#this is self-indulgent fluff
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Can I
It is night in Jrusar, and Imogen tells herself that this should be like any other night in the Windowed Wall. Because they’ve done this so many times. It shouldn’t be different. Even if Ruidus is hanging fixed in the sky casting its red glow over the world, none of that is visible from their room, with the curtains drawn and the lone window facing the wrong direction anyway.
So she brushes her hair, pretends it's a normal night, and Laudna busies herself tucking in Pâté and Sashimi. While Imogen arranges the sheets for sleeping, Laudna fills a flagon with water to leave on the nightstand, and that too, is exactly the same as always.
“Goodnight,” they say in unison, each with a faint half-smile for the other. But when they put out the lights and climb into bed, Laudna leans over, kisses Imogen on the cheek, and that is different.
Before Imogen can react though, the room is dark, and Laudna is settling into her side of the bed, pulling the blanket over her shoulders. Imogen’s pulse pounds in her head as she slips into the sheets, fights the urge to slide even closer to Laudna than usual. She hates feeling so needy.
The house is quiet, Zhudanna having long since retired, and Laudna’s slow breathing barely audible. But each exhalation from Laudna still makes Imogen’s pulse more intense.
She doesn’t know how long she stays there, unmoving, counting Laudna’s breaths, thinking of covering Laudna’s mouth with her own (just like before), trying to figure out if Laudna is laying nearer or further than usual. It’s not a particularly wide bed, and there’s no warmth seeping across the sheets, but Laudna’s never warm.
And Imogen thinks of moving, but she also doesn’t want to disturb Laudna’s sleep. Laudna’s had a rough few days. Laudna needs rest. Even if Imogen wants nothing more than to roll over and kiss Laudna again (and again and again).
Just days ago, it felt like the world was ending. And maybe the world still is ending, but it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. Imogen’s heart is racing, but for entirely different reasons. She lets out a long breath in an effort to calm herself, to no avail.
After an interminable wait, there’s a pause then in Laudna’s breathing, a lull in the slow rhythm, and Imogen finds herself turning to face the other woman. It’s dark in the room, but faint light glints off Laudna’s open eyes, revealing inky pools of blackness.
Imogen shivers. She never did quite get used to that. “Laudna,” she whispers, “you awake?”
Dark eyes blink in the night. “Yes, I can’t sleep.”
“Me neither.” (Can I kiss you?) But she doesn’t say that out loud.
Pause. Laudna doesn’t respond for several seconds, and in the darkness, Imogen feels like her heart is bursting. The question is on the tip of her tongue, and she wants to ask. Even if part of her hates herself for needing this so much. But if she’s honest with herself, she’s always needed this, even if she never let herself think it, never let herself consider asking before today.
“Imogen?” When Laudna does speak, her voice is pitched high, unsure.
Imogen licks her lips. “Yeah?” (Can I kiss you?)
Another pause, longer this time, but Laudna’s breaths come in rapid succession during it. Laudna’s head tilts, looking away at first, but then locking eyes with Imogen in the dark. Imogen feels the gaze more than seeing it, as Laudna’s night vision is far superior. But the words whispered by Laudna cut right into her. “May I kiss you?” The question is breathless and quiet, nervous and uncertain.
And Imogen melts. “Please, I’ve never wanted anything more.”
She reaches out with a hand as Laudna presses closer, their fingers intertwining as their lips touch. Imogen can’t stop the sound that comes from the back of her throat, the flaring of her nostrils, or the breath that rushes out of her. Laudna’s lips are cool against hers. Her hands too, if a little clammy, and the nails sharp when they grip Imogen just a little too tightly.
Laudna trembles, tries to pull away after one kiss, but Imogen follows her, kisses back, and Laudna gives in. Laudna kisses her with determination, becoming firmer each time they touch, and when Imogen allows her tongue to poke out just a little, she’s met with Laudna’s long lithe one. And it’s Imogen’s turn to shake.
“Is this ok?” Imogen asks in between kisses, suddenly aware that she is the one leading here, even if Laudna started it.
But Laudna doesn’t answer. Laudna covers Imogen’s mouth once more, runs her tongue down the length of Imogen’s and elicits a moan. Laudna kisses from the corner of Imogen’s lips, across her cheek, and along the jawline, before finally stopping just under an ear. Imogen is vibrating so much her fingers and toes feel numb.
Imogen buries her face in Laudna’s neck, kisses right where the pulse is, locks her in a crushing hug. Laudna is alive. And more importantly, Laudna makes Imogen feel more alive than anyone ever has. As if on cue, a long tongue curls around an earlobe, and Laudna whispers into Imogen’s ear. “You’re very capable.”
And Imogen promises herself she will never let go.
#cr spoilers#critical role#fanfiction#my fic#imodna#this is self-indulgent fluff#i wrote this for me#also on ao3#can i kiss you#you're very capable
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A Peaceful Repose [Logan Howlett]
Summary: After some time away on a mission, Logan comes home, and all he wants to do is be around you
Warnings: clingy logan, showering together, sooo much fluff WC: 1.6k - MASTERLIST
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The door of your apartment slowly creaks open, followed by the sound of a familiar, heavy tread against the wooden floor. Your heart skips a beat, in both relief and excitement—Logan’s back.
But as he steps into the room, the sight of him makes you pause. He looks every bit as exhausted as you imagined, but it’s more than that. His clothes are torn and stained with dirt and dried blood, and a faint, musty smell of sweat and grime clings to him. His normally fierce gaze is dulled with fatigue, and the well-kept scruff on his face has grown wilder, more unkempt.
Your nose wrinkles slightly as you take in the full picture. “Logan…” you start, hesitating as he drops his bag on the floor with a loud thud. He catches your expression, and despite everything, he smirks, though it’s softer than usual, his eyes gleaming as they meet yours.
“Missed you,” he murmurs, his voice gravelly and rough, but filled with a warmth that makes your heart swell.
“I missed you too,” you reply, stepping forward to close the distance between you. He reaches out, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close despite the state he’s in. The embrace is tight, almost desperate, and you feel the stiffness in his muscles, the way his body seems to sag against yours, as if holding you is the only thing keeping him upright. And as much as you want to melt into him, as much as you want to rest your head on his shoulder and breathe in his scent, the feel of the grit against your skin pulls you back.
“Logan, you need a shower.” Your voice gently chides as you lean back to look up at him, your hands smoothing over his chest before you brush a lock of hair away from his forehead, your fingers grazing the sweat-dampened strands.
He lets out a low chuckle, the sound vibrating through his chest as he holds you, the warmth of his breath fanning across your cheek. “I just wanna hold you,” he grumbles, his face nuzzling into your hair.
You tilt your head back a bit, giving him a fond, but pointed look. “Not like this, you don’t,” you tease, pressing a kiss to his cheek before wrinkling your nose again. “Seriously, babe, you stink.”
His mouth quirks into a tired, yet genuine smile, a rare sight that always makes your heart flutter. “Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he mutters, his eyes softening as he looks down at you.
“Go on,” you urge, giving him a gentle nudge toward the washroom.
But Logan doesn’t move right away. Instead, he gives you a look, one that’s almost boyish in its vulnerability. “Can you come with me?” he asks, almost begging. “I’ve missed you… a lot.”
The sincerity in his tone, the way his eyes seem to plead with you, makes it impossible to refuse. You sigh, pretending to be more exasperated than you are, but the truth is, you’ve missed him just as much. “Alright, alright,” you relent, rolling your eyes playfully. “We’ll get cleaned up.”
A hint of relief washes over his features as he takes your hand, his rough fingers intertwining with yours as you lead him toward the bathroom. Once inside, you turn on the shower, adjusting the temperature until the steam begins to rise around you.
You turn to face him, your hands resting on his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat under your palms. “Let’s get you out of these clothes,” you say softly, reaching for the hem of his shirt.
His hands cover yours, guiding them as he helps you pull the fabric over his head, his gaze never leaving your face. You can’t help but notice the remnants of bruises and cuts scattered across his body, and your heart aches to see him like this, knowing the toll the mission must have taken on him.
When he’s finally undressed, you shed your clothes quickly and step into the shower. Logan wraps his arms around your waist as he presses his forehead against yours, eyes closing as he takes in the moment.
The warm water cascades over both of you, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest, each breath syncing with your own. There’s a stillness between you, a moment suspended in time where nothing else exists but the two of you.
“God, I missed this,” he murmurs affectionately, gazing down at you with a quiet longing.
“Me too,” you echo your voice barely above a whisper as if speaking too loudly might break the fragile intimacy of the moment. You reach for the soap, lathering it between your hands, the bubbles forming quickly as the scent of fresh citrus fills the air.
Logan watches you with an almost reverent expression as you begin to work the soap across his chest, your fingers tracing the hard lines of his muscles. His skin, though scarred and battered, is warm beneath your touch, the tension slowly melting away under the soothing rhythm of your hands.
He lets out a low, contented hum as you wash him, his eyes slipping closed as he leans into your touch. “That feels good,” he breathes, the words rumbling through his chest.
You smile quietly, taking your time as you work your way across his torso, roaming every inch of him. When you reach his shoulders, you pause, stepping a little closer so you can run your hands up the back of his neck and into his hair, your fingers gently massaging his scalp.
The sound he lets out is almost a groan, and you can feel his body relax even further as your fingers work through the tangles in his hair. You can’t help but lean in, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. It’s a lazy, unhurried gesture, one that speaks of comfort, and Logan responds immediately, turning his head slightly to capture your lips.
The kiss is slow, achingly slow, devoid of the usual urgency or passion, but instead filled with something deeper—love, trust, and a profound sense of belonging. His lips are warm and soft against yours, and you find yourself sighing at the familiar taste of him.
When you finally pull back, your breath mingles with his, and he opens his eyes to meet yours. He doesn’t say anything, but his hands slide from your waist up to your back, pulling you so close into his orbit that there’s no space left between you. He holds you like this, his chin resting on the top of your head as the water continues to pour over both of you. It’s not about desire, but rather a need to feel you close, to reassure himself that you’re here, safe and sound in his arms.
You continue to wash him, your hands moving slowly and gently over his body, lathering his hair with care as the water rinses away the grime of the mission. Every so often, Logan presses a soft kiss to your forehead or the top of your head, small gestures of affection that make your heart ache with how much you love him.
As you wash the soap from his hair, you reach up to run your fingers through it one last time, making sure it’s clean. You notice his eyes are half-closed as his head begins to droop down toward your shoulder.
“You’re going to fall asleep standing up,” you tease gently, running your hands down his chest before stepping back to grab the showerhead, directing the water over his shoulders and back.
“Can’t help it,” he murmurs thickly with drowsiness. “You’ve got magic hands.”
After you’ve both rinsed off, you turn off the shower and reach for a towel, wrapping it around yourself before grabbing one for Logan. He takes it from you with a small, grateful smile, quickly drying off before he wraps the towel around his waist. But before you can do the same, he brings you into his arms again, his damp skin cool against yours as he holds you close.
“C’mere,” he murmurs, his voice low and soft as he leads you towards the bed. He pulls back the covers, and the two of you climb in, still damp from the shower. Logan pulls you close, his strong arms encircling you as he pushes his face into the crook of your neck.
The scent of fresh soap and clean skin fills the air, and you can feel the last bits of tension leaving his body as he settles into the bed, his breathing evening out as the warmth of your embrace soothes him.
“You’re warm,” he mumbles.
“So are you,” you respond, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Your fingers trace soothing circles on his back, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing.
Logan hums in satisfaction, his arms tightening around you as he presses closer.
“You’re my everything,” he whispers.
You turn in his arms so you can face him, your hand resting against his chest. “And you’re mine,” you whisper back, your thumb brushing over his heart in a slow, soothing motion.
In the quiet of the room, the only sound is the steady rhythm of Logan’s breathing and the faint thump of his heartbeat beneath your hand. You feel completely safe, completely loved, wrapped up in his arms, and you know that he feels the same.
Drifting off to sleep, the last thing you hear is his voice, low and filled with affection. “Don’t ever leave me,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your forehead.
“Never,” you assure. “I’ll always be here.”
Logan lets out a deep, contented sigh, pressing a final kiss to your temple. And as the warmth of his embrace lulls you into sleep, you can’t help but think about how you were always meant to be here, by his side.
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#self indulgence at its finest#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#logan x reader#logan howlett fic#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett imagine#x men#deadpool movie#james logan howlett#logan howlett fluff#wolverine fluff#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#hugh jackman#marvel#marvel imagine#fluff#mcu#logan howlett x reader
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𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 – 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮
synopsis. period piece, forbidden love
contents. ooc, angst (eventual comfort), yandere emperor!gojo, lovesick!gojo, servant!reader, obsessive behavior (5k words of gojo pining), lowkey unreliable narrator, time skips
notes. inspired by the apothecary diaries and this post. loosely based off of ancient japan (this is basically its own world). this is the prologue to the series where everything can generally be read as a standalone ! (fic under the cut)
series masterlist
emperor!gojo who broke a hundred year tradition to take you as his only lover. despite your role as a concubine, everyone in the imperial palace knew he was going to make you his empress.
emperor!gojo who had not meant to fall in love with you, but you have managed to somehow charm him. a man that single handedly brought his own clan to power– weak in your hands. hushed whispers around the imperial palace call you a witch, but they never reach your ears. not as long as he is alive.
emperor!gojo shamelessly showering you with love. he pays no mind that it is highly frowned upon, he will have his hands on you every time you are in the same room.
emperor!gojo who is livid when there is an attempt on your life. his usual ocean eyes turned to blue flames like a wild animal. servants and clan elders alike scurry under his gaze. the assailant is taken care of by his own hands.
emperor!gojo who is forced to satiate the clan elders into submission by taking in another concubine from an influential clan. he insists to you that it is no more than a political formality. who are you to meddle into imperial affairs?
emperor!gojo who can’t help himself and ends up falling for another girl who his clan elders demand he must wed. she is much younger than you, beautiful and is well bred; a perfect match for the emperor.
emperor!gojo whose frequent visits to you come to an end, forcing you to move from his chambers and back to the consorts’ pavilion.
There was a time when you had everything. A place to call home in the Inner Court, a beautiful palace with anything you could have ever dreamed of. Servants, admirers, riches; you had it all. But what was most dear to you was your lover– a man so divine, many thought he was directly blessed by the hand of God. It was too good to be true. A woman of lowly birth like you, paid as homage for the sins of her clan against the new reigning family of Japan, becoming a concubine of the Heavenly Emperor.
You remembered it all too well.
His brilliant mind that once strategized the downfall of the previous imperial family, calculating its next move in a game of Go against you. You can still remember the shock on his face upon his first defeat. The way he would keep you from leaving to fulfill your other duties until he was satisfied, eyebrows furrowing as he struggled to keep up with you. No matter how hard he tried, you remained victorious. It drove him mad.
You remembered the stolen kisses while you made your rounds in the Inner Palace with your ladies in waiting. It took you quite a while to learn to tune out their giggles every time the Emperor dips you down to taste your lips in broad daylight. The grin that he wore after was enough to leave your legs weak.
Above all, you'll always remember how safe you felt in his strong, reassuring embrace. You’ve seen him train, and it was no wonder the Gojo clan rose to power so quickly as a result of one man. The way he wields the katana is unlike any man on the face of the earth. Those arms were your sanctuary. You can still vividly recall the attempt on your life, orchestrated by a traditionalist incensed by the Gojo clan's swift ascent to power. The emperor, outraged by the assassination plot, personally saw to the man's execution.
However, the damage was done and it caused great strain in the Imperial Palace.
To appease the old geezers that were forced out of power, Emperor Gojo had taken in another concubine from one of the Big Three families of Japan— a beautiful Zenin girl. Her flowing, silky hair and saccharine voice enchanted everyone in the Inner Palace, captivating the Emperor, most of all. She was younger than you, with perkier breasts and soft skin that was enough to capture the attention of any man.
You don’t blame her for taking the Emperor’s attention away. Though you would be a liar if you said it did not hurt you. Deep down, you cannot deny the agony that sears your soul, realizing that the only semblance of love you've ever tasted remains unrequited. With a heavy heart, you resign yourself to the bitter truth of your existence, knowing all too well the cruel confines of your place in this world.
You were merely a pawn, and the Emperor did not want you anymore.
That was made clear months later when you received a scroll from the Emperor’s advisor, a man you were once well acquainted with, Geto Suguru.
“What is this?” You asked him quietly, your heart silently begging the Heavens it was not what you had suspected it to be. The black haired man in front of you does not respond, and you feel something pierce into your heart. Despite being a part of the Emperor’s court, it was rare that you received letters directly.
Your suspicions were confirmed when your shaky hands finally opened the scroll to read the familiar kanji written by your beloved.
“The Emperor decrees the termination of your role as concubine." Geto spares you the trouble of deciphering the characters neatly written in ink. “In his mercy, you are to be moved as a servant in the Outer Court. You are to serve the Imperial Physician.”
What you remember most was the silence. The Emperor’s silence after the stressful months you had to endure alone. The silence shared between you and Geto when you were forced out of the Imperial Court. All that was left was the sound of your heart breaking and the wood creaking underneath Geto’s feet as he walked away. Satoru never bothered to see you off.
Seasons change and by the next spring, you’re busying your hands with collecting herbs for the Imperial Physician, a man by the name of Yaga Masamichi. He is a kind man, pitying you enough to fill your days with laborious tasks to prevent your mind from wandering to thoughts of the unfortunate turn your life has taken. He is even generous enough to supply you with a new wardrobe of clothing full of light fabrics, a luxury you thought you would lose in the Outer Palace. Though the initial humiliation has worn off with the passing of time, you are still constantly reminded of your fall from grace.
Looks by the mix of condolences and disgust are shared when you roam the walls of the Outer Palace. You hear whispers of how the Emperor is infatuated with his newer, shinier toy. It is enough for you to swallow the bile that makes its way up your throat.
“It is no wonder the Emperor tossed away a wildflower like her in exchange for a cherry blossom. He needed someone to rival his own greatness.” A particular comment stopped you in your tracks. Your grip tightens on the woven basket in your hand filled with medicinal herbs you had collected earlier that morning.
“Have some pity on her.” Another eunuch whispers. Your breath falters, but you continue your walk with your head held up. You’ve heard the rumors. The beautiful Zenin Himiko has charmed the Emperor enough that there are rumors of a royal marriage to come. It doesn’t help that the Emperor has remained monogamous to her since he had banished you from his court.
A comforting hand links itself with your arm, “Ignore them. I saw Yaga shooing away a crowd of suitors that were lined up for your hand.” Ieiri Shoko scoffs, secretly sending you a wink. She has been studying medicine under Yaga for nearly a decade, eagerly accepting you as a companion upon your arrival. You feel your cheeks heat up at her flattery. You know she’s just trying to make you feel better.
Although your beauty never faded, it seems as though you are no longer sought after in the marriage market. Not that it matters, considering the new life that you’re living. You’re now a personal servant to the Imperial Physician, leaving no time to worry about suitors and such. Your days are filled with good work— tending to Yaga’s cherished garden that he has sowed for decades rather than frivolous games and attending the Emperor. It may not be glorious compared to your former life, but it was the best a woman of your status could receive.
When you and Shoko return to Yaga’s estate, you’re surprised to see the somber look that has settled on his aging features. Shoko makes an offhand comment that he will age faster if he keeps scowling. She receives a scolding.
“Is something the matter?” You gently place down your basket full of herbs.
Yaga sighs, calloused hands rolling up a scroll with the Imperial Seal. “It appears the Emperor’s consort has fallen ill and His Majesty commands my presence in the Imperial Palace.”
The Royal Consort. The woman that dethroned you: Zenin Himiko.
“I understand.” You nod, maintaining your composure while two sets of eyes scrutinize you with keen observation. It was only natural the emperor wanted the best doctor in the country for his object of affection. “Shall I close up the shop while you journey into the Inner Palace?”
Yaga shakes his head, “That won’t be necessary. I will have Shoko act as my stand-in.” He remarks with a quick glance in her direction “You, on the other hand, will accompany me.”
Your eyes widen.
“You cannot be serious.”
“Typically, one of my apprentices would accompany me on such journeys. However, now that I have acquired a personal attendant,” He gestures towards you with a flick of his hand, “It shall no longer be necessary.” As he speaks, he runs his hand absentmindedly through his well trimmed beard, gaging your reaction.
"I—" Your words falter and fade away. "Yes, sir," you respond, inclining your head in deference, a stark reminder of your place. While you may have concealed it, you were seething with humiliation. Returning to the Imperial Palace after a year of exile to serve the woman who took your spot was mortifying beyond measure.
“Very well. Pack enough for one week’s time. I doubt the Emperor would have called me if this was a light ailment.” He says gruffly. “We leave at dawn.” His gaze shifted to the horizon outside.
1 YEAR AGO
“Your Grace,” You purr at the feeling of his large hands scratching your head.
The smile that rests on his face is almost ravenous. “Yes, my love?”
“I think—“ A soft sigh escapes your lips when he presses on your weak points. “I should g-go.”
His ministrations stop almost immediately.
“Go?” His eyes peer down at you in his lap. It is now that you realize the weight of his piercing gaze. “Have I commanded you to leave yet?”
“No, but—”
“Then you have nowhere else to be.” He huffs, unintentionally puffing his cheeks out. You stifle the giggle that nearly escapes from your lips. He vaguely resembles a pufferfish– or so you think. Though you’ve never seen the round creature with your very own eyes, you’ve heard that the delicacy was something only members of the aristocratic class would feast on.
Your mouth waters at the thought.
“What are you thinking about that could possibly be so important? Keep your eyes on me,” A strong hand squishes your cheeks together and firmly guides your face back upon him.
You should be embarrassed; ashamed at the intimate position His Majesty has trapped you in. The way your head is tucked away in his lap as he peers down at you, nothing to shield you away from him. It was incredibly scandalous, considering that you were an unmarried woman! But it seemed like the Emperor had taken no mind towards it. You would even dare to say that he was enjoying it, with the way his lips quirk upward at the sight of you squirming.
“Your Grace,” You repeat, determined to free yourself from his hold. His eyebrows furrow.
“Satoru,” He reminds you. You purse your lips. The position you hold in his court is simply not high enough to grant you the privilege of calling him by his given name.
“Your Grace,” You try again, the title rolling off of your tongue naturally. A man like him did not deserve any title less than.
“You’re breaking my heart, sweetheart. Indulge a man, won’t you?” He pouts down at you. As stubborn as ever, you don’t relent.
“I would be overstepping my boundaries as your consort to call you as such. That privilege is reserved for your future bride.” You take advantage of his guard let down to sit up and escape his hold. If he could have caught you, he made no effort.
“I am a simple man.” He follows you to your vanity. A giggle escapes your mouth. He is anything but. “I want my love to call me by my name.”
You turn around to cup his cheek. He eagerly leans into your touch, sighing happily at the contact.
“I wonder how Lord Kento and Geto would react to you like this.” You tease, a smile unknowingly painting itself on your lips.
Satoru’s face falls, features morphing into an appalled expression. You watch him close the distance between you through the mirror.
“Kento?” His voice had a dangerous lilt in it. You blink, unsure what spurred on the sudden tension in the room. “Since when were you so comfortable around him? He cannot satisfy you like I can.” He reminds you of the man’s castrated state as an eunuch. You wince.
“I have not gotten comfortable,” You’re careful to pick your words. Gojo’s possessiveness was something that was not easily tamed. “He simply provides good conversation while you are away.The palace is far too big and lonely while you’re away dealing with clan matters.”
The only response you get is a quiet grumble. “You’re lucky that you’re pretty.” His large hand creeps its way into your hair again, undoing the hairstyle your ladies in waiting had spent a copious amount of time on earlier that morning. Gojo carefully plucks the extravagant silver hairpin from your hair, the dangling pearls clicking softly at the sudden movement. His hands slowly make their way down to the kimono that you are wearing, hands ready to undo the obi.
Your hands softly hover his, “I fear that our roles have been reversed. Should it not be me who gets you unready, Your Grace?”
He chuckles and through the mirror you can see a smirk make his way to his lips, “I’d let you undress me any day. Just say the word, beloved.”
You roll your eyes, but allow him to continue. It was moments like these with the Emperor that led you on to believe that there was a semblance of love between the two of you.
How wrong you were.
PRESENT DAY
The sun has yet to meet the horizon when you arrive at the Inner Palace. The horse-drawn carriage that you and Yaga had taken is the only sound at the scene, clopping down the stone road and back to the Inner Court. You miss the serenity of the beautiful palace you once resided in, knowing that it will be bustling with life in just a few short hours.
In front of the large doors of the primary ceremonial hall where the Emperor spends most of his time, stands Lord Nanami, a counsellor to the Emperor himself. Time has only made his face sterner, but his neatly styled hair and blue and yellow dyed court attire remained the same. He waits patiently while you and Yaga make your way up the flight up stairs that lead up to the hall.
“I am glad to see you in good health, Yaga.” Nanami bows.
The man next to you promptly waves his politeness off, thanking him for his hospitality. You stand silently while the two men engage in conversation regally.
Lord Nanami sighs, “His Majesty has been plagued by stress lately. To say I am relieved by your presence would be an understatement.” His statement is a subtle reminder that you must harden your heart upon entering the palace walls. The meticulously built walls were no longer a sanctuary for you, rather, a painful testament that you were no longer wanted.
Yaga lets out a hearty laugh and it reveals a rare sight, Lord Nanami’s lips curving upwards by a slight. “I highly doubt the boy would be glad to see me. The appearance of the Imperial Physician is portentous.” He scratches his beard. You tilt your head in confusion at how he referred to the Emperor.
“I suppose, yet I am intrigued to find out how he will react upon seeing his object of affection flourishing anew despite the sting of frost.” Nanami audibly wonders. Even a fool could understand his eloquent comparison. The Emperor would be thrilled to see his consort in full bloom once again. You pray that the Heavens would grant you some mercy from witnessing such a scene.
“Youth,” Yaga shakes his head, chuckling to himself before regaining composure. “I mustn't keep the Emperor waiting. [Name], please gather the herbal ingredients to treat the young Consort as you seem fit. I shall confer with His Majesty and meet you in her chambers to declare a proper diagnosis.”
You bow, “Yes sir.”
While Yaga prepares to enter the doors where The Heavenly Emperor resides, your eyes couldn’t help but gaze longingly at the large bronze doors.
“You seem well,” Nanami addresses you for the first time in over a year. Your eyes trail from the Emperor’s door to the blonde man in front of you. “Allow me to guide you to our herbal stock.” Nanami offers you his arm as you start to make your way down the stairs.
You take it, lightly holding his arm. “Thank you, Lord Nanami. Time away from the Inner Palace has been like a breath of fresh air,” You respond, ensuring your voice carries no malice. You hear the large palace doors from behind you open, the metal creaking loudly in the quiet dawn.
“I must ask you to call me Kento,” He leads you down the stone steps. “We are old friends, it is strange to hear anything but.”
You focus on your steps down the stairs, only responding once your feet meet the solid ground, “I fear that our social statuses have changed since then. It would be the cause of a scandal should anyone hear I am calling the Imperial Counselor by his given name. Your admirers would have my head on a stick.”
“Your imagination is amusing as always, [Name].” He gives you a closed eyes smile. You huff.
“I am only speaking the truth!” You insist. He chuckles.
“It is quite refreshing to see both you and Yaga again. I’m not sure how long it has been since I have been at the imperial physician.”
You gape at his confession. “You mustn't skip your annual visits to the physician, Kento. It is in the best interest of your health!” You lightly scold him, lifting your hand to flick his forehead. It was a force of habit. “Perhaps if I have time after treating the Consort, I shall do a check up on you.”
Nanami clears his throat at your comment, the twinkle in his eyes dissipating as if your direct touch had burned him.
“I would rather not lose my head.” He mumbles, eyes scanning the courtyard around the two of you. You knit your eyebrows, confused.
Nanami leaves you to fulfill his duties once you arrive at the Royal Kitchens to retrieve all the necessary items to treat Consort Himiko. You are glad that he did not accompany you into the kitchens to prepare Consort Himiko’s herbal soup.
The memory of it still irks you.
“You’re late,” One of Consort Himiko’s ladies in waiting snaps just as you enter the kitchen. You look up to see a young girl, dressed in a light purple kimono. It must be Himiko’s signature, you note. It was strange to see someone outside of the Imperial family donning the color, but you suppose it was only a grand display of Himiko’s influence.
“You’re a lot more plain than I anticipated,” The other lady in waiting quirks an eyebrow, eyeing your appearance. You furrow your eyebrows, shocked by their rudeness.Their undying loyalty to their Lady was enough to fuel an unspoken hatred for you. Though you’re not sure that the two coincide, you don’t blame them.
The two are mixing a concoction that you don’t recognize to be used to treat the sick. The taller one adds some aromatics and herbs in and you see the other one unwrap a cloth to reveal a rare delicacy from the West. Cocoa, you believed they called it.
Then it hits you– the two are not making a medicinal soup for their Lady, rather they are making an aphrodisiac! The image that conjures in your head makes you blanch. Back in the Outer Palace, Shoko had shown you the effects of the stimulant (you shiver at the memory of her shoving a treat laced with it into your mouth). It was certainly a night to remember.
“How pathetic,” You mutter underneath your breath, quickly rushing to obtain the ingredients you needed without making conversation with the two girls.
Fortunately, they pay you no further attention for the time you’re in the kitchen.
“Please excuse me,” You bow upon entering the Emperor’s chambers. Despite the Consort’s Pavilion being similar in size to a small town, you remember spending most of your time in the Emperor’s chambers rather than your own. It was probably the same case with Consort Himiko. You slowly place the tray carrying broth and medicinal herbs to treat the Consort down on the circular wooden table in the middle of the room.
Out of curiosity, your eyes can’t help but soak in the Emperor’s room. Not much has changed since you’ve left. His Majesty’s preference for minimalist decorations have stayed the same, along with his natural musk that fills your nose. You feel your face heat up at your own thoughts. How could you think of such a thing when you are about to meet his new lover?
Your gaze moves to his bed, where Consort Himiko resides– only to find nothing.
“Huh?”
You observe his bed, silk sheets neatly made, seemingly untouched. The sounds of your sock clad feet patter on the wooden floor as you make your way to feel the bedsheets for any signs of warmth, but you are met with nothing.
“Don’t you know that entering the Emperor’s chambers can be punishable by death?” A deep voice from behind you causes you to jump in your spot.
Your guard is immediately raised, head whipping to the sound. In hindsight, you should have never agreed to accompany Yaga on his trip. It was a foolish idea all along, you think as all of the air in your lungs dissipates upon seeing your former lover.
Standing at the entrance of his own sleeping quarters is Gojo Satoru, his frame big enough to tower over the doorway. His arms are crossed over each other, electric blue eyes focused on nothing else but you. You press your thighs together tightly to avoid squirming anymore than you are. He has loosened his dark blue kimono to expose some of his hardened chest, a sight any woman in the nation would die to catch a glimpse. Even underneath all of the fabric, anyone can see his divinely sculpted physique.
“Your Grace,” You waste no time to dip your body deeply, praying that he will allow you to keep your head by sunset. “I apologize for the intrusion, I was under the pretense that Consort Himiko resided in your quarters–” Your voice loses itself in your throat when you see his shadow quickly encroaching.
“Himiko stays in her Pavilion,” He towers over you, eyes gazing down on you. “But one might suspect that you already knew that.”
Your eyes frantically meet his feet, desperate to salvage what was left of your dignity, “I assure you that I speak of the truth, Your Majesty.”
When he doesn’t respond, you slowly lift your head.
The flustered look on your face must have been amusing to him, as he makes his way closer to you, bending down to interrogate you further.
“Is that so?” He hums, enjoying every second of cornering you into his chambers. The back of your legs have met his bed, trapping you. You inhale sharply, trying to keep your breaths even, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing the effect he had on you.
He continues, “You’re awfully skittish for someone who was happily skipping around my territory in the arms of another man just earlier.” His predatory gaze seems to darken.
“Kento?” When his name leaves your lips, the man in front of you grits his teeth. You turn your head to the side, deliberately avoiding him. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, but I don’t see how Kento and I’s relationship is any of your concern,” He does not take your actions well, his gaze searing into you.
“It certainly is when the woman in question is you,” Gojo’s voice loses its feral lilt, distress flashing across his face. There’s a newfound desperation in it that chips away at your resolve. His hand raises to your face so slowly, as if he did not want to startle you.
“This is wrong. I– I saw a couple of servants earlier making aphrodisiacs, perhaps you could have unknowingly consumed them.” You tell him, frantic eyes meeting him. It is not unusual for couples to use aphrodisiacs, you know that after under Yaga. The Emperor must have mistaken the laced dessert for his usual.
He shakes his head, running a hand through his white hair.
“You are mistaken. This is solely your effect on me.” He promises. You could barely believe his words, stuck between feeling offended or shocked.
“How could you stand to be so cruel?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. There are no tears in your eyes this time. “I am not a courtesan you can buy for the night,” You snap, pointing a harsh finger to his chest.
“What do you mean?” He sounds breathless.
“Whatever do I mean?” You scoff, a dry laugh escaping your mouth. “For a year, all I have gotten is pity from the world, because you decided I was no longer entertaining. You could have at least banished me away yourself. Instead, you sent Suguru who couldn’t even look me in the eye! Don’t you know how humiliating that is?” With every word that left your lips, more venom seemed to drip. Anger was prickling you all over, taking control of the rational part of you.
Gojo seemed to be taken aback by your outburst. It was far too late to take anything back now. If you lose your head by nightfall, so be it.
You dig a deeper grave for yourself when you take advantage of his moment of weakness to flee. He’s quick to react, attempting to grip your wrist.
“Wait, [Name], beloved–” He uses that all too familiar term of endearment, but it doesn't deter you.
You accidentally bump into the circular wooden table placed in the middle of the room. What an awful place to keep it, watching in horror as the Consort’s medicine shatters on the floor. To add salt to the wound, a vase you recognize to be specially gifted to the Emperor from a foreign nation tips off too before you can catch it. The sound of porcelain shattering fills the room.
“[Name]! Are you alright?” You hear Gojo ask from behind you, but you run over the broken shards before he can catch you.
Had you bothered to pay closer attention, you would have noticed articles of your clothing and a couple of your missing belongings littered all over the room– creating a faux impression that you never really left the palace.
Days passed by after the incident, and luckily, your head was still attached to your body despite offending and nearly endangering the Emperor. Yaga’s disappointment when you had told him what happened was made evident when he sent you home early after hearing the events that transpired, insisting that he can handle the Consort on his own. Normally you would have argued, but you knew better than to inflict Yaga’s wrath.
“Now you’ve really done it,” Shoko whistles lowly, walking in from the front of Yaga’s shop.
You hide your face in your hands, “I made an absolute fool of myself, didn’t I?”
“A fool? No. A conspirator against the Emperor? Perhaps.” She dangles a scroll with a familiar seal on it. The Gojo Clan’s familiar emblem reflects off of the sunlight spilling into the room. Your heart drops.
“Oh, they’ll have my head.” You moan, hands instinctively lifting to shield your neck.
“Though I’m quite impressed that Yaga only sent you back here. He used to have worse punishments.” She shudders before impatiently unraveling the scroll. You watch her eyes gradually widen as they read the contents of the letter. The scroll falls from her hand.
You rush to it, desperate to read your fate.
To [Last Name] [First Name],
Greetings and prosperity unto you.
By the mandate of the heavens and the authority vested in Us, We hereby extend Our solemn words to you, [Last Name] [First Name], servant of the realm, in acknowledgement of your debt to the Empire.
In response to your unmeritorious deeds, The Emperor bestows upon you His imperial pardon from capital punishment. In consideration of your obligations and the harmony of the realm, it is hereby decreed that you shall serve as an indentured servant to the Imperial Household for a period commensurate with your debt. During this time, you shall labor faithfully and diligently under the supervision of Our Heavenly Emperor, performing duties essential to the welfare of the Empire.
By fulfilling your obligations with diligence and humility, you may yet earn favor and esteem in Our sight.
The Imperial Court
A loud gasp escapes your mouth.
You feel your legs weaken, your emotions running wild. Shoko’s eyes meet yours, mirroring your frantic gaze. In that moment, you are met with the same suffocating sense of hopelessness.
extra!
gojo was kicking his feet happily as he watched suguru draft out his letter to you. suguru thought it rather cruel, while the white haired male was too busy purring happily as he fantasized about having you back into his grasp.
previous chapter | next chapter [coming soon!]
#very ohshc esque with the way she is now indebted to him TT#ahh this entire series is so self indulgent im sorry#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojou x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk x reader#yandere!gojo satoru#royal!au#jjk angst#gojo angst#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you
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logan is the type of boyfriend to rub & softly scratch your back on nights where you can't sleep :(
even if he's falling asleep! you're laying on your tummy, tossing & turning and whining in frustration, and logan (snoring and also laying on his belly) puffs his lips and turns his head to face you sympathetically. his eyes are still closed when he reaches his big,warm arm up from under the blankets to rest on your back <3
"you gotta sleep babydoll. close your eyes, i gotcha... i gotcha, kid" cooing at you in an attempt to lull you to sleep & rubbing soft circles with the center of his huge, warm palm :((
#self indulgent :(#i cant sleep because of anxiety & i love logan so here's this lil thought#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine fluff#logan howlett fluff#james logan howlett x reader#james logan howlett fluff
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imagine you come home completely exhausted after a long day and immediately collapsing on the couch only for suguru to find you there.
he was about to carry you to bed but just had to stop and admire you, sound asleep looking tired yet still absolutely breathtaking.
he sits there for a moment, listening to your steady breaths and marvel at the sight of you. his hand removes the few strands of hair covering your face and tucks them behind your ear causing you to stir.
he whispers several apologies as he pulls you into his strong arms encasing you as if you weighed nothing.
you mumble some complaints about waking you up but suguru knows you'll be thankful in the morning.
he gently carries you to your bed and sets you down so softly you wouldn't notice the impact even if you weren't half asleep.
just when you thought the heavenly soft pillows were now allowing you to drift away to dreamland in peace, a cold sensation on your face jolts you up.
"shh, i'll be quick i promise" suguru chuckles as your heavy lids close against your will. you could only hum in response while he wipes away the remaining traces of makeup that were still clinging onto your features.
suguru had seen you applying your skincare a million times so he knows your routine like the back of his hand. he follows the steps accurately taking care not to wake you up in the process.
after he was done rubbing the last swab of moisturizer into your skin, he smiles triumphantly at himself already thinking about the praises you'd give him the next morning.
just before applying your lip balm though, he just couldn't help but sneak in a kiss, maybe a few, okay a lot of soft feather like kisses.
suguru finally takes his rightful place next to you and pulls you into his embrace, he melts just a little more when you snuggle into his chest and sigh contently, the both of you meeting in your dreams.
#haaaaa soft suguru hours#i imagine shit like this and come home into an empty house man#this was very self indulgent#getou suguru x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto x you#geto x reader#suguru x reader#suguru x you#geto fluff#suguru fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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cw. none except satoru being disgustingly cute (part 2)
satoru isn’t used to people calling him anything other than his surname. gojo-san to most, gojo-sensei to others. it’s simple, and gets the job done.
only a handful of people stick to calling him by his given name. to them, he’s satoru. it’s easy, and rolls of the tongue, and he greatly prefers it over the sound of his surname. it makes him feel like an actual person.
satoru never entertained the possibility of being called anything else other than those two names. he didn’t think it would ever happen.
for once, he was glad to be proven wrong.
“tough day, pretty?” you ask gently, and he sighs with a nod as he throws himself into your opened arms. his body moulds easily into yours, and he lets out a heavy groan as he settles onto the couch with you. the groan is loud, and over-exaggerated.
it’s so satoru.
you have to stifle a giggle.
“everything went horribly wrong,” he grumbles, his voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “the higher ups were up my ass again, my students laughed at me again, and when i finally made it to that bakery you liked they were out of your favourite pastries so i couldn’t get them for you—again!”
“oh, my poor baby,” you coo, and gently push his bangs out of his face. he nods in agreement, faking an immense amount of sympathy for himself. “‘s okay, at least you tried, hm? i think that’s very sweet.”
satoru hums, as if he’s deeply thinking about your words. “’m still your baby?” he mumbles, deciding that’s the most important thing right now. his eyes briefly flutter shut, consumed by utter bliss as you play with the hairs on his undercut.
“mhm, still my baby.”
“yeah? what else am i?”
this time you do giggle. he does this sometimes. you aren’t exactly sure why—but on tough days, satoru likes to crawl into your arms and listen to you call him every cheesy nickname under the sun. it’s easily providable and makes him so very happy, so you always indulge him.
“my honey bun.”
“and?”
“my boo bear.”
“mhm.”
“my sweetheart.”
“yes?”
you laugh softly. “my mochi,” you coo, and pinch his cheek. it’s a little squished because he’s laying on your chest, but it emphasises your point.
he grins under your touch. it’s adorable.
“keep them coming, please?” he asks, and you do. you always do, unable to refuse him. especially when he asks so sweetly.
“my sugar cookie.”
“my muffin.”
“my baby cakes.”
“my angel.”
“my love.”
“my husband.”
“h—huh?” satoru stammers, looking up from your chest. he lays his chin on your sternum, baby blue eyes blinking up at you. they’re filled with awe, surprise, and utter glee. “that’s, i’m not. . .”
“just testing the title, baby,” you tell him, and continue playing with his hair. he bathes in your touch and you smile softly as he grabs and kisses the palm of your hand. “what do you think, hm?”
“i think you should call me it again.”
“oh?”
“mhm,” he mumbles.
“my dearest husband.”
“again.”
“my handsome husband.”
“again.”
“my sweet husband.”
“again, please?”
you hum, impressed. “my well-mannered husband.”
satoru chuckles, and lays back down on your chest. his white hair tickles against your skin, and he sighs in content.
“i think i want to be your husband for real.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” he mumbles and nuzzles further into your hold. “y’ve got the same ring size still, right?”
“i sure do,” you say, a content smile on your lips as you watch him slowly doze off to sleep.
“hm, good to know.”
for satoru, those nicknames make him feel as if he’s something even greater than a person—it makes him feel yours.
he’s not just gojo, the strongest. he’s not just satoru, the at-times somewhat immature adult with the sweet tooth of a child.
he’s yours. your baby. your honey bun. your boo bear. your mochi. your boyfriend. your love. and for satoru, there’s no greater thing in the world than that.
#ꕤ — sanatomis darling: gojo satoru#usually i list the nicknames i have from him of the top of my head but i’ll admit it guys#i opened my notes app for this one#i call him so many nicknames i know mimi is sick of us#very self-indulgent once again my apologies (or not)#HES JUST SO#adorable#he’s everything and he deserves every nickname#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader fluff#satoru gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#sneaking it in again guys sorry#⍣ ❥ ೋ 𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑖.
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What would sensitive!reader do without older!rafe protecting her from the invisible monsters in their home?
c/w: mostly fluff, her being scared & rafe comforting her while also being a menace, teeny tiny bit of angst regarding their age-gap, use of daddy (once)
wc: 1.7k
unfortunately won't be watching a single scary movie this halloween cause she's literally me but happy kinktober & spooky season xx
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She’s not exactly sure why she agreed to watch the new horror film Rafe’s friends wanted to see at a Halloween themed gathering he’d dragged her into. She wasn’t even the biggest fan of his friends, which is why she didn’t want to go in the first place.
However, when he’d mumbled a honeyed “It’s no fun without you and don’t wanna leave my girl alone on Halloween” into her hair, she’d reluctantly agreed; not one to refuse him of anything when he looked at her with that specific softened blue coloring his eyes.
And there was also the prospect of making him happy that finally made her melt into his wishes.
And she wanted to like his friends, she really did. But it wasn’t exactly easy when they kept bragging about their accomplishments and how much money they had every opportunity they found in such an arrogant tone, it made her roll her eyes when they weren’t looking.
Luckily, she could at least converse with their partners who were always fun company to sip wine with and giggle about anything and everything. And along with the warmth of Rafe’s gaze flickering over to her every once in a while, as he talked with his friends and coworkers, she was actually beginning to enjoy herself.
Up until the point when someone suggested they watch a movie.
“You sure you wanna watch this? S’okay if you wanna go home, could come up with something else to keep us entertained…” Rafe had murmured into her ear with his arms around her on the couch the whole group had settled down on.
He knew how paranoid she could get; how easily she’d turn into a scaredy cat who once couldn’t sleep alone for a month after sitting through an entire scary movie in the cinema.
And she truly doesn’t know why she didn’t just tell him she wanted to leave when the film started playing on the big screen of Topper’s television. She was going to, but when her eyes flitted over to him bringing a glass of whiskey to his lips in a carefree manner; she didn’t have the heart to ruin his fun because he seemed to be enjoying himself. After all, it wasn’t often he let himself relax due to his hectic work schedule packed with tedious meetings and whatnot.
And on top of that, she’s already self-conscious over the age-gap between her and Rafe; sometimes gets a headache over the notion of him meeting someone more mature one dreadful day and deciding he doesn’t want to play house with her any longer.
After all, his friends were all getting engaged left and right, while she still holds the title of being his girlfriend. And even if she isn’t sure she’d be ready for marriage quite yet, she’s still slightly upset that he’s never even so much as mentioned the matter.
And she's not sure if it's because she's younger than him and he assumes she doesn't want a ring on her finger too soon or if he simply just doesn't want to make things too definitive with her.
Nonetheless, it's something she's been thoroughly overthinking and mulling over recently, even if she knows it doesn't benefit her in any shape or form. Apparently, her mind just likes to always have some topic to ruminate over and obsessively worry about, or else it'll have too much free time.
Therefore, she can admit that she didn’t want to appear as a big baby who couldn’t stomach anything even remotely scary (she really couldn’t). And was it such a crime to not want to make a scene in front of all his friends?
That’s why she ends up meekly nodding her head and assuring him she was fine — which he didn’t entirely believe — but smiled nonetheless at the fact that she was willing to get out of her comfort zone for his sake, before pulling her closer to his side.
However, when the white letters of the end credits finally rolled after a few gruesome and eerie hours later, she was anything but fine.
Her weakened frame is trembling and she’s entirely too jumpy even after they’ve said their goodbyes and stepped past the threshold into the safe haven of their home.
“Told you we should’ve just left,” he tuts at her when she flinches at the October wind rustling the autumnal foliage outside the window.
“Rafe, what was that?” She squeaks out when she hears another sound coming from outside — presumably their neighbor — however, there’s always the possibility of it being a serial killer simply waiting for the right moment to pounce.
“What was what?” He huffs out a chuckle in amusement, causing her to pout.
“This isn’t funny. I’m scared,” she whines, heart beating faster than ever along with her breathing unsteady.
“I know you are. Shit, forgot why I don’t let you watch scary movies,” he shakes his head, padding over to the kitchen to fill up a glass of water; her feet immediately running after him.
“Hey, hey. I’m right here, yeah?” He laughs tenderly when she practically glues herself to his big and comforting arm with how tightly she’s hugging it against her chest.
“Promise you’re not gonna leave me alone?” She blinks up at him with her pupils dilated, nervous.
“It’s past midnight. Of course, I’m not leaving, I’m exhausted. Let’s get ready for bed, yeah?” He suggests calmly, managing to placate her some with his appeasing presence. Although the spine-chilling scenes still play behind her eyelids with every blink.
She follows him to the bathroom and he tries not to laugh when she insists on staying there even while he’s peeing.
“Want me to check under the bed for monsters?” His sickly-sweet tone is a stark contrast to the annoying smirk plastered on his face when they pad over to their bedroom after brushing their teeth.
“Ray…I’m being serious,” she scowls.
“So am I?” He feigns confusion with a furrow of his brows.
Before she has the chance to complain about him being mean, he’s already crouching down on the floor and poking his head under the bed into the darkness he’s braved himself to submerge into. And she’s far too curious not to peer down as well, however, she can’t really see a thing from behind his broad shoulders.
Suddenly, he lets out a loud gasp — making her jump back and nearly trip on her feet — before his breathy giggle follows soon after.
“That’s not funny,” she grumbles as exasperation drags her lips downwards.
“I’m sorry, baby. You jus’ make it so easy,” he approaches her with an apologetic expression that doesn’t come off as all that empathetic when he’s fighting off an amused grin the entire time.
“C’mere, yeah?” He coaxes her before tugging her into his strong arms; not letting go even when she tries to pull away since she’s still mad at him.
“This one really got to you, huh?” He murmurs into her hair before beginning to soothingly rock back and forth when she finally halts her pursuits of escape.
A faint hum is the only response she grants him.
“Don’t remember you being this scared since we went to that haunted house with your friends last year, remember?” His warm chest rumbles in a pacifying manner in tandem with his words.
“How could I forget,” she huffs out.
“Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t wanna watch it? You know I wouldn’t have minded leaving,” he speaks softly.
“I don’t know…just didn’t wanna seem like a baby in front of your friends,” she sniffles.
“Since when do you care what they think? You hate them,” he argues with a lopsided smile when he releases his hold on her in order to unzip his jeans and change into something more comfortable for the night.
“Hate is a strong word,” she defends herself as she pulls one of Rafe’s old t-shirts over her head and tries to focus on his familiar scent still lingering on the worn-out fabric instead of the imaginary monsters lurking behind the windows.
“Is it?” He graces her with a lighthearted narrow of his eyes.
“Fine. I don’t like them but they’re your friends, which means that I want them to like me,” she mumbles out.
“Don’t really give a shit if they like you or not, which they obviously do. Think a little too much since you can’t help but be the sweetest angel even to the people you hate,” he grumbles out as he walks over to close the bedroom door.
“And honestly, would much rather just stay with you than those pretentious idiots. Next time you wanna go home, just tell me. Don’t want you lying to me, okay?” He says with something sincere sparkling in the lagoons of his eyes.
“Okay,” she promises when suddenly, he switches the lights off with a click, causing her muscles to tense.
“Ray, why would you do that?” She sounds alarmed; inhales and exhales growing labored because the bedroom is now pitch black and there could be anything hiding in the murky corners of the room since she can’t even see herself.
“Shh, calm down. I’ll protect you, yeah?” He croons, before he’s guiding her under the covers with a big hand on the small of her back; following shortly behind her and tugging her flush against his steady chest.
“You’re safe with me. Daddy’s not gonna let anything happen to you, alright?” His saccharine murmurs reach her racing mind and offer it momentary rest on the soft petals of his tranquil voice.
She hums against the skin of his neck as her eyes begin to slowly adjust to the darkness surrounding them; the dingy shadows crawling along the walls appearing less and less threatening by the second when she’s in the warmth of his protective embrace.
“Want your stuffie?” He asks, knowing her all too well.
“Mhm,” she nods against him before he’s reaching a hand behind the pillows because somehow her stuffed animal always manages to end up in the most peculiar of places. At this point though, he already knows where to look since he’s usually the one who has to locate it for her.
Nowadays, she doesn’t need it too often since she has Rafe volunteering to be her own personal teddy bear, but whenever he’s working past midnight, she likes to hold onto something that brings her comfort because she isn’t particularly fond of the idea of sleeping alone.
He soon offers her the plushy lamb and she gives him a grateful smooch against his cheek along with a muffled ‘I love you’.
And that night, he lulls her into dreamland with a warm palm resting on her tummy and his mellow breathing placating her distraught mind.
#this is actually just another self-indulgent blurb to validate my own feelings!#wanna watch hellraiser so bad cause trevor is sooo yummy#but can't cause ik afterwards won't be able to sleep for the next week or so :/#older!rafe#sensitive!reader#rafe cameron#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron outer banks#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx#outer banks#outer banks fanfiction#rafe fic#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#older!rafe cameron#rafe fluff#rafe cameron fluff#kinktober#rafe kinktober
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thinkin’ bout katsuki bakugou with an s/o who’s a picky eater 😳
it drives him crazy at first to see you pick certain vegetables out of your food, or wrinkle your nose at dishes you weren’t particularly fond of.
in the beginning, he actually tries to beat it out of you, forcing you to clear your plate with an irritated bark every time he saw you pick at your food or scoot your plate away.
it’s not until he sees you gag at the texture of a particular food, at the way your appetite completely vanishes and your eyes gloss over with the hint of tears, that he feels some semblance of commiseration for you.
that spark of sympathy ignites into a protective rage when someone makes an off-handed (but ignorant) comment about how “childish” your eating habits are. your cheeks burned with embarrassment and you had tried to laugh it off, but he knew better. he had wanted to blow their face off, but he knew it’d only serve to embarrass you more.
he’s always cooked for you, but from then on he makes a point of memorizing your favorite dishes to perfection. he studies the way you eat, analyzing your reactions for what you enjoy and what you don’t seem to care for.
he’s not going to give you a reason to be ‘picky,’ refusing to provide people with a motive to make fun of you for ‘babyish’ behavior. you can’t be picky if he’s only feeding you good, healthy, and delicious food.
he’s subtle when he slides new dishes in front of you, calming your questioning expression when he scoffs and tells you to try it, you’ll like it.
and you always do.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
edit: hihi! seeing as this totally blew up (LMAO pun not intended) i wanted to take a sec to say thanks and also to recommend you take a look at my other stuff! i’ve written for several other fandoms like demon slayer, mha (obvi), attack on titan, etc. currently i’m thinking about a mha hunger games au, mentioned here! thanks and love <33
- 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢 !
#im a chronically picky eater and i get so mf embarrassed about it#idk this was completely self indulgent 😩#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#katsuki x reader#mha fluff#bakugou fluff#mha x reader
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"Welcome back, it's been a while."
After a long time has passed, how might the Obey Me! demons welcome you home with a hug?
---
Lucifer tries to approach you in a calm and collected manner, but that facade easily crumbles as he gets closer. His pace quickens and his expression melts into an inscrutable blend of emotion. The man is fighting to stay composed.
He pulls you towards him, unwilling to wait a moment longer to have you in his arms. His gloved hands wrap around your back and waist with a secure grip. Your toes brush the ground as his hug lifts you to eye level, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Welcome back, I've missed you."
---
Mammon sprints up with the goofiest grin imaginable plastered on his face. He catches himself at the last moment though, grinding to a halt as a blush creeps over his ears. He wants to be cool. "You sure are a piece a work to keep The Great Mammon waiting."
His arrogant act is betrayed by the many glances in your direction. By the way he's clenching his fist so hard his knuckles are white, and by the way he immediately crumbles into your open arms the second you reach out. He throws his arms around your shoulders and digs his face into your neck. He grips the back of your top a little too hard, as if you might leave again any moment.
---
Leviathan sheds his insecurities and doubts, all negative emotions, just to be able to bask in your presence again. It's a moment he's looked forward to for weeks. He puts trust into the belief that you've also been looking forward to seeing him.
He wraps his arms and legs around you, unconsciously aiming to get as much skin contact as possible. "I've really missed you, you know!?" he half-shouts before burying his face in your shoulder. You fight to stay standing upright. Every little movement, every minor adjustment in posture you make causes Leviathan to snuggle closer until you can't tell where your limbs end and his begin.
---
Satan can't control all of the overwhelming emotions that hit him at once. He grabs hold of your hand, and with a palm on your back he pulls you close until your entire weight leans against him. At your touch, all he can do is smile.
"Glad to see you again." The two of you sway back and forth, turning your hug into a psuedo-Waltz. When you look into his eyes, Satan gives your hand a kiss and presses your intertwined fingers against his face.
---
Asmodeus laughs as he barrels into you. "Did you miss me? Of course you did!"
You stumble back several steps yet he catches you before you fall, latching onto your side like a matching puzzle piece. He rubs his cheek over your head, pausing every few seconds to give you a kiss as his free hand enthusiastically traces its way up your back.
Asmodeus is the most reluctant to let go. Making a mess of your hair and clothes only gives him a calculated opportunity to touch you more as he tidies up your appearance. His caress lingers over your collarbone and around your ear. His fingers brush against your mouth, which he then brings to his own lips.
---
Beelzebub falls to his knees, relieved to see you return safe and sound and glad to be by your side once more. His arms curl around your hips. He noses his face into your chest and looks up with a content smile as he greets you, "welcome back."
You lean over to return the hug, running your hands through his hair. You don't expect Beelzebub to stand, picking you up in the process. You steady yourself on his shoulders as he rises, his violet eyes not wavering from you for a second, tempting him to steal a kiss.
---
Belphegor wraps his arms around your shoulders and practically falls on you. He doesn't seem concerned that you're sinking to the ground. In fact, he's so preoccupied with cuddling up to you that there's no way to avoid sitting on the ground with this demon on top of you.
He curls his body around your legs. You feel his warm breath on your neck as he slowly exhales, "welcome back." He's awake, but nothing will stop him from pretending to be asleep as his grip strength loosens and his face trails down your body.
---
Diavolo laughs amicably as you approach. He wants you to come to him, and is so thrilled to have you back. He bends down to latch his arms under yours and swings you around, sweeping you off your feet as you twirl two, three times, then slow to a stop.
"How have you been?" In due time he wants to know everything, and hear all the stories of your time away in detail. For now, he's got you locked in a bear hug. You feel his lips brush over your hair as he lightly swings you back and forth.
---
Barbatos' hug is the most restrained. It's simple and polite. At first he was content to just greet you with a gentle handshake and loving gaze. Though, when you request a hug, there is no way he can say no.
He extends his arms around your back, gives you two soft pats, and hesitates for just a moment before letting you go.
At night that evening as you prepare for bed, you find a note in your pocket that Barbatos must have cunningly slipped in without anyone noticing. It's a detailed letter with everything he didn't get to tell you in person.
#I've seen a lot of people coming back to the games after a while of not playing#and “fluff” won that quick poll I posted the other day so I churned this out just to pass the time. it's 100% self indulgent.#I've got better writing in my drafts folder but ota is in two months! Gotta get my cosplay done!#edit: I FORGOT MEPHISTO BRO I AM SO SORRY think of all the potential with his cane. screaming sorry mephisto#obey me#obey me swd#obey me!#omswd#obey me scenarios#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanon#obey me x mc#obey me fanfic#obey me brothers#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me x reader#obey me fluff#obey me drabble#obey me fic#obey me writing#obey me mc
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Imagine not being able to go shopping with Task Force 141. The first time you went group shopping it was just with Kyle and Johnny, but you quickly realized it was a mistake because the two went in on buying your groceries despite you insisting they didn’t have to. At first you think it’s a one time thing, the guys were just being nice, but after a few other trips with them you have to be careful on mentioning going to the store with them around, or else they will hound you to join and pay for everything. One time you slip up and ask if the guys need anything and ofc Johnny is jumping up to put his shoes on and Kyle’s reaching for his keys, but you’re at least quick enough to tell them no. Despite their pouty faces you’ve got your foot down, stating as much as you love the princess treatment you’re not gonna run them poor cuz of their choices to spoil you. Surprisingly Simon and Price say they’ll join you, the team running low on some basic supplies anyways so you’ll probably need the extra hands to help unload the car when you get back. You appreciate the offer, and are a bit relieved, because surely these two would be much stringent about their funds. Turns out, you do need help unloading, but not because of the groceries, because the two older men bought practically anything you even dared glimpse at, and you’re left there flushing still sitting in the car with your hands covering your embarrassed face while Simon calls for Soap and Gaz to come help, Price patting you on the shoulder and proceeding to rip the long receipts to shreds as he gets out the car, not even giving them a glance.
#this is so self indulgent#y’all have no idea how deep I’m getting myself into cod/tf141 rn#god I love these men 😭💗#cod 141#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#kyle garrick x reader#simon riley x reader#john price x reader#soap x reader#gaz x reader#ghost x reader#captain price x reader#tf 141 x reader fluff
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you let out a soft whimper of pain as toji collapses into the bed beside you. he freezes and gives you a confused look.
“ya alright, angel?”
the movement of the bed had jolted you in just the wrong way and now you were back to square one… in pain.
“yeah,” you sigh, moving yourself gently so as to not disturb your back anymore, “just startled me a little that’s all.”
he shakes his head.
“cut the bullshit, what’s wrong?”
you hesitate for a moment, not wanting to be perceived as weak or a burden. the pain in your lower back was intense though.
“just another flare up… it’s okay though. it’s not that bad.”
you were lying straight through your teeth and he could tell. he moves softly so that he doesn’t move you to much and runs his hand under your shirt, barely touching your skin.
“right here?”
you nod and wince as he puts the slightest pressure on it.
“sorry,” he mumbles as he continues to rub your back softly, “this helpin’, at all?”
you nod, the warmth of his big hand and gentle touches soothing the ache in your joints. toji places a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“i’m gonna go warm up a heating pad and get you some medicine, okay doll?”
you nod again, relaxing fully into the covers.
“… sorry.”
your voice is muffled by the pillow you’d burrowed your face into.
“for what? don’t be sorry, ya can’t control it,” he scolds. you pout at the loss of his warmth as he slowly gets up to go get some things for you.
“i’ll be right back… and don’t even think for a second in that pretty little head that you’re a bother, ya understand?”
you huff out a laugh.
“yeah.. I understand.”
#THIS IS SO SELF INDULGENT OMG#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji#toji x reader#toji x you#toji comfort#toji x y/n#toji fluff#jjk fluff#straight from the notebook! <3
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[7:37 pm] - gyu
“so pretty,” it’s barely above a whisper, you hardly even catch it. you stop your movements to turn your head from your vanity mirror humming in question. mingyu’s ears flush a deep burgundy before he turns his head the to side and scratches his neck, embarrassed that he was caught. “i said,” he begins, speaking louder than intended, he clears his throat before continuing this time softer “you’re so pretty”.
this time it’s your turn to feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “oh,” you turn your eyes down, looking at your lap “thanks gyu” you chuckle awkwardly.
your relationship with mingyu isn’t a new one, in fact you’ve been together for years and known each other even longer. you just can’t seem to get over the shyness that creeps up whenever he compliments you. was it the way his eyes grow large when you catch him staring? or the way he moves to brush his hair behind his ear, regardless of its length, when he’s gathering the courage to say what he’s thinking? how about the way he grabs your hands and fidgets with your fingers, looking down at them, to distract himself? could it possibly be the way he beams at your reaction to him, as if he’s said the worlds most absurd thing? you honestly couldn’t tell, but whatever it was it had your heart melting every time.
mingyu walks up behind you placing a hand on your head, pulling you from your thoughts. sliding his fingers through your hair he begins petting you, soft smile on his face. “can i watch you,” he asks timidly. you nod your head, expecting him to go back to his spot at the end of your shared bed but instead he stays put, watching you intently from behind.
mingyu continues playing with your hair as you finish the routine he interrupted, briefly asking questions about things you were putting on your face and the process you had.
once all was said and done your finishing spray was nice and dry and you’re ready to face the day. you do a quick once over in the mirror before turning to look up at mingyu “what do you think? does it look okay,” you ask, expecting a simple answer. mingyu’s eyes widen and he quickly brings his hand up to his neck, rubbing furiously. he nods before whispering a soft “pretty”. you smile and thank him before standing, reaching out to grab the belongings you planned to bring out with you before heading to the front door. mingyu takes your hand, intertwining your fingers as you walk out of your home and into the outside world, mumbling a bashful “with or without make up, you’re beautiful.”
#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#mingyu fluff#mingyu x reader#this has been sitting in my drafts and i’ve been mentally exhausted so pls accept this as an offering since i’ve been MIA lately 😭#again: incredibly self indulgent im sorry!
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domestic life (w/rafe)
about: this series is gonna be super, short and cute! just a bunch of compilation of your life with rafe + super super domestic fluff <3 send requests if you would like !
༘ ⋆🌷🫧💭₊˚ෆ
you always knew that rafe was fit, your keen eyes always travelling to the bulky parts of his body. he was handsome beyond grief, and he knew it too. but there was one thing that you never asked him; his workout.
now there was one thing. you knew he would get excited about it. judging by the amount of supplements that he tried to get you to have. all you did was wrinkle your nose as he tossed a few pills in his mouth and then grinded down his green power.
disgusting.
but here you were watching your boyfriend leave tanyhill, trying to go workout and a sudden peak of interest hit you. what if you went with him? after all, your nail technician had cancelled on you because she had caught something like the cold, and your evening was probably going to be spent laying on a couch watching modern family.
"rafe?" you called out tentatively, watching him stuff things in his bag. he looked concentrated, as he gave you a grunt in response. you bit your lip, before trying to walk closer to him.
you pinch his bicep, "rafe, where are you going?"
you know damn well where he's going, but you can't help but batt your pretty eyelashes in his direction hoping that he'd take the bait. and as always, rafe smiled at you - before jerking his hand to his bag.
"just going to the gym. gotta stay fit," he reprimanded, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead, "if you need anything, just give me a call. i'll be here for a while."
you pouted, folding your arms, and then frowning, "but what if i need you to stay?"
he cocked an eyebrow, a smirk on his face, "you need me to stay? more like want me to stay. is this because your friends cancelled on their little trip to the beach? you want me to stay, 'cause you got nobody to entertain you?"
"don't be mean rafe!"
he gave you a pointed look, a calloused hand rubbing your cheek but you couldn't help but glare.
"you're my boyfriend, what if i want to stay with you?"
then you gave him a cheeky smile, dragging him closer to you as he groaned.
"you got me, good woman. you got me good."
#he's such a loser#guys i'm in love#is this self indulgent ?? yes#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#obx fic#rafe x you#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#fluff#rafe obx#drabble#rafe x y/n#rafe fanfiction#obx rafe cameron#outerbanks rafe#cute#rafe fluff#rafe fic#rafe cameron x fem!reader#obx3#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x fem!reader#rafe cameron prompt#bunny!reader#rafecore#rafe cameron x you#div cr h-aewo#rafe cameron fluff
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Going insane at the thought of being on vacation with modern!boyfie Sukuna, and he takes you to a nice restaurant for dinner, making sure that you have a table for two in a cozy corner, all romantic with candlelight and wine. He’s holding hands with you on the table, playing with your fingers while chatting with you. And he’s so flirty and sweet, giving you butterflies with the charming things he says and the way he grins and looks at you with so much love in his eyes. The intimidating bad boy all tame and sweet just for you. From time to time he even brings your hand to his lips and kisses it while looking deeply in your eyes, in a way that tells you without words that Sukuna is truly yours. Just like you are his.
You walk back to your hotel hand in hand. And you lean against Sukuna, swooning at how tall and strong he is. Swooning at how nice it is to be here with him. How sweet it is to talk to him and laugh with him. And it hits you suddenly how close Sukuna and you are. How intimate it feels to be on vacation just the two of you, spending time together away from your everyday lives. Sukuna’s large hand tightens around yours, and you know without looking, that he is smiling right now, probably thinking the same.
#i am on vacation and he is all i can think about 😭💗💗#sukuna x reader#sukuna fluff#sukuna#jjk x reader#sukuna x you#this is very self indulgent but i had to share it 💗
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JASON TODD didn't want a dog. He lived in an apartment with you, with one bedroom, a tiny kitchen and a living room that looked like the furniture decorated in it would fall apart at any moment.
But one day, he comes home to you, sleeping in your bed with a little bull mastiff puppy on his side of the bed. He stares at the dog for a few moments, before going to take off his Red Hood outfit, as though that would make the situation disappear. When he comes back, the dog was still there. Of course.
Gently, Jason shakes you awake, giving you a pointed look. "Got anything you want to share with me, babe?" He asks, eyes trailing down to the dog, still asleep on the bed. A sheepish smile crosses your face. "I can explain?" You say, though it comes out more like a question. "I was volunteering at the animal shelter and found him. He didn't like being with the other dogs in cage but they didn't have enough space to isolate him." "So you thought the best plan was to bring home a dog that can grow to be 150 pounds?" I scoffs lightly. "No, no! I'm fostering him. Just for a little bit," You say quickly. "I thought since he's still a puppy he would be adopted quickly, right? So we won't have to make space for when he gets that big." Jason lets out a soft sigh and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before speaking again. "You're too good," He murmurs softly. You smile up at him and return the kiss onto his cheek. After a few moments, Jason clears his throat and looks down at the puppy, still sprawled out onto his side of the bed. "So where am I going to sleep?" ... JASON TODD sucks at being a foster. He's terrible, horrible, even. If you were to look up 'How to not foster a dog', they would just show his face. It wasn't that he neglected the dog. He could never. He took him out on runs, fed him good food, washed him, played with him. Everything a dog owner could do. No, the reason Jason was so bad was because his first ever foster dog turned out to be a foster failure. Every time someone came by interested in adopting the puppy, Jason would be in your ear, whispering to you that it didn't seem like they knew what they were doing, or that the puppy wouldn't like living with them. Every. Single. Time.
It wasn't till the three month mark of fostering the pup, having moved to a more spacious apartment, that Jason popped the question.
"You know," He starts suddenly while the two of you were on the couch, eating Chinese take out with the dog resting on the floor nearby. "No one here seems to be right for Buster." Buster, his name for the dog. He's used it so much he actually started responding to it. "There's someone, I'm sure," You counter, taking a bite of your food. "I know there is," Jason counters. Just as you open your mouth to tell him that makes no sense, he cuts you off. "Us. We're right for Buster." "Think," He says, reaching out to grip your hand. "For three months, we've had him, we've moved with him. He has his spot in the bed, we've worked him into our schedule. He's happy. Why ruin that?" "So you want to adopt him?" You ask, making sure you understood just exactly what he was saying. It felt too good to be true. "Yeah, I do," He says with a small smile. As soon as he finishes speaking you practically lung at him, tackling him into a hug while whispering small 'thank you's. The action makes Buster jump up and want to join in on whatever is going on, leaping onto the couch and sniffing at the two of you, his massive head bumping you both. In that moment, Jason knew he made the right choice. This felt right. It felt good. It felt like home. You, him, and your giant dog.
#my old boy just passed so this is so fucking self indulgent 😭#storm speaks ⛈#storm shorts ☁️#Jason Todd#jason todd x reader#I know in some runs he does have a dog just shhhhhhhh#let me live my fantasy life#red hood#red hood x reader#jason todd fluff#jason todd x you#dc#dc comics x reader#dc x reader#This is literally so long 😭
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He likes occupying the same space as Tommy. It's - every time he looks across a room and sees him he just wants all the space between them to disappear. And - okay - yeah - Tommy has, like occupied space inside of Buck so there's - there's a little Pavlovian tic somewhere in the goo Tommy's smile can turn his brain into but also -
He likes the way it feels when they're side by side - naked or clothed - and Tommy arches his shoulder to smack it into Buck's. He likes the way his eyes dart, when they're breathing the same air and he's thinking about kissing Buck - which is a look he relishes now as much for the knowledge that he's about to be kissed as for the knowledge that he'd seen this look a half dozen times before they ever got to the kissing part. He likes the way Tommy occupies Buck's space - never overbearing but always close, close, close like if Buck asked they'd melt pieces of themselves and stick them together before everything cooled back down. He likes the way they can't quite hold hands without their arms brushing, and the way Tommy ducks his head when Buck exaggerates a flirty head tilt.
He likes a lot of things about Tommy.
He likes the way he grudgingly enters a gay bar because it's not really his scene and ends the night with a drag queens feather boa wrapped around his neck while he sings the Gaga parts of Shallow even if he gets a little pitchy.
He likes the way Tommy boops his nose, out of the blue while he's listening to Buck explain something that has no bearing on either one of them or the thing they're working towards together - still listening with rapt attention but also a little devastatingly charmed by Buck's rambles, of all things.
He likes the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs, soft and genuine, the way when he's really feeling it the ears draw back too.
He likes the way he sounds, that first time (and every time after) Buck found his prostate and he whined like a fucking siren.
He likes the way his face softens even when he's tired, worn around the edges as Buck flings a sock into his laundry basket and tucks his head up under Tommy's chin.
He hates the way Tommy shuts down every time Buck tries to bring up the future.
And it's not like - it's not like Buck isn't aware they'd sort of speed run some milestones. House keys swapped with the sort of flippancy you'd expect out of two guys whose schedules rarely lined up. A drawer in Bucks's loft for the clothes Tommy always left behind, because for some reason he liked to fling them over the balcony instead of stuff them back in his overnight bag. A toothbrush at Tommy's a month and a half in, which wouldn't be all that strange except for he'd gone out of his way to buy the same electric one Buck had in his bathroom vanity. The pin to each others phones, swapped and repeated until it was muscle memory and three weeks ago Buck had grabbed the wrong phone but he'd seen the lock screen of the two of them from their hike in Fern Dell and he'd punched the code in like it was rote before he'd even been fully awake.
Tommy'd hit a wall, though, the first time Buck brought up his lease. And it wasn't - Buck isn't always the best about understanding the shit going on in his own head, but he actually hadn't been going any particular direction there, it'd just been something to fill the lull that had popped in his head and -
Of course, when Tommy froze the fuck up Buck decided to poke at it like a particularly nasty yellowing bruise.
Kids - not his own, just the nebulous idea of them. (Tommy shifted to a conversation about cars so smoothly it'd taken Buck half an hour to notice.)
Marriage - not his own thoughts about it, just that Bobby and Athena had an anniversary coming up and man didn't it suck that Maddie and Chim never got the wedding they wanted and he'd gone to one once in Montana and it'd been in a barn and they'd had candles in Mason jars for their centerpieces before that was the thing to do. (Tommy booped his nose and scrunched his face and held out a ladle of tomato sauce for Buck to try and - son of a bitch he'd known it needed more acid and that Buck would get distracted with recipe talk.)
Homes - the idea of them. Tommy's century old ranch style rental and how it fit him, Bobby and Athena's hunt for a new home, how quiet Eddie's always felt without Chris there, and Tommy had spent an hour listing off all the things he'd fixed up for his landlady and the rent she'd been stubbornly stuffing back through his mail slot every time she found out exactly how much the labor alone for a full copper repipe cost.
So it's.
He's just.
He hates that he's about to do this, here, with his ankle hooked by Tommy's toes under the table at Micelli's when they're supposed to be enjoying six months but he's been on edge for weeks now and he's - God he wants this to work but if Tommy doesn't want to talk future then are they just gonna spend their whole lives stumbling into the next milestone? He doesn't want -
"I had something I wanted to ask -," Tommy starts, right as Buck opens his big mouth and blurts, "I want kids and that's kind of a deal breaker for me."
Tommy blinks.
Buck blinks back.
Not much better than Hot Chicks, as far as Buck is concerned. But Tommy's mouth quirks at the corners, and he jiggles his toes against the back of Buck's ankle, and -
Tommy blows out a breath. "Oh thank God."
"What?"
So he's -
Buck's confused.
"You've been fishing for months now and I thought you were..." Tommy grimaces. When he leans forward to reach for Buck's hand, his arms are tense and his fingers are clumsy. "I thought we'd gone too fast and you were throwing us in reverse and stepping on the gas."
"What," Buck says again, and rewinds.
Kids: where he'd tried to drop the bomb that there was one out in the world who already had half his genetic code and then blazed along to talk about how Chris was his favorite person in the world and Maddie had struggled with Jee and the whole foster debacle made him terrified of all the stress involved in state sanctioned parenthood.
Marriage: where he'd made some dumb joke about how many marriages ended in divorce and then reminded Tommy how much he hated the fact that weddings cost like a third of a years salary, and then told a horrendous anecdote about the way Eddie had asked Buck to come by one night after Shannon only to find him keyed up out back, with the fire pit going and Shannon's things still tucked into their plastic bag on a stool right next to it.
Home: where he'd told Tommy the house in Hershey was like a prison and he'd never felt more himself than wandering the continent trying to find himself and how the loft was suffocatingly open and of the two places where he always felt welcome, one had burned down and the other had been missing an occupant for so long it had felt sad and oppressive.
Foot in mouth Buckley.
"I brought up my lease and you looked like you were trying to figure out if you could hurdle three tables in one leap to get to the door."
Tommy groans. It's. Buck wants to be annoyed by it but he's charmed as ever.
"That - I did do that."
"So. I'm just. Tommy, I..." Because he's given himself time to think about it, since then, and he really doesn't want to re-up his lease but he's also not sure where to go from here.
"It wasn't what you're thinking, though," Tommy says, and there's a wry tilt to his grin. "Irene wants to sell me the house," he continues, and - there's got to be a point, here.
"Okay."
He likes that house. The lived in feel, the easy walk to a little public market where Buck can always find something healthy and Tommy can always come home with a growler of some new craft beer, the avocado tree in the yard and the renovations Tommy has spent half a decade on.
"When you brought it up I'd just spent two weeks trying to convince myself it was too early to ask you if you wanted to sign up for a mortgage with me."
Six months. A redo of their first embarrassing date. The wine, instead of pitchers of beer. I had something I wanted to ask -
"I want to be married, someday," Buck says, and Tommy's thumb skitters over his wrist. "And - the kid thing. That's still a deal breaker."
Tommy nods. Maybe not a surprise, but - still. That feels important.
"I still don't understand equity," Buck says, and Tommy. Tommy laughs.
"I can teach you," he says, and Buck swallows. He wants to call the waitress over, ask for too many canolli because Tommy's sweet tooth is a tyrant and Buck is still mystified by how he manages to always be so trim despite the amount of sugar he consumes.
Buck narrows his eyes. "How long a mortgage?"
He has a settlement from the city that's just been sitting around, mocking Buck for years. It'd make a good dent even with LA real estate. Tommy smiles. "Oh, 30 years, for sure, but we could refinance at least a few times."
"That's - a long time."
"Housing bubble might pop soon, and then we'd just be stuck in it."
"It's good we both have dependable government jobs."
Tommy's eyes crinkle, but his face gets serious after a moment. "Evan."
"Ask me."
Maddie's gonna fucking flip, Buck thinks. Eddie is definitely gonna give him a side eye. Bobby - Bobby will get it, probably.
Tommy hums. "You wanna share the tiramisu?" His grin is just this side of teasing, and Buck knocks a knee into his in retaliation. His eyes go soft and warm. "You wanna buy a house with me, Buckley?"
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#this isn't spec fic this is self-indulgent fluff LOOSELY inspired#by all the interviews and bts#this is mostly just me wanting a list of things buck likes about tommy
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