#this is really over 3k words LMAO why did i do this

[i314flix]

— PART ONE, PART TWO.

the one where the thought of someone liking you romantically has never crossed your mind, much less being liked by your own crush, sirius black, who proves to you that all your doubts are nonsense.

pairing: sirius black x fem!reader

word count: 3k

rating: PG-15

content: fluff, established relationship au; gryffindor!reader

warning/s: mentions of being insecure, low self-esteem

opening note. it took a whole year for me to finish writing this part two lmao, but for the readers who got to read part one way back, i hope y’all like this!

Being seen with Sirius—and frequently, might you add—indeed became the talk of the town for the first few days.

As soon as the news spreaded, Iris and Martha, your close friends, interrogated you endlessly inside your shared room at the dormitory, asking a bunch of questions that ranged from how did Sirius confess and what did you feel for the aforementioned guy.

They labeled themselves as ridiculous and as oblivious as you were when they realized that all the gestures that Sirius has been doing in all the times they accused him of liking Iris were actually directed to you. They apologized, for not seeing it themselves and for not thinking of you as the person Sirius liked, and told you that they were going to be happy and supportive of you as long as they saw that you were happy too and that Sirius treated you well.

When your Hogsmeade date came, you spent the whole day just getting to know Sirius. Turns out, he was more well-mannered than you thought. He was a gentleman; he opened doors for you, offered to pay for everything, was the one who ordered your meal, stood up whenever you wanted to follow up something from the counter, and carried your bag when you bought some sweets from Honeydukes.

But what you liked most about him now was how he seemed genuinely interested in you and whatever that happened in your life. He made it apparent that he really was keen on discovering more about who you really were, from your hobbies, to your favorite things, and where you grew up.

“My parents… I don’t know if you’ve heard it from somewhere,” you began as you walked with him back to the path that led back to the Hogwarts castle, “but they’re, uh, Muggles. So, that means—”

“You’re Muggleborn,” Sirius supplied for you, appearing not even the slightest bit bothered by the fact. “And you don’t have any siblings, do you?”

You answered him, quite confused that he didn’t dwell too much on your revelation, but chose to drop it for now. “None.”

“Ah, so that makes you the only witch in your family.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “uh, does that sound okay?”

He glanced at you with a quirk of his eyebrow. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know. You’re a Pureblood, and you come from an excellent line of wizards.”

“You have a point,” he said, still nonchalant as ever, “but I’m… well, you can say I’m a bit different from them. I mean, to start it off, I’m a Gryffindor.” He chuckled. “Plus, I’ve moved out from my home decades ago.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I live with James over the summer. His parents treat me as their own. Nicest couple, the Potters.”

“Wow. I never knew.”

“Well, being a teenage runaway and an outcast in my own family isn’t exactly something I should be proud of.”

You both laughed.

You were relieved to find out that there was no issue about you being a Muggleborn, especially since as stated, he came from a family of impressive and some well-known wizards who—from what you remembered—believed that being a Pureblood was equivalent to being practically royalty in the wizarding world.

Even if you knew that he wasn’t like that to begin with, there was still some doubt in your mind that perhaps his mindset is the same as theirs, considering that you’ve been a victim of prejudice over the years you studied in Hogwarts and was even called a Mudblood by a Pureblood student when you surpassed them on an exam in second year.

So, to have a confirmation right now was great. You were happy to hear from him that he didn’t have any problem with it, unlike some people who you’ve caught muttering to themselves about how Sirius could associate himself with a person like you, which inevitably led to some insecurities building up.

“Do you reckon I can get away with taking you out again next week?” asked Sirius once you were back in the Gryffindor common room, stopping before you where you stood at the last step of the stairs leading to the girl’s dormitory.

Your eyebrows rose. “There’ll be a next time?”

“Yes. If that’s okay with you,” he said with a patient smile. “Or did I read the signals wrong and you actually hated spending time with me today?”

“Don’t be foolish. I didn’t hate it.”

“You didn’t?”

“Not one bit.”

“Then how did you like it?” He was suddenly doing it again, that thing he does wherein he moves closer to you and you were bound to move away because of shyness, but somehow at this instance, you couldn’t command your feet to do its usual response.

“Hm?”

“Was it nice?” He continued, a hand now placed on the stairs’ handrail, leaning towards it. “Was it okay? Was it average? Would you ever want to be with me again?” He was teasing, it was evident on his big smile and his mischievous expression.

“I think you already know the answer to that.” You frowned cutely.

“Oh, I really don’t.”

“Sirius…”

“Tell me what you think,” he urged, tone gentle.

There were girls from your house walking down the steps, seeing the scene of Sirius gazing at you and you looking flustered playing in front of them. They hushed among themselves, glancing at you in envy, and you felt your cheeks burn at the attention.

“It was nice.” You told him finally.

“Just nice?”

“Wonderful,” you corrected.

He nodded solemnly, waiting.

“And I’d like to do it again sometime.”

He grinned. “That’s more like it. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

You smiled down at the floor. “As if I was going to say something else.”

He lifted your chin up so that your eyes could meet. “Still, I like hearing it come from your lips.”

Before you went upstairs to your room, Sirius reached for your hand and kissed the back of it, winking at you and then heading to the boy’s dormitory.

For the following weeks, the both of you were consistently hanging out and going on dates. It reached a point wherein your respective friend groups were starting to merge. It was either Martha and Iris who were going to be with you two, while anyone from Sirius’ own friends tagged along and joined the party as well.

You were naturally growing more comfortable with Sirius day by day. You even allowed him to hold your hand by the third date. He has stolen a few kisses on your forehead and cheek, and has laid his head on your lap whenever you were in the Gryffindor common room, Sirius sometimes getting your hand and placing it gently on his hair, asking if you would stroke it as he tried to take a nap.

Everything was going at such a smooth and great pace.

Sirius was great. His friends were great. What you were feeling for him was getting stronger.

The only problem was the bitter people who had no business having a say in your blooming relationship.

You knew you shouldn’t mind them, but it was hard when you could hear students whispering about you in classes and during breaks, always going on about how someone like you didn’t seem to be a good fit for Sirius, either in deep belief that Purebloods shouldn’t date Muggleborns or that you were far too quiet and timid to be a wonderful match for the ever so magnetic Sirius Black.

You couldn’t agree more, to be frank. However, your greediness and happiness were what mattered to your most in situations like these that you managed to fade those comments out.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt though.

Or influenced you to sometimes see yourself in a harsher light.

“I knew you’d still be here,” Sirius spoke from behind you, a quick kiss being planted on your temple before he took the spot next to you on the sofa.

It was past midnight, and you were still working on an essay for History of Magic. You promised Sirius an hour or two ago that you weren’t going to stay up too late, but you haven’t been adding any new paragraphs to your essay because of your overthinking, so that meant you also haven’t reached your personal quota that was made in the first place to prevent you from cramming the said output.

“I thought you were going to sleep,” you replied, looking at him as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “Didn’t you say you have training for Quidditch in the morning?”

“I do.”

“Which means you really have to go to bed.”

“I tried to. Really. But I couldn’t.”

“Why not? Do you need warm milk or a frame that has dozens of sheep for you to count to help you get drowsy?”

He rolled his eyes. “Ha, very funny, but I actually wanted to make sure that you were already in your room. It’s not good to be here all alone.”

“I do it all the time. Nobody’s usually up in the common room at this hour, anyways.”

“Well, next time, tell me, so I’ll keep you company.”

“Oh, but that won’t be necessary.”

“I’m aware,” he said. “However, I insist. Come on, love, we’ve talked about this.”

You smiled, apologetic. “Sorry. I should know better, shouldn’t I?”

“Well, you told me that you’re still getting used to it, so I’m not holding that against you.”

“Yeah. But that’s just it, actually. I know that I should be getting used to it. To us… to you… but my brain keeps telling me that it’s bad to do so.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know,” you trailed awkwardly, realizing that you might have said too much, but you didn’t want to stop giving him a little bit more of your thoughts, getting a sudden rush of courage you’ve been wanting to have, “perhaps just, I feel like… I don’t deserve this. Any of what’s happening between us.”

Sirius stared at you, confused. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I just feel like this is all a wonderful dream that I’d have to wake up from soon.”

“____,” he began to say your name, but you shook your head, already sensing where it was heading.

“You don’t have to say anything, Sirius. It doesn’t have anything to do with how you’re making me feel.”

“Then what’s making you think this way? Is it because of what the others are saying?”

In your silence, he got the answer he needed.

“It’s absolute rubbish, you know,” he said. He sat up straight too, appearing more passionate now. “People don’t know what they’re blabbering about. All they want is to stick their noses into others’ businesses when they don’t know anything.”

“Sometimes they have a point, though.”

“Such as?”

“Such as you being a Pureblood and me being a Muggleborn not making any sense.”

He seemed frustrated at that. His nostrils flared a bit when you mentioned it. “Since when did that matter anymore? Lily and James are literally the same.”

“Yeah, but we’re not the same same as them. We’re still different. Lily’s different. She’s much more spectacular than I am.”

 “Come on, you’re being absurd. You’re amazing, ____.”

You had the nerve to laugh. “It’s fine, really. You don’t have to make me feel better. If there’s something that I’m used to, it’s this.” You sighed, going back to your previous position and focusing back on your parchment. “I’m sorry I brought it up in the first place.”

“No, don’t be,” he reached for your hand and forced you to face him again, in which you did, but you still couldn’t look him in the eyes. “I should be the one apologizing. I haven’t been checking up on you about this. I should have known better that this was something that would bother you.”

“What do you even see in me, Sirius?”

“What?”

“We nearly have nothing in common. You should be someone who’s at the same level as you are.”

“No, I don’t. I much rather be with you—regardless of how different we are, I don’t particularly care and I never thought of it as an issue nor will I ever do.” Sirius pursed his lips, appearing a bit nervous now because of what he was going to say. “Look, ____, I like you so much. I like every aspect of you and what kind of person you are. I see what you’re made of, and I cherish you very much because of it. I like your kindness, your wit, your energy, and your whole being. You’re simply the easiest person to adore, and I’m utterly puzzled that you cannot see it.”

Your tongue felt dry. No one has ever declared what they felt for you in that manner before. It caused your eyes to tear up a bit at the overwhelming reality that there was a person out there who saw you this way, who liked you for who you are and didn’t give two cents of what others thought of about it. You were so accustomed to being unseen, not given that much importance to, that to have Sirius tell you what you meant to him brought indescribable contentment in your heart.

So, without thinking, you leaned towards him and kissed his lips, bringing your arms around his neck while he parted his mouth in surprise, nonetheless wrapping his own around your waist to support your weight on him.

Sirius reciprocated the kiss, matching the vigor you were showing him, despite being shocked that you were the one who initiated your first ever real kiss with him. He was under the impression that it would take more dates before the both of you would reach this point, a concept that he didn’t have any problem with since he was sincere when he said he’d be patient with you, and that he’d be the one who was going to test the waters before asking if you were good with the thought of him planting a kiss on your lips.

“I like you so much too, Sirius,” you whispered, pulling away and gasping for air. “Having you be in my life is perhaps one of the most unexpected yet greatest things to happen to me.”

He grinned at that, pressing another firm kiss on your lips that made you sigh. “You’re so wonderful, love. I should’ve been with you since first year if only I wasn’t a bloody coward.”

You both laughed at his statement.

“It’s fine,” you assured him. “You have a lifetime now to show me what I’ve been missing.”

“You’re exceptionally bold tonight.” He observed.

“Well, the guy I have been crushing on and dating just made a heartfelt declaration of his attraction to me so I’m feeling my best.”

“About time that he did, honestly. Will this guy have the honor of being officially your boyfriend if he asked tonight?”

Your eyes widened. “That depends. Is he going to ask right now?”

“He’s about to. Just after he stops pretending that he’s pertaining to another guy and not himself.”

Another laugh and you were kissing him again, Sirius holding onto you tightly as he kept you in his embrace.

“Be mine?” he murmured against you, drawing his head back a little so he could stare directly at your eyes.

You smiled. You were on cloud nine; there was nothing that could ruin your entire year. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Sirius leaned for a longer kiss, much longer than the one you just shared earlier. He thought of how he could stay all night like this, how he might have to fake sickness just to ditch quidditch practices so he wouldn’t have to wake up so damn early, but before he could seriously contemplate it, you retracted your mouth from his and was telling him that he should go back to sleep because he had a tiring day ahead of him.

He frowned, wanting to kiss you again but you shook your head, evading his advances and giggling. “Sirius, you have practice in a few hours,” you told him again, “and I have to finish my essay too. You should head back.”

“For real?”

“For real.”

“But—”

“No, no.” You stood up and pulled him with you. “As your girlfriend now, my opinion holds more bearing, so when I say that you should go back to sleep—”

“I should follow you?” he finished, allowing you to lead him back to where the boy’s dormitory is headed.

You grinned, teasing. “Only if you want to, of course.”

He snorted. “You promise not to stay up too late? Because as your boyfriend, I should be entitled to stop you from making bad decisions as well.”

“Yes, I won’t. You have my word.”

“Good.” Sirius pecked your lips. “Goodnight, beautiful.”

An even bigger grin made its way to your features. “Goodnight. I’ll see you at lunch?”

He nodded. “You’ll probably catch me standing at the Gryffindor table too. I have to announce to the whole school that you’re my girlfriend. Can’t have anyone thinking you’re still available, right?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would.”

“Sirius.”

“Goodnight. Dream of me, would you?” He snickered, abruptly rushing to the dormitory and leaving you there, speechless.

You were positive that he was only bluffing to tease the hell out of you who was not a fan of too much attention, but somehow, considering Sirius’ track record of being mischievous, you suddenly feared that he was not bluffing like you reckoned him to be.

Not to mention that he could be really petty at times too, and given that a lot of students still did not believe that a person like him would like a person like you, making a dramatic proclamation of how much he liked you and how much he hated those who couldn’t keep their idiotic opinions to themselves would certainly make a point.

For some reason, you found yourself smiling at the idea, secretly pleased that you had Sirius—the person you were now sure would move the earth and moon for you if that was what you wanted.

gentle reminder: this author is a sucker for validation so please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts about this! ♡

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Jake Seresin And The Unfortunate Hat Situation

jake seresin x fem!reader 3k words

summary: You’re visiting Jake’s family in Texas for the first time and so far, it’s been going well. Just that Jake may have forgotten to mention the hat rule. 

another cowboy fic because i fucking can

disclaimer: strong allusions to smut. im not kidding. this is basically straight up dirty talk all the way through

a/n: i’m warning you once about all the inaccuracies in here and thats it. read at your own risk. i have literally no clue whatsoever about texas and/or cowboys and did not have it in me to research cowboy history for hours on end, like- i tried, okay? i really did try. i know facts about cowboy hats now that i never felt the need to know (though “dont sleep with your cowboy hat on”, um... yeah? thanks? i totally would have done that otherwise) but i still do not have the information to back this shit up lmao

top gun masterlist

(yes i did have to use an everybody wants some gif. during the past week ive rewatched this film more times than i can count and i will take every opportunity i get to talk about it)

“Enlighten me”, you chuckled, spreading your arms, a bottle of beer in your right hand. “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats? Isn’t that kind of their thing?”

You were visiting Texas for the first time - a week off of work, away from the Navy and the Dagger Squad for a bit, to meet Jake’s friends and family back home. You’d talked to most every one of them over the phone whenever he had found the time to call, but you’d never actually met them in person before this. So it had been an adventure from the start: getting on a plane in San Diego to take you to Texas where Jake had grown up, being picked up at the airport by his mother, driving two hours to the farm they owned (”You grew up on a farm?”, you’d asked when he’d told you, wheezing at the mental image of teenage Jake herding sheep), meeting his dad, being surprised by both his sisters, getting to see his childhood bedroom. 

And then, to top it off: the sound of his alarm at the crack of dawn this morning to go teach you how to ride a horse. 

Needless to say that you’d been buzzing with nervous energy for the past few days. Not that you weren’t happy - it was just all a bit much at once. 

After lunch he’d taken you into the city and you’d gone shopping for some real cowboy boots. He’d planned to take you to a bar in the evening, to introduce you to some friends. After all you only had a week here and neither of you felt like missing out on something. 

When you’d wanted to try cowboy hats in the store too, Jake had snatched them from you and grabbed your hands, pulling you close to him, telling you that you’d get one when you’d become a real cowgirl. Since you doubted that would ever happen, you’d pouted and tried to convince him with kisses and, when that hadn’t worked, half-hearted threats, but he wouldn’t be persuaded even the slightest. He’d only looked down at you with raised eyebrows until you’d caved and satisfied yourself with cursing under your breath. 

So here you were: Cowboy boots, jeans shorts and a button-up and no cowboy hat in sight. 

Actually, there was one in sight. Jake was wearing his, in all his Texan glory, laughing with some of his friends at the bar. The thing was, he was the only guy wearing his hat. There were some cowboys strutting about with them on their heads, but most of them didn’t have one - hat hair, yes, but no hat. Hence your initial question: “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats?” 

“Shit, Jake didn’t tell you?”, Kendra - one of Jake’s only female friends here, who’d immediately decided she liked you and pulled you to one of the tables for some girl talk - let out a laugh. “No wonder it’s still on his head. We were getting worried already.” 

It was pretty clear to everyone that you weren’t from around here, so you saw no reason to hide your confusion.

“Now you’ve lost me entirely. What?”, you asked, masking your frown with a laugh. You’d been here for hardly two days and you didn’t think you’d felt as embarrassed ever before. You knew about literally nothing. At least you’d done somewhat well at horseback riding, which could’ve been because of Jake’s arms around you and his hands over yours as you - he - held the reins, but either way you were proud of yourself for not falling off and landing on your ass. 

“It’s like this: Ladies didn’t wear hats for a really long time. Cowboys wore the hats. So when you saw a lady with a cowboy hat on - that was her man’s. A sign that she belonged to him. Property shit and all.” She waved it off as if dismissing the concept. “Changed over the past few decades, of course. Better that way too. Ladies can wear whatever they want now. But the thought kind of stuck. You see a guy without a hat, he’s probably taken. You see a girl with a hat, that’s probably her man’s. And before you ever steal a hat, you should know the hat rule.” 

You raised your eyebrows. Your stomach did weird little flips as she talked. Jake hadn’t explained any of this to you. 

“The hat rule?”, you asked. Kendra grinned and leaned in, pretending to let out some big secret. 

“You wear the hat”, she said and paused for a second for dramatic effect, “You wear the cowboy.” 

You breathed out. 

“Oh.” 

Oh my ass, you thought. 

Jake hadn’t let you buy your own hat for a reason. And then he’d gone ahead and not given you that reason. What the actual fuck. 

You would’ve loved to wear his hat. You would’ve loved the thought of him claiming you like that, letting you wear his hat, showing everyone that yeah, you were Jake Seresin’s girl. But no. He’d left you completely in the dark, hadn’t let a single word slip. And he was still wearing that goddamn hat himself. 

Like a single fucking guy, not a man in a loving relationship.

Somehow, now that you knew, you were more annoyed by the fact that he was wearing it than that he just hadn’t told you at all. God, he could’ve left it at home. He could’ve taken it off. He could’ve just put it on your head without telling you why if he didn’t want to. 

And right there, that was the part you just didn’t understand. Why hadn’t he told you? He should have known you well enough by now to realise that you would absolutely adore wearing that hat. Not only because you wanted to wear a hat (which you did) but also because you wanted to wear his hat (which you did even more). After all, it wasn’t only him claiming you - it was you claiming him as well. And as horrible as the history of that hat rule was, in this present day you felt like it would only have been fair of him to tell you. You wanted to have that chance of showing him off. Of him showing you off, which he did so happily back in San Diego. 

“Hey”, Kendra said, her expression a bit more serious as she put a hand to your arm and pulled you from your thoughts. “I’m sure Jake didn’t mean to hurt you. He may seem like a bastard, but he’s actually a real sweetheart.” 

You snorted at her, nodding along. 

“He is”, you agreed. “Which is kind of why it hurts even more. I don’t get why he wouldn’t just tell me. It’s not like he’s ever been scared I’d say no to him or something.”

Kendra smiled and squeezed your arm reassuringly. 

“Try not to worry about it too much. Just ask him when you get home later, yeah? Communication is key.” Her smile turned into a grin. She winked at you. “And hey, you can always wear my hat if you’d like.” 

You forced yourself to smile as well as you took a sip of your beer. “If I actually were single, I’d definitely take you up on that offer, but I’m not, and I don’t think Jake would like it much.” 

Her grin only deepened. She had dimples, you realised, and the hat on her head matched her eye colour. You were glad to have her here with you. She was someone you were sure you could become good friends with over time. 

“That makes it even better”, she said conspicuously. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her ankles over the edge of the table as she tipped her hat back. “He never told you about the hats. You don’t know anything in his eyes, honey. Use it against him.” 

There was a twinkle in her gaze that told you she was looking for nothing short of mischief and you had the distinct feeling that she’d been the ‘bad influence’ on Jake in high school that he’d talked about so often. She seemed like a troublemaker. But she also seemed genuine. And she was right - in Jake’s eyes, you were getting to know one of his friends, talking about some girly stuff (which he probably assumed was himself), having a nice night. Not learning about cowboy customs that he’d just so forgotten to mention. 

Jake usually didn’t get jealous. He trusted you the same way you trusted him. But he got possessive nonetheless - always with a hand on your back when you were talking to someone he thought was flirting with you, kissing you at the most inappropriate times, making sure that everyone knew you were his. Now he’d had the goddamn chance and hadn’t taken it. And you didn’t fucking know why. 

But you were damn determined to find out. 

Kendra slid the hat off her head and offered it to you. You took one deep breath before you reached for it. 

You let your fingertips skip over the rim for a moment. Were you really about to do this? Then you put it on your head. 

Alright. If Jake wasn’t going to tell you about the way this worked on his own accord, you’d make him tell you. 

Kendra emptied her beer and you followed suit before the both of you got up. She grabbed both bottles in one hand, turning to you to send you another of those winks. 

“I’ll bring these back to the bar and get us new ones. The dancefloor’s all yours.” 

With a nervous smile, you adjusted your newly aqcuired hat and made your way onto the dancefloor. There was soft music playing in the background - country, of course, loud but not loud enough to disturb conversation. It wasn’t late enough for that just yet. Which was honestly a relief, since you had zero clue whatsoever about line dancing or whatever it was they did down here. This way there were only a few couples twirling each other back and forth and some people moving to the beat all on their own. You let out a breath and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to really feel the music: the guitar, the steady drums, the vocals. 

Slowly, you started swaying - from one side to the other, turning, twirling, one step, then the next, heels here, toes there. A grin was making its way onto your face. The music grew, not as much in volume as in pace, and you didn’t know just when you had started to forget about everything except your movements (like the people watching, for example), but then the song changed and you gasped as you realised you knew it. Eyes fluttering open, hands coming together to clap, lips twisting into an actual laugh as you sang along, catching Kendra’s gaze and waving her over. 

She joined you with a laugh, grabbed your hand to twirl you around, and god, her voice was heavenly. For just a split second you wondered how Jake hadn’t ended up falling for her. You certainly would have. 

And speaking - more like thinking, but whatever - of the devil, you felt an all too familiar hand on your shoulder. You turned at the same time that Kendra let go of you, allowing you to admire your boyfriend in all his furious glory. 

Not that he actually looked furious. Not to anyone but you, not with that facade he wore whenever anyone got under his skin. But you, well... You’d been with him long enough to understand that twitch of his jaw, that tension in his shoulders, that flicker in his eyes. And yet - the cowboy hat still sat on his head. 

“I got it from here, Kendra”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, as you held your breath. She snorted, but still made to move away, muttering something under her breath that you didn’t catch. Then Jake spoke again. “Take your hat, Kendra.” 

He grabbed it from where it rested on your head and threw it at her without looking away from you. She sucked in a breath. 

“If you throw my hat again, I’ll kick your ass, Seresin”, she said and you could tell that even though they were friends, she wasn’t kidding. Shit, the people here were really fucking serious about their hats. Another reason why you were mad at Jake for not telling you about any of it. 

“Next time, don’t set it on my girl’s head”, he growled - growled, really, you didn’t know what else to call it. She scoffed and walked off. 

“How could she know I was your girl?”, you whispered, challenging him even though he already looked like you’d crossed some line that he’d drawn without telling you. “How could anyone?” 

For a few moments, he kept quiet. You defiantly stared up at him. Should he think whatever he fucking wanted to, this was entirely his fault. 

Then something changed in his expression. 

“You found out about the hat rule”, he said, “And the first thing you did was go and put on somebody else’s.” 

“Well if my boyfriend doesn’t want to have me wear his hat-” 

You couldn’t react as quickly as Jake had gripped you by the waist and pulled you close to him, forcing you to tip your head back to keep looking at him. He was, in fact, so close now that you could just kiss him and honestly, you were tempted. Just as tempted as you’d been when he’d come out of the bathroom looking like that, just as tempted as you’d been when you’d left the house, just as tempted as you’d been in his truck. But you were also stubborn. And you had good reasons not to kiss him right now (even though they were getting harder and harder to remember by the second).

“Darling, I’d go wild for you with my hat on.” 

You swallowed. Hard. 

“So why am I not wearing it?”, you asked through gritted teeth. You couldn’t quite believe just how easily this whole situation was getting under your skin. But it seriously hurt your ego - and not just that. The fact that Jake hadn’t told you about something so important in his hometown, some, as ridiculous as it may be, piece of culture, something that would so clearly show everyone that you were dating him, really, actually, seriously dating him, stung more than you wanted to admit. It was like someone had asked him outright if he was taken and he’d said no. 

“‘Cause I told you to wait”, he drawled, “Didn’t I? Wait ‘til you’re a real cowgirl.” 

Curiosity and frustration were mixing in your stomach, a weird, dangerous combo. You grabbed for his collar, pulling on it just a bit too hard - nothing he couldn’t stand his ground against. You were feeling insulted by all this and you found that you should let him know. 

“What’s a girl like me gotta do to become one in your eyes, hm, Hangman?” 

Hangman. You only called him that when you meant business. It was like a mother using her child’s full name whenever it got in serious trouble. Jake stiffened, fingers digging into your hips so firmly that you were sure you’d be able to see the marks in the mirror later on. You’d hit a nerve. Always did when you called him by his callsign. No more Jake, no more baby, none of that. 

“Behave”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, that one word carrying so much more meaning. You didn’t care. For once, you really didn’t fucking care. You wanted him riled up, wanted him furious, wanted him right at this breaking point. So you smiled.  

“Like a dog?” 

He’d smashed his lips on yours before you could react. 

All teeth and tongue, decisive, possessive, angry. You didn’t want to give in as quickly as you did. But he hardly left you a choice - he was everywhere, arms wrapped so tightly around you, chest pressed so firmly against yours, not giving you the option to escape, to duck away, to tease him any further. So instead of doing that, instead of making him run after you more, you let him have the control. All of it. Instead of turning, instead of making him chase you, you pulled him close to you by his collar with all the force you could manage, pulled him into you, pulled him with you as you stumbled backwards from the sudden change of weight, put your entire trust in him to keep you upright. You couldn’t breathe. You didn’t want to if that meant letting go. 

Not with how much emotion you were putting into this fucking kiss. 

Jake was the one to break away first. Pupils blown, cheeks reddened (you were sure you looked even worse), panting. You loosened your grip on his collar and ran a hand through your hair instead. 

Somewhere in the back of your head, you remembered that you were still in a bar, still in the middle of the dancefloor, still under the watchful eyes of his friends. A different part was screaming at you to fuck it and fuck him right here, right now. 

“Shit”, he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. His hat let a shadow fall over both your faces. “You’re gon’ be the death of me someday.” 

“Hopefully not too soon”, you teased, a smile playing on your lips as he pulled back just a bit. “I still gotta find out how to become a cowgirl after all.” 

The corner of his mouth quirked up as well. He raised his eyebrows, examining you for a second. 

“You really wanna know, sweetheart?” 

You let out a laugh. “Fuck yeah.” 

He leaned in close, breath ghosting over the shell of your ear, and you had to swallow. This felt intimate, somehow. 

“You’re gon’ be a cowgirl once you rode your cowboy.” 

Your breath caught in your throat. He pulled back with a grin. Smug, you realised. He was so fucking proud of himself for this - for having caught you off guard like that. You couldn’t let him win that easily. Not with that already inflated ego. 

“All of this just to get me into your bed?”, you chuckled. “Damn, Seresin. Lotta work for no reason, hm? I’m in it at the end of every day anyway.” 

He shrugged - as best as he could with his hands still on your waist. 

“What can I say? I aim to please.” 

You couldn’t help but grin too. The angry, sizzling tension had dissolved into something much more pleasant, much more dizzying. Something that set your skin ablaze and your mind on fire. You grabbed one of his hands from your waist and intertwined your fingers with his. 

“Want to get out of here?”, you asked. He leaned in and kissed you with a smile - slow and steady and sensual, wholly different from before. 

When he pulled back, you were breathless again. 

“Always.” 

[driaswrld]

ultraviolence — gojo satoru and geto suguru.

wc : 3k

summary : suguru coming home was supposed to make things better. but, it's as if everything is going wrong again.

part of : the star paradox collection.

notes : pls read this and this first ty!! LORE DUMP 🤭 mostly from sugu n toru's pov dealing with their new life and the twins along with jujutsu society. reader is trying to be the mediator as always and shoko is the best ofc. just the one where everyone has an existential crisis. (part one of two hopefully)

other : I PROMISE YOU'LL GET FLUFF SOON 😭 mentions of alcohol, blood, smoking obvi, idk why i named this ultraviolence lmao (shit hits the fan in the next tsr im js trying to be kind i promise!)

comment to be added to the tsr taglist!

current cassette : pretty when you cry - lana del rey

You come home to a house colder than you left it.

There’s a small comfort in the droplets of water that splatter against the wooden floor when you hang your jacket up, having remembered the way the girls beamed up at you only an hour ago as you walked them to school.

The twins were adamant to hold your hands, Mimiko blushing the whole time and Nanako poking fun at it, promising to hold your hand everyday until they became big girls.

Big girls that would only need you to hold their hand halfway — the same way Suguru only walks you and Satoru halfway to the school before heading back.

But the sliver of a chill that reverberates through your bones doesn’t resemble the comfort of a morning’s soft rain drizzle.

“You can’t just dismiss the issue like this, Satoru!”

“Where’s my own will, huh? Can’t I just do this?”

“This isn’t about you.”

You hear everything for a moment, muffled shouts and grumbles from the bathroom.

“Yeah, you’ve made that pretty clear, haven't you?”

Then you hear nothing at all.

The investigation launched on the ninth day in December.

Suguru had all but been home for a week and then some, settling into the shoddy apartment you and Satoru called home between missions and meetings with Yaga and the higher ups.

It took half a day to move his old things out of the dormitory building, most of what really mattered was already sitting in the hall closet untouched, kept the way Suguru would’ve wanted it.

It was after he rifled through the closet in search of a fresh set of clothes did he realize, he had been mourned.

You and Satoru had mourned him like a mother would a child, like a womb stretched to make space, only to bleed.

His clothes smelled more like the both of you than it did him.

The fourth day, Suguru spent the night hunched over the balcony, smoking a silver blue parliament with Shoko while you and Satoru attended a hearing with the higher ups.

A necessary audience, they defined over the cryptic email.

Shoko described it as a means to an end, Satoru was still the strongest and you were his voice. The meeting was all but a farce to keep you two in check — but Suguru read it clearly for what it was.

A threat.

“He’ll be clan head,” Suguru murmured between plumes of smoke. “They won’t let him turn it down any longer, especially with me around.”

At this, Shoko chuckled, sucking in a sharp breath.

“You think he’ll do it this time?” She asked, somewhere between knowing and not knowing.

The higher ups want Satoru under their thumbs — not that you’d so much as let them come close — that much is evident. But it’s become a lose to win situation.

The guarantee that Suguru and the girls would remain untouched and hidden under the condition that he follows their rules, does it their way, doesn’t ask, doesn’t so much as breathe a word or commit an action using his own strength outside their command—

“Satoru as a lap dog?” Suguru laughs a little.

He just can’t picture it.

What he can picture though is the Six Eyes user backed into a corner, with no other choice but to concede. Then again, Satoru’s never been submissive to authority, no matter the setting.

A beat of silence passes over him and Shoko, and she knows what he’s thinking before he says it, yet she doesn’t caution him otherwise nor does she blame the nicotine.

“He could kill them.” Suguru says, “It wouldn’t take him long.”

The seventh day, Suguru stands in the middle of one of the many engawa corridors of Jujutsu High, dressed like a teenage dropout, teeth sinking into the inside of his cheeks until crimson stains his tongue.

You told him last night while cuddled into his side, Satoru’s head on his chest, “Walk away from it the right way, Suguru.”

And admittedly, he was going to laugh a little, kiss your cheek and maybe lull you back to sleep and ease your worries.

I don’t resent you,

for the path you chose.

As long as you swear,

yours and ours will converge.

“Geto, what is this?”

Suguru looks down at the sealed envelope he passed to Yaga seconds ago, the word resignation printed in bold atop the sealed flaps.

If he intends to kill himself, he should at least do it the way you asked him to.

He owes you that much.

Suguru never thought of himself to have been in a position where he could live past twenty ; he thought he was lucky Satoru even let him live to see the first snow, even if it was from the bittersweet solitude of the bed you three shared.

“I’ll graduate first,” Suguru says, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets.

For the sake of saving face he took a total of ten missions after his sentence was pardoned.

Five to prove he wasn't a liability to the Jujutsu world, two to hover by your side – he hadn't realized post traumatic stress could manifest in the need for more physical attachment – and three to see up close just how much Satoru had on his shoulders now.

To see just how different Satoru had become because of him.

“And then?” Yaga asks it like a cruel joke that only he and Suguru know.

People are talking. People have been talking.

Suguru Geto the defect. Suguru Geto the cancer of the strongest. Suguru Geto the curse. Suguru Geto—

“Maybe I’ll die of old age.”

I pray death finds me

under you two

in our bed.

If not,

kill me yourselves.

There’s meaning in that too.

That same afternoon, brandished with what should be newfound freedom – Suguru Geto. Not the sorcerer, not the curse, not the man – he drinks himself sick until he blacks out on the sofa.

Alcohol is cheap at Shinanoya, it’s been that way since he was sixteen and idle in the summer of ‘06, coaxed by Satoru into printing fake IDs, blacking out on the floor of your dorm room and waking up to throw up, just to blackout again.

Suguru took the train back and passed his stop two times.

Two times he thought of two different outcomes and two different destinations.

First, he’d go back to Jujutsu High and take the resignation back from Yaga before he signed it.

He’d call your cellphone, tell you how he's had a change of heart, whisper into the line : “We should celebrate. Me, you and Satoru.”

But you’d know it was a lie.

He still has twisted dreams of waking up in a gas station bathroom in a pool of blood that isn't his own.

Dreams that don't frighten him at all.

Second, it came to him the moment he considered actually getting off at his stop and going back to the apartment.

He’d let the train take him to Shibuya, stand in the middle of the crossing and scream.

People would look at him weird, others would walk by.

And the first monkey to reach out and offer him help, he’d—

“Suguru?”

He wakes with a startle, eyes bloodshot and half lidded.

“Name—” he opens his mouth, half empty vodka bottle tilted over and soaking the carpet. Satoru comes through the door a moment later, leading the twins to the kitchen to set their half eaten bentos down.

A shiver runs down his spine when he glances at the clock above the mantle. 12:53pm.

“School ended half day,” you say to him. Satoru doesn't so much as glance at Suguru when he steps back in to take the plastic bags of takeout from your hands. “They called but you didn't—”

Suguru's already sitting up, fishing through his pockets for his phone and clicking at the buttons.

Two missed calls from Mimiko and Nanako’s school.

Two missed calls from their homeroom teacher, Ms. Aiko.

Four missed calls from you.

One voicemail from Satoru.

“I'm so— shit,” Suguru sets the bottle of alcohol upright, pressing a palm to the carpet to find it damp.

His skin is hot, he feels like a mess, no doubt he looks like a mess with the way you're already kneeling beside him to screw the bottle shut. “I’m so sorry, I didn't— everything with the letter and then the train got delayed—”

“Suguru.” Satoru speaks for the first time, looks at him for the first time – behind bandaged eyes. “Sober up by tomorrow, yeah?”

Your head flits around to give Satoru a stare, as if to ask if that's all he has to say right now. But Suguru’s fingers enclose around your wrist, it’s okay, I was the one at fault.

“Satoru—”

“Just do this one thing right, please.”

The twins’ school dismissed half day due to heavy snow this early in the month. Suguru, listed as the girls’ primary guardian, gets the calls first.

He doesn't pick up.

Your work line rings next, and it goes to voicemail.

In between exorcising a special grade in Shinjuku, you don't hear it ring.

As the devil would have it made and done, Satoru’s line rings while he's at the school. Loud.

“Gojo-san!” The lady from the admin office knocks on the door twice, and is met with silence. The phone rings again, but this time it's the main line. The office extension.

The one he’s been using since he put in his teaching application.

The phone clatters against the desk in robust vibrations, Limitless almost bending the coily cord to nothingness.

The meeting room of four higher ups and two members of the Gojo clan watch him intently, scrutinizing him, waiting.

Beyond his better judgment, Satoru tells himself it's just you, calling to ask if you should bring back kikufuku or just the udon.

Or it's Suguru, who’s confused and can't find one of his things in the apartment and needs some guidance.

Satoru's not a pious person. But he wishes he’d have prayed the moment the call went to the answer machine.

“Good day, Mr. Gojo! I’m calling regarding the girls. School’s been dismissed half day today on account of the weather but Mr. Geto nor Ms. Name are picking up.”

“I’m hoping this reaches you soon so the girls can have a ride home. Thankyou! Stay warm!”

The eighth day, you wake to the smell of jasmine and hot oil. Four messages from Yaga, one email attached, forwarded to Satoru : Adoption fraud.

“—he hates me.” Suguru mumbles, shirtless and damn near cowering from your gaze, flipping the omelet in the frying pan, two steps away to avoid the oil splatter.

“Don't say that so casually,” you shake your head, shutting the fridge door, setting a carton of milk on the counter. “It's not like you believe that.”

Suguru flips the omelet with one hand on the pan handle, the other flicking the carton open and turning it to his head in a quick gulp.

He doesn't confirm it.

“Suguru—” you smack his arm and take the milk, turning away to rummage through the pantry for the pancake mix.

“I know.”

No, Suguru.

You don't know.

"I try to be patient," Suguru says quietly, shaking his head. "I know we're not sixteen and that this and then are two different things—” He turns the flame down, refusing to look over at you.

“Nobody's asking you to be perfect,” you cut him off, pancake mix forgotten on the counter. “You made a mistake, it happens—”

The higher ups are already breathing down Satoru’s neck about the twins now that they've been found out. It's an uphill battle in the Jujutsu world, your phone won't stop ringing.

Whether it's Yaga proposing damage control to have you and Satoru set apart on missions or another higher up waiting for you to slip up and beg for help, beg to be in their debt.

“I owe you better,” Suguru whispers, more to himself than to you.

He’s never been the type to ask for help or beg for forgiveness or cower at someone's heels. But you saved him — by putting your life on the line and in turn making Satoru cover it up — and he hates himself for it.

I wish

you would've

just let me stay dead.

“Because that's what I deserve? Better?”

Suguru gets the call from Shoko the next day.

December 9, 2007.

A formal investigation is announced into the involvement of [name] [name] in the case of Suguru Geto’s defection and pardon — alleged charge : fabrication of evidence.

Satoru makes his mind up the same day, sends the twins to stay at the dorms with Shoko for the weekend and brings you and Suguru with him to the Gojo estate.

“I can feel your eyes,” you whisper, seated cross legged on the tatami floor, nursing a cup of tea in your cupped palm.

You've never liked the Gojo estate. Not in winter at least, not when it's like this.

Satoru has his back turned to you, fingering the loose cloth of white bandages covering his eyes, almost hesitant. He recalls his mother's words to him from a few hours ago.

You look tired, Satoru. You're never tired.

There’s an unspoken thing residing here between both your energies and it becomes unbearably evident.

“It’s nothing,” he murmurs, slipping the baby blue haori off his shoulders, draping it over the edge of the bed. “Just the cold getting to me 's all.”

Loose and darkened strands of hair lay on the silk sheets where Suguru sat moments ago. Satoru holds his breath.

My lover’s hair is splitting at the ends, tearing apart at the seams just like me.

I pray you don’t notice.

“Is he okay?”

You set the ceramic cup down on the table, turning your head to glance over at Satoru, who despite himself, wears his emotions like a cardigan knit tight between his brows.

“Why won’t you just ask him, ‘toru?”

He thinks he hates you. He hates not being more like you.

With the way you say these things so easily.

Maybe it’s the deep rooted thrum of Suguru’s cursed energy in his veins, or the bitter taste on his tongue when he wakes in the middle of the night just to see if he’s still here—

Maybe it’s that voice in the back of his head, the instinct pounding on the walls of his heart, telling him this is only for a while, it won’t last.

“You can’t lie to me.” Satoru reasons, bending his knees and folding his body next to yours, wrapping and unwrapping the length of cloth around his fingers over and over again. “But he can.”

Or maybe it’s the way he knows even if Suguru lied to him again, said it was okay, said that he’d stay, said that he’d let you and Satoru be selfish for once and keep him here, keep him tethered to this existence he loathes so much—

“Satoru…”

—he’d believe him.

“You feel it too, don’t you?” He sighs, near breathless.

You lift your hands to cup either side of his face, hooking your thumbs under the pale cloth, unraveling and unraveling and unraveling.

How many more layers?

How many more walls?

How many—

“His energy is restless.” Satoru could find other words to describe it, the aura, the shape of Suguru’s soul, his scent, his being, his whole existence. Something only you could understand.

“It’s pouring into me, and I can’t— I pretend I don’t feel it, that I don’t know that he’s…”

Different.

Suguru is different now, he wants to say.

Suguru’s unhappy with me, unhappy with us.

I can’t give him what he needs.

I was too selfish to have asked him to stay. You were too selfish in saving him.

We were too selfish. Do you think he hates me for it? Do you think he wishes he were—

“He loves you.” You tug on the cloth, let it fall and pool in endless strands around his neck. “Isn’t that reason enough?”

Satoru’s eyes are dim, bleaky sapphire and cerulean staring back at you.

Don’t look at them, look at me, look inside me, my eyes are lying, that’s not how I feel—

“He loves you too,” he says it like a confession, a secret. Love can’t be enough, can it?

Love never stopped Suguru from leaving the first two times.

Love never stopped Satoru from waking up so many nights with tears running down his neck, from where you cried for Suguru in your dreams.

Love never stopped Satoru from not being strong enough to bend the world and stretch it to fit Suguru inside.

Why should you love him whom hates the world so?

Satoru lets his head fall into the crook of your neck, body slumped over yours and breath shaky.

Loving Suguru came as easy as breathing if not easier.

He’d spend nights curled in his bed at the dorms, clicking through photos he’d taken of you three, back then, when it wasn’t anything yet but still everything to him.

“Yaga-sensei, please pair me with someone else!”

“Hah!? We not good enough for you anymore, name?”

“Satoru, name, don’t yell so early in the morning…”

And even from the first mission, when Suguru’s hair was shorter and you hadn’t quite figured out how to control your technique.

When Satoru had to save you from plummeting to your death after you sliced a curse open just for grabbing Suguru and yanking him by his hair.

Satoru thinks, maybe, he came into this world loving you two.

Because he loves me more than all the world.

“I’ll protect you,” he whispers into your neck, full of conviction.

He’s never not the strongest, except maybe when he’s here, in these moments. “I’ll protect the both of you.”

Let me do this one thing,

just this once.

Let me be the one

who holds us together.

---------------------------------------

tsr taglist :

@wishmemel @draecys @pearlvalley @cookielovesbook-akie @astral-hydromancy @celestair @/midnightbluehorizons @plaggi @blue-blossomss

[comphy-and-cozy]

oh I have a marty thot for sure! I’ve been thinking about riding his thigh while he sits back and just watches, kinda unimpressed at the show and telling you “you can do better than that, can’t you?”

Earn It

Pairing: Matt Martin x sugar baby!reader (f)

Universe: sugar daddy Marty

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Smut (18+ ONLY). Sugar daddy/baby dynamic, lap dance, semi-public/risque sex, unprotected sex, hair pulling, choking, mild degradation, creampie, a little bit of cum play (lmao jfc).

Fridays are supposed to be celebratory; the end of the week, welcoming in a few days off to relax and reset. What they’re not supposed to be are stressful, non-stop, chaotic. 

Yet here you are, already thinking about the large glass of wine you’re going to pour yourself when you get home; the only decision you’re planning to make for the rest of the night is red or white. 

Setting your keys into the bowl on the table beside the door, you eye the pristine leather sneakers next to your shoe rack, but make no move to greet the person you already know is waiting on the couch. You knew you’d regret having the extra key made for him, that he’d show up unannounced like a poorly-timed pimple, but it’s not like you really could say no—not when you consider that he all but pays your rent. 

When you round the corner, bag left on the quartz countertop (an upgrade he insisted on when you were signing your new lease), you finally offer him your attention.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he muses, glancing up from where he’s scrolling on his phone. You do your best to mask the shiver that runs down your spine when his eyes lock with yours. Based on the smirk that quirks up on his face, you’d wager a guess that you did a poor job of it.

“Hi, Matty,” you say. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You need a new dress for the charity gala,” he drawls. 

“I do, do I?”

He ignores your attitude, standing up to walk over to the island and setting the invitation in front of you. You glance it over, admiring the thick, black cardstock and gold foil detailing the casino-themed event taking place at UBS Arena next month.

“Black tie attire,” you hum. “I don’t have anything that’s black-tie appropriate.”

“That’s why you need a new dress.”

“And that’s why you’re here right now, sitting on my couch after a day from hell, full of back-to-back meetings, am I correct?”

Matt smiles again. “Already have a bubble bath going for you, my little brat. I’ll be here tomorrow at 9 to pick you up.”

You feel a little guilty for the sass, smiling bashfully at him as he plants a sweet kiss on your cheekbone on his way to the door. “Lock up behind me, darlin’.”

Goddamn him. Always knowing exactly how to charm you to get you to bend to his every will—but not without giving him the kind of attitude that makes his dick hard. A fair tradeoff, in your opinion.

That’s why you work, why your dynamic makes your relationship feel so smooth and seamless and… perfect. Except the part where he’s paying you to fuck him.

Either way, it’s how you find yourself walking along Fifth Avenue, following Matt as he leads you into stores with price tags that intimidate you so much, your cheeks get hot. He lets you browse on your own, warming you up a bit, picking out a few items for work along with a new Yves Saint Laurent purse.

Purchase after purchase. Item after item. The ease with which Matt whipped out his thick, black credit card—you know, the heavy ones that just feel luxurious—almost physically pains you as you try to do the mental math of what he’d spent today.

Finally, you follow him to the dresswear section of Bergdorf Goodman’s, admiring the ease with which he carries the multiple bags in his large hands. You feel well and truly spoiled, thinking to yourself that the dark green lace set he purchased at Fleur du Mal will come in handy later when it comes time to show your gratitude.

“This dress,” he murmurs against your temple, pressing an affectionate kiss to your skin as the fitting room attendant readies a room for you. “I want everyone there to imagine fucking you out of it.”

At this point, you’re used to his blunt and sometimes crude nature, but that doesn’t stop your skin from heating at his crass words. You can’t deny the warmth that radiates between your legs, though, at the thought of him showing you off, claiming you as his, publicly. And, well, how are you supposed to say no to him buying you a dress that’s worth more than your groceries for the month?

The selection is enormous, and you find yourself overwhelmed by the options—lace, chiffon, silk, crepe—all of it doesn’t mean much to you, so you rely on your stylist to select a few options that complement your body type. Matt sits quietly in the corner of the fitting room, watching you try on dress after dress, making barely any comment other than an occasional hum.

When the stylist leaves you to contemplate your options, you glance over your reflection, at the Alex Perry gown that stares back at you. It’s the first dress that feels right, and you can’t help the feeling of excited anticipation that fills your chest when you think about wearing it beside Matt at the gala. Maybe he’d wear that delicious gray suit that you like, the one you almost stained permanently humping his thigh like a fucking dog in heat.

“Is this the one you want?”

You do a final spin in the mirror, checking the various angles and standing on your toes to imitate your height in heels. It’ll need to be altered a bit, but you’re pleased with the way it fits your body and, more importantly, the way it makes you feel luxurious. With your nod, Matt leans forward and glances at the price tag hanging out of the back. His eyes flick to yours in the mirror, and you stew in discomfort for the few seconds before he’s sitting back, apparently approving of the price.

A wide smile forms on your face, feeling a bit like a child on Christmas morning at your excitement. You like Matt for far more than his wallet, but you can’t deny that it feels nice to be spoiled by him, to feel lavished by his gifts and special treatment. 

“Think it’s time for you to say thank you, don’t you?” 

Matt’s low purr snaps you out of your thoughts, eyes focusing back on the navy silk material that’s hugging your body. The corset bodice keeps you tucked in, accentuating the curve of your breasts, fabric draped across your middle and fastened in place with a large, glittering piece. But the real attention-grabber is the slit on the left side that goes up to your hip, revealing almost your entire leg.

You cast a glance at him in the mirror, a flutter in your chest when you see the way his eyes rake in your reflection. He hums, and though he told you it was your decision, you’re pleased that he likes what he sees.

“Thank you, Matty,” you say, batting your eyelashes at him. You lean forward and press a kiss against his lips, warm and soft—the kind you could fall into with ease. He smiles, crooked and patronizing as he tsks.

“Oh, sweetheart, you know that isn’t good enough. Look at all these bags—all for you. I think I deserve more gratitude than that, hm?”

The hidden meaning of his velvet words are enough to make you shiver, your heart chilling as you realize what he wants. His eyes glitter as he watches you, sees the recognition on your face and the hitch in your throat. 

Your voice is hoarse as you whisper, “Here?”

Matt blinks, lazily, with a raised eyebrow, like he’s challenging to you to deny him. Of course you can’t, and he knows it. He leans back on the bench, his back resting against the wall and his legs spread comfortably. It’s a silent invitation, one you can’t refuse, and you find yourself moving to sit in his lap with a shaky gulp.

His hands weave their way to your hips, warm through the material of your jeans. “Good girl.”

With just the right amount of pressure, he encourages you to move your waist, swaying your hips as your ass brushes against his groin. He’s half hard, the bulge firm against you as you set a rhythm, listening for any other customers entering the dressing rooms nearby. The classy elevator music hums softly through the speakers while the silk covering your ass glides against his slacks in a filthy narrative.

A low hum of approval sounds from Matt’s chest, eyes glued to the way you work your hips. It isn’t long before you’re glancing behind you, meeting his eyes as he regards you with his easy, lazy gaze. Beneath the firm press of your ass, you can feel him hardening as the tick of your heartbeat increases in your throat. His signature smirk slides its way onto his face, smug, soaking in the fact that he’s got you wrapped around his finger, willing to do practically anything he asks you.

It isn’t long before he’s stiff, solid beneath you, and you feel an involuntary throb at the size of him. Every moment, you remain vigilant, ears perked for voices—or worse, the sound of someone’s gasp. It reflects in your movements, not lackluster but certainly not to your usual level of enthusiasm. There’s something about him when he’s like this—cocky confidence rolling off of him in waves, his gaze heating your skin—that drives you desperately, deliciously wild, a feral urge in you snatching control of your conscience.

But not right now. And he knows it.

He hums, displeased, and you have a split moment to register his disappointment before he’s purring, “Sweetheart, I think you can do better than that, can’t you?”

The velvet of his voice strokes the flame inside you, sending a wave of warmth between your thighs. Another throb against the stiffness under your ass. His hands remain at his sides, not offering any assistance. You can practically feel his lazy gaze on your ass, waiting patiently for you to react.

He senses your hesitation, knows the reason you’re timid—waiting for the fitting room attendant to come back at any minute and discover the lewd situation unfolding. So he changes his approach, voice honeyed and silky smooth. “Look at that gorgeous dress. Y’look fucking stunning in it, baby. But you gotta earn it, darlin’.”

You meet his gaze in the reflection of the mirror, see the glitter in them that tells you he’s serious, accepting the small nod he gives you. Bracing your hands on his meaty thighs, you resume your movements, pressing yourself into his groin with more force.

Matt’s words echo in your head as you work him—and yourself—into a frenzy. Earn it. He didn’t specify what his… end goal was, but from the glint in his eye you think it’s safe to assume it’s more than just a clothed lap dance in the middle of the dressing room. 

How you ended up half-naked, thong tugged to the side, hands bracing yourself against the wall of the fitting room, you’re not sure; all you really know is the feeling of Matt’s weight behind you, so tall his face is almost out of your view in the mirror’s reflection. He’s not looking at you, instead focused on tapping the head of his erection against your ass.

You bite your lip to stifle a whine, staring at him in the hopes he’ll offer you just a glance so you can beg him silently to please, put it in. Eventually, he does, sees the desperation pooling in your eyes and chuckles smugly, pleased at the rash desire he finds in them.

“Arch it for me, sweet girl.”

Obeying, you press your ass out toward him, thinking you’d break your back right here, right now, if it meant he’d provide you with some relief. His warm palm presses against your spine, encouraging you to go further, and he hums in approval at the view you present him: expensive dress bunched over the swell of your hips, ass out, pussy dripping, eyes wanton and pleading with him in the mirror.

“You want it?” he asks, his voice so low you strain to hear it.

You’re almost embarrassed at how fast you nod, not wanting to waste any time. He smirks again, and you know he’s biting back the urge to tease you, instead just offering, in all its simplicity: “Slut.”

There’s a brief moment where he allows his words to sink in, a flood of arousal seeping out of your bare, uncovered core, threatening to drip onto the faded wood flooring of the dressing room. You’re grateful that he didn’t make you beg—he usually does—but then he’s pressing into you without warning and a loud cry leaves your lips.

Your hand slaps over your mouth to muffle the sound, but he’s already gotten what he wants out of you, a more than obvious admission of the debauchery occurring just inside the fitting room. Instead, he focuses on the warm wetness enveloping his dick, watching the way your cunt sucks him in, greedy.

Despite his reckless attitude, he’s aware of the slap of his hips against your ass, and instead of jackhammering into you the way he wants to, he’s opted for hard, deep, slow thrusts; hard enough to have a soft, involuntary sigh every time he sheaths himself to the hilt inside of you. It’s the opposite of a quickie (even though that’s exactly what this is); instead, he’s diligent, indulging himself in the feeling of your tight walls throbbing around his length. 

All things considered, you’re pleased with the minimal amount of noises sounding from your stall; though your body shivers when you hear the low groan rumble in his chest. With a glance in the mirror, you can see the way he’s watching himself pull out of your cunt, biting his lip at the sight.

Matt offers a light slap of his tip against your lips before he’s jutting his hips forward, subtly, to rub his length against your clit. The sensation makes you shiver, the slickness of his shaft sliding against the tender button, and you feel the shockwaves coursing through you at the movement. 

With his free hand, he gathers your hair in his fist and yanks backward, arching your back until your head is resting against his chest. The sharp pain melds into pleasure, loving the way he knows exactly how to take control over your body to have you dizzy with lust. Hot breath fans over your ear, soft and subtle pants puffing air down your neck. “Fuck yourself on it, baby.”

His warm fingers press into your hips, urging you to move; you do, seeking out that delicious tingle when the fat tip of his cock brushes against your clit, running between your folds. You hear the pleased hum in your ear, quiet, and then the chuckle that follows when he slips into you, a loud gasp leaving your lips.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he murmurs with a low groan. “So fucking wet for me, just the way I like it.”

Matt urges you to keep going, biting back another moan at the feeling of him being buried inside you. Your hips roll him in and out of you, and Matt’s hand trails over your ribcage, groping your breast on its way up to finally land at your throat, fingers curling around the base and squeezing. “Makin’ too much noise. Someone’s gonna hear you, and then I won’t get to flood this pretty little cunt with cum, will I?”

Swallowing the urge to whine with need, you shake your head, trying to tell him with your eyes how badly you want that. His lips press softly against the place where your shoulder meets your neck, keeping eye contact with you through the mirror while he angles his hips in search of the spot that’s going to have you dribbling down your legs. He knows he’s reached it by the way your mouth falls open, your brows scrunching in pleasure when the nudge of him against your g-spot has your eyes fluttering shut.

He hums again, and you know he’s pleased—both with himself for reading your body like his favorite book, and with you for being obediently quiet. The hand around your neck tightens while the forceful punch of Matt’s hips grows more intentional, aiming for precision rather than speed.

The smirk in the mirror, flashed in your direction is enough to make you shiver in his arms. “You think you can stay quiet while you come for me? Hmm?”

You’re trapped—can’t nod, can’t speak, barely hanging onto your last shred of control before you’re succumbing to the release that rips through you. Your legs shake, lungs scrambling for breath as the wave crashes over you, hands clutching the wall in search of purchase. Tears prick at the rims of your eyes, blurring your vision. 

Matty’s eyes glitter as he pulls out of you, grinning when he hears the slickness between your legs. 

“Love it when she purrs for me.”

It’s only when you feel hot liquid oozing out of you that you realize he met his climax, too, burying the evidence deep within your core. Your shaky legs clench together in an effort to prevent his cum from seeping down your legs and onto the floor.

Matt’s hands linger on your sides to make sure you’re steady before he’s tugging your panties back in place and swooping the dress back over your hips. He hums at the creamy drips on the inside of your thighs, swiping up to collect it on his finger. You don’t even have to be told to open your mouth, eyes fluttering shut when he presses the salty mixture onto your tongue. He hums when your lips close around the digit, sucking it clean before he releases it with a pop.

His eyes are still dark when he presses the call button on the wall with a crooked grin, and when the attendant knocks gently on the door, he says simply, “We’ll take the dress.”

[bloodycherry22]

Adoration | Ellie Williams

Genre: Sub!Ellie, smut

Summary: Ellie likes- no, adores you, she sees you easily killing enemies as if it is a usual mundane task and can’t help but feel attracted to you, little did she know, you quite like her too. She’s on a your patrol route, and finds herself needing you, you sure as hell don’t mind.

Warnings: Violence (against hunters) smut, a lot of making out, the knee thing, fingering, over-stimulation, Ellie receiving, cussing..um gayness? i dunno read at your own risk lmao.

Not proofread, 3k+ words.

Ellie couldn't take her eyes off you, travelling over your form as you skillfully swung the weapon laced tightly in your fingers. She seriously couldn't fathom how you held yourself with so much confidence, the way that you easily swung swords and launched arrows with not a shine of fear in your eyes. It motivated her, impressed her. She stood beside you, quietly sharpening her dagger, a small smile upon her face.

The rock she was sat on sure wasn't comfy but it would do, you had both only planned to take a small break to collect yourselves, having been patrolling for about an hour. The beginning of the route, she had seen countless times yet you were about to enter unknown territory for her, a route usually Joel took, or you. She had never been on patrol with you but with Jesse and Dina going together, as they were finally dating..again., you offered to take her.

She had instantly accepted, rarely getting the opportunity to have a one on one chat with you as most hangouts included mutual friends. But boy, she had always wanted too, she didn't know that you had just been waiting for the right opportunity to ask her, just as desperate to hang out with her as she was with you. She looked down at her dagger and decided that she was finished with her task, throwing the thin rock to the ground, making a quiet thud, as she stuffed the dagger into it's selected place.

Your gaze landed on her at the sudden noise, checking to see what its was before puffing a small chuckle out, she quietly laughed in response. "Sorry" She apologized and nodded at the rock.

You shook your head, lips curling into a smile "It's no worries" You nodded at the pathway ahead, beginning to carefully walk downhill, she followed, the sound of her light footsteps reassuring you of her presence. "So, how come Jesse and Dina are out together, i thought they-"

"Broke up? Yeah, happens all the time, they always end up back together" She said comically and you laughed a little, nodding "I see, didn't know they got over it so fast, they only broke up like last week"

"Yeah, romance just falls at their feet, weird huh?" She asked, before near slipping, arms spreading out in attempt to steady herself however you were quick to place your hand on her shoulder, basically catching her. Her hand was quick to land on yours as she fixed her balance, a light shade of pink dusting her cheeks. "Very" You teased, smiling, face hinting at mischief as you ushered her to stand in front of you. "It's only downhill for a little longer, then it's basically flatland, minus quite a few lakes, it's why the horses aren't really meant to come this way." You stated, placing your hand on her lower back to keep her steady as you both began to trudge through the light layer of mud decorating the hill.

She nodded "Yeah, i think shimmer wouldn't even consider this trail, if anything she'd snort and storm off" She joked, causing some light laughter. When you had finally reached the bottom of the hill, you jumped ahead of her to reach out a hand for her, there being a steep jump down, no higher than 4ft.

Her eyes widened as she watched you mindlessly jump down, an impressed laugh slipping out of her as she shook her head and took your hand, she feeling of her soft yet calloused hand gripping yours making your skin prick with invasive goosebumps that you're sure she noticed, because you sure as hell noticed the way her facial expression changed. A small smile spread across her freckled, slightly red cheeks, eyes not daring to meet yours. You helped her down and looked around, sadly dropping her hand, though she didn't complain.

The setting was different to all the other patrols, being more of a mountain side area, the view being mostly hills and mountains further away, still quite high up, but a clear bit of flat land surrounding you, both of your figures encased by the forest, a wide man-made path showing through the trees. Your eyes flickered around the trees, making sure there were no straggling runners or infected from your last patrol and to your surprise, there was none.

"Hey, Ells, be on edge, kay?" You stated, the nickname rolling off your tongue with ease, although her chest fluttered and face froze at it, heat bundling in her, she couldn't help the excitement. Yet she regained focus and held her dagger tightly, staying close behind you. "It is unusually quiet" She mumbled and you nodded, scoping out the area, when she turned to look around, she suddenly felt a grip on her arm, pulling her back, just as she was about to say something, a hand covered her mouth.

She was prepared to attack until a soft hand held the one holding her dagger, and suddenly she inhaled the scent she knew to be yours. Turning to look at you, confusion plastered all over her flustered face, you removed your hand from her mouth and held it to your own, signalling to shush.

As she caught on, she looked around, you had pulled her into the deeper side of the forest, everywhere drowned in shades of green, hard to actually see into, although you knew hiding spots. You would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy the way it felt to have her in your arms, even if it was just for a second, how close she was, how you could smell the strong woodiness and musk yet somehow feminine scent coming from her, making it hard to focus, the reason behind why it took you so long to prevent her from stabbing you.

Soon, you heard some deep gruff voices, the reason you had pulled Ellie away, she looked at you dumbfounded "You noticed them?" She whispered and with a proud smirk, you nodded, peeking around, landing on the group of three men, presumably hunters or just travelling men, either way, they were covered in blood splatters and all looked like the usual, bigot, generally disrespectful man.

They were talking about some girl, something they had done, something not worthy to have on their conscience, you and Ellie shared a look of agreement before you carefully loaded your bow as their voices grew closer. You watched, carefully aiming s they aggressively talked to one another, walking single file , bacls now facing you, so you took the chance. Firing an arrow directly at the last mans head, watching as he silently dropped to the ground, you nodded at Ellie for her to go around.

"Kyle? Shit! Kyle's dead!" One of the men yelled, however you were already heading towards them, an arrow flying straight through the yelling mans head as you mumbled a string of degrading curse words towards him before making eye contact with the now fearful man. He held up his hatchet and swung it around as if to warn you but you just raised an eyebrow, putting your bow away behind your back with care, ignoring his remarks, he seemed utterly confused. That was until Ellie grabbed him from behind and slit his throat, dodging the blood as best as she could.

You looked around before sighing in relief, looking into Ellie's deep eyes, she chuckled lightly as you did the same. "They were really dumb" You said, astonished. She laughed and nodded "I'm glad you see that too" She said, beginning to walk beside you, she noticed the way you looked around, now checking your surroundings with more depth. "It's kind of getting dark" Ellie stated, looking around at the sunset.

"Fuck, i forgot, we came out later, I didn't even consider the shorter days" You groaned and paused, looking back at the direction you came from. "I don't think climbing up that slope in the dark is a good idea" You suggested and Ellie nodded, seeming to not like the idea one bit. "So, what do we do?" Ellie asked, sincerely, making eye contact with you, it was clear that she was gaining more confidence around you and you took notice of it, shining her a smile and saying "Don't panic, I know there's a few buildings just outside of the woods." You confirmed and she nodded.

So, you both walked, with more care, towards the exit of the woods, shoulders bumping with almost every step, bodies just brushing against each other, Ellie looking around to avoid making eye contact, too flustered by the gentle touches but you weren't embarrassed, not hiding the glances you took at her, admiring the way her hair fell over her face that now seemed to permanently have a blush painting her cheeks, the way her hand rested over the dagger tucked away, tattoo just showing through her sleeve.

You brushed some leaves away and held them up for her as she stepped out of the forestry, sending you a thankful smile. She then stopped and looked around, you nodded at a small patch of forestry a few meters up and she raised a brow. Despite her clear confusion, she walked towards the trees and bushes, glancing back at you every few steps, you just laughing a little and nodding forward.

Once you reached it, you stepped in front of her and pushed some fallen branches to the side, revealing a trapdoor. "Found this a few weeks ago, and I've never had to stay in it overnight, but there's countless times I've just came here for some peace and quiet." You informed and she seemed shocked, looking around, no one would even have guessed there to be a bunker, but you did.

She watched as you opened it up and held it open for her, she smiled once again before climbing in, staying near the entrance and waiting for you. She had second guessed how close she had stood to the entrance as she suddenly felt your breath against the back of her neck, your hands clenching into tight fists a to not land on her waist, feeling a sense of tension in the air. You broke the heat of the moment by flicking the light on "Solar power" You muttered, hand gently nudging her forward. It wasn't huge, but it held a bed, a couch, a mini fridge and a table. It was ever so slightly cluttered and there was a small pile of novels and comics you had clearly left.

Ellie moved around to explore as you locked the trapdoor, not wanting any trouble. "Who do you think owned this?" She asked, hand brushing over the couch, then table before turning to you.

"Pff, god knows..not many people, couldn't have been more than one or two of them living here" You shrugged "But I assure you, they aren't here anymore" You joked, chuckling lightly and she, again, smiled in response. Her hand fumbled with some of the comics, flicking through the pile as you dropped your belongings and flopped onto the old couch.

She grabbed one of the comics and sat beside you, knees touching as the couch was only small, you tipped your head back against the soft cushion and kept your eyes on her, your arm spreading over the back of the couch, just millimeters away from being around her. She didn't seem to mind and started flicking through the pages, you watched, a small hmm leaving your mouth. "What?" she asked, not looking away from the graphic novel in her hands, you just shook your head, even though she couldn't see, pulling a leaf out of her hair with a cheeky smile. She lifted her gaze to the leaf before looking at you with a n impressed face, laughing a little. "Heavy forestry" She stated and you nodded, gaze flickering over her face, noticing a little blood.

"Blood" You commented, lifting your over hand to gently swipe your thumb over her cheek, wiping away the blood as you leaned closer to examine it. "It's not mine" She reassured and you nodded, noticing no injury, but not straying from your position, admiring the closeness between your figures.

You noticed the way her eyes moved up and down, looking at your eyes and lips frequently. You smirked at her lingering gaze on your lips, out of habit licking them, she seemed to shudder and looked back up at your eyes, it suddenly felt as if she was closer. But you weren't complaining at all. With another hum, you closed the gap, hand on the side of her face as your fingertips just gently dug into her hair, lips pressing softly against hers.

She was shocked to say the least, having completely doubted the idea you liked her back, but when she came to her senses she kissed back desperately as if the world depended on it. Your other hand pulled the comic book out of her grip and gently dropped it to the ground, smirking into the kiss as her hands snaked around your neck. You tilted your head to the side to deepen the kiss, feeling her fingers tangle into your hair.

Suddenly she pulled back, staying close, both of you breathing heavily, chuckling lightly. "I've wanted to do that for so long" You confessed and she nodded bashfully "I've wanted you to do that, for so long" She explained, in between breaths.

Both of you looked at each other in a comfortable silence, before you removed your hand from her face and let it fall to her waist, turning her body to face you. She watched as you kneel between her legs that now lay comfortably on the couch pillows, her back against the side of the couch. With a content smile, you leaned in to kiss her again, letting your lips part with hers into an open mouth kiss, tongues meeting in a desperate ecstasy, fighting for dominance.

You experimentally lifted your knee to her heat, feeling the way her body jolted at the sensation and a quiet whimper filled the kiss. You shivered at the sound, feeling your head spin at her reaction.

With a quiet sigh, you felt the way she gently began rocking against your knee, high pitched sounds being muffled by the kiss. Lips moving perfectly against your own somehow, despite her pleasure. Even though you didn't want to, you pulled away from the kiss, noticing her lips were now a darker shade of red from your affection. Her eyes were glassed over, looking at you as her mouth stayed open, she watched the way you dipped into the crook of her neck, leaving gentle kisses on the skin you could clearly see, nibbling gently in an attempt to leave light marks on her collarbone.

You began to tense your thigh, noticing the way she let out a choked moan, hands gripping the material of your shirt. You smirked, trailing kisses up to her jaw, pausing by her ear to whisper "C'mon baby, cum for me" You teased, feeling the way her thighs attempted to close around you, the noises growing louder and hips sputtering, all signalling her orgasm. Her grip on your shirt loosened as she fell back against the couch, panting.

With a proud smirk, you sat up to kiss her, only for a few seconds before looking into her eyes. "Fuck" She mumbled and you laughed lightly, her eyes stayed on you, one of her hands reaching to brush some hair out of your face. "Why haven't we done this sooner?" She asked and you shrugged comically, letting your fingers dance down to her hips, hooking under the material of her jeans, feeling the goosebumps on her skin.

Slowly, you unbuckled the buttons and gave her a look of questioning, as if asking if it was okay. "Yes- please" She nodded, responding in less than a second, voice needy and breathy. You pursed your lips in anticipation and tugged down her jeans along with her underwear, leaving them just below her knees, not wanting to deal with the effort.

She lifted her head to kiss your collarbone, as if giving you something in return, but her gentle touching faltered a the feeling of your fingertip gently circling her clit, a gasp emitting from her, breath hot against your skin. You snickered a little, letting your other hand gently rub at the skin of her thigh, her kissing resuming, one of her hands playing with your hair, careful not to mess it up. Your finger moved, teasing her for just a moment, staying still before pushing it into her, thumb landing on her clit, a surprised mewl escaping her mouth, muffling into your neck. Her kisses made your eyes flutter shut as you began to thrust your finger back and forth slowly, curling it with every movement. Her kisses grew faultier, mouth open, her whimpers ringing in your ear pleasantly, encouraging you.

You carefully began to speed up your movements, feeling the way her cunt tightened and the way she began to moan, her hand gently tugging at your hair. Your thumb began to circle her clit at a fast pace, applying pressure. Her free hand landed on your wrist as her head fell back against the couch, eyes looking into yours as she shook her head. " 's too much, y/n" She whined, breath hitching as you kept going, relishing on the way she gripped your wrist and the way her eyes closed, panting.

"You can take it, know you can" You teased, voice having a sense of fake comfort to it, loving the way her back arched and hips began to buck against your hand. A loud moan came from her, biting down on her lip to quieten herself as she came undone onto your hand, her release coating your hand.

You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to her jaw as you slowly removed your hand, taking her own into yours and interlacing your fingers with hers. She breathed heavily, eyes screwed shut as she tried to regain full consciousness. "Holy shit.." She breathed out "y-your turn" She mumbled, eyes fluttering open.

A/n: I'm so sorry if this is bad, i just wrote continuously for hours and then boom, a fic. I hope it's okay to the original requester, part two anyone?

[chiyoso]

update

hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, this is a re-write. an update. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, not clearly descriptive of my situation outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)

alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.

writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.

just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?

that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)

“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”

i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.

thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.

i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.

right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.

i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.

all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.

thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.

i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.

i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.

p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)

@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.

@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.

god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.

⸻ with all my love, chiyo.

[xfgpng]

reader description :: petite asian female, 21, 5’0, medium length straight hair + pale skin

reader :: jackie lee

commissioned :: ✔️ (as in a follower’s oc lmao, not my own)

wc :: 3k

warnings :: angst, fluff, feelings realisations, mentions of blood, guns + murder

despite the nagging feeling he had all morning, after seeing jackie in that state, he didn’t really want to think about what would happen if they decided to leave again without her.

for some reason, sebastian felt responsible for her though he didn’t know why or when it even began. ciel was upset and understandably so but they both decided it would be wise to let her join on their new mission. it was further away from the manor and it would be a few days so even if they did try to leave without her, sebastian had no doubts that she would not be too happy about it and he was starting to wonder why he even cared how she felt.

jackie had an unknown hold over everyone in the manor but no one wanted to dwell on that fact for too long. the point was that despite her insistent flirting and the short skirts she’d wear to torment sebastian every other day, she was trustworthy which was important in the phantomhive manor and most importantly, jackie was loyal to a fault.

“you need to stay by my side at all times, do you understand me?” sebastian says firmly, ignoring the warmth seeping through his uniform where she gripped onto his arm.

usually, the carriage ride was filled with a comfortable silence. they’d briefly discuss the mission and then ciel would nod off, as much as the young master denied it.

today, however, was different. the man ciel was meeting was their actual target. he had been kidnapping young women off the streets at night and leaving nothing but a shoe behind.

he was dubbed the cinderella killer and despite the police trying to find him, they’d come up short each time and finally, ciel had to step in. sebastian had found a lead just a few days ago and had secretly been tailing the man under ciel’s orders.

“cinderella killer?” jackie frowns, grip tightening around sebastian’s bicep, “how disgusting can someone be to just do such a thing?”

“it’s pretty normal around these areas” sebastian grins, “humans don’t seem to ever actually need a reason to behave so barbarically”

“not all humans are so cruel” jackie says, “I don’t think i’d have it in me to kill anyone”

“no?” ciel smirks, “not even if it was for me or sebastain?”

she doesn’t answer him. it was no use because she’d never been put in a situation where she’d have to do that and she hoped that if she ever were, sebastian would handle it.

“i see” sebastian chuckles at her lack of response, “he’s only teasing, don’t think too hard and worry that pretty little head of yours”

he was mocking her like he always did but there was no hiding the underlying truth. he was smitten by her and fond of her silly antics. anyone could see that but he was still in denial and she was just happy to be included.

“does he know that we’re onto him?” she asks after a moment, “the killer”

“i don’t think he’s stupid otherwise he would’ve been caught by now” ciel sighs, “but i made a deal with him”

“oh?”

“a fake one of course” he adds, “just to let his guard down”

“a professional serial killer who leaves no evidence behind other than a shoe” jackie says dryly, “even the police can’t seem to catch him. i don’t think his going to let his guard down at all”

“you’re too paranoid” sebastian laughs, “he seemed quite surprised to hear from us and he suggested a place to meet”

“you don’t find that weird?” she asks, raising a brow at the man. she knew they were smart but even a serial killer wouldn’t fall for their antics. people might’ve known who ciel was and most people were eager to meet him but word of his help and good deeds had gotten around pretty quickly.

there was just no way this man wasn’t suspicious of ciel.

“you can stay at the inn and wait for us if you’re so worried” ciel offers, “you could be a distraction if you’re too on edge like this”

“no” she says immediately, “i’m fine, i’m just asking questions, that’s all”

jackie had spent hours watching the show and reading the manga before she ended up here and she’d always imagine herself joining them on their missions. a silly daydream that had suddenly become her reality. she was not about to let them push her aside again.


she wanted to experience everything and prove that she was strong enough to handle these cases with them and that despite being human, strong enough to stand beside sebastian.

he had once called her a fool in love, not meant to offend her but because he truly couldn’t understand loving and trusting anyone so blindly. he was still just a demon after all and things could change over night in ciel said so but that didn’t seem to deter her one bit. it only motivated her to prove him wrong.

november evenings were chilly and wet. she was dressed warm but still insisted on keeping close to sebastian. it felt as though he was a natural furnace and she was drawn to him.

“he’s up in that building” sebastian says, glancing around before they walk across the street.

they were trying it be discreet about this meeting, choosing a time when the streets were quiet and everyone was inside their homes. the cold made sure to keep everyone inside and that worked in their favour, ciel wasn’t sure what would happen but he knew sebastian would handle it.

“young master” sebastian says as he opens the large glass doors of the hotel.

ciel enters and jackie follows, looking around in awe that the beautiful paintings and interior decorations. she wondered if sebastian would ever take her to a place like this when they had some free time.

he enjoyed sex in bizarre places but there was nothing wrong with a romantic night in with candlelit dinner. perhaps she was in over her head but she couldn’t help but imagine how romantic it could be if he just let her plan their evenings.

“this way” a man wearing a navy blue suit says, “my boss is upstairs, 3rd floor room 323”

ciel gives him a curt nod and sebastian steps in front of jackie when he notices the man staring at her.

she can’t help but preen under his attention. he was so jealous even though he denied having any sort of feelings towards her. whether it was just him being possessive or whether he truly cared, jackie couldn’t help but be happy for the attention he’d give her anyway.

these days, if he wasn’t busy in the manor or assisting ciel, he gave his attention to her. she’d heard from may-rin that before, sebastian would fool around with other women. while she wasn’t one to gossip, she knew that was true but she also wondered what else may-rin knew.

“stay close” he whispers and she nods, letting go of his arm. she knew she had to be professional and they were about to meet with a serial killer, something she didn’t think she’d ever do in her life.

“ah, please, come in” the man says. he’s a lot taller than she imagined and he’s dressed professionally, as though he is some rich businessman and upon close inspection, he seems to be someone very important.

an aristocrat of some sort which would make sense. they sometimes seemed to have weird hobbies and his seemed to be abducting and killing young women.

she recognised him from the paper. she’d read an article just a few weeks ago and he was being awarded. he was a big shot in the business world as well as the government.


it made perfect sense why no one would even suspect him, he was too much in the public eye and it was the perfect disguise if jackie could say so.

he was smart too, judging from the way he held the conversation going with ciel.

it was all too perfect really. he had no reason to be worried about the police because they all trusted him and he must’ve had connections.

she glanced around the suite. it seemed to be much larger than a regular suite would be and when she glanced back to him, he was watching her intensely.

“is this your helper?” he asks

“yes she is” ciel says, “this is jackie”

“nice to meet you” he smirks, reaching out to take her hand and out the corner of her eye, she can see sebastian twitch.

“you seem to enjoy collecting jewellery” jackie says, her smile forced as she moves towards a large glass case. it was displayed for everyone to see and from what she could tell, it was all women’s jewellery and the thought made her sick to her stomach.

these were not just any pieces, they were his souvenirs, souvenirs from his victims that he proudly displayed because he was that cocky and confident. he knew that he’d never get caught, not by the police anyway.

“i do wish you weren’t here this evening” the man sighs, “it makes it so much harder to do this”

“do what?” ciel asks

but before he can even ask anything else, a group of men step into the suite wearing black. the point their guns at the trio and the man laughs.

“i do apologise for this but you’ve brought this upon yourself” he shrugs, not looking sorry at all. “you didn’t have to meddle in my business, i wasn’t bothering you with my hobbies”

ciel doesn’t have to say anything before sebastian moves. he’s faster than jackie has ever seen him move and before she knows it, the room is eerily silent.

“what—”

“you didn’t think you’d actually get away with this” ciel scoffs, “in fact, i think you thought you’d get rid of me and continue like nothing ever happened”

the man panics as he falls to the ground but as ciel is talking to him, jackie sees one of the assassins move for his gun and pull the trigger.

she can’t even remember what happened. all she hears is a loud scream, white noise and everything goes blurry.

her left arm feels numb, right where her shoulder is. her eyes seem to droop and the next thing she knows, she’s falling.

sebastian moves quick, tossing a knife into the assassins neck before he catches her. she can hardly focus on anything other than her heavy breathing and the man begging ciel to spare him.

“why the fuck would you do that?” sebastian yells, blood boiling at the sight of her shaking slightly in his arms. there’s a lot of blood, so much so that it seeps into his pants where she’s laying.

“i.. i had to” she coughs, “he was going to shoot you”

“so!” he snaps, angrily, “you know bullets have no effect on me, what on earth were you thinking jackie!?”

“i know but i was… thinking that you look way too hot in that uniform” she says softly, reaching up with her other hand to cup his cheek, “gun shots would ruin that”

“and.. i love you” she adds

“jackie!” he says but her eyes close after that and he feels his whole body going into shock.

he’s never had to deal with this before and ciel beside him, equally as panicked doesn’t help the situation. he couldn’t care less about the man in the room and he knows they have to deal with him.

love? if love makes you do stupid things then sebastian wanted no parts in it. he was right, humans were stupid and they never thought things through.

he doesn’t understand why he’s so mad, why his whole body refuses to move despite him knowing they needed to leave and get her to a hospital or something.

“no hospitals” ciel says, “she’ll be upset when she wakes”

“young master i—”

“everything will be fine” ciel says, remaining calm despite the way his hands are obviously shaking. they needed to leave, to get back to the manor where they were home and safe. where jackie would be safe.

“come” ciel says, “carry her out and be careful not to put any pressure on her arm”

sebastian knows that. he wants to tell ciel that he’s not stupid and that he knows what he’s doing but he can’t bring himself to move or to say anything else.

ciel can feel that something is off so he grabs sebastian’s hand and squeezes. it seems to work because they’re moving out the room and down the stairs, ignoring the elevator.

“jackie you need to stay awake” sebastian says, trying not to shout too loud, “we’re in the carriage so open your eyes for me”

“i’m tired” she whispers, barely registering anything. she knows she was shot and apart of her is glad her body seems to have went into shock because she can’t feel a thing.

“you can rest when we’re home” ciel says

“home?” jackie grins, a little delirious, “i do have a home”

“yes you do” sebastian swallows, “at the manor so don’t sleep until we get there”

“okay” she agrees easily but is already slipping back into sleep, head resting against sebastian’s chest where he holds her firmly against his body.

“stupid stupid stupid” sebastian says, squeezing his eyes shut. he wants to throw her off his lap, scream at ciel and her for putting him in this situation though he knows it’s not their fault.

he wants someone to blame and he knows he should’ve made her stay. she’d be hurt but at least she wouldn’t be shot. she’d be sad but she wouldn’t have lost so much blood.

the room is dimly lit when she opens her eyes. she tries to sit up but can’t, wincing at the sharp pain she feels in her shoulder.


sebastian is immediately at her side, forcing her to lay back down. he’s no longer wearing his uniform, dressed down completely which is something she’s never seen him do.


when she looks at his face, he’s frowning, something else she’s never seen before and she can’t help but smile despite the pain because it’s so obvious that he cares for her.

he could’ve had anyone else take care of her but he stayed even when she was unconscious. he hasn’t even showered, still covered in her blood and the sight shouldn’t make her so happy but it does.

“you’re an idiot” he scoffs, trying to hide how relieved he is that she’s awake.

“yes but i’m alive” she grins, “and you still look sexy, i’d say that’s a win in my books”

“well change the books you read because it’s making you stupid” he says dryly, helping her drink some water before wiping her face off with a towel nearby.

“i’m sorry” she says, reaching to hold his hand and she’s only a little surprised that he lets her.

“you know nothing can happen to me” he says, “but you… you’re different”

“i don’t know why i panicked and moved without thinking” she sighs, “it was stupid but i wanted you to be okay”

“jackie” he glares but he doesn’t let go of her hand

“yes i know” she shakes her head, “i won’t do that again”

“you’ve upset me” he admits, “but you’re okay so i suppose that’s more important right now”


she’s never seen him this upset before. they’ve experienced a few things since her time here but an angry sebastian directed at her felt different.

“i need some time” he says after a while and she looks up at him, eyes widening when he does let go of her hand.

“seb—”

“i need to shower and then the young master needs my assistance” he sighs, running his hands through his hair, “you need to rest”

she’s seen him blow up, shout and get even kill but him being so calm while being mad at her makes her heart clench uncomfortably. she knows she messed up and it would be a while before she’d be allowed to go with them anywhere that related to cases.

“you can sleep, i won’t be coming back this evening” he tells her, but he still leans down and grabs her hand again.

he kisses her knuckles gently, avoiding eye contact because he knew now that if he looked at her, he’d give in to those pretty eyes and she still needed to rest and also think about what she did.


if he was being a little petty, it was only because he still needed to understand why he reacted the way he did. apart of him felt closer to her than ever before but he couldn’t pinpoint why.

he knew how she felt about him, had come to terms with accepting that no matter what he did or tried to do, jackie wasn’t phased.

and besides, she was far too charming to stay angry at forever.

“i really am sorry” she calls after him, making him stop just before leaving her room, “you’re right, it was stupid of me and i should’ve been thinking before acting but sometimes we do things we don’t even understand ourselves”

“even if you’re not human, that’s something you must understand right?” she asks and he sighs

“jackie, you can’t—”

“i love you” she cuts him off, “i don’t need you to tell me that you love me, it doesn’t change how i feel and you don’t get to tell me how to feel either”

“i know you do” he sighs, turning to face her and despite being upset, he could never deny how beautiful she was even laying there with an injury she should’ve not had.

“so you can stay mad as long as you need to but i’m not going anywhere” she frowns, looking away from him, “i just need you to know that”

he rolls his eyes but he can’t stop the fond smile even if he tried to.

“no sex for a while but i’ll come back once i’m done” he says and she grins because she knew he’d never stay mad too long.

[neoncat666]

extremely long shadows over welde character analysis post

by extremely long i mean its fucking 3k words cause I go too silly.

Spoilers up to ep 8 and its mostly rambles so apolocheese. I also posted this on my twitter so if u saw it there here's an actual text version LOL

Argentum:

Oh my god. You are soooo…… First of all, in the story we’ve gotten this. Argentum is a strong headed, curious person who is a bit stubborn and holds themself at a bit of a graceful appearance on the outside. They are smart, witty, but also a bit of a temper especially when it comes to frankly a little stupid ideas. They are also kind and care for others. We were shown from the beginning that they enjoy their work and meeting fans and even with people they just met are willing to help them stay safe. Also they’re a little dumb. Sometimes curiosity overrides rational thinking and that was shown when they touched the weird fucking webbing in the cave and also that ENTIRE plan when there was the confrontation between Vhaeraun and Lolth which was fucking actually crazy. This isn’t even beginning to talk about the head friend. I am constantly thinking about that voice and who that could be. Brings us speculation around them. Argentum is not human, or at least fully human. Their eyes are def not human and Hayden is a silly lil guy who would pull a trick like that. There was one speculation on them possibly being a Kalashtar and I think it could fit but honestly for now it hasn’t been on my forefront. I also bought the inscriptor class finally and was looking at how possibly they were built. What stats what subclass ect. I don’t fucking know.. Now you might be asking “Hey why don’t you just ask?” CAUSE IM SCARED. But honestly cause I wanted to see if I could figure it out myself lmao. It boiled down to either Mystery or Historian subclass is what Snail helped me narrow to. Could be wrong tho. There’s also little tidbits about Argentum that have come from outside the sessions like when I asked if they had a canonical birthday cause “celebrating fictional characters birthdays is cringe” “fuck you happy birthday argentum” is funny. Still honestly wanna know if any of the party has canon birthdays. I got hit with the “Oh they don’t know their own birthday.” and then swindled. There was also the discussion on Hayden’s pcs never really having parents or family and Argentum was included in that list which more or less got confirmed in session this episode (7). I still don’t know their motives, still don’t know their relationships with others because it seems everyone is connected to someone except Argentum, and I still don’t know who their patron is and if that is the same as the voice in their head. Love the silly though

Phoenix:

Fifi….. Not much was known about you until today and holy shit did it rock my world. Before we had known he was the apprentice to Ipswich and was sent in his place as guest of honor. We also then found out he was a spy working on tailing Lolth and that’s kinda all we knew about Phoenix for a bit, at least heavy lore wise. He’s a sarcastic, witty, bitch and I love him so much. I could never surpass Snail as Phoenix Enjoyer but it’s close. We learned a bit more during the nightmare drink sequence where he met his patron and got his powers fucking zapped. A couple things stood out to me from it. How his patron looked and specific wording from Phoenix. We know Ipswich isn’t mortal anymore but Phoe had said something along the lines of “I’d get my ass kicked and be right back here the next day.” He is surrounded by death or even just the undead. His patron deals in undead magic and I don’t think if Phoenix gets knocked down he wouldn’t be back again looking all fine the next day. We don’t know his patron’s name which like. Fuck. but lmao. Anyways Ipswich is tracking him like crazy and says he has this important quest although we don’t know a lot of Phoe’s thoughts and feelings on what he’s doing. To me it almost seems like he’s a tool or pawn for others and idk if I can fully call him a good person. Doing a bit of research into his pact and such it seems that he’s just going to possibly lose more and more humanity as he gets stronger but also i couldn’t tell you how much he has already. There’s also the whole cousins and throne thing that got dropped this episode. It seems his family is also involved with this whole scheme but Phoe is the favourite of the bunch. The idea that he could possibly be royalty was also thrown around and i think if he was like secret prince it would be from a large family all vying for a throne or he is working with Ipswich and others to usurp the current ruler and take the power for himself. Although knowing Fifi it’ll probably be like a secret third option. Not much except he’s so 90s movie older sister to me and the fact Ipswich runs a school for swindlers which is kinda funny.

Sunder:

Babygirl. Pookie. Love of my life who I want to kill me. God. This is now my love letter to you. I saw you across the bar and thought you were sooo scary and I’ve been enraptured ever since. Anyways that’s a freak. He’s not the most talkative and seems more lonely despite everything. They’re funny, loyal, kind, and ruthless. We didn’t get much for Sunder for a bit until mostly the shopping episode. We learned a bit through Kelly and the nightmare drink of what makes up Sunder but it didn’t really culminate until the head crushing I would say. Honestly I don’t even care I just fucking love the way Sunder is played. Like I’m sitting here trying to find words that aren’t just I think he’s neat cause I do think analyzing him is intriguing. They’re going to get angry and they’re going to get violent and you are not safe. It’s something that was so surprising at first because of how much Sunder kind of fell into the background. The nightmare drink gave us the first look at this, that Sunder had apparently killed someone, a kid even, but a lot of their violence was played off as a joke by the community, I know I did. Learned today that the person in that nightmare was Ilmater and it shows that she wasn’t lying when she said that visions and nightmares of this accident are a plague. I believe them when they say it was an accident and idk how young they were but to harbor that from a young age will fuck you up. Their morals are something that intrigues me i would say the most. No trouble in murder although I assume that’s more or less towards people who piss him off or are generally bad people. He’s kind hearted and that’s shown a lot especially with this last interaction I’d say. I still need to like rewatch a lot of parts of it but “we were just kids” genuinely fucking rocked me to my core and it got me i won’t lie. We’re still very early in but idk, I want to see Sunder truly happy and not haunted by the ghosts of their past. I feel this was most likely the first step but it’s hard to say as we go forward. I think violence and blood will always follow it’s just how they choose to take it.

The Wall:

I think now Wall is the character we know the least about, at least to me. We know his duty to Eilistraee and his duty to Zephrael and also his little foodie quirks (love him dearly) but outside of that I don’t think we know a lot. He’s the character I have the least notes for now but I do know this. He is loyal to a fault, a little dense, kind, and revels in battle and violence. I think about his nightmare and the fear of losing her and the sword then what happened to this episode. He’s had this since he was a child and then he had this dream, this trip to the beastland plane and looked Eilistraee in the eye and fought her. I believe he still loves her, cares for her, but I also think it has changed since that episode no doubt. Rewinding a bit, I think a bit about him being told he has to be pure of heart in order to wield the sword. What does pure of heart truly mean? Wall loves fighting and murder. He actively committed torture. Also he’s the bodyguard for an objectively bad man. There’s the argument of his intentions are pure although I doubt you can do a lot of what he did and have those intentions be fully pure. It’s just something I think about more than probably a normal person should teehee. Anyways the conversation he and Rae had at the beginning of this session should classify as psychological warfare cause I genuinely do not think I’m ever going to recover. I have been talking about it for weeks how they are the chosens, favored, by literal enemies and seem to have some sort of hit on them by a couple of deities now. I thought about how it might affect relationships and how Wall views them. We know he’s very loyal but I always wondered how far he would need to be pushed before that is broken. Seems like an extreme amount. His morals are probably what intrigue me the most tbh. I’d kill to know what his alignment is LMAO. Most of all I just really love the Wall because he is goofy and silly but he also isn’t a stupid brick wall that doesn’t know anything and I really enjoy seeing the times he gets to explain things. Fuck it we Wall.

Zephrael:

Okay so this will be the longest one cause I’m biased and yes Zephrael is my favourite. I always feel a little bad when it comes to that and showing that favouritism because I truly do love the entire party so much. This hit me the most when the show was just starting out and I did feel like I needed to show how much I loved each character and not just focus on Rae lol. I hope this thread can at least show that (if you even make it this far) Anyways Zephrael is a fucking freak and I love him so much. I’ve done multiple posts on him before and yeah Im gonna repeat some of it here i wont lie. Right out the gate we probably learn the most and yet the least about Rae’s past and present. He is an emissary for the reformed church of Lolth and an honored guest. He had known about Edo’s work before and talked about how it had helped with relations between the public and the reformed church. This means everything and nothing to us. But it does show that despite Rae’s… oddness, he is extremely well spoken when he wants to be and I think about that speech a lot. The next few episodes gave us some more information yet also a lot more questions. These weird pains that seem to predict disasters, the extreme phobia of spiders despite being a paladin of Lolth, and his both egotistical yet self deprecating attitude. It was fascinating to watch him because he clashed but never in a way that made him irredeemable and I’ll go more into that at the end section. A few early things I thought about a lot before the catalyst that was the nightmare drink were who the reformed church was, where did Zephrael come from, why was he chosen as this ambassador, and why he didn’t know undercommon but knew abyssal. These are still questions I have to this day LMAO. The nightmare drink vision I possibly overanalyze the most next to Phoenix’s. It stood out due to the fact that it wasn’t, bad. Rae could see again, he saw his father and best friends again, he got told he was going to learn the truth again. Why was this considered a bad thing? Everyone else experienced horrors and regrets yet Zephrael got sorrow. It jumpstarted the part aasimar Rae theory tho. Angel imagery Rae makes me clinically insane I won’t lie and his father having these large wings and bright white light did not help. There’s the big question of what he is and also how he joined the church. Hell, even how he feels about the church as well, truly at least. During one of the hiatuses fandom went crazy and Snail Snailmuds dropped out of nowhere that the runes on Rae’s body weren’t just random but fucking translated abyssal that said “PAIN CHAOS POWER” which first of all goes hard second of all what the fuck.

Theory crafting for Zephrael always feels like climbing uphill and also being constantly shot at cause every time something happens with that man it turns out to be a secret third thing going on oh mygod. Anyways I’ve discussed whether or not he was forced into this church, was kidnapped, born into it, ect because at the end of the day, he seems to very much be a tool or pawn for this church and/or Lolth. Also the whip being an artifact of Lolth or whatever they’re called again I forgot??? What the fuck dude. ALSO HIM SLEEPING IN BATHTUBS????? Grizzly has said this will make sense later but genuinely what the fuck there is something wrong with him. Moving on, revelation about the tattoos comes out and we get the torture episode. Well we get the holy shit they just killed those guys begining and then torture. First of all, I cheered louder than anyone else when Rae actually did fucking combat instead of running away and also the fact he can use his whip. Anyways dumb and dumber torture a guy and first of all the lay on hands to keep him alive during torture was insane and I hope to see it again in anything and it’s also where it’s learned that the tattoos on him were “forcibly engraved” which was honestly brushed off and a lot happened that I think most people forgot but I didn’t cause I’m crazy. Anyways moving on from THAT we get the typical Rae. Dodging questions when Argentum tries to interrogate him and also dunno if he’s just fuckin lying or not when he does actually answer them.

Episode 6 and 7 are where I think Rae slightly pivots. Not really noticeable but he feels a little more, close. It was also a change I noticed with the cast and I think that helped a lot of character dynamics as well. Rae’s stupid beef with Argentum was so fucking funny and I do think about him wanting to heal Sunder before himself after the Bulette because if he heals Sunder, how would that help him. Yes they’re his bodyguard but the monster is dead and it’s not like Sunder can heal him back. It was a decision that I think was the most different for Rae because he was shown to care deeply for Wall but not so much the others as much. He still doesn’t care for the others as much as he does The Wall but I do think he has grown a fondness or care for the others whether he wants to or not. And thats the thing, I could not tell you if he does actually wanna care for them or not. Yes they are allies and help but he seems to try and keep things at a transactional level or how much power it may bring him. He still does but like his dynamic with Argentum seems closer cause the antagonizing feels more like siblings getting on each other’s nerves rather than a growing distance. I think Sunder also displaying that brutality may have put him more into Rae’s good books too. Anyways he read a fucking book huge day. Now he has even worse mommy issues. Ep 7 killed me with hammers but that was spoken about. His relationship with Wall is something that fascinates me though. Rae is selfish, it’s not hidden at all, yet he does seem to care deeply for Wall and almost defends him more than he would defend himself. It’s nice to see for this bodyguard and his charge dynamic but ep 7 spread some light on it and I do think their bond will outlive the will of the Gods but what do I know, I’m not anyone at that table. Zephrael is rude, odd, egotistical but also masochistic and does care deeply when he wants to and you don’t see that kind of character as much I wanna say. He’s my favourite cause his weird gnc swag enraptured me thats all he is post over.

Not actually over cause there’s one last thing. These characters would not be these characters without the wonderful players behind them. Each episode brings out better and better performances that have me actually going crazy over them. I genuinely wouldve had nothing to write about if it weren’t for the fact everyone brings so much life into these characters and loves them so much that they feel so fucking real. They don’t feel flat or simple but very nuanced characters that I love to study and even be wrong about (i actually hate being wrong and every time im wrong i get so ashamed) but Argentum’s flourishes and talks to get out of situations, Phoenix’s wit and holy shit that dread form voice, Sunder during the market fight and then the softer scene with Varic, Wall’s humor and even talking about the more serious stuff, and Zephrael’s ability to balance harshness and endearing at the same time. That’s Hayden, Leizu, Juzo, Ben, and Grizzly and I genuinely cannot fucking talk about the performances enough. I’ve thought about making a post just about it but I fear I just wouldn’t be able to articulate what I wanna say enough. Then obviously it wouldn’t even be possible without the fucking amazing world building and npcs Jonah has provided. Everything is so immersive and I find myself caring for each and every npc we meet whether caring for their safety or caring too much cause I dislike them. Every npc sticks with me and I grow so attached so quickly because they feel so real in this world that also feels so fucking real. It feels like we are just peeking into another world and I actually can’t multitask when watching sow cause I get too sucked in. It’s really hard to do that and I talk about it a lot but never really publicly so I thought I would here.

Anyways for real this time post over, this ended up way longer than I thought it was gonna be so ur a real one if you read this all the way through lol. I’m off to go think about sow merch again as I wait for permission and stuff cause im crazy. See ya later

[haecien]

I found this cool prompt generator for ships! If ya want the link its here ;D

8/13

Angst, hurt comfort, tiniest of fluff (FUCK YOU GENERATOR.) , Non-idol AU, happy ending (i promise )

Warnings: Cursing, attempted kidnapping, mentions of hitting & blood, reader was kinda being a bitch HELP

Link to the masterlist

So maybe I DID go overboard with hao, its hao what you'd expect

Chapter playlist (to set the mood:D )

Word count- Estimated 2k-3k (read more under the cut)

Xu Minghao/Seo Myungho ; Everlasting promises

(LMAO IGNORE THAT IT SAYS "you has" I forgot to change it to y/n)

" Happy Birthday my love! " Minghao said as he gave you a cake that was beautifully decorated, " Haooo! You've really outdone yourself with this cake, It's absolutely amazing! "

He got a bit flustered from the complement " Only the best for My Love. But I did get a little bit of help from the guys... but I did majority of the work! "

You pecked his cheek " Non the less you did a perfect job, what would I do without my amazing boyfriend. " Minghao couldn't help but smile like an idiot, he loves you dearly. You both had a rough first meeting, who would have known you both would be whipped for each other?

" C'mon, go blow out your candles. And make a wish~ " He said as he placed down the cake on the table and stood behind you, you blew out the candles. " I know I'm not suppose to tell you this but, Hao can you make my wish come true? "

" How exactly? " you looked at him deeply in the eyes " Promise me you'll never forget me, and I'll never forget you. No matter where we may go I'll always be with you. " he was struck by your words, " And i'll always be with you. Promise. " he cupped your cheeks as he kissed you.

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Even after all of that, after everything he said, you still felt empty. Sure sometimes he'd say I love you but, he felt very distant after a while.

You were talking to Dino, Jun and Seungkwan. You guys were just catching up, maybe you just slipped a few things of minghao, but it really didn't escalate much. You had this weird feeling like they were uneasy with you when you mentioned him.

" Y/n, we need to tell you something. " Dino spoke up, his tone was serious and very stern. " You know, In highschool. Hao he, he just got with you to prove to us he could actually get a partner... We also betted money that it could last for a year. "

suddenly, it felt like a part of you just left. Is this why he's so distant now a days?

you excused yourself that you had to go saying shit like " Oh I left my iron on " something like that, you rushed back to your house opening the door and collapsing on your bed. You couldn't help but just cry.

It was the best relationship I've ever had. why did you leave so suddenly? It also made you fucking sick how he pretended to care, why was he doing this, this was all an attempt to make him look cool.

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" My love why so sulky? " Minghao said as he hugged you from behind, " Please cut the act Minghao. "

Minghao let go of you and backed up a bit. " What do you mean? " he said he sounded confused.

" I know about the bet you made in highschool, you know the one that happend when we started dating. " you said looking at him dead in the eyes, you were hurt just seeing him now knowing the truth

He stumbled over his words " What? Oh. Love, that was a long time ago ple- "

" I used to like you a lot back then, but now knowing what you did it seems like everything was fake. You've been distant lately, did I ask too much from you? Huh, fuck foolish of me thinking you've actually liked me. " tears started to swell your eyes, this is painful. You took your stuff and stormed out of his house

I had made so many plans for our future, what happend to all of that? That love was something I never felt something like that, I wonder if ill ever find a love like that again.

Whenever I would be down, I'd go back to him. No, don't you fucking dare. I am not okay, I thought we were suppose to be together.

....

This ringing in my head, it hurts. I feel dizzy, I want to close my eyes. But I feel like I'm in danger, who was this?

Who was this taking me away?

I'm too weak to move, everything hurts.

The person is hitting my head with something heavy, my head feels very dizzy, I could feel the blood dripping down from my head.

I'll just rest for a bit.

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Minghaos pov:

I stood there, shit I messed up big time. They felt unhappy, why didn't I listen?

Please, I did love you a lot. I promise, I tried to let go of what I did in the past.

I've changed I swear. I love you too much that my heart aches for you, this "bet" wasn't ment to last long, but you've taken my heart. And now I can't let you go.

My heart aches for you, please come back.

I walked out trying to find you. Shit, why is it raining? Why is it only my face that is getting hit, I can't stop it.

I'm I crying?

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I searched for you, hours had passed by. Where was my love?

" Shit. " I whispered under my breath as I ran towards your body.

" Fuck, no. No, I can not loose you. " I placed your head into my arms, no. Please I can live with you being separated from me but, I can not handle being separated from you for more than an eternity.

I rushed you to the nearest hospital, luckly it was not that far away from us. Please stay with me my love.

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Minghao waited paitently by your side, " please I'm so sorry. I don't care if you decide not to forgive me, ill still love you endlessly. " He repeated these words in his head, he fucked up big time.

" Oh y/n, please be okay, please. " he grabbed your hand and squeezed it, you lost a lot of blood. You hated him but he still loved you.

The doctor entered your room, " Hello, I'm here to tell you Y/n L/n's results. Are you... Xu Minghao? I need to know your relationship with the patient. "

" I'm... - " he hesitated for a bit " I'm there boyfriend. " the doctor nodded and got closer to your bed.

" So, the paitent did loose a lot of blood. But luckly they'll still be fine, but I think you'll be needing to stay here for, around a week. "

" A week? Oh. I should go and get my things prepared... " Minghao stood up " Very well, ill take my leave. " the doctor exited the room.

" Oh what I'm I going to do with you my love. " he pecked your cheek. " I'll be back. "

Minghao was willing to wait for you until you woke up, but. He still didn't know how to properly apologize to you, he knew that he loved you. He knew that

He just didn't know how to express that into words.

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Minghao stayed by your side, just as he promised on your birthday.

Endless hours have turned into days, and those days turned into weeks. Minghao was getting worried, whenever you would ever so slightly twitch your fingers, or moved the slightest bit he'd get excited thinking you were awake.

But, you never did. Minghao would write little journal entries in a small notebook he recently bought, you know just to keep track.

Slowly but surely, minghao was starting to doubt if you'd even wake up. He took out his phone and started to look at his gallery.

All his photos of you and him, those random pictures of you doing the most stupid shit. Fuck, he missed you a lot. Looking back on these memories made him teary eyed.

Suddenly minghao heart a sound from you, a slight grunt. Oh shit, were you waking up?

Its been approximately 3 months since the accident. Minghao couldn't help but run over to you as fast as he can, " Love? Are you there. I know you're upset, but please just let me ex- "

" Who, are you? " you said looking confused. Shit, who was this man? Why was he here.

" ... What? " Minghao's heart sank. So deep, this was just painful, but. Atleast you don't remember how much you hurted because of him, but all your memories together. They were all gone?

" Y/n it's me, come on. Stop playing with me, its me. Minghao! " he stood there for a bit, trying his best to hold back his tears. " I'm, I'm terribly sorry. Doesn't ring a bell. "

Minghao sighed in defeat, how was he going to make you fall in love with him again? He didn't want to loose you again, Minghao called in the doctor in for help

Unfortunately they couldn't do much, the damage that happend to the brain couldn't be fix. But the plus side was you could be discharged in a few days... yay?

" So.. " you looked at minghao " What, were you to me? " Minghao looked at the ground and took a deep sigh, " Well. You were my partner and I was your lovely boyfriend " he said laughing a bit.

" Wow, well aren't you so lovely? " Hearing that again for the first time in awhile made his heart flutter, " Pft, ofcourse I am. You chose me to be your boyfriend anyways... " Minghaos tone was, sad. Who wouldn't be in a situation like this?

" .... How was our relationship? How long were we a thing? " you asked curiously.

" It was the most amazing relationship I've ever had, Haha. You fell for my charm and I fell for your beautiful personality, I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you. " you reassured him that it was okay, " Please, I'm sure it wasn't your fault anyways! "

You said as you gave a bright smile to him, you'd always smile for him whenever he was upset. Made him even more happier.

He couldn't help but smile at you.

" Here, you can't remember all of this happening but. We took these on the day of your birthday. "

Minghao took out a picture of you too both eating cake, minghao had placed frosting on your face as a joke but you ofcourse had to hit him back.

At the end both of your faces were covered in frosting. Those were good times, " We look funny here. " you said giggling a bit at yourself.

" We do, hehe. Look at you, you're face is covered entirely with frosting. "

" Yours too! " you lightly hitted him while laughing. " Can you show me more pictures? We look like we're having so much fun hehe. "

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Minghao was trying his best to help you remember him, he was hesitant with you a bit. Usually he'd call you pet names but he wasn't so sure if you were okay with it.

You'd look at old pictures on your phone, trying your very best to remember everything. You don't even remember how much he hurted you,

You forgotten what type of person minghao was, sure he was attractive but. Was he worth just getting back into a relationship with?

You knew deep down he was still hurting that his love had forgotten everything about him.

You tried your best to be attentive to whenever he'd randomly go on and ramble about how your relationship was.

He looked so excited whenever you asked questions, his eyes practically lit up due to his excitement.

Surprisingly, you remember majority of your childhood but your highschool days were blurry. Sure you remembered your friends, and some of the guys too but. Suprisngly minghao never appeared in your memories.

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You were chilling in your room, minghao wasn't around since he was out with his friends for a little get together. So you were left alone in your house

You felt as if, there was something in your room that was important. But, what was it? You got up and fucking destroyed your room, items were everywhere.

You had to find this "thing" , maybe it could help you with your memory who knows.

After minutes and minutes of searching, you found a box that was hidden at a secret compartment under your bed. It felt heavy, you slightly shook the box, jeez. There was a lot of stuff in the box.

You sat down on your bed with the box on your lap, on the lid it said " Everlasting promises. " , weird name.

You opened the box.

(This video contains glitches)

I was filled with both rage and sorrow. Where was minghao? You wanted to beat him up and apologize for everything.

Hes been so sweet to you for the past few weeks. Was his feelings actually real?.. was I in the wrong.. ?

You began to cry, looking at the pictures that were already wet due to your tears. God, you were such a bitch to him. You didn't even let him explain, yet he still blamed himself after all of this.

Minghao knocked on your door indicating he was there as he opened your door. You quickly tried to whipe your tears away, not wanting him to see you.

" Y/n? - " he looked around to see the box still on your lap with all the items outside spread out. He realized that you've been crying and he quickly went close to you.

He got down on one knee infront of you looking at you, " Y/n, are you alright?.. Oh y/n, you're beautiful face is all puffy. Why are you so upset? Can you tell me. "

Hearing his words made you cry even more, you struggled to form a sentence. " I'm sorry. " you mumbled out " Everything was my fault " you blurted out.

" Wait, you remember?.. "

" Yes! " you said, tears started to form again. Minghao went close to you and took you in his arms for a hug.

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You and minghao started to explain both sides and you both went in a mutual agreement.

It actually took you awhile to start dating again, but eventually. You both started dating again

Happier than ever.

" Hao! Oh my god its our anniversary... where are we going? "

" Secret love, but you'll love it. "

(May or may not have connected it to this post, look i fucking love it HAHA )

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General tag list: @woozvc

Cien rambles

AAAAA THIS TOOK ME 3 DAYS TO WRITE.

[ghastlybin]

Vampire! SuA 02

Pairing: Vampire! SuA X (GN) Reader

Feat: Handong, Siyeon, Rest of Dreamcatcher mentioned, & Co-worker! Yunho (Ateez)

Word count: 3k

Genre/contents: Vampire! AU, Angst, fluff(?? I really tried), A little bittersweet?

TW: Blood, Starvation, m u r d e r, kidnapping, all I can think of rn :((((

Note: May or may not have rewritten this multiple times. Also been feeling kinda meh this week so apologies for dragging my feet (hands*) ily, hope this doesn’t flop or s u c k and so sorry if it’s a bit dialogue heavy. I fcking love dialogue though. I really do piss myself off sometimes though lmao goodnight y’all

Part 01

THE GIF I HAD TO USE IT HHHHHHHHHH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- sorry.

It was a secret, your regular visits to Castle Bora.

Not that anyone ever asked.

Not that you would ever tell anyone anyway.

Every day, like clockwork, Bora would be waiting by the front door, for you. The excitement of seeing you again boiled over her.

Bora hasn’t felt this alive since, ever.

“I renovated the dining hall!”

“I added new furniture in the study!”

She loved how intrigued you were when she’d add to her already beautiful castle.

The truth was, you loved her style.

The gothic feel, how you knew most people would see it and find it questionable.

It was a unique type of beauty.

Bora learned more recipes meant for humans. She kept the blood out of your sight and created entirely different dishes just for you and you alone.

“I don’t mind trying blood at least once.”

Of course, you were joking, only trying to get a laugh out of her.

Bora did not. She stared at you, a little shocked despite her needing blood to live.

She could eat all the food in the world, but if there wasn’t a decent amount of blood, she would starve the same way humans could without food for a long period of time.

She never told you, but she had blood stockpiled.

And it was slowly beginning to dwindle.

Seeing you, your bare neck at times, your arms, even your legs, she would feel an insatiable amount of hunger.

And she fought it. She needed blood, but she could always find blood from an unsuspecting victim- a curious tourist, like you, who wanted to sneak into her castle.

She could find, restock, and drink new blood.

But she couldn’t replace you.

If she was lucky, you’d only turn into a vampire like her.

Bora knew that wouldn’t be the case. With the hunger she felt, she wouldn’t hold back long enough to leave you alive.

It was a flaw she wished she could correct. She wished she had the self-control Handong had.

Every day, you were as happy to see her as she was with you, even bringing her gifts- trinkets from the ‘new world’.

She displayed them proudly, genuinely fascinated by them, even if she never cared for them before you had arrived into her eternally long life.

Bora let you decorate her castle with hints of you, no matter how small or big.

“What is this supposed to be?”

“That is a candle.”

“Why is it in the shape of a… Um…”

“A demon?”

“That’s a demon? I remember them to be a lot different back then.”

Soon, everywhere in her home had a reminder of you until you visited the next day.

“I will see you tomorrow, Bora!”

And when tomorrow came, you never showed.

Then tomorrow had turned into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months.

Still, Bora waited.

And waited.

And waited, the ghost of you lingering behind throughout her castle.

Bora held the last bottle of blood, half full. The hunger ate away at her, though she was strong enough to smartly ration it out.

She had the opportunity to ‘restock’, seeing, hearing, and smelling explorers and tourists. None of them were you.

Besides, she somehow felt wrong to just take from them.

Their blood or their lives, it felt wrong to her, strangely enough.

“Bora.” Handong snapped her fingers, bringing Bora out of her mind. “Yoobin’s castle is getting demolished.”

“Really? Why?” Bora straightened her posture, the news shocking her.

“It’s being linked with missing person reports. And the worst part, authorities have hired hunters.”

“Hunters?” Bora stood up from her spot at the dining table and walked over to the window, peeking out into the night. “Wait, Yoobin? She’s against harming humans? That can’t be right!”

Handong joined her, as Bora peeled back the rest of the velvet curtains to let the moonlight in. “That’s what we are concerned about.”

“You didn’t clarify what you meant by hunters.”

Handong put her hand on Bora’s shoulder, pushing her slightly to face her with a serious look.

“Vampire hunters. They are called something else, but the humans in town are paranoid. They’ve come up with harmful legends about us, some are true but no one has actually known of our existence!” Handong closed the curtains over the window.

Bora remembered what you had told her, the stories about when you were a kid, the speculations they had.

“They thought I was a cannibal?! Ew!”

“I know! The morons didn’t know the difference between that and a witch!” You laughed.

“What is a witch?”

“You’ve never met a witch?”

“When would I?”

She missed the sound of your voice.

She missed you, and the worst part was she didn’t know if you were still alive or what happened to you.

Bora felt an aching in her chest that made her body run colder than it already was.

Handong let out a small gasp before she collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Bora was slow to react, wide-eyed as she felt a sting in her neck before she too had fallen unconscious.

The vampire hunters arrived, unbeknownst to Handong or Bora.

“Search the castle. Leave no stone unturned.”

“On it.”

The trinkets you had brought Bora before your mysterious disappearance had adorned the castle, blending in as they would match the style of Castle Bora.

The vampire hunter’s search had turned futile, almost.

In Bora’s bedroom had been a letter she had meant to send to you, had she known your address.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N, you’re late.” Your co-worker, Yunho, checked his watch. “Again.”

You frowned, “you’re very observant of me lately.”

Yunho beamed with a shrug, “hey! I’m only looking out for you. But the boss won’t like it.”

You had just clocked in for the day, having barely slept. “Boss can-“

Yunho covered your mouth, wide-eyed as your boss entered the room. You slowly lowered his hand off of your mouth, grinning at your boss.

“Good morning!”

“If it were a good morning, I’d be rich.”

“If it were a bad morning, Y/N would be late.” Yunho crossed his arms over his chest, a wide grin on his face. You awkwardly laughed, discreetly nudging Yunho.

“I have a meeting in an hour. Think you two can open the store normally for once?”

“Yes sir!” You and Yunho simultaneously replied enthusiastically. Your boss sighed heavily, mumbling under his breath as he walked away.

As soon as he left, you turned towards Yunho.

“I have a favor.”

“Again?” Yunho chuckled.

“During his meeting, please keep heavy tabs on him. I need to do something.” You kept your voice in a hushed tone. Yunho nodded, albeit unpleased.

“Again.”

You reached into your pocket to show him a picture of you and Bora, “she’s worth it.”

“Sure. I will cover for you so you can surprise your girlfriend.” Yunho smiled. You frowned again, lowering your phone.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yet.”

“Yet… I also haven’t seen her in months-“

“Months?!” Yunho blurted, louder than both of you were comfortable with. You glanced at your boss’ office, hoping he wouldn’t come out again.

“Y/N, please, explain. Months? You basically broke up with her before you even dated!”

“Yunho!” You whined, clutching the locket Bora had given to you as a token of your friendship. “She might forgive me! You never know!”

“Months, Y/N.”

“It’s because-“

“Good morning, is Y/N here?” The monotonous voice of a man interrupted their conversation. You and Yunho turned to face the man- men, seeing as there were two of them, confused by their sudden appearance.

“Nope. And we’re closed.” Yunho pointed at the ‘closed’ sign on the door. The men looked at you, seeing your nametag.

You mentally cursed yourself, remembering how you always put your nametag on before arriving at work.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah. Caught me. Who are you?” You asked.

You saw one of them bring out an envelope with your name on it and you recognized the handwriting.

Bora.

“Do you know Bora?”

“She’s my girlfriend. Why?” You confidently spoke, knowing you told a small lie.

Yunho snapped his head towards you, his eyebrows furrowed intensely. “You said-“

“Shut up.” You cleared your throat, “why are you asking about her?“

“We need to speak to you outside.” One of the men continued. He looked at Yunho, then back at you. “Alone.”

That’s how they got you.

Something was wrong, you were correct about that.

They knew you’d be reeled in by the mention of Bora, they were correct about that.

Somewhere in an unknown underground facility, were Bora and Handong along with Minji, Siyeon, Yoohyeon, Yoobin, and Gahyeon.

And Bora didn’t think she was ever going to see you again.

She was wrong.

Your head throbbed as the dim lights hummed in the empty room you had been dumped in.

You took a moment to let the panic set in.

You had just been kidnapped.

You wondered if anyone had witnessed you getting kidnapped, the memory itself was fuzzy from whatever you had been injected with that made you fall unconscious.

There was only one door in the room and the lock seemed to have a simple padlock on the other side of the bars.

You felt calmer, reaching for the locket around your neck. Everything had been taken from you, all except the locket.

With a slight smirk, you took the locket off and opened it, then twisted it, remembering how Bora had taught you exactly how to use it in case of an emergency.

Sliding your arms through the bars with the locket-turned lock-pick, you successfully opened the cell door, catching the padlock before it could fall to the floor and cause unwanted noise.

The long concrete corridor contained more cells. You walked by a few, some empty and some with sleeping women.

“Y/N?”

Your heart dropped into your stomach, turning towards the familiar voice.

Bora.

She was gripping the bars, fearful and seemingly weakened. “Please let me out.”

You were quick too. The lock-pick in your hand as you were able to successfully pick the lock.

Now face to face, she roughly pulled you into the tightest hug you’ve ever experienced.

Her cold, bloodless arms around you felt the warmest it has ever been.

You had never experienced a hug from her either.

She ignored that her face- Her mouth, was in the crook of your neck. The smell of your blood was more enticing now than ever before.

She was starving.

Bora’s mouth watered but her eyes watered more, shoving you away as you lost your balance.

“Where have you been?! I waited for you for months!”

You sat where you had fallen, staring up at her in shock. “I didn’t have enough money- Or time to make the trips anymore! I promise you I was going to visit later today! Or…“

You stopped talking, having lost all sense of time. Whether the sun was out or not, if someone was looking for you, or if you still had a job, any information about it had all escaped you.

“I thought you were dead!” Bora yelled, her voice echoing through the corridor as she pulled you to your feet.

“I know that’s dramatic and an awful first thought, but everyone who has disappeared from me suddenly had turned up dead!” Bora cried hot tears of anger.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would be such a long-“

“You could’ve written me! You know where I live! I don’t know where you live!” Bora wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt. You hugged her again, cautiously this time, wondering if she was capable of being violent.

If only you knew what she needed to survive.

“No, don’t.” Bora pushed you away again, only less harshly.

She was angry, upset, and felt abandoned- And still, she forgave you deep down. The locket- Lock-pick in your hand offered her reassurance that you hadn’t forgotten her either.

“Help me get my friends out and then we can talk.” Bora adverted her eyes from your neck, feeling drawn to the red dot on your neck from the injection of the needle used to knock you out.

She was upset, but she fought the urge of risking your life for the sake of saving hers.

Bora guarded you as you picked padlock after padlock, releasing each vampiric woman contained behind bars.

Bora stood between you and the hungry girls, “don’t. They are not our enemy.”

Somehow, that was enough to convince them not to lay their fangs on you.

She protected you throughout the maze-like facility, the other girls fed on the hunters that kept the captive, but Bora?

She still felt something wrong with it.

Not in front of you.

You had barely found your way back to her.

She didn’t want to ruin it by scaring you off.

And all this time knowing you, you’d think she would remember who you were.

The fanatic of all things creepy, occult, and gothic styles.

You noticed Bora weakening, stumbling into the walls, her hands gripping the walls that helped her steady herself.

“Bora, are you okay?” You asked, trying to help her walk. She pushed you away in response, gritting her teeth from the pain.

“Stay away…”

“Bora.”

“I’m hungry!” She shouted, sliding down the wall and onto the concrete below her.

“What do you need? I can try to find some for you!” You offered, worried about her.

“Blood! I need blood, but it feels wrong-“

“Bite me.” You cut her off, holding out your arm. She shook her head.

“No. I can’t do that to you.” She groaned, holding her stomach.

“Bora,” you stepped closer, your arm extended. “Bite me.”

“What’s going on? We have to go!” Siyeon wiped the blood from her mouth, seeing her weak friend. You stared at Bora, waiting for her to give in.

“She’s starving.”

Siyeon stared at your arm, her hunger satisfied, yet her vampiric instincts urged her to take your blood for herself.

She respected Bora’s wishes and decided against it.

“I’m not… Biting you.” Bora weakly pushed your arm away. You sat against the wall beside her, a small smile on your face.

“If you’re worried I will spend eternity alone, watching my loved ones die before me, you shouldn’t.” Your smile faded as you said that. You took Bora’s cold hand into yours.

Bora looked at you through her blurry vision.

“I am fine with spending an eternity of pain as long as it’s with you.”

You meant it.

Whether you died or had to suffer the same fate as Bora- And the other girls, you were okay with it.

Death never scared you.

But the possibility of becoming a vampire?

Being with the woman you had feelings for, someone who listened to you, let you indulge in your interests freely and without judgment.

That for sure didn’t scare you.

“You don’t mean that,” Bora muttered. You Reverted the lock-pick into a locket and opened it like normal.

The picture inside had unfolded and looked as good as new. It was the first picture you two ever took together.

Bora had somehow inserted it into the locket and you had wondered how she managed to make the picture small enough, yet still maintained most of the main details of the original.

“Bite me. Please, I don’t want to live the rest of my life without you.”

“Months…” She looked at your arm, fighting a battle against the urge of giving in.

“Yes, but I want to make it up to you.” You frowned, your arm getting tired, and yet you kept your arm up.

Bora thought about it.

She still thought it was cruel to you.

Cruel to turn you, cruel to kill you, cruel that she was worried about you finding someone new.

It was cruel.

And eventually, she gave in.

You were consumed by the dark.

The style, the literal darkness, everything you’ve loved or known.

It consumed you and you weren’t afraid of it.

The dark never scared you.

Every morning, you were shut out from the world. You had to.

The sun would obliterate you within a second without the right amount of shade and coverage.

Every night, you came out. The moonlight shone down on you as you’d make the trip into town.

Following the scent of blood to the blood bank.

Stealing was wrong, you acknowledged that.

But you had a new way of living now. You and Bora, finally together.

The kisses you both once fought the urge against, the late-night talks you’d have to make up for lost time, the dancing together in the ballroom now and then, and the late-night walks around the outside of the castle.

The feasts with Bora and the other vampires.

The initial pain from being turned into a vampire was worth it, in the end. You were no longer a member of society, but that didn’t bother you much.

They never accepted you as you were.

Bora and her friends?

They accepted you, respected you, and treated you as their own.

“My verdict on the taste of blood is,” You squinted, a small smile on your lips as you looked at Bora to make sure she was listening. When Bora looked up from the letter she was writing, you continued.

“It’s kind of gross.”

“That isn’t very vampiric of you.”

“Hey, I have been a human most of my life. What did you expect?”

“I love you, dork.”

Castle Bora, your new home, was a secret that you would never tell.

Everyone knew about it, but only as a myth or a legend.

They knew about Kim Bora, but only from the past. They suspected she was a vampire, a cannibal, or a witch.

They didn’t know the full story or about the eternally youthful couple that resided within the grand walls of the castle.

You would never speak of the castle to anyone inside the city. Doing so might endanger Bora.

You as well, now that you joined her in her vampiric lifestyle.

She was your home, and you, hers.

You knew you would never leave again but you were okay with that because the dark never scared you.

[mhaynoot]

1-5, 9 and 10 ^^

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

*squints at my archive* short stories with little plot and more character and emotionally driven narratives, and insane deep dives into relationship explorations

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

a charted and completed plot :)

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

hmmmm had to think about this but yeah tragic endings or unhappy endings? I don't mind writing open-ended stuff but definitely no tragedy bones in these hands although, like, maybe for the side characters but definitely not for the main characters, I'm too weak for that HAHA

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

HM- lmao i just got distracted by writing for like 2 separate wips because I was counting them HAHAHAH

this is just my orv wips i found so far and i have like a few here and there abandoned from old fandoms that i still keep around just in case the spark comes back. I also have a bunch of thoughts right now about tgcf and beefleaf but hmmm maybe when I'm not so busy HAHAH also mdzs but I'm waiting to finish all the novel first before actually writing anything for now

5. Share one of your strengths.

metaphors and similes! and making people cry from my special so sweet it turns bittersweet writing style LMAO

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

hmm the world in my arms, ever so fragile and loved was definitely a doozy to write and i was squeezing my brain with each line LMAO i kept having to rethink my understanding of jung heewon and kim dokja's relo over and over again and reaffirming myself that what I'm writing is a portrayal of what I think their relationship was like. I was really concerned about being too one-dimensional and trying to capture the points of their devotion-love, devotion-pain relation in a way i liked.

I was also really concerned about hitting the important relationship points and themes I wanted to write about their relationship, especially since i wrote the hospital conversation first and it was perfect but then decided i had to fit in a whole post-canon story sequence around it AND YOU ALREADY KNOW I'M NOT GOOD A PLOT! WHY DID I DO THAT TO MYSELF! aaaAAA! It's why it went a little crazy with 3k words compared to fly off the light between leaves and our shadows are cast together which was a beautiful snapshot I was able to pump out in like one or two sittings (and ten thousand small future edits) because that's what i'm good at!! *sigh*

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

to make lunch for you was so easy to write, i was struck by lighting or something i swear to god or like how much i crave the thought of kdj being allowed the grace of being sad and then loved and comforted by his just favourite being in the whole worlds and worlds out there

[mithrilhearts]

For the writer asks, all questions with a 2 in them, please. :-)

Alright, okay, holy shit lmao this is gonna be a big one. AND I AM UP FOR THE CHALLENGE!! Thank you Fizzy!!

Throwing this under the cut as there are a LOT of questions.

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I already answered this one here!

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

I think every writer loves feedback. All we want to do is yell about our stories with people - that being said, not everyone has the time to leave a comment and I understand that. However, I feel engagement is super important to keep a fandom alive. I try not to get stuck on that though - I feel like I get a decent amount of feedback, and then there's some fics that receive little to none. It's just how things are. Feedback encourages me to work faster on certain pieces, and a lack of engagement makes me feel like I can be slower on others.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Yes. I use various headcanons, phrases and themes throughout my stories. It's how you know they're mine I guess lol - I always include blueberries in some fashion, I always describe Bilbo's hazel eyes meeting Thorin's blues, fireflies and freedom, etc. I love fluff, hurt/comfort, etc. So I like to stick to my wheelhouse and use styles/phrases I know that work.

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

idk @sunnyrosewritesstuff, would I?

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I won't do reader inserts, or change from 3rd person pov. Those aren't my wheelhouse and I feel uncomfortable trying to do those. As for tropes, pregnancy fics, love triangles, a/b/o, and I'm sure some others, they just aren't really what I'm looking for as a writer.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

Don't compare yourself to other writers - no one does a fic just like you. You may have a similar concept, but no fic is exactly the same because no author is exactly the same. Also, stats do not determine what is a good or a bad fic. Do not obsess over them, they mean NOTHING.

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

See above and reverse it.

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

Probably my TRSB fic from 2022, Between Vices & Virtues. It's a 40k multichapter I worked very hard on over the course of 2-3 months and it just feels like it didn't do as well as I'd hoped. I love it anyway :) which is what matters.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Where The Shadows Lie, definitely. It's a crackshit fic, as I call it. But Fuck Thy Neighbor is creeping up on that list as my very fun rom-com fic lol

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

The planning and actual writing is my favorite part. My least favorite part is the summary/tags/title lol honestly, my bane!

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Some days are better than others. Some days I write 0 words, others I can pump out nearing 3k. It depends on my mood.

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

I go through my chapter/fic with spelling/grammar in mind. Then once all that is done, I read it aloud (most of the time) to check for flow and what not to make sure it sounds right to my own ears. It's pretty simple, but time-consuming.

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

I love so many writers???? But the first three that came to mind were @i-did-not-mean-to @sunnyrosewritesstuff and @ahufflepuffhobbit

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

So, I am a very slow reader. But the last thing I was working on reading was a WIP by @theladygreiwolf, already, I definitely recommend it, but it's not ready yet 👀

52. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes. I try to respond to as many comments as possible - I do this because I like to engage with other people about xyz story. I also want people to know how much I appreciate that they took the time to leave a comment, it's the least I can do in return!

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers?

I love cliffhangers. I use them now and again in my own works!

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Chronological 99% of the time. I think there was (1) whole case where I wrote the end of a chapter and then went back to do the beginning. I was in the mood to write that content, and it had to come out or I'd explode.

[metalbvcky]

Hi Mandy!!! 💖 I hope your weekend is going well so far.

Can I ask 26, 33 and 47 please? 💫

Heya Tej!! :D It's been pretty good so far. Visited some fam, ate some cake, and now having a quiet evening/night with my cats lol.

26: What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Usually the beginning, but my most hated part is having to re-write a scene. Especially when it's over 1,000 words and I realize after the fact that it won't work the way I originally planned 😭 It's kinda why I take my time and let my natural writing speed flow instead of word vomiting, like I used to do in 2020/early 2021. Brainstorming over a stubborn scene works a lot better for me than throwing whatever words onto a blank doc lolol

33: Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

3k! LMAO no, those are my final last words because I've cursed myself with saying that a fic will be short, when it will, in fact, blow up in my face. But actually, I find longer fics to be more satisfying than a quick oneshot. I get lost in the world building and all the little details, though oneshots are still great for certain things.

47: Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Crack. Ugh lol. It's what I mostly wrote in 2020, even wrote another in 2021 that I really liked, but I am done™ with that trope for now. Honestly, I think the whole reason why I'm tired of it is because of that series I did in 2020 😂 It was wild, and you could kinda tell I hadn't been out much because of the state of the world then xD

[jaeyooniverse]

the FIRST COLLECTION commentary no one asked for, by yours truly

1. Good Guy

00:00 - I love that the recent comebacks have had That Sound at the beginning. Not the same sound but a distinct sound that the moment the song starts you just KNOW. They are sounds i love to imitate tbh

00:08 - okay idk why but the crescendo of the synth/strings (i dont know music words, bare with me for this) it’s so pretty and very well represents how i gradually get more excited as the song starts ( ilove this song). also i’ve watched so may stages that now my mind just immediately starts the fanchant

00:16/00:21/00:23/other times but i wont list them all - the echos!! ugh i love it *chefs kiss*

00:21 - okay i love all of taeyangs opening line but esp the “oh noo”

00:29 - the Slight autotune to dawon’s voice as he says “baby” is my aesthetic

00:38 -  jaeyoon does this part so well like it’s just so PERFECT for him; i love how he says “yeah” sdfhdjkd

00:47 - THE BASS DURING THE CHORUS. this alone gets me so excited it’s so GOOD ; this chorus is the perfect type of addictive like it’s catchy but you wont get annoyed when it’s stuck in your head oof

01:01 - what do i even say,, inseong,,,,

01:14 - i’m probably gonna say this a million times but jaeyoons vocals are so perfect for his parts, props to whoever decides the line distribution, truly, and props to my man’s execution ♡_♡

01:17 - i’m upset youngbin’s part is so short bc it’s so GOOD esp the “feel it” and the “that’s what i like neoui jeonbureul YEH” and omg now whenever his part comes on i think about that penguin video and him reenacting it 🥺🥺 

01:26 - zuhos part is also gold and i love the dance during his & bin’s parts !

01:36 - am i the only one(haha) who gets butterflies in my stomach when dawon sings?? something about the slight run when he sings “molla~ yeah”... oof

01:41 - ROWOON. Yes. i love how soft his voice is compared to when jaeyoon sings this shdfkjh

01:51 - i already mentioned the bass during the chorus but i MUST point it out again. i love the triple beat or WHATEVER you wanna call it ugh it’s my favorite part

02:02 - who can “oh yeah” like rowoon? no one can, no one’s doing it like him

02:19 - i can’t believe i had to wait more than 2 minutes to hear hwiyoung rap for like 2 seconds but ANWAY i love his part i love his rapping voice also the little guitar part in the bg!! good stuff!!! 

02:33 - okay inseong i get it, you have vocals. also i was lowkey disappointed that note didn’t last longer?? also also the first time i heard this i got flashbacks to Be A Man by MBLAQ when G.O’s sings his “never” (that’s how long i wanted inseong’s note to be) and funnily so, it’s around the same time mark as this one lmaoo

02:36 - how the muic goes quiet afterwards,, inseong’s voice echoing and fading away,, poetic cinema

02:37 - THE BASS ,, it hits differently when it’s that end-of-the-song hype 😩

02:39 - THE “OH!” 

02:46 - this part also hits different,, when you watch the stage and zuho is in center looking like THAT....it hits, it truly hits...

02:50 - okay waait i literally just noticed this but is that jaeyoon saying “you so bad” in the bg??

02:53 - not to be dramatic but the first time i heard this song i literally teared up (i still do, if i’m sensitive enough) when it got to this part like dawon’s voice is just something else !! when he sings “naya”,,, ugh the color, the emotion, the man,,,, also cant listen to this part and NOT think about (or do) his little dab move thing sdhfkjh

02:57 - the “chajabwa!” oh vocal king 😩

2. Am I the Only One

00:06 - 😳

00:11 - jaeYOON! I love how airy ? his voice can sound The echoes man, the echoes,,

00:38 - okay this is literally one of my favorite lines dawon’s voice sounds so good here i literally canNOT get over it any time i listen to this song. That “OoH” at ~00:43? the “geuriumi miumi dwaegimaneul I PRAY” ,, an instant classic

00:48 - the VOCALS at this part,, unmatched

01:07 - the “oh-ohh” in the bg i love it shjkshf

01:34 - loook when i tell you youngbins part is my fave part of this song!!! it’s a shame it’s so short but OH i’m always so excited when it starts,, idk what it is,, his voice? the vibes?? the rhymes?? whatever it is,,, it all comes together to make one of my fave youngbin verses

02:00 - yes I already pointed out dawon’s “i pray” part but it hits different everytime he does it, i’m telling you!

02:01 - the amount of layers in this song,, i think it’s inseong&rowoon right?? and then jaeyoon’s little “hey ay”s 🥺

02:39 - chani’s part is like, third favorite for this song. I love his voice, the vibes of this ,, the “yeh yeh” at ~2:43

02:54 - zuho does this thing where it sounds like he’s trying to rush and squish his verse into a certain frame of measures but in the end it still spills into the next measure and tbh i like it here dsfhjkh

02:57 - the POWER in this man’s VOICE ugh this verse is truly for me like going from dawon singing like THAT to jaeyoon, oof i’m in love

03:23 - youngbin’s “tell me where the love goes”,, the little echo of it (how many times will i mention echoes? stay tuned)

03:34 - that ending,, *chef’s kiss*

3. Shh

firstly i love that i now know Two (2) songs with this title (okay the Seventeen one has another ‘h’ but, still), and i love that they’re two diff feels. seventeens is that Good Noise, and has the “shh , just trust me” vibe, while sf9’s is just “shhhut up”

00:00 - the guitar! yes

00:12 - i dont even know what to call this sound but i love it

00:26 - LOVE tae’s vocals oof

00:28 - “right here is where i wanna be”,, you know where i wanna be?? an sf9 concert

00:33 - jaeyoon’s “baby don’t question me”,,, 😳

00:40 - the R is Rowoon stands for RealTalent

00:54 - the instrumental to this song is so good like i could just listen to that alone; also that “ooh~” we stan!

01:02 - inseong’s vocals in this song (okay in ANY song, but we’re talking about this song rn) are just,, amazing

01:26 - i just noticed how that “yeahhh” drags on idk how i feel about this im shdfjkh

01:36 - hi i’m tawa and i’m a dawonaholic

01:50 - shout to that beautiful saxophone tho,, gorgeous

02:03 - see i’m trying to limit how many times i mention dawons lines bc otherwise i would just comment on all of his lines ANYWAY this line hits different the second time around,, when he hits this note,,, i’m ascending as we speak

02:25 - okay the instrumental during zuho’s part,,, good stuff.. his part in general,, GOOD stuff!! 

02:30 - the pause at the end of the line and then the little ‘ding’! musical gold

02:33 - his little “whoop”s and “hey”s and “ay”s omg Number One Hype Man Baek Juho!! the build up of the music & him increasing the speed of his rap,, who is doing it like zuho please tell me

02:39 - here’s a secret: i love dawon’s vocals

02:45/2:51 -  K I M   I N S E O N G

02:56 - okay just one more time,, i love dawons vocals

Wait was hwiyoungbin in this song? Sdfhkjh

4. Lullu Lalla 

okay idk what i was on the first time i heard this song but for whatever reason i didn’t think much of it,, but now i have seen the [beautiful] light i absolutely love this song

00:00 - like it just started and the music is so cute and cheery omg i love this, youngbin’s little “here we go yo~”

00:07 - okay i know the lyric is “drop in” but in my mind i always say “jopping” 💀💀

00:11 - “hey what’s good?” sir it’s your voice,, your voice is whats good

00:20 - hwis voice is so cute i love it sdhfjkh

00:30 - the little “WheeEe” !! i giggle every time it’s so flippin cute like i have the stupidest smile on my face rn i love this part so mcuh

00:40 - the ‘ya jamkkan’ and then the small pause yo i LOVE this and also the “jinjja?” sdhfjkshj GOD i love this song 

00:41 - if you try to tell me this song is not perfect for jaeyoon’s voice i will Not listen to you. youve lost your right to form opinions i’m sorry

00:54 - i have no idea what to call it but that little high pitch noise/sound/thing that kinda mimics the lyrics/rhythm is so cute to me, esp in a later part of the song but we’ll get to that when we get to that

01:05 - “DONT YOU STOP”, filed under “Lines Tawa Cannot Hear and NOT Sing Along To”

01:09 - i really cant think of any other word to describe dawons voice here except cute :(( maybe i just think hes cute :(( also inseong’s “you’re so crazy~” like okay we get it you have vocals 

01:12 - sdhfjkhkj the only thing better than the “whee” is chani going “yeaayyy” 😭😭😭 tell me this isnt the cutest part of the song!! I dare you!!

01:22 - there goes zuho doing that thing with his rap again

01:24 - “nan sweet guy” is also filed under “Lines Tawa Cannot Hear and NOT Sing Along To”, i think jaeyoons voice is so soft and pretty here :c 

02:07 - idk what to say i just like these lines

02:12 - completely unbiased but this is like my fave part of the song omg yes dawon bb hit those notes 😭 and the at the end of his note that high pitch thing comes in and does its little thing and it’s so cute okay? this whole song is just so CUte. i havent read the lyrics translations but the small words/phrases ive picked up oh it’s cute i should really read the translations for these songs sometime shdfkjsh

02:23 - the way dawon says “beolsseo time over” is like one of my favorite things ever, along with how he says “joha” (well, more like “jowa” sdhfkjh but it’s so cute ugh im devastated why do i love his voice so much okay anyway--

02:49 - yoo taeyang ily

02:53 - “that was crazy” you know what’s crazy? How cute that song is

5. One Love

00:00 omg cute funky queennn!! also not to be me but like,, jaeyoons ooh-ooh ooh’s at the beginning is enough reason for this to win aoty no i will not accept any other opinions

00:20 - idk why i just like how inseong says “naman bollae”

00:24 - jaeyoon ;;-;;

00:33 - just,, this,,, *heart eyes* taeyang’s lil airy voice is like,, so good,, so beautiful

00:41 - baby,,,i want you, so loving for you,,, you’re all i think about all day,,,,, bros this is lichrally me @ dawon i can’t believe the writers for this song would get inspo from me WHERE ARE MY ROYALTIES. okay but seriously his voice when he sings haru jongil ni saengakbbuniya :((( <33 i like to imagine he’s softly smiling as his voice softens and trails off at the end,,, oh no oh boy im soft look what ive done ive thought about this for too long lets move on before i start-- *cries*

01:09 - part 247023789 of my crying over dawon’s vocals. stay tuned for more

01:22 - ugh kim inseong if you dont stop 

01:29 - OW

01:30 - love how taeyang sings this esp the ending syllable omg 

01:44 - the little trill or whatever in jaeyoon’s voice,, filed under “Reasons to Smile”

01:57 - i lichrally screamed like his voice is just so pretty and then the layering when he says “bbuniya” im gonna cry see you guys later 

02:43 - chani~~~

02:47 - whys hwi rapping like he had a time limit and he almost went over it like,,, they really just smooshed rap line all into this one part which like i guess i get? the way this song goes doesnt really lend itself to rap i guess ?

02:51 - the pause, the silence,,, only to be broken by the golden vocals of kim inseong,, im love

02:58 - seong’s lil “yeah!"

03:17 - “focus on my mind YEAH”

03:27 - sweet ending to a sweet song ;c

6. Like the Hands Held TIght

this song is truly Fall in Love’s little cousin like they are really related and im not good with words so i cant explain it but i just KNOW. sometimes i’ll be singing fall in love in my head but then somehow it turns into like the hands held tight?? If i could make song mash-ups i would

00:06 - i go “take my, my hands yeahh” at least once a day. thank you taeyang

00:14 - i need a taeyang solo and i need it now ; also i really like hwis verse? Idk what it is about it but it fits him very well and he does so good during the stages, he rocks it

00:32 - i like all of bin’s verse but esp this part especially especially bc of the choreo during it

00:37 - and then THIS part and dawon’s the only one on stage,,, what an experience,,

00:44 - the way he pronounces maeumeul is just.. *chefs kiss*

00:49 - another instance of tae’s wonderful airy? singing being absolutely perfect for the song concept

00:55 - aah~

01:00 - the EMOTION 

01:08 - idk what it is but inseong singing ‘gotongdoO~!’,, my heart,, sasiliya feel it

01:12 - imma say it now bc you already know im thinking it,, jaeyoons voice is PERFECT for this song, hands down no questions,,, that falsetto

01:16 - “nae huimangui bichi neoya” ♡_♡

01:19 - “sumeul swineun iyudo” 

01:21 - “AY. AY!”

Idk if it’s obvious but i just LOVE his part it’s so good i love the way he sings

01:34 - ‘yeah yeah yeah’

01:35 - omg i love rowoons part and his little dance during the stage it’s so good so wonderful just all around amazing great job seokwoo

01:37/01:39 - the little pause before the “yeah”s and just how different these two yeahs are but also i love them both equally

01:47 - *eun dan oh voice* HARU-YAH sdhfkjh okay anyway i love the way jaeyoon sings these lines esp how he says haru and naeili (also? Time over? like is this lullu lalla?)

01:57/02:06 - dawon :’) 

02:42 - dAngerOUS neooreuuuul wihaaaae

02:47 - dawon’s vocals omgggg

02:53 - okay whos that high note im LIVING for this

02:57 - ugh okay i love taeyang in the background; taeyang in this song in general,,, 

03:05 - jaeyoons lines are just so gooddd i love singing along to this song

7. Fire

00:00 - love the little sounds at the beginning,, quality start

00:04 - “it’s me” uhm okay but who are you? 

00:05 - the instrumental is so good tho sdhkjh oof

00:36 - not biased or anything but oh my goodness dawon’s voice!! It’s so pretty :c

00:41 - ready! ready! (go)

00:43 - LET’S GOO

The chorus for this song is just,,, so GOOD im sorry i only have like 5 words in my vocabulary but omg it’s just,,good

00:49 - this line!! I love it

00:59 - rowoon has that kinda voice that he could be saying any nonsense and you’d just be like *heart eyes* yes say it again king;; the way he says “let it go, let it go”

01:05 - love me love me love me YEAH 👌🏾

01:15 - YES

01:25 - omg youngbin ily omg his part is so lit but not like HYPE lit it’s just,, it’s chill lit we vibin

01:38 - im a little bit in love with dawon’s vocals in this song. just a little.

01:42 - the way he says READY. YOU GUYS IM CRYING I LOVE HIM?

01:50 - the way inseong sings “neoman” just,, soO good. inseong... good. 

02:01 - rowoon if you dont be careful im gonna ‘fall in love’ with you

02:15 - chani & zuhos raps + the music change im LOVE this it’s so good

2:24 - omg zuho finishes his rap on time OH YEAH

02:27 - *cries* okay this is it,, this is my favorite dawon line in this song

02:34 - is it really an sf9 song without inseong’s incredible vocals??

02:40 - wait maybe this is my favorite dawon line?? Idk dont touch me;;; the way he says “neoman”,,,,, give me amoemn t dklfmsd fn.l

02:41 - okay and this part, that note,,,, lee sanghyuk,,,,,

8. Stop it Now

00:01 - okay we vibin

00:16 - i really think hwi’s voice fits this song so well, along with like the hands held tight, also love the instrumental during his part;;; is this his longest verse on the album ,, sdhfkj

00:31 - im not gonna lie i think this is jaeyoon but part of me is like what if its taeyang,, either way,, beautiful voice

00:45 - THIS is taeyang and THIS LINE?? perfect, he executes it so well. this album was truly made for him; also love the instrumental here,, i feel like i’d hear it in the bg of a fantasy mmo/rpg

00:59 - idk what it is about inseongs voice but i love it

01:03 - chaniiii

01:06 - :)

01:16 - hello there sir

01:31 - oh his voice is so pretty ;-;

02:23 - zuho’s raps being the buildup is my aesthetic bro

02:31 - YES inseong homygod

02:36 - dawon ;cc also inseongs bg vocals,, thanks for your contribution king

02:40 - wait was i not paying attention or is this the first time rowoon sings (i probably wasnt paying attention)

02:44 - dawons little ‘yeah yeah’ and little adlibs?? filed under “Reasons to Stan”

02:51 - all the layering these background vocals and adlibs and just,,, what a lovely mix

02:53 - inseong imma let you finish but dawon’s “janin hage” is the greatest :// no im not biased

9. Dance with Us

00:01 - i love zuhos voice throughout this song omg :( 

00:05 - omg the piano in the bg is so cute um i love it:((((

00:21 - the way inseong sings “nun bushyeo” 🥺

00:23 - tae’s high notes 🥺🥺🥺

00:28 - okay this line,, him saying ‘i like you’,,, ;;-;;

00:30 - lovvvvve hwis verse here, and the little “ay”s 

00:38 - LMAO i just noticed the “AH!” in the bg??? Why?? 

00:40 - okay this line reminds me of bin’s verse in another song but i cant?? pinpoint it???? uhhhh i think it’s see u tomorrow?

00:47 - okay that transition from jaeyoon to taeyang,,, *chefs kiss*

00:52 - rowoon saying ‘haru’, they did it for us @extraordinary you stans

also im  reading the lyrics as i do this and omg wait this song is so cute so precious,,”today was hard,wasnt it baby? Close your eyes you can hug me??” i’m sobbing?? I’m developing a new love for this song oh my heart--

00:56 - rowoons vocals when he says “naege angyeodo dwae” omg pls

00:57 - LOVE the layering during the chorus it’s so good but also i cant tell who the lower voice is? Zuho? Hwiyoung??

01:12 omg *a wild dawon appears*

01:16 - SKR SKRR

01:19 - no i’ll never shut up about dawon’s vocals

01:40 - these vocals mannnn,, you know what?? I need a jaeyoon & taeyang duet. like i know weve already got one from concerts but i need MORE 

02:27 - i just love this part :(( 

02:31 - i was literally like “wheres inseong” and then he comes out with his powerful vocals as per usual,,,

02:35/’8 - like do you hear this??? go OFF sir also love how the music quiets down and then slowly builds back up !!

03:07/’8 - AAAAH YES BEST PART OF THE SONG I LOVE CHORUS/CHANTING OH IT’S SO GOOD I LOVE IT I LOVE THISS

03:23 - *whispers* dope

10. Beautiful Light

00:11 - “once in a lifetime~”

00:34 - i have already said and will continue to say this but rowoons voice is so perfect for this song

00:49 - dawon i would LOVE to be with you forever

00:53 - ugh this chorus is just so cute, so sweet ;c

00:59 - the way they sing “malhae JUlgeoya”,,, ugh love this little note jump thing idk what to call it,, it’s like a pretty version of a voice crack 😂😅

01:23 - zuhoooo

01:40 come through main vocalist kim youngkyunnnn!!

02:00 - yes im pointing out this line again i LOVE it

02:23 - this part 🥺🥺 

02:29 - OKAY THIs PART!!! I swear rowoon’s voice is sooo pretty hear idk what it is but when he sings this line,,, my heart feels thing,,,emotions,,, it’s so much

02:33 - that “hoo-oh~” ugh rowoon please record an audiobook i could listen to you for hours 😔

02:44 - alright,, i have figured out the formula for sf9 songs,,, music slow down then build up with inseong’s high/long note around ~2:30-40 dkfhjsk before the last chorus but this time with more adlibs (probably also by inseong)

okay i’m done (for now) fsdfhjkhsf i’d be surprised if anyone actualy read any of this tbh. if you did read this, congratulations you have a better attention span that i do LMAO i would say stan sf9 but if youre reading this you probably already do

okay bye goodnight

[kuiinncedes]

jsdkgfjfdf

[sapphic-woes]

Alcina Dimitrescu x Fem!Reader - Repentance

A/N: This? Super random and jumping fandoms lmao oops. Anyways you're a nun and Alcina wants to ruin you :)

Word Count: 3k. AO3 Link

________________

You were a nun. A servant of God. You'd come to the Village to save these people from their lack of knowledge, and to lead them to salvation through the holy scriptures of your Lord.

So...why were you laying here, helpless as fingers drilled into your dripping cunt, trying your best not to let out sinful sounds of pleasure as Alcina mercilessly fucked you?

I should have ran away when I had the chance.

You watched her take a long drag of her pipe. Her eyes were trained on your shivering form, pupils flickering with a snap at every jolt of your limbs and stifled gasps from your lips. You didn't know whether the hunger in her eyes was for you or your flesh. You didn't know whether your heart pounded out of ecstasy or fear.

"I told you not to hold in your voice." Alcina's voice was a low drawl. It contrasted the excited thumping of her own heart. She took great pleasure in seeing you like this, loving how ruined you were from her two thick fingers alone. Your long black gown was always perfect. Ironed and fitting like a bedsheet over your body.

It hid so much. Too much. Plush skin that quickly reddened under her grip, a scent of blood pleasantly sweet. It was a sin to hide such a delicacy from her, and with your dress now rumpled and bunched up around your waist, Alcina was keen on indulging herself.

"You're always holding back...even after the maids told you what goes on behind closed doors." Your eyes widened, and the woman merely laughed–pearly whites making you shudder.

"You think I didn't know? Those little mice can't keep secrets for long...especially with someone so entertaining as you. It was amusing. Seeing you stare at all my glasses of wine. Watching you blush when a maid left my chambers with her collar unbuttoned..." She muttered so softly, yet she pushed into you without any gentleness. Her strength was frightening, and you rocked forward in the bed with a choked cry. You barely managed to muffle your noises, and Alcina frowned, taking another drag.

Annoying. The Lady Dimitrescu sat on the edge of her bed, simply observing you as she thrust her fingers into your slick folds. How long would you suppress yourself? Alcina had never felt so aggravated by another person before, annoyed with your poised demeanor the moment you entered her castle.

Nothing seemed to phase you–not her height, her daughters, or the lingering stench of death that accompanied the halls. Even when she instructed the maids to tell you what really happened in the castle, you still focused on what you'd come to do: to lead everyone in the castle to repentance.

You would experience repentance, alright. She was sure of it. She wouldn't let you sleep tonight without being reborn–and Alcina was eager to see what lay underneath all the layers you so neatly wrapped yourself in.

"After hearing all that..." Her fingers curled, and she pleasured you with artistry, leaving you burdened with a fire in your core. "What did you think would happen when I called for you tonight?" You whimpered, feeling foolish for your naivety.

"We'd...p-pray..." Her red lips mockingly curled, black hair shifting as she tilted her head. Her yellow eyes gleamed like cursed golden jewels, narrowing in disbelief.

"Even though you know what I do to young maidens like you? Were you hoping to pray the blood off my hands, sister? I hope not..." She leaned down closer, a slow thrust of her fingers making your body tremble as she hummed. "It would be a waste of perfectly good food."

At that, she took one final drag of her pipe before setting it down–wanting to get down to business. She'd wanted to rile you up, and certainly, with your little body shivering under her you were. However, that wasn't enough.

She wanted you ruined. Undone until you were asking her to do things you could never say aloud in the pews of your precious church, free to your own desires.

Your eyes widened as the ceiling above you slowly disappeared, replaced by her body. Soon all you saw was Alcina, and her shadow cast over you like a bad omen, skin prickling in terror. Like this, there was no escape from her hands. They could hold you down and let her watch you squirm, entertain her with your fear before she finally struck. You were a maiden, and she was the lady of the house...

...and with horror you realized, no one would bat an eye if another helpless woman disappeared within these castle walls.

Alcina blinked as she felt you tighten around her fingers. She hadn't expected such a reaction simply from hovering above you, quite the opposite actually. You were trapped within the living cage of her body, and Alcina knew how she looked amidst the darkness of her room, with the dim candlelight only offering a wicked glint to her eyes. And yet...you were throbbing around her digits, cheeks a deeper scarlet despite the growing fear in your eyes.

Oh? You were becoming more entertaining to Alcina by the second, and she was happy to provide what you so obliviously desired.

"Perhaps I should give you one last chance. For courtesy sake." You gasped as she removed her fingers from your sodden cunt, lifting her hand to her mouth. Slowly, she dragged her wet fingers across her tongue, cleaning the taste of you off of them. Her eyes never left your own wavering ones, lips twisting into a cruel smile as she spoke.

"I'll give you till the count of three, darling. Do try your best to escape this castle...but if I catch you?" Her freshly cleaned hand reached out to grab your chin, brushing her thumb over your bottom lip.

"I'll have my fill of you tonight. Straight from the source."

______________

"Little mouse..." Her steps weren't hard to miss. They fell off tune to the frantic beat of your own heart. "Where have you run off to?"

Her laughter was like chimes under a warm summer breeze, a stark contrast to the cold chill running down your spine. You pressed yourself harder against the wall, shaky hands desperately pressed over your mouth. You were heaving from running for so long, the soles of your feet sore after slapping endlessly over the hard floor.

Alcina had given you ample time before she'd gone after you, yet still you felt like this was a lost cause. Every time you felt there was progress, suddenly you'd hear those frightening footsteps further down the hall, or in the next room you needed to go through. Then you would turn on your heels and run back the way you came, losing all your progress. It felt like she was extending this game of cat and mouse for as long as she could, and if that was the case...

...wasn't she simply toying with you until she got bored?

The nauseating sound of her nails scrapping against the walls made you shudder, squeezing your eyes shut. You wrapped your arms tighter around your waist, clad in nothing but your ripped black gown. It had been perfectly fine when this game had first begun, but at one point...

You tripped over the edge of a rug, falling with a cry. You immediately tried to scramble back up, but it was too late. Her shadow fell over you, and Alcina's towering silhouette made you whimper, fervently pleading with her not to kill you. She seemed pleased with your frantic words, hand gracefully extending out before she appeared to flex, and long, sharp claws grew out from her nails. Her smile was surely from the devil, too drunken on your fright than to be remotely good. You sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut as she raised her claws to strike–

However, you didn't feel them sink into your body. Instead, you felt a slight sting on the top of your right thigh, and tentatively you opened your eyes, looking down. Your gown was torn from the bottom of your hips down, revealing your bare legs to the massive, predacious woman above you. Her eyes seemed to spark, and Alcina let out a fake gasp, cupping her own cheek with her clawed hand before she spoke.

"Would you look at that, it seems I've missed..." She raised an eyebrow when all you did was quiver, staring up at her in shock. She lifted her hand again, this time wiggling the claws playfully.

"Cute...are you waiting for me to hit the mark this time?"

You'd scrambled to your feet immediately after that.

It was clear she enjoyed chasing you down more than actually catching you, and while that made your stomach turn, it also fluttered.

What was wrong with you? Each echoing hum of her voice, goading call for her darling nun, and pretty little mouse made your heart skip a beat and breath quicken. Though you feared for your life, your folds were slick with desire, and you swore you were wetter than ever before.

Was this some kind of bewitchment? You felt too ashamed to think of it long, pulling on what was left of your dress to cover your dripping heat in embarrassment. You had to focus on living. You could spend the rest of your days purging your body of its unholiness after–

After Alcina left, and you could move on with your escape...but...where was Alcina?

"There you are." The door at the end of the hallway abruptly opened. Her brute force caused the door to collide with the wall, and a resounding bang made your body jump and heart nearly stop, eyes wide. Your head snapped to meet her own sharp gaze, breath hitching in your throat.

Oh no.

She dipped, hand gripping the top of the door frame as she squeezed through the normal–sized entrance. It was something else to watch her unwind and fill up the space of the hallway. To look down at you as if you were nothing more than prey to her. Between your thighs, your heat tightened, and you found it difficult to breathe.

It's from the fear. I swear. It's from the fear... You backed away as Alcina's eyes trailed over you, resting on your hand still tugging your dress over your drenched cunt. She chuckled at the sight, lifting her gaze back to your reddened face.

"Why do you even try to hide it? I can smell you from here." The shame that washed over you was enough to make you pray on your knees for a week straight. It was also enough to have your core burn with an aching need as you stumbled back, wetness dripping down your thigh.

"P-please, let me go..." Even as you spoke, you couldn't help but have your eyes flutter, feeling more like you were rehearsing lines in a play. Do I...actually want that? What? Of course, I do! Of course... Your inner struggle was cut off when Alcina hummed, taking menacing steps towards you with a swish of her dress.

"Oh? Is that what you want? ...Even though you look like you're begging for me to catch you? Eager to have my lips on your body...and my teeth in your flesh?" Purposely, Alcina slowly spoke, observing your reaction.

The adorable way you tugged at your dress, and how your knees drew together made it so obvious. The way you hesitated answering her, coupled with the glossy look of damning curiosity in your eyes...

I think I've chased her long enough. It's time to savor the meal.

Suddenly, Alcina's slow, leisure steps disappeared. They were replaced by purposeful strides, easily closing in on the distance between you two. That snapped you out of it, and you yelped, swiftly turning to run. Her haunting laughter echoed behind you, and she playfully called out.

"That's it. Run, darling. It makes the catch all the more satisfying." The vibration of her thundering steps filled your ears. Your heart pounded against your ribcage, a frenzied beat of terror. You burst through door after door, recklessly turning corners just to escape her sight. Heart-wrenching creaks and bangs scrapped at your ears as furniture was roughly shoved or thrown to the side. Alcina was making a beeline for you, and she didn't give a damn about anything else.

Finally, you became too exhausted to run, managing to hide in a random closet just before the door opened. Alcina squeezed through before standing tall again, regarding the room with a faint smile. Either you ran right through it or hid, and you hoped she would assume the former–

Through the crack of your closet's open door, you could catch her white dress. You scrambled away from the door, holding your breath. Silence filled the air. A beat passed. Was she still there?

To your horror, the eerie sound of Alcina's nail dragging across the wooden door disrupted the quiet air. Alcina hummed, low and steady, velvet voice making your stomach fill with dread.

"Found you."

The door swung open, yet light still did not enter your tiny space. It was all blocked out by Alcina, and she cooed as she watched you curl up in fear.

"Did you have fun?" She reached out to grab you, dragging you out with little effort. "I certainly did."

"Ugh!" You yelped as she practically threw you onto the bed, bouncing on the mattress before looking up. It was just in time to see her climb into the bed herself, making you shuffle away until your back hit the headboard. However, your efforts didn't matter as Alcina loomed over you anyway, wrinkles creasing as she feverishly grinned.

"Seeing you try your futile best...watching this face of yours crumble..." She cupped your shivering face in her hands, bringing you closer. I mustn't! You should have wrestled with her, fought tooth and nail to escape her lips. This wasn't right. This was blasphemous! To take pleasure in being hunted down by the devil herself was depravity, and yet...

When Alcina kissed you, you felt a part of you melt. The side that told you to be orderly at all times dissolved, and in its wake, you were left to only savor the beauty of Alcina's brutality.

She tasted sweet, like nothing you'd ever had before, and you welcomed her taste as holy on your lips. You clung to her thick arms, mind muddled with need. A sharp pain suddenly sparked in your bottom lip, and the kiss was tainted with a metallic before Alcina pulled away, your blood on her mouth. Her tongue darted out, and you watched, mesmerized as she licked the crimson liquid off her lips.

"You taste divine, darling..." She slyly smirked as you let out a wavering breath, "should I just have all of you right now? Or should I take you in bite by bite? Where do I even start?"

As Alcina mused aloud, she lowered her towering shadow until she could graze her teeth over your neck, tongue tickling over your quickening pulse. You flinched and squirmed as she teased you, teeth never once breaking skin as she pleased your aching body. Her hands roomed, fleeting touches setting your skin aflame and leaving you wanting more.

You wanted those teeth to bite down, to riddle you with pretty marks and red droplets everywhere. You wanted her fingers back in your sodden folds, to ram more powerfully than before until you were soaking the length of her hand. You wanted Alcina to have you however she saw fit...

...and heaven be damned if you couldn't have that.

"Alcina, please I–" Alcina looked down at her little nun in amusement, loving the clear desperation in your eyes. Finally.

You were beautiful like this–drenched and needy for her to fulfill your desires. Repentance was soon on its way, she was sure of it, giving you one more nudge as she suckled on the peak of your breasts before murmuring.

"No matter how much you beg me darling, I won't let you escape tonight–"

"I-I don't..." She hung on every word you spoke, though her face remained nonchalant. "I don't want to escape anymore, Alcina..." You swallowed, voice small as you continued.

"It seems I am damned to want you. To desire you to have me...however cruelly that may be. S-so please..." Alcina had to hold in the urge to chomp on your wrist and suck you dry right then and there. She watched the tears prickle in your eyes like pearls as you whispered, still too ashamed to speak the request any louder.

"Please have me, Lady. U-until you are, um, full..." Alcina bit her bottom lip, eyes capturing every inch of your scarlet face. She's so cute I actually just might...

______________

You felt weak. You didn't know if it was from the blood loss, or the fingers continuously wrecking your hole. It could have very well been both.

"You look so pretty crying under me like this." Alcina's voice was gruff, having lost her own composure long ago. Before, she'd sat beside you and simply observed. A detached, demeaning act. Now, she was much more engaged.

Her own gown was gone. She'd grown too hot in the thick fabric to keep it on, crumpled to the floor at the foot of the bed. Her eyebrows were knit together, focused as she pinned both your arms above your head, leaving nothing of your trembling body hidden from her.

Across your skin, bite marks were bright red and throbbing, droplets of blood running down your neck, waist, and arms. Even the inside of your thighs hadn't been spared, bites drawing blood dangerously close to your dewy folds. You moaned as she skillfully curled her fingers, thrusting deeper to hit your sweet spot.

"Look at that, you're sucking me in so much. What a needy little nun you are, hm?" Her scolding tone only forced out more sweet noises from your lips, losing your mind as she relentlessly fucked you. Alcina's smile frighteningly curled up, and she leaned over you, golden eyes glowing with violent lust.

"That's it. Just let everything go. Tell me what you need darling, tell me what you crave." What? What did you crave, with this nightmarish woman above you, twisting your soul? For a split second, you thought you didn't know.

Confused, you looked up at her through blurry tears, and for a moment you thought you saw a flicker of worry in her eyes. Why...? It was like the question was more than just simple goading, and you licked your lips, voicing an honest murmur into the warm night air between you too.

"T-then...please...bite me, Alcina." You cocked your head to the right, wincing as it flared up the bite mark on that side, but also exposed the untouched other side of your neck to her. "You, um, y-you missed a spot..."

There was silence for a beat. Long and heavy as Alcina simply stared down at you. For once, you saw something else other than cruelty plainly on her face–confronted with a shock that switched to relief, and then melted into undeniable joy–

–and then she moved with an overwhelming force, pain like sweet honey dripping over your neck as she bit down. Your vision blurred once again, and tears fell down your cheeks...but even if you did die tonight, you realized, you were finally free.