#this is.............. self indulgent but w/e
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countless days pass by immeasurably;
anniversaries gutter in the maelstrom
#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#ldpdl#vampterview#louis#art#mine#*24#i made this a week ago + was on the fence abt posting it bc its v self indulgent but the new ep drops tonight so. why nottt#if les gets to be a rockstar or w/e then my special princess louis gets to be a goth. he looked soooo good in e7 w/ smeared eyeliner <3#i feel like he could like some goth music! prob more trad stuff than like industrial or rock. anyway i started looking into the history of#goth subculture + black culture in america bc i knew they had a connection (blues music/jay hawkins etc) and it was rly interesting#like thru blues it has a connection to new orleans. fun#i listened to attention dépression by les clopes on repeat during this lol. idk enough french to even begin to transcribe it tho
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college au roachghost where ghost is an architecture major and roach is a communications major:
they meet as first years who are randomly placed in the same dorm and end up just liking each other a lot and move into an apartment together after a year and just hang out with each other all the time and play video games etc. as they've spent more time together over the course of a couple of years they've gotten more and more physical with each other. it started out with just little touches here and there but eventually progressed to leaning on each other all the time, sitting pressed right up against each other, lying on the couch cuddling (like lying on top of each other style) to the point people think they're an item but they remain woefully oblivious to/don't particularly care about what people say about them
one night they're just hanging out playing 1v1 katamari damacy and roach is beating ghosts ass at it bc its his favorite game ever and ghost keeps moving closer and closer to him to try and distract him until hes fully sitting in his lap, chest to chest. roach is distracted by the game and doesn't even question why it makes him feel so good to have ghost so close to him like that, too caught up in lovingly teasing the only person he's ever let touch him at all. no one's ever touched him, let alone this much, but he just laughs and half-heartedly tries to look over his shoulder to keep playing, he giggles when ghost does as he leans forward and starts giving him shy kisses on the neck, subconsciously tilting his head to the side to give him more space. he doesn't even think twice about kissing back when ghost makes his way up to his face, kissing over his cheek and finally starts kissing him in earnest; it feels like the most natural thing in the world to have ghost on top of him, hands on his thick waist pulling him closer while ghost pushes him back into the couch cushions, leaning even more of his weight onto roach, getting his hands into roach's hair and sighing softly against him when he feels his best friend hug him tighter, and roach is so happy to be sharing himself and his space with the only person he's ever trusted enough to let get close
#yes you can play pvp katamari damacy#and if youve never played katamari damacy YOU SHOULD DO IT NOW#WE <3 KATAMARI IS THE BEST VIDEO GAME OF ALL TIME SHUT UP#roachghost#ghostroach#also ghost is always chubby to me#his tummy flops over the waistband of his pants always#his face is round and his cheeks are squishy#chubby legs and butt that squish into his pants#hes chubby and i love him#gary roach sanderson#simon ghost riley#cod roach#roach cod#roach call of duty#call of duty roach#roast#roach x ghost#ghost x roach#thank you for enjoying my self indulgence#healing my inner 20 year old or w/e#romantic kissing or platonic kissing the homies? whatever you prefer#they just feel happy and safe together and thats what matters most#they just love each other
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BIRTHDAY BOY........
Birthday boy with cake or present, such choices,,,
Another one of those situations where if the younger Grace Field kids present the crown to him he's on board with little to no fuss, especially if they frame it as a celebration of the day they started their path to freedom, or note it's the day where they first noticed where the way he carried himself was lighter and happier than how he was back at the house (but especially after Norman was shipped, although that's a sad time they all try to forget). And how can he say no to that when it shows how much they care.
(Norman being the one to originally find it while discreetly guiding Emma's attention toward it so she can throw 110% of her energy and enthusiasm behind him wearing it because "it matches your eyes when the sun hits them" and "they're happy every year they have a chance to celebrate it with him" optional.)
Pepe made the cake, but kept it a secret to pull a bit of a mini-prank on everyone.
He knew Ray would appreciate it after their many conversations in the quiet of the kitchen where it was just the two of them enjoying each other's company and getting lost in the soothing rhythm of cooking and baking.
#little bit early stateside but w/e#was too lazy to try to figure out how to edit his fingers just to hold the plate so it's perched on the stack of dishes#eh Mr. Do-It-All Ray as Sugita puts it can handle it#The Promised Neverland#TPN#FSS Asks#FSS Chatter#TPN Ray#Ray's Bday#TPN Birthdays#Ray#Grace Field Kids#Emma#Norman#Norrayemma#Purple-eyed Ray Tag#Big Bro Ray Tag#just checking off all my self-indulgent boxes with this one#Pepe & Ray bonding and friendship like in the beach story‚‚‚god tier stuff‚‚‚#hc works with either Ray genuinely considering asparagus his favorite food or him lying about it to mess with everyone#The Great Asparagus Discourse of 2023#part w/e#Escape Arc#Promised Forest Arc#TPN 038#TPN S2#TPN S2e01
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life has sucked ass lately (what a decade this year has been!) and will likely get worse before it gets better in the next few months, but i bought myself a pair of beautiful purple leather balmoral boots and maybe things will be okay.
#warring w/ myself over the financially responsible thing to do (return the boots. they're self-indulgent & unnecessary.)#and the thing i want (keep the boots. they're self-indulgent and you need things that make you happy right now.)#E is urging me to keep the boots. and they are the type of footwear that with a little patience breaking them in#i could see myself wearing to smithereens over the next several years & maybe eventually getting resoled if the uppers hold up#but also [vague inarticulate panic]#ctxt
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howdy
#turning silly thoughts into real thoughts >:]#not finishing this btw this was a 100% self indulgent sketch I wanted to do for the hell of it lmao#if you wanna use it for like idk coloring practice or w/e go ahead :]#ni no kuni 2#ni no kuni revenant kingdom#nnk2#nnk doloran#nnk alisandra#I have some other doodles to show but decided to post this one on it's own and post the others later
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Rain x shine bsf superiority <3
#i#might have become obsessed w something new#shoutout to welcome home for consuming my ever thought the past week or two <3#n e ways found out frank n julie were besties n thought wow who else do i know that has that energy???#so heres zane and aph cosplaying as frank and julie!!!!#this is so disgustingly self indulgent but im not sorry in the slightest#aphmau#mystreet#aphmau mystreet#zane ro'meave#julie joyful#frank frankly#welcome home#snek sketches#my art#aphmau fanart#welcome home fanart#fanart
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theres certainly a lot of interesting room for people to explore in fanfiction of like ‘what if this character was in a different situation how would they act’ but honestly i am personally so much of an AU hater so much of the time. especially when its a work that is largely shipping focused instead of a character study im so often just like ‘no! engage with the source material!’ it just feels like nothing to me once the connections become so tenuous beyond character’s names
i think this happened to me through being a baby communist middle schooler interested in history reading les mis fanfiction. i was always so ‘stop with the modern day coffee shop aus, no i dont care that you did it because les amis canonically meet in a cafe. you’d better start researching 19th century french radicals’
#ive barely read fanfic in years but i started looking for oofuri character studies and such earlier this week and its making#my teen opinions come back in full force. like sorry i kind of just dont give a fuck if theyre not and never have played baseball.#this is kind of contradictory of me when the fanwork i ever was most excited about making was a yowamushi pedal wrestling au#that was semi shipping focused instead of just character study or w/e. but i do think that wrestling maps really well to the type of sports#anime that yowapeda is so that it doesnt feel like its totally disconnected. but in the end that was intentionally a very self indulgent#project and its simply that other peoples self indulgent aus are not meant for me either#plus ig that i have more distaste for stuff that feels like its not engaging with the canonical setting because its inconvenient or require#research so it flattens it to a more stock trope-y setting instead. if youre like really passionate about something else random but that yo#feel theres a thematic hook to in the source material and then put in a lot of effort transposing that you can maybe convince me#cpost
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Not pictured: Ezra and Kanan making dramatic gagging noises/gestures off to the side
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self shipping community#self insert community#self insert art#star wars#star wars rebels#sw rebels#captain rex#rebels rex#💙 oh captain my captain 💙#ahdjfjgm JUST BEEN INDULGING THESE SOFT FEELINGS#sometimes....drawing random generic fluffy stuff is GOOD#i feel like i put myself off bcs i feel like i need to be doing smth thats like. relevant or w/e#but I DUNNO#i make up weird rules for myself#i deserve nice soft stuff like this#especially w all the angst ive been thinking about lately 😅😅😅#so HERE WE GO#happy old ppl smoochin 💖💖💖
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I'm so tired of "he would not fucking say that" I'm so tired of blahblah therapy speech I'm so tired of "they wouldn't have communication skills that good" I'm so tired of endless debates on whether it's ok to let your characters tell each other I love you. and man yeah I get it there's ooc fic out there and I understand every one of those complaints individually and no two people's opinions on what is in character will ever align or we'd all be writing the same fics verbatim but I am so tired. of pretending the only imaginative and worthwhile way to write a character is to withhold from them the ability to express any emotion or affection or kindness because don't you know that nice is boring, and either you're writing the character wrong or you're into the wrong character, I'm tired of having to question character motives every time you write them doing or saying something nice but the moment you write them being assholes you are under no obligation to justify it I am tired
#to be clear I have also in so many occasions said “he would not fucking say that”#and exited the fic like an adult#but man. I am so unimpressed by the popular opinion that anything fluffy or slice of life or w/e#is inherently inferior and less complex and only “self-indulgent”#and it can't be what you write if you want to be taken seriously#like when I'm writing darker subjects i dont have to pay a LICK of attention to characterization if i dont want to#it'll be still seen as cool and deep and evocative as long as its edgy enough#but if I write fluff it has to be the most flawless thought-out character piece ever#to make up for being childish and “unrealistic” anyway#and at the end I still have to put up a haha I know it's implausible but sometimes I like it when good things happen disclaimer
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OKAY chapter 2 total wordcount 3120 if i don't move the fluffy ending to ch3 instead :) this is so exciting i'm finally entering actual smut territory like i originally planned this fic to be lol
#i'm also just proud of myself for being 2/5 of the way uwu#this is sooooooo self indulgent fr. hence the blushing. me pretending i don't want chuuya to take care of me too. w/e.
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#uhm so like i dig that ppl enjoy my dumb pt content but like???? i get so very very worried?#like idk sometimes i feel i dont deserve likes/reblogs/whatever for my stuff? also i tend to throw very self indulgent traits into it and#LIKE!!!! how do yall enjoy my product?#like imposter syndrome is real or something? or w/e#ANYWAYS im gonna go doodle more ph n shit n funni thangs
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it’s midnight remind everyone selina’s VERY situationally a switch but ALWAYS a top.
#THEY MADE ME A WEAPON THEN TOLD ME TO FIND PEACE.#unsfw /#[she gets off on control!! she needs it!! she needs to always have control SOMEWHERE!! if she TAKES control she’s INSATIABLE about it. she’s#so self-indulgent. if she TAKES control it’s because she W A N T E D to. never forget she is so very giving but also so very selfish. Selina#is delightful but boy howdy the levels of trust the levels of trust the l e v e l s of trust.]
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Someone to protect / Someone failed to save
(Alternatively: The “P’Li saw her late sister in her niece” to “Midori is Lien-Hua’s reincarnation” pipeline)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#sotrl midori#laf lien-hua#I missed when we decided that yeah this is canon but you know what I’m here for it#it’s about the tragic sibling pairs and history repeating itself and missed second chances#it’s about the irony of fate and the cycle of violence#it’s about Kat and Nia completely losing it with the self indulgence let’s be real here#anyway lore rant time:#the way reincarnation works in the avatar world is vague#like.. the avatar is the only confirmed person who can be reborn#but raava tells wan that they’ll be together in all his lifetimes like reincarnation is normal#and there’s that scrapped concept of momo being gyatso’s reincarnation so… safe to say it happens to everyone#and here are some of my headcanons about it:#normal humans can’t contact their past lives like avatars. you can get glimpses or strange dreams but that’s it#most people never find out what their past lives were like. usually only the most spiritual can connect with the universe or w/e#and get a fuller picture#but if you happen to spend a lot of time around places or people that you knew in your past life#like. say. if your past life’s older sister was now your surrogate auntie#then you’re more likely to get flashbacks#children are more susceptible to it but it happens to adults too#especially if you visit the place or get to know the person again after a long time. like. for example. sixteen years#and if your auntie actively sees her sister in you to the point of sometimes mixing up your names#the glimpses confuse Midori. a woman with golden eyes and a covered forehead who she feels so loved and cared by#a girl who looks scarily like her auntie but younger. more innocent. with no tattoo#a dark damp cold cell somewhere underground that fills her with nothing but dread and fear#she puts it together after a while and wishes she never did. she keeps it a secret. if she tells then no one will ever see her as her again#they will only see auntie’s unfortunate little sister who none of them knew… I’d talk more but there’s a tag limit so I’ll leave it here :/
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wanna revisit pinup model!ashton at some point.... i think that if they didnt get into mercenary work theyd prob have a lot of fun w modeling but. obv that didnt happen LOL (+art under the cut)
#ashy rambles :: ooc#ᴀꜱʜᴛᴏɴ ; ᴄᴀɴᴅʏ-ʙᴇᴀʀ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛɪᴇ-ᴘɪᴇ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇᴅ#lil embarrassed abt directly posting it bc its Highly self indulgent but w/e#if i delete later you didnt see it <3
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I think making Pokémon crossovers with Transformers is very fun.
Thinking in particular about Stormy having their team, which is: Sylveon, Lucario, Gardevoir, Arcanine, Mismagius, and Aurorus.
If you know anything about Pokémon, you know that the first three in that list are sensitive to the emotions of other beings in some capacity.
So basically what I’m saying is that occasionally Stormy (or some other human charge who happens to be closer) will be dragged over to a Cybertronian by those three because the amount of Sad coming from them is nuts and they know humans make these big metal things feel better.
They obviously know each bot’s charge but you know. Miko will do if Raf’s not present etc etc.
Creachurs.
#daphnis.docx#the oc tag#stormy#They definitely have trained their team but they are defo more akin to how we treat pets to Stormy#They don’t go out seeking battles basically#Emotional Support Pokemon#w/e w/e#Round two of self indulgence at 1 AM
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on the one hand, i really like working on the script for this video essay. on the other hand, it feels like im just being super negative and and a hater towards the entire toh fandom because they like making their dolls kiss
#im not trying to intentionally bash ships? but I also very rarely care about ships so#im worried this is just gonna come off as “ughhhh I hate fandom because theyre' always shipping stuff and I hate shipping”#which like. thats a little true but I actually do wanna talk about things yk#like why is this ship popular? why is this ship loved/hated by the fandom?#i dont know#like i spent 3 pages tearing into goldric for being boring and only existing bc people love snarky teen mlm#which is like. its true but also feels unecessarily harsh lmao#i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwww#i need more people to bounce ideas off of maybe#bc i am not super involved in the shipping side of fandoms#ive chatted w/ some people but mmmmmmm#idk. im definetly gonna ask if anyone wants to beta read my script but only once I actually. finish it#currently im like. maybe 3/8 of the way through it#lilac post#idk. feel free to talk 2 e about it in the replies of this post or smthn bc I loveeeee this topic#it's also like. The issue of. I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing#like someone's gonna come in here and he like “why are you being such a hater we're all just playing around and having fun leave us alone”#I'm not trying to bash any ships!!!#im just trying to be like okay here's what the ship#it's difficult to say what I'm doing#because it's partially A. Documenting of toh fandom and shipping culture#and B. Social commentary about that culture#which is kind of like. A weird balancing act#and it comes back to how much of what I'm complaining about actually matters?#At what point does it turn from thoughtful commentary to me bitching about the general fandom as a whole?#It's kind of difficult to explain what I'm even doing which is mmmmmm#Like does this actually matter?#then again. People make videos about stupid internet drama all the time and that definitely doesn't matter so#maybe I can be self indulgent and a bit of a hater#sigh
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