays back down on the bench press "Getting to know each other."

"I think I'm too busy to date," I tuck my phone into my pocket, crossing my arms while I watch Abby. I wasn't entirely sure that I was too busy to date but I tended to consume myself entirely and make everything far more complicated than it needed to be. I still perform autopsies on conversations I've had years ago, clinging to every word like I need them to survive.

"Why don't you wanna be happy?" She asks, furrowing her eyebrows "You're always getting in your own way, is it a tortured poet type of thing?"

My breath hitches in my throat. How I hate when she's right. The last serious relationship I had was in college and even then I had sabotaged myself, I didn't know where it came from other than a nagging feeling that I wasn't deserving of the love that had been offered up to me on a shining silver platter. "I do I'm-

"Just not ready?" Abby cuts me off, finishing my sentence so perfectly as if it had been words on a script for some boring play about a woman who hates her life and won't do anything about it.

"Yeah," I say, my voice is quiet, she's got me in a box here.

"If you're not ready to date, you might as well be friends with her," She puts the bar back onto the saddles but this time, stands up after completing her reps. "You need to get out and it seems like you get along well."

"I guess," I say and Abby raises an eyebrow "No, you're right, I need to dig myself out of the grave I've dug for myself." What added to my overly apathetic mood was the season, I was so sick of February. It felt like winter had forced mold to grow on my bones to way me down onto the dirty city pavement where careless New Yorkers would gladly stomp over my body.

"How's it going with the family?" Abby is writing something down in her notes which I assume is her number of sets and reps.

"Nothing new," I answer.

She peers at me over her phone, digging for a more solid answer "Are you still sending your parents money?"

"Yes-

"Why?" Her arms dropped to her side, her phone still in one hand "You shouldn't have to play caretaker for two people who don't care about you," As true as it was, it didn't hurt any less to hear it out of my best friend's mouth. 

"It's easier said than done, those are my parents," I'm almost overtaken by a delicate drowsiness from the thoughts of leaving behind the one connection I had to my small-town life. My parents were so careless that I would run around barefoot on the road with the neighbour's kids for hours, narrowly dodging cars that flew past us like it had been a game; everything was a game back then, when I came home to my father's drunkenness, I could hide away in the treehouse and read Harry Potter until the screaming came to a stop.

I was bonded to them like I was to the stray cats who raised me. There was no getting rid of them, we ricocheted between hatred and love like the game of catch I never got to play.  

"I'm sorry," She says though I know it is ingenuine "I shouldn't get in between your family."

Abby didn't know them the same way I did. All she knew was the bloodiness of the relationship that I had cried into her arms, she didn't know how kind the wolves were after they tore me apart. The way my father would cheer for me the loudest at my soccer games and how my mother baked for me after a fight, wasn't the apology that I yearned for but the one that was shoved down my throat.

I dug through my brain to search for a way to change the topic "I saw Owen at the market yesterday and he said he wanted you to call him."

"You're fucking kidding."

My deadline had passed with no issue and I was finally blessing myself with a day where I wasn't chained to my desk. I could finally let my poor bloodshot eyes rest and for once I didn't have to drown them in eyedrops.

I was freshly out of the shower when I heard a knock at my door, Margot yelling at me to answer it. I slipped into a matching pyjama set that Abby gave me on my birthday, hurrying as fast as I could to the door. Margot's consistent screaming did nothing to aid this. 

Ellie was the last person I expected to see on the other side of the door but there she was. I couldn't help the smile that cracked onto my face "Am I the one being loud now?"

She grins at me "No-it's just that my chat has been begging for you to come back all week and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to do a stream with me?"

I looked down at what I was wearing and suddenly felt like the scrouge, all I was missing was a nightcap and a taper candle. "Can I change first?"

"Go ahead but I think this is one of your best looks."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow "You have poor judgement since you've never seen me in anything other than pyjamas."

"We should probably fix that then."

"I guess we should." I smile. I decided against changing, it wasn't like I was going out, just heading to my friend's apartment that was three feet away.

"Say as much or as little as you want," She opens the door to let me in "I owe you big time," Ellie says this like I don't want excuses to spend time for her. Like I haven't been freezing my ass off every day just to talk to her when she watches the city wake up as she prepares to rest her head. 

Ellie's apartment is more lively than the last time I visited, she's adapted some plants that are already beginning to wilt "Have these been getting any sunlight?" 

She furrows her eyebrows "No? They're fake."

"Ellie," I stifle a laugh "I'm like ninety percent sure that fake plants don't wilt."

"Nuh-uh," She walks toward one just rubs its wilting leaf between her thumb and index, it begins to crumble in her hand and she sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "I guess they are real," Ellie pokes a finger into the bone dry soil and wipes the dirt onto her pants "How much do you know about plants?"

"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess more than you."

 She nods "Sounds about right," Ellie walks over to her sink to fill a Game of Thrones mug with water before circling back to water her plants "Drink up little buddies."

"looks like you need some sunlight too," I watch her attempt to revive the dying plants and 

"Yeah," She keeps hyper-focused on the plants but she cracks a small grin, I could've sworn her smile burnt down the library of Alexandria "I think I'm turning into a vampire."

"The sparkly kind?"

Ellie shakes her head as she stands back up to put the mug on the kitchen island "Like the guy from Sesame Street."

I wrinkle my nose "Yeah, you're looking kind of purple."

"Damn, I was worried you would notice," She smiles again as she opens the door to her office, the purple LED lights are still running but the overhead light is turned on and washes away the colour.

The second I step into the room, Ellie rushes ahead of me and almost jumps to grab the folding chair. She sits herself down and pats her fancy gaming chair for me to sit in it. "Guys, she came!" 

I stare at her, eyes wide, jaw slack. "Ellie."

"What?"

"Do you hear yourself?"

She takes a minute to think about it before nodding her head, I could see the exact moment it clicked "No, I hear it," She addresses the camera "Not like that guys but I don't know what she did with her day, not our business though."

Ellie looks at me like she's waiting for approval of her chosen words. After a moment's reflection, I answer dryly "Thanks." 

"Sorry for taking so long, I had to water some plants," She watches the chat bar scroll by, squinting before she leans back in her chair, hand running through her hair "No, that's not code for sex."

"Could be," I shrug.

"They wanna know what your name is."

"Top secret."

"Okay," She reads some more comments from the chat "Can you tell them what you do for work?"

"I'm a ghostwriter," I say, giving a little thumbs up. I saw myself in the monitor and wanted to throw my hands at myself for being so awkward.

"Spooky," Ellie smiles "She writes about people instead of interacting with them, that's why she's socially inept." She reaches for her soundboard and presses a button, sounding a prerecorded effect of a crowd cheering and laughing.

"She's never had a girl in her apartment, that's why she can't flirt." I counter as she throws her hands up, I can tell she's about to retort with something before I cut her off "So what were you doing before you kidnapped me?"

"Guys, I didn't kidnap her, she willingly walked in here without the use of excessive force and I have had many a girl in this apartment," Ellie tells the chat before clicking something on her screen "So, they send in videos and we have to not laugh, which isn't hard because they aren't very funny." 

"You're not funny either but they watch you," I tease, Ellie fights a smile trying to uphold our image of back and-forth pocking and prodding at one another.

"Laugh three times and you're out."

"Of the apartment?"

"No, you just laugh three times and you lose."

"What do I get if I don't lose?"

"Fuck, I dunno," She furrows her eyebrows, searching the room for something. Her eyes land on a small silver tin, she snatches it up into the palm of her pale hand and sits back down "You get my dill dough."

"I'm sorry!?" My head snaps to look at her "Are you sure you aren't a cam girl?"

"No," She pauses "No, I mean no it's not what you think, yes," Ellie backtracks again "I mean I am sure I'm not a cam girl, not that that I'm not sure I'm not a cam girl, because I'm not," She looks like she's sure of what she said like it made perfect sense "Not a cam girl."

"You're not-not a cam girl?" I ask, pointing out the double negative "So you are a cam girl?"

"No," Ellie runs a hand down her face "Can you guys please tell her that I'm not a cam girl?"

Dcknb4llz:She's a cam girl

Nataliadepressed:I just subbed to her only fans!

Mclovin_fury26:She just wants to show you her dill dough 😕

Yayayalorde:I wish she was a cam girl 

The3nd_isn3ar:Ellie pls stop joking about it and become a cam girl already 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Ewmarryme:hahaha Ellie ur so funny now get serious and make an onlyfans

"Anyways," Ellie ignores the chat as they clearly aren't helping her case "This is my dill dough," She shows me the small tin she picked up, there's a picture of a pickle on the front. Over the translucent lid, it surely enough says 'Dill Dough! pickle scented'. It was just green silly putty with an oddly incredulous name.

"I weirdly want that," I answer.

"If you win, it's yours." She tucks it away into the pocket of her sweatpants "Mods, let's get this moving."

We sit through about fifteen minutes of videos; mainly people getting hurt, occasionally one of some type of animal. Nothing funny enough to make either of us laugh except for one of a man falling through a glass table which gets a little chuckle out of Ellie who denies it. 

Another video began playing, it was Ellie in this exact spot, screaming during a game of Fortnite. It looks like it's from the first time she showed me her odd job choice. In the distance, you can hear a knock on the door and this is when I'm sure it's from the day I had been thinking of. Ellie pulls her headphones off and looks at her camera "Shit, I think that's my hot neighbour again."

I slap a hand over my mouth and turn to see Ellie who's looking disappointed at her chat, shaking her head at the camera. "Whoever sent that is fake as fuck."

"So you think I'm hot?"

"Pfft, no, dude, you're ugly as fuck," Ellie makes an overexaggerated confused face like she has no idea what I'm talking about "I was talking about my other neighbour."

Kaylnncourting:Ellie y r u fumbling so bad???????

Overdam00n:You guys were right for saying she doesn't get 🐱🐱🐱🐱

Sestwouth:bruh she's ruining it for herself

Connerstollit:WHY DID SHE SAY THAT 

Cruel_summer:What is wrong with Ellie? Genuinely

F0gg4t:If El doesn't want her, I do

Aliinnnnnaaaaa:First girl she's ever met and she's ruining it

Randelwthehandle:Ugly as fuck??????? who says that 😭😭

Dcknb4llz:wow nice cover up Ellie

Marie_739:Bro Im gonna start calling the girls I like ugly as fuck

"Mr. Quigley?" I ask to which Ellie nods immediately "You think the eighty-seven-year-old veteran who is missing a foot and has swallowed four of his teeth is hot?"

"Yeah," She says, immediately regretting the hole she was digging herself into "I have a thing for older men."

"I don't think you have a thing for men at all, actually."

Her eyes go wide, Ellie opens her mouth to say something and she leans forward in her chair so fast that she falls out and smacks her head on the desk, folding over and onto the ground. I have the biggest smile on my face as I reach for her soundboard and press the cheering crowd effect.  I'm laughing too hard to offer her help, clutching my stomach and keeling over so my head is out of frame. Ellie gets up, and puts herself back in the folding chair pointing at the camera "Do not clip that."

Almost seconds after she says that a video gets sent in of her smacking her head on the desk in slow motion while I burst out laughing and now I'm cackling even harder. You can even hear her yelp in slow motion and she sounds like the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park "You guys are way funnier than Ellie," I say, addressing whoever was watching the stream. 

Another video pops on the screen right after the last one ends, it's Ellie again. She screams at something on her computer and you can hear me bang on the wall on the other side. Ellie goes quiet immediately going back to her game and muttering "She's so hot guys."

"I think my mods hate me," Ellie shakes her head.

"Thank you mods!" I smile at the camera.

A little clip of Ellie back at her desk pops up, she's wearing a Garfield shirt. This time she isn't playing anything, she just sits in front of the camera with that familiar lopsided smile "Guys, how do I trick my neighbour into going out with me?"

There's another video, it's a longer one with the caption 'Ellie Williams calling her neighbour hot compilation' Ellie's eyes go wide and she clicks off the video immediately, the camera goes to us full screen. "That's enough of that."

I pull my phone out and type in the caption of the unfinished video into YouTube, it comes up right away and I click on it. Ellie clicks around on her computer, unaware of my viewing until she hears her voice, echoing in low quality from my phone. She reaches for my phone but I pull it closer to myself. 

I'm dead set on finishing the video until something on the other side of the door, catches my eye. It rushes past the small crack in the slightly ajar door and instinctively, I drop my phone with a slight jolt "What the fuck is that?"

Ellie takes this opportunity to snatch my phone and place it face down on the desk, out of my reach. "That's just Kitty." She pushes herself out of the folding chair and steps out of the room. She walks back in carrying what looks to be a mound of cotton balls, looking a little closer, I realize it's a rabbit. He looks more fluff than flesh.

"What the fuck," My mouth falls open in awe "Can I hold it?" She places him in my lap "He just walks around your apartment?"

She nods "He's litter trained so he just kinda hangs out." 

I pet him, he's soft as a million feathers, and he looks like a mascot for a paper towel company "You are the only person I know that would name their bunny Kitty."

Ellie tries to wipe off the mass amounts of rabbit fur on her, it seems the more she tries to get it off, the more firmly it refuses to budge. "This is a good time to show you guys this new shirt that Dina ordered for me," Ellie stands up walking off camera. She has a couple of Amazon boxes stacked on her couch, she reaches into one of them and pulls out a T-shirt. Ellie turns towards the wall so her back is facing me, she pulls her hoodie off over her head.

All I can see is the back of her sports bra but I force my eyes to go wide "Guys, Ellie Williams has a tramp stamp that says cum dumpster," I lie and the chat goes wild and I grab my phone off her desk as she turns around in her Five Nights at Freddie's tee with a 'Seriously?' face. I take a picture of her with the flash on "I'll sell this rare image of Ellie for six hundred dollars on eBay."

Ellie walks back over to the desk with a stack of Amazon boxes "Every donation goes toward my tattoo removal," She jokes, digging around in the boxes. "I'm a little over your videos, you bunch of snitches so I think it's about time I finally open these up." 

I look in the boxes too, leaning over slightly, being very careful of Kitty where he sits in my lap. I see something and pull it out to hand to Ellie "You should try this one."

"World's hottest gummy bear," She reads the package "Why is there only one? What if I want another?" Ellie yanks the gummy bear, squishing it between her fingers. It looks like Red-40 personified. 

Melanie_felony:She's setting her up lmao

Dcknb4llz:Nobody say anything pls I rlly wanna see this

Elliewsidechick:YALL SHES TOO WHITE FOR THIS STOP

She eats the gummy bear in one bite. As she begins to chew it, she seems absolutely unfazed and partially confused about why it was labelled 'World's Hottest Gummy Bear' A moment later she begins to cough, balling her hand up into a fist and pounding on her chest. Ellie's little cough quickly turns into a deep wheeze.

Ellie lets out a scream, her face going red as she slams her hand onto her desk with watering eyes. I could see visible sweat on her face as she dry heaved, it only took thirty seconds until she sprinted out of the room.

"Oh my god," I watch her run out of the room while I give Kitty a little pet between his ears, he's so still I almost think he's taxidermy. "Guys, I think we killed her." You can hear her vaguely screaming and gagging from the kitchen "So what did everyone do today?"

Thelastgreatamericandynasty:wrote a fanfic about you and Ellie

Dcknb4llz:I got jumped at waffle house 

"Yikes, sorry to hear that." I suck a breath through my teeth "Tell me what I should know about Ellie." Her name feels so right on my tongue.

Jesse_chang:She's a virgin

D4aughter_:OMG HI JESSE

A_birthday_card:The only s3x she's ever had was in Minecraft

Whathasshegot:She has a crush on you 

Touching_theyouth:She's lactose intolerant 

Dcknb4llz:She sold me ketamine in an ally 

Gusty_queefqueen:She homophonic 

Torxhmydreams2:Pretty sure that’s two words that have the same pronunciation but different meaning

Gusty_queefqueen:Bruh it means she doesn’t like gay people

Heytheredelilah7:She has a boyfriend

When Ellie comes back she's filled her Game of Thrones mug with milk and has a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese. She reads the chat "Can you guys be cool for once?"

"They're cooler than you."

"Very funny," Ellie eats a handful of mozzarella before she digs back in the boxes "What's next?" There's one box huge envelope that looks like it has a slip of cardboard in it. Ellie tears the corner open with her teeth and rips the rest of the top off with her hands. She pulls the content out of it, throwing the envelope over the computer for it to land on the ground. Just as suspected there was cardboard in it, not just a slip but it unfolded into a cardboard cut out of Ellie, she looked to be a younger teenager in it, giving an awkward little peace sign and showing her green braces off with a huge smile.

"Aww, you actually look cute in that."

She disregards me "Chat, interrogate Dina about this and report back."

"Dina?" I ask "Is that your girlfriend?"

"Nah," Ellie props up the cardboard cut-out and places it behind us, right in the middle to watch over us "She's my enemy as of right now."

"What did she do?"

"Send this shit," She eats some more mozzarella, holding the bag out to offer me some, to which I decline. Ellie shrugs it off and eats another handful, washing it down with a long chug of milk and putting it on the desk. She grabs a t-shirt, he eyes go wide and she pushes it against her chest so I can't see. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, ma'am," I watch a smile spread across her face as she turns the shirt around to show me a graphic of her on it. In the picture, her face is close up to the camera covered in a white powder (presumably flour). "Oh, wow!" I feign shock.

"I know!" She holds it out toward me "It's yours, you deserve it."

"Wow," I draw the word out, taking the shirt from Ellie "This is really great, I was always hoping I would get a shirt of you covered in flour." Sarcasm drips from tone but I accept the gift regardless.

"I know!" Ellie grins brightly "You should put it on now."

"That's fine, I think I'll save it for our date," I tease.

She perks up just the slightest "Ooo, when's that?"

"The second this stream ends."

"On that note," Ellie looks at the camera "Thank you guys for hopping on tonight and thank you to my neighbour who came here without putting up a fuss," Ellie clicks around on the screen a little bit before addressing them again "Alright, go bug Dina now."

With that the stream comes to a close, the blinking light on the camera turns off, and Ellie and I are left alone with ourselves and Kitty.

“So,” Ellie thumps her foot up and down repeatedly like those anxious kids in high school. “Do you maybe wanna get coffee tomorrow?”

“I don’t drink coffee but I’ll pretend to so I have an excuse to hangout with you.”

A smile splits onto Ellie’s face “Phew, I hate coffee I just thought it was an adult way to ask you out.”

A/N: This is super short but I’ll make up for it in the next part, thanks for reading! We got some angst on the way 👀

Perm tag-list: @veeveeisgay @whenlostinthedarkness @gold-dustwomxn @ellslvr

Series tag-list: @diddiqueen @camillecrellin @fullmachinegirl @eveshyper @lmaoo-spiderman @camicocom1a @elliessweetheart @melanie-watermelon @lanafresitas

[keepingsecretstokeepyoutk]

This is going to be very long and sound a little crazy at first, and maybe a little mean but please hear me out…

I’m convinced that Taylor sometimes purposefully includes one line or multiple lines of poorly written or clunky lyrics in specific songs to make a point.

We all have seen some version of this with bearding songs like London Boy, a simple bop whose lyrics were immediately detected as sounding disingenuous, even with the general population (the locations she was signing about were the most touristy and too far away from each other to visit on the same day, etc, basically implying that she doesn’t actually have a long term local bf there that she spends a bunch of time with exploring the city with, etc).

But just like everything else on the album, I think she’s doing maybe a more in your face version of that. No holds barred.

So High School is an obvious example of this, with all of the early 2000’s hs imagery, she seems pretty blatantly to be mocking the idea the public has of her “living out every American girl’s high school fantasy” of dating the tall popular football player. With lyrics like “touch me while your friends play grand theft auto” (barf), etc, shes being clear enough that this is not a serious song.

This is the possibly controversial part, but I’m so curious to see what others think about this - I think another iteration of this on this album is the title track, The Tortured Poets Department. Hear me out.

(First, I want to reassure you that there are lines in this song that I really like and think are well written, like: “you’re in self-sabotage mode/throwing spikes down on the road” and “but you awaken with dread/pounding nails in your head/but I’ve read this one/where you come undone/I chose this cyclone with you”. And I fully agree with the idea that these sentiments are from Karlie’s perspective. Basically, when you take out the chunks I’m about to talk about this song makes way more sense and has a beautiful sentiment of undying love behind it - which makes the following parts stick out that much more!)

The first time I listened through the album, and this was the second song, I got terrified because I didn’t understand its place in the whole narrative and when I heard the first clunky line “scratch your head like a tattooed golden retriever” I got the ick. Then the bridge with no structure and no wit and no clever turns of phrase, no metaphor, just “you put my ring on the finger people put wedding rings on” and “that was the closest I’ve ever been to my heart exploding”. So over simplified and cheesy, and doesn’t sound anything like her writing, especially the caliber of her recent lyrics

I know art is largely subjective, but I insist there is no way that the same person who wrote Cowboy Like Me wrote these lines into her title track if she didn’t have a reason and a point to make. To make it clear that this isn’t a matter of genre personal taste, because I know CLM is a very specific sound and a style that music snobs often take more seriously - I love SO many of her candy pop bangers, they are infinitely more clever, articulate, and overall works of art by a true wordsmith than this. Karma, The Very First Night, etc are all a master classes in clever words and tight writing being tucked into an “unserious” pop song.

The lyrics I cited above to me sound like what haters believe her writing sounds like, even fans who make little jokey TikTok’s about her and make up a spoofy something to sing while in character - that’s what these lyrics sound like.

Im worried im being too harsh, but please stay with me because the more I think about the more genius I think it actually is.

In the context of the themes of rest of the album, (her being trapped, miserable, manipulated, ready to burn it all down, screaming to be seen) this theory became clear to me. I think she’s leaning into her public persona (in more ways than one, we’ve already seen it with the stunting), in a way setting a “trap” for her fans and the public, that will essentially call them all out on how they ignored the real her in favor of her pr narrative, making the album about paternity tests, etc, all of which I’m guessing will become very clear in retrospect, possibly after she comes out? (Of course it’s already clear to us now, which is another purpose of the beard songs including clunky writing - to signal to us that these are not serious and that she knows that we know that she knows (like Phoebe on friends lol))

Ultimately, this is (along with So Highschool) a classic beard song. When she writes in this voice, she embodies the most extreme versions of her public persona, not just the one she has cultivated on purpose, but also the one that people have of her that don’t know her (as she did in Blank Space), including those that don’t take her seriously - because her identity as a boy crazy psycho ex girlfriend is directly tied to people dismissing her art as vapid because, they’ve only ever heard her singles, they don’t know the full her.

That voice is the straightest, the most boy crazy, the most one note, and sometimes the most unsophisticated writer version of her that people have in their minds, including her fans - the fans that refuse to see her as a whole person, the real, that believe she is head over heals for big football boy, that believe “he knows how to ball, I know Aristotle” is a romantic line about how opposites attract, the fans that say they don’t “get” some of her most beautiful and well-written songs, the fans that don’t see her and haven’t been seeing her.

They didn’t see giant Taylor on the eras tour, they refuse to see all of her queer signaling, etc, and I think she’s making the bearding songs obvious to underscore the difference between her Taylor(TM) and Taylor(person) personas.

She knows that despite the fact that the lyrics don’t even come close to measuring up to the rest of the album, the public, and many of her fans, will make this song one of the most listened to simply because they are looking for evidence of her relationships from the past year. We’ve all commented on how insane it is that this layered, complex, devastating album is being reduced to the usual paternity tests. This is currently one of the top songs precisely because it is “about Matty”. And of course, So High School is one of the tops songs along with it because it’s “about Travis”.

The juxtaposition of the bearding songs alongside her beautifully written poetry of Prophecy, Peter, Whose Afraid of Little Old Me, Cassandra, How did it end, The Albatross, etc mirrors the juxtaposition of her two selves during the Midnights era.

She has proven the point that if they think she wrote every line of this song completely in earnest, then they see her largely no differently than her haters do, as a subpar writer who writes absurdly cheesy love songs praising trashy to mediocre, problematic men. By eating it up they tell her that’s what she’s good for, for being the subject of tabloids and warring fans who make this entire album about two (purposefully) mediocre songs and the men who “inspired” them.

She has proven her point - that a subset of her fans will be distracted by a lesser song simply because they think it’s about one of the greasy men that’s she been seen holding hands with. That they will ignore once again all of her pleas to be seen, that she’s in pain and caged, and has been driven insane by their willful ignorance. That they don’t appreciate her full potential and talent, that they don’t even see it, and just want to be confirmed in their ideation of her.

This song is essentially the “forget him(her)” pill at the beginning of the fortnight mv, but it’s a sedative for the fans, who are addicted to her straight narrative. Similar to Willow’s 13 chants of “that’s my man” that started off evermore, casting a spell of heteronormativity over everyone who wanted it, so that they could choose to just completely ignore the following 14 gayest songs ever written. Don’t pay no mind to her singing directly about women with zero male perspective - she said “that’s my man!” We’re good! She’s still straight!

Taylor in the fortnight mv had to a take a sedative to be able to go into the next room and write her bearding songs - ie she self medicates to deal with keeping up the straight persona and to get through having to release dumbed down songs to feed the masses. (I also see the pill as something forced on her, I think it represents both layers)

From the first time I watched the music video I thought the writing Taylor looked so miserable and the bearding songs are why.

In this room she’s trapped, churning out the songs that her fans expect of her, the songs that make her team money, the songs that make her money, but that she has to compromise her truth to create.

But when she frees herself she’ll burn the stories that weren’t true, the filler that doesn’t represent her.

I’m curious to hear other’s thoughts on this - have you ever felt like Taylor purposefully inserts off-sounding lyrics that are written in a different voice to make a point?

I want to reiterate that it’s not the entirety of either song that I think is terrible, I genuinely love bopping along to both So High School and TTPD (track). Like I said above, when you remove the clunky lines from ttpd (track), the song has another layer and likely gives voice to some Karlie insight that is beautiful and tragically profound. It’s the red herrings, the pieces specifically meant to tie this song to a bearding narrative, that I’m dissing, and the only reason they are suspicious in the first place is because I know how gifted Taylor is with the written word.

Taylor is such a skilled writer that she can embody the voice of the bad writer that dismissive ignorant idiots believe her to be, just to make a point!

I even wonder if maybe there is a second version of this song locked away in one of those drawers in the fortnight writing room that leaves out the red herrings and is a thousand times better than the bearding version we got.

I hope one day we get to hear it.

[sepublic]

Alright, let's talk about some details from the TOH pitch bible;

A lot of the stuff is what we've already seen and/or in line with the show. What's interesting is that King WAS a former King of Demons at one point, and we would've had an episode where he runs into his old gang and chooses Luz and Eda over them. It makes me wonder if he even had a connection to the Titan in earlier drafts, if he wasn't recognized as one back in the day because he just wasn't big enough, etc. Eda makes a deal to help remove the collar, which IS the source of King's woes, placed by a 'mysterious wizard', I wouldn't be surprised if it was Obron AKA Proto-Belos.

What gets me is that Tibbles originally started off as a friend to the protagonists, while Bump was an antagonist! Coupled with Tibbles being re-elected as mayor after Bump is deposed for corruption. I like the detail of Bump being a parasite controlling a body from the head, because it carried over into his final design with Frewin, and before we got confirmation Frewin was a separate entity, I loved the joke theory that the imp on Bump's head was the REAL Bump!!! Seems that was always the implied story of the design, I love it. Tibbles being the demon fan of human stuff would eventually become Gus instead, so this is technically Proto-Gus too…?

Interesting how Bump and Tibbles' alignments switch completely with one another, and it makes sense that with Lilith no longer the principal in the final draft, it goes to Bump, who ends up being really chill and a subversion in his own right! Interesting, but I do prefer the final Bump we got, and that's fine by me, because when the concepts aren't as interesting as the final product, it means we got the best possible version.

I've already discussed Obron and William in a separate post, and Pupa is someone we've been told about in a previous livestream. Lilith would've been both head of all covens (and not just the Emperor's Coven) AND principal at the same time, and she seems much more of a jerk to Eda in general; She has no qualms with cursing Eda because of a direct order from Obron.

Apparently the curse would've been an AGING spell, which settles my questions on how it would've been portrayed in earlier drafts! This goes along with Eda's older look. Likewise, there would've been a subplot of Eda considering Luz's sacrifice as a way to restore her youth, which likely goes hand in hand with Obron's orders to bring Luz to her, etc. The 'Bloom of Eternal Youth' quest, which Eda and Lilith go through together as their sisterly relationship is explored, feels like a carryover from this past idea.

I think I prefer the final draft; I like that the curse isn't just aging Eda, but also takes away her magic, makes her turn into a beast, etc. I like Lilith being a lot more complicated in her relationship with Eda, instead of just hating her and cursing her without hesitation. The redefining of the curse makes it less about age, and more a chronic illness metaphor, and I like how Eda in the final draft is upfront about having to learn to live with it, deal with it, on her own terms. She isn't trying to find a cure (although Lilith being promised one by Obron feels like a carryover of Eda's moral dilemma with Luz), and that adds another nice dimension to her conflict with Lilith, as well as Gwen. It's pretty frank in its own right about normalizing disability, and those who play an antagonistic role (however brief) are the real weirdoes for making such a fuss about it.

The Bat Queen would've had more of a recurring role based on the description, which saddens me; I always got the vibe she was planned for more, but between all of the other stuff the show had to juggle, plus the shortening, she ended up getting shafted despite being one of the earlier characters. Sashley, Pasha, and Bruno are also interesting, with Pasha in particular giving me freaking Philip Wittebane vibes with his grossness, beard, and anti-demon attitude; He even starts off as a potential friend to Luz because fellow human, only for his true bigotry to show. Makes me wonder if Philip ended up incorporating Pasha, we also have bodily transformation because of consuming magical stuff... P-names.

(Also, I like how in the drawing of typical Demon Realm denizens, I can see an eye demon who resembles a past drawing of Dana's!!!)

Eda was actually a late bloomer, which creates a parallel with Luz in one way, and their relationship is referred to as sisterly (in the final draft it’s explicitly maternal). So Eda wouldn't have been the talented youth, in fact things may have switched between her and Lilith; Lilith's disdain may have partially come from Eda not being as innately talented as her.

Luz and Amity's dynamic seems like it would've had Amity retain a lot of her more stand-offish, pragmatic personality even as a friend with Luz, and this would've come up more; So basically, she'd remain more like S1 Amity. That, or this part of their relationship would've lasted longer, and then we would've seen character development as Amity unlearns a lot of the issues her parents passed on. I also wonder if the Willow who cameos in the pilot was originally supposed to just be an extra separate from ‘Paulina’, but then they combined the two together.

The themes are exactly as I expected, glad to see they're still there, nothing changed! Luz becoming a witch and defying all odds to do so, putting in real work and passion. Celebrating individuality amidst conformity, plus Luz trying to impose her own fictional tropes onto the world, only to have to put that aside... Just like Wing it like Witches. It seems Amity would've had more involvement with Luz's journey to become a witch, though we still do have a carryover of that disconnect with her rant near the end of Covention.

I love the Demon Realm being situated BELOW the Human Realm, way to be subtle about being Hell you guys lol... Apparently portals to the human world are a lot rarer to find and use, which makes me wonder if the pilot's 'dimension port' doesn't have access to the human world; Meaning Amity is Luz's only way back, so her improved relationship with her is linked to getting back home. There's a gag about the Knee having service with the human world, but I can see how that didn't make the cut, for dramatic purposes; It seems like the premise for a S1 episode or at least a B-plot. Would Luz have struggled to communicate with Camila through this, or would her search for wi-fi be for mundane reasons?

Apparently Luz's magic would've required a lot more steps to complete, and I see why the show simplified things down to just glyphs. I wonder if there was always going to be the connection of glyphs as a gift from the Titan, or if the Titan and her story was going to be less intertwined in the overall narrative. There also don't seem to be nine main covens, just the many, many covens, some of which are pretty ridiculous, and Covention's sub-covens seem a callback to that.

Luz's first spell would've been levitation, and THEN she would've infiltrated Hexside, with Amity being a lot subtler about exposing Luz, though in the final draft she does figure that out as the way to go in I was a Teenage Abomination. Yeah, I prefer Light being her original spell, feels so much more symbolic and personal, etc. I wonder if the Titan is even as much of a character in early drafts, and if there's still the whole connection/relationship with the land and learning to respect it aspect. Some of these hypothetical episodes push the idea of Amity as a more episodic, typical popular kid antagonist, though in the final draft, the show goes through her character development and explores Amity's romantic relationship with Luz and its complications.

It seems the idea of the Mirror Ghost was split into Adegast and Vee, with Adegast being the one who offers the easier narrative for Luz to believe in about becoming a witch (only to be a fraud who uses uncanny puppets), and Vee being a doppelganger whom Luz communicates through with mirrors. Interesting how Yesterday's Lie was born from this. We saw the test animation from Spencer Wan for TOH, so I guess we know what Luz's puppet-doppelganger is called! And we can safely call her Proto-Vee. I wonder if she also would've been a sympathetic character, I always thought she reminded me of Lake from Infinity Train (and speculated her to be as such since Enchanting Grom Fright), and now the similarities are even MORE apparent!

Alas, The Good Witch Azura, or 'The Unassuming Princess' seems like it'd have been a lot less dear to Luz's heart, as the pilot also reflects; In the end, it turns out the author is just Eda's ex using her adventures as basis, and including private information. I remember when I once speculated that Raine, before we saw their face, would've been just like this as the author of Azura... Again, I think I prefer Azura as being a lot less mean-spirited in the final draft, and instead a celebration of who Luz is as a person, her relationship with fantasy and fiction, etc. We also would've had a Luz birthday party, the Quincenera we've been hoping for since S1...! In the final draft (and episode) we still get that Human-Demon Realm disconnect, though by that point, Luz is much more attuned and chill with the isles.

There’s definitely more of an episodic, sitcom feel to this pitch bible, especially when you compare Proto-Yesterday’s Lie to its final version. Makes sense, Dana is pitching this to Disney executives, though her statement on Understanding Willow feeling truly like her show makes me wonder if she always intended to push TOH in that more serious, emotional route we got.

[natlovesls2]

Right Where You Left Me

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

Warning: no use of y/n, swearing, some angst, all images used are not mine and are from pinterest, possible grammatical errors, mentions of blood once or twice, randomly changes pov, brief mention of mental illness (and the slight misunderstanding it/ disregarding it), I'm American (I think that should be a warning 🤷‍♀️ ), a little rushed, there might be more that I missed, feel free to correct me

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Lando living in the past or literally Taylor Swifts RWYLM

Quick note: italics are flashbacks and normal font is present time

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Lando sat on the bar stool at the restaurant you both had frequented during the relationship, a place of sentimental value. He stared at the table where it had all happened– where your relationship had started and where it had ended. The table next to the window that overlooked the bustling streets, where on that rainy day he had mustered all his courage and asked you to be his girlfriend. The small table that barely fit both of your food and was often uncomfortable to fit at. The table with the mix-match chairs because the original were old and Lando had broken one of the chairs on your first date. The same table that he continued to seek out despite its lack of hope. 

He looked up from his menu and stared at you, admiring how your face filled with concentration and indecision despite frequently eating there. You would sit there staring at the menu for minutes, occasionally asking for his opinion on what to order, asking the waitress for more time when she approached to take your order. It was the same routine every time the two of you went out, he knew you would eventually sigh and order some type of pasta. 

“Okay, okay– I’ll just get the soup of the day,” you said, catching him off guard. He quickly looked up from his own menu, brows furrowed in confusion at your choice of food. 

“Soup?” he asked, tilting his head as he asked, watching as you nodded and looked at the window being hit by a steady stream of rain. 

“It’s cold outside,” you said with a shrug and a soft smile that reminded Lando of all the reasons he had fallen for you. He watched as you smiled at the elderly couple beside you and the way you quickly stood up to help the man when he dropped his silverware. 

“How long have you been married for?” you asked the couple as you placed the silverwave back on their table. The dinner went on with you occasionally making conversation with the elderly couple, smiling widely at them. You would turn to Lando a few times, whispering about wanting to be exactly like them when you both got older. 

“Marry her, don’t let her get away,” the older man said to Lando, patting him on the back as he and his wife left, causing Lando to chuckle.

“He’s not wrong… I shouldn’t let you go,” he said, nervously playing with the food on his plate. There was silence– not an awkward unmanageable silence but the thoughtful, yet comforting type. He glanced up from the table, noticing your small smile and it gave him enough courage to finally ask; “Well, I guess what I’m trying to say… umm– will you be my girlfriend?” he whispered, quickly averting his gaze back to his plate. 

“If you’re not joking right now, I would love to be your girlfriend.”

The couple that approached the table and sat there brought him back to his senses, forcing him to turn away, reminding him that the table and its memories no longer belonged to him. The table had been snatched from him, you had taken it and destroyed every last bit of it. Using its worn wood to make a boat which you had used to sail away from his life– metaphorically of course. 

He supposes he doesn’t know the exact point in which the relationship started to deteriorate. One moment you both seemed to be hopelessly in love with one another, and the next you were distancing yourself from Lando and your shared friendships– playing it off as being busy focused on your work and studies. He could still somehow vividly remember the day you left– still feeling the weight of the night suffocating him.

“Let’s just go and have dinner, if you still feel bad we could leave early,” Lando whispered as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his head against your back. 

The drive to the restaurant was silent– the type of silence that made anyone feel uneasy. The type of silence that would push you to nervously pick at the skin around your nails until it bled. 

“Do you want me to order for you?” Lando asked, looking up from his menu to see you staring down at your hands as you continued to quickly and nervously pick at your skin. “Hey are you okay?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine– you wouldn’t mind ordering for me would you?” you asked him, your voice sounding distant and void of emotion as you finally noticed the small pricks of blood– carelessly wiping it off on your jeans.

“I don’t mind at all… are you sure you’re okay?”

“I think we should break up,” you impulsively said, nervously running your hands along your thighs in order to stop the urge to continue to pick at your skin.

“If this is because of your… issues then we can work through it together. You don't have to struggle alone,” he whispered, desperately attempting to save the relationship, which he thought was stronger than ever. 

“That's not what this is about, Lando–”

“Then what is it? Because I don't see why we have to break up. I love you and I thought you felt the same way.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Then what do you expect me to do? I’m not going to sit back and watch you destroy this because you’re going through a mood” he reaches over the table to grab your hands in his own, as an attempt to calm you. 

“I don’t… I don’t find joy in this anymore– it has nothing to do with my mental health. We aren’t the people we were when we first got together, Lando. I want more than this– I know I want more than this” you responded, moving your hands out of his own.

“And I can’t give you more?”

“I’m sorry” you abruptly stood from your chair, walking out of the restaurant. Lando stayed there for what felt like an eternity, body frozen with shock and slight embarrassment. 

He felt the eyes of their waiter, who you had become rather close with over the years, sympathetic eyes that made contact with his own as he attempted to keep himself together. 

“Haven’t seen you here in a while, you want the usual or something new?” Alex, the waiter who had witnessed the whole relationship, asked. 

“You still remember my order?”

“Of course I do,” Alex let out a small laugh, “You and… you practically lived here before you stopped coming.”

“Yeah, I guess I did. I’ll take the usual then” Lando turned to look at the table once more, envying the happy couple that now claimed the weathered table as their own. 

“I don't mean to overstep but I’ve seen her come with some guy. I think it's time for you to move on– I mean, clearly she has”

Lando nodded, slowly turning away from the table watching as Alex sadly smiled at him before walking towards the kitchen. You had been here with another man– moved on, as Alex had put it. He struggled to look straight ahead, the table in some weird way had a sort of magnetic pull on him. It urged him to take one final look at it– it wanted to taunt him with what ifs and happy painful memories. The sound of cheers finally pushed him to turn towards the table once more. Watching as the couple that sat there promised to marry one another– the table had issued one final blow. A reminder to Lando that you would never want that with him, he would never be able to promise himself to you at that damned table– it now belonged to someone else.

 He supposed it never really belonged to him to begin with. He had been stupid to think that a table would be the glue that would forever hold your relationship together. Of course, he would be lying if he said he didn't still love you or yearn for your affection. If you ever thought you were wrong about your decision that night, he would take you back in an instant. But as he sat there in the suffocatingly happy atmosphere, he couldn't help but think that perhaps the table wasn’t as important as he had thought it to be. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on– to start over.

“Hey,” said a voice from beside him. 

He couldn’t help the smile that came to his face as he turned to look at the source of the soft voice, “Hey.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Is it chilly in here? (and then the live studio audience laughs)

Barbie dolls: jegulus x gn!reader

Word: 7.3k (ish i just couldn’t shut up dude)

summary: James and regulus are ice skaters now and are in a competition you’re dating reg and after he and James train together some tensions arise reg makes rash descions at the competition

Warnings: no magic world heavily insinuated, inspired by the Olympics but it’s not the Olympics, you jokingly say you love reg’s feet BUT NOT LIKE THAT THEYRE METAPHORICAL, do whatever want tho suck toes in your free time idc,regulus is trans and skating prodigy, James is very giggily and flustered by the mere existence of regulus ngl, Sirius and you are kinda bitchy but like in a fun besties way if that makes sense, insinuated wolf star, mentions of the black family nasty, Sirius has a tendency to share childhood stories that do not lighten the mood, also I only found out that flips were illegal in ice skating competitions after I was 4 thousand words in so just pretend for me okay baby, mentions of transphobia, mention of prayer but it’s one sente about the possibility of someone maybe saying a prayer it’s not like “and then Y/N swung her beautiful religous hair over shoulder before praying to her one true god”, talks of perfectionsim and self doubt blah blah blah, sexual jokes oopsies, Sirius wears gold, ice skating written by someone whose hobby is writing (not a sport), allusion to autistic reg (if I'm autistic then reg can be too WHOS WITH ME), yadda yada

Regulus was beautiful. It was written into his DNA. His family was bred like dogs to find the perfect combination that created the perfect children. But with all said and done, with his mother’s image only ghosting his mirror on bad days, he was still gorgeous. Everyone knew it. Eyes would flock to him like starving coy fish in tourist attractions did to food. He was accustomed to them and ignored them perfectly. You knew it. He was gorgeous in the shower while you washed his hair. He was beautiful in the mornings when he pleaded with his pretty eyes for just five more minutes. He was pretty when your kisses made him flush. None of which could compare to the beauty of him on the ice.

Initially, you thought he was kidding when he told you he was a professional figure skater. Then he took you to the rink he most practiced at and found an entire glass case dedicated to him. Regulus Black was plastered over plaques, medals, and newspapers. A large frame had his glittery suit from one of the pictures on the front page of some newspaper. And when you asked if you could see, you were blown away. He moved his body in ways you didn’t know were possible. You felt like he was some kind of god that just so happened to fancy skating, and you.

According to him, all of his family members were prodigies in something. His mother was a painter, masterpieces hung over the fireplace and were comparable to the masters. His father was an amazing lawyer, getting high cases and winning every case he took. His brother was an amazing ballerina. They were both put into classes when they were little, excelling fast, but Sirius felt his mother’s nails digging into his shoulder every time he put on his pointe shoes. Regulus was pulled out of lessons when he was 14 after his parents learned of his trans identity. They said something about him getting ideas from all the tights or something.

Sirius stopped dancing and instead picked up a Chef’s hat. He excelled there too. He made more than his parents would’ve left him after learning about his queerness and started his own restaurant. He got deals up the wazzo. Sirius’ face was plastered on magazines, books, and TV shows. People interviewed him and apparently, he never missed an opportunity to mention his talented brother.

Regulus picked up skating after he was kicked out at 16. He became more accepting of himself while his parents’ hatred grew. Regulus stayed with Sirius. There was a small competition going on at the skating rink for a small cash prize but they were both struggling so Regulus thought, what else could I possibly have to lose? He stunned everyone there with his skills, including a random scout who saw potential in Regulus. Thus sparked him to become more and more famous and more and more skilled.

You massaged Regulus’ muscles when they were sore. You cheered at his competition. You brought him a warm lunch, even though he told you he packed it. You watched in awe at his practices, yelling encouragements when he fell. Even though you’d seen all the bruises and sores, proof that he was just human with great skills, he still felt unreal while he was in his skates.

You knew your way through the rink very well. You’d been there a million times, most to pick up Regulus and or bring him lunch. Today you were picking him to go get lunch together. He had a big competition coming up. In just a few months, he’d be bedazzled and performing in front of a panel of judges. You really just wanted to get him food and run him a warm bath, mayhaps even throw in a nice massage to relax his nerves more. His anxiety was making you anxious.

You could hear the music to his routine playing through the speakers as you opened the door. You could see the swirl of his black outfit as you peered through the plexiglass. You walked around the side of the rink, heading towards where Regulus always throws his jacket. You furrowed your eyebrows as you saw someone sitting a few seats away from the one with Regulus’ jacket thrown over the back. You watched the man sitting there, stare in awe at your boyfriend. You much preferred when people enjoyed his talent than his looks.

The man himself wasn’t hard on the eyes. He had black curls that were definitely messier than Regulus’ but you’d witnessed Regulus’ 27-step routine and precise plopping so you weren’t surprised. This man also appeared to be in a skating outfit, when working out it usually just looked like leggings and some shirt. Once you’ve seen it a million times, you kinda got the gist. His jaw was slack, staring at the ice. He ran his hands over his face before noticing you. You gave him a small smile before moving to the side of the small swinging door.

You looked out to watch Regulus spin so fast you almost couldn’t even recognize him. You let out a whistle and clapped your hands. Regulus’ spin lost momentum, he set his foot down so both skates were on the ice. Regulus shook his arms out before glancing up to smile at you. You waved and turned back to the other man just sitting there as Regulus started pacing. The man looked away from Regulus, pointing at him as he met your eyes.

“Do you know him?” He asked. You nodded. The man ran his hands down his face again. He muttered something that you assumed was a prayer or a curse. You tilted your head back looking at Regulus standing near another wall of the rink, apparently sizing up the ice. You looked back at the man.

“Are you okay?” You asked, getting a little worried about the amount of pain and stress this man was going through. He gave you a short smile.

“yeah, yeah, I just have this competition in a few months. I’m just a little worried I might not, you know, be good enough.” He said, wringing his hands. You cooed. This man seemed sweet, and he was hot.

“Oh my god in a few months? I think he’s in the same one.” You said. You jutted your thumb over your shoulder, pointing at Regulus. You were excited you got to meet someone else in the competition. What a small world. This news seems to worsen the man's mood, making him groan and clack his teeth.

“That’s what I was worried about. If he’s my competition, I’m not going anywhere.” He muttered. You shook your head, glancing back to see Regulus in the same spot. Calculations, probably.

“He’s a freak, He’s been doing this since he was like 16 he’s just like not a real person. Don’t think about him, you’re going to do just fine. Trust me.” You said. You hoped you were reassuring, but it’s a little hard to do when Regulus is his competition. It’s not like he’s getting first place, second maybe, but first is out of the question.

“Thanks that was kind of nice to hear. I’m James.” James said, giving you a small wave. You introduced yourself before quickly holding your finger up when you heard the familiar sound of Regulus setting his feet. James pulled himself out of his seat, moving to stand next to you. Regulus started quickly moving across the ice, if outside in the parking lot it’d be considered running. Before your brain could catch up, Regulus jumped and flipped. His legs were in the air, flat in a line. You screamed and cheered in response to seeing him flip. One of your personal favorite moves but you’d never tell him that. Regulus’ foot hit the ice again, facing the other direction than it started. Just as you thought he was going to stick the landing, he stumbled. Regulus crashed into the ice, making a loud thwack noise.

You winced as James hissed next to you. You cringed and hid behind the short wall before standing up and staring at Rgeulus lying flat on his stomach. James shook his hand out like he was the one hurt.

“Oh, damn. Come on, Reg! Get up!” You yelled, your voice hit the wall behind Regulus’ crumpled form and traveled back to you. James brought his fist to his mouth, sinking his teeth into his knuckles. Regulus’ head picked up off the ice and swung back to face you.

“Fuck off. Give me a second.” You and James reeled back as Regulus laid his head back down. James glanced at you.

“Oh, he’s lovely.” James muttered. You smiled happily, nodding aggressively.

“I know, right?” James glanced back out at Regulus lying on the ice. He slowly picked himself up, pausing to sit in a slumped position. You cooed at his sad form. Regulus got back onto his feet, making his way over to the swinging door you were waiting by. He looked mad. When he reached the door, You held it open for him. Regulus slowly walked onto the carpet, slumping into the chair with his jacket.

“You did good. You slipped, that’s no biggie. You’re on a big block of ice it’s almost guaranteed that you slip.” You said. Regulus glanced up at you through his hair as he pulled at his laces harder than he should. Regulus shook his head.

“I shouldn’t be slipping this close to competition,” Regulus muttered. You shook your head at him, incessant perfectionism. Regulus tugged at his laces, getting frustrated at the knot that wouldn’t come undone. He groaned and flung himself back in his chair, covering his face with his hand. You rolled your eyes at his dramatism. You crouched down and began unknotting his laces, you dropped a light kiss on his knee.

“You’re just fine, baby. Trust me.” You whispered, pulling his skate off and moving to the next one. Regulus let out a small sigh.

“Yeah, I think you did great,” James added, reminding you that he was there. Regulus unhid his face, looking over at James.

“Oh sorry, I’m James. Reg right?” James asked. You paused in untieing Regulus’ skates, to look back at James. Regulus dropped his hand into his lap. You both stared at him, trying to calculate where exactly he got the idea that he could use Regulus’ nickname. James looked between you and Regulus, noticing the change in the air. James dropped his outstretched hand, giving up on the handshake.

“Regulus.”

“oh, whoopsie.” You ignore James, turning back to Regulus’ skate.

“Sorry, who are you?” Regulus asked, a mean tone nipping at James’ hand. You smacked your lips, as you slipped off his last skate.

“Regulus.” You scolded, pulling his day-to-day shoes over towards you. Regulus looked down at you in question, wondering why you were scolding him.

“Oh, I’m a skater, too. Apparently, we’re in the same competition. You’re crazy good though, so doubt I’ll get anywhere on the podium.” James said. James apparently tended to down-talk his own skill, though that might just be the effect Regulus had on people. You pulled Regulus’ foot up to slip on his day-to-day shoes, you’re already down there might as well. Regulus’ eyes shot down to you. He shot forward in his chair, shooing your hands away.

“No. You did my skates, you’re not doing my shoes, too.” Regulus muttered as he pulled his shoes from your grip. You sighed and stood up, dusting your knees off. Regulus was so contrary. “It’s not like you saw me do anything good, I was fumbling all over the place. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” Regulus whispered as he pulled his shoes on.

“You need lunch, a massage, a good lay, a nice warm bath, and a lot of sleep. That’s just my personal opinion though.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest. James awkwardly glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. Regulus hummed.

“And from who exactly am I supposed to receive this ‘good lay’ from?” Regulus teased, looking up from his shoes to grin at you. You slumped, giving him a disappointed face.

“Oh, ha-ha.” You said, rolling your eyes. James changed the topic, most likely trying to get the image of naked Regulus out of his head.

“You’re really skilled though, and your…um- friend here told me that you’ve been competing since you were a teen?” James said, pointing at you. Maybe he couldn’t figure out how to put two and two together or maybe he didn’t want to jump to conclusions. You smiled at James, he was kind after all.

“Yeah, I’ve been fairly successful with my competitions.” Regulus mutered. You squinted at him as he finished tying his shoes. Regulus tended to talk down his skill, you suppose he and James had that in common. James pulled his shoulders up to his ears and fiddled with his hands.

“Not to be weird, and you can totally say no, but do you think maybe you could watch me practice really fast and then toss a couple of tips at me? It won’t take long, you’ll have plenty of time to go get lunch.” James said. Regulus sat up straight, resting his hands on his thigh. He looked over to you. Regulus was silently asking if you were okay with this happening. You shrugged, yeah it’s whatever.

“Yeah, I have time,” Regulus said. You could’ve sworn you heard James squeal before he ripped off his jacket and skated onto the ice. Regulus stood up, moving to lean against the wall. You joined him at his side, watching James intently through the plexiglass.

James was beautiful on the ice too. You could see the difference between James and Regulus. Regulus was precise. James was more focused on the big picture. James’ arms stuck a little more when he spun, grimaced more, and gave himself the space to make mistakes. Regulus would rather rip his hair out than make mistakes. After James did a few tricks that made you cheer and Regulus hum, James finished his routine and skated over to the door you and Regulus were loitering by.

“So?” James asked, a twinge of uneasiness making his eyes squint. Regulus hummed. He clicked his tongue before looking up to meet James’ eyes.

“Do you have a pen? I think I’ll write down some tips and my number so we can practice together. After the competition, I’ll have plenty of free time to help you train.” Regulus said, keeping a professional tone. You clapped your hands with a bright smile. You looked at James to see him a little sad.

“That means he sees potential in you. He wants to work with you more because he’d rather have you as a friend than an opponent.” You said, smiling at James. Your cheer spread to him, his smile reaching to the corner of his eyes.

“Yes, is that not what I said?” Regulus looked over at you, raising an eyebrow. James let out another squeal, pushing away from the wall to spin around in a circle. You smiled at him. Regulus tilted his head as he watched James. You pulled on his arm, knocking your cheek into his shoulder.

James returned to you two, smiling brightly. Regulus pulled away from you turning to his bag sitting on the floor next to his seat. While he dug through it, you gave James a few compliments. Your kind words made him giggle, covering his face with his hands. Regulus returned with his small notebook and pen, tearing a page out. He folded it before sticking it out to James. James thanked him greatly, securing the paper in his pocket.

“Right, well. James, you can message me and we can train later, but as of right now I need to take my lovely partner out to lunch.” Regulus said, swinging his bag over his shoulder before reaching out towards you. He intertwined his fingers with yours, pulling you closer to him. James nodded quickly, agreeing immediately.

Regulus pulled you away from the rink, starting your walk to the parking lot. When you let the rink door close behind you, you spoke up to Regulus.

“He was hot.” Regulus pounced when he heard you. His head spun around to face you.

“I know! I hope you don’t mind that I gave him my number, he really is talented. I think with enough training we could even enter a duo competition. I always wanted to do one of those.” Regulus said, glancing out the corner of his eye at you. You nodded and rubbed his arm lightly.

“I don’t care about you giving him your number. However, if you do want to make a romantic move, I’d like you to speak with me first. I feel like we should both move towards that if we want him to join our relationship.” Regulus hummed, agreeing with you. You started leading him to the car, fishing your keys out of your pocket.

“And vice versa, I’d like you to speak to me before you make a move on Hunksalot back there.” Regulus glanced back at the rink like he was hoping to catch another look at James. You snorted, lightly slapping Regulus’ forearm in a reprimanding manner. Regulus pressed his nose to your cheek before kissing your cheek again.

After their first practice together, Regulus was ecstatic. He came home practically jumping off the walls. According to him, James was even better than he first appeared. Regulus was extremely excited to train with him. There was plenty Regulus could teach James and a few things Regulus wanted to learn from James. You silently hoped that James would rub off on Regulus to make him a little less rigid in his perfectionism.

James seemed to like you two as much as you two liked him. He started asking if you guys wanted to go eat lunch together after practices. Soon, your lunch dates with a party of 2 turned into a party of 3. You wanted to say that you three started officially dating but just as Regulus was weary of making mistakes he was also weary of confronting people. You didn’t want to make any kind of move without Regulus by your side, so you waited. Your relationship with James became unlabeled, you were dating but you couldn’t possibly imagine calling James your boyfriend, especially in front of other people. Not that you didn’t want to.

You didn’t want to add more stress to Regulus’ shoulders. With his fast-approaching competition, he was more jittery than ever. He was working himself harder, and you didn’t want him to work himself to the bone right before the competition so you started having to limit how long he was allowed to spend at the rink.

James was also anxious, you could tell because all his laughs stretched just a little too long. His jaw was constantly clenched and, much like Regulus’, his knee was constantly bouncing.

With their anxieties high, the competition arrived. In the blink of an eye, you were approaching a whole different rink. You said goodbye to Regulus with a good luck kiss before you settled for a small peck on the cheek for James. With them heading off to the locker room, you started for the stands. You scoured the rows of people for a good portion of time before you recognized the long, curly, and black hair of the one and only Sirius. He looked bored, pulling his fur coat tighter around himself. His hair was half up half down, the top pulled back into a bun pulled back by an elaborate pin. Sirius stared out at the rink watching nothing. He glanced up and smiled when he saw you. Sirius stood up and pulled you into a tight hug.

“It’s been so long. I missed your stupid face.” Sirius muttered next to your ear. You hummed, rubbing his back before pulling away. You patted his shoulder and gave him a small smile.

“I know. Let me see that hairpin.” Sirius obliged, turning his head. You stared at the beautiful piece of gold. It was in the shape of a tree branch with flowers sprouting along it. In the center of each flower were tiny shining gems. You gave the hairpin plenty of praise as Sirius turned back around. He smiled at you, rubbing his hands together.

“How are you and my jackass brother?” Sirius asked, flicking his hair over his shoulder to reveal dangling star earrings. You smiled at him.

“Good, one could even say splendid. Has he told you about James?” Sirius gave you a confused look before agreeing. You nodded.

“Yes, yes, the skater buff guy, right?” You patted his forearm, agreeing. He hummed.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re trying to add him to our relationship but Regulus is just so adamant on avoiding confrontation. We haven’t even taken the guy out on an actual date yet.” You missed gossiping with Sirius. He was such an active listener, and always knew all the juiciest drama around.

“You have to threaten him, it’s the only way to get Regulus to do anything. Once when we were little,” You took in a deep breath “We were playing tag in the gardens and Regulus wouldn’t stop trying to do arts and crafts with the neighbor's dog, so I stole his favorite stuffed animal and threatened to rip it’s entrails out and hang it on his bedroom door if he didn’t play with me. We played tag for hours after that.” Sirius said, laughing through his words like it was a funny story. You tried to smile through your grimace, but he could see the pain in your eyes.

“Right well, what’s new with you?” You asked, deciding you’d rather change the subject than unpack that. Sirius smiled, clapping his hands together.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve developed romantic feelings for one of my employees, more specifically one of my bartenders.” You gasped, excited to discuss this while waiting for your lovely boyfriend to get on the ice.

After Sirius went over every interaction he’s had with this bartender named Remus and you both debated the ethics of dating an employee, the competition finally began. You watched other people’s routines, whispering criticism and jokes to Sirius the whole time. Most along the lines of ‘Regulus can do that with his eyes closed’ and ‘they have nothing on Reg.’ Or ‘Well that was shit’. Just as another competitor finished, you leaned toward Sirius to insult the next person’s outfit only to gasp very loudly in his ear. You pulled away pointing at your lovely James. You looked back at Sirius to make sure he was looking. Sirius was pressing his hand to his ear and leaning away from you. You clapped and cheered, hoping James could hear you.

James’ outfit was all red, with yellow accents, and tracing the yellow lines were tiny sparkles. James was so pretty all the time, but right now with the sparkles and the red, he looked amazing. You just wanted to kiss him all over his pretty face. You watched James shake his hands out. He was anxious but you knew he had this in the bag. He let out a huff, staring down at the ice.

His song started, it was engraved in your head. You watched their practice so much you knew both their songs like the back of your hand. You saw James’ trips and frustration, and all the mistakes that made him want to drop out of the competition. Now that he was finally on the ice, finally just out there doing his routine, you couldn’t be more proud. You could see the influence Regulus had on him, he pulled some of Regulus’ favorite moves. He spun he jumped he skated, it was wild. The big finale came you could see the anxiety on James’ face, in the few glimpses you caught, he jumped into the air. James spun in the air, you held your breath. You’d seen him fall on this part a hundred times. He just couldn’t figure out how to land it. You reached back, gripping tightly onto SIrius’ arm. All within a millisecond, your fear blossomed into pure joy. James’ feet landed on the ice and he skated away from both your anxieties.

James landed his flying spin. You shot up from your seat, screaming your head off. Cheering until you were positive your throat would be sore in the morning. James’ routine finished, he saluted to the judges before skating away back towards the locker rooms. He smiled brightly, showing off his dimples and smile linsd up by his eyes. He glanced around at the stands. You waved your arms around as you continued to cheer, hoping he could see you through the glass. His eyes landed on you, and his smile brightened. James waved at you with both hands, his smile getting somehow brighter. You clapped as he left the ice. Once he was out of eyesight, you settled back into your seat.

Your cheeks felt sore from smiling as you looked back at Sirius. You tilted your head to the side at his raised eyebrow.

“You got it bad, baby. You need to jump his bones before you collapse your lungs from that screaming.” Sirius said, rubbing your arm reassuringly. You sighed before shrugging.

“I can’t support my friend?” You sent Sirius a wink before looking back at the rink to gaze upon the next atrocious outfit.

In your personal opinion, it took way too many people before it was time for Regulus’ routine. You waited and complained and waited and complained. Then finally after seeing the ugliest orange suit, there he was.

Regulus’ outfit was black from the waist to the legs and green from the neck to the waist. They met at a blended angular line. Along the black were swirly lines of black gems. The green had swirling lines of silver. Truly you weren't sure if you’ve ever wanted to rip off one of his suits more. You watched as Regulus death stared at the ice. You knew that was just his determined look but if it was directed at a person you’d be concerned for their health. He pulled his arms up behind his neck, staring down at the ground. He tapped his fingers on the back of his neck.

“Anxious stim, I don’t know why he’s worried. He’s going to be perfectly fine.” Sirius muttered. You nodded.

“He’s got all perfectionist brain. He’ll trip and he’s pissed for the rest of the day.” You said shaking your head. Sirius hummed, tapping his lips with his fingers.

“Regulus was like that as a kid, too. You know, once when we were kids-“ You pressed your finger to SIrius’ lips. Sirius made a disagreeing sound.

“He’s starting.” Regulus’ music started. He skated onto the ice, glancing over at the judges. Regulus set his jaw before moving into his routine. You squeezed Sirius’ hand tightly as you watched him fly through his routine like it was nothing. He was amazing it was like he was born with this talent. Even with all his practice it never looked hard for him. Regulus could glide like he was a gift straight from the stars. It was just that one jump. He worked so hard to figure out how to land his front flip. You watched him fall flat on his ass so many times. You kissed the bruises from his trips. You rubbed his back when the stress from this stupid flip manifested itself into muscle tension. Now finally you got to watch him on the big stage.

Regulus picked up speed before he pushed off the ice, head pointing towards the ground. You gripped Sirius’ hand tighter with both hands. Sirius held his breath, watching his brother fly in the air. Regulus’ legs pointed flat out. He tipped to the ground as you leaned forward in your seat. You and Sirius, both muttering praises. His foot landed and he skated away, effectively landing his flip. You squealed, shaking SIrius’ hand back and forth. You both looked at each other, almost knocking heads. Regulus wrapped up his routine with a classic Regulus move; a spin so fast you were sure he would vomit. He saluted to the judges before heading towards off the ice.

You and Sirius both stood up. You whistled loudly while Sirius cheered. You dropped Sirius’ hand to clap. Regulus looked up in your direction. He pressed the tips of his fingers to his lips before jutting both his hands out to you. You cheered again. Regulus waved at you both. He wasn’t exactly known for his bright smiles but you still saw the small, though slightly smothered, grin. Sirius screamed, making the people around you glance back.

“That’s my fucking boyfriend, dipshits! I suck his dick! I love you, sign my ass!” You screamed. Regulus shook his head, staring down at the ice. The people around you gave you disgusted looks, though some were amused. Sirius cheered again as Regulus fully left the rink. You sighed happily as you sat back down.

“That was great, I wanna go home now.” You said, smiling at Sirius. He hummed in agreement. After a few more contestants, a few more insults towards their routines, and a couple more laughs with Sirius, a judge clutching a microphone skated to the center of the rink. Four more people dressed in all black skated towards him, a giant podium held up between them. Each one gripping onto a corner. They settled it behind the judge, The judge glanced back at the podium, smiling at the crowd behind the glass.

“Well they were all stunning, but I’m here to announce the winners. Now every one of these people worked extremely hard for where they are today. With that in mind, here we go.” The judge reached into their pocket. They pulled out a piece of paper unfolding it. You leaned back towards Sirius.

“He’s fine right? We’re going to win? He’s totally got this.” You whispered. Sirius nodded, reaching for your hand and gripping it between the two of his.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s fine. Totally fine.” Sirius said, sitting forward. With his grip on your hand, you could tell he was nervous too. Even though you both have seen Regulus win a million billion times. Even though you’ve seen him land jumps, perfect his routine, and stand up there on every podium he looks at, you are still worried for him. Judges can be harsh, harsher than Regulus is on himself. You just wanted him to be proud of himself. You wanted to see him up there on the first-place podium, holding his flowers and smiling with the power of a million suns.

“Alright, well, here it is. Taking home the bronze, in third place, is Yemima Cotterill.” The judge said, throwing one arm out towards the entrance. A gorgeous woman in a green and blue suit skated onto the rink, waving at the crowd. A ginormous smile, showing all her teeth. The four people in black suits helped her up onto the podium, standing on the shortest part. They then handed the judge the bronze medal. Yemima leaned down towards the judge. The judge pulled the medal over her head letting it settle on her chest. She smiled down at her medal. The judge then handed her a bouquet of sunflowers and blue baby’s breath. The the judge turned back around as Yemima looked down at her bouquet and medal.

“Alright, In second place, bringing home the silver, is James Potter.” The judge swung his arm back again. You shot up from your seat, cheering once again. You knew tomorrow you’d have to drink some hot tea before talking to Regulus. James skated towards the center, grinning from ear to ear. He waved towards the crowd as they screamed. James' eyes lingered in your direction, pulling up both hands to wave at you. He was helped up onto the other side of the podium. He leaned over as the judge pulled the silver medal over his head. James waved at Yemima. He started motioning with his hands, from what you could tell he was telling her how amazing she was. She laughed and made a motion to thank him. The judge then handed Jams a bouquet of lavender stock, lilacs, and a handful of roses. James cradled the bouquet to his chest as he stared down at his medal. He smiled brightly, he reached up and swiftly wiped at his eyes, grinning down at the bouquet. The judge turned back towards the crowd.

“Finally, in the first place, you’ve probably seen him in the newspaper. You’ve probably seen his plaques or medals in another rink, but right now you’re going to see him standing up there on the first-place podium.” You stayed standing up, holding Sirius’ arm to your chest. The judge gestured out to the entrance again.

“Regulus Black.” You screamed as your lovely boyfriend skated in towards the center. You quickly pulled Sirius in for a hug as you both cheered loudly. Regulus waved around, kissing to fingers and pointing them in your direction. The people in black suits helped him up to the top podium. He leaned down as the judge pulled his gold medal over his head. Regulus thanked him, pressing his hands together. Finally, the judge handed Regulus a bouquet of green hydrangea and roses. Regulus held it to his chest before leaning over to Yemima. He said something before sticking up a thumbs up. Yemima smiled, pressing a hand to her chest. James reached out and patted Regulus’ arm.

Regulus turned to face him. James said something that made Regulus smile. Regulus reached out and grabbed onto James’ medal. Regulus leaned down to admire James’ medal. You grinned, looking back at Sirius. You turned back to look at Regulus. He pulled on James’ medal before jerking forward. Your jaw dropped as you watched Regulus kiss James on the podiums. You pressed your hands to your cheeks, gasping loudly. James, leaned closer, standing up on his tippy toes to make up for the distance caused by the podium. You laughed as the photographer clicked away. Regulus pulled back and held his medal up in triumph. You cheered and shook Sirius’ arm. James held his flowers up, covering up his flustered grin. It was not often Regulus smiled. He grinned or grimaced. His lips would twinge sometimes. He’d have a soft smile that was more of just a flat line. But a flat-out, teeth and all-smile? It was uncommon.

Now with a flustered James next to him, a winner's bouquet in his arms, a medal around his neck, and a winner's check surely on his way, he was grinning with a good portion of his teeth. It’s the little things. He waverd around before leaning back towards James. Regulus whispered something towards him. James nodded, pulling the flowers away from his face. They both turned in the direction of your seats. Regulus and James pressed their fingers to their lips before sending their air kisses towards you. You pretended to catch the kisses.

After pictures were taken and most of the spectators left, Regulus met you and Sirius outside the rink. He had his duffle bag swung over his body and his bouquet still in his arms. You held your arms out once you saw him. Regulus picked up his pace just barely, making a weird run-walk to get to you. He wrapped his arms around you, the bouquet smacking your back. His weight crashing into you made you both rock back and forth. You muttered praises about how well he did in his ear. As he pulled back, Regulus pressed a kiss to your cheek. Sirius pulled him into a hug the second you weren’t holding onto Regulus. Sirius ruffled Regulus’ hair. Regulus groaned and pulled away, smacking Sirius on the arm.

“Lemme see the gold, you asswipe,” Sirius said. Regulus groaned throwing his head back. Regulus shoved his hand into his bag, retrieving the gold medal. He handed it to Sirius. Sirius cradled it in between his palms, smiling down at it.

“It’ll go perfectly over your favorite bookshelf,” Sirius said, sarcastically. Regulus snatched the medal away before sticking it out to you. It was heavier than you thought it would be but it still caught the setting sun. You handed it back to Regulus before looking over his shoulder.

“Where’s James?” You asked. Regulus’ face fell. He reached out towards you, grabbing onto your wrists.

“I’m so sorry for kissing him before talking to you. I got caught up in the adrenaline. I should’ve talked to you. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Regulus said, staring at you with worried eyes. You’d compare him to a sad puppy but he was truly more cat-like. You smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Could not care less. It was hot-“

”Gross.” Sirius muttered.

“-and I’ve been waiting on you to be ready so we can make a move but this was the most dramatic way to confess. I suppose that’s what I get for dating a relative of Sirius.” You heard Sirius groan next to you.

“You guys are total bitches.” Sirius muttered. Regulus hummed, keeping his eyes on you.

“But yeah, James is calling his parents to let them know he got silver.” You nodded, glancing back at the door to see James jogging towards you guys. James was holding onto his bouquet with his medal around his neck. His duffle bag was swung around, bouncing against his back. He finally reached you guys, glancing at Sirius.

“Speak of the devil,” Regulus muttered. You quickly attacked James with a hug. He grunted, hugging you back. You pulled back.

“You did so amazing you have no idea, you were gorgeous out there.” You said, walking back to your spot. You reached out for Regulus’ hand, intertwining your fingers. James glanced down at your hands, an uncomfortable look gracing his face.

“I know I can’t believe I beat Yemima. She was spectacular. Do you see that jump she did? She was like flying.” James said. Sirius nodded.

“I agree, she was amazing.” James glanced at Sirius uncomfortably. Regulus sputtered, lurching forward to point at Sirius.

“Where are my manners? James this is Sirius, my brother. Sirius this is James, possibly the first person I think would actually have a shot at beating me.” Regulus gestured between the two of them. James awed, staring at Regulus.

“You think I could beat you?” James asked, sounding incredibly touched. Regulus shrugged.

“With some training and maybe if I broke something but yes,” Regulus said, making James snort.

“Nice to meet you, Sirius.” James stuck his hand out to Sirius. Sirius shook it. James gasped and turned to you.

“I had no idea Regulus was going to kiss me. I’m sure it meant nothing. I’m not a homewrecker I promise.” You snorted at James, resting your head on Regulus’ shoulder. James stared between the two of you with an awkward look.

“No need to sweat it James, we’ve been thinking of asking you to join our relationship for months. Reggie just has chilly feet.” You said, grinning at James. Regulus groaned, pulling his head away from you in disagreement. You pulled Regulus back to you, kissing his cheek.

“I love you and your chilly feet, even though you leave underwear on the bathroom floor.” Your words were smothered by the squishy skin of Regulus’ cheek.

“He still does that? I thought Mother beat it out of him at 7.” Sirius muttered, smacking your shoulder with the back of his hand in shock. Regulus shook his head.

“No she tried, but I just started bringing Creature more caramel candies,” Regulus said. James raised an eyebrow.

“Who’s Creature? Also, your mother hit you?” James asked looking between Sirius and Regulus.

“Creature was one of our butlers, he really liked caremal. Once when I was a teen, I hooked up with this guy in a guest room, we had like thirty so nobody would notice anyway, Creature totally caught him trying to sneak out so I bought him three full bags of camamel candies and it was never mentioned again.” Sirius said. Regulus gasped.

“Oh yeah, I remember that guy. He asked me if he could collect my fingernails when I was asleep.” Regulus pointed at Sirius as he shared another childhood story that made you concerned. Sirius grimaced.

“Yeah, he was weird,” Sirius muttered, shaking his head at the ground before shivering. You looked over at James to find him sunken in on himself, clutching his flowers closer.

“Oh, you guys are traumatizing James.” You said, pulling away from Regulus to hold onto James’ arm. You started leading James away towards the car. You three carpooled. Sirius drove on his own, he only trusted his own driving.

“Yeah, I wonder what it did to us,” Regulus muttered. After you all said your goodbyes, You, James, and Regulus headed out for a late dinner. Over your food, you discussed the future of your relationship and when it was finally time to decline dessert, you had all decided that you and Regulus were officially dating James. And vice versa. You drove James back home. Regulus lugged James’ heavy duffle inside while you kissed James goodnight. James held the door open for you as you stepped down to his front doorstep. You held your hand out for Regulus as he moved past James. Regulus leaned up, smacking a kiss on James’ cheek before grabbing onto your hand and walking toward the car with you. The second you two got home, you both collapsed face-first into the matress and silently decided to never ever leave the house again.

In the morning, after you bribed Regulus to get out of bed with coffee, you went out to get the mail. You picked up the newspaper off the driveway and headed back inside. While Regulus was making his coffee and starting breakfast, you pulled the rubber band off the newspaper. You pulled open the paper, scanning the headline. ’Ice Skating prodigy, Regulus Black caught cheating on the podium’ in big bold letters sprawled over the paper. You looked down at the image underneath. It was of Regulus and James kissing on the podium. You glanced over at Yemima noticing now that her mouth was covered by both her hands in shock. You looked back at the picture of your two boyfriends, wondering where you should frame this.

“Your ass photographs well, you could bounce a quarter off that thing.” You muttered. Regulus looked up from the pan he was making breakfast with.

“Hm?” You turned the paper around to show the headline. Regulus frowned, moving closer to investigate. He grumbled.

“They make it sound like I cheated in the competition in the headline. Not to mention I didn’t even cheat romantically. They’re just too ignorant to understand non-monogamy.” Regulus tossed the paper onto the table in frustration, turning back to the pan. You hummed, picking the paper back up again.

“Well I think it’s a very adorable picture, I kinda wanna frame it.” You turned the page, searching for a very specific section. Regulus grumpily hummed, sounding particularly peaved about the whole thing.

“Oh yes, we should take to the rink when we go with my medal. They can frame it next to my suit and first medal.” Regulus mocked sarcastically. You nodded, turning more pages.

“Yeah, see. You’re getting it now.” You mumbled before finally reaching the section you wanted; the funnies. A week later, You, James, and Regulus were all standing in front of the glass case at Regulus’ rink. His new medal was hung next to all the other ones while the new newspaper clipping was hung up next to his framed suit. It took a good amount of convincing and Regulus pulling the ‘Do you know who I am?’ Card which he was not happy about. Nonetheless, the beautiful headline and picture of your two boyfriends was there. James’ medal was hung up in his home but you doubted it couldn’t be too terribly long before he had his own glass case.

[sapphicmsmarvel]

feysand: disability comfort

note: i have sciatica nerve pain and will for the rest of my life and i had a bad flare up recently (im at the lower end of that flare up as i write this)  so this is a super duper self indulgent fic. These are my specific symptoms and experiences, pls seek a medical professional’s opinion if you find yourself feeling the same things. 

Self diagnosing is dangerous ! 

We love doctors ! 

When you woke up, you knew it was going to be a bad day and that a potential flare up was on its way to you. 

You had shifted your leg ever so slightly, and felt it. 

The twang. 

And you sighed. The twang of the muscle was a sign that you were in for it for the rest of the day and possibly the next few days. It didn’t necessarily hurt. The twang was a minor discomfort. 

It was the most comfortable part of a flare up. 

So you got out of bed ever so carefully to not aggravate it further. You knew you’d be able to go to work and complete your tasks for the night court today, but the next few days? Might as well bring work home with you so you can do it from a bed. You were the last of the family to leave for the day, Feyre was at the studio, Rhys was running a city and Nyx was away with Auntie Nesta, Uncle Cassian and Uncle Azriel. 

When you went to grab your jacket, a note fell out of the coat pocket. 

Have a good day my love. MWAH Feyre didn’t need to sign it, her kiss mark with her pink lipstick was her trademark. 

When you went to grab your lunch, you saw Rhysand wrote you a note.

This is almost as delicious as me and Fey! See you soon, angel! 

Ps don’t forget about us while you're off running an entire newspaper! 

You couldn’t help but snort, he seems to forget he’s the main breadwinner. 

You were a journalist for Velaris. Extremely well known across the entirety of Prythian. You were the reason most of your staff were able to stay calm because you kept things in order. 

You didn’t start limping until you had gotten to your office, your secretary asked why you were limping and you lied that you twisted your ankle.

If anyone else had told you they were also disabled, you would offer them whatever they needed, and tell them how it wasn’t embarrassing and there were zero things to feel bad about.

But since it was you, you were quite hard on yourself. 

After putting out a small metaphorical fire, you were able to hide a bit in your office where you can limp and cry in peace. It was getting worse, the pain was more intense, it was white-hot pain at this point all across your lower back and butt. You had managed to not cry yet, teared up yes, but you were able to swallow them down. 

You had gotten to lunch, and that’s when you couldn’t stand up straight. 

Fuck. 

Feyre and Rhysand were absolutely on their way to the cafe you three had agreed to meet at today. But there was no way you would make it to that restaurant, back and then the walk home. 

You opened up the bond to say, I won’t be able to make it to lunch. Things are crazy over here, I will see you both at home. Love you!

Feyre’s worried voice came through. Is everything okay? 

Just a gossip column issue with the Spring Court branch! I’ll see you both at home. 

It was a small lie, technically there was an issue with the gossip column for the Spring Court branch. You just took care of that that morning, not the afternoon. 

Rhysand didn’t respond but you chose not to worry. 

You closed the bond and resumed your work, you were agonizing over some final edits when there was a knock at the door. You looked at the clock, you knew you had zero meetings for once today. 

“Come in.” You said. 

Then the door opened to your lovely spouses with food. 

“What the hell?” You asked. 

“We wanted to make sure you ate. But your secretary said that everything was calm.” Feyre tilted her head, those grey eyes narrowing and are somehow able to detect your lies. 

You stood up, “baby-” then your back just twinged and it caused you to gasp and nearly fall over. Your hands slapped against the oak of your desk, causing your pencil cup to rattle. 

“Y/N!” Rhysand was fast as light as he came to stabilize you. Feyre was right there at your front, the look of irritation quickly replaced by concern. 

You were trying to breathe deeply and Rhys’ hands were on your hips. 

“Sciatica pain?” Feyre’s brows furrowed as she asked. 

“Yeah.” You breathed out, Rhys’ large hands massaging your hips gently but not putting so much pressure on the area where it’s really throbbing because pressure doesn’t help all the time. 

“C’mon, sit.” Rhysand guided you down to your chair, and you let out a breath of relief at the loss of tension when you sat. However, there was still an echo of pain. 

“When did this start.” Rhys didn’t ask the question. He demanded it. 

“This morning.” “And you didn’t tell us because…?” 

You sighed, “I just. I hate this part of me. I didn’t want to bring attention to it.” 

“My love, it's a part of you, whether you like it or not.” Feyre said the harsh truth. 

You snorted. “Thanks.”

“Shut up.” She said and nudged your knee with her own paint splattered shoes. “It’s a part of you, and we love all parts of you. Granted, we don’t want to see you in pain, but if you are, we want to help you. We aren’t burdened by this.” 

Rhysand began scratching the top of your head lightly, but it was soothing. “So tell us the truth, Angel.” 

You sighed, and looked back and forth between them. “I hurt. A lot.” 

“You wanna go home?” Feyre asked. 

“More than anything. Am I allowed to do work? Or is that a no go?” You looked at them, “May I have my nurse's opinion?” 

Feyre smiled, “work stays here.” 

You looked at Rhys, who smiled and kissed your forehead, “work stays here.” He agreed. 

You sighed, as they began getting your stuff around to take home. You let Rhys winnow you home while Feyre ordered people around the office to not bother you. Your staff adored her and you, so it was an easy ask. She told them to just leave things on your desk and again, the world will not end if the paper is slightly delayed. But the way you ran the office, you were always a week ahead, with editing boxes available for actual timely events. 

So nothing was too crazy. 

By the time Feyre got home, you were in the bath. And Rhys was making your favorite foods. He already had your painkillers set out on a tray on the made bed. 

He’s such a housewife. 

You hated how much you had to depend on them for the next few days. You could barely move. It hurt to lay, it hurt to sit, to stand, anything. Even using the toilet, it took you a while to just get the momentum to stand up. (Rhys had bars installed to help you up because he knew you wouldn’t ask them).

Sometimes your leg would go completely numb or tingly. So they’d work with you to ‘wake’ your leg up. You knew they were scared when they saw you like that. You’d be scared if you saw them like that. 

When you went stir crazy from being in the house for a few days, they would bring you random drawers to organize. Or untangling Feyre’s jewelry from each other, organizing Rhys’s photo boxes. 

You and Feyre did stretches together as well, Rhys would press a hot cloth to your back and switch with a cold cloth when you requested. 

And when you’d cry from the pain, they would brush your hair back, they’d rub your sore spots if you wanted. They’d bring you water or snacks. 

They would comfort you through anything, and you couldn’t be happier. 

(Even though you felt completely miserable at the moment).

[gargyshmub]

DELTARUNE; Gargy's Fairytale Theory

So, lately I've kind of had an itch in the back of my mind about DELTARUNE, more specifically the secret or hidden bosses in the game and a little correlation they all share. I'll try to keep this under 100 pages but i promise nothing (tee hee hee)

If you've played the game to the extent you're looking at a tumblr blog dedicated to it, you're probably familiar with the character's jevil and spamton. These are the two characters coined by the community as "secret bosses", since you have to stray away from the games intended path to find them (in most cases.)

When you defeat spamton in his 'NEO form', a neat little song will play with his dialogue "a real boy!", this is a nod to the fable/fairytale "pinochio" I'm sure everyone's familiar with. It's a story about a doll that comes to life in search of becoming 'a real boy'. This corrilation made me realize there are A LOT of similarity's between pinochio and spamton. The strings, his regular form being a mockup of a doll, even his goal to become "big", its almost like becoming a 'real boy'. He knows he's not 'real', and just like at the end of pinochio, he too becomes renewed (reneo'd).

This made me wonder if the other secret boss, Jevil, represented something other than the Joker card. Then I realized whenever he was hit in his fat empty head it actually sprung out like a jack-in-the-box. I initially discarded this since it wasn't really a fable or fairy-tale, but if you do some digging you'll find it actually is!!!@! back in the 1400's somewhat, the jack in the box was originally named 'The Devil in the Box', essentially it's a story about a man who trapped a devil in a boot in order to save a village in france at the time, kinda like that one story about the court jester who got locked away by his magician friend in order to save their kingdom (haha. hahahahha. thats from deltarune. hahaha.) just to run home my point, jack-in-the-box; Devil in the box. Jack; Devil. What way could you fuse them together? Dack? Jackil? maybe some other 3rd way that has some importance to Yea thats right you know you've always known its Jevil.

Obviously, in deltarune fashion, its easy to overthink most elements in the story. Granted, toby will make an entire 2nd game about a hypothetical character you've never met but no you've only ever POSSIBLY met through a 1/100 chance door where he'll show you his asshole and then disappear into a million pieces, but yea, it's easy to make certain correlations that aren't even really there. In this case however I'd say that there's one more correlation that seals the deal that makes this theory WORTH theorizing.

Yea gaster. even though he's not even technically a character yet, every piece of information regarding him seems to lead people to believe he's not only the narrator at the beginning of the game, but he's also the 'man' behind the tree (since the way you find 'his sprite' in undertale is almost exactly similar ['theres a room in-between, theres a room, in-between']). I'm assuming you know what there is to know about gaster so im not gonna go into it, so onto the correlation.

I've read before someone talking about how gaster represents easter eggs in video games, not only physically (egghead) but metaphorically (the way you find him, his implied involvment with the secret bosses, the fact he gives you an '''''EGG''''' when you DO find him). Well if he is technically involved with the secret bosses, wouldn't that make him a fable too? I'm here to tell you he is. he is HUMPTY DUMPTY from SECOND GRADE FAIRY TALE PLAY.

I've already gone over his physical and metaphorical symbolism relating to eggs, but the story of humpty dumpty is also very, haha, hahahaha, hahahhahahaha

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall (The Core)

Humpty dumpty took a big fall ("Fell into his own creation")

All the kings horses and all the kings men (Who did gaster work for again?)

Couldn't put Humpty together again ("He was shattered across time and space")

What could this mean? for the future it means that if this theory is right, EVERY secret boss we meet is gonna represent not only a lightworld object, but an actual FAIRTY TALE, a FABLE. I mean, how many fables are out there. I know theres one in particular, one that the game is named after, one that has to do with an ANGEL. an ''''ANGEL'''' with ''''TATTERED WINGS''''''.

but then again idk

EDIT: ALSO LITTLE MISS MUFFET THINK ABOUT THAT UNDER-HEADS LITTLE MISS MUFFET SAT ON HER TUFFET

Last edit: also this has no grounds as an actual theory but uhhh that mf that made the Undertale RED boss fight got hired on the team. Huh. I wonder what Red was a reference to. Huh.

[that-ari-blogger]

Galinda's True Colours

One key theme in Wicked is superficiality. The world of Oz is a place where honest conversation is difficult to come by. Almost everyone is pretending to be something, or believe something, or have something, all to get what they want.

Popular approaches this theme with the subtlety of a hyperactive wrecking ball and gives a musical monologue about how this world works, and why.

Because Galinda has been portrayed as ditsy up to this point, with a bit of the self-serving schemer archetype thrown in for flavour. But here, we see just how intelligent she is. Galinda has caught on to how the world works, and understands what buttons to push.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (Wicked)

The first element to be brought under examination is Wicked's love for subverting expectations. By this, I mean that certain mindsets in the world have stereotypes associated with them, take idealism and cynicism for example.

From what I have observed, when a writer wants to use one of these archetypes, they will probably draw on a few common ideas. The former is usually portrayed as stary-eyed and naive, or unflinchingly positive. Cynicism meanwhile has a certain sarcasm to it. A cynic might feature a permanent scowl and a dry remark as a kneejerk reaction to anything.

In short, Cynics are usually written to be villains who are overcome by hopeful heroes, or to be heroes who are proven right by a world where hope is meaningless. Idealists on the other hand are either heroes who make the world a better place by sheer force of goodness, or naive fools who the world breaks down.

Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule, but those exceptions are mostly more developed characters in their own right, so the label of "a cynic" doesn't really fit them. Batman is an idealist (when he's written properly).

What is fascinating about Wicked is how the characters are presented. Elphaba is introduced as cynical, she fits the archetype to a tea. But after a musical number, her character swaps entirely. She keeps the sarcasm, but the hopefulness becomes a driving force that goes against the stereotype.

Galinda is... introduced as a bit of a ditz. She's got an ego, she gets what she wants all of the time, she has a well-known family. She's the generic rich kid, essentially. Fiyero gets the same treatment.

For the record, By Galinda, I mean young Glinda, and I am treating them as separate entities until they meet back up.

Anyway, when Galinda starts singing, her real worldview becomes clear. It's possible to argue that it wasn't particularly hidden to begin with, but in Popular, she bludgeons you over the head with it.

"Celebrated heads of state Or 'specially great communicators Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular! Please, it's all about popular! It's not about aptitude It's the way you're viewed"

As much as I despise it, Galinda is kinda right here.

In 1964, Henry Littlefield published an essay in the American Quarterly titled The Wizard of Oz: Parable on Populism in which he gave some opinions on a theoretical metaphor inherent in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz book (if you don't want to read it, TedEd has a video discussing it and its legacy). He claimed that it was an inherently political book about the time Baum wrote it.

The sparkly new world looks even better if you put on tinted glasses, and only works if you understand that the wizard's power is empty, so Littlefield proposed.

Scholars since have praised, debated, and debunked Littlefield's essay. Pointing out the fact that this is pattern recognition with hindsight, in the same way that you can look to the stars and see a goat.

Essentially, there is an argument for The Wonderful Wizard of Oz being political, and there is an argument (most famously made by its Baum himself) that it is just a children's book.

Wicked is a satire, and not a children's book, so it gets away with some heavy insinuation, but to avoid landmines and a lack of knowledge on my own part, I am going to talk exclusively about how this affects the land of Oz itself, rather than its implications for the real world. Please don't argue in the replies.

So, Galinda's hypothesis here is that the leaders of Oz do not get to where they are because of any actual skill, but rather because they were well liked by either the people, or their superiors. She gets proven right about this throughout the musical. Madam Morrible moves up in the world by presenting Elphaba to the wizard, the Wizard gained power by giving Oz a common enemy, and Galinda and Fiyero themselves gain status seemingly out of nowhere.

In Oz, it doesn't matter what you know, but who you know, and who knows you.

In the show that I watched, Galinda was played by Courtney Monsma, who knocked this number out of the park. Galinda is an incredibly cynical character, but Monsma played her with what I can only describe as "manic pixie energy", which circles back to Wicked's idea of superficiality.

Because the ditzy pantomime of Galinda present in What is this Feeling and half of Dancing Through Life is nothing compared to the madness that is Popular. This is a character who knows exactly how to toss her hair to get what she wants, who knows how to make people think she is something she isn't.

Monsma played a character who was well aware that perception would get her further in life than intelligence, and was having fun with that confidence. But she is actually clever, Galinda has picked up on this fact that everyone else has just accepted subconciously, but now she can explain it.

This song feels like a hyper fixation rant. The frantic obsession was a mere outlet for the excitement of finally being able to speak to this worldview head on to someone who she respects and knows will actually understand her. This song feels like Galinda and Elphaba are on emotional and intellectual equal footing.

This song is also part of my case for Wicked as a queer musical that only works as a story because the romance doesn't. As in, this is a story about a romance that could have been, and that romance reads as queer to me. I will get more into it next week, but for now, I will say this:

This song doesn't matter, and that's exactly why it does matter.

This is the moment when Elphaba and Galinda connect, and share. This is Galinda trying to give back for the wand and make up for her previous behaviour to make Elphaba less of an outcast. But she has already done that.

The moment at the end of Dancing Through Life when Elphaba and Galinda share the spotlight, when Galinda makes herself look like a fool to match Elphaba, when she lets the outcast lead, and the rest of the room goes along with it. That moment is when the romance is kicked off, that is the moment when she starts making amends. That is the moment when she starts to make Elphaba less of a social pariah.

That dance renders Popular superfluous, or at least it does on paper. In reality, this song is doing a lot of heavy lifting in the foreshadowing department, even more so than What is this Feeling, in my most humble of opinions.

Popular happens because Galinda is right about so much in her world, but wrong about the most important thing. Brains and knowledge are irrelevant in Oz, perception is powerful, but empathy rules them all.

Galinda gives this big show of how amazing she is for helping people. Look at her, she's so good. But, Elphaba doesn't care about that, and Galinda does. The romance doesn't work in the end because Galinda realises too late that in the big scheme of things, superficiality is nowhere near as fulfilling as connection. That's why her romance with Fiyero breaks off, and its why her romance with Elphaba is doomed. She only realises this when both options are off the table.

The romance between Elphaba and Galinda breaks apart, but it can only do that because it was there to begin with. You can't tear down nothing.

You could read the relationship as entirely platonic, a friendship that breaks down. But art is subjective, and to me, the romance makes this story so much more compelling.

Final Thoughts

Popular is a popular song in the fanbase. It's an absolute bop, but it's also one of the simplest numbers in the entire production. The set is two beds, there is no fancy dancing, just one character sitting still and the other jumping around like she's on springs. The set doesn't change, there are no extra characters, nothing.

This song doesn't let anything distract from the character drama that is going on in centre stage, so that the audience can take in what is actually being said and done.

Next week, I am taking a look at I'm Not That Girl, and I will being going all in on the queer reading of this musical. Although, that is a heterosexual love song, right? How could that be queer? I have thoughts, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

(Images were sourced from this video)

[ayaitch]

One of the things in the Horizon games that is a little tiresome to me is about all these Carja "good ones". Every time we meet a Carja (except for Nil, who is a whole other topic...), the narrative goes to lengths to assure us, the audience, that we should care about this Carja because they were "one of the good ones" during the Red Raids. This Carja wanted to stop things. This Carja opposed the Red Raids and senseless slaughter. This Carja always questioned things and strove to stop it all.

So that's great and all, and I appreciate having "good ones" right off the bat during awful, horrible times in a culture's history, but it's not very challenging. Show me why I should care about one of the "bad ones". Or someone who thought they were doing well by their culture, people, family, only to finally glimpse the big picture and realize how wrong they were and then try to change. Someone who snaps out of it, elbow-deep in blood (metaphrically?), and realizes something is off, thinks, 'Wtf am I doing, this isn't helping anyone.'

Even Avad, who usurped his bloodthirsty, tyrant father (and killed him, I don't want that to be taken away from Avad!) should have, at least up until a certain point, believed what his father was doing was right. It's how he was raised. It was the only lens by which he saw the world, especially considering the literal pillar upon which the Carja royal family resided. He had to be drinking from the same cup as his father (again, metaphorically) and so why wouldn't he believe up to a time, that they were doing what was right by their religion/culture. At some point, he had a Come-to-the-Sun moment (so to speak) and realized his father was a terrible, murdering person and worked against that, but what was that moment? He was already plotting against his father by the time he meets Ursa and helps her escape (if I recall correctly...).

Talanah's father and brother, prestigious and noble members of the Hunter's Lodge in Meridian, should have, at least at the beginning, been totally behind their Sun-King, who made it a point to justify more and more terrible things by claiming it for the best, that their people needed protection from this machine threat and degrading biosphere. I like the way the narrative handled them, but we were still presented with the idea that they were "good from the start."

Fashav too. "One of the good ones", who marched with the Red Raiders hoping to "mitigate" their atrocities. Which he failed at so why is he still considered a good one? Because intentions? There's a reason the adage is "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." (Don't get me wrong, I love Fashav, and wanted him to retire in comfort and accomplished lasting peace with laurels on his arms. He's such a compelling character as far as I'm concerned.)

Every Carja we meet that the narrative wants us to care about had figured out that the Mad Sun-King was awful and terrible before their hands got truly dirty, and were just trying to do their best from the inside to make change without creating waves and getting themselves executed (except Talanah's family, good on them).

So. I guess what I'm looking for in Horizon is an actual bad guy of the Carja who comes around before the end of the Red Raids. Someone too deep to see that they were wrong at first, but as soon as they did, made the needed change, and then did their very best to actively sabotage and undermine authority in every possible way. It's not that I don't like the Carja we meet in the game, it's just boring that they're always "one of the good ones" so we should care about what happens to them, instead of just having Aloy murder them on sight. Someone who did some things in the name of an unworthy institution and is now trying to come back from it and do the right thing.

Thinking about all this makes me wish we could have taken down those Shadow Carja in the Daunt at the beginning of HFW, because they're still nasty and awful (but still somehow good and peaceful types?????), but Aloy and Petra are all, 'aw, poor refugees...'. Like.... Pardon me? Weren't they were 100% supportive of the murdering, crazy Sun-King who tore apart both of their tribes and are anti-Avad who wants peace with everyone. What the hell is with that?

[sapphiresterreart]

Inspired by this post: where Shadow finds Super Sonic and ONLY Super Sonic attractive. Sonic's normal self is not wanted.

It made me cackle because I couldn't help but picture Shadow deciding to explore this gay awakening in the most convoluted way possible. Cue me getting carried away with the idea and scribbling a rough scene.

Stuffed under the Read More.

At one point after seeing Sonic's glow-up into Super a few times, Shadow's brain latches onto an idea and goes insane until he scratches the metaphorical itch.

He zooms around the entire planet to collect the 7 Chaos Emeralds AND the maximum amount of rings a single person can hold.

Randomly shows up at Tails’ workshop/house one day, looking particularly deranged to the poor fox because the guy's spent the past month running himself ragged and is now gunning for his older brother for some unfathomable reason. Eggman couldn’t possibly have recovered from the last beat down in such short time! Something’s clearly wrong.

Shadow’s carefully manicured quills are in utter disarray. Gunk and grease coat his muzzle. Gloves notably tattered and inhibitor rings tarnished. There’s a suspicious smearing of red all over his typically immaculate chest fluff. Worst of it all are his eyes: near feral in their intensity as they pin the fox in his computer chair from afar.

The surly hedgehog snarls. “Where’s Sonic?”

All the while, Shadow has to keep ahold of the seven emeralds that prolly act like magnets and want to repel away from each other. His sanity’s hanging on a thread. 

Luckily Sonic shows up soon (instead of late? First time for everything! What a relief) after a brief, albeit frantic call from his lil bro.

Sonic does not expect Shadow to look like such a wreck. He does not expect his usually composed rival to yank an absurd amount of rings from the pocket dimension everyone had in their feathers, fur, or otherwise back part of their body. He does not expect those same rings to be shoved into his hands and quills, forcibly stuffing them into his own ‘inventory’ of a pocket dimension. 

He does not expect the rings to keep coming until he can’t hold anymore.

He does not expect the Seven Chaos Emeralds to immediately follow after.

“Shad–” Sonic tries, absolutely baffled.

“Transform.” Shadow gives him nothing except a haggard sort of desperation. “Now.”

And. Well. When asked like that? Damn. He won’t say no but that’s some voice his rival has on him. Hmm. Still. He doesn’t go super just yet because there’s only so long a transformation can last and he’d like some of the facts first. Especially if the situation’s as dire as Shadow’s making it out to be.

“What’s up?” He tosses out a tense smirk and a quip to lighten the mood. “Got yourself in trouble with the law again, Shads? Need me to use your own money to bail–“

“Transform.” Shadow staggers and oh no he’s gonna pass out isn’t he? He straightens before he can truly fall. 

Sonic lets the smirk fall. This is too unusual. “Not until you tell me what’s going on! What the heck Shadow?”

The glare intensifies. He looks weirdly… hungry? Oh. He hopes that's not some alien DNA comin’ out to play. Sonic’s not in the mood to be eaten. At least… not in the way his shoot-first-questions-later friend would likely consider.

“…Transform first and then I’ll tell you.” 

What an oh-so generous counter-offer. Sonic’s tempted to refuse on principle but the guy looks ready to collapse and there’s only so long Sonic himself can hold all seven emeralds at once before they launch outta his grip. 

He sighs. “Yeah, alright.”

Sonic closes his eyes. Concentrates. Feels the power humming in the gems, lets them push away from him with him as their center of gravity to orbit. Momentum builds as they whirl around him. His focus deepens. A zen sort of calm settles over him like a familiar cloak as he pulls the gems back into his core sense of being. A spark ignites and he’s set aflame.

His feet leave the floor as the power repels him against the planet. Feels the gems thrumming alongside his veins as he opens his eyes. The world glitters a beautiful gold but he doesn’t have time to smell the roses. Rings are burning like a candlestick’s wick, after all.

“Start talking.”

Shadow does not start talking. Instead he stares. Only stares. It’s… kind of concerning, actually. 

“Shadow?” Super Sonic frowns, spending more energy concentrating on maintaining the sheer power humming in his soul than on coming up with a funny joke. “Are you alright?”

Shadow doesn’t make a sound. Is he even breathing? Super Sonic’s brow furrows and gently glides from near the ceiling to hover in front of his rival. Red eyes track the movement like a predator intent on its prey but Super’s not worried about that. Not right now, at least.

Keeping his expression soft, yet unwittingly focused, Super examines his rival’s disheveled state. For the Ultimate Lifeform, he looks ultimately wrecked. He smirks, just a lil, and Shadow hones in on it like a laser beam. Super blinks, smirk twisting into a puzzled smile as he tilts his head, before slowly grasping Shadow by the shoulder. 

“C’mon focus, Shadow. You with me?” Wide, red eyes blink dumbly and Super huffs a laugh. “How can I help?”

Shadow. Doesn’t respond. Merely gapes at him like he’s drinking in the sight. It’d be flattering at any other time but right now it’s just frustrating.

“I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s goin’ on. On a time limit here–“

“You have full inventory.” 

Finally! He speaks! But lacks sense. “What?”

“Rings.” Shadows answers though that doesn’t answer much. Choosing instead to fall silent once more and continue staring.

Super doesn’t know what to do with any of this so he turns to someone who might. “Tails? Any clues?”

“N-no…” His lil bro trots over to them, visibly disturbed. Good. Glad he’s not the only one confused here.

“I’m burnin’ rings.” Super settles for instead. “Thought you said it was urgent?”

“I thought it was.” Tails gestures at the catatonic state of their friend. “I mean look at him! What was I supposed to say?”

“Well.” Super starts strong only to trail off.

He pivots in the air, still hovering in front them both. Cups his chin with a thoughtful frown. Absently skims the cluttered workshop as he slowly spins in place before re-centering with a shrug. It’s surprisingly hard to keep focus and maintain the super form when there’s no imminent threat. Without anything to go on, he's just wasting power. So. His gaze returns to his battered rival.

“If nothing else I could try this?”

He drifts closer to the still stunned speechless ‘hog. Frowns slightly at the white part of Shadow’s eyes. They’d reddened significantly. Had he blinked once in the past minute or two? Nothing worth worrying over, he supposed. Not if this worked.

Super reaches a hand, still glowing a vibrant gold and soft flames of light emanating off him, and gently braces a palm against the side of Shadow’s face. Shadow doesn’t even move as Super closes his eyes.

Tails shifts beside them. “Try what?”

Super hums. “We’ll see if it works first, buddy.”

The sound vibrates in his chest and makes its way down the arm connecting him to his rival. The rings are burning slower than usual but once he starts this, they start burning like they would in battle. 

Super focuses the gem’s energy from their raw state of chaotic power into something he can channel into another person. He smoothes corrosive edges, softens acidic potency, gentles the sheer intensity of it all and funnels them through his own energy. Pours bits of his own chaos mixed with the gem’s through that funnel in his palm. Pushes it from there into Shadow’s own energy.

Shadow doesn’t do anything more than gasp sharply and let him do his thing. Super mentally shrugs, privately delighted by the fact Shadow was letting him touch him at all especially his face, and continues his foray into healing via chaos energy. 

The rings are gone even faster than in battle and soon after the last wound has closed and Super’s pulled away, the power keeping him aloft drains completely. The golden glow fades from his quills and they drop back into blue as he returns to the ground, his normal self once again. His grasp on the chaos emeralds slacken and the tension that had been building between the seven finally releases. The gems launch themselves harmlessly out of him like a slingshot and scatter once more.

He bounces a step from the residue energy crackling inside him and beams at his rival. “So now that that’s over with, mind telling us why you came all this way looking like you crawled outta a dumpster caught on fire?”

That of all things has Shadow snapping back to himself. Any awe lingering in his rival’s face vanishes. Fully returns to his normally composed self as he straightens and crosses his arms with a muted huff.

“Merely an experiment. Good day.” Whirls on a heel with shoes revving, dips his head in what might’ve been a polite farewell at his lil bro. “Prower.”

And leaves. He leaves. The cryptic jerk leaves.

Sonic gawks. “Whuh–? What was that?” He spins to face his brother. “Did you see that? Did you see?”

“I saw.”

“Didn’t even say goodbye to me! Me! He was the one who asked me to come all this way! I was next in line for brainiac dogs over in Spagonia, you know. Not as good as chili dogs but it was buy one get one free day! What the heck?”

His younger brother can only shrug helplessly with a puzzled smile, twin tails swishing behind him. “Don’t know, big bro. He did say it was an experiment.”

“Experiment in driving me insane, maybe! Now I’m gonna go crazy trying to figure him out.”

“You mean you weren’t already?”

“Tails!” He grins and hooks an arm around his annoyingly adorable baby bro. “I’ll show you who’s crazy!”

His bro only laughs and swats at the fist digging into his hair. Futilely fighting against the inevitable noogie but he's got him secured by the shoulders. “Have mercy! I’m not the one who spent the past month looking for seven whole emeralds and an entire inventory’s worth of rings.”

“I’ll give ya that!” Sonic cackles and lets him free. “What was up with that anyway?”

Elsewhere, unbeknownst to the brothers, one Shadow the Hedgehog was having a crisis of epic proportions. He had discovered a new, albeit incredibly difficult goal in life: to have Sonic turn Super more often than not because wow did he look alluring with a face of focused intensity framed by golden hues.

[theunsinkableship1]

DID WE MISS THIS?

⚠️DISCLAIMER: This is LUKOLALAND only. Skip this if you're not a shipper.

This is only my point of view and it is written with the following assumptions: 1 L and A are done or almost done, 2 L and N are endgame. Skip if you don't believe.

No harm intended.

I can’t remember the days when I was just living my own life; they seem so far away now that my thoughts are consumed by Lukola. Every now and then, a random thought pops up, today’s subject is Wordle. And here I am, overanalyzing everything about Lukola.

Nicola wrote this after her noticeable absence from the Emmys after-party: "I came, I presented one, I got too tired to go to the after-party, got into bed, and did the Wordle. Perfect day!"

Sounds interesting!

I was surprised by her absence, but I can understand it. She worked really hard before attending the Emmys, and she was at the pre-party. She might have felt overwhelmed by everything. As an introvert myself, I get that you need to recharge your social battery. Still, it surprised me. It was her biggest night yet, and I’m used to seeing her go all the way. But she’s human, and we all need to rest at some point. And she loves Wordle!

I’m not too familiar with the game, but I remember that she had posted something about it before. Today, I went back to look for it.

Wordle is a daily word game. Every day, the internet is greeted with a fresh word puzzle that can only be solved using a series of process-of-elimination clues. You get six attempts. Green means the letter is correct and in the right spot, and yellow means the letter is correct but in the wrong spot.

Let’s break it down:

Aloud: This could signify that something needs to be brought into the open, spoken out loud, or revealed perhaps Luke’s emotional turmoil or the unresolved feelings between him and Nicola. The fact that this word appeared as the first guess could suggest that Nicola, in this metaphor, already had an intuitive grasp of what was happening perhaps aware of Luke’s feelings for her that hadn't yet been vocalized or fully expressed.

Anvil: With the interpretation that “anvil” means something still being worked on, not fully matured, it could reflect Luke’s state of mind regarding his relationship with A and Nicola. Luke was likely still in the process of emotionally separating from A, and the relationship with Nicola had not yet fully formed, existing in a state of emotional tension, waiting to be shaped. It represents both the emotional weight of Luke’s decisions and the idea that something between Luke and Nicola was being forged but wasn’t yet ready. It’s an acknowledgement of the emotional process Luke was undergoing.

The yellow "L”: The fact that the "L" (Luke’s initial) is yellow further implies that while Luke was part of the equation, he was not yet in the "right place" for Nicola emotionally. It reflects his hesitation, his distance, and the fact that he had not yet made a full commitment or aligned himself with her, as he was still disentangling himself from his relationship with A.

Green "A" and "L" (A and Luke): The fact that A and Luke’s initials are "correct" in the Wordle puzzle could symbolize the public perception that their relationship was still intact or "correct" in the eyes of those watching. However, Nicola may be subtly suggesting that despite appearances, their relationship wasn’t right for Luke emotionally he was in the process of distancing himself from A.

"Solving in two guesses": This could be Nicola’s way of saying she quickly understood the real situation between Luke, A, and herself. It took only "two guesses" for her to see through the dynamics, possibly referencing how fast she came to realize that Luke's relationship with A was in the process of breaking down and that her own bond with Luke was growing stronger, even though it was still unspoken and unresolved.

In this light, Nicola’s Wordle post could be a clever metaphor for the emotional and relational dynamics at play: Luke’s distancing from A ("Anvil"), their unresolved and unspoken connection ("Aloud"), and how despite the appearance of "correct" relationships in public view, there was much more going on beneath the surface. It speaks to the emotional complexity of Luke's situation and Nicola's awareness of it.

In Nicola's point of view, "Wordle" could be a metaphor for how she interprets her relationship with Luke a puzzle she’s constantly trying to solve, where each guess brings her closer to clarity, yet requires careful thought and reflection. Just like in Wordle, she may feel like she’s navigating through uncertainties, making choices based on instinct or incomplete information, hoping for alignment. Each interaction, post, or moment together might represent one of her attempts to get the "right answer," revealing more about her feelings and connection with Luke.

Now I have a few questions for you:

Did Nicola ever mention that she solved a wordle in two guesses?

Was this before or did it start the chaos week?

Could wordle be a metaphor for something /someone during the Emmys?

We know that Nicola has a good game, and she knows that we love to play.

[thewallsaretalking-again]

“HAHAHA! look at his audial finals! Theyre taller than his fraggin' head!"

“Forget the finals length, look at his legs! He’s got SKYSCRAPERS for stabilizing servos!”

The young bots continued to hurl childish insults at Orion, who could do nothing but sit and watch as the loud voices of his peers rang through the hallway, bringing even more attention to the spat. The students had begun to gather around, some of them starting to snicker at the faces Orion made.

It was one of the few days where Orion was outside of the achives; a school day. It was the end of his second week at [REDACTED]. Like many new sparklings, Orion was having a bit of a hard time adjusting to his new environment and schedule: But he had a very different cause for it. Orion was, in human terms, around seven or eight, but he was only now being put into school for the first time. He knew practically nothing compared to other other bitlets his age. This, Again, was common for many sparklings, especially those of the lower castes; But this again brings up many other problems. Orion had spent half of his life tucked away from civilization in the cybertronian wilds, where food was scarce and life was scarcer. Being taken into Iacon city so suddenly had jolted his senses to an overwhelming point, and randomly being taught to talk and how and have manners was almost a breaking point for the young mech.

Now, Orion was facing a new and very real threat; socialization. Alpha Trion had hoped seeing bots his age would relax Orion some; possibly make his feel more at ease; but the opposite had happened. And, unfortunately. this as just the first of many, MANY rough encounters that Orion would have

“Haha…ew, EW! Look at his denta! They’re so sharp! What’s wrong with him?"

"Sweet Solus Prime! His servos are so sharp! Those things could rip a scraplet apart!”

“EEK! He’s looking at me! Get those creepy eyes off me you freak!”

Orion backed up even further as the crowd got closer and closer to him. Hearing himself clang into the corner of the hallway, Orion reached around the wall for something to grab onto. When he found nothing, he clutched his clawed servos to his chest and tried to make himself as small as possible, letting out an animalistic whimper.

The crowd roared with laughter at the strange sound he made, and only continuer to point out the things that were "wrong" with him: His long arms, his thin stature, his lack of armor; on and on the bitlets went, no sympathy running though their systems.

Just as Orion felt the farmiliar prick of tears in his optics, the bell rang, telling the botlings that they could now leave for the day. As the other botlings ran out the door, Orion blinked and lubricant steamed down his face. He stood there thinking of everything his peers had said about him, feeling something twist inside him as he gingerly grabbed his denta. Alpha Trion has always told him that wrongs could be righted… could he right this? This… none of this made sense…

“Hey! Get out of here you little rust stain! Schools out!”

Orion jumped at the obnoxious sound of his teachers voice. He scurried out of the hallway, head spinning, his metaphorical tail between his legs.

(BONUS)

Alpha trions heels clicked as he walked through the hall of records, looking for Orion. He noticed that Orion had been running off with increasing frequency since he bagan school half a cycle ago. Alpha Trion had begun to grow worried; Orion only talked about the things he learned at school and not about his peers or teachers. Not to mention, when he talked about the things that he learned he sounded… somewhat passionless about it. He always came home looking tired and defeated, and Alpha Trion was becoming more and more worried.

He quickly stopped and adjusted his audio receptors. Listening as well as he could, he faintly heard a sound resembling sudden puffs of air. Following the sound, it led him to an old storage room in the back of the archives. Everything back here was dark and musty, probably rusty and broken too, he thought to himself as he stared at an old toolbox left lying open in the middle of the hallway. Hearing the sound he was following again, he listened closely. It sounded almost like… Alpha Trion immediately perked up, running to a storage room a few rooms down and swiftly opening the door.

Alpha Trions spark sank as he stared at the scene before him. Orion was sitting in front of a dusty, broken mirror with a pair of rusty pliers in his servo; they were clamped onto one of his sharpest teeth, and were being tugged at viciously. Poor Orion was sobbing uncontrollably as he continued to make himself bleed. Alpha Trion rushed over, putting his servo over Orions, making him stop in his tracks. Orion glanced at him with a face full of sadness. Nothing was said as Orion dropped the rusty pliers and fell into Alpha Trions open arms. Alpha Trion sighed; he had a sneaking suspicion as to why Orion was so vague about his life outside of the Archives… And he had a horrible feeling about it…

————————————————————————

Heheh terrible oneshot(s) go brrrr

No but seriously I had this idea late yesterday and I wanted to post it today but I ended up having stuff to do so I posted it tonight instead. This is less of feral Orion, but more post-feral Orion and the some of the struggles he faces in his everyday life (As well as giving some hints as to why Optimus ended up the way he is now). This ended up being a bit more serious than I intended it to be in all actuality, but you can’t really tell why from this part of the story alone. I’ll probably post that tommorow.

Also just for the record this thing was written on the fly, wasnt proof read, or just generally didn’t get any of that nice professional stuff, so that’s probably why is 1. Sucks 2. Has some gramatical or punctuation errors.

[even-disco-baby]

YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”

DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.

EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.

CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.

YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”

DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.

“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”

And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…

PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.

VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…

“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”

“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”

“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”

“How could you say that…?”

DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.

“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”

SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?

“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”

“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”

“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”

“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”

DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.

“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”

RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.

VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?

I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…

I can. It’s enough.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

I can at least try for a little longer…

VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.