#this is why strange women lying in ponds distributing swords

[lyntergalactic]

tonight i'm thinking about the fact that, if the darksaber and defeating the previous holder thereof is the way to become mand'alor, and you do succession elder wand style

one of the disaster lineage should be mand'alor

GO WITH ME ON THIS

so maul has the saber and is ruling, right. and then sidious beats him which would make him mand'alor. from there you can go a couple ways:

mace beats palps, anakin beats mace, obi-wan beats anakin, anakin kills obi-wan, line technically ends with anakin

anakin eventually defeats sidious for good, line dies with anakin

number one but the line ends with obi-wan because he technically didn't fight back against anakin at the end there and threw the fight

OR if you say palps doesn't count because he wasn't fighting maul for mandalore, ahsoka should be mand'alor

i cannot stop laughing about this

[hollowwhisperings]

Kingdom Key & Kingdom Hearts: A SoRiku Theory

The Kingdom Hearts series (& its creators) actively emphasizes the ways that its primary protagonist, Sora, is a "normal, ordinary boy". Yet Sora wields the iconic Kingdom Key, the Ultima Keyblade & even a x-blade (as forged by Xehanort): Sora's Story has been that of a Chosen One, even as he fits the archetype of one "Unchosen".

This theory explores the nature of Choice within the KH series, specifically in the context of "Destiny" and prophecies. It employs the "Riku is The Light" & "Necklace" theories, as well as elements of "Sleeping Realm". It also casts Riku as one of those Strange Women in Ponds who Distribute Swords as a Basis of [Galactic World Order].

Sora's story seemingly begins as a Classic Hero's Journey only for such a reading to fall flat when Expectations such as "Getting The Girl" and "Becoming a Keyblade Master" pointedly do not happen.

The driving force of the KH series has always been Riku: Riku wished to see worlds beyond his home, knowing the truth of the KH Multiverse well before proof literally crashlanded in the form of Kairi (a literal shooting star).

It is Riku's Heart that drew the attention of the Worlds at large to the Destiny Islands: the brightness of his light lead Terra, Aqua & Xehanort to meeting Sora in the first place.

Terra chooses Riku as a future Keyblade Master.

Aqua chooses Sora for the sake of preserving Riku's Light, the events of BBS teaching her that the strongest lights cast the longest shadows.

Xehanort chooses Riku as a Dark Vessel, whispering to him & encouraging him to doubt, to mistrust.

It is assumed, by Sora and by Riku, that Riku was also the person responsible for "opening the door" to the Darkness that felled the Destiny Islands. Yet throughout his childhood, each attempt by Riku to open the mysterious door on the play island failed and, when Darkness Falls, it is Kairi who is found at its source (Kairi, who had been expelled from her home by a version of Xehanort & whose heart harboured yet another fragment of the Seeker of Darkness).

Regardless of whether he truly opened the Destiny Islands to Darkness, Riku believed it & through Darkness did he find "freedom" to explore the Worlds Beyond, just as he had always dreamed... except for one, rather significant detail becoming derailed: Sora's presence by Riku's Side.

The two were separated and Sora was almost lost: even with Darkness swallowing Riku whole, the light within his Heart acted in time to save Sora by entrusting to him 'Kingdom Key'. Riku's Keyblade. A physical manifestation of Riku's Heart.

(notably, the "Kingdom Key-D" found by King Mickey was found not too far from the scene where Kingdom Key manifested: it is plausible that this keyblade was also manifested by Riku's Heart, perhaps alongside its 'Light' counterpart - I'd need to check the timeline to see how such a theory holds up)

Kingdom Key was entrusted to Sora, a subconscious act of Riku's Heart that mirrored an earlier act of protection Riku gave to Sora: on the night where Kairi fell to the Destiny Islands, a young Sora felt frightened and a young Riku swore to protect his dearest friend. This oath was sworn in turn sworn by Sora to Riku. They sealed these oaths with tokens they held close: while Sora's charm gifted to Riku remains unknown, Riku entrusted Sora with a crown charm he had had since infancy.

When Riku was 5, Riku entrusted Sora with his Crown. Both boys swore to protect the other.

When Riku was 15, Riku's Heart entrusted itself to Sora in the form of 'Kingdom Key'.

When Riku was ~16, he subconsciously protected Sora by becoming the latter's Dreamel Eater. Within the same timeframe, Riku sacrificed himself entirely to save Sora at the Keyblade Graveyard (an act of sacrifice, an act of True Love).

At every instance where Riku has been at a crossroads, knowingly or not, his Heart has Chosen Sora's: Riku, presumed descendant of Ephemera and a child of the Destiny Islands, has always & continues to choose Sora.

When the pair were reunited in KH2 and confronted the threat of Xemnas, the two fought as one & passed their keyblades between each other intuitively

When the pair existed in parallel realms of Sleep, separated but connected, their heartbeasts joined to form a Waltzing variation of the melody 'Dearly Belove'. They then fought in sync with a Combined Blade, formed from the keyblades "Mirage Split" and "Nightmare's End", acting again as two halves of a whole.

When Riku was to meet his end in the Realm of Darkness, far within the abyss, Sora appeared to him and they once again wielded their Combined Blade. Beast had once reaponded to a 15 year old Riku's questioning of his impossible arrival to Hollow Bastion, where Beast's Beloved Belle was held hostage, that he had "simply believed": belief brought Sora to Riku in the Realm of Darkness, belief brought Sora to the Final World in the wake of Riku's Ultimate Sacrifice.

The premise of Kingdom Key & its counterpart, Kingdom Key-D, being Manifestations of Riku's Heart & indicative of Riku's being the "Child of Destiny" does run into some Logistical Obstacles.

One, if Riku's Keyblade is being wielded by Sora (& Mickey, assuming the two keys were originally one) then whose keyblade is Riku wielding?

Two, how can Riku's Heart manifest multiple keyblades? Posession by Ansem Seeker of Darkness explains 1 of the "extra" keyblades (the key of "all hearts"). The bequeathing ceremony by Terra could explain another. Kingdom Key-D is definitely connected to Kingdom Key yet never specifically associated with Riku, evem being wielded by King Mickey (a stranger to Riku, at that point).

To the first: if Riku's keyblade is being wielded by Sora (& its counterpart by King Mickey), how can Riku wield another keyblade in KH1 even before getting possessed?

There are several immediate & varyingly plausible explanations: Riku's nature as a "Child of Destiny" allowing his Heart to churn out keyblades on demand like some Fey Lady of Avalon; or the other keyblades were not actually manifested by Riku at all.

While I greatly enjoy the imagery of Riku playing the "Lady of the Lake" to Sora's "Arthur" in KH1, given Sora's opening dream sequence already set Riku as being stuck in a Body Of Water (which is additionally representative of Darkness), it is Stretching Things to assume all other Plot Focused keyblades were ALSO fished out from Riku's Heart.

Perhaps Riku's Heart simply conjured new keyblades in response to Sora's Heart taking in new quests: Riku's Heart supplying keys to the metaphoric doors of Sora's Heart Hotel.

It is more likely, however, that the "new" keyblade wielded by Riku (the one currently known as "Braveheart") is a manifestation of SORA'S Heart: Riku entrusted his crown & his heart to Sora, first on the night of the Meteor Shower & then on the night the Islands Fell; Sora, in turn, entrusted his sword & heart to Riku. It explains how each boy readily wields the keyblade of the other & fits within the theme of their hearts beating in sych.

Riku choosing Sora, Riku's entrusting his Heart (literally & figuratively) with Sora, resulted in Destiny Itself 'choosing' Sora: if Riku represents Kingdom Hearts, the subject of his love would naturally become beloved by the Worlds in turn.

Sora acting as "[the] One Sky, One Destiny" due to Sora having the 'Heart' of Destiny through its child (Riku)'s love.

Sora is not only Riku's Dearly Beloved, Sora is THE "Dearly Beloved": beloved by the Worlds, entrusted with their Hearts & appointed their Savior. And all because, dull and ordinary boy that he may be, it is Sora's naturally normal self that Riku fell in love with. Sora may not be any more innately special than anyone else but Sora is special to RIKU, the love between them (knowingly or not) serving as the driving force of their stories & of Destiny itself.

[icecreambeach]

"Why did Din mansplain manipulate malewife his way into giving Bo the Darksaber when he wouldn't give it to Paz?" 1) Paz Vizsla—who up to that point had solely been presented by the narrative as a loyal Mandalorian and Professional Din Djarin Hater (we love him for it)—rolled up to my man Din like "maybe you suck at the Darksaber because it belongs to me because my ancestor made it." (tBoBF, S1E5.) Then he directly challenged Din to a duel. If you think Din wouldn't respond to that with "hell yes let's fucking go," then you don't understand Din.

2) Bo-Katan had already refused to accept the Darksaber from Din and did NOT challenge Din to duel for it even though she had ample opportunities to do so. She could've challenged Din in her own throne room. It certainly would've helped her get her squad back so she could retake Mandalore! But she'd given up. She lost faith.

3) By the time Din and Bo are before Axe and the fleet, Bo has proven herself a capable leader many times over. She's had a genuine come-to-Mythosaur moment, she rescued Din, she's performed the highest of Mandalorian services by rescuing a child, AND she's been honored by the covert's leader (Din's leader) to work to bring other Mandalorians back to the Way. Also she was literally trained as a leader from birth (not JUST born to it, which Mandalorians *SHOULD not care about.)

4) Din cares about two things: Grogu, and being a good Mandalorian. Being a good Mandalorian in that instance meant following his alor's word and ensuring that Bo-Katan be successful in her appointed mission to bring Mandalorians together. It didn't matter to him up until that point because the Darksaber ONLY matters to the people who believe it matters. "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!"

5) So my boy (who demonstrated throughout that episode—and even before—that he's very good at sussing out the reasoning methods of an individual/group and utilizing those methods to further his own goals,) thought about it for 5 seconds and figured out a way to convince Axe and the others (and Bo, for that matter) that, actually, this stupid shit I mean super important symbol belongs to Bo. He used the group's own programming (lol droids) against them.

6) "But using that logic it would ACKCHULEE belong to—" Great, you've figured out how stupid the Darksaber bylaws are. That's the whole point.

*There are some Mandalorians who do care about bloodlines but they suck and it goes against OG Mandalorian culture.

[theladyofbloodshed]

Acotar but make it monty python

Rhys: I am your high lord!

Illyria: Well, we didn't vote for you.

Rhys: You don't vote for high lords.

Hewn City: Well, how did you become high lord, then?

Rhys: The Mother, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Gwydion from the peak of Ramiel that I, Rhysand, was to carry Gwydion. That is why I am your high lord!

Nesta: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical mountainous ceremony. [x]

[specksizedgoddess]

Haii!! Is your pfp a persona/oc?? What's your favorite cambrian animal? Do you think that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is a good form of government? I think eve is a very pretty name i hope you have a good day peace and glove

hiiii!!!!

- Yup! Its a drawing of my mousegirl sona that the LOVELY @forrest-fox-0w0 drew for me. I cannot thank Dio enough <333

- you KNOW I have to stick with my girl Opabinia 😤😤

- Hell yes. HELL. YES. The stranger the women, the deeper the pond, the cooler the swords, the better

- And thank you!!! There is a cool, poetic reason why I chose it, and also (and mainly) a dumber reason why -w-

[waitingforwinterwinds]

ASOS; Steel and Snow: 11 JAIME II (pages 146-160)

The BROad-trip continues as the team finds an inn along the river, where they pick up some local gossip and some horses to continue the journey overland.

-

"Did you kill them?" "Would i tell you if I did?" The man spat. "Likely it were wolves' work, or lions, what's the difference? The wife and i found them dead. The way we see it, this place is ours now."

And ain't that just a summary of it all: the smallfolk don't know or care who's responsible, all they know is someone in charge is killing them, and they're left to scrape up a life in the aftermath as best they can.

... omg, Brienne and Jaime getting the vibes, meanwhile Cleos is all 'la-lala-lala, what a lovely inn, time for a kip~"

idjit.

Cleos, you bring down the IQ of the entire party... he's going to get himself killed, isn't he? I can half imagine this as a tabletop, and the player just "it's what my character would do" attitude, while everyone else throws scrunched up note paper and "stop trying to get us killed in the first session!"

"He may have been lying about the river as well, to put us on these horses," the wench said, "but I could not take the risk. There will be soldiers at the ruby ford and the crossroads."

ruby = 🥛 I'm thirsty, so it counts.

Jaime! stahhhhp. Stop thinking mean things about Brienne!

"- Aerys had Ser Ilyn Payne's tongue torn out just for boasting that it was the hand who truly ruled the Seven Kingdoms. the captain of the Hand's guard, and yet father dared not try and stop it. -"

Ohhhhh, so that's what happened to his tongue and why.

"Tell me true, one kingslayer to another - did the Starks pay you to slit his throat, or was it Stannis? (...) Or perhaps your moon's blood was on you. Never give a wench a sword when she's bleeding."

*smacks Jaime with the steel chair* be thankful I'm not hitting you harder Mr. PMS jokes. And the only reason for that, by the way, is because I'm aware you're deflecting from your own trauma and guilt re: killing Aerys. You chose a shitty way to go about it though. Stop it.

I feel like I'm becoming more liberal with the application of chair as we go on. This series has changed me. (joking)

But when he closed his eyes, it was Aerys Targaryen he saw, pacing alone in his throne room, picking at his scabbed and bleeding hands. The fool was always cutting himself on the blades and barbs of the Iron Throne.

"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the silly sword-chair, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

Yeah, and the silly sword-chair doesn't like you, Aerys!

I do like that the people who do get cut all seem to be the kind of folks who you'd think "oh of course they're unworthy, they are selfish and cruel" when you hear they get cut, and it perpetuates the idea that the Throne cuts the unworthy.

But also, the only real time we've seen that thought from someone on the Throne was from Ned, and he was well aware how dangerous the chair was.

... Jaime needs therapy for what happened during the rebellion, and probably before that as well.

They broke their fast on oatcakes , alt fish, and some blackberries that Ser Cleos had found, and were back in the saddle before the sun came up.

I don't know that I'd trust berries from Ser Cleos, he doesn't seem that bright. (I'm being mean, I'm aware.)

Luckily (fun fact incoming) there's a good chance the berries are fine.

Fun Fact:

While roughly 50% of red berries are poisonous, 90% of blue/black/purple skinned berries are edible.

[keijidraws]

All Hail the King

For the people that weren’t happy about the narutop99 results here’s some Monty python for you.

King Arthur: I am your king.

Peasant Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Peasant Woman: Well, how'd you become king, then?

[Angelic music plays... ]

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis the Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

[the-wolf-and-his-unicorn]

King Arthur: I am your king.

Peasant Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Peasant Woman: Well, how'd you become king, then?

[Angelic music plays... ]

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis the Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#168):

First watch: Hitchcock’s third feature, the 1927 silent The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog, which established him as a 'thriller master'. It shows an early fascination with themes that will occupy him for decades: An innocent man falsely accused, association between sex and murder, his obsession with blondes, the fear of authority. 9/10.

🍿  

5 Classic re-watches:

🍿 "The worst thing that can happen in sports was 4th-place at the Olympics.”

My 3rd or 4th visit with Aaron Sorkin's masterful debut, Molly's Game [His two follow-up features 'The Trial of the Chicago 7' and 'Being the Ricardos' were forgettable]. Why is it so engaging? Mostly for the impeccable script which should be read simultaneously. But also, for the sharp dialogue, crisp editing, and spectacular performances from Jessica Chastain. A real-life champion superhero, who excels in anything she sets her mind to, a mesmerizing strong women, with a vulnerable father-daughter hole in her heart.

It also featured powerhouse acting from everybody else in the cast, the male pigs (Kevin Costner, Jeremy Strong, Michael Cera, Brian d'Arcy James, Bill Camp, Chris O'Dowd) and the two 'Mensches' (lawyer Idris Elba and judge Graham Greene). I loved that the move from LA to NYC happened at exactly 1:08, the precise mid-point of the movie, but then you wouldn't expect anything else from the play-writer, would you? 10/10. ♻️

🍿 There are movies that most people will only watch once, and Schindler's List is on top of the list. But after 'The Zone of Interest' I had to re-visit it, feeling that it probably did not age well, and wouldn't compare to ‘Zone’, (which I consider the Best movie of 2024, so far). I was mostly wrong: It was 'Auschwitz given the exaggerated Spielberg treatment', with atrocious accents and manipulative sentimentality, but it's still better than most holocaust films. Schindler was converted from being a war profiteer into a saint, and Amon Göth stayed a mad monster in and out. 'Night and fog' and 'Shoah' are still better introductions to the subject, without the usual Hollywood simplified glorification. ♻️

🍿 The Dark Side of the Rainbow is the pairing of the Pink Floyd album 'The Dark Side of the Moon' with the film 'The Wizard of Oz'. This produces numerous moments of apparent synchronicity where the film and the album appear to correspond. It does work, but the record has to be played 2.5 times, which raises the possibility that you could tack it on most anything. Two psychedelic classics. Flying monkeys, pink horses and the man behind the curtain. Available on 'Internet Archive'. ♻️

🍿  "Let's invent surrealism!" said Buñuel to his creative buddy Salvador Dalí, probably while on ether – or absinthe. And so they did. First with 'Un Chien Andalou' and the following year with L'Age d'Or. It must have been so heady to create so much outrage and be so misunderstood. Everything that was holy, acceptable, and "normal" was trampled down and pissed on. And the scandals which followed were disruptive, the shocks sweet. Subversive, anti-bourgeois, Wagnerian. ♻️

🍿 "How do you know so much about swallows?" Monty Python and the Holy Grail, (or as it was called in Japanese "Holy Sake Cup"), one of the greatest comedies of all times, and containing 527 jokes. I didn't remember that the "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords" concept originated here, at the 'self-perpetuating autocracy' scene. So quotable! 9/10. ♻️

🍿  

"I bid you good night..."

J-P Melville's minimalist directorial debut, The silence of the sea. During the occupation, an elderly man and his niece are forced to give shelter to a Nazi officer at their home in the country. The conscientious German tries to engage them with respectful dialogue every night, but their only response to him, their only way of resistance, is with total silence. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. (Photo Above).

🍿  

My Favorite Wife, another Cary Grant vehicle, belonging to the 'Comedy of re-marriage' sub-genre, which was popular in the 30's and 40's ('The Philadelphia Story', etc.). He's marrying a second wife, but gets back with first wife Irene Dunne who was presumed dead. But mostly, it's notable for the visibly bisexual vibes between him and real-life boyfriend Randolph Scott.

🍿  

2 more from Paweł Pawlikowski:

🍿 "My mum loves men who make her cry..."

Last resort (2000), my 6th soulful film by favorite Polish director, his first in English. A young Russian woman comes to England with her 10-year-old son, but the man she thinks of as her fiance, never shows up at the airport. She gets desperately stuck in a bureaucratic limbo while waiting for a political asylum she had asked for by mistake, until she meets decent guy Paddy Considine, another lonely "fucked up" soul. The run-down seaside town of Margate looks grim and unpleasant. 7/10.

🍿 Before venturing into fiction, Pawlikowski was known for his documentaries. Dostoevsky’s Travels was an early 1991 one. It's a strangely-staged story not about Fyodor Dostoevsky the novelist, but about Dimitri Dostoevsky, his tram-driver great-grandson and only descendant. Dimitri leaves St. Petersburg for Berlin, Luxembourg and London, trying to cash in on his ancestor's good name among literary fans in the west, so that he can buy a used Mercedes Benz, and bring it back to Mother Russia. It sounds like fiction made by Borat, and maybe it is.

🍿  

My first Kaiju film ever, the original Godzilla (1954), the giant monster. A collective Japanese reaction to the destruction caused by the Atomic bombing, with identical shots of incineration and devastation. With 'Ikiru's Takashi Shimura. With the exception of 'Jaws', I don't think I ever had any interest in disaster movies like this. 2/10.

Extra: Fire! (1901), one of the first 'Disaster films' ever, and my third short by Scottish pioneer James Williamson. Showing firefighters rescuing victims from a house fire.

🍿  

Allied (2016), a glossy historical drama a-la 'Casablanca', also taking place in Morocco during the WW2 and also dealing with spies and romance. With Brad Pitt as Bogart, and Marion Cotillard as Bergman having steamy sex during a sandstorm. Any movie that uses Django Reinhardt in the score is OK with me.

🍿  

Arthur Penn's disappointing adaptation of Arlo Guthrie's 18-minute blues anthem Alice's Restaurant. While the song is a perennial Thanksgiving classic, and the voices of Guthrie (and Pete Seeger) are distinct and beloved, the movie is a weak attempt to capture the Hippy spirit of the late 1960's. Counter-culture at its worst.

The acting was also terrible all around, with two exceptions: Tina Chen, who played Janice for 2 minutes in 'Three days of the condor', was lovely here too, and M. Emmet Walsh stood out as 'Group W Sergeant', in his first ever small film role. Roger Ebert created the “Stanton-Walsh Rule,” which held that (nearly) no movie featuring either Harry Dean Stanton or M. Emmet Walsh in a supporting role can be altogether bad. This is one of the exceptions.

RIP, M. Emmet Walsh!

🍿  

Breaking news, my first (and last) inane action story from Hong Kong director Johnnie To. The only different detail from hundreds of other like this is the elder policeman who buys a hot sweet potato from a street vendor, and farts loudly the rest of the movie. 1/10.

🍿  

Lammbock, another lousy German stoner comedy from 2001. Might as well be called 'Toking and driving'. Unfunny, low-budget and dirty feeling. 1/10.

🍿  

3 Shorts:

🍿 Tribute to the teachers, a 1977 Iranian short film directed by Abbas Kiarostami. A time capsule of social idealism just before the revolution.

🍿 Good Night, Nurse (1918), my second silent two-reeler with "Fatty" Arbuckle & Buster Keaton, about a drunk who's admitted to a sanitarium in order to cure him for alcoholism

🍿 Pusling ("Crybaby"), a 2008 Danish film about a 3rd grade girl who's being bullied by a class mate. Typically Danish, but not that great.

/ Female Director

🍿

Throw-back to the "Art project”:  

Hitchcock Adora.

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here)

[haemamancy]

Old woman! Man! Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? I’m 37. what? I’m 37. I’m not old. I can’t just call you “man”. You could say “Dennis”. I didn’t know you were called Dennis. Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you? I did say sorry about the old woman, but from behind you looked—What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior.

Well, I am king

Oh, king, ey? Very nice. And how’d you get that, ey? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there’s ever going to be any progress——

Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here! Oh! … How do you do?

How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that? King of the who? The Britons. Who are the Britons? We all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king. I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes——There you go, bringing class into it again. That’s what it’s all about. If only people would——

Please, please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

No one lives there.

Then who is your lord?

We don’t have a lord.

What?

I told you, we’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take turns to act as sort of an executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of internal affairs—

Be quiet. I order you to be quiet!

Order? Who does he think he is?

I am your king

Well, I didn’t vote for you

You don’t vote for kings.

Well, how’d you become king, then?

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ‘cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Shut up!

If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

Shut up Will you shut up?!

Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!

Shut up!!

Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

[gaypiratesgalore]

Image Id: panels of 8 stills from a scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Arthur and his trusty servant Patsy "ride" into a field where peasants areworking. They come up behind a cart which is being dragged by a hunched-over. peasant in ragged clothing.

Arthur: I am your king!

Woman: I didn't vote for you!

Arthur: You don't vote for kings!

Woman: Well 'ow'd you become king then?

Arthur: The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!

Man: Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical aquatic ceremony!

Man: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!! I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

[krakenbait]

bragging rights bracket update #5

*yawns* ‘sup bracketeers. did not think i would be back here so soon! in other news, i love the colorado avalanche. apologies to any oilers fans around here, but 🧹🧹🧹🧹

let’s see how the brag-cket is doing :)

157 points

kraken wins! (@babygirljason)- i think you need a comprehensive cardiac screening or something, make sure your heart is still functioning correctly before the cup finals

135 points

what sport is that (@turbolainen)- what’s your thoughts on the avs touching the trophy

128 points

Nat’s brack trick (@natashastarkk)- you’ve had correct picks in all three rounds, including getting some first round number of games right! i think that counts as a brack trick?

125 points

krakenbait’s optimism (me)- optimism (as a radical life choice) sometimes pays off! this is a reference to a song. 

118 points

senshockey’s bad predictions (@senshockey)- hey, fancy seeing you up here!

75 points

Shesterking of New York- “your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage.”

69 points

biased as funk- you ended up with quite a nice score, so who’s the real winner here?

43 points

Puck_You ( @circle--of--confusion)- “strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!”

20 points

not my thoughts ( @chaos-hockey and @ifimabitch)- i just realized the only thing you got right was the rangers beating the pens. of all things, why that?

[thetwistedcryptid]

Incorrect quotes with Deinósavros (#1)

Kaiyō: Would you like something to drink? *They open the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper- Eleu: Spiders? Kaiyō: Spiders it is then. Eleu: No, that wasn’t- *But they were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders…* _ Kaiyō: I’m so happy two of our new freshmen are getting along now. Taranis: Uh, Eleu and Hikaru are not getting along. Kaiyō: They’re not trying to kill each other. Taranis: You may have a point. _ Taranis and Kaiyō: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other* Eleu: Hikaru, exasperatedly: We have a guest. _ Eleu: Is stabbing someone immoral? Taranis: Not if they consent to it. Kaiyō: Depends on who your stabbing. Hikaru: YES??!!? _ Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and- Hikaru: No returns. Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad... _ Hikaru: Damn, Taranis, are you secretly cool? Taranis: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool. Hikaru: I do not. _ Taranis: Welcome to my room. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the towers. Eleu: Uh, this isn't really tilted. Or a tower. Taranis: Well you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here because I get friendzoned so frequently. But that's okay. Eleu: I'd like to be in the Friendzone! I like friends! Taranis: It's not as pleasant as you think. They don't treat you like a friend. They treat you like an item. Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women; But unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect. Eleu: I'm not a gamer! so maybe they'll respect me! Taranis: That just makes you a beta cuck. _ Kaiyō: I am your king, long may I reign! Taranis: Well I didn’t vote for you! Kaiyō: You don’t vote for kings. Taranis: Well how’d you become king then? Kaiyō: Hikaru of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Kaiyō, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Taranis: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. _ Eleu: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Hikaru: Thanks, it's the trauma. _ Taranis, to Hikaru: You know, Kaiyō can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Taranis: *blows airhorn at Kaiyō* GET FUCKED! _ Eleu: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco. Hikaru: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy. Taranis: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance. Kaiyō: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons. _ Eleu: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

[noshower]

King Arthur: I am your king.

Peasant Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Peasant Woman: Well, how'd you become king, then?

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis the Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

[inalandofmythandmerthur]

Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Morgana: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Arthur: Be quiet!

Morgana: You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Arthur: Shut up!

[sorrels-scribbling]

steve: well i didn’t vote for you

arthur: you don’t vote for kings

steve: well, how did you become king, then?

arthur, proudly: the lady of the lake held aloft excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that i, arthur, was to carry excalibur. THAT is why i am your king.

claire, interrupting: listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceramony