#just something that has been popping up in my therapy lately lmao

[robogart]

I've just had a bad memory my whole life lmao it's fine! Definitely Not A Symptom Of An Underlying Mental Illness And Childhood Coping Mechanisms 😎👍✨

[melobin]

i do believe you all followed me because of writing sorry you have to deal with the deeply mentally ill girl that comes with it.. slight rant in tags ? i guess ? ily all anyhow

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HAIIIII ARIII:33333 i am here with a silly little question hehehee which of your blorbos do you think would get along the best???? i immediately thought of suguru and laios honestly..... (also something something abt suguru eating curses and laios eating monsters something something) but i just really do think they'd really like each other!!!!!! sugu would listen to him ramble abt monsters with a faint little smile, his head resting on his palm:3333

but alsoooo would satoru like maomao and jinshi?? i think actually know them but i just.... have a feeling that he would!!! they all seem so cute and silly hehehehee

this question popped into my head when i thought abt putting toji and dazai in a room together btw😭😭 poor toji i think he would NOTTT like dazai at all😭😭😭😭😭 my kitty cats are fighting.... HEHEHEHE ANYWAYYY ILYYY I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELLL MY LOVE!!!!!! MWAHMWAH MWAHH!!!! - @teddybeartoji

HAI HAIIIIII MICKEY :3333 i’m picking you up and spinning you around btw <3333333 WHAT A FUN QUESTION AAAAA ……

OK BUT . LAIOS/SUGU IS SO BIGBRAINED. I AGREE SO MUCH. you reminded me of this one fanart owwllly made of them lmao ….. i treasure it soooooo dearly laios is so silly . I REALLY DO THINK THEY’D GET ALONG. they’re both sweeties :((( and sugu is such a good listener…….. laios would probably find him really dependable too. AND. HEAR ME OUT….. i just really really feel like laios would try to eat one of suguru’s curses 💀 and i think that would unironically bring them closer together. idk i’m just always thinking about suguru and how alone he felt simply become no one else could comprehend how awful they taste…. only for mr golden retriever himbo man to walk into his life and WILLINGLY eat them. sniffle. they could be so wholesome :(((((((

AND THEN . SATORU AND JINMAO 🥺🥺🥺 wahhhhh what a cute crossover….. HERE’S THE THING. i do Not think jinshi would like his ass ‼️‼️ maybe gojo would find him cute in an older brother kinda way . but they’re just. so similar. jinshi is basically just cult leader geto and teen toru mashed together. i think gojo would piss him off so much 😭 BUT MAOMAO….. well. she would definitely find gojo annoying too!!! but i think he’d like her soooo much :3 that’s his daughter actually. he’d just find her funny. two little meowmeows <3333

….. then we have toji and dazai 😭😭😭 PJDPDJDKDJDJ. MICKEY I CRIEDDDD THEY WOULD BE SO FUCKING FUNNY….. i remember seeing a tiktok once where . a guy did a filter thing that gave him four different characters to go to therapy with . he got toji + dazai + two other sickos and someone commented ”you know it’s bad when toji is the most mentally stable person in the room” 💀💀💀 I JUST THINK IT’S SO FUNNY…. toji would be so weirded out by him lmao . BUTTT in my heart and soul dazai is a dilfhunter so ik he’d try to seduce toji <3333 would he succeed? no . but i respect the attempt!!!!!! i think they could learn to get along…. for you…….. (the good ending would be toji realizing dazai reminds him of you and being like 😐😐😐 i guess i HAVE to tolerate you.)

BUT . to actually . answer your question……… one blorbo crossover pairing i’ve been thinking of a lot lately is :333 satoru . and kazui (from milgram)……. every time i say that kissing a dilf could fix gojo i’m talking about Him btw. they’re just. so similar!!! the big difference is their confidence i think…. ik you aren’t aquainted w this blorbo but. kazui is just… a very tired very guilty liar of a man. constantly putting up a front. has a very low opinion of himself but is actually very kind….. :((((((( i love him so much. and i think gojo and him would see through each other’s respective masks, you know?? in that sense maybe kazui would be a little freaked out but . i think they could find some comfort in it too!!! i just really need them to be friends…..

ANYWAYYYYY tysm for the lovely question my lovely mickey <33333 I LOVE YOUUUU i hope you’re having a nice day……. i hope you’re watching lots of movies and enjoying your free time…… me and dazai and toji r covering you in kisses mwah mwah mwahhhh <33333

[achilleslefttoe]

HIIII JWCT FOLLOW UP (spoilers incoming) brooklynn: I'm kinda like, not like in shock that she's dead. but it's like 'oh... shit. she's like actually dead.' everyone kinda had their flashbacks with her, mine was either us riding our motorcycles together between we are THOSE girls, or us talking about my uncle's company that I took over when I turned 18 (or something like that, idk how that works but the point is I'm the CEO now) she had a feeling something was up w/ the dinos and I told her what I could. over all I'm heartbroken over my girly pop

yaz: so like, I don't really get to see her cause when they went to pick her up I was with darius and kenji. we don't really have a chance to talk cause when we DO see each other we're like kinda getting attacked. but yaz and I definitely still talk after getting off the island, we bond over our leg injuries lmao (I can probably go into detail about that another time. also fuck toro.) and our trauma

sammy: me and Sammy definitely talk, it was kinda upsetting to see her trying to keep herself so busy because she was so stressed over her family and yaz... but we were in the house together when the raptors got there. anyways Sammy and I are buddies fr, her and Ben bond over gf problems, i'll explain that later

darius: just like everyone else, I haven't really heard from darius since everything started going down, I'm kinda sorta aware of the issue between him and kenji cause yk he's my brother fr, but anyways I end up with him and kenji to talk to his dad who I'm actually terrified of, not much to say cause he's been distant but during the show we talk, I try to support him cause I know how kenji can be when holding a grudge, but also HIM AND KENJI ARGUING WAS STRESSING ME OUT LWK

kenji: still my brother fr, I begged him to let me at least get him an apartment but he insisted on building himself and his business up on his own. (I also beg him to let me pay for his therapy, he says no) kenji and I are close, I'm the only one who consistently hears from him, he tells me about his brooklyn issues (before her death) I tell him about my en issues, we also both equally hate his father, I play mediator between him and darius like the whole time

ben: we... are complicated. as mentioned before, we were together late CC and after, but at the start of CT we aren't. we broke up because ben started checking in less and less with his paranoia and throwing his phone away, we talk occasionally over like email or something or like Skype but not a lot, especially not for the things we've been through together and how close we are (or I thought we were) he tells me about his theories that he has no basis for and we end up breaking up, it just wasn't working. so there's tension between us like the whole first season, it kinda clears up but we're not like fully chill, the way this turns actually turns out in my Dr HEAVILY depends on if his "girlfriend" is real or not (and how important she is to the plot) extras:

mr kon: bro was kinda blackmailing me back in CC season 5. he claimed to have something on my uncle that would ruin his reputation completely and bro is dead so there's really no coming back, so I helped in season 5 mostly because I had no clue what he knew or just how bad it was. (though I am debating on changing that and having him know something about my parents instead because they died when I was like 7 and I don't want my image of them to be ruined, not to me and not to the public) but I was also like 15 at the time so this was deeply harmful and I never really stopped thinking about what he could've known and now I'm like kinda horrified to ever be face to face with him again. but anyways, when we get to his half way house, he pulls out that leverage again as expected. im shaking in my boots then he fucking dies. so woo!

raptor lady: I'm lowkey thinking of making us some kinda parallel. like we're both vaguely off-putting people who have really really deep connections with a pack of dinosaurs. her and her raptors then me and my dilophosaurus (which I swear I will make a post about eventually) we both respond (or in my case, responded) to someone above us, they likely are not the reasoning for our connection with our dinos but they profit off of it somehow.

anyways. thanks for reading me info dumping, lemme know if you wanna hear more about anything else or have suggestions

JWCC Dr Buddies

ok so i love my Camp C dr to death and wanna talk about all my buddies

Brooklyn: so brooklyn and i generally get along, she gets on my nerves sometimes but i try to be nice about it. we also bond over not really knowing what actual high school is like. we’re both rich wildcards when it comes to skills. i may or may not have learned how to pick a lock from her youtube channel-

Yas: we also somewhat get along, we liked quietly drawing together before the whole indo thing. we bond over talking shit honestly. i forgot where but i keep seeing a lot of hcs saying she speaks arabic because of her family and i speak hindi cause of mine in my dr (i can go into that in a later post) so we end up teaching each other bits and pieces of the languages for the silly funnies

Sammy: sammy is the sweetest person ever and i love her for it. i knew she was lying about the meat supply thing immediately but i let it go cause i liked her, when the reveal come out i wasn’t shocked but i tried to be super supportive cause id do anything for my family as well. during the scorpius rex thing, i ran off to my cabin (another thing i can go into another time) to acquire some pain meds for her and extra bandages. i did get attacked and i might’ve passed out when i got back but it was worth it for my bestie

Darius: if i’m being so fr, we like info dumping about dinosaurs together and he loves hearing about what it’s like to live on the island. i actually wrote the storyline of and helped code the video game that Darius beat for his ticket to camp. he’s my little bro frfr. i do replace him in a lot of scenes because i needed some parallels.

Kenji: we’ve known each other forever. the year we’re in camp is like the 8th year of our friendship. we met when we were little since we both spent so much time on the island, his dad and my uncle were busy so they stuck us together. he’s a bit older than me but we end up really really close. when we were young we’d get into all types of trouble together and it stayed the same as we got older. we like to tease and make fun of each other all the time. we have a very sibling like relationship and after the island we wanted to stick together. after the show, he stays with me and Claire who gets custody over me after my uncles death. but when she goes back for he island during Fallen Kingdom, Kenji is in college and ends up staying near the Bowmans.

Ben: Last but definitely not least, my silly boy-o. our relationship is interesting. when we first met in camp our relationship was based on him wanting to be protected and me needing to feel needed. so we pretty much stuck together all the time, we liked being together and it was beneficial for both of us in some way. then when he fell, we both grew like a lot. i stopped being so reckless and started to be cautious and asking myself “what would ben do?” then he came back and he didn’t need protection. and that kinda freaked me out cause yk trauma. then we have this stupid argument and we make ups nd everything is good again!! we’re besties and we’re stronger than ever. then we start catching feelings for each other. my emotionally unavailable ass rejects him at first, terrified. then after a while we get even closer and i feel ready to take chance. ALSO I USED TO BE TALLER THAN HIM AND THEN SUDDENLY IN CHAOS THEORY HIS ASS IS TOWERING OVER ME??? LIKE WHAT.

also jwcc height hcs

[sneezefiction]

soft shiratorizawa sleepover

Shiratorizawa x Reader - Sleepover Headcanons

request: “Hi can I request having a sleepover with Shiratorizawa?”

a/n: classic Gracie move, here. ultra fluffed up, on a Friday evening. please enjoy some soft, sleepover moments with our faves, Ushijima, Tendou, Semi, Goshiki, Shirabu, Reon, and Yamagata. 

warnings: none!

wc: 930

soft sleepovers - karasuno edition

---

you’ve been unofficially managing/supervising the Shiratorizawa team over the past couple months

but with their strict schedule and the fact that you joined them a bit late into their volleyball season, it’s been hard to actually get to know them

luckily, you and Tendou hit it off instantly, his curiosity gravitating toward the novelty of having a team manager

after expressing your wish to get to know the team better, the idea for a sleepover popped up in a playful convo between you and Tendou

i mean, you were definitely joking about it, but apparently Tendou had already presented the idea to Ushijima

and Ushi was totally chill with it??

he felt like you would manage the team better if you could see how everyone functioned outside of a high-pressure game

also i’m almost entirely positive that half of this team has never had a real sleepover

like, sure, they’ve spent the night together while away for practices games and tournaments, but they’ve never had one for the purpose of “hanging out” with each other

the team is surprised to hear that you’ll be joining them, but they’re genuinely excited to learn about you

lmao they might even be sort of intimidated esp since most of them are fr socially awkward

so be ready to actually get to know these boys, bc they’re all weird af

ps everyone will be invading Goshiki’s home for this wild, overnight endeavor

you arrive slightly late, but you’re welcomed with sounds of howling laughter and vibrant discussions that seem to be spiraling into loud arguments

Semi has Shirabu in some kind of headlock, wrestling him to the floor for being too pretentious

Tendou is already in his sleeping bag, but he’s not actually lying down... he’s hopping around in it

and Ushijima looks like he’s supervising the entire team, while still holding a glint of humor behind his gaze, enjoying the goofiness of his teammates outside of a gym for once

when they spot you at the doorway, your pillows and items in hand, everyone goes silent

and then Tendou rushes toward you, crashing headfirst into your body after losing balance in his absurdly heavy sleeping bag

you’re pretty much stuck under him, so Reon and Ushi have to lift Tendou off of you before Semi can give you a hand up

you thank Semi and turn to Tendou with a playful scowl on your face, his own cat-like grin is spreading the width of his cheeks

before he can react, you’ve smashed a pillow right into his head, leaving him slightly dizzy as he throws his pillow toward you… but it misses

...landing straight into Ushijima’s gorgeously sculpted face

everyone is too shocked by this to realize that Ushi has already picked up a pillow and aimed it at poor Goshiki

the power in Ushi’s pillow throw literally knocks him off his feet

yikes

don’t get me wrong, Ushijima doesn’t really get the concept of a “pillow fight,” but he’s willing to try anything at least once to understand it

this starts a full-send pillow war:

It’s you, Semi, Goshiki, and Yamagata VS Tendou, Ushijima, Shirabu, and Reon

and lemme tell you, IT IS BRUTAL.

you learn quickly about their inner team rivalries and the team’s extensively colorful language

this ends with lots of sweat, several bruises, and countless bursts of excited laughter

but when the game and adrenaline highs wear off, you’re all left lying on the floor

they all recover pretty quickly, but most of the 3rd years realize just how worn out you are from the amount of effort you just exerted

Semi flicks you in the side of your head and asks you some personal questions, but really the whole group is listening in, 

“Y/n, why’d you choose to help our team out? I’m sure you have a lot going on outside of all of this.”

you’re taken aback, having to process your answer… because truthfully friends weren’t easy to come by these days

you’d been searching for an opportunity to find community and be apart of something… and this management position seemed to be an open door to it

“You’d be surprised by my social life, Semi.” you say through a laugh, but it doesn’t sound funny

you’re amazed by the understanding faces surrounding you, some nodding, other just staring without judgment

because they could all relate

LITERALLY this short convo turns into a really sweet discussion about fears and problems, with some venting mixed in

It’s mostly you, Goshiki, Tendou, and Semi speaking, but in the end, everyone shares a little piece of their life with the group

which is all so weird for everyone on the team, but somehow your presence was the perfect set up for a Group Therapy Sleepover Session™ 

by the end of the night, you’re the one advising and listening to them, which is such a cozy turn of events

like, your heart is full & they’re actively being invested in by your sweet self

several of them (Ushijima, Semi, and Goshiki) fall asleep to the soothing sound of your voice

you just make them so comfortable

and as much as they should be the ones protecting you, you’re the one making them feel safe and put together

honestly, while i’d like to think that Shiratorizawa is always so cool and calm, i think they need hugs and softness too

sure, they’re tough and they get all of that intensity and energy out on the court 

but now that the team knows they have an outlet to get things off their chest and out into the airspace, they don’t want to lose it

and that’s when the bi-monthly, non-volleyball related Shiratorizawa sleepovers become mandatory

it’s pretty much the ultimate mental health booster and it gets wilder every time

so, you indeed get to know the boys well <3

—-

soft team sleepover series

soft karasuno sleepover

soft seijoh sleepover

soft nekoma sleepover

soft fukurodani sleepover (in progress)

—-

tags: @yams046, @cherryonigiri

(comment or send an ask to be added to my general tag list) 

[jaeger-soul]

Hiii! It’s music anon lol If you created playlists for me, I’d faint LOL Porcelain tat sounds so cool ✨ ! A oneshot based on “Don’t Miss Me” omg I’d read it asap, I’ve read all your fanfic stuff 😊✨ Totally ready for the punk suggestions and can’t believe I have never heard ANY of these songs before! Honestly I’ve been under a rock all this time! I’m not used to anyone suggesting music I like, but every song you pick literally rocks. Even today, I woke up with “All To Myself” stuck my head 😂

sorry it took me a hot sec to reply to this message - it's been a crazy few days

i'll definitely create you some playlists. i need to find my login information for spotify cause fuck if i remember it but when i do, i'll make you something

i need to think some more about Don't Miss Me before I write anything based on it - it'll probably be danny phantom and let's face, you know it'll be dash and danny lmao

yeah i mean i don't think you've necessarily been under a rock, it's just that my taste is immaculate and unmatched lmao

i listen to both punk and pop punk and honestly, i forget which is technically classified as which these days so... here are some general punk/pop-punk recs:

i miss you by blink-182 (arguably one of the greatest songs of the early 2000s)

little things - good charlotte (this is just straight up classic GC music and it holds up today)

high school never ends - bowling for soup (again, just an amazing pop punk anthem. i listen to this one a lot when writing high school scenes lmao)

predictable - good charlotte (it's hard not to just recommend their entire discography cause i grew up on their shit my man. i listened to this a lot during the early days of writing stay - and it still holds up eighteen years later)

therapy - all time low (listen, my friend. this is the shit. you think you've heard good music? it doesn't hold a candle to this shit right here. i've lost count of the amount of times i've like cry-screamed to this one. it's so fucking good. not everyone vibes with it so i won't be offended if you don't but holy shit it's so good)

weightless - all time low (this one's great, too. definitely one of those ones to scream in your car)

dear maria, count me in - all time low (i can't rec all time low and not rec this one - it's their crowning jewel)

late nights in my car - real friends (bruuuhhh, no words. so good)

me first - real friends (the pure angst in this one is immaculate)

from the outside - real friends (peak of their career tbh)

passing through a screen door - the wonder years (this one gets into the angry side of punk music so i completely get it if this isn't for you. it's a fine line to walk for sure but man is this my theme song. i've also used it as a title for a chapter of stay)

came out swinging - the wonder years (this one. screaming in your car. trying to figure out your life in a single night - holy god, it's perfect)

my last semester - the wonder years (you want to talk angst? this is great angst. i feel this shit in my soul)

there's a lot more punk music i listen to but that's what i can remember off the top of my head. and it's a good start to the world of punk and pop-punk music

honestly i'd recommend anything by the wonder years or good charlotte. i'm a little more choosy with the other bands i've linked above but they've all got good stuff

quick note about real friends - from 2011 to 2018, they released a handful of EP's and full albums with the lead singer Dan Lambton - all of which were amazing and angsty and generally a fun ride. in early 2020, Real Friends announced that Dan was exiting the band, no animosity between any of the band mates, it was just time for Dan to go in a different direction (i have thoughts about this lmao)

in 2021, Real Friends began releasing music with a new lead singer, Cody Muraro. Cody is a great vocalist and their songs are still incredible lyrically. But it's a different sound.

Not just because Dan's no longer the lead vocalist but their sound has shifted. They're less punk, a little more pop - i feel like they're trying to stay punk, it's just not as strong as when Dan was with them.

I don't hate their new music but it doesn't give me that same gut punch that their old stuff does. so i recommend anything by real friends from 2018 and before - and after 2018, i'm a lot more choosy about which songs i like

anyway. now that the essay about real friends is over with lmao, i'll leave you to enjoy these punk/pop-punk gems that i listen to on the regular

i'll make you a playlist sometime soon so definitely keep me updated on what you like so i can make you the ultimate jaeger playlist

[rollingthunderpouringrain]

💙⁉️Spring asks game⁉️💙

I want to send you most of those asks lol (of the ones which I don't already know the answer to <3)

I'll restrain myself though so let's go with:

Blossom

Daisy

Favorites (I know you must have lots ;) so let's go with the favs that pop first to ur mind)

Flowers

Money

Music

Pride

Thrill

You

🌹🌼🌻🌺🌾💐

Oooh thank you! <3

Let's see...

Blossom - what’s your favorite flower?

I like sunflowers very much. But I also love geranium flowers, especially (and I had to look it up, lol) purple Pelargonium zonale XD

Daisy - do you have any pets? If not, do you want any?

I myself don't have any pets right now but my family does. A dog and a cat are living with at my parent's house (they belong to two of my siblings tho, actually). My youngest sister also has a pet hamster :D And we've had two budgies in the past. I've had three pet rats when I was a kid and also a rabbit. And my sister also had several fish. May they rest in peace <3 :(

Favorites - what’s your favorite show, movie, and book?

lol you're right I have lots. The first ones that popped into my head were: SPN, LOTR 1 and The Belgariad Saga (David Eddings).

Flowers - what’s the nicest thing someone has surprised you with?

There's several things I guess. The first two things that I thought of were:

- in 2020 (I think?) I had not seen my family for several months due to the pandemic and that was rather unusual for me, especially since I was still struggling because of a breakup. I was minding my own business and playing a game on my computer, texting with two of my siblings, missing them. They asked me if I wanted to do some online gaming together later. I told them yes instead of going to bed and a lil while later I received a photo of my own terrace and backdoor and my siblings were there, chilling outside XD they visited me in the middle of the night (I live a few cities away from them) and it was amazing I almost cried and it gave me lots of serotonin :') <3

- my sibling @thequeerlibrarian gave me a ps4 for no reason at all, just because I was missing one (I was used to having one but...breakup lmao) and was on the fence in regards to buying one 😂😂😂

Money - what would you do with your life if money was no object?

Oh man... I think I would like to still have a structured daily life and I like getting something in return for a task done XD Like, some kind of reward. Tbh. But I would love to..idk...just..do my hobbies...read, write, watch TV shows, do lots of gaming, travel lots, build a house with and for all my friends and the family members that wanna live with me. Publish stuff.

Music - what’s been on repeat lately?

Rockstar Skinny by The Real Zebos (it's on my Roman Roy playlist)

Missed Connection by The Head and The Heart

Pride  - what is something you’re proud of?

That I started therapy last year.

Thrill - what is one thing you’re looking forward to?

Seeing my family (don't know when but hopefully soon...), but also: doing some theater stuff again after two years of almost nothing. Mainly because of the people and because I know it will do me some good socially wise.

You - what’s one thing you like about yourself? One thing you dislike about yourself?

I like that I'm empathic. I dislike that I'm too fearful.

Thank you ❣️

Hope, you're well :)

💐 Spring Asks 💐

[minetteenfers]

Note for fanfic updates like Adrien August specifically(Note that I just posted on it)

Summary: Updates will be slow because I’m suffering from really bad flare ups that haven’t let me chill for 5 days now and counting. Read below if you want more details LMAO

Hello! How are you all?

I debated whether to use talk to speech to write this note and then decided that I would just type it. Sigh. haha Some of you may know, because I don't hide it and feel like a broken record I'm sorry, I struggle with Fibromyalgia/PCOS/IBS/Anxiety/Depression. It would be easier to research Fibro than for me to explain it. XD It's different for everyone. Some have it worse than others. Some have it better. There are good and bad days and bad days are called flare ups. There is no cure for Fibromyalgia. It is also one of the invisible chronic illnesses. This means that when doctors look at me on a level of testing, there is nothing seemingly wrong with me but clearly there is. lol I have elevated inflammation, but otherwise on a medical level... I seem healthy and fine. However, that is not the case.

Fibromyalgia I got diagnosed with at this year? I don't even know. I've been suffering from it for months... or more without realizing it. Basically... on my worse days... I will be coughing, my sinuses will swell in my face and all over, my joints will swell and pop (all of them), muscles will pop and go weak and will spasm, pattern lights (flickering strobing... patterns...) will make my brain act weird. I will have times where I feel like I'm listing on a ship on the ocean and will have to grab walls to balance, I will double up words... like 'I went went the store' instead of 'I went to the store'. I will write one word and mean another. I can't multitask or drive. The only time I can drive is if I've driven there enough to know my way there by muscle memory. I will drop cups and things... my wrists and fingers will swell and stiffen, making it hard to write. I will not be able to coherently talk sometimes and speak slow due to exhaustion. I will randomly get so tired I HAVE to lay down or sleep. I suffer from chronic migraines and from grinding my teeth in my sleep. I have moments where I hobble everywhere and have to stop walking because either my legs give out or go numb. Hands and feet tingle, shoulders, back of my neck... stuff goes numb or hurts. I sneeze or cough and will hurt my ribs, sternum, or back and have pulled my hip flexor sneezing THREE TIMES. lol

There are three medications, physical therapy, my brain is blanking. That's part of it too... Sometimes I forget what words I want or what I'm saying and I blank out. lol Mental therapy (I normally know the word beside therapist and psychologist and psychiatrist lol) and other things you can do for it... but I can't take medications due to being sensitive to almost all of them. I can't afford to do the rest. I can "walk" and I can rest. LMAO That's it.

I am saying all of this because not being able to stand or crouch for ages, not being able to lift heavy things... sometimes not being able to stir a meal I'm cooking or cut something lol.... not being able to focus... makes it near impossible for me to work a normal job like I used to. It's frustrating not being able to do what I used to be able to do. It's frustrating to feel like I need help and I'm stubborn as all hell about it. LMAO But I just laugh it off as much as I can when I drop something or can't do something randomly.

A friend of mine that suffers from chronic illness told me to never let myself sink and be proud and celebrate the little accomplishments. She also sent me the Spoon Theory to help others, who don't suffer from a chronic illness to better understand chronic illness.

I am saying all this because Adrien August is going to be releasing and updating really slow because these past five days (yes, sadly I've been counting) have been complete utter Hell for me. My fingers hurt typing this, my body hurts from my neck down to my lower back and it is tingling and numb. I'm exhausted. I'm frustrated. I feel like a burden to people in my life. I'm full of anxiety and depression to the point I have not been sleeping well and I've just wanted to cry for no reason other than feeling like my ability to control my emotions is hanging on a thin thread. LOL I'm struggling with my left leg when I walk the last few days. I'm just realizing I need to slow down for the next few days. I'll be reblogging with @chimpukampu and @lalunaoscura but this fic will be moving slow. Not too slow... but I'm trying not to push myself. I probably forgot some symptoms tbh because there are so many of them. XD

Anyway, I'm sorry that I am slow at updating lately. It's because I've been focused on other things and then this flare up has lasted longer than any so far and it's absolute murder. lol I'm usually a super positive person but lately this has been kicking my ass hard. XD I thank all my amazing friends for letting me vent and for lifting me up. I thank my husband for putting up with me and my frustration at myself that I am projecting outward, which I feel so guilty for. XD I just need to realize when I can't do something... it's okay, because it is okay. It's okay to need help. I don't know how many damn times I've written that in a fanfic, LMAO!!!!! but it's true! It's okay. It'll be okay. It'll get better. I got this! I had it before... I can get it again! LMAO

Sorry to be a downer and I hope you all are having a wonderful night or day where ever you are and thank you for all of the support! Seriously!

[lyssismagical]

8 and 59 iron dad?

“Do you hate me?” & “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” 

(This one kinda got away from me idk how it happened but this ended up being 3k lmao) 

Tony was grieving. That’s all it was.

Peter repeated it to himself over and over again, all day everyday, to convince himself it wasn’t actually his fault that Tony kept lashing out at him.

It wasn’t easy to feel like an intruder in what was meant to be his home, but it wasn’t Tony’s fault. He was grieving, that was all.

It had been four months since Pepper died doing the snap to win that battle.

Tony was grieving the loss of his wife. His best friend. The mother of his child. The one who’s stood by his side for decades.

The lashing out, the anger, the cold shoulder, it was fair. Tony was grieving.

If Peter felt hurt by any of it, he refused to show it. He would hold his chin high and meet every emotion with meek apologies and offerings of anything he could think of.

Peter had been living in the cabin for all four months, taking care of Morgan by himself while her dad was more or less MIA, in the throes of guilt and grief and anguish. Happy and May were grieving in the city, picking up her life. Rhodey was busy with work, helping rebuild the broken world.

It was down to Peter to take care of the five-year-old and her grieving father.

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t taking it’s toll on him.

He hadn’t slept well for as long as he could remember. He was trying to catch up in the missing five years, dealing with the nightmares and the obvious signs of PTSD after back-to-back wars he fought in, not to mention trying to stay on top of his school work at Midtown without actually going to school, and trying to keep tabs on everyone he cares about without them worrying about him.

It wasn’t easy work, that alone. But he’s also being a parent by himself.

It’s tiring. He’s a kid too, but he has to continue growing up too fast for everyone around him.

“Petey okay?” Morgan asks, crawling onto the couch next to him.

He blinks back the sleep that tries to take over his vision and forces himself up into a sitting position. “Yeah, I’m good, Momo, just a little tired. You want breakfast?”

“Pancakes!” she exclaims, hopping up onto her feet again. “With chocolate chips! And juice pops!”

Peter smiles and drags himself to his feet again. He slept for maybe an hour, trying to finish his reading for English along with all the projects he has to complete before midterms.

He gets Morgan situated at the table with a coloring book while he makes a batch of pancakes for them, setting aside a few for Tony.

“I’ll be right back down, alright?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Eat up and then go get dressed, alright? I’ve gotta drive you to the city in a few hours for your appointment with Miss Sarah.”

Thankfully, he got his driver’s license before the snap, so he can take her to her therapy sessions in the city three times a week, along with play dates, birthday parties, grocery shopping, and everything else Peter has to remember.

Morgan obediently shoves another piece of pancake in her mouth and grins up at him.

Tony’s room is dim, only the warm lamp light filling the room.

“I brought you breakfast and a coffee,” Peter murmurs, settling them down on the nightstand. Some days, Tony’s better at pretending for Morgan’s sake at being okay. Today’s not one of those days.

He opens the thick curtains and pushes the window open, letting in some spring air, before cautiously touching Tony’s shoulder. He’s awake but unresponsive.

“Mister Stark?” Peter tries. He grabs the coffee off the nightstand and offers it out to Tony.

But his foot catches on the edge of the bed and the coffee spills over the white sheets.

The reaction is instant.

“Fucking hell, Parker!” Tony shouts, shoving the sheets off his legs to avoid burning his skin. “Had to go fuck this up too?”

“Mister Stark, I was just- I was just trying to help,” Peter says, caving into himself as he tries to clean up the coffee with his own sweater sleeves. It burns at his skin, but he doesn’t stop, movements panicky and shaking.

Tony shoves at his hands, getting to his feet. “Haven’t you done enough?”

Peter would’ve preferred it to be screamed at him, to be grabbed and shaken, to be punched. But it’s said quietly, cold, and something breaks in his chest.

“I was just trying to help. I’m sorry,” Peter repeats, blinking back tears. “It was an accident.”

“An accident? A fucking accident?”

Tony looks angrier than Peter had ever seen him. Angrier than the day of the ferry. Angrier than when he found out about the warehouse. Angrier than the day of Pepper’s funeral when he threw a fit.

“I’m sorry, Mister Stark.” It seems to be the only thing computing in his brain, anger slowly simmering because he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to be shouted at after all the work he’s constantly putting into the family, after taking over all of Tony’s responsibilities.

“Stop fucking apologizing!” Tony shouts, throwing his hands up in anger. “Stop fucking things up! Stop being a fucking nuisance! I don’t need you to bring me coffee and breakfast like I’m- like I’m a damsel in distress!”

Peter goes to snap at him, opens his mouth to shout that if Peter weren’t here, Morgan would be all by herself. That if he stopped being a ‘nuisance’, Tony would’ve starved to death and Morgan would’ve been alone because Tony isn’t being much of a role model right now.

But a quiet, “Petey?” stops him from going farther than opening his mouth.

“It’s okay, Momo, you wanna meet me at the car? I just gotta finish this up, alright? And then I’ll go take you to see Miss Sarah.”

“Daddy?” Morgan tries again, searching their faces for help, for some sort of clue for what to do.

But Tony doesn’t say anything. Just stands there, chest heaving for breath and tears burning at his eyes. So Peter takes the responsibility, like he always does.

“He’s okay, Mo, just sick, ‘member?” Peter says. “Go put on your shoes, okay? Meet me out at the car. You can choose which ones you want to wear.”

This seems to catch her attention because Peter hasn’t let her wear her sparkly new light-up shoes because of all the spring mud. She takes off from the doorway, disappearing from their views.

“Peter, I- I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“I’m going to take Morgan to the city,” Peter interrupts, trying his best to blink back tears. “She has an appointment with her therapist and it’s grocery day, so…”

It’s not Tony’s fault, Peter repeats in his head, he’s just grieving.

But there’s only so many times you can play the grief card, especially as an adult. There’s only so much Tony can do before it becomes inexcusable.

“Kid-”

“I’m seventeen,” Peter says, too much anger and venom filling his voice because Tony hadn’t been there for Peter’s seventeenth birthday after they got back from the Snap in late July. Tony hadn’t left this bed that day. Morgan didn’t know it was his birthday, nobody could take care of her, so Peter spent his birthday doting on Morgan like he was her parent, like always.

Tony flinches, sitting on the edge of his bed and cradling his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, kid, I know I’ve been… I’ve been awful, I just-”

“It’s hard, I know,” Peter says, trying so hard to keep the bitterness from his voice. “I know what grief is like.”

Eyes wild and upset, Tony looks up from his hands, something too similar to the anger from before burning in his expression.

“You didn’t lose everything!” Tony says. “She was- Pep was my everything.”

It’s not his fault, Peter repeats like a mantra. It’s not his fault he thinks his grief is the end of the world, like the worst thing to have ever happened, grief has its ways of working like that.

“Well you have a daughter who lost her mom and now she’s lost her dad too because you won’t even show your face!” It’s a low blow and he hates himself for it, but he’s so sick and tired of carrying everything by himself. “She’s got me right now, and that’s it. All she’s got is a nuisance who can’t stop fucking up.”

The words to their job though. The anger from Tony’s face disappears like it was never there in the first place.

“Peter-”

“I think it would be better if I took Morgan and we stayed at May’s for the night,” Peter says. He has to be the adult.

He doesn’t want to leave Tony. Grieving alone. But he’s not going to let Morgan stay in a house that could be dangerous. Not that he doesn’t trust Tony, but he doesn’t want Morgan to be yelled at for any mistakes, not like he was.

And this is the breaking point for Peter. He’s spent months doing everything in his power to make sure Morgan and Tony are okay, but Tony hasn’t made any efforts to meet him halfway. All he’s done is throw anger and give the cold shoulder.

Peter knows what grief does to people. He’s seen it firsthand. When May lost Ben, the same scenario as Tony losing Pepper, May took care of Peter. She made sure that Peter was okay, and she got them both therapists and she met everything headstrong and chin held high. She grieved but she never made Peter feel like he wasn’t important, she never made Peter feel like a nuisance.

“Kid-”

Peter shakes his head, steels himself, and heads out of the cabin, refusing to look back.

*Peter waits in his car during Morgan’s session with Miss Sarah and cries.

And he knows he looks like a mess when he goes in to pick her up ninety minutes later.

Miss Sarah sees it immediately and she ducks her head to look at him properly, worry creasing her face.

“Are you alright?” she asks.

On one hand, the last thing he needs is to be scrutinized by a therapist, but on the other hand, she’s the first adult who’s sounded like they genuinely cared about his well being since the snap’s reversal.

Just that alone makes him want to break down.

“I’m okay, yeah. Just a rough morning, I guess,” he murmurs, trying to get a hold of himself. “Is Morgan doing alright?”

“She’s making stellar progress, Peter, but I’m worried about you and about Tony. From what Morgan tells me, you’re under a lot of stress.”

Peter shrugs, trying to look nonchalant as he looks over Sarah’s shoulder into her office where Morgan’s finishing up a coloring. “Tony’s dealing with a lot right now, so I’m stepping in as a caretaker, I guess. It just takes its toll.”

“You know it’s not your responsibility to take care of her, right? You’re not the adult,” she says. “You’re shaking, honey, do you want to sit down?”

He shoves his trembling hands into his hoodie pockets. “We should really be going. We’ll see you Sunday?”

“Of course,” Sarah replies, looking back at Morgan. “You know, I can always talk to you as well. I’ve always got room in my schedule for you, Peter.”

And Peter nods like he’d really accept the offer.

Instead, he takes Morgan’s hand, leads her out to the car and takes off to May’s apartment, refusing to let the tears bubble over.

They do, as they always do, you can’t stop tears forever.

Luckily, the tears wait until Morgan’s tucked into Happy’s arms and May’s got her arms around Peter.

And he breaks.

His head falls onto her shoulder and her arms wrap around his waist, soft shushing noises escaping her mouth as she looks over at Happy for help.

“Tony, he- I just- May, I can’t- I can’t do it anymore,” he cries. When the words start, they never seem to stop. “I fucked up and he yelled at me. He told me- He told me I was being a nuisance, that I shouldn’t be there anymore. He- I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t leave Morgan.”

“C’mon, kiddo, let’s go play in Petey’s room, okay?” He hears Happy say, leading Morgan out of the foyer.

Peter can’t stop shaking, can’t stop crying, can’t stop sinking under the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t sleep and I can’t eat and I’m so tired, May. I’m so tired. Please, I can’t-”

“This never should’ve been put on you, kid,” May says, voice soft and gentle. She steadies him and leads him to the couch, letting him curl into her side. “It’s not your job to be the adult, to be Morgan’s parent. That’s not on you.”

“I just wanted to help,” Peter says, feeling pathetic and messy, like his whole being has been torn to pieces and strung across the world.

May nods, tipping her head down to look at him properly. “Get some rest, baby. We’ll take care of Morgan and I’ll call Tony, okay? He’s going to come through.”

Peter sobs, hiding his face in shame. “I can’t, May, I can’t sleep. I always have nightmares of- of Titan or the war or- I just- Please, I can’t sleep-”

“Peter, honey, I know you’ve gotten used to doing this alone, but I’m here now. If you have nightmares, I’ll be here to help.”

And that’s what he needed.

He needed an adult to tell him it would be okay. To hold him close and tell him that he didn’t have to do it all on his own. And May was there, she always was.

“Rest, honey. It’ll all be better soon, I promise.”

It had been weeks since he’d gotten good rest, always up at dawn for Morgan and always awake until the early hours of morning for Tony or schoolwork. His eyes closed on their own accord, slipping shut as May pulled a blanket around his shoulders.

And he believed her. He trusted her. He was still just a kid and when an adult says it’ll be okay, it has to be, right?

*He wakes crying, hands fumbling in the air to fight an invisible threat, but his hands are caught in the air.

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re alright, take a breath.”

And that certainly wasn’t May’s voice or even Happy’s.

“Tony?” Peter asks, voice breaking as the tears refused to slow.

“I’m here, kiddo, I- I’m sorry. I couldn’t possibly be more sorry than I am now. I really messed up and I’m going to fix it, alright?”

The living room is still bright, thankfully. Peter doesn’t know if he told anybody about his fear of the dark ever since he was dusted, but he’s glad he doesn’t have to spill those secrets now.

“I can’t do it anymore,” Peter admits through his tears, sniffling miserably as he pins Tony’s hand between Peter’s cheek and the cushion, closing his eyes. “I can’t do it.”

But Tony nods. He doesn’t get angry or upset or even push Peter away. “I know, kiddo, I’m sorry you had to do it in the first place. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I’m going to get better, okay? I’m going to fix this now. Sarah is setting me up with my own therapist and I’m going to start being a better parent, okay?”

“I’m sorry too,” Peter says. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I shouldn’t have taken your kid and left you. I should’ve kept going, been stronger, I just- I couldn’t-”

The silence that follows scares Peter more than he’d like to admit, blinking his eyes open as more tears spill down his cheeks and his trembling hands grab onto Tony’s sleeve.

“Please don’t- I can’t- Are you mad at me? Do you hate me? I shouldn’t have- I was trying so hard and I still wasn’t good enough-”

Tony’s thumb runs over Peter’s cheekbone, gently brushing away the tears. “I could never hate you, kiddo. You were so strong, so much stronger than I could’ve ever been, even if you shouldn’t’ve had to be. If anything, you should be mad at me, not viceversa. I saw the things you were doing for Morgan-”

“It was nothing.”

“You drove an hour into the city three times a week for her therapy. You did all the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, everything. Morgan even told me about her birthday party that you planned for her. You worked nonstop and all I did was be an ass to you. You had sticky notes all over your walls to remind you of the things you were doing like fucking dance lessons with Morgan. You went to mom-and-daughter dance lessons with Morgan every weekend. Don’t tell me that’s not nothing.”

“You should see our routine,” Peter says, laughing wetly. “I wear a bright pink tutu and everything.”

Tony offers a gentle smile. “You’re my kid too, Pete, not Morgan’s parent. You should be in high school with Ted and the scary girl, going out as Spider-Man, dealing with all the trauma you’ve thrown on the backburner, not taking care of the things I should’ve been doing.”

“You’re going to get better?” Peter asks, throat tightening.

“Yeah, kiddo. I think you and Morgan will stay here for a little bit while I work on getting myself in a better headspace, but May and Happy are going to be your parents, not you. And when I get better, I’m going to take over, alright? You can relax now.”

Peter hesitantly shuffles over on the couch, making space for Tony next to him with a tentative smile.

And Tony doesn’t hesitate to curl up beside Peter and hold his kid close. “Thank you for everything you did for me and Morgan, kid.”

“It’s what Pepper would’ve done.”

“I love you, you know that? And so did she, even if she was worse at admitting it than I was. She was the one who bought the matching Big Brother/Little Sister t-shirts for you two. She wanted you apart of the family as much as I did.”

“I love you too, Tony.”

This is compromise. This is Tony meeting Peter halfway. This is the first step in the right direction. And Peter believes the promises that everything will be okay. He wouldn’t trade the past few months for the world. He loves Morgan and Tony too much for that.

[costellos]

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮! 

—asks received between Sept. 1 and Sept. 16.

anonymous asked: My all time favorite concept is cuddly Stands. Wingman Stands. The ones that figure out that I like someone and then proceed to act on it. I can just picture sitting there, beating down my feelings for Polnareff or Kakyoin and all of a sudden, my Stand just starts nuzzling into their neck and we make direct eye contact. I start trying to apologize but my Stand just keeps hugging and kissing them. I firmly believe someone (probably Joseph) would tease me about it. 😂🥺

AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!! stands are basically a shadow of yourself sooo 👀 I think Silver Chariot and Emerald Splash would be flustered. especially Chariot; Polnareff acts suave but I like to think that the moment his flirting is returned the man just shuts down. Emerald Splash would handle it a lil better, but Kakyoin is doing everything he can to downplay the situation. you? like him? ugh, that’s unimaginable. although he’d tease you about it, that pink blush is unmistakable. 

anonymous asked: Ight, concept time. Im in college for massage therapy, and we spend a lot of out lab time massaging one another (and it's soooo niiiice. My touch starved quarantined ass LOVES it.) Anyway. Now I can't get it out of my head of treating my faves to a nice massage. Ceasar and Joseph after training. Literally all of the Crusaders, especially sweet Polnareff. Using swords is tough work! Id love to help him relax. (Something tells me Joot wouldn't want to cooperate. No matter. I'll massage Star. 🥰)

omg that sounds amazing! I’m so envious.... can I come to your massage therapy class? anyway, I think all of them would appreciate it! some would be more excited than others (Joseph, Polnareff), but most would be super hesitant (Caesar, Avdol, Kakyoin) or would straight up reject you (Oldseph, Jotaro). just put those hands to work and they’d melt to your touch. they’d be in the middle of protesting and the moment u so much as pinch their shoulders they just go “hhhggghh... nice......” (Star would be your best client, he’s so happy to have any sort of attention from you 😊)

💘 anon asked: 😔😔i’m here to openly confess my love for pannacotta fugo, i’m gathering my brain cells to write you good concepts but for now, i wanna give him a hug and tell him it’s okay and purple haze isn’t that scary bc have you seen a depressed bitch’s dirty ass room before?? that’s scary purple haze ain’t nothing (ps i’m bitch)

PUT THOSE BRAIN CELLS TO WORK, GIRL. I WANT UR BEST CONCEPTS!!!

hmmm... it depends on the situation on whether or not Fugo would accept your words. if you’re just coming up to him out of the blue, I think he’d brush you off. but if you’re calming him down after an outburst and you’re persistent about talking with him, he’d be much more receptive. he’s so lost and so, so scared yet having you here, holding him, would remind him that not all things in the world are terrible. although he still doesn’t think he deserves you, he’s glad that you’re here nonetheless. 

just a soft anon 💖 asked:  Bro. I'm taking my fine art entrance exams tomorrow morning and I'm 😃 afraid because it's gonna be my third attempt and I can't stand the idea of spending another year of my life on prep for that stupid school. I just hope Mista would be proud of me. Ftuefhsjjagj anyway I hope you're doing ok Toya bby

just a soft anon!!! I’m so sorry about the late reply! but I know you put your best effort in your entrance exams and I’m so proud of you for getting it done and over with 💕 please let me know how you did!

Mista would 100% be proud of you! he’d be waiting outside of the entrance, and the moment he sees you come out, his face would just light up. he’d be so proud of you for finishing your exam. and even if you’re not sure of your results, he’d pick you up in a giant hug and tell you that those admissions directors would be stupid to not accept you. I hope you’re ready to celebrate by going to your favorite restaurant, courtesy of Mista himself!!

anonymous asked: Not a request but I like to think despite appearances, Risotto likes playing cute games. Imagine his s/o showing him Pitter Patter Pop and gushing over how cute his character is. (I know Pitter Patter Pop is a Jojo game BUT LIKE. THE GAME IS SO CUTE.)

LMAOOO. it probably starts as something he plays to pass the time. like, Formaggio has been raving about it for a week now, what’s the harm in downloading it? but then it turns into a minor obsession. wow. this game is pretty cute. but what’s cuter (and funnier) is seeing Risotto show you his phone and say, “[Name]. look. they got all my poses down."

anonymous asked: Concept: Going in for a hug with Polnareff except you both lean your heads the same way and accidentally kiss 😳😂 (alternate answer, i can totally see this happening with Joseph) (I've literally done this on accident before lmao)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Polnareff would be so embarrassed! he’d immediately pull back, eyes wide and a hand over his mouth. how he’d respond after that relies entirely on you. if you’re embarrassed too, he’d try to change the subject to diffuse the situation. if you’re into it, however, Polnareff would waste no time going in for another smooch 👀 gentler, this time. and correctly!

anonymous asked: But just think GoT universe and Ris is a targaryen. Uffff he has a sword forged from the blood of his enemies and an armour of leather and steel, and he rides into the battlefield on his massive dragon Metallica, and his king's guard's leader is Prosciutto Lannister and Ris has an alliance with the northern lord bruno stark. ufffff...

my knowledge of GoT is super limited but! imagine Risotto’s skin stained with blood and dirt. his breathing heavy and rugged. his eyes vermilion, as red as the fire that burns behind him. his muscles ache and his mouth is dry, but he’s not done with battle. not yet, at least. Prosciutto watches as Risotto advances. his armor is as beaten as his king’s, and though he’s capable of assisting Risotto, he merely places a paper rolled with fine tobacco in his mouth. he knows that this this the king’s fight.

anonymous asked: I can't imagine the circumstances, but I like to imagine Risotto teasing his s/o by holding stuff over their head (for example, the t.v remote). Maybe s/o wants to watch a certain movie but he doesn't want to lmao. Alternatively maybe they'll try to wrestle the remote from his hand but he's just sitting there, chilling while his fingers won't budge at all--

omg.... yes...... I think he’d do it with a super blank expression too. like he’s amused, he just won’t show it. the most you’ll get is a quirked brow. sometimes you see the slightest hint of a smile, and you can’t help but smile yourself. you know that action is reserved for you and you only. also his just sitting there, chillin, while his s/o tries to wrestle the remote from his hand is CANON u can’t convince me otherwise.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark  /  remove it with the kiss of a knife  /  even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.

[emeraldbabygirl]

ATEEZ - Answer I’ve already stated why this song made me cry when I reviewed it over the summer. To attempt to put it shortly, I feel a sense of almost relief? It makes me feel proud of the boys in general and the songs feels like overcoming an obstacle and coming out stronger and just feeling overwhelmed by joy and happiness? And the part at the end really makes me just burst into tears it feels uplifting and beautiful.

MCND - Beautiful this song give me this nostalgia feeling, it sounds similar to a pop song I first heard in middle school (Down by Jay Sean). I started listening to pop in middle school and middle school is hell for everyone along with high school but there’s certain memories I have of middle school that weren’t too bad. I had a lot of friends, we filled up an entire table in the cafeteria. It was also in middle school that I sort of confessed to both my crushes. Middle school was different and new to me and ya’know middle school but this song reminds me of those times. Also about the song itself it gives me this feeling of longing and want like longing to fall in love and just it’s very strong and that really gets to me. (Upon looking up the lyrics it’s seems more like a song for the fans rather than a love song but that’s just the feeling it gives me and the way I interpret it)

Secret Number - Got That Boom recently this song has been making me feel things. Just the chorus is so upbeat and it feel like I can relax and just dance my heart out and just be happy and I don’t know if these girls will become an Itzy situation but there’s definitely something about the song that gives me kind of a similar feeling. I feel happy

CIX - Cinema ok so I never thought CIX would have this effect on me and up until recent songs didn’t give me these feelings and make me cry unless the song itself was sad. The way it’s been lately the songs I listen to can really sit with me and make me feel emotional even if the song is happy and upbeat. The way Cinema is, I’ve never used this phrasing before with anything, but the way I cried while just listening to the bridge and chorus in Cinema, that song is truly my safe place. Like my friend said “it feels like a hug” it does. That chorus gives me a feeling of nostalgia but in a way that makes it feel okay and it’s not a feeling that’s upsets me it’s literally a hug, it’s like a warm hug it feels like, like when I listen to it the way the members make their voices sound it’s relaxing and calming. It’s like whenever I hear the song, even if I’m watching a performance of it I feel calm, I feel okay. Like every bone in my body is at ease, every worry is melting away and I’m almost just floating on a cloud. I don’t exactly know how to put these feelings and emotions into words but I cannot praise Cinema enough.

OneWe & OneUs - Last Song this song is very upbeat and makes me feel joy and it doesn’t make me feel safe persay but it’s comforting. It’s another song that gives me a sense of longing. It’s like seeing an old friend again and reconnecting, like the ending credits to a really wholesome and wonderful movie about friendship and love amoung these friends that never stops growing. Just seeing all the clips in the mv of Oneus and Onewe together having fun and enjoying each other’s company, it’s almost like an end of summer recap having all these fun adventures and fun memories that you never want to forget and you will always cherish those memories and you want to keep those friends with you forever. And seeing them perform the song together on stage, the choreo has the same vibe it’s just a really feel good and wholesome song. (Also thinking about it now there also seems to be this sadness, like, ok in short sometimes I get really upset when I think about how I’m not little anymore. More on that later but this song feels like you’re just trying to be in the moment and preserve your youth, you don’t want to grow up, you don’t want things to change you want your friends to be with you always and you just want to live in this memory that you’ve captured foever and never grow up. That emotion is really strong here as well.)

Loona - Star a lot of people said this song gave them nostalgic feels and it’s crazy how that happened, it did for me too, as soon as I heard the chorus it hit me like a truck. I really don’t have the words to describe this song really other than that weird nostalgic feeling but it was weird how a lot of us had that feeling. The mv is beautiful and it’s crazy how I had memorized the chorus in the Korean version within a few days of watching them perform it. I really don’t know what to say about this song other than how amazing it is really. It kinda takes you back to a certain time in your life but I don’t know what that time it. Someone had said that they were listening to it while their mum was a asleep and the mum dreamed she was back in her hometown and she could hear that song play in the streets, it almost seems as if that song has time traveling powers or some power truly beyond humans lmao. She’s really something

Dreamcatcher - Odd Eye this song is hella but the bridge and the hard rock in the chorus sent me into fight or flight for the first time. I got another nostalgia feeling but with an image which never happens to me but basically picture it raining hard and you have extreme feelings of sadness and dread and you just want to almost scream?

Ghost9 - Thinking of Dawn another fight or flight song, it’s really weird tho but specifically Prince’s line in the bridge or chorus gave me a panic attack the first time I heard it, there’s something about the way the song and his voice sounds that like upsets me? And makes me want to cry. (Almost like this impending doom feeling. Similar vibes actually to that cursed Artificial Intelligence movie that I fucking loathe so goddamn much)

Twice - Cry for Me gurl this song gives me nostalgia like an early 2000’s but maybe late 90’s pop song and wow, it’s just so damn good I had to put it here

Sunmi - Pporoppipiiram - this song is another one that kinda plays with my emotions, I’ve described it as running away in the night with a secret lover, I’ve talked about wanting to just have these crazy night time shenanigans with a lover or friend and feeling free, it’s a song that I can see a sunrise in my head, the opening sounds and smells like a sunrise during the summer, possibly on the beach seeing the sun’s rays lighting up the ocean, the soft pink and orange glow, what Sunmi perfectly portrays in that mv is exactly what goes on in my mind whenever I listen to that song and she’s a certified bop™️ and that song is just so lovely but she’s got some feeling to it

2Z - Not Without You - motherfuckin 2Z came out with this song after Hyungwoong left and I was still upset about him leaving but I still wanted to support 2Z cause I wasn’t about to give up on them like that and the way this song was carried was gorgeous. I clearly cried, the way the song and the members voices make you feel comforted and kind of at peace with the world. It’s an uplifting song and the member’s sound wonderfully and Zunon’s voice was actually what brought me to tears, his singing is so gentle and truly beautiful and he fits right in with 2Z and when I realized that and I realized that 2Z can do all these things with their voices I just couldn’t help but cry. This song is like a huge sigh of relief but also tears of happiness

2Z - Stand nothing really specific about this song just the mv made me fucking cry at like 5 in the am. There was a big sad feeling tho

Yooa - Bon Voyage I never expected Yooa to get a solo but I was so blown away for her solo. It’s not a song that is a bop or really upbeat but it’s a gorgeous piece and with the way it sounds and the set and her outfits. It’s really the whole fantasy theme. It takes you away to a make believe world where you are free and you can just get away and escape. I don’t really know how to describe it but the scene where she’s on like rocks and she’s just spinning and it’s got that cool sound to the song, that scene describes the feeling perfectly

Pentagon - Daisy this fucking song. First off fuck you Pentagon for making me feel emotions yet making Yuto and Hongseok go tits up. Just seeing them all on the floor looking defeated or at a loss, it’s a painful feeling. It’s a song that makes me feel bad and towards the end I felt this feeling of fight or flight like, I wanted to stop watching it because I felt this inner panic for some reason like I had to get away. And then when they all sing together that really did me in, made me tear up and it’s a beautiful song but not in a beautiful way it’s painfully beautiful and the boys did so well in portraying all the feeling through their voices and just the different scenes in the mv

BlackPink - Lovesick Girls this song I call my self proclaimed anthem, I heard it for the first some time and it wasn’t until I watched them perform it for the first time that I teared up. At the time this happened I was really sad and I kept “slipping” so I felt very touch starved and clingy and I wanted just love and affection from anyone. I was feeling really lonely and the feeling was stronger than it’s ever been it I felt like crying all the time I was just so upset that I was lonely and I really wanted love and affection and this song was like my therapy for that I guess? I didn’t feel so alone. There’s a strong emotional bond I have with this, the desire and the need to fall in love and to just have attention from that one special person. I know the song is kind of about just feeling like you’re not cut out for falling in love and you know every relationship ends but there’s still that need, that desire to fall in love and be in love with another person, and with me I always say I don’t want to be in a relationship, I hate men, love is disgusting, but there’s thing strong desire and need inside me to be loved and to fall in love and sometimes, like when this song came out, you just get so upset that it feels like your heart is like in pain, like you hurt on the inside. That whole “hurts your heart” shit

Itzy - Wannabe I’m actually not going to explain why this song makes me cry I’m not ready to give the whole story yet and I probably won’t be. So in short, I heard this song when I was at quite a low point in my life I suppose, problems at work were just causing me to truly feel like shit and this song really hit me and actually the Wannabe era is what made me stan Itzy those girls are so precious to me and I hold them so close to my heart they are little miracles honestly and that song just really sits with me

I highly recommend all these songs they are so good and they have such beautiful and great mvs to go with them, some even cinematic masterpieces also this finna be my playlist for my funeral honestly. She doubles as the ‘play this at my funeral’ playlist

[quercus-queer]

A Slice of a Normal Life au

Grace and Simon Edition... this ones long lmao:

They met at a train station as little kids and didn’t see each other again until high school

High school was rough for both of them and was really shitty in general so i’ll just leave that up to you but i’m starting with college

Grace ends up going to Juilliard and Simon feels betrayed because they were supposed to stick together no matter what 

Plus Grace lied about it and put off confronting the issue until right before she left but Simon already felt something was up and his abandonment issues and other problems pop off so he distanced himself from her and started being a dick (sorry they’re still codependent and problematic at this point) until Grace goes off on him

She leaves and Simon has a breakdown and ends up in a psych ward but he does finally get some actual help and diagnosis (the high school counselor was trash), he never reaches back out to Grace and skips town afterwards which really impacts Grace and she’s just like... bro... do i need therapy too? 

And then she actually seeks out a therapist with the intent to get better and does! She has pretty great time in college and makes actual friends in her dance program and ends up getting a girlfriend at some point... it was a long and pretty healthy relationship but ended on kinda bad terms, but she navigated her first relationship! Yay!

Simon is a dumbass and got with this girl he met while he was institutionalized... it didn’t go well but it was a relationship... it was like a few months long... but yeah... she also tells him to get a grip lol

I also changed my mind Simon doesn’t live with Samantha in high school, he tracks her down after his breakdown since he’s a legal adult and can do whatever he wants and lives with her and Frank afterwards

Simon starts working in a bookstore The Apex (its called that because they live on a mountain and its in the downtown of the city thats at the peak of the mountain) and actually really likes it and Samantha and Frank are good parental figures and he goes to actual therapy

There’s a little reading club for kids at the bookstore which is comprised of the Apex kids that he is in charge of now because the owner has her hands full (her, Simon, and a high school girl are like the only workers there)

Simon also gets a boyfriend he actually manages to keep and its a pretty good relationship and ends on relatively good terms since Simon’s actually getting therapy and has a good life set-up now so yay! He managed an actual relationship!

Samantha and Frank live in a cabin on this mountainous city btw which has a popular resort that Samantha manages and Frank is a chef there... it’s a very popular resort... a very common place for a retreat...

Grace and her dance crew in college take a trip there and she sees Simon and nearly dies, no seriously she was walking and then slipped and hit her head

She ends up in the hospital and her friends (she has actual good friends now) are like Grace what the fuck just happened you’re not that clumsy?

But you know who is? Simon, who is at the same hospital because Lucy from the kids club who is also a clumsy disaster got a fucking pencil in her eye and he had to drive her to the hospital

He sees Grace and doesn’t know whether to laugh cry or say hi so he just stares at her blankly like the dumbass he is and then leaves

Anyway, this kicks off a 200k mall-rats slowburn that goes harder than Tulips and Mikayla’s 

Grace doesn’t see him again until the next night when he’s in the lobby and he actually goes up to her and they talk because he had time to process it, they awkwardly talk... mostly sit though, and then Grace’s friends call her over and Simon quickly offers for her to come over another day

Grace doesn’t know what to do and her friends ask her whats up and convince her to go, not alone obviously Jennifer is gonna go with her to make sure she doesn’t get murdered 

Its awkward again, there’s small talk between Samantha, Frank, Jennifer and the two idiots and they play card games until Frank decides to finish up dinner and Jen ditches Grace because Frank is the coolest mf on the planet so Grace and Simon are alone again

They just sit there until Simon asks about her dance program and college and then they talk about that until Grace mentions her therapist and Simon’s like??? and Grace is like whoops and then they eat dinner and Grace and Jen leave

Simon goes by the resort more often but they don’t rlly talk until Grace is about to leave and Simon just apologizes for everything and Grace says she’s sorry too and Simon just doesn’t know how to respond to that so he’s like if you ever want to come back here I’ll be here

Grace does not know how to respond to that so she’s just like uhhh okay bye

The dance team comes back the following year and she sees Simon again and he’s like “sorry for fucking you up” and Grace is like “don’t give yourself so much credit I already needed therapy unless you forgot about the fact I had counseling right after you?” “I try to block out everything from before 19 tbh” “fair enough... I suppose there wasn’t much to want to remember huh” “I’m... I remember telling you, you were the best person I ever met and I meant that” Grace doesn’t know how to respond to that and then they don’t talk for the rest of the trip, they just wave at each other and smile in passing

The dance troupe grace joins after college goes on annual trips to the resort so Grace and Simon continue to have three conversations each year plus Jennifer makes sure a visit to Samantha’s and Frank’s happens

the yearning... the pining... WHEW its a lot and Samantha, Frank, and Grace’s entire dance troupe, plus the family that always vacations at the same time are SICK of it

They don’t even become close friends again until their late twenties. 

The kids club thinks Grace is amazing and Kai bases their whole look off of her

Mall-rats officially happens in their thirties and they get married in their forties

when I say slowburn i meant it

Idk where to put this: 

Samantha lost custody of Simon as a kid because of a hoarding problem she still struggles with but Simon is an adult now and him and Frank help keep her in check

Simon was with Samantha from a couple weeks after entering foster care and most of middle school

Samantha and Frank are actually just roommates 

Grace is like “so Samantha and Frank...?” “They’re roommates” “Simon... is that what they told you?” “well yeah, but they’re seriously just roommates” “ummmm...” “Grace they’re both gay” “OH”

Simon works at the bookstore his whole life and he loves it, Grace is a professional dancer, they’re both happy

They look the same as in canon except Simon can shave and Grace gets be the fashion icon she deserves 

Simon still cant dress so most of the time he just wears different sweaters he’s been given and alternates between his three pairs of jeans

[rowanfoster]

{ odeya rush ♔ twenty-three ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t rowan foster running around peach hollow. legend has it, she comes from tangerine towers and has lived here her entire life. if you’re wondering what she’s been up to, i hear she’s a make up artist / freelance musician for a living. she has been known to be impulsive yet insightful. a word of advice to her, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching.

why yes, it is i, admin kim, with another character that should’ve been kept in the drafts of my mind. if you’ve not met daysia or serenity, here’s a lil low down on me. i’m 26, i use she/her pronouns, and live on the east coast. i thrive on writing angst and my animal crossing villagers being happy. also caffeine. i luv chris klemens. most likely to have a mental breakdown on twitter. meet rowan! trigger warnings for mental illness, bipolar disorder specifically, and inpatient treatment

have a playlist and a pinterest board dedicated to her

rowan celeste foster was born may 27th, 1996. she’s the oldest of two, a baby sister coming to the scene in 1999.

her family is extremely close. they’ve been in peach hollow their whole lives. she grew up in a crowded house on blueberry boulevard, crammed in with her mother, father, sister, maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather. rowan never knew peace or privacy growing up – it just wasn’t possible with that many people which has really contributed to her somewhat isolated adulthood

her mother is a charge nurse at peach hollow general, working on the emergency room floor. her father is a retired car salesman. her grandparents moved into the house when her sister was born in order to help take care of the girls while their parents worked full time. rowan is especially grateful for their care, because she feels like she’d be a little more sour had she been raised by absent parents.

growing up, she shared a room with her younger sister. they told each other everything because they had no choice not to. they both developed an interest in make up and music at very young ages, but rowan particularly took to those things while maci took more interest in sports. when rowan was gifted her first ukulele at age 6, maci got her first basketball. they are polar opposites, but maci was the only person rowan really confided in as a child and an adolescent.

she’d always been rather moody. tantrums and fits were nearly unavoidable. her self esteem lacked before she even had a chance to develop any confidence. she was always the try hard, the girl who stood out because she was just a little different, the emotional one, the one the other kids didn’t want to mess with, not because she’d fight back, but because she would absolutely lose it. there were countless times where rowan ended up in the guidance counselor’s office, waiting on her grandmother to show up and bring her home. that was the beginning of their problems.

her mental health really started to decline in her mid teenage years. she spent hours upon hours in her room, writing songs, playing guitar, practicing make up looks – she’d go days without sleeping and snap at anyone who crossed her path. she got into screaming matches with everyone in the house, only to find herself crying in her bed for the next few days. she started missing days at a time from school, while her artistry thrive, the rest of her crumbled. her grades, all of it.

eventually, this resulted in her parents yanking her out of peach hollow high and putting her in counseling, which lead her to a psychiatrist and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder at the age of 17. while it made sense, she dreaded taking the medications. they numbed everything. her writing suffered, and while her moods weren’t swinging from the trees anymore, she feared that this empty feeling was worse.

she finished her high school diploma in homeschooling with her grandmother while maci went on to thrive in school. the attention shifted to her, and rowan couldn’t really blame them. she turned 18 and started performing in clubs, bars, and anywhere she could get in. ps her voice is a mix of bishop briggs & mary lambert. the thrill of performing to small crowds sucked her in. she began to gain an even smaller following on social media, mainly the locals following her. every once in a while she’ll book a show in atlanta and she’ll make the long drive just to sing in front of a bit of a larger crowd. she’ll gain a few followers from those shows, but this still isn’t her main source of income.

most of her money comes from the make up artistry she does through pop of peach. she doesn’t go in every day, but when someone has an event scheduled or needs their make up done for a dance or something, she’s there. she tries to spread things out bc she’s always late lmao and finds it hard to stick to a schedule

she was doing so well for a few years, even moved out of her parents’ house and into an apartment at the towers. that’s where she really found herself, made some real friends and built relationships that were good for her. however, she missed a few doctor’s appointments and was discharged from her psychiatrist’s office. she went off meds, and for a few weeks it was fine. when she ran out of meds, the next few weeks were okay as well. it was when every single drop of medication had drained from her body that things got bad.

rowan was missing appointments she scheduled at pop of peach. she was spending far too much time out at nights, giving in to alcohol for the most part. she tried not to touch any drugs, but drinking became a nightly thing. she’d perform, then spend the rest of the night partying with whoever she could find at the venue.

one night in atlanta after a particularly shaky performance, rowan found herself in a dark place and simply went into the women’s bathroom to calm down, but police say they found her laying flat on the ground, refusing to respond to anyone. she vaguely remembers the end of the manic episode, but it did land her in the emergency room for a change in mental status.

much to her chagrin, they admitted her overnight before transporting her to skyland trail, a mental health facility in atlanta. she spend about two and a half months there getting medications regulated and learning new coping mechanisms. she was discharged about two weeks ago and finally made it back to peach hollow and her apartment.

she’d lead everyone other than her family and maybe one or two other people that she was away on a musician’s retreat, but really, was in inpatient treatment.

she’s currently working full time as a make up artist at pop of peach and performing when she can, but doesn’t really go outside of peach hollow

fun facts & personality

rowan despises small talk. conversations about the weather or political climate don’t stimulate her and she gets snarky pretty easily. it isn’t that she wants to come off rude or unapproachable, but nine times out of ten, small talk is fake and she feels as though she doesn’t have the time or energy to indulge in it. ask her about the sky or some shit. she won’t shut up

she has a tendency to overshare,  aside from what’s been going on in the past few months. her lips are sealed tight about that. however, she’s open to talking about her mental health and is a big advocate for erasing the stigma. this makes rowan a very good listener and a huge supportive presence for anyone struggling. she’s the mom friend, and no matter what time of day or night, if someone says they need an ear, she’ll go to them. she knows what it’s like to be alone.

despite her past and her demons, rowan finds a way to put on a smile. it might often be snarky or sarcastic, but rarely is it insincere. she’s an empath and feels everything so very deeply, but can easily put it away when necessarily.

her apartment is her safe haven. she rarely has company. it isn’t really her thing. she prefers to go to other people’s places. she has her record collection proudly displayed on her living room wall, all the plants you can imagine, incense burning whenever she’s home, and a scottish fold munchkin cat named loonette after her favorite childhood tv show, the big comfy couch. she has hopes to get another cat named molly to match. you know, because we’re all clowns !

she takes great pride in her instagram. it sounds superficial, but often times, rowan will post a good picture and then link to her next show in hopes that somebody will come based on that. while she does have a passion for make up and a second instagram for it, ultimately, she’d like for there to come a time where she can live solely on the money she makes through music

catch her driving her old ass ford focus blaring 00s alternative, mainly fuckin paramore bc she’s heart eyes for hayley williams

wanted connections if ya made it this far!!!!

childhood friends – those who she’s known since elementary school. they’ve most likely watched her go through her many trials and tribulations in class. these could be acquaintances, close friends, or even a ride or die or two.

bullies – people who fucked with her through school. it’s essential that they’re on bad terms currently, but perhaps an enemy turned friend or romantic could be fun??

group therapy pal – this would be super fun and might entail the person finding out about her secret…. msg me for deets

exes – there will be a couple of these, gender does not matter. i’d like to find one that she was dating when she went into treatment and maybe hasn’t seen/spoken to them since they’ve been back, first love, high school sweetheart?? omg possibilities are endless

flirtationship – self explanatory, gender doesn’t matter she’s pan

any other ideas literally lmk!! thanks for reading ♥

[saltyaro]

You know, I’ve been replaying the Ace Attorney games lately. At first I was bored and out of nowhere, I redid Dual destinies just because I hadn’t in a long time. Which led me to play the first game again (mainly for the Edgeworth case I love it so much tbh) and I’m now replaying Spirit of justice. 

And...I can’t help but absolutely love those games because. It’s just so easy to hc everyone - and bu that I mean absolutely everyone important - as arospec! In canon, Phoenix does have one (1) romantic relationship at one point but I’d like to point out that one crush in your life does not make you alloromantic. Given the context I’d say either greyro or heteronormativity? I guess he can’t really be demiro but he could also be recipro (with the context again. Recipro does sound particularly consistent though). He doesn’t have any other romantic stuff even hinted at him! Pearls wants to believe Maya and him are dating but it always makes them 100% uncomfortable (the age gap people. Also, siblings dynamic). Pearls is kinda brainwashed by TV but hasn’t ever expressed interest in romance for herself, even her older self. 

Edgeworth doesn’t have any interest in romance either. And I know he’s often shipped with Phoenix (I learnt about that quite recently actually-) but...even outside of my “I’ll make everyone aro if I can” motto, I...never shipped them romantically, even before I learnt of aromanticism. I like their dynamic, and how it’s implied Edgeworth opened up more (to everyone) after his trauma got relieved a bit. I want him to act like a stupid kid around his friends. Like, I can acknowledge Phoenix and him have a special bond, but someone special doesn’t mean it’s romantic and. Edgey’s emotional development got stopped after he parted with Pheonix and Larry so there’s that to consider too. This is the kind of bond of trust that can’t be broken and I find it beautiful, but I’m also pretty sure it would be unhealthy to only rely on one person, regardless of the nature of the relationship. 

Apollo? Doesn’t have a romantic subplot. I guess there’s Junie who’s got a thing for him but he doesn’t reciprocate - and I relate to him not even being aware of it lmao. He’s so oblivious around romance, if he’s not arospec who is.

Athena? No romance in her life. She’s a lot like Phoenix (in her past trauma and her reason for doing the things she does) and I love her. Also, if someone ships her romantically with Simon, then I hate that person and will steal their bed. They’re like siblings and have like, a 10 years gap. 

Trucy is the sun and doesn’t know what romance is. She’d use it as a magic trick and burn it/make it disappear into her magic panties (actually please do that Trucy, I beg of you). 

Well, I could also mention like, Gavin, I guess he’s just a flirt but I don’t think it really means anything, romantic-attraction-wise. He’s also too cool to be straight to i’m going to make him aro. Though I don’t have a consistent HC for him outside of “not straight” if I’m being honest. 

And it’s not even like romance doesn’t exist in the AA universe! Larry’s the straightest guy to ever straight (he’s harmless but outside of that...) and the cases often have romantic subplots and all. Well, not *that* often, and it’s generally the cause for murder but still. It’s a thing, it exists. Also we have a canon WLW in Dual Destinies and she’s one of the rare romance-havers not to be a culprit! She’s not the best, like she def has anger issues, but it’s all explained and understandable. She also loves her brother very much and deserves good things and therapy. 

ALSO

I really, really love the dynamic of Phoenix’s found family? You have Maya, Trucy, and Pearls (and I guess Athena and Apollo are part of it too but they arrive later and have less interactions so). Pearls is Maya’s cousin, but otherwise, no one has any blood relationship in their little family. No romance needed. Phoenix adopted Trucy (and is apparently doing a great job) and babysits Pealrs and Maya. They’re all free of doing whatever they want, and they know they’re always going to come back together. It’s a found family but, not the “nuclear family” way, you know? Maya definitely isn’t acting as Trucy’s mother, and more like Phoenix’s sister I guess (Trucy and Maya do lack canon interaction but I always felt like said interactions were implied). I love their little family and the freedom in it. It’s just so healthy. 

The last thing, not aro related, but still great and why I love those games-

Mental illness. I’m not saying it’s great rep, I don’t think it is, but...it’s just, so refreshing that you have characters with mental illnesses and issues that aren’t bad people. They aren’t the culprits, and, like in real life, are more likely to be victims. The diagnostic is never given in the game, but Edgeworth’s trauma? Not mocked. He definitely has PTSD, and, his fear of earthquakes? Wondered about, but not mocked. I guess that’s part of the reason I always go back to his case in the first game: to hear someone you care about, someone you trust, tell you: “I believe in you. I know your mind has been lying to you the whole time, and I’m here to say it’s okay. Those are just lies. Even when you stop believing in yourself, I’ll still believe in you.” That’s just so powerful, I can’t help but feel emotional every time. Add to that the fact that this bond isn’t romantic and. Yeah.

For Athena’s trauma, it’s the way it’s displayed I really love. Her game is much more recent, and it shows. She just blacks out when her PTSD gets triggered and no one shames her for that. Even though no one knows what’s happening inside her head for the longest time. She needs to be brought back to her senses, to be grounded. It’s not like she gets to have therapy on screen or anything, no character really gets a lot of time off the courtroom anyway, but given the context, I found she was treated in a very sensitive way.

The last example I can think of, is a character with DID. I say DID, but I doubt that’s good rep, and that’s probably not the way people with DID experience life, but that’s what’s said in the game so...Anyway, they’re a witness and, if you know how AA games work, the real culprit is *always* a witness. And you know how in pop culture, people with multiple personalities are often treated as villain, with the “hidden personality” no one knows about, not even the person, and this hidden personality is a murderer? I was sooo afraid the game was going to go that way. They even did hint at it, with giving the character the “hidden personality”. Except, the “hidden personality”, much like all of the other people of the system, is...100% harmless. And just that was so refreshing. Which goes to say a lot about the state of the rep for mental diversity. I don’t know the reality of experiencing DID, but in the game the witness interacts with themselves, and everyone in the court speaks to each individual differently, and the witness isn’t treated as delusional. 

Those characters are accused wrongly of murder, when in reality they haven’t hurt a fly. And exonerating them is key to solving the case at hand. I don’t know who’s responsible for that, but I’m extremely grateful to them. To explicitly have your main character, the character you’re playing, clear the name of the mentally ill characters? It’s a blessing and not something you would expect from a game that named one of its recurring characters “Larry Butz”. 

Anyway, I guess I am kinda trying to convince some of you to play those games (and goof about it with me) in this post. Even though it wasn’t my initial intent. If all of this isn’t enough to convince you - play those games for the awful puns. The characters’ names are terrible. Also I know I mentioned romance existing but weirdly enough it wasn’t annoying? Probably because it’s actually downplayed a lot. It’s only relevant as a plot device and it’s just like. Stated. Not dwelved deeper into. Those games are great for when you’re romance tired. 

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

... apparently, these are becoming a weekly endeavor. (watch me getting an autoblock as soon as I post this) ( AO3 )

tl;dr Hawks is in high spirits (no pun intended), and Rumi’s Intrigued™

Meanwhile, somewhere not too far away, a vaguely annoyed Dabi is sneezing a whole lot, questioning whether his feeble ass is allergic to feathers.

(((I almost chose an angsty ending. Almost. But apparently I cannot do that with series and games that are not depression station in the first place, F.)))

“Say… you are in a reeeeeally good mood today, aren'tcha?” Rumi notes between two obnoxious milkshake slurps next to the remaining morsels of their lunch while taking a full round on the revolving barstool. It’s a Monday, it’s a conference day, a boring conference day where she’s about to kill herself out of sheer boredom… and Hawks, who’s usually also only present in body and ready to passive-aggressively tear the thing down, is radiating a hundred different levels and shades of sunlight. Of course she’s gonna jump on this.

“Huh?” the hero replies, returning to the present; the pen he’s got bouncing between two fingers while reading through the despair-inducingly thick paper pile in front of him (most likely invitations and offers of various kinds) never stops in its fast, metronome-like movement. The little smile that's been plastered over his face all day perks up a little as he looks at her, too. He’s obviously missed the question directed at him, but doesn't seem to be bothered by it.

“I said you are in a good fucking mood, twerp,” his friend repeats with a click of the tongue. Something’s definitely up. “And that you didn't catch it is all the damn proof I need. Haven't seen you this well-adjusted since… ever, actually.” Slurrrp.

“Aaah… guess so,” he muses with the rhythm slowing and a thoughtful expression for a change.

“I had the best fucking sleep ‘since ever’ is all.” The pause preceding this is uncharacteristically long, and his persistent smile returns before he even reaches the conclusion.

“You slept?” chortles Rumi in disbelief, then starts choking as some of the remaining milkshake finds its way to her lungs. The plausible fact that this alone could make him feel alive should not be this funny.

Hawks’ smile widens into a grin and he leans onto an elbow, shoving the documents aside. “Seven hours and thirteen whole-ass minutes, bitch. It's a new record!” It wasn't exactly that much, probably just under seven if he wanted to be honest. But point stands.

Once having regained composure, the heroine lets the information linger for a few seconds. Hmm. Hmmm… “Explains why you are functional and were late for the meeting. What it doesn’t explain is how you, Mr. 10 minutes ahead of everyone’s schedule… early bird extraordinaire… slept in.” That goofy expression is not his usual one, no. There's a snoop to be had, here. After a deep, deep, grin-ridden sigh, she turns back to him, leaning on the counter as well. “Has it got anything to do with dodging, like, all of my invitations lately? Hmm?” She wiggles her brows at him.

Man… she just went there, didn't she. Unfortunately, the persistent smile refuses to cover for him. In fact, it's more incriminating than anything, creeping wider once more. Well then. “Hasn't got as much to do with it as you would like, fam. There's only about… 15% of overlap.” Plus some change.

Maybe more, now that he thinks about it… because the disturbingly domestic (and even worse, occasionally comforting and enjoyable) shenanigans with the League have long outgrown the ‘meeting up with actual S-rank villains in my fake free time because spy lmao’ category. Rumi wouldn't buy that anymore, she's seen enough to know that he's full of shit.

There's a glint of a hunter’s in Rumi’s eyes… a hunter’s that has found fresh track. Her grin turns into a triumphant sneer. “So you do admit to seeing someone.”

The smile on Hawks’ face gains a streak of concern. “Please don't make me think about it in those terms,” he moans, furrowing his brows. “Any of the people I've been dealing with are freaks of nature.”

“So are we,” she notes, not missing a beat.

That earns a similarly fast fling-and-point of a pen in her general direction. “Word.”

She snickers. “Come on…! Tell me about that dreamy 15% that has you so pepped. I'm dying to know~”

He thinks about it for a bit. Then, the feathers of Hawks’ wings rustle, and he himself takes a gander around the restaurant; there's mostly heroes, sidekicks and managers gathered in the building in the first place, who are similarly disinterested in each other's dwindling lunch break times and private lives. While assessing the room, he's silently weighing his options as to how much he can say, and how he should choose his words.

“So… I've been roped into a kind of internship in the past months that I wanted nothing to do with, and am still hella iffy about,” he begins, keeping it just low enough for it to be not overly suspicious.

“Good start!”

“I know, right? Anyway… it's dirty work, but turned out to be tolerable, most of the time. The coworkers are all bonkers, but I've already come to the terrifying conclusion that I'm not all that different.”

“Took you long enough.”

“Hush, I'm telling your story…! Who you might be interested in, I think, is the contact person that keeps a close eye on me even today.”

“OOOH, this is getting spicy~ are they, like, twice your age? You are into older people, after all. Oh, and dude or lady? Other, maybe? You are being really cagey.”

“What did I just say?! Also, I'm not into older people. This peep is up to five years my senior, tops.”

“Never had to listen to yourself when going on about Endeavor, have you!? And see? You just admitted the peeper is older!”

“That’s fan rambling, and ever since I had to work with him, I have held my horses in check, hon. As for the other thing? Honestly, I never asked about their birthday or age, but I've been getting older sib vibes. Could be younger or as old as I am, for all I know. But let me fucking continue. SO… we've been getting along okay lately. Way too well, actually, considering the mutually hostile ~strictly professional~ gig we both started out with. Not that we're not assholes to each other still, but we are… like, frenemies.”

“Strangely mysterious person is already starting to sound like you.”

“…”

“Okay, Pot, okay!! Stop looking all disappointed and tell me about Kettle.”

“… Kettle will be a great stand-in name, thanks for the contribution. You are allowed to acknowledge this with a hum.”

“Mhmm.”

“Excellent. Back on topic… as you know, my yesterday… had been a thing.” For the first time that day, the smile disappears entirely.

Rumi hums again with a nod, which doesn't get shot down. From what Hawks was willing to share about family, it had been obvious that he wasn't on particularly good terms with his parents in the first place, but…

“Long story short, yesterday was also internship day, and I was in a pretty bad mood when we met. Tired, anxious, angry, you name it, I had it. Thankfully there's no news coverage, and I didn't want to bring it up, either… but Kettle… knows me well enough to tell when I’m faking it. And how to push my buttons. The prodding got the best of me, eventually; really, this irritating bitch can get under my skin with an efficiency you can only dream of… but anyway, I was so pissed... like, borderline feral, that even they were surprised. Which, in turn, made me feel like a wreck once I realized what I was doing. So they hammered the last nail into the coffin by putting on their calmest, most civil face, -a rarity, really,- to ask the single, logical question in that situation. And I caved. For a dreadful moment I honest to god thought Kettle would make fun of me, you know. What kind of number two hero has their mother stuck in detox every three months…? Fuck, if not for the bar fight, I wouldn't even know she relapsed two whole years ago already! But, uh… they… seemed to understand. We had a therapy session for peasants at my place, then. Kinda like what we have sometimes. And that's when it really got…” Tongue click. “… heavy.”

Rumi’s ears have been attentive and alert, but hearing this makes them part. She takes a second-long break; there's something that usually helps Hawks sleep a little better. And heart-to-hearts tend to push him over the brink, hell, some nights they do this just so he can get some rest. “… You cried.”

With some delay, he nods. “… I did.”

She lets out a tired sigh. “Managed to weird ‘em out, huh.”

“Actually… it ended up being a half drunk weeping contest for the emotionally constipated,” he muses, eyes staring into a scene from the past, located somewhere past the pen in his right hand. “They opened up a little to me, too. Which was new, but… comforting. I learned that while my mother frequents the station, Kettle’s mom has been hospitalized with a severe case of mental breakdown since they were a teen. They miss her… but cannot visit. They fear that showing their scarred face would make her relive the freak show that resulted in her being sent there in the first place.”

“ … Jesus. Both of you sound like the life of the party when running a hashtag-mood.”

The remark brings back the shadow of his happy smile. “I guess so. But, guess what?”

Hers returns as well; they reached the nice part. “What?”

“I ended up leaning onto Kettle… and them onto me. We hugged it out… and stayed like that for like an hour, the sniffling messes we were. And in the morning… I woke up in the arms of someone, warm and safe… sun shining into the room, little bastard relatives chirping outside. I could even smell fresh coffee being made someplace, coming from the open window. And that… that felt divine.”

Rumi takes a delighted sigh. “The life, bitch. That's… the life.”

“Yeah.”

They lie around like that for a few minutes, sprawled on the counter as the noises of the still busy restaurant creep back into their little bubble before it inevitably pops. Hawks breaks the comfortable silence then. “All in all… I admit that you have been right about me all along.”

Her feet bounce an increasingly impatient rhythm against the metal frame as her mood and blood pressure lift back to normal. “Right about what? You are a felon for not supporting pugs, an abomination for even daring to look at pineapple pizza, and an absolute disgrace for turning down ghost peppers! Be more clear, dammit.”

Hawks tosses the long forgotten pen onto the form pile and leans in closer, hiding his mouth with his hands from view. He breathes it in a whisper so low, only people with superhuman hearing or big ole rabbit ears could catch his voice right now. It’s time to make her day, too. “Rumi, I think… I'm hella gay.”

She reflexively does a little hop on the stool as a very high pitched “Holy shit…!” escapes her mouth, turning some heads. Seeing that it's the two of them up to their usual shenanigans, the few people return to their own worries and discussions.

It takes her inhuman effort not to screech like a hare on the spot; punching the air and gasping for it, she calms down eventually. Having found a semblance of self-restraint, she leans back down in, aggressively whispering to him: “First of all, told you so, and more importantly!! Bitch, you're in love, and didn't tell me?!”

As much as Hawks enjoyed watching her outburst, he finds himself sinking behind his arms now. The incessant grin is back in its full glory and is starting to hurt his cheeks, which have turned very pink in color. An unconvincing “nah” is the only thing he can muster.

Rumi breaks into some light-hearted cackling as she moves over, then gently peels Hawks’ defenses off of him to have a closer look. “Bruuuh…! You are in full rose textured shojo manga mode. That's adorable.”

There’s an attempt at rebuilding said defenses. “Shut it, you overgrown furry.”

She’s unperturbed by the lukewarm defensive taunt. “And you kinda smell like smoke from up close, too~ It’s your first love, right? Aaah, baby boy’s growing up, I’m so happy for you…!” With that, Hawks receives a spine shattering hug.

“Rumimyribs,” is all he can squeak before the gesture does more than just some joint popping. He’s had a near-death experience with these ever since the first time she did that, holy shit.

“Hee hee~ I didn’t forget you’ve got bones made of glass, don’t worry.” She pops back down onto her seat while Hawks gets over the scare. “Sooo... when are you gonna introduce me to your boyfriend?”

“It’s… just a crush, man. He’s… not my boyfriend…” Even thinking about it feels weird… and saying it… really is something else.

She nods. “He doesn’t know it yet! Gotcha.”

Siiigh. “Girl, I can’t just…” STOP, stop… hold the damn phone right there. Ending that sentence would birth more questions to dodge, and he’s not up for brain work at the moment. With a dismissive wave, Hawks restarts the answer. “Anyway, you've seen him already at the very least, so there’s that.” That's all she needs to know- they both know a number of people with fucked-up faces, she won’t admit possibly having missed him, and this… will destroy her.

“… well shit. Now I'll stay up at night wondering who the fuck it might be.”

Bingo. “You’re welcome.”

“Asshole,” she huffs, swatting his hair before settling for a good ruffling. “… say, baby bird.”

“Hm?”

“Want a drink? It's on me. Let's pop one in honor of your heart throb and first crush.”

... uh-oh. “… Rumi.”

“I hope you know this calls for some supreme shit… let me look for a good place nearby, for after this hell is over.”

She's already typing into her phone. Oh no.

“Rumi.” This does not bode well. He has so much shit to do tomorrow. And here’s this pile of junk, most of which he’s yet to have a look at…

“How’s a Zombie sound?”

“RUMI,,,”