#this isn’t like hate i just think it’s written badly

[blluespirit]

was going through my drafts and uhhhh she had some points 💅

[twstowo]

Oya oya, i just need angst so... Can I ask for the housewardens that love a gn!reader but the reader don't love them back ? (One-sided love, my beloved)

♡︎Bestie if you want angst, you came to the right person

♡︎Also, I'm separating this into various posts, I hope that's fine.

[Here] ☆ [Azul and Kalim] ☆ [Vil and Idia] ☆ [Malleus]

⋆⋅☆Riddle

Oh, Riddle was so down bad. He tried his best to remain composed when around you, but how could he even do that? As soon as his eyes landed on your figure, he turned into a blushing mess. All he ever wanted was to hold your soft hands, for it to just be the two of you, for him to stare at your face while you smiled softly at him.

He hates to admit it, but he keeps on daydreaming about you. It annoys him so badly since he wants to focus on his studies, but your face keeps showing up in his mind. By that point, he knew that he had to do something about his feelings, he had to confess.

He had planned everything to the last detail, the way that he would confess to you would need to be perfect, and no mistakes could be made. Trey had watched him go through a list of infinite details that he had written down, lose sleep over making a mistake and he even caught Riddle once daydreaming in the middle of his studies. And as his friend, he had to set in and give him a push towards you.

So there he stood, Riddle dressed up, roses in hand, hair brushed back waiting for you to arrive at the place he had told you to come. He had sent you a message to meet him for tea. The two of you would be surrounded by the cute hedgehogs, as he would give you the bouquet with a shy smile, and by mustering all his courage he would look you in the eyes, determination coming back and he would tell you how much he loved you.

“Y/N for the past few days you are the only thing that has ever crossed my mind, I…I love you.”

“I’m sorry…” he hears those words come out of your mouth and he feels his heart stopping, he tries to speak but the words are still repeating inside his head. You were sorry that you didn’t like him back? Even while rejecting him you were being nice. He tries to remain composed even when you try to return the flowers to him he tells you to keep them, they are yours. But it’s not just the flowers that belong to you it’s also his heart, even after you broke it.

He will be a little distant in the next few weeks, but he could never be rude to you. You had every right to not like him back, and he respects that. Even after months have passed, he thinks about you from time to time. He thinks about what things could have been if you had loved him back, and he questions if he will ever get over you, for you made him feel a way that he had never felt before.

⋆⋅☆Leona

Leona would never admit it, but lately, your company has been making him feel weird, and he isn’t dumb to notice what types of feelings are tugging at his heart. He has fallen for you, and hard, even if he would rather never admit it. He tries to remain as uninterested as ever, but how can he do that when you keep bringing him his lunch to the botanical garden, when you lay down next to him and start talking about your day, when you always seem to show up next to him no matter how much he is trying to avoid you?

He gives up trying to run away from you, but his pride is way too big to confess, so he just starts acting as if the two of you were together. He strangely becomes more affectionate, in his ways, and it takes you a while to realize this strange change of behavior. So, as any sane person would, you ask him why he was acting like that.

“I thought it was clear, aren’t we dating?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t like you that way…” he has this bewildered expression. How come you don’t like him that way? You were always so nice and kind to him. Are you like that to everyone? He is so pissed, beyond pissed. Not even Ruggie can deal with his rude ass. He skips more classes, and if he ever spots you, he gets this annoyed expression that scares everyone around him.

He eventually romantically gets over you but even after months, he holds a grudge against you. He really did feel a connection with you, something he had never felt with anyone else. You made him feel as if he could lower his guard down; you made him feel important as if he was your first option. But clearly, he was wrong about you. He was just another person in your life.

[bloatedandalone04]

Dating Anakin Skywalker would include;

Warnings: jealousy, descriptions of smut, smut, fluff, angst, kinks, swearing, more badly written headcanons

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

➪First things first; this man is jealous 99% of the time, let’s be real here.

➪Your relationship is forbidden, so Anakin isn’t able to show you off in all the ways he wants to.

➪All he’s allowed to do is train with you and sometimes is able to get away with pulling your back against his chest as he guides your saber down in a quick slash, but that is really it.

➪It’s nowhere near enough for him, but he puts up with it since he still gets to end most of his days with you in your secret shared room.

➪With that being said, even though he is a very jealous person, he is also very sweet.

➪When he wants to be.

➪But only with you.

➪You are the only person who gets to see his soft side.

➪You train together often since it’s really the only time you get to interact outside of your room, and he shamelessly admitted once that seeing you like that turns him on a lot.

➪Since you are a Jedi yourself, you and Anakin get to go on missions together and protect one another since you don’t really trust anyone else to do it.

➪It also allows for you to be around each other 24/7 without any suspicion being drawn to you.

➪And it usually allows Anakin to be all over you in the privacy of his ship/and or a separate room from the one at the temple.

➪Now....everyone says that he is a massive sub..not me.

➪I don’t buy it.

➪While he’s not a full blown dom (at least not until he turns to the dark side and then later becomes Vader), he’s also not a whiney sub who is just there for you to use.

➪He, of course, cares more about your pleasure than his own, but he also doesn’t act like he’s only a fucktoy for you.

➪Let’s be real, he is a lover, and therefore makes love to you in all the ways that leave you flustered and red in the face.

➪Now, that’s not to say he doesn’t have his full on dom moments.

➪When he gets super jealous, he’ll take you by the hand - and usually doesn’t care who sees, which is something he has to spend time later explaining - and take you back to his room to have his way with you.

➪He’ll say things like, “What were you doing with him, baby? Hm?” or “You think he can make you feel as good as I can? Does he really think that you’d let him?” while he’s railing you into an early grave.

➪With one hand gripping the headboard and the other covering your mouth so you’re not overheard, he is just completely letting out his jealousy and frustration of not being able to show you off like he wants to.

➪That being said, he’s not very quiet himself.

➪He usually has a swollen bottom lip by the time you’re both spent since he had to bite down on it hard to keep himself at least somewhat quiet.

➪His kinks are simple; marking, hair pulling and, you guessed it, choking.

➪He’s very careful with the way marks you, scattering love bites along your shoulders that are always covered by your robes, or on your inner thighs.

➪You’ve been with him for a long time, and saw the departure of his beloved braid, and when he decided to grow out his hair...oh boy.

➪His head had never been more sore.

➪You pull on it every time he takes you to bed, tugging the curls between your fingers with each thrust of his hips.

➪The headache he’d have afterwards was so worth it since he had been a bit nervous that you’d hate the new way he had begun styling his hair, and he was happy he couldn’t have been more wrong.

➪Choking....that should explain itself.

➪But the man loves wrapping his metal fingers gently around your throat, not nearly with enough pressure to block your airways but enough for you to feel it.

➪When he began to turn to the dark side, he definitely applied a bit more pressure, but still not enough to hurt you.

➪After all, you are the reason he lives and breathes, and he would never dream of causing you any type of harm.

➪His names for you are; sweet girl, angel, star and the occasional baby - but he usually saves that one for the bedroom.

➪You two eventually get married in the most lowkey wedding in the history of lowkey weddings, and exchange lightsabers as a way of showing your love.

➪Afterwards he took you away from Coruscant on a special mission - which was really just a fancy name for your honeymoon.

➪While it didn’t last long, Anakin did manage to get you pregnant, and that came with many problems.

➪Hiding it was a challenge, and hiding your son after giving birth was even harder, but you managed to do it for a while until you were able to get your own place in the city, where you and Anakin were able to raise him in peace and privacy.

➪Pick an AU; Anakin never turns to the dark side and gets to experience what it’s like to be a dad, or he does and you give up your son in order to protect him (and to keep him safe from his Sith father).

➪Either way, his love for you never falters and lives on through the memories you share together, whether or not he remains the loyal Jedi he was always meant to be.

[babydollmarauders]

ILLICIT AFFAIRS — QUINN HUGHES

quinn hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n is Quinn’s little secret.

specific lyrics: “what started in beautiful rooms; ends with meetings in parking lots” and “you wanna scream, don't call me ‘kid’, don't call me ‘baby’, look at this godforsaken mess that you made me” and “look at this idiotic fool that you made me” and “for you, i would ruin myself, a million little times”

warnings: cheating, 18+ content in the middle, ANGST!

notes: you will not think highly of the Quinn in this fic. i know i’m supposed to be writing the Speak Now Fic List— bear with me. this was written as a way to get out of my writers block.

i can always stop.

i can.

i have freewill to refuse his advances.

i think.

but the stolen stares, the weight of his body against mine, the feeling that comes with knowing he wants me in the way i’ve longed for him to want me, it’s an addiction.

a drug that i just can’t quit, despite how dirty and used i feel afterwards. despite having to sneak away with my hood up and my head down.

the high of being his, just for a moment, outweighs the inevitable self-criticism in the aftermath.

because that’s the thing about illicit affairs; they make you hate yourself a million little times.

**

i’ve barely just climbed off of him, my back skimming the mattress, before he’s already standing from my bed.

my eyes follow his movements, the fluidity and grace of flowing through steps he’s done a million times before.

his dress shirt buttoned back on, his suit pants following, his tie lazily swung around his neck and his suit jacket pulled over to complete the look.

while i’m tangled in my thin sheet, still recovering, he’s fixing his hair in the mirror above my dresser and letting his own eyes graze his neck for marks. finding none, as i know better than to make myself known on his skin.

never seen, never heard, always secret. no marks, never wear perfume nor lipstick, never leave any trace of existence. a ghost above all else.

his eyes lock with mine in the mirror, catching my longing stare with his indifferent one.

“i’ve gotta go. you watching the game?” he knows the answer, he always knows.

“yeah, Quinny, i’ll be watching.” my cheeks flush. “i always do.”

“good. i’ll try and score a goal for you.” he winks in the reflection, my heartbeat picking up as it does every time. “bye, baby.”

there’s no goodbye kisses, no whispered sweet nothings, just quirked lips and the sound of my bedroom door shutting behind him.

it’s not long until the bliss wears off, leaving me with nothing but self-depreciating thoughts. no one to blame but myself.

he has a girlfriend.

one who isn’t you.

aren’t you ashamed?

aren’t you disgusted with yourself?

don’t you deserve better?

although, maybe not.

my phone buzzes on the nightstand beside me, an incoming call from my best friend, and despite feeling like an idiotic fool and a betrayal of my own morality, i accept the call.

“hey, Lukey!” false cheer drips from my tongue, but just like every other time, i know he won’t know the difference. “to what do i owe the pleasure of your call?”

“hey, y/n/n!” Luke’s chuckle crackles over the speaker of my phone. “i just wanted to talk, i’ve been missing you extra the past few days. i want my movie buddy.”

“i miss you too, Lukey.”

god, if only he knew how badly i’ve fucked up without him to lead me the right way.

“don’t you have Jack now to watch movies with?” i question, shaking off the urge to confess my sins. to ask for his forgiveness and plead for him to talk some sense into my love-riddled mind.

“it’s not the same. he doesn’t pay attention to the little details as well as we do.” i can hear his pout through the phone, making me giggle.

“just one more month, then we’ll have the whole summer to watch as many movies as we want.” i remind him.

“yeah, one more month.” he replies, solemnly. “anyways, UBC is still treating you good, right? no chance you’d wanna transfer to, i don’t know, Rutgers or Princeton?”

i chuckle at his lame attempt at convincing me to leave my dream school.

“i’m sorry, moose; but UBC is still where my heart lies.” oh, if only he knew just what, or rather who, the reason was for that.

“yeah, alright. it was worth a shot.” he sighs. “and Quinny’s taking good care of you, right?”

i my throat closes up and i choke on the air in my lungs.

“what?” i ask him, sitting up in my bed and pulling the sheet closer to my body.

“Quinn.” he repeats. “he promised he’d look after you. has he?”

“oh, yeah. yeah, he’s been checking in on me. making sure i’m okay.” i guess that’s one way to put what we’ve been doing.

“good. i’d have to kill him if he let you get hurt.”

**

my feet have barely touched the ground outside of my car before the lake house door is flung open. my best friend bounds out of the house, his middle brother hot on his trail, attempting to speak to him about something long forgotten by Luke.

“YOU’RE HERE!” Luke’s arms are flung around my waist, hoisting me up in the air and spinning me around.

the melody of my laugh mingles in the air as my arms wrap around his neck.

“Lukey, put me down, i already feel sorta car sick! it was a very long drive.” despite the fact that my words are true, i can’t wipe the smile off my face from being reunited with my best friend.

my feet finally fall flat on the ground as Luke backs up to look at my face, his fingers grazing all over it, more specifically the under eye bags from stress and sleepless nights.

“i thought you said you were doing great? what are these?! they’re new!”

his concern is heartwarming but before i can respond, i notice all the people behind him on the lake house porch. Jack, their friends, and most importantly, Quinn. the real reason for my newly spotted dark circles.

i muster up a chuckle, rolling my eyes.

“they’re designer. they come with the UBC tuition.” i stress, hoping he buys the ‘i’ve just been working myself to the bone with schoolwork’ excuse.

“checks out. you’ve always been my little nerd.” he grins, slinging an arm around my shoulder and turning towards the porch. “aren’t you guys gonna come say hi?”

“didn’t wanna impose on your moment.” Jack jokes, hopping down the porch steps to pull me from Luke’s grasp and into a hug.

“hey, bubby. welcome back.” he smiles, ruffling my hair mid hug. i step on his foot in retaliation, making him push me back so he could check on his white sneakers.

“it’s good to be back, bubba.” i grin as he rolls his eyes.

“hey kid, long time no see.” my head snaps over to look at Quinn, who smirks at me with a knowing look.

we saw each other three days ago, the day before he flew out to Michigan.

“hey, Quinny.” a bashful smile takes over my lips and my heart beats overtime, the natural reaction when i’m in his vicinity.

“no.” Luke speaks, pulling me into his chest protectively. “you don’t get to ‘hi’ her. you got her all year. this is my turn.”

his words make me blush and i pat his chest.

“don’t worry Lukey, this is our time.” i reassure him. “i but i would like to go inside now.”

“yeah, right.” he nods, letting me push away from him. the guys all head back into the house, leaving me to open my trunk and grab my bag.

a strong hand encases mine on the handle of my suitcase, soft lips i know all too well grazing the shell of my ear.

“i hope Luke doesn’t mind sharing.” Quinn leaves me frozen behind him, taking my bag and my breath with him.

beats of time pass before i follow suit, closing my trunk and locking my car before jogging up the porch steps and into the house.

this will be one hell of a summer. literally.

**

“i’m going for a run.”

my words are spoken through Luke’s shut bedroom door, followed by the opening of said door.

“a run?” he asks me, sleep still prominent in his face from his mid-afternoon nap. “since when do you run?”

“i started running when i was in Vancouver. i thought i told you that?” the lie is like a sour candy on my tongue, spit out quickly as though another second of these words in my mouth would make me sick.

“oh, okay. how long will you be gone? i’ll have the movie set up for when you get back.”

“i shouldn’t be too long. like an hour at most.” i tell him, tightening my ponytail.

“you’ll actually probably be all sweaty when you get back. just wake me back up when you get back and i’ll get the movie ready while you shower.”

sweaty and flushed, for sure.

“okay.”

*

“Quinn, please.” my heavy pants turn to pleads, begging Quinn to get me over the edge. his hands hold mine behind my back as i grind my hips against his.

unable to risk being caught at the lake house, our rendezvous settings have downgraded from my bedroom back in vancouver. to the parking lot of a field, only a 15 minute walk from the house.

“you want me to make you come?” his words cause a shiver down my spine, my head nodding at rapid speed. “use your words, baby. say it.”

“i want you to make me come.” i beg. that’s all it takes for him to flip us over, my body laid across his back seat as he thrusts into me, hooking one of my legs over his shoulder.

“fuck, you’re so wet baby. feel so good squeezing my cock.” i clench around him, his dirty whispers echoing in my head as the coil in my stomach tightens. he angles his hips, thrusting up into the spot that makes my eyes roll back.

“right there.” i gasp, my hands coming up to grip his shoulders. i’m careful not to dig my nails into his skin. careful to never leave any sort of marks. his right hand trails down my body, settling on my stomach.

“right there?” he teases, repeating his previous move, all while pushing one hand down on my stomach. my legs shake, and i clench around him one final time before the pressure relieves and i achieve my orgasm.

Quinn thrusts a few more times, riding me through my high and chasing his before his hips stutter and he pulls out, painting my stomach with his release.

the glass windows are fogged, the car hot and reeking of sex, the only sound being our heavy breathing as we gather ourselves again.

my eyes flutter, my energy spent.

“hey, baby.” Quinn’s hand snakes onto my thigh, shaking it slightly. “you should go. Luke is probably waiting for you.”

i nod. i know he’s right, but it still stings, being dismissed so quickly.

i wipe my stomach with a napkin from his glovebox before slipping my biker shorts back on and pulling my tank top back over my head.

“i’ll see you at the house.” he bids me goodbye, as i slip out of his car, starting my walk back to the house.

aren’t you sick of this?

don’t you feel guilty for lying to your best friend?

for betraying him like this?

don’t you think you can do better?

that you deserve better than clandestine meetings?

than being someone’s ‘other woman’?

than being tossed aside the second he’s done with you?

i’m done.

*

“alright, you ready?” Luke asks, plopping down on the couch cushion beside me, a bowl of popcorn clutched in his hand.

“yeah, press play, moose.” Luke is just about to hit play on the netflix movie when the front door swings open. Quinn steps into the house, shutting the door before noticing us on the couch.

“hey.” he gives us a nod, walking towards the stairs. “oh, Olivia is flying in tomorrow morning.”

my heart stops, my muscles tensing.

Olivia.

Quinn’s girlfriend.

the one we’ve been sneaking around for four months.

“oh cool, what time?” Luke is oblivious to my silent panic.

“six a.m, so i’m heading to sleep. night, Luke. night, kid.”

there it is again. that stupid nickname. ‘kid’.

Quinn heads up the stairs and i hear the faint sound of his bedroom door shutting.

my head snaps over to Luke.

“hey, i gotta go get something from my room, i’ll be right back.” i pat his leg before rising from my seat, making my way towards the stairs.

“oh, okay.” he nods, getting on his phone as i walk up the stairs.

i come to a stop outside of Quinn’s door, debating knocking before i decide not to, in order to not raise suspicion from Luke.

i swing the door open, slipping in before quickly shutting it behind me.

Quinn sits on the foot of his bed, head rising from looking at his phone. his brows furrow before he raises one in questioning.

“didn’t get enough of me earlier?” he teases. “aren’t you and Luke watching a movie? i don’t think we can have a quickie right now-”

“we’re done.” his lips snap shut, whether in shock, or disbelief, or just plain speechlessness, i’m not sure. but he’s silent, so i continue. “no more meetings. no more.”

my heart aches in my chest, my throat getting tighter and tears bubble up in my eyes.

i thought it would be easy to stop.

i used to tell myself i could do it whenever i wanted. but now, i know it’s not true.

there was no ‘last time’, only this afternoon. no soft goodbyes. i’ll be stuck seeing him for the rest of my life. he’s a mistake that i became all too comfortable with. with him, i let my morals wash away like a drawing in sand. but i was done hating myself, thinking so low of myself for my forbidden actions.

he chuckles as if i told him a joke, as if i didn’t just tell him we were over. standing from the bed and prowling towards me, his hand raises to cup my cheek.

“what are you talking about, baby?”

it’s always ‘baby’ in secret. ‘kid’ while in company. he makes me feel so stupid, like i’m a child; naive and small.

“don’t call me ‘baby’.” i swat his hand away from my cheek. “and don’t call me ‘kid’, either. do you not know my name?

“do you not know the name of the girl you’ve been fucking in secret for the past four months? that you’ve known since you were ten?”

his nostrils flare, stepping back as though i’ve slapped him.

“i know your name, y/n.” his words drip with venom, his lips press together into a straight line. “they’re just nicknames.”

“they’re cruel.” i spit. “you know what you’re doing. i’ve made myself available to you for too long. i’ve let you use me and throw me to the side as if i’m nothing. i’ve become something i never would’ve imagined i would be-”

“y/n-”

“no! this is my turn to talk. look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. i’m actively lying to my best friend, your brother. i’ve become the ‘other woman’. a title i would’ve smacked myself for, just six months ago. i’ve lost my sense of morality. i’ve become someone that i don’t even recognize; because of you. so, i’m done.

“i will not be your secret anymore. i deserve more. i deserve better than someone who keeps me hidden. who dismisses me mere minutes after using my body.”

tear tracks stain my cheeks, my face feels tighter under the salty liquid and i quickly wipe them away.

“you’re right.” my lips part slightly, my gaze fixating on the man in front of me.

he seems genuine. his eyes glistening with pity and an unrecognizable emotion.

“i’m sorry. you deserve better.” he tells me, nodding his head solemnly.

“i do.” i reply. “and i’ve been rejecting everyone that is interested because i’ve been hoping and praying to any higher power that you would love me the way that i’ve loved you since i was sixteen, but that’s not gonna happen, is it?”

he shakes his head ‘no’ and i can’t even hold it against him, because at least he’s finally being honest with me.

i bite my lower lip, nodding dejectedly and gripping the doorknob behind me.

“for you, i’ve ruined myself a million times.”

i slip out the door, padding back down the stairs and leaving the man i love, and our illicit affairs behind me.

Luke’s head rises when i return, his eyebrow raised and his lips parted, surely ready to question what took me so long. but with one glance at my tear stained face and bloodshot eyes, his mouth closes, his arms opening instead.

i drop onto the couch, burying my face into his neck. his arms wrap around me tightly, one hand holding the back of my head as the other rubs my back.

“i know.” he whispers. “it’s okay. i know.”

his words are mumbled against the shell of my ear and the emotion with which their spoken confirms that he knew what i’d been doing. they only succeed in making me feel even more guilty. all this time, i thought i’d been doing a pretty good job of hiding our meetings this summer, but my best friend is smart, catching on a lot more than i realized.

“i’m so sorry, Lukey.” i sob, my apology muffled by his skin.

“it’s okay. and i promise, it’ll be okay, y/n/n. i’ve got you.”

[farfromstrange]

Weed Cookies | Matt Murdock x F!Reader

PART 3 of The Vault

See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Karen receives a box of cookies from one of their clients. Foggy and Matt take a bite. Even with his heightened senses though, Matt doesn't realize what's wrong with the cookies before he's absolutely wasted, and you have to babysit him. Yes, they were edibles.

Warnings: Fluff, faint hints at S3 depressed!Matt and suicidal ideations, attempt at humor, crack fic, accidental drug use, for the sake of this fic we are going to pretend that the edibles were made well enough for Mister I-Know-Everything to miss it

Word Count: 3.4k

A/n: I wrote this after watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy with the Weed Cookies. I took some behaviorisms from my own experiences and exaggerated them a little to fit the vibe of this fic. I scraped parts of this and once again adjusted them because this was even more poorly written before than it is now, and I added the Nelson, Murdock & Page Season 3 narrative again because that's now the running theme of this event. Anyway, if you choose to consume edibles, stay safe! (Also, I'm just copying and pasting my usual tag lists. if anyone wants to be added for this event, do let me know)

“We just got cookies from Ms. Lebowsky next door,” Karen announces happily when she enters the office, balancing the transparent Tupperware in one hand and her handbag in the other. 

“She told me to thank you for helping her get out of that hellhole,” she says. Her eyes crinkle in the corners as a mischievous grin takes over her face. “There’s plenty for all four of us. Although she did mention Matt a few more times.”

“Ms. Lebowsky?” Foggy asks. He stands in the doorway of his office, holding a freshly brewed coffee. “Isn’t she the elderly lady we helped last week?”

“Yeah, that’s her. I think she has a crush on Matt.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Of course, she does. Who doesn’t? Not that I do, but—well, you get the gist.” The blood rushes to his cheeks, and Karen giggles in response.

From the office on the left, Matt’s voice rings out, “We just did our jobs,” he says. “She made us cookies, dude!” Foggy inspects the box on Karen’s desk. “They’re chocolate chip cookies. Our favorite. See what good looks can buy you?”

Matt chuckles, his fingers tracing the Braille indentations in the documents that are starting to form a mountain before him. “I think we got them because we’re good lawyers, Foggy.”

“Yeah, right. No way! That woman was smitten the second she came in. I really gotta get that blind thing going. I mean, she’s way too old for you, but come on! You’re in a serious committed relationship, and women still come piling at your door. It’s not fair.”

The way he whines like a little kid who has just been denied his favorite candy makes Karen laugh at his antics, and even Matt can’t help but join in. No matter how stressed he is, and how badly he wants to focus, Foggy never fails to lighten the mood.

Ever since moving offices, things have been going well for the trio. 

When Matt met you, he was at his lowest. You helped him climb out of a dark hole that was threatening to swallow him whole after losing Elektra and almost losing everything he worked so hard for to Wilson Fisk. Thanks to you, he found the will to fight again. You brought him back to life.

He wanted to die. He hated himself for the longest time after the building collapsed and forever took the first woman he ever loved down with its ruins, but then you came into his life, and you didn’t care about his baggage. You were far too good for him, but that didn’t matter to you. 

He fell for you hard and fast, and maybe the timing was a little off because what he needed was therapy and not someone new to get attached to. Still, if you hadn’t pulled him back to his feet and encouraged him to fight back against Fisk, saving his friendship with the people he cares most about in the process, he would have never made it far enough to get therapy.

Matt trusts you with his life because he feels like he owes it to you, but he also loves you more than anything. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him. You’re his soulmate, and he couldn’t be happier.

Nelson & Murdock added Karen to their permanent repertoire. With her, things are flowing much more smoothly, and they’re actually making money now. They’re expensive, as Foggy likes to say it. Matt’s friends are just as happy as he is, giving him hope for the future.

“Hey,” Foggy snaps him out of his trance, “Earth to Murdock.”

Matt blinks behind his glasses, his fingers halting their frantic movements along the paper. “While I don’t disagree with what you’re saying,” he says, “please don’t let my girlfriend hear you say that women are piling at my door.”

Karen snorts. “Trust me, Matt. She knows,” she says.

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t remind her of that.”

“My lips are sealed. Foggy?”

He sighs, once again dramatically. “As long as you don’t sleep with them, you have nothing to fear, my friend.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” says Matt. “The one I’m sleeping with is incomparable.”

Foggy grimaces. “Oh, dude. Gross! You know, God made conscious thought as a mechanism for humans to know when to shut up.”

“To be fair, ninety percent of the population don’t know how to use that mechanism,” Karen jumps to Matt’s defense.

As he laughs, he takes a whiff of the air surrounding their new baked goods. Matt can smell the sweet chocolate of the cookies, and somewhat of a herbal essence, but he can’t quite pinpoint why the scent seems so familiar. 

Karen walks around her desk to drop her bag and her coat. “So, do guys want a cookie?” she asks, swiftly changing the subject.

“I’ll take one,” Foggy is quick to answer.

Matt nods from his desk. “I’ll try one, too.”

The innocent decision to indulge in a sweet treat soon comes back to bite them in the ass though. Heavily.

When Matt first bit into the cookie, he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. It tasted like chocolate mixed with basil, sugar, honey, and the kind of flour Ms. Lebowsky used, but he didn’t find much else wrong with it. Perhaps if he hadn’t allowed himself to get distracted by his phone calling out your name and the sweetest text he could have possibly received this early in the morning from the love of his life, he would have noticed that something tasted off about these cookies. And that what he believed to have been basil as a secret ingredient was something else entirely.

When lunchtime finally rolls around, you drop everything you were doing before and make your way to Matt’s office. You always spend lunch together. It’s your favorite time of the day. For an hour, you can forget the stress of your workplace and focus on him. He’s your safe haven. Your home. You crave to memorize his features anew every day so that you will have something to carry around with you when he has to work a bit longer, or when he goes out at night and his Daredevil duties drag on beyond what he planned. 

You need to be with him as much as possible because you’re scared that your happiness will shatter on a white cloth, and you will be forced to move on—you can’t imagine losing him. You dedicated your life to loving him, and the thought of ever losing that privilege kills you. 

On your way out, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You smile, thinking that it’s Matt, but when Karen’s number pops up on your screen, you frown. 

‘We have a problem,’ she texted you. Without context. 

All the alarms in your head start blaring, and you start to walk a little faster. You start imagining all possible scenarios. When you ask Karen what’s going on, she doesn’t even reply. What if someone got hurt? What if something happened to Matt? You almost lost him once; you can’t go through that again. 

You burst into the new office space that your friends share a few minutes later, your chest heaving and sweat dripping down your pulsating temples. You’re ready to fight whoever dared to hurt the man you love, or possibly threaten your friends, or both, but when you look up and see your darling boyfriend with his cheek pressed against one of the leaves on their gigantic office plant as if the overgrown Calathea were the coziest pillow he has ever touched, you understand why Karen texted you that you—both you and her—have a problem. A big one, too, judging by the looks of it.

“What is going on here?” you ask the dreaded question, shutting the door behind you.

Only then do you notice Karen to your right in Foggy’s office, trying to get him off of his office chair. He’s belting the chorus of Defying Gravity at the top of his lungs, and he’s got a broom clutched tightly in his right hand.

Oh boy. Your wide eyes drift to Karen’s desk in the middle of the room. As soon as you see the chocolate cookies inside the Tupperware, it slowly begins to dawn on you.

You’re not sure which is worse: Matt cradling a houseplant with his glasses discarded and the first three buttons of his dress shirt undone as he’s coated in sweat, or Foggy singing one of Broadway’s greatest ballads so off-key that the Calathea is starting to wither.

It takes Matt much longer than usual to sense your presence in the room. He calls your name, and his lips curl into a bright grin. Even completely out of it, he looks like an angel on earth. 

“Matthew,” you say. You approach him like you would approach a little kid. He’s on his knees, so the analogy isn’t far off. 

“Hi, honey. What’s going on?”

“Sweetheart,” he greets you, and you have never heard this man sound so relaxed. His hazel eyes are red-rimmed and glazed over, but the most obvious change lies in his behavior. 

“Feel that.” He reaches for your hand when you’re close enough for him to smell you, but he misses. “Where are you?” Matt pouts. “I can’t see.”

You want to laugh, but this is not the time. “You are blind, baby,” you remind him. 

“Since when?”

“Over twenty years.”

“Oh.” He finally gets a hold of your hand. The conversation seems to go right over his head. “Feel the power of nature,” he tells you. “It’s so soft.”

You want to drag him away from the potentially dangerous plant if he decides to eat it, but the sight of him is one to behold. He looks downright adorable. 

You have to focus though. You gently pat his hand. “Maybe later,” you say, and then you make your way to Karen’s desk to inspect the cookies.

Behind you, she calls your name. You twirl around. From the looks of it, she managed to get Foggy down from his chair, but he remains singing at the top of his lungs. All the signs point to one thing, and one thing only.

“Did you give my boyfriend weed cookies?” you sound a lot more condescending than you planned to. 

Karen shakes her head. Her face is pale, and she looks just as panicked as you do. “Those are not mine,” she says. 

“But you knew they were edibles?!”

“Of course, I didn’t! I started questioning it when Matt started cuddling the plant because his Braille felt like boobs and he didn't want to cheat on you, so he decided that he needed to touch some grass.” She points to him, exasperated. As if on cue, Matt lets out a happy little sigh.

Your brain struggles to process all of the information at once. “I’m sorry, what?”

“He said that his Braille feels like boobs. I don’t know! I thought he was messing with me until Foggy turned into Elphaba, and that’s when I took a bite and realized there was weed in them,” she says.

You groan, your worried eyes momentarily flicking back to your high boyfriend. High. That’s not a word you thought you would ever associate with him. “How did this happen?” you ask.

“Ms. Lebowsky, the lady next door, we helped her out the other day, and this morning, she gave me these cookies. I called her when these two started acting like idiots—more than usual, anyway. Turns out, she confused them with the ones her niece made for her birthday party tomorrow.”

“Her niece made edibles for her birthday party?”

“Please, don’t ask. I don’t have all the details. I just–”

“It’s fine,” you cut her off. “Just tell me that you’ve got Foggy under control.”

Karen peeks in through the window to his office. “More or less, yeah. You’ve got Matt?”

“Yeah, I’ve got him.”

You have to take care of him. He’s your responsibility. But as calm as he is right now, his heightened senses make the situation a lot more complex than the mere accidental consumption of edibles.

Walking over to him, you try to haul him up. He protests, at first, but then he feels the fabric of your shirt, and he slacks.

Matt wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. “You’re so soft,” he coos. “You smell like honey.”

With his entire weight on you, you have to widen your stance so you won’t fall over. His usually quick reflexes are nonexistent right now; he won’t be able to catch you if you trip, and then you’re both going to get hurt.

“You know what’s even softer?” you ask.

“The plant,” he answers confidently. He sounds like a more careless version of himself. You can’t deny that it does something to you.

“No, silly,” you chuckle softly, “I meant your bed.”

“Oh. But I’m not tired.”

“You’re high.”

He pouts. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.” You stroke his back. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”

He stiffens and relaxes at the same time. You swear you can feel the electricity in his veins as his nerves respond to the feeling of your skin on his. It’s like he’s on fire. Like your touch feels a million times more intense, and he’s being crushed under the weight of it in a way that makes him crave more. 

He squeezes you tighter, trying to get swallowed by you, consumed to the point that you are the same person. The drugs are doing a number on him, and his already heightened sense of feeling has increased tenfold to the point you’re not sure if it’s pleasurable or painful or both. It must be agonizing, yet at the same time there is a high chance that the weed is calming his nerves and dampening his perception to the point he’s taking everything in without the added weight—he’s enjoying the newfound sensations in limbo, and he’s unaffected by it. You wonder how long that is going to last. 

After bidding farewell to Karen, wishing her good luck with Foggy who has now reached a point of his high where he’s lying on the floor, demanding to listen to Bohemian Rhapsody and cry over Freddie Mercury. She assures you that she has got it under control, apologizes again, and then sends you on your way.

“Bye, Karen,” Matt says. “You have very nice hair.” His hand tangles in yours, and his face lights up like a Christmas Tree. You managed to convince him to put his glasses on, at least, or he might get irritated. “Never mind,” his voice turns into a pur. 

Usually, you would shiver at his fingers in your hair, tracing the strands and sensually massaging your scalp only he knows how to, but today is not one of those days. You’re still concerned about the effects that the weed might have on him, so you want to be careful, although you’re not sure how much longer you can keep yourself from laughing. 

As you maneuver Matt through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, his cane hovers above the ground and his arm is hooked around yours. Without you, he would have run off into traffic by now. He has absolutely no spatial awareness anymore. 

Every sound, scent, and texture seems to capture his attention, but there's one sensation in particular that he can't seem to shake: thirst. You’re not even home yet, and you had to stop by a convenience store to get him a bottle of water. He shed his coat, which you are now carrying for him while also guiding him while simultaneously trying not to attract any unwanted attention. 

You can’t help but look at him as though he is your whole world. He is. He is everything to you, even high on edibles he never meant to consume, and acting like a feral toddler. If anything, you are even prouder now that he is yours. 

“Hey,” he whispers, leaning close to you, “do you think fire hydrants taste like licorice?”

You shake your head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Matt, don’t lick the fire hydrant.” 

He pouts. For a moment, you think that you have steered off any possible disaster, but that was only wishful thinking.

Matt’s curiosity knows no bounds, and he’s soon reaching out to touch anything that catches his eye. He runs his fingers along the rough brick foundation of a building, marveling at the texture, and he stops to sniff a flower, declaring, “This is the most beautiful flower I have ever smelled.”

You pluck it for him, and he carries it in the pocket of his coat with a happy smile. 

You’re both exhausted when you finally make it to his apartment. Getting his large frame through the door is one thing, stopping him from tearing the tap off the sink as he desperately searches for liquid with the words, “Water!” is another.

“Okay, okay,” you try to calm him. You grab a bottle from the fridge, open it for him, and force him to take it. “Drink.”

One touch is enough for him to drop it. “It’s cold,” he recoils in agony.

You sigh. “Tap water it is, then.”

You have never seen him down so many glasses of water. He is severely dehydrated and sensitive to changes in temperature. It’s either too hot or too cold, and you’re so glad that Karen texted you when she did.

You manage to get him to the couch with some snacks that he devours within seconds. If he moves one more inch today, you may not be able to catch him again.

His lip twitches. “Chickens don’t have any arms.”

You pause in the process of wrapping him in a blanket, staring blankly ahead at him. “Excuse me?” you ask.

“Chickens don’t have any arms,” Matt states. “Every American citizen has the right to bear arms under the second amendment in the constitution. If an egg was fertilized on US soil, and the chicken hatched there as well, technically, that makes them a citizen of the United States of America, therefore allowing tiny creatures without arms the right to bear arms, but who gives the bears their arms?” 

You’re so flabbergasted that the absurdity of the situation eludes you. The words process only slowly in your mind, and when they do, they cause a wave of confusion to wash over you before it turns into genuine amusement, and it takes every ounce of self-control to keep yourself from laughing at him.

You can pinpoint the exact second the thought escapes his mind and something else replaces it. His hand brushes over the leather couch. “Smooth,” he observes. You haven’t even fully processed his very philosophical question about the animal kingdom before he drops his cheek down on the couch.

The man who has been carrying the weight of the world in bricks on his back for years is finally relaxed; it shouldn’t leave such a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

You kneel in front of him, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Do you need anything?” you ask.

Matt’s gaze is filled with an odd sort of clarity. “Nah. Just you,” he mumbles.

A soft smile tugs at your lips as you brush a sweaty strand of hair away from his forehead. "I'm right here," you reassure him. 

He nods, his eyelids drooping as the effects of the edibles start to take their toll. “Good.” He searches for your hand, and you help him intertwine your fingers. A giddy smile finds its way onto his face. “You’re warm.”

You lean in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “And you’re high,” you tease.

Matt huffs out a breathy laugh. “Mmh, yeah,” he says. “But it’s okay. ‘Cause you’re here.”

Despite the chaos and the unexpected turn of events, there’s a sense of contentment settling over you as you watch him drift off into a state of bliss. He deserves it more than anyone. 

You stay by his side, watching over him as he succumbs to the pull of sleep that you’re all too familiar with after a sudden high. 

“Note to self,” you say to yourself, “never eat a stranger’s cookies without drug testing them first.”

And love has funny ways of making even the most absurd moments feel strangely beautiful.

Matt Murdock Tag List: @littlenerdyravenclaw @yarrystyleeza @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @thatonegamefish @norestfortheshelbywicked @mattkinsella @itwasthereaminuteago @linamarr @gpenguin666 @acharliecoxedfan

[lostyesterday]

There is a certain type of Star Trek character that is extremely and vocally hated by at least some large segments of the fandom. These aren’t just characters that many people dislike – these are characters who are actively hated by a significant number of people, usually ostensibly because they are “annoying” in some way. This isn’t a phenomenon unique to the Star Trek fandom by any means, but I’m interested in examining this phenomenon in relation to Star Trek in particular – including which characters it applies to and the potential reasons why it might exist.

First, I wanted to make a list of Star Trek characters that I believe definitely count as overly hated from the Trek shows whose fandoms I’m most familiar with:

Wesley (TNG)

Pulaski (TNG)

Keiko (DS9/TNG)

Ezri (DS9)

Winn (DS9)

Neelix (Voyager)

Michael (Discovery)

Adira (Discovery)

Then there are the characters who I’ve seen a lot of hate toward, but I’m not sure if it’s from a large enough segment of the fandom or is vitriolic enough to count completely:

Chapel (TOS)

Lwaxana (TNG/DS9)

Julian (DS9)

Kes (Voyager)

Naomi (Voyager)

Gray (Discovery)

La’an (SNW)

Obviously, I think it’s perfectly fine and reasonable to dislike any of the above characters. What I’m talking about here is when people act like there is something fundamentally terrible or irredeemably annoying about these characters in comparison to other similar characters, with a base assumption that most everyone in the world is going to agree that these characters just suck.

So what makes these particular characters such common targets of hate? The most obvious pattern I see in these lists is that female characters are vastly overrepresented, which is hardly surprising. Fandoms disproportionately finding female characters “annoying” and “badly written” is hardly a new thing. Also, in addition to just plain sexism, there’s certainly a racial element to the ways people hate Michael and Keiko, and a lot of people who talk about how much they hate Adira will just straight up admit it’s because they hate trans people. On the other hand, I’ve seen more hate toward Wesley than most of the other characters on these lists, and he’s a white boy. Could there be elements of the hate toward characters like Wesley and Neelix that are also gendered – as in, these characters somehow don’t measure up to cultural standards of masculinity in a way many people find irritating?

Obviously, bigotry plays a large role in why a lot of these characters are hated, but it probably isn’t the whole story either. Fundamentally, the thing that confuses me here is that I don’t personally find any of the characters on the above lists to be more “annoying” than average. I slightly dislike a few of them, but I don’t hate any of them, and I don’t understand what it is about them in particular that makes them prime targets for such vitriolic and widespread hatred.

I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on this. In particular, what do you think about the above lists of characters that I think definitely count and might count as overly hated in the Star Trek fandom? Are there any characters you’d add to or remove from either list? And do you notice any patterns in the types of characters that end up being overly hated?

[disasterfandoms]

Fluffy Alphabet || Donovan Rocker Edition

Anonymous Requested: “i wanted to ask you: could you write a fluffy alphabet for rocker SWAT? Pls”

A/N: Rocker!!! I love him so much, and I’ve written next to nothing for him!

TW: none!

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?):

He loves your strength. He is always in awe of how you seem to roll with the punches, how you never seem to crack until you’re home and seemingly alone. He has to be strong for his job, but he’s the first to admit that he has a problem controlling his emotions after a roll out that has gone badly.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?):

He loves your thighs. He loves placing a hand on your thighs, gripping them softly as he drives, or when you’re sitting next to him. It lets him keep a hold on you, to remind him you’re safe and you’re there with him.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?):

He loves when you lay on top of him, as if you’re a weighted blanket. He loves your warmth, as you heat him up by laying on him. He also loves when you can hear his heartbeat, knowing it races just for you.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?):

His ideal date is doing a painting session with him. Art is his safe space, and he loves watching you create something, even if you don’t think it’s any good. To him, you both are sharing your souls to each other through paint on a canvas.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?):

Donovan keeps his calm around you. He expresses his thoughts and emotions clearly, and with a lot of thought. He doesn’t want anything he’s saying to be misunderstood, because he hates fighting with you.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?):

I think he wants a family, but he’s scared. He knows that his job is dangerous, and he doesn’t want to cause pain to you, or to your potential children. That being said, something tugs in him whenever he sees you with kids, and he hopes he has a chance to have a life and family with you one day.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?):

I think Rocker probably isn’t the best gift giver. He’s more into experiences than items or flowers, but he will give you gifts to surprise you, especially on days where he knows you need something to cheer you up.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?):

Rocker loves to hold your hand. He adores the feeling of your hand in his, your fingers intertwined. He will hold your hand anywhere, at any time. Rocker is a lot of things, but he will never want you to feel as if he’s ashamed of being yours, and letting others know.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?):

Donovan would be a wreck if you got hurt, especially if it was something that could have been prevented, or if it was because of his job. He would instantly be by y9ur side, and someone would have to physically restrain him to keep him away.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?):

He loves to play small pranks on you. I think he’s had to become so serious at work, that his playful nature comes out when he’s home with you. Nerf wars, water guns, spray painting your hair while you sleep, etc.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?):

He loves to give you multiple kisses in a row, all over your face. He loves how it makes you giggle, and it lets him show his love for you. Otherwise, he loves slow, passionate kisses’ especially in the heat of the moment.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?):

He loves to show love by words of affirmations, and acts of service. He will happily go pump your gas for you so that you don’t need to stop on your way to work, or leave you a love note when he has to leave while you’re asleep. He strives to make sure you know how much he loves you.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?):

His favorite memory of you is the first night you had stayed at his home, waking up and seeing you snuggled up beside him. It let him realize how much he wanted you to never leave, how he wanted you in his life. He memorized every detail of your sleeping body, hoping to never forget how you looked, or that moment.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?):

Rocker’s worst fear is making a mistake in the field, and losing one of his teammates. He feels personally responsible for everyone he’s in charge of, and it keeps him up at night when someone gets injured.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?):

He hates the feeling of wool on his skin. He hates every time he has to wear his formal uniform, it feels itchy on his skin and it makes him want to rip his skin off.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?):

He loves to call you darling, sunshine, or baby. They seem to roll of his tongue when he’s around you, though he never thought of himself as someone who would use a lot of pet names.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?):

He loves to draw you, especially if you two are having a day in. He loves just being able to relax on the couch, and draw you as your focused on whatever activity you’re doing at that time. He has notebooks filled with sketches of you, in all types of outfits and doing different activities.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?):

The song that describes him the best is “Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur. It shows his vulnerable side that he can share with you, while also having the anxiety of thinking that it, the love you two share as well as just himself, may go away.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?):

Donovan is as open as he can be with you. He understands that you need that emotional vulnerability from him, but there are a lot if things form his job that he isn’t allowed to share.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?):

It started out as a physical thing. Rocker wasn’t looking for anything serious, he had decided to swore off relationships due to the job, he didn’t want to put anyone through that. After a couple months, though, there was no denying that you two were a match made in heaven, and he would be insane to let you go.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?):

He is instantly there to comfort you. He’ll give you the biggest hug, and then you two would either get takeout or go out and get your favorite foods to cheer you up.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?):

He’s most proud of his accomplishments, both in his personal life and in his career. He’s never one to hide you away, he wants everyone to know that you’re his partner, and that he loves you.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?):

He would fight to the death for you. He hates seeing you in any kind of pain, so if it came down to it, he would take all the injuries he could to make sure you’re okay.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?):

Rocker can read you like a book. He knows how you think, how you’re going to react, and tries his hardest to mitigate any upset the best he can.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?):

Donovan would propose to you privately, in your own home. I imagine that he would get help from the IT techs at work to make a short montage of your videos and pictures of you two, and then propose at the end of it. Then, once you said yes, I feel like he would paint a portrait of the moment to hang in your home.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?):

Focusing on the present is what keeps him calm. He can’t think of the circumstances, or things he can’t control, or it would cause him to spiral. He learned on the job that the only thing he could control is himself.

[angstyteenpoems]

Okay I promised I would write a dps book hate post and here it goes. This is gonna be long btw

1. Just, the writing. It’s so fast paced, to be able to cut a 2h movie into about 160 pages makes it lose a lot of character. There are few moments when it’s just describing, it’s always action action speaking small adjective action. Also it feels cheap?? I don’t know if that’s the right word but just one example, when Neil after practicing for the play comes into his room and finds his father there ready to reprimand him, in the movie you can feel the tension and dread. Wanna hear how it’s in the book? “Neil walked into his room. To his surprise, his father was sitting at the table!” No suspension. It feels childish. Also the emotions change way too quickly, a character goes from crying to laughing in two lines. I could rant about this forever but I gotta move to the next part.

2. The characters. Neil loses a lot of his charm. He feels almost mean. Like when Todd is explaining his childhood Neil thinks to himself “No wonder Todd is so screwed up.” Huh??? Neil would never think or say that? Todd also falls flat. There’s no dimension to him. It’s just boy whose parents treat him bad because brother is better. Their actions and emotions feel wrong and they do things that make zero sense. Also their emotions are described badly? In the movie when Charlie is smirking, in the book he’s described as giving a look? How is a person who hasn’t watched the movie supposed to interpret that?

3. The changes. I understand that you can’t just ctrl c ctrl v the movie but cmon. In the movie when Mr.Keating reprimands Charlie from doing the phone call from god he says “doesn’t mean chocking on the bone.” Want to hear the super clever synonym the books writer came up with? “doesn’t mean getting the bone stuck in your throat.” Like what. Just at that point invent a new line, don’t massacre it to the point that it feels clumsy and weird. Also, some really important parts are cut out, like a lot of anderperry parts but I’ll get into that later.

4. Knox Overstreet, yes he requires a whole section. When I started reading the book, I wondered if they’d change the part where Knox was rlly creepy and almost assaulted Chris. Well guess what? THEY MADE HIM WORSE! Like, he literally gropes her, and it’s written to be comedic? He is disgusting in the book, way worse. In the movie you can think him to be a stupid teen boy, here he just feels like a predator who shouldn’t be near a woman ever again in his life.

5. Just the weird predatory vibe of the book? Like the girls Charlie brings into the cave are in their twenties, and Mr.Keating teaches a class where he literally shows the students soft core porn. And the whole Knox thing. And I wouldn’t be opposed to this if it was truly explored and Knox faced some consequences for his actions or the boys would comment on how creepy it is that the girls are in their twenties trying to get with teens but no. It’s all played for laughs.

6. Anderperry erasure. And yea this is kinda stupid but idk, it feels less gay? Like the writer heteroed it? Feels ridiculous to say and it is but like, the scene where Todd and Neil throw the desk set? There’s no throwing, Neil just makes a “funny” joke about the desk set and Todd tells about his family. And this could be really good and a way to differentiate from the movie but it’s done so clumsily and badly that it feels lacking knowing what could’ve happened. Also when Neil and Todd do the iconic “No.” “What do you mean no?” Thing, there’s no scene where Neil chases Todd and calls him Walt Whitman. And again, this could’ve been a really good way to differentiate from the movie but the scene just ends when the conversation stops. Also the scene where they are practicing lines at the dock that isn’t in the movie, yk the iconic “God I love this!” “What, me?” Line?? Yeah, it’s gone. Changed to “God I love this!” “Acting?” it loses a lot of its character.

Closing remarks: I understand that it is really hard to capture a film onto paper but if you can’t do it properly, DONT DO IT. If you have to resort to awkward dialogue and a lacking storyline, just don’t do it. If you like the book, I understand, it has some charm to it but it really didn’t sit well with me. I dont suggest reading it. If anyone is reading this I’m really surprised since I doubt anyone wants to read this rant. Anyway I’ll be rewatching dps and trying to bleach this terrible book from my mind.

Also please add more criticism towards the book if you want, since I probably forgot a lot of things.

[sammygender]

i just feel like looking at precanon dynamics going ‘oh the main reason sam and john clash is because they’re sooooo similar’ is ignoring actual canon and implication in favour of taking a specific comment about a specific arc of sam’s that dean makes and running with it.

for one it’s missing all the context which is. this isn’t two random people who clash for unknown reasons, this is a father and the son he’s actively abusing and neglecting. sam has a right to be angry!! it’d be more concerning if he Wasnt angry (a la dean)!!

also just what we do see in canon is like. totally the opposite. john’s always hated the fact that sam’s different from him… that sam wants different things, doesn’t want to hunt, a different life…. DEAN’S the one who tries to be identical to his father. whether he succeeds is another story (i don’t think he’s innately very like john but i do think he leans into the same coping mechanisms and behavioural patterns, wholly for the worse!) but john seems to mostly believe him. even going by the journal which like. i know people don’t take as canon but i like it <3. john thinks dean’s practically a mini him (ofc he Isn’t but) and that sam reminds him of mary. 🤷‍♂️ ofc you can still see sam and john as being similar in some ways. i can certainly see it and i’m sure i’ve written it. kids r often like their parents. but 1 that’s not, like, the Secret Reason they’ve always fought so badly and 2 sam is like john sometimes but he’s also like mary who’s like dean who’s also still like john. and sam and dean are often like each other. i already went on about this in my last post so i’m repeating myself but. reject the false binary inside your head where a sibling like. picks a parent and grows up to identically be them.

[bookyeom]

Hallo Leslie!! I finally had a free brain moment to look through your prompt ideas, and if you’re still open to requests, how about # 61 + 90 from the second list?

Hope your week is off to a good start!

A/N: I'm so sorry these prompts took 800 years to get written, but here we are. This one may or may not be inspired by Wait (it 100% is inspired by Wait). Enjoy!!

Please Don't Tell Me Wait

Pairing: Dino x Reader Genre: idiots to lovers, friends to lovers Rating: PG (because of the kissing ig?) Word Count: 2.3k Request Prompt: "you can tell me anything." Warnings: kissing, Lee Chan as a general warning

YN: I’ll kill you, Boo Seungkwan. I will

Boo: why? 😇

YN: What could possibly be so important that you ‘suddenly’ need to go to the mall all the way across town immediately, bring Vernon, Soonyoung and Mingyu with you, and cancel on movie night?? When Chan is already almost here?

Boo: giving you and Channie some alone time 🙂

You gape down at your phone. 

YN: you’re shameless. Evil and vile. Canceled. 

Boo: I think you misspelled thank you? 

Your next raging text is lost mid-type as your doorbell rings, and you straighten up in your seat. You have a quick internal debate with yourself about whether or not you should answer, but then you think about how sad Lee Chan would be if you didn’t open the door, and you find yourself moving without any more thought. Whipped, comes the unhelpful thought.

As soon as you open the door, you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. Your breath catches just at the sight of him, wearing his favourite grey hoodie and a smile, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone more breathtaking in your life. “Hi,” he says, and you want so badly to ignore the way everything around you feels a little bit brighter just at the sound of his voice. You are in so deep.

You let him in and he quickly makes himself at home. It isn’t the first time your friends have plotted to get the two of you alone, but it is the first time it’s been in such an intimate setting. Chan’s been over to your place so many times before, but always with one of the boys in tow. You hate how nervous you feel.

You’re nervous because you like him. When Seungkwan found out last month, pretty soon everyone within earshot knew, too. Somehow – and you thanked the stars for this – Chan didn’t seem to have a clue. 

One thing about your friend Chan: he was pretty oblivious, for the most part. You knew so many people who would kill for a chance with him, but he didn’t seem to notice or even care. He flirted with you – that much was clear. You weren’t naive. But he’d never once seemed to mean anything more than friendly banter, because that’s just who he is, so here you were. Pining unrequitedly after one of your friends, with your other friends desperately trying to push the two of you together. It was frustrating at best.

You can make it through this night. You always have fun with Chan, and talking to him is easy enough when you aren't thinking too much. You have similar taste in movies and snacks, he’s funny, he's a good listener… the list is endless. You like being around him. You can do this.

You manage to act relatively normal as the two of you get settled for the movie, even as Chan makes a joke about the guys ditching, even as you almost physically jump back when he hands you the popcorn bowl to carry into the living room, and your fingers brush. You’re fine, up until the moment you’re sitting on your couch with snacks at the ready, a semi-breathable distance between the two of you, and he decides to speak up.

“Can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything.” You answer without hesitation, because it’s true. 

“Well…” He pauses, and you meet his gaze with a raised eyebrow when he doesn’t continue. As soon as your eyes are on him and away from the TV, his lips turn upward and he says, “I think you look really pretty tonight.”

Your eyes widen, and you nearly drop the remote. You watch as the corner of his mouth lifts up even further into a smile, and you can tell he’s pleased with himself. He raises his eyebrows, waiting for a response, but you don’t have one. Your mind wants to ask it, wants desperately to just blurt out the question — is this a date? Are we on a fucking date right now? — but you refrain. 

“Chan,” is what you say instead, with a roll of your eyes as you hold out the remote for him to take. You know the effect his words have had on you is obvious with the way you’re reacting, but you can only pray that he doesn’t comment on it. “Just pick a movie.”

You would almost think he meant his words if he’d ever actually tried to take his flirtatious remarks any deeper, but he never does. It’s been months of this. It’s not that he’s mean, you know he’s not — you just think he doesn’t have a clue that you might actually like him. 

“I mean what I said.” 

You’re startled from your thoughts when Chan speaks again, and you realize that he definitely hasn’t moved to take the remote from your outstretched hand. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you, either. 

You slowly lower the remote back down to your lap. “Have you been taking lessons from Mingyu again on how to flirt?” 

You watch as he leans forward slightly, that stupid, soft, teasing smile on his mouth yet again, and he asks, “Why, are they finally starting to work on you?”

You blink, staring back at him as all thoughts swiftly leave you. Your breath catches as his eyes wander across your face, and your own gaze can’t help but find his mouth. 

“Maybe,” is what comes out before you can stop it. 

Chan seems surprised for a second too, before he rights himself again. “Well,” he says slowly, “like I said... I meant every single word.”

His fingers gently pry the remote from your hand, eyes never leaving yours. He moves closer and closer, judging your every reaction, watching for any hesitation. He finds none. You let him draw you in, your back falling against the armrest and then he’s above you, his hands braced on the couch on either side. He’s gazing down at you so intently that you think you forget how to breathe. 

“How do I know that you mean it?” Your voice is quiet, uncertain. You know that you want this, that you want him, but you’re terrified that he doesn’t mean it in the same way as you.

“I can show you,” he returns, as serious as you’ve ever seen him, and you can’t stop your gaze from falling to his mouth. He takes that as a sign. And when he leans down, nose gently brushing against yours as he waits for permission, it’s you that closes the gap first. 

You kiss him, soft and hesitant. He responds almost immediately, pushing back against your mouth, a hum coming from somewhere deep in his chest. Like he’s been waiting. The thought makes your toes curl. Your hands find his waist, pulling him down to you as far as he can go, and you can feel him laugh against your mouth before he’s kissing you again, over and over, until you can’t think or feel anything but him.

You’ve never been kissed like this. 

He breaks the kiss first, his forehead falling to yours as he catches his breath. You’re both silent for a moment as you process, and you can feel your heart pounding against your ribcage. 

“Chan,” you finally say, voice quiet, your grip on the back of his shirt tightening.

“Yeah?” He mirrors your hushed tone, pulling away so he can look at you. He sounds breathless, and it makes you feel even dizzier. 

“I…” You trail off. You squeeze your eyes shut in a feeble attempt to lessen the effect of his gaze on you like this, but it’s futile. The look on his face, the one that you’d sworn to yourself all these months meant nothing, is permanently etched into the back of your eyelids now.

He doesn’t move at all as he waits, giving you time. The heat of him so close, his entire body pressed to yours, is so intimate, so overwhelming. You can feel him everywhere, can feel every breath he takes, and you wonder if he can feel your heart ready to burst out of your chest.

“Chan,” you finally speak again, voice barely a whisper. “If you don’t…”

His eyebrows furrow; you can tell he wants to speak, but he doesn’t. 

“If you don’t mean this,” you try again, your eyes still squeezed shut. “If this isn’t serious for you, then I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

It’s silent, and your heart slowly sinks into the couch beneath you. 

Then he’s gently pushing himself off of and away from you. The feeling of disappointment quickly claws its way up into your throat, robbing the air from your lungs along the way. You sit up too, keeping as much distance between you as possible. Your eyes stay trained on your hands in your lap — you can’t look at him for even a second.

“Y/N.”

You feel your eyes begin to water in spite of yourself. Stop, stop, stop. 

“Y/N,” he repeats, voice soft, “I need you to look at me.”

You take a deep breath, feeling your lower lip quiver. You steady yourself before meeting his eyes, straightening your shoulders.

“Do you really not know how much I like you?”

You weren’t expecting that. The question hangs in the air as you blink back at him. “You—“

“I’ve liked you for so long… since that night when you were the only one who laughed at my joke at Soonyoung’s party.”

Your mouth falls open as you think back to that night — you know the very one. The same night that you finally learned his name — the name of the cute new guy your friends had been bringing around. That was ages ago.

“Oh.”

A few more beats of silence pass by until he speaks again.

“How could you possibly think I’m not into you? I don’t think I’ve ever been more obvious about something in my life.” He laughs nervously, running a hand through his hair. 

Your heart is beating triple time as you search for your words. “We’ve known each other for six months, and you never said anything.”

“Neither did you.” He raises his eyebrows in a challenge, daring you to disagree with him, but the smile on his lips gives him away.

“You have so many friends,” you say quietly after a moment, and you watch as Chan’s face softens. “I just assumed you treated them the same way you treat me.”

“I don’t,” he says softly, “but I can see why you might have thought that.”

“So many people flirt with you. All the time.” You don’t know why you’re continuing to state these things — you blame it on the fact that you absolutely cannot process that he just told you he likes you — but Chan just takes your words as they come. 

“I barely notice… especially when you’re there.” He bites his lip, tilting his head as he looks at you. “And people flirt with you too, you know.”

You let out a laugh at that, looking down at your hands. “I know.”

“But you didn’t know that I was flirting with you?” Chan asks incredulously, throwing his head back with a groan. You can tell he’s joking, and you can’t help the smile that passes over your lips now, too. 

“I did know,” you offer, and Chan sits up straight to look at you again. You continue before he can protest. “But I didn’t know if it was serious for you. And for me…” You stop yourself before you admit what you were about to, feeling your cheeks flush. 

For me, it’s serious.

“For you?” He prompts you to go on, and you can tell he’s trying desperately to hold back a grin, because he knows exactly what you were going to say. You let out a whine. 

“Stop.” 

He laughs. Then your heart leaps into your throat once more, because he’s reaching across the distance between you, finding your hand and pulling it back into his lap. “I’ll say it loud and clear so there are no misunderstandings,” he begins, thumb tracing lazy lines on the back of your hand, “I like you… seriously.” 

You know he’s teasing you again, but you can’t find it in you to care when you know he’s being honest. Your eyes fall to your entwined hands, mesmerized by his gentle movements against your skin, your heart near ready to jump out of your chest at the softness of it all.

“So…”

You look back up to find him bashful as he speaks, and it’s his turn to avoid your eyes as he chews on his lower lip. You suddenly realize what you think he’s waiting for, and you smile. 

“I like you a lot too,” you say, and when his gaze snaps to yours, you know you’ve said what he needed to hear. He smiles then, cheeks flushed and happy, and you’re enthralled by how shy he’s being when he had just been kissing you into oblivion moments prior. 

“Good.”

You beam at him, and he beams back, before he’s pulling you closer by your joined hands and into a hug. You curl up into his side, your head finding a place in the crook of his neck. 

“Y/N?” You glance up, heart stuttering a bit at the sight of him so close as you wait for him to continue. “For the record, in case you were still worried – I absolutely do not spend time with anyone else trying to ignore the way their lips move when they talk. That’s Y/N privilege.”

“Not even Soonyoung?” 

He’s kissing you almost before you get the teasing words out.

A/N: please please please reblog if you liked! it's what us writers rely on :)

TAGLIST: @dejavernon @minisugakoobies @starsstuddedsky @hopeinthebox @tae-bebe @eoieopda @savventeen @wqnwoos

Message me if you want to be added to the permanent taglist!

[agaypanic]

They're open yay omg!! Ok I had a cute idea for Rodrick Heffley if you're up for it! :)

Rodrick x Male!Reader where reader sings him 'boyfriend' by Big Time Rush the same way that Rodrick sang 'baby' by Justin Bieber for that one girls birthday (I literally don't remember her name lol but also it doesn't have to be his birthday) but like, it doesn't end as badly as it did for him lmao

Idk if they should be an established relationship between him and reader or if this is like readers confession so ill let you choose what you feel like writing for!

Boyfriend (Rodrick Heffley X Male!Guitarist!Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: While waiting for your friends to show up to band practice, you decide to show Rodrick a new song you’ve been working on.

A/N: this is my first time writing for rodrick so pls lmk how i did! au where reader wrote ‘boyfriend’ instead of btr (with a few tweaks). rodrick and reader are in the talking stage (i dont wanna say situationship but ig that works lol) but their friends dont know about it. the only instrument i know about is the violin so sorry if i get anything wrong. also i think doing singing in stories/fics is kinda weird/awkward but whatever lol

***

You always cherished the few minutes you had alone with Rodrick during band practice. Sure, you liked your other friends. But there was something about being able to watch Rodrick not put on the whole ‘bad boy rocker’ persona that he was used to wearing. Around you, he felt like he could wind down and not think as much.

Although, he didn’t think too much in the first place.

“I think we have a real shot at winning this talent show,” Rodrick said, drumming a beat on your thigh as he watched you tune your guitar. “We just need to practice more.”

“Well, I think we sound fine right now.”

“We don’t need to sound fine; we need to sound great!”

“Chill out, Roddy.” You said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s a month away; we have plenty of time.”

“Don’t call me that.” Despite his words, the corner of Rodrick’s lip twitched up at the nickname. You were the only one who called him that. At first, he didn’t like it; it wasn’t a hardcore rocker name. But soon, he found himself getting giddy at the softness of it. “I guess you’re right, though.” 

Rodrick strummed his fingers across the strings of your guitar, laughing when you slapped his hand away.

“Work on anything new lately?” He asked, looking up at you from his hunched-over position. Along with being the guitarist, you were one of the main songwriters in Löded Diper, having many one-on-one writing sessions with Rodrick. That’s how the two of you grew closer, going from childhood friends playing on slides to somewhere between friends and something more, playing songs. Secret handshakes turned to lingering touches, and loud laughs turned to whispered jokes.

You were a bit hesitant to answer. You had been working on some new songs, but they didn’t exactly fit the Löded Diper brand. They were love songs, most, if not all, written with Rodrick in mind. 

“Kind of.” You finally say, picking at a frayed edge of your jeans. Rodrick perked up, always loving your new material.

“Yeah? Show me!”

“It’s not exactly like the stuff we play.” You argue, a bit anxious at the thought of Rodrick hearing what you had been toying with recently. “Besides, it’s not finished.”

Rodrick just shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

“Show me anyway.”

You hated how you could never say no to those eyes. You sighed and finally agreed, fiddling with your guitar while trying to remember the chords.

“No laughing.” You say.

“When do I ever laugh at you, Y/n?”

“All the time.” With that, you started playing. You gave Rodrick a nervous glance before clearing your throat and singing.

“Have you ever had the feeling you’re drawn to someone?

And there isn’t anything they could of said or done?

And everyday I see you on your own

And I can’t believe that you’re alone

But I overheard your friends and this is what they said”

Looking over at Rodrick, you saw him intently listening. Any other time, you’d be prideful of the fact that all his attention was on you. But right now, it made you wanna run. But you stayed planted in your seat and continued with the song.

“That you’re looking for a boyfriend

I see that, gimme time, you know I’m gonna be there

Don’t be scared to come put your trust in me

Can’t you see all I really want to be

Is your boyfriend

Can’t fight that

Knock me down you know I’m coming right back

I don’t care at all what you done before

All I really want is to be your

Boyfriend”

You let the last chord ring out before you set your guitar down and cleared your throat.

“So, yeah…” Rodrick kept staring at you. “That’s… the song.”

Rodrick scooted closer to you, and you lifted your head to face him eye-to-eye.

“Did you write that about me?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You bit your lip, watching how his hair fell from the movement.

“Depends.” You say, taking a deep breath. “Did you like it?”

Suddenly, Rodrick laughed. It made you stiffen, but you soon relaxed when he put a hand on the back of your neck.

“You’re so corny, dude.” He said before closing the gap between you. 

After the shock washed away, you gripped at his hair and ratty t-shirt, wanting to keep him close. You had come close to kissing Rodrick a few times, mainly while drunk at parties that you shouldn’t have been at or during writing sessions that eventually got interrupted by Rodrick’s younger brother Greg. But those close moments didn’t prepare you for how good the real thing felt.

When you parted, you rested your forehead on Rodrick’s as the two of you caught your breath. You opened your eyes and moved back a bit so you could see him clearly.

“So…” You start, not knowing what to do from here. “Are you looking for a boyfriend?”

“Sure.” Rodrick snorted before kissing you again.

[allthemeninmybed]

Coming to the surface Part I

Summary: Reader is a member of the band’s photography crew and they are barely ever on the same page with Vessel. They both think highly of one another but it’s merely professional. At least they think. Pairing: Vessel x mid-size/plus size fem!reader Warnings: non, YET Word count: 948 A/N: I haven’t written anything since 2021 so… I hope you like it, please, don’t forget to give me feedback! 🖤 - “You alright?” – You ask him softly. You know he doesn’t like you much but you still try to be nice to him. - “Just dandy.” – He pauses with an eyebrow raised as he looks at you, shaking his head before turning to the side. There was a part of you he did like, but he refuses to concede that. He has a self-preserving attitude that had a history of keeping people at arm’s length. Everything is upside down now. Somebody revealed their identity, alongside with birth certificates and addresses. You know who it was, it was somebody close. She was to Vessel. You know he’s disappointed beyond measure because he would have never thought she would do something like this, ever. - “I know it’s fucked up. I just… I won’t bother you, sorry.” - “No, it’s fine. Not your fault, is it?” – he pauses with a huff as he turns to face you and folds his arms against his chest. - “No, it’s not. And it’s not about me but it hurts anyway.” – you try to convey that you care for them, that you care for him but you don’t want to seem pushy. He turns to the side, his gaze drifting past you as he takes in his surroundings in quiet contemplation. His body language speaks volumes, showcasing his frustration but perhaps he’s looking for an outlet. For some strange reason it looks like you are about to become that. - “Tell me, were you aware of any potential plans? Or do you just take pictures when we’re on stage?” – he’s like a wounded animal, trying to insult you to make himself feel better. He's going to lash out and you’re the one who’s going to take it. Fuck. - “Do you really think if I had known I wouldn’t tell you?! Or try to stop her? Look, Vessel, I know that we’re not best friends here but I would never do anything to hurt you. Or the band. And even the fact that you suggest otherwise is hurtful.” Vessel sighs, feeling guilty when he realizes that he should’ve worded his questions better. - “I know.” – his eyes drift away as he rubs his neck to ward off the tension. - “I’ve always hated that bitch anyways.” – you point out the obvious fact he’d probably known, you weren’t subtle about your feelings. - “But if you want to shout at somebody... here I am.” - “She used to be a friend, you know. I thought I could trust her.” – his eyes harden as he pauses to compose his thoughts, his stance becoming rigid. His lips twitch in to the world’s smallest half grin, it’s the closest thing to a smile you’re going to get from him. - “Yeah, I know. Having misplaced trust is the fucking worst.” – how you wished you could hug him. It would be as comforting to you as to him, you think to yourself. He nods, biting his lip as he stares at the carpet. Vessel struggles to keep his emotions in check as the magnitude of how badly he’d been betrayed hit home. The very person he trusted and worked with for the past two years was responsible for the leak. A sigh escapes him as he looks back at you, blinking away the sheen of tears in his eyes. That’s when you decide to risk it. You open your arms a little, looking at him the most reassuring way. You don’t want to overstep boundaries. His eyes dart from the carpet to you, the offer clear in your eyes and the invitation tempting. It’s so enticing that he feels his lips twitch. However, the look in your eyes is so genuine that he had to take the chance, allowing himself to lean on you and pull you into his embrace.

You can’t believe he’s actually hugging you. It isn’t very comfortable since he’s very tall so you pull out of his embrace and point to the chair beside you. He sits down, not saying a word and hugs you immediately as you stand in front of him. His head rests on your chest, which feels inappropriate at first but it doesn’t bother you. You don’t give a fuck, this feels so good, so intimate, so necessary. Leaning further into you he breathes out softly as his eyelids slip closed. The urge to break down and just sob his heart out into you is strong but he refuses to give in and risk embarrassing himself. You start to caress his head and his hair as you’re hugging him. You hope it’s not too much; it feels so natural to do this, you didn’t even think about it, you’re just doing it. His hands are gripping into your body, he’s clinging to you and it feels heavenly. God, you never want this hug to be over. As your fingers sweep through his hair his breath quickens. This is his release; this is the intimacy he’s been craving and it would be a lie to say he isn’t enjoying it. His hands grip your waist, his eyes closed as his lips part slightly. You want to tell him so much but you can’t find the right words, nor do you want to break this soothing, intimate silence between the two of you so you do something bold. You kiss the top of his had while stroking his hair. A shiver runs through his body, the intimacy catches him off guard. His eyes search for your face with an intent he hasn’t realized was there until this moment. He holds his breath back, looking up to you his eyes seem even more enticing. There's a part two coming! Stay tuned loves 🖤 Part II

[batbirdies]

I just feel the need to remind people that when you’re getting upset about bad rep of your blorbos in fic please remember that 90% of fic is just badly written. Almost ALL of the common complaints I see about fanfic are because most unprofessional writers just aren’t very good at it. I promise you that the people writing two dimensional versions of your blorbo aren’t doing it on purpose. They just literally aren’t good at this.

If they totally misrepresented your fav in order to prop up their own fav it’s probably because they couldn’t think up a more balanced way to represent what they wanted to showcase because that would be complicated and multi layered and difficult and this other way is simpler and straight forward and doesn’t require the same level of skill or comprehension, dedication or effort.

Like… I don’t like to bring this up much because telling people “yeah I mean most fic is just bad” can be discouraging to people who already worry that their writing isn’t very good. But that’s just not the point.

Fanfiction isn’t published. There are no rules and its purpose is to be fun! For the writer just as much as the reader (if not more) and readers can just go away if they don’t like the thing. They don’t have to read it!

I just see so many posts complaining about how fandom does so many things wrong and it’s like… yeah this is like complaining that hobbyist artists work lacks depth and imagination and being disgusted by how bad the perspective and shading and color choices are. Like?? They’re not a professional and they are out here doing this for fun. MOST PEOPLE ARE BAD AT ART.

I just want people to stop and think sometimes before they jump on certain fans or fandom tropes as the root of all evil in their fandom. Like is it the trope or is it that the trope is being written clumsily and without skill?

In which case… does it make sense to complain that hobbyists just aren’t as good as you wish they were? That their free content is obnoxious to sift through on the hunt for something good?

Maybe you don’t think they should be allowed to have a fun time if they aren’t good at the thing.

Maybe you should think about what that says about you.

I’m not saying never complain about stuff you hate seeing, you’re still allowed to hate it. But the vitriol directed towards the writers is where I get confused and caution people to think about how much sense it makes to get mad at people for not being good at their hobby.

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Dan: Alright, no more sulking.

Frances: [ whines ] But it’s fun.

Dan: That’s a fucking lie.

Frances: Let me rot! I’m not bothering anyone!

Dan: Dude, you haven’t left the couch! I’m surprised you two haven’t merged into one.

Frances: Being a couch would be nice.

Dan: So did you get fired? 

Frances: I took some time off. I needed to finish up some projects for school.

Dan: What projects ‘cuz you literally have done nothing. No offense.

Frances: [ whimpers ] Am I useless?

Dan: NO! God no. I’m just a bit concerned. Scoot.

Frances: I did something.

Dan: You can tell me whenever you’re ready.

Frances: GOD IT’S SO EMBARRASSING!!!

Dan: Plenty of people do weird things.

Frances: [ blurts ] I kissed him!

Dan: Christ. What the fuck?

Frances: YOU SAID PLENTY OF PEOPLE DO WEIRD THINGS!

Dan: Yeah but this takes the cake. [ pauses and thinks ] Actually no, you and Atlas might be at a tie.

Frances: What did he do now?

Dan: He tried to kiss Taryn.

Frances: ha-HAH!

Dan: I feel so bad laughing-

Frances: But it IS kind of funny. I’m guessing it ended badly?

Dan: Sort of, Atlas needs to figure some things out. He’s got to earn it, you know?

Frances: Maybe working towards something meaningful will set him straight. Better than worrying about Toni.

Dan: Hopefully. What about you? Now why did you kiss your boss?

Frances: [ groans ] Stop saying it like that. Icarus, his name is Icarus.

Dan: Icarus can kiss-arus my ass. 

Frances: PFFT-

Dan: Seriously. Like what elderly man preys on the young and beautiful?

Frances: Dan he isn’t like a decrepit old fart.

Dan: Hmph, still.

Frances: He’s really… Pretty to look at. Like plays could be written about him and I’d read every single word.

Dan: SIMP!

Frances: I’m not denying it. I just misread things, that’s all. I mistook his kindness for something more because… Well… 

Dan: You wanted it to be true.

Frances: Yeah. A girl can dream I guess.

Dan: At least he didn’t take advantage of you. Otherwise, I’d have to kill him.

Frances: [ giggles ] Murder on your mind.

Dan: So I was thinking… What if we threw a house-warming party?

Frances: Ah yes so our new neighbors can hate us.

Dan: Not even! It’ll be a small get together. You invite your friends, I invite mine.

Frances: What if we just had a small thing with Kai and Atlas- Kai, I mean. 

Dan: You guys should really smooth things over soon.

Frances: Maybe. One crisis at a time.

Dan: Hmph. Sooo? Party?

Frances: Fine, but like ten people max. 

Dan: Totally! [ phone beeps ] Awh Luis texted me. He said.. I smell like old beans and that my room is comfy- What a little shit.

Frances: I’m assuming he misses you.

Dan: In his own weird little ways. I told my dad not to get him a phone.

Frances: Speaking of which, have you called your dad back?

Dan: Ah… One crisis at a time, right?

Frances: God dammit, Dan- YOUR FACE! That’s not what I meant.

Dan: MMM, you said it though. 

Frances: Bastard.

Dan: The one and only!

[spotsandsocks]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @tizniz @diazsdimples @wikiangela @hippolotamus @bi-buckrights @exhuastedpigeon Thank you lovelies 💖

How many works do you have on ao3?

89 that’s not too shabby is it. Three years of writing this summer.

What's your total ao3 word count?

902,255 that is quite a few words isn’t it.

What fandoms do you write for?

911

Top five fics by kudos:

If You Break It 3.2k Chris overhears a something and gets upset, then he tells Buck who gets upset too.

They say the Truth will set you free 2.3K Buck get a dose of something at work and gets emotional and chatty

Could Have Should Have Would Have 3.2k an unexpected“I love you” but it’s too late. Isn’t it?

Just Ask 1.7K Eddie's having thoughts, he wants to touch. Buck's ok with that, all Eddie has to do is ask.

Looking from the outside 2.4K TWhat happens when everyone you meet thinks you’re married to your perfectly platonic best friend. Most of these are quite old now, I think I’ve written some just as good or even better but fics don’t seem to get as much kudos these days

Do you respond to comments?

yes everyone is really important to me

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

No fics really end angsty round here but this one’s pretty emotional along the way.

Alone With Your Thoughts Buck gets very badly hurt (for plot reasons) and trying hard to stay alive he realises he’s not as alone as he thought.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

See above! All happy can’t choose the happiest.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet- think I’m too small to get noticed maybe!

Do you write smut?

Um yes I certainly do 😏 and quite well I like to think 😉 in fact an example will be popping along in FIF shortly

Craziest crossover:

Nope - now AUs is a different story

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! Can’t imagine anyone noticing my fics enough to steal them

Have you ever had a fic translate

Someone asked to once but who knows!

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope

All time favourite ship?

Gotta be buddie hasnt it. They just inspire me

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of my wips languish right now and are crying out for attention but I fully intend to finish them all. I do!

What are your writing strengths?

Not sure?! I think my more canon style fics are quite consistent with the characters in the show. Think that I’m pretty good with a complicated plot but you tell me?? I like the way I can wrap a bit of humor around the more tense bits too.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Long sentences? An over enthusiasm for the comma? Too long? Poor tagging?

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Maybe controversial but I’m not a huge fan of eddie using Spanish terms of endearment in fics. If he ever does it in show I’ll feel better about it, but it doesn’t actually feel very him, apart from that I don’t mind

First fandom you wrote in?

911

Favourite fic you've written?

How can I chose!! But these old chestnuts I’ve gone on about before but I, very proud of them actually

The Lost and The Found werewolf/shifter au

Good Knight Sweet Prince Prince/knight au

Tied To You From The Start smutty paranormal shenanigans

And obviously dragonriders au… see FIF post shortly

Thanks for tags you lovely lovely people you’re all so so talented I adore you you make my days so much brighter ☀️💜☀️

@rogerzsteven @hoodie-buck @thekristen999 @loserdiaz @weewootruck

@shipperqueen6 @stagefoureddiediaz @underwaterninja13 @steadfastsaturnsrings @daffi-990

@bidisasterevankinard @bekkachaos @elvensorceress @rainbow-nerdss @honestlydarkprincess

@saybiwithme @loveyouanyway @lover-of-mine @watchyourbuck @jesuisici33

@monsterrae1 @eddiebabygirldiaz @shortsighted-owl @fiona-fififi @the-likesofus

[liliansun]

I got you and you got me - L. Donhyuck

synopsis: forgetting the paperwork you needed for the meeting, your current boss has some new information to share with you and seeing how you were already late, today couldn’t get much worse, could it?

pairing: ceo!haechan + secretary!fem reader ft. dreamies, johnny (127) and my best friend 🫶

warnings: 18+ minors dni. smut, angst, swearing, slight fluff?, oral (fem receiving), fingering (fem receiving), creaming (use protection kids!), pet names (baby is used), hyuck is kinda a douche at some point, hyuck is cocky in the beginning

wc: 13k

a/n: this is like the second time I’ve ever written smut so please 🤡 do not come for me I tried my best also shout out to ash for the line she suggested <3

“Did you hear about the new ceo transfer?” A thump echoes throughout your apartment as a result of you falling over on your bedroom floor while trying to zip up your pants and put on your left heel. “Ouch—how could I not? It’s all anyone has been talking about.” With a huff, you push yourself off the floor just enough to get on your hands and crawl around searching for the shoe you’re missing. “I heard he’s cute, like really cute.” Rolling your eyes, you decide to ignore the giddy tone in her voice.

Your best friend was one of observation, she always was the first to find out who was doing who and what was going on around her—especially in the office. “As cute as that new intern you’ve been eyeing?” You can hear the slight disrespect in her scoff as she pushes herself back from her desk. “Actually no, no one can be as cute as Jaemin from the seventh floor, but if you’re asking me, his little friend Mark is equally as cute as Jaemin.” 

“I thought we were talking—ouch—about the ceo?” You were trying to reach underneath your bed, the space between the floor and the railing wasn’t big enough for your head to fit which ended in your cheek and temple being pressed against the cold metal; still wasn’t a very comfortable position to be in. “Oh yeah, Haechan, he’s quite a card. So far all the girls on the floor are gushing about how badly they want him in bed.” Finally reaching the heel you’ve been clawing at for what felt like hours, you pull it from underneath the bed and lean back on your knees with a victorious smile. “Yes, finally!” She giggles, typing away on her keyboard vigorously as she assumes you got whatever you were so desperately looking for. “I hate to interrupt this moment of triumph, but aren’t you late?” 

“Oh shit, fuck—save me a coffee!” Scurrying off the floor in an attempt to get the necessities to leave as soon as possible, you fail to realize the manila envelope laying dormant on your desk by the window. Joy, the best friend who was just keeping you company as you fail to get yourself together, per usual, hangs up the line knowing that you’d probably forget she was still there while you run around your apartment. Today didn’t seem like it was going to be a good one. 

For starters, you woke up late and nearly broke a bone or two trying to get ready when Joy called you making sure you were still alive. Then, you forgot the most important piece of your day carelessly back at your apartment which, unbeknownst to you at this moment, is going to bite you in the ass. All the taxi’s in your area seem to think you’re invisible for some reason because despite how hard you’re flagging them down, they drive past you like the dreams you once had. 

Deciding to take the train before you’re ultimately fired, you nearly miss the last one for the hour going in the direction you need and when you do finally get on, you’re squished between a big guy who looks like he eats people your size and a literal child who doesn’t look too pleased to be next to you. Thankfully the commute to work isn’t long and you’re off the bus and running through the subway to try and have enough time to salvage your job. Where you grew up and ultimately the background you came from was always strict on being punctual. You were hardly ever late and that was something you took pride in. You always tried to have enough time to make sure you were somewhat decent looking, had everything you needed and even if you weren’t mentally prepared, at least you looked like you were and that was good enough for you. 

So when you’re rushing into the multi-story building that holds about as many employees as you get on your paycheck, you’re definitely getting some looks of concern while you’re running and almost tripping towards the elevator. Impatiently tapping your foot on the floor while waiting for the elevator, you feel a presence coming you way and you’re just hoping it’s no one you know that’ll try and start a conversation with you. “Got somewhere to be?” The voice beside you wasn’t one you were familiar with, his soft yet deep tone was one you were sure you’d remember if you heard it before. “Uh, yeah, I’m kinda a little late.” Flicking your wrist, your watch falls forward, revealing the time and how you’re more than just a little late.

“Rough morning?” Turning your head back to him, you meekly nod before avoiding awkward eye contact. “Yeah, I didn’t sleep well I guess, but the CEO can be a dick so I’m in a rush.” As the elevator dings, people come stepping out as you try and maneuver yourself into the elevator. The guy who was trying to keep up small talk snickers to himself as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you getting in or what?” Somewhat composing himself, he straightens his back and tugs down on the edge of his blazer. “Top floor, please.” As he steps in, you click on his floor as requested and the floor you work on. “So tell me, what about the CEO makes him such a dick?” 

Closing your eyes to take in a deep breath, you weren’t feeling the best to keep feeding into his questions. “Look, I don’t wanna sound rude or anything, but I don’t know you and seeing how I’m already late, can you please just stop talking?” The look on his face isn’t one you can read easily and that somewhat makes you nervous. He almost looks displeased with your reaction, yet amused by how you shut down the conversation. The way he pushes his tongue into his cheek has you trying harder to pick apart what’s going on in his head. The ding of the elevator pulls you from your thoughts and you pull your eyes from his unreadable expression and forward as you’re back to rushing away through the office floor. 

Your first stop is to Joy’s office, double checking with her to see if the CEO started his meeting yet or if you still had time to breathe before being ridiculed for everything you did. Joy was one of the top people who ran the social media aspect for the company. Between her and a couple of other people, they all made sure to handle the media that’s put out about the company, the social media accounts looked good and stayed coherent and most importantly, ran the website. Of course they had employees underneath them that helped them do their job best, but the new intern is surely giving her a run for her money. 

A soft few knocks were delivered on her door before you peaked your head in to look around and make sure everyone had their clothes on still. She’s sitting at her desk, brows furrowed as she’s focused in on whatever she’s doing and the bun in her hair resting high despite a few strands that have fallen down onto her face. When you fully step in is when she looks up from the screen and an instant smile is spread across her face. “Look who decided to show up for work.” Rolling your eyes with a mirroring smile, you close the door behind you and walk around to one of the seats she has set up for when she needs leisure time over business. “Oh shut up, I damn near died coming into this building today and I don’t think I get paid enough to cover the funeral expenses.” 

Pushing her chair back, she walks around from behind her and joins you in the chairs adjacent from where she was just sitting. “I’d cover the rest, of course, unless I’m too busy planning my wedding with Jaemin.” Snickering, you lean forward to slap her on the knee. “You’ve had him here for what, two weeks at best, and you’re already planning a wedding?” Laughing equally, if not harder than you, she leans back in the chair and merely shrugs with crossed arms. “Who knows, he visits me often and I can’t tell if he’s trying to suck up to me or if he’s really just that desperate for this job.” Tapping your chin, you look off at the wall where pictures of you two and a few other friends decorate her office. “Hmm, maybe both.” Gasping, she grabs a pillow from the seat beside her and flings it across to hit you on the chest. 

“I can’t believe you said that, for that I hope the new CEO eats your ass alive.” Oh yeah, you forgot that’s why you came to her office in the beginning. “Speaking of new CEO, is the meeting starting yet or do I still have time to live?” As if the realization of the envelope left in your apartment was a wall made out of bricks, you’d be ultimately crushed and probably left with no chance of survival once it hit you that you left it behind. “Oh my gosh, I completely forgot the papers for today’s meeting.” Covering your face, you groan as loudly as the position you were in allowed. “I can’t save you on this one, that’s department crossing and I don’t feel like losing my job today.” With an apologetic smile, she reaches over and rubs your arm as you mentally prepare yourself for being chewed out later on. 

A couple knocks on her door pulls you both from your shared moment over your downward spiral. “Miss Joy, Miss y/n, I was told to come let Miss y/n know that the meeting is to start soon and she’s needed.” Both you and Joy look over to the boy who merely peaked his head through the crack of the door. “Thank you Jaemin.” Her tone was overly sweet as she locks gazes with him before he leaves her sight. “Duty calls, I guess.” Groaning as you push yourself up and out of the chair, she does the same and waits for you to pass her before following behind you. “Good luck out there soldier, you’re gonna need it.” With a heavy sigh, you nod and open your arms to take her in for a hug. She steps in, pulling you against her to engulf you in her embrace. The soft hint of vanilla and cinnamon fill you nostrils as you rest your chin atop of her shoulder. “You’re going to do great.” She mumbles against your hair while rubbing you back with encouragement. Pulling back from the hug, both of your arms slide down one anothers till you’re holding each others hands.

Giving them a gentle squeeze, she gives you one final reassuring smile before you slip through the entrance of her door and make your way back to the elevators. “Miss Joy wanted me to give you this Miss y/n.” Jaemin, the intern your beloved friend has been eyeing since the moment he first stepped into this building for his interview, met you at the door with a cup in his hand that had your signature drink printed on the order sticker. “Thank you, Jaemin.” Smiling knowingly at him, you take the cup from his hand and enter the elevator with the worry that your fatal mistake from this morning will cost you your job. Now you might be wondering, what even is your job? Unlike Joy who has her own office and obviously gets paid more than you, you work for the CEO directly. In layman's terms, you’re his secretary. Everything he emails you, you do the dirty work of digging into and finding out everything and anything there is to know about it. Upcoming rivalry company? He’ll send you the name of their CEO and that alone is enough for you to dig into them and tell him if they are a threat or not along with other useful information he might need to know.

Usually, he’ll tell you if he wants something printed off or not and you’ll grab it and bring it into his office, seeing how your desk is right in front of it. It’s easy for some to confuse you with his assistant, that poor girl has it harder than you, and you’re almost glad that you aren’t in the position she’s in. That’s why you’re scared shitless due to the important paperwork you left behind at home, and I know what you’re thinking, why can’t you just print off the papers once you get to your desk? Well, your CEO thought it would be a good idea to send to your personal email instead of the work email you use on this computer in case of any suspicious activity that might’ve tried to arise while you weren’t here.

As you’re getting off the elevator, completely forgetting about the drink in your hand, you take rushed steps toward the door that lead to the room where almost every meeting is held. When pushing the door open, you do your best to stay as quiet as possible so that you can make you way to the back where the assistant usually stands. “Come on in, Miss y/n.” Scrunching your face up, you halt in your steps when CEO Suh recognizes your presence. “I’m so glad to have you join us.” Your heart is beating out of your chest, eyes scanning some of the familiar and non familiar faces in the seats at the table. When you recognize the guy from the elevator, you lock eyes with him and he can tell by the look on your face that he was the last person you expected to see here. “Forget something, Miss y/n?” Johnny’s voice snaps you out of the million questions you were asking yourself. “Uhm, yes, I’m sorry Mr. Suh, it seems that I forgot the papers you requested for today’s meeting.” Leaning against the table with his elbows propped up, Johnny is searching your face from across the room and its taking everything in you to not crumble to the ground. 

“Good thing we still have the powerpoint slide.” He laughs as he leans back in the chair and turns toward the screen behind him as the other men around him join in on the laughter. The meeting starts and not shortly after, Johnny wraps it up with closing statements and a thick layer of his charm on a finishing note. “Thank you all for coming, please feel free to email me for any questions you may have.” Both you and the assistant stay put while Johnny shakes the hands of every man in the room on their way out. You didn't fail to notice the guy from the elevator watching your every move throughout the meeting and he didn’t seem to be shameful about it either. “Someone found their dinner I see.” The assistant snickered as she whispered it into you ear, making the heat of your body turn your cheeks into a light shade of pink as you roll your eyes and sip on your neglected drink in you hand. By the time everyone had cleared the room, both you and the assistant started to clean off the table and readjust the chair in preparation for the next meeting. 

“Girls, walk with me please.” Johnny was usually playful when he wasn’t talking business, so for both of you to feel the firmness in his tone made you nervous. After making sure everything was back where it was supposed to be, the three of you exited the room and slowly made a round of the floor. “You know I love you both right?” With agreeing hums from the both of you, you started to get an uncomfortable feeling of where this conversation was headed. “Without the two of you, this company wouldn’t be where it is today. Not saying that the other department head’s don’t do a good job, because they do.” 

“So what exactly are you saying, Mr. Suh?” You’re more relieved that his assistant had the guts to say it before you did, but also scared of the answer. “Seeing how the whole building has been buzzing about the news of the new CEO, I’m surprised you didn’t catch on yet.” Johnny led the two of you around the floor you worked on briefly before redirecting towards his office. “You’re seriously not leaving, are you?” The sigh that escaped his lips confirmed you worst thoughts. “Johnny, tell me this is a joke and you’re only doing this to get back at me for kinda calling you a dick this morning.” 

“You called me a dick? When?”

“Not important right now, what’s important is if you’re leaving then why would you leave us with someone named Haechan?” Just as you and the assistant were about to protest and beg Johnny to reconsider leaving, Johnny pushes his office door open and to much surprise, the guy from earlier is sitting in his chair at the desk. “Ouch, that one is gonna leave a wound.” With his hand over his chest, he pats the spot over his heart when your eyes lock with his. “Speak of the devil—girls, meet your new boss Lee Haechan.” 

You know that moment in cartoons where the characters have overly exaggerated eyes that look like they’re popping out of their heads and their mouths hang down to the floor to show overly shocked they are by the news and/or scene in front of you? That was exactly how both you and the assistant looked, except you eyes and mouths can’t exaggerate like that and the sheer embarrassment floods your cheeks to the point they are a crimson red. “Yeah, that wasn’t your finest moment, y/n.” Immediately covering your mouth to let out the gasp that threatened to escape, you take a moment to let everything settle before composing yourself in hopes to be salvaged for the events from this morning and just now. “She’s got a mouth on her, Johnny, she’s the one I told you about from the elevator ride.” Judging by the smile on Johnny’s face, you can tell he isn't too surprised by whatever events your new boss, Haechan, told him. 

“Yeah, you get used to it pretty quickly, she’s one of the best in this entire company.” Silently, Haechan rakes his eyes up and down your body and if you were anyone else, that alone would’ve had you eating out the palm of his hand. “Are we just going to ignore the reason why you’re leaving us?” The assistant piped up, directing the attention off of you to which you were thankful for. “I’m getting old, I’m starting to want to settle down and maybe even vacation a little to enjoy my youthfulness before I turn into my father and I figured a young and talented guy like Haechan would fit perfectly.” Haechan got up from the desk, moving from behind and opted to stand next to Johnny who was leaning against the front of his desk.

Now that you’ve gotten a better look, more up close, you see why Joy said he was cute. He had a sun-kissed dew to his tan skin and the sharp features that adorn his jaw were one of the many eye catching things about him. Despite him being shorter than Johnny, he was still very tall in the way he carried himself and that helped him stand out in a room full of people. He also had a way of moving and controlling the environment of the room, his voice was too smooth for his own good and his gaze was intimidating, but his presence was relaxing. “I’m guessing you’re his assistant and the one who isn’t shy to holding back is his secretary?” Unsure as to where this could be leading, the both of you silently nod while he moves in closer. Have you ever thought about switching their positions?” Neither of you were sure who he was directing his question, opting to staying quiet while he circles the two of you. “In the beginning, y/n was my assistant, but when we got new hires, she asked to be put on as my secretary and it’s been that way since.”

Haechan was humming, tapping his lips as he walked around the two of you. It felt primal, almost as if he was looking for weak points within you both and choosing what he liked and what he wanted to pick apart. “Come first thing tomorrow morning, switch positions until avised otherwise.” Both you and the assistant gave each other a questioning look, similar to the look Johnny was giving Haechan, but no one rebutted and you both lowered your heads as you turned on your heels and made way for the exit. The rest of the day consisted of you sitting at your desk, doing you job for what felt like the last time till you took you lunch break. Sending off a text to Johnny that you were taking your hour for lunch, he rescinded back with a thumbs up and thanked you for the notice in advance. Usually, you would’ve gone in and told him face to face, but since Haechan was in there with him and he was trying to show him all that was left ot learn, not many people have been back and forth in the office today. 

You opt on going down to the cafe located a few floors down to grab a premade lunch and head back up to Joy’s office to fill her in on the shitshow your life has been. As usual, you give her door a couple light knocks before peaking in, except this time she actually had company inside with her. The image of her body being pressed against Jaemin’s will forever be burned in you mind as you immediately shut the door. The sound alone caught both of their attentions and the two separated instantly. After a couple of minute pass, Jaemin comes out of her office with his shirt now buttoned up and the lipstick your beloved best friend is wearing stained his lips. To much surprise, he didn’t try too hard at removing it as he gave you an apologetic smile before disappearing around a corner. Turning to reattempt to enter the office, you find Joy leaning against the front of her desk with her hand over her mouth as you guess she tries to shake off the embarrassment. “Having fun or should I come back another time and let you continue?” 

She immediately throws up the middle finger as you enter the office laughing, shutting the door behind you and going back over to the seat you occupied earlier. “Anything you’d like to share with the class?” Attempting to fix the hair that you can only assume Jaemin ruined, the blush on her face crept up from her neck. “He was just helping me with some files that needed to be rearranged.” Opening up the lunch you got from the cafe, your eyes flicker up to her as she wipes the smeared lipstick off her face before reapplying. “Seems to me he was trying to rearrange something else.” She laughs, leaning forward to pick off the bits of your lunch you put in the lid for her. “Enough about whether he was going to be doing some rearranging, tell me about the mysterious hot new CEO everyone is dropping their panties for.”

Taking a big bite in, you think of how you yourself would describe him without sounding like every other girl in the building. “Well, to start off he seems really arrogant, not that attractive if you ask me, but he has a sweet smile.” Silent, she simply smiles and waits for you to continue. “He also kind at looked me and Johnny’s assistant like we were steak on a plate and if you ask me, that would’ve been hot if he didn’t do it in such an animalistic way. Oh and the fact that he told us that we’re changing positions starting tomorrow was kinda douchey if you ask me. You let out a huff, shaking your head while recalling the morning’s events. “Sounds to me that you think hes hot.” As you’re finishing up on your lunch and are about near the end of your break, you get up to toss away the container. “That isn’t what I said, all I said was–”

“Yeah yeah, I heard what you said, but I don’t think you heard the way you put it.” Rolling your eyes for what felt like the millionth time, you gave her a quick side hug before making your way towards the door. “Whatever you say, I gotta go back though so I’ll call you tonight if you’re not too busy smooching faces with Jaemin.” Puckering up your lips and making kissing noises at her as she scrunches up her nose at you. “Make fun all you want, at least I’m getting some!” Throwing up a finger at her, she laughs as you slip out of her office unaware of your surroundings. Just as you’re turning around to walk forward, your body collides into something—rather someone—and you go stumbling back a little. As you’re bracing yourself to hit the ground, a pair of hands find their way to your waist and keep you from ultimately becoming friends with the floor. 

With eyes screwed shut, you’re catching the breath that nearly escaped you and soothing your racing heart. As your eyes peek open, you’re way too embarrassed to see none other than Haechan standing in front of you. Well, he was actually holding you, but you’re trying not to focus on the placement of his hands. “In a rush again?” Fighting the urge to not look down at his lips, you’re convinced he can read minds when he darts his tongue out to wet them slowly. Clearing your throat, you immediately readjust yourself once you find the strength to stand on  your own two feet. “I, uh, I’m just gonna go back to my desk.” Coming out in a rush, you practically mumble the words as you brush shoulders with Haechan on your way back. The rest of the day seemed to go fairly smooth and you didn’t see much of your new CEO on your way out.

Walking in the doors felt weird knowing nothing was going to be as it was, the way you were used to. You spent some time last night looking Haechan up and observing and taking notes about him to sort of prepare yourself for the day. You did some digging on his social media accounts, thanks to the help of Joy of course, and found his go to coffee order. You also found some of his favorite snacks and a couple drinks he had up on his instagram. Planning to have all of this on his desk by the time he came in, you were sure to make somewhat of a better impression on him than you did the day before. This early in the morning, the office is usually pretty empty–so empty that not even Joy would be caught in her office until about another hour or so. As you’re passing by your now old desk, you can’t help but to frown at the lack of life that is on it. You took the picture you had of Johnny, Joy and yourself from a christmas party a couple years back and put in your room instead to give it the same joy that you had looking at it while you work. Knowing that Johnny’s old assistant will now fill it with whatever her heart desires gives you some form of serotonin. 

Pushing the doors open to the office, you’re more than surprised to see Haechan sitting in the chair with his hands glued to his keyboard. “Good morning Mr. Lee.” Your unexpected presence catches Haechan off guard, making him jump a little in his seat when he turns his head toward your direction. “Oh shit–jesus christ y/n.” Seeing him caught off guard brings a little smile to your lips as you lower your head a little to show you’re sorry. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just brought you some stuff.” His attention lingers a little too long on your choice of outfit for the day and judging by the way he’s eyeing you, you start to think there’s something lingering behind his gaze. Moving his attention to the bag in your hand as you approach him, a smile begins to form along his lips.

“Here is a coffee, some snacks I picked up on the way in and a few extra drinks for in case you get thirsty and might be craving one of these.” When you place the bag down on the desk, along with the cup, you take a couple steps back and silently await for what he wants you to do next. Haechan opens the bag, looking inside as the smile on his lips edges further and further towards a grin. “Let me ask you this, Miss y/n, why did you do all of this?” The question caught you off guard, blinking a bit while trying to determine the tone of his voice when he asked. With elbows propped up on the desk, he looks at you expectantly while you internally short circuit. “I’m sorry?”

“Did you take time out of your morning just to go out and get me things I like because you found it within you to be this nice or did you have other intentions with your gifts.” The chair is pushed back when he stands up from behind the desk, walking around to make his way toward you. “I, uh, just wanted to make a good impression on you.” The sentence almost died in you throat when Haechan got close enough to hear you elevated breathing. “So if that was because you simply wanted to make a good impression, what’s this all about, hm?” Motioning his finger to the somewhat sheer shirt you chose to wear, your face immediately burns with embarrassment while you avoid meeting his gaze. “Seems to me that you’re making more of a good impression on me, Miss y/n, some might even say you’re leaving an imprint on me.” Circling around you, Haechan stops once he was standing behind you. “Do you always come off this strong to you assistants or am I special like the other girls, Mr. Lee?” You can’t see the smirk on his face, but you can almost feel it when his hands find their way onto your hips. “Dunno, never had the chance to have such a beautiful assistant like you before.” Scoffing, you turn around to face him and one thing you didn’t fail to miss was the way the dent in the front of his slacks brushed against you. “And give me one reason why I can’t walk out of this room right now and report you to corporate.” There was almost a sickening smile on his face that made your stomach do cartwheels. “Do it baby, the door is right there if you want to leave so bad.” You were now silent, contemplating on if you leave and try to pretend that none of this happened or if you’re really going to give into your human nature and take this relationship with your newly announced CEO on your first day being his assistant. 

Just as you’re about to lean in and capture his lips with your own, a knock at the takes you both away from your thoughts. Haechan let out a heavy sigh as he turned around, holding his hands near his bulge in order to draw attention away from it if needed. You step around him, going to answer the office door. One of the team directors from a couple floors down is standing on the other side, a stack of papers in his hand as he greets you. “Good morning Miss y/n.” Nodding, you step aside and let him in. “Good morning, Mr. Lee if you need me, please let me know.” Simply nodding, you turn to walk away and you’re sure the flushed cheeks that adorn your face right now are a dead give away to what was about to ensue behind those closed doors.

During the rest of the day, you expect a little of what you got this morning and to much surprise, you got the opposite. Well, not quite opposite, but Haechan didn’t come off as direct as he did hours before. Instead, he would send you looks from across the room and if you’re honest, each look he gave you shot straight down to your core. You’re not sure why you got so hot and bothered so quickly over him, but even the slightest touch would send chills down you body. Joy told you that you’re so reactive because you hadn’t gotten laid in a while and while she isn’t wrong, you find it hard to believe that a little lack of sex in your life has you melting in the hands of a man you hardly know. 

It all sounds about right, right? Wrong, oh boy you were so wrong about being sure that you were more than just attracted to him and that was why you were damn near seconds away from dropping your panties for him each time he purposely pushed up against your ass. You had hoped that maybe with time things would get easier, that maybe with the help from the toys you have back at your apartment that the tension would simmer some between the two of you, but as the weeks went on, it only seemed to get worse. There would be lingering touches between the two of you when only you were in his office, you’d catch him staring at your lips more often than not and sometimes you’d even amplify the things between you by purposely wearing something you thought he’d like in hopes to get a reaction out of him. You’re starting to think it’s worked. 

Now, there isn’t anything written down saying that an assistant’s job is only defined within the hours of work because technically, the company runs all day throughout the week. So no, there isn’t anywhere in any book that says that your boss, the one who’s been trying so hard to get in your pants, shouldn’t be messaging you on your off day asking for you to bring him his lunch. In his defense, he says he’s stuck in a virtual meeting and forgot to get something made before it started. Joy finds it to be full of bullshit and advises you to wear your finest set of lingerie, but you assure her nothing is going to happen and the little packages she shoved in your purse was unnecessary. 

When you left the shop he so desperately wanted this specific sandwich from, you’d be lying if you said the butterflies weren’t bounding around in your stomach bad up into your ribs. The closer the GPS said that you were to his house, the worse they got and you were starting to feel a little nauseous. When you pull into his driveway, you’re mostly shocked to see that his house wasn’t at all what you expected it to be. Seeing how he’s already a CEO of a pretty popular company before the age of thirty, you expected a more lavish lifestyle, but it’s almost refreshing seeing his house as if it was one next door to your own childhood home. Pulling in behind, what you can only assume is his vehicle, you put the car in park and grab the bag and head up towards his front door. 

Before knocking on the door, you repeatedly remind yourself that you’re only here to give him his lunch and nothing more. The last thing you need to do is fall into his smooth talking trap and end up coming in and not leaving when you’re supposed to or at least that’s what you’re telling yourself. Deciding on what’s worse in your head as far as the possible sequence of events, you push everything in your mind aside and knock on his door a couple times. You’re waiting for what seems like forever for him to answer, fiddling with the bag in your hand when he opens the door with a somewhat surprised look on his face. “Hey.” He breathes out his greeting as he steps aside and you take a quick step in. “Sorry for the mess, I’ve been arguing with the same people for the last couple of hours and I almost forgot you were coming over.” 

Taking in the interior of his house, a smile falls upon your lips. It’s a very welcoming and calm atmosphere, small pictures of him and who you’re assuming his friends hanging up on the walls. The more you look, the more you find a piece of him in each decoration that hung like trophies on the wall. As you started to walk around, the sound of Haechan walking away caught your attention as his silhouette disappeared down the hallway. Cautiously, you follow behind him as he goes into what you assumed was his home office. Turning the corner, Haechan pulls out the chair and plops back into it before scooting back up to the desk and starts to type away on his keyboard. The room was quite empty compared to the living room. There wasn’t anything hanging up on the walls and you kind of expected more furniture for seating, but there was just a desk and a chair and a mini fridge sitting beside the desk. Maybe the mini trash can if you’re counting it, really. 

“Are you just gonna stand there or can I have my sandwich now?” You must’ve been lost in your own thoughts and the moment it takes for his words to register in your head shows it. “Oh, uh, yeah.” Mumbling, you walk over to his desk and place the bag down beside him. You’re partly curious as to what he’s working on, but trying to not be nosy was a push and pull battle in your mind. “Is that the spreadsheet for our new upcoming project?” When Haechan turns his head toward you, there’s an unexpected smile on his lips that you quite can’t get enough of if we’re being honest. “I see someone’s been paying attention to the meetings.” Rolling your eyes in response, you lean down a little to get a better view. “Are you really expecting that much of a sales increase when it launches?” The question was more of a good thing than bad, but it seems the entire question went over his head as he zones in on your closeness. “You smell really good.” 

You’re trying not to focus on the fact that his face is inches from yours or the fact that he’s leaning in and practically sniffing your exposed skin. Maybe let’s not focus on the fact that the proximity of his lips from yours is flooding your mind with thoughts that have your heart racing. “That’s not the answer to my question, hyuck.” The nickname slipped out from your lips too quickly for you to catch and you’re almost embarrassed how closely you pay attention to him. For Haechan, he can practically hear his heart beating in his chest from the slip up that you didn’t intend to happen and it adds the cherry on top of his pride in knowing that you paid as much attention as he did to you. “I’ve got a better question.” When his fingers brush against your cheek, you can feel the heat radiating from your face as contrast to his cold fingers. “How bad do you want to kiss me right now, because I already know my answer and I just need the green to make both our dreams come true right now.” 

With parted lips, you take in a deep breath of air to prepare you for what’s next to come. His eyes that were usually a beautiful amber color seemed to have darkened with a lustful glaze to them and the look he’s giving you right now alone is enough to cause the fabric of your panties to start feeling slick. “Never met a man who said he’d make my dreams come true in such a short time.” Reaching out, his hands find their way onto your hips and his fingers immediately start to dip into your skin while he pulls you onto his lap. There’s a deep chuckle that emits from his chest, the sound sends a shiver down your spine. “Baby, give me the chance and I’ll have you seeing the stars in some of your best dreams.” The chair isn’t the most spacious and Haechan seems to notice as you struggle to make yourself comfortable on his lap. Moving his hands further down your hips and down the curve of your backside, he settles them underneath your thighs and gives them a firm squeeze before hoisting you up with a yelp earned from you.

“Only some?” The playfulness in your tone was enough for him to know that you were good to go, but he wasn’t going to let you have what you wanted so easily. With your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers toying with the bottom strands of his hair. He was quick to bring you to his room, setting you down on the edge of his bed for you to unwrap your limbs from around him. His hands migrated from the slightly exposed skin on your hips to your chin, pulling you in for the kiss you both had been waiting for. Just as you’re expecting to be met with his lips, you’re left wondering why nothing has happened and when you open his eyes, the shit eating grin on his face almost makes you wanna wipe it off. “Are you gonna kiss me or am I going to have to kiss myself?” 

“Depends on how badly you want to be kissed.” Barely an inch away, he was so close that his breath was fanning into your lashes. “You suck, I hope you know that.” Somehow his lips curl even further and you were feeling tempted to salvage your dignity before he prolonged it any longer. “I bet you’d look pretty sucking on something else.” Reaching up to grab the collar of his shirt, you pull him in and your lips crash against one another. Haechan doesn’t fight it, instead he gives into it and leans forward with one hand moving to curve of your back. His lips are just as soft as you expected and the honey flavored chapstick he keeps on his desk is peaking through as he pushes his tongue in for permission to explore your mouth. Without much thought, your lips spread to welcome the sudden movement and the warmth it sends down your body has your brain becoming mush. 

He doesn’t fight for much control of the kiss, instead he uses his time to slowly undress you in between the kisses that started out soft and slowly started to get rougher. Once he got you stripped down to just your bra and panties, he broke the kiss to lean back and admire you. To him, you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen and the sheer thought of getting so close to making you his was not only affecting his lower and neglected region, but a part of his heart that he found only beats for you. Under his lustful gaze, you were starting to feel shy and pull at the blanket in hopes to cover up. Haechan almost immediately pushes your hand away, a soft look on his face. “Don’t hide from me baby, I wanna see all of you.” Kneeling down, Haechan’s hands slide underneath your thighs and wrap around to grab onto your hips. He pulls you down to the edge of the bed, eyeing the darkened spot that you seemed too shy about. 

“Are you sure you want this?” Nodding, you do your what to avoid looking down at him. His head was inching up between your thighs, leaving opened kisses on your skin. “Words baby, I want to hear you.” Taking in a breath of air, you make the fatal mistake of looking down while his fingers hook underneath the band of your underwear. Slowly pulling them down, you lift your hips up with a little wiggle to help him move them down your leg till they hit the floor with a soft thud. “I want this, hyuck.” You’re expecting him to make you beg for it, something about him feels like he’s the type to tease you and you know for a fact that he’s contemplating it. With a sly grin on his lips, he yanks your hips closer to him, spreading your legs apart to get the best view of the wetness slicking down your hole. 

“Be glad I’m impatient tonight.” Before you get the chance to respond, the feeling of his tongue took all the breath left you had in your lungs. Moving the muscle in a slow and patterned motion, he focuses on the spot he knows that’ll get you to where he wants you and moves one of his hands to your entrance. His view of you had him bucking his hips against the edge of the bed, the taste alone was starting to become an addiction for him and he couldn’t get enough. “You taste so fucking good.” He mumbles against your clit, slipping a finger into which earned a satisfied moan from your end. You’re sprawled out on the bed, gripping the blanket beneath you for some leverage to remind you you’re still on earth. With his tongue dipping down to lap at your flowing juices, the moans of his name roll off your tongue. “F-fuck hyuck, I’m c-close.” You’re almost ashamed at how quickly he’s gotten you to coming, but he doesn’t let up any. Instead, he replaces his finger with his tongue and presses two digits against your almost sensitive clit. 

“H-hyuck s-stop, I-I’m gonna cum.” Haechan doesn’t respond, instead he dips his tongue into your clenching hole while his fingers work circles onto your clit. Your moans are starting to get higher in pitch and Haechan can tell by the way you’re tightening around his tongue that your orgasm wasn’t far behind. He’s groaning into your pussy, using his hand on your hip to pull you even further against his mouth. You’re starting to feel like you’re going to explode, the tightening feeling in your stomach getting stronger each time he flicks his fingers on your clit. With a high pitched moan, you finally release against his tongue and Haechan is drinking it up. “H-hyuck, sensitive.” He likes the way you whine his name, it sounds so pretty coming from you, especially when he has you coming the way he did. He decided to be generous and slow his movements on your clit till eventually his hand stopped, despite your protest and pushing of his hand. 

When he comes up from between your legs, the glistening on his chin and mouth has you clenching around nothing. “Do you want to stop?” Despite the fact that he just ate you out like he was a starved man and you were his only source of food and water, the softened look on his face has not only your stomach, but your heart doing flips. “No, I want you, I want you hyuck.” He smiles, pulling his shirt up and tossing it aside to deal with later. He then starts to discard his pants, watching as you eye the bulge in briefs. “Like what you see?” You’re tempted to throw up a finger and tell him to fuck off, but the sight of him pulling his throbbing member out for release has your mouth watering. Not once in your life would you ever think you’d be salivating over a dick, but his was just too perfect not to admire. His length wasn’t too long to where you’d have to be hospitalized, but just long enough to make you feel like you’ll see the galaxy. His girth, let’s not even talk about how thick he is.

“Eyes up here, baby.” His voice snaps you out of your thoughts, looking up to meet his eyes. He starts to crawl onto the bed and over you, moving his hand between your legs and cupping your pussy to gather some of the wetness to spread along his tip. “Tell me if I need to stop.” Nodding, you’re too focused on him aligning himself up with your entrance. Haechan cupped your chin, moving your head up to meet his eyes. “I mean it y/n, tell me if I need to stop.” A soft smile spreads across your lips as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down into a kiss. You’re expecting it to be rough and sloppy, somewhat similar to the kiss you shared in the room over, but instead it was gentle and full of emotions the two of you didn’t know you were starting to harbor. Haechan’s hips slowly lowered, moving his hand away from his member to allow himself to slip into your warmth. You’re moaning into the kiss as he fills you up, inch by inch creating a beautiful stretch and the pain started to mix with the pleasure and you were in heaven. 

Pulling back from the kiss, he nuzzles his head into your shoulder as he pulls back before thrusting forward. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight.” He starts to thrust in you in a rhythm, making your body bounce up when his hips snap against yours. “H-hyuck.” Haechan feels too close to finishing and slows down his pace while one hand hooks underneath your leg and holds it against his shoulder and chest to get a better angle. The new position has him hitting you in all the right spots when his hips snap forward and his name is rolling off your tongue incoherently as you feel your thoughts slipping further and further away. “Look at you, so fuck—fucking tight, you’re squeezing my cock so hard you just want me to cum.” The lewd words coming from him without shame made your walls clench around him even harder, too lost in the feeling of him filling you up to respond. 

The sight in front of him was one he wanted to see all the time, your breasts bouncing each time he slammed his hips into yours and the look on your face was just too perfect for him to never see again. The free hand he had found it’s way onto your clit, tracing circles with his fingers as his pace started to quicken. You could tell he was close and the wave of your second orgasm was coming in quicker than you were expecting. “Come with me baby, I wanna fuck you full of of our cum.” Haechan could’ve swore you were the love of his life when you gripped his arms and pulled him down into another kiss. Your lips melted against his while you mumble against them that you were close and before you could tell him clearly, you released all over his member. The fluttering of your walls was sending Haechan into a frenzy when his hips started to move sloppily before stilling them while he pumped his load into you. Softly whimpering, you continue the kiss and much to your surprise, Haechan doesn’t pull away. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, rubbing the upper half of his back as the two of you kiss until you’re about to run out of breath. He’s the first to pull back, much to his own internal protest, and when he opens his eyes, he’s smiling from ear to ear at the fucked out look you were sporting beneath him. Although you weren’t wreaking any makeup, the sweat glistening on your skin made you shine with the sunset coming through the blinds. “You okay?” A soft nod soothes all his worries of potential hurting or even scaring you away. Leaving a soft kiss onto your hairline, he slowly pulls his hips from yours and his softening member slips from within you leaving you feeling empty. He leans back on his knees, watching the mix of his and yours cum leaking out between your legs. “Stop staring, it’s making me feel weird.” A little laugh escapes his lips while you attempt to cover your face from embarrassment. 

He’s tempted, boy is he tempted, to lean down and lick your hole clean till every bit of cum is gone and you’re left squirming and crying on his tongue all over again—but he’s not going to overstimulate you, just yet, and gets off the bed instead. You watch him get up and make his way into the bathroom, sitting up on your elbows as you watch him start the shower. Silently, Haechan comes back into the room and walks over to the bed on the side to which you’re more accessible. Hooking his arms underneath you, he pulls you close to his chest and carries you into the bathroom where you two take a well needed and very hot shower. You don’t say much to each other, taking the shirt he offered you from his closet and staying in his arms when he asked you to join him on the couch to watch movies. 

When you left the next morning, you didn’t expect this to become any sort of routine. You went to work the following Monday and went about your business as usual. Of course you had to fill Joy in and she wasn’t all too surprised, but she understood why you ditched her that Saturday night and didn’t answer your phone till the following afternoon. Nothing was supposed to change between you, you were supposed to stay professional and be his assistant and respect the boundaries that shouldn’t have been crossed once before—but you don’t exactly remember when it all started to fall apart either. 

One day, you’re bringing him his paperwork he asked for and the lunch he wanted and the next, you’re sucking his dick under his desk while he takes calls from over seas. That’s not even the worst part of it all, between being bent over his desk in the middle of the busiest part of the day, you found yourself in his bed—not only on weekends, but weekdays too. That in itself was a problem and you didn’t want to address it, but when you found yourself sleeping over so much that you didn’t have to worry about clothes for work the next morning because he already had clothes you left before hanging in his closet—yeah you really needed to pull yourself together. 

Joy started to notice your change in behavior, the way you were more smiley and always busy with either doing things for Haechan or being the thing he’s doing at the moment. She made a couple comments here and there, telling you you’re biting off more than you can chew and you brush her off because there was no way that you were getting ahead of yourself, but everyone around you who looked a little longer at the way you two interact, they’d see there was more going on between the both of you. 

Things in the office have been pretty tame recently, no one is doing anything alarming and everything seems to be running smoothly, just like the hand going down Haechan’s arm from the substitute secretary—a little too smooth. The girl you switched jobs with is off on her honeymoon for a week and since her job is important, Haechan brought in one of the more experienced interns a couple floors down. You offered to take over the position, but he argued that he needs you by him at all times and you think that was only for him to get his dick wet whenever he had you alone. Lately, you two haven’t been on top of one another as you’re used to and you have her to blame. 

“Sounds like you’re jealous.” With one brow raised, Joy is leaning against her desk with her arms folded across her chest. Jaemin is sitting at one of the chairs you used to occupy when you had more free time to barge into her office. “She’s got a point.” Shooting him a look, he instantly raises his hands up and silently admits defeat and decides to stay quiet. “I’m not jealous, it’s just—it’s just so aggravating because I can’t do my job if she’s always barging in and asking the same damn questions, only worded differently.” She snickers, pinching the bridge of her nose while you huff. “What’s so funny? I don’t remember this being a joke.” 

“Just say you’re jealous baby, if you come to terms that you may actually have feelings—“

“Uh uh, nope, not going down this road again, I don’t have feelings for him.” She didn’t seem like she was buying your argument and you didn’t feel like having to come to terms that maybe you actually did and the little bit of jealousy that sank into the bottom of your stomach when they got too close was due to your neglected emotions for him. “I’m just saying, if you weren’t so crazy for his dick then maybe you’d see that you really like him.” Letting out a loud groan, you push yourself up from the chair you were sitting in and headed towards her door. “I gotta get back before he starts ringing me up to find me.” She nods, blowing you a kiss to which you pretend to grab. “Be safe out there, soldier.” You salute her while turning the knob and opening the door. Stepping out of her office and letting the door shut on its own behind you, you make your way through her floor and back up to Haechan’s office. 

The door was cracked, so you could see figures moving around inside, but when you actually stepped inside, the sight before you made you feel nauseous. Haechan was sitting in the chair he usually sat in in front of his computer, but his lap was being occupied by the fucking secretary. Her hands were everywhere and anywhere on his upper body and his hands just so happened to be conveniently placed just above the curve of her ass. Of course when the door opened, the commotion caught their attention and the two started to separate. Haechan was expecting Johnny to come in, seeing how he said he was gonna pay a visit today, but when he saw you standing in the doorway with wide eyes and a sadden expression, he couldn’t stop the guilt from washing over him. 

“Sorry, I’ll come back later.” Practically mumbling the words, you pull the door shut behind you and move as fast as you can to the nearest elevator to escape having to face him right now. You’re hurt, rightfully so seeing how you’ve only been sleeping with him and thought he was doing the same, but the more you start to replay the imagine in your head, the more you realize how dumb you look. Unbeknownst to you, Haechan was trying to find you without making it known to the girl that was just grinding away on his lap that he was sleeping with you. By the time that he got her off his lap and made up some half assed excuse as to why he needed to get out the office, you were nowhere to be seen. He did what he thought would work and that was by going down to Joy’s office to find you. 

Knowing that he’d probably stop there first, you skip going to her and instead hit the cafe down in the back of the building. You’re trying to hide out, in case he comes down, but when you spot Johnny making conversation with one of his favorite baristas, you immediately make way for him. “What are you doing here, stranger?” Hearing your voice, Johnny instantly turns his head towards you with a smile on his face. “My favorite secretary turned assistant.” The two of you get a coffee and you get lunch before moving to a table of your choosing and sitting down to catch up. You explain to him why you chose the least obvious table in the area and when you fill him in on your special activities with Haechan, he doesn’t seem surprised. “I’m honestly glad it’s happening, I was rooting for you two since y’all made that weird tension eye contact.” 

“Yeah, well there’s nothing to root for since I just caught him feeling up on his secretary.” With a pout, you fiddle with the rest of the food in front of you and Johnny gets a sense of the reason why you’re so affected. “Hey, at least you know now instead of later, saves you the trouble, right?” Looking up to meet his eyes, you nod. He wasn’t wrong, at least now you know that he might be or could have already had a thing going on between the two of them—but it doesn’t save you from the pain you feel in your chest that drops down to your stomach when you think about it. “Hey, I know this is kinda late, but he’s coming in hot from three o’clock.” Without a second to brace yourself or even try to find a way out of the situation you’re about to be in, Haechan comes running up to the table and he’s clearly out of breath. 

There’s a slight dew on his face and the hair fallen over his forehead is partly stuck. “I’ve been looking for you.” You’re surprised he got the sentence out while he tries to catch his breath. “Uh, here I am.” Johnny can see the tension between the two of you and you’re ever so thankful he decides to step in. “Not you, y/n, he obviously meant me because he knew I was coming today and you’re on your lunch break.” Johnny gives you a look with his eyes and you nod slightly while trying to get up from your seat. “Wait, no, but yes, I was looking for you too, but y/n, can you come with me for a moment?” 

“Uh, sure, but can we make it quick so I can finish my break?” He doesn’t respond nor does he acknowledge Johnny again before grabbing onto your wrist and guiding you to the bathroom area of the cafe. Once you got close, Haechan pulled you off to a corner and moved you to where your back was almost against the wall. “Where did you, wait let me rephrase that, why did you run off earlier?” You’re confused, why did it matter to him that you ran off and more importantly, why did he try so hard to find you just to ask you that. “I saw you were busy, so I left and took my break while I was at it.” He doesn’t buy it, you can tell by the expression on his face that he didn’t buy any of what you were saying. “That’s bullshit y/n, you know that I know that so just be honest with me.” 

You didn’t like the position you were in, your back was quite literally against the wall and your heart was on your sleeve, but you covered it to keep it safe. “I don’t see why this is a big deal so if you’re done interrogating me, you have a meeting in an hour and I can’t get it set up until I finish my lunch.” You can see the frustration on his face, his brows furrowed as he looked down into your unbothered gaze. With a shaking of his head, he backed away from you and made his way back through the cafe to grab Johnny. Staying in the corner, you took a moment to yourself to collect your thoughts till you peaked around to make sure they were both gone. When the coast was clear, you immediately made your way back up to Joy’s office and she seemed to be ready for you when you walked. 

The rest of the week went on and much didn’t change, you were giving Haechan the cold shoulder and he didn’t seem to want to push you to stay around him any longer than you wanted. The substitute secretary seemed to be spending more time in his office than you were and you didn’t dare to go in while the two of them were alone inside. Instead, you would move down a couple floors and spend your lunch hiding away in Joy’s floor talking amongst the media workers in hopes that they would take your mind off of Haechan. For the most part, they provided a good distraction and even Mark helped you by letting you talk out how you feel and giving you a perspective from a guy. Much to your surprise actually, you and Mark got somewhat close and when Joy was being whisked away by Jaemin, you sat around Mark’s desk area for you both to keep each other company. 

After the week was finished and the following came through, you expected some things to go back to normal now that the regular secretary was back, but much to your disappointment, the girl from floors down kept coming up for some dumb reason to get her hands around Haechan and the fact that he seemed to be enjoying it made you feel sick. You were doing your best ignoring the two of them and just keeping your nose in your own business when you had to be around him when she was there, but you couldn’t stop the longing feeling from telling you that it should be you he has his hands wrapped around and it should be you that he makes stupid jokes to when he finds he needs a distraction. This continues for the rest of the week and you still haven’t had much of a conversation with Haechan until the weekend comes and you’re sitting in your car with Mark after you two just left lunch.

“I can’t believe you’ve never had food like that before.” Mark wasn’t the best cook, to which you found out by him nearby burning down your kitchen, so when you suggested getting brunch instead the two of you immediately got on the road. “Listen, I’m a breakfast guy, but I’m not like a midday breakfast guy, you know?” Mark takes the aux, putting on a song you weren’t entirely familiar with. “What is this, is this why you still don’t get bitches?” Laughing, he’s almost more shocked that you don’t know the song playing over the fact that you basically said he has no game. “You’re telling me that you’ve never heard this song before?” Shrugging, you start the car and check your mirrors before pulling out the parked space. “Our music taste is clearly different.” 

“I guess you got a point, oh hey, you got a text.” Picking up your phone, he brings it close to you for you to unlock it and see if it was actually important or not. “It’s Haechan, he wants me to come by to get some papers before Monday.” You can tell Mark is confused as to why you’re needed over the weekend, but he also knows that maybe this would be the chance of you two finally talking this out and everything going back to a somewhat normal. Seeing how you were on the way to your house, you had to reroute and Mark was fine with tagging along for the drive. He secretly just wanted to see what kind of place Haechan lived in and you don’t blame him because you too were curious when you first went to his house. It didn’t take you long to get there, pulling in and putting the car in park before unbuckling your seatbelt. “I won’t be long, I promise.” 

Nodding, he throws up two thumbs and wordlessly wishes you good luck, to which you’re thankful for. You make your way up to his front door, knocking a couple times and wait only to end up with no answer. Just as you’re about to walk back to your car, the door swings open and Haechan is standing there while trying to catch his breath. You immediately see his shirt has been stretched out, almost as if it’s been pulled on and his shorts are loosely hugging his waist. “Y/n, I didn’t—I didn’t know you’d be here this quick.” You’re speechless, not knowing what to say or what to even think about until you see someone scrambling around in the back and low and behold, the same girl from the office comes rushing out. She doesn’t say much, only mumbling a sorry as she pushes past both you and Haechan to make her way down to the car she parked a bit further down. 

“Sorry, I didn't mean to cut your company time short.” You’re about to pivot around and go back to your car to let out a well needed cry, but Haechan has had enough and he grabs your wrist to keep you from running off. “Hold the fuck on, what is that supposed to mean?” You scoff, hating how oblivious he is to what has been running through your mind. You hate how oblivious he has been to how you’ve been acting and why you’re acting this way. You hate how badly it hurts to see him with her, with anyone else that isn’t you and you hate yourself for thinking of what could’ve been going on between them. “Just give me the damn papers and let me go on my way, I hate people waiting for me.” 

“Oh you mean that guy in your car? Guess you wasted no time hopping from me to him.” Walking off after letting go of his hold on your wrist, he stomps off towards his back office and you follow behind. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, I’m the one hopping around when you’ve been fucking some girl who worked with you for what, a week?” Haechan snatched up papers off his desk, walking out the room with frustration in his eyes. “Why does it even matter who I’m with or not, you’re not my girlfriend and we aren’t a thing.” Each word felt like a punch in the gut, the painful realization that all the little touches and each time he offered you to wear his shirt was because he was being nice, not because he had underlying feelings the same way you did. “I wasn’t even fucking her, she was trying to fuck me and I was trying to be respectful and keep her off my fucking lap, but you wouldn’t know that because you weren’t even around half the time.” 

“You’re right, I wasn’t around because seeing her hands on you and knowing that no matter how I felt about it would’ve changed anything.” Everything in his mind started to click and by watching the way you were shutting him out right in front of him was enough for him to realize you wanted more than what you two had going on. “Y/n, can we just—“

“Just give me the papers so I can take Mark home, the guy I’m not fucking by the way.” He was hesitant, holding out his hand for you to take them in hopes that you’d change your mind and stay. There was so much that wasn’t talked about and so much that needed to be said and the last thing he wanted was for you to walk away. Instead, you grabbed the papers from his hand and walked out of the house without another word coming from you. Mark could tell you were upset and judging by the way you were fighting back your tears, he didn’t say anything and for the rest of the car ride, it was silent. 

Since you last saw Haechan at his house, over a month had passed and so much changed from that day forward. The following week, you got an email saying that you’d be returning back to your original position and part of you hated yourself for letting all of this happen the way it did. Many nights Joy spent time in your apartment with you, holding you on the couch while you cried yourself to sleep night after night. When she wasn’t able to comfort you, she either sent Jaemin and his friend Jeno to keep you company or she asked Mark to sit with you till she had the time to come back over. She even went as far as asking your neighbor Renjun to check on you periodically and he wasn’t opposed to the request, just a little bit concerned. That same first week you went back to being the secretary, Haechan sent you an email at the end of the week stating he’d be going out of town. You were sad over the thought of him not being here, even if he only passed by you a couple times a day unless you went in to give him paperwork. 

Johnny came in to sit in for Haechan when meetings were happening, not budging when you asked him where he might be. He always said something along the lines of, “I don’t know what he’s doing, but where he’s at is where he needs to be.” That went on for weeks on end and the love you had for your job slowly started to fade. After another half month had passed, you started to feel like coming into work was more of a chore and less of a joy and that was when you decided to put your final notice in. Johnny didn’t want to accept it when you presented it to him, but he knew that after the shit storm you had been through, maybe this would be best for you. The few floors you had worked on before threw you a party the week before your last considering as you didn’t plan on coming that last week and everyone gave you the best farewell hug as the party started to die down. You’re going to be sad, deeply sad to leave the job you worked so hard for to get where you were, but you were just hoping that it would be the right decision. 

That’s what keeps you up at night, the thoughts of this either going south and you feeling even more lost and out of place or if this will be the beginning of a new chapter of your life and maybe you’ll finally find peace. The sound of rain crashing down against your windows was in a way washing away your thoughts for you to revisit in the morning and you’re just about to doze off until you hear a banging on your door. At first, you think it’s the thunder outside and choose to close your eyes and try to go to sleep. You hear another banging and by now you’re convinced it’s urgent. Getting up from your bed, you walk through your apartment and out to your door. 

When you get closer to the door, you see Renjun’s jacket laying across the arm or your couch and figure it’s him at the door waiting for his return. Twisting the knob, you pull the door open and you’re almost shocked—actually no, you are definitely shocked to see Haechan standing in front of you. Soaked from head to toe, the jacket he is wearing did him no justice to protect him from the cold weather that is still coming down hard just a couple feet away. “Hyuck, what are you—weren’t you just, actually what the hell is wrong with you?” Shivering, he goes to speak, but the lightning striking in the background is too loud for him to get decent words out. You reach out, pulling him into your apartment and shut the door behind him. 

You rush down to get towels for him to dry off and it doesn’t do much work for either of you, so you opt for him to take a shower and pull out some of the clothes you had from his house for him to wear. While he was still showering, you made a hot cup of tea and set it on the coffee table for him when he got out. With a towel draping over his head, he comes out and immediately heads to the living room where he saw you pass. You’re sitting on the couch, fiddling with the remote to put something on for background noise when he plops down beside you and reaches out for the cup. Much to his delight, you made it just the way he likes and he silently thanks you for that. Once you find something decent to put on, you set the remote down and let him settle a little while sipping on his cup. 

“Hyuck, what are you doing here and why were you soaking wet?” Haechan is thankful you’re the first one to break the ice, sitting up to set his cup down before leaning back into the couch and turning to face you. “I got back into town and Johnny told me you were leaving, I know it’s late and I didn’t know what to do to stop you or even where to find you, so I looked up your employee file and immediately made my way to you.” You stay silent, knowing there is more he wants to get out, but just has to find the right way to say it. “I didn’t mean to leave after we last talked, I didn’t want to leave things like that, but my mom needed me and I immediately went home to help and I was gone and I didn’t have time to focus on anything, but please believe me when I say all I could think about was you.” It shouldn’t have made you feel all warm inside, but it did. Knowing that he was gone and how badly you needed him here and him needing you there made all the butterflies in your stomach start to flutter. “Please, say something.” 

“I really like you, regardless of how bad I wanted to hate you for being the biggest dick ever, I just couldn’t get over you and when you were gone, I really didn’t know what to do anymore.” Haechan was smiling from ear to ear, trying to hide the redness of his cheeks as you heard you clearly confess your feelings for him. “How about I make you a proposition?” Honestly, you’re a little intrigued when he reaches out and grabs your hands. Pulling you towards him, you have no choice but to move with him and climb into his lap. “How about you be my girlfriend and don’t quit.” Interlocking your hands with his, he rubs his thumb over yours and it brings the biggest smile to your lips. “And what’s in it for me?” Humming, he takes the moment to think about what he already knows he is going to offer. His lips form a pout and you swear in that moment he never looked more kissable than now. “How about, I got you and you got me.” Leaning in, you press your lips against his in a soft peck. “Deal.”

©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2023