#this isn’t talking about the way romance is used in fiction or the way relationship arcs work or anything

[daisyachain]

This is generalization but it does make me feel like I’m losing my mind. Anglo-American romance novels aimed at women—‘what if you, a normal person, were forced into proximity with the smuggest most self-satisfied person who physically invades your space, insults you, acts like an attention whore at best, borderline sexually assaults you, isn’t that great’ and then you go to romance manga aimed at young women—‘what if you, a normal person, we’re forced into proximity with a two faced bitch who tries to control your every move and also refuses to speak or engage with you unless it’s to isolate you from your peers or get mad at you for talking to another living person’

[tragedybunny]

Hey there, saw you were so short requests for Astarion. I'll make it short and simple for ideas. How about either; autistic-coded, plus size or shorter! Tav relationship with Astarion headcanon ideas?

Thanks for the ask. I decided to go with autistic Tav since I actually have an idea for a plus size Tav rolling around my idea doc.

Astarion x Autistic GN!Reader Headcanons

Astarion is so pretty, he intimidates you. You’ve always been an outsider, and the people that put you down the most are always the pretty, perfect, definitely not weird people. 

Despite this, you start to find him nice enough, even letting him feed on you. 

When Astarion starts flirting with you, you absolutely do not notice, much to his frustration.

When he eventually bluntly asks you for sex, it makes you so sad. Being the town oddball, you’re used to being propositioned as a joke. You quietly turn him down and decide Astarion isn’t your friend after all. 

You keep feeding him though when he needs it. Mostly because you’re not sure how to tell him about how it made you feel.

Astarion is stunned you turned him down, sure you haven’t been responsive to his flirting, but you get along well enough. And he’s afraid, you need to be on his side since everyone looks up to you. 

He tries to flirt a few more times, but he finds it hurts a little more each time you don’t reciprocate. Even worse, he starts thinking about how nice it would be if you did, even if it was just a smile thrown his way. 

It’s so confusing, he stops even feeding from you, worried one night he’ll ask to just stay, to be allowed to even be in your presence for a few hours. 

You’re always so quiet and reserved around him, but he starts to notice how there’s certain people you just bloom around. Karlach for example, you seem to have no problem chatting the large Tiefling’s ear off. 

It would seem you just don’t like him. 

One day the two of you are rummaging through a ruined house and end up in an old library. A shout from you makes him turn and ask if you’re alright. 

You explain you’re excited because you found a book from this series you love. It’s these biographies of old nobles, heroes, etc., fictionalized but really fun. 

You’re smiling and your eyes are so bright. Astarion’s never seen anything so beautiful. 

Then it all dies in an instant. “I’m sorry, this is silly. I’m probably bothering you.” 

Astarion wants to gut every person who ever made you feel that way. And he can tell there were many. 

He hurries to assure you that you are not boring him, and this is not silly. 

With a little prodding, you continue until the sound of Gnolls in the distance makes you both realize it’s time to go. 

At the last second, he recalls he saw the author’s name in another pile that had fallen from the shelf. He plucks it out and hands it to you. “Now you have two.”

That night, you shyly turn up at his tent, asking if he’d like to borrow one. 

At this point, he’d read a book Gale wrote on Tressyms just to talk with you about it. 

“If you’ll stay and read with me.” He’s shocked you agree.

It’s becomes a ritual, you read together at night, and talk about it on the road during the day. 

You’re finally all bright and cheerful with him, and it takes his breath away. 

One night, he can’t resist and leans in to steal a kiss while you’re chatting. 

You’re stunned. Normally you’d think he was making fun of you again, but now that you’ve gotten closer, it’s just confusing.

You finally have the courage to ask, and Astarion confesses how long he’s liked you. 

You’re overwhelmed and take a while to speak, making Astarion afraid he’s just ruined everything.

When you do, everything spills out, as you hurriedly explain why you kept your distance. 

Astarion really can’t believe that a kind, gorgeous person like yourself was some sort of strange outcast. But he is a Vampire so maybe he’s skewed. 

The two of you take things slow, you don’t exactly have much experience in romance. 

Which is nice, it let’s Astarion figure himself out a bit more. 

He realizes that sometimes you get in over your head in social situations, and he’s always there to back you up or take over.

The first time you had a meltdown, you were both scared, Astarion that he'd caused it somehow and you that he'd see how abnormal you were.

Afterwards, he starts to open up more about disassociating and his nightmares.

You learn how to take care of each other when these things happen. 

Astarion will admit he doesn't always follow the thought process that's going on in that lovely head of yours, but it makes you even more fascinating, not frustrating like you worry. 

You call yourself strange and again he reminds you he's a literal blood sucking, undead, creature of the night. Who's the strange one? 

When you talk about something you're passionate about, you're amazing to watch. 

Astarion doesn't come with ingrained expectations you can never meet. He just wants you to be you. 

You've never felt more comfortable and safe around anyone. 

Astarion often threatens to head back to your hometown to teach a few people a lesson. You tell him it doesn't matter anymore, you're so happy right now, today 

The two of you argue constantly about who's luckier to have ended up in this relationship. But it feels like you were made to be together. 

Tag list, to be added comment or dm me

@micropoe10 @spacebarbarianweird @writingmysanity @mxxny-lupin @azu21

@tallymonster @dependsonthedream

@sunfire-ancunin @bambamwolf87 @fayeriess

@lumienyx @elora-the-slutty-songstress

@astariongf @satanicspinosaurus @lisrelly

[inawickedlittletown]

No Queerbaiting Here

A long time ago…I’m talking May of 2021, I wrote a meta post about queerbaiting. Essentially an essay. I wrote it right before the S4 finale of 9-1-1 aired because I was frustrated by Buddie fans calling Queerbait entirely like the boy that cried wolf. I still stand by it. Sort of. 

Now, even back then I was pretty clear about how 50/50 I was on Buddie ever going canon. (Maybe not in that post but certainly elsewhere) But, I shipped Buddie then and wrote a lot of fic and meta and participated in fandom. I never said it couldn’t happen…I just would never be bothered if it didn’t.

Where we stand now: It’s not going to happen. 

And where I stand now: fully immersed in Bucktommy. And what’s more, I am more than perfectly happy about Buck and Tommy staying together and going the long-run. Although I can still look at Buddie and think it’s a cute ship, I just don’t want it in canon. I would not be satisfied if the show went that way. But what’s more if Buck and Tommy don’t work out, that would be disappointing, but I’d be okay as long as they got to be happy. There is, after all, always fanfiction. 

So, I wanted to revisit this concept a bit now that Buck has been confirmed as Bisexual and now that he is in a relationship with a man. Not Eddie. Tommy. And somehow, some Buddie fans are still crying queerbait because their ship is not canon. That’s not how it works. Also…shipping works outside of canon, that’s the whole point of shipping. 

To reiterate from my original post on queerbaiting, here’s the definition from wikipedia:

“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.” 

Here’s where I stand: Buddie was abandoned a long time ago. If it was ever a real possibility, we won’t ever know. What we do know is that Oliver was aware that at one point he had given them the go-ahead to make Buck Bi. Whether this was by putting Buck and Eddie together or having Buck realize this another way, we just don’t know that. We don’t have that information and nor will it probably ever be provided to us. Narratively, I know that a lot of fans figured the timing of it fit with S4 and that particular finale but we really just don’t know despite what happened in the finale.

I found that interesting looking back at my own post from back then and the discussion that followed where some fans felt that the way the finale went would determine if Buddie would be another queerbait ship. (I think most people agreed after the will scene that it wasn’t queerbait because it did leave a kernel of hope that Buddie might still happen). 

And yeah, I guess you could argue that the network deciding not to go the route of a queer storyline points to missed opportunity. That doesn’t then mean that any queerbaiting occurred or that any fans are owed anything just because something that was set up or that the writers were writing towards was then scrapped by the network. Is it a shame that it didn’t happen in whatever way they wanted to play it out, sure, but only because Buck would have been confirmed queer earlier. In the same vein isn’t it nice that we have a confirmed Bisexual Buck now? That the show managed to bring it back to that.

A Buck that is happy and free and that has realized something so monumental about himself? Isn’t it nice that all the queer coding that Buck as a character has received since the start of the show is actually finally not just queer coding but full on character development? That we can look back at the show and see all the things Buck did around other men for exactly what they were. 

When Tommy first returned to 9-1-1 in S7, I think a lot of us were excited by the spoilers about Buck and Tommy because of Bi Buck, but also because this was the thing that could lead to Buddie. 

And then…then Tommy was actually on my screen and I doubted it. I actually thought maybe the spoilers were wrong and this was about Eddie and Tommy? That episode flipped things in such an expertly way that by the time Tommy and Buck were sharing a kiss for the first time I was right there with Buck. On a second watch, it is all there. Buck was never jealous because his friend was ignoring him. He was jealous because his best friend had the attention of the guy whose attention he wanted for himself. The writing on that was perfect and no amount of twisting it can change what happened on screen. 

Buck was not jealous because of Eddie. Tommy was never interested in more than friendship with Eddie. And Buck and Tommy have nothing to do with Buddie. Tommy is not a stepping stone, a way for Buck to be ready to then embark on a relationship with Eddie. That’s both disrespectful to Tommy and Buck, but just not what the story being told on the show is doing. 

The storyline is monumental. Having a big strong guy, a firefighter, figure out his sexuality in his thirties is such good storytelling and add to that Tommy. Someone that we already know, who already works as a first responder, and who can show up and wow Buck in such a way that he realizes something about himself? This is what I’ve always wanted. Because guess what, Buck never questioned his sexuality before this. Not when he met Eddie and not when he met anyone else, not until Tommy. 

Going into the new season we know a few things and one of those is that Buck and Tommy are thriving. The media coverage talks about them as a solid couple, it talks about Buck having someone to turn to and complain to. It talks about how they are still in the getting to know each other phase and I love that for them. I love how they are being treated and described and I can’t wait to see what plays out for them and how much of the build up of their relationship we may get to actually see. 

Do you know what the media and the show never talked about outwardly like this? Buddie. Whenever it came up it was always brushed aside in a way that was respectful to fans and what they saw, but without ever confirming or hinting that the show would ever go there. They never queerbaited anyone with Buddie, what they have done is say “yeah…we know what you see” and then turned around and given us a Buck and Eddie friendship and Buck kissing Tommy, going on a date with Tommy, and thriving with Tommy. 

So, no queerbaiting here on the show where half of the major canon pairings are queer. It’s actually more like some fans baiting other fans with theories and headcanons that just don’t fit.

[messiahzzz]

thank you sm for the ask!! 💕 i’m glad you enjoy my posts and it is not a strange request by any means!

note: this is merely my read on gale’s sexual preferences/kinks. i don’t want to police anyone on their headcanons or claim they are “incorrect”. since the game doesn’t provide too much detail, many things remain up to interpretation. (and lest we forget fanfiction has always encouraged the exploration of dynamics that may not be present in canon.)

gale is a character who isn’t interested in walking the straight and narrow route. he is all about new experiences, favoring non-traditional means, putting his own spin on things, and the thrill of seeking the forbidden. the sheer romance of the uncharted and the unknown. he is enthusiastic in almost every aspect and possesses an infectious zest for life. in regards to his sexual preferences, this translates into an eagerness to explore, witness new sensations, and reach new heights together. while approaching the topic of sexuality with a generally playful, adventurous attitude.

if you’re looking for harder kinks, however — i don’t believe gale is the character for you. and in case it needs to be said again: there is nothing wrong with being vanilla.

initially, i see gale as a switch, who gravitates more towards assuming a dominant role, due to his ever-present desire to give and to impress. i do think he enjoys giving up control, yet you still have to actively convince him to let himself go and be spoiled for once. his first focus will always be to fulfill his partner's needs and drown them in his all-encompassing love and adoration. i also believe that gale will grow more comfortable with being the center of attention, once their relationship has reached a point of total security (and he had ample opportunities to show in just how many ways he can wow them). gale is not a strict dom, nor a sub. in his ideal relationship roles would be discarded entirely, deeming them too restrictive in his expression of intimacy with a trusted partner. it’s all about variety and ridding oneself of the shackles of the worldly, after all. melting into one perfect whole, not knowing where he ends and his partner begins.

gale: we are all sensual vessels. illusory magic lets us sail farther, and feel more deeply.

gale: [..] i could use the weave to make us feel sensations beyond reckoning.

based on what we know about gale, these could be some of his kinks:

lots of praise (this is non-negotiable), sensation/temperature play (waxplay, electrostimulation/all the many perks magic has to offer), sensory deprivation, light restrictions and bondage, the occasional roleplay, katoptronophilia (self-explanatory), altered mental-states (hypnosis, psychedelics), orgasm control & denial, body worship, olfactophilia and given his propensity towards verbosity: narratophilia and some very inventive dirty talk. as for my own self-indulgent take: due to the recurring emphasis on hands during his romance, as well as his being the main tool in how he shapes and navigates the world: quirofilia.

nodecontext: flustered, standing in front of his romance partner in bondage gear. not necessarily uncomfortable with the bondage aspect, just trying to stay focused.

now, what are gale’s hard-limits?

gale, after the player received loviatar's blessing: your hide, your choice. not quite my cup of tea though.

while projecting your own kinks and fantasies onto fictional characters is fine and well, disregarding and ignoring the source material (and the character's stated boundaries) is another matter entirely. fanon!gale is rather ooc and very different from his canon portrayal, which is something that tends to irk me. although this remains a common fandom phenomenon.

personally, i don’t see gale as someone who enjoys pain of any kind, be it giving or receiving (with the exception of spanking and light choking, if a certain mood strikes. although it is kept mostly playful). contrary to what fandom may claim, having self-worth issues, being loquacious, emotionally expressive, and vulnerability-seeking (as well as being commonly perceived as arrogant and insufferable) doesn't automatically equal having repressed masochistic tendencies. he could be convinced to dip a toe into sadism, but only upon his partner’s insistence. although i doubt he himself would find enjoyment in that.

the same applies to degradation/humiliation. i doubt that a character who is still very much struggling with inherent self-worth issues and a general feeling of being defective/not worthy would derive sexual gratification from being degraded. yes, it can certainly be healing for some, but gale doesn’t strike me as someone who would find particular enjoyment in that. quite the contrary, actually. nor would he like to do the degrading for that matter (he would vehemently refuse. all he wants to do is sing your praises.) gale wouldn’t enjoy being leashed and/or collared in any way either. the prospect of being tied up or restricted is rather intriguing, cause it serves to center one’s vulnerability while also allowing for more intense sensations. anything that taps into the puppy play/slave territory tho? he would find it demeaning… and, quite frankly, silly.

gale is also not a voyeur, nor a cuck. the entire scene with the drow twins leans way too much into dub-con territory for my tastes. the only way you can get him to participate at all is by rolling a persuasion check with DC 25. in every other dialogue option, he immediately (and explicitly) declines. even if you do manage to pass the persuasion check, he is still very hesitant about participating.

gale: i might enjoy watching you tangled up with the drow, as long as i was five paces back.

he then immediately runs from the room, because sending a simulacrum in his place was the only way to somewhat remove himself from the situation while still being able to please tav. because of course he wants to please and clearly this is important to tav so he might just… have to discard his reservations and... just go through with it?!

gale: well i suppose it would do no good to back out now. let us begin this little anthropological study, if we must.

i am aware that fandom uses the fact that his “orb lit up in telltale excitement” as a justification that persuading him was the right choice, as well as confirmation that he was secretly into it and “just needed a little push" to explore his desires/get out of his comfort zone. that implication alone is very suspect and goes straight into the sort of logic abusers often use. you can be physically aroused by certain scenes, images, or sounds, even while being visibly uncomfortable with the presented scenario. it is a natural response that you can’t often control. which is what he is showing throughout the entire scene: discomfort. he was coerced into this situation, without any prior discussion or an opportunity to talk about his boundaries. furthermore, this is what he has to say if you approach him after the threesome:

gale: ahem. i hope you're not here to ask about our recent, erm, activities. i'd rather those were consigned to the footnotes of our romance, if it's all the same with you.

since he is strictly monogamous, any arrangement involving another person is also a no. he made this rather clear when tav sought him out after receiving halsin's proposal. him being monogamous isn't solely rooted in his trauma, it isn't something he has to “overcome” in order to heal, nor does it mean that their relationship is any less fulfilling. call him greedy, stubborn, or old-fashioned, but he cannot comfortably agree to that.

[musicalmoritz]

do u hc any character on the aro/ace spectrum?

I love this question!! Unfortunately since TBHK is so heavily focused on romance, I don’t have many. Ofc aroace ppl can still date but fandoms tend to ignore the nuance of that statement and put them into relationships without considering what that means for them. I like to look at it a bit deeper because aroace headcanons do have some importance to me. My sister is aroace so every time I see a headcanon for a character being aspec I have to let her know lol. So before I get into this list I just wanted to say to any aroace ppl who see this, I love ya’ll, ya’ll are doing great <3

Nobody murder me, I’m going to explain. Typically I’m not a fan of aroace villains bcuz the trope has some nasty implications. That doesn’t mean no villain character can ever be headcanoned as aroace but I need some very good reasons before sticking with a headcanon like that. And for Tsukasa, I have my reasons!! A lot of fans tend to agree that he shouldn’t be in a relationship with anybody and that used to really annoy me because I don’t like the whole “this character is clearly mentally ill therefore they get no love” thing. I know it goes deeper than that with him being generally abusive but still. Eh. There are people with disorders that make them bad partners and those people are still very capable of getting therapy and improving. Plus most fans who say that claim to love toxic ships to like???

I’m not really a fan of any Tsukasa ships tho (I used to crack ship TsuAoi but those days are over) so I figured I would actually put some effort into giving a reason as to why he doesn’t do relationships. Rather than go the whole “he could hurt other people” route, I wanted to focus more about how Tsukasa himself would feel about dating. And to be honest? I don’t think he’d like it! He’s definitely interested in relationships as a concept but I don’t think he’s the type to take them seriously. I try to use this headcanon to humanize Tsukasa rather than demonizing him like a lot of people do with aroace villain headcanons. Love is very important to him on a platonic level but romance just isn’t his thing. And it creates a nice contrast in fics between him and characters whose lives center so much around romance. My sister actually is the one who introduced me to this hc and every aroace hc she has is law so I abide by it lmao

This one is way more recent but it makes so much sense to me. If you want to talk about characters who are more realistically potentially aroace, Tsuchigomori has never expressed the desire for a love interest in canon. When most adult male characters are single in fiction it’s seen as a problem (at least in a comedic sense), but with Tsuchigomori none of the characters question it. I feel like he has some level of interest in romance, maybe demiromantic?? But overall romantic attraction isn’t something he experiences easily

This one is more based on vibes and me hunting down every TBHK character that doesn’t have an arc connected to romantic attraction. I don’t think he realized it when he was alive because the people in his village didn’t talk about asexuality/aromanticism much. Maybe he thought he was gay but that didn’t quite feel right because his disinterest in women extended to everyone. He seems like the type to love being surrounded by people and be generally very personable, so his platonic relationships are very important to him. Just no romance

I know you specifically asked for aroace characters but I 100% see this man as demiromantic, and maybe demisexual too. Possibly completely asexual, though leaning more towards the positive side of the spectrum (or just neutral). Emotions don’t come easily to this man so love is a complicated subject but I do believe he’s capable of loving people romantically, just under specific circumstances and not in the traditional sense

I hope you liked these headcanons!! I’ve seen some others that interest me too. I once wrote a Sakuhiko request where they were both aroace and queer platonic, that was very fun. I’ve also seen both the Minamoto brothers written as asexual which is cool to me. Tbh I’m open to most types of headcanons unless I see one that inexplicably gives me the ick…but even then I mind my business bcuz I don’t have to agree with every headcanon I see. I may not have many aroace headcanons for TBHK but I have more for other fandoms, completely unrelated but I could write a whole essay on why Jean Valjean is aroace lol

[heretherebedork]

Hi,

I have a question about your comments on Love Sea. Genuinely no hate, I’m just curious. Are you saying that, because we should have clear, enthusiastic consent 100% of the time in real life (which is obviously completely correct and I’m not disagreeing with that at all), we cannot/should not ever explore anything other than that in fiction? I’m not disagreeing that Mame romanticises a specific dynamic that includes ignoring ‘no’ in a way that would be completely wrong, immoral, and criminal, in real life, but this isn’t real life. If people enjoy that dynamic in fiction, and that is the dynamic Mame wants to write, and that viewers expect from her, isn’t that up to them? Even if they do also praise better representations of consent in other shows, isn’t it possible they enjoy seeing this dynamic explored, in fiction, but are also glad it’s not the only representation of consent out there and that there are also others that are closer to what would be appropriate in reality. It doesn’t have to be either/or, does it?

So. The answer to this is dear lord I didn't tag the show for a reason.

But also.

The answer to that is that sometimes it works. When Mut was carrying Rak into the sea and Rak was saying no and they were both laughing and it was fun and teasing? That was fine! That was a no that obviously wasn't meant as a serious no and was joking.

But when Mut was dragging him out to his motorbike and he was protesting the entire time and telling him he didn't want to go and didn't want to be there and to stop and Mut had to literally scare him to make him go with? That's not okay. Because that is literally takin g no means no and making it a joke.

The dynamic being explored here works in so many contexts without specifically making 'no means no' into a joke. There are so many ways that this kind of dynamic can work that doesn't have to specifically be 'man, isn't it romantic the way he ignored his no?'

I don't tag the show in my posts because I don't want to show up in the tag or bother people who enjoy this. I use specific tags to let people easily block my posts.

But the honest answer is that making it works and exploring the dynamic also includes acknowledging what you're exploring in the process. And neither MAME nor her fans are doing that. Typically fans write this off as romantic and sexy and not as anything they wouldn't want in real life. I've had people argue with me for literal pages about the diary reading scene in the Other Show and how it was so needed and romantic and just...

Look, I like codependency in fictional romances! It's not romantic in real life but I love it in fiction. It's one of my favorite tropes. I love Love Syndrome III and it's toxic as fuck. But that show knew it was toxic and fully embraced that it was toxic and didn't try to write that as the romance but rather as a fucked up relationship that was what the two leads wanted despite how toxic it was. And I loved it! A+!

The problem with exploring a dynamic without acknowledging that you're exploring the dynamic is that it turns no means no into a joke in the show and that's... that's just unpleasant.

People are free to explore things and enjoy things and I specifically don't tag my criticism with the show for that reason. But the problem is that people talk about how sexy all of this and enjoy it and will be very clear, just like MAME was last episode about 'people asked why characters do things' that what they want is... whatever that means, I guess?

I post criticism that is specifically tagged to let people avoid it because I want people to know what I think and that I do see these shows and can offer criticism but also that it's not for the fans of the show because it's specifically tagged for them to avoid.

[spaceorphan18]

Why is Blaine written as this hypermasculine character in fan fiction? People can absolutely write how they like, I just don’t quite understand why this is such a common trope as he isn’t really like this in canon, is he?

I mean, you watched the show Nonny, what do you think? <3 <3 <3

So. I can kind of talk about how this happened back in the day. I'm not sure I have a good explanation for now.

There are a couple of components going on when the show first started. For one -- Blaine's character was ill-defined and in Season 2, he came off as more masculine coded than he would later on in the series. Even into Season 3, they'd lump Blaine into the guys and Kurt in with the girls and even the show set up this dichotomy that they filled different gender roles.

However... the second component, and the one that really, we should be talking about, is the fact that a lot of people tried putting stereotypical, heteronormative layers onto them. And -- eeesh, that has not aged well, has it. I remember there were a lot of discussions as how Kurt was the 'girl' in the relationship, and assigning those gender roles on to topping vs bottoming, and honestly, it's all a little gross, and completely dismissive of the fact that we're talking about two men in a homosexual relationship.

So, Blaine going super masculine was a way to counter Kurt as super feminine. I mean... and that's the way a LOT of romances had been written in the published world -- (I mean, eesh, just reading Julia Quinn, she's adhering to these strict gender roles up the wazoo, and they aren't great even for the straight couples.) But when that's what people know and are used to (and some people just like that dynamic) that's kind of what got layered onto Klaine.

that all said, gender conformity isn't as much of Klaine's story as people tried to make it. Yes, in the beginning - Kurt was much more effeminate, and Blaine filled in that role as hero, savior and protector, and the Klaine romance took on elements of things like fairy tales, etc. But that's shoving them both into archetypes that are, really, archetypes, and doesn't allow them the nuances of being more fleshed out characters.

Well, more fleshing out is what we got, and as time went on, they evened out. Kurt's masculinity became more pronounced, as did Blaine's femineity, and by the time the show was done, they were pretty even when it came down to having more masc vs fem traits.

But I mean, I go back to my first point, this is still a gay couple, and neither one, no matter how feminine they are, is the 'girl' in the relationship.

Idk, I've probably been more eloquent before when discussing this, because this isn't the first time I have. But it boils down to people wanting to place Blaine into a certain archetype that is surface level and ignoring his sexuality. but I assumed people have gotten away from that? Idk what the state of fanfic is these day. :P

[eyeofhurakana]

Title: “Unlike Fiction” Chapter: 1/1? Pairing: Sampo x Reader, Gepard x Reader Reader: Gender Neutral / Illegal Underworlder living in Overworld Relationship Level: Sampo - Ex-Beau / Gepard - Current Beau   Trust: Sampo - Low / Gepard - Moderate Summary: You decide to show up for Gepard’s celebration for becoming Captain of the Silvermane guard at Serval’s request. However, things don’t go as expected… Warning!: Cursing, Thoughts of Self-Harm (No harm though!)

Glimmering glass chandeliers, bubbling champagne, and a cast of incredibly wealthy persons that all seem to know one another only skin deep… 

This scenery is straight out of any romance novel conveying star-crossed lovers of opposing social classes. Though you had to admit, the authors really nailed it. You always thought that at least some of it had to be a little embellished. Yet just as they say, even the ceiling of this immense manor is painted with glorious recounts of Belobog’s long history with awe-inspiring detail. 

Your fingers squeeze around the stem of your champagne glass.  

The nobles that have gathered are all dressed to the nines. Some even go so far as to wear flowers that are worth at least six years of your own pay. You gulp when you catch sight of a few of the noble ladies standing off to the side in a huddled corner with handheld fans up, covering the lower part of their faces. Quickly, you avert your gaze.  

You already know they’re talking about you. Not that it matters. Gossip is a game for the small-minded and weak-willed. 

Though you can’t help a certain thought that keeps besieging your mind. 

Should you really be here?

“There you are!” Serval calls excitedly with no bother to maintain the rules of decorum as she hurries over to you.

Thank Qlipoth… 

Her outfit fits the atmosphere but you feel a sense of pride to see that she never took out her punk rock highlights. It gives you a sense of solidarity as there were a few things in your own look that you refused to change just for a single event. 

She definitely gets a few irksome looks, for the mere sin of existing. But like the magnificent storm queen that she is, she doesn’t even care. Immediately, you feel like you’ve found refuge the second she hooks her arm around yours. 

“Ugh, thank goodness that you’re here. I was about to lose my head just a moment ago,” she huffs lightly before leaning into you with a relieved smile, “Seriously. I’m really glad you came. I know this isn’t what you’re used to… but if I know Geppie, he’s going to love it that you're here.”

“You really think so?” you ask, still feeling a bit apprehensive. 

“Of course! Oh god. You should see how he lights up whenever he mentions you. I swear, you’re like his favorite subject to talk about these days. He barely mentions work anymore. Thank you, by the way. That subject was getting a bit tiresome, but I never really knew how to break it to him, you know? I’m just still sore after the whole… Well… You know.” 

Her cerulean eyes drift downwards. 

Serval’s sudden termination from the Architects was definitely a huge blow. It was still fresh in her mind despite it happening over a few months ago. Even so, you could still see the cracks it left in her. 

It was a miracle that she didn’t give up hope on everything entirely… 

You squeeze her arm a little to bring her back to the present before she can drown herself in the past. 

“Hey, let’s just enjoy ourselves then. We’ve been through hell. It’s the least we can do, right? We can even see this as, I dunno, reparations for stupid bullshit?” 

“Reparations for Stupid Bullshit. RSB. I like it,” Serval laughs with a delighted nod, gladly going with the flow, “Yeah. Let’s do that.” 

She squeezes you back. An appreciative thank you. 

The two of you end up tearing up the tables filled with fancy cocktails and hors d'oeuvres while chatting about everything and nothing. By the time the great big announcement comes around, both you and Serval are incredibly - and happily - drunk. Restraint isn’t exactly a strong suit for either of you. It’s probably why you get along so well.

When Gepard is announced as the next Captain of the Guard, you both end up hooting and hollering like fools. You get a few glances from those surrounding you and even Gepard breaches the usual protocol to peek. 

But he doesn’t smile when he sees you. 

Instead, his eyes widen, brows flying up. Then he turns to face front and center like the soldier he’s trained to be. 

“...” 

A sudden sick, sinking feel forms in your chest. 

What was that? 

It doesn’t help that you’re intoxicated. The wall that usually keeps the worst thoughts out suddenly isn’t there anymore. Worries flood you without hindrance. 

The dam of reason isn’t there to protect you. 

“The hell was that?” Serval says, only escalating your worries, “He saw us, right?” 

You purse your lips tightly, unable to reply. 

Gepard receives praise from both of his parents as well as a few renowned dignitaries. It takes everything you have to keep Serval from breaking into tears at the sight of Cocolia. Serval ends up holding your hand with such a tight grip that her fingernails dig into your skin. But you let it happen. You know how deep those emotional wounds have cut… 

She’s barely holding herself together. 

“Serval…” 

“Don’t tell me we should go. I-I deserve to be here too,” she insists shakily which is remarkably perceptive for own so heavily inebriated, “If anything… she’s the one that doesn’t belong here… This is my home. My home.”  

The pain in her voice pulls at every heartstring inside of you. But you have to be the least drunk between you. …Since sobriety is long, long gone. 

“I… need to use the bathroom,” you say. 

It’s not a lie entirely. Besides, she won’t question it. You don’t know your way around this place like she does. 

“Oh shit. Sorry. Yeah, of course. Come on. I’ll take you… woah. Um… Let me hang onto you.” 

It takes a little while to find a washroom. It seems Serval’s mind keeps getting muddled from having seen Cocolia. But you keep your patience. It’s what you’d want from your friend if this ever happened to you… 

By the time you get to a nearby empty washroom, you barely shut the door when you hear Serval breaking into tears. Your heart becomes heavier than you’re used to. Maybe because you’re pretty sure that you’re bound for one more heartbreak today. 

Gepard’s face the moment he saw you in the crowd has yet to leave your mind. 

As much as you’d like to hope… you feel that you already know.

He didn’t tell them… 

You sit there on the closed toilet for barely a moment before breaking out into silent tears. 

This… always… happens. 

You try to keep quiet as best you can. You don’t like expressing your pain to others. Your upbringing discouraged showing weakness of any kind. To those around you at that time… you were an incessant inconvenience. 

Even still, you hear a soft knock on the door. 

Serval sniffles just behind it. 

“Are you crying?” she asks with a genuine sweetness behind it, despite her own anguish, that just makes something inside of you crumble to dust.

A sob escapes despite your damnedest attempts to keep it in. 

You don’t want to be a burden. 

Yet before you know it, she’s already come in and hugs you tightly without reservation. You don’t remember how long the two of you bawl your eyes out, but it’s enough that Serval has to reapply both her and your makeup. 

 Every noble wears makeup and she’ll be damned if she lets one of her few closest friends walk around shabby.  

“Hey, hey. I know you’re worried…” she says while gently applying another coat of foundation on your cheeks, “But I’m telling you, my brother would never ever do that to you. Ugh… He’s nothing like that con man. Ugh… I’m so sorry that I even introduced you to that jerk. He just… He didn’t seem like that, you know?” 

She popped her foundation away back into her hidden dress pocket before pulling out some eyeliner to fix the mess under your eyes. 

“Geppie is different. I swear. I’ve never heard him tell a lie in his whole life.” Her motions slow as she remembers the look he gave both of you during the celebration of his promotion. “I… I’m sure he had his reasons for reacting so weird. Maybe he was just really surprised?” 

You smile weakly despite not believing that. 

“You’re probably right,” you fib. 

Damn. You were already exhibiting bad habits from said someone… 

“Don’t worry. We’ll talk to him soon.” 

And just like that, the two of you return to the party though it’s mostly over and done with. Only a few of the major boozehounds stay for the free alcohol while others try some last minute attempts to schmooze with those of higher standing. 

Eventually, Serval learns where Gepard retreated off to in search of some solace. 

“This’ll be great. I’m sure of it,” she says as she pulls you along. 

But with every step, you feel like you’re nearing an execution. The type that can tear the very soul in half while keeping the physical body intact. 

“Stay here,” she whispers to you, leaving you just outside the doors before dramatically shoving them open, “Little bro!” 

You can hear the shifting of his armor along with his footsteps as he turns to face his older sister. 

“Serval…” 

Gepard's voice sounds heavy. No matter how much you rewind it in your head, there’s no mirth in it. 

“Surprised?” she asks as she hugs him suddenly, “Didn’t think I’d miss your big day, did you?”

“...” 

“Gepard?” she asks before leaning back to eye him better.

“You shouldn’t have brought them…” he murmurs but it’s not low enough that you can’t catch it. 

The ground beneath you becomes like thin ice over a frigid lake. Each word he says produces a fresh crack, branching out to assure your inevitable destruction. 

“What? What do you mean? Aren’t you glad to see them? Gepard, you two are dating. Of course, I’d-” Serval then suddenly stops.

You drop your head as you feel an uncomfortable heat rising along your neck and ears. 

Mortification. 

She takes a step back. 

“You didn’t tell them?” she asks but she’s not really asking.

Her tone sounds utterly appalled.  

“I-I was working on it!” 

“Gepard! You said-!”

“I know what I said!” 

You can’t take anymore. 

Removing your shoes, your footfalls become nearly silent as you make a desperate retreat for the nearest open balcony. The freezing air greets you the moment you step out. With a shudder, you make it to the nearest portable heater, switching it on. With time, it glows a gentle orange that reminds you of the Geomarrow where you’re really from… 

The place that you should feel ashamed of… 

A tear escapes you but you quickly wipe it away, refusing to cry any longer. 

Then… in just that moment…

A crazy thought invades your mind.

This is very high up. 

…Anything could happen.

A despairing croak escapes you as you grip onto yourself tightly. 

No, no, no. Not these thoughts. 

Anything but these thoughts!!

It’s like fighting against the blinding cold winds of the Great Freeze. There’s no escape and before you know it, you’re completely lost within its windchill. 

If only you hadn’t left… Being alone and disturbed with far too much alcohol always makes for a tragedy waiting to happen… 

Please… Someone…  I don’t… I don’t want…

And then the improbable happens.

A light flickering in the distance. 

At first, it seems random until you realize it remarkably seems like the code that-

No bloody way. 

‘Hey there, friend.’ 

That’s what it says. 

Your eyes widen. 

No way, no way, no way. 

Quickly, you pull out the pocket mirror Serval had lent you. Well, given you, but it was way too expensive to keep on your person. You would sneak it back into the untouched mounds within her workshop later. 

For now, you pop it open and use the mirror to reflect the light to message back. 

‘Friend or foe?’

You wait with great anticipation for the next reply. At first, you think it might not come, but it does.

‘Friend?’

A desperate laugh escapes you as you can tell right away who this is. 

‘Idiot.’

He doesn’t miss a beat. 

‘Your idiot.’ 

You frown. 

‘Not mine.’ You correct firmly. 

Then nothing. A part of you gets tense. 

Did you ruin it? If so, then was it for the best? 

But those thoughts vanish when you finally see the light flash again. 

‘Are you okay?’  

Now it was your turn to give pause. Were you okay? 

Your hands trembled around the mirrors as fresh tears fell. This was a pivotal moment. You could feel it. 

The air felt like it had been sealed in an invisible vacuum. Static silently building within…  

You look toward where you came from.

Neither Landau has come for you… 

Too busy bickering, no doubt. 

You lightly bite down on your tongue to try and stop the tears but it’s futile. 

‘Not okay.’

The next response is so quick that you nearly miss it.

‘SOS?’

You tense. 

Your next response will be huge for what happens next… 

‘SOS?’ He asks again. “...” 

No. The pain is too much. You want out. 

‘SOS.’ 

You wait a few minutes there for a response or anything… but there’s nothing. Your shoulders drop with regret at showing even a hint of your vulnerability to an ex of all people. He probably just found your pain entertaining. Maybe he was taking pictures on his phone right now.

Well, might as well give him the best shot. 

You weep quietly from where you lean against the railing… only to feel a sudden rumble from the west side of the manor. It… felt like the kind of shockwaves a bomb gives. 

Did he just-?! 

The clanking of metallic armor stomping down the halls fills your ears as commands are shouted at length. You debate leaving the balcony but now you’re scared. What if you’ve been lured into a trap? What if you’ll be made the scapegoat? What if-

“Hey there.” 

You turn to see the dual dagger-wielding rogue lifting himself with ease over the railing. You were at least three stories high… Had he really just scaled all of that on his own? 

Those enchanting green eyes capture you in an instant as they seem equally mesmerized to see you again. A relieved smile spreads across his face as he tilts his head. 

“Heard you wanted a swift exit?” 

AN: *sipping on Bicardi* Wow. I did not expect to write this… Thank you magic bat. 

For those of you that made it this far, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! 

This could continue but we'll see. Love Triangles are pretty fun though, eh?

[valyrfia]

RE: this ask

Sorry about to go off on one, gender studies and online fan culture from an academic standpoint is a special interest of mine because being film and literature student wasn't annoying enough (participatory culture studies my beloved) 

From a general standpoint, I think the reason M/M ships in fiction have always been more popular is because male characters are historically more developed and complex. I think it’s only in recent years have their been an influx of popular F/F ships, with the added development of women on screen (e.g Clarke and Lexa, Kara and Lena, Regina and Emma, Nancy and Robin) - I think there is also a point to be made this has coincided with gender expression, genderqueerness and more general knowledge of being outside the typical gender spectrum. 

I can’t explicitly say that being in M/M fandom spaces encouraged my personal discovery of being transmasc but it certainly helped to have an avenue where I could project onto these “male” characters and see myself in them. I was so uncomfortable in my own body and what I didn’t know at the time as dysphoria, I can see why I didn’t go for F/F ships. 

There are of course a lot of “fandom elders” but young (early to late teens) afab people do make up a large bulk of it and I get why  it may be easier for them to fixate on M/M ships as a, sort of method of exploring their own sexuality and gender expression. F/F ships may hit too close to home and F/M ships are what they are trying to escape from so it leaves M/M ships to project onto. Which, unfortunately then can become warped by the persons own comphet and/or binary ideas about gender. 

A male character may have more stereotypically “feminine” traits (in terms of interests or emotional reactions) and I can see why people who also have those traits would project there own insecurities onto them, reinforcing the feminisation of the male character but not being comfortable enough in your own gender expression to genderbend the character or write them as trans. 

It’s the same reason I think mafia romance, dark romance etc etc is so popular with cishet women because they can read about a fantasy where instead of the very real every day misogyny and violence they face leading to abuse, assault and death, it brings “positives” ; protected, loved, a happy relationship. 

Which, side note. I think this has A Lot to do with y/n, self insert fics becoming “cringe”. Because, I think a lot of people just want to fuck/date a character and feel like they can’t write a self insert anymore, so just project massively onto one character, leading to a lot of these issues. I don’t think Tony Stark/Peter Parker would be as popular as it is if people just let young women write their self insert fic about being Tony Stark’s sugar baby and then we wouldn’t have the wildly mischaracterised version of Peter Parker that we do! 

But, all this being said. I’m talking about fiction. Dean Winchester isn’t actually affected if people online only talk about him in a stereotypically “female” way. 

RPF is a different kettle of fish (and I’m not going in RPF ethics that’s different - I have no issues with rpf creators/consumers to be clear, I am one) because a real person does become affected. Even if you are keeping your fan works and discussions to private spaces, it can leach over into how you speak about the actual person. That’s where it becomes so incredibly important to remember that your RPF version of celebrities are just as fictional as Dean Winchester is. 

sorry I used mr. supernatural as an example, 13 year old me is still alive and kicking in my head somewhere. 

I love to hear your perspective on it with a trans worldview (and academic credentials), and I do agree that that might be a big driver of some young people only wanting to engage with MLM fic and feeling uncomfortable with WLW fic. You've brought up so many great points so I'll try and address them all.

I can add the perspective of a lesbian who was closeted for the first two decades of my life, came out less than five years ago, and still struggles on and off with comphet now. MLM fics in my teens were a way to consume queer content and relationships without having to think about the implications of enjoying consuming WLW content, and I think that's true for a lot of young closeted teens so it's no surprise that some comphet/hetnorm/cisnorm stuff bleeds through there because it's a framework the authors haven't managed to detach themselves from yet.

But yeah, I agree the issue lies with people wanting characters to be self-inserts partially so that they can experience sex, sexuality, and romance without any of the hang ups of thinking about patriarchy. And I agree with your solution: make y/n fics cool again! The ability we have to hallucinate while we read is magic! You can put YOURSELF in as a character's love interest, how cool is that?

Ultimately, yeah. There's nothing wrong with RPF as long as it isn't actually affecting the person that the RPF is based off, but I've seen a lot of takes escaping containment so to say (ie. leaving this website) with takes about the actual racers so obviously picked up through RPF. The main culprits are Charles, Lando, Max in my experience.

[loving-b3ar]

Someone anyone help me

I've been wondering if I'm on the aroace spec for a little while now but everytime I think I figure it out something about that sexuality doesn't fit how I feel and I have to start over again.

Ive known I was asexual or probably one the ace spec for a while, I would never have expected I would come to think I might be on the aromantic spec or both.

This whole fiasco started when I realized a lot of the characters I kin/find relatable generally have no feelings for explicit- ness or romance, or are confirmed aroace/majority hc aroace.

I started to think, starting with the ace half because it's simple, I don't have any desire to have sexual intercourse or anything like that with another person. Masturbation, reading NSFW, or thinking or imagining that with a fictional character is common for me, but if it were a real person or a fictional character were to come to life and try that, I'd immediately get the ick. I find it weird though because I'm very blunt with my sexual thoughts and make sexual jokes to friends a lot but can't even begin if I were put into a situation on able to do explicit stuff with another person IRL

Aromantic on another hand is different and much more complex. A lot of my crushes (or thought to be crushes) recently seemed to actually just be jealousy, gender envy and wanting to fit in. But I can't handle the thought of being

alone. I love romance and romantic

gestures (even though most of the time I get really tensed up with gifts, compliments and touches and usually hope that the gestures are quick so we can get past it, but kisses seem to be the only gesture I don't freeze up on, aslong as they're quick peck on the lips, no more- and some compliments are nice and make me happy, but not all.) but I realize now I never really had a desire for a relationship, I still fall for people but the crushes usually pass by quickly and I don't usually wanna pursue a relationship with someone. I thought about how I felt romantically for fictional characters and agreed they were romantically attractive, and liking them didn't make me feel weird. I'd constantly make ocs, self insert, even use a digital/drawing version of myself to ship with the characters, I eventually found out about fictiosexuality, and thought I'd be ficto aroace, until I saw somewhere how if a fictional character were to come to life, an aromantic wouldn't like them like that anymore, and I didn't feel that way, for me, I felt if a fictional character I liked were to come to life, I'd try to pursue a relationship with them, but if it's an irl person, I wouldn't, but I don't get or understand why, that fictional character coming to life, would mean they are real.

So why can't I have a desire to pursue a relationship with real people if I could with fictional character coming to life.

All I know is that I don't have any sexual desires to pursue with someone (unless it's sexual fantasies or it's singular) and I don't wanna pursue a romantic relationship (unless it were to be with a fictional character)

I dont really wanna have a talk more about how I feel and why but I'd appreciate if someone could suggest a few labels/flags for me to research!!

Sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense, it was pasted from notes. And sorry if this isn’t the place to ask, I also posted this on reddit!!

[beep3]

So spoilers for X-Men #30 ahead

Talon died as she lived, doing pretty much nothing other than existing to serve Synch’s development as a character.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m almost happy she’s gone, I hated Talon and pretty much everything she stood for. From the very beginning the idea of splitting Laura into two characters is just dumb. The only reasoning I can identify is that Marvel wanted to satisfy the fans that wanted Laura to stay as Wolverine and keep her character development from years of comics, and the ‘fans’ that insist she should go back to being X-23, both in title and personality.

Which of course is inherently dumb, anyone who wants Laura to go back to using that name clearly doesn’t understand the character in the slightest, and probably hasn’t read many of her comics either. It’s beyond easy to say that she would *despise* having to go by X-23 again, it goes against pretty much every aspect of her character arc, anyone who insists she should return to being X-23 almost definitely doesn’t actually care about Laura’s personality or character, they just don’t want her to have the Wolverine mantle, feel free to fill in the blanks for why that is. Although I’m sure they’ll insist they wouldn’t mind if she went by another mantle instead, like talon.

Regardless, Talon always felt like a low-effort way of making Laura act like she did as X-23 again, with the added effect of tying her entirely to a random relationship of one-sided character development.

So I can’t say I’m too choked up that Talon died, but the realisation that this is the ‘original’ Laura Kinney that we watched escape the Facility, make human connections for the first time, progress and learn to be more than a weapon, to learn that she’s a real person who is valued and loved, the character we saw grow for over twenty years of comics in such an insanely well-executed character arc, the idea that *this* is how she died, doing nothing other than serving Synch’s development is just outright sickening. Or at least it is to me, someone who is way too invested in a fictional comic character for their own good lmao.

Not enough people talk about how random their relationship is, Laura and Everett interacted maybe *once* in their entire publication histories before the Vault, and randomly over one issue they end up in a relationship, no setup, no real interaction, they just apparently decided to start dating because they were trapped in the vault for hundreds of years?

I’ve always believed Laura was queer, Craig Kyle has stated a desire to write a story about it, Marjorie Liu even supposedly intended it in Laura’s solo series, I don’t mind if she’s bi, a lesbian, trans, etc, but even outside of a queer relationship there were *countless* other characters Laura has formed bonds with over the years that would of made more sense than just randomly deciding to have her date a completely random character out of nowhere.

Of course this isn’t the first time it’s happened, Laura has a weird history of romance that pretty much constantly caused that to happen. Angel did the same, and even practically abused Laura, mocking her for cutting herself, and generally mistreating her throughout their relationship.

Throughout New X-Men her relationship was pretty similar, focusing a lot more on Julian’s/Hellion’s development more than her own, of course in Marjorie Liu’s X-23 series the tables got turned and the inverse happened, so I guess that evens things out?

Regardless, the relationship with Synch feels especially creepy, trapping Laura in a vault for years and basically forcing a relationship is dodgy enough, but the way it’s phrased in this panel is just even creepier.

Is there really a message to take from all of this? Not one that I can find. Maybe that Laura just has bad luck with the number 30? Pretty sure All-New X-Men #30 is when Laura’s creepy relationship with Angel started. It’s interesting that Talon or Wolvie-Laura didn’t die like how she was foreshadowed to in the Infinity Comics.

I guess the real potential message you can take is that Talon isn’t *really* dead? My best guess is that they’re going to telepathically fuse both Laura’s together again, which I guess is the best case scenario, I can only hope the Synch relationship doesn’t follow…

[thranduel]

if mike and el stay together and byler isn’t endgame, the writers would be sending the most awful message.

firstly, a little girl escapes a lab she grew up in after being abused and traumatised, and starts dating the first person that shows her kindness after spending less than a week with him?? really? she gets kissed when she's 12 years old after a few days of knowing him when she can’t communicate at the same level as the other characters (there’s a line where lucas says mike’s 3 year old sister talks more and this was included to prove that el was definitely NOT ready to be shoved into a relationship) and she doesn’t even understand the concept of romance at all. she doesn’t even know who she is as an individual person (her likes, her dislikes, her fashion sense, her type when it comes to crushes, her favourite foods, how the world outside the lab works, literally nothing about herself at all) and she doesn't even know the meaning of the word "friend" and has to be taught what it means. yet she still gets forced into a romantic relationship with someone she didn’t even have time to develop a friendship with first while still basically being strangers? HOW is that healthy? how are people seriously okay with that?! (and before anyone starts, i’m NOT saying that she couldn’t eventually get into a relationship. of course she could. but it happened WAY too quickly when she wasn’t ready at all and people need to acknowledge this).

secondly, another abused and traumatised child is gay and in love with his best friend, and they’ve made him suffer the entire show while thinking he’ll never be loved back?? even when all the other kids were happy in season 3 and getting into romantic relationships, will didn’t have that. he got absolutely nothing, except being excluded and shoved to the side. what kind of message are they sending to only do this to the main gay character? why do all the other kids get to be happy and experience love? especially after how they included homophobic slurs in season 1 about will, it would be absolutely disgusting to leave him with unrequited love. gay people go through enough pain and suffering in real life, so why would anyone want to be reminded of that while watching a fictional show with a character that they relate to and find comfort in? shawn levy said their show is an anthem for the marginalised. how is making the gay kid suffer sending a good message for those who are outcasted and oppressed in society? it’s just hurting people. it’s making them think they’ll never find happiness and it’s also allowing the homophobes to win. it goes against everything this show has fought for and why it was created in the first place.

another thing that’s absolutely ridiculous is the massive difference between mike’s relationship with el vs his relationship with will. mike and el’s relationship lacks trust, honesty, communication and understanding, while mike and will’s relationship has all of those things and more. what kind of message are they sending if they keep mike and el together but keep mike and will apart? why are they telling people that it’s okay to stay in a relationship with extreme emotional attachment and codependency due to shared trauma when you don’t even feel like an equal to your partner? mike and el literally admitted they don’t feel like equals. they’re both insecure in this relationship and they feel inferior to each other. they’ve made each other feel like shit in every season (except s2 since they didn’t even see each other until the end). how is it okay to tell people to stay in a relationship like this?

and finally, why would the writers think it’s okay to use will as a plot device to force mike and el back together while he continues to suffer? mike is will’s best friend. he’s his safe place and the boy he loves most. and yet the writers have made will sit back and watch him with someone else while he suffers alone. they literally put him in almost every mike and el scene in season 4 just to rub it in even more. then they had the audacity to turn a very personal and meaningful scene that was supposed to be about mike and will ONLY and made it about el, because of course they did. it’s like mike and will can’t have anything for themselves anymore. will’s painting and his feelings for mike were something extremely personal and they made it about el in order to mislead mike and push him into telling her he loves her. it’s messed up on so many levels and i don’t understand how anyone thinks it’s okay.

[cto10121]

How Romance in Fiction Works

For this Valentine’s Day I dedicate this to all the “Romeo and Juliet/Twilight/[insert X] isn’t a romance!!1!1” clownery out there, because now I have to contend with the depressing fact that people—and not just illiterate randos, actual bookish people perhaps too used to the Hero’s Journey template—have no clue what romance in fiction (as the main plot) works. And no, it has nothing to do with ~fantasy or ~wish fulfillment or ~everyone is nice and in love and nobody’s mean or cheats ever!!!1!1 It has to do with the goals of a romance. I’ll be focusing largely on literature, but technically this can also apply to TV, movies, and other dramatic mediums.

(Disclaimer: I will not be talking about romance as a genre, either the knight/damsel tradition or the HEA conventions of modern American romance fiction. The former has nothing to do with romantic love and the latter has nothing to do with the art of fiction but what sells, so don’t @me. It should also go without saying that I won’t be talking about romance as a subplot to the main plot. You lot already know too much about that already.)

Romance IRL vs. Fiction

So romance in real life can be literally anything and occur anywhere and at any time. No duh. That is true for *waves hand vaguely* everything in reality. Fiction, however, is a different story. It must, in short, make sense. There is plot, character, tone, as well as your literary techniques and devices. Otherwise the romance will not work or be implausible. So far, the same as most any other fiction.

Where romance differs from most fiction, however, lies in its purpose. I like it to call it The Romance Novel Paradox. To whit: Romance in fiction functions on the premise that the couple cannot be together because of X reasons. As soon as the couple resolve all of their issues and be together fully, that’s when the romantic story is over.

Thus, the task of the romance writer is to prevent the couple from getting together before the point where they absolutely need to be. So in a way, writing a romance…is fundamentally writing an anti-romance.

Sounds crazy and weird and hard? It is. That’s exactly why writing romance is so hard in the first place. You have to juggle these two separate and opposite tensions tugging and tearing at the work. You literally have to do two things at the same time along with all the other things required of writing a romance.

The Goals

So with all this in mind, the goals of the romance is as follows:

That the couple meet and fall in love

That the couple enjoy and even consummate their love

That the couple overcome any obstacles that threaten their relationship

That the couple be successful in being true to their love and the first 3 goals.

The Plot(s)

Romances actually have two kinds of plot. I’ll just call them the Courtship Plot and the Love Story Plot respectfully.

The Courtship Plot essentially deals with the inner conflicts/obstacles that prevent the couple from being in love or falling for each other. This could be as short as a scene or two or as long as a whole book/movie/TV show, depending on the medium and intentions.

Beginning/Set Up: Establishes both the world, its stakes, and/or the romantic couple. Oftentimes, though, a romance does start with a different character(s) entirely who talk about the couple before they appear.

Inciting Incident: This is when the couple first meet. This could range anywhere from love at first sight (instalove) to absolute abhorrence (rivals/enemies to lovers).

Courtship/Investigation: Even if the couple does do instalove, they must first get an understanding of each other’s intentions, the depth of love/attraction, personality, etc. This time also includes Proofs of Love, in which the lovers each provide proof of their love for each other through words, acts of service, etc.

Internal Conflicts/Obstacles: These relate to the couple’s inner conflicts/hangups that prevent them from entering a relationship and what they must do to overcome those. In this type of plot they will mostly be internal but there can be some external obstacles as well.

Separation of the Lovers: Most often because of misunderstandings/internal hangups, but it can also be because of actual external shit beyond their control.

Resolution: These inner conflicts are resolved and the couple can get together properly. Traditionally this is shown through marriage (Cheers, bells, and Hymen the God of Marriage arrives to officiate your wedding. Congrats!). Or simply living together/dating.

This is more or less the plot of a romantic comedy, but this can be the plot of romantic drama as well, especially if those internal conflicts are truly heavy. There may also be some external conflict happening, but it’s usually not as significant as the internal ones.

The Love Plot, or Love Story, is concerned with the the love/relationship of a couple as well. However, it is less focused on the courtship side and more on the external conflicts/obstacles that threaten their love. To whit:

Courtship (Abridged): Some Love Plots may include this, but it is not strictly necessary. If they, it’s mostly in abridged form, quick montage, small flashback, or simply just as Proofs of Love.

Couple Is In Love (Status Quo): Most Love Plots begin with the lovers already together and in love.

External Conflicts/Obstacles: These include anything that prevents the lovers from getting together or keeps them apart. Family doesn’t approve, society doesn’t approve, natural events occur, personal enemies, other love interests, etc. Sometimes the couple has an internal conflict going on, but mostly not for this

Separation of the Lovers: Almost always temporarily and literally, due to above External Conflicts and, on occasion, Internal Conflicts. Very rarely metaphorically.

The Lovers Reunite: Almost always, although some media may skip this part.

Couple Triumphs (Or Not): The couple succeeds in vanquishing all obstacles and they come out stronger than ever, yay! Or they don’t and they die and/or their love dies, oh no! Yes, the latter is definitely an option and actually not an uncommon one with these plots.

The Love Story Plot does have its downside in that it can be harder for the audience to care very much for the couple if they haven’t spent at least some time getting to know them and their love. However, it is preferred traditionally if just because of the dramatic and much-clearer stakes involved. The lovers’ characters are also revealed/developed through adversity, which is always a plus.

So all romances are effectively love stories. However, not all romances are love stories. Most romances tend to have both, mostly in one or two books. In Epic Romance this is stretched to three or four at the most. Beyond four the book/TV show/thing turns from a romance into a full-blown soap opera (coughOutlandercough).

So here are a few examples of romances often classified as such and why they count as romances. I’ll start with two works people most insist are not romances: Romeo and Juliet and Twilight.

Example 1: Romeo and Juliet

Though tons of Internet clowns insist to this day that Romeo and Juliet is not a romance and is a comedy/satire/what have you, it skews closely to the Romance plot as outlined.

Romeo and Juliet:

Courtship Plot: Two families in a patriarchal, violent, and conservative society hate each other (Beginning/Set Up). They meet at a ball and fall in love (Inciting Incident). But of course they are heirs of two feuding families (Obstacle 1). However, Juliet is worried that Romeo is just playing with her (Internal Conflict) while Romeo is worried Juliet might choose to refuse him after all (Internal Conflict). As proof Juliet asks Romeo to arrange for their marriage and Romeo agrees right away (Resolution). Romeo pretends he is over Rosaline with Mercutio and Benvolio and meets with the Nurse to arrange the marriage (Proof of Love). They then get married and renew their commitment to each other (Couple Triumphs).

Love Story: This is the latter half of the play. Tybalt kills Mercutio, so Romeo kills Tybalt and gets banished (Obstacle 2), Juliet forgives him (Proof of Love), they make love (Proof of Love), and say goodbye to each other (Separation of the Lovers). Juliet is then forced to marry Paris by her parents (Obstacle 3) and so with the help of the Friar she fakes her death (Resolution). But Romeo doesn’t get the news in time due to plague (Obstacle 4), and so goes to her tomb and kills himself; Juliet wakes up and does the same (Couple Defeated…Triumphs?).

So obviously Romeo and Juliet is a love story in just plot alone. But is it also a romance? As you can see, they end up dead and do not succeed in having a full relationship.

That said. Romeo and Juliet do succeed in keeping their love for each other true and pure. They do not cheat each other, think about cheating on each other, or decide not to pursue their relationship. And that, I feel, is more important than the fact that they could not be together in life. So yes, I do think theirs is a romance too, and why most people consider it to be one.

Example 2: Twilight

Speaking of another work that gets a lot of hate for no good reason, Twilight! And of course you have the antis insist this isn’t a romance either. Unfortunately for them the plot hews even more closer to the romance plot and even has more of a Courtship Arc. To whit:

Twilight:

Courtship Plot: Bella goes to Forks to please her narcissistic mother and worries about fitting in (Beginning/Set Up). She meets Edward on the first day of her new school (Inciting Incident). Unfortunately Edward wants to eat her (Obstacle 1) and leaves for three days later. They meet again and talk about each other (Courtship). Edward then saves Bella from the van the next day (Obstacle 2). This, however, does not bring them together and they don’t speak for one month until Edward gets jealous of Mike Newton (Obstacle 3). Edward and Bella become tentative friends and Edward takes Bella to the nurse’s office when she gets dizzy smelling blood (Obstacle 4). He insists on driving her home and they talk (Courtship). Bella and Edward spend the weekend apart but still thinking about each other; Bella learns what he is (Courtship). Bella then goes to Port Angeles with friends and Edward rescues her from rapists (Obstacle 4). They then talk (Courtship) and Edward admits he is a vampire. The next day Bella and Edward go public about their situation (Courtship) and they talk at lunch, clarifying their feelings for each other; Edward invites Bella to the meadow on the weekend. Billy Black learns of their relationship and tries to warn Bella (Obstacle 5). Edward and Bella meet in the meadow and confess their love for each other (Courtship). Edward successfully resists his bloodlust all for his love for Bella (Resolution of Obstacle 1).

Love Story: This is basically the latter half of Twilight and the rest of the series. Edward saves Bella from James (Obstacle 1) and the lovers are together again (Lovers Triumph).

New Moon:

Love Story: Bella and Edward are in love (Status Quo), but then Jasper tries to eat her and Edward’s self-loathing and desire for Bella to have a regular human life kicks in (Obstacle 2). Edward lies to Bella and tells her he doesn’t want to be with her and she accepts it (Separation of the Couple). For six months the two are barely functional. Eventually Bella’s need for adrenaline leads her to a friendship with Jacob (Obstacle 3–yes, this counts) and starts to love him despite herself. Laurent arrives and tries to eat Bella (Obstacle 4) and tells her that Victoria is out there trying to hunt her as revenge (Obstacle 5). But then Alice comes and Jacob unintentionally tells Edward that Bella is dead; Edward decides to commit suicide (Obstacle 6). Bella saves Edward from the Volturi (Obstacle 7) and they are reunited (Reunion of the Lovers).

Eclipse:

Love Story: Bella and Edward are in love (Status Quo), but Bella wants to keep her friendship with Jacob (Obstacle 3). Jacob is also opposed to Bella being with Edward for both ethical and personal reasons (Obstacle 3 again). Victoria is still hunting Bella but now she is making a whole new army (Obstacle 5 again). Bella realizes she loves Jacob in a potential-love-interest-way (Obstacle 3) but still chooses Edward (Resolution). The lovers decide to get marries (Couple Triumphs).

Breaking Dawn:

Bella and Edward get married (Status Quo). Bella and Edward make love, leaving Bella happy but bruised, which pains Edward so much he refuses to make love to her again (Obstacle 1). Bella seduces him successfully (Resolution) but then falls pregnant (Obstacle 2). The pregnancy is high risk, causing dissension between the two (Obstacle 3) but Bella convinces Edward to go along with her plan (Resolution). Bella delivers her baby and turns into a vampire (Resolution). She learns the ropes of vampirism (Obstacle 4) and harbors no romantic feelings for Jacob anymore; Jacob imprinted on Renesmee so he has no more love for Bella (Resolution). Irina finds out about Renesmee and think she is an immortal child, and tells the Volturi (Obstacle 5). This leads the Cullens to call their friends and prepare for any eventuality, and Bella learns to use her power (Obstacle 6). The Volturi come and try various excuses to execute the Cullens (Obstacle 7) but they are able to defend themselves aptly. The Volturi leave and Bella and Edward can finally be together with their little family (Couple Triumphs).

As you can see, a lot of Twilight's Obstacles double as Proofs of Love what with Edward and Bella saving each other constantly. That is perfectly acceptable and in fact a very common doubling in romance.

What Is Not A Romance?

Romances do have to have some provisos, a couple of quid pro quos. Again, though, there are some exceptions and writers can and will break the rules successfully.

They must be requited. Unrequited love on either side does not a main romance plot make. Unrequited love is mostly a romance subplot if that or as part of a love triangle.

They cannot be abusive (to each other). The lovers of a romance do not have to be good people at all. In fact, they (yes, it has to be both) can be bad or villainous…to other people. That said, their love must be actually mutual and good for each other, even redemptive. A couple who is bad for the world and each other defeats the point of a romance. Mutual enmity does not count (see: Enemies to Lovers).

Their love must be main plot. If the couple is not the focus of the plot, then it’s not a romance but a romance subplot. Subplots can be as complete or incomplete as they like, developed or underdeveloped, but they are subplots for a reason.

Can a romance focus on a beta couple as well? Generally no. In American romance novels, authors do set up the couple for the next installment, but that is not quite the same as page time and development. Romances focus on one couple at a time—once that couple’s love story is done, writers can move on to another couple’s romance. Stories that have more than one couple tend to be something else entirely.

What about second chance romance? Second chance romance is essentially the same as the Courtship Plot, since the work very rarely talks about the lovers’ relationship before they separated. So in plotwise it’s basically just like meeting each other for the first time.

What about love triangles? Unless Character C is framed as an obstacle in the overarching narrative, then love triangles do not really count; they are more for coming-of-age or slice-of-life fodder. Polyamorous couples, however, should count in theory if their story has the romance plot. But of course, that is the rarest kind of all.

Keep Calm and Love On

There are some unconventional romances out there, for sure. But they are ultimately rare; the standard romance plot should fit most works accepted as such. As always, romantic tropes and dynamics are neither good or bad—they all largely depend on the the execution.

The only plot that may be confusable with the romance is the marriage plot, which is something different. Marriage Plots are essentially comedies of manners and they may or may not include romantic love or attraction as a major plot element. They are less about the couple’s erotic compatibility and more about their social compatibility. Austen’s works come the readiest to mind; a contemporary example would probably be Crazy Rich Asians. Otherwise Marriage Plots have much of the same beats as a romance.

So if you’re not sure if X is a romance, see how it fits within this plot. Nine times out of ten, you should get your answer.

[sleepychailatte-blog]

When I was in school, there seem to be a camp of two types of girls when it came to literary choices. You had the Twilight/vampire romance girlies and the Hunger Games/dystopian gals, and you would have thought these two groups were the two families from Romeo and Juliet. Yours truly was part of the Hunger Games camp, and middle-school me was obsessed. I’m talking book and movie premieres, Team Peeta shirts from Hot Topic, wearing a mocking jay pin publicly, the whole gambit. God forbid if you read Twilight, that poorly written, low-brow, dumb, vampire romance. We were the readers of dystopian fiction, which was superior because it made you FEEL things about capitalism, broken societies, being true to yourself, etc. etc. etc.

It’s been over a decade since 2008. To all my Twilight girlies, I would like to offer you my most sincere apologies. I should not have judged you so harshly.

Recently I watched Twilight for the very first time as an adult. A friend of mine came over for a painting/movie night, and Twilight was our featured film. I knew the memes, I knew roughly what the plot was, but I wasn’t ready for the experience that was to come.

So without further ado, I’d like to offer my thoughts and review on the 2008 masterpiece, Twilight. If you aren’t familiar with the Twilight story, go read a quick synopsis and then come back.

🌘So, did you like it?

I had an absolute blast watching this movie. Would I say it’s a good movie? Probably not. Did it age well? Nope. But it was delightfully cringey, as you had to suspend all believe of realism. You couldn’t take this movie too seriously, because this movie took ITSELF way too seriously. It’s like they cranked the drama/teen angst meter up to 100 and everything seems so life-or-death…even though the main characters, Bella and Edward, are 17 year old juniors (ok so Edward actually isn’t 17 because he’s an old vampire but you get what I’m saying). It was very much that kind of relationship where “they can’t even bear to be apart or they will DIE” oh no how tragic (I think we now call that co-dependency).

When I was 17, I sure as heck didn’t know what love was. But again, this story is based in absolute fantasy, not realism, and that’s the fun part. Oh to be swept off your feet by a mysterious, handsome, brooding vampire that you met in your biology class!

🌓Favorite part of the film?

The script for this movie is pretty bad, I’m not gonna lie, and that’s part of the charm. It’s so bad, that it’s kinda good. Here’s some of my favorite quotes:

“You better hold on tight, spider monkey." -Edward to Bella because he can jump really high and run really fast. I about peed my pants from laughing when Edward said this.

“This is the skin of a killer, Bella." -Edward to Bella because vampire skin *literally sparkles* in direct sunlight. Again, almost peed my pants.

I will say that I love Edward’s family, the Cullens, as a whole. This vampire family tries to cook a regular meal for Bella, Edward’s human girlfriend, and oh my heart. Vampires don’t cook because they don’t eat normal food; the Cullen family had never used the kitchen in their house. The fact that they would go out of their way and attempt to do something so foreign to them in order to make the human girlfriend feel comfortable? Um, wow that’s actually really sweet.

Also, shout out to Bella‘s dad, Charlie for actually trying to connect with his daughter. Bella and Charlie have a bit of an awkward and tense relationship but this doesn’t stop Charlie from trying to be a good dad. I will say that one of my other favorite scenes was when Bella asked her dad if he wanted to meet her boyfriend Edward… while he was cleaning his shotgun. When he said, “sure, send (your boyfriend) in” and loudly snapped his shotgun shut, I about lost it. What a dad move! A national treasure.

🌒Would you watch it again?

Under the right circumstances. I would need either anesthesia or a large sangria. If I ever showed this film to my children, it would be for a study of what not to do in a relationship. If your significant other says “I can’t live without you” when you’re 17…that’s some big creepy co-decency energy.

🌑Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Um Team Charlie all the way. Hands down the best and most sane character in this whole film. We love to see a dad do his best and love his daughter…even when she starts dating a super weird pale dude.

🌘Conclusion

Watching this film made me think about guilty pleasures. We all have them, and they all look different at unique stages of our life. One of my favorite guilty pleasures is watching Judge Judy. My 70 year-old grandmother used to watch the Bachelor. For a friend of mine, it’s those cheesy Hallmark Channel movies. Others enjoy vampire romance novels. Are these things high-quality and sophisticated? No. Are they of good taste? Meh. But they are meant to be enjoyed, and that’s the whole point.

Twilight is the same way. Is it good? Not really. But that doesn’t matter, because it’s a cringey/angsty teen fantasy that’s meant to be enjoyed.

You can be both a Twilight girlie and a Hunger Games gal, and still have a pretty darn good time 🖤

[weiner-enjoyer]

welcome to my ted talk.

this is a post about romances that are written and viewed through the lense of a partner being a deity. mostly talking about fictional characters. this is also me being an anthropology nerd

the earliest example of this that i can think of is greek mythology. as is with most things. in greek mythology, there are likely hundreds of examples of gods courting animals and humans alike, though not always consensually. for the purpose of this post i’ll only be looking at the consensual ones. specifically, we can use the example of ariadne and dionysus.

ariadne and dionysus have one of those princess-in-a-dungeon love stories. king minos, a scary bull, put ariadne in a labyrinth, and dionysus saves her because she’s beautiful. to my knowledge, whether or not ariadne loved him isn’t fully explained. the reason i include this example is that it specifically shows a sort of weakness of the gods; love. almost all gods, in almost all mythologies, are capable of love, and it is almost always their downfall.

this idea of love as a downfall is different from what we usually think of with god-complex relationships. usually, one person is so delusional and in love that they view a partner as a god. but in most ancient examples, these stories are told in relation to the god and not the mortal. so why are gods, especially in greek mythology, so attracted to mortals?

there’s an aspect of rebellion to it. gods and humans are meant to be separated, as demonstrated by titanomachy, the war between humans and gods. but after several thousand years, you would get tired of having affairs with your cousins, right?

that brings me to my next conclusion; it’s simply because love happens. even nephthys, the ancient egyptian goddess, is capable of love; she was depicted as lesbian or bisexual in order to function as being unable to have kids. love is a force that not even the gods themselves can escape, though they often find solace in it.

gods who have affairs with humans are typically not well off. take zeus for example. sure, he’s the king of kings, god of gods, but his life is a mess. everyone hates him, including his wife, and he’s kind of a tyrant. but humans view him as mighty as ever, fearing and loving him just as ever. he finds that power he lost in the humans, so he harvests it.

so where do we get the stereotypical yandere god-loving romances? humans in relationships with gods are never treated with dignity, if they get to live in the first place. why is it so desirable?

i think, in some ways, gods sometimes see us above them in the same way we see them above us. lets go back to the idea of gods finding solace in human relationships; you could argue that the gods would be zealous of humans. we have much less to worry about. in the same way, humans honor gods for many reasons, but in the very core of their supernatural being; the fact that they can just generally handle more, be better, be perfect, even.

the yandere god-loving romance, without doing too much research, may just come from that dynamic. that, as humans, we should worship that which is better than us, and maybe we’ll get some kind recognition in return.

i should note that i have done zero research and i just like talking.

thank you for listening to my ted talk.

[best--dress]

This post was prompted by a very thoughtful post, by a gay man, about women who write fanfic (and original fiction) about gay men - I’m not responding on top of his post bc I cannot find it for the life of me, but also because I don't want this in any way to be interpreted as "yes, but". I'm going off on tangents of my own, different directions, talking about my own experiences that aren't necessarily related, and I don't want to take away from his words ~ but I do mention it for context as to where my tangent started.

---

I've noticed a lot of fic writers & artists in the Carry On/Simon Snow fandom are lesbians or bi women (I'm a bi cis woman, and writing this solely from that perspective). [sidenote - is this fandom inherently different because the Simon/Baz pairing is canon? (although for a lot of us, it serves as wish fulfillment for a Harry/Draco pairing)]

The author of the post mentioned above said that women writing m/m slash are engaging in a form of fetishism. I'm not going to argue against this! But I am going to go in a different direction and examine my own experiences -

I'm curious about where we see ourselves in Simon/Baz and similar pairings. What am I getting out of this? These words from adrienne marie brown resonate with me here:

are you, or people who look like you, included in your fantasies? (pleasure activism, pg 224)

I can’t remember where I read this - please send me the reference if you know it! - but there's an idea that adolescent girls have such ardent love for boy bands and male idols because loving them is a safe way to live out romantic impulses, without getting hurt. An adolescent girl engaging in a romantic relationship with an adolescent boy introduces a power dynamic - boys hold more power than girls in the real world. An adolescent girl engaging in a one-sided idolization of a male celebrity is (maybe?) engaging in romance with herself.

So this leads me to entertain the idea that writing and generally swooning over fictional m/m relationships is a way for women to explore a different power dynamic, one that isn’t available to them in the real world, a power dynamic in which the subjects have equal power in the realm of gender to each other and MORE power in the realm of gender than women do. (this is super simplified and doesn’t take into account intersectional identities; race disability etc; but hopefully you get the general idea of what i’m saying :)

And then I ALSO question, for me personally, why isn't there a f/f pairing that captures my heart as ardently as Simon/Baz? Outside of the Carry On universe, the one thing that comes to mind is Emily and Sue from apple tv's Dickinson. (I mean, I'm glad at least I came up with something! But they don't have my whole heart the way Simon and Baz do.) I think part of the answer here is internalized homophobia (let's not forget those times the word "lesbian" was used against me as a slur on the playground in middle school).

what do you want to be turned on by? can you even imagine it? (also pleasure activism, pg 224)

&& quick disclaimer that this shouldn't be taken as criticism of anyone. this fandom is superbly kind; I think you're all gorgeous. <3