#this literally happened last week
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That's just how I stand...
#this literally happened last week#i guess she thought i was nervous#actually autistic#neurodivergent#stimming#autism#autistic
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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anyways. What
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#hc s10#docm77#joehills#joe hills#juppet#vintagebeef#doc beef and joe just slowly fucking loosing it throughout this interaction is one of my favorite things that's ever happened on hermitcraf#also. watching his fucking gigantic hour glass slowly grow in the background of other peoples videos for the last week#why did he do that to himself so early in the season omg 😭#it literally is so ridiculously large it is insane. it looks insane next to everything else around it. it takes up the entire skyline#im thinking about keralis. who built his lake facing the shopping district so he could avoid looking at iskall's monolith while fishing#or mumbo and grian joking about making the biggest mega build in the shopping district for their wart shop. good luck with that now lmao#seriously if you haven't already y'all should go watch Wels' last video if only to see that thing grow in the background throughout the vid#wels built an entire castle on accident in that video and i still spent the entire duration going 'DOC WHAT THE HELL' it was so distracting
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Cringetober Day 1. Screenshot Redraw
inspired by this early eah scene where raven "lets her bad side out" playing guitar and my cousin and I go "apple's probably losing it" and then they cut to her and she's making this face ↓
#starting off cringetober strong with day 1 on day 4 lol#I'm gonna steamroll through 2 and 3 today (and I have 4 unposted from last year so that's convenient)#prompt months are a good excuse to a draw bunch of media But last week my cousin and I rewatched some eah (my first time since high school)#so it's in my brain right now anyway :)#ever after high#eah#raven queen#apple white#rapple#tagging rapple because I made this with rapple intent but technically this is literally just what happened LOL#I Still feel like I didn't push her expression quite a far as they did but you can look at the screenshot. she's sooo funny she's so#unsubtle#this also started out as a meme redraw can you guess the meme#huge shoutout to the heart card in the bg looking like a deliberate choice on my part to make this look romantic#september 2024#(yes I did start this a little early)#cringetober 2024
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and it’s why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didn’t just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. He’s been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as they’ve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but it’s not his first time working with them. I think it’s just something important because this isn’t just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they could’ve been, since he hadn’t done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isn’t a crime and he’d be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didn’t give Jim the job this wouldn’t have happened is underplaying that they’ve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldn’t admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curly’s trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesn’t like him but doesn’t trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip it’s implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. he’s retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because he’s at his core an avoidant bully who can’t take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didn’t want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of it’s in the comments
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hey. don't cry. audible smile in brian murphy's voice when he says "...but it's good when your friends look out for you" ok?
#guess who finally listened to the ep#it released my finals week i just got to it lol#anyways the tone shift goes hard#knowing calder's literally not gonna die but being so bought in for that minute#when jake is monologuing how calder's feeling#and murph expounding and etc. and like?? again u literally already know he's gonna be ok but damn it's so poetic and i'm so bought in like#and then the way that last sentence transitions '...never wanted to be protected;'#AND THE SMILE. GOD#i love storytelling i love friendship#the smile in murph's voice here makes me so happy fr#like yaaaaay yippeeee friendship [: storytime [:#like it was already a clutch save. when emily says feather fall theres one of those 'oh thank god' moments of relief#but they rlly made it that much better huh. that moment didnt have to go that hard#but it did. thank u jake and murph for making it beautiful#(and emily for making it happen at all.)#(and caldwell for silvery barbs-ing lol)#is that a liveblog i see?#naddpod#brian murphy#ba2mia
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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HOLD THE FUCK UP EVERYONE!!!
DESPITE MY TERRIBLE AUDITION, I GOT A PART! AND NOT JUST ANY PART!
THE BARD OF SHERWOOD FUCKING FOREST!
I'M REYNOLD GREENLEAF!!
#emmett speaks#LITERALLY HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN#MY LUTE WASN'T TUNED#I WAS A FUMBLING MESS#AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SING!!!!!#maybe they just hired me on because of the lute who knows#maybe that last 30 seconds really WAS as funny as my dad hoped#BUT IT'S HAPPENING!!!#FIRST MEETING IS NEXT WEEK!!!! AAAAAAAAH!!!!!
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"omg homophobia :( the lesbian ship i want to kiss didn't kiss in an episode that was obviously going to be the backstory of another main character :( hes EXPLICITLY gay in a MARVEL DISNEY+ show and kisses his boyfriend but its still so homophobic :( the episode wasn't straight out of my headcannon so i hate it :("
do you know how dumb u sound rn
#like i want agatha and rio to kiss as much as the next gal#but this was so obviously going to be a billy-centric epsiode#which advanced the plot which is literally the point of every single episode???#random agathario makeout session would make NO SENSE here bc there was such a massive reveal at the end of last episode#so they have to go back and explain it#also#sorry to rant and sorry to be so angry lol#ive seen people saying how they already knew about billy from leaks and theories and comics so this ep was dumb and unnecessary#but i watch this show with my mum she has none of that context#she forgot what happened in last weeks episode#like#not everyone is on tumblr fighting for their lesbian witches#there are casual viewers who arent watching breakdowns and reading theories#so this episode was needed#it wasnt out of place#it would have been way weirder to not develop the whole billy thing and just keep going with the trials#that isnt how tv shows work#especially marvel shows that are part of a wider universe and cant just stand alone#GRRR IM GETTING ANGRY#i havent engaged like this with marvel for years#but smth about the way certain people are acting... its not quite sitting right#thats all lol#agatha all along#agathario#agatha spoilers#billy maximoff#billy kaplan
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the worst part of long term depression is how fucking boring it is. like im on my knees begging my asshole brain to just let me be interested in something, anything, i don’t care what it is i just can’t take another day where the time crawls by excruciatingly slowly and i still have to do it all again tomorrow.
#ok to rb#got passed over for a job i was rly feeling hopeful about this week#now my roommate isn’t here and i have literally nothing to do today#and no money. money would make things slightly easier bc then at least I could go do something#like damn i actually would be interested in going to the aquarium but it’s $60#el problema es el capitalismo#el problema is also the deep rooted trauma but. that honestly feels harder to fix atp than the capitalism part#tbh i just need to get obsessed with something#but you can’t force that#and the last time it happened was 18 months ago. so.#op
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my cat deserves a raise for holding the literal entire weight of my life on his teeny little head
#oversharing in the tags#literally the only reason i didn’t die last week is because nobody wants this little fuck and he wouldn’t have anywhere to go if i died#does he know that he is the single thread keeping me together#he’s just sitting here on my couch#sleeping#and his little nap is enough of a reason for me to stay alive at least as long as he does#it’s miserable and i hate it#but i would hate him losing his person more#and since i happen to be his person#i guess that means i have to stick around for a few more years#boss tag
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the fact nobody got slapped in tlh is a crime, several of those characters should have been humbled asap
#people were getting hit left right and centre in tid what happened :(#the most shocking scene in cot was james showing up in paris and i literally saw spoilers for that a week before i read the book#people needed to be meaner. where is the conflict i miss it#bella talks#chain of thorns#the last hours#cot spoilers#chain of thorns spoilers#chot spoilers#tsc#the shadowhunter chronicles#anna lightwood#chain of gold#chain of iron#james herondale#cordelia carstairs#lucie herondale#thomas lightwood#alastair carstairs#ari bridgestock#matthew fairchild
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When I saw this happen on stream, I knew what had to be done…
#this was so rushed#the quality could be better but I’m proud at how quick I made this lol#I had to speed run because I’m going on vacation & I wanted to get it posted before I left ;-;#again#you can tell who’s my favorite to draw#I’ll probably have more stuff to post at the end of the trip#I’ll be gone for so long ;-;#do you know how much happens within a day#let alone 2 weeks?!#foolish literally lost his last presidential life today#something nobody thought would happen#so soon#qsmp#q!maximus#q!aypierre#q!baghera#qsmp maximus#qsmp aypierre#qsmp baghera#qsmpshipping#qsmp shipping#tw suggestive#???#furryduo#maxierre#my art
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i should listen to more artists, new music. *listens to five songs from something that isnt tally hall related* wowzers that was good. i should listen to that more often. unfortunetly for them, theyre are not a middle aged colourful tie wearing fella. back to my regulary scheduled tally hall. *listens to only tally hall for the next 3 weeks nonstop untill i again decide to widen my music taste*
#in the two months and ten days ive been hyperfixated on tally hall ive noticed a pattern#tally hall#devilish rambles#ill be listening to tally hall and decide i want to widen my music taste#so then i do but just for a teeny bit#then i go back to the familiar sounds of tally hall for weeks on end with no interruption from other music#this happened to me recently#i started listening to will wood regularly (alongside tally hall)#but im going back to tally hall#last month it was lovejoy#and before that it was lemon demon#its not cuz i dont like these other artists. tally hall isnt my favourite band. im just INCREDIBLY hyperfixated on them#im literally listening to tally hall right now
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So I Just got fired. No explanation given. (Still in probation period, so this is fully allowed and the union can't do anything about it.)
I just got paid last Friday, so much has come out because of bills, and next Friday's paycheck will, well, be a quarter of what it usually is. If you have some spare cash, and you feel like helping the sweet poly bi bug on your dash, I'd really appreciate it being sent my way.
P*yp*l is innalheid, dm me for e-transfers, if there's another app you use we might be able to figure smthn out
#im so...........stunned#literally This Morning everything was fine. yesterday everything was fine. last week everything was fine.#i dont think i did anything?????? i dont think i broke any rules??????#i can think of some Minor Infractions but like.............#ive. never been fired before.#i truly dont know what happened.
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Me on a plane: Huh I'm getting pretty anxious while flying right now. Oh well, I should just listen to a podcast to get my mind off it.
Silt Verses episode 44: OH GODS OUR PLANE GOT SHOT DOWN WERE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!! TELL ME ALL OF YOUR REGRETS BECAUSE WE ARE SO FUCKING DEAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
#Literally happened to me last week when driving in the country and Shrew yelling “KILL YOUR GODS!!!”#the silt verses
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