#this is such a ramble but i hope it answers your question

[emilys-bangs]

of broken bones and hearts | e.p

Tags: established relationship, mom!emily, broken bones :(, mild hurt/comfort, a dash of angst, healthy helping of guilt ridden momily because of course she would be, use of petnames, no use of yn

Summary: Eloise breaks a bone. Emily freaks out, you exercise damage control, and the both of you pamper her with affection.

Word count: 2.7k

Work is slow. Slower than usual. No cases, no consults, nothing except brain numbing paperwork. Usually Emily doesn’t mind it—it means being home for dinner, helping settle Eloise into bed and unwinding with you on the couch. But today it grates on her.

She’s staring down at a half filled report for last week’s case, tapping her pen on the dotted lines with an idle restlessness. Her sugar-brimmed coffee is down to dregs. The fluorescent lights make her feel caged.

Her phone vibrates with a call; Emily is answering before the first ring dies out. She automatically knows it’s you—or she hopes it is.

“Hi, babe.” She thumbs the skin between her brows, waits for the sweet relief of your voice to come through.

“Hi. Okay, listen. I’m gonna tell you something, but don’t freak out.” 

Emily stiffens. Her spine goes ramrod straight; immediately, her thoughts flit to Eloise. 

“Is it Eloise?”

“She’s fine.” You insist. “We’re at the hospital. She broke her arm at play time, we just got done with the x-ray and we’re waiting for the doctor.” You say it all in one breath, a long string of words that makes Emily’s mouth go dry. “She wants to talk to you.”

Emily is still blinking at her computer when movement rustles in her ear—the phone being pressed to Eloise’s cheek. A belated tremble rocks her hands.

“Mommy.” Eloise whines quietly. The sound grips Emily’s chest in a vice. She’s still stuck in five seconds ago, before images of her daughter in a cast flooded her mind. She roughly shakes her head, as if she can force them out.

“El, hi.” Her voice is rusty. Emily clears her throat, digs her knuckles into her eye. Stars burst along her vision. “I heard you’re at the hospital. How do you feel, my love?” 

“My hand hurts,” Eloise sniffles. She sounds like a kicked puppy.

Emily’s fingers flex into a sweaty fist. “I know it does, honey. The doctor’s gonna make it all better now, okay? You just…you just have to stay really still for them so they can put a cast on. And then you’ll get to choose a color for it!” She forces fake cheer into her voice. “I bet they have a ton of colors.”

There’s a stretch of silence on the other end. Emily’s thumb forces its way between her teeth.

“Pink?” Her daughter mumbles eventually.

“Pink sounds perfect. Just remember to stay really still while they’re putting it on, okay?”

“Mmn.” 

The dulled tone of her voice makes Emily’s heart clench. Eloise is almost always cheerfully rambling about one thing or the other, her inner monologue spilled out for you and Emily to hear, taking up more space than she does. Hearing her reduced to weak, monosyllabic responses twists at Emily’s gut. She blows out a stuttering breath.

“I love you, Eloise. I’ll see you real soon.”

“’Kay.”

Emily is already standing by the time your voice comes through again. 

“Why did you just call?” She questions, only paying half a mind to the way she bites out the words.

“Because I knew you’d do this and I didn’t want to freak you out—well, more than necessary,” your voice lowers, “—before knowing she’s okay. And she is. She’s in a bit of pain but they gave her Ibuprofen a few minutes ago, it should kick in any minute.”

“A broken bone isn’t fine,” Emily mutters, flipping her report closed and grabbing her purse. She doesn’t meet Reid or Morgan’s gazes as she steps past their desks to Hotch’s office. “I’m on my way.”

“We’re almost done here.” You say. For the first time, she hears the threads of exhaustion in your voice. Emily’s frown deepens.

“I’ll meet you at home, then.” Her tone leaves no room for argument.

You resign to it. So does Hotch. Emily tries to ignore the tremble in her hands as she gets in the elevator and presses P.

___

She gets home before you do. When you walk in with a McDonald’s bag in your hand it’s clear why. A pharmacy bag dangles from your wrist, dangerously close to slipping over the heel of your hand as you shut the front door. Eloise is in your arms, slumped and limp; her purple cast hangs listlessly off your shoulder.

Emily distantly clocks the deep violet but doesn’t linger on it, hurrying instead to lighten your load, taking the food and the meds before easing Eloise’s school bag from your grip. You murmur a quiet thanks. Her lips find your cheek, a wordless response, and then she’s stepping behind your shoulder to glance at your daughter.

“She’s pretty out of it,” you whisper. 

You’re not wrong. Eloise’s eyes are closed, lashes threaded together and resting on her cheeks. Mouth pressed into your shoulder, she breathes evenly, not stirring at her mother’s light touch when she reaches over to sweep the mussed bangs over her brows. 

“Poor thing.” Emily sighs quietly. “Let’s get her to bed.” She murmurs. You nod, though the sun still streams in through the windows and paints the house gold. 

It takes more effort than it usually does to settle your daughter into bed. You take careful steps all the way to her room and Emily drowns Eloise’s bed with more pillows than usual; when you finally set her down in it, you gently elevate her arm the way the doctor showed you to. Throughout it all Eloise only stirs when you move the cast. Her whine is muffled, fingers twitching where they peek out from under the plaster. Emily bites down on her thumb to stop herself from grabbing your hand away.

“How did it happen?” She asks when you’re in the kitchen, putting the happy meal in the oven. 

Your brows tick upward. “She was trying to do a cartwheel.”

“Jesus.” Emily groans into her hands. Guilt curdles in her stomach again, making her shudder with nausea. 

She was the one who suggested gymnastics lessons in the first place. Ballet and soccer failed to catch Eloise’s attention; she was too listless in her tutu and too disgruntled at being jostled around in her soccer jersey. Gymnastics seemed like a perfect fit. It’s only been a few months but she’s obsessed with it, constantly twisting and bending on the mat you’d gotten her, all but abandoning her toys in favor of rolling around in the living room. You and Emily had warned her time and time again about practicing without either of your supervision, but the girl is four years old and half Emily.

“It’s my fault,” Emily mutters. She digs her palms deeper into her eyes, sparks flashing in the dark. “God, what was I thinking? She’s fucking four years old—”

“Hey, hey, none of that.” You say, gripping Emily’s wrists and pulling none too gently. The look in your eyes is hardened with determination—a common sight that usually pulls her from the edge whenever she spirals about anything regarding your daughter. “You said it yourself, Em, she’s four. Accidents like this are bound to happen, whether she’s doing gymnastics or not.”

“She wouldn’t have tried to launch herself into the air otherwise,” Emily mutters, unsurprised to feel a dampness on her lashes.

“Wouldn’t she?” You tilt your head. Eloise is nothing short of adventurous, and both you and Emily know that. You squeeze a soft pattern on her wrists, fingers digging lightly into her skin before letting go and doing it again.

“No.” Her mouth pinches as she drops her forehead on your shoulder. “Maybe we should stop sending her to those lessons. They’re making her reckless.”

“They’re making her fearless. That’s not a bad thing, Emily.” Your fingers release her wrists and travel to the base of her neck, finding knots of tension. You start working them. “She’s not scared to try, and she shouldn’t be, just as long as we’re with her. But the point still stands—this could’ve happened for any other reason.”

Emily doesn’t say anything. She resignedly grabs on to your waist and inhales, filling her lungs with your familiar scent—shampoo, perfume, fabric softener. Something else sneaks in, too, spoiling the usual comfort of your fragrance. Emily recognizes it; faint traces of antiseptic. Her stomach turns.

“I know it’s hard for you to believe,” you murmur, now tracing her jaw, nudging her chin up to get her eyes to meet yours, “but not everything’s your fault. Things just happen sometimes.”

Emily responds with a sound deep in her throat, her brows arching wryly.

Your eyes narrow. “Okay,” you announce. “As your spouse, I demand you stop feeling guilty. Since I do know best and all.”

A smile tickles the corners of Emily’s lips. “Well, if my spouse insists,” she drawls, though her stomach is still unsettled from it all. A few years ago she’d have gaped in disbelief at this version of herself, but by now she’s well used to it—though she still doesn’t like it. Emily is perfectly composed, unshakable. Always. Except when it comes to you and Eloise. That has become a hard fact, as sure as the day is long. She’s entirely helpless to stop it.

“I do,” you murmur, pulling her in for a kiss. 

Emily belatedly realizes it’s the first time she’s kissed you since the morning. Her shoulders loosen from the press of your lips, soft against hers, the way you thread your fingers through her hair. Warmth builds in her chest; she wraps an arm around your back to keep you close, humming into your mouth. The world quiets for a moment, her frazzled nerves smothered into something more tame under your touch. Your nails gently scrape against her scalp and her spine warms, muscles unlocking as she lets go of your lower lip and nuzzles her nose into yours.

“Sorry I snapped at you,” she whispers.

“It wasn’t really a snap. More of a nibble,” you shrug, like you’re rolling it off your shoulders.

“Still.” Emily insists.

“It’s okay,” you give her a quick peck before escaping the cage of her arms, “I know how it feels. She’s my kid too, you know.” You make your way to the counter, peering into the grocery bag she’d left there before you came. “You went to the store?”

Emily nods as you pull out two sheets of stickers. “Got her ice cream,” she says, “and those. So she can decorate the cast.”

“Smart.” You hum. “She was pretty torn up about it not being pink.”

“What kind of hospital doesn’t have a pink fucking cast?” Emily scorns.

“A bad one,” you agree mildly. As your eyes scan the—very pink—sticker sheets, a smile starts to curve your lips. “But,” you wave them in the air, “at least you had the foresight.”

“At least.” Emily says dryly.

Silver linings and all that.

___

Emily’s leaning over dinner on the stove when a small voice catches her attention.

“Mommy,” Eloise mumbles, half squished into your shoulder. 

Emily turns to face the both of you, a sad smile spreading on her lips when she sees the cast again. It starts just under Eloise’s right elbow and continues until her little knuckles, leaving only her fingers exposed under the purple. The toddler’s head is cushioned on your shoulder, her eyes drowsy with sleep but fighting to stay open. You’d hoped she’d sleep through the night, but barely two hours after you put her in bed she called out through her ajar bedroom door.

Emily steps away from the stove and into the reach of Eloise’s stretched arm, obliging her daughter and gingerly taking her from you. She’s unsurprised at this show of affection; Eloise—like herself—often demands it, more so when she’s sick or hurt. It’s one thing she’s infinitely glad her daughter inherited from her, even if right now it comes with more work. You help adjust her casted arm across her chest.

“Hi, Eloise.” Emily whispers, a muscle somewhere deep under her skin unlocking at the familiar weight in her arms. She brushes a kiss on her daughter’s sleep-warm cheek. “How’s my brave girl doing? Is your arm still hurting?”

Eloise shakes her head, her brows dipping into a frown identical to yours. “S’okay now,” she says. That doesn’t stop her lips from curving into a pout, her frown growing deeper by the second.

Emily presses her thumb to the wrinkled skin between her brows. “What is it, my love?”

Eloise burrows into Emily’s neck, her free hand curling around the collar of her sweatshirt. She huffs out a warm sigh, deeply grieved. “They didn’t have pink,” she mumbles.

You chew on your lip, clearly attempting to keep the smile at bay. Emily pulls a face at you as she absently smooths between Eloise’s shoulder blades.

“That’s awfully rude of them.” She says softly. Her lips find the warm skin of Eloise’s forehead; Emily presses a kiss there. “What if we put some pink stickers on it? Would that make it better?”

The sound Eloise makes isn’t entirely too pleased, but Emily carefully carries her over to where the stickers are anyway. She grabs a sheet and holds it up, thumbing at the plastic covering. “I got these for you. What do you think, would they look pretty on your cast?”

Eloise frowns at them, unconvinced. She reaches out to touch a sticker, her finger hovering between a slice of strawberry topped cake and a pink ice-cream cone.

“Those are pretty,” you nudge gently, sifting your fingers through Eloise’s bedhead and tucking some of the hair away from her face. “Do you wanna try putting them on?”

Her lips purse into a contemplating pout. Eloise shakes her head, turning to bury her face back into Emily’s neck again. Her frown is practically etched onto Emily’s skin; she can feel it, as sure as she feels the wild hair tickling the underside of her jaw. While this is a lesser pain than hearing her daughter’s distressed voice through the phone, it still throbs dully. Biting back a sigh, she sets the stickers down.

You step in again.

“Are you still hungry, El?”

Suddenly the weight of Eloise’s head lids off of Emily’s shoulder. “Did we get McDonald’s?” She asks, more energy in her voice than Emily’s heard all day. It’s a familiar burst of sunshine, the warmth of it sinking instantly into her skin. She closes her eyes and absently kisses the side of Eloise’s head, thanking all her lucky stars for you.

“We did, honey. Do you want to eat that now?”

Eloise’s frantic nodding makes both you and Emily smile. She comes out of her hiding spot, sufficiently appeased with the shift in conversation. As you heat up the meal, Emily grabs the toy inside and hands it to her daughter. 

“I’m gonna set you down now, honey.” She says. Eloise doesn’t pay her any mind, too preoccupied with the toy in her hand to care. Emily sets her down on the counter and hides a wince at the pull in her shoulder as she grabs the golden, sugar infested cup of apple juice in the greasy bag. You chat to Eloise as the food heats up, pulling her attention away from Emily diluting the juice.

“Can we also watch Star Wars?” She mumbles, fiddling with the toy one-handed. 

No TV while eating is a strict rule of yours. But under the weight of Eloise’s pleading eyes and her vibrant cast, it bends. A soft sigh answers, and Emily stifles a smile as you nod and murmur your assent.

That’s how you end up eating dinner on the couch, two pasta bowls and a happy meal on your respective laps, an army of stuffed animals joining you amongst the cushions to watch Lego Star Wars. Sergio serves as a willing armrest for Eloise’s cast, and that night the whole family wedges into your bed, carefully nestled between you and Emily.

taglist: @suckerforcate @sickoherd @lextism @catssluvr @i-lovefandom @haiklya @justhereforthosefics @storiesofsvu@ashluvscaterina @basicallyvivi@temilyrights@professorsapphic

[bloominglegumes]

In your ‘how to draw tf’ what do you search (if you do) to find references for the blaster poses? I love how much character they seem to show

(i assume this is what you were referring to :) )

this response is so atrociously late i dont have any excuse ._.

but to answer the question,, the two poses on the right side were the same as the one on the left, just with a slight bump to show different attitudes :O

in my drawing up there, i felt copying my real figure of blaster exactly made him look a bit stiff, esp considering his personality, so i shifted the original pose slightly to convey some stronger emotions that felt more in line with my idea of blaster :) more sass + cocky attitude, if i had to describe it, giving him more weight on one leg, leaning one way or another to show confidence or hostility or whatever

as for deciding how to bump a pose, all i can rlly suggest for that is to study body language, and pay attention to how different people will act when conveying different emotions! personally i like looking at theatre performance for this, since the exaggeration is something that translates well into art, and u could definitely study from animation as well !! disney classics are classics for a reason fjdhf

since im a transformers blog here tho, i'd place tf one, tfp and earthspark s1 as some great refs for character acting >:))

tf one being feature animation has the fullest range of motion + performance, plus its main cast w pretty different personalities all experience a huge range of emotions + situations over the course of the film and its just beautiful and who wouldnt want to study it frame by frame :DD tfp and earthspark s1 are also fantastic for seeing how to handle posing/acting in a wide range of situations, and theres plenty of screentime to work from ;)

going to stop here before i get too rambly but i hope this was at least a bit helpful? i'm rlly sorry again about leaving this in my inbox for ages :,,))

[cressidagrey]

The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 5

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes: 

Mention of epilepsy, seizures, memory loss, hospitals and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Lando woke up feeling like absolute shit.

His head was pounding, his mouth was drier than the desert, and judging by the fact that he’s still half-dressed and tangled in a celebratory McLaren flag, last night must have been good.

He groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face. He remembered fragments of the night before - flashes of bright lights, loud music, and way too much drinking.

He had won.

Lando Norris was a Formula 1 Grand Prix Winner.

He had been nearly drowned in champagne by Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc.

He had won the 2024 Miami Grandprix.

Lando let out a sigh and gingerly pushed himself up into a sitting position, clutching his head as a sharp pain shot through his temples.

He fumbled for his phone, cringing at the notifications that had piled up overnight. Messages from friends, family, and the racing world congratulating him on his victory.

He blinked blearily at his phone.

Too early. Too bright. Too… too.

But there’s one thing he needs to do before he even considers getting up.

He scrolled through his notifications, heart sinking when he still doesn’t see Lizzie’s name.

But there’s nothing.

His fingers fumble as he types out another message.

Lando: Hey, just checking in. Are you okay? You didn’t answer last night. I was a bit… not in the best state, but I was really hoping to hear from you.

Lando: I’m just worried. Is everything alright? I know I was probably being a bit much last night, but you can always just let me know if you need space or whatever. I just want to make sure you’re good.

Nothing.

Lando stared at his phone, the pit in his stomach growing deeper with each passing second. He didn't understand why Lizzie hadn't responded, and the not knowing was driving him crazy.

He groaned, running a hand down his face.

He tried calling. Straight to voicemail.

His stomach twists.

Lando didn't want to jump to conclusions, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Lizzie was usually pretty good about replying to his messages.

He tried texting again.

Lando: Look, I get it if you need time. I don’t want to come off too strong. I just feel like I should've heard from you by now, and I’m starting to panic a bit. Just a quick text would help me breathe for a second, you know?

Lando stared at his phone, watching the time tick by with agonizing slowness. He'd been awake for nearly an hour now, and Lizzie hadn't responded to any of his messages.

He tried calling again, only to be met with the same response - straight to voicemail...again.

And then his phone pinged.

Lizzie: Hi, this is Lizzie’s father. She’s in the hospital. Multiple seizures. She’s woken up a few times, but she’s not very responsive. I don’t know who you are, but judging by the way she’s saved your contact as ‘Lando Not Dying Yet Norris,’ I assume you’re important enough to be told.

Lando blinks. Stares. His hangover vanishes instantly.

She’s at the Royal Sussex Hospital. Thought I’d tell you in case you want to show up to visit her.

Lando feels like all the air has been sucked from the room.

Hospital. Seizures. Not responsive.

He doesn’t even realize he’s shaking until he fumbles trying to type back.

Lando: I—fuck. Is she okay? What happened?

Three little dots appear, then vanish. Then appear again.

Lizzie: She’s stable. But it was bad.

Lando pushes back the covers, already moving, already grabbing for his McLaren hoodie like that will somehow help him fix this.

He needs to be there.

Now.

His hands are unsteady as he opens his flight app. The next available flight back to London is in four hours.

Not soon enough.

Lando: I’m coming back to the UK. I’ll be there as soon as I can.

There’s no reply, but Lando doesn’t care. His heart is hammering, his mind racing, and there’s only one thing he knows for sure—

He has to get to Lizzie.

He…

There was a knock at the door.

Lando jumped, his already frayed nerves on edge. "Who is it?" he called out, his voice cracking slightly.

“It’s Oscar.”

Lando sagged with relief as he recognized the Australian accent drifting through the door. “Come in.”

The door creaked open and Oscar Piastri poked his head into the room. His eyes widened when he saw Lando’s harried expression. “Mate, you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Lando shook his head, feeling the tension in his shoulders tighten even more. "No, not alright. Lizzie’s in the hospital. Multiple seizures."

Oscar’s expression immediately darkened. "What the hell? Multiple seizures? How is she doing now?”

“Not good, apparently. Her dad said she’s stable, but she’s not very responsive. I’m flying back to London to see her.” Lando ran a hand through his disheveled hair, his heart still racing with worry.

“God damn.” Oscar stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind him. He studied Lando’s face for a moment, his eyes narrowing. “You’re a mess, mate. Have you eaten anything?”

Lando shook his head, the thought of food making his stomach churn. "No, I haven't even had a chance to think about food. I’m just freaking out, mate. I’ve never seen her have a seizure, let alone multiple seizures…She had one last week before we had dinner, but she seemed fine, just tired… I have no idea how bad it’s going to be. This is...this is so messed up."

Oscar nodded sympathetically, his expression still grave. "Go," he said simply. "I'll make your apologies to Zac and the team."

Lando nodded numbly, already moving to pack a bag. Oscar stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "And mate? Try to keep calm. You won’t do Lizzie any good if you’re a wreck yourself."

Lando huffed out a breath. "I’ll try."

"Can you tell Max..." Lando trailed off. He had no idea what to even…

Oscar's expression softened. “I’ll tell Max. And the others. You just focus on getting to the hospital, alright?”

Lando nods, his throat suddenly feeling thick. "Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Oscar."

[khaoala]

Hi, sorry for making my problem your problem, but I'm feeling a little low for a variety of reasons, including the fact that, despite my best blocking skills, I still haven't been able to fully avoid the ppl throwing shade at KB/FK's impact (or lack thereof according to them) in THK (seriously, feels like I'm unwillingly stuck in an endless game of whac-a-mole just with bad takes/poor fandom etiquette!). So I thought I'd try and take my mind off it by sending you an extremely self-indulgent ask! As an FK fan extraordinaire (and one of my fave giffers btw), what are your:

favourite scenes from each of their shows?

favourite FK moments from real life?

hopes and dreams for THK finale?

hopes and dreams for the Holy Grail of FK shows? E.g. ideal plot or genre, relationship dynamic, supporting cast, director, etc.

And now for the harder questions! Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to convert an unbeliever into an FK stan (of them as both separate actors and as a pairing). You can only pick ONE scene from their entire repertoire for each category. Go!

best acting from First

best acting from Khao

best acting from FK as a pairing

best demonstration of FK's chemistry

best kiss (aesthetics+characterisation+emotion+context+whatever other criteria you choose!)

I eagerly await your answers! (but obvs you're under no obligation to respond - tbh, even just forming the ask has helped lighten my mood! Feel free to ignore or to throw it over to someone else if you'd rather, or even if there's anyone else you think would be interested in contributing - I just enjoy hearing other ppl's 'FK as Acteurs' highlights! Someone gushing about my faves = instant serotonin boost!)

In return (and as tribute to your new handle), I offer you this, imo, grossly overlooked example of Khao pulling his signature Khaoala move: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GhSzVQvX0AAm7mh?format=jpg&name=900x900 ...😉

i'm sorry about that, anon. curating your online bubble can be a lot of work and it's not always 100% and i'm sorry you're getting stressed bc of that. i'm not sure if you're going to the tags on either twitter or tumblr, but i'd recommend you stay away of those. twitter is a bit more difficult, but once you get your little bubble things get better but for tumblr, if you're just looking for pretty edits like the ones fandom provides, i'd recommend checking only the thkedit tag. it's a lot better than dealing with the trolls with poor fandom etiquette. i hope you find a space you feel more comfortable and welcomed, anon, i know i say this often, but fandom spaces are supposed to give you relief and not headaches.

you didn't even ask for advice and i'm already rambling, i'm so sorry, but to your questions which were such a delight to receive (you have no idea how happy i felt for being called a fk fan extraordinaire and to know i'm one of your favorite giffers. i love to know people like the things i do, it does wonders to my self-esteem).

ATTENTION!

this is a nearly 2000 word-vomit reply where i talk in length about my favorite topic of the last couple of years, firstkhaotung. i'm sorry for not being able to be concise. pls have the picture the anon sent as their favorite khaoala moment which i must agree, is extremely underrated, as a form of apology.

1.favourite scenes from each of their shows? (i'll just pick the ones they were paired together bc you know, there's a lot)

the eclipse - akkayan's first kiss in akk's room. that scene is so important to them, and also to me. the way ayan was so careful with akk, he took his time, gave akk room to assess the situation, back away if he wanted to. how softly he spoke to akk and how scared akk was of all of that. that scene was beautiful beautiful beautiful and so well acted, too.

moonlight chicken - listen, i know they only have three scenes, but they are all very important to me, alright? with that being said, the scene in alan's office. alan is smiling like gaipa hung the stars in the sky with his bare hands and it's full sunshine mode, and first's smile is so beautiful, and he's flirty, gaipa is oblivious, it's just so sweet. they are healing and that's amazing.

only friends - the fight in sand's apartment. though the therapy scene is just as amazing, i feel like the apartment fight has so much impact. the way sand was collected the whole time and only allowed himself to break down once ray was out of earshot. and how ray was so distraught by the idea of the one person he thought he could trust betraying him, it was awful. it makes me teary to this day.

the heart killers - the scene at the beach in ep. 8. thank you first for adding a whole monologue to this scene. i can totally understand why that's his favorite. the tiredness, the desolation, they are both so exhausted and bison doesn't want to fight anymore and he's angry, but he loves kant, and kant doesn't want to lie to bison and wants him to know that. it's beautifully acted. i stayed on that scene for days. it made my heart hurt so good.

2. favourite FK moments from real life?

i have too many that i suddenly forgot as soon as i read this question, so at some point i might even add to this when i remember. but the one i can think about right now was when they were on arm's share for first's birthday and khaotung's wish for first in the upcoming year was: "as you grow, you might find more people, but if you do, let them go, stay only with me instead."

3. hopes and dreams for THK finale?

i do hope for a wedding. i didn't want a double wedding bc i find them so tacky, but with the recent talks with fadelstyle + style's dad, that might be where they are going IF they are even going to have one. as you might have noticed, i'm not stressed about the finale. i think they'll have time enough to access the most urgent matters (gay sex in prison) and with fadelbison spending their time locked up, they'll have all the room to live normal lives like they wished. bison talked about assassins not being able to have a home, family and a lover so i hope they get all of that and more.

4. hopes and dreams for the Holy Grail of FK shows? E.g. ideal plot or genre, relationship dynamic, supporting cast, director, etc.

oh man, i'd love for them to work with the women in gmm, first of all. and i know i had a talk about gl people hating men (with reason in some cases) but gmm loves to experiment with them, so pls let them act with namtanfilm (these four in a show would make my brain stupid happy). sarah pitched an idea that was very similar to the one i had in my head, though hers have first and film as siblings, but the premise would be the same. one trying to help the other approach their crushes. it's silly, slice of life, light comedy stuff which i know they can pull off just as well as the heavy drama stuff.

i'd also love to see them in a show a la sammon with the thriller and investigation vibes. but i'm no fanfic writer and i'm happy with most plots i'm given and if it's them, i know it'll be well-acted.

as for directors, p'aof is the pick for most bl stans, and i agree, i hope they get the chance to work with him again, and have fk as the mains this time. i'd love to see them work with p'nuchy as well, from not me, or the director of be my favorite and who's going to direct joongdunk's and skynani's shows this year. he's amazing, i loved what he did with be my favorite, and while i'm not sure if i'll tune in for either of these new shows, i know he'll do great.

(i love that you deemed this first questions as easy and these one as harder, because let me tell you, i had a hard time with both sets!

1.best acting from First

i can only talk about what i've seen, and despite hearing all the praises for his portrayal of a girl stuck in boy's body in the shipper, i didn't have the guts to watch it yet. i was debating between the "break-up" scene in front of yolo and this one, but i need to praise first as akk. while gmm was going their reprise of the eclipse last year, i took that chance to rewatch the show as well, and i can't believe first didn't get a nomination for his portrayal of akk. he's spectacular in his scenes as this hard-working, perfectionist, in-the-closet, slightly homicidal and self-destructive student prefect. the one scene that makes me stop for like five minutes every time is the one where thua exposes him as the curse and he cries in the stairs. and i know there are people who aren't fan of scenes that are heavy on the dramatics, but that scene alone is so sad and first manages to express that masterfully bc it's terrifying yes, but it also feels cathartic in a way bc there's no weight of that lie on him anymore, so he cries ans sobs and leans on aye for support. idk, it just stuck with me for such a long time.

2. best acting from Khao

ray was khao's best performance in my opinion, and while i agree with everyone who mentions his therapist scene (which was a masterpiece honestly, no one and i mean no one would be able to deliver that one other than him the way he did), i'll go with mew's birthday party. i remember watching the bts of that scene and force was speechless and said that was his favorite scene they had shot until then, and man, there's a reason for that. he ate that up! the pure anger and control of the scene he had. the room was full of people but everyone's eyes were on him, and ray was terrifying in that one. that's what i mean when i say khaotung might be shorter than most of his co-stars but he knows when to use his presence to appear actually menacing. ray on mew's birthday party was scary.

3. best acting from FK as a pairing

you said i have to convince a non believer to stan fk, so i'll use the scene where they reconcile in only friends, ep. 10, if i'm not mistaken bc when you have a scene that was a page or two long, and direction shortened shortened shortened it until it was only an "i'm sorry" and they acted so well that it was convincing enough to make you, the audience, fully believe in the sincerity of the apology and the love and regret that laced their hug, that's a skill. they acted their asses off in that scene and the only line of dialogue was an apology.

4. best demonstration of FK's chemistry

okay so for this one, i'll say every time they showed casual intimacy. i feel like it's so easy for them to ignore casual intimacy in shows, but especially as kantbison, fk showed so much of their chemistry in the little touches. they are a very physical couple and they are comfortable being in each other's embrace and it's beautiful to see that being portrayed. holding hands, worshiping each other's bodies, sniffing their hair, kissing their knuckles, just feeling each other close, that's when you felt they are actually each other's person, they are actually so into each other that even crawling under each other's skin wouldn't be enough.

5. best kiss (aesthetics + characterisation + emotion + context + whatever other criteria you choose!)

most beautiful kiss i always think about the smoke kiss in only friends just because the aesthetic of it was amazing. the build up to it was amazing, and hot and heavy with tension and it was so delicious. i scream every time they kiss for the first time in shows, but the smoke kiss left me with my jaw in the ground for several minutes.

alternatively, in thk, the beach kiss for how meaningful it was since it was their first kiss with no lies between them, and the swing kiss that was perfect, they were so into that kiss and it felt so earned, too. fk really knows how to kiss.

also, akkayan's bridge kiss in our skyy 2, never forget that kiss. they were into it and delivering like no one else. absolutely gorgeous.

and let's remember all the pecks, too, because i have a soft spot for all of them. kantbison, yet again, carrying it in the pecks department (did you guys notice that kantbison kissed every ep? it was amazing to see).

and i think this is it? i finally managed to answer everything. ngl, i answered your ask first before a couple others that are sitting on my inbox bc i feel you needed the pick me up and i love talking about firstkhao. this was very fun. thank you for sending me this, and i hope you feel better.

[crowbotss]

I forget if I already sent this ask or not but do you have a favorite Transformers dynamic between characters that you wish showed up more often in canon and/or in the fandom?

Hello anon! No, I do not recall getting any asks of the sort before, but thank you for asking nonetheless.

As for your question, I've two dynamics I absolutely crave, in fanon and canon. Number one of all time is my darling little shitstarter lambo twins!

First of all, why is it the case that, ever since the g1 cartoon and the comics, has Sunstreaker been completely left out of most canon transformer media? Sideswipe's popped up a good few times since (Armada, RiD2015, Bay movies), but they always leave Sunny out of it for whatever reason. They're a set and shouldn't be seperated :<

Maybe I'm biased because I'm a twin and a giant Sunstreaker fan, but I really wish hasbro would pick their whole dynamic back up in some mainline property (I don't even care if they're side characters, I'm desperate). They've charmed me ever since I watched the g1 cartoon, and I've always get so disappointed whenever I see Sideswipe somewhere without his brother (they don't even elude to him being somewhere off-screen or anything, he simply doesn't exist!).

As for fanon Sunny and Sides, I'm glad that fandom picks up some slack from all the lack of Sunnys, but I also feel like we could do with more Sunny&Sides-centric fanfics that aren't, ah, incest porn. Also, the commonly-referenced 'twin-bond' is very very interesting, along with their general backstory as gladiators in Kaon like Megatron. Combined with the mild consensus among fans that Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are some of the youngest Autobots, I feel like there's just so much you can do with these characters--but unfortunately, since they hardly show up in any official properties anymore, they aren't the most popular subject of fan-content.

EHEM, enough about my favorite condement-colored duo, my second pick for my favorite underrated dynamic is Starscream and Sunstorm.

I would love more of Sunstorm and. . . well, anyone (hasbro has a habit of fridging any gold-colored character that isn't Bumblebee, I assume), but I think his dynamic with Starscream would be the most interesting.

In most continuites he's in, he's a clone of Starscream, but also happens to act nothing like him most of the time (prolly due to a combination of being raised in a tube and subsisting himself primarily on religious delusions). Throw in an 'unwilling cloning experiment' spin on Starscream's part and I feel like we've got the ingredients for the world's most interesting family(ish) dynamic.

For this to even have a chance of coming to pass in canon though, hasbro would have to let Sunstorm out of the basement they locked him in and they'd have to let Starscream get within 100 feet of an interesting character arc, so chances are slim.

Fanon, however. . . the scant few media I can find focusing on Starscream and Sunstorm are always superb, but just like with Sunstreaker, I feel like there's always so little content with Sunstorm in it simply because people forget he exists, which is a shame. I love my strange radioactive catholic son.

Anyways, done rambling! Hope this answered your question fine enough.

Some underrated dynamic honorable mentions: Starscream & Optimus/Orion (In my heart of hearts I cannot let Starop go), Starscream & Prowl (I've read two [count em, two] very good fics with Prowl&Starscream interactions and they haven't left my brain since), and the Aerialbots & Stunticons (more media should focus on the fact that they're all newbuilds, for humor and/or angst purposes).

[kiwisleepy]

I am obsessed with your pressure oc she gives me mega brain worms like wow okay just make the perfect character alright okay

I also have an oc named Galatea so it really pleases me to see another character with the name because I love love love connecting similarities and also it's just a gorgeous name, how did you decide on it? For me personally it was because my Galatea is a pokemon oc that specializes in rock types and I couldn't give up the perfect opportunity of naming her after the myth of Pygmalion and Galatea.

Sorry if I'm rambling I just stumbled onto your account and your art and ideas are amazing I'm all over it and when I really like something I need to let the creator know!!!

So uh yeah you and your oc seem really really cool 👉👈

HAAIIIII THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR KIND WORDS, I'M NOT CRYING THIS IS JUST RAIN IN HADAL BLACKSITE

I named O-56 after Galatea from Identity v, since she used to be my main (I loved playing as hunters), and considering that her abilities include sculptures, most likely the creators also used this myth as a reference, plus I think this name is beautiful, why not use it? :D

And don't apologize, I'm always happy to chat in askboxes or DM, especially when people ask about my OCs.

Hope I answered on your question, and here's a little Galatea, I don't like answering a question without drawing the character people asking about!

[stateswscarlet]

hi scarlet! 💚 this may be a long ramble ask so I apologize. I am curious if at any point in your LOASS journey, you felt like you let the law interfere with your relationship with imagination in a negative way. I am somewhat of a maladaptive daydreamer, and something I struggled with for the longest was feeling frustration over the times in the past where I daydreamed/visualized about my desires and wondered why those daydreams never manifested. Instead of bothering LOA bloggers about it, I took your guys advice to heart and actually studied source materials. No need to quibble over those things any more, because I know the answers to my own questions now (I was not embodying my desired states/accepting my desires as a present fact in my imagination! I was just pretending). I’ve been very gentle with myself and have forgiven myself for the frustration. Something I’ve been telling myself is that I didn’t do anything wrong with myimaginal acts, that changing self and embodying the wish fulfilled doesn’t have to be a big production. That I can continue to imagine the way I always have, only this time with the inner knowing that my imaginal me is who I really am, and I think it is helping me a lot with shifting to my desired states.

something I’ve been doing that makes me VERY happy is referring to my inner man as the “inner lady.” I visualize my inner lady with all of the things that I want to have (health for my loved ones, financial stability, my desired appearance, etc.). And then I tell myself “My inner lady has it, which means I have it too!” And it genuinely makes me so happy that even if doubts and worries about the 3d come, I let them pass because nothing can stop who I am being in my imagination! My inner lady knows the relief, beauty and confidence that I have denied myself of feeling for so long.

I also finally understand what you guys mean when you say faith cannot be built or taught. Faith is a CHOICE. You CHOOSE to believe imagination is reality, you CHOOSE to be FAITHFUL to imagination regardless of what the 3D is reflecting. To be honest I still struggle a bit with faith, but the funny part is that I realize I have been seeing a LOT of success with the law and with simple things reflecting. Even when you experience the proof of the law there will still be moments of doubt! So faith, no matter what, will always be me choosing to believe in my imagination because even 3D proof of my successes doesn’t instantly wash away the doubts! A revelation that has also been helping me a lot is understanding that my imagination does not care about my 3D circumstances and will never deny me of the things I want to experience! I really can have it all in my mind. There are some big things that I hope will reflect soon in my reality. I hope to be back some time to share more of my successes and thoughts. Your blog and tweets have helped a lot with my journey. Thank you!

omg i read this twice this makes me so happy!! you are so so right and i am so proud of you!!

[nestinqomega]

how did you figure out you're an omega? did it just feel right?

i kind of answered this in my response to what being an omega feels like to me, but essentially yes ?? lol. for people who haven’t been like full on immersed in omegaverse discourse or read a lot of a/b/o, it’s very easy to let your perception of omegas fall into stereotypes, which was how i felt a bit at the beginning. since i’m not someone who’s dainty and fragile and gonna roll over and show my belly at any disagreement, i felt semi-connected to identifying as an omega. i was frustrated for a while because i would bee like “yes! that’s me!!!” about some stuff, but also “wait, that’s not me :(“ about other stuff, so it was confusing too. but when i started finding and engaging with people who actually understood the complexities of omegaverse identities (as all identities are), i started to really connect with it!

to be honest, for a while, i denied it/pushed it down because i felt embarrassed since i didn’t know it wasn’t just a “me” thing. i’d never heard of the misceverse/misce community; never heard of alterhumans, otherkins, or anything of the like; only heard of therians in passing, with no idea of any actual information about what it means to be therian; basically i thought feeling like i was an omega was weird and i shouldn’t talk about it because i shouldn’t feel like it.

lo and behold, i was very wrong !!! i’ve existed on tumblr for a while, but really only scrolled my feed and never really knew how to use use it, but thought “if there’s anywhere that has information and discussion about the omegaverse, it’s tumblr.”

so thankfully, i opened the app and actually started looking for stuff and engaging with other people and realized that i wasn’t alone, and it definitely isn’t anything to be embarrassed about!

this is all me rambling and not being able to shut up about anything, so i hope this mumbo jumbo (combined with the mumbo jumbo of the other ask-response i mentioned) helps answer your question !

[coolcattime]

what sort of characters do you find yourself enjoying in media? and do you take inspiration for your ocs, or do you like go a different route?

Oh this is such a good question for right now because I’m like currently in development stage of a new character for an upcoming D&D campaign!

With characters in media, is honestly a question that is broad as anything but I do tend to have recurring character tones I enjoy.

I’ve before discussed my love of “older sibling (typically brothers) who are portrayed as comedic characters but have extreme angst about their dead sister”. Which is by far the most specific tone I have here.

Example of this type of character: Skipper Redbeard (Mianite), Alice Yabusame (Your Turn to Die), Laios Touden (Dungeon Meshi), Jean Pierre Polnareff (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure)

Obviously, this could just be that I enjoy protective older siblings, but I weirdly think the comedy brings a certain aspect to it – idk.

Most of the rest of the characters I’m drawn to are on a kinda spectrum.

Of the top of my head:

Mean women. This can range from “Not really mean at all but still the meanest in the room” (Reko Yabusame, YTTD) to “This character isn’t all that mean but is kind of a bitch” (Emily, Until Dawn) to “Oh my god, she’s actually insane” (Ruraka Ando, Danganronpa 3 Anime). I think this is the catorgory where Capsize fits, probably between the levels of Reko and Emily (but tbh, Emily's level varies depending on how you treat her).

For guys, the above tends to be anime villain boys. Read Nagito Komaeda (Danganronpa 2), Shuntaro Chishiya (Alice in Borderlands), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom).

Chishiya, I want to particularly point out the manga portrayal as Six of Diamonds made me just fall in love with this character. I have a lot of problems with how the live actions handles some of the games and characters (like I would need the rest of the manga first but I might eventually compare the games in the series to the manga just to kinda highlight the differences and the missing games).

Then there’s the opposite end of just people trying their damn best – Kaede Akamatsu (Danganronpa V3), Seong Gi-hun (Squid Game).

Oh and then my autistic beans who I relate to Gin Ibushi (YTTD), River (To The Moon), and Himiko Yumeno (Danganronpa V3 – not canon like the others, but I think she has the vibes).

For if I use characters I like to inspire my OCs – yes 100%.

Most of my OCs are developed for TTRPGs, so I want a character I’m comfortable roleplaying and have concrete ideas of at least some of their opinions. Hence, a lot of my OCs start with another character as a base.

This isn’t always true. Medli, who is kinda my main girl, was developed over a lot of months and since she didn’t need to be real to play in a couple weeks, she developed in a way not based on another character.

However, most of my characters, I will be playing without warning so I build them off pre-existing characters, so I have a voice and a couple of opinions there.

To discuss process, because again I’m building a character right now so I can present this quite easily. Development begins typically by figuring out what’s the character vibe and working out how I wanna move forward.

The character I’m currently working on (gonna call them Suzume and Hibiki right now because those are my working names), are the first time I’ve build a D&D character in a way so, that is working out a vibe and if that vibe can fit into a class.

Suzume is being written for a distinctly evil campaign. DM (my wonderful friend Atlas who also created half the OCs in the OC verse) requested evil characters, but evil characters without any real power. So we could make a mob boss, but they would need to have been deposed if that makes sense.

So I started workshopping. My original idea was to make Jinx from Arcane, high energy, explosions, complex relationship with sister. But to be fully honestly, I could not build the character I wanted in D&D (I miss my beloved pathfinder 😭😭)

Then, back to the drawing board, I was like “hmm, I’ve always played the magic classes, I think I want to try a martial class for once.” And started looking at rogue subclasses. Then I started looking at Phantom Rogues and I started to develop an idea of a character that briefly appears very innocent then they open their mouth and they are so very clearly a murder who wants to kill people.

This was originally inspired by V3’s Kiyo – but I then begun discussing the character with Atlas who presented the idea of her being similar to Yuta from Jujutsu Kaisen 0 with a dead friend as their ghost companion and hence Suzume and Hibiki rather than just one character.

Now I had the basic vibes, I started putting together my character board and I will develop her out further from these inspirations (yes, it's a screenshot, it's saved as a TIF so I can keep adding to it, and screenshoting is quicker than saving another image):

Over time, my OCs tend to become their own things. Katherine and Capsize really aren’t similar anymore, neither are Libitina Puch and Emily Kaldwin. But Sigourney, who is still quite a new OC and overall not been used as much, is still very Reko coded.

The other way to develop OCs tends to be when Atlas and I discuss OC aus. I will sometimes throw characters in as a “Fuck it, they can fit” kinda thing and develop from there.

Taurus was originally just a genderbent version of Libra made to balance genders for our Danganronpa AU, then he became such a fucking bastard that he became a separate character altogether. (Fun fact: we have three OC danganronpa games planned, Taurus is the ONLY character who appears in all three that never makes it to the halfway point AND Logan – the man who exists basically just to be a rat bastard – is in that AU).

Rupert Delaney was put into our YTTD au basically to be Mishima’ed but then… no one got Mishima’ed and Rupert ended up developing a kinda darker edge in the lengths he’ll go to protect Katherine even if he’s still a good aligned character.

Then there’s Lance De La’Fleur. A character invaded purely for the Danganronpa AU as the Ultimate Pro Wrestler. Arguably, he hasn’t developed past that but when I say I love Lance and try to put him into every AU, I mean I love Lance and try to put him into every AU (and am so very often told no)

[just-null]

Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!

Mentioning an unfamiliar name

yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..

I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.

[stolenviolet]

ok ok i just stumbled upon your baby death au (and im feeling things idk what)... and just wanted to ask, what is voldy's relationship with harry here? not sure if i made sense but eh im curiousss-

You made perfect sense!

(And I hope they're good feelings? Maybe?)

As for their 'relationship' in this AU (my version anyway) well… let's just say it's complicated haha

To start, they basically just co-parent Death.

Obviously, they can't stand each other in the beginning. Being, y'know, enemies and what not, on top of navigating peace talks and treaties to end a war, isn't exactly a recipe for romance.

So yeah, nope! No butterflies in the stomach for these two (yet).

However, raising a kid together kind of forces them to adapt to one another, and that's when they start to notice the little things.

Harry notices Voldemort takes his tea straight in the mornings but prefers it a little on the sweeter side in the afternoon.

Voldemort notices Harry's love of flying and that he tends to get a bit antsy if he hasn't touched a broom in a while.

Harry notices Voldemort, while great at most things (his words not Harry's), is actually a pretty terrible cook.

Voldemort notices that Harry can only really sleep with the doors open or if there's another person in the room.(trauma from being locked alone in a cupboard, I'm sure.)

Both notice how, despite not having the best childhoods themselves, they ultimately want what's best for their son and tend to compromise on most things where he's concerned. (though this was incredibly difficult for Voldemort in particular to grasp. especially early on.)

Then came the lingering glances. The slight brushing of fingers when handing over a book. The casual teasing that leaves them both feeling bit warm.

Needless to say, eleven years of being domestic with someone, some type of affection was bound to take root and sprout. Not all at once, mind you. Voldemort is still, well…Voldemort, so there was quite a bit of emotional baggage to unpack (y'know the whole 'I killed your parents and tried to kill you' thing).

So it's not until their son leaves for his first year at Hogwarts, and they're truly left alone together for an extended period of time, that they both realize 'whoopsie! there might be more going on here than we thought!'.

Because now there's no lingering excuse of 'Well, clearly, we're only speaking/spending time with each other because Thomas is here'.

No. Now they both have to face the fact that something has been building between them.

And from there, things get a little, shall we say…romantic~

(kids out of the house, time for the parents to have some fun *wink*)

Long story short: Slow Burn, Enemies to...Co-parents? to Lovers.

[shkika]

W1 wombo combo Gabriel.

But on a more serious note, do V1 and V2 have differing opinions on anything? And if so, when interacting with someone, would they express both opinions equally?

They do have different opinions on some things yes! As long as they agree on how to act they are fine.

If you were to interact with W1 it’d be a terribly confusing experience. Which I love so much. They do not really care or try to make the way they work accessable to anyone outside their own head.

Inside of which VV1 constantly talks to itself. So you’d be met with mostly silence as it discussed you in detail in there. It’s very aloof and expresses contradicting opinions sometimes.

That’s because they are both quite lenient with what the other can do or say. So if V1 wants to say that rodents are fucking awesome. It will.

But then 10 minutes later you asked it what it’s favorite animal is, V2 could say that they don’t particularly care for any of them. Like at all.

And that’s fine. Both are correct.

If V1 wanted them to watch a rodent run around for 2 hours we’ll do that anyway.

VV1 can say it hates sitting still, but then you could observe it scanning books for a while.

If you had no idea it has 2 brain, W1 makes very little sense.

And W1 doesn’t care about making sense to anyone, because it’s simply happy to be itself.

[kacievvbbbb]

Hello there. I really do love the post and how you discussed about Yor and Anya’s bond and it’s importance but there’s something in your hashtags I feel misleading.

Yor is still the nurturer. Far more than Loid has ever been. She’s the one who comforts the entire family. And what do you mean by inversion of gender roles?

Hi! Thanks for the ask and the compliment! 😊🌸

And sorry about that my tags are usually just ramblings that I feel I can't explain well enough to include in the post so they are often my thoughts in their purest most half-formed half intelligible When I said Loid takes on the "nurturer" role I didn't mean to imply that Yor wasn't a nurturer she's the emotional backbone of the family of course often helping Loid see things in a way a child might see them or a family. she makes their family work. But what I meant is that she doesn't do things a traditional society would assign to the "nurturer" aka the woman in fact she often flounders in those roles Loid takes up the cooking, the shopping, he does some cleaning (even tho I believe they mentioned Yor mostly handles that as a balance) Loid is the one mostly in charge of Anya's schooling and general enrichment, he does the entertaining when they have guests. These are things that society would usually assign to the mother for all intents and purposes he manages the household, he's the "homemaker" and part of that is because he's a control freak and he's so desperate to make this work for the success of Operation Strix that he will happily fill in all of the spots that Yor cant and have her focus solely on being a "believable" mother to Anya. And we know this kind of gender stereotypes exist within the world because of Yor's friend's reactions to her inability to cook (I think they mentioned she'll never get a man or how did she get a man without these skills or some variation of the phrase) and we see it when the interviewer derides her for having her husband cook at the start of the show. So it is a subversion of the expected gender roles and it is a big enough worry that Yor has been shown to be scared that she will be reported to the secret police. so it is a deliberate gender subversion at that. now think of the role Yor plays in Anya's life, how she fits into it. Shes a symbol of strength and protection in a very physical sense this isn't a role usually ascribed to women and mothers especially in anime. It's a role usually given to a father. The person that you call when your in trouble, who you think is the strongest person in the world, who is your own personal hero. Think of Jiraya, Shanks, Nanami, Whitebeard, Roger etc. Yor fulfills all those roles for Anya. Yor is the one that any goes to for sports lessons, and advice on how to beat up bullies and its Yor that any first and foremost calls out for when shes in a tight spot. It's Yor that teaches her these lessons about strength and self belief and maybe shes not as gruff as the typical adopted anime dad but she fulfills the same role. Its not a mistake that when Loid is reassuring Yor on her skills at being a mother because Yor thinks shes doing terrible because she cant do all the stereotypical "mother" things. Loid tells her that her strength is enough.

he says this specifically after saying that all he remembers about his own mother was that she was strong too so why would he think Yor was the perfect mom? If through all the trauma and the pain loid has experienced the only thing he remembers about the life he used to live is that his mother was strong why wouldn't he want that for Anya? so yeah that's kind of what I mean by gender inversion. I dont know how much of this is intentional or if the mangaka is specifically doing this. but he's not outright subverting gender expectations but he is breaking them wide open examining them picking them apart and turning them on their head. Like look at the fact that its Yor that gets all the cool anime fights with the flashiness and pushing human abilities to the limit. Their fight scenes in code white showcase this especially. Yor fights the inhuman machine in this giant sprawling battle full of flash and hype while she performs superhuman deeds while Loids fight while very artisticly rendered and still fun is very basic hand to hand which makes sense for them Loid is a spy fighting is his last resort its about efficiency while Yor is an assassin she literally fights and kills for a living. The manga is not afraid to showcase to you at every turn that if Yor and Loid where to engage with straight fisticuffs Yor wins 10 times out of 10. And like now really think about the last time in a shonen especially a female protagonist fight had even near as much hype as even a secondary main male character never mind the male protagonist. And here Yor consistently has the most intense attractive fights we are waiting for her fights that's an inversion if I've ever seen it. Again I dont know how much of this is intentional and it is definitely way more complex than this and I am not calling any other anime mom weak or whatever but I just think about when I took a Classics class and we were on the section about greek heroines my professor mentioned how in greek mythology Greek heroes are marked by their ability to overcome (even when it ends in tragedy) while Greek heroines are marked by their ability to endure. And I think about that alot

Its all about how they managed to survive all the suffering they had been through and dont get me wrong the ability to endure is a great strength but it is a "passive" one and so is thereby assigned to women

[aliusfrater]

(TW incest, rape and SPN discourse) Feel free to ignore this ask if it makes you uncomfortable. But what’s your thoughts on the idea of Soulless Sam losing his inhibitions and so giving into his darkest desires, and sexually assaulting Dean (which is how the vampire turning scene is read). I often see this tied to the idea that because of the incestuous deal and Azazel’s blood, Sam’s tainted and has this inherent darkness, specifically playing around the idea Sam’s sexuality is dark and perverse, and he harbours these feelings towards Dean and desires to assault him but feels shame and guilt for it. But as Soulless Sam he doesn’t. This reading always felt a little weird and uncomfortable to me but I couldn’t put into words why

okay first and foremost, fundamentals: i'm always going to dislike interpretations of canon that involve anything adjacent to ideas that 'because of the incestuous deal and azazel's blood, sam's tainted and has this inherent darkness' because much of my own interpretation of canon surrounds the idea of breaking down the hunting dichotomy of monstrosity, us vs them/innocent or hunter vs monster that subscribes to the idea of 'inherent evil' or 'unknowable darkness' as the imaginary dichotomy that it is and sam as the original monstrous character of the narrative that represents both 1) the inherent falseness of said dichotomy and 2) how the structures (patriarchal, familial, hunting, abuse etc.) surrounding this dichotomy are fundamentally rotting and are, themselves, the perpetrators of power dynamics that promote the same violence they allege to want to put an end to through the motivations and actions of his character and characters who mirror him. to think of sam as having any kind of inherent monstrosity rather than as a victim to a (quadfold, because samuel, mary, and john were victims here as well) violation of autonomy, or even within the context of sam as a victim, is to uncritically subscribe to this false hunting dichotomy that gets disproven over and over again within canon with sam at the centre (then mirrored within other characters as well) of how this hunting ideal both initially crumbles but reinforces itself. to be frank, sam's motivations are pretty transparently laid out within the arcs that he uses his monstrosity as agency (seasons two, four, six and eight) and the exploration of his motivations and actions in conjunction with other characters ideas and ideals about him as well as how they clash/contrast is majorly important to the falseness of the dichotomy. the usage of the word 'tainted' especially tickles me—this perspective is so unsubtle about its roots in purity culture and how it connects to the us vs them dichotomy, 'us' as the innocent to be protected and the noble/righteous knight that does the protecting. i'm sorry but that's just dipping your toes in the same usamerican fascism that's evident in the show. unfortunately that's not picked up, i guess. anyway the uncritical subscription to this dichotomy also results in the same thought and emotional reaction criminalisation to abuse (in sam's case, largely perpetual autonomy violation) that the narrative utilises within dialogue or filmic/cinematographic techniques within attempts to attribute sam to some kind of unknowable evil that runs in stark contrast to what the same narrative portrays sam as reacting to and what his motivation and literal actions were within these agencies. the dichotomy of monstrosity is also, an entirely unsubtle yet unexplored mirroring of actual bigotry—sam's character easily becomes an allegory for queerness, for brown people (in the context of supernatural as post-9/11 usamerican reactionary media), for other people of colour, Othered people within specific corners of societies, etc. i'm always going to view sam's character from outside of this box.

second of all, 1) this idea sounds like it's coming from a place of interpreting the show through a perspective that intends on finding aspects of canon that align with an idea of sam and dean as a ship which is something i don't like doing because it often hinges on omitting singular explorations of characters and their respective relationships with people within the way that's explored within canon in favour of what is not a canonical relationship/a cononically explored aspect of a relationship. soulless!sam's sexuality and how it differs from sam's is just as canonically explored as sam's motivations about his letting dean get turned and manipulating him about it through a lack of information. the differences between soulless!sam and sam's ideas of their sexuality is so fundamentally different and contrasting due to the 'lacking in inhibitions' factor that it becomes part of soulless!sam's monstrosity which does amount to the deciding of his (functional) execution but the way in which it works is already laid out—it fundamentally includes an aspect of satisfaction that lines up with soulless!sam's Task To Be Conquered/Completed + Self Preservation view of the world and himself. there's the misogynistic aspect/belief of Getting The Girl and/or pleasing her as an accomplishment and, further, sex as pleasure, release, and/or convenience (6.03, 6.09, 6.13, and later mentioned in 7.19) regardless of the contextual relationship between sam and his sexual partner or even consideration for the partner themselves (outside of the sex of course). sam's idea of sex is loaded with both implications of autonomy and while there’s the aspect of what He (believes is his fault) Has Done, as the interpretation seems to imply wrt how it frames the way his shame and guilt complexes work¹, but because what's been done to him and the resulting fates of the people he's had sexual relationships with (sam does believe these deaths are completely his fault and they’re fundamental to his guilt and shame complexes). there's that fundamental difference. while soulless!sam and sam are aspects if the same identity, and have the same memories and abilities—their ideas of themselves, the world around them and their values are drastically changed by a fundamental difference within their metaphysical being—the literal lack of a soul—and it presents within their differences in agencies and where they prioritise those agencies. soulless!sam’s concern was less so his brother and more so the completion of The Job and therefore the usage of his brother as the opportunity presented itself became a viable option, which is something sam with a soul would not have, and is shown to not have (3.15), executed without dean's consent. i'm just checking but we all saw the scene happen, right? sam and dean were working together, they split up, sam got there as it was happening and didn't attempt to stop it.²

2) this interpretation is just also, plainly, inconsistent with sam's character and how he changes as soulless!sam. getting off tangent but i’m poking hole here: even within the assumption of the narrative's dichotomy of monstrosity and how it manifests within sam's sexuality, there's been no expressions of these factors of his sexuality within the actual arcs that related to the usage of his abilities within his agency. his relationship with ruby Could Have worked here if not only for the fact that it represents the further extension of azazel's deed as an autonomy violation within the abusive dynamics of their relationship, down to the fact that a) she raped him and b) twas without his being under the influence of demon blood as well as the idea that their abusive dynamics perpetuates, within sam's perspective, beyond filling dean's role within his life during his grief. if sam's 'darkness' is inherent i don't think the expression of it within his sexuality would only be evident within the singular instance of his monstrosity that is unrelated to the demon blood. further connecting the idea of sam's autonomy violation as a baby to the idea of an inherent monstrosity that manifests within his sexuality then within this same idea of applying azazel's blood as a childhood sexual assault allegory, victims of csa do not inherently inhibit a sexuality that is dark and perverse as a result of what had happened to them. anyway, soulless!sam has been seen to take initiative before both on his own behalf either personally or to serve a hunt (and will be seen doing so well past his time in 6.22) as well as in his sexual relationships; there's the idea presented here that sam wants to assault dean and that the evidence is within the fact that soulless!sam, who has less inhibition than sam, lets dean get assaulted by someone else through nonaction, which just isn't canonically consistent with how soulless!sam's agency works. i think that if sam truly and deeply had a desire to rape dean and he was within a position where he lacked the moral compass³, shame, and guilt that we're assuming is the rasson for which he has not with a soul, he would have quite literally done so or at the very least initiated it himself rather taking advantage of dean being turned into a vampire as it happened. in 6.05, soulless!sam didn't set that up, he didn't time anything perfectly just so that he could get his rocks off at... watching dean be metaphorically raped when he indeed really wanted to do that ?? ²he took advantage of the situation as it happened and his reaction ties back to the idea of dean's violation + The Job as a Task To Be Solved. supernatural is also a show that loves mirrored and foiled circumstances/characters; if there was an intent to explore soulless!sam’s character as harbouring those feelings about dean then i think that there would've been a circumstance directly or indirectly involving soulless!sam, or maybe even sam after his ressurection, that narratively mirrored dean's forceful ingesting of vampire blood as metaphorical rape that places sam within the role of the abuser. back to the point, i do think the boundary crossing aspect of sam literally watching it happen and using its result is the point and ultimately a part of the gothic horror framing of the show and their relationship, but i just don't think the aspect of it being what sam 'secretly desires' is canonically supported but it does comes from an incredibly shallow or straight up noncanon assessment of soulless!sam’s character, intentions, and motivations for the purpose of (and this circles back to point numero uno) placing him within a specific role within a shipping interpretation of sam and sam and dean's relationship despite them literally being laid out for you in the show both within dialogue and action.

the thing about this interpretation is that it could be really interesting to me, especially regarding the mention of azazel's deal as 'incestuous'. i'm generally a fan of interpreting azazel feeding sam his blood + other aspects of the way it's narratively framed both regarding the inital event as well as how it perpetuated through sam's life—especially regarding azazel and john as foiled patriarchs and how the existence of the dichotomy of monstrosity within the hunting as existing synonymously with the winchester familial dynamic and how what hunting meant to sam within his childhood and how that itself is also framed by the narrative—as child sexual assault and the idea of sam allowing dean to have his own autonomy violated, despite not making the decision himself but ultimately indeed weaponsing his nonaction and omitting information (another instance that breaks the dichotomy btw. dean is a victim and he is still quite simply treated as dean both to be saved and as the saviour (which i'm not mentioning to negate him as a victim but the framing of his monstrosity is important to me)—in stark contrast, sam's identity is compartmentalised into the monstrous soulless!sam vs the sammy that needs to be saved, which is exactly what the interpretation you've described also does) could have been seen as a perpetuation of the abuse he was subjected to, much like how ruby herself as a perpetuation of azazel's autonomy violation and much of her relationship with sam runs concurrently with how sam's relationship with azazel worked—granted that dean is cured by the end of the episode and sam does admit to using dean's violation for the job one episode later. the thing is though that this perspective isn't particularly canon compliant either because, again, we're already privy to sam's what motivations were in 6.05 both in terms of knowing how soulless!sam's ideas of other people have changed with his lack of a soul + how his agency works as well as his literal confession lining up with how the audience knows his agency works.

i don't really know else to convey my ideas without just eventually regurgitating the episode in words.

there's also a hint of an uncritical adoption of dean's and the narrative's dean skew perspective in here somewhere that i can't put my finger on. like the attribution of sam's— the monstrous body—sexuality as something inherently Wrong and inherently having ill intent is very much how sam's sexual endeavours are treated by characters within the show that subscribes to the dichotomy of monstrosity, namely dean, as well as audience members who uncritically adopt his perspective + attribute it to sam's 'inherent (unknowable potential) darkness' (ultimately false ideology ->) despite the linear and canonical events including surrounding sam's character exploration. there's also that aspect of dean's rational canonical distrust of sam that translates into ³dean's re-assumption of authority over sam's autonomy that starts out as a teamwork effort while hunting but quickly snowballs (and soulless!sam lets him until it presents as a threat to his self-preservation)

as well as the careless yet somehow popular audience attribution of dean's facade to sam in an attempt to understand sam's character. there's the application of sam' soullessness outwards and onto aspects of sam's character that are crucial when he Does have a soul and the assumption that soulless!sam is what sam is 'truly like' when despite the obvious missing metaphysical factor that is a lack of a soul. there are other examples of characters without souls on the show and it's very easy to acknowledge how it might change a person. quite frankly i think it's kind of funny that they had sam be the most inherently capable soulless person on the show because even he channeled his 'lack of inhibition' into surefire agency rather than descending into a version of himself completely without agency. tbh the more i think about this answer, the more it becomes that thing where through applying an understanding of dean's character and how dean's character supposedly works to aspects of sam's character, and certain factors, his motivations in particular, are attributed to other factors of his characteristics unfaithfully, thereby flipping the roles of their relationship and woobifying the version of dean that's actually presented to us. like this perspective of sam is impossible to unravel because they have the ingredients but they're putting them together with the wrong combinations.

just quite fundamentally, this version of samdean just isn't canonically compliant which is like fine and cool and fun. if subscribing to the dichotomy of monstrosity within your interpretation of samdean as a ship makes you hard then go right ahead <3 but the pretense of canon compliance is what really irks me as usual

¹hilariously i've never seen this one in a samdean interpretation before. an uncritical adoption of sam's own guilt and shame complexes ?? usually people have the ability to see right through these even if it's not all the way to how dean affects it lol

[unreal-unearthed]

https://www.tumblr.com/bangelism/762929927623507968 when did they prove it? /gen not looking for trouble lol 🙏

reference for everyone: post being referred to read "i sleep so well knowing buffy and angel are canon soulmates."

sure! i can go into a into a lot of evidence as to why i think this, but i’ll just point out some of the key things that stand out to me. (fair warning, i can ramble about them for a long time so... apologies...)

first of all, i think it's important to establish what a soulmate is. i understand everyone may have their own perspective on what this means, but to me, a soulmate is a deep mutual love (romantic or platonic) and thus, an intense connection between two souls. soulmates understand and accept each other, help each other grow, support one another, and of course, love each other.

so using that as a reference, here is why i believe buffy and angel are soulmates, and how the shows canon supports that:

1] their lives mirror each other. even when they're apart, buffy and angel's stories continue to mirror and parallel one another. a great example of this is connor and dawn. both buffy and angel had these (different) roles of caregiver thrust onto them unexpectedly, but find themselves in these new roles they've been given. angel as a single dad, buffy as a sister and dawn's primary caregiver after joyce passes; both go through ups and downs in this journey, but the audience sees they wouldn't trade it for the world. then, they lose them through a portal, both fall to the ground instantly and shortly or immediately after fall into a catatonic state. this is not the only example of their lives mirroring each other, but i think it's one of the more profound, easy to see ones, that changes their lives and perspectives forever.

(screenshot of a beautiful gifset by @charmedslayer)

2] the continual references to one another throughout the series. buffy and angel often reference how much their relationship meant to each other, post breakup, either through actual words or actions/subtle references. a very important buffy quote outlines this really well: “i loved him more than i will ever love anything in this life.” to me this shows this is a relationship more important than any other, one they cannot simply just "move on" from. it changed them fundamentally, and has stuck with them no matter what.

3] they help each other grow. without buffy, angel would have never gotten out of that alleyway. that is just fact. buffy gave angel a purpose. even when they are apart, even when she is dead, it is keeping that purpose she gave him alive that animates him. they both made each other stronger and better people. this is seen all throughout their relationship and beyond; from the little pep talks they give each other, the way they train and fight side by side, the way they give purpose to each others missions.

screenshot of a gifset that shows this perfectly by @buffysummers

4] their emotional connection. whilst in a relationship, we see angel being buffy's emotional confidant on numerous occasions and vice versa. they give each other new perspective (also another example of how they help each other grow), like in 'ted' (btvs 2x11). angel is the only person in that episode to listen to buffy's complaints, acknowledge them, but then gently offer her a different perspective; maybe her mother is simply, lonely. even post breakup, in 'forever' (btvs 5x17), angel is the one person she fully confides in about her grief. they are able to be fully vulnerable with one another, both emotionally and physically. protecting each other in both ways and fighting many both physical and mental battles “shoulder to shoulder" even when they're apart.

5] they accept one another. 'what's my line' (2x9-10) shows this the best, as well as expands on how they can be fully vulnerable with each other. first emotionally - angel listens to and acknowledges buffy's frustrations about career week, and supports her through that (feelings that are dismissed by everyone else around her), encouraging her to talk about her feelings. then, in accepting both her 'slayer' and 'buffy' persona as one, asks her on an ice-skating date to learn more about the buffy he never knew, accepting even the parts of her people might disregard. then, we see buffy accept both aspects of angel; his vampiric and human side, when she kisses his vampire face and is one of the only people throughout the shows canon that accepts these two sides of angel, represented by his 'true' face. then physically - when buffy is worried about her safety she goes to angel's apartment, curls up in his bed, just a space that reminds her of him is enough to make her feel safer. and then angel is rescued by her at the end of the episode. she cradles him in her arms, and we see him clearly and physically relax in her embrace.

—

i fear i could go on, and on, and then on a little more. but that's just a little taste of my perspective on why i believe the canon supports the idea that buffy and angel are soulmates. …let alone all the shared dreams, countless parallels (even more meta ones like how their theme songs reflect each other) and then the love they have for each other which is stated time and time again.

[breadandlottery]

Hi so I wanted to ask about your Gihun/Inho analysis post if that’s ok? Curious if you don’t see Inho as the antagonist as it says in the last bit he’s adversary but not antagonist? Sorry if this will not make sense English is not my first!

Your English is great, don’t apologize! This is an excellent question, anon, and something that I’ve thought a bunch about. Sorry I’m about to ramble a bit here.

So. From an in-universe Watsonian perspective, I think sure, In-ho/Frontman can be viewed as an antagonist, especially in season 2. He’s the one that our hero is trying to get to, the one that he faces off with, etc.

From an outside Doylist perspective (in my opinion) he’s definitely not capital "T" The villain or The antagonist.

So there's this concept called the myth of meritocracy or the meritocratic illusion, that argues that in capitalist systems, the ability of those on the lower rungs of the social/economic ladder to move up or jump to a higher social class based on merit is not attainable for most people. This myth benefits the ruling class in several ways:

it implies that they have earned their place at the top.

it upholds the belief that those that are struggling economically are in that position due to their own failures and not because the ruling class is exploiting their labor and hoarding resources.

it gives people the illusion of opportunity if they just "work hard enough", which pushes people to devote their labor and resources to the system, ultimately benefitting the ruling class more than themselves.

it sows division among those not in the ruling class, and gives people permission to look down on anyone lower than themselves as lazy, unworthy, etc.

Given the benefits of upholding the myth, the ruling class propagandizes. In order for the propaganda to work and maintain the myth, some people from the lower rungs do need to move up, so the ruling class can tokenize them, and say “Look, it IS possible”, and so those that move up, even a little, pledge loyalty to the ruling class and help maintain the myth.

That’s what happened with In-ho (and the recruiter to a lesser extent), and In-ho was a prime candidate for tokenizing for two reasons:

He was in law enforcement. Without going all acab on here, law enforcement generally exists to maintain the assets and safety of the wealthy, even though those who work in law enforcement are not from a wealthy background. (If you hear cops call “class traitors” or the like, this is why)

His financial trouble was a result of his wife’s illness. Even though he himself was in the same predicament as the players he calls trash, he really believes that he is better than them, because he didn’t gamble away his money or go into debt because he was lazy, stupid, unemployed, etc. This is because he believes in the meritocracy, but believes that his circumstance was different and special and unfair and everyone else's was their own fault.

So In-ho believes the myth, and he upholds the myth and the oppressive system that perpetuates it. BUT, sadly, so do many many many people who are suffering under the same system. He’s ultimately a victim of capitalism, just like the other players, the guards, the recruiter, basically everyone who is *working* and not *watching*.

From out here in the Doylist world, none of those characters are the antagonists except the game creators and the VIP/game watchers.

I believe Gi-hun understands this-- this is what he meant in telling the recruiter that he is nothing more than their dog. So if he learns how In-ho became the Frontman, he'll see that In-ho is the same. Maybe the top dog, but still a dog.

This is also why I think In-ho will have some kind of, if not redemption, at least tragic epiphany, where he realizes that the way he's justified his actions and touted the "fairness" of the games is all bullshit, and that he's ultimately no better than the people he called horses and human trash. I want an Inspector Javert soliloquy from him, to be honest. Some redemption would be nice because I like him as a character and would want that for him, and the subplot with his brother kind of sets up the opportunity for him to sacrifice himself… but we’ll see.

(I’ve considered that this perspective on the antagonists could be taken even further to make the argument that those in the ruling class are ALSO just victims of the system, and the system itself is the antagonist that we need to overcome, but I honestly don’t have coherent thoughts on that, it’s kind of a nebulous idea to me that *feels* like it might be correct but I don’t have the words/knowledge to go into depth.)

Anyway yeah sorry for the dissertation, I think this is such a great question and something I thought A LOT about after watching season 2 for the second time. It has actually pushed me to be a lot more cognizant of this concept in the real world as well (and given the current climate in the US right now it’s been VERY hard to see some of the opposition as victims of the system and not villains… but I am trying because I believe that’s the only path to a better system).