#this is why I end up taking naps at 10pm

[littlecofiegirl]

On the long holidays my Circadian rythm is like FUCK YEAH we're back to the genetically engineered 6 hours of sleep between 4 am and 10am. Yiss!

My body refreshed, my crops watered, my updates downloaded and so on.

End of the holiday...

Circa: Wha- what are you doing? Gettjng up at 6??? Why? What about the genetic hours? Why??? Go to sleep at 10pmHA! Sure okay... i mean its probably an emergency...

Me: Between 10pm and 6 am it's 8 hours! It should be enough! Why am I tired?

Circa: When is this emergency shift over? I cant keep you running on adrenaline. Thats stressfull to all of us.

Me: it'S NOT an emergency!!

Circa: *looks at the genes* based on these notes, it sure looks like it is, but okay we'll try.

Me: sleeps 6-8 hours and is tired all day.

Circa: This is not your normal sleep schedule.

Me: . . . I know, but can you help me out? Can you actually make me fall asleep at 10-11pm and allow me to get up at 6am?

Circa: sure. You just have to take some extra hours of your day, every day, to completely tire all your muscles out into exhaustion.... and some sleepy pills. To make sure your normal brain activity turns off at 10pm. I cant promise not to wake you up at 3 am though... cos you know... *looks at the gene table*.... but lets make a deal if you can sneak in a nap in the middle of the day... somewhere between 12-15pm from 20min to 4 hours then i can keep your brain functions normal. It will make you not tired at 10 pm though... but brain...

Me: . . . : (

[technicallyimportantsweets]

Horny Yuna

A/N: Just some random thought that was floating around my brain. Btw this is set when boys like you was made.

Warnings: Smut, Masturbation, Mommy Kink, abs riding, a teeny tiny bit of exhibitionism

Yuna’s POV:

It was another day of filming. So tiring. Promotions, dance practise, recording, photoshoot. All to make our boys like you song inspired by Taylor Swift. (Imagine seeing her in person it would be such a dream) Sometimes it’s so overwhelming being an idol, yes I do really love my job making midzy’s so happy but our work hours are hectic and unpredictable. We could be scheduled from 8 am all the way to 10pm and other days we have nothing on. Today we were lucky as all we had were some vocal recordings to do in the morning and dance practise for an hour as the dance isn’t to hard we just had to be synchronised.

“Yuna come on our driver is here.” Lia called.

“Yup I’ll be there soon.” In my usual excited tone. I finished the last touches of my makeup and left the dorm to join the others outside.

Our manager sat in the front seat chaeryeong and Yeji in the next two seats near the windows. And then me, Ryujin and Lia squished in the backseats.

We arrived at the studio in no time. The car ride totally wasn’t chaotic Yeji, lia and I were totally not belting our hearts out doing karaoke. Chaeryeong decided to scroll through social media and Ryujin took a nap which is impressive through all the noise.

( I don’t think people want more story bits so imma just cut to the smut )

It was Ryujin’s turn and boy I never thought I could get so turned on from those lyrics, it made me fantasise so many things while i waited for her to finish.

Well, you must be goin' crazy Thinkin' I'll be back, I'm sorry 'Cause you're cryin' like a baby But do I look like your mommy?

Yea you do look like my mommy and I am would be your best baby. I really want her long fingers plunging into my cunt that is dripping with need. Not sure if the lyrics are true but if you don’t like boys Ryujin I’m always here to be yours and only yours. I grinded slightly on the corner of the red couch I was sitting on hoping it would elevate the heat I was feeling but it only intensified.

Sigh what am I thinking i excused myself to the bathroom splashing water on my face. I really don’t want to mess up our friendship we even have so many years on our contract so if things ended awkwardly I would still have to see her everyday. God damn Yuna she thinks of you as a sister you even have the same last name for heavens sake.

( time skip )

After practising the dance I made the fatal mistake of looking towards Ryujin’s direction. Her abs glistened with a sheen layer of sweat her slightly below shoulder length messy hair. Oh how i would give anything to ride those abs. Ahhh why am i suddenly thinking so many dirty thoughts about my member.

“Unnie can we go home now?” I whined to Yeji the ache in my core being insufferable.

“Sure, but are you feeling ok? Your face is a bit red and your squirming a lot.”

“Yea I’m good just a bit under the weather.”

“If you say so.”

( At the dorms )

I bolted inside my room locking it as fast as possible throwing my outfit and under garments somewhere. Taking my fingers and plunging them immediately into my pussy dripping with arousal.

I turned on some fan cams of Ryujin and got to work.

Others POV:

“Do you think Yuna is ok? She has been acting odd all day and she ran straight into her room.” Chaeryeong commented.

“ I’m not sure but should someone check in on her?” Lia asked

“Ryujin”

They heard Ryujin’s name being called from Yuna’s room. Perhaps she needs medication or water.

Ryujin cautiously made her way over to Yuna’s room seeing what she wanted.

Ryujin POV:

Did I just hear Yuna groan? Is she ok? Is she that sick? I rushed to her door only to find it was locked.

She really sounded sick so I took my lock picking set out to pick her lock. What if she had fainted in there and hit her head? I had to at least make sure she was doing alright.

I was in the middle of picking her lock when I heard her moan Ryujinnie Mommy please… F-Faster. I definitely now had an idea what had occupied her mind all day. I was very flattered that, that someone was me. I now was really turned on and Yuna needed to fix the problem she started plus she sounded like she was having a little difficulty pleasuring herself so why don’t I just go in there and help her a bit.

“Oh you wanted me to go faster huh? What was that you were calling me, mommy?”

3rd person POV:

Yuna was shocked trying to pull a blanket over her as quick as possible hiding in embarrassment. Ryujin had seen it coming and immediately pulled the blanket off her. Revealing Yuna’s puffy flaps coated in a thick layer of cum and arousal.

“It’s not w-what it looks like unnie.”

“Are you sure because I came in here to help my baby and for her to get her mommy to a climax as well.”

Yuna was at a loss of words

“How does that sound” Ryujin said with a smirk

Yuna was still shocked and could only nod her head quickly in agreement. She never thought she would get another chance to indulge in her fantasies. She pulled down Ryujin’s clothes so fast it could beat an Olympian. Throwing Ryujin’s clothes somewhere she got to work on Ryujin’s pussy giving it a few kitten like licks. Then plunging her tongue in to the older girl. Ryujin produced some very unholy sounds that were music to Yuna’s ear. Determined to hear that sound from her unnie again she plunged her fingers in and sucked on her bud creating double stimulation.

“Yunahh— you ahh better not— stop mmmh.”

Ryujin’s sentences were barely coherent but they got the message along to Yuna. She picked up her speed and eventually was rewarded with a sweet sticky substance that she tried to take as much of it in her mouth but ultimately failing with some dribbling down the sides of her face.

“Unnie you good?”

Ryujin just laid there thoroughly fucked her eyes screwed shut panting not moving an inch.

“Sorry for being a bit greedy but woah Yuna mmmm you make me feel soooooo good”

“I didn’t  even know getting eaten out could feel like that” Ryujin slurred almost as if she was drunk

“Sorry to assume but you haven’t had sex yet im your first?!?”

“Uhm… no?” Ryujin’s voice came out quietly embarrassed that she had blurted out her secret that she was planning on taking to her grave.

“You give off such a girl crush vibe I just kinda assumed you’ve done it before if it makes you feel any better you’re my first as well.” ‘But definitely not my first sexual encounter I’ve been preparing for this day for ages’ Yuna added in her head.

“Being an idol has kept me pretty busy”

“Anyways my darling what is your first fantasy that you would like to fufill” Ryujin grabbed a magic wand like thing from a box nearby and waved it around in the air as if she was casting a spell

‘Fuck why the hell did ryujin pick up that and why does she look so innocent does she know that she’s holding a dildo?’ 

‘I wonder what this button does? And why does Yuna look redder than a tomato is that even possible?’ Ryujin thought 

‘I mean it’s probably just some lights right?’

Yuna quickly took the wand from Ryujin’s hand while she was inspecting the button and shoved it under pillow and switched positions with ryujin. Thump! Ryujin landed harshly onto the bed she didn’t even have the time to realize before she found a Shin Yuna grinding her pussy down onto her flat stomach.

( Authors note: idk how you guys do it with those fancy software thingos to do the text stuff but imma just be creative bare with me 😭)

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓🌷 = Lia

🌿🍵 Sleepy Matcha Lover 🍵🌿 = Ryujin

✨👑 Baby Princess 👑✨= Yuna

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛ = Chaeryeong 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭 = Yeji ( sorry guys ik the username sucks )

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Does anyone else think ryujin has been in Yuna’s room for an abnormally long time?

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Maybe they’re fucking

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓🌷: Maybe you just have a really dirty mind and ur just upset cause u haven’t been fucked in a long time 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭:  Nuh uh

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛:  Guys I’m sure they are responsible enough to not be doing that

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry : But what else could they be doing tho? 🤭

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭:  Says the one who bought a face roller in the shape of a dick 

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Yea but I was responsible with it wasn’t I?

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Sure sure if being responsible means sticking it up your pussy to see if it would fit 

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Nuh uh I never did that 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: 🙄

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓: Enough of this shenanigans even though I was a part of it we should probably go check in on them. 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: You sure about that? I can hear Yuna’s moans bouncing off the walls and they sound borderline pornographic and I don’t want to walk in on that.

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Unnie 🤣 I see you sitting by their door literally getting off from hearing their moans 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Meanie 🖕why did you rat me out 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Well since Chaeryeong ratted me out I’m bringing her down with me did you know she keeps a journal of at times in mv’s and videos we look the most sexy/ fuckable?

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Unnie you meanie I’m not ur fan anymore hmph.

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Noooo cherrryyyy 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭 deleted a message

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: fine ur forgiven 

🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓: We going in or no?

[danieyells]

Rui mizuki’s lines from Tokyo debunker if you haven’t yet PLEASE I will love you for all eternity

They’re edging me with the rui crumbs every chapter I can’t take it anymore

One flirty reaper coming right up!! And by right up i mean almost a week after you asked hhahaha

BUT YEAH WE DO GET A LITTLE OF HIM HERE AND THERE i wonder why he pops up so much. Especially for someone who allegedly tries not to be around other people much due to his deadly touch? Kinda sus--

also this is the first time i've posted all of someone's lines! not that i don't always end up posting 95% of them anyway, but for some reason some of Rui's were ordered weird(they're normally not entirely in order but they're usually sectioned properly, but for some reason one of his affinity chats was way in the wrong place) and I ended up closely paying attention to which one i was looking at and before i knew it i posted all of them lmao. . . .

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}, hey! Here's to another day vibing our way through curse twin life!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Huh? Did you know you've got unread messages? Oh, that's why you've been leaving me on delivered! Ahaha!"

no that's just because my adhd makes me hyperfocus on things and it refuses to allow me to attempt to allot attention or energy to things it deems me not having enough attention span or energy or time for and i'm sorry--

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Aw c'mon Ed, again? Why does he always leave his socks on the floor... It's actually exhausting picking up after him all the time..."

lazy sloppy vampire lol

"You look kind of tired {PC}, you doing okay? Why don't you stop by the bar later? I can be your shoulder to cry on."

"Hey! You on break now? If you're super nice and you're gonna come chill with me now, put your hands up!"

"{PC}...were you just checking me out? Hey, it's all good, don't be embarrassed!"

"Oof, Ed popped out of nowhere so I accidentally touched him and he died again. Now I have to carry him all the way back to the dorm..."

i love the face he makes when he says this lmao like he is so tired of Ed's carelessness!

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"{PC}! Did you come here to see me first thing? No way! You just made my day!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Aw c'mon, Ed, what are you doing sleeping out here? Didn't you just take a nap, old man? You're gonna catch a cold!"

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh hey, it's {PC}! Can't believe I ran into you here, so random! Guess we've gotta go on a date now, huh? It's like, written in the stars!"

i love flirty characters like rui lolol just. there's always More Going On there. and Rui starts off with More right off the bat.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I can touch the plants as long as I have gloves on! I mean yeah, I'm pretty sure the same goes for people, but don't you think it'd be scary to test it out?"

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Come swing by the bar later! I'd rather watch a pretty face like yours while I work instead of a bunch of drunk guys."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What? Ed was praising my good looks? I mean he's right, right? People always tell me my face is my only redeeming feature!"

but rui works so hard!? who's saying that!!

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh sorry, I don't do the whole class thing! You go, I'm all good here!"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ouch! Aw man, that rose thorn just scratched my arm... Wait, nooo! My rose bushes are wilting!!"

it's so easy for him to accidentally kill anything lmaoooo

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Are you out here by yourself, {PC}? Isn't that like not super dangerous? ...Wait, did that make sense? Whatever, let me walk you back!"

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sorry! A drunk customer broke a glass, so I'm cleaning it up! Everyone's a little pent-up lately, I guess."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Watering plants in the AM is such a mood lift, right? Whoa, everything's blooming like crazy out here! Better get my pruning shears."

it's a testament to how well he takes care of these plants that they grow super well in permanently-night Obscuary, i think. 8'D

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Huh? Look, you've got loose threads on your uniform. Give it to me, I'll fix it for you!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey, {PC}, did you eat yet? My door's always open! You can just stay the night after!"

damn already inviting you to stay over at affinity 13--just don't share the bed, you'll wake up super dead

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Wow, I am dead tired... but I've gotta take a shower, make breakfast, and do the laundry before those two sleepyheads get up."

it takes a real man to be a single mother. . . .

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh hey, what's your poison? Wait, I mean, morning! Man, I tried to take my friend's drink order when we were hanging out yesterday too, occupational hazard I guess."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"A mission? I'm good, thanks though! Oh hey, you should invite Lyca! He'd totally be into that!"

Lyca also probably needs them to pass the grade lol

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"No way, look at the time! Wish I could keep listening to you talk... Wanna stay over?"

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Oh man, I'm sorry! I'm closing early, I've got plans with a friend tonight. It'd be awesome if you could come by tomorrow!"

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Congrats on making it through another day, {PC}! I seriously admire you for working so hard. You're not doing this all for me, are you?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Whoa, you wanna help me with the housework, {PC}? It's all good, thanks though! The thought's more than enough for me."

c'mon, refusing help at affinity 20? let the pc be your little helper at least!

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Obscuary looks like it'd be full of downers, but it's actually pretty lively in there, right? Not gonna lie, I def prefer it that way."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Lyca's an open book, but the flip side is he says the darndest things... I feel like watching him is bad for my heart..."

he talks so much about his teammates, he really is such a mom. . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"My eyes are red? Huh, that's weird... Oh yeah, I was cutting onions just now when I was preparing the appetizers for the bar!"

. . .idk this is pretty high affinity. . .you were crying about something weren't you rui. . .or romeo paid you in weed and you were getting tweaked up in the back of the bar

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Oh, don't worry about me, I always sleep late! I'm down to chat till you drift off to dreamland."

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Sometimes I wish I could've met you as a regular guy. I guess you wouldn't have given me the time of day if I had though, ahaha."

is it just me or. . .does it feel like he gets a little more distant as his affinity gets higher? like after affinity 17 it feels like he gets a little less flirty and a little more at arms length. . .like he knows his feelings are getting so strong that he might not be able to resist touching you, but he's too scared to do it even with the gloves on. . .so he tries to keep you a little further away. . .and then he admits it, he wishes he could be with you like a normal person, but if he were just some flirt in the street none of this would have ever happened. Poor Rui, he's cursed to be beloved but unable to give love how he wants in return.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh man, so nice... The weather's like perfect this time of year, right? Wish we could just chill like this forever."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Man, you wouldn't even know it was spring with how bleak it is in Obscuary! Aren't there any cuter anomalous plants out there?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I feel like Ed's getting more senile every day... Maybe I should confiscate his tablet."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"So, what do you think of my spring-inspired cocktail? Almost as cute as you, right? I'm gonna add it to the menu!"

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"C'mon! It's summer, how can the sun never rise in Obscuary!? I wanna get a tan!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"It's not summer if you don't hit the beach! I used to go all the time back when I surfed. And then I'd pick up girls on my way home... Just kidding, I promise!"

why 'just kidding' lolol you're not together! this relationship is not monogamous even if you were!

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ta-da! I've got sparklers! Fireworks are fun and all, but there's something special about holding a light that only sparkles for a hot moment."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"It's so hot out, I bet the bar's gonna be a ghost town... Guess I'll send Harurin and Romi a PR message!"

reaching out to the local population of alcoholic ghouls to remind them to give him business lol

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"There's so many dead leaves this time of year, it's a nightmare keeping on top of them! But you can use them to make a fire and roast stuff. Gotta look on the brights!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, when are you free? I have a date idea for us—a romantic walk to admire the fall leaves! I'll pack us a lunch!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh damn! You look so cute all bundled up like that, {PC}! We've gotta take a selfie together!"

direct contrast to romeo who sees you in winterwear and calls you a fat slug kekw

(between 8pm and 5am)

"That piano anomaly makes the soundtrack for the bar! The song picks really tug at the heartstrings, right?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"You're a little late today, huh? If you can't get up in the cold, I could be your alarm!"

just gotta be really loud since he'd be too afraid to touch you awake, since he actually wants you to y'know wake up--

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh man, how is Lyca so full of energy when it's this cold? You should take him to Frostheim and see if he runs around in the snow like a puppy."

rui pointing at lyca: that dog is my son please take care of him

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Nothing like winter to make you miss the warmth of human touch... Oh, I'm good! Just getting to talk like this is all I need!"

BBY WE ARE ALL BUNDLED UP. YOU CAN HUG YOU'VE BOTH PROBABLY GOT ON AT LEAST TWO LAYERS JUST DON'T TOUCH FACES.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Here, this Rui-original hot cocktail will warm you up! I'll blow on it for you, free of charge!"

is this the next step after gamer bathwater. host club host breath.

His birthday: (March 14th)

"Yeah, it's my birthday today! Oh damn, you're gonna celebrate it with me!? No way, I'm like, super touched right now!!"

Your birthday:

"{PC}... Happy birthday!! C'mon, birthday girl, sit down and chill out! This is your day, you should take it easy!"

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Want to start the year off on a high and come on a shrine date with me?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Oh damn, are these for me? My heart! Is this your way of professing your love to me? Do I have a shot here?"

White Day: (March 14th)

"Ta-da! Happy White Day! This is for you! What's inside? You've gotta open it and find out!"

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Guess what!? I finally broke my curse! Let's hold hands... just kidding! April Fools!"

this feels more like a joke on him than on you. . .a mean one at that lol

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Happy happy happy Halloween!! Trick or treat! Obviously I'm picking trick, ahaha!"

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas, {PC}! Oh man, I must be like, super blessed to get to spend it with you!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Hey, hey, hey! We finally get to spend some time together, it's illegal to take your eyes off me!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC}? You seem kind of busy, guess I'll take this chance to get some work done…"

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"{PC}, you're back! I was worried you'd forgotten about me!!"

he's so flirty and clingy, but also he can't be clingy because he's scared you'll die if he touches you, even if he's wearing gloves. . .also surely your curse would cancel out his? Then again I'm sure a reaper i stronger than any other [living] anomaly out there. . . .

but. yeah. rui's a darling haha he just. he's another one of the 'i just wanna be a regular person, i wanna go back to normal' characters whose desire to just be a guy makes him special in a more fantastical world. i'm really looking forward to seeing the Obscuary chapter--probably like a month away, right? 'u'

[idontplaytrack]

Little secret

Regina George x nb! reader

Warnings: age regression, fluff, crying

In which Regina finds that you are…little after an accidental slip.

Requested!

The last two weeks were hectic, you had a test everyday. And then after school, you were off to work most days, only coming home after 10pm. Because of this, you hadn’t had much time to spend with Regina. She knew about the tests at school because she obviously had those too, she also knew you worked a part-time job after school— multiple days a week. You and Regina would FaceTime or at least text every night before you went to bed when you were busier. In other words, most of your time together with her would be at school.

Although…your part-time job was relatively new. You’ve only started it about two months ago. Were you more tired? Sure. Did you need the job? Absolutely. So you swallowed any unhappiness about the job and just did it. Regina seemed to have picked up on how withdrawn you’ve become ever since despite not saying anything about it yet. She knew you had better things to be worried about.

Today was Saturday, the tests have all been completed as of yesterday but you were currently at work and it sucked. It was so busy, and the customers have been so rude. You were trying your damn best to not lose your cool during such a busy time, and thank goodness it wasn't a day where you guys were understaffed. Noticing the time on the POS system in front of you, you saw that you had just twenty minutes left for your shift. Next, something completely unexpected happened: you saw Regina walk in and sit herself down on the bench by the door after a brief moment of eye contact with you. Weird, you thought. Why was she here? No, why was she here to pick you up from work on the day you decided you were going to finally destress when you got home? Destress by age regressing. That’s how you coped, and honestly, given the time you’ve had lately…it was terribly hard to fight the urge to not do so. You felt it happening, but you were literally forcing yourself to make sure it doesn’t happen, forcing yourself to make it through this shift because you finally had tomorrow off work.

You clocked out, heaving a sigh of relief as you went to grab your bag from the lockers. Then, you made your way over to Regina, greeting her quietly. “Why are you here?”

“To pick you up, baby. Why else? Haven’t had any downtime with you all week.” Regina bit back a smile, gaze softening when she looked at you.

“I know you’re here to pick me up, but— eh, never mind.” Your voice trailed off at the end.

Regina squints, worried at your frustration. “You alright, baby?”

You chuckled wryly, “Not so sure.”

“Wanna talk about it?” She asks, starting the engine of her Jeep.

“Mm-mm.” You shook your head no then looked outside as she started to drive.

She exhales, eyes glancing at you briefly, “Take a nap then? I’ll wake you up when we’ve reached my house.”

You nodded, then quickly drifted off to sleep without much trouble. It was better than being awake and worried, and worried about your plans to do what you wanted to do to help with the stress. But with the way she was talking to you, somehow being extra gentle than usual, your mind was easily coaxed into a regressed state. It was happening, and you were just avoiding it by being asleep for now.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, carefully shaking you awake. Your eyes slowly peeled open. “Hi.” She whispered, “We’re here, baby. Come on, let’s get inside.”

You nod, eyes barely open. You followed her lead, clinging onto her arm and walking into the house, then upstairs. Once in her room, you curled up in her bed, ignoring everything else— you just felt like napping. You were sleepy. You heard Regina moving around in her room, probably at her vanity to remove her accessories and makeup. She chuckles at the sight of you so comfortably laying in her bed.

“Sleepy?” She asked, “Or are you feeling sick?”

“Sleepy.” You mumbled, hands reaching out to her and you sulked.

“Aw, what’s wrong?” She asked, voice still soft.

You blinked innocently, “Hug?” You didn’t even worry about anything right now, you just knew you wanted her to hold you.

“One minute, baby.” She smiled crookedly, Regina was slightly worried. She’s never seen you like this before. Not that she was complaining by any means…because you seemed so very cute right now. Maybe you were just clingy? She thought.

While she was changing into comfy clothes, Regina asked if you wanted to do the same too, but you just whined. Another moment of concern went through her head, she sighs. Chewing on her lower lip, “Baby, is something bothering you?”

“No.” You told her timidly, noticing that tense expression on her face. Regina walked over to her bed and sat down next to you, studying you carefully. “I don’t want you to go through tough days alone, y/n. You’ve got me. I know things have been busy lately.”

You nodded, her hand rests on your side, endearingly squeezing it comfortingly. “I’m okay.”

“I know, bubs. You want a hug?”

“Yes, please.” You grinned cheekily.

“Mmkay, come here, bubs.” Regina opened up her arms and you quickly snuggled up against her.

“Can we play?” You muttered.

Yeah, no, Regina’s decided that you weren’t just clingy. But it was okay.

“Yeah, play what?” She asked, running a hand through your hair.

You hummed in thought, “Your iPad?”

“Weren’t you sleepy just a minute ago?” She laughed lightly.

You murmured, face buried in her chest. “Take a little nap, then we can play when you wake up. Deal?”

You shook your head, still not wanting to go to sleep. “Feel funny.” You muttered, arm now wrapped around her loosely.

“Hm?”

You sniffled, “Mommy and daddy yell a lot now.”

“They do?” She asked, soothingly rubbing your back.

You nod, “Yeah. It’s loud. So I hide.”

“It’s not your fault, hm?”

“It is though.” You breathed out shakily.

“No, it’s not.” She repeated, “It’s not your fault.”

“They yell my name.” You sighed, “I sit— I sit in my closet until I don’t hear anything.”

“That’s okay, baby. You just need to stay safe. You can call me, too, okay?”

“Okay.” You sniffed again. “…’m tired. School, work…so many people.”

“I know, I know…you’re okay. Just rest now, alright, baby?”

“Mmm.” You mumbled incoherently, nodding once again, “Will you leave me, Reggie?”

“Never.” Regina answered, “I promise.”

“Daddy left. Said he wasn’t gonna come back.” You laughed humourlessly, “Mommy was so angry.”

She didn’t know what to respond with, so she just let you get it off your chest while holding you and whispering words of assurances into your ears. “You’re safe with me, baby. Never gonna leave, okay? Never.”

And so…your little secret was out, and things weren’t so bad after all. When you had Regina with you, at least.

“Never?” You looked up at her.

“Never.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

This took me way too longgg. I’m so sorry anon😵‍💫

[switchysyphus]

Another hunger fantasy

Iv been thinking about this new reality where consuming food is only allowed during specific times. Maybe it’s illegal to eat outside of the designated times or maybe there is a spell that doesn’t let food go in your mouth outside of the food times.

You can only eat breakfast between 7am and 9am. Perhaps this works great for working folks, everyone can have a filling breakfast before they head to work but what if they have a long commute and have to be out of the house by 7am to reach work on time? Or if they accidentally snooze their alarm and sleep in a little longer, oops no breakfast for you! Maybe on the weekends it would be the hardest, why would anyone wake up early just to eat? Weekends are for being lazy and sleeping in like I just did, it’s past 10am now so in this world no breakfast for my tummy.

Lunch can only be eaten between 1pm and 2pm. Maybe you have a boss who likes to schedule meetings during this hour because they have a hunger kink or maybe you get so busy you forget to eat during the hour. If you are studying maybe the only available class you need to graduate is being offered at that time! There would be lots of hunger y tummies by now if it was forced to skip breakfast and lunch!

A snack is only allowed between 5pm and 5:15pm but what if you are commuting home during this very short window? Or maybe you reach home by 5:10 but desperately need to use the bathroom! What would you choose food or the bathroom for those 5 minutes you have to spare?

Dinner is only from 9pm to 10pm. If you chose bathroom and were forced to skip all meals today it would be torture to have to wait till 9pm! Maybe you are exhausted from the day and decide to take a nap but end up sleeping till a little past 10 or just decided to sleep early tonight. Just imagine how hungry you would be if all those situations kept your poor tummy empty for more than 24 hours!

[cherrysurf]

untitled|8:10pm

fem reader, teen pregnancy mentioned, angst (sorta idk), one night stand, no happy ending

you’re two twin boys were a product of teen pregnancy and having a one night stand with your highschool crush osamu miya. As luck would have it they came out looking exactly like him, unfortunately you never told osamu i mean why would you? you felt as though it would do more harm than good for not only yourself but your boys that you’ve grown to love so dearly. You had them at 19 years old, now being 21 and the boys being three years old they even start to unbeknownst to you pick up his characteristic. It made you laugh at the fact they were copy n paste of the man you once had a huge crush on yet sad, thankfully at this age you don’t have to worry just yet about the “who’s dad” “where’s there father” “oh i be there dad is so proud to have two boys” comments yet, although sometimes it did cross your mind to find osamu and tell him but then you also don’t want to go up and say “hey remember that one night stand we had, well now we have twin boys that are three years old” at his doorstep so you just don’t bother.

one day as you and the twins walk into an onigiri restaurant, because they were too hungry after the park and unfortunately needed another snack since you didn’t pack enough. much like their father back in highschool anyways you all three go sit down, you’re trying to settle the boys down and then you hear “hey what can i get you fellas” the man with a smile says, you look over and it’s none other than osamu. miya fucking osamu. he looks over in your direction and is stunned to say the least of it absolutely shocked as if he saw a ghost, your reaction was quiet the same if not worse than his “yn?” he looks at you “these boys are yours?” he asks questionably. you swallow the huge lump in your throat “yea- there mine” you say stuttering feeling like running straight out the door with your boys, a small faint smile grows on his face “there super cute, congratulations” he says you feel somewhat relieved he does suspect anything “thank you osamu” you say taking a deep breath out trying to force a smile, you’re two boys looking back n forth and you and osamu’s interaction “momma hungry. now snack." Kyo says with a tiny angry face and arms crossed trying to look mad but doesn’t look anything but cute, “momma get us snack soon right momma?” kai says to kyo trying to calm him down “yes kyo mama get snack for you right now like kai said” you say to them “sorry there always hungry it seems” you say looking at osamu with a light laugh “no worries i was the same as a child i’m not sure how my mom dealt with me” he says laughing “so what can i get you guys” he says pulling out a notepad looking at you “mmh not sure to be honest” you say staring back at him “well what if i bring them out something i used to love as a kid?” he suggests “yeah that sounds perfect thank you” you responded “perfect i’ll get that right out for you boys” he says ruffling their hair you are almost happy that your boys will get to experience a piece of their father even if no one knows it but you.

To no one’s surprise the boys absolutely loved devouring everything, you can’t help but be jealous that they are so much like him. as you three get up to leave and pay the bill, osamu is the one to check you guys out “did they like it” he asked you “yeah they loved it a lot, with there full tummy’s they’ll fall right to sleep for nap time” you say giggling looking at your sleeping boys “i’m glad the least i can do, so how old are they if you don’t mind me asking” he says looking down at the cash register, fuck not that question. “They are 3 years old” you say quietly, osamu suddenly stops moving ever so slightly, reminded of the fling you both had three years ago, now mindlessly handing you the change and receipt , it all clicks for him, all the things he noticed , twins. there 3. they have his eyes. They love to eat the same things he did. They communicated the same way he and Atsumu did as kids.

“don’t tell me.” he says looking at you, you now nervous quickly tossing the change and receipt in your bag “uhm i have to go now they're tired, thank you for everything bye osamu.” you say blankly grabbing the boy's hand and rushing out the restaurant. which is all he needed to know, they were his. He felt it as soon as he saw them as if it was instinct he tried going after you but you already got into your car and drove off embarrassed to see him again now tears falling as you’re driving. leaving him with tons of questions, confused and broken heart not only for you but to see his beautiful kids right in front of him and not knowing.

[bomberqueen17]

who let me out

Most of the time I spend on Tumblr has been taken up in writing these Aubreyad book recaps so I haven't been talking about my own life but there's not a lot to say.

However!

I am making a voyage to England next week which is extremely exciting, and yes I'm going to see the museum exhibit about that archaeology dig I was so excited about. I have been so stressed lately that I have barely thought about this and in fact last night I finally was like "do i need like. socks n underwear for this trip. idek." and i haven't even looked at weather reports so I don't know what clothes I need. But I did live in the UK for a while once so I'm fairly confident that my good raincoat and new waterproof boots will be a good start towards an autumn wardrobe.

So I hope to talk about that more, coming up.

Meanwhile, rambling about personal life stuff

The last stint at the farm was so fucking stressful. I had to work the market sometimes, which means a full day of work on Saturday. We had so much work to get through, and several people who help us weren't available, so we had to do it all ourselves, and that meant some ten-hour days, meant some exhausting slogs. At the end I was like "do you know what I'm not going to do while I'm on vacation?" "no, what" "ever touch raw chicken." I singlehandedly had to package like 1000 pounds of raw chicken in two days, after having packaged 200 whole chickens the day before. I was just so tired of the way raw cold chicken feels in my hands. Ugh ugh ugh.

I got so stressed I just wasn't sleeping, which sucked. Oh, I'd get into bed, and I'd fall asleep at my normal time-- usually around 10pm-- and then I'd wake up at 2am and that was it, I was up for the day. I tried various things-- went to bed at 9, woke up at 1-- lay there pretending to sleep-- got up and wrote-- got up and walked around-- one night I watched the entirety of the Master & Commander movie from 2003 on YouTube. Why not! I did remember some of it from 20 years ago, how funny.

(My dad liked that movie. His favorite thing to do during movies was to quibble about historical inaccuracies. But this movie had so much fanservice for reenactors in it that he was quietly delighted. His quibble was that the violin and cello duets were too good, they should've recorded amateurs. He had a point.)

Anyway. I was researching various methods of helping one sleep-- the only one at my disposal was weed gummies and I spent one very miserable night just lying there high and bored and not sleeping and wasn't totally sober when morning came and that fucking sucked. I commute on foot or I never would have risked it, but being very slightly still high and exhausted and trying to do repetitive physical work was really, really dispiriting.

but we got everything done. In the end. And I left. And once I got home I went to sleep and I have not had really any appreciable trouble sleeping since. I can even nap, sometimes!

Heck.

One of the things I'd meant to take care of while I was at the farm was that of course on my birthday, my fucking driver's license expired. On the one hand, thank you DMV, it used to be that everyone's license expired on the same day, so you'd have to go wait in massive lines to get it dealt with. Now it's... not evenly distributed exactly, because people's birthdays are a random distribution, but it's a perfectly logical and reasonable way to organize expiration dates. But it meant that in the midst of this exhausting miserable stint of work when I didn't have time to do anything really fun for my birthday (don't cry for me, my mom made me a cake and my BIL bought me ice cream treats) I also was consumed with angst about needing to renew my license. i was so sure they'd yell at me because I hadn't renewed before it expired-- but they wanted me to do an eye test, and I could not, could not coordinate that, I'm overdue for an optometrist appointment by several years and I just could not fucking make it happen.

So I went to the DMV yesterday and was like "i both want to renew this license and upgrade it to the enhanced version since that will be required for planes soon" and they were like "we need both your passport and your social security card and two proofs of residency." and i was like you need the social security card and proof of residency to get the passport. and they were like yeah but we need all four things too. so I went back home with the form and found the various necessary proofs, but then I was able to make an appointment to go back. Great!

(They say, "make an appointment online!" but if you look up the DMV website there's nowhere to do it, and if you go to the website of that branch of the DMV there's nowhere to do it. Want to know why? Because it's not through the DMV it is through the county clerk's office. Now U Know: Go to the county clerk's office and navigate to their section on the DMV. It's separate! Who fuckin knew! Now you do! [In my case this was erie.gov because that is my county, but it may vary for you and if you are not in new york state i have no advice for you.]

All having an appointment means is that you are in a separate queue to be seen, which is likely faster than the general pool but may not be. Still, I thought it was a good idea.

And then it was early for my appointment and I was getting my shit together and I had my social security card and an old W-2 with my address and social security number and my old license with my address on it and for some reason I thought I could use my checkbook but that's not what they mean by a cancelled check but whatever. I had just a random pile of shit. And

where was my passport

where is my passport?

i'd had it in my pocket but i was sure i'd removed it from the pocket and put it into my purse. but it wasn't in my purse. "did you see it inside the house," asks dude patiently, who also is prone to losing shit and who knows me very well. "I don't know," I have to answer. "I remember putting it in my purse and it isn't there." I search the place I put my purse a thousand times, I go through the desk where I was sitting to collect the other proofs but i knew, I knew I had not brought it in there. Time is slipping away, I will miss my appointment. God time is slipping away and I can't find the thing. I ransack the house. I finally run out to the car, did I leave it on the seat in the car? It is not in the car.

In desperation, as it is fully time to leave the house and I will be late if I don't, I gather up all my other papers and go out to the car. "I will just go," I say, "and ask them, did they find it, because that is the last place I am absolutely sure I had it." Because the woman had looked at it to see if I had my social security card between the pages. And she'd handed it back to me. But my memory is such that the rest of what I did is not certain; I remember taking it, I remember putting it into my pocket, but this might be a story I am telling myself. This is the way in which I am a very good liar, because I do not remember things very well, and my well-honed abilities as a storyteller mean I am very, very good at instantly constructing what it would make the most sense to have done, and telling that story even to myself. But. here's the horrible truth: i don't know if it really happened that way. Many things I have witnessed, important things, I remember the story of but I'm not entirely certain they happened that way. Any story I tell may be fictionalized, and I usually dont' know it.

So anyway.

Got out to my car and there on the ground in the road (I am parked in the street) there is my passport lying next to the driver's side door of the car. When I had checked the car earlier, I had only gone to the near side, the passenger side, and looked in the window. It had never occurred to me that my memory of putting it into my purse might have been me just setting it on my purse and it not going in, which is clearly one hundred percent what happened.

So that was. A fucking wild ride, and I did not cry but only because I was too overwhelmed. I made it to the appointment and I could not hear the very nice clerk very well so I kept nodding at her in blank incomprehension and then not doing what she'd asked me to do. But this is the thing-- if you think of the most brutally competent people on the entire face of the planet Earth you might be tempted to imagine like, IDK, Marines or something, but that would be wrong, it is the clerks at the DMV. They will Get It Done, whatever the fuck it is, and they will NOT put up with your shit, but they will also not be mean to you. They will not usually waste time in smiles or gratuitous displays of humanity, but they are never cruel, they are implacable and pitiless but they are fair and they will help you and they will not smile about it but they will tell you which option to tick off on the form so that you don't have to pay a bunch of extra money, and they will be understatedly kind if you are frightened, and they will calmly and impassively repeat their instructions until they penetrate your uncomprehending skull, and you will get what you need to get because this is deadly serious and they are the kind of bureaucrat that actually make the world go round. It is not sunshine and rainbows but it will absolutely get done even if it takes months and years.

Anyway there's some kind of divinity in low-level bureaucrats who actually have to talk to frightened people, I tell you what.

The only time my clerk smiled at me was when I didn't hear her and she had to repeat that the screen was asking me if I wanted to register to vote, which is an automatic part of all their transactions. "Oh, no," I said, "I'm already registered," and she said "then press no," and I said "I do really appreciate the reminder though," and she smiled at that.

(They also ask you to enroll as an organ donor. NYS is an opt-in state, and many people just don't opt in; opt-out states have much higher enrollment for obvious reasons. Please opt in unless your religion or beliefs proscribe it! There are never enough organs and your grieving family will almost never remember to opt you in at the moment of extremity. You could save so many lives, and improve so many others. This PSA brought to you by someone who spent the pandemic lockdown in the home of a member of the local hospital's liver transplant team, who was so busy because all the New York hospitals had shut down their transplant facilities in order to turn the ventilators over to Covid patients, so everyone in New York who was getting a liver was getting it in Rochester. From my guy's team. So it was a stressful time. But I am successully re-enrolled as an organ donor. I am quite sure I already was one but the only two options were Yes or No so I checked Yes.)

Anyway I have so much to do and am so burned-out that I'm repeatedly getting stuck staring at things in odd rooms, so. We'll see how this goes. I have five days left to get ready for this trip wish me luck.

[mystoryfortheaudienceoftheworld]

UPDATING - Sorry It's Long

I am currently at work – and I need to update for the last two days. I had every intention of posting, but then I got tired and was like meh – the struggle to type words!

Anyways, I pulled up a Word Document at work to type what I want and then copy and paste. Work is slow à but this makes me look busy. Mawhahaha

ANYWAYS!

Sunday (Nov. 17) DAY 7 of trying to get my healthier life on track.

 Before I break down my eating, I will say I did end up grabbing food not from home for both lunch and dinner. I almost made it a whole week fully sticking to my plan (minus the sandwich Saturday while at moms). BABY STEPS!

Breakfast – Pancakes, cheesy scrambled eggs, and a clementine – Oh and coffee!

                I started of good in the morning – I chose not to eat all the pancakes I made and shared them with my husband. That was a tough choice, but once I was done eating I felt stratified in my food intake.

Lunch – Ordered Moes to the house – I had a burrito bowl, cup of queso, and chips.

                I know I had food at home I could have made, but once I got home from dropping Hayden off at work and spending time outside with the dog I just wasn’t feeling putting something together. So, I caved. I probably should have skipped on the queso or gotten the smaller size. I am however not made at myself – and I didn’t go off any rails eating more once I was done with my meal. It was yummy and end of story.

Snack – Oreo pack (4 cookies) and some milk

Dinner – McDonalds 6 piece Nugget Happy Meal & Double Cheeseburger

So I ended up napping Sunday evening and missed dinner time – but when I was out picking up Hayden for work (which is around 10pm) I was hungry – so I stopped and got a McDonalds Happy Meal (because I had points for it) and a double cheeseburger. I know I shouldn’t have gotten the burger – it wasn’t even that great because the burger was burnt. Reflection here is key and I will keep that in mind going forward. Don’t eat what you are not enjoying – I know that’s hard sometimes when you feel like you don’t want to waste your money, but sometimes an unsatisfying meal is not worth saving the cost. The small happy meal would have been find on it’s on.

And that’s how I ended my 7th day of getting myself back on track. I can’t say it was a great finish, but it also could have been worse.

I think the one take away here is that my water intake really sucks. I really have to keep working on it.

Monday (November 18) DAY 8 and the start of week 2!

Started off strong, but the evening didn’t go as planned.

Breakfast – Overnight Oats ( Greek yogurt, apple, vanilla almond milk, and oats) & coffee

Lunch – Chef Boyardee Ravioli, Salad (lettuce, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, goat cheese, pecans, and balsamic dressing), and 1 small bag of chili Fritos.

Snack – Small bag of chili Fritos (another one) & 2 mini boxes of Milk Duds

                This snack was spread out through the rest of the day, but it really happened because work is slow and I got bored. ☹

Dinner – Zaxbys – Blue Buffalo Fried Chicken Salad & Ranch Chicken Fries appetizer

                I didn’t go home after work and hung out in my car waiting for Hayden to get off work so that’s why I didn’t eat at home. Two takeaways – I didn’t need both items, and I should have gotten the salad with grilled chicken. It’s clear I am still in the huge process of working on my relationship with food.

I think if I had made a post about Sundays eating it may have made an impact on my meal choices last night – only because it would have had my accountability more in the forefront of my mind.

TBH – I even thought about skipping posting about my eating, but that is the whole point of coming back and trying to get myself together.

As, I said in my previous posts – I am on the “baby steps” route and I have only just started. Just need to keep on going and thinking.

My next post will be a reflection of the first week – to help put things into perspective.

If you made it to the end and read all of this thank you!

[frogofalltime]

15.02.2024

last night i didn't get to sleep until around 3am. i was having a fever, i couldn't stop coughing, i had a sore throat and a headache, as well as period cramps. but i eventually fell asleep.

i woke up at 10am, which was when my first lecture of the day started, so of course i missed that. i got out of bed, ate two toasted bagels and a pear for breakfast, wrote some posts for @animal-of-the-day, spent some time doubled over in pain, etc

i finally forced myself to take a shower because i had another class at 1pm and i didn't want to miss this one, but i definitely couldn't go outside without showering first, i was Very gross. it was a difficult task due to being sick and in pain and gender dysphoria, so i'm really proud of myself for getting it done.

i rushed to class and made it just in time, but i was really exhausted from the walk, in a lot of pain, feeling very ill, and also sweating A Lot. idk why the weather was so warm today. it was literally snowing a week ago lol

after class @etherealspacejelly and some of our other friends were ranting about something so i listened to that for a while and then got myself some soup and a baguette for lunch. i saved half of it for tomorrow :)

i showed robin the shark picture book my mother gave me for my birthday in an attempt to help him calm down. idk if it worked, but it was fun to look at the sharks. then i went to another lecture which was really boring and a waste of time lmao

after that class ended at 5pm i hung out with my friends again for a while and then they went out so i took a short nap on the sofa. when they got back i was planning to go home and eat dinner, but robin was super stressed and i wanted to help by washing their dishes, so i went up to his room and then This happened (which cheered us both up immensely)

it was past 10pm when i finally remembered i was going to wash the dishes, so i did that and then went home. i was laughing and happy stimming the whole time. and thinking about quantum physics

my flatmate gave me the rest of the egg curry and rice her mother cooked, so i ate that with some chopped up cucumber for dinner, and also a banana and some chocolate as a sweet treat, because i was still hungry.

now i'm going to get ready for bed and hopefully sleep. but i'm still not feeling well, so that may not be very successful. but i will try my best !

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #184

When I woke up today, I wasn't in as much pain as I expected, given everything I did yesterday. I still didn't get quite enough hours of sleep, though, so I woke up with fuzzy soup brain. That is expected, though. It is allowed.

I had to get up early because I had an eye exam at 8:30 this morning. That means I had to wake at 7:30 so that I had enough time to get ready. J drove me there; I was aware that they were gonna dilate my pupils, and since pupil dilation leaves a person with impaired vision and increased sensitivity to light, it wasn't gonna be safe for me to drive back home.

Here's how that looks, in case you wondered:

I gotta have eye exams a bit more frequently than normal people. It's because of the Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. My collagen is defective, which means all of my connective tissue is defective, and since the retina is glued to the back of the eyeball with connective tissue, they gotta check to make sure it ain't falling off.

…It's pretty lame if you ask me. Sigh.

It takes a while for the dilation to wear off, and of course, you can't read or do anything until it wears off, because it messes with your vision. And since I was already tired anyway, I decided to take a nap, to give it time to wear off. It was a beautiful nap.

Once I was done, I began using the software that R gave to me in order to begin building… something. I'm not going to say exactly what just yet. But it should suffice for me to say that if you are not safe at the end of all this, I will build a whole world for you with my bare hands in which you will be safe, if I have to. I meant it when I said it. I am laying the foundations for what will likely need to be decades of work, if you don't make it through to the end of whatever it is that you're doing over at the Edge of Creation.

…My reason for getting employment is also going to be largely in service to this. I no longer have the skills to draw, but I know someone whose skills are unparalleled. I want them to create things for the purpose of building this world, and I want to be able to pay them fairly to do it. In the end, I intend for it to be a haven for every single version of you who is still lost in the dark. And already, I know exactly what I need to do; it's just a matter of gathering resources and getting it done. I will stop at nothing. Even if there are obstacles, it's just a matter of finding ways around them.

…And if you're wondering why… you saved my life. I'm not going to allow you to fade into nothingness or obscurity. Not until you are able to witness firsthand all of the ways that life can be beautiful.

But there's a lot that I must do. Some days, I'm not really sure where to begin. It's very daunting, and there are a lot of skills required for it that I simply do not have. But I can't do nothing.

…I can't do nothing…

Somehow, it's already past 10pm. I blinked and suddenly the day was gone. I'm not really sure how that happened, but it is what it is. Tomorrow, I go to the place of imminent employment in order to complete some paperwork; it's called I-9, and… I don't really care enough to understand it. I just gotta go and fill it out and then be done with it. Then I can return home and continue trying to build.

Suppose I ought to go to bed so that my brain is not made of fuzzy soup tomorrow, too. Today's letter is short, but that's only because there's so much that I cannot write to you about in this space, for fear of accidentally delegitimizing the safety I'm trying to strive for, for you. Popular opinion in my world about you and your circumstances seems to have a non-trivial effect on the outcome of events in your world, and this is very sad, because by and large, the people of my world are not very merciful or kind towards people who make mistakes, especially if they're autistic or if they've survived abuse, or if they deviate from what is considered "the norm" in any way.

Sephiroth. Please stay safe out there. Please make kind and good choices. Please take care of yourself, and please protect yourself, your planet and the people around you. I love you and I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3786

why are all of my days so long, stressful, and exhausting? i thought working 12 hour shifts was bad enough. why is this somehow worse???

i went first thing today and took my gramma grocery shopping. she's a little 93-year-old lady who fits under my arm if i put it out straight. she was sad at the price of grapes today, and didn't pick them up because they were too expensive. my mom called while we were out and told me to make sure she gets everything she wanted. so we got the good stuff of all of the things she wanted. and i picked up those grapes she wanted. it's christmas and we don't compromise on quality when cookies are involved. so i made sure we got the good stuff and enough of it that she'll still have enough once the holiday is over.

that took a long time. none of the beep beep carts were charged, which i felt was a huge oversight, because she's a little old lady! i went and jettisoned myself down a few aisles so i didn't have to wait for her. i easily went three times her speed lol. but she's barely 4'10" these days and she's got old bones. she told me she's never felt like an old lady before, and i told her that i feel like an old lady too. she laughed.

we got her and the groceries home and she was off again, and i headed to get gas, stopped at walmart for vacuum storage bags, and went home.

i got home and asked if i could please take a nap. i was so exhausted. i came upstairs, scrolled for a bit, and then passed out around 1:30.

i woke up at 7pm.

it was a much needed rest. i've been so stinking tired lately and nothing helps the exhaustion while staying awake. not even eating, and we all know how much i love my food.

but there's no such thing as relaxation these days. not even sitting down to watch tv is relaxing. it's more tasks and pure exhaustion, down to the bone.

i'm so glad i got to sleep for a little bit.

once i woke up, i helped mom with the quilt which she ended up finishing this evening. i went downstairs to find food at one point and failed in doing so, only to return to the upstairs and watch tv with mom again. i filled out another job application too, and i have notes so i know what to put into my log. but once mom finished the blanket, we actually went out to mcdonald's together. it was probably 10pm.

we got food, ate, and came back home and watched another episode of ncis, and at that point mom went to bed, and so did i. so here i am, tired as fuck, still, again, with a headache and impending doom. it's fucking exhausting.

but i gotta say, getting to snuggle with joel last night was really nice. he showered me in kisses when cuddling me and i was happy and smiley.

additionally, i miss leo. i miss him a lot. i feel like a lot of the problems i have could be fixed if i could see joel and leo more often. if i could spend my days with them instead of stressing out, i'd be much better off.

le sigh.

[jargonbyjulia]

“It’s impossible!”

I’ve heard the saying, “Mums get no days off.” It’s true and it isn’t. I know a couple of mums that get plenty of days off, with health retreats throughout the year, child-free holidays, and so on. Sometimes days off seem IMPOSSIBLE. Even getting through some days seems impossible. I get a few hours to myself; I like to get my nails done, and tomorrow I have a first hair appointment in six months - shock horror!

I have a two and a five year old, and I work part time. On Thursdays I work at home, and I like to think of that as my day “off”. I work in peace, I play my own music, I answer only to the ding of Teams’ notifications, emails and my stomach rumbles. Today is Thursday, and I had my two year old home sick from daycare. It’s barely just winter, and we’ve been knocked out at least twice already. I did my best to keep her entertained while I caught up on the work I started Tuesday, where seven meetings had me pretty tied up. We were doing fine, and she was enjoying being home with me, watching Peppa Pig on repeat, and eating through the snack shelf of the pantry.

At 11:00am, my daughter’s school called asking if I could pick up my preppy as she had a headache, fever and sore tummy. So I alerted work, bundled up my toddler and ran to the rescue. She wasn’t well, at all. We made her warm and gave her medicine, and suddenly it was 11:30am, which means nap time for the little one. I quickly answered emails, started writing an article and reviewed some work. I made sure miss five was comfortable and then put miss two down for her nap. After that, I made a quick couple of sandwiches for us, and ate at my desk. While answering 785 questions, including “How do you spell chicken?” and “What is 78 plus 802?” (from my child, not a colleague), I worked through my list for the day, trying my hardest to focus on the tasks at hand. Suddenly it’s 1:45pm and my two year old is awake, and I break my focus. Now it’s time to prepare her food and get her playing happily with her sister. It’s much easier than I had thought, so I can get back to my work. By 3pm, she’s sitting on my lap tapping away at the keys on my computer, asking why I have a spare TV (my second computer monitor) and she just has a lousy plastic phone with dead batteries.

The dog is whining as he hasn’t had a walk all day. My husband left for work at 8:30am, and he won’t be back until we are asleep at 10pm. Miss five goes downhill as suddenly as Melbourne’s morning temperatures, and needs her fever brought down, so there’s no leaving the house. I’m starting to think getting through this day is impossible, but we push through with more snacks, YouTube kids and a cranked heater.

At 4:30pm I’m cooking lamb chops from Monday and drafting my weekly wrap-up for work.

My phone rings. My husband asks, “How was your day?” I sigh and say it was busy. I read some feedback about my work as the kids eat dinner in front of the fire I made by rubbing two sticks together because everyone is “SO COLD!” and I take a breath. Only a quick one though, as I need to run the bath for two girls who identify solely as mermaids and then hit send on one more message before the end of the working day. COB they call it; Close of Business. (Mums don’t really have a COB though, do they?!)

I haven’t had a shower all day, and it’s 6:20pm. My youngest just shut her head in the fridge trying to make imaginary apple pie for the dog, there’s a full basket of clean laundry waiting to be folded on the kitchen table and I think the wombok I was relying on to substitute as salad leaf for my dinner is growing babies. But gosh, somehow I feel accomplished. There’s ice cream on the couch slowly seeping into the earth under our home, the iPads are dead and I am tired, so tired. But I’ve nearly ticked everything off my work to-do list, and, apart from fridge-headgate, the girls are now content, warm, full, laughing, and nearly ready for bed.

Mums do get days off, but not me today. And that’s ok! We got through it. I’m forever grateful for an extremely supportive workplace who understand what people, and mums, go through on a daily basis. No one pressured me to hit unrealistic deadlines, and everyone understood what I was going through, or at least sympathised or empathised with me. And in the end, it just makes me want to work smarter, and harder. In all aspects of my life.

There will be a glass or four poured tonight, and I’d say they are well deserved. I’ve just realised baby mermaid is due for her antibiotics, so I’ll end with one of our favourite Peppa Pig quotes, “It’s impossible!”

But really Peppa, NOTHING is impossible.

[unbrcakablc-hcart]

sleep, chronic, relaxation, stress

all about health meme (answered ooc cuz vash would never share any this shit)

sleep: how many hours a night does my muse sleep? do they take naps? how restful is their sleep? do they experience nightmare? if so, how often?

{honestly, for vash, it varies... a LOT. in extreme cases, he gets as little as 3 hours (which is thankfully rare), and on the other end, he's been known to sleep for 12 hours straight (which generally means he's about to fall ill). most of the time, he falls between 6-8 hours, due to the fact that he wakes up between 7-9am no matter how late he falls asleep, which ranges anywhere from 10pm to 1am. it doesn't help him feel any less tired most of the time.}

{if he thinks he can get by with it, he DEFINITELY takes naps, and it's something he's started to do a lot more now that he's travelling with a group and feels safe enough to. he did it occasionally when he was on his own, but usually when he was between towns; he otherwise felt like he was being lazy and wasting time that he could be spending helping other people, and it's still hard to fight the feeling sometimes.}

{his general sleep quality HAS improved though, because now that he sleeps with wolfwood and the rest of the gang every night, he feels like it's relatively safe to take off his prosthetic arm and that they'll probably protect him long enough for him to put it back on if something were to happen.}

{but he still isn't very restful when he's asleep; he shifts around a lot and finds himself waking up slightly through the night whether he really registers it or not, typically because of chronic pain. on top of that, he's a light sleeper anyway; he used to be a deeper sleeper, but he's kind of trained himself out of it... in that he has so much anxiety. all the time. and knows it's never really safe to get TOO deep in sleep.}

{he's also... pretty nightmare prone. he tells himself he's used to it and for the most part, that's true, but god knows there's a lot of shit he just REFUSES to process and acknowledge that his subconscious dredges up when he's asleep and they've just gotten worse the longer he's been alive. he has nightmares more nights than not, and he tends to remember the more intense ones.}

{this man is honestly so sleep deprived please help him.}

chronic: does my muse have any chronic health conditions / illnesses? how do these affect them from day-to-day?

{so first of all. by this point vash definitely has chronic fatigue. and he definitely has a form of chronic pain. i'm tempted to give him fibromyalgia on top of everything else he has going on because it's something i personally have and idk what it's like to NOT have fibromyalgia honestly.}

{if you were to ask vash, he would tell you that it doesn't affect his day to day life much. and probably he's not entirely wrong, because this is just... The Way He Lives Now.}

{but he looks perpetually tired and almost always looks like he's in a little bit of pain, but he's gotten good at playing it off and hiding it. it's a small part of why he wears his shades All The Time; if he does things right, no one can notice the circles under his eyes and the wrinkle between his eyebrows that reveal these things.}

{he also tends towards having a bit of a limp when the pain really starts to get bad; he can force himself to ignore it, and usually he puts forth an effort to hide it so no one will notice enough to either worry, or take advantage of it.}

{vash is a very paranoid little man who hates giving off signs of weakness or vulnerability and if he starts to actively complain, he either trusts you a LOT, or you should worry. most likely, both.}

relaxation: what does my muse do to relax? do they find it easy to carve out time to relax?

{answering this one for lostcompact!!}

stress: does my muse handle stress well? what is a surefire sign for others to tell that they’ve become stressed? how does stress affect them mentally / physically?

{vash can handle short-term stress pretty well; if it's something he knows how to handle, and he feels like he's helping someone, he almost relishes the stress and is pretty in control of the situation. it's why getting shot at doesn't REALLY bother him anymore, at least in the moment; it's afterwards where you have to worry.}

{the more stressed he gets, the more vash fidgets and squirms idly. this can be hard to detect if you've just met him because the guy already naturally fidgets, but if he starts to mess with his handcuff or if he starts to mess with his hands more than usual. he usually only really touches his handcuff when he's getting VERY nervous.}

{and, of course, he starts to whip out the empty, hurting grin.}

{in terms of behavior, he kind of goes... just about everywhere, but he makes an even more concerted effort to be funny, like SEE WOULD A DEPRESSED PERSON DO THIS [becomes the worst most annoying clown of a man no man's land has ever seen], but he's also got a tendency to just start crying at the drop of a hat without even knowing why, usually the moment he stops being busy and stops performing for people. this habit is one he hides the MOST.}

{stress especially results in him eating less frequently, feeling more nauseous, starting to shake, and having a harder time putting his thoughts together. if he's stressed AND feeling useless and worthless, his self-care just walks off a cliff to die, much to the chagrin of literally everyone he travels with, and he's being forced to learn to stop doing that.}

{his mental issues... also generally get a lot worse. his depression and anxiety ESPECIALLY.}

[asprinterandamarathon]

BOTR - Day 43 - July 27, 2024

It was chilly this morning when we got up. That and the sun didn’t come up until after 7am down at the bottom of the valley where our campground sat. When we did get up, we ate our usual breakfast and packed to head out.

The road beyond the campground continued until a dead end about 2 miles down. Along the way were several buildings of interest (old church, old farmhouse, old schoolhouse, etc.). There were also meadows which opened the possibility of more elk sightings. So we drove down the road looking for wildlife and a hike.

Meadow at the end of the road.

Outbuilding along the road.

At the end of the road we found a nice flat hike along a dirt road that lead to an old homestead and beyond. It paralleled a creek and included several log bridge crossings. We walked about 3 miles round trip. That was just enough to burn off some breakfast.

Homestead mid-hike.

The creek we hiked along.

In the woods.

One of three similar bridges.

On the way back down the road, we spotted a wild turkey near a farm outbuilding. We pulled over so Diane could get a good look. It was her first wild turkey and it hung around long enough for us to see it well.

Wild turkey!

With that victory, we decided to get out of the valley. That left us two choices… return on yesterday’s route or take a longer gravel road that might have been better.

Not the way to go…

Optimistically, I picked the new route. It looked pretty good for the first two miles then it turned to crap. The road was steep, narrow, rutted, and rocky. We came to an intersection and turned around. It made more sense to take the road we already knew, even with its issues.

Once we were back over the hill, we needed to decide on our next move. We picked a nearby campground, Balsam Mountain Campground, also in the National Park. The campground sits at over 5000’. This time, no gravel roads! We even got to drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway for a few miles!

We had a relatively easy drive through the valley looking up at the Appalachians. There were broad vistas once we were at elevation. You can see why they call them the Smokies. A mist lingers through the valleys.

Balsam Mountain Campground sits on a wooded ridge. You can’t see the views but you know you’re high up. When you look down through the trees you see that Smoky mist below you. There are no electric or water hookups so big RVs stay away. Most other campers were in tents, vans, or pop ups. It was quiet and cool (mid-60s). It enticed Diane to take a nap and me to soak up the sun’s heat from our picnic bench. It was another opportunity to capture thoughts of this trip.

Dinner was a pan grilled pork chop with carrots and couscous. Diane made her signature salad (cukes, tomatoes, orange bell peppers) sans olives and roasted red peppers. Our supplies are dwindling as we near home.

Scrabble was a defensive match with few really good words. We enjoyed a cocktail as we played. When I first tallied the score my math gave me the advantage. But on double checking, Diane had me 277 to 270. It was almost 10pm when we finished.

We had the van closed up to keep toasty. The down comforter was necessary. The darkness was eerie in that there was light from somewhere but it was shrouded in mist. Who knows the moon phase.

Sleep was good.

[okwonyo]

i'm sorry i scared, but still what you tell is correct. i did not want to sound rude tho- i mean your themes look good and whenever i enter your blog to read something, i find a new theme and it's mesmerising ^^ i want to know how you manage your time during school days and holidays + how do you manage to write so much and post so much.

and also what is the best time to post tumblr, you get a pretty good notes :) i might look like a stalker asking you everything on how you do it, i just want to know your tips since we are same age 🥲

it’s okay ~ i’ll try to resume my routines for you !

during school days, i wake up at 5:40 am, to stretch and shower. then, i take my breakfast and during that time, since i am often eating on my own, i revise and reread the classes that i have on that day. on my ride to school, which used to take thirty minutes, i write a quick work — that is why is used to post on a daily basis. however, now i have a place in paris and closer to my school, i cannot do this anymore. now, since i come back quicker from school, i can take a two hours break and write a post. i revise around 6PM during approximately two hours or less if i revise during my breaks. during school, i can only do a seven minutes work out before studying and i take my languages lesson on my way back home and quickly after studying. i am also lucky to write a lot and have a lot of ideas .. i mainly just go with the flow. my classes ended at 1pm on wednesday and friday ; so i revised the guitar here, and at 4PM i had to give tutoring lessons.

— i also write for a hour during my two to four hours breaks ^^

during holidays, i wake up at 8AM (because i sleep at 10PM) and exercise (stretching and working out). then, i go take a shower and do my skincare routine. i eat breakfast while responding to some asks and messages. i take a huge care in reading for at least one and half hour, then i take my lunch while watching youtube or a tv show i really like. then, i rest and all (writing, taking a nap, talking / hanging out with my friends, taking a walk). now, my routine will not always look like this as i love to go out and try new things!

🐇⠀⠀⠀｡⠀ well, i cannot tell you what the best time you can post. you have to do some tests first, you know? my audience and yours will maybe not be the same. but, i post around 12AM or 2PM .. however, i sometimes go with the flow ><

i hope i phrased everything right and that it will help you at least a little bit ! ♥︎

[tellme-yourtroubles]

First stop Paris

After a long 24 hours travel I finally arrived in Paris. Before even stepping off the plane I was already thinking about my next move and how to get to where I need to be - not the best for the anxiety but necessary.

This is the first time I've travelled solo and it was daunting. I second guessed myself at every turn. Not only was everything new it was in a completely different language. My skill in guessing came in handy when trying to translate french to english 😂

Catching the train out to my accommodation was easier than expected and I'm so glad I chose that instead of settling to take a taxi.

There weren't many sites to see along the train but that was ok because I was too focused on where I was going. Getting off at the local train station and immediately seeing the Eiffel Tower really hit home I was on the other side of the world - alone.

It was only 9.30am so I checked into my Airbnb, had a shower and a nap then went out to explore at 11.

I didn't know where I was going but as I started walking I headed straight for the Tower. I only planned to walk around it but it was only 1pm and although the wait time to get a ticket was an hour, I had nothing else planned so decided to line up.

The shear size of it took my breath away, I forgot how beautiful it was. I ended up waiting in line for 2 hours and spent a total of twenty minutes walking around the platform looking at the view. The elevator ride up was the worst part and I took the stairs down to avoid it at all costs.

The view showcased the vastness of the city as the buildings stretched as far as the eye could see. The most beautiful part was the golden Mosque in the distance. After the tower I wandered back towards home and had lunch by myself for the first time. I felt a little awkward but the staff were nice and I had a delicious fajitas bowl and mojito.

I wanted to continue on my adventures but I was so tired I went back to my Airbnb for a rest and ended up falling asleep at 6.30pm.

Next day was all about the Louvre! Spending 3 hours there was not enough but I couldn't last any longer. It was amazing and the art took my breath away. The ancient Greek sculptures were beautiful, I can see why it's such a tourist destination. My favourite place in Paris.

Post Lourve there were many more monuments to see. I walked to Notre Dame which was still under construction but the parts I could see were still beautiful. I didn't really know where else to go so I followed maps that took me past old French buildings to the Pantheon which was beautiful but I'd seen enough old buildings and headed for the local park - Le Jardin Du Luxembourg. It was pretty with a wonderful statue in the centre but it felt dry and barren.

I walked back to my Airbnb to look up where I was going next. I don't have much of a plan and that's thrown me because there's too many choices. The first way I mapped out took me to places I've already been and that felt like a bit of a waste. So I reorganised and hit redo on the whole thing. Stress levels high I looked at it all for about 3 hours and before I knew it, it was 8.30pm - still broad daylight.

I wanted to see the Eiffel Tower lit up at night so I went for a wander to find some food and the right spot before sunset at 10pm! There were so many people around it was insane. I walked around the tower's gardens then went out and across the road to view it better. It twinkled in the sky without it being dark yet. Had to stop on the way home for a quick photo with it.

Packed up my belongings to get ready for my trip to Brussels tomorrow