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shorthaltsjester · 4 months ago

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love (loath) this version of ‘empathy’ for characters that exists in fandoms that somehow means taking any articulation of the fact that x character is given responsibility and context by the story and that their poor choices lead to poor outcomes is actually a slight against the character (and implicitly somehow whatever oppressed group which they belong to or are alleged to belong to by sections of fandom)

to be clear this is something i’ve noticed in several fandoms which is why the beginning of this is general language but the pertinent example to my current frustration is liliana temult and the defence of her that lays on a claim that those who enjoy the narrative showing her poor actions leading to poor outcomes for her have somehow failed the empathy test is beyond incomprehensible to me. like even ignoring the very basic level understanding that fiction is a place to experience satisfaction in narratives that we cannot fulfil in non-narrative reality, it’s also like… holy fuck do I not want the kind of empathy that tells me it will all work out no matter what choice I make. it is actually imperative to human life that the choices we make have substance in the outcomes we arrive in, otherwise we would’ve long given up on the notion of free will. and to look at a narrative, particularly one built in the context of a ttrpg. a game notably influenced by the choices that players-as-characters make. and then see sections of an audience find it compelling and enjoyable that a character who has made categorically poor choices that have caused immeasurable harm to others is now dealing with the very obvious face-eating panthers consequences… idk man. if you see that as a lack of empathy i implore you to consider what role empathy is playing in your world.

like. if empathy to you is about comfort and stagnancy and not about growth and community, then sure i can understand how it might not be empathetic in your view to notice patterns and see their obvious outcome and acknowledge that . but as someone who has been in the position of making horrible choices with obvious outcomes, far more essential to my personhood was those who looked at me with careful but critical eyes than those who nearly babyed me into my grave. that’s actually why i love imogen’s choice to insist that liliana make her own choice and then quasi-encouraging her to stay, because it was a clear reminded to liliana that her choices have consequences, and one of those is that the terrible things she’s down in the name of her daughter have led to that daughter not being able to easily trust her.

and i think another thing that’s related that gets misconstrued with liliana (and as always unfortunately many such cases) is that the satisfaction of seeing her absorbed isn’t that it’s retributive harm done or some sort of punishment (at least not for me, skill issue if people in your fandom spaces are that cop-minded but, yknow, what can you expect from the thought-crimes capital of fandom spaces). the satisfaction is in the analogue (that i’ve seen well memed) to the face-eating panthers joke that liliana’s actions which have pushed an agenda that’s depended on the consumption and threat to her child and the children she specifically has aided in placing in danger via her choices, has led to situations where a) she’s ‘burdened’ by her care for imogen and the children (both of which she has played a hand in inviting into the context of danger) b) she is now the person in danger of being consumed after spending weeks simply shrugging off concerns about what might be consumed in the name of ludinus’ Just World™. like it’s not just ‘liliana does bad things, must be punished’ it’s ‘liliana has played a hand in creating a situation that is threatening to many including herself, it is narratively satisfying and engages in Common Narrative Tool: Irony to have that create situation negatively impact her directly.’

to that end that’s why the ‘if you’re like this about liliana you should also be like this about essek’ takes are beyond missing the point (without getting into the horribly built scarecrow that it is, understand that it’s actually undermining decades of feminist’s philosophical and political development to see a critique of a female character and go ‘well actually if she were a man you wouldn’t be saying that’ when it’s a provable fact that people Would be (and have been) saying that if she were a man. so not the feminist slay you think it is). like, as someone who Was just as interested in essek’s story having consequences as I am in liliana’s, there very much WERE consequences for essek that, just like liliana, were well contextualized and suited to the specific choices he made. they are ones that should be obvious even to the most surface read of the campaigns given that essek still appears in disguise years after the end of c2, should also probably be obvious in the rebuilding of relationships essek had to do with mn after they discovered his betrayal. like the notable difference between liliana and essek is not their gender, it’s that we’ve seen the end of essek’s story (in the sense of like. campaign containment, obviously his Story™ is ongoing) and have yet to see liliana’s— it’s entirely possible that liliana does get saved and goes on to repair her relationship with imogen (or goes on and is unable to repair it) or she just dies and part of imogen’s story is dealing with it; all of those are narratively satisfying. what wouldn’t have been satisfying, in the sense that would leave liliana feeling like a non-agent in a story dependent on her agency, is if her role was entirely dictated by imogen’s interest in reconciliation. because sure if you want to look very microscopically the current threat to liliana that exists is 1-to-1 caused by the fact that she’s been helping imogen, but taking seriously the story, the consequences bloom from all the choices that liliana has made leading to ludinus’ decision to trust her however far he does that made liliana’s choice a betrayal and affirmed ludinus’ strength and position so that he can do something like siphon someone’s life force away.

further the ‘why does liliana deserve to be funnelled and relvin gets off easy’ relvin doesn’t get off easy. once again the satisfaction of his narrative is that he did his best and it was insufficient and that cost him a relationship with imogen they both clearly wish for but neither can rectify. the consequence for relvin is that he’s in an empty house that is no longer home to the woman he loved or the daughter he was left to raise alone. surely i don’t need to unpack why i think someone who tried but wasn’t well equipped to raise a daughter with superpowers doesn’t need to evoke as ‘drastic’ consequences in their story as the stated right hand of the campaign’s bbeg for their story to feel complete.

and idk at least for me that’s the salient point; that the consequences that are happening feel like a plausible and suitable conclusion to the story we’ve seen of liliana even if she perishes at ludinus’ hand. it will be sad but it’ll be satisfying, and maybe i should have realized seeing the frequency with which parts of fandom have been campaigning to undo maybe the most weighty and narratively satisfying choices & consequence of vox machina’s story, but it’s truly confounding to me the amount of people treating the presence of any complex and non-traditional happy ending notion in a story set in a world defined by pyrrhic victories. like, empathy for vax isn’t saying he’s the puppet of a god that manipulated him into service, it’s acknowledging that he made a choice that he knew would have consequences and acknowledging that the consequences he demanded with that choice were pretty severe ones. that doesn’t mean i’m watching the end of cr1 seeing the characters destroyed by the loss of vax being like ‘dumbasses, they knew this was coming, vax chose this, these are his consequences’ it means that when i’m crying watching the end of cr1 it’s paired with my deep love for a story that takes seriously the weight of the character’s choices in the determination of their lives. idk man. maybe interrogate how much of your notion of empathy is dependent on individualism to the point of near complete alienation and get back to me on how empathetic it is to look at someone who has caused unarguable pain with their choices and say ‘no no it’s fine you didn’t mean to + you’re a woman :/‘ while the victims of those choices rot in their graves

#not to make fiction about real life but CURIOUS what so called liliana defenders have to say about alcoholics who drunk drive #critical role #cr fandom #on fandom #liliana temult #worst part of this is that i actually am a liliana lover she’s an incredibly interesting character to me #but. i see a post about her it’s like a 70% chance it’s just turning her into a agencyless zombie or otohans girlfriend (so a different kind #of agencyless zombie) like. can we engage in the story.#i bring a philosophy student who hates choice feminism vibe to discussions that contemporary fandom really doesn’t like #cr3

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shuuru · 1 month ago

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On Vanitas and Xehanort's relationship.

I find it really hard to write Xehanort and Vanitas's interactions, especially when writing Vanitas's feelings about his Master.

I love Vanitas in the BBS Novel, especially because most of his scenes don't contradict the games. "Secondary canon" as the kids say.

My struggle comes because Xehanort is so obviously evil and a manipulate bastard to the viewer (he set up his own kidnapping ffs. Eraqus is either blind or too in love to really see it despite The Incident™) and still, the short conversations he has with Vanitas are... very normal in the beginning.

“Vanitas, are you prepared?” The young man he called Vanitas stood next to the elder, also watching the shooting star. His jet-black hair matched the darkness of the night. “We leave early tomorrow. Be sure to rest.” The old man patted Vanitas on the shoulder, and the light of recognition appeared in Vanitas’s eyes. “I can go a day or two without sleep. No problem.” Vanitas smirked. The old man—Master Xehanort—returned the smile. “Our tale begins now, Vanitas.” “A tale? Is that all it is?” Vanitas put on the mask he held at his side and looked up at the sky once more. At that, the old man convulsed with deep, throaty laughter.

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep The Novel - "Something Strange" Page 11

When Xehanort asks for his opinion on Ventus, Vanitas answers very casually in both Japanese and English. (He doesn't even use the polite です and just goes with the casual だ) There's no respect and Xehanort doesn't demand it.

“He ain’t gonna cut it."

Xehanort does speak badly of Vanitas to Terra, calling him a demon of his own creation, but how much is twisting the truth and how much is his own feelings towards him?

youtube

Xehanort lied as naturally as he breathed.

As Master Xehanort made his exit, Maleficent turned her attention to another in the corner of the room. “And you? Are you a friend of this man?” A lone boy appeared from the shadow of a curtain—Vanitas. “A friend…? What do you mean by that? What about you? Are you a ‘friend’ of his?” Vanitas countered Maleficent’s query with his own. “Yes, I suppose I could call him an ally with a common goal.” “Then sure. I guess I’m the same.” Vanitas smirked. “Have fun with those three,” he told her before leaving the room.

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep The Novel - "Something Strange" Page 59

An ally with a common goal, that seems to be the extent of their relationship despite Vanitas being his Apprentice.

The flashbacks of Vanitas's time in the badlands and training are exclusive to the Novel version and Kanemaki hit us all with a suplex because none of this is in the game. Kanemaki looked at the little darkness gremlin and said "You. I like you. Have character development."

“If I must…I will extract the darkness from within you myself.” A translucent ball of light rose from Ventus’s chest up into the air, until something pitch-black began to manifest around it. The substance took on a spherical shape, almost like a large egg, and all at once, a boy clad in a black bodysuit and mask appeared within, clutching his legs to him in a fetal position. The light left Ventus’s eyes. The boy uncurled his arms and legs, then landed lightly on the ground and looked at Xehanort. He had no idea who this guy was. Didn’t know who the guy laid out over there was, either. I’m just kinda…sad. Why am I sad? “Empty creature from Ventus riven…to you, the name Vanitas shall be given.” “Yes, Master,” replied the masked boy, Vanitas.

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“Don’t excite him, Vanitas.” Xehanort shot Vanitas a glare as he strode over to Ventus and helped him up. His golden eyes glinted sharply. “Excite him? Why shouldn’t I? He’s me. And didn’t you just say you liked the Unversed? What happened to putting this loser to rest?” “The situation has changed. Ventus’s heart is not so weak.” “Whatever,” Vanitas spat. So Xehanort didn’t know what really happened to Ventus. Someone somewhere had completed the boy’s heart, but Xehanort had reached the conclusion that Ventus’s own resilience was the cause. And that offended Vanitas, too. He’s undeniably a part of me, so why do I hate the kid so much? “Get out of the way. I’ll get rid of him myself.” Vanitas summoned his Keyblade into his hand. “Wait. We don’t know what will happen to you if he meets his end.” “So now what? If I have to be around him, I know I’m gonna end up snuffing him out.” His Keyblade still at the ready, Vanitas looked at Ventus, whose face remained twisted with pain. “Then I know just the place for him.” “You’re gonna lug him off somewhere else, then? Man, glad he means so much to you.” Vanitas laughed. “Both you and Ventus are necessary to my plan.” “Your plan, huh?” Without giving his opinion one way or the other, Vanitas dismissed his Keyblade and looked at Xehanort. He didn’t have any intention of being used in this man’s schemes. While the remnants of Ventus’s memories told him that Ventus had a certain amount of respect for Xehanort as his master, things were different with Vanitas himself. “Have it your way, Master,” Vanitas shot out, then turned his back on the other two and walked away. “Where are you going?” “Relax, I’ll stay on this world.” Behind Vanitas, the Unversed followed after like his attendants. What would it take to get rid of this anger? Why was I ever born? Vanitas gritted his teeth and scowled. Will my doubts ever go away someday?

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep The Novel - "Dak Memory" Page 338-339

Again, barely any respect for Xehanort and explicitly says he wants nothing to do with his schemes but then something changes. Vanitas begins questioning his existence.

Vanitas felt a stirring in Ventus’s heart, and then it stopped all at once. The incessant winds whipping across the earth had fallen still at the same time. He looked up at the sky. The situation had changed again—Xehanort must have done something. Meanwhile, the “plan” Xehanort had mentioned was bothering him. Why was I born? Why was I made? Where did Ventus go? And what do I do now? I’m nervous.

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep The Novel - "Dak Memory" Page 343

He can feel Ventus and all the emotions Vanitas himself can feel are negative. And what's worse, even when he knows the pain he's feeling will give him strenght, he doesn't want to feel like this anymore. He wants to be together again.

Vanitas summoned his Keyblade to his hand and took it to the Unversed scrabbling around him. Pain tore through his body as he brought it down. This was the second time he had defeated one of the creatures himself. Vanitas lashed out at the other Unversed. I don’t want to go away. Spare me. It hurts so much. I hate him. So many emotions poured into him along with the pain. The influx of feelings brought with it more pain, which in turn spawned more Unversed. Defeating them will make me stronger. It means the more I hurt these pieces of myself, the tougher I’ll become—and my Unversed with me. Pain and hate and suffering will be my power. The dark heart he’d been left with was so miserable. Why am I the only one who has to suffer? He pushed all his misery off on me, and now he’s off doing what? Sleeping? I’m jealous. […] Wish I could be numb like that, too. We used to be one, so why did we have to get separated? I’d probably feel a little better, at least, if we were together again. It’s Xehanort’s fault for tearing us apart, but he’s the only one who gets to feel good. He doesn’t have to deal with all this pain. I envy him. Vanitas despised Ventus—loathed him. The stream of Unversed emerging from him also upset him. What would it take for me to escape all of this?

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep The Novel - "Dak Memory" Page 344-345

(I love that Darkness in Ux says that what Ventus wished for was power and Vanitas is obsessed with strenght even when the χ-Blade is still not on his radar. A residual, perhaps?)

And then we reach the most important part. We have the offer of salvation. The "Deal with the Devil"

“You must suffer more and more,” the old man said, turning to leave. Vanitas slowly got to his feet behind Xehanort. “…No.” Xehanort turned back toward the muttering at his back. “No. Why am I the only one who has to go through this?” The old man exploded into laughter at Vanitas’s question. “What’s so funny?” He thought of how much the inside of his chest ached and ached and ached, and tears poured down his cheeks. I can’t take this anymore. “I’ll tell you how to end your torment—become the χ-Blade.” “…χ-Blade?” Vanitas asked desperately. “If you and your counterpart cultivate your strengths and then do battle, the χ-Blade will be forged. The χ-Blade shall free you from your pain—free the entire world.” Vanitas couldn’t care less about the world, as long as he was delivered from this agony. “To this end, Vanitas, you must hone both body and mind.” With those parting words, Xehanort turned away from Vanitas. If I become the χ-Blade one day, I’ll be free of this torment. It was a goal—a purpose. A single ray of light shining in the darkness.

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep The Novel - "Dak Memory" Page 346-347

Vanitas now has one single hope: the χ-Blade. And he only has Xehanort's word for it. He doesn't know if it will work, he only knows Xehanort offered it and he will do it if it stops his torment.

Xehanort then begins the process of "tempering" Vanitas as he calls it so he makes him tape into his anger. And here we also have the first description of what Vanitas's life was in the Badlands. Spoilers: Not pretty.

Xehanort loomed over Vanitas, his Keyblade in hand. “Come at me, boy. Your tempering has only begun.” As Vanitas got to his feet with a groan, Xehanort lunged toward him in a flash and kicked him in the jaw. Vanitas went crashing to the ground again. During Xehanort’s occasional returns to this ancient battleground, he would beat Vanitas with his Keyblade and then leave. The solitude cultivated his loathing and made him stronger. That was why Vanitas had been abandoned here. But it still wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough, and that in turn was why the Master needed to return at times for training. While Vanitas did sometimes cry out and weep, this time he merely gritted his teeth and got to his feet again. It was impossible to deny that a dark heart could become full to bursting with sadness and loneliness. Still, that was far from strength. Such feelings could be left to the Unversed. What Vanitas needed to acquire was overwhelming power. And that called for isolation and hatred. True darkness lay beyond his dried tears. “Now, Vanitas, let your hatred grow. Turn it loose upon everything in this world.” Unversed emerged from the boy kneeling on the ground. Xehanort chuckled as he watched.

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep The Novel - "Contrast" Page 359

Oh, boy. Where do I begin? Vanitas cries when he's alone but bears it when he's with Xehanort. He lets the Unversed become all the feelings he doesn't consider strenght. Xehanort abandons him for who know how long, returns, beats him and then leaves again.

I know a popular interpretation of their relationship is that Vanitas is afraid of Xehanort. He hates the man but fear? I don't see it. (edit: this take will be my downfall in like five sentences)

And as I see it, all this abuse has purpose. His suffering will grant him salvation in the end. There's an end goal to this and Vanitas will endure for it. The torment doesn't matter, the pain doesn't matter, the solitude doesn't matter. Everything will stop when he becomes the χ-Blade.

But enough about BBS, let's get into the real spice. Dark Road.

Dark Road came into my house, punched me in the face and left me with the knowledge that Vanitas may possibly be one of the 13 Darknesses.

This scene happens right after Xehanort leaves Ventus with Eraqus. My jaw was on the floor because Vanitas and Xehanort's dynamic is So Different here.

I was so fucking naive like five sentences ago because this? This is fear.

Fucking hand-on-shoulder-in-the-first-scene-of-the-novel-Xehanort just threatened Vanitas with violence if he didn't hold his tongue. Live on camera.

"I did this for him. Not you." Bitch, you are the one that stabbed Ventus with the Keyblade?!??!

I digress.

Xehanort then does what he does best and monologues about the events of Ux and after explaining about the 13 Darknesses he asks Vanitas what he thinks and Vanitas's response is:

Xehanort: Press χ to Doubt

Vanitas? What do you mean dot, dot, dot? Vanitas, are you deflecting? Vanitas? VANITAS?

This scene destroyed me for so many reasons but I'm gonna focus on two.

Xehanort knows Vanitas is Darkness™, or he at least suspects it. He's being Very Confident and Vanitas is being Very Quiet which is making me Very Nervous. Vanitas is hiding something. Is that because of his own survival or does he want to hide his status as Darkness™?

Vanitas claims he's "his own being" and honestly? I believe him. I believe Lauriam is right in assuming Ventus and Darkness™ fused. This is like chocolate powder and milk, people. There's no going back. When Ventus said he'll give Darkness™ a form they can defeat, I'm convinced he was referring to himself.

"Guys, Darkness™ now lives inside my Heart. Kill me and destroy it forever." (MoM definitely is laughing in the distance). He doesn't get to say any of that because he's unconscious the whole until arriving to the future.

We're not talking about what happens after this, this is not about you Lauriam.

I 90% believe when Ventus took Darkness™ in his Heart and Xehanort stabbed him with No Name, Darkness™ became "the entity formerly known as one of the 13 Darknesses" Vanitas. He's still half a Heart of pure darkness but he isn't "pure Darkness™". He has been tainted by Ventus's darkness or worse, Ventus's light.

(I have no source for this but I've been told you need Light to wield a Keyblade and isn't that interesting, Mister I-summoned-a-Keyblade-first-thing-after-being-born?)

Isn't it nice how Xehanort says light and Vanitas immediately thinks of Ventus? His light?

This two lines of dialogue have ruined my life because my biggest fear is that they retcon Vanitas and Ventus's relationship to not make them two halves of a whole. Fortunately, the Characters Files give me hope.

"And I'm both you, and not you."

Thank you, Vanitas Kingdomhearts. This sparks joy.

Also, the sentence before that one is a more accurate translation from this scene in KHIII

"I'm the darkness, and that's why you can all exist as light."

I believe the reason the vibes are so different between BBS and Dark Road is that now we know Xehanort's friends died because of darkness and I'm very sure Xehanort holds a grudge because of that. He's with the embodiment of the thing that took everything away from him, or at least he thinks that.

Vanitas was afraid of Xehanort but only in the beginning. The second he decides to become the χ-Blade that fear was delegated to the Unversed. Anything that didn't feed his strenght was useless. After everything, the only feeling that remains regarding Xehanort is hatred.

I actually don't know where I was going with this because I've been writing for almost 11 hours total. I was writing my fic and then Vanitas thought about Xehanort for a second and I stopped and asked myself "What does Vanitas think about Xehanort?" I basically distracted myself into not writing my fic.

Haha.

If I were to write the scene now after all this rambling I would say Vanitas hates Xehanort. If he sees him again, he's going for the kill because he won't let anyone use him again without assurance it will bring him what he wants. Vanitas was his ally but Xehanort never had his loyalty. Even if he did fear him, he has been trained to convert that into rage. He won't be paralyzed by fear, he will draw strength from it.

As Xehanort told Ventus once, change fear into rage which in turn becomes strength, and that leads to darkness.

Thank you for coming to my "anything to not write my fic" talk.

#Vanitas #Xehanort #Kingdom Hearts #Writing struggles #Ventus #is vanitas a victim of abuse? yes #does vanitas care he's a victim of abuse? oof #that's a different can of worms #vanitas is definitely the type not to talk about himself #but he'd make an exception if he can get a reaction from his enemies

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spacerockfloater · 8 months ago

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Hi, I just wanted to say that I wholeheartedly agree with your recent post. It really bothers me how the fandom, especially those who are supposed to be green fans, are turning on Aemond. Don't get me wrong, I loathe the way they handled his character this season, but it's really interesting how for the last two years we had to listen Aegon stans complain about him being ruined by bad writing. Yet, they never turned on him. He was just the writers' victim, according to them (which isn't untrue). However, those same people (you saw it in the replies) are unwilling to extend the same courtesy to Aemond when he's being treated even worse by the writers for the whole f**king season, all that without having a decent amount of screentime or an actual POV (unlike Aegon who actually got a much better material this season). I guess these fans only "liked" Aemond while he was what Aegon thought of him, "a loyal hound he could set against his foes and who knows his place". Double standards much? Let's get this straight, I hate what they did with RR and Aemond burning Aegon is another dirty trick of the writers in order to divide the green fandom. Apparently, TG fans are unfortunately eating it all up. Nevertheless, it's not the reason the greens are in a bad situation because we saw that Aegon and Sunfyre wouldn't be of much help in battle anyway. Sunfyre could go against dragons like Vermax and Moondancer, but that's it. And Aegon is not a great warrior or a leader. Therefore, just like you said, Aemond can't fight alone so him asking Helaena to join with her big ass dragon isn't unreasonable. Yes, she isn't violent and doesn't want to burn anyone, but nether is Rhaena and I can bet she'll get the Nettles arc, ride the dragon and burn things.. So why does everyone treat Helaena as a little fragile house pet? Aemond is right, she can't defend herself and they would tear her apart. But no, he's also in the wrong here (showing him being violent towards Helaena is so OOC I won't even comment on it). And don't get me started on Alicent. She practically betrayed her faction twice, in ep 3 when she let Rhaenyra go. And she could have ended the war there and then, even before RR. Now she goes to Dragonstone to tell Rhaenyra she'll open the gates for her and this is framed as a good thing because her son is awful and she just wants to save her daughter? Yeah, no. However, Alicent is also defended, it's all on Aemond now, he is the evil villain ™. Aegon can be forgiven , Alicent can be forgiven, but Aemond can't? It's ridiculous. The worst thing is that I'm saying this as someone who has loved Alicent and all her children since s1.

THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR THIS!

You’ve done it, you’ve said exactly what I have been thinking!

I wish I had something of substance to add to what you said, but I don’t. This needs to be a post of its own.

Aegon was treated horribly by the show. I am a huge fan of his. But now they’re doing the same thing to Aemond and he doesn’t deserve that shit.

Aemond is all that left of the Greens.

This show has butchered every single TG character.

#house of the dragon #hotd #pro team green #anti rhaenyra targaryen #team green #anti team black #hotd critical #hotd thoughts #anti hotd #pro aemond targaryen

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honeycrispappletree · 2 months ago

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mayonaise // tooru oikawa 🏐ᯓ★

master list

match 5: streetlights

The last place yn wants to be is with her friends. Not because she doesn’t like them, but because she’s just... tired. Tired of always having something to do. Sometimes she wishes she could just disappear, slip away completely. But she decides that staying at home would make her a loser.

So here she is, at the highly anticipated HINATA SHOYO BLACKOUT RAGER™. The blaring of whatever trashy music hinata put on blasts through her ears before she even fully steps inside. The loud heated atmosphere of the party hits her, a sharp change from the cool quiet night outside. She slips off her shoes and leaves them in the huge pile of others— iwaizumi’s jordans, saeko’s combat boots, noya’s crocs, and yui’s flats. yn sighs and tosses her Uggs into the mix, hesitating before walking into the party. Immediately, yachi approaches her.

“yn, where the hell have you been?!” yachi drags out her words, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m only 15 minutes late girl.” yn smiles and lightly kisses her cheek before cutting right to the chase, “Where’s the drinks?”

yachi puts on a serious face, before giggling, “Time to get down to business.”

They weave through the vollyeball teams of aoba johsai, eventually landing in the kitchen. The room hums with noise-shots being poured, laughter filling the air. It’s like everyone’s forgotten about the week’s worries, just for a moment.

yn spots oikawa at the island, pouring himself a small drink. She knows volleyball is always on his mind, which is why he always talks a big game about drinking but never actually follows through.

“Pour me a shot, would you?” yn grins, sliding next to him at the counter.

oikawa glances at her with a smile but scoffs. “Pour your own loser.”

“Aren’t you fun?” She rolls her eyes and grabs a solo cup.

He takes a sip of his drink and grimaces. Turning back to her, he asks, “You talk to yui yet?”

yn throws back her shot before pouring another one, then replies flatly, “Hell no. If she’s got a problem, she can come talk to me. I’m not begging her for forgiveness when I don’t even know what she’s annoyed about.” yn feels a sense of guilt from her words, because she knows exactly what yui is upset about, and she knows it’s her fault.

oikawa sighs, dissapointed. “Does this mean no secret society meetings this week?”

“It wouldn’t make a difference,” she says coldly. “I’ve got club practice all week.”

He shakes his head in playful disapproval. “Elite snobs…”

yn chuckles, but it doesn’t have any real substance to oikawa. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Before he can say anything else about the rate at which she’s drinking, noya stumbles into the kitchen, tripping over his own feet.

“You guys in on the Mario Kart tournament or what?” he challenges.

yn and oikawa exchange a quick glance, both laughing as they leave the counter and head for the living room.

“Be warned, I might just beat your ass and—” noya starts to taunt before oikawa slaps the back of his head. yn giggles, and for a brief moment, oikawas heart skips. It’s strange, but the sight of her laughing feels different now. He wishes he could make her laugh like that all the time.

TWO (grueling) HOURS LATER

Blood, sweat, and tears have been wiped away from the living room as tsukishima is announced the winner of the tournament- once again. He’s the three time champion, but he couldn’t care less.

As the group starts to mellow out, people scatter around the house, talking amongst themselves. yn drifts through the rooms, overhearing snippets of conversations. She smirks at yachi and yamaguchi, having a discussion about unrequited love with his head over the toilet. kageyama and iwaizumi, on the other hand, are deep in a conversation about their ‘shoe game’. kageyama earns an elbow to the stomach when he says iwaizumis ‘j’s are fake’. The mix of it all gives her whiplash, but she doesn’t pay much attention until she notices oikawa and yui by the pool table.

Something about the way oikawas listening to her so intently makes yns stomach sick. She can’t figure out why, but it feels so… wrong. She just knows she doesn’t want to be near it.

The alcohol swirls in her stomach, and before she knows it, she’s stumbling out to the front porch. Too tipsy and tired to have a real conversation, she settles into a chair, hugging her knees to her chest, staring out at the city. It’s quiet, peaceful at night. The streetlights glow softly infront of her.

She doesn’t even have to look up when the front door creaks open. She knows it’s oikawa. She could never not recognize that presence.

“It’s kind of cold out here,” he says, a little annoyed, as he sits down beside her.

“Then go inside.” She slurs the words, trying to sound dismissive, but she just sounds stupid.

He frowns, but doesn’t argue. They sit in silence for a while, the cool night air heavy between them. oikawa finally breaks it.

“Are you okay?”

yn doesn’t meet his gaze, but she feels his eyes on her. It burns.

“I’m fine, toru. The world’s just a little blurry right now,” she mutters, turning to face him.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he presses, his voice quieter now.

Somehow, her already neutral face fades. She rolls her eyes, turning back to the night, trying to brush him off.

“I’m not gonna do this whole…thing with you right now.” She sighs, shutting down any attempt at a heart-to-heart.

oikawa leans back in the chair, frustrated. He’s learned not to push with yn, but sometimes all he wants is to know what’s happening in her head.

They sit there, the silence thickening, neither willing to leave or speak. For once, the silence they can usually sit with doesn’t feel right-it feels suffocating.

“Do you want to know why I’ve been skipping practice?” yns voice breaks the stillness, and oikawa flinches. She wasn’t expecting to say it, but somehow she did anyway. oikawa can thank whiskey for that.

“Why?”

yn hesitates. She wants to soften the blow of what she’s trying to say, but she doesn’t really know how. “I guess… I thought-“ she stops, shaking her head before continuing. “I hoped if I missed enough practices, coach would just kick me off the team.”

oikawas eyes widen in confusion. He couldn’t possibly imagine yn wanting to quit volleyball on purpose, it doesn’t make sense. That’s not the kind of person she is, atleast that’s what he knew. His mind flashes to their countless hours playing volleyball in his backyard as kids. His heart drops a little.

“You want to get kicked off the team?” he asks, trying to make sense of it.

She clicks her tongue. “Yeah. I guess I do.”

She can’t bring herself to look at him. Her mind is screaming to stop talking, but for some reason, she keeps going.

“I don’t think you’d understand,” she whispers, hoping he won’t hear and just forget she said anything at all.

“Then help me,”

His words catch her off guard. She turns to him, her heart fluttering. His gaze is confused, but all while still full of concern. She doesn’t know what to say. yn doesnt see concern or care looking her right back in the face very often. For a moment, she wants to tell him everything- the way it takes everything in her to get up in the morning, how nothing she does feels right anymore. She wants to tell him.

Her mouth opens, but no words come out.

“yn?” oikawa presses, his voice gentle.

He doesn’t care, and nobody ever will.

Did you really think any different?

But yn shakes her head, “Forget it”.

She stands up abruptly and walks off the porch, her footsteps echoing in the still night air. oikawa contemplates calling after her, but his words are lost with the wind. yn walks alone down the sidewalk, the silence consuming the air once more. The same glow she was admiring earlier casts down on her skin.

The streetlights flicker.

overtime!

tsukishima mains lenny on mario kart

oikawa and yn do NOT know what they are (neither do i)

yachi took a trip to europe and loved how they did the cheek kiss for greetings so now the girls all do it

hinatas house is the canon event center

iwaizumis j's are NOT fake dont put too much on my boy

taglist: @itsdragonius @lulumi1u @gigiiiiislife @babyyitsval @akaashislove @smellysluna @dazqa @walllflowerrrsss @cupidsblonde @nitasplace @gsyche @punkhazardlaw @iaminyourfloors @mydearlybeloathed @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @nifflermini @haechuun

a/n: i have been improving my writing game bc i used to put in no effort and it was just wow. I DONT CAPITALIZE NAMES SORRY maybe one day i will. anyway they r so tragic and in love maybe for now we will see what happens

on god im updating ivy its just actually impossible help me

#hq fanfic #haikyuu smau #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #smau #tooru oikawa #tooru oikawa x reader #hq oikawa #fic recs #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa angst #haikyuu angst #haikyu angst #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x you

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patricia-taxxon · 2 years ago

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heya! i just rewatched your sc2020 video…again… and then found out you're on tumblr and, of course, immediately went to look if you've posted anything about sj aswell and found that post from *checks notes* 1.5 months ago - so, i guess what im here to ask is, would you mind elaborating on that?

im unfamiliar with marble blast (im so sorry i do not have the brainpower to watch your essay on that...yet) so the comparison you make is not particularly useful to me :v

also for context, i did contribute to sj, specifically playtesting and programming, so i do have Opinions™ (that im gonna keep to myself due to lack of anon ask (not a bad thing! i understand why you have it off)) and i wonder if those happen to bleed through to the player experience or if your gripes with it are something different entirely.

well, firstly, i have developed such a deep seated hatred of the celeste community that i haven't opened the game in months and i've considered just deleting my spring collab video multiple times, I'm not finishing any more of my maps because I don't want to make anything for these people. so i didn't actually finish SJ, I did everything up to & including the easy half of the grandmaster lobby though, and my take is that even with the few miracles I found within the map list, it would not have inspired a video essay on the level of the spring collab one if I'd played it first. it's just not as interesting, and not as rewarding to study. it represents a horrible misattribution of priorities that permeates the entire community.

in that video, i confidently say that spring collab is ALWAYS interesting, because modding culture is interesting even if it's interesting for being a little bad or revealing something about the author's proclivities. strawberry jam represents a near unanimous drive to remove authorship and make levels that are impartially agreeable, to make Celeste 2. it's only interesting when the mapper does something interesting on purpose, like Paint, Pointless Machines, Undergrowth, Summit Down-Side or Flipside Cliffside. a path of least resistance emerged in the time between SC2020 and Strawberry Jam, and experiencing it in this quantity made me forget what I liked about this game or this modding scene in the first place. the volume of creative gimmicks and varied aesthetics is huge, but each one starts to feel identical after being ground through this particular jank-averse process. I still have strong opinions about every map in SC2020, even the ones that might seem unremarkable, I can only barely begin to quantify the entire fucking C tier of my SJ tierlist. it's diverse on the surface but the substance is homogenous, especially intermediate through expert.

also in my SC2020 video, I talked about a certain tension that arrives once you get to the expert lobby, where the mappers had to create uncommercial levels of difficulty that rubbed against a similar apparent drive to make the player feel like they're actually doing the challenge & not just watching it. strawberry jam arrives at this conflict far earlier, the INTERMEDIATE maps and onwards are the ones that seem to pull between making interesting challenges while also having the player be an agent in those challenges. they want the intermediate levels to feel hard, look cool, and the solution is to just make them ridiculously constrained so the only way is the ~satisfying~ way. that's why I won't make a video about strawberry jam, because many segments in my spring collab video already serve as criticism for strawberry jam. it made the same mistakes again, but worse, and with far less of the things that made me love spring collab in spite of its flaws.

here's my tierlist, if there are any questions i'll try and qualify any of these takes with what i can remember from playing it. however, for reasons stated previously I won't be playing more so this is probably gonna be it.

#patricia taxxon ask #cilantromixture #celeste #mini essay #long post

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8-rae-rae-8 · 30 days ago

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Hi, Rae, Good [insert the time of day]

Whump ask: 3 10 12 19

💕🌸

HELLO!! it is almost 6pm for me 😌

"3.Do you prefer whump in the form of writing or visual media?"

WRITING 100%. there's SO much more substance because, even in third person writing, you get more of what whumpee is feeling. Not just visual hints of agony.

"10. When did you first realize you were into whump?"

Five years ago! When I started reading fics online o7

"12. Why do you love whump?"

I can't afford therapy (/hj)

But actually, it's just so interesting to explore. There's so many options of what to do !! Never ending possibilities (man who's been rewriting the same thing because it's just So Good™)

"19. Who are your favorite whump bloggers? Tag them!"

I actually don't know... There's not anyone who whumps the characters I like 😭 it's mostly OC blogs that just "would your character do [this]"

But I'll say several of my friends Whump those characters REALLY good in my server (you know who you are)

#whump #whump writing #whumpblr #ask game #asks #mutuals #mutuals asks

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spoonmagister · 10 months ago

Text

A Response to Concerned Citizens

It has come to my attention that word has been spreading about a Big Scrib, or some sort of Scrib Great One, wandering the wastes near our Uvirith’s Grave. You may have even heard rumors spreading in nearby Balmora (a den of Hlaalu lies) or Suran (a den of Hlaalu lies, Cat drugs, and mysterious gyrations).

I trust I do not need to convince you why the words of Hlaalu or moon sugar fiends cannot be trusted. There are whispers concerning my involvement with the disappearance of Crassius Curio, and these whispers need not be whispered, as Crassius Curio does indeed reside beneath Tel Uvirith at this moment in time. Regardless, the Hlaalu rats have not the fortitude to engage me in any way other than lies and sneakery. Moon sugar is an untidy, barbarous substance that, frankly, should only be used to placate your Cats as necessary.

The tremors you may notice are remnants of the recent deployment of the Scrib Vitamin Spell™, which was explosively effective and brought with it very lucrative — some may say “Other-Worldly” — opportunities. This should not be cause for concern. Quite the opposite. We remain at the forefront of Telvanni research and development, while my associates concern themselves only with politics and ridiculous Daedric toys.

If you have further inquiries, they should be made towards the Lord of your new residence, when you move there, after you leave Tel Uvirith and never come back. I hear the Manor of Ralen Hlaalo has still not been occupied.

NOTE: Donations to the families of Llerane Falndel and Favados Nedth, Telvanni guards whose minds were shattered by the incredible discoveries made that day, can be directed to Almossaren, my assistant. My thoughts and spoons go out to them (and then they return to me, as I need them both).

#morrowind #house telvanni #the elder scrolls #gaming #fanfiction #house hlaalu

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onyx-archer · 9 months ago

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Hunter: A Casualty of Cancellation

Been a hot minute since I did one of these for the Owl Show, and because someone I don't think is very smart tried to act like my opinion on Hunter was "objectively wrong," I'm writing this out of spite. That said, I am still going to approach this much like I did my previous posts about TOH of this ilk (which you can find HERE and HERE if you wanna see those and haven't yet, the latter actually hints at the existence of this post as a possible thing, so the prophecy has been fulfilled).

As post's title should explain, the subject of this post is Hunter, a very popular character in the TOH fandom. He's a character that I have pretty mixed opinions on because of how he was handled. On one hand, I think he meets the criteria to be a "good" character (for whatever that subjective view is worth), but on the other, I don't think he's got much in the way of substance. While I don't have a problem with a character lacking a bit of depth, it's one of those things where I don't get the hype. A lot of that comes down to how the show is written in Season 2, namely it's second half. I'll explain what I mean under the cut.

Now, as I mentioned in the Stringbean post linked above, there are a few things within the show I consider "casualties" in the writing department due to the cancellation. Stringbean was the highest on that list, for reasons stated in the other post. The Collector is second highest, because I don't really care as much about him getting trimmed down to the bare minimum. And bringing home the bronze is ironically the Golden Guard himself.

I want to make something abundantly clear: I don't hate the character of Hunter. I'm not his biggest fan, sure, but I don't think he's a "bad" character. I think he meets a sort of "bare minimum" standard of "good," as I mentioned earlier. I'm only putting the words "bad" and "good" in quotes because quality is an extremely subjective concept, and while this is a post detailing my opinion, I know some more anally pedantic people reading this are going to try and insist otherwise. Those people know who they are, and I hope they know I think they're stupid.

With that said, I don't think Hunter has a lot of substance/depth, or at least to the capacity that other fans do. I've seen the show a number of times, and I've never really saw him as anything special. Given what I've said about him in the past, I think it's obvious that a lot of why I think this comes down to him being a Cancellation Causality™, having been unable to reach his true potential as a character.

A lot of people like to latch onto a character based on the potential the character has, and not necessarily the character as they are written in the source text. This isn't an inherently bad thing, as we all do it. I do it all the time. It's fun to think of all of the fascinating things you can do with a character that an author doesn't really utilize to their full potential. I think Hunter is one of those characters for a lot of people.

It's undeniable that the character is not "whole" as far as his character arc is concerned. Yeah, he has a complete arc, for all intents and purposes, but much like a lot of things within The Owl House, the cancellation had an impact on how he was written. Part of this is because the show had to expedite a lot of things that they likely would have spent more time on had they gotten more time, with Hunter's growth as a character likely got some changes when they needed to get down to the bare essentials to have the show end in a reasonably satisfying way.

As I mentioned in the Stringbean post, I'm aware this is fueled by a lot of speculation, but I'm willing to bet that Hunter's arc to becoming a member of the "Hexsquad" (as the fandom has collectively agreed to call Luz and her Hexside friends' group) was going to be a more gradual process. We likely would have seen him be more prickly with the group for longer than we do in the final product, even if a lot of key events of Season 2B stayed the same. I personally doubt that would be the case, given the pacing ramping up more, and plot points being dropped.

We know that starting with Season 2B, there were cuts. We know that the Galdorstones because Dana herself stated as much. We also know Galdorstones are an "ingredient" in making a Grimwalker, and what is Hunter? Oh, right, a Grimwalker. The Galdorstone plot elements likely would have been in Hunter's arc as a character, with some kind of self-acceptance of his Grimwalker identity.

Hunter being a Grimwalker in the series feels just like a convenient way to have him feel isolated from the rest of the main group (outside of his lack of natural magic abilities), and ultimately means nothing for the character. Him being a clone of Caleb Whittebane means basically nothing in the greater context of the narrative, and like a footnote of Hunter's arc. Part of this is because we don't have much context for Caleb beyond brief mentions and whatnot, but also because we know next to nothing about Grimwalkers. At the end of the day, this is a thing that adds the illusion of depth without really doing much.

Of course, I understand why we don't get the details/additional context for Grimwalkers and Caleb Whittebane; those details don't really matter for Luz's arc, which, as the main character of the series, takes precedence over literally everything else. Dana and the team had to make a choice, and they chose to focus on Luz's arc (which I cover in my post about people "not getting" what her arc is), rather than Hunter's arc, or any other character's arc. It was more important for the sake of the show ending in a satisfying way in what little time they had.

With that said, however, it does leave Hunter as a character with this vague idea of having substance under the surface (i.e. character depth), but it's been shaved down to the bare minimum for the sake of brevity. We can all assume things about his upbringing and whatnot, but that ultimately doesn't mean much because we don't see that stuff. It's not in the show, and because the show has a distinct lack of in-universe supplementary material, it means nothing. We can assume a lot about who Hunter is because of how Belos views him as an object, and subjected him to things that we can certainly label as "abusive," but as an abuse survivor, I don't really need Hunter for that when Amity exists and has a more tangible arc that involves her abusive parental figure.

Speaking of, that abusive parent thing is really only used well in one episode for Hunter, in my view, and that's in the episode "Eclipse Lake." Hunter contrasts Amity in that episode in a very good way from a writing standpoint. Both are kids that come from crappy homes, and both of them are hunting the same thing. He is able to effectively weaponize Amity's insecurity caused by her mother's abuse to make her think Luz is going to break up with her if she fails in finding the Titan's Blood, and he's able to because we know he's in a similar boat to what he projects onto Amity and Luz's relationship. It's the one time where Hunter's arc highlights what the character's journey could have been, as they could have returned to this insecurity angle later in a proper Season 3, and have Amity be someone who helps Hunter understand that his new friends won't cast him aside if he "doesn't get results." They could have done this in either realm, but they didn't have time.

Then there's his budding feelings for Willow. It's a sweet relationship at it's core, and the fact that the show never got the chance to properly explore it in canon, it's become the fandom's favorite ship to write that isn't Lumity, and sort of dominates a lot of the fanfics I see now because Lumity has been explored so much by comparison (it's honestly a little annoying, as a Lumity fan). Dana even implied that it's canon in a livestream after the finale, but because it didn't get explicit confirmation within the show, it is just that: implied. It could have been something that not only expanded on Hunter's character, but also Willows (not that I think she really needs the added depth at the end of the day, but that's a discussion for another day), and that's just what cancellation does to the non-essential characters in a story.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying a character needs to be "essential" to justify their existence in a story, nor do I think characters like Hunter or Willow are "unimportant." I'm just saying they simply become less essential to the broader narrative of the series.

Ultimately, that leads into why I think Hunter is such a bloody frustrating character to think about: all of the things that make him who he is feel like they were done better elsewhere with other characters, or had to be trimmed down to a sliver of relevance for the sake of getting things done within the time limit the cancellation of the show put on things, because it wasn't an essential piece of the plot when cuts had to be made.

I can't really accept that he has "depth" in the way a lot of people do because I don't equate headcanons and assumptions with depth. Hunter's a character that has the visage of a character with depth and intrigue and all of the qualities of what most would consider a "good character" on the surface, but lacks a lot of that, at least to me, because he didn't get the time devoted to him that is required.

Amity serves as a strong point of comparison to me, because she has the time put in pre-cancellation to be interesting. We see her gradual arc from "Mean Girl at the top of her class" to "dorky sapphic girl that's happier than she's ever been" over the course of her many appearances, and I feel like if the show had gotten a proper 3 Season order, we would have seen more of that from Hunter. We would have seen him gradually open up to others, and gradually become happier and have his "Amity breaking the pendant" moment equivalent where he gets to finally accept that he deserves to be happy.

We get hints that he's happier in the Human Realm because he is allowed to spread his wings and discover things he's passionate about, but we don't really get much beyond that because the show didn't have the time to properly explore Hunter's progression as a person up to that point. It's like a sandwich that had chunks of it's filling taken out of it before you get it. You might still enjoy the sandwich, but you might also be like "man, I wish it had more stuff in it."

Those are my thoughts on Hunter put into a post. Ultimately, I know there's gonna be people who say that I'm still "objectively wrong" about any of this, because some people don't actually know what objectivity is... but that's to be expected. Hopefully there's enough people out there who understand where I'm coming from. I'm not really looking to debate my position, but I'm open to hearing others' opinions.

Until the next random Tumblr essay!

#The Owl House #TOH #Hunter TOH #The Owl House Analysis #TOH Analysis #The Owl House Spoilers #TOH Spoilers #Talking about the cancellation #again #How the cancellation affected the show #Long Post #Hunter

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unmask-strange-aeons · 8 months ago

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I was originally convinced it was strange, but after the blood tubes post I am not that convinced. Those blood tubes are proper blood tubes, and the fact they have no information such as barcodes that go along with it is a bit sus. Most machines cannot run without a barcode, I know some smaller hospitals might run them without barcodes and just paperwork but I'm not too sure.

Also I have never seen blood tubes in just ziplock bags without information (such as test requested). Also putting patient samples in work fridges are a fireable offence (once again this is just where I am in lab sciences). There's a high chance it probably does happen in some areas. Also the fact that they are all lavender tops is odd, as blood tubes are normally sent down clumped as patients not as types of tests. These tubes could also be someone who has a port, I'm aware some people maybe asked to take out some of their blood, but for my own personal experience they tend to be in hep tubes, with a syringe, not a pressure tube.

So it could be some real blood tubes with fake blood in it. Lavender tubes have been in limited supply in some parts of America, but that's not applicable everywhere. Also if you were to be buying blood tubes as a troll to do this you wouldn't bother buying a few of each colour.

I am genuinely a bit worried, I want to be reassured that this is just a funny troll.

So here are a few ideas how this "Blood" situation could come to be.

So lets get the most concerning point put of the way the "blood" situation. There are many substances that can look like blood, and i do generally not belive this to be real blood. Such as red honey and red syrup. Or its real blood they found somewhere. Now you might wonder why would Father Strange go dumster diving for possible blood vials? Because she doesnt, what you need to remember is that father Strange doenst work alone, she has hundrets if not thousands of patreons who would be able to do this. If even only one would find something like this they could just sent a picture of it to Strange.

The next points those vials are something you can buy. We found the exapt same tubes on the internet. They are called //3ml Draw Vacutainer™ Cat no. BD 367838 Blood Tubes K2EDTA with BD Hemogard™// just google them and you will find a packed size 100 for only 20 bucks. Now the labes, everyone can print them. Or you even go as far as to write to the company and request a costome order. Or some patreon found them and sent pictures to Strange.

We all are thinking that Strange is like us. But she isnt. She has 1 million followers on youtube and hundrets if not thausands of Patreons, what for us could be a very different task she could just outsource give the project to others. And in the price situation, the Patreons are paying her money. And she has youtube revenue. She may not be the richest Person on the earth but we cannot underestimate her resources. Not only her money but also her manpower. She isnt alone. There are hundrets of people following the muppet, do i say all of them are Patreons? No, but it wouldnt be too far fetched to say that many are. This also gives her a good oppertunity to create more Tumblr blogs and have them interect with her Muppet persona, we know that the muppet has stated that "his" roommates have tumblr blogs, and i am very sure we will see them in the future. She isnt like us. She has the money and the manpower to pull this off. Who else on tumblr would have the resources and the motivation to this? To create the ultimate Tumblr fake story. Something so big it streches all the way from tumblr to Tik tok. No one.

@strange-aeons is @the-muppet-joker, pass it on.

#unmask the strange #strange aeons #the muppet joker #the croaker movement #the brotherhood #the sisterhood #father strange #muppet joker #the muppets #help me reveal the thruth!!!

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rillils · 1 year ago

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what hurts me most is thinking abt people realizing just how YOUNG bucky actually is

it's so fucking unfair, it just breaks your heart to even think about it, doesn't it?

consider catfa. here you have a young man barely into his late 20s, when you're technically a fully grown adult, but really you're most likely still trying to get your shit together, you know, still figuring out how Adulting™ really works - and then it's one tragedy after the other for him

Bucky has his whole life ahead of him, and instead of getting to choose a path of his own, of building a life for himself, he is:

drafted into a war he never even wanted to be a part of

captured, forced into hard physical labor and ultimately experimented on against his will

kinda roped into going back to the front lines after being rescued (not against his will this time, but let's face it, there was no way in hell that he would have gone home while Steve was still out there putting his life on the line)

captured once more when his whole team thought him dead, tortured in every possible way, taken apart, experimented on some more, quite possibly put on god knows what kind of substances, either to further improve his physical performances or to aid in keeping him docile and easier to manipulate - or, well, for both of those reasons I guess

brutally stripped of his identity, his memories, his free will, his humanity, and reshaped into a killing machine, a weapon to be used whenever necessary, and, as they say, put away wet. and then rinse and repeat for sixty-nine years.

the truly horrifying part is that they didn't just hurt him, they also forced him to hurt other people. people whose lives were taken by his own hands, when he was barely even an unwilling passenger in his own body. so here he is, just… grieving,

both for himself - the years he lost to torture and brainwashing, and can never get back again; and the life he could have had, with all the people he loved, in the place he used to call home - and for all the victims of the Soldier and their respective families, left to mourn their loved ones, often without even knowing why.

he could have lived a normal, quiet, happy life, but all of that was taken away from him.

BUT but but butt butt

here's the thing.

actually, here's a couple of things.

you see, pieces of crap like Endgame will try to convince you that, if things didn't go exactly your way the first time around, you should just give up on your future altogether and fuck off to the past, where you can live out an unhealthy fantasy and have a creepy, dystopian-coded life as-- well, not even as yourself, just as somebody else wearing your own face.

don't listen to pieces of crap like Endgame, they give the shittiest kind of advice.

because! because even after everything he went through, Bucky's still alive! his life isn't over. and that's the beauty of it! he SO can still be happy, and do all the things he didn't get to do back in the day. sure, the timing might not be what he originally thought, back before the war, but just because his plans got derailed doesn't mean that he can't build his own life now. and that's exactly what he's going to do, one step at a time - and YES, with Steve by his side, if I get any say in this (and this being my answer to an ask on my blog, I get all the say lol)

so I hereby declare that Bucky gets to be as fucking happy as can be! like, SO MUCH FUCKING HAPPINESS, YOU CAN'T EVEN QUANTIFY IT. so much fucking happiness, you'd think he might get sick of it!!!! but he won't!!!!!!

I think he does find that calm he so desperately needed. I think he gets to find himself again, gets to meet all the parts of him he thought he'd lost, the ones even he had forgotten. I think, he even gets to meet some new sides of Bucky Barnes he hadn't had the chance to discover yet.

I think he learns that some days are worse than others, and on those days, he learns to show himself a little kindness, and a little forgiveness for not being who (he used to think) he was supposed to be, and a little love for who he is.

I think he also learns that, while there are some bad days, and there will always be, most of them are actually, surprisingly, good days. I think he learns that he has the right to have good days. I think he learns that he deserves to have good days. I think he learns that it's okay to feel good; that there's nothing silly or lazy in just sitting outside in the sun, and basking in its warmth like a happy little lizard, and wishing you never had to move from that spot at all.

I think he gets to be the nerd he always was deep down; science nerd, space nerd, book nerd, any sort of nerd flavor he can find the time and will to explore.

I think he gets to build a home for himself, with the man who always meant Home to him, more than any house ever could.

I think he gets to wake up to good-morning kisses, and to good-morning fingers carding tenderly through his hair, and good-morning playful groping under the sheets, and good-morning "sorry I just kneed you in the groin, lemme kiss it better for ya", and good-morning giggles because Steve's bedhead achieves epic levels of Bird's Nest first thing in the morning, and good-morning pretty eyes looking back at him from Steve's pillow, drinking him in like no sight in the world will ever be as heartrendingly beautiful as Bucky waking up next to him in their big, big bed, and good-morning "how do you want your eggs?", and good-morning "let's skip eggs and have french toast today", because today, today he's feeling good.

and that's only the start, honey 💕💕💕

#stucky just stucky #personal #bucky barnes #stucky #i got carried away fjdhsk SORRY MY BAD HONEY #*flies into the sun*

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disventure-rewrite-takes · 9 months ago

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I think the way Tom’s backstory was laid out was really poor— his scars don’t make sense to have all been one horrible bout of torture (they’re not even all the same kind of scar, it doesn’t make sense) and he’s also like. Kinda young (29 or something, right?) to have been out on the field?

It would’ve been so cool if we got more on how that actually happened. Clearly he has a drive to help people (and usually in my own smaller writings I take that fact and run with it) but go a bit further than that. Maybe his family somehow had something to do with why he got into the agency despite having just. Awful stealth and deception skills. Maybe he was some kind of practical prodigy.

I don’t know MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS INSANE STORYLINE MATTERS! PLEASE!

Also maybe letting his facial scars impact his appearance further would’ve been cool. Like maybe he’s blind in one of his eyes or one of his nostrils are closed over (in the case of making this a burn or something).

I mean, cmon… it’s insane he has both of his ears. Make him lose an ear.

Or at least something besides sexy battle scars. Im going to foam at the mouth. Maybe make them look like something specific happened? Maybe? Bare minimum? Yeah?

- 🫀

THIS!!! you understand my problem with his design!!! like yeah one glance and he looks super pleasing design-wise but scars aren’t always just meant to be pretty, let alone battle/torture scars.

this isn’t to toot my own horn but rather for a character design comparision. take my OC kagayaki next to tom:

which one’s history can you guess, understand, and accept better? is it the one with the eyepatch, as if hiding something he may be ashamed of, perhaps a disfigured eye, as well as half his face literally burnt off? or is it the tumblr sexyman with scars that are there just to make him look sexy?

and i’m not saying you can’t have a scar meant to make a character look sexier, but at least give it a clear past. those scars did NOT come from torture. here’s another OC of mine, samejima; he has a scar i gave him at first simply to make him hot, but then went back and gave it more of a past and even added more scars:

there’s a burn scar similar to kagayaki’s (they have a. past.), but also a classic sexy scar™ that he got in a fight with his mentor. (he may not be the best example because he’s like. magic and shit and that’s why his left eye is not blind despite the scar - at least his right one is - and why he can still grow facial hair on the burn scar. BUT STILL.) you don’t have to give him the burn scar, he still works with just that other one because IT HAS A CLEAR AND LOGICAL PAST.

back to tom though, i would so redesign him so he has half his face burnt off and he’s blind in one eye. and just for shits and giggles we could cover his torso in burn scars too. make his nipples fall off idrk. just give me something of substance!!! i beg of you ONC PLEASE!!!!!!!

TL;DR tom’s scars are there just to make him look sexy and don’t contribute well to his overall character design and arc, rather making them even more confusing or illogical.

#disventure camp #tom disventure camp #plot rewrite #character redesign #heart anon #also tagging in case you guys are interested in these ocs:#magic of love #magic of love - canonically47

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crownedcupidd · 2 months ago

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Your art is lovely!! I really like all your OCs, I'd like to know what's up with the sad one in the armor and the purple one if you'll tell me!

thank you!! I would love to yap about these two :3

First up, the angel in the armour's name is Alden, whose species was synthetically created by a god named Dalton for the purposes of hunting down and killing Progenies.

Knight/soldier type deal who, like the rest of his species, was born to fight and is very good at it - they are able to directly wield a substance called Ichor, which is the fundamental fuel for magic in this world (Gods have a lot of this in their blood, which is why they're so powerful), which they then use to form weapons and their golden armour.

Over time, Alden felt that this cycle of violence and fighting was doing more harm than good, and eventually exiled himself from his god and his people.

Dalton goes missing at some point, which becomes the catalyst to the downfall of his species - Alden very well could be the only one left.

An Event™ causes Alden to have his left wing completely mangled, and leading him to believe that he is a failure. He is left lost in the ruins of his people and his beliefs.

Eventually meets a weird pink moth guy and he's doin a lil better now. Not as optimistic as he used to be but still tries to do good.

unfortunately don't have any recent doodles of him to post with this so erm erm erm uhm uhm moving on -------------------------

The purple one goes by "The Prince". I'll keep this a bit vague since I was planning on chatting about him a bit more in the future. The Prince is only one half of the whole!! He is a Progeny, which you can kind of think of as like a demon/demigod type creature that are born in...strange situations involving mortals somehow surviving coming into contact with something that their bodies & minds cannot handle. (cough). This also almost always involves a near-death experience. He was originally born as elven royalty but then Bad Things Happen, naturally.

Once upon a time, The Prince basically appeared out of nowhere and then went on a warpath. Would show up and kingdoms crumbled around him. He very quickly became notorious as a terrible omen and a creature to be avoided at all costs.

Until one day The Prince completely vanished - and hasn't been seen since.

In reality, he ended up sealing away the majority of his power and has since stayed in a smaller form more reminiscent of what he looked like before his original transformation:

He goes by the name Sylvan - he considers himself and "The Prince" two separate entities (hence, the pseudonym). Bit of a hermit and rarely makes appearances - "Sylvan" is still quite well-known, but the realities of his true self have mostly been lost to time.

He is still able to use some of his abilities but they come at a much steeper cost. He has managed to carefully build up a reputation of strength and cruelty for himself despite his weakened state which wards off the majority from attempting to come after him for any reason. He often puts up an act when in public for this reason.

Like most progenies, the exact workings of his magic are mostly a mystery - but the vast majority have some inkling that he is able to affect the mind in some way.

#ask #crown art #oc #alden #the prince #sylvan

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auxiliarydetective · 1 year ago

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If you could form a crew out of any one piece character from any media consisting on ten people, who would you chose and why?

Now that I have more or less calmed down from the boop war, here we go!

You want me to make a One Piece crew out of 10 people from different media, right? I'm gonna give myself the little rule that I'm only allowed to take one character per fandom, otherwise my crew might end up being, like, half LXG or something. Also, another thing I'll be taking into account is how well the characters I'd pick would do in the world of One Piece because some people would just not have a good time there. And we're assuming that everyone gets more or less isekai-ed into the OP world, so they're not taking any technology stuff or fandom-specific powers with them (sadly). SO! Here we go!

Every crew needs...

A captain

A navigator

A doctor

A chef

A carpenter/shipwright

... and would benefit from having...

A swordsman

A gunslinger/sniper

A helmsman

fun people

10 people you say? Alright, here are my picks!

The Captain

You might not know who this is, but I pick Lukas from the Jim Knopf und Lukas der Lokomotivführer series.

(no gifs, how sad...)

Why? Because a good captain needs to have leadership qualities. People need to trust them and they need to be able to hold the crew together. And Lukas can definitely do that. Also, he can kick ass if he wants to. Generally, I think he'd thrive in the world of One Piece. And he knows a thing or two about fixing steam engine locomotives, so... Submarine pirate ship??? Steampunk-esque? Even if not, I'm convinced he could figure out how to work on a regular pirate ship as well. He's an engineer, he'll figure it out. Also also we need someone to babysit the rest of the crew and he is Dad™

The Navigator

So, this was actually tough, but then it hit me: DATA! MY BELOVED!

Someone let Data go to the world of One Piece, he would love it! And he would make for an excellent navigator, so his spot here is very deserved. Lukas can teach him about humanity and the beauty of life - they'd be such a perfect duo. Also, can definitely kick ass. And probably fix a ship. Also would hate the World Government despite the fact that he "has no emotions".

The Doctor

Some of you might call me stupid for this, but I picked none other than Doctor Henry Jekyll. His LXG version specifically.

LXG Henry is actually a medical doctor, as suggested by most scenes he's in, and he's got Hyde for when he needs to kick ass. I feel like he'd do well in the world of One Piece once he gets used to it. And the fact that he's a Victorian era doctor is actually helpful because the One Piece world doesn't have modern-day medical equipment widely available but that won't bother Henry because he never had it to begin with. Also he could probably mix together some substances to give his crew a strength boost once he gets over his guilt and fear of creating another HJ7. Also also I think talking to Lukas and/or Data would fix him.

The Chef

My pick would have to be Louis LeBeau from Hogan's Heroes.

I was originally considering Julieta Madrigal from Encanto, but LeBeau especially probably knows how to work with limited or sub-par rations and that's very helpful as a pirate. Also, he's small, so there's less space for the anger to go - which is bad news for the World Government, the Marines, and any hostile pirate crews.

The Carpenter/Shipwright

Okay, hear me out: Justus Jonas.

I think he could do it. My man knows how to tinker, he can probably work out how to fix a ship and have fun with it. It would be a challenge for his mind to learn it, which he would appreciate, and just generally the social climate of this little pirate crew I'm building would be good for him. Multiple parental figures, fellow autistic people... Fantastic! He'd get along with Data, right? Right??? Probably. And I'm convinced he could kick ass if he wanted to.

The Swordsman

At first I was a bit stuck with who to put here. I considered my beloved Diego Hargreeves (for the "get loved on, idiot" of it all) but then it hit me. We need the swordsman of all time... We need Link!

If Link is mute, that's not even a problem. Data will teach him sign language in no time. Easy! Just... don't let him into the kitchen.

The Gunslinger / Sniper

Okay, hear me out on this... My pick is the one and only Templeton "Faceman" Peck. Could technically be either the 80s or 2010 version since both have the potential to be silly, but the 80s version just fits in better here.

I mean, look at him! Tell me he wouldn't get along with the likes of Sanji. Also, he needs to see Momoiro Island, for reasons. I feel like a lot of people don't know that Face is the main sniper of the A-Team but he is! And his con-man abilities are a HUGE added bonus.

The Helmsman

This position was the first I filled and it has to go to the one and only Gordon Malloy.

Gordon can fly anything, so I'm convinced he could 100% learn how to steer a ship too. After all, we're in the world of One Piece. Not all ships are steered with steering wheels. And especially if it's actually a submarine this crew is on, it might have controls more similar to ones he's familiar with. Fighting-wise, I actually don't know if he'd be any good. He's a wild card. But I am convinced that he'd have a devil fruit, because my man has a history of eating things he's not supposed to because they look fun/tasty. He probably would kick ass with that devil fruit since he has the imagination needed to make it work.

Now, since I still have two spots left on my crew, time for...

Fun people!

Fun person #1 has to be George Luz.

He's here for the chaos, and I'm here for that. Him in combination with any of the people on this list is what I want to see. Silliest of all silly geese.

And for te tenth person... I honestly don't know! You know, just for the hell of it, get one of the Hargreeves siblings in here. Actually, this spot belongs to Diego, simply because he got beaten out of the swordsman spot by Link.

One sentence: Get loved on, idiot! That's why he's there.

There we go! That's it! This was really fun :)

(I don't have the energy to proofread this, I hope you don't mind)

#ask #lukas der lokomotivführer #data #henry jekyll #louis lebeau #justus jonas #templeton peck #gordon malloy #george luz #diego hargreeves #one piece

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