#this is really lengthy so again if you don't wanna go through all that i can respect that WBHSNGJFDHGDFJG just wanted to like

[ruvviks]

it's been a hot sec since i've talked about cyberpunk and i was initially working on a fic that would tell the story of this whole thing, but i've abandoned it many months ago and cannot say when i'll be picking it up again SO! i've decided to instead make this timeline. sorry in advance for how much information is in this thing the cyberpunk extended blorboverse essentially refers to the story parallel to the in-game events of cyberpunk 2077 that @mojaves and i came up with. we don't really have a better name for it but at this point the term has been used so many times that i feel like everyone here knows what it is by now, but at the same time we've never really explained the full scope of what the story is by now (it's a lot sorry). so in an attempt to get you guys a little bit more up to date with it all, here's a semi coherent timeline that describes the core events of the story and every branching story that came out of it! for additional background information, you can check out the following posts (timeline 1 / timeline 2 / timeline 3) to catch up with the continuation of the in-game storyline that's referenced in this timeline, but it's mostly irrelevant to everything here save for a couple of referenced events that cross over between the stories. it all ties together very intricately sorry about that. don't worry too much about it i've included my taglist down below to make sure people who are interested won't miss this post, but feel free to skip over this if it's not your thing! won't be doing a lot of this kind of stuff in the future but i'm trying to get back to the cyberpunk roots so this is kind of like, a good starting point and reference point for later posts!

The story starts in early 2077 and is centered around Sebastian Vidal, gang leader of the Cobras and previous test subject of Arasaka Special Programs (the linked page is a lot of information but gives the most coherent overview of what the branch actually is). The current director of the SERPENT projects, Andrew Colton, and Dr. Alana Cartier, both want him dead, to tie up their last loose end before the rest of Arasaka can find out and shut down Special Programs once and for all.

Over the past months they’ve been hiring various assassins in secret, to try and get Seb killed; however, these assassins keep failing, and their latest attempt lies in the hands of Cassidy Shaffer, an ex-corpo turned assassin with a strong moral code and plenty of experience to his name. With little to work with, as his mysterious client doesn’t give out much information, Cassidy starts with what he thinks is gonna be a quick and easy job– but he ends up hunting after Seb for essentially a year.

During this year, the two men have a series of wild encounters that get more and more insane the longer it goes on; it includes, but is unfortunately not limited to, Cassidy biting off a chunk of Seb’s ear, the two of them running over the highway, the two of them getting handcuffed together and chased by the NCPD then hit by a car right in front of the hospital, and Seb sensually licking blood off Cassidy’s face after having stabbed him when Cassidy wanted to strike at a concert Seb is visiting.

All of it comes to a sudden stop when Cassidy learns his client has been lying to him the whole time, and since he does not appreciate lying clients he ends up jumping sides and teams up with the Cobras to do some cleanup duty in Arasaka Special Programs. He and Seb work together to go after a list of targets to get the still ongoing projects mostly to a halt, while remaining in the shadows themselves as to not draw too much attention their way; and during this collaboration they meet several people from their past, bringing back both good and bad memories.

One of these people is Hanan Chisaka, the Head of Security at Special Programs. She ends up becoming the next test subject of Project Cobra after the last successful subjects, Xavier and Gabriel Mason, end up escaping in the midst of the chaos of Hanako Arasaka’s capture in mid-2077. Once Seb’s best friend and Cassidy’s mentor, she’s now forced to hunt the both of them down; but in their final confrontation she snaps out of the controlled mode Arasaka keeps her in and runs away with them, effectively leaving Special Programs without any test subjects. Another one of these people is Reid Bennett, Cassidy’s ex and ex-coworker back at MaxTac. He still works for the corporation and has been on an ongoing investigation into Arasaka Special Programs; seeing Cassidy alive and well, working together with Seb no less, piques his interest and he continues to look further into the case, which will cause him to make a very big mistake later on in the timeline.

By September 2078, Seb and Cassidy have successfully taken down all their planned targets and retreat back into the shadows, leaving Special Programs with many losses and no test subjects. With the APEX program discontinued a month earlier (incident discussed in this fic, which is a continuation of the in-game events), and Hanako Arasaka recovered and ready to take the corporation back from the hands of her corrupt brother, Special Programs ends up having to retreat for the time being, and cook up a new plan in the background.

Special Programs by this point is run by Andrew Colton, Alana Cartier, and Kaida Akiyama, three players who have been in the game for a long time already in the SERPENT projects’ runtime. Colton and Cartier are married– Cartier used to be married to Seb and cheated on him for a good amount of time when he was still at Arasaka– but their marriage is starting to fall apart. Akiyama has had to watch over Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne for a while during his chase after the Mason twins, which ended up with the twins dead and Hawthorne going into early retirement (Arasaka doesn’t know the twins faked their death and Ambrose is now dating one of them lol), and xe is now determined to help Colton and Cartier get Seb back into Arasaka so the projects can continue.

Cassidy’s initial plan was to leave as soon as the collaboration would come to an end, but he has found his place with the Cobras and instead ends up officially joining them.The next chapter in the story is a more laid-back and easygoing chapter, in which Cassidy learns to be part of real life again, and in which Seb learns to let people get close to him again after spending years trying to convince himself he doesn’t need any help. Over the course of a little over a year (all the way to November 2079), the two grow even closer than they had already done, going on gigs together and, you guessed it, slowly but surely falling in love until they inevitably end up together at the end of it.

Not long after the two get together, Reid returns into Cassidy’s life. He wants to try and be friends again and Cassidy gives him a second chance, though this soon enough turns out to have been a mistake, with Reid trying to create distance between Seb and Cassidy and then going as far as trying to sell Cassidy to Kang Tao (one of the few corporations that have been hunting Cassidy down for a while now) in exchange for his own freedom from MaxTac (where he would have otherwise been stuck at for probably the rest of his life). Naturally, Reid can’t watch Cassidy get tortured for long and leaks his location to the Cobras, who find and free Cassidy and take Reid into captivity instead– he does not get killed, but instead has to sit out some time at a safehouse somewhere in solitude, where he gets to decide what kind of person he wants to be in the future.

This brings us to Elysium; a gorgeous spaceship which was supposed to be a relatively cheap escape from reality for everyone who wanted a refreshing break from Earth, but through Arasaka sponsorship has become just another cash-grab project to compete with the Crystal Palace– and considering the megacorporation has its greasy hands all over it, the secret labs in the spaceship are used for a series of very unethical experiments. Naturally so, it would be the perfect place for Colton to continue his SERPENT projects without the risk of Hanako Arasaka finding out and shutting the place down. He sends forces up to Elysium (obviously after his other attempts at relocating the project to space have failed tremendously, having lost contact with every single crew in the smaller Arasaka stations in orbit around the planet), but since he’s not there himself his cousin (one of the CEOs of Elysium), Maxwell Crane, unbeknownst to Colton, takes control of the SERPENT projects in space instead. From the earlier linked Special Programs page: “Project Eryx used the technology of previous projects, but took a completely new approach in the hosts it used; rather than focusing on the human psyche it attempted to create a new type of cyborg which would lack the humanity that caused previous projects to fail. The Cobra chips were no longer used and the software was instead installed directly onto the host’s mainframe. The flexibility of the new hosts– more robot than human, and in some cases the entire human aspect was lacking altogether– allowed for experimentation with highly advanced cybernetic enhancements and military grade tech and upgrades, turning the test subjects– dubbed ‘prototypes’– into dangerous, unstoppable killing machines.”

Things settle down for Seb and Cassidy, but this moment of peace does not last long. In January 2081 the two find themselves traveling to the spaceship Elysium, to investigate a curious situation in the laboratories– they’ve been hired by Arasaka without their knowledge and it’s a setup to get Cassidy killed and Seb back in Cartier’s control.

While in space, they learn that the secret labs have suffered an outbreak of the above mentioned prototypes. They quickly connect the dots and realize Special Programs is back in the game, and they work together with security guards Aubrey Valentine and Leon dello Russo to try and fix the situation before it gets out of hand. Obviously this fails tremendously and Elysium ends up on a complete lockdown after a ship-wide outbreak, which is eventually contained in late March of that year, with CEO Maxwell Crane dead, leaving only his wife Kinsley Osborn behind.

Elysium continues to exist and is rebuilt after the crisis, and Kinsley Osborn can now finally turn it into the retreat it was always meant to be. Previously, most Elysium employees were to be stuck in space for the rest of their lives; however, with Arasaka out of the picture they are free to leave as they please, which results in a gigantic cut in total employee count in the months that follow.

Seb and Cassidy return to Night City and take Aubrey and Leon with them. Aubrey reunites with his sisters; Becca, James, and Rikki, and soon after his return to the city he opens an LGBTQ+ nightclub called Bodytalk with them, found Downtown, City Center, in June 2081. Not only is it a fun place to hang out at, it’s also his main hub as a fixer, and he starts a collaboration with the Cobras to get business going between the gang and the club; and soon enough it grows into a large and powerful network of connections, which is the foundation on which the rest of the stories are built.

After this point in time, many many more things happen but it would take me another hour or ten to go into full detail of all of that, so instead here’s a quick rundown of some of the other things that Bodytalk gets involved in:

Reid Bennett is handed over to Aubrey and he starts working at the club, and he becomes a very valued employee as well as a good friend to many now that he’s no longer fucking insane

Kaida Akiyama returns from Elysium and shows up to Hanan’s doorstep, to ask for her help with getting out of Arasaka for good; much later on, xe starts working for Bodytalk as well, in an attempt to put xyr past behind xem and become a better person

Urban Dynamite starts performing at the club regularly, and it becomes their home base

Luna Serratos, Cassidy’s ripperdoc friend from all the way back to killing era, gets involved in the Harbinger case from Maelstrom (one of the gang’s most feared members); turns out the Harbinger is in fact Reuben de la Rosa, a by then 22-year-old kid who has ended up in Luna’s care with his friend Noah Telavera after the two got caught up in an explosion. She requests the Cobras’ help with getting Maelstrom to let Reuben go

Officer Michele Diaz from Militech (who used to be Cassidy’s boss) is demoted following the lawsuits after the Elysium incident, and her investigation into the incident in hopes to get her job back leads her to Bodytalk; she begins threatening them and sends the whole club and their allies into uncertain times

Many people get married. There’s so many fucking guys here we went a little insane with the numbers but there’s several weddings and there’s a whole polycule going on too feel free to send asks about this if you’re interested

Cobra Cybernetics releases a new line of cyberware, which is incredibly buggy and dangerous to the public; it’s brought to the club’s attention and it makes them realize that Luiza Vidal (Seb’s sister), who not that long ago asked them to kill her husband (William Colton (Andrew’s brother), CEO of Cobra Cybernetics), has gone missing; they now need to get involved without getting the news out that they actually didn’t kill William and that he is still alive somewhere, while also balancing out dynamics between Biotechnica (angry at Cobra Cybernetics for stealing their designs) and Arasaka (the actual reason why Cobra Cybernetics’ designs look like Biotechnica’s designs, because William stole designs from Special Programs after halting their partnership after the Elysium incident, but these designs had been stolen by Arthur Jenkins from Biotechnica even BEFORE that to be able to hijack the European Space Council’s cybernetics following the Frankfurt incident. Are you still with me)

Vitali Dobrynin (fixer and main character from the in-game events storyline and the continuation of it; Vincent “V” Mayer’s boyfriend) ends up visiting Bodytalk after meeting Aubrey at a Fixer Council meeting, which happens in late 2083; this essentially ties the two main storylines together, which means that yes, a lot of the characters from the two separate storylines end up meeting :]

Officer Ulysses Dimakos (used to work with Reid at MaxTac) is sent to investigate Bodytalk following the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and ends up teaming up with the club to get MaxTac on a dead trail in exchange for his freedom of the corporation

On top of the Bodytalk / Cobras centered storyline, there’s a couple of side stories that are still connected to the whole thing but are more of a standalone thing with only a few touching points to the rest of it all:

This obviously takes place a lot earlier because it’s already mentioned above, but Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne is tasked with chasing after the escaped Mason twins; naturally he lets them go and ends up going into retirement, and Xavier Mason later on ends up becoming Bodytalk’s part-time repair guy on account of knowing Kaida

Gabriel Mason ends up in a car crash with retired security specialist Ames Ortega, who was also in Elysium during the incidents there, and the two end up babysitting Ambrose and Xavier’s kids together while those two are helping Hanan with getting Kaida out of Arasaka (Are you still with me. Blink if you can hear me)

Mercenary Frankie Sayyad gets a promotion from his fixer, Vulture (real name Diana Crane, Maxwell Crane’s older sister and cousin of the Coltons), and becomes one of her Bloodhounds; he works together with Evelyn Harris, Nimue Nkuna, and Beckett Rydel, the latter being one of the very first test subjects of Arasaka Special Programs, and the four accidentally get themselves mixed into a mystery concerning their secretive fixer

Caleb Harris, ex-security at Biotechnica, ends up back at Club Bodytalk not long after the conclusion of the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and starts working for Aubrey; he is partnered up with Ramiel Al-Masri, a mercenary who has been working for Vitali Dobrynin for a while and has recently joined Aubrey’s mercenary roster too, and together they dive into a series of gigs neither of them had expected

Journalist Bodhi Shankar has finally found more evidence and information surrounding the mysterious cult gang Umbra and its so-called Prophet, Thiago Salazar; however, his antics have led to him accidentally becoming part of the gang himself, and he has to figure out a way to get Thiago to stop listening to the supposed deity that the gang worships known as Scintilla, before she makes him do things that will get many people killed

taglist (opt in/out)

@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;

@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;

@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;

@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @aemondtargeryen, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian;

@estevnys, @elgaravel, @aezyrraeshh, @carlosoliveiraa

[screampied]

‘GHOSTIN' ?! ★

ᡴꪫ sum. it's midnight and you're bored. bored and horny. everyone knows ghosts aren't real, or are they? you end up summoning a ghost and he's not leaving anytime soon, in fact, he wants to give you a taste of your own medicine for disrupting his slumber. you get a taste, alright.

wc. 5.0k

warnings. fem! reader, ghost! toji, unprotected, switch toji, praise, dirty talk, oral (m! receiving), manhandling, spit, impact play, brēeding, biting, size kink, mentions of tummy bulge, nipple play.

an. don't summon ghosts unless their name is toji fushiguro idk

don’t summon ghosts they said—you’ll regret it in the end they said,

but who cares? not you. besides, it’s not like ghosts even exist. you’ve never been one to believe in paranormal activity anyway, although all of that starts to change on a specific night. this night, the clock just struck twelve and you’re bored out of your skull. it was an ordinary sunday night and it was just you and your dead quiet apartment walls. as you’re scrolling on your phone, glancing at your feed a certain link catches your eye. wanna summon a ghost? click here to find out how.

to keep it brief, your curiosity eventually gets the best of you. with a snort, very much not believing the lengthy follow up article that warns you of the possible dangers to come of the spirit, you go into your bathroom, following the steps before your lights flicker. at first nothing happens, oh, see you knew ghosts weren’t real. annoyed a bit that you wasted fifteen minutes of your time—you prepare to leave the restroom when you feel a cold hand on creep on your shoulder.

“tch. the nerve,” a rough voice murmurs behind you. you tense up, craning your neck to indeed see the ghost that was displayed on the picture. yet, he looks more human-like if anything. toji, the name that was said to be his. toji eyes you up and down before a scoff leaves from his reddened slick lips. “why’d you summon me..”

you’re taken aback immediately. with a staggering height of almost six feet, you meet the soulless eyes of a mere attractive spirit. “i— uh,” you sheepishly peer down at your feet, not in a million years thinking it’d actually work. “you’re a real ghost?”

“uh obviously,” he murmurs, mocking your expense. trodding his bare feet across your carpet floor as if he knows the layout, he scratches his chest. “eh, what a mess. you live here?”

ouch, so he was hot and rude. figures,

you take a moment to gawk at the ghost’s attire. nothing really too appealing—just a simple white t-shirt with sweats. it almost could be mistaken as an eerie nightgown if you squint. again, he looks more human than an actual spirit. it was just the paleness of his skin that gave away his non-human features. his clothes weren’t the only thing you were staring at though.

his bulge,

its hard to not notice it, especially with a size like toji’s. you spot the invading print poke through his sweats, the roundness of it, basking in all its dirty glory. you had to restrain yourself from making a fool of yourself — licking your lips and almost allowing your lewd, obscene thoughts to take over. you couldn’t help it though, it was quite literally all in your face. you’re so entrapped in your little phantasm that you don’t even feel the ghost flicking his chilly cold fingers against your forehead.

“girl are you even listening?” he rasps.

“h-huh?” you look up, snapping out of whatever trance had you on such a leash.

toji deadpans, a groan sliding past his lips before he eyes you up and down. his gaze alone makes you nervous. “don’t huh me, i saw what you were looking at,” and he peels up his shirt with a single hand, exposing his curled up washboard abs. god, even as a ghost he was so ripped. your eyes ogle down towards the sable-black boxers he wore, the hem of it peeking from over his pants before he hums, amused. “wanna feel?”

“can i…?” your voice trails off, and it’s so pathetic and soft. you could hardly recognize your own softened tone but you didn’t care.

“knock y’erself out.” he hoarsely shrugs, and you barely give him a chance to finish before your fingers twang against his skin.

immediately, you feel how cold his body was, a shivering temperature that ghosts against your digits as you feel against his body. jade pupils of his burn into you as he watches intently. the hardness of his abs — you feel everywhere, the texture of it was rock hard. his muscles, the way he carried himself, the flexing of his abs. it was all just so attractive. despite how the lower half of his body was freezing, you continued to let your fingers wander on every part of his abdomen.

“you’re cute,” he murmurs, and you don’t realize he’s been staring at you the entire time. toji had to admit, for a human, you were quite easy on the eyes. maybe even his type, if he was a human himself. “are ya always this handsy towards people you first meet or…?”

“not really,” you huff, and your hand trails deeper until it stops near a certain area.

his happy trail,

it was so pretty, jumbles of blackened curly hairs run down near the under part of his v-line. he’s so perfectly sculptured. it was easy to compare his ghostly anatomy to a mere greek god. so perfect, the more your fingers explore down his muscular frame, the colder your fingertips get. “wow, are you sure you’re not a human?”

“wanna find out?”

his words struck right into you like a knife strikes its enemy — you pause, leering up at him with glossy eyes and a slight head tilt. in a coy tone, you rub the back of your neck. “y- yes.”

“c’mere then, girl.”

inching towards him, the ghost then pulls you into a longing kiss. its passionate at first then shifts to sloppy. you moan, feeling him try to pry open your lips with his tongue to allow him access. you do, savoring his freshly minty taste and even his tongue was just as cold. toji tasted like hypothermia—chillingly cold, yet your lips stuck against his like ice. speaking of, his lips stuck against yours like velcro, like glue. your breathing continues to grow heavier by the second before he snakes a hand around your neck, giving it a delicate squeeze. already, you were weak for his touch. toji’s thumb skids against the middle opening of your throat, physically feeling the vibrated sensations pour out from your sweet little esophagus.

a gasp wretches from your throat once you feel the front of his knee go right between your legs. it’s sneaky, the friction you feel from that muscle alone earns a soft noise from you. you whine in his mouth as tongues dance and tangle together in harmony.

where there’s harmony, there’s sync,

he loved the way your tongue curls into his mouth, tasting and savoring his minty flavor. you only wanted more by each dreadfully long second that passes. wobbly arms of yours sling around his neck and the static from his rubbing knee only grows. “f-fuck.” you’d whimper between hot, sultry kisses. suddenly, the air felt thick and heavy. you’re panting, lungs already feeling like they were about to collapse as he gingerly starts to suck on your neck. while he does, you succinctly open your eyes to see him already staring at you. darkened raven eyes, long untrimmed bangs that almost shield his eerie pupils alone, his eyes told a thousand stories.

his eyes told a thousand stories and maybe you wanted to know more about this ghoulish visitor.

after a while, the steamy kiss ends up departing and you gasp for air. “knees, pretty. get down for me.”

with how compliant you were, it was almost amusing to see. you get down on your knees, being face first with his bulge yet again. you just wanted to run your tongue everywhere. so full and well rounded, you already started to feel the saliva trickle into your mouth. mouthwatering. toji’s eyes rove towards the pullover hoodie you wore. with an impish expression, he claws a hand over your head delicately. a free finger of his crooks near your chosen attire.

“this. take it off, wanna see more of your body.” he utters in a low tone.

“for a ghost, you’re pretty pervy.” you tease, hauling the piece of clothing over your head.

“girl please. says the mortal staring at my crotch,” and as your hoodie is suddenly removed, he takes a good peek at your bra. he simpers. “mhm,” he inhales for a second, taking in your frame for a few solid moments. toji’s eyes then glance towards your chest. “bra, take that off too.”

you unclasp the back strap of your bra with one hand and he grunts once he sees your breasts spring free. “fuck, y’er pretty. ‘m gonna ‘hafta take my time with you.”

and he does,

toji’s got you on all fours, cutely struggling to take him fully into your mouth. his ruby-colored tip greets you and you can’t help but skitter your tongue against the frenulum. he groans, raking a hand in your scalp. as he’s standing, he moves a few strands of hair away from your face. “yeah, open that jaw. get it wet, spit on it if you have to, doll.”

“mmf,” a muffled moan comes from you as your knees dig into the ground. his taste was flavorless and still you wanted to savor it. sweet like candy, toji’s scent alone clogs up your nostrils and his darkened pubic hair tickle against the rim of your nose. he’s just so big though, so fucking big . .

as you’re taking him down inch by inch, it’s hard to try not to gag as he continues to gradually shove himself into your throat. toji’s abs clench and tighten as he sees your jaw hang open, giving you a single thrust and you pull away to gasp. already, you’re starting to drool for him. with your mouth left open ajar, it had easy access to the saliva dribble down the sides of your lips and onto your chin.

“heh, ‘s too big for you? that’s my bad.” he purrs.

“shut up,” you grumble, your tongue licking alongside his dick. a throbbing vein of his that runs down his side pulses against your tongue and you hear him hiss. toji’s still got a hand combing into your hair, pulling your head up concisely just so he can see that pretty face one more time. “so f-fuckin’ big.”

“this is just y’er mouth, wait ‘till ya feel me from the inside.”

you roll your eyes at his cockiness, preparing to take him inside of your mouth again. your spit covered lips open up and he coos once he sees that you’re slobbering. you let a few amounts of your sheeny saliva pour onto his shaft, wetting it in the process. “play with y’er tits, use ‘em.”

you grab ahold of your plump mounds, brushing a thumb against your perked nipples before your head starts to bob. as he’s sinking his dick into your tight little throat, he groans.

toji could get used to the warmth of your mouth, your plush lips suffocating all around him — he was addicted, and so were you.

with your head resuming to jolt up and down, bobbing repeatedly from the decent pace, your tongue continues to flick against his leaky tip, relishing in the bitterly sweet pre-cum that resides against the very top. another muffled moan slips past your lips as you’re still playing with your breasts, feeling them bounce against each other in crude tandem.

“such a pretty mouth… ugh,” he tightens his grip against your hair, thrusting his hips into you a bit. you break your hands away from your tits to latch onto his thighs. immensely, your fingers dig into the cottony fabric of his sweatpants. toji starts to pant laboriously. heave after heave, you’ve got him sweating already. peeping down, his dick twitches at the sight of your spit dribbling down the corners of your pretty purses lips.

as it travels — it cascades like a waterfall, landing between the curvature of your chest. “mhm, jus’ like that. good girl. haah, ‘s good.”

as his hands rummage in your hair, it’s still maintaining its strengthening grip—you inhale through your nose as your head bounces in consistency. his fingers were still crispy cold, you’re feeling frosty all the way from the waist down.

not only were you feeling frosty though, you were throbbing..

it was no mistake. the sudden adds of multiplying throbs that pang against your pussy makes you start to whine as a hand of yours reaches between your thighs. your panties protect your slick arousal and a pout contorts against your lips as you’re still having your mouth stuffed full of ghostly cock.

“f-fuuuck, y’er fuckin’ nasty. play with y’erself while ya suck me off, do it.” he groans, it was as if he read right through your mind. toji’s breathing starts to pick up as he’s keeping strict eye contact with you. doe-eyed and all, your lashes suddenly shut close for a few seconds. toji meanly pistons his hips, and you moan as you drag your fingers against your sheathed pussy. peeling your laced panties to the side—you strum two digits against your slick entrance, starting to rut back and forth. toji snickers, ruffling the top of your head. “gonna fill this throat up with so much cum, you want that, sweets?”

abruptly, you pry your mouth away from his fattened dick before breathing in a gasp of fresh air. slyly, you hum, a hand wrapping around his hefty base. “don’t you mean with ectoplasm?”

“y’er mouth’s getting smart,” he sneers, grabbing ahold of your head before making you go back down.

toji started to get addicted to your frisky tongue. the way it’s so sloppy, slurping up every part of his fervor, he only wanted more.

he’s a ghost and well, it’s been a while..

as his dick perfectly tucks inside of your mouth, you take him even further. a clammy hand of yours starts to fondle with his balls and he groans. with his jaw tightening, he starts to feel his thigh pounce. “fuuuuck me,” he heaves lowly, knowing his finish was about to approach rather sooner than later. he was just so thick in your throat, tap-tapping away at your little uvula. toji stares at your pretty slobbering lips, your hands still crammed all up inside of your cunt before he presents a more thorough thrust into your mouth.

a familiar primal heat pools into the very depths of your tummy before you hear toji suck his teeth.

it’s a long, deep and sexy groan.

it bellows throughout the thin walls of your small apartment — his face turns sour and you start to feel a surprised guest get introduced on your tongue.

his cum tastes more sweet which was peculiar. usually it’s tastelessly bitter, bland and purely insipid.

but with him, it was sugary sweet. as he pours such volumes of satiny ropes into your mouth, your hands continue to cling onto his pants. it’s a lot, with the way the ghost’s cock erupts into your mouth it’s like a volcano. spitting out such gooey sums of seed. its warmth has you wanting more, as it fills the very inside of your mouth, your tongue swirls all around the savory uncanny mixture.

toji yokes your head back, taking his heavyset dick out of your mouth and you gawk at how red it was now. from the very top, a smile stretches against your lips knowing you did that. swollen, fat balls of his were all in your face, neglected and just desperate to be played with a bit more.

“shit,” he sighs, taking a moment to breathe. toji looks down at your dumb expression, more smug than anything. a hand of his cups underneath your chin before he bends down, pulling you into a deep kiss. again, you return the favor, glissading your tongue against his. it tickles and tangos together, enjoying each other’s wet company. he grunts, reveling in the sweetened taste of his own cum that’s just residing inside your mouth. no shame, no shame at all. the kiss was much sloppier this time—toji pulls away to lick near the corner of your lips, capturing a few remnants of his own seed that tries to stream down from your mouth and below toward your chin. breaking away, he grabs your neck softly, giving you an intimating stare. “you,” the ghost murmurs, his eyes flickering towards your bed. “i wanna break you.”

“you’ll have to pay for that you kn-”

“don’t make me drag you, human.”

you let off a soft playful ‘oof’ once you’re faintly tossed on your own bed. his strength was out of this world— quite literally though,

you look at toji and he inches himself closer towards you. as he leans in for another warm kiss, his body presses up against yours. he starts to grind against you, the friction leaves a wave of fuzz in your ears that never seems to go away. cold glacial lips squashing against your own as you flick your tongue against his, moaning for more. as he’s claiming your mouth in such a rough way, you start to paw at his pants. you feel a simper tug against his lips as he makes out with you, feeling the weight of the bed collapse and shriek a bit in ponderous discomfort.

“taste so good,” he grouses, withdrawing his lips to nip chaste kisses near your neck. you moan, feeling him prop between your thighs. he then licks all against the hidden crevices of your collarbone. “ever fucked a ghost before?”

“usually i’m more into humans,” you pant, and he gives you a subtle eye roll. if you knew a ghost such as toji would look this good — perhaps you’d summon him a long time ago on that stupid link.

“really, oh,” he plays along, prying your legs open a bit to take a quick peek at what he was about to destroy. with low hooded eyes, toji grunts as he sees your soaked pussy all open and on display for him. a padded thumb of his runs down your puffy slit and your legs twitch slightly as a greeting response. “mhm, such a pretty cunt. tell me though,” he huffs, enveloping all five digits around his cock to give it two single pumps. he prods his leaky cockhead against your entrance, watching you writhe underneath him. “before you summoned me, were ya playin’ with her?”

her as in between your legs, your pussy,

for some reason, toji addressing your cunt as her made you throb profusely. you felt it. an annoying ring screams through your ears as you slump back against your bed, your ankles making an attempt to lock around him. “n- no.”

“y- yea,” he mimicks your little stutter. your mouth drops as you feel yourself starting to gape open for him the moment he starts delve his dick into your pussy. he was so big, you feel the curve of the head and it’s just voluntarily crooking inside of you. toji gives you a side eye with misty peripherals, watching as you make an attempt to hide your face within the crack of your elbow. “nah, girl. don’t hide that pretty face from me. i wanna see you while i stretch you out.”

you moan, feeling his frigid fingers peel your arm away and he’s got a full face view of you.

already, your toes started to center with feelings of pure numbness. his thick cock splits inside of you so good that it’s already got you whimpering out elongated syllables. your voice was a euphony, “oh my g-goddd,” you whimper out, grabbing ahold of his shoulders. toji falls into your chest, still easing his way into your accepting walls. it’s relatively hot inside, smoldering gummy walls of yours entrap him, holding him hostage. he sibilates out a single hiss as you’re still trying to adjust to his massive size. his sack hangs from the base down and you let off a lusty giggle, already cockdrunk. “s-so the rumor’s true that ghosts have big dicks, f-fuck you’re gonna split me open.”

“heh, oh? that’s a fact, not a rumor,” he playfully flicks your forehead. a hand of his then clasps around your thigh. he spreads it apart, sinking into you further. he’s so deep, halfway in that your stomach’s already seizing. it was his tip that made you feel everything at once. the girth he has, he makes sure you feel every inch, every part. toji’s filling every area of your orifice with his spectral shaft. “ugh, clampin’ around me so good,” and he presses a palm against your tummy. “feel me here, yeah?”

and you do, as his hand gingerly brushes against the outer skirts of your stomach, your lips part into an ‘o’ shape of surprise. “y- yesss, fuck. ‘s deep, toji.”

“fuck,” he groans, and you let off a cute astounded, ‘oh’ once you feel him fully plug you all the way in. it’s a popping noise that you’ll never forget. heavy balls of his creates a single thrust and you jolt all the way back. clawing at the backsides of his skin, you whimper out a sweet melodic hum. “pussy’s gonna get me addicted, girl.”

your legs lock and ensnare around toji’s slim waist as he starts up a pace—he’s slow and steady at first. slow and steady wins the race, but with a dick as big as his, you’re already losing. not so much physically, at least not yet.

just a few fathomless thrusts from the ghost and you were whipped, starving for more. hungry even.

perhaps if this was some sort of dream, you didn’t wanna wake up. it all felt to real to just be your imagination anyway,

his hits against you were just so good that it was brutal. toji’s got you laid against your back so he can stare right into your eyes. he’s panting, gawking openly as he feels you bare down on him. your dense walls squeeze around him before he’s starting up a more salacious tempo. you could barely even keep up. you whine, craning your neck to the left a bit — to the right, then to the left for the umpteenth time. your legs were already shuddering, your cunt feels so stuffed of his shaft that you’re already flumped against the mattress. not even before long, it’s stares to bounce and judder from the clumps of weight on top of it. you dig your teeth into toji’s shoulder, whimpering at how he repeatedly thwacks his tip against that forbidden g-spot. “t- toji, tojiiii,” you hiccup, cross eyed and doe-eyed.

he could listen to your voice all day, a tune he could forever hum.

for the nth time within seven seconds, your pussy squelches from the parching sensations of pleasure. you’re so wet, sopping so much that you put faucets to shame. toji feels your slick trying to snail its way all the way down to his base. “that’s it, mhm. fuck against me, girl. c’mon, yeah,” he shushes up against your ear, licking against your lobe. you shiver, his voice all deep with a slight hint of rasp in it. a raw moan grabs itself from the back of your throat and you feel a hand of his snakes its way towards your jouncing tits. toji groans—leaning in to suck against your neglected nipples, feverish breath ghosting against your sweet skin before you whine. “god, you taste so mmf, good.”

as he’s still jerking his sharp hips into you at full might, his tongue swirls around your pretty nubs, savoring it. another ear splitting ‘pop’ leaves his lips each time he breaks away from your mounds. “could eat you up.”

“f- fuck, ‘s good, toji. harder p-pleaseee,” you mewl out, his weight that hovers over you sends you shivers all throughout your spine and body. strained deep inhales escape from your heavy lungs as you feel his calloused fingertips dance against your skin. a big hand of toji’s caresses alongside the curvilinear juncture of your body, your pretty physique—taking in your humanly beauty. oh, a sight for sore eyes.

toji was almost positive he was addicted to you, he’s fucking you so deep that he makes it so easy for you to jerk away from from your attentions. he even has a scent to him. despite his phantom being, his aurora alone was just enticing. its strong. the musk infiltrates the insides of your flared up nostrils and you whine again. your whine was more of a choke, clinging onto his back, scraping your nails down his tense back muscles.

“f-fuck, squeezin’ around me so good, baby,” he groans, leafy eyes staring into yours the entire time. toji leans in to nip kisses everywhere on your face, near your neck, and right back to your chest again. your body, he could get used to this,

to you.

maybe humans weren’t all that bad,

toji’s hips were rude, the perfect way to describe it. it really knew no bounds, he knew no bounds.

your glossy eyes glance up at him and he’s got nothing but a sly smirk plastered on his face. you study his features as he’s plowing you deeply into your own bed—the bed creeks and creeks that it sounds like it’s hanging onto his final hinges.

as you’re gazing into his features, the first thing you notice was that scar.

he’s got a slanting, slashing scar that runs down near the right side of his mouth. surprisingly, it makes him ten times more attractive than he already was. as you’re trapped in your own thoughts again, he moves his face closer to you to kiss an alluring slope down the side of your neck. just a few minutes with you and he was already memorizing each particular spot of yours.

an adorable lewd expression marinated against your features as your pussy continues to slosh and squeak against his thickened cock. he’s so big inside of you, your tummy ends up extending a bit from his angles he’s hitting. toji never misses a spot though, he’s a precise man, a precise ghost,

you’re left stupid with your tongue visibly lolling out. he can’t help but chuckle.

“look at that tongue, mhm,” and he takes the opportunity to suck against the limp muscle. you whine, hugging his beefy body tightly as you suddenly feel agitated with the pure feeling of your arousal. pretty soon, you were getting close.

he was too—he could feel it, warm bodies against each other, he was gonna lose it.

toji’s mouth goes against your neck, exposing his pearly whites and he bares a single fang. he buries it into the crook of your neck again, adam’s apple bobbing out from each guttural moan that detaches from him.

“f-fuck fuck,” you sob out, your ankles securely locking around his hips as he’s making more haste. you let off a tiny whine, his teeth gently nibbling against your flavorsome flesh. you tasted so sweet, he craved you. crimson lips of his twitch before he pulls you into another kiss. this time, it’s more passionate. as his tongue explores the very depths of your mouth, his tempo was now relentless. flimsy arms of yours continue to flop due to your weak grip against his wide shoulders before he gently bites your bottom lip. “inside,” you huff, licking the edge of his scar. a faint purr comes from toji once you do that and it’s a bit cute. “wanna feel you from the inside.”

“careful,” he groans into your neck, pressing a palm onto your tummy again. “you might get possessed after this.”

you pause, giving him a furrowed eyebrow look and he only sneers at you.

“joking, ghost cum ‘s harmless, baby. i think..”

he was nothing but a mere tease, you roll your eyes before you babble over and over in his ear for him to shoot inside of you. with ease, he’s emitting out all kinds of moans from you. you’re so loud, he’s got sensitive ears so it makes his ears twitch. your voice though, he’s so drawn in to hearing every little whine that departures from the backs of your precious throat.

welts of pleasure surge through your body as your chest recoils against his. gnawing down on your lip, you spasm once it finally approaches.

it’s a wave, pouring into you all at once. the crash was unexpected. expect the unexpected, they say.

your legs felt zealously numb, your eyes dramatically roll back as your high finally comes. it’s so much, you could still feel your cunt gaping. a whiney grunt cuts out of your throat before a squeal shortly follows. waves and waves of pleasure make way for you, pupils twinkling with stars, you were experiencing pure ecstasy.

shortly afterward, toji’s comes and when he cums, it’s a lot. he spurts into you in volumes, it dumps into you so good that you’re left twitching. suddenly, you grow quiet from the way his palm swats over your mouth. “listen to it with me. saved so much for you.”

and his words were slow, his breaths were slow, everything was ploddingly slow.

you don’t think you’ve ever felt more full in your life, your cunt constricts one more time around his length before you let off a dry whimper. “mmm,” you inhale a candied breath, he’s still buried balls deep. his hilt thrashes against your sodden entrance gently before he pulls out, staring at the mess. such goopy amounts of cum pour out of your slit, he brings two fingers to peel back against your sloppy folds. you’re covering him with your slick, viridescent eyes of his peer down to see the head of his cock still oozing out with gluey white masses of seed. “toji..”

“atta girl,” he whispers, hearing the little falter in your voice.

so cute,

he’s filled you up to the brim and that was only just the beginning. “i know. i kn—” and he pauses, being cut off as he feels you bedaub his sensitive tip against your greedy cunt. you move it against your opening slit, watching as it tries to swallow it hole before you pull it back outs you’re still oozing and his eyes flicker to white for a second. “fuuuck, ‘m still sensitive girl.” and he’s the one to let off a whine this time. toji’s weight still hangs against you before you drag him into a kiss while hearing his deprived whimpers feed into your mouth. jet black strands of his tickle against your forehead as he grinds his hips against you, already weak for you. the epitome of pussy drunk. whatever spell you had, he wanted to know what it was. perhaps your pussy was a curse he wasn’t aware of.

your taste was just too tasteful. with the way you linger on his tongue like a treat, he only wanted more. toji pulls away after a while, shaft still halfway into you—idle, not moving a single inch. he’s buried but remains still. a shimmery concoction of spit leaves each lips and toji pants as your lips stray away from his. toji’s lungs feel like they were on fire, each breath he takes feels like it’s being snatched away.

“you,” he exhales, a thumb curling underneath your chin. with a needy look, the ghost’s confidence throws itself out the window and his bottom lip quavers a bit. he pants, making you switch positions and he pats his lap, pouting. “you, on top of me. i- i want more of you. please.”

[fizzing-imagines]

Teenage Pregnancy Series | Billy Hargrove x Reader

Notes: Billy does not get taken by the mindflayer in this one, aka he gets a happy ending. Please read the note about this series

Warnings: Mention of divorce, teenage pregnancy, premature birth

Word Count: 3.8k

Your dad didn't mess around when it came to you.

Once you told Billy that you were pregnant with his child, he was gone. Out of fear for his reaction, you didn't tell him for a whole month, and once you did he left. No phonecall, no visit, nothing. He wasn't even at school.

After a week, your father was fed up and drove over. You were his little girl, his everything, and he couldn't stand to see you cry every day. Neil greeted him at the door, God knows he couldn't stand him, with a gruff "Yes?"

"Good afternoon Mr. Hargrove. I was looking for William." Your dad never called your boyfriend by his nickname. Neither of you knew why, he just didn't. Maybe it was part of his army veteran exterior. "What's he gotten himself into now?" Your father knew about Neil, and how he treated Billy. If anyone was going to beat him up for how he's treating you, it would be him. "I'm planning a birthday surprise for (Y/N) and I wanted to include him."

Neil let him in the house, where he strutted into Billy's room. Without a knock, he swung the door open and then closed it behind him again, to not let Neil know what was going on. Billy was laying on his bed, smoking and starring at one of the posters on his wall when your dad grabbed him by the collar and held him against the wall.

"Son.", he started. "And I call you son because I have never treated you like less than a son. I don't know who you think you are, abandoning my daughter but you're coming with me right this second to apologise."

It all happened so fast that Billy was starring at him like a deer in headlights. Your dad wouldn't hurt him, he knew that much, but he also didn't expect this kind of confrontation. "My child is two months pregnant with your child. No matter how unfortunate the circumstances are, it's also your responsibility." Billy knew your father was right. He didn't want to disappear like his mother did, but he was scared to turn out like his father. But he would never admit that to your father.

"Right.", he simply said.

"So we're driving over now. And flowers are just a nice extra to a lengthy apology, don't you think?"

"Yes, sir."

20 minutes later, you heard your father pull into the driveway. You just finished crying for the countless number of times this week when the door unlocked. "Hey dad.", you said as you turned around the corner, just to see not only your father but also Billy with a big bouquet of flowers in his hands. "Got someone for you.", your father said while walking over. He placed a kiss on your forehead and whispered "Dig your heels in." to you before walking into the backyard.

"(Y/N).", Billy said quietly. You silently stepped up to him, to which he gave you the flowers. "Thank you.", you whispered. Of course he'd get your favourites, although you were never sure if he even remember which ones you liked best. "I'm...really sorry..." Immediately, you started crying again. This felt surreal to you. "Why?" was all you could sob under your tears. Something rare happened, something you'd deem extraordinary: Billy started crying. He never cries. "I'm scared.", he admitted. You quickly put the flowers down and pulled him into a hug. "I don't wanna end up like my asshole father." Emotions poured out of him. Honestly, it overwhelmed you a bit. Between him disappearing and not knowing if there would be a father for your child, him letting his emotions out was a lot. "I didn't mean to, (Y/N), I'm sorry." You held him through his tears, whispering that it was all going to be fine, that he won't have to do it alone. Billy was scared. But he'd be more scared of loosing you.

"We'll manage, okay?", you said after a while. By now, you were laying on the couch, Billy between your legs with his head on your chest. "We'll manage, no matter what. No Neil, no shitty family. We'll have our own." He was tired from crying and only let out a small hum in response. His hand found yours and intertwined with it. "I'll never leave you again, I promise.", he mumbled after a while before kissing the back of your hand. Despite the pain he caused this week, you were happy to have him back. To hold him again, and to be so vulnerable with him. "Do you wanna see it?", you finally asked. Your boyfriend looked up at you. "See what?"

"The baby."

Billy raised his head with a look that showed that he was thinking of what to reply. Finally, he said. "Yes." Both of you got up to walk into the kitchen, where your father has put the sonograms on the fridge like a proud grandpa. You took them down and handed it to him. "Baby was 5 weeks in this one.", you explained as you pointed at the first one. Honestly, there was nothing more but a small white dot. It didn't look like anything, but both of you knew that. "And this one is from two days ago, so we're at 9 weeks." It was much more visible in the second one. You could point out their tiny arms and legs, but especially the head. "Really photogenic, always lays perfectly to point everything out." The joke went over Billy's head since he could stop starring at the picture. That was his baby, in his girlfriends stomach, that he made with her. Billy couldn't help but immediately fall in love with the small life he created. He pulled you into his side and kissed the top of your head. "That's out baby."

"Yeah, that's ours."

"I think we'd all agree that it's best if Billy moves in with us.", your dad said during dinner one night. Billy was over every day now, not wanting to leave your side if he didn't have to. But those words caught him off guard. He looked at your dad, then you, then back to your dad. "Are you serious?" He started grinning, a rare sight to your dad. "You'll be 18 soon, no? Neil can't stop you then." Your boyfriend was in deep thought for a good while, before your dad added "You'll wanna live with your child. As long as one of you gets a job, you can live here rent-free." It was moments like these that showed your father's no-bullshit policy. He was a very honest and direct man, and it showed right now. "You're right. That would be great, honestly." Billy smiled at your father. "Thank you, sir." Your father gave him a nod of recognition before continuing to eat.

"Two more months, then.", you said to Billy that night as you laid in bed. His fingers were tracing along your stomach, feeling the slight curve the baby in your stomach was making. "You have no idea how much I want to get out of that shithole.", Billy said, still touching your belly. "I'm not just imagining the bump, am I?" You laughed a bit. "No, it's there. Although, tiny. He or she doesn't seem to like the attention of a baby bump." Billy looked down at you with a small smile before leaning into a kiss. He made sure to pour all the love and care he had for you and your baby into it, and it worked; you felt like you were floating. "I love you.", you whispered against his lips once you separated. His arms snaked around your waist and pulled you on top of him. "I love you, too."

Both of you remained quiet for a while, enjoying each others warmth. You started feeling sleepy and closed your eyes, until Billy asked you a question. "Do you wanna know if it's a boy or a girl?" That wasn't something you thought about yet, so you started thinking. "I don't know. What about you." He bit the inside of his cheek while thinking. "I don't wanna know. I'd be scared a boy would turn out like me, and I don't want to ruin your pregnancy." A soft smile spread on your face and you leaned fowars to give him a quick kiss on his cheek. "Alright. It'll be a surprise. But we gotta pick out names for both."

"Julia for a girl.", Billy said in a heartbeat. Julia was his mother, who he told you so much about.

"Julia for a girl.", you agreed.

"Billy.", you mumbled as you woke up. It was three in the morning and you craved nothing more than some icecream and coke right now. "Billy, baby.", you continued until he finally woke up. "What?", he groaned while rubbing his eyes. "I want icecream.", you said while playing with his hair. He turned his head to look at the clock on your nightstand. "It's three in the morning.", Billy complained before turning back around, trying to fall asleep again. "Please.", you whined as you shook his shoulders lightly. "I'm scared of the dark, Billy." Your boyfriend groaned again before sitting up. "Okay, let's get you your icecream."

He watched you eat your chocolate chip mint icecream and gulping down three cans of coke while leaning against the kitchen counter. "You happy?", he whispered to not wake up your father. You nodded your head with a wide grin, and that made it all worth it for him. The baby bump was growing bigger each day and now, at it was undeniable even while you wore his shirts. Billy saw the life you two made growing in you each day, and it made him finally feel like he had a role in life.

"But you're brushing your teeth again after this.", he whispered after a while. You simply nodded while shoving another spoonful of icecream in your mouth. As you finished the third can of coke, he already got you another one from the fridge. "You're the best boyfriend ever.", you whispering after he set it down next to you. Those words made him feel so warm inside, so much so that he leaned foward to kiss the tip of your nose.

"Even with icecream smeared around your mouth, you're still the sexiest woman on this earth.", he rasped in your ear. It send a shiver down your spine. He whiped the sticky residue from your mouth while you put the icecream down. "I think I'm craving something else now.", you whispered.

Never have you seen Billy put away food and dishes as fast as he did right now.

Billy had to be honest to himself, he didn't mind that your second trimester made you horny and energetic. Especially now that he finally moved in the moment he turned 18 and had you to himself all day, he was enjoying your company. And even more when it was the weekend and your father was at work.

"Oh fuck, Billy! Shit!", you moaned loudly for the third time this day. Billy was buried inside you all the way, filling you up like he'd be able to impregnate you again and doing his best so you could find your release. Your legs wrapped around his waist to keep him in place while you came down from your high. "Fuck, Billy...", you groaned. He slowly pulled out of you and laid down on the spot next to your body, where he pulled you up to him. "You feel incredible.", he mumbled into your hair. You were so glad that he matched your newfound libido. Billy pulled the blanket over both of you so you wouldn't get too cold.

"You okay, baby?", he asked while running his fingers over your spine. With a small nod, you hid your face in his neck and savoured the way he smelled. It became your favourite scent over the last few weeks. "I'm so happy it's the weekend, I wouldn't survive a schoolday with you around." Billy chuckled a bit before kissing the top of your head. "The showers are free most of the time.", he reminded you.

"I know, that might be how we ended up here."

"You really want to walk the stage waddling like a cow?", one of the basketball players asked you while you were showing Chrissy the graduation dress you wanted in a magazine. Not only yours and Chrissy's, but also Billy's head shot up. If there's one thing he would tolerate the least, it's anyone disrespecting you. "What the fuck did you just say?", he asked in an aggressive tone. His fellow teammate started stuttering his words, knowing he royally fucked up, but it was too late. Billy already got up and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Say that again." Peoppe from other tables were looking already, just waiting for Billy to get violent. "Fucking say that again.", he repeated. You felt anxiety rise in you; you didn't want him to hurt someone else because of you. "Billy, stop.", you said while standing up yourself. He glanced over at you, visibly pregnant with his baby. And then he remember what he told you: He didn't want to be like his dad. So, he let go of his teammates collar and walked back over to you. "Come on, I need a breather." Your boyfriend took your hand and walked outside with you.

"I'm proud of you, Billy.", you said as soon as both of you were alone on a bench. "I know it's hard for you to controll yourself." His arm wrapped around your shoulder and pulled you into his side. "I made a promise, to you and our kid." He can't admit this in public, but your words made him so happy. Honestly, he can't remember the last time someone told them their proud of him. But he did whisper a "Thank you." to you.

Billy pulled you on the couch to cuddle as soon as both of you came home. At 27 weeks, finding the right position became hard, but he somehow made it work. "You're a softie, Billy.", you giggled while putting your head on his chest. His heartbeat was calm, but it was your favourite sound. "Only for you.", he replied whole stroking through your hair. Your hair kept falling out for the past few weeks, but he didn't care about that. It was part of carrying his baby, and he was grateful for all the work you put in. "One more trimester.", he then said after a while. His hands found your belly and caressed it carefully. The baby's response was a kick, and Billy was ecstatic. "They kicked.", he commented with a smile. And they kept kicking for a good while before calming down. "They usually kick when you're being a soft baby.", you grinned at him, to which he scoffed lightly. As a response, you stretched your neck to kiss him on the cheek. "We like it, Billy. A lot. And I feel very honoured that only we get to see you like this." Billy didn't like admitting to it out loud, but there was no denying that you were his only soft spot. "It's a secret.", he mumbled.

"Of course, baby."

"We can't really put everything where it belongs yet.", you said as you unwrapped the fresh paintbrush. "But we can paint the walls, and at least build the furniture."

One out of two guest rooms was the designated nursery for the little one. Since you two decided to not find out the gender before the baby is born, there was no princess or dinosaur theme to do. But Billy wanted to include some beach elements for decorations, and paint the walls a sandy yellow. "You're not building anything, I'm doing that." He barely let you carry your books to school. But now that you both finished your last finals, there was a lot of time to put up the nursery. The guest bed had to stay until after your graduation since your mother and sisters would come to Hawkins for your graduation. Honestly, you didn't want them there - especially your mother always had a reason to complain. Now that you were 18 and pregnant, she had even more to bitch about. Plus, your sisters are just like her. That's why they stayed with her after the divorce and you moved with your dad.

"You're gonna have fun with my family, they're a bunch of cunts.", you said while giving the paint a stirr. "Not something I'm not used to.", he commented while covering the furniture he pushed into the middle of the room with a plastic cover. "You haven't had my sisters hit on you yet.", You watched him cover the bed and nightstand while speaking. "They can try all they want, you're the only one I want." Billy helped you stand up from the ground, then kissed your forehead. "I know. But they're just...something."

He put his hands on your bump, feeling the small kicks from that the baby was doing. "They didn't give me a roof over my head, or a child. They can get fucked."

"You look beautiful.", Billy said as he pulled you closer to him. The bump was big and round, making it impossible for Billy to pull you to him completely. Kicks hit his own stomach as your baby was kicking up a storm in you. "See, he or she agrees." Both of you laughed, you a bit more than him. "Thank you, Billy."

Both of you went downstairs to meet the others; your father, mother and two younger sisters. While your father gave you a rare smile, the other three looked less than pleased. As much as you didn't like them, it still hurt that they couldn't at least retend to be happy for one day. But that didn't matter that much while watching your dad fuzz over having to take pictures of you and Billy. Once he was done, you went to grab your gowns and Billy walked into the kitchen to fill your watter bottles. The constant dryness in your mouth was the most uncomfortable side effect, especially when you'd have to sit through a whole graduation ceremony. To Billy's misfortune, the older one of your siblings followed him into the kitchen.

"You're really doing a lot for her.", your sister said as she leaned against the kitchen counter next to Billy. He let out a gruff hum, not looking up once from the bottles he was filling. "Don't you think you deserve a little break with some fun?" She leaned forward, showing of as much cleavage as her dress let her show while dragging her pointer finger across his biceps.

"Touch me again and I'll break your fingers.", Billy threatened in a calm tone, still not looking up before leaving the kitchen with your water. But he didn't let it affect your incredibly good mood, plus he didn't plan on telling you in the near future. "You ready?", you asked with a wide smile. That smile made it all worth it.

"More than ready.", he replied before kissing you in front of your sisters.

Both of you finished up the nursery the second your mother and siblings left. It was pretty neutral, but the nursery mobile was ocean themed and some artwork on the walls depicted the ocean. Plus, a bunch of books Billy bought for the kid were about aquatic life and the ocean. You put up all the sonograms that were taken over the last few months, framed and everything. The nursery looked so beautiful.

And your baby thought the same.

Suddenly, you felt your pants getting wet. You looked down in shock and it took a while for your brain to puzzle together what was happening. "Billy, my water broke...", you said with a quiet voice. He looked over with a confused look. "What?"

"My water broke."

This wasn't supposed to happen, you weren't full-term yet. 34 weeks was too early. "Can you take me to the hospital? Please?", you sobbed. You felt like a small child, unable to controll your emotions and needing guidance from anyone else but you. But your boyfriend didn't waste any time to get you and your hospital bag in the car before driving you to the hospital, although way above the speed limit. It didn't matter to you.

Nothing did, except your baby being okay.

The birth was awful. You were in excruciating pain, and ended up having to get a C-Section because your baby was in breach. They were brought into the NICU while you were recovering in your room. While you were stable, Billy was scared. Scared of loosing you, or your child, or even both of you. But at least one of those fears washed away when you woke up. "(Y/N).", he husked in relief once your eyes fluttered open. His hand found yours and held it carefully while stroking the back of it.

"Hey.", you whispered as you looked at him through your blurry vision. "Baby's okay. She's in the NICU." The pronoun he used struck you. "She?", you asked. Honestly, you were sad that you weren't even awake to find out the gender. "Our little Julia.", he said with a smile. It was such a distinct, different smile. You've seen him happy, but never this happy. "Can I see her?", you asked. He kissed the top of your head before saying: "Once you're better, we can go see her all day."

"I can't wait."

"Stay in bed, I got it.", Billy mumbled while getting up to check on the baby. You were still recovering from giving birth, but both you and Julia were home from the hospital now. He was very attentive with both you and your daughter, and he didn't want you to overwork yourself. He had you in bed or on the couch most days, and carefully watched your every move when you were walking around. You could hear Billy calming your daughters crying, followed by footsteps walking to your shared bedroom. "Look who's here, Julia.", Billy cooed at his daughter while walking over to your bed. Julia was placed securely in your arms, where she looked at you quietly. She was tiny due to being born as a late preemie, but she pushed through and was now home with you. There was not a single doubt in your mind that you'll both love her forever.

"She's such a quiet baby, I'm worried.", you admitted to Billy. "I mean, she was born early. What if she's hard of hearing or something?" Your boyfriend sat down at the edge of the bed next to you. "Then we'll go through it as a family. No matter what." His fingers ran over her head, where she had a good amount of blonde curls already.

"Both of you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I'll be here for everything."

[badmuni]

enhypen x-ray 🔍

★ . ꜝꜞ ᳝ ࣪ ( the way they communicate with their s/o ) ☁️ׂ ʬʬ

₍⁠₍ 김선우 ₎⁠₎ sunoo

“how was your day?” “tell me everything.”

sunoo is incredibly interested and wants to know everything about his s/o's life, even the bad outcomes.

“did you have dinner already?” “please don't skip any meals !”

sunoo is constantly concerned with their wellbeing and health. he pays attention to these details since he is aware that some people are careless with food and he doesn't want his partner to be.

“you can count on me, baby. i love you. i love you so much i can't even breath”

he likes to show his affection for them sometimes even sounding a little dramatic, but that's just how he want it to be. sunoo enjoys expressing his emotions, which usually results in him sending them lengthy (romantic) texts. or placing calls...

₍⁠₍ 西村力 ₎⁠₎ ni-ki

“did you miss me? don't lie, i know you missed me.”

riki is cute and provocative all at once, and he enjoys receiving special treatment from his lover. he just acts like that every time he visits them.

“i wanna go out with you again, baby.”

riki enjoys spending time with his s/o. he likes taking them on adventures and to new places because it makes him the happiest. also, because he likes adrenaline (way too much).

“i bought something to you... it's surprise so i'm not going to reveal what it is, but try to guess it.”

riki (often) spends his money buying things to his s/o. sometimes a plushie or maybe a T-shirt that says “i love my boyfriend” with a lil pic of him in it (thats so corny lol). or sometimes a jewelry, rings, bracelets, necklaces. he totally spoils his s/o in his own way.

₍⁠₍ 심재윤 ₎⁠₎ jake

“darling, do you think this looks good?”

always asking his s/o opinions on things, doesn't really matter the topic, jake will wants to hear their thoughts on it because he has a lot of faith in their taste.

“i woke up, tidied up the room because yk jay slaves me, so i went out to work, then i came home, but it was too late so i went to dinner [...]”

jake is very open with his s/o, telling them everything, since he thinks it's cool to do so. as he appreciates having a strong link with them, he believes that doing this brings them even closer together.

“BABY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED”

he just CAN'T be privy to a gossip; he'll quickly relay it to his partner. as soon as he knows something, he just goes there and tells them about it. jake just can't keep secrets from his partner...

₍⁠₍ 양정원 ₎⁠₎ jungwon

“i dreamed about you last night... it was pretty clingy but i like it”

jungwon thinks about his s/o constantly, even when he's sleeping... :( and he makes clear they are aware about it.

“how are you feeling today, darling?”

wonnie is very sensitive to the feelings of his s/o and appreciates that they keep him informed of their concerns and feelings throughout the day.

“better you be careful, i'm going to kidnap you tonight😼”

unplanned little walks through the city at night is something wonnie enjoys doing with his lover in order to easy his mind and feel peaceful.

₍⁠₍ 이희승 ₎⁠₎ heeseung

“i wish you were here...”

many times, as an introvert, heeseung just wants to escape from social events. but tbh, he thinks that if his s/o were around, the whole experience would be better for him.

“i was counting the minutes and seconds to see you”

heeseung is sweet most of the time, and plus, he's very good using words. he also can't just get away from someone he loves so much for too long or he starts to get crazy.

“oh- you want water, baby? don't worry, i got you!”

man simply don't miss a single opportunity to please his partner or just do things for them. they want or need something? heeseung is there doing for them.

₍⁠₍ 박성훈 ₎⁠₎ sunghoon

“you have such a good taste...”

“oh- why do you have a good taste? because you date me, tsk”

hoon is constantly valuing himself, almost as though he enjoys pampering. so he expects his s/o to agree with him that he's a handsome man.

“you look so good today. actually you look good everyday... you're the prettiest, baby”

never disappointing, sunghoon wants his s/o to be always confident about themselves just like he is, so he often compliments them.

“are you feeling good? wants to do something else?”

when he and his s/o goes out, hoon worries if they're enjoying what they're doing. if the crowd seems too loud, sunghoon quickly wants to take his partner from there. he values have a good atmosphere around him and his partner, that's why he gets worried.

₍⁠₍ 박종성 ₎⁠₎ jay

“did you know productivity is a concept created by the capitalism?”

jay is such a nerdy and that's something not much talked about. he is always discovering new things and randomly telling his s/o about it. jay absolutely adores debating, too.

“your eyes are so pretty. for real, the prettiest eyes i've ever seen. they shine with the sunlight... i don't wanna stop look at them.”

also, jay is always noticing every detail about his s/o. be it about their physical characteristics or personality.

“bought this for you since last week i heard you say you wanted this.”

jay literally remembers every last information since he likes to make his partner feel special. jay demonstrates his love by being a devoted person, as you can tell from the bottom of his heart.

# masterlist

[ ★ ] — notes: hey guys, i just created this new thing 'enhypen x-ray' where i'll make posts like this about their acts and behavior.

thank u for reading ! and let me know if you like it :)

© badmuni, 2023

[sk3tch404]

Late Night Hanma Blurb

A/n: Thought abt this during an itty-bitty road trip today. Smoker Hanma does smth to the chemicals in my brain. Forgive me for any lengthy bad writing. I've had a long day and I just wanna yip yap about one of my fav crazies 🙇

CW: Hanma can give two shits about your lung health but chooses not to when he feels like it, intimidation, threats of forced drug usage, sometimes forced participation in violent activities, thoughts of lovers suicide/murder(?), and whatever other yappin I put in here.

Hanma who smokes a fuck ton and doesn't mind giving you the good ol' second-hand effects of it, but absolutely detests you doing it on your own.

He snatches the stick from your mouth and holds it up and away from you with a small grit in his teeth. Hanma glares down in some curiosity but clearly squints in irritation.

"The hell is this? Don't tell me I'm being a bad influence on you now. If I catch you with one of these again, I won't let you off the hook so easily. You got it, Y/n?"

When you retort, telling him it's no different from when he does it and it is your own choice whether he likes it or not, he merely scoffs with a tilt of his narrow head. Throwing down the cigarette, the sound of his sneaker stomping and scraping it out against the pavement echos through the air with an annoying presence. Shuji demands the rest of your stash with a looming stare that can only put you into a state of sinking discimfort.

"Come on, don't be stubborn. Ya know, if you wanna do it so bad, why don't you try the whole pack? Mine too since it's a shitload better than that cheap stuff."

Reluctant on suffocation and early lung cancer, you begrudgingly hand over your smokes to him. Hanma smacks down on the box with an evidently loud shot of noise and slides it out of your palm--- pocketing it. He stretches out narrow smile as he leans down towards you.

"See, now it ain't so hard to listen."

He's still ticked off by the fact you think you can do whatever to your body without his permission, but since Shuji is so generous, he'll let you learn from your mistakes. See, he can be nice.

Don't test him though. Next time you're caught defying his selfish wishes, he's beating you down with degrading language and probably also beating whoever was involved. The convenience store employee that sold you the cigs, vape, or maybe even chewing tobacco? Yeah he's taking out his held back frustration on them. Bro is jumping over the counter and tearing their shit up.

Avoiding him because of his brutal and honest-to-God psychopathic personality? Now that's just cruel. Shuji is dragging your ass by the back of your shirt and pushes you to his motorcycle. The leopard print on the back of the bike makes you wanna barf every time you see it, but you got to keep it down if you wanna have enough energy to deal with him. He'll take you out no matter where you are at in that point of time and make you remember who he is; who you think you're messing with.

"Y/n, how many times do I have to tell you? Aim for the nose. That's easy for amateurs like you. Actually, lemme show you how to really deliver a jaw breaker-"

Yeah, he'll show you just how bad it can get with some random thugs on the street. You should be grateful with how gentle he's treating you. Instead of ending up with facial fractures, you have nice dates and thoughtful gifts. He's even teaching you a few tricks. How lucky can you get?

"I'm all done. Shit, I'm starved. Let's go grab a bite to eat, kay?"

Hanma thinks the only way you'll ever keep paying attention to him is if he keeps you and your actions in line. If you go off doing your own thing, his usually unmoving heart can't just stand there and watch you slowly leave him. Despite the negativity be brings into your life, he actually gets really fuckin anxious when he doesn't know or understand what you're doing. It's so troublesome how you make him feel. Yeah, being bored as shit is bad, but seeing you, the only thing that could ever bring him down to his knees unwillingly, slip away with nothing but disdain for him? Fuck no. He won't accept it. Shuji would rather kill you and then himself than have to bear the strange feeling of pain, or what other people call heartbreak, by his lonesome self.

Should he ever say he loves you, that would be the point of no return for the both of you. His hands have you tight in his clutches. No way out, no way back in for anyone else.

[hawkssluvr]

nothing... just thinking about how much of a little shit rody soul is. what a meanie!!

"what's wrong princess?" he stupidly asks, although the question is intended to be rhetorical because he knows your answer. why would he not? after all he's the one making you quiver on his thick cock, thrusting furiously into you like you're just a mere fleshlight in his eyes.

it's felt like ages since you two had begun your ministries, perhaps begging for him to be inside you wasn''t the smartest idea. but who could blame you? rody had riled you up all day, spouting snarky pissy comments whenever he wished. teasing you non-stop about stupid things you usually wouldn't care for, but today just pushed you way over the edge. all the pesky remarks and oh how the word princess or baby disgustingly rolled of his tongue, followed by that one cocky smirk. it made your blood boil with naked rage. and sadly your pussy throb just as much.

"please- jus' wanna cum!-" you plead, the faint tears welling up in your eyes from the desperation that rang throughout your body. the auburn haired man had mercilessly been edging you for who knows how long. all because he can. as soon as your pretty hips began to twitch and your walls began to satisfyingly clench down on him, even though it pained him to do so, he'd pull out from your sloppy cunt immediately. chuckling to himself about how needy and pathetic you look writhing for more beneath him

a click of his teeth followed your demand, indirectly telling you he wasn't going to let you have it so easily. why would he? "really? what was that baby?, couldn't hah- hear ya" he teases, the pacing of his hips morphing into one that is much more unreliable and disorganized. the messy and rickety bed bounces slightly under you from the force of his hips. you lean your head backwards while a breathy gasp echoes through your body, the sharp pain of overstimulation slowly getting masked by the sweet bliss his lengthy cock gave you. your legs wrap around his skinny waist, hooking him in even tighter than before. making a cheeky laugh vibrate throughout his body.

"tch, c'mon now pretty girl finish your sentence f'me, what did ya need now?" he grunts, grabbing your hips and angling them in a way where he was sure to hit that one spongey spot that made you squirm and yelp with ease. incoherently you mumble something that you yourself couldn't even figure out what you were trying to say. your mind was all fuzzy and only one thing was on your mind. and that was to cum. you needed to cum so badly. your clit felt so neglected and sensitive at the same time that you were sure if you got edged one more time, you were bound to break.

luckily rody slaps your thigh warningly, not harshly of course. he'd never hurt you. but it was hard enough to wake you up from your dizzied mind for a moment, he leans in, his hips bucking into you a little bit deeper and more rhythmic now. "nope- y'know better than that angel, ask again properly, and don't make me ask you again." that last part of his sentence making your clit throb with anticipation. you could tell he was getting closer to his own limit, and he needed you to finish before he could. it was only right after all. "rody! please I-I just n-need to cum- need gah- more~" you cry out desperately.

you plead with his name so perfectly, that his cock starts to twitch, aching for his release. as a result he starts rapidly hammering into you, some shaky groans now leaving his lips. his grey eyes glared down at yours, a smug smirk creeping onto his lips as brainless sentences started to flow out of his mouth. "anything hah- for you m'lady, s-so fuckin' pretty crying out my name like that. you like t-that? y'like me ruining this pathetic pussy. shit- I'll give it to my baby don't worry" his calloused fingers now reach towards your attention less clit, hurriedly rubbing off shaped circles all over, fighting his own urge to just shoot his load right into you right then and there.

"mphh rody!- baby- s'too much!~" you cry out, thighs trembling from all the built up pleasure. "shh, take it. just make ngh- a fuckin' mess on this cock baby." he grunts, the harsh clamping of your walls taking him by surprise as your back arches off the mattress completely. eyes shut tightly as incoherent pleas leave your burning lips. your ears rang viciously from the intensity of your orgasm and it felt like you were now in your own world, too fucked out to come back to reality any time soon. and damn did you look so gorgeous like that, in such an intense state of euphoria. it made rody cum immediately at the sight. a breaky gasp leaving his lips as he thrusts into you once last time, the warm wet strings of his cum coating your lovely gummy walls. to then he collapses onto you, not even bothering to pull out yet. no- he wanted enjoy this moment. a vulnerable moment with the woman of his dreams

a/n: me and the 3 other rody fans are celebrating rn

[pridoo]

I'm really sorry if this sounds rude, but I wanna ask what do you like about the ekurei ship? I kinda thought it was just a crack ship but your comic and calendar thing looked really passionate for them- I'm sorry again for such an intrusive question, but I really want to know

Oh, I don't mind at all! I know it seems pretty funny on the outside so I understand. Buckle up though, because I'm insane <3

they hot

The easiest answer is that I've seen tons of hot fanart (mostly from Asian mp100 fandom) of Reigen getting railed by Ekubo/Dimple possessing that security guard – but I also have seen tons of art of Ekubo being a green fart cloud and their dynamics still pull my heartstrings, so it's not that simple.

"Human" Ekubo and Reigen have never even met in canon, so I know it seems silly, but there's a lot of official art from studio Bones of them interacting. I have no idea what's up with that but I'm not complaining. Seems like they are having fun.

common goal

Mob is of course the common interest for both of them. At first they both aim to exploit Mob for their own goals but learn that their shit doesn't really matter, unlike this amazing 14-year-old. Maybe it's me getting old but co-parenting/looking after the next generation is really special to me. if you read/watch the series finale, this dynamic is at the heart of the story to the very end. They learn to be better people through Mob but also share the burden of it, being "the adults" in the situation.

Their skills are also incredibly silly yet compatible. Reigen can win any argument ever and punch people and Ekubo has an unique insight on the spiritual and ordinary world, plus psychic powers. He also does sick backflips. It's a good team.

cunt4cunt

Reigen is a conman and Ekubo an evil spirit. Both of them know this truth about the other from the start, so there's no reason to pretend otherwise. Somehow this makes them incredibly casual acquintances. I think there's something incredibly special about being able to be your worst self and the other still chooses to be around you. You're awful, I'm awful, let's be awful together. They call out each other's bs but also know that they can rely on each other. Reigen always treats Ekubo as an actual person, be it shitty or casual.

They are both witty and smart but also kinda losermen because they lack some necessary qualities to become truly popular or successful, but also because the circumstances in the series are very realistic to the real world. If you fuck up majorly once, it's pretty hard to climb back. Despite this, they pull together.

better people

During the series, both of them go through a huge character development. There's something stupidly good in both of them from the start though, and it starts to show at the end of 1st season and especially during 2nd season. The catalyst for this change is of course Mob, but they also choose to become better.

It's funny to me that they both wallow in some weird self-hatred that makes them seem really narcissistic, and without Mob they would probably stay that way. They are so convinced that they are the single worst person in the world so even their good sides, like loyalty, ability be quite genuine and caring seem like flaws to them. Joke's on them, they are both lonely and sad people and actually understand something very human because of it. Do they actually reach their goals? Well, mp100 has a kind of absurdist core to it. Because nobody is special, you can make your life what you want.

TL;DR I think they are funny, kinda stupid, pretty hot, surprisingly genuine and lonely people in a lonely world. Plus: no sense of personal space.

Thanks and sorry for the lengthy essay! 🫡

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Questioning NPD, and already prof. dx'd autism and OCD culture is (lengthy and vent-ish, but not really with the latter):

📌 Carefully orchestrating this whole ask.

📌 Thinking every day about how much criteria you meet. **It's nearly all of it**, but you're still unsure if the things you've been prev. dx'd with would cancel it out or not.

📌 Stigma and misconceptions making you second-guess yourself.

📌 "-But I don't constantly or overtly seek attention/admiration..." Though I DO desire it, fantasize about seeking it, and get upset or disappointed when I don't receive what I'd like/had expected (when I do so). I'll think about it for a bit and feel a mild (?) sense of entitlement, then scoff "whatever" in my head.

I'm also afraid of people thinking I'm pathetic if I try too hard, so that's why I don't.

📌 ^ Comparing your competence in something afterwards, then being like "🤔🧙‍♂️😏" (silly ass emojis ik) when you notice that you're better or on par with whatever someone/everyone else has presented.

📌 ^ Moral OCD kicks in not long afterwards. I'll be writing a book if I elaborate.

📌 Struggling to find resources on covert presentations of NPD besides "10 signs of a covert narcissist" (it's mostly emotional abuse shit) or "the covert narcissistic mother." 🫠 Like bro please.

📌 Being afraid that by claiming you have "narcissistic traits/tendencies" and potentially learning it's all something different later that you'll seem like a fool (I feel like there's irony in this).

📌 "What if it's just C-PTSD?" (Also questioning) + "What if I suspect what could be C-PTSD is just my OCD and *some trauma.*" The fear of seeming like a fool to people (generally and those you'd seek help from) 2x.

📌 "I'm also aware of how my actions affect others sometimes, and I'm pretty self aware..."

I KNOW it's a misconception/overgeneralization that narcs 'can't have empathy' (also dude how do you think I manage how others potentially perceive me lol). I ALSO KNOW that self-aware narcs exist (like on here, hello...), but man...

A therapist once told me that I seemed too self-aware to be one as the 3 (yes) previous people they had experience with "typically only came in due to other problems like depression or perceiving others having 'the issue,' then were later diagnosed."

Self-doubt plus a lack of resources is a Bitch...

📌 That same one also used Donald Trump as an example of a narc (not that I'd disagree since I've read a bit of that one book about his family that was made by.. I think his Niece? Who's a clinical psych, but lmao...), wasn't aware of certain terms I'd bring up, and would accidentally skip questions (brought a pocket diagnostic manual with me, so I knew).

They were nice, but it made me go "hmm I think I'm more competent." Fear of being 'an arrogant fool' with that one (esp. as they've gone through schooling and I haven't.... *Yet* 😏), but seriously. Makes me teeter between whether I should just go with self diagnosis or seek out a more qualified professional (realized that one didn't specialize in pds besides BPD, so..) whenever I'm more prepared (both bringing up that fear again).

📌 OH AND BEING ASKED "Do you exploit others?..." with a waiting stare. Maybe others have no problem admitting that or other unpleasant things, BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANNA SAY THAT!!! 😭 (I actually don't - at least not harmfully or often? But still).

📌 Obsessing/having intrusive memories and thoughts about people who've rejected you, left you out, did relational bullying, and/or perceived you as somehow 'less than' and were condescending towards you. Fantasizing about either winning their approval (more of a younger me thing) or overpowering them; either directly proving them wrong/that you've actually been better than them/putting them in their place or becoming famous for something unique/grand. ALL for **Years** and it sucks because it's likely that I barely exist in their minds, and I've yet to move on.

I've yet to heal/grow from this internalized shame and whatnot in full (plus there's more I could add into it like familial shit, the compassion/thoughtfulness I've had for those people despite what I've mentioned above - like ik they've had their own issues, etc.) I mean, I have been doing better... I've noticed my own growth, but it's been a painfully slow process.

📌 My mom being like "*you're not like your dad!!*" when I talk to her about narc stuff; further feeding my self-doubt/questioning. Also yeah it's likely that my paternal side has tendencies and that my dad has NPD. Way more than me actually LOL (plus I also likely get the OCD from his side, but y'know... Lots of them are old, they're Latinos, and idk what's up w my cousins since I rarely talk to them).

- Uhhhhh can I please claim 🌀🪄?

.

[scarlibis]

Lord Oyster is really going through it, huh

He seems to be some kind of controversial topic right now, and I think he's a really interesting case! I wanna offer my two cents

! I'm NOT seeking to apologize for or defend Lord Oyster's actions, that's not what I want to do at all. I'm gonna do my best to analyze him instead, just as someone who appreciates his character for what it is, no specific side

||| SPOILERS PRESENT & Lengthy Post

◇ The common perceptions of Lord Oyster's character

One side conceives him as this big villain who's outrageously evil (or so it seems people think of him as, with this massive hate he's getting)

The other side isn't doing much better. at all. with their 'he's an angel! how can you hate him!!' claims just because he started of this story with kindness and felt remorse after his decision that ended with terrible consequences

How about considering Loyster a morally grey character?

He absolutely isn't purely good, but in no way is he purely bad either. Abalone is the villain of this story, everything he does is at the expense of others for his own personal gain. To Abalone, everyone is expendable, everyone's a tool to be used for his own success and he will do anything to achieve his goals

Seeing people compare Loyster to Abalone, or say they're similar, is. insane, to say the least . Hell, seeing him competing with Custard for most hated npc is WILD.

Lord Oyster has done good before, if you've seen the first half of the story, it'd be very clear that he cares for White Pearl! Ever since they met, they've been bonding with each other, and even towards the end, Lord Oyster harboured no hate or ill thoughts towards her. He still considered her his moon

That doesn't redeem him, though. In the end, he still made a bad decision, remember that as well as you remember the good he's done, too. I'll touch on this again later

◇ I agree, his decision was pretty ass, but let's look into it

Honestly, there appeared to be NO positive outcome in favour of everyone. A tragedy was always set to happen eventually

Had Loyster not sold the pearl to Abalone, the pearl probably would have been taken by force instead. Abalone was willing to do anything to get it

If the pearl was stolen, House Oyster would have fallen, and the mermaids still would have suffered another attack.

Abalone was always planning to return to sea and comb it for treasures that's rake in a fortune for him, with or without that pearl. He was always going to go back and attempt an attack on the mermaids again, the pearl only makes him stronger with its abilities (Cookies won't get soggy underwater, and they'll be able to breathe)

Had the pearl been kept and remained in Loyster's possession, the House would have fallen. His goals wouldn't have been achieved, it'd be over for his entire family. No one wanted to do business with them except for the Crab family, so out of desperation, he sold the pearl to Abalone, who cunningly made a 'steal of a deal' offer

◇ The hate stems from here, I'm sure

After everything, this really is not so easy to defend when you see that Loyster, even through his stressed state of mind and the burden of his House collapsing, still weighed the options.

Yes, he chose money over White Pearl's gift that she gave with love. Desperate at best, you can understand he needed this money for his whole family, not for selfish gain. But at worst, it wasn't the smartest decision. He knew what Abalone was capable of, I don't know why he was so shocked to see them go out to sea so soon after getting the pearl.

He knew what the pearl meant to White Pearl, and it was precious to himself, too

Ultimately, he chose the needs of his family instead. Which really isn't unreasonable, those are his loved ones, of course he'd want the best for them, and Abalone's offer must have seemed opportune at that time

BUT. Once again, Loyster should have taken more time than just like a minute considering the offer. Abalone gave him a chance to think about it if he needed to, and he didn't take it

*facepalms*

◇ The regret does not redeem him, however...

He can feel sorry, he should be, but that doesn't make him all good again. That doesn't fix the consequences of his decision, the one he made all on his own.

But his love and concern for White Pearl are still there, genuinely. He realises his stupid decision is aiding Abalone and his crew in a fresh attack so soon, and decides that rather than leaving it be, he needed to find her. To rescue her.

White Pearl's rightfully disgruntled, knowing the cookie who was once her sea had betrayed her, on top of everything else going on. She denies Loyster a chance to explain himself, and it's completely understandable. She's hurt and angry, her family is suffering, and Loyster is partly to blame for it. Abalone wouldn't be out so soon had he not obtained the pearl, and his power is at its peak now with the eclipse happening simultaneously

He didn't want this to happen, and he never would have wished for it. He feels remorse for what he's done, and he tries to fix it ever so slightly by going after White Pearl. That's something! It shows he does have heart, but even so, he messed up badly. Though nothing can really change that, his effort after figuring out he screwed up shows he means to be no villain.

His decision was bad, and really stupid, that's for sure, but it didn't come from a place of hatred, or greed, or pure selfishness. You understand what I'm saying here?

The main reason I made this post at all was really because the major misconceptions really bothered me (the 'he's an absolute devil' and 'oh no he's an innocent angel' takes, to be exact, because he is certainly neither of those)

Whether your opinion changes or not after reading this is purely up to you, you could have just read this for fun and that'd still be alright with me! So, that just about wraps up all my strong thoughts on Loyster so far, hope it was interesting at least

[naumin]

november updates

ok so i know november ended yesterday, i did think about titling this post december updates but i know december will be a whole different beast for me... just let me have this... it's been a really long time since i sat down and talked about all my recent projects and goings on!!!! so in case you missed what i've been up to, read on... :)

the free Laios/Marcille fanthology I organised is OUT!!! no tall towers to climb (https://naumin.itch.io/laimar) came out November 10th, and erm only 5 days later than scheduled... it's a big boy at 112 pages with contributions from 14 fans !! I had so much fun organising this and was really touched by the love and care ppl put into their works... fans are so powerful... it's free to download and read digitally or even print and bind your own copy (I am really excited to see your printed and bound copies if you have made them please dont hesitate to @ me...) I love books.. i love making books...

I don't have plans to organise a Volume II however I did start writing a post of my process to maybe help and encourage anyone else who'd like to start a project like this one. It got really lengthy though and I wasn't sure if it was helpful to anyone lol so when I have a minute I really gotta go and edit that thing down

also nobody asked me but the title is based on a poem by 12thc warrior poet Xin Qiji. i guess the tower reminded me of their dungeon misadventures hehe.

also did i mention it's FREE! !!!!!!!

7 months of subscribestar I've officially been making new posts on substar every single week since May ! It's been really fun tbh and I don't have plans of slowing down yet :) I really appreciate everyone who's visited and it makes a huge difference even just subscribing for 1 month or 2, just having that little extra to help out on months where I can't take as many commissions or I'm sick or away from home etc! You may have noticed I've added a tip jar tier ($2.5) for those who can't manage the $6 sketchbook tier... on principle I wanna make it lower but after fees it'd be zilch and I am kind of like if you have $2... maybe hold onto that. lol. maybe use that somewhere else. you can always make 1-time donations through substar or ko-fi (yeah, I have one...) my next projects...

Ballet Yuri Year One, the compilation book of one year of works on Ilze & Evangeline, whos 1st birthday was in September and I haven't had time to look at the files since October but I will look at them again soon-- last spot I left it, it was at least 30 pages... I think it will definitely be double that and could possibly be triple that (omg).

NERD SEX VOLUME III my annual NSFW sketchbook which traditionally comes out around January/February! I'm delusional that this one will be the simplest to put together and so it might be the next thing you see from me. It will be available for all subscribers as soon as it's ready. I also gotta remember to upload Nerd Sex I & II at the same time. for those who dont wanna subscribe, you can get 50% off Nerd Sex I & II in the meantime now :) also i forsee about 300% more lesbians in Nerd Sex III. It's the year of the dyke.

A collaborative NSFW anthology coming next year. This one has a longer production period to give everyone time to work and give me time to get organised lol. Hopefully you'll hear more about this one in the new year! It's for the boys and the ppl who love boys <3

the issues oh my god I've been having technical issues with my ipad the last month. I keep getting random lines and marks while drawing in procreate ! A lot of people said it could be my sweater or hand or case touching the screen while I draw but I don't think that is it, plus it's only started recently. It's not my pen and it's not my settings. it apparently COULD be a technical issue with my ipad model which would suck cuz I got this refurbished (from Apple still) so do i have like..... warranty? will they repair it for me :S? idk. I'll have to look into it though sooner or later cuz it's driving me bananas and slowing my output! AGH! I pray she heals on her own overnight. amen.

commissions I am NOT taking any new commissions in December (unless you are a $10 subscriber) but I am still doing the KISS YCH which also has a very cute wintery version up for this month only lol. same price! check it out if you wanna see your pookies under the mistletoe <3 would make a great present to you or someone u know...

alright that's all. thanks for reading my updates post. did anyone read this whole post besides me? thanks for being there for a while whilst i talked to myself before you presumably left and did something more fun and enriching. i love you.

[fanaticsnail]

Hello Snail! I adore your Writing so much and inhope you Take time to refill your cup 🥺 and i am very Happy that you have opened comissions, you deserve that your writing is amazing, don't get me wrong. 🙏🏻

I am a little confused about your requests tho. Because sometimes someone just asks you with vague Idea or a scenario and you write a full fic about it...does that count as a requests too? Or when someone asks for another character for a series Like "dreaming of you" for example. Can we No longer do that? Would that be disrespectful now?

And what about the requests you have accumulated at this point, like the "Kissing booth" series for exammple? Will that nonlonger be continued? 🥺

I Just wanna know how to interact with you from now on in regards to these Things

Hi Anon! Thank you for your beautiful ask, and I appreciate you so much for wanting further clarification on my commissions. I found as I was writing my response, that I waffled and went on for far too long in phrasing all of it.

To make a long story short, absolutely go on as we always have together here:

When my requests are open, send me requests of scenarios you'd love to see come to light.

When I'm completing a broad series, absolutely send in your preferences on which way you'd love to see me leading it.

That's how it's always been, and as it always should be here. I have a very deep love for this community, and I adore the interaction we all have together. Nothing has changed in that regard.

For commissions: it's specifically for that person, not for here unless they would like it displayed on my blog. Attached via email, docs, or discord: my words curated for the person purchasing it - and only them.

Again, nothing has changed. Content will be produced as it has been, and will continue to do so for free, as it always was. I don't see myself stopping any time soon with my words, and I hope you stay along for the ride.

There is more I feel I have to say, and it's listed below the cut just in case. Again, I love you all here, and nothing has changed.

Firstly: allow me to specify, and thank you so much for your ask, my absolute darling. My answer is lengthy, but please bear with me.

Requests are currently closed: I have a few in my arsenal that I am still plowing through at the pace that I can when the words come to me. The Kissing Booth is closed, and there are a few in my inbox that I am going to complete when the scene arrives in my mind. I also have chaptered series that I'll be running alongside these, and I can't wait to release them.

If there's a series that you would like to see for a character that I've not yet written for (pollen, dreaming of you, dance series, Hey Doc scenario) always, always submit an idea. I love hearing your thoughts and letting the words take me on a ride with them. I write for me, and those interactions mean the absolute world to me.

I had my requests open for a while to allow my creativity to fly, and promptly close them after receiving a fair few prompts. Again, the kissing booth is closed, and I have so many beautiful characters I can't wait to write kisses for (Tashigi, Nami, Robin my beloveds). There was an issue with my asks glitching for a while, but I have managed to save all those I received in a doc to not lose them this time around.

I feel like I should clarify a little bit regarding commissions, and I really should've added it to the sheet when I made it. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to talk more about this, I really appreciate it.

With limited slots available at a time, commissions will be happening. What that means is I will do my best to meet the criteria of a specific scenario: original character x Canon, or canon x reader or otherwise - exclusively for the person that requests it within the parameters specified.

It's more personalised and more controlled by the person requesting, rather than giving me an idea and watching me sprint beyond the horizon. It's also more intimate: gifted directly to the person asking for a slot, as opposed to sharing to those within this beautiful community that I love so much here. It will be unpublished here or AO3, unless the person commissioning would like to see it showcased on my blog.

Again, I will also be writing for the community here with the content that I always have been. There are so many unfinished works that I would love to wrap up with a big bow before the year has finished.

I'll add again: I will still be making content for free here with my own thoughts and completing prior requests, and I have no intention of stopping any time soon.

To sum up:

If you like my writing, and would like to see specifically curated material personally for you and your own use, I have a few slots available to deliver that material for those who request it. If you've read my material and want to see what it would look like with a specific character, an original character, or 'x reader' in your Gmail, docs, or Discord, this is an opportunity to see it come to fruition.

The words I produce for my commissions are for the person purchasing it, and if they'd like me to share it here, I would absolutely do so.

Again: I will still be writing my usual content here alongside commissions.

To use a specific example of my own preference:

I love Heat (Kid Pirate) as a character, and would love to see more Heat content put out there.

If I've found a person who writes for Heat, and I love the way they write him in all the fics they've described him in, and I would love to see them write for a specific reader exclusively for me (afab, amab, original character with their name intact, or otherwise specified). If they had an option to do this, I would absolutely want it from them because I love their content so much.

Similarly to an artist producing visual media, and using the above as the same example:

"But Snail... Why are you opening commissions now when you've always written for free?"

I would interact similarly to this:

"This artist is amazing, and the way they draw Heat is awesome and exactly how I picture him. I'd love to see him in a pose of my own choosing as opposed to how they normally draw him: breathing fire, with a man, with a woman, with a mink-kind, with a fishfolk, without Wire, in a Heart Pirate Boiler Suit - I just think he's neat, and I would love an art piece specifically for me that nobody else has access to but me and the person who created it."

Anon, I'm not having a go at you and I love you for wanting to clarify this with me. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to give an explanation. I appreciate you all the more for it.

I am opening commissions for the same reason I want to commission other artists and writers: I would like to purchase their creativity and enjoy it myself.

If I was to use the earlier example in this response regarding Heat, I would love to see more 'Heat x Tobiuo' content. Tobiuo is my original character, and Heat is her person. Them together is my favourite, and I would love to see another artist's visual media, or written content with their take on them. I am happy to read Heat x reader, or other Heat x OC writing - but I would really like to see my own original character - that's what commissions are for.

Tldr: commissions are curated specifically for the person requesting them, a little creation for them and them alone unless otherwise specified to publish on Tumblr of AO3.

I will not be halting my original content, or abandoning any of my requests I accumulated before closing them. I plan to complete them as they were asked in a timely manner that suits me, alongside commissioned work given specifically to the person requesting it.

I'm still writing for free in a non-exclusive way: hearing asks, listening to words, and going wherever the wind takes me. Commissions are exclusively for the person requesting them, and a way for me to make money so I can pay for commissions of my own from other creators.

I will still be writing my usual content here, and please absolutely don't stop interacting as we always have been.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to ramble on about this, I really appreciate the time you've given me to express further clarity. If you've read this far, thank you for your time.

Regular content will be still running here, and I love all of our interactions we have in this space we've created together. Again, thank you anon. 🖤🐌

[deesi-academia]

i know youre not a studyblr but as a senior can you please give any suggestions on managing 12th boards and competitive exams (im a jee aspirant but i still wanna know how you managed it all) hope its not a bother!

hiii sure!! feel free to reach out whenever, im happy to help <33

okay so. what i suggest you do (assuming you'll be starting 11th this year):

1. Enter 11th std. Don't get intimidated by others. Stay focused on understanding the concepts of all chapters, school exams toh derivations and formulas rattkar bhi ho jayenge. Clear concepts now rather than saving it for 'later'.

2. Practice all PYQs and whatever questions you get for maths. You can only do maths with practice × 100000. It's honestly quite tough, or it's too lengthy.

3. Fully strengthen the 'easier chapters' NOW. Own the knowledge like you made the concept.

4. Enter 12th. Let go of 11th from april-september and fully finish 12th std as soon as possible. Cover all concepts (I believe physics in 12th is relatively easier) and learn all formulas by your midterm exam time at school.

5. USE YOUR SUMMER VACATIONS WELL. COVER ALL BACKLOGS THEN AND THERE. (I regret procrastinating soo much 😭)

6. Just revise 12th entirely and focus on PYQs during October.

7. Nov-Dec go through 11th std again thoroughly, don't take too much stress for preboard cause hopefully you've prepared for 12th strong enough already. Don't take preboard marks to heart!!

8. January, do only and only JEE PYQs and cover whatever backlogs you have. Physics formulas must be learn to the heart. Understand organic chemistry basics very very well, cause it will help predict complex product formations too even if you don't remember the actual reaction!! Maths again, only practice or God can save you 💀 (I'm sorry I'm really scared of maths so maybe this is a biased reply!)

9. Now you'll have board practicals likely in Jan end or Feb only, just make sure your file is complete and you know the basic procedure of experiments. Don't stress too much about viva, usually your own teachers will help you through it!! Focus on practicals as it helps with conceptual JEE Qs too!!

10. Now simply focus on learning derivations and long answer type questions for upcoming boards. You've done enough for JEE and it's time to strength subjective answers. Focus only on cbse board PYQs and again, don't stress too much. Be confident you've worked so hard!!

11. Now the April attempt. Again start focusing on 11th at least 2 weeks before your JEE date. Revise 11th very well.

12. Lastly, solve sample papers only. During the last 3 days I recommend not studying. Only sample papers. With full syllabus. No chapter-wise or topic-wise. But yes if you still don't have concepts cleared, definitely do that asap. Still try to be fully prepared 3 days before the actual exam!!

That's all <33 I made it as detailed as possible for anyone to refer to. Set a goal and follow through guys!! I know it's super hard and yeah 11th mein vo feeling nahi aati, but trust me, if you can push yourself hard in 11th, you won't have to worry too much for the April attempt for sureeee.

All the best <33

[rayraygo1267]

Nathalie is in denial, all like "I just have a deep admiration for Gabriel's drive to rescue Emilie, but it's not romantic" and uses formal distance (like calling him "sir") to maintain that.

Meanwhile, Gabriel is over here like "I am head over heels but she only sees me as a friend oh woe is me", using her formal distance as proof that she doesn't love him.

Adrien drops the "mom" word on Nathalie and she goes into an entire crisis, and lands at "good lord I am smitten".

Nathalie tries to test the waters, and foregoes the "sir" once. Gabriel very much notices and mentally screams, but his resting scowl makes Nathalie think "oh no he don't like that"

Nathalie waits a few days, before giving Gabriel her resignation. "What! Why?" "I'll get in the way of the goal." They get into an argument, and it ends with Natalie shouting "Because I'm in love with you!" which shuts Gabriel up real quick. Nathalie's all like "and it conflicts with your goal; I'll only impede you" and Nathalie's rant is stopped by Gabriel's "I'm in love with you, too."

long story short they are very in love. keep doing what you're doing. you're doing the entire gabenath fandom the biggest service. you're amazing

Another Gabenath Fanfiction

Note: I just wanna start off by saying I absolutely love this idea and thank you for the kind words and the suggestion! ❤️❤️ ❤️

Also I want to apologize for how long this took me. This was originally going to be released in full, but I realized the story was becoming a little too lengthy so I decided to release this in chapter increments instead. So there will be more chapters continuing on from this one!

Rated: T

Warnings: minor language

Word Count: 1,624

Title: Admiration in Disguise

Chapter One

“I really am sorry sir,” Nathalie’s voice was hoarse, her chest filled with sappy fluid. Gabriel sat at her bedside, his brows creased in what seemed to be a permanent worried line. 

“Don’t apologize Nathalie,” he murmured, his eyes downcast, “It is I who should be apologizing to you.” 

Nathalie frowned, though she couldn’t find the strength to protest. Their most recent battle against Ladybug and Chat Noir had not been the least bit fruitful. Their plan seemed to misfire at every turn and it was all Nathalie’s doing. If she wasn’t so effortlessly fragile then their chances of defeating the elusive bug and her pesky cat would be much more promising. 

“Here. Drink,” Gabriel held out a glass to Nathalie, pulling her from her thoughts. His grip on the cup was firm, unlike her own, which seemed to only tremble. 

The condensation of the cup felt cool against the tip of her lips, water sprouting on her tongue, though some tiny droplets did manage to slide down her chin. In a moment Gabriel had a cloth ready to capture the excess moisture. Nathalie observed him carefully, as his fingers and the cloth shrouded around the sides of her face.

“Sorry,” she choked out once more. 

Gabriel chuckled, though it held no amount of humor.

“Look at yourself, Nathalie. Look at what I’ve done to you.” 

Nathalie’s expression softened, “Sir—” 

Gabriel raised a hand, qwelling her words, “I’ve been selfish, Nath. Your sickness has only been intensifying and I can’t help but blame myself.” 

Nathalie grimaced, slowly inching herself closer to Gabriel, the duvet the only thing separating  them. Gabriel took Nathalie’s hands in his own, his chest seizing at the feeling of the coolness in her fingers. 

“This isn’t your fault sir. I’m fully aware of the risks I’m taking. You know I want nothing more than to help you,” Nathalie assured, her voice full of sincerity. She squeezed Gabriel’s hands, though her muscles were numb. 

Gabriel stared at her, his blue eyes reflecting into her own, “I appreciate that, but I can’t keep putting you through this. I’m practically killing you.” 

“You’re not—-” as if summoned, her ailment made its presence known, as one of her coughing fits started up again. 

“Nathalie!” Gabriel shrilled, his urgent concern dripping like sap from a tree as he rested his hands upon her shoulders, his fingers pressing into her back. 

After what felt close to a millennium, Nathalie’s coughing spell ceased, though she was left gasping for air. 

“You see Nathalie. This is exactly what I’m talking about,” he murmured gravely, taking a lock of her scarlet red streaks, pushing it neatly behind her ear. Nathalie’s eyes widened at the feeling of Gabriel’s hand on her cheek, his skin akin to a gentle inferno. 

“I promise you that I am perfectly alright sir.” Nathalie breathed, “You can’t let your concern for me distract you from your goal — from Emilie.” 

Gabriel sighed, his expression contorting, “Emilie wouldn’t want you to suffer like this.”

Nathalie huffed, a wave of exasperation igniting in her core, “But what about Adrien sir? He needs his mother—” 

“What Adrien needs is stability. He’s already suffered the burden of losing his mother; we cannot let him lose you too,” Gabriel said, his determination unwavering accompanied by his steely gaze. 

Adrien. 

Just the mere thought of the young boy’s name consumed Nathalie with an unmatched guilt. She would never want to do anything that would cause the boy harm. Nathalie sucked in a breath, her expression solemn. 

“You are his family and this family will always come first,” Gabriel affirmed, dropping two capsules of cough-drop pills into Nathalie’s palm. The pills  seemed to carry a weight to them or perhaps that was just Nathalie’s perception of them compared  to Gabriel’s hand, which felt light and smooth. Gabriel held up the glass of water to Nathalie’s lips again as she swallowed the pills, her eyes closing as she did so. 

“Thank you sir.” 

“No, thank you Nathalie,” Gabriel said earnestly, his hand tucking underneath her chin.

Nathalie observed as Gabriel’s eyes glazed over. He held a look that Nathalie could not put a name to — soft but driven and yet still something hidden underneath. Nathalie could sense how her breathing became thicker, a flutter coiling down into her stomach. 

Gabriel blinked, his focus clearing, “Rest now Nathalie. I’ll have Adrien bring you your dinner.” 

Nathalie couldn’t bring herself to speak, her voice trapped in her throat, “Yes, sir.” 

“Ooh-la-la! Miss Nathalie!”

Nathalie startled, a gasp catching momentarily in her throat as her hand flew to her chest. 

"Duusu!" She scolded, her heart still pulsating from the abrupt scare. 

"Sorry Miss Nathalie!" Duusu singsonged, flying over to hover above her owner’s shoulder.

Nathalie let out a strained chuckled, though it sent a poignant sting revving down her throat. 

“What’s the matter Duusu? Couldn’t find a more creative way to say hello?” Nathalie teased whilst moving to pull her laptop shut. 

Duusu giggled, her voice ringing high like chimes, “What are you working on, Miss Nathalie?” Her curiosity was evident in the way her wide eyes peered inquisitively at the reflection of the computer screen. 

Nathalie’s cheeks flushed with color, a rim of anxiety shooting down her spine. 

“It’s nothing Duusu — just organizing some files.” 

In the next moment, Duusu let out a melodramatic wail, accompanied by vigorous arm flapping. 

“But Miss Nathalie! Mister Gabriel insisted that you rest!” 

Nathalie sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to be able to reason with the little overly persistent kwami, despite the fact that she had been indeed ‘resting’ for she had taken to her work in her bedroom.

“You and I both know how desperately Gabriel needs the miraculous to bring Emilie back and I want nothing more than to help him but… she paused, a wave of dizziness washing over her, a painful reminder of the very thing she was trying so hard to overcome, “my illness is the very thing that is holding him back and I can’t do that, not when his intentions are so pure. I refuse to be his undoing, much less the catalyst in his downfall.” 

Another wail escaped Duusu once more, along with even more intensified arm flailing. 

“But Miss Nathalie! Mister Gabriel doesn’t want you to get sick like Miss Emilie!” 

A tender smile played on Nathalie lips at Duusu’s caring nature, as she extended her cupped hands towards the kwami.

"I'm not Emilie, Duusu. I'm Gabriel's assistant. It's my job to assist him."

"But you're more than that–you’re family! Mister Gabriel said so!" Duusu argued.

"Adrien's family," Nathalie corrected.

Duusu wailed again, "But Mister Gabriel cares about you too!” 

Nathalie huffed, her heartbeat stuttering. She could feel a tiny bead of warmth spread throughout her chest, though that was mostly cloaked by her astonishment at Duusu’s ramifications. 

“I…Well…I am his assistant so I’m sure he cares about me to some extent.” 

Duusu whined, her crests swaying back and forth, “But don’t you care about him too Miss Nathalie?” 

Nathalie’s muscles clenched, that familiar warmth returning to her core, “He’s my boss Duusu so yes, of course I care about him but only in that of a professional capacity.” 

“But—” Duusu started, her entire body convulsing with protest before being abruptly cut off by Nathalie.

“Are you trying to suggest something Duusu?” Nathalie snapped, arms folded. 

She honestly didn't like being this harsh with Duusu, but she didn't like what the kwami was trying to imply either.

"He is my boss and I am his assistant—that is all," Nathalie reiterated with as much conviction as she could.

Duusu stayed silent for a moment, mumbling and buzzing about to herself until she piped up, "But are you sure, Miss Nathalie? I think Mister Gabriel wants to get closer to you. He even told you not to call him 'sir' anymore."

The kwami wasn't wrong. Gabriel had indeed made that request multiple times, and recently he'd urged her to address him by his first name in front of Adrien, which had certainly taken her aback, to say the very least.

Nathalie bit her lip, her hands clanging together, “We’ve known each other for quite some time Duusu but the fact still remains — I am his employee. It would be impolite of me to address him in any other manner."

Duusu giggled, "I don't know Miss Nathalie. I think Mister Gabriel has feelings for you."

Nathalie’s head snapped up, a tingling sense of bewilderment coursing through her veins.

“Enough Duusu!” she hissed sharply. 

Duusu’s laughter halted abruptly, a whimper chiding from her, "I’m sorry Miss Nathalie."

Regret clawed at Nathalie's heart as she watched Duusu sulk away to turn in for the night — her desire to call her back and her desire to hold her ground conflicting. She hadn't meant to hurt Duusu's feelings, but she had to shut the kwami down.

She couldn’t have Duusu going around with such speculations, especially when there was no truth to them. Sure, she cared for the man and did hold quite a deep respect for him, but who wouldn’t? Gabriel’s intentions were beyond the most noble. His ambition and utter devotion to Emilie was remarkable — truly admirable.

Gabriel always put his love for Emilie above all else and Nathalie wished with all her being that she could say the same, for Emilie had once been one of her closest companions. And Gabriel, despite his cold exterior, had a heart of gold — a heart that didn’t deserve the heartbreak it had suffered. 

Nathalie wanted nothing more than to see Gabriel smile again, for his joy evoked something in her, something akin to a euphoric bliss.

Nathalie would ensure Gabriel’s success, even if she died in the process.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope everyone enjoyed this first chapter of Admiration in Disguise! I promise I'll have chapter two out as soon as possible! Also, if anyone has any more Gabenath fanfic ideas please don't hesitate to send them my way!

[theageofsims]

The Age of Sims 2.8- Part 16 - “Leaving His Brother Speechless" *LANGUAGE WARNING*

The tension in the air could only be cut with a knife -- and it was, but only after David started talking at his younger brother like he knew best and William finally snapped.

"I wanna talk to you."

"Sure." David shrugged around a smirk, "Been waitin' for you to open that tight-lipped mouth of yours since I got here. So level with me… what the hell's really going on?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

"So the less I know -- the better, is that it? Hm." He shrugged, "Guess she's not really worth mentioning in detail, huh?"

"David…" William started as easily as he could, but he was on the verge of shouting any second.

"I thought you said you were gonna level with me."

"I never said that!" William insisted, "Jesus Christ -- what the fuck is the matter with you anyway? Why are you always saying far more than you have to? You had no right to question her!"

"It was a simple question. I didn't ask her to lie. She should have told the truth." He caught William ready to insist on something he already knew would be untrue. "Don't lie to me, Billy. I can read through stone-cold killers and certified liars -- and I got paid damn good money doing it because that's how good I was at it."

"You'll slip as the years go by…" William muttered, not giving much thought or care to his brother's time spent serving in the military.

"The hell I will. I'm sharper now than I ever was -- so don't bullshit me."

"She already told you everything you wanted to know -- and you sure as hell didn't deserve her honesty."

"She wasn't honest. She held back -- she knows she lied and you know it, too. What did I just say to you?"

"You wanna know what -- David? It's about time you started finding somewhere else to go because I hardly want you staying here one more night -- nevermind when we get to Oasis Springs."

"She's already gone -- off she went after that lengthy argument you two couldn't seem to not have within earshot."

"FUCK YOU!"

"Gladly -- but you wouldn't let me invite some lovely ladies on this nice little trip to the forest." He paused around a face that only angered William more, "Wanted to have all the fun to yourself with what's her name?"

"Gloria." He said through a tight jaw. "Her name is Gloria and she's not some woman I picked up off the street--"

"Course not. That's not your style, but hers? Well…" He shrugged, "Could be her thing. Could be all she's good at."

"Bastard…" He said under his breath, trying to keep his anger in check for the sake of Noah who he could feel around the corner nearby. "You don't even know her -- and you never will. If I find out you've gone anywhere near her again, you'll be sorry."

"Threats, Billy? To your big brother? My… you must really have grown a big pair while I've been away, huh?" He shrugged, "I gotta say. I'm pretty impressed… would be proud, too, under different circumstances, but hell -- guess I can't have everything."

"What the fuck is it to you anyway, huh? Why the fuck does it matter who I'm with now? Jesus Christ, you never gave me this much shit when I was married."

"Because you married right. There was nothing wrong with Kathy. Top-notch woman -- came from money even."

"I never married her for her money!" William felt his mind twist in a million direction like it had so long ago because of the man in front of him.

"I didn't say you did… just made an observation."

"Fuck your observations!"

"There's a lot of fucking of me going on here lately, don't you think?"

"None of this is your business. I didn't ask you to come here to judge me, my life, or the people in. God knows you've done enough of that since I was old enough to take my first step!"

"Oh come on, Billy -- always so sensitive. You're really gonna go that far back? If you haven't taken a good look in the mirror, we're both sporting gray hair from the tops of our heads… and all the way down. That was a long time ago and I've already told you -- I was only preparing you to be a man. I was only showing you the ropes."

"I didn't ask for you to show me a goddamned thing!"

"What else are big brothers for?"

William inhaled sharply, feeling defeated for not being able to get through the thick head his brother wore sternly on top of his broad shoulders.

"Look… all I'm saying is you did the right thing marrying Kathy. Could have done more to keep her, but you fucked up -- it's fine." He shrugged, "You're entitled. You wanted to be the best scientist that the world's ever known--"

"I never wanted to be the best."

"Well -- regardless, you ended up being one of the best… and look at you now. Look what I've come to find my baby brother up to--"

"I'm still the same person, David!" He felt his head pulse with tension he could not explain, "Jesus Christ, what are you even driving at?"

"Elizabeth was your only redemption after divorcing Kathy -- and you fucked that up. You were so wrapped up in that woman and her brilliance and then what -- you fucked up again? How many fuck ups does a man need?"

"Fuck this." William started, his eyes going blurry from rage he was trying to keep at bay.

"Fuck this?"

"Yeah, David. Fuck this -- and fuck you. And fuck every last word out of your mouth."

"HEY!" He hollered, his tone as rough as the soldiers he kept an eye on, "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?!"

"My shithead brother, that's who."

The silence fell around them like someone had lowered the boom and then David roughly turned his head with pursed lips to try to burn his logic into his younger brother's mind -- but it wasn't working in the slightest.

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. If you're just fucking around -- God bless you both, but if you're actually serious about this--"

"I'm so serious…" William started with a far away look on his face.

David read it like his brother was in a dream state -- and it only confused him further.

"You can't be serious."

"Why not?"

"Because…" David suddenly felt threatened, like he suddenly couldn't think as quickly as he should, "…because -- a man never changes what he likes."

"A man changes whatever he damn well pleases -- same for a woman."

"I don't believe it."

"You don't believe a lot of shit, David. Talking to you is like stepping into a time machine most of the time and no matter how hard something is staring you in the face -- you're an ignorant ass about every last damn thing."

"Sexual preferences." He offered as a final attempt.

"Those things can change over time, too."

"Bullshit."

"Not bullshit." William assured him, "Sometimes you never really see it coming until it suddenly comes around the corner."

"I don't believe it."

William shrugged, "Not my problem. Chemistry is--"

"Science."

William shrugged. "Maybe… or maybe it's more than that…sometimes, at the least." He shrugged once more.

"You like shoulder length hair. You always liked shoulder length hair. At least shoulder length hair… what the hell are you gonna have to grab on to?"

William looked away from his brother, feeling a number of things -- including feeling somewhat reserved and maybe a little pink in the cheeks, but he also felt a sudden urge to match his brother on his level if only for once regardless of it sounding so unlike anything he had ever said before…

"She's got plenty to grab on to -- and in all the right places."

And that -- left his brother completely speechless.

[randomsquirrel]

Asks for a Fic Writer! 🔆

Well! I've been tagged by the very nifty @eemamminy-art, so how can I refuse? Thanks, mate! <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3? Only 41. It feels like more, but that's because I've got a couple of works that are obscenely long. Like, two series that are (so far) over half a million words, each

2. what's your total AO3 word count? ...1,524,864. That...is intimidating o_O

3. what fandoms do you write for? At the moment, just Stardew Valley and Final Fantasy XIV. I'd like to write for a couple more fandoms (like Baldur's Gate 3, as I am having a blast), but I just don't have the time as it is to work on the current series I have going D:

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? I don't have a lot of kudos on my fics because most of my works are long series with lots of chapters, so while they get quite a few hits and many return readers, only one kudos per visitor @_@ Friends With Benefics (FFXIV, NSFW), a spicy Thancred/Urianger one-shot that I really wanna revisit and turn into a mini-series :3c Sunshine on a Cloudy Day (SDV, SFW), a soft Sam/Sebastian work, one of my first ones, dealing with depression, and how it's hard to get people around you to understand that. Fortunately, Sam does :) Tales of Loss and Fire and...Love (FFXIV, SFW), a fluffy piece, just Thancred and Estinien being bros, having some drinks and bonding, before the Scions leave for Sharlayan. They have a lot in common, like shared trauma that they can finally talk about :( Formality and Debauchery (FFXIV, NSFW), the second of my Estimeric Week works, the prompt was "gala," so I decided that Aymeric had to figure out a way to get Estinien to join him at a high-society event, and did so creatively ;) Rose & Sunflower: The NSFW Chapters (SDV, NSFW), as my first Stardew fic series (Rose & Sunflower 1: The Music Within) was initially being posted to the SDV forums, before being cross-posted to AO3 several months later, I decided that any spicy scenes would have to have their own work so that I could keep posting on the forums. Thus, the NSFW Chapters are all of the naughty parts that couldn't make it into the "main" story. ...And gave me the chance to try a few "what if" ideas, too, that aren't "canon" to the rest of the story but are a lot of fun >:3c 5. do you respond to comments? Absolutely! Comments make my entire hecking day, and I love being able to interact with my readers, I'm just all, THANK YOU FOR EATING MY FOOD, I HOPE IT WAS DELICIOUS <3

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? An End to Hope (FFXIV, SFW), just for the challenge, for the second Estimeric Week event, I decided to see if I could actually do a "bad ending" fic. So this is what might have happened if Aymeric had been possessed by Nidhogg's eyes instead of Estinien >:D 7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I want to say the first book in my Rose & Sunflower series, since I was so chuffed to have completed a project I wasn't sure I could follow through on. But I had been going through a bad patch for a while when writing book 3 (A Different Perspective), and almost didn't finish it, as I lost the drive and physical ability to write for over half a year. So it was both a happy ending for both the characters and myself to see the entire trilogy completed ;_;

8. do you get hate on fics? Thankfully, no. So far I have been so fortunate to only have had positive and constructive feedback, and I treasure every person who has left those remarks :D

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Of my 41 works, *checks and does math*, 16 or 17 are smut/nsfw in some fashion, and is a lower number than I'd have expected. But again, I am prone to lengthy works, so while the number of dirty fics is relatively low, the lewd content per word is very high. All of it is m/m (so far), mostly 'cause the characters I'm working with just work that way. It's also diverse; some of it is normal pr0n, often there's poly/multiple partners, a bit of BDSM, and a few light kinks here and there. Heck, I forgot all I've done, 'cause now and then I go and backread things to check something and go "wait, I don't remember writing that! ...Hot" XD

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written? I enjoy writing crossovers, but don't do them that often. The best/craziest one is Ishguardians- The Factions of Coerthas, which, yeah, isn't so much a "crossover" as it is "Ghost in the Shell meets FFXIV," but it's more than just a futuristic AU. It was basically one lengthy excuse to flex with several of my personal knowledge sets, and was a heck of a challenge to get so many "moving parts" working smoothly, and I'm quite proud of it \o/

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not yet, to my knowledge, and I'm hoping it stays that way. Hooray, I'm too unimportant! :P

12. have you ever had a fic translated? I haven't had that, either. While my work is interesting, there's just not been enough interest in getting it translated/localized

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yet again, nope. I've got a few RPs with a couple of people, but as far as fics go, I've always been working on my own

14. what's your all-time favourite ship? OOF, that's a hard one. I've got a lot that make my brain go brrrr, but... Funny as it is, Elliott (SDV) and my OC (Lysander). I played Elliott's romance route the first time I played SDV because he looked like a sweetie (and an aspiring writer? Heck yes!), and was floored at how closely our respective stories/motivations/desires paralleled. I'd been wanting to pursue a writing career for ages as well, but never had the courage, so after completing his story and seeing him find success with his novel after we helped him get there, I smashed down my fear and gave writing fic a go, at the same time fully developing and fleshing out an OC I'd had a hard time properly giving life. And the success with that series gave me the confidence and experience to keep doing more fics, and eventually my own original works. I just got a second original short story accepted for publication last year, so yeah, those two will forever be precious to me <3

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably "Rose and Sunflower 4." I've got a few ideas (technically, I have ideas for both a fourth AND a fifth book), but with work and life just being loopy, and lacking proper meds for ADHD and other things, I just don't have the spell slots at the moment. I'm also neck-deep in my FFXIV OC's lore, doing a crazy long series that follows his own version of the story, and that's taking up pretty much all of my writing time not devoted to specific projects for exchanges or events or the like :-\

16. what are your writing strengths? Action sequences, and character-driven dialogue. Again, "Ishguardians" was the opportunity to write an action film, more or less, and I have a surprising knack for not only snappy one-liners and comebacks, but also some deeply raw and heartfelt moments. I've got range :D

17. what are your writing weaknesses? I am shit at creating conflict. It's why I've not been able to get a writing career completely off the ground. I'm an engineer, a gamer, and a soldier; I solve problems on purpose! So deliberately creating situations that drive the plot and characters that doesn't feel contrived or "but this shouldn't actually be a problem/a thing" is genuinely difficult for me

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Done right, it can add to the work. I've done it myself, as while my OCs aren't necessarily multilingual, they have picked up a few phrases and the like, so now and then that gets used to convey something specific in a scene. My personal rule is that if I haven't taken at least Level 1 in a language myself, I don't use it. Because while I can use Google Translate or the like to get my result, I still want to check it myself to make sure it's got the right context/grammar/whatever, which can sometimes be lost with automatic translation. ...But, since I've done level 1 with about six or seven languages so far, I've got a decent range to work with ;P

19. first fandom you wrote for? Stardew Valley. I had tried to write for something else in the past, like, in the 90s, but I don't remember what it was, and I crumpled it all up/deleted it before I could post it anywhere, so it's all been (thankfully) memory holed and lost to time. SDV was my first true foray into fics and creative writing. Well, creative writing that I actually enjoyed >_>

20. favourite fic you've written? Again, oof, that's tough. It's a tie between R&S1 and "A Song of Memories," as both are my OC's stories in SDV and FFXIV respectively, but R&S was where I finally took the terrifying plunge into fics, and therefore started my career as an author. Conversely, ASoM is a goddamn epic, and all of my strengths as a writer, storyteller, and worldbuilder are on full display. The R&S series still holds up, and you can definitely see what the characters would "evolve" into in ASoM, as well as looking back and seeing just how much of R&S influenced them :)

Okay! Time to tag some d00ds so they can have their turn! @yaminohere, @burgiethewriter, @nateharmonica, and @nanasamantha, feel free to have at it! I had wanted to tag a few more people, but apparently I don't follow that many writers after all, and several of them haven't updated their blogs in a few years o_O

[cinamun]

Not an ask but in response to your post about posing and sims hopping out of them (tried to comment on the post but my comment was too long):

Have you tried the pose function in Wicked Whims? Sims automatically jump into the pose & I’ve noticed that they stay there until you click “Stop Pose” (or canceling pose from the queue). You can also do this for sims that aren’t in the family (teen and up) and they’ll pose too. Now I haven’t tried it with a Celebrity sim yet but I’ve posed multiple sims at once with it and no problems. Only thing with this pose way, idk if they do your “pose with drink” hack that you shared a while back.

You can stack the teleporter statues as normal for multiple sims then you’ll click on the sim, select the Wicked button (like you would when you’re about to iniciate sex) but instead of selecting a sex action you’ll select “Pose”. From there all the poses in your game will pop up (in a pose player menu as usual) and you’ll select as normal. The nice thing about this is when you wanna repose the sim you’ll just click em again and it brings you back to the pose you’re currently doing (if you haven’t cancelled it out of the queue). You can also enable the positioning through it and move or rotate them around. (Select sim - wicked icon - actions (I believe) - enable positioning - then select the different arrows to move the sim)

Green & blue arrows will pop up and you can move the sims up & down, back/forth or rotate them. You can also go into build move while they’re posing and they’ll stay in position.

this is lengthy and if you already knew this, please disregard 😂 I hope I explained it right.

Okay no because this is SO HELPFUL thank you!! My muscle memory has me grabbing the teleporter every damn time and totally forgetting about the posing in WW! Thank you AGAIN because I'm sure there's a ton of people out there who this will help.

The teleporters work fine with everyone else and its a reminder that Indya really doesn't need the celebrity status anymore I just forget to remove it because I get so immersed. Its was cute while it lasted but now that there are more family dynamics we don't need the confetti and everybody fainting lol. So yeah, posing her for stories with sims who aren't her family pisses me off to no end. I'll have to just press play, let them get their fangirl moments out and then carry on. BUT I'm going to remember this and try it next time I need it!

THANK YOU FRIEND!