#this is your disaster speaking

[dorksndisasters]

While we're waiting for me to type up the main campaign sessions and the oneshots, would you like to see the other dnd stuff I've been writing?

It's largely back story for my oneshot characters so like Razz/Chant/Phorg etc

Also largely just disjointed scenes because I write whatever catches my interest in the moment lmao but hey. Some day it will be a cohesive whole

Anyway. Thoughts?

[cabeswaterdrowned]

unstoppable force (Adam’s canonical teacher kink) meets immovable object (Gansey being a professor’s soul in a teenagers body).

[dorksndisasters]

Hello it's a dnd focus weekend! Dorks is also up if you want more info! Them up there are from the oneshots, but y'know, everything is fair game ^^

Weekend WIP Game - DnD Edition

Here's the DnD edition of the weekend game!

Scenes are numbered etc, not necessarily in chronological order just in. uh. alphabetical order in obsidian...? it's all good I know where they are

The WIPS

Dumb of Ass, Snake of Tits (local dragonborn monk leaves the monastery, instantly falls in with the wrong crowd, somehow sticks the landing. Characters; Maverick, Nelaeryn, Venphina, Tosh (Temerity, Aria)). Scenes in progress; 16

Hunter’s Mark (local tiefling ranger gets hired to track down a company asset, ends up in the revenge business. Characters; Temerity, Aria (Maverick, Nelaeryn)). Scenes in progress; 3

The Many Lives of Makaria Trapeiros (local tiefling gets betrayed by her family, swears vengeances, wreaks vengeance, falls in love, fakes her death, runs away. Characters: Makaria/Luci/Chant, Pahzrasi, Lathlaeril, Telbi, Amos, Carbonne, Tosh, Karo (Maverick, Nelaeryn)). Scenes in progress; 7

The Ol' Razzle Dazzle (local goblin escapes a cult, learns magic, makes friends. Characters; Razmatazz, Maja Grothuul). Scenes in progress; 2

The Games

Three by Threes: For each filename you receive in your ask box, reply to the ask with 3+ NEW sentences on that WIP.

Lore Corner: Answer questions about your WIP. It can be anything from headcanons to backstory that you have for your WIP that don’t even make it into the fic. Askers - get creative with your questions!

[lhazaar]

hey. i'm turning my chair around and sitting in it backwards now because i want to speak specifically to people with ocd. this is a targeted post and is not meant to apply to the userbase of this website at large or to serve as a policy decision.

hi. do you know what scrupulosity means? it is a strong, intense, often painful concern about morality or religion. it's very common for religious people with ocd, actually—the fear that you've sinned, that you will sin, that your thoughts themselves are sinful. you're afraid of being an evil person. every thought and feeling you have is scrutinized to exhaustion in case it's proof that you're evil. this also happens for non-religious people with ocd, it's just that ours will look different; it's often a preoccupation with social justice issues. you care a lot about being a good person, right! most people do. you want to be a good person, you want to be kind to others and to dismantle oppressive systems where you can. i'm making some assumptions here, but they're based on my specific audience base.

so, there's this thing that happens online, especially on tumblr and twitter—not because bluh bluh platforms bad, but because of the ways in which information is propagated on here. people used to tag for these posts sporadically but don't do so as much anymore. you know posts that exhort you, the reader, specifically, to take action? they tell you not to look away, not to bury your head in the sand. they tell you to give and to agitate and to donate time, money, resources.

those posts used to make me intensely, deeply anxious. i don't mean mild agitation, i mean life-ruining, day-occupying panic that seizes your entire body, and thoughts that don't leave your brain. guilt that paralzyes you because you, personally, cannot go kill the politicians responsible. you don't have enough money to do more than donate a few dollars, and sometimes you don't even have that. but because of where you live, because of the fact that you have internet access and you're literate enough to read these posts, you know that you have a level of privilege that most people never will. you're aware of that privilege because you're reasonably in-tune with social justice movements and you've probably spent some time dissecting your own privilege to examine your biases. (that's not a bad thing; i'm not here to condemn that. stay with me, if you can.)

there's a thing that can happen if you've lived with ocd like this for a long time where you become kind of incapable of telling what's addressed to you personally and what isn't. everything feels like a personal exhortation. you have trouble saying no, or knowing when you're overextended, because other people have it worse. how dare you enjoy relative comfort when people are being bombed or drowning in a climate change -induced flood or being crushed to death in a crowd panic. how dare you not be aware of it at all times, always, constantly. how dare you look away. don't look away.

i want to tell you about something i went through, if that's okay. a lot of people who follow me will already know this, but i haven't talked about this aspect of it very much publicly. in 2020, while visiting my partner in southern oregon, we had to evacuate from wildfires twice in under 24 hours. that was a really, really bad fire season, caused and perpetuated by a combination of global climate change and colonialization practices that destroyed traditional indigenous fire management strategies across the west coast of north america. fires stretched from bc to california. we wound up fleeing south, and then had to flee back north again, hemmed in on three sides. i flew back home to bc shortly afterwards, and i have this vivid, awful memory of seeing my home mountain range, the cascades, choked out with smoke from the window of an airplane. the woman in front of me sobbed the entire time until we touched down.

i remember thinking at that time that it was insane the entire world wasn't stopping. what i was experiencing was apocalyptic in scale—the fire we ran from the first time was part of a complex that chewed up entire towns. it wasn't the first fire season, nor the worst for the continent, nor the world. but all i could think in the moment was why aren't we doing anything, this is going to be all of us in a decade, why are people looking away.

if i had gone online and posted that, it would not have been morally wrong of me. there's no ascribing morality to a reaction like that. i mean, if i'd gone to someone who suffered in the years prior in australia or california and told them that ours was So Much Worse, that would have made me an asshole, but i didn't do that. i made some upset facebook posts targeted at the trump voters in my family, but i had no way to express at the time the sort of clawing panic of WHY AREN'T PEOPLE DOING ANYTHING??

the answer to that, which you probably know, is: what would they have done? we were sheltered by friends we evacuated with, but what power did a mutual in new york or wales or singapore have to affect a wildfire in oregon?

so, come back to the present day with me again, if you will. i said above that posts worded like this used to make me really, really anxious. in the span of time after the fire, i developed ptsd, and my ocd ruined my life. i took an extra year to graduate after i'd finished all my coursework because i could not send in the forms required. i was too busy spending 10-16 hours a day rearranging furniture in my room, or lying in bed, full-body tense, until it felt like my teeth would crack from the pressure. i'm medicated now. i'm grateful for it. i have more tolerance for these posts because i've been there. i know the op isn't doing anything wrong, because they're not wrong. why isn't the world stopping to look at a natural disaster, or a genocide? the world should not be like this.

you are not the world. you are someone with a brain that will torture you to death given the chance. you know how learning to reckon with your privileges, whatever they may be, requires you to not try and escape them? you need to be able to hold in your head that yes, you benefit from something that isn't fair; yes, other people should have that benefit, and that they don't is unjust. but you need to, for example, not try and weasel your way out of being white because you're uncomfortable with the guilt that it produces. you need to not go online and say well not ALL americans because you can't sit with the idea of being complicit in american imperialism. if you have ocd, you need to apply that to your own brain, too. you need to apply it to every post that you see. you need to know that people are not speaking directly to you, they are crying out in pain and fear. they are not doing anything wrong. they are scared and hurting.

they do not benefit from you taking on all the guilt of that fear and pain. i am not saying this to absolve you of the guilt. i am saying that you need to be able to exist with that level of guilt without allowing it to paralyze and destroy you. if you can't do that right now, i'm not here to cast judgement on you. blacklist phrases. i had "wildfire" blacklisted for a long time. i'm sure i missed aid posts because of it. the alternative was me being nonfunctional. for a long time, i had donation posts blacklisted across the board, because the way my ocd worked meant that i was neurologically incapable of knowing where my own limits were, and i would give money i did not have. if you need to do that, this is me giving you permission. doing this does not make you evil. it does not make you morally bankrupt. it makes you someone whose brain is trying to fucking kill them, and the world needs you to not let that happen.

this is not a post about how you're exempt from caring about the world if you're mentally ill, it's about how you cannot apply that care to anything useful if you're having massive panic spirals every other day about the guilt that you feel. your guilt should not rule your life. if it does, i say this kindly, but you very likely need medication. i'm sorry if you don't have access to that right now. you cannot think your way out of ocd. you cannot think your way into stopping neural activity. you cannot guilt your way into being a good person; you have to be able to exist with the guilt and not let it rule you in order to do that. nobody benefits from your brain trying to martyr you in the name of solving the world's suffering.

you need to be able to function, free of crushing and paralyzing guilt, before you can help anyone. you are not an effective ally like this just because your brain tells you that it's necessary.

[emil1863]

older au

[shima-draws]

Ahaha. I’m sorry. I must have read that wrong. Izuku lost his WHAT

[dennisboobs]

14x03 // Dee Day

↳ Dennis & Charlie + the kiss

[percabeth4life]

Not being able to write when I have multiple chapters for fics I need to update plotted out fully, multiple new fics in progress of plotting or completely plotted out and literally nothing to do at work is killing me.

[darth-sonny]

just thinking about overprotective prime!Donnie, and how he’s only ONE (and that's being really fucking generous) bad word towards Leo away from committing unstoppable manslaughter

random yōkai @ Leo: what's up with all those ugly fucking scars on your face??

Donnie, rising from behind the yōkai, cocking his custom ninpō-made 12-gauge shotgun with a pissed-off grin: I'm sorry what the actual diddly FUCK did you just say??????

[owlbelly]

showing up to anti-zionist community rosh hashanah services tonight like "hello i am ready to weep & maybe do some arson. does anybody want to burn anything down"

[dorksndisasters]

Oh hilarious I have misinterpreted/misremembered tiefling lore in the pursuit of Chant's backstory

This is... hm this is fine I can swing with it. Or ignore it! This is my sandbox and I do what I want!

[anarkhebringer]

I woke up to this and am really thinking about this

[dorksndisasters]

I'm answering questions over on my writing blog! Obvs questions are welcomed at all points, but y'know ;)

oh beans I knew there was another reason I went on here lmao anyway

running out of time before I go to work but y'all know I'm gonna be kicking about at work bc uhhh yeeah. well.

Anyway weekend game? same stuff as last weekend! Except I'm in my own flat this time!

The WIPs

Shapeshifter wip (Syn/Halliel, fantasy, star crossed lovers (fun little shapeshifter spy dude and the War that is Coming))

Soul of the Party (fantasy, light detective shenanigans)

DnD (specific characters are; Maverick, Tem, Chant/Luci/Makaria, Razmatazz, Tosh, Karo, Phorg (specific file names; Dumb of Ass, Snake of Tits; The Life and Lies of Makaria Chant; Always Yearned to be a Concert Pianist. Raz/Tosh/Karo/Tem don't have specific titles yet jsksks))

Dorks 'n' Disasters (fate based ttrpg currently in edits. Full first arc draft can be seen at @dorksndisasters)

But hey listen if you want to ask about any of the others, go crazy go wild

The Games

Three by Threes: For each filename you receive in your ask box, reply to the ask with 3+ NEW sentences on that WIP.

Lore Corner: Answer questions about your WIP. It can be anything from headcanons to backstory that you have for your WIP that don't even make it into the fic. Askers - get creative with your questions! (If you are playing Lore Corner, please give a single-sentence description of each of your WIPs so askers have some context)

[the-potato-beeper]

i've got an interview today! it's just to see if i'll do this job as an undergrad baby-TA again next semester, so i'm not too worried. it'll only be 15 minutes, and i've been fine with the job this semester

[the-force-awakens]

i was thinking about how everyone seems to think poe is the new han because they're both charming and i was like 'han is not charming, he's grumpy as shit and he has no game -' and promptly realized that i just described another oscar isaac blorbo of mine: marc spector

[princessnijireiki]

like no offense & not to aim this specifically bc, yk... when you're Black you do get used to this happening a lot... but when the friend / the fam / the moot has a Non Black Moment™ the vibe is LITERALLY always "smh it be ya own peoples 😒😔" mixed with that Community scene