#this is such a dumb post but it’s funny TO ME

[thequasarwinds]

UGH THATS A LONG ONE

When I was little I’ve always wanted to be a YouTuber! (Which I am now btw! Tho I haven’t posted in like three years)

So I racked my head over what my username would be

I was always a fan of wolves and I was a HUGE space nerd- I was particularly fond of how the word “Quasar” sounded so I went with that! (I also just found them kind of cool)

so I name myself “QuasarWolf” and it just stuck

but then YEARS later I was creating an alt account for myself. I didn’t just want to be “QuasarWolf Alt” and I was a fan of names involving cardinal directions at the time so I named it “TheSouthernWinds”. Though I’m not particularly fond of the cardinal direction south tho so I wasn’t always too happy with it (I live in the US so I just sort of associate the south with being rather hot and dry or humid- and I HATE the heat)

At some point I figured that “QuasarWolf” sounded a little dumb and renamed myself “TheQuasarWinds” through combining my old name with my alt’s

I then renamed my Alt Accounts name to “Almost_Penelope” Which has pretty straight forward story behind it

I was almost named Penelope (my mother was always a big fan of Greek Mythology)

but then a last minute decision influenced by an..aunt I believe? Had me not being named that

I changed it recently to Almost_Penelope- as this was around the time I had JUST gotten into Epic and I found it funny. (Epic) Penelope is so great tho, I definitely do NOT deserve to share her name

there’s more to it and more I could say but that’s basically it!

@bleedinghearthypocrit SORRY FOR THE @ IVE ALWAYS JUST BEEN SUPER CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR USERNAME HERE

USERNAME LORE GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU ALL

[djevelbl]

The end to the story. whatever happens, I guess it happened — I have hopes, idk where they're placed or what they mean, but I have them.

Whatever happens, I know Evbo is going out with a bang.

[sturn777]

HEYYYYY!! CAN U PLS WRITE SMTH AB DEALER READER SEEINF FB CHRIS POST W ANOTHER GIRL?? AND SHE DOESNT RLLY HAVE A RIGHT TO BE MAD CAUSE THEYVE JS BEEN HOOKING UP FOR A WHILE, BUT SHE STILL IS. AND HES ALL CHILL AB IT AND ITS PISSING HER OF.

dealer!reader getting jealous . | ( female!reader ) wc ?? ( library ) + ( request )

lana's note : hi anon 🤍 !! hope i did ur ask justice <3 currently going thru all reqs and trying to cook smth up !

꒰ა " you claim you know me better than i know myself, you're right . " ໒꒱

you’re lying on chris’ bed, scrolling mindlessly through instagram as the faint scent of weed drifts through the cracked window. he’s next to you, leaning back against the headboard, blunt between his fingers, looking like every bad decision you’ve ever made wrapped up in a hoodie and sweatpants.

you weren’t planning to scroll, but the glow of your phone and boredom got the best of you. that’s when you see it—a post from him, a mirror selfie with some girl hanging off his shoulder, with her silky hair and her too-perfect nails tracing along his hoodie like she owns him. the caption? some dumb, cocky line about the “night being young.”

you don’t even realize your jaw is tightening until chris shifts beside you, his voice cutting through the haze. “yo, what’s up with you?” you glance at him, then back at your phone, a sharp scoff escaping your lips. “nothing. just funny how some people don’t know how to act.”

he raises an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement. “oh, we throwing shade now? that about me, ma?”

“who else would it be about?” you snap back, shoving your phone onto the bed and crossing your arms. your bratty tone doesn’t even phase him—it never does. chris takes a long drag from the blunt, exhaling a slow stream of smoke, his eyes narrowing just slightly. “so, what, you mad ‘cause I posted a pic? girl’s just a friend. ain’t that deep.”

you roll your eyes dramatically, turning away from him like you’re above this conversation. “please. i don’t care. do what you want.” he laughs, low and rough, leaning over to pluck your phone off the bed and wave it in your face. “nah, you definitely care. look at you, all pouty and shit. cute.”

“you’re insufferable,” you mutter, grabbing for your phone, but he pulls it out of reach, smirking like he’s enjoying every second of this. “yeah, but you like it,” he shoots back, his free hand trailing lazily over your thigh. “c’mon, ma. don’t get all worked up. i’m right here, ain’t i?”

you glare at him, but his hand keeps moving, brushing against the hem of your shorts, his fingers warm and deliberate. god, he’s so cocky, so annoyingly laid back, but he knows exactly what he’s doing. “still mad?” he murmurs, his voice dropping lower, his lips brushing against your jaw as his hand slides higher.

you hate how easily he gets under your skin, how he can flip the script with just a touch. “you’re so full of yourself,” you whisper, but your breath hitches as his mouth finds your neck, leaving a trail of heat behind.

“maybe,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice smug as his hands tug you closer, “but you’re still here, ain’t you?”

and just like that, he’s got you again, tangled up in him, forgetting all about the stupid post and the stupid girl because right now, it’s just him and you, and that’s all that matters.

taglist : ( @emely9274 ; @bluestriips ; @loveparqdise ; @flouqissss ; @st4rcs ; @starwebber9 )

[tactical-jellyfish]

Tf 141 with an s/o who loves fiber arts!

Word count= roughly 1,750

Warnings: No! Just fluff with the lads :) Enjoy (but inly if you wanna)!!!

Kyle, who really never thought that knitting would be this hard, considering how much you raved about it keeping you both calm and properly stimulated. Now, he sits by your side on the living room floor, shakily holding two bamboo needles in his hands and trying to hold the "working yarn" (the yarn attached to the ball, apparently) the right way as you tenderly lecture him for being a dunce. "No, baby, you need to get through the stitch first before you yarn over-" Your voice is so pretty like that, trying to steer him from making another weird-looking hole for no real reason, but Kyle just whines again as you take the swatch into your own hands, finish off the whole row like some magic creature of the yarn and thread.

"You said that this was supposed to be easy, luvie." He whines into the crook of your neck, having loosely wound himself around your side as you showed him exactly what to do for the fourth time this hour. Some part of him loves the unfailing tenderness, the softness of your voice and the way you poorly hide the fact that you're laughing at him under your breath. "Sorry, i just thought-" There's a snort from your lips as giggles envelop you, your smile turns wide. Kyle's heart melts a little in his chest "I just thought you'd be better at this-"

Kyle gasps in mock offense, before pushing the needles to the floor, already planning his revenge for that little slight. "Say that one more time, and I'll give yer little magic sticks to my nieces and tell 'em they're swords." He revels in the shocked gasp you give, and grins as you bat him upside the head. "Hah, funny man. Try." Your voice is quieter, a little bit more dangerous, just daring him to do that very thing. Kyle saves his own ass by pecking your cheek, gently taking your hands into his own. "I wouldn't, babes, you know I wouldn't." There's not a modicum of lie in that statement. Kyle knows that the sweetest ones are the most terrifying, and his mum would never let him hear the end of it if he lost you. "Yeah, I do know you wouldn't, jus' wanted to mess with you." It's Kyle's turn to gasp now, but he smiles when you kiss his cheek in return, leans into you like a lapdog despite himself. Tonight's going to be good, and he knows it.

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Johnny, who remarkably managed very, very well with embroidery. You had been so happy to see him, posted on the couch next to you, working away at the hoop, having only very few questions on how he should hold the thing, if the tension you kept talking about was a little bit off. For an hour, maybe two, it was lovely. Simple silence as you leaned up on his shoulder, working a larger project as the Scot figured out exactly what he was doing on his own. Deft hands, you watched him pick apart the small knots in the thread without issue. It flooded your heart with pride. "Are you finally going to let me see the thing, Johnny?" You questioned playfully, trying to straighten your spine to get a peek before there's a big hand shoved over your eyes, and a thick accent chiding you for your gall. "No!" He squawks, you just know that he relishes in not letting you see, riling you up through your own curiosity, because Johnny is, at his core, a cheeky little shit. "Ye gotta wait, mo leannan, ye cannae jus' peek like that!" It draws a grumble from your lips, but you close your eyes, gently take hold of his wrist in your hand and nod, giving a softer affirmation before he coos at you. "Don' worry, it's almost done anyway." He soothes you with a soft peck to your temple, and just like that, you're calm again, all heart-eyed and dumb with love, relaxed. It's another thirty minutes before the finished product is tenderly set into your lap, and you gasp in surprise before seeing it. It's... stupid. An old sketch of his that really had amused him all too much, one of you from a picture at a night out (you had tripped on a root and he managed to get a picture of your face mid-fall) that he had always seemed too damn enamored with. "Oh my god." You press your hand to your face in shame, already feeling ridiculous before Johnny laughs brightly, pressed a firm, wet kiss to your cheek. "You look lovely! Don't ye? I think you look lovely." It's a sweet sentiment, enough to endear you to the terrible, terrible thing that your fiancé has chosen to immortalize and drive a too-fond sigh from your lips. "You're lucky that I love you." You grumble, giving Johnny a half-hearted glare before he swoops in to sweetly kiss your lips, because he really does know you too well. "Aye, I really am" He doesn't miss a beat, still grinning like an idiot. It makes your chest soften, your guts go mushy and fluttery. "Don't be coy, MacTavish." You reprimand. He grins, and kisses you again for good measure.

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Simon, who really didn't think this would be necessary, but here he is, sitting next to you cross-legged on the floor with the hook in hand. "Like this, right?" He speaks gruffly, and loosens his posture for you to peek over his shoulder. He feels the ghost (pun intended) of a smile pulling up at his lips when he hears your affirmative hum. "Yeah. You're doing real good, honey," Your voice wafts into his ear so nicely, floods his mind so deliciously, the only person that Simon knew he would always listen to, his angel right here on Earth. "Out of curiosity, have you ever done this before?" When you finish your question, Simon does let that smile grow on his face, lets the warmth flood into the cavity of his chest, seep into the crevices of his soul, heal the damage bit by bit. Simon leans his head on yours, and takes in a breath. The truth was, he had. One night, after a particular date when you had entirely infodumped a current project to him, he had done a little research. Then, promptly after, learned to crochet, even if it was only the basics. It paid off now, with you on his arm and impressed with his skill. "Nah. Maybe I'm just good at this, hm?" He denies that, shuffles his cheek closer into yours, soaking up the warmth that you radiate, relishes in the soft chuckle that you give. "Mmh, maybe you're gonna be even better than me, is that your plan?" Your teasing is soft, given out of affection. It makes Simon smile, makes him relieved that he's once again managed to make sure that a date went well. "No. Just pick things up fast." The mood really is dead in the water, but Simon really loves that you seem to thrive in that, that you still peck his cheek anyway despite him practically having negative game. "Smartass." You chirp at him, setting down your own piece on the floor before wholesale resting your head on Simon's shoulder. He fights a chuckle. "Better than being a dumbass, isn't it?" The joke wasn't his (he stole it from Johnny), but when you laughed, Simon knew it was well worth it anyway.

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John, who was more than content to help you work on another big project of yours. He was endlessly proud of you, how wonderfully you worked on those commissions and how perfect they always looked when you finally shipped them off. But disaster always strikes at one time or another, and the cat is often the cause of that. After maybe an hour of soothing his panicking partner, John had you wrapped up in a blanket in the corner of your own office, gently taking the needle into his own hands to sew the small tear in the fabric back together as you sniffled a little bit. Were you more than skilled enough to fix this issue yourself? Yes. But John felt particularly loving lately, wanted to make sure that his lovely, hyper-competent partner knew that they could rely on him. Because they always could. When he speaks, its gently, glancing up from the fabric in his hands to look into your eyes, still a little bit bloodshot from the tears. "Don't worry yourself, sweetheart. My mother didn't raise a man who doesn't know how to do repairs." The comfort was genuine, both an assurance of his skill and a statement that you could just lay back, let him take the reins for once and allow you to calm down a little bit. "But-" you sniffle, wipe at your nose with a tissue, and John doesn't allow you to question this. "Nope. None of that self-doubt, yer therapist already said that's bad, didn't she?" You nod, John watches your cheeks flush a bit simply because he remembered, that he cared enough to stow that away in the back corners of his brain. Oh, if only you knew how much he adores you, your little heart would blow up. "I can't just let you do my work for me, John, that's not right." The small rebuttal makes him pause in the middle of a stitch, gently set the needle down. His darling had the morals of a saint, why was he surprised by that? "Who said that I was doing your work? Maybe I'm just your guest of honor, sweetness." John speaks softly, shoots you a cocky grin that finally brings a smile back onto your face. "Yeah, yeah, alright," He smiles as you stand, wraps a strong arm around your midsection as you tuck yourself into his side, calming all of the way back down, turning back into the wonderful, sweet, bordering perfect partner returning to form once more. "That means that you have to sign it, too, you know." You tease in return as John nervously swallows, knowing damn well he is hopeless to ever replicate the pure beauty that is your signature on professional pieces. "Well, I'm not so sure about that-" He uselessly stutters to the joke, feeling his own cheeks heat up more than a little bit at the invitation. "Oh, don't be like that, I could teach you." Now that makes Price melt.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Would you tell POC that vent their frustrations about white people that they're being hateful?

Yes actually. I would. Unless it was a joke. In which case I wouldn't care. But if I were to take a gander, you'd have issues about white people complaining about literally anyone else. That kind of talking is funny to me and always has been because it means that you actually have a white supremacist view of the world. You are just to jaded and stupid to realize that you do.

Which is to say that you should be justified in criticizing an entire race. Or an entire sex. You fully believe that men are the superior sex and that whites are the superior race. You'll say you don't. But you do. It's just that you believe that it IS the case and needs to be overturned. But in saying that you still admit you view non whites and women as lesser. As I fully expect. Because you're a marxist at the end of the day. Though I doubt you are even smart enough to realize that yourself. I could be wrong though. Maybe you are a marxist willingingly.

I'm guessing you're a man who's never experienced misogyny in your life

So this is kind of a dumb statement. If I am a man, and regardless of if, of course I can't experience misogyny. However if I am a man I can experience Misandry. Which is still discrimination based on sex. Which you are ignorant to it seems. To be treated like a rapist purely for existing. To be treated like a predator purely for existing. To be treated like a pedophile purely for existing. To be treated like a murderer purely for existing. To have all access to mental health and domestic violence cut off. Because of people like you no less.

Why do you always act like women aren't oppressed

Because in most of the Western world they aren't. I could post a list of the richest people on earth or just in the US and among the top of that list, from the 80's until now, there would be a huge number of them. Not just rich, but self sustaining. I've never once in my life said, "there are no areas in the world where women are oppressed". I have never said that once. However, in the western world, oppression is not something you see often. Because truth of the matter? You probably have no idea what real oppression looks like.

People often don't recognize misogyny as oppression because of how normalized it is.

Criticism isn't misogyny. And having complaints against a person voiding discussions of their sex as a relevant factor in the complaint ISN'T misogyny. Misogyny contrary to the FEMINIST definition, was originally "Hate or discrimination against a woman based on her sex". Not the bullshit expanded definition where literally anything and everything under the sun qualifies.

And lastly. I stand by my point that Radfems treating women like infants that can't make decisions for themselves is FAR more sexist than most of the actual sexism I've seen in my own life from others.

I don't think I'll continue to argue with you. Seems like there's no point. Marxist never listen and think their worldview is godlaw.

[tumbleweedsthesecond]

Tophvan post yayy... I wanna explain why I ship it or whatever. Why its silly to me or like how I view their dynamic or whatever. This is gonna cringe so probably ignore this if you don't like tophvan I'm not trying to say its like the best ship in the world or they have a great dynamic or whatever I just wanna explain how I view them. This will probably sound delusional but yk whatever. Cringe and free I guess. Here's some old art

Basically me going on their interactions sorta kinda plus my own headcanons.

Okay so hc wise I've always kind of imagined they wouldn't get along in some way. For obvious reasons, Topher tries too hard and Ivan doesn't try at all. So obviously Topher would at least try to seem like he didn't know him s1 and I don't think he does really know him s1 I feel like they would've followed each other on Flipflop(gah I hate saying that) and Topher just didn't care to block him because he only has two followers and doesn't want to lose one. Anyway I think with s3 I imagine the bleacher creatures met during summer school mayhaps because they all failed gym or math or something? That's my hc on it. I think they do seem close? At least good friends I think that jackée Ivan and Topher are the three main(vlad and lizzie I still loveee but its harder to get a read on them they don't talk much) anyway I don't think that Ivan and Topher would immediately get along obviously Topher let loose more because he's happier with his friends but still I don't think its perfect obv. so going to actually get into the analysis now I yap so much

Cringe part

I think that based off lines of dialogue like "its a fuck no from me" "a simple no would've been fine Ivan" that Topher kinda keeps him grounded at least a little bit???? Ivan doesnt seem to retaliate I think he does sort of view Topher as the leader in a way. Because Topher talks the most and tbh he does seem a little bit bossy. There's also that one time that I immediately think of when I think tophvan the part where he looks over at Topher as if to see if its approved or not before he agrees with jackée.

Like hes like 'is this funny? ' though it could be because he doesn't listen to jackée because female and he's a dumb teenage boy(throws tomatoes at him) I still think that its funny cause he doesn't even look at all the guys in the group to approve it first he just looks at Topher. you can tell by the animation

Anyway before that I think these two do talk more off screen Ivan looks at him when the others don't (even in other scenes though I don't really think that's a big deal imo) okay full headcanon time I think Ivan knows about tophers supposed crush on joan. I don't think Ivan likes Joan but I think he was like "give it a shot because Topher or whatever 🙄😒' but I also feel like he had a bet that she wouldn't be any help. Don't get me wrong I do think ivans dumb obviously but I also do think he just doesn't like Joan. He doesn't full on hate her or anything just don't think he completely trusted her. He does trust her in the vip room thing he thought that was coll but he is also the first to say she ditched us straight up. Ivans very blunt

We are standing in a closet!

Past that I think they do get closer or whatever afterwards. Kind of. We see them in the shower but I kind of ignore that episode and scene altogether so. That's not rlly a big thing I think abt so anyway

Dumb thing incoming I think its also like the way they look at each other or whatever. Like. whatever dude. I think they'd be kind of sweet or whatever. I don't know. Idiots who caresbro.

Overall I think Topher is a complete idiot too like obviously that one scene where he gets bitten by the snake and jackée says to suck the poison out and Ivan sucks the snake because he's a stupid stupid idiot. Dumb. Tophers stupid too very stupid but that's why I think they're fun together.

Forgot abt that scene where they highfive Topher laughs at ivans dumb jokes. They highfive. (I think Topher laughs way too hard at it like we get it bro. You think its funny. I would say it kinda sounds like forced like haha you're so funnyyy but that's probably a bit of a stretch 😔😔😔💔💔)Edit: I think he genuinely finds that stuff funny cause he's so stupid like bone high is not that funny he just has dumb humor. Anyway another hc I have Topher does like his jokes alot and at first I van laughs along with him but then Topher laughs too much so Ivan just like stares at him

Akso the thing where he sees Topher as the leader of the group I don't think that's too serious or anything I think its just like okay ill listen to you sometimes they're still a dumb high school friend group.

ALSO THIS ISNT ME TRYING TO BE LIKE ITS BETTER THSN OTHER SHIPS OR THAT "OH THRY HAVE SO MUCH DYNAMIC" they're background characters basically I just want to point out some canon stuff! Its fine if you don't ship them who cares anyway if anyone has any tophvan hcs please comment them I love seeing tophvan stuff!!!

Also I love all the bleacher creatures I'm ocifying them too.....sorry to single out the ship I just wanted to explain stuff

Also is this reaching? Probably but they're two characters with low screen time so. Shrugs

[bbqhooligan]

giggling cuz I just saw that Drake is trying to sue over Not Like Us, saying it was because of the bots. how dumb could he be. the entire internet was clowning on him for months. Brands, sports teams, entirely unrelated corners of the internet. It was catchy as all hell. I need to go relisten now to reexperience how funny Not Like Us was. he's just refreshing it for so many of us

hes so fuckin stupid its fascinating. like im sick of talking about how evil he is, knowing hes not getting anything close to the consequences he actually deserves, but besides his legitimately bad character hes also so fuckin stupid.

like EVERYONE knew from the day it dawned on us he lost the biggest beef very embarrassingly, that all he had to do was to lie low and wait till it faded out of the immediate public attention and just come back with "good*" party music. EVERY reactor advised him the same thing, me and the anons here lamented the fact that he could just do that and be relatively fine. but hes addicted to pissing and pooping his pants in public idk.

i think kendrick is done with him though. i feel like hes going pretty parallel to my "Kendrick Is A Professor Explaining His Thesis" post and hes pretty much done with the example of drake. he'll have his fun abt how that all went down and laugh abt how he telegraphed BOTH his own moves and his opponents moves in Euphoria, but his focus shifted to the bigger game and lecturing the viewer on hiphop as an art form, and as a culture. so curious to see how he moves from here.

*no drake music has ever been good tbh, depending on the criteria of course.

[trialnumbergamma]

I was thinking about Aerith and cloud's relationship and how direct Aerith is in her expressing interest when I had the realization . . .ZACK

like in the nibleheim flash back in the beginning of rebirth you know that scene where "Cloud" is like "his mom's name is jenova and theres a sign in the reactor that says jenova and sephiroths acting weird i just dont get it" like zack bby I love you but i'm getting the vibe that you have a -2 perception (im not calling him dumb intelligence and incite are different)

what I'm saying is do you think when Zack and Aerith were first talking do you think Aerith was more subtle about her interest at first but over time had to get more direct with him til zack was like "ohhhhh so you do like me" and so the time cloud came around aerith was probably like "hmm I'm getting a zack vibe lemme lay it on thick"

EDIT: forgot crisis core exists, I have not played crisis core yet, I will post this anyway because I like to think this is funny and I do what I want

[sscrambledmeggss]

my literature class is incredibly tiny (there’s only seven people. the professor spent like all of winter break thinking it would be canceled), so what i’m trying to insinuate is: i hope we don’t turn into a tiny pretentious cult and push one of our friends off a cliff during a accidentally snowy day

[jellyjamheadobb]

[liquidstar]

genuinely this is the funniest joke in the series so far to me

[cloudysarts]

this is what the book of bill was about right

(og image under the cut)

[telanadasvhenan]

This was funnier in my head

[spikeplate]

sorry i was thinking about love death + rollerskates again

[doctorwhommm]

torchwood youtube (GAY BOSS?!?)

[courtmartialme]

woag .. otp