#really opened some weird ass pandoras box here sorry

[pridoo]

I'm really sorry if this sounds rude, but I wanna ask what do you like about the ekurei ship? I kinda thought it was just a crack ship but your comic and calendar thing looked really passionate for them- I'm sorry again for such an intrusive question, but I really want to know

Oh, I don't mind at all! I know it seems pretty funny on the outside so I understand. Buckle up though, because I'm insane <3

they hot

The easiest answer is that I've seen tons of hot fanart (mostly from Asian mp100 fandom) of Reigen getting railed by Ekubo/Dimple possessing that security guard – but I also have seen tons of art of Ekubo being a green fart cloud and their dynamics still pull my heartstrings, so it's not that simple.

"Human" Ekubo and Reigen have never even met in canon, so I know it seems silly, but there's a lot of official art from studio Bones of them interacting. I have no idea what's up with that but I'm not complaining. Seems like they are having fun.

common goal

Mob is of course the common interest for both of them. At first they both aim to exploit Mob for their own goals but learn that their shit doesn't really matter, unlike this amazing 14-year-old. Maybe it's me getting old but co-parenting/looking after the next generation is really special to me. if you read/watch the series finale, this dynamic is at the heart of the story to the very end. They learn to be better people through Mob but also share the burden of it, being "the adults" in the situation.

Their skills are also incredibly silly yet compatible. Reigen can win any argument ever and punch people and Ekubo has an unique insight on the spiritual and ordinary world, plus psychic powers. He also does sick backflips. It's a good team.

cunt4cunt

Reigen is a conman and Ekubo an evil spirit. Both of them know this truth about the other from the start, so there's no reason to pretend otherwise. Somehow this makes them incredibly casual acquintances. I think there's something incredibly special about being able to be your worst self and the other still chooses to be around you. You're awful, I'm awful, let's be awful together. They call out each other's bs but also know that they can rely on each other. Reigen always treats Ekubo as an actual person, be it shitty or casual.

They are both witty and smart but also kinda losermen because they lack some necessary qualities to become truly popular or successful, but also because the circumstances in the series are very realistic to the real world. If you fuck up majorly once, it's pretty hard to climb back. Despite this, they pull together.

better people

During the series, both of them go through a huge character development. There's something stupidly good in both of them from the start though, and it starts to show at the end of 1st season and especially during 2nd season. The catalyst for this change is of course Mob, but they also choose to become better.

It's funny to me that they both wallow in some weird self-hatred that makes them seem really narcissistic, and without Mob they would probably stay that way. They are so convinced that they are the single worst person in the world so even their good sides, like loyalty, ability be quite genuine and caring seem like flaws to them. Joke's on them, they are both lonely and sad people and actually understand something very human because of it. Do they actually reach their goals? Well, mp100 has a kind of absurdist core to it. Because nobody is special, you can make your life what you want.

TL;DR I think they are funny, kinda stupid, pretty hot, surprisingly genuine and lonely people in a lonely world. Plus: no sense of personal space.

Thanks and sorry for the lengthy essay! 🫡

[mara-xx217]

In your opinion who would let the survivor get the hatch if she slept with him and who’d be happy with simple flashing him her tits ? Who’s so stoic and against it ? And which bastard would sleep with her then kill her anyway ? Me and my friend and we picked you to decide.

*cracks knuckled* Let's see here... Some of the killers probably intersect with different categories, depending on their established (or lack there of) relationship. Here are my thoughts: Who is stoic/against it?

The Wraith: Well, he wasn't expecting that, of all things. Now things are awkward... You know what? J-Just go already... Shit's fucking weird now...

The Hillbilly: Horrified. Totally and utterly. If he's not completely blinded by rage, He'll turn on his heel and walk all the way back home. You better leave before he gets a grip... If he gets a grip lol

Michael Myers: (if you aren't his obsession) Only reaction you get is his signature Mikey head tilt before he slits your throat. Sorry love...

The Oni: He's fucking speechless, actually. Disgusted, really. A whore isn't fit to bear his heir...

Bubba Sawyer: Similar to Hillbilly- fucking horrified. He was raised that stuff of that nature are only meant for husband and wife. Wait... DOES HE HAVE TO MARRY YOU NOW?!?! Now he's crying. Good job...

Pyramid Head: You have to do some seriously fucked up shit to even get this big guy to even consider looking in your direction. You'll be killed all the same.

Who is down with it and will actually spare you?

The Trapper: Dumb ass's breeding kink goes BRRR- It literally runs his life, even if he refuses to admit it. Will demean the shit out of you and will nonstop call you a slut and a whore. You've made a mistake, my friend...

The Blight: That nerd fucking wishes this would happen to him lol. But seriously... if you catch him on a good day, on an... adventurous day... He might just take you up on your offer...

Frank Morrison/The Legion: He's a punk ass bitch, but a deal's a deal. That doesn't save you from the hell that he (and likely the other members of the Legion) will rain down upon you for being a hoe.

Who would fuck you and kill you anyways?

Michael Myers: Sorry, even if you're his obsession, he's likely gonna either fuck you and then kill you, or kill you and then fuck you. (Or both)

The Doctor: C'mon... I mean- look at him. Why would you trust... him?! Extorting people and killing them is, like, his whole deal, you know? Really, you should have seen this coming... Is there something wrong with you? Do you need to see the Doctor again...?

Ghostface: What a fucking prick. Just so you know, you've opened up Pandora's Box with this one. If you thought the Entity's realm was hell before, sorry to burst your bubble, sunshine, but shit's about to get a LOT worse for you...

The Trickster: (if you aren't his "muse") Yeah, he'd fuck you and kill you afterwards. He finds groupie fan girls like you annoying, but you are an easy kill (and an even easier fuck) so why look a gift horse in the mouth...?

@prettycutebunny, @tachankas-whore, @kennbb, @cherrysodalite, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow

[meeko-mar]

Here's some pain;

Obviously this is way more fic fodder than an actual prediction of any sort,

What if, when Katsuki starts really going after Izuku do get through to him, and he gets Izuku pinned down...And Izuku still tries to get him to leave him alone.

What if he thinks that it will... drive Katsuki away to confess his feelings?

TW for feelings of internalized homophobia, and I guess perceived notions of homophobia?? Izuku is basically afraid of his feelings, as usual.

..

As part of the whole idea that he's suppressing, and sort of has internalized homophobia against his crush on Kacchan...So he assumes the logic that if he's afraid of his own feelings, Kacchan would probably be disgusted, enough to give up on him, to leave him. Or at least shatter his concentration enough for Izuku to escape. It will hurt, and it's his last resort, but if he wants Kacchan to keep his distance, he might have to just do it. Because he does love Kacchan and needs to keep him safe. (and he has tried literally everything else to get his classmates off him, to no avail)

So he screams it, right into Katsuki's face, because again, he's been pinned.

"Don't you get it?? I love you!! I always have!" He cries. "That's why I can't be near you!! My feelings are only going to get you killed!!" (he has related this to the rest of the class already, but this instance is specially for Katsuki, insert a mess of Izuku's emotions about Kacchan nearly dying for him once already)

But instead of disgust, and letting him go, Katsuki keeps a hold of him, and his eyes change. At first he is a bit blindsided, but quickly resumes his resolve.

"You...Asshole!!" Katsuki growls, also in Izuku's face. "So what, You want ME to have to Watch YOU fucking die instead cause you won't let anyone fucking help you?! Is that better? That's somehow ok?!"

"You fucking love me?? Bullshit!" (stay with me here)

"If you love me so fucking much, why don't you fucking act like it!! Why don't you think about how I feel watching you drive yourself into an early fucking grave like everyone who came before you!?"

His fists clench tighter around Izuku's tattered costume as tears start streaming down his own cheeks in the rain.

"What about how I feel about you, huh!? You think you're too good to wanna stick around long enough to find out??"

Izuku is obviously SHOOK(his ploy didn't work?? Kacchan isn't rejecting him?? Or is he?? What is happening here, he did not account for this response...)

Eventually they manage to wrangle him up. Take him home.

Katsuki hovers as he heals, making sure he doesn't bolt again. He seems to be looking at him with brand new eyes, though Izuku knows he's being considered a flight risk and thinks that might be the soul reason... but also there seems to be another new context to the look of those red eyes.

They have conversations, calmer, but they still skirt around *those feelings*, pretty awkwardly. The whole class can tell what's going on, too(I imagine that they at least heard the tail end of when Katsuki was yelling at Izuku about it)

Anyway, Izuku reluctantly...very reluctantly, agrees to work with UA and his friends. With many, many discussions that pretty much amount to Intervention and THERAPY talks with all involved(and after a lot of rest to get into a better mindset), he realizes how terribly they were worried about him, and are still worried. And eventually, that it's not fair to shut them all out when they are trained as much as he is and deciding for themselves to be involved.

He still doesn't like it, he is still terrified...He still believes/knows he's got to keep searching for AFO...but now accepts that his friends are going to try to help no matter what he says and accepts their help, accepts Katsuki's help. AM comes back and they make up, and AM ALSO tells him to make sure he's ok before taking care of everyone else again.

As Izuku slowly adapts to having a home base and becomes less of a flight-risk, Katsuki's still always lingering in the background, or acting by his side, like his right-hand man. I think once more paralleling the Second watching over Yoichi.

Izuku honestly can't tell what Katsuki actually thinks about the whole love confession, and he's actually afraid to ask and open that pandora's box again. So for a while he acts like it didn't happen. It all feels surreal and like it could have all been a panic-induced fever dream for all he knows.

But, unbeknownst to Izuku, the reason Katsuki isn't really saying anything is because he's actually kind of assessing his own feelings. He knows he cares deeply about Izuku... but is it love, is it THAT kind of love? Can he properly even return those feelings, does he deserve to?? And then again, he's ALSO questioning if Izuku was genuine about his love confession or if it was some sort of fake out to get him to leave him alone or shock him. And if it was, he'd feel really stupid and pretty hurt if he came to confess only to be rejected by Izuku. (which, might happen anyway, because Izuku's still terrified that his love is going to get Katsuki killed)

Anyway, he's read Izuku horribly wrong in the past before, so he wants to really make sure he's reading the signals right.

The kids in their class, while obviously occupied with patrols, the ongoing tension of AFO lurking out there, communicating with the Heroes and the International reinforcements, etc etc, are absolutely AGGRAVATED by these two dancing around the issue, and for not giving all of the tea-seeking kids of their group closure after that dramatic day where they had fought Izuku and the two of them had SCREAMED at each other about feelings. (again)

Like even Ochako tries to (gently) get the truth out of Izuku cause she knows how crazy it can be to have a crush when you're preoccupied with saving the world.

Maybe one night Katsuki and Izuku are out, I'm thinking high up where they can see UA grounds...Maybe the roof of the building? Perhaps doing a look-out patrol.

And they start TALKING.

Katsuki straight up starts the conversation because he knows, and we all know, that Izuku would be tight-lipped about it still. He just straight up says "So are you ever going to tell me what the hell you meant that day?"

Izuku FREEZES, but he decides he's probably avoided this for long enough...can't put it off forever.

Katsuki looks at Izuku and finds him looking so, so insecure, confused, and grimacing with a blush as he looked away.

"Oi, Deku." He startles Izuku, "Were you....Were you lying to me?"

Izuku looks so bewildered by Katsuki's new tone. There's a hint of insecurity in his voice

"Sorry--I'm sorry... I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have said it like that," Izuku fumbles with the words. "I used those words to try to push you away...I thought you'd hate me, and if I could get you to hate me, you'd let me go, and I was so scared, and it was a really really desperate strategy..." he's doing his trademark muttering by now as panic sets in.

Katsuki steps closer, eyes burning with intensity as he looms over him. "But was it a lie."

"It was the wrong moment, for the wrong reason...But..." Izuku sucks in breath and feels his heart hammering. Forces himself to meet his eyes with Katsuki's. "It wasn't a lie."

Katsuki's eyes widen, and they both kind of stall in the moment as it all settles in and the wind blows between them.

"I'm sorry," Izuku blurts, and blushes furiously, starting to turn away. "I shouldn't have pushed this on you," He's giving in to his instinct to bolt.

Katsuki catches him by the wrist. Izuku turns, and meets Katsuki's smoldering eyes again. "Don't you go running off without hearing what I think again, damn nerd. Last time it nearly got you killed."

He runs a hand through is hair and looks away, and by now is also blushing. "Dammit. I'm still trying to figure out how to be around you. I'm still trying to relearn how to be your friend...At least, a friend who's actually worth a shit."

Izuku nods quietly, they've also had their discussion on their past/Katsuki's apologies by now, so Izuku is understanding of where Katsuki's feelings are coming from.

"And...Deku, you dumbass, why would I hate you for that??" Katsuki glares. Izuku flinches a bit.

"Well I..." Izuku mumbles. "It's obvious, right? I thought you'd be grossed out... I'm not a...Neither one of us is..."

"Not what, a girl!?" Katsuki scoffs. "Since when does that fucking matter?? You don't decide what the Hell grosses me out, Deku. " Izuku looks at him, SHOCKED, but his eyes shining.

The hand that has him by the wrist squeezes just gently, and feels really warm.

Katsuki sighs, and looks downward. "As long as you're not lying to me about something like that. Don't ever fucking lie about this kinda shit."

He finally looks at Izuku again, eyes large and shining. His hand pulls Izuku forward just gently.

"I don't know...Fuck...Give me time...Okay? There's still a lot I gotta do before I can..." He cuts off, still blushing and wrestling with the emotions. but the remaining words 'before I can say it back' basically hang, unsaid, in the air between them.

"But you gotta promise me you won't go and get your stupid ass killed before I get the chance, got it, nerd?!" Katsuki adds hastily.

Izuku feels his eyes start to burn as the warmth wells up inside him, and a smile spreads across his glowing face. He laughs a bit, feeling the nerves bubbling over, paired with a sudden sort of relief. Kacchan doesn't hate him for what he said, and even might return the feeling. What a good feeling. The best thing in a while. If not all the more terrifying.

"Okay, Kacchan" Katsuki blushes at how stupidly cute it looks for the light to be returning to Izuku's eyes, and that dumb smile lighting up freckled cheeks...Something that the Katsuki of a few weeks ago would have given anything in the world to see, right there in front of him.

Feeling the urge to bring back their previous mood, Katsuki grunts some sort of quasi-insult, like, "Don't get any more weird, backwards ideas like that, Deku. I'll kick your ass."

Izuku laughs again, But then suddenly, everything is ruined; A massive jolt to his head strikes him and he suddenly withdraws his hands from Katsuki, clutching his head and doubling over.

Danger Sense.

"Deku! Hey!" Katsuki grips him by the shoulders(partially in panic that Izuku might fly off by instinct without second thought to a plan of any sort, like old habits) "What is it!?"

Katsuki's legitimately scared as Izuku sinks to his knees; Izuku's had Danger Sense pings while staying within the walls of UA to heal before(that they had to CONVINCE him not to pay attention to, or rather send one of the other students out in his stead), but nothing this obviously severe.

Little Brother, The voice rings in Izuku's head again, and his blood runs cold.

Gritting his teeth, Izuku's eyes then shoot open, and look with terror to the horizon;

"It's him...He's coming..."

---

sorry this was long. probably imperfect.

but I had to get it out of my head.

And then somewhere in or in the aftermath of the final battle they actually share a kiss and Katsuki says it back. It's nice.

I really think, Katsuki would probably legit have few hang-ups about being gay, his attitude is "don't fake who you are or how you feel", Mr. "can't even fake it to survive a kidnapping encounter with villains and would rather try to explode them all even though he's outnumbered". He'd be like, "what, you like boys? fine, then, what's the problem?! Like boys all you want!"

In this scenario I think he's way more concerned over if he's a worthy partner for Izuku, or if he's able to reciprocate, rather than "am I actually gay and if so what does that mean"

And as of 320, let me just say that Izuku is SO FRIGGIN SCARED, it breaks my heart. Like he's legit terrified and I think our suspicions that he was deeply deeply traumatized by the war arc are exactly on the money. the line "AFO is going to take you all away from me" while flashing back to the losses in the war including Kacchan....JUST SHOOT ME, IT MIGHT BE LESS PAINFUL.

Can't wait for the main UA kids(IE, his closer friend circles) to have their turn trying to wrangle Izuku up.

Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you liked this.

[stardustryewriting]

It’s weird

Synopsis: Drunk Zoro and mildly drunk Sanji have a conversation, that sober Sanji can’t seem to shake from his mind. It’s all weird, after all.

Also on A03: here

Sanji would say, he wasn’t sure what caused this. But that would a lie. He knew what caused this, he just didn’t think that that little thing - that happened two years ago by now - would still be relevant at this point. And okay, maybe calling it a ‚little thing‘ was a bit of an understatement, considering Kuma was a warlord but still. No need to bring it up again, really.

And to be fair to Zoro, he didn’t exactly bring it up, per se. He just had drank too much. And then admitted that he was worried sick about Sanji while he was in the hands of Big Mom. Which he wasn’t, he was in the hands of Judge and the Germa, thank you very much. But also, Zoro had used his name and not Cook, or some other insult. (Not that Sanji considered ‚Cook’ an insult, Zoro just had a very insulting way of saying it.) So Sanji was willing to take it as a compliment, instead of as the start of an argument like he usually did. He reassured Zoro that he was fine, and wouldn’t leave the crew again and that should have been it. But it was’t.

„You don’t get it“, Zoro had slurred and in retrospect, the slurring should have been a sign to end the conversation before it got out of hand. Zoro always drank so much, that slurring indicated he consumed an insane amount of whatever alcohol they had. (Sake, it was usually Sake.) And if it went to his head that much already, maybe having a conversation was a bad idea. But Sanji had some alcohol too - not as much as Zoro or he would be dead - so he did the stupid thing instead.

„What don’t I get?“, he inquired, and that was really the beginning of the end.

„I care about you. I wouldn’t fight with you all the time if I didn’t. You’re important to the crew, too. A great cook, food always tastes good. Shouldn’t have left in the first place. Would’ve kicked Big Mom’s ass, for sure.“

Rambling proved to be an even greater red flag than slurring. Zoro never rambled, Sanji should’ve been skeptical. Just as he never said nice things about Sanji. Or used his name. This whole evening was very surreal. And if Sanji had been the master of his senses, he would have stood up and went to bed, before it escalated. Maybe he could have poked fun at Zoro the next morning, and they could have fought it out, like they always did. That would’ve been funnier, at least.

„I care about you, too“, he said instead. It wasn’t a lie even though he always thought he would die before he said it out loud. (He did almost die at Whole Cake Island, but he willingly chose to ignore that.) But then he thought hell would open up and take Zoro down, before the swordsman would admit he cared for Sanji, and that didn’t happen either. Alcohol made their heart to heart somewhat more honest and way more uncomfortable. At least from a sober perspective.

„Nah, not like that“, Zoro disagreed. Thinking back on it sober - not that Sanji was even nearly as hammered as Zoro had been - this was where everything went down the drain. And he would love to blame it on Zoro exclusively but he couldn’t. Zoro might have opened Pandora’s Box, but Sanji was stupid enough to look inside, instead of slamming it shut, like he should have.

„Sure I do“, he argued,  „I care about you same I care about Luffy and any other crewmate. I wouldn’t regularly stock up on Sake if I didn’t.“

And that was it for Sanji. But it wasn’t it for Zoro.

„You don’t care like you care about Nami and Robin“, he mumbled. Zoro had actually mumbled. And that was so much more out of character than the slurring  or the rambling that at first, the meaning of the sentence didn’t fully hit Sanji.

But when it hit, it hit hard. Hard enough to make him choke.

And then, because maybe he really was the weak, sentimental fool Judge always thought he was, he said: „But I do. I would’ve died to protect you from Kuma. I don’t think I ever worried about someone more than I worried about you that day.“

Which wasn’t a lie. At least that was good. Or maybe it would have been better if it was a lie. Maybe then Sanji wouldn’t have been as confused and Zoro could have made a joke about it the next day. And then Sanji would have made a joke back and they would have fought and everything would have been normal.

Or maybe it would have been better if they had the chance to talk it out that night. But Luffy had immaculate timing as always and when the captain asked Zoro to eat with him, of course the swordsman agreed. And then, Luffy had realized that the food for their feast was almost out and made his way to the kitchen - Sanji’s kitchen - and Sanji went to defend their provisions from the captain, which effectively ended his talk with Zoro for the night. And for the next couple days. Which was very uncomfortable.

The Thousand Sunny was a great ship and it had a decent size for the Strawhats. But it was too small to avoid each other. Especially considering that Sanji’s workplace was also the place where the entire crew ate. And Luffy insisted on them eating together. Zoro did his very best to avoid Sanji during the day, probably in the crow’s nest if Sanji had to guess, and Sanji did his very best to spend as much time as possible in the kitchen, but they couldn’t evade each other completely. The bathroom was shared, as were the sleeping arrangements. It made not seeing each other effectively impossible.

Not to mention that the others caught wind, too. Which was to be expected, because usually their fights were regular, happened in the very least once a day, but they have been quiet for a few days now and no one knew why. Which might be not true, considering Robin had been throwing some knowing smiles his way for days now and as beautiful as Robin’s smiles usually were, this one unnerved him. He would take Chopper innocently asking if him and Zoro had a real fight this time over that any day.

Sanji sighed, looking at the last potato he had to cut before he would go to bed. Not matter how hard he would think about it, it wouldn’t change anything. He said what he said, as did Zoro, and neither of the two knew how to handle it. At least they had something in common.

A humorless laugh left him, as he began peeling the potato. And then he let it fell out of his hand when someone cleared their throat behind him. He quickly grabbed to again before he turned around to face Zoro. And then he fiddled with it, giving his hands something to do, while he waited for Zoro to speak. He’s seen someone look both as uncomfortable and as determined as Zoro did right now.

„Look, I’m sorry“, Zoro said and Sanji almost lost his grip on the potato again. He wasn’t sure what he expected exactly, but an apology wasn’t even on his radar. What was Zoro apologizing for, anyway?

„I - what?“, was his eloquent response and he stopped peeling now. For good measure, no need to cut himself, after all.

„It’s clear you didn’t understand what I meant that night. And that you very clearly understood the next morning. And that you’re uncomfortable now. I’m sorry I said that. Should’ve taken it with me to the grave like planned.“

Laughing probably wasn’t a good response to that. Sanji knew he would be deeply insulted if someone laughed at him, after he showed vulnerability like that. But he couldn’t help it. After days of nothing, of Zoro not even looking at him, that was what he got? It was comical.

But apparently Zoro, much like Sanji, was deeply insulted. Not that Sanji could blame him for that.

„Yeah, ha ha. Ain’t it funny Zoro has feelings? I got it, Cook.“

„No, wait please“, Sanji pleaded, still laughing, but trying his best to keep it in, „that was just really unexpected, please just give me a second.“

Zoro crossed his arms before his chest and huffed annoyed. But he wasn’t leaving, so Sanji did his best to reign in his laugh and calm down. The situation was serious, Zoro was serious and Sanji should be serious, too. So he took a deep breath, straightened his back and looked Zoro in the eye. Which normally would be the start of a fight. Now it just made this situation weirder.

„Sorry, this is just really different from our constant arguing“, Sanji tried to explain. Zoro raised an eyebrow but remained silent. What did it say about Sanji that he knew exactly what this raised eyebrow meant? He really knew Zoro all too well.

„It’s weird“, he said and Zoro hummed in agreement, which was a beginning, „and it’s probably even weirder that I don’t hate it. Talking to you that night was nice, I meant what I said. Which, I never thought about it, not like that, not as intense, but I definitely meant it when I said it. I care for you, which is not that weird, I care for everyone in the crew. But I care for you really deeply, more than usual and that might be the weirdest revelation I had in years. “

Zoro shifted his weight from one foot to the other and Sanji really wished he still had the potato in his hands. Anything to stop them from fidgeting. He didn’t really know what to say now, he said his piece but Zoro seemed to wait for something. Or maybe Zoro was thinking, too. Which was unusual, Zoro might not wear his heart on his sleeve like Luffy did, but he never shied away from saying his piece either. Sanji considered his potato once more, just to have something to do for his hands. And to not have to look Zoro in the eye.

„It is strange“, Zoro agreed eventually, „but I don’t hate it.“

And then he dropped his hands from in front of his chest and took a step towards Sanji. Just one, like he was scared Sanji would shy away. Which he wouldn’t, but he could appreciate Zoro’s concern. Which would have been insulting in another setting, but this was way different from any other setting the two had ever found themselves in. So he could appreciate it, and silence the little voice in his head, insisting that Zoro just implied he was weak. He knew for sure, that Zoro didn’t think of him as weak, after all.

And Sanji supposed he could meet him in the middle, so he took a step towards Zoro, too. And cupped the man’s head in his palm. And leaned in to kiss him. Which Zoro somehow managed to make into a competition for dominance. And then, when Zoro won and they parted for a quick catch of breath, he smirked triumphantly at Sanji.

That Asshole.

[more-stuff-of-pi]

Promises and Threats and the Kisses in Between

a/n: how is it that the one fic that I’m really not sure about is also my longest one? i’m a clown, that’s how. dedicated to mom and all the Makki simps out there. lmk how to better characterize our good boi :’(

notes: it might not be v clear but this is a college!au technically. i did not re-read this at all so apologies in advance. i’m also the worst at tenses ugh! requests are open :) find my masterlist here

pairing: hanamaki takahiro x fem!reader | genre: minor angst (w/lots of fluff) | warnings: swearing | word count: 2,618 (edited: 11/12/20)

The odd thing about being sad is that there were different types of sad. There was the kind of sad that had you screaming into a pillow for release. There was the kind of sad that had you feeling like someone had scraped your throat with sandpaper and had forced you to chop onions for hours. And then there was the kind of sad that left you feeling hollow, amiss. At first, you might think that you’re having an off day or that you’re simply in a bit of a ‘funk’. But then, as the day drags on and nothing -- not even mindlessly binging a new season or the same one you’ve seen a million times -- offers you a sense of fulfillment, you come to understand that you’re experiencing a kind of sad.

That kind of sad is one that pulls you in like a siren’s call, subtle and sweet, almost, until you notice that your head is sinking under water and your hand is desperately clutching at nothing but air. It’s the kind of sad that you suffer quietly, settling over you without rhyme or reason. The kind of sad that’s like water in a pot. Once it’s hot enough, it comes boiling over, raging and uncontrollable until someone turns off the heat.

You were feeling that kind of sad -- you had had a rough day to say the least.

And it wasn’t anything in particular that had sent you spiralling. Rather, your insecurities that you’d locked away neatly had sprung free like Pandora’s box, crawling and fighting and clawing their way out, smiling demons emerging victoriously from their solemn slumber. You had tried for hours to ignore them, flinging yourself into meaningless tasks. When that didn’t work, you tried shoving them back inside. Needless to say, that also did not work.

Which is how you found yourself staring at your phone, Hanamaki Takahiro’s contact glaring up at you. You had been like that for a few minutes, apparently hoping that some spirit would possess you and just push the damn call button for you already. But, you sighed, it seemed like you would have to find the courage to do it yourself. And it’s not like you should even need the courage! This asshole was your best friend of nearly ten years, whether he or you liked it or not, and there shouldn’t be a single problem in pushing that fucking button.

And yet, that was another thing about this kind of sad. It made you feel utterly, hopelessly, simply… alone.

But you had more faith in your friendship than what any kind of sad could tell you otherwise.

You pushed the damn call button.

“Yo,” Hanamaki picked up on the third ring. “What’s up, shithead?” In the background you heard guns blazing and dramatic music swelling to its climax.

You chuckled weakly, doing your best to reply as usual. “Nothing much, ugly.”

“Whoa, you okay? That had none of your typical asshat-ery to it.” Leave it to Hanamaki to notice that your insults had less bite than normal.

“Maybe I’m feeling nice,” you tried to cover.

“You? Being nice? To me?,” Makki questioned and you could hear his teasing smile, “Never.”

“Like anyone would ever be nice to a moron like you,” you heard someone in the background say. Matsukawa, maybe.

“Makki! We’re in the middle of a movie, put the phone away!” You could tell immediately from the nickname and the ever present whine that it was Oikawa which meant that it was definitely Matsukawa from before which meant that Iwaizumi was also present.

“Oh, shit, sorry. I forgot you had guys’ night or whatever the hell Oikawa makes you call it,” you apologized, tugging at the hem of your sweatshirt. On second thought, it might have been Hanamaki’s. It was certainly large enough to be.

You heard Hanamaki move, the background noise growing more distant. “Nah, don’t worry about it. He’s making us watch some stupid fucking alien movie that I swear he’s seen, like, fifteen times.”

“This is only my eighth time, jeez!”

Oikawa yelped as Iwaizumi undoubtedly hit him. “Shut it, Trashykawa.”

“Atta boy, Iwaizumi,” Makki cheered, drawing himself further from the noise. You heard a click of a door, assuming he had found a separate room. “So? What’s up?”

“Oh. Nothing,” you half-lied. There was something wrong, you supposed, you just didn’t know what.

“Bullshit,” Hanamaki said firmly, “you’re a terrible liar. Something’s bothering you and you never call unless you either need something or you had a shitty day.”

You scoffed. “I call you just to call you!”

“Last time you called me you asked me to get you a meat bun and you hung up before I could say anything,” Makki reminded you, amusement clear in his voice.

“Okay, well,” you said sheepishly, “it worked. So… there.”

He laughed, the sound light and mischievous. It never failed to make you smile, even if the smile now was small and half-hearted. “You’re such a dork.”

“Why thank you, I try.”

“Yeah, sure seems like it half the time.”

You would have punched him if he were there with you. “Hey!”

“You said it first, not me,” he chuckled. He waited for a few moments, perhaps for you to say something, but you honestly didn’t know what to say. You were sad but you didn’t know why and you felt like the whole world was against you. It was a miracle you were even able to call Hanamaki in the first place. He sighed. “Meat buns or Pocky?”

The question startled you as your brows knitted together. “What?”

“Fuck it, I’ll just bring both. I’ll be at yours as soon as I can.”

Your eyes widened as you tried to stop Hanamaki. “Hana, wait, no--”

A door opened and the background noise of the movie became clearer as Makki moved yet again. “Yo, Shittykawa! Got any Pocky?”

“Get away from my kitchen, you snack monster!” you heard the man squawk.

“Nevermind, I’ll just get it with the meat buns. Oh,” Makki seemed to remember that he hadn’t hung up on you and softly said, “I’ll see you in thirty minutes, Y/n.” And the line went silent. 

“What the hell?” you whispered to yourself. You glanced outside your window, surprised that it was already dark outside, meaning that you had wasted away your entire day. You didn’t know what you expected to come out of talking with Hanamaki, but it certainly wasn't for him to ditch his friends to come see you. You sighed, flopping back across your bed and closing your eyes to take a few moments to focus on your breathing. The pilates girls on campus were always preaching about how good it was to take a few centering, meditative breaths throughout the day. Hanamaki and you constantly snickered at their bullshit but right now, you honestly felt as if you were a dam with a weak point, just waiting for that one final push to break you. So if the pilates girls were right and this whole centering bullshit ended up not being complete bullshit and it didn’t hurt to just breathe -- what the hell, might as well try something. All of your previous attempts turned out to be useless, so what harm could deep breaths do? You honestly were just hoping to keep your mind occupied until Hanamaki apparently showed up on your doorstep, ditching his old high school teammates he only gets to see every now and then in favor of coming to see your mopey ass. He just saw through you so easily -- a spy career was out of the cards for you, you mused -- that it was almost infuriating. All because the usual insult that you fling his way sounded a little less bitchy. Damn him and his stupidly keen intuition.

The breathing thing must have worked because, before you know it, your door is opening and Hanamaki is calling out a casual “Yo!” as he lets himself in.

You groan, forcing yourself to get up and actually greet him. He’s in your kitchen, shuffling through the fridge to find the beer you keep for him hidden in the back. You can tell he’s been sweating, beads of it lightly dripping down his temples. “You stink, ugly.”

Makki turns around beer in hand, lifting an eyebrow at you. “Nice to see you, too.”

“You’re sweating, what else am I supposed to say?”

He rolls his eyes, clutching dramatically at his heart. “I ran here from the station and I even brought you food and this is how you repay me? Some friend.” He gestures to the bag sitting on your countertops. “You’re welcome, by the way,” he adds, sipping from his beer.

"Hana, you didn't have--"

Hanamaki huffs, lazily waving your words away. "Yeah, yeah, but food always helps when you're feeling down and you've been nagging me to get you meat buns for the past two weeks." He gave you a pointed look. “So consider this as me caving. I even got you Pocky, too.”

You persist, "Still--"

"Listen," he sighed, glancing at you, his features almost bored, "I know you're sad and there's nothing wrong with a guy wanting to be there for his best friend, now is there?"

(Your heart did a weird thing and you knew it was because he had called you his best friend but you had always been that and would continue to always be that, so what was the problem?)

You shifted your feet, tugging at the hem of your shirt. "Well, no, but guys night--"

"Whatever, I see those guys every month," 

You quirked your brows. "You see me almost every day, Hana, we go to the same college."

"Yeah, but I actually like you instead of those dweebs. Plus, you’re sad. I’d be a dick if I just ignored that." Hanamaki made his way over to your couch, perching onto the arm, facing you and nursing his stolen drink.

You crossed your arms as you leaned against the counter. “You’re really annoying for being able to do that, by the way.”

“For being able to do what?”

“For being able to tell that I’m sad! Sometimes a girl just wants to be sad by herself.”

Makki quirked his brow. “You called me, princess.” You swallowed the heat that wanted to rise at hearing your best friend call you that.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” you choked out defiantly.

Hanamaki grins as you huff, snatching a box of the mint chocolate biscuit sticks and tearing into it, crunching one into your mouth. You glared at him as you swallowed the treat, his stupidly cute smirk doing its best to coax more warmth to flood your system.

“You’re feeling better now, yeah?” he asks, after a minute. You nod reluctantly to which he chuckles, grin never once leaving his face. “So you don’t mind if I tell you something?”

You cock your head to the side, a little confused. Usually the asshole doesn’t hesitate to ask you the most invasive questions so you can only wonder. "Tell me what?"

Makki nods, chugging the rest of his beer – you didn’t notice how little of it was left in the first place – and sets the bottle down onto the coffee table. "It's been on my mind for a really long time, now. Like, months. Years, even."

"That's surprising, I didn't know you could think for that long."

A wide grin split over his mouth. "Oh, shut it."

A matching smile lifts the corners of your mouth. "So, Hana, what has your brain so occupied? You need all the space you can get up there."

He exhales a shaky, laughing breath. You wonder why he seems so nervous. He never gets nervous. There's even a flush to his cheeks that you don't think is just from the beer. “I think," he says slowly, methodically," I’m in love with you. No, I know I’m in love with you.”

Your heart feels like it comes to an utterly abrupt stop. You swear you can feel it seize up. Heat climbs up your body, swirling throughout. Maybe you should have cleaned your ears while you were waiting for him to show up, you don't think you heard him correctly. “What?”

“My stupid fucking heart does this really stupid fucking thing where it feels like it can skip a beat when you call me ugly. My goddamn lungs feel like they are entirely incapable of breathing properly when I’m around you because I just love you so much–”

“That sounds like a personal problem,” you blurt out, wincing at your lack of self control.

Makki stops and just stares at you. Your fingers immediately find the hem of your shirt once again, playing with it to distract you from the total fool that you made of yourself. But, then again, that wasn’t anything new around Makki… who continues to just stare at you. And then he’s bursting into fits of laughter, trying to hold them in and only making the choking sounds worse.

“Did you– did you just… fucking insult me while I was confessing? Ouch,” he wheezed.

“I– This doesn’t happen to me very often, Hanamaki, how the hell else do you expect me to react?”

He quieted and for the first time when he looked at you, he looked almost shy. Almost. He was still the same calm and collected Hanamaki Takahiro that you had grown to adore. “Maybe for you to say that you love me, too?”

Your breathing hitched and you finally allowed yourself to admit that your heart always did weird things around your best friend because you were maybe, sort of, wholeheartedly in love with him too.

“Is this how you cheer girls up when they’re sad? By telling them that you love them?”

His smile is soft and kind. “Only the ugly ones.” You groaned, covering your face at his idiocy. “And the ones I get to call mine.”

Your heart fluttered as you peeked at him from beneath your hands. “There better only be one.”

“Is..." he takes a deep breath, "Is that ‘one’ gonna be you?”

You gulp underneath his serious stare, entirely unused to it. “O-Only if you don’t mind being the uglier half.”

It takes a moment for him to register your words and watching him do so is like watching fireworks explode. His whole body lights up and his face is quick to be reignited with his signature grin, his eyes beaming with joy and pride. In order to do something, anything but look at Hanamaki, you snatch up another Pocky, stuffing it into your mouth.

Emboldened by your return of his affections, Hanamaki slinks over, bracing himself against the counter with his arms on either side of you. A hand comes to gently guide your chin to look at him. Impossibly, his smirk grows wider as he bravely leans in and bites down on the half of the Pocky sticking straight out of your mouth. His eyes are alive with amusement in the face of your embarrassment. Honestly though, you couldn't tell if you were more mildly disgusted or vaguely turned on.

"If you don't fucking kiss me, I'll kiss you myself." It was impossible not to glance at his lips.

His grin widens, licking at his lips hungrily. "Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Both," you breathe, butterflies battering around your stomach like crazy.

"Nice," he grins and then you’re both diving in for a kiss, both of your hearts swelling with joy and amusement and the pleasurable insanity of being in love with your best friend.

So here’s to promises and threats and the kisses in between.

taglist: @samwrights​ 

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the Moon

Chapter 14

Sander was pretty nervous, although he shouldn't have been. He had made that decision a very long time ago, and he was just waiting for the right moment to put it into action. That wasn't the kind of emotion he expected to feel that morning. Happiness, excitement, those were the things he had expected.

On the way to the cafeteria, where he had asked Lucas to meet, he told himself that what he was feeling was not about the thing itself, but about having to tell someone for the first time.

At times like that, he found himself hating the situation with Charlotte a little bit more. He w anted to tell her first because he wouldn't felt so nervous. But sadly the relationship between him and his sister was non-existent at the time, so the next one on the list had been his best friend.

Sander walked into the cafeteria and ordered a decaf for himself, a chocolate with a lot of whipped cream on top for Lucas, and sat down to wait for him. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long because, even though his best friend had a billion flaws, he was rarely late.

"Thanks for meeting me here."

"Wow, so formal."

He said, grabbing his chocolate as Gollum would have done with the ring. Maybe he should have ordered a piece of pie as well, just to make sure to put him in a good mood, thanks to the sugar overload.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"Yeah, I can see that. What's up?"

"I don't even know w here to start."

Lucas gave up on his attempts to remove the lid from his cup, and took Sander's hand on the coffee table, squeezing it in his own. He looked up to meet his gaze.

There was something in Lucas's eyes that could scare you. It was like looking straight into the raging sea, and it was exactly what Sander expected his best friend’s soul to look like. Untamable, but somehow it had the power to calm people down. To steal their thoughts and make them their own.

"Sander, I might act like an idiot all the time, but you know you can talk to me."

"It's just. I don't feel like Robbe's my boyfriend anymore. It's weird when I introduce him to someone and I call him like that."

The boy who had finally managed to open the lid, bury a finger into the whipped cream, and then put it into his mouth, remained still for a moment, at other’s words, trying to understand if what he had just heard was correct.

"What the fuck? Do you wanna break up with him?"

"What? No! The opposite!"

"The op- oh my goodness!"

"Yeah! We’re raising a child together, but it’s not just about Hero. It seems right, you know? He’s the one, and I knew it since the beginning of our relationship, but now, if I’m not home, I can’t wait to see him again, tell him about my day, and hear about his. I feel completely myself around him. His presence is so soothing for me. I just wanna be like this for the rest of my life. I'm ready and I hope he's too."

Lucas had given up on his chocolate, which Sander considered a n honor , and was listening to his best friend with a dreamy expression on his face.

"I think I wanna marry Jens."

"Oh my god! Don't try to steal my moment! Do you think this is the right time, though? Everything is still a mess. We’re about to graduate, and I don’t even know what I’m gonna do after that. I don't have a job, and the situation with Hero and Charlotte is still complicated."

"But you're sure of Robbe, right?"

"He's the only thing I'm sure of in my life right now."

" So do it. Ask him."

Sander nodded, suddenly much more confident than when he woke up the same morning and less nervous than when he walked into the cafeteria. Sometimes he forgot how well Lucas knew him. He smiled because he was no longer able to contain his happiness and stole some of the whipped cream from Lucas's cup.

"I'm so excited."

"Me too! Are we gonna buy him a ring?"

"I'm gonna buy him a ring."

"Yes, but I'm helping you, so..."

"I bet Hero would sound just like you."

"I take it as a compliment."

"Shut up and let's go. I already saw something I like."

"But I didn't finish my chocolate!"

"Okay, we can stay a little longer, then. I'm getting some cake for both of us, I want to celebrate!"

And with a lighter soul, Sander got up from his chair , ready for his sugar’s overdose, and to face one of the days he would remember for the rest of his life.

When Charlotte's face appeared on the screen, Lucas couldn't help but smile. She was sticking her fork into a bowl of salad, probably trying to avoid what she didn't like.

Her dark blonde hair covered her face for a moment, but she quickly tucked it behind her ear, suddenly looking up at the screen. The girl smiled, waving the hand in which she was holding the fork.

"Hi, Luc!"

"Hi, baby!"

"What's up?"

"I had my last exam today!"

She clapped her hands, showing a warm smile that was the Driesen family’s signature. They were able to make you feel loved and appreciated by just smiling at you, even from miles away and through a screen. Lucas missed Charlotte so deeply, that sometimes he just wanted to hug his laptop to try to feel some of her warmth.

"Oh my goodness, congrats! When are you gonna graduate?"

"In two weeks."

"I wish I could come. Really. I miss you so much."

"Ow. Don't be sad, baby Lot. How are you?"

She shrugged, looking down at her salad, putting the fork back in it. Her mood had changed so quickly and so easily, a s if she was just waiting for the right moment to bring the matter up.

"I don't know. I'm happy here, but- I miss my brother."

There it was, Charlotte's weak spot. It had always been him, even though she hadn't even wanted to hear anything about him for nearly a year. Their bond was impossible to break. Not because they were twins, but simply because they were Sander and Charlotte. They had been attached at the hip for 23 years.

"Talk to him."

"I don't know. It's weird. "

"Why?"

She fell silent for a moment. Lucas knew what Charlotte was about to say, and he was afraid of opening that Pandora Box. He didn't want to plant that seed in the girl's head, because if things went wrong, it would be his fault.

"Because of the baby. I don't wanna be a mother. I know I don't want to! But what if I see him, something change, and then I regret everything?"

"Charlotte, I think it's too late to regret something. The baby already has two loving parents."

"That’s why I don’t wanna talk to him or come back. I don't wanna put myself or him in that situation, I don't wanna make a mess."

"I get it."

They both sighed, looking at each other through the screen. Lucas wanted to tell her that no, she couldn't come back thinking of taking Hero from his parents, because he no longer belonged to her and maybe he never did. It wasn’t in the Universe’s plans for Charlotte to become a mother. Hero had always been predestined to be Sander and Robbe’s baby.

But Lucas said nothing. He remained silent waiting for the girl to speak again.

"Does he like being a dad?"

"Yeah, he loves it. I've never seen him happier."

"I wish I could see it."

"And also Robbe! He's so in love with Hero!"

It was the first time they talked so openly about that topic. Charlotte had never asked anything, but at that moment she seemed a little bit more convinced of the choice she had made, simply because, in that way, she had made happy, two of the people she cared most in the world.

"Hero... it's such a cute name. Wait! Are Robbe and Sander back together?"

"Yes! They are! And your brother wanna ask him to marry him. He already bought a ring."

"What? Lucas! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? "

"I thought you didn’t wanna know."

"I didn’t, but I guess I was wrong. Gosh! I'm studying to become a therapist and I don't even know

how I feel! I'm the worst!"

Charlotte ran her fingers through her hair, rolling her eyes in frustration. She put her salad aside and crossed her legs on the chair because she couldn't sit in the same position for more than five seconds.

"You're not, shut up! You're a natural! Remember how many times you helped me to figure out how I was feeling?"

"Yeah, but it's different with you. I know you like the back of my hands."

"You know me better than Jens."

"How's Jens?"

"He's good, but I still don't know how he manages to put up with me. I'm such a pain in the ass lately."

"Lately?"

She asked, raising her eyebrow, looking at Lucas with a half-smile on her lips. Fuck, he missed her. The way she spoke her mind without judging. Charlotte was able to make everyone feel understood and safe because she was always ready to help.

"I'm being serious! I'm scared he's gonna get tired of my stupid attitude. He makes me wanna be a better person, but I often end up acting like a jerk."

"Luc, first of all, Jens is madly in love with you, so don't worry. But if you really wanna be a better person, I’ll tell you what to do: breathe. Your biggest flaw is that you're impulsive! You act out of your emotions. Sometimes when you want to scream at his face, you just need to take a deep breath to ground yourself."

"You're right."

" And, Luc. Just chill."

They both burst out laughing, but Lucas vowed to try to follow Charlotte's advice. She had never been wrong before.

"They are teaching you well, down there in Sydney, huh?"

"They’re not that bad, but Luc, I've to go now, it’ s getting late."

"Okay, bye baby, love you."

"Love you too."

The moment they end ed up their video-call, Jens opened the front door. Lucas closed his laptop and got up quickly to greet him, determined to follow the advice that Charlotte had just given him. He wanted to be the person he was, before his stressful life turned him into a bundle of nerves, always ready to shoot at the wrong moments, to those who didn't deserve it at all.

"Hey."

"Come here."

Lucas opened his arms and squeezed Jens, pressing his lips against his. The boy was surprised by that sudden gesture and didn’t react right away , as he was no longer used to his boyfriend’s display of affection. That reaction was immediately noticed by Lucas, but he didn’t say anything, although he felt a little sadder than before.

"I missed you so much."

"Why are you being so sweet? You're creeping me out."

"What? I'm always sweet to you."

Jens kicked off his shoes near the door and headed to their bedroom, followed by Lucas.

"You used to. Now you're only sweet when you're super drunk or tired and when we fuck."

" When we fuck . And I'm the one who's never sweet."

"When we make love. Sounds better?"

"Yeah, yeah. It does actually."

"You're being weird."

Lucas sat on the bed, watching his boyfriend's every move, as he was taking off his clothes, probably to take a shower. He wasn't immune to the summer heat either. His skin was sheered by a thin layer of sweat, and his hair was a mess, but he still looked like a daydream.

"Jens."

"What?"

He didn’t know whether to bring that matter up or not, but he felt he had to, even if he was afraid. Lucas hoped he could make things right, even if Jens didn't seem in his usual relaxed mood.

"I'm sorry if I had been a shitty boyfriend lately."

"Are you sick? I'm calling the doctor."

"C'mon! I'm being serious."

"Okay. Sorry. Let's talk."

Jens sat next to him on the bed, but he didn't try to touch him in any way, and Lucas noticed that too, of course. He knew his boyfriend’s manner, and that evening, it was as if he weren’t himself, or perhaps he had been like that for a long time, but Lucas’s stupid self-centered behavior had prevented him from noticing it. He began to fear, that the evening would turn out very differently than he had expected. His hands were shaking, and he hid them under his legs. He didn't want to be seen as weak, but he couldn't help but think, that, his Jens, not the one in front of him, would have noticed it anyway.

"We're not together only because we're used to be in a relationship, right?"

"It kind of feels like it sometimes."

"And why you didn’t tell anything?"

"Because you had a lot going on and I didn’t want to be a burden for you, so I just let things flow until they got to this point."

"What point, Jens?"

"Luc, I love you, but- I don't even know what it is, but it shouldn't be a  but  after that."

"No, it shouldn't be."

He closed his eyes because he wanted to cry, he couldn’t believe what was happening, but he deserved it. He had made him feel, as if the person he loved the most in the world, had been replaced by a clone that only looked like him.

Lucas hadn’t fallen in love with Jens for his appearance, but for his kindness, the attention he always had for him, his love, his sweetness. All those things were gone now, there was just that guy in front of him, who was a stranger.

"Jens, I had been a shitty boyfriend to you, and I wanted to fix things up. I wanted to kiss you and say that I’m sorry, but I know you, and I’m realizing just now, like the clueless idiot that I am, that it’s probably too late."

"You're not an idiot."

"But it's too late."

"I always wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, Luc, then you started to change and I tried to make things work for both of us, but now I'm tired, and I don't know if I wanna do this anymore."

"Okay."

The room fell silent, and it was so heavy that neither of them dared to carry on the conversation. There was only one way it could end. Lucas felt his heart pounding in his chest and he wanted to cry and scream all his pain to Jens, but he had promised Charlotte not to let his emotions take over. Thus, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and he was about to succeed when the other found the courage to speak again.

"I think we should break up."

Lucas stood up without adding a word, and left the bedroom, going to the front door. He quickly put on his shoes, took the keys of his bike’s lock, and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

It was movie night at the Driesen-Ijzermans house, and this time it was Sander's turn to choose what to watch, which always turned into torture.

Robbe sometimes thought, his boyfriend choose only long and boring film s on purpose, just to test his patience, and their relationship was well beyond the stage where one pretends to be interested in everything the other likes, just to impress him.

The only good thing about that evening was being able to snuggle up with Sander on the couch.

"This movie is so fucking boring."

"It's a classic!"

"It's a black and white movie in Russian with German subtitles, Sander."

"So?"

"I don't speak Russian or German and neither do you."

"It's not about what they say, baby."

"Sander, I swear to god, if you start again with the aesthetic thing!"

A notification appeared on Robbe's phone, and he silently thanked whoever was his savior.

"Oh my god!"

"What?"

"I think Lucas wanna ask Jens to marry him!"

"Excuse me?"

"Jens just told me he found a ring in one of Lucas' drawers."

"Wow!"

Sander paused the film, momentarily panicking. Jens had found the ring they had bought that morning for Robbe. The one Lucas should have kept safe until the right time came. Clearly, he had placed too much hope in his best friend’s abilities.

"So he didn’t tell you anything."

"No."

"Weird."

"Well. Maybe he knew, I would tell you straight away and you're Jens' best friend so...”

" Makes sense. I'm so happy for them, though! "

"Wait, he's calling. I have to get this."

He picked up the phone and got up from the couch, quickly leaving the room. He was furious with Lucas and hoped that the other had a valid explanation for what had just happened.

"Lucas, what the hell?"

"Hello? I'm one of the paramedics who helped Mr. Van der Heijden. Am I talking to one of his relatives?"

"I'm his best friend. What happened?"

"I can’t tell you the details, sir, but he had an accident, and we’re rushing him to the hospital. Can I have one of his family member's number?"

"I can give you his boyfriend's number."

"No, sorry, as I already tell you, it has to be a family member."

" Fuck, Jens is his family! They have been together for 7 years now!"

Sander raised his voice. He felt frustrated. That same situation could have happened to him and Robbe. Even though they were raising a child together, formally they weren't a family yet, and it broke his heart.

He felt his boyfriend's hands closing around his bicep. Robbe must have heard him raise his voice and got worried.

"Look, I'll call someone else."

"Okay, fine, I’ll give you his father’s number, but he doesn’t live here in Antwerp anymore."

"Thanks, and I’ll tell him to put you r and his boyfriend’s name on the visitor’s list, so you won’t have problems."

"Thanks."

He hung up the phone and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. His heart was in his throat. Anything could have happened. He looked Robbe in the eye with a completely lost look. He didn't even know where to start.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. They just told me Lucas had an accident, and they wanted his father's number."

"What? I just spoke to Jens and he didn’t tell me anything!"

"I think we should tell him, and go to the hospital."

"Yeah, I’ll call him. You call your mom and see if she can come here to stay with Hero."

He thanked the universe once again for having Robbe at his side. He knew how to stay calm in any situation and that was exactly what he needed. Before leaving, Robbe stroked his cheek, looking him in the eye s firmly.

"Sander, it's gonna be fine."

[previous] / [next]

[uayv]

＼(￣▽￣)／me again with my stream of bs album review that no one asked for~ nct 127 neo zone edition

Elevator (127F): * D I N G *. oh hellooooo sexy bass. the synth is so cute(?). lmao was gonnas ay this sounds relatively stripped back but then nevermmiiinnnnddddd. crey this is such a fun laid back song. like the kind of song id play on a sunny morning making pancakes to. 

영웅 (英雄; Kick It): honestly i love this kind of strong beat heavy songs. plus their using the same kind of chant/layered speak-sing voice that Go had. OH yeaahhh that brief beat of emptiness mmmmm sexy. eheh that one brief melodic sound softens the songs so much and makes it so nice on the ears. tbh i get why people are like oh its ~noise~ cause the melody is really hard to pull out. like you cant really hum this song without doing the dubstup BWOBBWOBWOBWOBOBWOB. ooooh raplineeeee. me a doyoung voice supremicist. im putting this on my work out playlist. ughiuhgehrigjhkewf haechans voice yeeeeee.

꿈 (Boom): creyeyryewryewurehjfkdkke johnnnyyyyyyy. i absolutely love boom. this was one of my favs during the song previews challenge thing. omfg this weird interlude...is this a bridge?...or part of the chorus???? whatever that weird sexy part is oh yeah im here for that. i actually have such a fondness for marks voice.

낮잠 (Pandora’s Box): oh looveee when it picks up. oooh a lil jazzy? blues? in the piano is it???? and that brief lil dance into minor during pandoras box. theyre really doing a lot of group lines eh. T^T maaarrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkleeelleeeeeee. taeeeyyoooonnngggg. JONNETH. man they went serious with them 90s synths. committing to the concept i approve.

Day Dream (白日夢): another ‘dream’ reference *notes into on insane conspiracy theory lockbox*. oh wtf ooooh this brief off-kilter beat suddenly in all this dreamy kind of haze. loving you feels like im dreaminnggg. interesting almost pizzicato singing layered with this amorphous dreamy sound. falestooooo. those chimes add such a nice touch. 

Interlude: Neo Zone: this is hella into the neo-verse style. i love how the interludes always have a bit of dissonance. OK DUBSTEP????????? sexy how they truly make it feel like youre gently falling from a day dream and suddenly it gets a little haunting and disjointed,,, and then hella BWAHBWAHBBWAHH. wait whatd he whisper?? no more trauma? drama?

뿔 (MAD DOG): this song is so hella taeyongs style. lol the tongue click. im just a hella sucker for marks voice. truly sounds like im blowing my speakers out with these sounds but its all good.

Sit Down!: omg sorry this just sounds like such a typical song that i might here in some clubs here. hahah jokes nevermind that was a sudden switch in the pre-chorus. OH NOPELMAO we’re back to the club. starting to see why theyve organized the album story this way and why the interlude is there.

메아리 (Love Me Now): oh sexiest opening in this album?? oooh the tropical pan flute thing in the back. this feels like one of those summer songs. I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME NOWOWOWOWOW. ohhh why do they manipulate the voices that way?? SO SUMMERY BUT ITS RAINING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. whoever falsettoing with haechan *chefs kiss*. the kind of song id vacuum to in my earphones.

우산 (Love Song): SORRY THE BEAT IT STARTED WITH AND I WAS LIKE HELLO IS THIS BRUNO MARKS? ILL RENT A BEACH HOUSE IN MIAMI? WAK UP WITH NO JAMMIES? mmmmmm jaehyun. ooooh i fucking love this song. lots of fun effects in the background with a variety of spacing. 

백야 (White Night): that 90s ass synth. oh yeh. oh oh yeh yeh. serenaaddeeee meeeeeee. zoomzoomzoomzoom.

Not Alone: oh. OH. OH? i love how their voices blend together. its just so gorgeous. WHOSE LOW ASS VOICE WAS THAT. me popping a piece of chocolate in my mouth cause this song genuinely feels so comforting.

Dreams Come True: sexy. love u. oh a light sprinkle of that piano.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 28 Week 6: And We Just Continue the Mess

Again, let’s get this started.

Ally and Sasha- Quickstep (Score=25)- This dance wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t great. Ally had a pretty good frame. And her footowork was mostly good. But Ally got out of sync and was ahead of Sasha at times (and sometimes slightly behind). It’s weird that Len didn’t see the synchronicity issues. They were plain as day.

Kate and Pasha- Viennese Waltz (Score=27)- This dance was a little hippity hoppity, but it was really good. It was Kate’s best dance so far. She looked super comfortable and she really emoted. I also see that Kate has worked so much on her extensions. My biggest problem with it was that she still needs a little more fluidity throughout her body as she dances. And her posture needs to improve just a bit more. But she has improved immensely over the weeks.

Kel and Witney- Quickstep (Score=26)- This was Kel’s best dance this season by far. There was an issue with his feet somewhere in the middle where things really almost went off the rails. I do think that these two would really benefit from Witney going out of the box more with the choreography. We know she can do it. And Kel is perfectly capable. That Charleston section was amazing and I think we need to see more of that from Kel now.

Karamo and Jenna- Contemporary (Score=25)- Another personal best for a couple. Karamo was really fluid for the first time in this competition. There were a couple of moments that were a little stompy, but I actually liked it. He really felt this dance and you could definitely see how much it meant to him. I fully enjoyed a performance from these two for the first time this season.

Hannah and Alan- Samba (Score=24)- This was kind of awkward. The hip action was nonexistent and she was just off beat. She also just needs to get grounded in her movements. I think there’s at least one woman each season that dances really airy like. Their ballroom dances are always beautiful, but their Latin dances usually suffer. Hannah happens to be one of those dancers and I need Alan to really work on that with her.

Sailor and Val- Jive (Score=27)- Was this an alright dance? Yes. Was it 9 worthy? Absolutely not. Sailor was heavy footed and while she stayed on time, her long legs never retracted fast enough for me. She also seemed to get overwhelmed by the choreography. A score like this is always a sign that a couple is in real danger of being eliminated.

James and Emma- Samba (Score=27)- And this was James’s best dance so far. And I think I would go as far as to say that it was the best dance of the season. James’s hips were going exactly the way they should have been. He hit every beat and was right on it. They were completely into it and you could tell that they had an amazing time. And I love when you can tell a couple has fun with the routine. I loved it. I really did.

Lauren and Gleb- Contemporary (Score=26)- This was Lauren’s best dance of the season too. She was committed and she went through the dance with a confidence and ease that I haven’t seen from her yet. I know how much it meant to her and she definitely channeled that in her dance tonight. Now, the choreography was wretched. I’m sorry but it was incredibly disjointed and felt aimless. I’m not sure what Gleb is out here doing, but he is absolutely, without a doubt, positively, the worst male pro on this show. 

Ally and Sailor end up in the bottom 2 and the judges save Ally. An upsetting result for sure. But I’m not shocked especially considering the fact that the judges have not learned from last season and are refusing to score the terrible dancers properly. Only if they’re white though. Because they had no issues passing out the 4s to Lamar. Anyway, now that Pandora’s Box has been opened, get ready for some wild ass results for the rest of the season. I hope y’all are ready for season 27 part 2.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 224: More Like Slidin’ Go Fuck Yourself

Previously on BnHA: We caught up back to real time and learned that the Shigaraki Squad has been battling Gigantomachia basically nonstop for the past month and a half. Tomura in particular has barely eaten or slept (the others at least got breaks), yet is in an oddly good mood despite having not made much progress. Anyway, Twice got a phone call from Giran’s number, except that it turned out not to be Giran, because we of course know that the Quirk Liberation Army has captured him. Guess what else they’ve done! If you guessed “tortured him for a week and severed five of his fingers and placed them in symbolic locations to send a message to the League,” you guessed right and that’s pretty fucked up that you actually guessed that! So anyway, DetCEO, who apparently goes by “Re-Destro”, bragged to Tomura about how they have 116,516 “liberation warriors” spread throughout the country and have been preparing for this moment for generations. They want to tear down the world and rebuild it as a place where everyone can freely use their quirks. Almost doesn’t sound too bad, until you remember the whole “kidnap, torture, and dismember” thing (and the fact that Re-Destro killed poor Mickey Mouse just a handful of chapters ago). Also they knew Tomura’s exact location somehow, and Re-Destro threatened to sic all of the top heroes on them if they don’t cooperate. He told Tomura to meet them at Deika City in Aichi Prefecture so they can have an epic battle.

Today on BnHA: Re-Destro invites the Shigaraki Squad to a big ol’ murderfest free for all in Aichi prefecture. The squad takes a few minutes to debate the merits of accepting this invitation, with the most pressing arguments in favor being “they kidnapped and tortured our bro Giran” and “they know our location and will sic all of the top heroes on us if we don’t”, while the biggest argument against is the whole “it’s obviously a trap” thing. Ujiko, who’s listening in on the whole thing, warns that he won’t be able to lend them any High Ends for the time being. But Tomura doesn’t seem too concerned, and asks Ujiko to warp them over. His plan is to have Gigantomachia follow them and fuck up the Meta Liberation Army’s day, thus killing two birds with one stone for him. So they head to Deika City, picking up Dabi on the way, and are greeted by none other than fucking Slidin’ Go, who’s apparently evil. Huh. He leads them through the city, which seems mostly abandoned. “Seems” being the operative word, as it turns out the city is occupied by Liberation army cronies, who proceed to greet Tomura and the gang with some friendly violence. Tomura and co. respond in kind, and the focus shifts to Toga, who’s facing off with Kizuki from the Army who has All Might’s eyes and Katsuki’s quirk (a winning combo if I do say so myself). Anyway so now they’re gonna fight.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 226, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so apparently Re-Destro told Tomura to be at the location within the hour, because Horikoshi has apparently learned his lesson about long, drawn-out arcs. thank you god, thank you jesus

apparently they know the League can warp, so they won’t accept any excuses for them taking their sweet time

and this is super creepy tbh

satellites. why didn’t you think of that, Tomura? here you guys are relying on secret traitors for your intel instead like amateurs

but seriously, it’s so creepy to have people with this capability and have them be the bad guys. imagine what kind of dystopian shit they’d get up to if they actually won?? it wouldn’t be pretty, I can tell you that much

obviously go meet up with them and kick their asses. or, even better, take the gorilla with you

oh my god Twice I love you so much though

Twice you are the Kirishima of villains. Tomura! listen to him! you can be villains who both win and rescue!!

oh my god Toga

TOGA I BELIEVED IN YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

Twice is passionately saying that if there’s even the slightest chance he’s still alive, they have to go

now Compress is chiming in and pointing out that charging in with no plan is a very bad idea and that Twice always gets “attached” too easily. omg. stfu Compress. so sorry for actually giving a shit, dude

so what does Tomura have to say about all this? villain he may be, but his origin story involves being “rescued” by AFO after being seemingly abandoned by everyone else (or so he believes anyway). are you going to just leave Giran to a fate like that? and then there’s the matter of that satellite tracking you too

oh shit

wow what a fucked up move dude. but effective though

ooh now he’s getting in touch with Ujiko and asking if he was listening in

Ujiko is all “you kids are always on your fancy little ‘radios’“ lol what. Ujiko it’s 2214, cell phones have been around for 250 years. get with the fucking times dude

meanwhile poor Twice is clutching his head and moaning that he’s splitting apart, but only Toga seems to care. ;_; ahh Twice

Compress is getting all hopeful and thinking that they can use the High Ends to battle the Liberation Army

but Ujiko is all “sorry but no”

please stop calling them children you fucking creep omg. do you not even care

so Hijack Noumu’s name was “Hood”, huh? farewell, High Puns Noumu. it’s been fun times but I was seriously running out of things that start with “high”, so I’m gonna latch on to this Hood thing if you don’t mind lol

well we all know AFO being gone is more of a temporary inconvenience (:

lastly, it’s very curious how he says “difficult” as opposed to impossible. please give us the deets of how Noumus are made already Horikoshi. I know I’m gonna regret being so curious but I want to know all the same. open that big ol’ Pandora’s box

Compress is all “well fuck”, but Tomura says that wasn’t his plan anyway. oh?

I bet you he wants to use the recording of AFO’s voice to get Giganto under control

ahhh, yeah, it’s looking that way my dudes

oh my god you guys

fuck me. but just. it’s the first time I’ve ever been struck by a resemblance between the two of them, is all. something about the confidence in his smile. for once he’s not unhinged; he’s perfectly in control of himself and he is a man with a plan, and just. damn. boy you look like your grandma and I’m feeling those Shimura feels though

anyway, so it’s interesting that he’s also getting Dabi to meet up with them. meaning his plan is (for the moment, at least) beyond my comprehension, because I certainly can’t figure out wth he’s thinking right now

and now Spinner’s all “we’re seriously rushing straight in?!” and pointing out that they have no idea what they’re getting into and they’re going up against an army that’s supposedly 110,000 strong

ah, okay, maybe I did figure out his plan after all

okay but then why do you need Dabi

now Ujiko is yelling in his ear “BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO IF IT WAS ALL A BLUFF?!”

and Tomura is all “well then Giganto will fucking die, s’no skin off my back”

Spinner keeps expressing doubts and it’s really starting to look like he may actually switch sides you guys

Tomura is all “don’t make me say it again”

oh good he is fixing Twice up now

... [headpats]

oh Tomura

the good folks of Deika City might want to think about getting the fuck out of Dodge you guys

(ETA: they are all bad folks. you fuckers have only yourselves to blame. have fun being dusted, roasted, compressed, and floated twice over. and Goron pounded. and whatever Spinner fucking does. is it really just the samurai sword. whatever.)

oh look Dabi did join them after all

you guys seeing them act like heroes is so fucking weird though. I know they’re our protags for this arc but still. weird

why did you agree to come?? because you love them you jerk. and you owe Giran as much as anyone

petition to rename this the Villain Feels arc you guys

oh shit

good instincts you guys! good eye, Toga!

OH MY FUCKING --

MOTHERFUCKER!?!?!

so there really was a reason chapter 219 was named after this guy, huh?? he had such a minor role but Horikoshi wanted to make sure we didn’t just immediately forget about him! holy shit. motherfucker did you even return all of those wallets??

holy shitballs this frictionless fuck hugged Katsuki and Shouto and no one suspected a damn thing

AND!!!

as we know, Katsuki was right to call attention to this. but now we know Slidin’ was being intentionally dismissive of the villain’s tech in order to hide Detnerat’s involvement! son of a bitch. that might even have been why he was there in the first place

look at this piece of shit

fuck this guy so hard

oh my fuck

petition to rename this arc the Villain Feels/Stephen King Novel arc

holy shit

well at least we know they’re all expendable. that’s good, considering the League isn’t likely to go out of their way to keep any innocent passerby from dying horribly. run that mission statement by me again one more time, Tomura? “destroy everything?” yeah that’s what I thought you said, thanks

wow and the big bads are here too already!!

if the one on the left (Kizuki, just went back and checked) fights anyone other than Toga I’m gonna lowkey be rooting for her ngl

YOOOO

WHERE DID ALL THESE PEOPLE COME FROM ALL OF A SUDDEN AND HOW QUICKLY WILL DABI BURN THEM ALL TO DEATH, DO YOU THINK

like, okay, so you wanna come at us like that then?? fun! fucking bring it!

holy shit this guy is a politician??

is that what he means by “party”? damn these guys are in the fucking government and everything

government, big business, satellites... look, no pressure here Tomura, but if you don’t win, I’m starting to think we are seriously screwed

anyway so Twice is all “who cares about these guys, where’s Giran?” and I have to admire his focus in the face of... all this

Hanabata is gesturing to the observation tower in the distance and says Giran is “waiting” over there with Re-Destro

and Twice is all outraged because they said they’d return Giran to them when they got there. “you filthy liar.” wow imagine that. bad guys lying about shit

someone or other appears to be watching everything from the nearby security cameras. probably RD. motherfucker

now these two guys are introducing themselves to Tomura because I guess they’d like to be disintegrated today

nice knowing you guys. but not really

hahahahahhaaa

I know it’s fucked up, but they had it coming, and that was some of the stupidest shit anyone in this manga has pulled in a hot minute though

um

hard not to see an explosion and immediately think of my boy Kacchan! but obviously he’s not there, so what gives??

oh shit

sladkfjalskdfowiehfoksSDLFKJSLDGKHL

okay. okay hold up. gather my thoughts. can’t just keysmash, gotta get my brain back into working order here...!

motherfucker how did I know the girl was gonna fight the other girl. well whatever

THIS BITCH HAS KATSUKI’S QUIRK BUT FROM LONG-DISTANCE?! LIKE PYROKINESIS BUT WITH EXPLOSIONS?! WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS, COMBUSTIKINESIS?? ALSO I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO LOVE HER FROM THE OUTSET OMG

and on top of that, that gesture with her fingers is giving me strong flashbacks to [S] Cascade from Homestuck

TOGA FAKED HER OWN DEATH TELL ME MORE!?!?

ARE WE GOING TO GET SOME MOTHERFUCKING TOGA FLASHBACKS YOU GUYS I CAN’T. I KNOW I’VE SAID IN THE PAST THAT I DON’T CARE AND WOULDN’T MIND IF SHE JUST STAYS CRAZY WITH NO EXPLANATION BUT THIS IS ALSO GOOD YOU GUYS. I CAN’T LIE, I’M SO FUCKING HYPED RIGHT NOW??

TOGA YOU HAD BETTER FIT THAT FLASHBACK INTO A SINGLE CHAPTER THOUGH BECAUSE THE GOLDEN WEEK BREAK IS ALMOST HERE AND I S2G HORIKOSHI IF YOU PULL ANY BULLSHIT AND LEAVE ME HANGING FOR TWO WHOLE FUCKING WEEKS, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN MOTHERFUCKER

(ETA: THIS BITCH DOESN’T EVER LISTEN TO ME AND MY EMPTY THREATS. GODDAMMIT.)

oh my god. hype for days. you guys. this is amazing

[magic-owl]

i wish these had numbers to not take up room but alas: what is your absolute favorite ship? what’s a ship you like that most people don’t? what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion? (choose any of your fave pairings for the following bc I'm curious about all your faves) rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why. what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]? what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]? favorite AU ideas for [pairing]? what song(s) remind you of [pairing]?

Thank you my dear! You are my Star Wars Friend so I’ll keep it SW focused (if you wanted to ask this to solely find out what else I liked BESIDES SW sorry lol just let me know and I can redo it). This got long because turns out I have a lot to say about my ships so answers under the cut!!! xD

Absolute favorite ship: This one’s kinda hard but I’m gonna have to go with Obi Wan/Anakin! I also like them a lot as a trio with Padmé, but overall I gotta say these two are just my faves? Why? Because they are such a M E S S and gosh I just love them so much. Ppl say they don’t like each other very much but come on, have you watched the TCW, have you watched RotS, they’re the greatest team there ever was, they’re constantly fretting and worrying about each other, they’re always teasing (the constant banter omg boys pls) at each other and hyping the other up and believing in each other and Ahsoka literally calls them her adoptive guardians in the Ahsoka novel, that’s how much of a family they were and ugh they’re just so married. And they’re such a TRAGEDY and it breaks my heart and it’s delicious to watch because in the final fight it’s just heartbreaking betrayal because through it all they love each other so much and that’s WHY they’re so furious with each other because to them it feels like the ultimate betrayal. Even after (when after everything, Obi Wan still loved Anakin too much to kill him himself) they’re constantly on the other’s mind, and ugh the pain hurts but in such a good way, and how in the end Anakin did the right thing and Obi Wan was RIGHT THERE to help guide him back to the light in spirit and now they can rest happily together for eternity (with some spare stressing about, ya know, Kylo Ren and the impending return of Sidious, but never mind all that). and on top of that, it’s my fave because I also absolutely love their relationship platonically as well, as much as I LIKE to see them together, it’s not necessary for me because they have such an enjoyable dynamic. *coughs* Sorry, so yea, they’re my disaster faves! 😅

A ship I like that most people don’t: See above lol. I get aspects of the Obikin ship can be problematic in the whole power dynamic and age difference thing, but I’ve only ever shipped it after Anakin was knighted as an adult when there’s literally not a problem with it (it was weird for me because I watched the prequels totally out of order. I actually saw the TCW cartoon FIRST and then I saw RotS and then I didn’t watch the first two for a while after that because I was a fool and listened to prequel bashers who said the first two weren’t good, so when I started shipping them as adults that was all I saw them as). To be honest, for the most part the PT fandom is done with the drama since ya know, like a good half of the SW general fandom still hates us, so no one’s really vocal about not liking it and our shipping community is mostly left to ourselves, but every once in a while I’ll come across a joke post/fanart of the two and OP will be all snarky in the notes like “tag as a ship and I’ll come after you with my spiked bat” (someone’s exact words btw) and it’s like ok jeez, do not interact then, was minding my own business dude...

My most underrated ship: Hmmmm....... Gonna have to go between Luke/Ezra and Satine/Padmé. Skybridger I understand since they’ve literally never met in canon, but come ON, they’d get along like a house on fire and argh they should have met, it would be great. I honestly don’t get why Pads and Satine aren’t more of a thing (THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE AN OFFICIAL SHIPNAME ;_; ) cuz c’mon they’re the subtler explosive yin to Obi and Ani’s wildfire yang. They get along great and work together really well, and they both seem to have a type. I am doing them a little better in my new OT4 fic, and I hope ppl like it!!! Ya know what, I’m also gonna add Kaeden (cute girl from the Ahsoka novel!) and Ahsoka because even if a lot of ppl actually ship them, they hardly have any content and neED MORE DANGIT THEY WERE SO CUTE!!!!!!!

Gonna go with Obikin for all the following ones cuz I haven’t had the chance to gush about my boys in a while and you’ve opened Pandora’s box

Rate them from 1-10: 10, plus a hundred more points because I love them, then subtract that hundred again cuz Anakin is an gotdang idiot who ruined it and now they both make me cry. My scoring reasons are that they make me feel all the emotions and I love them Ever So Much and argh.

Fave headcanon: Oh boy, I’ve got a couple actually!

Whenever they’re talking/arguing over the phone, they’re always subconsciously mirroring each other’s actions even when they can’t see what the other is doing. It’s kinda creepy because you’ll hear yelling and it’ll look like one of them’s talking to an invisible person in front of them when it’s actually each other.

There has been multiple instances of them both getting injured in battle because they were distracted watching the other be a total badass (not that either will admit it)

Neither of them are morning people. AT ALL. Obi Wan actually has self-discipline and is able to get up with an alarm and crankily drag them both up, but both are almost impossible to deal with until they’ve had caffeine in them, and it’s been established that unless you want to risk murder, neither of them talks in the morning until caffeine has been provided.

There has been many, many cases of accidentally taking the other’s robe and not realizing it but thinking to themselves that said robe feels more comforting than usual today.

A mutually drunken arm wrestling match absolutely turned into a mutually drunken makeout once. Neither can remember it, and they wonder why some of the clones have been acting funny all week.

Half of the Temple thinks they’re already dating.

Ok I’ll stop it here

Fave Canon Moment: Ughhh, this is HARD. I really like the “any closer and you’d be kissing it” line in TCW, basically any moment in TCW when one of them refers to Ahsoka as “OUR padawan”, the extra long stares and unnecessary touches they give each other in TCW, the elevator scene in RotS movie (THE NOVEL MAKES IT A MILLION TIMES BETTER), also in RotS the way Anakin is half-ready to straight up fight Palpatine when he suggests leaving Obi Wan behind to die, the RotS “No loose wire jokes” bit, the RotS “Roger. Roger.” bit (OKAY JUST THE WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE), the way Vader built his big stupid castle where they had their breakup, the way he’s constantly mentioning Obi Wan when the convo wasn’t even about him, seeing them together again at the end of RotJ (whoops you asked for one, you get MANY SCENES)

Fave AU ideas: Again, there’s a couple!

Superpower AU: Can’t decide whether I’d put this in canon or modern. Most powers in this AU are stolen from inspired by X-Men, DC, and other popular media, so I’m torn between Anakin having Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix style powers while Obi Wan had a variation on Rogue’s with additional energy manipulation. OR it would be a thing where Anakin could commune with the dead a la Klaus from Umbrella Academy while Obes had sort of Avatar-style wind/flight powers. (Both are relevant for different plots).

Sith AU: I know these are far from unpopular in the SW fandom, but the way I’d do it would be to try and write two stories at once, update one every other week so one update a week total. The stories would what would happen if either of them became the Sith Apprentice after the events of Episode 1, and how their dynamic would be during Ep 2 and The Clone Wars with one of them on the other side. It’s funny because the way I’ve plotted it, the Sith!Ani fic would have very big Good Omens vibes, while the Sith!Obi one would have very strong Under the Red Hood vibes, so two VERY different dynamics going on xD

WWII Spies: This is one I 100% plan to write someday, even tho it is a very long time from now. It’s basically following Anakin as an American naval pilot who got injured in a crash and discharged. He still wants to serve and eventually his talent gets him into the intelligence end of the war and sent to Europe where he meets Ben, who’s been working with British intelligence since it broke out, and sparks fly. I’m kind of cheating here cuz as of now this is an Obianidala story, not just Obikin, but it’s one I’m very excited for

Phantom of the Opera AU: This idea I had when I realized that Anakin as Vader is kinda a Lot like the Phantom, but he’s also a Lot like Christine too. So it turned into Anakin as a talented ballet dancer getting preyed on by Palpatine!Phantom (there is NO romance there, Palpy is a total creep and will be treated as such) with Obi Wan as a combination of Raoul and Madame Gery and I have a bunch of ideas and idk if it’s gonna be an actual thing, but I want it to.

Shapeshifter AU: Canon, not very complicated but they can all shift into animals. Obi Wan is a kind of cougar panther cat with a fluffy ginger tail, and Anakin is a big grumpy black Krayt Dragon with a stump for a front leg.

Not A Jedi!AU: One in canon in which set like the Sith!AU, two different stories exploring how their dynamic would be if one of them wasn’t found by the Order. As of now, I’ve got Anakin as the warrior pirate prince of Tatooine, after having grown up and staged a slave rebellion, then promptly put his mother on the throne, and Obi Wan’s there to negotiate something during TCW and things happen. For the Obi Wan one, he’s a political journalist and war correspondent who keeps on running into Anakin’s assignments and popping up where he’s stationed and Anakin has to keep this idiot from getting himself killed/stop asking me annoying questions that criticize the Jedi and the government.

Dark!AU: A kind of morbid canon divergent fic where Padmé dies early and unexpectedly (Palps didn’t plan it). Anakin goes off the rails and Obi Wan agrees to go with him on a murder vengeance roadtrip to try and keep him from Falling or the Sith from getting to him. He kinda fails and they both Fall in a way and it ends with them hunting down Sidious’ players one by one. I’m not entirely sure I want to continue with this tho because it plays strongly on the Fridged Woman trope, which I can’t stand. I’d have to figure out how to give Padmé some sort of active role after her death...

Songs to describe them: There’s a couple (I could have very well gone cranky but I decided to do (mostly) serious))(also my music taste kinda stinks)

Icarus— Bastille

Anna Sun— WALK THE MOON

Animal I Have Become— Acoustic cover by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Three Days Grace) (seriously y’all listen it’s sooooo gooooood)

Warriors— Imagine Dragons

My Demons— STARSET

Ignorance— Paramore

Set Fire to the Rain— Adele

Stubborn Love— The Lumineers

How to Save A Life— The Fray (yes i am aware it is stereotypical angst song leave me Alone it FITS)

Viva la Vida— Coldplay (tbh this fits like the entire PT but I liked it)

Raised by Wolves— U2 (another more PT-centric, but this one works dangit)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Confrontation from Les Miserables (now that ya think of it, that would be a pretty good AU too.....)

Bonus Broadway Song! : The Tango Maureen from Rent (I always imagined this one as Obi Wan and Padmé about Anakin, but it would be about something other than cheating cuz canon has established Anakin views cheating as a worse crime than murder, so yea)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (aight this one’s mostly a joke but come ON don’t tell me that’s not completely them xD)

[lifeafterten]

RtN 02: Sept 02 -Sept 12; Get Me the FUCK Outta Here

I’ve been here for days. Who the fuck stays in the hospital for days?... Fucked up people. And I’m in Fucked-Upville-- Population (points to self) this mother fucker. 

Okay. Okay. I’m turning the drama down.  Honestly though... I’ve been here a fucking while. I have an I.V. tube in each arm, one for fluids, because I’m perpetually dehydrated, the other is for the antibiotics that don’t seem to be working, because I still feel like death. I have to often lay in awkward positions so I don’t tangle myself and make the machines go off. So. Much. Beeping. And I swear to Christ, if they come at you with a little blue bag and claim it’s potassium... RUN--Fucking run, because once they hook your ass up to that shit you’ll feel like they’re injecting fire into your veins and you can’t scream because let’s face it: you’re too damn tired, so you settle for some weird case of facial Tourettes in the form of wincing and hissing. And they turn the drip down enough for the fire to feel like a sting... and you feel that effervescent sting until it’s done. It’s “supposed” to take 30 minutes-- they say. But my pansy ass can’t take the heat so the slowed down version makes it last at least an hour and some change. I pray I’m not stubborn enough today to take the morphine.  Why won’t you take the morphine, Ashley? I’ll fucking tell you why-- I have control issues.  And the morphine feels too fucking good that I need the pain to remind me that I’m still alive and to gauge between dream and reality.

At this point I’m agitated (by pain and impatience). I’ve been stuck by damned needled so many times, because of all the bloodletting I’ve been doing.  These assholes have been taking my life source (no, not coffee, you freak) twice a day. Oh, I’m sorry, they’ve been taking my “blood cultures” twice a day.

Why? They don’t say. They tell me to ask my doctor. My doctor is a pussy.  Soft spoken; pussy footing fucking pussy, who can’t give me a straight answer.

I dismiss my doctor more than a person dismisses alcoholism. Day drinking is not a bad thing. Who cares if it’s barely noon and you’ve been drinking since 9. ... Not speaking from experience-- Anyway!

I dismissed my doctor a lot. I couldn’t help it. I’ve been laying up in this bitch for weeks and you can’t give me some indication of what’s going on; let alone a time frame of when I’ll be able to go home-- on top of a mother fucking reason why I’m being kept in here for so damn long? Yeah. Fuck that shit. Dismissed, mother fucker. I have no fucks to give for useless asshats. Come talk to me when you can tell me what the fuck’s up. 

I’ve been moved to three or four rooms. From the ER bed to Surgery... Then to another room in Surgery... to the Telemetry ward, because my heart rate was too high-- which honestly I’m not surprised... I’ve been on permanent pissed the hell off for quite some time now.  They take my vitals every 30 minutes.  I’ve been counting because I literally have nothing else to do, besides... I only feel that it’s fair that I monitor them while they monitor me. But mostly it’s because I’m bored and there’s nothing on TV.  By now I’ve refused visitors.  I’ve dodged death a couple times.

Homicide via Mio overdose: Backstory: I asked for Mio, because they kept saying I was dehydrated and I thought I needed electrolytes like a muh’fug, so when my friend Kris came by (note she had no idea what Mio was let alone how to use it) and had dumped an entire bottle of Mio (24 servings) into my water jug (16 - 24 oz tops). I take one sip of it and I thought I was gonna die. Chest was on fire. My machines were going crazy, because I was coughing my lungs out and poor Kris is panicked and distraught. Its hard to convey you’re okay if you’re croaking like you’ve been smoking for about 300 years and your vision is obscured by tears. Sidenote: The incident still brings her to tears to this day, she feels so bad. Personally, I think it’s adorable and funny... Now, at the time...? Owie.

Suicide via Mother doth Love too much: I love my mother. I do. I love my entire family. But they like to hover and it was stifling. They’re looking at me with worried eyes when they think I’m asleep and I get it.  It doesn’t look good, kid.  My sister? God love her, she tries to keep the worry and her tears in check because she knows I don’t know how to handle them.  My Dad? Shit, my dad knows what’s up. He knows I’m gonna handle my shit the only way I know how. On my own terms. This is why I’m a daddy’s girl. My brother and sister in law on the other hand? My bother spilled water down the front of my gown (had to change that shit. not fun) and his wife, in her efforts to break my fever, stuffed my fresh new gown with ice packs.. And when I say ice packs, I mean latex gloves filled with ice stuffed in my gown. Stuffed. In. My. Fucking. Gown. That’s it-- I’ve had it! Everyone’s banned.

And it’s also hard to put on a tough front when all I wanna do is cry, but I end up just being angry instead.

The only human interaction I had is when the nurses are taking my blood, or my vitals, or switching my IV bags, or helping me to the bathroom to do bathroom things, or giving me sponge baths because I’m too weak to get out of bed, or shooting morphine into my body to ease my torment; or shoving pills down my fucking throat because nothing is fucking working. I’m still getting fevers out of nowhere.  People are coming in and out every morning to lift my gown up (they do it so much they don’t even ask anymore. A brief thought of charging them crosses my mind, and I allow a small giggle. Because it’s silly, because I’m glad I still had somewhat of a sense of humor.) Still, I think my cooter deserves some ounce of respect. Women’s lib and all that crap. I’ve turned this part of the day into a game (I’m SO fucking bored). I like to spot the face tightening moment when they assess whatever the fuck is going on with my leg (I don’t know. I haven’t seen... I don’t want to see yet). 

It’s fun for me, because they’re medical professionals-- they’re supposed to be used to this kind of thing. But the face tightening? To me that’s a victory. That just means they have to school their expressions to indifference so as to not alarm me. Ah, bed side manner.  They’re so sweet. But I know just by their non-expressions that it looks fucked up. I have to look at the small details; read between the lines of what they’re not telling me.  I’d be in the dark otherwise. What are they not telling me? I know they’re testing for something... But I don’t know what they’re testing for. I stamp down fear, because I don’t have enough data to panic.

My dreams are getting scarier, because of the morphine. No more morphine, I promise myself. Vicodin only.  Yeah, that seems safer. The nurses, I’ve learned, just need someone to listen to them. Since I can’t get a decent night’s sleep because they’re fucking coming in every 15 to 30 minutes all day, every day, all the fucking time... Why the fuck not? I got nowhere else to be. I seem to have opened Pandora’s Box, because it’s 3am and I’m giving life advice to Agnes who has a very rebellious son, whom I point out is 16 years old and he’s going through a phase, it doesn’t mean she’s a bad mother.  Which I reminds me that I need to tell Doris who’s part of the Day crew that Agnes is off on Wednesdays too and that they should hangout together, because I think they would get along. I make a mental note to pass Agnes’ number to Doris later. I really should start charging... This pro bono shit aint working out. 

During my hospital stay I’ve managed the following:

Make only 4 nurse assistants cry

Befriend most if not all the Filipino nurses (they gave me all the apple sauce I wanted)

Make that one stern Indian Night Nurse smile (she gave me yogurt and bananas every time she was on shift)

Counsel only 5 to 6 nurses, mostly 5.. the 6th one kinda got weird. Didn’t take whatever she gave me.

Snob my doctor almost every day. 

Made my main nurse laugh because she thinks I’m a riot. 

Days later it was time for me to go home. I knew this for damned sure.  I saw so many specialists from an infectious disease doctor to a surgeon. I was so fucking bloated from all the fluids they were trying to fill me with that they could barely find veins to stab to get their precious blood cultures from. 

I also decided that with my body like this the Mitchelin tire man was my cousin.

Sidenote: To hell with the Infectious Disease doctor. That heifer made me lay on my side for two fucking days straight. Fat load that shit did for me. With all the extra fluids in my body, it just shifted to one side. All it gave me was a backache and lopsided boobs... and some fucking fluid in my lungs. Fucking devil woman. I got a fucked up leg, I’m the size of a float during the Macy’s Day Parade, and now I got lopsided tits. It’s funny... now. At the time? Not so much. It was September 12.  I had broken out in a rash due to an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics. (Let’s just add that to the list of whatever the fuck else is wrong with my body, shall we?) My “doctor” (doesn’t deserve the title nor respect. Sorry not sorry) was trying to get me to stay a few more days. I’ve had quite enough. I told him to get the discharge papers ready. I’m leaving. My fevers were gone. My leg wasn’t draining so badly anymore (ew, gross. sorry) I felt fine. Despite me constantly checking my hands so they don’t try to scrape my skin off. Fucking hell I was so itchy. I didn’t need to be in here. That’s when the good doctor decided to divulge that I hurt his feelings and that I was his least favorite patient. (Boo freakity hoo.) But I was a good girl and let him talk, said all the appropriate things. ... He’s still a pussy.  He was glad to be rid of me and the feeling was more than fucking mutual. I did not tell him to get fucked. I did not tell him to suck my dick. I did not flick him off. I did not throw shit at him. I was rather proud of myself. I showed great restraint.  But I did point out that just because he had the “MD” attached to his name, does not mean automatic respect. Respect is earned Dr. Pussy foot.  I signed the paperwork with relish. Jessie came to pick me up and I was whisked off to spend my mandatory (couldn’t argue my way outta that one) bed rest at the Joseph’s.  I’m so tired of laying down. TBC...

[fernlomwrites]

Chronicles of Tenaria: A Surprise Guest

“Ahhh, a body once more just for myself” Pinstripe rose to his feet “So, musicians. To Portland we go?”

“Unfortunately yes. And by unfortunately, I mean being stuck with you unfortunately” Cal spoke first, walking up to face Pinstripe.

“Easy Cowboy, you think this is my first rodeo?”

“What do you know of rodeos clown?”

Pinstripe drew a blade from his sleeve and pointed it to Cal’s neck “Watch your words farm boy. I’m no clown.”

“You two aren’t seriously about to start fighting in a super speeding bus right?” A new voice asked from the front of the bus.

“The hell?”

Pinstripe sighs and turns to face the voice “Aaron. How’d you get in here flea bag?”

At the front of the bus, standing next to Brady was a white furred cat man, in an old military blazer, torn jeans, and converse shoes. His hands were wrapped in boxing bandages, his metal hands seen underneath. In the center of his chest was a small triangular patch of black fur. His eyes were a mix of greys, greens, and yellows. His tail sways as he walked to the band

“Brady picked me up. None of you noticed? Good” He chuckles with a slight purr “So, OFFKeys, when did you start letting killers join the band?”

“Why, you jealous Aaron?” Pinstripe stood only inches apart from Aaron “Huh Kitty?”

“More like offended that you didn’t pick me. I am much more deadly than this guy”

Pinstripe scoffed “seriously?”

“Yah seriously. You know how easily I can kill you. But that’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here groovy cat man?~”

Aaron chuckles and smiles at Jenny “Guys, I have a pregnant wife at home waiting for me, I’m only here to give you this”

He tosses Dr. Krins a simple flip phone

“On that phone are numbers to some, ‘important’ friends of mine, and my own. If you are ever in a pickle and need help, use it.”

“And why are you giving them this?” Pinstripe took the phone. “What do you gain from this?”

“Good Karma mostly. I’ve done some messed up stuff after I got my mind back. That and, I know what happened Pinstripe. You aren’t Ronald Thronic anymore aren’t you?’

“No, right now I am... you! Cowboy! What is the name of this mortal I am possessing again?”

“Deputy Allen Harmons. “

“There you go. Deputy Allen Harmons.”

“You took over a cop? That’s shocking”

“Are you just going to stand there and mock me?”

“Yes. Until we get to Portland of course”

Pinstripe sighs “Is Hood coming too?”

“He’s going to meet us in Portland. Lilith isn’t too happy he’s not taking her, but whatever. I wanted Emma to come, but she decided against it.”

“I don’t care about your marriage problems Aaron. “

“I know you don’t. I just like mentioning that I am married. “

“Aaron I will stab you”

“And I’ll break your legs”

“Ok, I’m stepping in here” Mike walks up and stands between the two “Aaron, we appreciate your help. Pinstripe remember that we allowed you to come”

“You threatening me metal head?”

“Damn right, now sit your classy ass down. You too Aaron. We aren’t fighting in the bus.”

Pinstripe steps closer to Mike, silent. His hands twitch slightly, deciding whether or not killing him would be a bad idea. Mike’s expression was stern, with a fire in his eyes telling Pinstripe he was ready for a fight.

“Fine” Pinstripe turned away and walked back to Harmon’s seat and sat down. He reached up and slowly removed the mask, returning Harmons to control.

“Huh…where am I? I-…is that a cat?”

“Hi, I’m Aaron. Here to help”

“Cat man…fluffy white cat man…”

“Yes, very fluffy, and soft too. Is he always this dopey?”

“Not normally” Dr. Krins stands up and takes the mask away “Well, not this much at least”

“Cut him some slack though, you are a cat. It’s a bit of a shock” Clarice sat next to Harmons “I still think you are weird. And I don’t know how you ever got married”

“Really? You want to rethink that last sentence?”

Clarice blushed and looked back to Aaron “I-I mean…n-not like…”

“Yah, too late. Forget it anyway”

“Seriously Clare…” Mike shakes his head “Was that necessary?”

“I’m Sorry! It bugged me! Who?! Who would marry him, let alone get pregnant by him?! A Freak proably!”

“Clare!” The sudden sternness of Mike’s shout made each band member quickly turn to him. Aaron slowly walked up to Clarice, his body language was strangely calm.

“Her name is Emma. I saved her life, and in a way she saved mine. You really think she’s a freak? Do you think I am a freak?”

Nothing about his tone said he was angry, his voice was such a calm, even melody it made Clarice shiver.

“N-no sir…”

“Don’t call me sir Clarice. I am no sir, I am an animal. A beast. A killer. Save your respect for someone who deserves it. Not me.”

“Y-yes s-sir…I mean Aaron…”

“Thank you. And don’t worry, I don’t hurt girls”

“T-thank you”

“But”

“B-but?”

Aaron leans in close to her face, his eyes locked with her own

“You can insult me all you want. But you insult my wife again” He unwrapped the bandages around his right hand, showing the metallic skeleton remains “I will forget my little rule about hurting girls”

Almost on que, Clarice fainted at the sight of his hand, and fell into Harmon’s lap.

“Are you serious though?” Eric approached Aaron, his glasses off “Would you really hurt her?”

“Of course not. I don’t hurt girls. I just said that to scare her into not doing it again. No one insults my wife”

“You know we’d never let you hurt her right?” Eric stood closer.

Aaron chuckles “You think I don’t know your powers? I am a government made assassin. I know each of your abilities and how to counteract them.” He stepped close to Eric. “Try and stop me tech boy. You don’t scare me. Now sit down, I’m not going to hurt her, or any of you, unless you try me.”

“Sit down Eric.” Cal set a hand on Eric’s shoulder “Aaron is right. And Clare was stupid for insulting his wife. “

“Fine…but can I ask you a question?”

“Sure”

“What did you mean by counteract?”

“Usually decapitation”

“Glad I asked”

“Aren’t you just?”

Eric gulps and sits down, Aaron sits between Pandora and Jenny.

“Can I feel your fur?” Pandora was looking intently at him, as if she has been waiting for years to ask.

“Of course. Any one can. Surprised it took you this long to ask”

Pandora slowly sets her hand on his chest, and her eyes suddenly widen as her jaw drops “You are so soft!”

“Well yah~” Aaron lets out a soft purr “Jenny? You want to feel?”

“Sure cat man~” Jenny chuckles lightly as she also softly brushes his fur “Nice~”

“Agreed~” Aaron chuckles “Brady? How much longer till Portland?”

“Fifteen minutes!”

“Alright then, fifteen minutes for anything”

Mike tosses Aaron a beer “Thirsty right?”

“Very. Much appreciated”

The two smile and open their drinks as the bus speeds towards its first stop.

--------------------------

Chrono Link

[noonewasharmedinthisxenarecap]

Season One: Cradle of Hope

Season one is starting to feel like we are alternating important redemption arc stories with unnecessary and forgettable stories. Since Dreamworker was our important story, episode four is our filler episode. Episode four, Cradle of Hope.

Look its not as bad as Chariots of War, but its not terribly great. Lucy’s eyes look incredibly blue in some shots which is nice but not much about it stands out.

So without further ado, lets head into it.

We open with King Gregor and his advisor Nemos being told by an oracle that Moses will take the Pharoah’s throne. Sorry no thats not quite right. Some random toddler will grow up to take King Gregor’s throne. Easy to get confused when you use one cultures legends to influence an episode. 

Now everything you need to know about King Gregor and Nemos you can see here:

Thats right. King Gregor is mullet man. His wife and child died 6 months ago and now he lives alone in his empty castle. Memos is clearly evil. You can tell that from the ridiculous facial hair and the fact that his skin looks plastic. I have no idea what his story is or his motivations but he is obviously the bad guy in this episode.

So true to form, the Pharaoh, i mean Gregor orders a manhunt to find this baby usurper and bring him to the castle. Remember that. The king does not order his death so he is slightly better than Pharaoh. To save the baby, random servant girl puts him in a basket and sends him down the river.

And who should find the baby:

These faces tell you everything. Gabby is overjoyed. Look how lovingly she is looking at the baby. Xena on the other hand is bemused and so unhappy that they know have a baby in their charge. No maternal instincts in our warrior princess. They decide its not a good idea to keep the baby so they head into the town just up river to find its mother. 

Along the way, our heroes stumble upon an angry mob trying to hang a woman. Xena taunts them and then using her charm cuts the woman down. She then uses the same rope to string up the “leader” scaring off the mob. The woman does not seem very grateful to have her life saved, but given the way Gabrielle reacted when she finds out the woman is Pandora who can blame her. Yep thats right, Pandora and her box are in this episode. Because why have one myth when you can have two and from different cultures. So Pandora joins the gang and off we go. 

Meanwhile in the castle, Nemos apparently hates babies. He seems really set on the fact that he needs to kill this baby that he is trying to convince the King its a brilliant idea. I have no idea why Nemos is so concerned with killing the baby I don't know what his motivation is, i don't know what he gets out of it. I don't know why he is doing this. Nowhere in the episode is any of this made clear to me. He is evil just because he is and he wants to kill the baby because the script says so. makes zero sense but i guess every episode needs a bad guy.

The gang heads into a tavern and Xena is forced to leave her weapons at the door and doesn't put up a fight. She does notice that the innkeeper seems to be shifty but doesn't mention they should leave or anything. Nemos arrives because the innkeeper sent for him and of course we go to commercial with a shot of xena glancing at her weapons which are hanging at the door, just to remind us that she is currently unarmed. But it turns out that Xena is resourceful. She takes a sip of her drink and we are treated to our very first shot of this:

FYI that is actually Lucy breathing fire. She learned how to do it for the show. Lucy is brilliant.

The fight carries on, she manages to get to her weapons before throwing her charm at a soldier and the charm embeds itself in his chest. Seriously it is sticking in his chest as he falls to the floor. Thats the first time we have ever seen the charm do that. Im surprised that was allowed to stay in on the family friendly season one. Nemos and his mates get their asses handed to them but he manages to grab the box on his way out.

Xena clearly pissed off decides to put the pinch on the innkeeper. She could have asked him for answers first but she decides to do the pinch before asking him if he will talk. Not sure why she went that drastic so soon but we finally get to see Xena and her signature move. The innkeeper seems to know everything that has happened with the King since the oracle arrived and I'm starting to worry about what other secrets are spilling out of that castle. Loose lips sink ships people.

Back at the castle King Gregor and Nemos remind us that Xena has only been good for 3.5 episodes as they discuss how ruthless and horrible she is and how clearly she wants to team up with the baby to take over the kingdom. Long bow boys. low bow boys.

Xena, Gregor and Nemos meet up in the same tavern. Must be the only tavern in town. King Gregor is not here to play games. He has heard about xena after all:

King:  “What would a flag of truce mean to a cold-blooded murderer?  I know who you are.  And you disgust me.  You swept across countless nations, and saw the world tremble at your feet. But my people are not gonna be your next victims.  If it means my death, or the death of this-- child, so be it.”

I think Lucy plays this very well. Her facial expression for this scene is perfect. 

Xena clearly doesn't want the King to know that she is thrown by his comments. He doesn't know her from a bar of soap. He doesn't know she is on this path of redemption. No words are going to convince him when her past actions show so much. No if he thinks i’m cold-hearted i don't want him to think i’m weak. But at the same time she is clearly hurt by his words. She is trying to do the right thing here. How long before word spreads of her good deeds. How long will she need to face this kind of scrutiny. How long until people trust her. Its subtle but it shows so much.

Fast forward, Xena infiltrates the castle, pretends to be a dancing girl and tries to rescue the box from Nemos. But she is thwarted by Gregor who has chosen the wrong moment to start to distrust Nemos. Gregor decides the box would be safer with him and take off. So Xena lets herself be chosen was Nemos’ bedtime buddy and uses the opportunity to get some info out of Nemos about the layout of the castle before knocking him out.

Xena makes her way into Gregor’s room, past the shrine to his dead wife and son, and finds Gregor praying to his dead son. She knocks him, takes the box and buggy jumps out the window. There is a ridiculous running through the market sequence and a slow motion camera shot of Xena getting the box to Pandora just in time to reset the switch.

Xena having decided that Gregor is not a bad guy, and he clearly doesn't want to kill babies until Nemos, decides to give the baby to Gregor so he can adopt him. She tells Gregor that the baby will take the throne but as his heir not his conqueror. Everything is sunshine and roses until Nemos barges in claims Xena is manipulating the King causing Xena to rip the baby out of Gregor’s arms and runs off.

Cut to our town square battle. Be warned there is baby tossing. Xena throws the baby to Gabby, fights a few guys, then Gabby throws the baby to Xena because you know, Xena is only fighting the kings guard. Xena is carrying the baby rather unsafely as she fends off a number of fighters. Thankfully that is a doll because there is no way she has a good grip on the baby. Then baby goes up and baby comes down before Xena tosses the baby to Gabby again.

Memos joins the fight and oddly gets the upper hand on Xena very quickly. Its usual and weird. But its ok. As Nemos brings his sword down on xena she catches the blade between her two palms and uses it against him before killing him with it. The crowd goes wild. The townspeople are very very happy that Nemos is dead. Makes me want to know his story even more. Was he terrorising the townspeople? Was this civil war they all mention started by Nemos? Does he go around killing babies often? what is his deal.

Gregor gets the baby. Pandora gets the box. Pandora moves into the castle to become a mother to the baby. Instant family. They don't even know each other. How does Gregor know that Pandora is not a crazy person? Whatever his life i guess.

Gabby and Xena are checking out the box. Gabby knocks it over and guess what. Its empty. Because Hope is in all of us. Cheesy season one ending line.

Summary

Look i’ve seen worse episodes. It mixes two myths together and we don't spend enough time in the Pandora situation for it to mean something. We could have stuck with the Pharaoh situation and the story wouldn't be missing anything. Its a standalone episode that has no bearing on the redemption arc. We do get that nice little moment when Xena realises her past is not so easy to outrun but its not pivotal to the overall episode. 

TL;DR: King is worried random baby will take his throne. Lets evil advisor go after baby without realising that advisor clearly loves killing babies. Pandora is there for some reason. There is baby tossing and then King adopts baby and Pandora with everyone living happily ever after.

*All screen caps taken/borrowed from http://www.angelbacchae.com

[bigbrothermonopoly]

EPISODE 4:

HOH: ANDREW

EVICTED: SILENCE 8-4

JESS: 

Pandora's box. You are kidding me right? I'm done. bye.

JESS:

Actually jk jk. I'm not done. Clearly this was an inside job. Two people pooled their money together and clearly got it. The real question is... will this get back to me or not. I'm so discouraged right now. I feel like for some reason people don't trust me? I'm going for HOH right now but I ALSO don't want to hear what other people think I should do with it if I get it.BUT also I should worry about that if/when it happens. WE ARE MANIFESTING THIS WIN LADIES! This are still too shaky in this house. I need more answers. I need more people. I just need a pint and a side hoe and I'm good. Everyone seems to be pairing up and I feel like I have no one to turn to right now. We got: Kristine and Chris Brien and Madison Eve and Mackenzie APPARENTLY: Dem and Andrew Austin and Silence Gwen and herself.. Kori and his "I'm in the army" references Me and my paranoia. THAT'S A LOT OF DUO'S in this game. ugh. I JUST NEED A PERSON someone I can trust. Someone who I know is going to ride with me for a while and I just don't see that happening. Which means crackhead Jess will come out eventually. So yeehaw. Also Eve wanting to take out people I'm close with like Will and Brien... no. NO. NOPE. Not happening. 

EMMA:

I think i am safe this week right now i am just trying to maintain my relationships in the house its still a little bit hard to see whos in power but i am told i am safe this week i hope i can win either week 5 or week 6 hoh because thats when those hoh effects the game.

KRISTINE:

IMMA TELL U WHATS UP!!! My life is a mess. I bought a property and Emma has the other one. We just need to find out who has the last one. And I swear to lord Jesus if it’s Gwen I’m going to be PISSEDDDD. That girl has got to goooo. I’m really nervous about Andrew being HOH because I know Chris is in danger and he’s literally my #1 person in this game. Me him and Emma need to make it through this round. I hate that Chris made an alliance that included Gwen and Brian. Since Brian knows our secret and Gwen is a great social player and honestly a comp threat that no one is taking notice of. It IS only round 4 which is fine but still... I don’t want to compete against someone like Gwen. Because I’ve trusted that person before and got super screwed. Thankfully, Chris agrees with me. Anyways. Please send me more money :))) my Venmo is https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2882981236572160313 PLEASE SEND MONEY

JESS:

Who gave out free samples of crack to the house? Last night I had a weird call with Eve. Essentially it seems like she wants Mackenzie to be given a power of the next property we buy so she can control the power via Mackenzie. I feel so bad for Mackenzie because when I've spoken to her she seems kind of discouraged about the way Eve talks to her sometimes. Which I totally get because I'm sometimes kind of shook by it all.  I reassured Mackenzie not to take it personally I just think Eve gets a tad bit overexcited with everything and kind of just shoots her shot. BUT. If these bitches think I'm their bitch they are GREATLY mistaken. In what world does me not getting the power this time when I literally gave up a property and money for Eve to get a power last time, work? If I was them I'd be throwing the power at my someone who isn't in the duo to make me feel safe and secure. I'm not giving up money and another power again, it ain't happening again. Kristine is all in my pm's now trying to figure out what is going now when it soooo transparent she doesn't trust me. Either Emma told her what I said about her and I not talking or homegirl really thinks that I haven't been hearing that she was leaking I was in a trio with Tawni and Gwen last round? Andrew being in power is good for me. He said he won't be putting me up, Eve wastes her power (although I kind of wanted it for us Chris going opens up the game a little more and takes a number away from the other "side" I see forming), and I think Andrew doing this will put some doubt into people's heads. This is all good for my game because it pushes another couple targets in front of me. My only concern right now is that Eve is going to expose that I traded her for that property.

KORI:

Alright checklist for the past 24 hours... Got both utilities to make the Monopoly... Check. Received the option to Open Pandora's Box as a result, and Opened it... Check. Is likely to get fucked over as a result of whatever twist comes of it... Check. Lost HoH and wasn't even close with Andrew winning it... Check. Was told that I was supposedly safe this week by the HoH... Check. Watched the Light Blue Properties get snagged with not much way to speculate who has them... Check. Missed out on $80 in Live Comps because I stayed after a bit at work and was driving... Fucking Check. I think that's everything, guess now I'm just gonna twiddle my thumbs a bit and hope Andrew isn't gonna nominate or backdoor me.

AUSTIN:

Su Andrew is HoH this week and he has nominated Madison and Silence for eviction but....I heard that he wants to backdoor Chris. I’m 100% ok with Chris going home because he always wants information from me but he never wants to give me any info in return. I was also picked for veto and I do not want to win because my Power Trap alliance wants the veto not to be used while my Mandela Monocles alliance wants it used on Silence so either way it goes if I won I would be screwed. Basically I threw the veto competition.

CHRIS:

HAHAHAHAH , if this isn’t a backdoor, I’m stupid. I know this is the case. For all that don’t know, me and Andrew are rivals because I targeted him in the last HoH competition and had people go after him. This caused him to be very butt hurt and a little bitch. Like bro , it’s a HoH completion where your dominating.. of course I’m going to go after you. I don’t care you called me safe, you are a threat since day one. Now I have Dem coming to me telling me all this information like bro.. what is you doing 😂. Thanks for feeding me information, you are not even in my final 5 but thanks for helping me ! This house is great and I know this backdoor won’t go through unless I’m over my head. Andrew , next time you have a chance, you should of gone for the head. 

ANDREW:

episode 4 So my plan for this week as of right now I’m gonna nominate madison and silence because they didn’t message me saying anything If chris gets picked for veto eve is going to use her veto redraw Hopefully veto is used by the winner I backdoor Chris Baby goes bye bye But also this pandora’s box is more than likely to fuck with me this week :/ My prediction is vote flip but i’m just going to carry on as normal cause i can’t ruin my game due to paranoia also my top 2 allegiances rn are Eve and Jess Lowkey scary that im not in any set alliances yet cuz i know there do be some probably But its okay bc it might work to my advantage later on when im the free agent that these whores need ALSO MARk my words here. If William nominates me when he gets hoh hes a fucking FRAUD he made a deal w me safety for safety and its a good thing cause i was going to nominate his ass instead of silence So far everything is going according to plan and Chris will be out of the house by the end of this week, Obviously if me silence or madison win there will be veto use William said he would use veto aswell Only thing: i’m rly bad at puzzles I lowkey hate that I talk so much in the house chat but I cant help it............I dont want peeps to think im annoying...Sorry I just wnt to contribute to everything its like a disease There is no better feeling than having Chris shake in his boots :heart: You rly fucked with the wrong twink babe He thinks he has the votes to stay. I just have to laugh Especially since he tried to discredit me telling him I was a threat to his game with the simple words of "Bet" Bitch Ill show u bet rq. This is gonna be a split vote i cant wait for this to potentially blow up in my face I am deadass providing a list for SIlence on people he needs to campaign to Like this bitch is not leaving the house My loyalties 

GWEN:

I really want Chris to stay. We’ve become really close in this game. People don’t know how close we actually are. If they did, my alliance would probably just want him out. The vote will be split, and sides will be chosen. Eve is trying to threaten everyone into voting Chris out. She is saying it’s a unanimous vote. Please. It’s clearly split. She needs to goooooo. Please please Chris stay!!

JESS:

What a fucking mess this vote is. This is what happens when cocky people get cocky and assume they have people on lock. I adore Eve and Andrew but... they should have thought this out a little better. I just.. I'm just.. I'm fucking livid. I don't get where Miss Thing Evelyn gets off saying stuff like "That’s my plea, stick your neck out and you will be rewarded". What are you going to reward me with? You warming the seat on the block for me after I'm gone because I sided with you? Thanks but if I wanted a seat warmer I'd go to Target not Walmart. But in all honesty, it's not like I don't want to do this move. I 10000% was into the idea but that's because I was sold the dream of it. I thought Andrew had more pull than he actually does. I knew Eve didn't have as much pull as she thought but Andrew I was wrong about. I was in a decent spot. I think? Kind of cruising the middle and now that spot is being blown up because it is CLEAR Andrew/Eve don't want to be the only ones to take the fall for this move. BUT.. I don't trust Dem to 1000% not get paranoid and flip and I don't want to be sitting on the sinking ship fucking alone. Dem is apparently going to just vote Chris so I guess I'm going to vote for Chris and hope for the best at this point. 

AUSTIN:

This week has been CRAZY! Basically Andrew won HoH and he wants Chris gone but he wants to backdoor him so he puts up Madison and Silence. Madison ends up winning the veto and Andrew replaces her spot with Chris. My dilemma is that I am in an alliance with Chris and Silence. I think Chris needs to go first because he is very sketchy. Also Silence can go next week easily. On top of all of this, I have been put in 2 alliances that I didn’t even know were forming. Each alliance wants somebody different to go home but I’m hoping that we have enough votes to evict Chris. 

JESS:

Also Brien is a shady ass hoe and I will be exposing his relationship if he fucks me with this vote. Plus, I knew his ass bought a property and traded it Emma with Kristine and didn't tell me. He's keeping secrets from me and I'm not playing this game like season 1 Sansa I'm playing this game like last season Cersei. No fucks given. I'll probably die soon. His ass is playing the middle and if I win he is going UP. Sorry but this isn't the Bachelor it is BIG BROTHER.

WILLIAM:

I'm so excited cause it looks like this is the vote that will get the game going! I love everyone and want to stay together but like I'm so ready to draw this line in the sand and cause some chaos going!

WILLIAM:

I dont know what Eve's deal is with this threatening game tactic, telling people "The vote will be 12-0" or "Is you dont vote with me it will be a mistake" but I cant wait to see her face come eviction night 😈

KRISTINE:

Absolutely no way in hell i'm letting Chris get evicted. I refuse to let my #1 ally go home because of Andrew's ego being bruised. I'm hoping that my deal with Emma and Brien goes through and that she is able to use the power to basically threaten everyone into voting the way that they said they were going to vote. Again, I REFUSE to let Chris go home this week. Not that I have anything against Silence because he's just like... there but I'm more worried about who is staying versus who needs to go. Anyways, Emma better not be lying about using this power now... or else I will come for her. Chris is like my little brother who is older then me and I will protect him at all costs that I can!

EMMA:

MACKENZIE:

i am NOT looking forward to this vote??? i still don’t know what im doing but i think this is going to be a shitshow

KORI:

So Kristine has dropped a shit load of Tea on me, which has led me to question everything. APPARENTLY there's a Gwen-Chris-Kristine-Brien Alliance. Additionally there was a Chris-Austin-Dem-Kristine alliance. (Though that 2nd one is kaputz with Austin wanting Chris out and Dem being upset with Austin.) Emma got that Vote Reveal which presumably, Myself and Jess know, and I can only imagine Kristine and Brien probably know given they were the other Light Blue property holders that both agreed to give the properties to Emma. So at the very least that's not a power I have to outright fear because I know who has it, I know what the Utilities did. (Sortof, still waiting on that Pandora's Box) The Browns are presumably gone assuming that Veto Shuffle was a one time thing. (That power honestly makes sense since Early on it's Useful but later in the game it'd be worthless.) Unfortunately either Eve or me is being hustled and given that Eve has a biased opinion others know about in relation to this vote, I'm liable to believe more people would lie to Eve about voting Chris than me just because I'm not a biased person right now. If it weren't for the heart to heart me and Chris had as well as really hashing it out with Gwen I don't think I'd be keeping Chris, however based on what I know about the Chris-Dem-Kristine relationship (Thanks Kristine) I doubt Dem was actually with Eve for the vote anyway, which means for Chris to go I'd have had to convince either Gwen or Emma to vote him out which we all know is against their best interests. My best bet right now is to try and recover from any blunders from this round with as much social capital I can walk away with and hope whatever happens with Pandora's Box doesn't just completely screw me over. I'm just ready for this headache of a week to be over, but given it's a live comp next, I'm expecting this next round to be just as trash.

[daebakinc]

Mind Tricks (I)

Summary: When a coworker offers you a magical solution to your one-sided office crush, you’re desperate enough to take it with unexpected results. Pairing: Junmyeon x OC Genre: CEO AU, Magic, Fluff, Smut

“You’re welcome.”

“Excuse me?” You turn around from your desk to look at your teammate with a half smile.“Your last free coffee’s already waiting by your desktop, genius.  A week is all we agreed to when you helped me with that presentation.”

“Wrong answer.” Baekhyun smirks and pushes off the counter he was leaning on to saunter into your shared corner. He flops into his seat. “The correct answer is: ‘Thank you so much, Baekhyun, my best friend in the world, for solving my weeks long inability to make a move on my crush.'”

“Could you be any louder?” you hiss, desperately throwing a glance over your shoulder. Thankfully, everyone within hearing distance is either late or still too deep in their morning stupor to pay attention to your loudmouth friend. “And it is not a crush. I-”

“Oh, it is so a crush,” Baekhyun chuckles. He does lower his voice though as he continues, “I was sitting right beside you when he first came in. Kim Junmyeon, Human Relations extraordinaire, here to make us the most fantastic team in the city. You were all moon eyed from the start. That’s not to mention everything else.” He starts ticking off on his fingers. “First, you’re like the teacher’s pet in his meetings when you normally just observe in those things. Second, you started eating in the downstairs cafeteria, where he eats, instead of in the floor break room. Third, your voice gets a pitch higher when you talk to him; thank god you don’t do that fake laugh thing some girls do or I’d disown you. Fourth-”

“My voice does not get higher,” you cut in. You cross your arms in warning, but he persists.

“Yes, Mr. Kim, here are the surveys you wanted,” Baekhyun teases in a falsetto, fanning himself. “I’m so sorry they’re late. I just got lost in those sparkling brown eyes-”

“One more word and I am never saving your ass from a bad date again.”

“Okay, okay.” Baekhyun raises his hands in surrender, but his smile is still in place. He reaches into his jacket pocket, toying with something. “Does that mean you’re not interested in what I got you?”

Turning back to your computer, you gamely reply, “Correct. Thanks, but no thanks. Knowing you, I don’t want to know.”

“Well, I’m going to give it to you anyway because that’s what friends do.”

Soft fabric brushes your arm, accompanied by a dull thunk. Glancing to the side you see a lilac velvet pouch, no bigger than your hand, kept closed with a thin gold string. “A bag is going to solve my problems?”

“Open it. Unless you really meant you didn’t want to know.”

You take another look at the bag. It looks like an antique, a bit battered but obviously high quality at one point. Like Pandora’s box, it gives no hints of its contents. Instead, it begs to be opened, to have its secrets revealed. Your mother always warned you that curiosity killed the cat. However, you’d always retorted that satisfaction brought it back and like the proverbial cat, you often depend on those extra lives. Your eyes flick over to Baekhyun. He’s trying to look invested in his inbox. The eager tap of his fingers and smile still tickling the corner of his mouth give him away.

“I hate that you know me so well,” you grumble with a sigh. Saving your work, you undo the gold knot and reach inside the pouch.

The heart shaped vial you pull out is made of old fashioned thick, cloudy glass. Scrolls and whorls on its surface bleed into one another and invite your fingers to trace them. The pale wooden cork on top is soft with age. It keeps dark burgundy liquid safe inside like an old secret. Some sunlight seeps through the glass to the liquid, catching flecks of light in it so the liquid seems to swirl even though you hold the bottle still.

You raise your eyebrows. “Please tell me this isn’t you suggesting I get him or both of us drunk and make out or something.”

“It’s not alcohol. It’s perfume. Kinda. ” Baekhyun rolls his eyes and flips around a small tag you hadn’t noticed.

“Love Spell?”

“Yep.”

“Baek, where’d you get this?”

“Remember how I went back to my grandmother’s for the weekend because I’ve been promising Yixing down the hall we’d go for forever? Well, we did and right before we left, he saw a sign for fortune telling and wanted to go in. Honestly, I was surprised she’s still around; I remember her when I was a kid and she still looks the same.

Anyway, I was looking around while she read Yixing’s fortune and I saw this. Not that I don’t believe in you, but I thought you could use the extra help. The fortune teller said that’s her most potent potion too.”

“Baekhyun,” you laugh. “Thank you for the thought, but a magic potion? I really hope this isn’t some weird way of hitting on me.”

He laughs too. “Been there, done that, remember? We were fun, but no sparks. That’s why you’re my wing-woman. That potion’s legit.”

“Magic doesn’t exist.”

“It really works!” Baekhyun insists. “My grandmother knows at least five couples it helped get together and they’re happy as can be! You just put three drops on like usual perfume while thinking of the person you want to fall in love with you and the instant they smell it, boom! They’re hooked. Kiss them at midnight on the 12th day of wearing the perfume and they’re yours for good.”

You eye the vial, still skeptical. “Five couples?”

“Look.” He leans forward, his gaze becoming sincere. “Junmyeon is only here another week. You don’t make some kind of move now, you might not ever be able to.”

“I know,” you reply quietly.

“'If’ is a more dangerous word than people give it credit for.”

Looking over your cubicle wall, you find the object of your affections. Unlike his predecessor, Junmyeon always has the blinds of his office open, he says to encourage people to drop in and talk. The amazing thing is that he actually listens and tries to help when he can. Kind, polite, and good-humored, Junmyeon was going to be missed by more people than just you. He is without a doubt a gentleman, a rare specimen in today’s world.

Dedicated man he is, he’s already at his desk, jacket on the back of his chair and shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His dark hair is classically styled, but some still manages to tickle his forehead. The thick frames of his glasses can’t hide the little lines that form between his eyes as he frowns in concentration and it’s unbearably cute.

You almost sigh, but catch yourself when you remember Baekhyun is watching you. He grins a shit-eating grin anyway. You put the bottle down with a glare.

“You gonna do it?” he sings.

“You don’t have any confidence in my feminine charms?”

Baekhyun snorts, ruffling your hair. “When you’re not trying, you’re irresistible. When you intentionally flirt, not so much.”

“I know,” you moan, dropping your head in your hands. “Why is flirting so hard? Why can’t I just woman up and ask him out?”

“That’s what this handy-dandy potion is for. So you don’t have to. Junmyeon can man up and ask you.”

“Junmyeon-”

The man in question suddenly calls your name and you pop out of your seat so fast you almost fall. Regaining your footing if not your dignity, you calmly ask, “Yes, Junmyeon?”

“Would you mind coming in here for a second, please? I need your opinion.”

“Of course.”

As you move to leave your desk, Baekhyun catches your wrist and nods towards the potion. “Worth a shot, no?”

You glance at the bottle. The potion within winks at you invitingly. Finally, you throw up your hands and mutter, “Fine.”

Baekhyun smiles and puts the bottle in your hand.

You pull the stopper. Jasmine, cherry blossom, and lily of the valley suffuse the air, bringing to mind summer and first love’s innocence. “Here goes nothing.”

“Don’t forget to say his name three times.”

Junmyeon’s name ghosts on your lips as you quickly dab three drops of the potion on your wrists and neck. Baekhyun gives you a thumbs up. You hurry out of your area and into Junmyeon’s office.

He looks up at you and smiles. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” You smile back, your heart fluttering helplessly. “You needed something?”

“Yes.” Junmyeon pushes his glasses up and gestures at his desktop. “I’m planning the company retreat for next month as a favor to the president. You’ve been here longer than I have of course, so I wanted to ask what you think of the events I’ve planned.”

You walk around his desk and he obligingly shifts his chair so you can look closer. Leaning in, your arm brushes his chest, but you try to ignore it.

Scrolling through the lists and itinerary he created, you nod in approval. “Looks good. I think it’ll be a really fun day.”

“Not too many corny team-building events?”

“We all know they’re obligatory, so you won’t hear any complaining. Besides, you end before lunch and then everyone can choose their own activities, so I think that’ll make everyone happy.” You point to part of the list. “Maybe you could add some indoor activities too for the older employees since it’ll be hotter in the summer? Like a sauna or dance class if it’s not too late to book?”

Junmyeon taps a pen to his lips. “Excellent idea. I’ll contact the resort after my meeting later. Thanks.” He scribbles down a note to himself on a sticky note. “

“You’re very welcome.” You straighten up and move towards the door. When he calls after you, you turn around, hand on the door frame. “Yes?”

Junmyeon coughs. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound strange, but… are you wearing perfume?”

You stiffen. Baekhyun’s ridiculous magic potion can’t be working. It can’t.“Yes.”

“It’s nice. Really nice,” he says shyly. His eyes linger on yours, a different smile than you’ve seen before on his lips.

“Oh. Thank you.” Heart racing, you retreat.

“So, how’d it go?” Baekhyun asks as soon as you’re back in your chair.

“He complimented it,” you reply with a shrug. “He didn’t propose to me, if that’s what you were looking for.”

“That’s what day twelve is for.”

“Okay,” you snort.

“Well, if you’re going to be a non-believer,” Baekhyun says, reaching for the bottle that’s still sitting by your keyboard, “I’ll just take this back and-”

You swipe it out of his reach, making him laugh. “I didn’t say I was going to stop using it. A little superstition never hurt anyone. Besides, I like how it smells. If nothing else, it’ll make a nice perfume.”

He grins knowingly.“Sure.”

“You’re still here?”

Glancing up, you’re not the least surprised to see Junmyeon leaning on the divider, chin resting on his folded arms. Both of you are almost always some of the last people to leave.

“I was just finishing up some emails from this morning. Less to get behind on tomorrow.” You push back to grab your bag from under your desk, stand, and stretch. “All done now though. You?”

“Same.”

Junmyeon waits for you, falling into step beside you and pressing the elevator button. It’s almost a habit for you and Junmyeon to walk out together, pleasantly chatting about nothing until you part ways.

Not expecting anything more, you say goodbye once you exit the building and step towards your way home.

Junmyeon reaches out and touches your arm. “Would you mind if I asked you something?”

Curiosity engaged, you shake your head.“Of course not.”

“I’m sorry to be strange again, and doubly so if this is too personal a question.” He hesitates, catching his lower lip in his teeth as he looks at you. “Are you- are you and Baekhyun… seeing each other?”

“Like dating?”

“Yes.” His cheeks flush an adorable shade of pink that makes you want to kiss them. Words tumble over themselves as he adds, “It’s not really any of my business and I assure you, it’s not that I think dating should be forbidden between coworkers, because honestly that just causes more problems than it prevents and-”

Taking pity on him, you interrupt. “We’re not. We’re just friends, coworkers. Nothing more.”

“Oh. I thought… Never mind. In that case, I know it’s a little out of the blue and I’m going back to my company after Friday, but would you like to go to dinner with me this Saturday evening?”

Your heart thuds in your chest.“This Saturday?”

“If not Saturday, maybe Sunday?” Junmyeon asks hopefully, watching your face carefully.

“Saturday is fine.” You give him a small smile, trying not to beam or squeak or something equally embarrassing as to scare him off. “I’d love to.”

The smile he returns is brilliant. “Awesome. Great. There’s a great little place a friend of mine opened a few weeks ago and I think you’ll love it. I’ll pick you up at 7, okay?”

“I could meet you there if you’d like.”

“It’s no trouble, really. Oh, may I have your number so you can send me your address, please?”

It’s unbelievable how cute politeness can be. You readily recite the digits of your cellphone number, adding him as a contact as soon as you receive his text.

“Couldn’t you have pulled both from my file in human resources?” you ask.

“Ah, but that would be using my powers for selfish gain, not the greater good, and I am forbidden by my Kryptonian father from doing so," Junmyeon jokes, his smile widening when you laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Until tomorrow. Have a good night, Junmyeon.”

“You as well. Get home safe.” With a nod of his head, he turns and heads down the sidewalk. He glances back at you once, smiling sheepishly and looking away quickly when he catches your eye.

Once he rounds the corner, you start walking towards your bus stop. Grabbing your phone, you speedily dial.

He answers after the second ring.“Hello?”

“Baekhyun, you are never going to believe what just happened.”

“Junmyeon asked you out.”

You frown, a little disappointed you didn’t get to say it. “How did you know?”

“It’s the potion,” he says smugly. “Seems your friend isn’t as crazy as you thought, huh?”

“I don’t know.” You take the bottle out of your purse and gaze at in wonder. “Magic doesn’t exist but this… this is unreal.”

“Anyone ever told you love is magic?”

“Oh my god, Byun Baekhyun. That is one of the corniest lines I have ever heard you utter.”

“I bet Junmyeon has even worse that he’ll try on your date, judging from those awful dad jokes he likes telling.”

You giggle then stop. “I’m actually going on a date with Kim Junmyeon, aren’t I?” The realization hits you again and the exuberance you suppressed before bursts through with a loud squeal that probably has Baekhyun holding the phone away from his ear.

Next Chapter

[spiderfan22]

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT - 4/20/17

“IF YOU DRINK AND DRIVE, DON’T SMOKE (SCENE 5)” by DJS

Next scene in the old men play. Where things take a turn for the better... and the worst.

Scene 5 – The Driving Range.

Herschel and Bob are hitting golf balls off astroturf mats. They share a large bucket of balls.

Bob’s ball keeps falling off his tee.

HERSCHEL               Good thing you brought your clubs, Bob.

BOB                            Yep. I thought it was just a cover so May wouldn’t get suspicious, because you fellas told me what we’d really be doing. Always nice when a lie works out, isn’t it? I mean becomes the truth? Makes the telling easier.

HERSCHEL               Well it wasn’t on the original itinerary, but Clyde thinks he’s got a connection.

Just the sound of whacking balls for a moment

                                   I don’t know. Would you say you lie to your life a lot?

BOB                            Nooo. Not much occasion to these days.

HERSCHEL               How bout when you were younger?

BOB                            Oh sure then, all the time.

HERSCHEL               Big stuff, little stuff?

BOB                            Oh I ran the gamut. Lying was like my first instinct on all sorts of things. Had I taken out the trash yet. Had I washed the car. Did I remember to give the kids a bath. Where was on Saturday night, was I really at the card game. Did I drop off her dress at the drycleaners. Lying was second nature to me – as I’m positive it is for most men – even if the consequences would be relatively minor.

                                   What about you?

HERSCHEL               Well, I always tried to be honest…

BOB                            But?

HERSCHEL               But of course not. Of course I told whopper after whopper – tried to get away with everything I could wasn’t easily checkable for verifiable.

BOB                            Ever cheat on her though?

HERSCHEL               Did I ever cheat on Leslie?

                                   No. Not till today.

Naturally, I could never stop myself from looking – I mean I thought about it. Even had the chance pop up once or twice. Business trips, conferences, that sort of thing.

A pause

BOB                            I did.

HERSCHEL               You? You cheated on May? For real?

BOB                            Had to be, I don’t know, half a dozen times over the course of our marriage. Plus this couple year affair with one of my checkout girls at the Safeway.

HERSCHEL               And she never found out?

BOB                            Nope. Though she came close one time. Found a pair of panties in the backseat of the car. But I told her they were a Valentine’s Day gift for her – that we should spice things up. That I’d lost the bag.

HERSCHEL               You sly dog. Why didn’t you ever tell me? Did you tell Clyde?

BOB                            This was in the early years of our marriage – no – where you’d think everything would be all blissful and we’d be fucking like rabbits. And the funny thing was we were like that, but that just made me more horny, you know? I figured having kids would set me straight, but…

HERSCHEL               Grandkids were what finally did it for me.

BOB                            What? I thought you said you never –

HERSCHEL               Not talking about that, not talking about cheating.

                                   Booze.

BOB                            Oh yeah, right. I remember there was a time, a period of what, five years...?

HERSCHEL               More like ten but who’s counting.

BOB                            Yeah, where you were just – where it’d be weird if you didn’t have a drink in your hand. Best example I can think of is the time you pissed yourself out on the back nine during that trip to Palm Springs.

HERSCHEL               Do you have to bring that up?

BOB                            Hey you opened Pandora’s bag.

HERSCHEL               Box.

BOB                            What?

HERSCHEL               It’s box. Pandora’s Box.

BOB                            Oh.

HERSCHEL               You always were a shit for brains, you know that?

BOB                            Well we all can’t be valedictorian like you Herschel. Not that you ever did anything with it, all that learning, all those smarts. Went to U-Dub same as the rest of the graduating class of Roosevelt High School 1959 – how convenient just down the road too – when you got into fucking Yale?

HERSCHEL               Drop it.

BOB                            No I think that deserves an explanation. I mean with all you had going for you Herschel, the scholarships, to end up a fucking accountant? Not that you haven’t found success, what with all the shrewd investments you’ve made over the years. Remember you even advised me to go in on this new company Microsoft when they were first starting out? Said they were going places and it could be a big payday down the line, but did I listen? No, I said “What the fuck is a computer and how come anyone would want one?” I’m telling you Herschel, it’s like you could predict the future. And boy was I jealous of you sometimes. When you’d go on vacation twice a year – fly to Florida or take the whole family to Europe somewhere, Italy – not just the Washington coast for a week in August like us regular Joes. But things like money, comfort, luxuries – those don’t quite make it at the end of the day do they? Don’t quite make up for squandering your God given potential.

Suddenly Herschel, who’s been like a lit fuse listening to all this, explodes. He brandishes his nine-iron at Bob, who backs up a step.

HERSCHEL               FUCK YOU, BOB! FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE ASS FOR SAYING THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT, YOU DUMB FUCK. THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU PISSANT! NOTHING BUT A SHIT FOR BRAINS NO-TALENT GROCERY STORE MANAGER! LEAST I HAD SOME POTENTIAL TO SQUANDER! WHAT DID YOU EVER HAVE HUH?! JUST THE DAY’S FUCKING RECEIPTS TO TALLY!!

BOB                            I LOVED MY JOB YOU SON OF A BITCH!! NOW TAKE THAT BACK ‘FORE I KNOCK YOUR FUCKING TEETH OUT!

HERSCHEL               NOT TILL YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID, PUSSY-BOY!!

BOB                            CALLING ME A PUSSY?? WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN GET IT UP?!

HERSCHEL               WHAT DID YOU SAY???

BOB                            YOU HEARD ME YOU LIMP DICK HAVING BASTARD. . I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDA TOOKEN ONE OF MY –

HERSCHEL               TOOKEN?? IGNORANT FUCKING BASTARD –

BOB                            (overlapping) YES TOOKEN – ONE OF MY PRESCRIPTION E.D. PILLS – BUT WOULD YOU LISTEN? NOOOOOOOO, NOT HERSCHEL. HIS DICK WORKS JUST FINE.

HERSCHEL               THAT’S IT BOB, I’MA WRING YOUR FUCKING NECK!! TAKE YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF!!

BOB                            COME AT ME BRO!!!!!!!!!

By now they’re both holding their golf clubs like samurai swords. Herschel even takes a swing at Bob.

Clyde enters with a rolled up paper bag.

CLYDE                      Whoa! The hell’s going on here?? Hey – the both of you, quit it. Knock it off. Come on now. Hey.

He gets them separated, but they’re still fired up.

HERSCHEL               Don’t talk to me. It’s this piece of shit’s fault for starting in on me.

BOB                            I was just asking a question, Herschel.

HERSCHEL               The hell you were, Bob.

(To Clyde) He was criticizing my whole way of life – every decision I ever made and saying it was the wrong one!

CLYDE                      Is this true, Bob?

BOB                            Only sorta.

And it wasn’t a critique Herschel –

HERSCHEL               Bullshit –

BOB                            It wasn’t. ‘Cause the point of it all: you can’t tell me you don’t feel, or have felt somewhere along the line, that you didn’t waste even just a little of that brainpower of yours and all you could have accomplished. Roads you didn’t take? Doors left unopened? And all I’m saying is it makes me personally sad. Now I dare you to look me in the eye and say I’m a liar.

                                   Am I lying?

Beat.

HERSCHEL               (quiet) No. You’re right.

But you must know it’s a sore subject for me.

BOB                            Of course it is, of course it is…

HERSCHEL               Nobody wants to look back on their life full of regrets, thinking about, oh, about what could have been.

With tears in his eyes

                                   And you hit the nail on the head Bob, connecting that disappointment to my drinking. The two went hand in hand. I was compensating for something – coping, or trying to at least. It’s just you get so old so fast. And there’s no turning back the clock, is there?

They stand in silent reflection on this point for a long moment.

Then there’s an abrupt change in tone.

BOB                            So did you get the stuff, Clyde?

CLYDE                      Oh I scored big time I think.

He opens the rolled up paper bag and lets them peek inside. Bob and Herschel’s eyes light up like kids on Christmas.

BOB                            Hot diggity-dog! You did! I don’t know anything about cocaine but that sure does look like a lot of it!

CLYDE                      Well it was funny, you know? The kid asked me how much I wanted –

HERSCHEL               This is one of the maintenance crew guys –

CLYDE                      One of groundskeepers, yeah. The young Mexican kid. I forget his name, Juan or Miguel, but I remembered that time we caught him out behind the maintenance shed smoking something or other, and we knew he wasn’t making trouble just trying to blow off some steam so we didn’t report him. Well let me tell you, gentlemen, that small act of kindness paid off big time today because Juan-Miguel said he remembered me too and would be only too happy to “hook us up” as he called it with as much of the stuff as we wanted – or that he could get his hands on. So having no idea of the going rate, I asked him what a couple thousand would buy me, and I shit you not, if he didn’t almost fall over right here. Well I guess that’s a lot, I said, would he not be able to do it? No, he said he thought he knew a guy but it might take an hour for him to get there and back, could I wait – which is why it took me so long. But I’ll be damned if the little spic didn’t come through with flying colors. I mean I don’t have any basis of comparison or nothing but this is ton of cocaine, right?? Like we hit the drug fucking jackpot!

In his excitement, he opens the bag to show them again.

HERSCHEL               That’s great Clyde, but let’s take it down a notch, huh? For the sake of appearances?

CLYDE                      (lowers voice) Oh right, right, sorry. I’m just excited.

BOB                            Me too.

HERSCHEL               Make that three.

They laugh quietly. Then a small pause.

CLYDE                      So where we gonna have this little shindig? I presume you both are up for doing it now.

HERSCHEL               Oh hell yes. Only I think we can rule out my place. Knowing Leslie she wouldn’t let us have a moment’s peace – always sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong. Not that the woman doesn’t have her good points, but if she feel she’s being kept out of the loop, she’s like a pitbull after a pussy cat. Not to be deterred.

BOB                            Well we could do it at my house. We just got done refinishing the basement and now I got my TV room all set up. Leather couch, flatscreen. And May would leave us alone if I told her. I mean she might get curious but she knows her place well enough.

CLYDE                      No, it’s nice of you to offer Bob but I don’t see any point in risking it. We’ll do it at my place. No danger of wifely interruptions there. Perks of being a widower, hey?

They chuckle. Slight pause.

                                   So I guess we should be going. No time like the present, right?

Bob gathers his golf clubs in his bag. They start out.

                                   Hey uhh – you fellas think you might want to do just a dip real fast before we go?

HERSCHEL               A dip? You mean of the –

CLYDE                      Yeah you know, just to get the party started like?

BOB                            Well I’m game.

HERSCHEL               Sure, sure. As long as we’re discreet here shouldn’t be a problem.

CLYDE                      Gum thing’s probably best if that’s your concern…

He opens the bag. They do a quick check of the surrounding area to ensure no one is watching. Then they each dip a finger in. The men quickly bring their finger to their mouth and rub coke on their gums.

The effect is more or less instantaneous. Clyde reels.

CLYDE          Jesus Christ where has this been all our lives??

HERSCHEL               Y’know I think I like it even more than alcohol, the feeling it gives me?

CLYDE                      At least we weren’t too late. We didn’t miss it.

BOB                            Yeah. Good thing.

They start out again happily.

Then Clyde’s phone rings, stopping them. The men look surprised, not to mention a tad paranoid.

BOB                            Who’s that? Is that your phone Herschel?

HERSCHEL               I turned my phone off when we went to the motel.

CLYDE                      (digging phone out of his pocket) It’s mine. But I don’t recognize the number…

                                   (answers it) Hello?

                                   Oh. Hey Sandy.

HERSCHEL               Sandy? My Sandy? Izzat my daughter?

CLYDE                      Yeah he’s right here. I think he had his phone off was the –

                                   Hang on, is everything alright? You sound a little spooked is all, a little frantic there.

                                   Where?

Herschel is watching all this close and keeps putting his hand out for the phone.

                                   Oh.

                                   Oh yes of course you can talk to him. I’ll pass him the phone right –

                                   You just hang in there, Sandy. It’ll be alright. Just –

                                   No, here he is. You take care now.

Clyde hands the phone to Herschel, who moves a little away. Bob looks to Clyde, who shakes his head, troubled.

HERSCHEL   Hey it’s me honey, what’s going on? Just slow down and –

Long pause, Herschel listening. We read the story on this face

           And this was when?

           Well who called the paramedics?

No I had my phone off I’m sorry, I don’t know why, the battery was – but is that the most important thing right now?

No I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry. I’m sorry honey.

No I’ll be on my way right now. Which hospital? I think you mentioned but –

Virginia Mason. Alright. I’m coming. I’ll be there. Just tell her to hold on. Wait for me.

Tell her to wait.

I love you too, honey. Yes.

The call ends. Herschel frozen. Clyde and Bob wait.

Long moment.

Then he turns to them gravely.

           Well fuck.

To be continued...