#this is the best subtle queer experience story

[celestial-castiel]

i love Supernatural so so very much, I don't know how to express it. this show that many people think is genuinely bad but kinda fun is seriously actually really great??? of course the writing isn't perfect all the time, that's literally impossible. yes Destiel had a heartbreaking ending, but their whole story is still fantastic and sweet and lovely, and they obviously really love each other. their relationship throughout the show is definitely my favorite thing in the whole show, other than Dean and Castiel themselves. also i love how spn is randomly silly and constantly making references to other shows and movies and books, then later is completely devastating and intense with the hardest lines ever, like it's straight up poetic at times (specifically Cas, who gets a decent number of poetic lines/scenes actually).

this is my favorite show. it's the cutest sad dark show ever.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Finished Last Twilight, and I'm not adding to the ableism discourse, because most things have already been said and with a lot of beautiful nuance that I agree with. But I do want to talk about how that ending arrived because of Aof Noppharnach's consistent symbolic commentary on the experience of living with HIV in much of his work, with an approach that's unique among all queer content. Imma skip Gay OK Bangkok since its not even a metaphor there, but I'll explain my rationale for the others, and we can just appreciate the foundation Gay OK Bangkok lays for us to think about the rest of his stuff.

The motif of life-saving medical intervention comes up in all but one of the works he takes screenwriting credit on. He's Coming To Me: P'Med dies originally because of a lack of medical intervention. 1000 Stars: Tian gets a heart transplant. Moonlight Chicken: this one's more subtle, but the whole series is explicitly established in the context of reopening following the COVID pandemic, and Wen will later say to Jim, "we are survivors." It was this line upon rewatch that made me start considering how thorough this theme is. Survivors of what? The meaning is three-fold: hard lessons in love, COVID, and, for gay men of their age, the HIV epidemic. The hope of medical intervention for Day's condition takes on a secondary meaning, with this trend in mind, even if the mixed disability politics between visual impairment and being HIV positive really fails.

His comparisons are more intricate though. Pills and daily regimens are a consistent motif. Day has his daily eye-drops, Tian his pills (which are presumably immune-suppressants to help accept the transplant but I'm not going to Viki right now and watching every ep to find out so someone feel free to correct me). 'But people take medicine for lots of things,' you say. 'Just because its gay doesn't mean its an HIV metaphor!' You have a fair point! But here's where Aof gets real fun and sneaky. P'Med dies from lack of pills the same year Torfun, whose heart will save Tian's life, is born, 1997. I'm mentioned once before 1997 as important for the class-conscious Aof because of the Asian financial crisis that Thailand set off that year. However, 1997 is also important because its the year HAART, or Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy was first used in Thailand (it had hit the market only one year earlier). HAART, a multi-drug regimen, boosted someone's life-expectancy with HIV up by 15 years, and its side-effects were significantly milder than previous approaches. The medical conditions of P'Med and Torfun's heart point us directly to HAART, and what it could offer.

Now we're moving out of the medical and into the experiential connections because, while Dark Blue Kiss is the only work Aof chose to take credit for screen-writing without incorporating medical references, it is by far the most dense with references to the issue of concealment. Its in the narrative as people closet identities and hide relationships, yes, but its in SO much of the visuals, too, most obviously the Pete & Kao mug hidden inside its coozie. It's easy to see the surface story about gay visibility and the closet, but there's a more specific subtext here about the associated condition that intensified the stigma of being gay and how that impacts your sense of self. Bad Buddy explores this issue less, but even in the BL Bubble, its haunted by the stigma of homophobia--it just shuffles it over onto rivalry so the audience can experience it without reproducing it.

However, the grief and shame of surviving when others haven't haunts Aof's other works much more intensely. Jim and Tian both are hung up on guilt for someone's death that they did not actually cause, continuing to pursue the goals for those that passed rather than their own. Then, there's Thun and P'Med, which is the best allegory for living and dating with HIV, bar none. It goes into the feelings of stigma and the limits of physical intimacy with partners that living with HIV caused, especially prior to Truvada's introduction in 2004. Even then, the show depicts how a HIV negative partner maintains the choice to participate in their own regimens, as Thun's desires for physical intimacy with P'Med manage their relationship and never the other way around.

This sense of required separation and gay identities that are less sex-focused also play into oft-maligned motifs in Aof's work. He's talked explicitly about people's criticisms of the limited physical intimacy in his earlier works that led to the more prominent stuff in Bad Buddy, but I hope given the above context, we can appreciate why physical intimacy is less of a priority than other kinds (and I'd add that 1000 Stars, which got the most sh*t about it, is actually one of the most erotically-charged BLs out there because of it's restraint). Then, you have the finales where characters separate for periods of time, and while I don't see this as explicitly tied to HIV experiences (Aof is literally following the book of romcom beats there, even if everyone whines about it), I can't help but appreciate a tangential connection to loving beyond time and distance that was required for those who lived with or lost loved ones to HIV.

I would've loved to see a version of Last Twilight that didn't absolutely bungle its metaphor, because it had every element to be something great (except, I'm sorry to the fans, lead actors with the necessary queer romantic chemistry). Watching the last episode, when the show seemed to finally rediscover plot and pacing, all the other pieces that had been drowned out by the disability conversation peeked their heads out, and I saw what the show wanted to be. The topics related to living with HIV of stigma, survivor's guilt, and assistive technologies: they were all right there, not just for Day but for everyone, if only they had been given the proper time to marinate to develop more complexity. It's the rare instance of a show where I'll choose to spend time imagining what could have been rather than obsessing over what was or just moving on. Even a misstep from Aof, like this, is overflowing with so many more layers than most series. The failures of Last Twilight, in relationship to his other works, even let you see how much food for thought he's providing.

[smalltownrobin]

I think the best way for rovickie to be set up for s5, considering the YEAR AND A HALF TIME SKIP, would be if Vickie has been away at college.

(this is so long I'm sorry)

Obviously, where they were left at the end of s4 was very vague but also very telling, my assumption is that Vickie still needs to figure out and come to terms with her sexuality, then the two need to tell each other their feelings, but both seem to be AWARE there is something between them. Going straight from that to a year and a half later would make their story jankier than it already is, a lot of people (including myself) have thought there's a chance they're already together and we're just totally skipping over all the good ship stuff, or they would have been doing this subtle friends but gay and eyeing each other thing for over a year. Neither is a good option storytelling wise.

However, with the way things are between them by the end of s4, I think a great way to sort of keep it in that place, progress it slightly, AND give a natural explanation as for what's been happening between them during the time skip, is for them to basically not have seen each other the whole time, hence Vickie going off to college.

I can see it like their friendship got somewhat closer after their conversation at the relief centre, and they continued on that trajectory until graduation (since the education system seems to stay up and running despite gaping gates to an alternate dimension splitting the town in half), where Vickie did the typical thing and went to college, while Robin, most probably not able to afford it and wanting to stay and help with the upside down stuff, stayed in Hawkins.

While Vickie is at college, it's entirely possible that she had the time and space to figure out her sexuality (not so much "experimenting" in the derogatory sense, just being in a more open environment and meeting new people not from a small red state town), whether she entirely accepts herself or simply becomes more open to the possibility of being queer, I think either works. Of course, she would also have her lingering feelings for Robin to deal with, which would most likely be the main factor in her even considering the possibility of liking girls.

Another crucial detail is that Vickie appears to be a candy striper volunteer at Hawkins memorial hospital, along with Nancy (not technically confirmed, but we've seen Vickie at the hospital both weeks they were filming there, and someone who looked an awful lot like her stunt double in the uniform, plus my own Vickie intuition that's totally what she'd do). Since it's a year and a half break, unless Hawkins is under a strict quarantine (there seems to be something enforced but quarantine I'm ignoring for the sake of this idea), Vickie would of course be able to come home for holidays, where she'd most likely choose to spend her time away from college volunteering (this being the girl that ignored her bf to spend spring break at the relief centre, remember) (I'm doing too many brackets aren't I, my apologies). She could have some kind of workplace friendship with Nancy because of this, which doesn't add much to anything, I just like the idea of them being friends cos they'd get along spectacularly, but anyway, this would work for s5 which seems to be set around thanksgiving 1987, so of course Vickie would be home for the holiday, doing her volunteering, and that's how she ends up involved this season.

I think something that could be cute here is if Vickie comes back to Hawkins every so often (christmas, thanksgiving, spring break, summer, etc.), and every single time she wants to call Robin, or go to her house, and hang out with her, but every single time she never quite has the guts to. If she's been away thinking about the way she feels about this girl, realising that she may actually be queer, then as much as she likes talking to someone who gets her and is like her, that could just about hold her back from willing herself to see her again.

Now, ROBIN'S SIDE OF THINGS. Obviously, girlie would be staying in Hawkins doing... whatever, idk, her and Steve don't seem to be employed anymore, maybe they've just been chilling looking for Vecna, but from Robin's perspective, when Vickie left for college, she left for good. Hawkins is a fucked up and dangerous place, she wouldn't have thought there'd be any reason for her to come back, and even if she did, she wouldn't want to meet up with Robin. So, Robin's probably spent a year and a half trying to not think about her or what they could have been, because Vickie's safer away from this place, and doesn't need her.

AND SO... when Robin goes to the hospital early in the season (for a reason I still don't know), it could be where her and Vickie run into each other, see each other for the first time in a year and a half, and all of that is behind that moment. It keeps them somewhat in the place they were left at the end of s4, but it has even more weight to it, and it accounts for the time that's passed.

From here I could get into how I think they talk at the hospital and arrange to meet up (hence why Robin's done her hair all cute with that bow), and then they don't for whatever reason and bla bla bla, but then I'd just be spewing s5 theories and it's 2am I don't have the energy for that. This was just what I wanted to share, and it took me way too many paragraphs to do so, but there you go.

TL;DR: s5 would be cool if Vickie figured out her sexuality at college and popped back into town occasionally to volunteer at the hospital and Robin thought she left for good and is glad she's safe while sad thinking what they could have been, they don't see each other during the year and a half time skip until they run into each other at the hospital (during thanksgiving break) and from there that's how Vickie gets involved with the upside down.

[bengiyo]

We Are Better Together: Why I Enjoyed the Our Skyy 2 Crossover

I enjoyed this four-part special with every part of my being, but I’m a gay man in his thirties that often feels like I understand exactly where Aof is coming from in his work. As I’ve said many times on this block and in @the-conversation-pod, I desperately want more stories about gays sticking together alongside all of the stories about discovering love. For so many reasons, I love that Aof chose to use Pat and Pran as a catalyst to help Tian and Phupha, and in turn compare their relationship with another couple experiencing some of the same challenges lets them see themselves properly. I have a lot to say, so let’s just get into it.

Funding A Tale of Thousand Stars

There is no way Aof was going to be able to produce a Tale of Thousand Stars special without merging the Bad Buddy budget. If you start from the fundamental problem that it’s expensive to film on a mountain, we need to find a problem that works well. At the end of ATOTS, Tian and Phupha agree to stay in Pha Pun Dao together, but there’s no way that can work forever. Tian has medical needs and a family in Bangkok. We also never resolved the lingering doubts and uncertainty that plagued Phupha in the story, since we focused on Tian’s journey.

With Pat and Pran, they were set on their commitment to each other after episode 11. They are just hiding themselves in college, and won’t experience any changes without some form of outside stimulus. Likewise, Tian and Phupha live in a bubble. I love the idea of shoving these four men together and seeing what comes out of it.

Playing with Archetypes and Expectations

I particularly like Aof shoving these four characters together because it allows Aof to further poke at our expectation and assumptions about BL characters. Aof is aware of the cultural understanding around seme and uke archetypes, and the decision to style Pran to physically resemble Tian is not subtle. However, as we move through the special, we realize that Pran has more in common with Phupha than he does Tian. What a gift that is from, Aof.

Aof invites the viewers through Pran to consider where they sit as viewers in these stories. We are often asked to ride along with our primary viewpoint character and see the world through their lens. Sure, we can challenge their lens, and ask the audience to grow along with the character, but I truly love the way this story hands the lens over to Phupha as we move through this special. As a gay man in his thirties, I am particularly fond of Phupha and the decision to focus on him.

It is hard growing up the way some of us did. We don’t have BL experiences like the ones we fawn over in these shows. Life was hard. We suffered. Some of us are stuck performing a version of masculinity that we haven’t ever been able to unlearn. I continue to present normie because it’s what I was trained to do. I make use of it as the face of my local queer circle. I talk to the government when we need someone who won’t get ignored right away, just like Phupha dedicates himself to the people of his village.

We might expect Pat and Phupha to mirror each other because of their physicality, but that breaks almost instantly. They’re unlike each other. The first allusion to this comes in the reminder that Tian is an engineer, and so is Pat. Additionally, Phupha rejects Tian’s diary immediately because he only gives it a surface reading. It’s only once he gets to know Pran and Pat a bit, and really listens to what Tian is saying that he starts to wake up.

I personally loved seeing these characters get lost in the woods and spin around each other for an entire episode. The best thing you can do when you’re lose in the woods is stay where you are and wait for rescue to find you. Tian can’t do that, and honestly neither can Pat. The common thread between them is how antsy and foolish they can be. Tian went all the way up a mountain with a weak heart the way only a fool could. Pat rushed after Pran to the wilderness with barely a plan because all that matters is getting to Pran.

Like many of the baby gays we sometimes help with volunteering, I wish they would just sit still and let us find them. They’re in such a hurry to grow up and do all the big gay milestones that they’ve envisioned for themselves, but it just doesn’t work like that. Sometimes you have to just finish school and become financially independent. Sometimes you need to let your partner get the help they need and the right diagnosis to manage their neurotic behaviors. Sometimes you need to just having someone beg you to just sniff your boyfriend and get over yourself. Sometimes you need someone who actually understands the weight of internalized homophobia you carry validate that it’s hard. Sometimes you just need to accept that you are now a “we” and admit openly that you can’t live without each other.

You Blame the Rebel That You Sold Out

I’ve been thinking a lot about the instinct I’ve noticed to pick apart the creative team when people find they aren’t enjoying a show for some reason. I wrote about this first during The Eclipse, and I’m feeling it again here. As I said there, I’ll say here: It’s okay to say you didn’t like something and didn’t find this to be your taste.

I’m a lifelong Star Trek fan who can’t watch Lower Decks because I find American animation to rely on a loud quality that I find overstimulating. I also don’t appreciate Seth McFarlane’s brand of humor. I didn’t get into Star Trek: Prodigy because it’s aimed at kids in a way that I found a bit boring to engage with. I think Star Trek Picard is overall pretty bad and a waste of nostalgia. I still love Star Trek, and find things worth engaging with every time I sit down and watch new things.

I recently attended a Matchbox Twenty concert and have been thinking about the song “Rebels” from their new album Where the Light Goes. There’s a portion of the lyrics that I think best covers how I feel about this instinct to turn on the creators when they do something you don’t like with characters they created.

And it's all exciting You were so alive Like a wheel in motion You were terrified you'll lose it Hell, everybody loses It was never how you wanted Now it's never good enough We're all rebels when we're young I think it's time you let it go now When you get angry with yourself You blame the rebel that you sold out You blame the rebel that you sold out That you sold out Let go and be yourself right now Let go and be yourself right now Let go and be yourself right now Let go and be yourself right now

It’s all fun and games when experiences are new to us. We’re excited to be in this new untested space for the first time, but we are all changed by it. We bring different lenses and experiences to the table. We take different things from the stories, and our tastes change because of these experiences. Then the creator comes back with a new season or new outing with these characters and they have different things they want to focus on this time. It’s not what we wanted, and so we turn on them. The only way out of that is to let go and see who you are now.

Aof is a gay man who is working at a major company to tell meaningful queer stories. Aof clearly knows that life is the future, not the past. He’s committed to bridging us to a better world for queer people so that we can see each other more.

We Are Better Together

I love that Pat and Pran met Tian and Phupha. I love that these characters made each other better in the brief week they spent together. I like that they became friends and expanded their queer circle. Your relationship is not the only component you need for stability in your life. You can get stuck in a rut. You need other people to talk to you. You need outlets for your frustration. You need friends to remind you that you’re being obnoxious, and maybe you should just have sex and see if the issue is still there.

Tian and Phupha were not at their best alone. Pat and Pran were not at their best alone. I love the idea of a lonely Pran looking for queer connection on the web and discovering Tian’s diary. I love the romantic notions he projected onto Tian and seeing them shattered by the intense physical reality of life in Pha Phun Dao, and his interactions with Phupha.

About ten years ago, we had a member of our circle who tried to view our group through the lens of Noah’s Arc, and he struggled with fact that we didn’t fit exactly. What a joy it is to realize that your own queerness is distinct in this world, and that you and your friends are special. Bad Buddy and A Tale of Thousand Stars are BETTER for me now that they’ve touched each other.

I love that Phupha finally let Tian love him the way Tian wants to. I love that he let go of his concern about Tian’s wealth. I like that he let Tian’s parents see him properly and extend to love to him that he’s given their son. I like that he finally let’s them thank him for helping their son find stability and purpose, because Phupha maybe doesn’t appreciate how much of a fuck up Tian was being before the transplant. I love that Phupha found it in himself to propose to Tian. I love that Phupha let Tian take charge in the bedroom. I love that Phupha gave Pat and Pran the gift of sharing their love on a stage to adoring fans, and giving Wai a chance at redemption. Pran got to see people finally cheering for their love online.

I can’t claim to understand everyone’s frustrations with this special, and I won’t pretend to. However, I wanted to say quite plainly that as a gay viewer who has appreciated Aof’s work for years, I was particularly touched by this crossover. I don’t care about the balance other seem concerned about between Pat and Pran. I don’t care about how much they did or didn’t talk. All I know is that since episode 5 of Bad Buddy, Pat has shown that he’s all in on Pran and has never waivered. I like that so much of this special was about Pran finally accepting the way Pat loves him, just like Phupha learned to accept the way Tian loves him.

It really is as simple as the final sequence for Pat and Pran for me. It’s Pat asking if they can finally kiss and Pat and Pran again and finally getting that, Pa interruptions and everything.

So, I hope everyone finds peace with reactions to this special. I am completely satisfied, and excited to see what Aof wants to say next in Last Twilight, despite my reservations about Jimmy.

[jazryl]

Thame Po EP 10 Review

This episode of ThamePo is something that I already expected, but still, it turned out to be something that is too heavy to process for me. Dating in the idol industry is a common conflict that a story like ThamePo would delve into, and there some choices in the narrative of this episode that I really liked, and some which are--I guess--something that I thought could have been handled better.

The first half of this episode gave me the impression that I may have taken part writing it, as it turned out to be exactly how I imagined it to be. From the moment Thame and Po are on the bed in the morning, then the news breaking about Pepper and Gam dating (and the motivation as to why Thame and Po's photos were not leaked), up until the point that Po is reassigned to work with Ice, everything unfolded just as I expected. From the direction the story was going, I though that this was the best route that they can go around this. After all, it made sense since back in episode 6, Pemika had an idea about Pepper being in a relationship with Gam.

With that being said, I knew that we would go through this plot point, though I thought that this came in too late into the story. I believe that it could be a little more impactful if a previous episode briefly showed Thame and Po getting caught, or maybe a scene where the media company has already curated a repository of the pictures of the group. I thought that it just needed something more to build up on this storyline.

This plot point coming in too late gave me the impression that 1) nobody clocked that Po has been helping MARS all this time, like nobody had an idea to keep watch on him, and 2) the company is too inefficient to even know what is up with MARS. I just thought that it did not make sense to me that they are letting Po slip away (in like, plain sight too!) and get away with this way too easily. Overall, I thought that they could have either inserted this plot line earlier in the story, or they could have shown us pieces of this part of the story that would build up to this very moment.

One aspect that I enjoyed in this episode is the way they sold us the fantasy that MARS is a popular group. I think that throughout the series, the story built the group to be popular enough for billboards with their faces to be plastered basically everywhere. However, I found that the show has been struggling to sell us this part when they are in public roaming around without being noticed, Thame and Po doing little to no attempts to keep their distance, and so on and so forth. In general, I had a hard time "estimating" the fame of MARS as a group throughout the series, and I thought that this episode was the one closest to the world that they built around the group. Like, they finally remembered that MARS is famous.

A highlight of this episode was the back and forth between the conversation of the group and the conversation between Baifern and Po with how fans handle their idols dating. I thought that everything that transpired in that scene came from a realistic place as we can see this controversy unfold right before us. As fans of idol groups, we tend to view our idols as commodities and our possessions meant to cater to us. We tend to be caught up with the parasocial aspect of looking up to them, which eventually becomes excessive and unhealthy.

While I love the message that they imparted with us, which we should definitely take outside of our understanding of the show, I somehow thought that the conversation felt a little (I cannot think of a better word for it) "produced". Especally with the conversation with the group shown to us, it felt to me like a drag race episode where a queen out of nowhere while fixing their makeup for the runway opens a conversation about one'es queer experience. I don't know how to exactly describe it, but I felt like they could have been more subtle about talking around it. However, I understand that they delivered this scene and this message in a way that is obvious and into your face. I still appreciate its directness, and the way that it tells the audience rather than show it to us. After all, some of us are not very bright to pick these up and apply them (just kidding, or not?).

This episode made me nervous out of anticipation. I can feel the tension up until the press conference scene, which ended up to be tragic for Pepper and Gam. I understood Gam in this situation, and looking into this decision as how it impacts the story, I appreciate that they resolved it in this note, which brings a lot of anticipation for what is about to happen when Thame and Po gets in such a situation. We saw Po witnessing everything and I think this is a great challenge to his character. By hearing what Gam has to say, I think it brings another perspective for Po's character as he is about to make the most crucial decisions. He finally found someone who would love and see him for the way that he is out of Thame, but at what cost? What is he willing to sacrifice for his and Thame's dreams and happiness?

Despite the arising anxiety that Po feels about the destiny of their love story, I am happy that we get to see him with Thame reassuring him that everything will be fine. The kiss in the storage room, their hug, and Thame's "I love you" to top everything off, are great complements to ease Po's constantly worrying heart. Though I don't know how Thame managed to hold Po's hand in the sandwich shop without the fear of being caught... again (haha).

With that, I think this is a solid episode with a great message that I appreciate, though I think some technicalities in the storytelling and pacing could be delivered differently for better impact and build-up. I am excited as usual for the next episode. However, I am also nervous as I do not really have an idea how they would handle things at this point, especially that the preview for the next episode did not really show us anything so substantial.

[kingdomoftyto]

Hi, happy spooky month, I have a ✨manga rec✨!! And in the spirit of the season, it's a horror story! >:3c

I want to spoil as little as possible because I went into this manga essentially COMPLETELY blind and, honestly, imho, I imagine it's the ideal way to experience the story. I literally first heard about it from a random youtube comment on a video about an entirely different manga--one which, mind you, had VERY different themes, which colored my preconceptions and added to the surprises for me later on!

ANYWAY, what I mean by all that is I'm going to start with the simplest possible summary of the premise, and if that's intriguing enough for you to give it a shot, then I recommend diving right in!! But, if you still need more of an in-depth, slightly spoilery rec? Then I'll gush a bit more under a cut to see if I can hook your attention.

With all that out of the way,

The Summer Hikaru Died is a horror/supernatural story about a high school boy named Yoshiki whose best friend (Hikaru) went missing in the mountains outside of town. What comes back is... something else. It looks, acts, and talks like Hikaru, but it's not him, and Yoshiki is the only one who seems to notice.

The only other thing I knew going in was that the commenter made a brief mention of the "Hikaru"-thing protecting Yoshiki, which seemed odd but intriguing alongside the rest of the premise.

So if that's enough for you (plus the fact that I'm telling you I haven't stopped thinking about this story since I read it two weeks ago), then please check it out! There are only 5 volumes so far!! Suffer through the wait for the rest with meeeeee ಥωಥ

More spoilery extended rec below the cut:

📣THESE MOTHERFUCKERS GAY*!!!📣

📣GOOD📣FOR📣THEM!!!📣

I know what you're thinking, and YES, it appears to be BL between the TIMID HIGH SCHOOL BOY and the ELDRITCH HORROR WEARING THE SKIN OF HIS BEST FRIEND.

And it's SO GOOD.

No SERIOUSLY, for real though, I had NO inkling going into this that it was even in the realm of possibility that it would involve romance

Let alone a nuanced, slow burn, VERY QUEER romance layered with ruminations on grief and identity and one's relationship to society

(ON THIS NOTE, I must advise up front that I DO NOT KNOW if this story will end in tragedy... It's still ongoing, after all! BUT, I think either way it will be an amazing story and... maybe I'm just delusional, and though this may be considered spoilery in itself, the most recent chapters have me optimistic that we might indeed be on track for some sort of happy ending... eventually.)

Anyway, I cannot express enough how incredible it was to uncover this aspect of the story organically without knowing about it beforehand. Born and raised in a rural village, Yoshiki is deep in the closet, and that's reflected in how subtle the hints are at the beginning. Over time, it starts to become clearer and clearer, but always with a layer of plausible deniability, at least if you're not expecting it to take such a queer turn. ("Hikaru" literally makes a ton of "no homo" style jokes early on, which... god don't get me started--)

As you might guess, Yoshiki had feelings for the real Hikaru before his disappearance, and ooh boy does that affect how much the grief and guilt and fear play into things. It's delightfully fucked up.

So yeah. I 100% expected the plot of this manga to revolve around the intrigue of the monster finding out Yoshiki knew its secret, the fear of not knowing when the monster would strike next, etc, but NO! That particular "reveal" happens within the first 10 pages, and then the entity just kind of... lives the life of a high school kid! He's kind of a little shit, but for the most part, he's a nice boy! Yoshiki is the only one who knows who "Hikaru" really is, but much of the tension comes from him having to come to terms with that, rather than the fear itself.

...and also the OTHER horrors and mysteries. There's tension there too, considering it's where the actual plot lies, lmAO. Just because "Hikaru" isn't a totally evil monster doesn't mean there aren't a lot of grotesque and scary things in here. Most of this manga I would classify more in the "supernatural" genre than "horror", but in those moments it DOES delve into horror, it goes pretty damn hard. I remember more than one moment where I felt sharp regret about reading it in the dark at 2 a.m. 💀

Still, if you dare, it's worth the read. I can't recommend it enough.

P.S. I wouldn't say it's a "funny" manga but it does nonetheless have an amazing sense of humor. There are a handful of actual jokes and gags that did have me rolling, but more importantly there's an unspoken, implicit acknowledgement of how absurd this all is, in that way only good self-aware horror can achieve. Take the main character Yoshiki for example. The image I used of him up above? The unsettling camera angle, the haunted look in his eyes? That's just how he always looks. The panel after that one shows that all he's looking at on his phone is a text from his sister reminding him to pick up wasabi flakes.

P.P.S. There's apparently an anime adaptation coming out sometime? I'll probably watch it, but I expect something will be lost in translation. We'll see, I suppose.

*- To be precise: Yoshiki is gay. The creature that takes Hikaru's place has a more nuanced (and alien) perspective on sexuality, and... I'll leave it at that.

[reinedeslys-central]

tbh I keep seeing the takes of ppl (and ballister) about ambrosius thinking he would kill the queen but not play freestyle jazz - and it totally makes sense and all with all the context -

BUT. I just wanna point out.

the look of indecision and shock/surprise on his face every time he sees bal after the incident, and even during the incident? the split second where he considers the other knights about to turn on him for knowing his partner best and steps up to lead the search saying 'before anyone gets hurt'? like say all you will (and I agree), but that scene to me reads exactly like someone trying to get to their lover first and protect them and prove their innocence before others can convict them sans trial (looking at you wangxian) OR, also, the realisation that you have to play it safe because the community has found out your lover is queer and the pitchforks are high, but you've always been the golden child / carrying a legacy, and you make the instinctive decision to stay safe for a multitude of reasons (after all, you can't shelter them by losing your rep too, can you? or so you think. same thing in the 'prom' teen-movie btw which is a whole thing to unpack on another day but this same theme is there!).

the first time he looks like he's against bal is after the director proclaims him leader of the search - and compared to his expressions all before then, it feels so much like a mask (mask-esque. not fake, just.. if you get what I mean? I don't really have the words this is just a brain vomit anyway, insert long discussion abt masks and conflicting emotions here ig) and it cracks immediately when he sees him breaking out of jail with nimona in the hallway. and honestly I'm down to give him a little slack after that because, comedically, he totally walked in RIGHT after ballister talked about murdering everyone, and then our boi didn't even manage to blurt out that he was innocent they just got caught up angstily staring at each other. which. :)

even in all the scenes that come after - yeah, definitely can see the totally-thought-he-was-the-killer-ambrosius-why-are-you-like-this angle. and i agree. bad moves all around, dude. but! my man lowering his crossbow in the market? I don't know about you but that doesn't look like a someone who's only holding back because he loves the target. that's a guy that looks unsure about the process the whole way through the scene. (bit of a stretch I know) and the thing that ties it together is the conversation with the director in the car. when he talks about feeling unsure of his legacy? the moment with the crowd and autograph? feeling like a traitor to his personal beliefs and the institution he was raised for? the hope, trying to discreetly make it to the car? it's all there, man. he's isolated from the only person that thinks differently, still outwardly pretending he's 100% with the institute's actions and lashing out with the things that still make sense and overlap with both mindsets.

yeah, ambrosius definitely messed up (ex. 1: arm-chopping as a love language of brainwashing omg pure gold) but? every step makes sense. i'd cut anyone a bit of slack for the doubt and wanting to reconcile their life when everything's turned on its head, especially after hearing bf in question saying he wants to murder everyone ^v^

and also i just. this movie is SO COOL for somehow touching on so many themes so core to so many peoples' experiences. TT y'all please go watch it it's free on yt until feb 26 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4CFWTYFRlw

definitely going to read the comic as soon as I can - I know it's supposed to be way darker, more subtle, with an ambiguous ending but that's it, so excited to see the original spin on this story :))

[voltrixz]

Why YOU should go vote for Electro (TSSM) in @cartoon-character-competition​

First off this is like the first time I have managed to get Electro into a competition which is a CRIME in itself already 

You may be familiar with Electro from the usual Spiderman comics or movies but trust me tssm Electro is the best Electro ever.

Like LOOK AT THIS GUY HE FUCKIN ROCKS, HIS DESIGN IS SICK AS HELL!!!!!

and well this guy has been through a lot. He used to be an engineer at Dr Connors lab where they were studying and experimenting on radioactive eels. (probably not a good idea but ok) And well well after a work accident, Electro (previously known as Max) goes from 

to 

and well while his new look is sick as hell, lets just say it makes just trying to function properly really REALLY difficult and after being frustrated about no one being able to help and facing the possibiltity his life may never go back to normal, he runs off fuming. 

And what does one angry man just turned into living walking form of electricity do? Buy coffee of course 

(this is how he looks fully suited up and with a disguise outfit on top btw )(which is why he looks a bit different here) 

Anyways he realizes he cant even drink “a measly cup of coffee” anymore and freaks out, alerting peter parker who chases after him after electro freaks out storms off. 

 So what happens next?

- Peter attacks him thinking he’s a threat (he’s not hes just freaking out and pissed off)

- Realizing his mistake Peter tries to help but Electro now refuses and is ultimately defeated 

- He’s sent to a mental institution to recover and it seems he had but nope as soon as he’s out he’s out for revenge

- He teams up with the sinister six, gaining both a mentor/father figure in Doc Ock (leader of the sinister six)

- Is defeated again and no longer pretends to try to recover at the mental institution when he’s sent back and looses faith in his new mentor 

- Is recruited back into a new Sinister six and recovers that faith again in his  mentor 

- Once again defeated and is abandoned by said mentor figure and almost loses his life if it wasnt for Peter saving him.

- From then on he’s sent to an insane asylum and well I sure wish we knew what happened next

BECAUSE WE DONT BECAUSE TSSM WAS CANCELLED AT SEASON 2 WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET AT LEAST LIKE 5 

so yeah not only is Electro’s story tragic, it doesnt even get a PROPER ENDING 

but lets focus on the positives for a bit shall we?

(laying out some images of him, i need you guys to look at him)

like LOOK AT HIM!!!!! he’s got both, the silly expressions and beyond pissed off ones, a true balance, he’s both a bit of goofy loser and cool as hell 

oh and btw he’s trans coded as hell

first off unlike the other villains who dont mind whether you call them from their actual name or villain alias, Electro has a strong distaste over his old name. Angrily calling out people who dont refer to him as Electro. 

Not only that but he’s seen and treated as an outcast. That is until joining the sinister six, a band of outcasts just like him where he’s even eager to join back.

Plus he just radiates trans swag (also a a majority of the tssm fandom has come to a agreement that yeah electro is trans and is in no way cis )

LIKE GO TBOY GO!!!! KILL!!!!!!

Also theres even subtle nod of him even being queer as when he laments on what he wanted to do before the accident, he says “you know i had plans before all this, go back to college, meet someone, have a LIFE” 

You may have noticed he never specifies whether he wants to meet a girl or a guy which like  🏳️‍🌈 ? 

(also in the comics, Electro is canonically bisexual so....)

so yeah I know this site loves the owl house and belos is a good villain and all but he’s a terrible, completely irredeemable, asshole of a person and cmon would you really let electro lose to a guy like that? After all the guy’s been through? 

Plus a win for a electro is a win for trans/queer people all around (has made me cry and sob over his story as I relate to a lot of the aspects in his story personally as a queer/trans person and has made me so so attached to him) (has made me be so proud of being trans and give me hope about officially transitioning someday) (funny enough he actually helps me cope with my gender dysphoria A LOT and he has geniuely helped me so much and he means so so much to me)

So go vote ELECTRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (do it for me guys pretty please (stares at you with sparkling wide eyes)

[solitarily-sofia]

heartstopper (tv show) unpopular opinions:

tao should not have cut his hair. i feel like his hair being long was a sign of him standing by elle and growing his hair out in solidarity bc elle had mentions she got suspended bc of hair length (and taos is curled bc straight it would be past his chin which is the length elle got suspended for) also tao is supposed to be an "outcast" but now hes lowkey fineee

i wish the rugby lads had more screen time, specifically in the reoccuring line up of the three of them gossiping and being cut off by coach singh.

the whole point of the show is providing happy healthy lgbt couples so people complaining its too cheesey, cringy or unrealistic are incorrect.

i hate to say it but charlies mom may have been correct in banning him from nick until he got his grades up... maybe there was a better way of doing so but there was a clear connection bc charlie declining in school and him constantly being with nick. but i am glad how they added that to the show especially from charlies pov bc its so perfectly teenagerly and angsty lol.

i wish they had more characters not in romantic relationships especially with the implications of sahar x imogen other than issac just bc hes ace

kit and joe are the best actors in the show, both together and on their own. (i do think nearly everyone is fantastic but they are definitely the best especially kit but he has 10 more year of experience than everyone else)

most unpopular of all.. i dont love inogen as a character... i think she deserves the best but nick refering to her as one of hsi oldest, closest friends seems a bit strange seeing how most of there relationship is her having a crush on him. she provided a good subplot and conflict in season one but idk she doesnt seem to fit with the show. (this could be bc i was a comic fan first) also i think this could be different if she was a straight ally and expanding on her friendships instead but now i fee like they just wanted more queer people in the show and so they are throwing her with sahar. (the lighting was not subtle) anyway i dont think she was really needed in s2 except to keep ben, who i also dont rly think was needed, and i wonder what they do for her in season three

sorry for such a long list lol and although it may not seem like it i do truly love this show/story. feel free to disagree with any id love to hear your thoughts

Hii sorry for the late response today's been a bit chaotic.

Let's unwrap thiss

I to an extent agree with the tao one, his hairstyle really compliments his personality and he said he felt comfortable with it in season 2! And at first he only cut his hair for elle. But I personally think his season 2 hair looks better aside from that. Still love this though because it's cute that he grew it long for elle! :)

For the second one, I KNOWW!!. I would have loved to see the friendship between nick, Christian, sai and otis develop more!! However, if the show continues to follow as it does in the comics. We should see them more in season 3!! :)

With this I agree, heartstopper isn't supposed to be 100% realistic, it's meant to bring a sense of comfort to people who are struggling.

I agree that his mum probably should have handled it better but it helped Charlie in the long run so that's good. And I think she does genuinely care, but reading this winter and solitaire I can't say I'm a massive fan of her.

The imogen x sahar thing is understandable as there are a lot of queer teen relationships in the show, but the show is showing different types of queer experiences/relationships and how they come to terms with their sexuality. I understand your side though :)

Kit and joe are such incredible actors!! They never fail to have me sobbing on the floor. I MEAN THE FINAL SCENE OF SEASON 2 I WAS BALLING. And I agree the rest of the cast are so incredible too! I really loved tobies performance especially this season. It's rare to see aroace representation but he really did such a great job and it stood out to me.

And finally, with imogen (as a comic fan myself) at first I'll admit I didn't exactly LOVE her character, but it wasn't really her fault she was just a girl who liked a guy. I loved how her character developed though! I kinda think it's a good idea for imogen to be more involved because as seen in season 2 she doesn't have many friends and it would be great to see her adapt herself more to the Paris squad and maybe understand her sexuality more.

Thankyou so much for this ask I loved answering this :)

[ninapedia]

Jan 2025 Books Read

TOTAL: 9

The Wolf and the Woodsman, Ava Reid

This was Ava's first published book, and it shows. I can see the foundation of what I've come to love in Juniper and Thorn and A Study In Drowning there in it's infancy, but not fully developed. Her plotting gets better with each book she's written but the world building, characters, and character VOICE are all incredibly strong. Walked away enjoying the read and what I got out of the book.

Otherworldly, F.T. Lukens

It's F.T. Lukens. It's queer fantasy romance fluff. I knew what I wanted and I got it.

Lady M*cbeth, Ava Reid

Last Ava book I had to read and the most recent one. Ava's at her strongest when she's in her own world and not working within the confines of another. It is a wholly unique story though, and like The Wolf and the Woodsman I walked away satisfied with what I got out of it. I think Ava's incredibly strong at giving her heroines unique voices despite the core of the circumstances being similar. No two protag sounds alike even if they're all the same sort of 'flavour'.

Don't Let The Forest In, C.G. Drews

I am going to chew off my own arm. If someone touched me while I was reading this book I would have bitten them. I'm obsessed. I'm Insane. I want to scream about the ending specifically until my throat is raw. I want to eat the book in an entirely literal sense, like physically bite into it. I won't be able to stop thinking about this book for AT LEAST the rest of the year.

My Throat an Open Grave, Tori Bovalino

Unfortunately I read this book RIGHT AFTER Don't Let The Forest In, so it was in it's shadow. I still very much enjoyed the book and the messaging of it, and it's almost exactly what I look for when seeking out Faerie Romance (even if they don't use that term), but it's not what I wanted in that moment.

Compound Fracture, Andrew Joseph White

I know the tension in this book was written well because I had to keep stopping to brace myself for what was going to happen next. Adding the rest of Andrew's work to my list. Already bought the one that wasn't at my library.

Hell Followed With Us, Andrew Joseph White

See, now I have a problem with Andrew's books. And it's that I've gone through them way too fast. Finished Hell Followed With Us in two days. Love the way he writes body horror and especially as it relates to the trans experience. The Spanish Catholic that still lives inside of me was going feral over all the religious bits. Nothing subtle about the allegories, and the reflection of real world events is very loud and honestly probably too on the nose for me, but the writing was so my cup of tea it was easy to overlook.

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth, Andrew Joseph White

UNHINGES MY JAW AND SCREAMS. I think this was favourite of the three books, which is so funny to me because medical related horror is usually one of the things I cannot handle because I'm deeply terrified of Medical Things. NGL there were some rough moments for me, but I was so invested with Silas that I was determined not to drop it.

Catch all for AJ's writing as a whole:

I think the best written tension is when I see exactly what's going to happen and still flinch when it does. Build up liking blowing a balloon bigger and bigger knowing that it'll eventually pop and knowing exactly WHICH breath will push it over. The eventual cathartic release after the final string snaps is so so good.

Bury Your Gays, Chuck Tingle

This is probably going to be the last book I finish this month but it's a good way to end the month! This is my first time reading Chuck Tingle's work and I'm SO IMPRESSED by the way he used foreshadowing, like I'm hesitating calling it Chekhov's Gun but it does feel very Chekhov's Gun. There were so many little details that felt inane until they weren't. I was able to approximate what was going on but even when the reveals happened there were certain elements I didn't guess but with hindsight I saw that they were foreshadowed perfectly. Very entertaining read, I really want to read Camp Damascus now (his other horror book) but it's not in my library so I gotta wait until I can buy it.

CURRENTLY READING:

Old Wounds, Logan-Ashley Kisner

Where the Dark Stands Still, A.B. Poranek

Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI, David Grann

BOOK CLUB BOOK:

Inkspell, Cornelia Funke

[londonspirit]

Imagining what could have happened if the creator dared to dream bigger is fandom’s driving ethos. Whether or not the people behind the scenes expected to have the most passionate bloc of their audience fixate on a queer romance that may or may not have been intentional is irrelevant. When queerness is still on the periphery of society, it’s unsurprising that the relationships fans obsess over and seek to actualize are predominantly queer.

Our Flag Means Death, whose second season is now airing on Max, doesn’t require its fans to dream of the queer possibilities. Instead, it’s that rare breed of work that raises the romantic subtext—typically buried under bromatic jokes or subtle ambiguity—to undeniable text from the very beginning. And when fandoms and creative teams are both on the same page of the same unabashedly queer love story, as is the case for Our Flag, the experience is nothing short of sublime.

Queer media, particularly TV, has entered something of a golden age since the aughts. There are the early mainstream pioneers like The L Word and Will and Grace; the wholesome coming-of-age romcoms like Heartstopper and Love, Victor; and the adaptations taking beloved stories one big step further, like Interview with the Vampire, Good Omens, and Hannibal. There are gritty, inspired-by-real-life dramas like Orange is the New Black and Pose, murderous thrillers like Killing Eve and Orphan Black, raunchy comedies like What We Do in the Shadows and Sex Education, and many more stories featuring queer leads with fully fleshed-out storylines.

But even among these big names, this silly gay pirate show stands out by taking what these shows do best and fulfilling a particular need few have met before. The reasons are myriad: It refuses to use queer subtext as a prop or ransom for audience loyalty. It eschews the will-they-won’t-they dance that positions love as an end rather than a beginning. It defies the trope that you must renounce your past in order to move on. It scoffs at the notion of a ceiling for complex queer characters and relationships in a single show. And it demonstrates that depicting the experiences of queer people (and, just as importantly, people of color) don’t always have to center brutality and trauma—that healing can come from making acceptance the norm and bigotry the butt of ridicule, and that being kind doesn’t necessitate being passive.

As a show that didn’t explicitly market itself as “LGBTQ,” one of Our Flag’s most striking aspects is how it subverts the way this genre typically approaches romance. You could argue that the love story begins when Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) is recognized as the pirate he wants to be—while three-quarters of the way dead—by none other than the dread Blackbeard (Taika Waititi). Or you could say it begins when Blackbeard, a.k.a Ed Teach, is seen, for the first time, as someone who deserves softness and finery by the epitome of softness and finery himself. Or when Stede comforts Ed as he curls up in a bathtub reliving his worst memories. Or when Stede picks roasted snake out of Ed’s beard. Or when Ed gives himself up to the British to save Stede’s life. Or when…

You get my drift. There’s an entire season’s worth of scenes that make up the foundations of a fandom: moments of intimacy and connection that gesture toward the possibility of something more. These are the planks and rigs of a ship sturdy enough to outpace the fleet of fanworks chasing such moments down until feelings are admitted, consummated, and set sailing off into the sunset. In hindsight, Our Flag was undoubtedly heading in this direction. But it wasn't until the most incontrovertible on-screen gesture of romance happened—a kiss—that fans heaved a sigh of relief. Because fandom, for all its capacity to will alternative universes into being, is inherently bound to the media from which it springs, and many have only ever cast queer love as bait.

But with Our Flag, most fans aren’t at all concerned about what direction the story will take. And the key difference is that they trust the creators wholeheartedly.

For many queer fans, it’s a novel experience to interface with a creative team that is not only aware of exactly who the audience is and what they care about, but also proudly and vocally celebrates them. In interviews, producer and lead actor Taika Waititi has stated that he collects fan art on his phone. Vico Ortiz (who plays the nonbinary pirate Jim Jimenez) has shared that fan art encouraged them to get gender-affirming top surgery. Creator and showrunner David Jenkins once remarked that fan discussions are so spot-on, it was as if they had “been in the writers’ room.” And several queer actors on the show have expressed that the fandom has made them feel even more connected to the LGBTQ+ community.

Our Flag is one of the rare cases where fans and creators share the same vision for a given work. There are no calls for the figurative death of the overly originalist author, nor strict separation of the "canon" of the original work from the "fanon" interpretations of the audience. There is no need for fans to dig for subtext, because what they’ve been searching for has been on board with them all along—not as a blink-and-miss-it pantomime or a nothing-left-to-lose Hail Mary, but a queer love story that was intentionally, thoughtfully crafted from the beginning.

Our Flag presents fans with a vibrant world where everything is mostly beautiful and almost nothing hurts—at least, not yet. Fans can surmise the shape of the second act and the close of the third, even if they don’t know exactly how they’ll get there. But with full confidence in the creators, fans have the opportunity to stretch their imagination beyond tallying evidence and righting wrongs—and it makes for a fandom experience less a eulogy at a funeral of another buried gay, more a toast at the most extravagant and absurd cruise-ship wedding to ever grace the seven seas.

We are all on the same page of the same story, and the experiences of everyone involved is so much richer for it. Or, as Stede would say, treasure is the real treasure.

Fandom, like being a pirate, is in many respects a very queer enterprise. It centers on abandoning the rules so you can survive; grabbing every scrap of home you can find and making it your own; sharing the spoils with the people who see and accept you for who you are and who you want to be. Or, in the words of the show’s pseudo-antagonist, Izzy Hands (Con O’Neill), it's about belonging to something—a something that, I believe, could be enough to help you fall back in love with life and the world.

I think often of the scene that first drew me into Our Flag: Stede asks his former wife, Mary (Claudia O’Doherty), what it feels like to be in love. Looking back at it now, I realize her response describes what the experience of being a part of a community a show like Our Flag creates can feel like. Because love, she tells him, is as easy as breathing. It’s understanding each other’s idiosyncrasies and seeing the charm in them. It’s exposing each other to new things and laughing a lot. It’s passing the time so well together.

To every queer fan out there: I hope you find that, too. I hope you can name it without fear. And I hope you will be embraced for that revelation, and all the wonder and joy it brings.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Alfira and Lakrissa!

they are my fucking babygirls!!! Usually being canon completely torpedoes a ship for me, but they are just 🥰🥰🥰!!!

What made you ship it? I just love the little background story they have together! It's BG3 background writing at its best IMO. A lot of NPCs and background happenings outside of the main questline and companions feel pretty half-baked, but Alfira and Lakrissa are such vibrant individuals and their romance is just so romantic. Also they're cutiepies

What are your favorite things about the ship? They've really got it all: an arc that shows progress, drama, tragedy, cute flirting, a satisfying conclusion. This is the exact kind of background character ship I would have invented had the game not provided it. I actually do like that it's subtle enough that people (regular ppl, not assholes actively rejecting any sign of queerness) might miss it; the spoon-fed quality of canon ships is usually what turns me off of them, so being well-established but not spoon-fed makes the romance seem more authentic. I often think about what it'd be like to experience this crisis as an everyman, so watching these two just try their best to live their lives among the tragedy and chaos---and to build a life together, eventually---is just lovely.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I think they're often protrayed as a very fluffy ship, when actually much of their ambient dialogue is them supporting each other through the trauma of everything they experienced together. It's a really essential aspect of their relationship to me, so it's definitely something I try to explore in my fics and appreciate when I see it in others' works.

[pinkyjulien]

🌈 Queerness in CyberPunk 2077

I wanted to make this post earlier this month but got caught up in modding shenanigans, as per usual~

BUT! It's still June, still pride, so here it is :>

▶ DISCLAIMER

All of this is my analyses, headcanons, of different characters, some of them not confirmed at all in anyway or form! I'm a queer man myself, but I do not claim to know everything about queerness and being queer, everyone experience the game and interpret the characters differently 🤲 This is only my opinions, based off canon game events, clues, hints, as well as developpers's tweets, streams, files datamining etc etc Please do not see this thread as an attack, or as something invalidating! I'm more than curious to heard what you think about my personal analyses, if you agree, if you don't, and why! If you think other characters also display hints of queerness I'd love to hear it too! 💙

This picture is an update I did in 2022 of lil collage I did back in 2021~

I posted the first version on Reddit back in 2021 and it created this whole "what do mean JOHNNY is GAY?" (because a rainbow behind a man automatically means he's Gay and nothing else right) and a lot of biphobia over his character in particular (gasp- THE rockerboy?! Biseggsual?? In my viddy game??)

▶ You can look at the thread here and have a lil laugh

SO, NATURALLY, after doing the 2022 collage, I went and uploaded it to reddit once again! Because triggering bigots and seeing them stumble over their own tongues trying to debunk everything is really funny ✨

However, I instantly muted the thread and let it rot in its own sauce for some days, weeks, only coming back to it later and Oh Boy 👀

I did a thread on Twitter last year exploring everything that was said on the thread and explaining why I put certain characters on it

Thought it'd be cool and fun to re-explore that and share my thoughts with y'all here SO LETS GET BACK TO IT 😌🤙

▶▶▶

I'll mainly paste screenshots of what I already said on my twitter thread, but I might add some things there and there!

Damn I was kinda pissed off back then HGHFHGF but yeah, this is also the reason I won't ever make any straight or super straight flags I do not headcanon Delamain as Asexual, as there isn't any confirmation anywhere that he's interest in that kind of interaction or not, but I'll come back to him later!

Goro being canonly Queer is often missed, and this surprises me, considering he's one of the popular character! He is interested (or not) equally in both Fem and Masc V, giving he's replying to them the exact same ways! This isn't something done randomly by the devs :)

As said in the tweet, there isn't any direct and clear evidence of Mitch and Scorpion being a couple! Their relationship is heavily queer coded and queer people are more easily picking up on it than non-queer peoeple (and that's normal) Gay men have called their male partner Friend, Best friend and Brother through history maaaany many time, and that's part of my interpretation of their relationship too, especially giving they're both veterans who fought in the same war. The poem Mitch wrotes during "I'll Fly Away" (heavily implied) is romantic and gay coded, the gay novel in Mitch's tent (confirmed to be on purpose) is what we call environnemental story telling, it's subtle but adds to a character's backstory and lore! As for the datamining, I found a Mitch awkwardly explaining to V that no, Saul doesn't have any say in whatever he's doing with Scorpion stuff "because.... because... eh, that's just family stuff"

Note on Delamain here because I've heard it even caused some drama here on Tumblr that I said that? He uses He/Him to describe himself, the Main Entity, but multiples of his splites entities uses She/Her, meaning he's literally Non-Binary in how his entity is formed (I find it really cool for an AI ngl ngl) However if my headcanon offended anyone, I apologize! and I'd love to hear others interpretation :3

There isn't any open and visible MLM gay couple in Cyberpunk 2077! Bouncing off ElvenBeard's amazing analyses and thoughts on Kerry's sexuality, he can be seen as Bisexual (confirmed by RTAL themselves) and Homosexual (confirmed by the devs before and after the game released) he can be Both and Both are correct depending on how you view his character and how he grew from his past relationship (Bisexual with a masc preference, Bisexual who have to heal from his marriage, Gay man who realized his sexuality later after a wonky marriage, etc)

The whole "Responsability=Wife" Takemura take angers me to no end, taking its roots in heteronormativity- We see Goro care for his job above all else, to me that's what his "responsability" is and always was; his job

Nothing more to add here- Jackie's only relationship we see in game is with Misty, this doesn't confirm nor deny anything! (However with how he react to V pushing him, lip-bitting and all regardless of gender, I can totally see him as being queer)

AND That's about it!

It was interesting to dig into that thread last year and thought I'd share that here, as a refresher that Johnny is Bi, Takemura too, and smaller characters like Mitch and Evelynn still have clear hints of queerness to them ✨

I really like how CP77 touches on queerness, it feels realistic, it doesn't feel forced; which, sadly, create this problem of "UH?? This is pure LIES" if a character's sexuality is not splattered in your face, which then create the "Ugh why does it have to be forced down our throat" complains

Something something, lesson here is that people will always complain about queerness, be it loud, be it subtle, so fuck it! Scream it, go apeshit over small details, over-analyse everything cause chances are: this is intentional!

More Characters

I later noticed that Regina have a naked lady tattooed on her forearm, and since we know nothing is done randomly in CDPR's video games, makes me think that she might be sapphic in some way ✨

Mateo is also one of my fav "potential queer", how he could be a trans man, but there isn't anything really to support that other than that one interaction with V

▶ Link to the updated collage Reddit Thread

▶ Link to my Twitter breakdown

[blizzoops]

Y'all, I need to rant about my latest hyperfixation. I stumbled upon the manga, "How Do We Relationship?" At first I was like aw, this is a cute and fun little yuri story, with a healthy helping of spice. But HOLY SHIT IT GOT TOO REAL TOO FAST. It's good, but got damn does it hurt lol.

It's got it's fun moments too, just look at how they meet, I love these two (rant below)

As a hopeless romantic I have read many a romance manga/webtoon, both het and yuri, and nothing has ever come to as painfully realistic as this. Most of them are just cute little stories of the main characters slowly working towards the point where they finally start going out, and then that's it. Happily ever after. I mean those are fine, but the characters and story are too shallow for me to really get invested in.

But this manga... this manga starts off with them dating right away. It focuses on the struggles of being in a relationship and it is soooooo painfully realistic. I can't count the number times where I was just like, "ahhh, fuck, yep, been there," or like, "ahhhhhhh shit, I had this conversation," "damn this stings lol," but like, in the best way lol, because it's relatable!

I just read an interview with Tamifull (the author) and how she didn't want to necessarily market this as yuri, and wanted to create a story exploring relationships themselves, so that even het people could get into. So mission accomplished I guess cuz even with my limited het experiences I'm still feeling pain lol. Don't get me wrong, there are times when the difficulties of being in a queer relationship are brought up, but it's not the focus.

The MCs go through a lot of self-reflection, guilt, regret. I'm gonna try to be subtle here but skip this paragraph if you don't want spoilers. Like, you care about someone and want to be honest with them, but there's parts of yourself that you're afraid to show, because you're scared if your partner see it's they'll hate you. But then that just ends up building a wall between you. Loving someone deeply but realizing that you're incompatible, and staying together is just hurting you both.

You don't really grow until you've experienced some real pain, and then learn not to make the same mistakes again. And I say the same mistake cuz they make other mistakes along the way lol, that's just life! It's insane how much the MCs have matured since the first chapter.

But yeah, I can't sing this Tamifull's praises enough. Not only is she masterful at writing characters, but she does everything herself with no assistants???? Wtf???? This is the first manga I've read and really got invested in a very long time. Lately it's been webtoons for me cuz they're short and for a lot of them I scroll through pretty quickly, cuz I'm just so busy. But I'm not kidding when I say I binged the whole thing in like 12 hours straight, then went back and reread some chapters lol. And now I get to painfully wait for the biweekly updates...

Anyway, if you made it this far, I highly recommend you read "How Do We Relationship." I got a Viz subscription just for this lol, it's just 2 bucks so no biggie. This has easily become one of my favorite manga of all time. And I hope it stays that way by the time it wraps up I'm looking at you Bleach...

[something-awful1]

Queer Movie Review Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

This film, to me, is an incredibly representation of yearning. You understand Marianne completely, and by the end, you view Heloise in the same way she does. It feels abstract, of course, using metaphors and parallels to showcase the two lover's emotions towards eachother, and to foreshadow their ending. This is a beautiful story, and it frustrates me that I can't put my feelings on it into a cohesive analysis. I'll try my best though. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Women in this film are portrayed from the female gaze, not the male gaze. There's nudity in the film, but it's framed in a casual, nonsexual way. Marianna sits naked in front of a fireplace to warm herself. Heloise is shirtless as she lays in bed with Marianne. But there's never once a sex scene, and any intimacy is handled incredibly well, focusing on tender touches, longing looks, and raw emotions, rather than sexuality itself. It feels so refreshing, and it makes the two characters and their relationship feel so real, and so emotional. The movie is framed from Marianne's perspective, the perspective of an artist. She sees beauty in everything. The concept of her analyzing Heloise for a painting being a metaphor for her yearning is just so beautiful. This is the part I have a hard time putting into words. Because every look the two share in the movie, every touch, every interaction, it all has a double meaning, it's all a metaphor that foreshadows their ending. The use of literary devices in this film is just so perfect. I don't know any other way to word it. The way Heloise's grief at the end of the film is showcased is so beautiful. Earlier in the film, the two discuss how Heloise has never heard an orchestra before, and Marianne plays a Vivaldi piece on the piano for her. At the end of the film, the two both sit across from each other as they listen to an orchestra play the same piece. Marianne sees her and watches her the whole song, and we get a close up of Heloise, we see every expression she makes, and we get to witness the wide range of emotions that she experiences as she hears the same piece performed by someone she lost long ago, someone she remembers clearly in her heart, but knows she'll never see again. And all it would take is for her to turn her head once, she would see Marianne across the theater. But she never does, she preserves the memory of her lost love as is. It's such a beautiful scene. The thing I slowly began to realize as I watched the film was that as Marianne began to see more and more of Heloise, so did I. When she was studying Heloise's basic features for the sake of the painting, I found myself trying to memorize her too. By the end of the film, as she's watching the orchestra play, I felt like I didn't just see her features, I saw her feelings. I saw her emotions as memories of the life she lost played in her head, I saw what that bittersweet smile really meant. You begin to feel Heloise's pain, just from watching the subtle expressions she makes. It was so heartbreaking to watch. All in all, this mildly pretentious explanation is pretty much all I could type up. I can't really reiterate enough how this film made me feel. It's so gorgeous, you really just need to watch it to experience the emotions that I can't put into words.

i give it a 9/10. it's probably my new favorite movie

[reading-is-rereading]

The Star Beast Review

Doctor Who 60th Anniversary Special #1, story #301

Bombastic, ridiculous WHO.

We've already seen a smidge of Tennant, so I hadn't anticipated otherwise, but he and Tate drop back into character without the slightest hiccup. Character introductions and reintroductions, generally, are nearly invariably handled with a deft hand. Shirley's formal intro feels a titch late on the initial watch, but doesn't stand out on rewatch; maybe a visual cue when she's first on camera to indicate involvement with UNIT (show her in a UNIT vehicle?), or maybe have the UNIT soldier she first speaks with address her as ma'am. Beep is just slightly unnerving from the get-go, which is perfect.

Holographic sonic screwdriver fits very neatly. The sonic has always been magic-wand-adjacent; a little bit of a visual to show us what the Doctor's doing is quite welcome. The holographic walls are a little bit more of a stretch. If they are used with any regularity, though, it makes sense to establish them like this first, doing something not-functionally-dissimilar to just using the sonic to disable the soldiers' and warriors' weapons. It's all another means to escape thus far, but that setup could lead to something more creative later on.

The plot of the episode isn't afraid of itself and doesn't try to couch its premise in sarcasm or other insincerities. Using familiar structural components and set pieces as misdirections is effective, even if you've read "Doctor Who and the Star Beast." The reveal itself is well handled; the methodical build from entering the garage through the Wrarths' testimony sets up the very sharp turn of Beep's sudden violence. The Doctor's suspicions do seem slightly underbaked. I would guess there was a version of the preceeding sequence, from the puppeted soldiers' arrival to the Doctor and company's escape, that better supported the suspicion but was otherwise worse for pacing.

Rose is excellent. Donna's conversation with Silvia about Rose's identity was possibly the best version of that we've seen, ever, in mass-audience literature. Her identity is handled very matter-of-factly, almost subtly, and then... it isn't. It becomes a plot point. We've had a few decades, now, of Girl Power saving the day; Doctor Who is cheesy enough that Trans Power doesn't feel out of place, necessarily. I would have liked to see Rose established as a nonbinary transfeminine person initially, rather than expecting that bit of her identity to be fully grokked by an audience that isn't overwhelmingly queer (alternatively, just cut the 'nonbinary' bit; I do understand the temptation of the cheeky gag, Russ, but it's a bit much). The remainder of the plot relevance is again well-done: the metacrisis showed itself in her in subtle ways; not in the fact that she's trans but in the way she constructed herself, both as a gendered person and a young woman generally. Explicitly telling us that she chose her own name feels extremely important, as choosing a name is such an integral and intimate part of the trans experience. The one bit out of place was that line about a "male-presenting Time Lord," as that feels both too hackneyed and out of place from a with-it, empathetic, young queer person. I also don't think we needed to textually "let go" of the metacrisis at all. It would have done just as well to have the Doctor, or Rose, or Donna, tell us that the metacrisis was temporary by nature, and would fade, and always would have faded away if not for its unfortunate fatality-to-human-minds thing. But otherwise, being trans can save the world, absolutely.

Smaller notes: - Wow, Silvia. Much better use of her here than anywhere in Tennant's first tenure. She's more human, and proper funny. - Baiting us about Wilf, in light of Bernard Cribbins's passing, was just mean. - The line about pronouns was actually good; the Doctor's reaction to it was perfect. Good bit of poking fun. - Shirley's line about the ship having landed, nor crashed, is poorly placed relative to the rest of the setup for the reveal. It's fine, but it could have been elsewhere in the sequence to better effect. - It's amazing what visuals will do; I don't love most of Murray Gold's renditions of the Doctor Who theme, though this is above par for him, but the animation itself elevated it highly. Second best modern WHO intro, for sure. - Speaking of Gold, though, his scoring remains superb. "I Am The Doctor" remains his most iconic piece, and the very subtle reimagining of it, as the DoctorDonna save London through technical know-how, is excellent, and different enough from Smith's version as to feel fitting for Tennant's new Doctor. - I am neither surprised nor particularly bothered by the lack of a Next Time trailer for "Wild Blue Yonder," considering the wraps under which it's been kept. If the Next Time trailers are actually a thing of the past, though, I do wonder how the show will encourage continued viewing from one episodic story to the next. Cliffhangers are a different animal, but so much of WHO is Something Completely Different, week-to-week; I suspect those trailers did more for viewership, on the whole, than the production staff may assume. - Love the new Tardis. Smith's first Tardis remains my favourite, and I adore how this interior is multi-levelled in a similarly haphazard-and-whimsical fashion.

As a whole, the episode's handful of misteps don't derail it in any meaningful way. Every performance is excellent, the effects have never looked better, the pacing is superb. We end on a very solid question mark. Solid B, leaning toward a B+.