#this is probably the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

[5-fuxking-unicorns]

i went to pee and didn’t miss anything besides a name

[lunafermosa]

When your friend does a photoshoot at your job, with your $400 Hannibal figurine and gets 2.2k likes

[charcoaldustonmyfingers]

How old even are you? Part 1/2

Part 2/2

That moment when your mentor figure is all of a sudden a gangly and insufferable teenager who follows none of his future advice. Like, what do you even do with that? They all talk and act the exact same but they’re all completely different people. It’s probably hilarious in non life threatening situations tho

The dramatic irony of seeing the adult that scolded you in the future doing the same dumb shit. I once watched old home videos of my parents as kids and it was some of the weirdest and funniest things I’ve ever seen lmao

[theemporium]

[1.6k] in which a flower bouquet arrives at your door that certainly wasn't sent by your boyfriend. (based off this request)

series masterlist

.

In your defence, you had nothing to do with the prank. 

It had taken a while for Luke to come around to the idea of you and Quinn being together. He loved you both, wanted nothing more than two of his favourite people in the world to be happy. But it still took some time to get used to the shift in relationships considering almost a year ago the two of you barely spoke. 

But all things considered, he was doing much better than you expected—except for one thing. 

Luke had deemed it necessary that his brother proved himself worthy of dating his best friend. 

You thought he was joking. Quinn thought he was being dramatic. And Jack thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard, meaning he totally enabled his younger brother into taking the whole thing seriously. 

You had expected Luke to give his oldest brother a shovel talk. Maybe threaten him a little. Maybe even whine about it a little longer, because honestly he got over that phase a lot quicker than you expected. 

You hadn’t expected a series of trials to be set up for your boyfriend.

It started off with random questions thrown at Quinn at the most unsuspecting times, ways for Luke to see if his older brother really knew you. He asked about your favourite colour, your favourite snacks, what you liked when you were sad and so many more simple questions that had Quinn rolling his eyes as he answered. 

Then, it escalated to throwing random scenarios. Like what Quinn would do if you were stranded and he was halfway across the country. Or what Quinn would do if you had been abducted by aliens and returned with no memory of him. Or what Quinn would do if you decided to become a diehard Leafs fan.

It was annoying for Quinn, but ultimately it was harmless. 

You hadn’t realised there was another test. You hadn’t realised you inspired it when you were on the phone with Luke a couple of weeks ago. 

It became a staple in your relationship for Quinn to send you a bouquet of flowers. It was his little way of showing he cared, of showing that distance wasn’t going to get in between him showing his love for you. It was sweet and it made your heart swoon and he fucking adored the way you always called him as soon as they arrived, sharing your reaction to his chosen bouquet each time.

So, in all honesty, it was no shock to you when a bouquet had been delivered to your door that morning. You hadn’t bothered to look for a note because you knew who it was from, you knew that Quinn would probably walk out of your room and see the flowers and throw some stupid, cheesy line at you that had your body flushing. 

“What the fuck?”

It never occurred to you that Quinn was never the one who sent them. 

He stumbled out of your room around thirty minutes after you initially woke up, his eyes still tired and bleary from sleep. He was dragging his feet along the floor as he walked, a pair of sweatpants halfheartedly thrown on as he went off to find you and try to drag you back to bed. After all, it wasn’t often he got the chance to visit you during the season. Spending that limited time together in bed sounded ideal to him. 

However, his body was wide fucking awake the second he walked into the kitchen and saw an unfamiliar bouquet of flowers sat on the counter.

You turned to look at him, your smile waning a little when you noticed his pissed off expression. “Jesus, I know you’re bad before coffee in the mornings but I’ve never seen you this grumpy.” 

Quinn ignored the jab, nodding towards the flowers. “Who sent you those?” 

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What? You did?”

Quinn frowned as he turned to look at you. “No, I didn’t. I chose tulips. Those aren’t tulips.” 

You shot him a blank look, very well aware the huge bouquet of red roses were not tulips. 

“Maybe you forgot what you chose,” you told him with a shrug, taking a step towards him so you could wind your arms around his waist. You felt him lean into the embrace, wrapping one arm around you as the other reached towards the flowers. “You can’t remember what you’ve chosen every single time.”

“I do,” Quinn said bluntly like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Of course he remembered which flowers he sent you. The boy spent more time than he cared to admit choosing a bouquet, trying to imagine which ones you’d like the most. 

“Oh,” you murmured, but there was a cheesy grin making its way on your face as you placed a quick peck to his collarbone. “Petey was right, you’re such a sap.”

“I still don’t know how I feel about this newfound friendship between you and Petey,” Quinn grumbled when he noticed a note tucked between the stems of the flowers. He reached for it, a frown on his face as his eyes glanced over the note. “Who’s George?” 

You blinked, pulling your head back. “I don’t know a George.” 

Quinn’s expression darkened. “Well, some creep called George knows you and is now sending you flowers.” 

“What?” You grumbled as you reached for the note.

pretty flowers for a pretty girl  –george xx

You blinked. “What the fuck?”

Quinn’s eyes narrowed at the bouquet of flowers, his arm tightening around you like he was proving a point. “They are a terrible set of roses anyways. Red is so tacky. What the fuck does George think it is, Valentine’s Day? He has shitty taste.” 

“I—” You turned to your boyfriend. “Some random guy has my address and is sending me shit, and your priority is his taste in bouquets?” 

“I’m just saying,” Quinn grumbled with a shrug of his shoulders. “He isn’t gonna win you over with some measly roses.” 

You shook your head in response. “Babe, you are—” 

RING! RING! RING!

The two of you froze for a short moment, glancing at each other as your phone’s ringing continued to echo through your small kitchen. There was a moment of hesitation before Quinn reached for it, shoulders tensed like he was expecting to see some unknown number on your screen.

His body visibly relaxed when he saw it was a facetime call from Luke.

He handed you the phone, settling in behind you with his arms still wound around you like he was unwilling to let go of you anytime soon. He hooked his chin on your shoulder, leaning his head against yours as you answered the call.

“Oh. Ew.” 

You rolled your eyes but smiled fondly at your best friend. “Is there a reason you’re calling me before ten? I’m surprised you’re even awake right now.”

“Just wanted to check in,” Luke said, his eyes narrowed like he was analysing something. “Hm. You look quite calm there, Quinn.”

Quinn startled a little, lifting his head. “Did you expect me not to be calm when you called?” 

“I was hoping you’d be in some caveman-ish jealous fit of rage. I had the boys on standby to make sure you didn’t tear the college down.” 

You blinked in confusion. 

“Are you George?” Quinn asked, frowning at his youngest brother’s grinning face.

“No, Quinn, my name is Luke.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re a little shit.” 

“What the hell, Luke?” You asked, sighing deeply at whatever your best friend was about to say. You already knew whatever the reason was—most likely encouraged by Jack, again—was going to be too much for your brain to handle this early in the morning. 

“What? I told you I was testing him!” Luke said, like it was the only defence he needed. “The note was hidden in the flowers to make sure he would go looking for it! I wanted to make sure he was putting in the effort with you, if he actually cared about the weird flower thing or if he would just pretend like it was fine.” 

You blinked. “You’re insane,” you said eventually, pausing for a short moment before you continued. “And it’s not a weird flower thing.” 

“I’m going to kill you when I next see you,” Quinn said, glaring at his little brother who looked far too smug for his own good. “And I’m going to shove these roses so far—”

“Talk to you later, bye!” 

You sighed, shaking your head as you let out a breathless laugh. You turned your head, finding Quinn still frowning and glowering, and gently turned his face so you could kiss him. “He’ll get tired of these tests eventually.” 

“Will he though?” Quinn muttered against your lips, his nose brushing against yours. “I swear his next test will be to tattoo your name across my forehead.”

You snorted. “If you do that, I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s rude,” he mused and, for the first time since he woke up, a hint of a smile was tugging on his lips. “What if I do it on my own accord? Maybe I just want to prove my love for you, baby.”

“I like your pretty face. I’d rather not be staring at my own name whenever I look at it,” you retorted, watching as a full smile spread across his face as he leaned down to kiss you again. 

“Cute,” he murmured before he pulled back completely, a determined glint in his eyes that you knew well. “C’mon, get ready.” 

Your brows furrowed. “What? Where are we going?”

“To burn those flowers and then grab breakfast,” he answered simply.

“Quinn—”

“I refuse to look at them any longer, babe, they are atrocious.”

“You’re so dramatic.” 

“It’s a Hughes thing.”

.

[cozage]

Coza!! Congrats on your 2K followers. 🥳🎉🥂

I like your smuts and I’m having a hard time choosing what scenarios to request!! I’m so excited for this event you have no idea. May I request for the Option 1? Reaction of Luffy+ Sanji+ Zoro+ Law+ Eustass Kid + Killer to you reading smuts/hentai please? Thank you!!

A/N: Hi :) I wasn't able to do everyone, but I did a few! Minors…OUT! go on! Get! Scram! Also I won’t lie Zoro’s is based loosely off of the funniest comic I’ve seen in my life that stays living rent free in my head Characters: gn reader x Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Law Cw: smut and suggestive, NO MINORS ALLOWED ON THIS POST PLS GO AWAY Total word count: 900

Scandalous Reading

Luffy

Luffy’s head rested on your shoulder, his eyes lazily skimming the page that you were reading. 

“Woah!” Luffy grabbed the book out of your hand and put it up to his face to get a better view of the words. “I didn’t even know this was possible!”

“Luffy!” You reached for the book, but he held it just out of your reach, still reading. 

“I didn’t even think about trying-”

“Luffy! Give it back!”

His wide eyes peered over the pages, but he refused to hand it back to you. “Do you like this stuff?”

“I mean-I don’t-I just-” Your face turned beet red at the implication. “It’s just written really well!”

He gave you a mischievous grin and took off back toward his room, book in tow. “Come on!” he called. “I want to see if it really can work this way!”

Oh, you were in for a rough night.

Sanji

“My love, did you-” Sanji stopped, his eyes fixated on the book cover you were reading.

“Sanji?” you prompted, trying to get his attention.

“I know that author,” he mumbled, mostly to himself. “Where do I know that-”

“You probably don’t!” You slammed your book shut and shoved it behind your back. “What did you need?”

“Oh! Right! Would you like gelato or ice cream?”

“Surprise me!” you said, trying to get his mind off the book. “I’m sure whatever you make will be amazing!”

Sanji was in the kitchen when he finally placed it, and he almost collapsed from the realization of what he had caught you reading.

He brought you out the finest gelato he had ever made and set it down next to you. “So, my love,” he said, trying not to sound too excited. “How is your book?”

“It’s good,” you said. You set it down to grab your gelato, and Sanji lunged for it. 

He skimmed the pages, confirming his suspicion, and tried his hardest not to pass out from the filth his eyes found. “You’re reading book porn!” he whispered sharply. “You always get on me for staring at-”

“That’s not the same,” you hissed. “These aren’t real people! It’s different!”

“It is not!”

“What am I supposed to do!?” you snapped back, glaring at him. “You’re busy in the kitchen, I have to entertain myself somehow during the day!”

Oh, that was a bad way of wording things, because the second the words were out, Sanji’s eyes lit up. “Are you telling me you want to do something like this? Because I would love nothing more than to treat you like the royalty I know you are.”

Zoro

“What are you reading?” Zoro asked, looking at your book cover. 

“A book.” You tilted the book slightly to shield him from seeing any of the words.

“What’s it about?” He seemed strangely interested in the cover. “Swordmaking?”

Oh right, there was a sword on the front cover of the book. No wonder he was so interested in it. 

“It’s called Swords and Snakes. It’s a book about…royalty, love, and betrayal.”

He scrunched his face in disgust and went back to resting his eyes. “Not really my kind of book.”

You grinned. "No, I don't think it is." You set your book down and stood up. “Do you want anything? I’m going to go get a snack.”

“Riceballs.”

You nodded and went to the kitchen to grab food. What you hadn’t been expecting was returning to Zoro staring wide-eyed at the page you had dog-earred. 

He looked up at you in amusement, smirking at your anxious body language. “You weren’t joking about love and betrayal.”

“That’s mine!”

“More like love-making and betrayal,” he mumbled. “I didn’t know they wrote books like this. I didn’t know you would read books like this.”

“Well to be fair-” you snatched the book from his hands. “I didn’t know you could read at all!”

“Don’t be too bratty now,” he teased. “Or I’ll give you the same treatment that knight gave the princess.”

Law

You had only left your book laying on the bedside table for a minute while you ran to the bathroom. But damn that Trafalgar Law, he was so nosey. 

“Quite the fantasy world you read about,” he hummed as you walked back into the room.

“What do you-” your words died in your throat, seeing him flip through the pages. “Oh, that.” You gave a nervous laugh, striding back over to your bed. 

“Yes, this.” He slapped the book shut, peering up at you with such a predatory and lustful look that you almost took a step backward. 

“I just picked it up at the last bookstore we went to,” you lied. “I don’t even know what it’s about.”

“Right,” he said, clearly not believing you. 

He handed the book back to you, and you quickly grabbed it. “Thanks,” you whispered, unable to meet his eyes. 

“Sure.” He stood to take his leave, heading back to the lab. He stopped on his way out, leaning in to whisper in your ear. 

“If you ever want to make it a reality, all you have to do is ask.”

[pedriscroquettes]

𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐀 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐀 ✵ ENZO VOGRINCIC

summary. pipe gives away way too much information when he’s drunk.

warnings. suggestive 18+ minor pipe otaño x f!reader

a/n. based off bota niña by bad gyal 🫦

you were beginning to regret accepting the boy’s invitation of hitting a club to celebrate the premiere of the movie. they had convinced you to join reminding you of the countless months you’d spent on set making sure everyone was taken care of. the large group had managed to reserve a secluded section big enough for the cast and their friends. you could barley hear anyone over the loud music blaring in the venue.

you were glad the tab wouldn’t fall on you as the boys kept ordering group shots and bottles of bacardi and champagne. you went slow not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of the cast. the last thing you wanted was to make a fool of yourself in front of your coworkers. you had image to keep up with.

“i’m gonna miss you.” pipe slurred as he laid his head against your arm.

“i’m gonna miss you too pipe.” you sighed not believing that you were probably never gonna see any of the guys again.

“can i kiss you?” he blurts out.

“pipe you’re drunk.” you try not to laugh as his drunk self betrays him.

“well i tried! i was so stupid to believe that you liked me over enzo.” he slouches back in his seat as he accepts defeat.

“over enzo? what does he have to do with this?” you ask him intrigued.

enzo had been the coworker you’d least interacted with during filming. he tended to spend more time with the guys and often kept to himself since he was practically the only uruguayan on set. on the few occasions that the two of you had spoken he had been cordial but reserved. it lowkey pissed you off because it left you wanting to know more. seeing him in the finished product was worse because he was full of talent and you had been so close to him yet so far.

“it’s so obvious he likes you.” he says as he tries to reach out for another shot but you intercept him. he’s had enough to drink tonight.

“you’re not funny pipe.” your eyes wander around the room until they land on the topic of conversation. his slicked back hair alone is enough to make you squirm. you quickly turn your attention back to the argentine in front of you.

“i’m the funniest person here besides franco.” he scoffs. “besides enzo was always asking about you on set and i’ve caught him staring. he totally likes you.”

“you’re so full of shit.” you shake your head as you laugh. “i’m gonna go have fun now so the hangover doesn’t bother me as much in the morning.”

you stand up adjusting your dress in the process. it was an absolute pain to always have to pull your dress down whenever it rode up but the high of the movie premiere was too strong to care. it was as if pipe’s observation had given you a wave of confidence and you found yourself standing in front of the others.

“does anyone want to come dance with me?” you ask in the nicest tone possible.

“enzo does!” pipe yells and you can’t help but send a glare towards him.

“no, my dancing is terrible.” enzo nervously giggles as he feels everyone’s eyes land on him.

“he’s lying!” franco throws him under the bus.

“i’ve seen him dance he’s decent.” esteban adds on to the teasing.

“he doesn’t need to come if he doesn’t want to. it’s fine.” you feel the heat rise up to your cheeks at their banter.

“nope! he’s going. he’s the best dancer i’ve ever seen.” pipe continues with his banter.

“enzo! enzo! enzo!” the rest of the people begin to chant as they egg him on. you were regretting asking them anything.

he stands up giving into the pressure from his cast mates. even though the club is dark and the lights are dim you can still notice the pink hue on his cheeks. he’s either embarrassed or flustered and you were beginning to feel bad.

“you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to. i don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” you told him as he approached you.

“it’s fine besides it’ll give them something to talk about.” he smirked as the two of you headed towards the center of the room.

the club is dimly lit but you’re easily able to see people surrounding the two of you. they’re mostly all couples with the occasional group of friends somewhere in the mix. it also doesn’t help that it’s basically old reggaeton music blaring from the speakers meaning it was meant to be danced closely with your partner. you’re too shy to do anything and you quite literally stand there frozen unsure of what to do next.

“you can’t go all shy on me now.” he wraps his arms around your waist pulling you closer to him. “just a couple of minutes ago you were asking for a dancing partner.”

you try to not look shocked after all he is a man and he has his wants. but you have your needs. truth be told you had barely been romantically involved with anyone since filming had begun and wrapped. you were craving the attention of someone and you didn’t mind if it came from the extremely attractive protagonist. a newfound confidence had formed between the two of you and the music only encouraged you.

“so you don’t mind me touching you, right?” you ask him with a subtle smirk.

the dim lights manage to illuminate his face as he smiles at you. the moment occurring is intimate and probably the most you had ever interacted with him throughout the past three years you knew him. you couldn’t help but admire him, his attractiveness being too much for his own good. he didn’t realize how good looking he was but you had a feeling he would soon.

“depends, how?” he brings his lips near your ears due to the music to make sure you could hear him. the act making you shiver.

“like this.” you place your palm on his chest slowly trailing it down his chest. you lowered your body to the beat of the music at the same time. you surprised your self at how your body moved and how willingly you did it for him.

“fuck.” he murmured trying to make sure you didn’t hear him but you managed to catch it anyways. it was definitely an ego boost, you’d tell your friends about this.

you try to do it again but he grabs you and brings you chest to chest with him. he analyzes you and your breath hitches the suspense killing you. you’re not sure what he’s thinking and you don’t know if you just scared him off. he creeps his hand up your neck to your jaw cupping your face. he removes the couple of strands of hair that are blocking your face. his face gets closer to yours–your heart beating faster. one blink and his lips are on yours capturing them into a sensual rhythm.

you’re perfectly still for a moment not expecting a kiss from him but that doesn’t last long. you’re moving your lips against his in a second. his hand remains firm on your jaw as he kisses you. the two of you pull away for a second to catch your breath’s. you look up at him trying to decipher his feelings. you realize he liked it as much as you did when he leaned in for another one.

normally you would feel bad about the blatant pda in front of others but you weren’t thinking straight. maybe it was the lack of oxygen due to your lips being connected with his but all you wanted was to enjoy the passionate kisses he was giving you. your hand found it’s way into his messy hair tugging at the strands causing deep groans from him. it triggered something inside you. you’d never been kissed like this before nor held like this. you were so entranced by him you barely noticed the way his hand lowered down your body.

“you want to grab my ass and you haven’t even asked me out yet.” you remove his hand from your waist teasing him.

“oh come on you know how busy i’ve been.” he jokes. “come back to my room and i’ll make up for it.”

you offer him a forced smile clearly amused by his sudden confidence and his tempting offer. it was almost enough to make you break. but you didn’t want to be a simple one night stand he would forget. you may have found him attractive but you weren’t gonna lose your dignity.

“no enzo if you really want to make it up to me you’ll come to mine with dinner.” you kiss him on the cheek. “you know where to find me.” you say referring to fact that the whole cast was staying in the same hotel for the premiere.

you head towards the hotel dragging pipe and franco along with you. the two of them being so drunk you can barely get them into their rooms. when you were finally alone you brought your fingers up to your lips reminiscing about enzo and the feel of his lips on yours. you’re barely out of your heels when there’s a knock on your door. you believe it’s pipe coming to bother you once more but instead it’s enzo with a bag of takeout and that devilish smirk of his.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

-

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

[roots-symphony]

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don’t really buy into the whole fuckboy agatha/turbo virgin Rio narrative. Like it’s fun to play around with, but I don’t think it’s as canon as some I’ve seen some ppl say. I think it’s just one of like many possible interpretations of what their dynamic could have been, and tbh I think we’re all sleeping on the funniest one. Let me explain:

Agatha fucks now, that’s super obvious but there’s also been like how many centuries between now and when she was younger/met Rio? Agatha grew up during a very puritanical time, in an isolated coven, with an abusive mother, could she have been sneaking and getting action/figuring herself out on the side? Definitely. But I feel like she would’ve been more focused on trying to sneak around and learn magic and (depending on just /how/ isolated the coven was, which the ones we saw her and Nicky go through ranged from super small family to a small-medium community) might have not been either a lot of options and/or the options there were would have been like difficult to do anything about. We don’t know when she meets Rio, but presumably not /too/ long after her attempted execution just based on when Nicky was born, so she definitely in this time could have come to an understanding of herself and her body, especially in regards to how she could use her ~feminine wiles~ to get by with her entire support system gone. But I feel like another way to look at it, is that while she may not have been able to experiment as a teenager, she definitely could have run into some inappropriate books while reading the magic books she also wasn’t allowed to read. That plus just probably the whole way sex and everything was viewed during that time, I feel like she could easily come up with some weird ideas about what sex even is.

And Rio has been around for like ever. Do you know how many humans probably died doing weird sex things?? Rio knows what sex is, but her view of it is probably super skewed. (Also, we don’t see Rio from a point before Agatha which is unfortunate because all her focus after agatha is like… /on/ agatha so we have no way of knowing if she had any curiosity regarding humanity or any of the things she saw. She definitely could have experimented in her long existence, we just don’t know. Which doesn’t really matter to this, I just want to point out that even that is up to interpretation and is based in canon literally just as much as virgin Rio [which is to say not at all])

Anyway I think we’re all missing the funniest way to read this, which is /both/ Agatha and Rio having wildly different and also just wrong ideas about what sex is/how it works, and just trying to figure it out together like the blind leading the blind with all their directions based around colors. Bonus in that Rio could probably say some buckwild shit and Agatha ‘fake it till you make it’ Harkness would probably be like ‘well yes, obviously that’s how you do it’

[littlestarbigsky]

i know I KNOW this is from the dinner scene but god this is probably the funniest thing i’ve ever seen-

[loviingpedri]

they caught us - p. gavi

prompt: gavi x gamer!fem!reader. hard launching your relationship on stream

warnings: cursing, grammar issues

credits to owners for all images.

inspo for this story ^^

-

you were a growing streamer. big in the minecraft and riot games community. you appreciated your fans from the unconditional support. ever since being an exposed barca fan, your platform definitely grew. content was trending to the point where you met the one and only, pablo gavi. his simple message of complimenting you building camp nou in minecraft ended in a few date nights, a lot of kissing, and some risky nights. your fans wanted some player in barca to notice you, but little did you know that you spent your nights with your dream barca player everyday.

exposing your relationship was not in your agenda any time soon. it was the peak of your gaming career and gavi had big plans for the national team. the internet would practically blow up from the news. both of you were not ready for that amount of personal space to be invaded.

it was that time of the day to start your daily stream. it was a good balance of work and relationship. start your stream when gavi is at practice, and end it when he’s at home to solely focus on him.

“hello, hello everyone! welcome to today's stream." waiting a few seconds as more people started joining. “today will be a minecraft stream. i’m thinking of making the barca logo.”

reading the comments blow up by the mention of the club is probably the funniest thing you’ve seen.

“change your shirt on the minecraft skin the jersey of your favorite player. i love that idea, but i don’t really have a favorite player. maybe i’ll do xavi or something.” lying isn’t the best thing to do to your supporters, but personal business is personal business.

after playing for hours and halfway done with the logo, you hear the door opening. “one second guys, i think my roommate is home.” roommate meaning your boyfriend. the plan is really thought out. your best friend occasionally popped into the streams, pretending to be your roommate, and it works. thinking you muted and turned off your camera (which happens often), gavi walks into your gaming room.

“hi gorgeous,” walking in and instantly kissing you made both of you smile. “are you streaming?”

“yeah, i am. i was building the logo. i can show you later when i’m ‘done greeting my roommate’.” making quotation marks with your fingers.

“yeah i’ll sit over here. i’ll just look while you continue playing.” you blew a kiss at him as you put your headset back on.

“alright guys, i’m back. did i miss anything?” your eyes tried to keep up with the chat. it was going faster than usual. you thought it was a raid, but nothing was happening. everyone was going crazy. finally, a donation came through with a message.

read aloud from the automated voice, “viscabarcaaa_11 donated $10 with a message. 'was that gavi you just kissed?’” fuck. gavi quickly sat up from the seat. you realized your camera and microphone was never off. your eyes panning from screen to screen in panic. speechless, you turned red instantly.

you were kissin’ and they caught you whether you like it or not.

you cleared your throat, still don’t know what to say. gavi unplugged your headphones from your pc tower to be able to hear what was going on. he urged you to get up. you had no idea what he was doing, but you just listened.

sitting down, he spoke slow and steady. “hello everyone. this was a very unexpected thing for you. not to mention, an unexpected plan from us. y/n and i have been seeing each other for a few months now. it wasn’t really planned for us to be revealed this early, but thank you for supporting my girlfriend. i am glad to get this off of our chest, because i’ve been wanting to show her off.”

playfully pushing him to the side, “okay thank you for attending this stream, see you tomorrow. love you guys.” making sure you ended the stream fully before giving off a sigh.

“looks like i can show you off now.”

“okay, that’s enough fame for you.”

————————————————————

author’s note: this story has been sitting in my drafts for months and i’m deciding to complete it on a random weekday.

[vintageshanny]

Waiting for Love - Part Eleven

Falling Deeper

Content: August 1972, a little angst carried over from the last part, a lot of fluff, a lot of smut, mentions of pornography, 18+

I think we are getting pretty close to the end of what I had planned for this series (2 more chapters maybe? Of course I reserve the right to change my mind lol). Thank you all for following along, commenting, sharing, etc! ❤️

Catch up here: Waiting for Love series

August 1972

“Vivien, jus’ wait a goddamn minute!”

The rage seemed to have won, Vivien thought as she continued toward the door.

“Please,” he added, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

Maybe not.

Her hand paused on the doorknob. She tried to will herself to open it and walk out, but she froze in place as she felt him approach behind her, his entire aura enveloping her senses.

“Elvis, please, I can’t,” she whispered, tilting her head forward against the door frame, trying to escape the feel of his warm breath on her neck.

“Honey, please, l-l-let me jus’ tell ya what I came back ta say.” Elvis gently placed his hands on her waist and turned her around to face him.

“Okay.” Vivien nodded but carefully avoided looking into his eyes, knowing her resolve wouldn’t last a second.

As Elvis grabbed her hand and led her toward the couch, there was a tentative knock at the door.

“Sorry, that’s probably Roxanne,” Vivien mumbled nervously, pulling her hand away and turning back toward the door. “I can tell her to wait.” Elvis waited within arm’s reach to make sure Vivien didn’t make a break for it as she cracked open the door and spoke to Roxanne in a low tone. “Rox, Elvis is here. He wants to talk. Can you wait for a little bit?”

“Of course hon, I’ll be right out here.” Roxanne smiled reassuringly and sat down on the porch steps as Vivien closed the door.

Vivien let Elvis grab her limp hand and lead her over to the long white couch, where they sat down and turned toward each other, Elvis’ legs spread wide apart as always. He held her hand in his own, running one of his long thumbs soothingly over the back of it.

“Vivien honey, I-I-I’m sorry.”

Vivien looked up in surprise. She had seen Elvis be remorseful about things many times, but she knew a straightforward apology was sometimes hard for him.

“It was never my intention ta make ya feel like I don’t want’cha around.”

“I just don’t understand what happened.” Vivien blinked back the tears she could feel welling up and smoothed out her short swingy blue skirt with her free hand. “When you came over that night and told me it was time and that she was leaving, and then you made love to me so beautifully, I was on top of the world. I thought my heart might burst with love for you. I’d been waiting so long to hear you say those words. And for a couple months, it felt like we were both sharing that happiness. Then something happened. You stopped wanting me with you. Elvis, I don’t know what to think. Before, there was a reason I couldn’t be with you. Now it just feels like you stopped loving me.”

“Baby, I could never stop lovin’ ya. You’re ever’thing I’ve been lookin’ for my whole life.” Elvis blinked back his own tears and continued. “I sometimes wonder if I even deserve all the love ya give ta me, honey.”

“Is that why you’re pushing me away? You think you don’t deserve to be loved?”

“This life can be confusing, Vivien. My fans love me, but they don’t know all of me, all my faults. I-I-I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes in this life, and I know that you see that side of me. Other women I’ve been with, they see my faults and they want a break or they want to change me or control me. But you see it and you’re still here lovin’ me anyway. And I think, ‘What did I do to deserve that?’”

Vivien’s heart melted with compassion for this beautiful man and the vulnerability he was displaying. “You’re just you, Elvis. You’re the strongest, most generous, kindest, funniest, warm-hearted person I’ve ever known. You should never doubt for a second that you deserve to be loved, completely and unconditionally. Just let me give you that love. Let me be there and take care of you and give you everything I have to give.”

Elvis wiped a tear away and swallowed nervously before continuing. “Vivien, it’s hard for me to admit things like this, but I’m scared. I shoulda told ya earlier, but the reason I started pullin’ back is cuz I found out that ‘Cilla left me for another man. And I jus’ keep wonderin’ how long before ya decide I’m n-n-not man enough for ya.”

Vivien tried to stifle the noise that was about to emerge, but a cross between a laugh and a snort came pouring out. Elvis turned red and pulled his hand away. “It’s not funny, Vivien. This really messed me up. I-”

“Elvis, hold on, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. Priscilla leaving for another man doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It just means the two of you weren’t right for each other. Not like me and you, right?”

Elvis contemplated. “I suppose so. It jus’ hurt my pride ta find that out. But that’s what I came back to tell ya - that I don’t want what happened in the past to ruin the future. I’m clingin’ to my pride when I should be clingin’ ta you. I want ya with me Vivien. Come be with me.”

“Elvis I would follow you to the ends of the Earth.” Vivien leaned in and kissed his tear-dampened cheek. “I know you always try to be strong, but you can always tell me when you’re feeling bad. I want to take care of you the way that you always take care of everyone around you. And I just can’t believe you’d ever feel like you’re not man enough. You are so unbelievably manly.” Vivien’s voice dropped to a near whisper as she looked him over, really taking in for the first time the form-fitting white pants he was wearing with his silky blue shirt.

Elvis’ lips raised in a crooked smirk when he noticed her wandering eyes. “Remember the first time we sat on this couch together baby? And ya kept tryin’ ta take a peek at my…manhood?”

“I’ll never forget it,” Vivien giggled and blushed, her heart racing as she recalled their first time alone together. “But you really can’t blame me when you refused to wear underwear and had yourself just…jiggling around.”

“Lemme tell ya a little secret, honey. I ain’t wearin’ any underwear right now either.” Elvis smirked and gave her a little wink.

“Mmm is that so?” Vivien leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Neither am I.”

“With that little skirt? Honey, anyone could be seein’ what belongs ta me.” Elvis sounded equally irritated and turned on.

“Well, I ran out of clean clothes and I was going to do my laundry when I got to Roxanne’s apartment.” Vivien climbed on top of Elvis’ lap, straddling his thighs with her own. “But now maybe we can make the most of the situation.”

“Oh yeah? What’d ya have in mind?” Elvis groaned a little as Vivien shifted back and forth on his lap. “Is anyone else home?”

“I think they all went to the store.” Vivien reached down to unbuckle Elvis’ pants.

“B-b-but they, uh, they could be back soon, honey,” Elvis half-heartedly protested as she finished unzipping him and pulled his dick out, staring in awe while he grew harder, his head emerging fully, as if it were the first time she ever laid eyes on him.

“I guess we’ll just have to hurry then, won’t we?” she whispered conspiratorially as she lowered herself onto him, eliciting another groan as he disappeared inside of her. “Plus if anyone walks in, we’re all covered,” she added, spreading her skirt over their exposed bits.

“Oh shit Vivien, I missed ya, baby,” Elvis panted as he bucked his hips up into her, about to burst with pleasure.

“Elvis I need you so bad,” Vivien moaned. “I love having you inside of me.”

“Oh God, oh God,” Elvis thrust upward one last time as Vivien rocked her hips back and forth, milking everything out of him before settling her head down on his shoulder.

“I’m so lucky to have you. You will always be all the man I need. I love you.”

“I love ya too, baby. Now let’s find ya a pair of panties so we can get goin’ back ta Vegas before the Colonel finds out I’m gone.”

Vivien giggled as she rose from the couch. “Oh shoot! I left Roxanne waiting outside all this time.” She peeked out onto the porch and saw that, not only was Roxanne no longer sitting there, her car was gone as well. “Oh no! Do you think she heard us and left? Or what if she came in and we didn’t hear her?” Vivien started to panic as Elvis let out a loud burst of laughter.

“Don’t worry honey. Like ya said, we were all covered up.” His laughter grew as Vivien’s blush grew more vibrant.

“Elvis! It’s not funny!”

**********************************************

Vivien sat on the couch in Elvis’ suite after the show, watching him walk around and mingle with his friends and some guests. Right now he was talking to his new friend Larry. Or was it an old friend? She’d had some trouble following the timeline Larry had tried explaining when they sat next to each other during the show. Larry seemed to be talking Elvis’ ear off while Elvis kept sneaking little glances at her, that adorable crooked grin adorning his face.

“Man, she’s perfect for you, Elvis. I could see the way your energy ignited a desire in her, for life, for knowledge. The way she was watching you with open eyes and open heart, I asked her if it was her first time seeing you perform.”

“What’d she say?” Elvis chuckled, glancing over at Vivien.

“That the magic of watching you is always like the first time.”

Elvis blushed a little bit as Larry recounted Vivien’s words.

“Man, I’m telling you, hold onto this one. Let all that bad energy out so you can make room for the good.”

“I’ll try my best, Lawrence.”

“Hey, Elvis, why’d ya have ta go and bring your chick back here? How are we supposed ta watch the special movie ya had me get?” Joe came sauntering over, looking like he’d maybe imbibed one too many times.

Elvis rolled his eyes. “What makes ya think that was for you to see? I better check it out first and make sure your innocent little eyes can handle it.”

“C’mon, Elvis, there were supposed to be no women on this tour. At least none that we’d remember later.” Joe howled like a hyena at his own joke as Elvis’ gaze turned cold. He glanced over at where Vivien sat, hoping Joe’s idiocy hadn’t wafted all the way to her ears.

“How ‘bout ya gather up whatever groupies will have ya and get the hell outta my room?” Elvis snapped. “Actually, ever’one can get out. Party’s over for tonight.”

As the room emptied, Vivien looked up at Elvis quizzically. “What was the special movie you asked for?”

Elvis blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his fingers. “Oh, ya heard that? I suppose ya heard ever’thing else he said too?”

Vivien nodded and reached out for his hand, pulling him down on the couch next to her.

“I’m sorry baby, Joe’s jus’ an asshole, he didn’t mean-”

“Elvis, it’s okay. It’s me and you now, right?”

Elvis smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. “That’s right, baby.”

“So, what about the movie?” Vivien was surprised to see the blush return to Elvis’ face at her question. He stared down at her soft hand in his before answering with his own question.

“Ya ever seen a dirty movie, honey?”

“A dirty movie?” she echoed, as if incapable of comprehending.

“Yeah, y’know, a skin flick?”

“Oooh,” Vivien exclaimed, feeling her own face turn red now. “You mean…pornography?” her voice dropped to a whisper. “No, of course not.”

Elvis smiled at the way this girl who had hopped on his lap with no qualms not twelve hours ago could still be so sweetly innocent in some ways.

“D-d-do ya wanna watch with me? I-I mean, I don’t want ya ta feel uncomfortable or anything. But maybe it would be fun,” he added slyly.

“Um, okay, we could try it,” Vivien agreed, trying to sound calm.

Elvis grabbed the film reel that Joe had brought in earlier and headed for the bedroom. “I might need your help with the projector. Usually one of the guys sets this up for me,” he called out. Vivien nervously followed him into the bedroom where he was fiddling with the projector and the reel.

“I think you just - there, like that,” she said, helping him set it up.

“Thanks, baby. I don’t know what I’d do without ya.” Elvis gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

“I suppose you’d be watching a dirty movie with a bunch of men?” Vivien asked, somewhat confused about the ritual.

Elvis let out a big guffaw. “Well, when ya say it like that honey, it sounds kinda weird. Why don’t we put on something more comfortable?” He handed Vivien her silky nightgown with the thin straps and headed for the bathroom with his own pajamas. “I’ll be right back. Don’t ya go disappearin’,” he called out. When he emerged, Vivien was propped up against the headboard, her legs stretched out in front of her. Elvis started the reel and nestled in next to her.

“Deep Throat,” Vivien read as the words scrolled across the small projector screen. She could feel her palms getting sweaty for some reason and wondered if this was a good idea. She’d never even seen another man naked, and now she was going to watch people having sex?

In the uncanny way that he always seemed to read her thoughts, Elvis wrapped an arm around her and reassured, “If you feel uncomfortable baby, jus’ let me know. We can always turn it off.” Vivien nodded and let her hand drift over and rub little circles on his strong sturdy thigh.

As the action progressed, Vivien couldn’t help but notice Elvis’ bulge growing more prominent. He rubbed his hand over the top of it and let out a little groan, causing Vivien’s mind to race with both excitement and insecurities. “Elvis?”

“Yes baby?”

“Are you, um, are you turned on because she’s prettier than me?” Vivien asked, hoping she didn’t sound as ridiculous as she felt.

“Honey, no way is there a woman prettier than you. I’m turned on cuz’ I got this gorgeous angel sittin’ here next ta me. I’d like ta see even more of ya,” he whispered as he slowly pulled the strap of her nightgown down over her shoulder. The silky material slid down, exposing her left breast to the cool hotel air. “Goddamn baby, did I ever tell ya that you’ve got the most perfect nipples I’ve ever seen? Just beggin’ ta be licked and sucked on.” He turned his body and leaned down, drawing her nipple into his mouth, nipping gently with his teeth while his supple lips held it firmly in their grasp.

“Elvis, oh God,” Vivien moaned as he pulled the other strap down and started kissing and licking her right breast.

“Ya like that, honey?” Elvis whispered as he pulled back and watched the blissful look on her face. “Would ya kiss me too?” He grabbed her hand and set it where he wanted to be kissed. Vivien felt him pulsing with desire.

They both glanced back at the screen and Vivien’s face turned bright red when she saw what was happening.

“Honey,” Elvis whispered, drawing her attention back to him. “Do ya think ya could feel pleasure like that? From takin’ me in your mouth and makin’ me feel good?”

“I do love making you feel good.” Vivien moved her hand up toward the waistband of his pants.

“I have an idea, but I don’t want ya ta feel no pressure, okay? What if we could both kiss each other there and make each other feel good at the same time?”

“What do you mean?” Vivien looked into his eyes, so heavy with lust.

“Lemme show ya, baby. Just take this nightgown off and bring your body over here.” Elvis slid his pajama pants down his legs and scooched down so he was flat on his back. He positioned Vivien so she was straddling him and facing the other way.

“Elvis, I don’t know,” she whispered. “I’m nervous.”

“Jus’ try it with me baby, please?” Elvis pleaded. He pulled her up higher so her thighs were straddling his face. “Mmm goddamn now that’s a view,” he murmured. “Honey I want ya ta jus’ lay yourself right on me and give me some kisses, okay?”

Vivien lay her body down against his and took hold of Little Elvis in her hand. He had already emerged from his cocoon and was dripping with arousal. She wrapped her lips around him right as she felt Elvis spread her open with his fingers and dip his tongue inside of her. Unable to form words, she moaned loudly around his dick, the vibrations shooting pleasure through his whole body. She used her hands to explore and massage every part of him, the flesh of his inner thighs soft under her fingertips.

“Oh fuck,” Elvis whispered into her wet pussy, trying to control the flicks of his tongue while his body was coursing with pure excitement. Her thighs started shaking around him as he sucked on her clit, knowing his own eruption would come any second. The ecstasy overtook them both until their bodies relaxed into each other, moans giving way to soft contented sighs.

“C’mere baby.” Elvis helped Vivien climb off and pulled her up toward him, giving her a deep passionate kiss, the taste of their arousal mixing together. “Oh God,” Elvis groaned. “I think I’ve got some more ta give.” He rolled on top of her and thrust gently, sliding right inside of her through the wetness.

“Elvis, it feels so good. You always make me feel so good,” Vivien panted, delirious with pleasure.

“Wow,” Elvis whispered after the second high had washed over them. “I guess the movie was a good idea, huh?”

Vivien giggled and covered her blushing face. “I didn’t need the movie to be turned on by you,” she teased. “Besides, I don’t like seeing another man like that. His thing looked weird.”

“Is that right?” Elvis laughed his infectious booming laugh.

“Yeah, it’s not beautiful like yours. With a nice cocoon to keep him warm and safe.” Vivien smiled and lightly traced over Little Elvis with her fingers. She loved the way he felt, even when he was resting.

“Okay, baby, ya ain’t never gotta see another man’s thing, okay? Jus’ mine.” Elvis pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

“That sounds perfect,” she whispered. “Hey, why’d you keep your shirt on the whole time? That’s not fair.”

Elvis grimaced a little and mumbled an answer. “I think I’m startin’ ta gain a few pounds. I need ta lose some weight before my satellite concert in Hawaii.”

“What?! You look amazing,” Vivien exclaimed. “And I love to feel your furry body against mine when you make love to me.” She smiled dreamily and slipped her hand under his shirt to rub his soft hairy belly.

“Okay, next time,” Elvis chuckled.

“Are you taking me to Hawaii with you?” Vivien held her breath waiting for his response, hoping she wouldn’t be disappointed.

“Of course. I ain’t lettin’ ya outta my sight again, little girl. I love ya so much.”

Tag List: @whositmcwhatsit @lookingforrainbows @arrolyn1114 @thatbanditqueen @missmaywemeetagain @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @from-memphis-with-love @pebbles403 @deniseinmn @everythingelvispresley @little-laamb @annapresley8 @leapresley @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @atleastpleasetelephone @gatheraheart @richardslady121 @helen06dreamer @arg-xoxo @i-r-i-n-a-a @returntopresley

[cooliogirl101]

The dynamic between Hisana and Aizen in the exes au is really intense, and makes me want to ship it. But also, by that point in time, all of Aizen's actions are probably a giant X mark for Hisana's personal ideas and morals. Possibly if Hisana had met him much earlier? But that would have to be a lot earlier.

Yeah, in any event Hisana would not be the one to compromise on her morals.

But imagine if, in that world, Aizen actually won. He gets the Hogyoku, evolves into a higher being, defeats the Soul King, and at the end of it all, he just feels…bored. He won, there’s no one left to challenge, and he’s realizing he doesn’t actually want to be the leader of all 3 realms. He doesn’t care enough about the world to really want to change it but he doesn’t want things to stay at status quo either.

You know who never ran out of ideas on how to change the world though? His chronically power-averse, hates-to-be-recognized, hates-to-be-promoted, allergic-to-the-spotlight former lieutenant.

And then he realizes he has the opportunity to do the funniest possible thing.

“Don’t look so miserable, dearest,” Sousuke smiled. “Do you know how many people would kill to be in your position? How many people have killed? Myself included, as you’re aware.”

Momo glared harder at him, practically vibrating with rage.

“When have I,” she bit out, sounding angrier with each syllable, “ever given you the impression I wanted to be in this position?”

“Now, now,” Sousuke chided, sounding disturbingly like a disappointed father scolding a child. Or he would have, had it not been for the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “What kind of captain would I be if I never pushed you to challenge yourself?” He paused. “Besides, would you really rather I sit on that throne instead?”

“It would fit your gigantic head a lot better,” Momo muttered, but didn’t actually disagree. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why are you doing this? And don’t give me some bullshit answer, tell me the truth. I think you owe me that much at least.”

“You and I had two very different viewpoints on how the world should be run. On what would make it a better place,” Sousuke responded after a moment’s consideration. “Well now I’m giving you the power to put your theories to the test.” He smiled challengingly at her. “Come on, Momo. Don’t you want to prove me wrong?”

(Rangiku: So you’re telling me he just…handed you the world on a silver platter. Just like that.

Rangiku: …

Rangiku: Well as far as apologies go, it’s not the worst one I’ve seen.

Momo: What are you talking about? He’s clearly punishing me for daring to disagree with him. Do you know how much work goes into running the world? This is just like when he promoted me to lieutenant. He knew I didn’t want the position and gave it to me anyway—

Rangiku: Because you clearly deserved it? Because you worked your ass off for the good of Squad 5? Because he liked that you weren’t afraid to challenge him? Because if he didn’t promote you, that would’ve raised questions?

Momo: What? No, it’s because he was trying to mess with me.

Rangiku: …I’m gonna shut up now because I’m getting dangerously close to agreeing with Aizen Sousuke and I don’t want that.)

[to-be-a-dreamer]

you sound like a right winger. cancel culture?

This is legitimately the funniest insult I’ve ever received thank you Anon. Like, you can’t think of any better way to discredit my post about how I wish people would just let a character be Not Racist and acknowledge that sometimes people can learn they were wrong and become better people so you call me (a queer woman of color who is college-educated and an immigrant, btw, just so we’re all on the same page) a “right winger” for using easily-recognizable terminology to ensure everyone reading understands what I think is the core issue. Incredible, insane, I wish you weren’t a coward who posted anonymously so I could scroll through your blog because I’m sure you’ve got jokes.

But anyways, since we’re all here I’ll take the opportunity to explain what I mean and my thoughts on cancel culture.

Original post that Anon is talking about for reference

People on the internet are obsessed with this idea of perfection. They think that a person has to do the right thing, always, every time. They think that a person who does or has ever done something shitty is just a shitty person who doesn’t deserve a platform. And they think that a person who was a shitty person in the past should always be viewed in that way. They can never accept that someone could have toxic or harmful views, realize they were wrong, and then become a better person, especially if they went through that journey offline or a long time ago. They don’t care if the person they see before them is clearly an open-minded, good person who doesn’t possess those views anymore. In their eyes, that person is still that same bigoted asshole from three, five, ten, twenty years ago and they have to acknowledge that past and be publicly shamed for it every single day in order to be “forgiven”. (They will never truly forgive)

And it’s just. I don’t understand it because what is the point of activism and education if we’re not going to allow people to learn what we’re trying to teach? How is our movement supposed to grow if we don’t accept the people who have been touched and reformed by it? How does any of this get better if we don’t allow people to be better?

Here’s my biggest problem with “cancel culture” (the mass ostracism and shaming of someone who has behaved or spoken in a socially unacceptable way). I think that this kind of mindset has led to an entire generation of internet users who are terrified of ever doing “the wrong thing” on the internet. We’re so afraid of making mistakes because we know how hard it is to come back from that and how unforgivable the rest of the internet is. And it’s turned us into overly defensive people who struggle to admit when we’ve done something wrong. We’re terrified to consider the possibility that we’re the "bad guy" in any situation because we've convinced ourselves that doing something shitty makes you a shitty person. We think our individual actions are lifetime sentences. I've seen so many people on the internet make small mistakes but double down and take things way too far when they're called out for it because they don't want to see themselves as a person who does problematic things. Because we've convinced ourselves that making a mistake makes you a bad person on a fundamental level. We've tied the amount of criticism we receive to our self-worth.

I also notice that it prevents people who actually need to learn and be better from realizing that. Because the amount of hate someone receives is so disproportionate to any mistake they actually made, it's so easy for a person to think "okay there's no way I deserve to be harassed this much, this is probably just the internet overreacting again, I haven't done anything wrong" and instead of learning the small lesson they needed to learn they just brush off the hate and dismiss it as cancel culture.

And so to bring this back to 9-1-1, I do think that some of the hate towards Tommy is due to shipping wars, but on a deeper level I think people just can't handle the truth that Tommy is actually a good person now. Maybe it stems from people hating the idea that someone who made their own lives miserable could learn and grow and become a better person later in life like Tommy did. Maybe people have some unresolved trauma about bigots that they're projecting onto these characters. Maybe they want to feel morally superior and just don't like the idea that someone who was shitty in the past could go on to have the same views and ideals as them. It's hard to tell for sure and it probably varies from person to person but I think the idea that a person has to be defined by their past is a big part of it on all levels.

Anyways, those are my thoughts on cancel culture as a whole and why I think the current generation of internet users has a really tough time taking accountability and why we all have rejection sensitivity (not RSD, the actual real medical condition, just a general sensitivity to being told you're in the wrong). We don't like to confront our own flaws because, according to the internet, those flaws make you a terrible person always and forever and you will never be able to overcome them or move past them. I hope this all makes sense I've been thinking about this a lot since 2020 but I've never tried to explain it in words. I don't think there's anything wrong with holding people accountable for past actions, I think there's something wrong with the disproportionate hate those people receive and the amount of shaming and shunning they have to go through before they're allowed to move on with their lives.

[lilislegacy]

Hello!

I have some small and random headcannons that are not really big enough to justify a big ol' post about so I'm just dropping them in your ask box lol

-Jason is red/green color blind like a dog or wolf

- Annabeth has a little dolphin plushie that percy insisted that she get while they were at an aquarium to "heal her inner child"

- I know this is kinda already said because Piper's eyecolor is ambiguous, but what if she has spectral heterochromia. Like different colors in the same iris

- Leo knows all the words to all the songs in highschool musical (just seems like something he'd know lol)

- Annabeth wears noise canceling headphones a lot of the time because she's really sensitive to sound

- Rachel will give people like random things. "Here I found this rock and it reminded me of you" "have this cool leaf!!" Stuff like that

- Hazel and Nico are both short because it makes them closer to the underworld

Just some random thoughts lol enjoy!

thanks for the ask @invadericee!!

omg i love these

the jason color blind one is an interesting thought. follow up question: why would that be? is it related to him living with the wolves?

percy making annabeth buy a little stuffed dolphin, or buying it for her, is the cutest thing ever. and knowing percy he’d probably buy something for himself too lol (we shall never forget the fallen panda pillow 🪦💔). and you know every time she looks at it she’s gonna think of him (she’d totally sleep with it and snuggle it when he’s not there)

yeah piper’s eyes are said to look like kaleidoscopes. super cool and pretty!

leo and the high school musical soundtrack LOL. he would 😂

idk about annabeth being sensitive to loud noises, given her life is constantly filled with battles and giants and explosions and well… mass chaos. but i can totally see her wearing noise canceling headphones while she studies. she says in MoA that she needs her study space to be plain and non-distracting, so it makes total sense that she would need silence too (especially if percy is studying next to her and tapping his foot and pencil drumming lol)

rachel is TOTALLY the type of person to do that. she’s the friend who gives you the most random shit for your birthday. like she’ll give you dirty rocks with some special meanings that you don’t get 😂

bestie… the hazel and nico one is so out of pocket, and it made me cackle. that’s the funniest hc ive ever seen. i do picture them both being short, and this is the best explanation i’ve ever heard. leo or percy would totally say this. i love this 😂😂

thank you for your wonderful thoughts! i always enjoy them!!

[melobin]

“i love all 7 not just one” yet ur so dismissive abt a certain member which clearly isn’t loving all 7 goofy ass. no wonder ur friends with ninona 🤣 both y’all r ot6ers

me when i’m onto nothing the fact you can sit and assume you know how i genuinely feel about ot7 riize is crazy to me. you can continue to think what you want to because i can assure you both ninona and i do not gaf !! im far past the point of caring if people think i negatively of me over the situation with seunghan !! i know i love seunghan ! my friends know it too ! i do not gaf if random people on the internet think differently bc frankly why should i ? i run a smut blog girl im just here to talk about cock 99% of the time 😭

if i’m being completely honest here. i feel like people seem to struggle to grasp the concept that people handle things in their own ways. i’m a very sensitive and emotional person and over the years ive been trying to deal with that in a way where i don’t get hurt so easily. i’ve been dealing with severe anxiety for years i have chronic depression if i sat and thought about seunghan’s hiatus every day i would be completely miserable and worried and that’s not how i want to be i want to be okay i want to feel okay.

grief has never been something i ever get too emotional over it just doesn’t happen, of course it’s sad to not see him there but the way i handle things doesn’t mean i dislike him in anyway shape or form and i’m frankly quite tired of having to explain myself about this. at the end of the day, if seunghan returns it’ll be one of the best things to happen, it’ll make me incredibly happy, i don’t talk about my emotions often but if you want the truth there it is. if he, god forbid, ends up being removed from riize then it will hurt me and i will be upset. i’d rather spend his hiatus in a middle group of knowing there’s realistically a 50/50 chance of him returning and him not rather than sitting and getting my hopes up only to be hurt and upset after.

the way i deal with this hiatus is for my own benefit and my own sanity, i don’t want to be sad all the time, i just barely made it out of a depressive episode and i know if i sat and dwelled on him being on hiatus then i probably wouldn’t have made it out of it. the way i treat the other 6 members is the same way i treat seunghan, i feel the same way about them all, it’s just not as simple to show that when he’s not in gifs or videos or photos.

writing about him is not as easy because i haven’t seen him for months and as time has gone by the other 6 have become more visibly comfortable and free on camera and we never got to see that with him. i love writing for him, his porn plot fic is one of my favourite fics ive written and im always happy to write for him. i just tend to write more for sungchan and eunseok because those are the members i am more sexually attracted to, im a slut man idk what you want me to say. people rarely send asks about seunghan, they’re mainly about sungchan and anton and there’s nothing i can do about that. if people send asks about him, i answer them? if they don’t then i dont, i can’t answer something that isn’t there.

i don’t mean to post such a long rant but frankly i’m just tired of having to say the same thing over and over. no, i don’t care if you think badly of me over it, i don’t care for people who think they know how i feel about something and act as if their opinion is the be all end all. so thank you for sending this so i could freely express my feelings about this.

and DAWG leave ninona out of this as well !!! she expressed why she doesn’t write for him and i touched on my own feelings about writing for seunghan. i never once viewed her in a negative way, she’s one of the funniest people ive had the pleasure of befriending and no, she doesn’t hate seunghan either !

[rondo-grazioso]

some math professor quotes

I just remembered about this draft post i made years ago during a semester when i had maybe the funniest professors ever. I guess now that it’s been a while since i’ve been out of uni it’d be fun to just post these 

Algebra

it’s ok that i’m confused, i’m confused all the time

you can teach a monkey to memorize…well, nothing against monkeys, monkeys are amazing

pray that this is an isomorphism

(TA after realizing mistake) oh noooooo….all the other students….i told them the wrong thing…aaah shit

wow…spontaneous silence

can they smurf better

if you look at the solutions after trying a question only once or twice, it will break my heart

last-minute cramming will be about as useful as bringing your dog to the exam

Calculus

this fucker converges

(every time he writes a complicated equation) what the fuuuuu

fuck the one

you know what bfc stands for? big fuckin cube

mathematics is serious!! we don’t like laughter. no laughter allowed. stop laughing. even smiling is not allowed

(someone’s phone goes off) what was that? probably me

(some weird noise coming from outside) what was that? god is that you

e^x is god’s function. lnx is the devil’s function

*comes in talking in a russian accent*

if you don’t know what the dot product is then…you’re fucked 

(after telling a story about experience working in a mental asylum) you may think i’m insane, but you haven’t seen what insane really is!! i’m perfectly normal 

Analysis

½ is less than 1…somehow

oh, 5 minutes left…well, i don’t really have anything else i want to cover. actually maybe i’ll just write a definition *(whole class goes NOOOOO)* okayyy

(finding out there is 15 minutes left of class) oh wow. i thought this would’ve taken me more time to get through

(after playing around with some faulty blackboards) i’m scared for my life now 

(after being stuck on his own proof) i’m going to take a quick look at my notes, which is already pretty embarrassing 

(after making a gajillion mistakes on the board) i really need to learn to read before i talk 

what do you call this in canada

(TA) *coughs* sorry i’m dying 

(TA) somebody on the midterm wrote “i’m dumb” on this question. that’s pretty irrelevant because i’m dumb and i can do this question