#this is so silly goofy i cannot deal

[mcmuppet]

they're dorks (affectionate)

[the-way-astray]

holding out hope . . . don’t act like it’s set in stone . . . it’s not . . . yet . . .

(much ranting in the tags)

[redr0sewrites]

k. takami nsfw alphabet

🍊 A/n: wanted to do one of these for a long time hehe! also cannot believe this is my first time writing for hawks like,,,,

🍊 Cw: nsfw, smut, marking, phone sex, breeding kink, mutual masturbation, corruption kink, overstimulation

🍊 dividers

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the first word that comes to mind is definitely clingy. i think that after sex, especially with someone whom he's very close with emotionally, Hawks is really desperate for physical contact and intimacy. his aftercare game is okay, he'd put in the effort, but he prefers to just relax and cuddle with you and deal with any mess in the morning. i also think he'd prefer to be pampered a bit rather than do the pampering, but if you're too tired i do think he'd take care of you too. falls asleep as close as possible to you, often crushing you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i think on himself, Hawks struggles a lot with choosing a favorite, but overall i think its his hands. they're a lot softer than the rest of him, since he's always wearing gloves, and he loves that they give you so much pleasure. plus, i think he has like larger hands than most, and they're just very pretty (and he has prominent veins + a bit of hair on his knuckles urgrhrhrhr im deceased). on you, i think he's either a tummy or thighs type of guy. he likes resting on your stomach or thighs because his wings make it difficult to sleep on his back, and he also really enjoys how much your thighs and stomach tremble when you're overstimulated or about to cum. likes leaving hickeys there as well.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

honestly he'll cum anywhere. if you're just a hookup Hawks is pretty normal about it, he'll use a condom and call it a day, but if he's in an intimate relationship with someone i think he'd really like cumming inside or on your stomach or chest. seeing his cum dripping on your body kinda soothes those weird primal bird instincts he sometimes gets- i feel like he would occasionally get super possessive about cumming on you. he also really likes how wet you get when he's already cum inside a few times and can hear soft squelches everytime he thrusts into you, thats just like an oddly specific turn on of his.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

definitely masturbates to the thought of you, probably even before you officially get together. i don't think he's a big fan of porn, so Hawks pretty much only gets off using his imagination. has probably sneaked a few photos of you in a low cut shirt or tight shorts to use for... later purposes. the embarrassment and shame he feels about violating your privacy only turns him on more. in addition to this, Hawks has a v complicated relationship with morality and would probably get turned on by nefarious or risky acts like public sex or something of the like, simply because it would probably ruin his public image.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

experienced in hookups, but not in intimacy, if that makes sense. like sure, Hawks has slept with people, but hasn't had many long term or romantic partners. all this to say, he's experienced with fucking, but not so much with truly making love. either way, he's talented in getting you off, but probably not talented with specific kinks or holding eye contact n stuff- at least at first.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

basic missionary, mating press, or 69ing. he likes seeing your face and reactions, especially if you're in a serious relationship. however, he's also a certified munch and loves giving head so he drabbles in that as well.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

honestly it depends on his mood. sometimes i can see Hawks being very silly and taking it slow, probably when you're more comfortable in the relationship or are feeling especially tired or emotional. however when he's stressed or irritated he's more serious and less prone to joking around. also depends on how you respond, and if his silliness lightens the mood and makes you more comfortable, then he's damn well trying his hardest to please you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

amazing at manscaping. pubes are a little darker than the rest of his hair, probably curl too. he trims but doesn't shave completely, and has a really nice happy trail. probably spends a lot of time on self care,, in addition to this, he probably wouldn't care on whether or not his partner shaves, but would probably have a preference for more hair rather than none.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

at first Hawks isn't great with intimacy but gets better as the relationship progresses. at the start he's mildly awkward and moreso pursuing pleasure than emotional connections, but once he's sure that the relationship is serious than he himself is a lot more romantic. if he truly cares for you than you best believe he's going all out- from rose petals to candlelight, he wants you to know that he cares. i also think he'd be very sweet and considerate during the deed, like even at the start of a relationship he will always make sure he isn't hurting you or making you feel uncomfortable in any way.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

does it a lot. he has a pretty high libido, and he can't be around you all the time, and while he wishes that he could sleep with you whenever he's feeling horny it can't be helped that some nights are spent with him fucking into his fist instead. like ive said before, he's not a big fan of porn and would prefer to jack off to you or photos of you. HUUGEEE on phone sex and mutual masturbation, especially when he's away on hero business, and its so hot to hear him rasping and whimpering into the speaker about how much he misses you and wishes you were there.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

starting off strong, definitely marking. loves to mark you and be marked himself. wears hickeys with pride. also big on overstim, both giving and receiving. its just super hot to him to watch you squirm, but also likes to be fucked dumb as well. mild corruption kink, especially if you're super inexperienced, because most of the time he's probably the more experienced person in any sexual relationship. likes flustering you a lot. some more include praise, especially receiving, and also sensory play, both giving and receiving

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

prefers the bedroom, but would also not mind public sex or perhaps in a cramped space. likes the risk, but it's so inconvenient, especially with his wings. also a fan of bath or hot tub sex

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

lots of things. gets really horny around spring, again, bird instincts, but most of the time it's just you simply existing that gets him going. really likes seeing you in revealing clothes, especially when you're intentionally trying to tease him. big fan of thigh highs or garters, and crop tops that show your stomach. also when you touch his wings or feathers. that is probably the quickest way to turn him on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i'd say hawks is pretty experimental, but wouldn't want to do anything that he thinks would hurt you too much or make you uncomfortable. i also think he'd be ehh in terms of wax play or fire play for obvious reasons unless you really truly wanted to try it out, but other than that i think he's down for anything you would like to try.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

giver giver giver. as much as he loves receiving, Hawks fucking LOVES to give head, he's absolutely a certified munch and whether or not you have a pussy or dick he's sucking and slurping like its his last meal. loves how you taste, loves when you grind your hips against his face and chin, loves when you cum in his mouth, loves when your thighs squeeze his head. also fucking loves facesitting. please just let him drown between your thighs...

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

honestly his pace varies. when Hawks is pissed off he tends to be a lot rougher and filthier, but he also has a really soft n gentle side too. it depends a lot on how he's feeling and how you're feeling in the moment. i do think he has a lot of stress, especially prewar!Hawks, and so that definitely leads to a lot of rough sex. i also think he likes savoring the moment though, and obviously he loves you a lot so he wouldn't want to hurt you. sure, people say he goes too fast for his own good, but he's more than willing to slow down for you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves them. any and every chance he gets, Hawks is more than willing to fuck you. overall the mixture of both risk and passion is very appealing to him, and since he's often super busy, he appreciates any sex you can hve that fits your respective schedules. fifteen minutes before an important meeting? sure, he's got time to spare- he'll sit you on his desk and eat you out/suck you off until your seeing stars with a few minutes to spare.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

definitely big on risk, and is willing to try anything you want to try. however, a lot of his preferences depend on you rather than himself, and so he's also fine with being pretty vanilla in the bedroom as well. really likes teasing you in public or inconvenient places tho,,, half the hero community has caught you both making out at least once or twice

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

out of all the Bnha men he probably has the highest stamina. not only can he last a while, but he doesn't take long to recover after an orgasm. and, in addition to this, more often than not he's focused much more on his partners pleasure than his own so i really see him being determined to make you cum at least three times, if not more. overall he's got great stamina and he's very focused on your pleasure soo,,, A+ partner

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

probably never really thought about using toys on himself, at least until he started sleeping with you. you introduce him to a bullet vibrator and he cums so many times he's shaking n whimpering. when it comes to you, he loves using toys on you to tease you, but prefers to actually get you off using his own body. doesn't mean he won't use them, but prefers to make you cum himself. has a trusty pair of handcuffs that he uses a lot though

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

ohhh all the time. teases you both in public and in private, sometimes when he's not even horny and just for his own enjoyment. teases you a lot in the bedroom as well, and just. loves seeing you squirm. teases you a lot with his feathers too- like you'll be taking a casual stroll when all of a sudden a slim red feather is sliding under your shirt to rest against your chest,,,, how odd! i also think Hawks would tease you a lot unintentionally? like he's rubbing your thigh while he's driving or pulling you into a kiss by the neck and then wondering why you get so hot n bothered. his hand placement is peak, he's incredibly flirtatious even when he doesn't mean to be, and overall he's just. a huge tease. he's a total hypocrite though because Hawks gets soo pouty when you tease him. he's like miraculously surprisingly easy to fluster simply because he's not used to being the one on the receiving end.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

when he's more dominant i don't think he's as vocal as when he's submissive. when he's domming i think you'll hear a lot of groans and dirty talk but overall he's relatively quiet, however when he's subbing he moans and whimpers a lot. i also think he talks a lot during sex, like he babbles about how hot you are and how good he feels even when he's more dominant

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

his wings/feathers + back are very sensitive and a huge erogenous zone ! they're also very expressive and if you watch his wings a lot, it's easy to tell when he's worked up or horny simply because of little tells he has. however they can also be ticklish sometimes, so occasionally during sex he gets a little giggly because the its both pleasurable but also. hes ticklish.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's big, and very pretty. i'd say at least 7 inches, maybe 7.5 when he's hard. he's got a few prominent veins on the underside of his cock, and a very nice happy trail too. his tip is also a very nice shade of pinky brown.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

his sex drive is pretty high, not insanely so but to the point where he tries to sleep with you at least once a week, but if you're sex drive is very low he's fine with compromising. if you're sex drive is higher than his though? you're absolutely blessed because he's more than willing to fuck wherever and whenever. a personal hc of mine is that Hawks is like especially horny during the spring... bird mating season.... so be prepared. i just think its kinda funny

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

honestly it depends on how quickly you fall asleep. if you want to clean up before going to sleep and get some aftercare done, then sure he'll stay up, but if you want to stay in bed and cuddle and leave the mess till the morning... well he's out like a light.

i love these type of hcs SO much, i have another set for shigaraki and touya on the way.... anywyss ! hope u enjoyed!! PLS SEND IN BNHA REQS RAHH

[feyclowns]

a brief look at pixie biology

goofy guys. i like these ones. sillies.

most pixies are very short and stocky, with square builds. they're the smallest of the seelie

body hair is infrequent, near non-existent

males are ever-so slightly larger than females on average, though it hardly matters

pixies function very similar to fairies, they have near identical anatomies and also get inebriated from sugar

primarily eat fantastical beasts along with magic supplements

pixies grow up a little faster due to less time needed maturing their core systems. takes them about 1300 years.

pixies take very few genes from their non-pixie parent- a hint of eye color here, a darker skin color there..

despite their funky core systems, pixies, once given the magic-using tools they need, are just as adept with magic as fairies

they all speak with the same flat tone, but tend to have difficulty masking their expressions

they have an inborn talent for numbers and repetitive behaviors- they flourish in a group where everyone has a set role that they do over and over again.

each pixie is given a set role after their rearing period has ended. some pixies show the rare ambition to climb some ranks but most are generally comfortable with where Head Pixie puts them.

all fairy-based seelie buzz their wings but pixies are especially guilty of buzzing when agitated

pixies used to be quite rare, with small mixed families, usually employed by fairy companies to deal with paperwork and other tasks- librarians, attorneys, secretaries, etc

honorable mention: the curious case of Head Pixie

so many people cannot stand this guy.

this guy is weird. the council does not like weird. he is like, biologically, the biggest outlier for the pixie species ever

side note: my HP doesn't look as old as canon due to the way my fairies age (and pixies generally live longer anyway since they consume magic rather than produce it) but he is still, in fact, very old

fey dad, pixie mom. HP's pixie status was debated hotly for a long time due to the main factor that he had a functional central core- in fact, it was too functional; HP produces too much magic for his system to handle on a regular basis.

HP handles this in two ways; lots of offspring and lots of using his magic to power things. man, building a business empire is easy.

he's larger than the average pixie as well, by 7 inches (this makes him look huge)

all of HP's kids are normal pixies (barring the handful of fairy children)

HP is old. really old. he's about to hit a million. he's older than jorgen's nana. he's showing his age but he looks pretty good. his fey lineage and magic overproduction are the primary reasons for this, but he just likes to say he lives off black coffee and pure spite. he is staying around forever, baby.

[zomb-rabbit]

Can I be silly and goofy and do volley ball player reader again for Toby pookie :3333

-🐟

fishy u can always hit me w them volleyball reqs dont u even fret (also i put nsfw hcs in there for u :3)

[ NSFW ] 🪓 Toby Rogers x volleyball player! reader sfw + nsfw headcanons

SFW:

CUUUTTTIIIIEEEE

he tries so hard to be supportive i promise but oh my god he does not know anything about sports

boy was homeschooled for a LONGGG time and sports weren't really that much of an option given how most of the other kids treated him, and he just never learned how like. most sports work

BUT HE IS WILLING TO LEARN FOR YOU

thinks ur lil outfit is so cute tbh he can't get over u when ur ready to go

he tries to go to all the practices and games he can- he knows how much those things matter and he wants you to know he cares

he'll try and take note of all the things you were doing well (probably listening to your coach trying to figure out what the name of whatever you did is) and point them out to you

he's such a sweetheart about every part of it

he really does try to deal with the other people that are at games/practices, but you might notice he's standing off to the side if it's more of an iffy day for him

hes adorbs and loves u to the moon and back

NSFW:

hekshejehehHEJEHEHEHEHE

HES GOT SUCHHHHH A STARING PROBLEMMMMM

he's so embarrassed about it but he literally cannot help staring at how your legs look and the curve of your ass when you bend down or how your back flexes when you jump up to hit the ball or or or or

he absolutely tries to fuck you in more positions where he can feel your legs wrap around him and pull him in- he's such a sucker for how strong you are

YOUR SHORTS ARE GONNA TAKE HIM OUTTT that flimsy fabric that's BARELY covering you ???? and he's supposed to be normal about it ????? you're joking. there's been more than one occasion where he couldn't help himself and you two might have been a little late that day

some of these being late events happen even when he really tries not to- but when you're telling him about your plans for later while you're getting ready and see him staring your figure down, arms crossed over his chest and almost panting breaths, it's a lil hard to let it slide

if he left any hickeys, fingerprint bruises, any kind of marking from the last time you two were alone that was visible with your uniform and you don't try to hide it, there's gonna be double that as soon as y'all get home

most days he can't get over the fact that you're his, when you show him off he gets beyond flustered but he can't stop the mix of a fluttering but primal feeling he gets having you all marked up

sweet sweet boy is down so terribly for you

[goreinfested]

DREW DATING FEM READER HCS:

( hc request for @wrestlinghistorywithkay )

I personally think drew would be the MOST affectionate wrestler with his girlfriend

Constantly tries to catch glances at you whenever you’re doing something but if you meet his glance he’ll just give you a goofy smile and start looking at everywhere EXCEPT you, obviously he totally wasn’t checking you out.. why would you think that?

LOVES LOVES LOVEEESSS to give you bear hugs. (I mean c’mon he’s practically built to give the best bear hugs in the world )

He’d probably be like ‘ hello sweetie :)’ and just casually give you a gigantic bear hug

I don’t think drew would be a very possessive boyfriend honestly, I think he’d be more like ‘ yeah that’s by girl isn’t she pretty ?’ ‘ I got mighty lucky ‘

Obviously he would introduce you to everyone he possibly could backstage because I mean, who wouldn’t want to be friends with the most kind and sweet girl in the whole wide world ( he won’t introduce you to cm punk he’s gotta keep the bit going )

Drew is by no means shy when it comes to showing you to the fans either

I definitely don’t think it would be more of ‘showing off ‘ type of thing but cute things like taking a picture of you two on the beach and captioning it with something like ‘ my Guardian Angel 💘’

Calls you nicknames such as but not limited to: baby, dear ( that’s his favorite one), sweetie, and honey

When he’s annoyed at you he’ll refer to you by your normal name just so you know he’s had enough of your little antics

PDA is not a big deal to him at all

he loves to interlace his fingers with yours just so he can feel you close to him

Likes nose kisses but only before bed ( silly one I thought of)

He definitely drops hints about marriage to you quite often but in the weirdest ways. If he sees a married couple walking by you two he’d be like ‘I bet they’re married, don’t you think?’ As if you’d be thinking that at all

God he cannot STAND to have fights or arguments with you at ALL

‘ hey dear I know we’re not on the best footing right now but can we talk it out ? I’m sure I can make it right.’

He’d probably sit on the edge of the bed like a kicked dog while you looked at him sternly

Eventually things go well because they always do

Anything to make it up or make things right between you two

You are his world after all the most precious girl and who was he to not give your guys’ relationship his all?

I think his love language is definitely touch but more often it’s the smaller acts like hand holding, cheek kissing and playing with his hair while he drifts off to sleep.

( a/n: I hope you enjoyed :) I’m not SUPER familiar with him but he’s such a cutie and I hope I did you justice ! I’m fairly new to writing HCS and writing on tumblr in general so I apologize if it’s a bit underwhelming )

[mncxbe]

How do u think the bsd guys would help out if they had a daughter who started her first period?

Omg this is so sweet I cannot. I assumed that the daughter didn't know much about periods so I hope it's ok. The characters were also randomly chosen so if y'all want me to add anyone else lmk. Enjoy♡♡

First period◇

𝒗𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒃𝒔𝒅 𝒙 𝒅𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: good vibes/ silly/ fatherhood

°☆○

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

let's start off with our favourite glazed donut

this man knows about periods and what to do when his daughter gets one

if his partner isn't at home, he definitely calms her down and teaches her how to use a pad

Dazai is a goofy dad, so he surely makes little comments and affectionately calls his daughter "little ketchup packet", but if she has cramps he will be serious about it

brings her painkillers and something warm to put on the tummy and then tucks her in

9.5/10 overall experience

𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂

oh he knows what to do

still gets quite anxious when his daughter announces that she got her period

if she's really scared or stressed he tries to comfort her but ends up getting frustrated

Mr. fancy hat will teach his daughter how to use a tampon but he's not 100% sure he's doing the right thing

the two of them sit on the bathroom floor while Chuya's trying to read the prescription for painkillers (the text is too small and he gets angry cuz he cannot read properly sjsksksk)

surely opens a bottle of wine after the whole deal is done

8.6/10 experience

𝑨𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊

he panics a whole lot, more than his daughter even

immediately calls his partner and googles advice on how to deal with a first period

after two mental breakdowns he's ready to help: brings her sweets, buys her pads and they watch yt videos on how to properly use them

he's really gentle and does his best to reassure her and make her feel comfortable

8/10 experience

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

let's be honest he knows about periods, after all he has a sister

but he has no idea how to take care of someone who just got their period

he just simply stands there with a blank expression on his face, lowkey trying to suppress his anxiety before calling his partner or sister to ask for advice

he does offer to make her tea and watch a movie with her

uses Rashomon to get the things she needs from different rooms so she doesn't have to move too much

overall a 7.8/10 cuz he doesn't really know how to comfort her

𝑶𝒅𝒂

he's so chill about it

having brought up a number of kids already, he knows how to deal with his daughter's first period

teaches her all she needs to know + extra self care tips

Oda would make her stay in bed all day if the cramps are painful; brew her tea and bring sweets

offers to read or tell her stories to distract her from the pain

10/10 experience

𝑲𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒂

this man loves his schedules; anything that's out of the ordinary makes him spiral

that's why when his daughter called him at work, saying that she just got her first period and doesn't know what to do, he kinda panics for a second

nonetheless he quickly makes his way home and does his best to comfort her

after that, he explains the whole situation and shows her how to put on a pad, what medicine to take and teaches her tips on how to deal with cramps

9/10 experience cuz he gets too anxious

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓

just like Akutagawa, he doesn't really know how to deal with periods

he probably gives his daughter a nasty look at first like why does she expect him to help?

but still he explains the whole biology of it and reassures her that it's a normal phenomenon

makes her tea and, if she has cramps, attempts to take her mind off of the sharp pain, but ends up mentioning blood rituals that Russians used to practice💀

7.6/10 experience (bonus points if he asks his partner for advice)

𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖

he is utterly dumbfounded

asks his wife for advice; goes to buy her pads if there aren't any at home

he's lowkey proud that his daughter is growing up so fast

if she mentions cramps he surely prepares her a strange concoction that he swears will help ease the pain (it doesn't)

8.6/10 experience; he's really sweet and caring

𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂

he reacts so well

buys her those silly books about puberty, y'all know what I'm talking about

I'm pretty sure that Fukuzawa would own cat if he were to settle down, so he gently places it on his daughter's abdomen if she has cramps

"Oh, I heard that the frequency of a cat's purr has healing properties. I thought that maybe it could help you."

really gentle and caring; brews her tea or coffee, whatever she needs

also cancels his plans for the day and stays at home in order to make sure she's alright

10/10 experience

[arkhamjack]

CW for gore and suicidal ideation (TriMax Vol. 7) also Spoiler warning!

EDIT: I am a drama queen and just assume a lot of Trimax readers misinterpreted this scene bc I saw like only two people do it but I’m also using this as an excuse to yap about Vash and Knives’ personalities bc it was super interesting in this volume ok byyeee read on:

Is it just me or is the majority of the fandom under the impression that it was Knives who stabbed Rem?? Because it was actually Vash. Which I think says a lot about their actual personalities vs how the fandom perceives them.

Analysis under the cut!

In classic Nightow fashion, it's hard to figure out wtf is going on and you gotta read over it multiple times, but look:

After the discovery of Tesla, Knives faints and is placed in a little incubator thing or whatever and Vash laments the fact he remained awake to mull over the horrors. From this point on, Knives is not in the picture bc he's busy honk mimimi (which is actually something he employs as a coping mechanism throughout the story... his precious beauty sleep...)

Now, Vash is refusing to eat and lashes out at Rem, expressing his disdain for being stuck on a spaceship with all these nasty humans.

Rem once again tries to get Vash to eat, peeling him a fruit.

Vash lunges for the knife and attempts to stab himself, but Rem stops him.

Vash is locked in a reactive state - he's in shock and acting out. This is where I think ppl miss the mark in interpreting the twins and why Vol. 7 is so important.

Vash can actually be nasty as hell. He ain't all that babygirl. His silly goofy facade is a way of integrating himself into the human world sure - but it's also lying to himself. He's impulsive, stubborn, and dare I say arrogant with his Messianic martyr type shit. (EDIT: I’m being a bit harsh here… I mean yeah he’s the only person on Gunsmoke who’s got a chance against Knives but like getting up in townspeople’s business gets really annoying imo like I understand why he does it but man…that’s why we’ve got Wolfwood bc narrative foil and whatever… anyway)

Knives on the other hand, internalises everything. Though he may appear to be the one who lashes out, and yes of course he's also arrogant, but it's mostly projection. He is in a MAD state of denial. For all his talk of being a superior being, that humans are icky and should all perish, yada yada yada, he actually wishes for love and acceptance - he wants to be safe.

Obviously, his head is too far up his ass to admit it, and he's always too busy tweaking about how annoying Vash is and blaming Rem for everything to actually try and sit down and think of better ways to do things but ANYWAY

(You know who else's head is up their ass? Vash. The twins are actually so alike if you really study them!! Anywayyyy)

That was Knives' whole deal from THE VERY BEGINNING. Knives was the one to cry in relief when Conrad and the crew accepted them, not Vash. Vash was more like "ok cool! life might not be so bad! yipee!" and then Knives had to Big Fall about his internalised plantphobia or whatever etc etc.

I AM GETTING SIDETRACKED !! ok so

The stabbing occurs. Again, hard to tell it's actually occurring bc Nightow, but yeah Vash stabbed Rem. Not Knives! Bro has passed out for a couple days now lol.

More evidence it's Vash - Vash was the one to express feeling suicidal. Knives cannot express anything to save his life bc he's the king of internalisation and deflection and projection lmao. Also yeah he's still eeping.

Oh look! He rises! Completely unaware of the drama that has unfolded! Not that he'd care! He's set on a mission to hurl humanity to the dust bowl of Gunsmoke! Little scamp.

Ok take from all that what you will!

Thanks for reading <3

[dr-spectre]

The discourse surrounding Sonic movie 3 is some of the most infuriating shit i've had to deal within the Sonic community for a long ass time. It is just... oh my god man.

The amount of anger that can be generated within the community over two egg fellas dancing is kinda nuts.

Now listen, as a man who loves Sonic and especially Adventure 2, I'm gonna be for real, i do not like this all that much. I just don't like the idea of the man who in his first appearance was him in chains ranting about how he is going to destroy the Earth and then later getting executed via firing squad, dancing around with his grand son and being incredibly goofy for the sake of it.

"But it's a kids movie!!" So? That excuse is bullshit and you fucking know it dude, you know what else is made for kids? Watership Down, guess what that movie has.

A blood soaked rabbit. Yeah. A kid's movie has that.

You know what else is a kid's movie? Pinocchio, guess what that movie has? Silly light hearted moments and CHILDREN TURNING INTO DONKEYS AND BEING SOLD INTO SLAVERY!!!!!!!!! But the movie is still a classic and fine for children to watch, cause it teaches them important fucking lessons and themes.

I saw someone say that The Hunchback of Notre Dame, one of the darkest Disney movies ever made, a movie beloved by all, a movie with a baby almost being drowned, a mother being murdered near a church, a farm being burnt down, disturbing sexual themes, has the gargoyles and it's still a good movie. Yes, they have the gargoyles, BUT NO ONE LIKES THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE WHO LIKES THEM! THEY ARE JUST THERE TO ENTERTAIN CHILDREN AND THAT'S IT!!!! THE MOVIE STILL HAS TONAL ISSUES!!!

I'm not asking for blood and guts in a Sonic movie, I'm not asking for Shadow to bust a cap in donut lord's ass. I'm asking for a story with more weight behind it. When you are tackling Shadow's backstory, Maria and Gerald fucking Robotnik, you gotta take that shit more seriously. You just have to dude. And if you make shit silly, make it actually... idk... FUNNY?!?!? FUNNY FOR EVERYONE?? NOT JUST 5 YEAR OLDS?!!?!

Serious movies are allowed to have comedic moments to ease the tension, but they must be handled well and fit the overall story and theme that the story is trying to go for. If they are gonna show Shadow's serious backstory and then follow it up with Eggman and his 110 year old grand father dancing, or vice versa, it's not gonna work. It just won't work in my opinion.

"But there might be a twist and Gerald actually goes full on crazy like in Adventure 2!" WE DON'T KNOW THAT YET!!! WE LITERALLY DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING!!!! If it is true that Gerald DOES eventually go crazy and that goofy act is a facade to manipulate Eggman, then guess what, I WOULD LIKE THAT!!! I WOULD BE FINE WITH THAT!! IT WOULD MAKE REPEAT WATCHES MORE INTERESTING!! BUT WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CANNOT BE SO SURE!!!

"But it's Jim Carrey!! He's gonna act goofy!!"

Yes Jim Carrey is known for his comedic roles and him as Eggman is pretty good, but you know what else Jim is known for?

Like I'm just saying guys... he can do more emotional roles, he isn't just the "silly man" you guys think he is. Boiling him down to just one thing and that he can do ONLY one type of acting is so insulting and disrespectful to his acting skills.

Jordan Peele, a comedic actor, went on to direct horror movies like Get Out, Us and Nope, and those movies have some of the most craziest and most intense horror movie scenes I've ever seen in my life.

The same man who did this.

Directed this.

Stop boiling down creative people into just one role. It's so annoying.

"But the movie can balance seriousness and stillness!" THE MOVIE ISNT OUT YET! WE DON'T KNOW THAT YET!!!!!!!!!! THE TONE BALANCE COULD BE GOD AWFUL OR IT COULD BE ACTUALLY GOOD! Like how the most emotional and powerful scene of Spider-Man 2 leads into one of the funniest scenes of the movie, but it WORKS SO WELL!!! BECAUSE IT TIES INTO THE THEMES OF THE MOVIE ABOUT WANTING TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE VS GREAT POWER AND GREAT RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!!! SACRIFICING YOUR DREAMS IN ORDER TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!

"But Sonic Adventure 2 and Unleashed are goofy and serious!!"

My brother in Christ... Adventure 2 is not fucking goofy. It doesn't throw out referential humor, it doesn't target children only. Sonic doesn't reference google maps and we don't see Eggman dancing IN HIS DAMN BASE IN THE PYRAMID! The goofiest shit Eggman did was scratch his ass for five frames. And then an hour later Eggman pulled a FUCKING GUN ON AMY ROSE AND WAS READY TO KILL HER! WHICH LEAD TO ONE OF THE COOLEST SCENES IN THIS DAMN FRANCHISE!! EGGMAN THOUGHT HE WON IN ADVENTURE 2!!!

The goofy shit from Adventure 2 is down to the delivery of the English voice cast and the translated script, i promise you, you WILL notice a difference between the original Japanese voice cast and the English cast.

Sonic Unleashed is not goofy, it is has funny moments but they are very few and far between. They do not destroy the tone of the story because Sonic Unleashed is not trying to be overly dark or overly lighthearted, it's somewhere in the middle but it leans more into the lighthearted side of going on an adventure and exploring new countries with Chip. That is the focus of the story, Sonic and Chip. The Dark Gaia stuff is just a motivator for the player to explore new areas.

The comedy of Unleashed is between Eggman and that early Orbot SA-55, the humor is SA-55 poking holes at Eggman's plan and ego and it's written really well. It doesn't feel like dumb jokes made for just kids.

The crazy Dark Gaia serious shit is saved AT THE FINALE AND OPENING OF THE GAME!!! But it works because the rest of the story isn't OVERLY jokey and super lighthearted. There's barely ANY jokes to speak of in Unleashed, aside from Eggman getting hit in the face with a rock, Eggman smacking SA-55, and telling him to "SHUT UPPPPPPP!!!" At the end of the game.

"But movie Sonic is different from game Sonic!!" Yes, i know that, movie Sonic is a different character from the game Sonic we know, yes the tone is more targeted towards children, yes Sonic in the previous two movies made referential humor and Eggman was dancing. But even back then, even as a younger person, i still found it fucking cringey when Sonic and Eggman flossed. I found it lame as hell that a Sonic movie would include a fart joke. If teen me found it unfunny then I don't know if modern day kids are gonna find Sonic doing dated dancing funny.

Hell the dancing scene in Sonic movie 1 was better executed because of Agent Stone popping up at the end and that sudden cut to him, followed up by Eggman's scream.

This shit is just funny to me idk why.

When you have trailers that includes serious looking shots and making the audience believe that they are gonna get something different from the previous two movies, but in the tv spots and music videos, we see shit like this.... It's just... I don't know man.

Sonic movie 1 and 2 sort of got away with being more jokey and childish because those movies don't tackle serious subject matter. Sonic movie 1 is just a basic kids CGI live action hybrid movie, Sonic movie 2 tries to go further into the Sonic lore from the games but it isn't explored TOO MUCH! Knuckles' backstory is used to connect with Sonic's and compare and contrast the two, you know, two sides of the same coin sort of deal.

But Sonic movie 3 is tackling stuff from Sonic Adventure 2, a story with government cover up, memory manipulation (call it brainwashing and I'm gonna stab you /j), attempted genocide of the Earth, a prototype ultimate lifeform that's in constant pain and fueled by the anger of Gerald, a child getting shot, an old man getting killed via firing squad, and yet... The tone is gonna be the exact same as Sonic movie 1 and 2? Why?

And Sonic is still the same old movie Sonic from movie 1 and 2. It feels like there is no growth to him. "But Sonic has a flat character arc!!" IN THE FUCKING GAMES! NOT IN THE MOVIES!!!!! Sonic went through an arc, he WANTED something more personal in movie 1 and 2, a family, he wanted to not feel lonely after the death of Longclaw, yet despite going through a character arc, he doesn't feel more mature.

Why is he saying shit like "Konichiwhaaaaaaa?" It's not funny, it just isn't I'm sorry. Fucking hell.

This is definitely a negative take from me compared to how overly positive everyone is. People are defending this with all of their heart and dismissing people who say "hey i don't like this."

I think that the Sonic community has a toxic positivity problem, i know that it brings back bad times when people criticize Sonic, i know, trust me i get it.

But people make criticisms to see improvements, we wanna see content from Sonic that can better target all Sonic fans from all ages, not just children. Sonic never targeted just kids, it has something for everyone. I love Sonic, i love the blue rat, i really do. But Movie 3 has me very conflicted.

I'm still really excited for the movie, but i don't wanna be blinded by the hype, i don't want to say that this movie is gonna be the best thing ever, because i don't think it will be. I'm just hoping for an 8/10 movie. Something fucking GREAT!!!!

If you personally don't mind the direction of the movie then guess what, THAT'S FINE!!! IT'S OKAY!!! Just don't fucking come down my neck about me not liking it, saying that I'm wrong or stupid for having a vastly different take than yours.

Sonic is in the best position he has been in so long, he feels mainstream and beloved again. We are free from the mid 2010s and how dry it was. I'm happy where the series is at!!

Even if movie 3 doesn't deliver what i wish to see, at least Shadow Generations and Dark Beginnings gave me what i was looking for. An emotional tale that felt true to the characters i grew up loving and pretending to be as a little kid. (I pretended to run around as Sonic and Shadow as a kid, no that's not a joke.)

Also, Run It is a mid as hell song. It sounds like an ai trying to replicate the songs from 2015 to 2016. It sounds incredibly dated and has NOTHING to do with Sonic aside from "RUN it." The other movie songs had barely anything to do with Sonic, but Run It is on a whole other level LMAO!

If this is the credits song after Shadow dies or something, I'm gonna be pissed off. Just make it a song for the beginning of the movie, PLEASE!

[mochidolls]

now introducing . . . corporate!rafe !

uhhh, so this is a byproduct of binge watching industry for the past like two weeks… mdni por favor / brief mentions of masturbation & fingering + bot

now he’s not the y’know traditional multi millionare ceo of a big real estate firm daddy’s company who fucks his secretary from time to time (close enough but not quite).

corporate!rafe is a stocks bro —neck-deep in crypto, efts, and the kind of investments that make everyone else’s eyes glaze over. he’ll mansplain the basic principles of capitalism over lunch like you didn’t just close a deal worth more than his annual bonus. (rafe: 0, you: 1)

rafe’s favorite pastime is reminding everyone that he clawed his way to the top. him. not ward cameron’s money. not ward cameron’s connections. him. never mind that his “humble beginnings” included a trust fund the size of a small country’s GDP and a private boarding school education.

rafe is terrified of being nothing without his wealth and status. the dude is genuinely afraid that without the recognition, the promotions, the stock portfolios, he’ll be just another rich kid with a hollow sense of identity.

this is what drives him to undermine you: if you’re successful, it forces him to confront his own feelings of inadequacy, and god forbid, that cannot happen.

corporate!rafe has icanfixyou syndrome. in his silly little goofy brain, he is the one who has control, not you. the problem is, you’re fully aware of what he’s doing, and you’re only more determined to get under his skin. he keeps failing to win you over, and he doesn’t know how much it pisses him off. you don’t need him. he can’t stand it.

rafe has no idea how to flirt. his version of courting you is begrudgingly fetching your coffee order and getting it completely wrong. you like a hazelnut latte with just the right amount of foam? congratulations—you’re now the proud owner of a black americano that tastes like shit and the depths of a black hole. grim, i know.

and please don’t start to fantasise about him fucking you in the most nefarious of ways. quite frankly he was all too repulsed and blinded by the sheer eager need to be simply better than you to even imagine you in that light.

that is…until the hotel incident.

to summarise (and quite frankly not waste your time): HR’s genius solution for “team bonding” was sticking you two in interlinked hotel rooms. pure hell. he leaves his damp towels everywhere, his skincare products are obnoxiously expensive (and you definitely didn’t try his moisturizer when he wasn’t looking), and you’ve caught him singing jack harlow in the shower. loudly.

rafe had bare witnesses too many nip slips to be considered ‘normal’ around you. thus his little fantasies about you began.

you wore a bikini (a bit revealing for a work trip, but i mean…c’mon you’re in mallorca!) the bikini was a choice—your choice. rafe spent the entirety of the beach day trying to look anywhere but directly at you. that night however? a poor pillow suffered, fucked mercilessly and bred into (room service are going to have a ball cleaning that up!)

but…let’s not kid ourselves here, you weren’t less of a pervert yourself.

one single fateful night with his stupid gold heirloom ring glittering in the moonlight, lead to you clutching one of his beach shirts like a feral animal, babbling and praising his name into the soft cotton and wondering if the gold signet ring on his hand could double as a vibrator.

you think it’s a joke that everyone around you sees this mild rivalry between you and rafe? it’s not. it’s a full fledged fucking war. every small win you get, he has to match it. your first big client? rafe’s out there trying to snag a bigger one, even though it’s none of his business.

he hates that you’re quietly, secretly thriving, and the fact that he can’t quite figure you out drives him insane. you’re not his type. you don’t need him. he can’t stand it. he’d rather see you fail than admit he’s even a little bit impressed by you…maybe a little infatuated too.

your relationship with rafe fluctuates between clear disdain and ‘i want to fuck you and have your kids’ ism. he’ll try to play the role of “cool, unattached guy,” but everyone can see how much he carnally wants you.

he’ll make snide comments like, “i mean, it’s not like i’m some guy you’d bring home to meet your parents, but sure, you can always pretend i’m a secret you’re keeping.”

when rafe knows he’s gone too far and messed with you too much, he’ll offer you an apology— “look, i’m not sorry for calling you out, but i can tell you’re a little sensitive about it. so... i’m apologizing in the way that doesn’t undermine either of us. happy?”

he steals your favorite pens; you "accidentally" unplug his monitor before meetings. his powerpoints are aggressively over-designed, and you make sure to point out every typo during team calls. HR doesn’t even bother with your complaints anymore—they just schedule you for the same meetings so they can watch the fireworks. it’s childish, really.

on the surface, rafe oozes alpha male (threw up a bit there, excuse me). but underneath all that bravado? he’s a fucking miserable mess. he constantly checks his portfolio every 5 minutes to make sure his money is still growing. the real kicker? he’s terrified of you being smarter than him, which is why he’s always trying to “one-up” you. he knows you’re not impressed by his stupid wealth, and that drives him crazy.

[kooberryfields4ever]

of course first post has to be nsfw blog rite of passage…… my take on the nsfw alphabet :3 gonna go thru and edit a bunch of fics to start posting but until then have this !!!!! been thinking long and hard abt heeseung&02z …….. needed to get this off my chest rly

content warnings : major nsfw under the cut, cumplay, masturbation, piv sex, etc etc

MDNI !

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

i don’t see heeseung as swaying particularly dominant/submissive…… not necessarily vanilla but almost lazy in the way he has sex so i don’t see aftercare being a big deal to him

ofc expect the bare minimum: cleans u up, helps change the sheets, kisses n cuddles

heavy on the cleans them up.. ..… …. can’t help but think abt how much heeseung LOVES to see his partner covered in his cum, whether he finishes on ur chest, ur belly, ur thighs or ur pussy doesn’t matter to him he just loves to see it🤤🤤🤤….. .. … so yeah cleaning u up is a necessity almost every time

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

fav part of himself is his hands…… do i even need to elaborate

just loves touching his partner and why else would he find any other body part as good as his hands when his other body parts can’t grab a handful of ur tits/ass ????

fav part of his partner’s is drum roll plz………….. their tummy

when he’s eating u out he just can’t help but reach out n press his fingers into ur hips n his thumb into ur belly….. .. though he loves to cum anywhere on u his all time favourite is ur tummy, could get him hard again easily if he sees his cum pooling in and around ur bellybutton urrtgghhhhg

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i literally cannot see heeseung not loving cumplay . like come on

self-admitted jealous type ……… yeah it’s over ur getting painted with his cum and fucked full if u even so much as mention another man

messy with it, loves cumming inside but give him the opportunity to pull out and finish somewhere he can rly see it and it’s a done deal

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

watches league of legends porn . it’s miss fortune …. not elaborating.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i reckon he’s experienced enough to know what goes where and all that ….. would probs be able to be vocal abt what he likes

i can’t see him getting much time in his schedule to explore his sexuality much so count jacking off and enjoying subgenres of porn as a pillar for experience as well

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary DONT YAWN. just loves being able to bury his head in ur tits and fuck u slow and hard until he cums … and then guess what ……. ur tummy is right there

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i’d say he can be a bit of a goofball, i don’t see him taking sex too seriously

not necessarily the type to just crack jokes during but not opposed to having a giggle if one of u makes a silly noise or if someone walks in

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

trims but isn’t too fussed about it really, makes him feel manly when he sees his full bush. occasional groomer of the pubes

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

can be super romantic if he rly rly misses u but idk i don’t see heeseung as the sentimental romantic type much…… likes sex cos it feels good and its an excuse to look at ur tits

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

frequent enough . he is a libra after all

probs the type to get a bit bored on his day off and have a wank after going 3/11 on a league game

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

cum cum cum cum cum cum cum

like idk heeseung seems sooo messy to me during sex like if he eats u out he wants to see u dripping onto the sheets nd i don’t need to mention the cumming on ur body thing again ….

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his bed, he likes it best when ur both a little tired but too horny to sleep so he can just push ur panties to the side and slip in to fuck u slow until ur cumming around him

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

ur boobies . whether they’re out or under a shirt or small or big he just loves seeing them…. plays with ur nipples while u scroll on ur phone in bed, maybe pulls up ur shirt n sucks on them until he makes himself too horny to stop n he has to fuck u (and paint ur tits white)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything too public … likes having u to himself and when ur in the privacy of his bedroom/dorm he gets to make u all dirty, he can’t do that without getting arrested in public unfortunately ://

probs hard dom stuff …. maybe not too shy for a spank here and there but the idea of being rly dominant or degrading u or tying u up etc is just not for him

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

loves receiving, he gets to cum on ur face and tits which is always a bonus👍

not a selfish lover but definitely gets bored of giving head sometimes …. thinks quite literally with his dick like he needs to see it stuffed in u

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

i think heeseung is generally slow and sensual but if u asked he could fuck u faster n harder

he just loves how u clench when his strokes r slow and deep nd he can press against ur cervix without bruising u and ruining the fun

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies are not his forté ! he’s definitely not opposed to them but he prefers being able to take his time…. quickies mean sensible cumming and heeseung would rather wait…..

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i cannot see him as a risk taker at all, riskiest he would go is having u bounce on his cock in the living room while nobody else is home, but even then he’s just thinking abt how close his bedroom is and how easy it’d be to pick u up while ur impaled on his dick nd take u to bed :((

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

a sturdy 2 rounds if u guys haven’t fucked for a little while, he’s still young his refractory period is in training !!!!

particularly statistically more likely to want a round 2 if he’s a) not tired and b) can see his cum plastered somewhere on ur body (source is my thalamus) …… drives him crazy nd makes him almost desperate to fill u up as well

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

got gifted a fleshlight one time for his birthday but it’s just stayed tucked away in his wardrobe…. tried it once and it was just not as good as the real deal

would be open to using a toy on u for the sole reason that it might make u squirt and he is desperate to see u get that messy

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

gives in instantly . u just need to whip out a titty and he is a goner…. very very weak willed man…..

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

main vocalist like …. do i need to say more

prettiest softest moans uve ever heard ….. breathing into ur chest and whispering how close he is and how bad he needs to fill u up into ur ear

not loud enough for anyone but u to hear tho…. but that’s fine bc u like being able to have him all to urself ^.^

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

can picture him getting randomly horny while playing games while u lay on his bed …. pulls off his headphones to face u and asks u so nicely to come suck his cock while he plays … and of course u do because how could u say no to that face :(( he ends up losing his lane and going afk at base because he’s too busy watching u swallow his entire length like a pro . sorry to his team but the 15 minute afk ban was so worth it

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

not huge but not small, average

a good 5.5 with some juicy balls

circumcised 🙏

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

pretty high but not in the way that its hard to control …… like he just kind of just always wants u

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after he cleans u up he’s out like a light …… good luck tryna get him to wake up

just accept that ur tits are his pillow for the next 7 hours as he sleeps

[thefrogdalorian]

I know there is this widely held perception that Season 3 of The Mandalorian had silly moments and made some comically strange story choices, which I can totally admit myself. I mean the bit in 03x04 where they all scatter to eat, but Bo is allowed to remain sitting by the fire was kind of hilarious and blatantly just because they wanted a helmetless scene in that episode.

And I won't complain too much because more Katee Sackhoff on my screen is never a bad thing.

But come on! The Mandalorian has always had goofy, unserious moments that if you contemplate for more than a second, your head threatens to fly off because of how daft it can be, at times.

For instance, in 1x04 Sanctuary, when Din removes his helmet on Sorgan in froNT OF AN OPEN WINDOW?!!?!

I know they did it for dramatic effect, to demonstrate how long he has worn his helmet, but if one of those kids looked around it would've been CURTAINS FOR HIM. Okay it might have been dark, sure, whatever but I cannot imagine someone as devout as Din would even take that risk! The Creed is everything to him.

Also, this man who we have seen for an entire season being such a competent and capable warrior has apparently never had a jetpack before Chapter 8. The best bounty hunter in the parsec cannot fly?! Then, immediately after getting it from The Armorer, with no training, he conveniently uses it immediately to blow up a TIE fighter and (seemingly) defeat Moff Gideon?!!?!

Not to mention how silly it is Gideon survived that initial skirmish... and probably survives in Season 3 too but we'll deal with that when it comes to it.

It isn't just Season One, either. There are also some parts of Season 2 which leave me scraching my head slightly, like in The Believer when the terminal needs to scan a face. Not a specific face, just any face. It doesn't make much sense. Again, not complaining, more Pedro Pascal on my screen is never a bad thing.

Not to mention how convenient Din getting the beskar spear was right before his duel with Gideon for the Darksaber. A weapon which is coincidentally one of the few which can parry the sacred blade!

Anyway, I don't hate any of these moments at all, I just feel like fans used to be so much more lenient.

Of course season 3 has some hmmmmm moments too, but there have always been questionable decisions right from the start. Star Wars fans are always going to nitpick and it mostly comes from a good place. I just wish there could be a bit more of a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ attitude sometimes.

Nothing is perfect, but this show has had so many enjoyable moments and such compelling characters that I can let some silliness slide. Star Wars should always be a little goofy and silly and for me, long may that continue!

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

AS MY TREAT I WANT THE MOST SILLY, GOOFY AAA HCS OF THE PAPA'S.

Like idk Copia used to have to wear earplugs because Terzo snores so loudly it's literally obnoxious or something like that.

“aww my middle finger likes you”

❤︎ synopsis — this is pure bullshittery and crack in its finest form with the papas. they can be a little crazy at times

pairing: all papa emeritus’ x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦ , fluff ✿ (if you squint)

a/n: this is a toast to my bestie for being an absolute chad. i was high making these, enjoy.

cw: terzo is a warning enough on his own. that’s it.

▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆

➵ papa primo

he’s the oldest so he constantly has to deal with the shit from his psychopathic brothers

like— primo is basically THE mom friend, except he’s the mom for moe, larry and curly over here

(moe, larry and curly being secondo, terzo and copia)

he constantly had to hold back secondo from beating the shit out of terzo because terzo made fun of him for being bald

“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR WEAVE—“ “SECONDO NO—“

bro unironically listens to weezer

like full out busting down a just dance move to this music

you once caught him dancing to it, and he stood there frozen like the man emoji

he told you to never speak of it again and you just nodded, trying to plague your mind of that horrendous image

primo cannot cook for shit too btw

you were once out and asked him to make something before you got home to the ministry

the minute you walked in the door, the kitchen stove was on fire and all of primo’s ghouls were running around and screaming in infernal about the fire

meanwhile, primo stood there not knowing what to do, looking like the man emoji AGAIN

it’s basically his trademark at this point

“…. primo what the absolute fuck—“ “it wasn’t me i swear.”

while primo’s ghouls were still learning english, he once said “fuck you” to you in a very sarcastic way

but the ghouls thought it was how humans said “hello” in english

so they went around to the other siblings of sin, and sister imperator saying “fuck you” to them while leaving all those poor people offended and dumbfounded

you smacked the back of his head after that and forced him to apologize to his ghouls and to the siblings of sin (plus imperator of course)

and he gave the ghouls extra scritches too

primo also has the dad sneeze

like he can send another universe to the next tomorrow with his goofy ass sneeze

he once sneezed so loud he scared copia and caused him to bang his head on the wall

it was kinda funny tbh

anyways yeah note to self stay 10000 feet away from primo if he’s on the verge of sneezing

it’ll save your life

┅✦┅

➵ papa secondo

secondo has two moods

“oh my satan you’re all so stupid i literally hate you all” and “tee hee i’m a girly girl”

like ??? what’s this guy on???

this guy has the sass of a high school history teacher

like secondo’s being so deadass about whatever he’s saying but he’s always fucking saying it like—

“c’mon now, you literally have the style of a hairless roach 💅”

it confuses you a lot of the time, really

secondo has his moments where he’s sweet, but for the most part he’s pulling up the middle finger to everyone he sees

it’s a habit

someone could say hi to him in the nicest way possible and he’ll just grumble and flip them off

it’s not even that he’s trying to be mean, it’s a habit (a very bad habit)

you once got tired of it and smacked his hand, when he flipped you off. so it’s safe to say he no longer does it

at least to you

secondo is an absolute menace to his brothers

with primo he’s chill because he’s the eldest, but with the younger two he’s got no chill

definitely made copia cry at some point during his younger years

he later got his ass chewed out by you and primo, because no one makes copia cry

secondo’s literally so bossy it’s kinda funny

he’s always one flip flop away from smacking someone every time someone pisses him off

him and terzo are BEEFING all the time

and it’s over the stupidest shit too

“you’re stupid.” “well, you’re face is stupid” “you’re both stupid, end of the discussion.”

you once switched out all of his skull face paint for a pink barbie pallet

so secondo was walking around lookin’ like hello kitty emeritus and everyone was trying so hard not to laugh

even his ghouls were struggling too

“… secondo—“ “not. another. word.”

┅✦┅

➵ papa terzo

bro’s the fuckin’ definition of fruity

you thought secondo was girly pop?? wait ‘till you see terzo, he’s fucking extravagant

will literally show up in the grocery store lookin’ like a character ripped straight from criminal minds

like— he has to make a show EVERYWHERE he goes. he likes to stand out

terzo is also the type of man to wear skirts and dresses because he knows he’s hot shit and he devours every fit he puts together

he shows off that waist frfr

“… terzo what the fuck—“ “shut up you know i’m sexy and i’m going to show it.”

if you wear skirts or dresses he’ll definitely ask to borrow them

he definitely passed down his fruitiness to copia

and to his ghouls

he scams kids on adopt me and has a good laugh every time because he likes to see people get mad at him since he stole their hella expensive pet from them

primo told him to quit it because what kind of satanic pope scams poor little children on a roblox game?

as stylish as terzo is, he cannot do his hair and makeup to save his life

he’ll usually ask you to do it for him wherever he has to perform or do public events, which is why his face paint is simple compared to secondo and primo

it gives you two bonding time though and it’s cute

he once watched the pinkie pie smile hd video and was traumatized for a few days

like he straight up locked himself in his room and would not come out unless you convinced him to do so

during an after party after a concert ritual, he got so wasted and almost kissed omega

like you had to PRY this man off of the poor ghoul, while omega stood there unaffected (hehe tall buff demon boy)

terzo is the shortest emeritus and none of his brothers will let him live it down

ESPECIALLY copia, since he’s younger than him

terzo almost kicked him in the nuts because of that

but that definitely was a stab to his already massive ego

you reassured him that there’s nothing wrong with his height even though you found some of the jokes his brothers made funny

live laugh love terzo

┅✦┅

➵ papa copia

copia doesn’t know what he’s doing half of the time

like he’s just given a mic and he just wings a performance while the ghouls on stage are fucking around and going absolutely feral

out of all the papas, copia legitimately treats his ghouls like his own kids

he feels like he’s getting more grey hairs every time he has to stop swiss from fucking his own guitar, or sodo and phantom from fighting about cheese sticks

you sometimes help copia do ghoul-sitting and it’s just chaos. you’re literally their second parent

copia and you = parent duo for the era iv ghouls

he unironically owns a lot of funko pops

and he keeps the one of himself on a special pedestal in a glass case for safe keeping

though secondo almost once knocked over the case and he was three seconds away from smiting a bitch

you once were looking for copia because you wanted to ask him something and you found him in a ritual room

except the ritual was that he surrounded himself with a bunch of rat plushies and he was on his knees in front of a picture of a rat with a tiny crown

you were so confused, and he refuses to acknowledge what that was

“…. copia i—“ “you didn’t see anything.”

he fucking washes himself with dish soap and laundry detergent

this man is going around smelling like dawn dish soap and it’s so weird

it’s not that it even smells bad??? it just smells so interesting and strong you swear you’re in a fever dream

copia is an avid mitski fan

definitely cried his eyes out like a little bitch when he first listened to “the land is inhospitable and so are we” because he couldn’t get over how sad “my love mine all mine was”

radiates theater kid energy

but like— the kind of theater kid that is just passionate about theater and is very giddy when people ask about it

when he started his first meeting as papa he got so nervous that he straight up started the meeting with the word “mushroom”

like it’s so random ??? but it made the ghouls and you giggle so it somewhat worked out ??

copia is a little silly

▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆

[viablemess]

I have a lot of feelings about the Durin Family, Fili in Particular

---Howdy folks it is that time of year again where i go absolutely feral for Fili Durin. He is underappreciated and tumblr has addressed that but i feel an URGE to add to the discourse so here I am. This post is not done, fyi. I will add more to it later.

It's 10pm/22:00. I just got home from class. I'm waiting for my ramen water to boil. There is a fireplace and some holiday lights. Let's have a (fireside)chat.

First of all, the constant tying of Fili and Kili together?? Like I get it. Merry and Pippin parallels. I love parallels (looking at you, George), but come on. Chill, just a tad. I know Tolkein didn't give you much to go by, but he didn't even write tauriel into the books or Bolg and yall ran with that anyways. Use your creative brains, pls, I'm actually begging you.

ANYWAYS. Have them develop separately even if only a little. Kili is the younger one, literally viewed younger bc he has the smallest itty bitty beard. He is not the heir, he is the spare, and could have some deep rooted personal insecurities about that as a result. He may feel that he deeply has to prove himself to Thorin bc he does not have a set role in the future like Fili does. Kili gets his romance with Tauriel, which--khgf;ushfw;e uneneccary, but I can appreciate the attempt to broaden the target market and appeal to a romance audience even if the previews did not hint at that happening at all so it would not have been a marketable trait per say but I digress. Again with the parallels of forbidden romance, poor Legolas still does not get any, we know, he was not even in the books really either, let's move on.

Kili is babied by the company, needs to prove himself, his mother made him promise to return to him so he is still deeply in the "coming of age" side of things (a lot of the company is, but that's a topic for another word vomit fireside chat). He begins to realize that he might like elves which goes against his family and he was already the spare, might as well go all in and fall in love with an elf. Fine. I can deal with that. But let's see more of Kili messing up, more so than just the trolls. Let's see him make silly goofy mistakes more. The company always tries to keep him out of the line of fire by making him an archer (heh) and keeping him off the front lines. They do everything to protect him, bc Dis is a terrifying woman, ansd if she made Kili promise to return to her, dammit, the company will return him to her if it is the last thing they do. Kili likely spends less time with Thorin and Dwalin than his brother, so here he is, questioning his own self worth and if he belongs in the party and his own abilities while coming of age and sticking out from his family even more, so why not rebel a little? why not be an archer which is not as glorified, why not consider shaving to meet cross cultural beauty standards, why not date the elf (dammit, I'm convincing myself for Tauriel's presence and I hate that). He's trying his best and messing up along the way, and is INNOCENT. Completely. He is aware of his ancestry and what happened, but he and Bilbo are the two being narrated to when telling of the Durin family history, and as a result, the differences in dwarven / hobbit culture could be explored further. Thorin has a little kiddo to watch out for, and maybe is softer around, because even Thorin knows Kili is young, maybe even too young to be here but if they didn't let him come he would have snuck after them, so we get to see a more forgiving, family-man Thorin who we do not see anywhere else (and yes we get that at the end of the movie but I'm getting to my critique of the (I almost called it a keldabe wrong fandom) forehead touch with a name I cannot recall later).

Onto his brother. Fili is the heir, okay. So, that means that he is likely raised very differently from Kili. Whereas Kili may have had some time to play and be a kid (as much as they could in the Blue Mountains as refugees, anyways), Fili likely was given no such privilege. He followed Thorin around like a lost puppy, watching his every move and trying to imitate it, because he knew he would have to do Thorin's job someday. Even if Thorin did get married / have a kid / etc there would likely still be a window where Fili was in charge before Thorin's kid came of age, and as the years went on, the chances of that happening diminished, and so Fili threw himself more and more into his crown-prince-studies. Maybe a little obsessively, just like his uncle, who had practically stepped into the role as father. Because Fili thought he had to be Thorin. Thorin, meanwhile, saw the King that Fili could be, and that King was so much better than him. Fili grew up humble as a result of them all being refugees, something Thorin did not have to learn until much later and even then he never fully got it. Fili was kind, because he saw the suffering of his people, and understood how large of a difference a small act could make. Fili also had the teachings of Thorin drilled into him, because Thorin's problem was that whenever he saw Fili, he also saw Frerin. Frerin was Thorin's younger brother, just as blond as Fili, and (I'm assuming) played a roll in Fili's name (both starting with F). Frerin died at the Battle of Azanulbizar, and Thorin remembers that battle, he remembers losing his little brother. He can understand the fear that Fili feels whenever the company encounters a fight because he has felt the same in the worst of ways. But, because Thorin understands, he pushes Fili to be better than him. Even if that pushing is too much, too hard, too fast, too young--Thorin knows that Fili can be better than him, and Thorin does not want Fili to suffer as he has suffered, so he does everything in his power to prepare Fili for what is to come, and because Thorin loves him, that is all he does. He pours that love out as motivation and pushes Fili to do more, do everything, and do it better than he did. Fili, being young, does not realize this. He just sees it as Thorin preparing him to be king, and quite brutally at that, but Thorin is the closest thing he has to a father, Fili is not going to question it, not for anything, except for his little brother. And that just hurts Thorin, because he knows that, had he had the chance, he would have died to save Frerin at Azanulbizar. He knows Fili would do the same for Kili, but they are both so, so young. Thorin fears he could lose them both in one go, if he is not careful. So he is harsh, he scares them, he is forceful, because they do not have time for care and coddling, that won't keep them safe.

Whereas the company sees Kili as carefree and fun, Fili is cold, like his uncle. He is stone, and observant, and polite. He has to be Thorin, AND everything that Thorin is not. It is an impossible task, but he has to try. That is what is expected of him, not just by his mother and uncle, but by the entire people that is behind him, waiting for him to ascend to be king. He does not get a choice. The only one who can pull him out of that rut is his brother, with whom he actually feels like he can be what he is -- barely older than a kid.

Im gonna let that sink in for a second. They're CHILDREN.

anyways.

So, Kili gets his romance plot. It's cute and it parallels. And I've established that Kili must prove himself, and Fili will bend over backwards to make Thorin happy, which likely also extends to Dis, his mother.

I imagine Dis gave Kili the river rock to come back home, and she told Fili "be safe, don't be stupid, etc etc" but HIGHLIGHTED "take care of your brother", and Thorin does the same in the movies.

So, when Kili galavants up the bridge to open the gate after the party does a little slip and slide down the river, Fili naturally goes with. He sees that Kili is about to get shot. And Fili, who knows above all else he has to be king and he has to take care of Kili, just does the normal heroric thing and jumps in front, and he gets shot.

He is chastized for it, for being stupid, but overall they both are thanked for getting them out of the mess, and there is no time to waste because the company has to leave, and Fili (like what Kili did albeit maybe with more conviction) will not let others help him, or show weakness. So Fili continues on, poisoned, and Kili has the guilt of knowing his brother took an arrow meant for him. Fili must suffer the consequences of being a hero, and Kili must suffer the consequences of being the youngest, and feeling guilty for not taking responsibility for his own actions.

This all boils over to a fight where Kili tells Fili that "I made the choice to go up there, I didn't ask you to intervene!" because dammit Kili wants to be treated like an adult and FIli just took that away from him, again.

Fili, naturally, retorts, "I just did what I had to, because you know what? mom didn't tell me to come home--all she told me, all everyone ever tells me--is to take care of you! So I don't matter, not to this family, not in the same way you do. You're a son. I'm a prince."

Which, ouch. Slap in the face to Kili, and maybe the company overhears. Kili feels slighted, but also maybe is starting to understand, he can be a kid, Fili cannot. And Fili, meanwhile, is about to break from the weight of expectations that feels heavier than the lonely mountain ever could.

So, Kili stays with Fili when they get to Bard's, because it is what Fili would have done for him. Thorin is pissed, but lets it go, because Kili isn't Fili, and ouch, again.

I imagine Bofur helps quite a bit, he has a kind soul and listens better than most, and while Fili is delirious with fever Bofur talks him through it. Kili gets to be more coherent with Tauriel, and we get to see if their relationship actually holds up outside of a "she saved my life I love her" style of interaction which bleh is cliche as all get out.

and PLEASE when the dwarves do get out of Bard's house, they get to actually help Bard deal with the dragon. I read a fic a long time ago (if I find it I'll link it and the author below) where Fili had to be Bard's arrow anchor instead of Bard's son and I just chef's kiss. The dwarves who are left get to help the humans, and they feel more sympathy for them. Maybe they witness more death, and so when the dwarves do turn their backs on the humans later, Fili, Kili, Bofur, Bifur & crew are like "wait wtf they have suffered enough" unlike their future indifference we see in the movie.

and THEN all the dwarves arrive at the mountain, and Fili and Kili actually get welcomed home like the family they ARE, but it's stunted, because something is wrong with Thorin. He is glad to see Kili and Fili, but barely spares them a glance. They've heard the rumors and stories, of gold sickness. They begin to wonder, and we get to see them talk (probably with Bilbo) about the concept in secret where everyone is looking for the arkenstone. We get to see Kili with his hero worship refuse to believe Thorin would fall under a gold thrall. We get to see Fili, who is afraid of becoming like Thorin, too scared to enter the treasury unless immensly pressured to do so, and even then someone is always with him, because he worries. He still holds the ruby Thorin threw at him, and he keeps it in his pocket. He holds it so tight the edges cut his palm, and the pain seems to distract him from the wealth that surrounds him. I always wondered if Thorin gave Fili that ruby because he was the heir, or the only dwarf with so much gold about their person, with his hair. It was what Thorin saw first, not because it was his nephew, but because he looked like the very thing that already clawed Thorin down into his own demise.

AND NOW the war starts. and this needs to be another post bc ffs I'm losing my shit this is much too long.

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Epithet Erased (webshow & lite novel) | Ace Attorney (video game series & anime)

[This poll was made by silly mistake on the part of the tournament runner, who misread the bracket. Sorry! It won't count towards the overall tournament. Followers have voted to make Gio/Molly PPP's mascots if they win tho!]

Giovanni Potage & Molly Blyndeff:

1. THEY’RE SO SILLYYYYYYY i love them. they’re such a prime example of friendship with an age gap in media, which, i think needs to happen a bit more. i have friends older than me! i have friends younger than me! and also they’re just. goofy. silly 2. Would any friendship bracket truly be complete without this dynamic duo? She’s a serious an disillusioned elementary school student, resigned to her miserable lot in life after years of neglect and doing her family’s taxes. He’s a wacky and optimistic teenager turned supervillain, here to sweep her away from her abusive family. Together, they commit CRIMES! 3. She is an anxious child who has the power to dumb down noises or impacts to help her deal with the literal everything in her life, as she has to balance school and her family’s toy store, especially as her father and sister seem to prioritize their own selves and not care about the family as a whole. Molly is like 11 or something and has to do her family’s taxes! He is a villainous mastermind!…well, he says he is. In actuality, Giovanni is a captain in the Bonzai Blasters, with ambitions of being promoted to Vice Principal…or even Associate Justice or Valedictorian! (Yes. This is how that system is organized) But unlike the rest, he prioritizes the wellbeing of his minions above all else. He’s comfortable with his masculinity, as he knits for his minions and packs them all some soup in case they get hungry. Oh! He also has the power of soup. He can make soup, make steam of soup, and every 13th physical hit from him deals critical damage (that has nothing to do with soup. It’s just what he does). After a heist gone wrong, these two meet, and Giovanni adopts Molly as one of his minions (giving her the minion name “Beartrap”, on account of her bear hoodie. She likes bears). Together, they thwart/do a heist and steal a valuable amulet. Giovanni also distances Molly from the Banzais when the cops show up, so she will not have to worry about legal troubles. Not spoiling much about the book (Prison of Plastic, go read it), but Giovanni continues to stand up for Molly against her family, who continues to write her off. He tries to get her sister to connect with her and soften up. He can’t do much with the dad because he sucks. Giovanni makes sure Molly knows how cool she is as a person and that she doesn’t let herself be walked all over by other people. He helps her stand up for herself, and in turn, she helps him with crime.

Maya Fey & Phoenix Wright:

1. Quite frankly I don’t think they will win. They are constantly being tormented and experiencing the horrors and this poll would be no different. 2. they literally cannot die no matter what hell canon puts them through. fall off that bridge n cliff to a deathly boy! get kidnapped like 4 times girl! when she gets kidnapped like the first time, they had to make a new sprite for Phoenix coz he didn’t look devasted and depressed enough. Power of friendship though! and she is OKI! :) 3. The most iconic attorney and assistant pair in the series. Phoenix canonically ran onto a burning bridge to try to save Maya when she was in danger. His call with her got cut off once and he left the country to go make sure she was safe. She’s been kidnapped twice to be used as leverage against him and both times she was more worried about him than herself. She once jumped in front of a taser to try to protect him. He’s also defended her from murder accusations like four times. Their relationship defines the original game trilogy even more than the Wright-Edgeworth relationship does. Other Ace Attorney games wish they could replicate this dynamic. They got added to a fighting game as a single unit where they work together to fight. They both think they’re the reasonable one in this friendship, despite neither of them actually deserving that title.

Note: This blog is run & followed by aromantics. Insisting any pairs are ~actually romantic~ will not only cause you to be blocked on the spot, but you’ll out yourself as someone not safe to be queer around. No one wants to hear how stupid you look with those shipping goggles on.

[gold-rhine]

For the ask game :tell me why you love nuevi or kaeya! Feel free to talk A Lot I like your long posts

i also love reading my long posts, i wish i wrote them more asdfghjk its hard for me to just talk unspecifically about character without like pointed theme bc to me it feels like everything is obvious and everyone understands same things, why am i spelling it out.

anyway, KAEYA. my prettiest cursed princess. noble daughter of the fallen aristocratic family with generational curse coded. jon snow AND daenerys targaryen vibes at the same time. why noble daughter? bc instead of how heirs of nobles are kept close and taught to rule, his family treats him like pawn, like currency, his fate determined at his birth with no agency, sent away to another family he has to fit in. he's not a bastard, but he is half blood, and he cannot return. he's brother to diluc, but not equal, no matter how much they get along, like jon to robb stark. dawn winery is not his home, he's only welcomed conditionally, when diluc allows it. told to be "last hope", but what he's last hope of is a rotting cursed shambles of hubris. but even with how badly he was treated, he's still torn with loyalty to them, with duty, he still tried to ran away to khaenriah as a kid, just like dany wants to go to westeros. terrible prophecy hangs over him and he knows it. we don't even know if alberichs were really regents or if clothar is just delusional and sees himself forming abyss order as "regency"! he wants to walk off the stage, but he can't. and even if he could, he won't, not in the end, because against his will he still cares about people left on that stage who do not know what they are in

and he's coping with all of that by not letting people close even though he's lonely bc that curse and prophecies hang over him, bc he learnt from diluc he will not be accepted unconditionally no matter how loyal he is, no matter how good of a friend and brother he is, no matter how much punishments he takes for diluc and how he follows him like a shadow. he tried so hard to be a perfect child in dawn winery, polite and sweet and it didn't matter in the end. and now he's hating himself for secrecy and underhanded ways he was forced into as a child and deeming himself bad, finding ways to blame himself even for doing good deeds bc he's such a manipulator, treating relationships as transactions of favors to keep score, to keep in control.

mask worn for long, it grew into him and is impossible to take off now. "and they say my charm is fake" he IS naturally charming, he just had to learn to use it as a weapon. he IS sweet and interested in people, he just had to learn to get profit out of it. the worst thing he could be is himself. sad adult with a fake smile. and at the same time he's proud, he's talented, he's funny and sarcastic, he likes goofy jokes and slipping clever metaphors into silly stories, he likes writing books for people he cares about with advises on how to solve problems and deal with people, and also likes telling stories and can improvise a monologue on a stage. he should have been an actor and a writer, but duty to one father threw him into mond and duty to the other locked him into knights, so now he's just miserable, he's a hedonist, a cynic, he can't have real connections, so he will take pleasure and attention and use it for his greater means, he's coping with substance abuse, but he is so paranoid he will not be caught actually drunk bc that's weakness. he wants to belong so much, but think he's not allowed to. traveler finding him in the shadows after he tries to leave community event HE organized and dragging his reluctant ass by hand is THE theme for them tbh.