#this is one of my two greatest flaws. the other is that I'm kind of bratty especially around close family members

[asinglesock]

the heart of the issue blocking my development is a fear of being wrong. under the fear of being wrong is a fear of hard work, the work of correcting myself. under the fear of work is a fear of futility, which is not so far removed from my fear of being wrong.

[musiccutiepatooty]

Logan Howlett Love Languages

Here's my thoughts on the love languages in regards to Logan

Word Count: 1.5k

I am a firm believer that every love language is given and received in some capacity in relationships. With Logan it is absolutely no different. In order form least to greatest, in my opinion, Logan's love languages are: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch.

Gift giving:

I believe that Logan loves to receives gifts from you… eventually. When you first gave him a gift (before you all had started dating) he was very hesitant to accept it. You were being nice to him and that usually ended poorly for the people being nice to him. He just told you to keep it and left you standing in your tracks. He was surprised to later find a bag sitting on his doorstep. He begrudgingly took the gift inside, but didn’t open it for a couple of days. When he finally opened the gift bag, it revealed a small key chain with an 'L' on it. You had seen him in the hall with two keys in his hand. Both of them were separate from each other.

When you saw him pull out his mail key then shove it back into his pocket in favor of his house key you stopped. "How do you keep track of them? It two separate keys."

"It's just two keys," he said quizzically. The look you gave him was blank for a second and then you shook your head, going into your house with a small smile.

When he saw the key chain and remembered the front porch interaction, he felt a pang of endearment in his chest.

Words of affirmation:

It was going to be a rough day for Logan. He woke up with the voices in his head being stronger than his ability to ignore them. All of his failures were on the forefront of him mind and he had only been awake for ten minutes.

You rolled toward him, stretching your arm around his midsection and kissing the back of his shoulder. He felt you murmur something against his back but it didn’t register. "What'd ya say, baby?"

"I said 'how's my beautifully incredible husband doing this morning?'" This caused a small smile to form on Logan's lips and his brain to be turn down a notch.

Throughout the day, it was like you knew that he was in his head. You were showering his with verbal praise.  "You're treat me so well, honey." "I'm so lucky to have you." "You're such a good friend." It was helping hush his thoughts.

The one that silenced his brain completely came when y'all were sitting on your couch, you reading a book with your feet in Logan's lap and him watching tv absentmindedly stroking your legs. You gently tapped him with your foot until he was looking at you. He was met with your smiling face as when he turned his head. "You know you're doing really well and I'm proud of you."

He stared at you long after you went back to reading your book. When he has a hard day, hearing you just be kind to him calms him down. And the fact that you love him despite his flaws lets him know your words are true.

Quality time:

Once he got past the "I'm not good for you. Stay away from me" mindset, I firmly believe that Logan will make any excuse just to be around you. And I mean like you're taking a shower and he's in there. Not in the shower. He is just sitting on the toilet so that he can talk to you.

The knock on the door wasn't heard over your music until it got a little bit more persistent. You gave a quick "yes" to come in and he gingerly peeks his head in the door, "can I come in?" you pop your head around the edge of the shower curtain and gave a small smile and nod. "Come on in, baby."

You expected Logan to start taking articles of clothing off and join you in the shower, so it was a surprise when he lowered the toilet lid and sat down on it, "You're not getting in?" You cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I already showered this morning. And you're shaving your legs I know you need some room for that," he leaned back against the toilet and spread his legs out. "Just wanted to talk to you."

You closed the shower curtain and chuckled as Logan began to rattle off questions to you.

...

He is also a sucker for sitting beside you doing nothing. You can both be doing your own thing and he can enjoy just being in your presence. Like you're both sitting with the TV on, a show that you and Logan have started together but never seem to pay attention to, and you've both ended up scrolling on your phones. You remove your feet from Logan's lap and make a move to stand up, making him perk up. "Where ya going?"

"Just going to pee and then getting a snack." you stood fully and kissed his head. "Do you want something?"

"Just for you to make it quick," He settled back into the couch, looking up at you, satisfied that you wouldn't be gone long, "wouldn't want you to miss too much of the show."

"If I didn't know any better, it seems like you're gonna miss me." "You could say that."

Acts of service:

Logan's boss had been on him about production. You had been working 15 hour days. You listened to his spiel at breakfast and he listened to yours. After breakfast you handed Logan his lunch box. You mentioned you were able to come home early today and would be crashing as you had to prepare for another early morning the next day. He promised he'd be quiet when he got home and gave you a kiss as you both headed out of the door.

As promised, he was damn near silent when he entered your home. The first thing he noticed was that every light was off aside from the one above the stove and the light in your shared bedroom. The light above the stove illuminated a lidded pot. Opening the lid, his favorite entrée was revealed. Initially he was thankful for the meal because he was starving, even after his huge lunch that you so graciously packed for him. (I swear this man has a huge appetite). His gratefulness was increased ten fold when he remembered that you were not a fan of his favorite dish, though you made it so well.

On the lid in his hands, he noticed a post-it note: 'Sides are in the oven. You don’t have to produce anything tonight. ♥"

Even dead tired you still took the time to make him a meal that you knew he would enjoy. Logan felt his shoulders relax and his heart warm.

Physical touch:

Sounds cliché but he has had so much violence in his life that when it comes to your gentle hands… Lord does he just melt. From scratching his scalp while you guys are lying down to you wrapping your arm around his while you're walking to placing your head on his shoulder while you're sitting and watching tv.

Logan had explained to you that he was a mutant, the Wolverine, and that he had claws. He gave you the whole rundown of Stryker's experiments and how that gave his claws and skeleton a metal coating. He told you all about his war escapades and his time with the X-Men. At the end of his speech, he revealed his claws.

You were silent for a moment and looked at his hands. You held out your hand and looked at Logan, asking for permission to touch him. He gave a small nod and you raised your hands to his, dragging your fingertips along the topside of the claws. You poked the end gently, like an idiot, and felt the sharp sting. Logan just looked at you and cocked his eyebrow with a 'really?' expression. You placed your finger in your mouth to collect the blood droplet.

You nodded for a moment and then your eyebrows shot up, "Is that why you're so fucking heavy when you lay on me?!"

All Logan could do was chuckle as he retracted his claws and kiss you. But he noticed from that point forward, you made extra efforts to touch and hold his hands.

When you are sitting and watching TV, you're absentmindedly stroking over his knuckles. Grocery shopping, your hand is draped on top of his on the cart. Making dinner together, you're taking an extra long time to grab the spoon from him, making sure your hands connect. He is in love with it. Who would have thunk it; Mr. Big Bad Logan Howlett, the Wolverine, is an AVID hand holder.

You distinctly remember the time you both were making dinner and he hand-fed you a pepper from your stir fry. You quickly chomped down on the pepper and smiled at him grabbing his hand and placing a kiss on his knuckles. You could see his brain short circuiting as his face turned a deep red.

Divider Credit: @bunnysrph I'm gonna figure out how I want to set these up because I plan to write more Logan stuff. Pls leave me feedback! I haven't actually written anything in like two years so I'm a bit rusty. Anyways... thanks for reading!!

[thestargayzingheroine]

Why A Better World is my favourite "Evil Superman" Story

So in the last two decades or so, there's been a notable amount of dark and edgy stories around superheroes turning evil and whatnot and most of them really love to do their own expies of Superman. I've never been the biggest fans of these kinds of stories.

And then there's the actual stories of Superman and other heroes being outright villains or at least just massive assholes. In recent years, this has been largely thanks to the influence of media like the Injustice Games or the Synderverse DC movies. It's... honestly become a trope I am tired of.

Because you know the damnest thing? There is a story that does all these ideas really damn well and arguably better. It is the two-parter from the Justice League cartoon "A Better World".

Now, I am aware how most people favouring the DCAU has become a bit of toxic nostalgia at times and it's something I myself am trying to work through a bit. But in this case, I do think it's the best idea of doing an evil DC story, much better and more interesting than the Crime Syndicate, who if you ask me are not very interesting, though I do remember liking the Crisis On Two Earths movie a lot, which funny enough, was originally going to be this two parter before various things led to it being canned and then later repurposed as a direct to DVD movie.

Anyway, my main crux of why I love this story is simple... The entire Justice League turns evil... and the reasons are very much in-character for all of them. You look at the scene with Justice Lord Batman for example.

As fucking evil as the Justice Lords are... Batman can't quite fully hate his alternate self for his reason for taking part in all this being basically one-step further than his own mission, that no child should ever go through what he did. Hell, I recall reading that the reason the writers had Batman drop his batarang at the end of this scene... was because he genuinely wouldn't be able to come up with an argument to that.

Superman likewise kills Lex Luthor because yeah, Luthor literally exploited the flaws in Democracy and became president of the US, threatening to kinda basically start world war 3. It's obviously horrible... but Superman is a character whose main motivation is making the world a better place. And if people who abuse the systems of power of the world are hurting people, why shouldn't Superman put a stop to that?

And yeah, Superman should obviously never kill, he's the most paragon of paragons of the DC universe, a man committed to always being better than the villains he fights... but this is him pushed to his most logical extreme. Hell, the main Superman knows this and its why Lex used his knowledge of this alternate universe as part of his plan in the season after this, to goad our Superman into crossing the line because yeah, there's a part of him that could go this far.

But right as Superman is about to apparently finish him, the big guy says this.

"I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. I wish to heaven that I were but I'm not."

Because Superman like everyone else, obviously would have those same thoughts and same urges. He's human.

I've kinda gone off Injustice a bit because to be honest... the injustice games were kinda just this but a bit too edgelordy. Hell, in A Better World, Lois Lane still lives and the whole genesis of it doesn't revolve around her getting fridged.

So yeah, A Better World is probably one of my favourite mirror universe stories because of the fact that well... it really is like looking in a mirror and seeing just how easy the greatest heroes can become evil and how they wouldn't be massively out of character doing so. But also it reminds us that as much as this darkness can tempt some of our finest, the ones who don't go down this dark path are stronger in heart than anyone else. Because when the world becomes a dark and horrible place, it becomes very easy to be just as dark. But even though it can be hard to still try and be a good person even in dark times, it's ultimately worth it. Because good always triumphs over evil.

[candyskiez]

Okay one more thing before I sleep: I've been thinking about Mob has an awful lot of personas that he was given without wanting them. Like White T Poison became a rumor and got completely out of control without Mob doing anything. Psycho Helmet was Mob during a breakdown and suddenly became this massive romanticized figure that was also incredibly controlling and dangerous. Thinks about how Mob being perceived as someone else is a massive conflict, and how people assume what he wants and feels without really asking him. Thinks about how people will give what Mob does Motives and Reasons that don't exist, thinking he's being creepy or a dick when he didn't mean to do anything and is kind of just...aimless. Thinks about how personas are a massive thing in mp100 and how these personas weren't things Mob wanted, they were just something he suddenly was given and everyone decided that's who he was without him actually doing anything at all. So many other characters have these personas they were suddenly given as well. Tsumobi is the Perfect School Idol, even to Mob for a while, complete with giving her a face that isn't hers and a personality that isn't hers that she has to live up to. Ritsu is the perfect student, and he has to fill those shoes or hes a liar. Thinks about how so many characters tried to make these personas themselves before they got out of control. Reigen wanted that greatest psychic persona, but it spiralled into something that started destroying his life. The lie took on a life of its own and he couldn't control it anymore. Dimple wanted to be a god, but psycho helmet couldn't be controlled and he couldn't erase who he was. And Mob wanted to be a new person, wanted to leave everything he was behind, but in creating that persona he created that split between himself that would spiral out of control.

Thinks about how Mobs big three relationships (Ritsu, Teru and Reigen) also forced these ideas of Mob onto him. Ritsu made him into this terrifying monster that needed to always be placated/his sweet brother who had something awful inside of him, Teru made him into a perfect figure that could do no wrong, and Reigen made him into his student who had him as his entire world and just Mob. They all had these ideas around Mob that they held him to without even realizing it. And all of them had to let go of those expectations for him to help him. Ritsu had to trust that he was wrong about his brother and that his brother acting the way he does now isn't out of character, his assumption that he hated him was out of character. Teru had to confront his flaws and admit them. And Reigen had to give him back that agency. You don't need me anymore. He's not expecting anything from him anymore. He opens the door for him if he wants to leave. No more personas between the two of them. No more just pretending to be half of themselves. They see each other fully. No more lying.

I'm very sleepy so this is weirdly written but. Yk. Also this is platonic btw. Thank u for coming to my tedtalk

[hearts4hughes]

lacy | mark estapa

( mark estapa x fem!reader )

a/n: i know i should be working on my bday celly, but this song has been stuck in my head since i first heard it. olivia so perfectly captured the feeling of insecurities within girls and others. this is sooo short and it’s devastating writing mark angst, but i had to write something for this song!

warnings: mentions of being insecure, being led on, no part two!

Lacy, oh, Lacy

Skin like puff pastry

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?

Dear angel Lacy

Eyes white as daisies

Did I ever tell you that I’m not doin' well?

the bar was loud- so loud it hurt your head. then again, maybe it was also the result of the countless drinks you’d lost track of, each one seemingly going down easier than the last.

why had you agreed to go there? why had you agreed to torture yourself?

just a week ago mark had his arm around you. he was whispering sweet nothings into your ear, giving you the impression he wanted more than to just be best friends. yet he never acted on it, never followed through. so you waited on this confusing limbo. you didn’t know what you were waiting for- perhaps for your crush on your best friend to magically disappear or for him to finally act on all those mixed signals.

now, mere days later, he had his arm around her- treating her as he had just treated you. his arm rested comfortably around her waist. their height difference made him have to lean down to whisper in her ear, just as he had done with you. and he looked at her with those unmistakable heart eyes. you wanted to believe that she had lured him in with some siren song, or maybe cast a spell on him, but you didn’t believe in magic. that’s why lacy almost didn’t seem real. she was impossibly perfect.

her long, blonde hair was tied back with delicate pink ribbons, matching with her adorable slip dress. but when you wore pink, it washed out all of your features, leaving you feeling less then feminine. with lacy, it was different. pink accentuated her plump red lips and those piercing blue eyes of hers. she embodied femininity in every way.

why couldn’t you look like that?

Smart, sexy Lacy

I'm losin’ it lately

I feel your compliments like bullеts on skin

Dazzling starlet

Bardot reincarnate

Wеll, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

you were jolted as she gracefully moved away from mark and headed in your direction. she sent you the sweetest smile, showing off her pearly white teeth. it was the kind of smile that could uplift anyone that was lucky enough to see it.

“oh my goodness, you look like an actual goddess!” she complimented, her eyes filled with sincerity and awe. there was no devilish undertone or hidden agenda in her words, so why did it feel like bullets against your skin?

you smiled in return, yet it didn’t reach your eyes. “speaking of looking like a goddess, darling, that’s you.” you replied with sincerity, even though the gnawing feeling in your stomach hinted otherwise.

“thank you so much, cutie! i channeled my inner bardot with this look.” she said, though she didn’t need to channel anyone. she was a modern-day brigitte bardot herself. “anyways, catch you later; i’m going to get drinks for mark and me.” she beamed, planted a sweet kiss on your cheek, and strutted off to the bar.

you wanted so desperately to find a flaw, to mock her in some way, but it was impossibly- she was genuinely one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, and it left you conflicted, torn between admiration and insecurity.

you couldn’t do this. you couldn’t sit here praying on the downfall of her and mark’s relationship. it was time to accept the painful truth: you were just a pawn in his game, leading him to her- his queen. your trembling fingers found their way to the heart pendant necklace around your neck, and with a determined tug, you broke the clasp. gazing at it in your palm, you remembered how mark got it for you for your one year ‘friendiversary’. what once was such a special piece of jewelry, was now a mockery of your failed relationship.

tears welled up in your eyes as you stomped over to mark. he didn’t notice you were next to him until you shoved his shoulder. he looked at you with confusion as you opened his hand, shoving the golden pendant within it.

“what’s going on?” he asked, peering down at the necklace. “why are you giving this to me?” foolish was the only word that could describe him.

“i can’t be friends with you anymore, mark. you’re tearing me apart and i don’t even think you notice it.” you confessed, tears streaming down your face. his eyes were laced with hurt. what had he done to lose his best friend?

“y/n-”

“no, don’t say anything!” you snapped, your breath hitching in your throat. “you don’t get to say anything after what you did to our friendship. you ruined it! you’re the one who ruined it.” your words were slurred, fueled by the alcohol coursing through your veins.

he didn’t respond or ask for clarification; you both knew exactly what had been done to ruin such a solid connection.

as the weight of your confession hung in the air, you turned away from who once was your world, leaving him behind with the heart pendant in his open palm. there was a whirlwind of emotions coursing through you- pain, anger, and an overwhelming sense of betrayal.

pushing through the crowd, you made your way to the exit. lacy waved you bye, clueless of what had just happened.

you stepped out of the bar into the darkness. tears clung to your lashes, but you didn’t let them fall. your phone vibrated in your pocket, but you ignored it- too nervous that you’d see mark’s contact picture staring back at you.

and you left, leaving everything you once cared about behind you; leaving that cruel chapter of your life in the darkness of the open night.

Lacy, oh, Lacy

It's like you're out to get me

You poison every little thing that I do

Lacy, oh, Lacy

I just loathe you lately

And I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you

Yeah, I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you

[thedrunkenreadersreviews]

A thought on why Alastor HATES Lucifer

*Takes a hard shot of Tequila*

So, it's been a minute. And on the eve of Hazbin Hotel's release date all those years ago in 2019 I felt an obligation to finally post my thought on this. I'm certain the title says it all. I'm certain part of this may be incorrect but I had a lot of time to think (and conduct research that was fun but also a headache) and have concluded my running thesis based on the information made available as to why exactly Alastor HATES Lucifer.

So ... *takes another shot* let us begin.

As Genesis says ...

In the Beginning:

Lucifer: Lucifer's beginning, based on the information given to us in the show, consists of him straying away from the rigid structure of the other angels in Heaven, being "a dreamer." In this universe, the concept of "God" is not explored and, based on what I'm hearing, perhaps never will be. Which, I'm fine with. I think the angels serving as the runners of Heaven works well, especially with the story Viv is trying to tell. Anyway, Lucifer ends up falling in love and marrying Lilith, who, much like him, refuses to bend to the will of the angels which, in this case, kept evil out of the universe. Those two get together, and offer up the apple of knowledge to Eve, which unleashes Sin or the Root of all Evil, or---now, let's be honest here---Roo (but more on her later). Because of this action, Roo flourishes, corrupting the entire existence of earth. Being forced to have this shoved into his face as punishment, Lucifer is cast into Hell and falls into a deep depression even before his separation from Lilith. He is more than just a neglectful parent; he is a neglectful ruler as well. Hell is a free-for-all; overlords, turf wars, exterminations that Lucifer signed off on, etc. Now, I love Viv's imagining of Lucifer as a character, and I think this allows a lot of potential for him especially given all of these flaws. So, there's that.

Now, let's look at Alastor's beginning.

*Takes a shot and steadying breath*

Alastor is a bit more complicated because we don't have the full story yet but we do have bits and pieces so let's try to put some of these together to analyze his psyche.

Now, throughout "Hell's Greatest Dad," yes, one hundred percent he is doing that to get under Lucifer's skin and yes, he doesn't like the fact that he is no longer the most powerful/influential person in the room and this is kind of his low blows at that.

But then ... where does he get the bravado to do that? Why would he be so confident that Lucifer would do essentially nothing? Yes, Charlie is there, but we're talking about the King of Hell. Viv mentioned that the hierarchy is kind of there in name alone ... but how did it get to that point?

Lucifer's neglect of the realm itself.

Now, examine Alastor, who is obsessed with control. He is smiling all the time to maintain a sense of control. He is frustrated when Lucifer is present because it hinders the control he has on the patrons of the hotel. He is enraged when Husk calls into question Alastor's control by mentioning his leash, as well as a few other examples scattered about. Right away, you have a demon who yearns for control and a demon who really couldn't care less about it with the former being lower on the Hellish hierarchy than the latter.

*Takes another shot because I know I'm starting to look like Charlie from It's Always Sunny with his mailroom red yearn map and deranged expression*

This is where we start getting into speculation using what information we have on his backstory to get a clue of Alastor's character.

When he was alive, Alastor was a serial killer but Viv said he was more of a "Dexter" type serial killer. If you haven't watched or read the Dexter series, Dexter is indeed a serial killer but he only kills those that have killed others. Think of a Batman that won't send these criminals to Arkham but to the morgue. I believe even Dexter thought of himself as "taking out the trash." So Alastor was only killing people he believed deserved to be killed; the worst of the worst. Looking at the comic, which is still cannon, Alastor has a soft spot for "those of fairer means" and is protective of people who may not be able to protect themselves.

*Takes another shot*

This might just add a little sprinkle into Alastor's mindset of "protection" but I'll mention it anyway. Stay with me! *Stands unsteadily like a drunk dad explaining the rules of a football game or something* Alastor grew up in 1920s/30s Louisiana. Now if my history classes have taught me anything about 1920/30s Louisiana is that it SUCKED for people of color, especially for black Americans. Alastor (What? Yes, I know the cannon changed, but we can still work with this.) is of mixed race, however, he could have been white passing as Viv also said that Alastor was living his best life as a radio broadcaster and well just look at the art for human Alastor. He is also quoted as being a Mama's boy and I'm leaning on assuming it was his mother's side that contained his black ethnicity.

My speculation---again, my speculation---is that his father was abusive; perhaps towards both him and his mother. I am also speculating that growing up in the 1920s/30s American South, he saw the police brutality, he saw the injustice, he saw people in power fail to protect the ones that they were supposed to, leading him to "take out the trash."

*Takes another shot, grips the table*

And now ... he's in Hell, in which the person with the MOST power, who could have all the control, is failing to maintain order and protect those that need his protection spectacularly.

*Takes another shot, climbs onto the table*

On TOP of that! Alastor could blame Lucifer for everything he saw/endured when he was alive because it was Lucifer's actions that allowed Roo to exist and for evil to corrupt the world.

So not only does Lucifer not get Hell under control, leading Alastor to clean up the mess that is Hell, but he is also the reason that evil exists (as far as we know) and he chooses to do absolutely nothing!

*Plops into chair, takes shot, slams glass onto table, points unsteady finger at you, blinks like a frog*

And that (hiccup) dear reader, is why I think Alastor hates Lucifer: because he is the reason for all the evil that Alastor had to put up with and has all the power to distribute justice but chooses not to do it; a repeat of Alastor's life when he was alive.

*Smiles stupidly*

They are such perfect foils for each other and if Viv said "they will have enemies to lovers" type arch and even those involved in the production teasing 'a match made in Hell' I think this is strictly platonic and that they are hinting that these two are going to end up having the most fantastic, most interesting, most heartwrenching, most fucking awesome enemies to ride-or-die homies relationship in existence. At least (hiccup) I hope so!

Cheers.

*Passes out*

[markantonys]

i'm thinking about nynaeve's line to egwene in the testing vision about how egwene will be a better "servant of all" than nynaeve ever could be. i love that moment so much! because it plays into one of my very favorite Themes from the books: the difference between heroes who focus on the greater good, sometimes at the expense of individuals (egwene, rand, moiraine, elayne) and heroes who focus on individuals, sometimes at the expense of the greater good (nynaeve, perrin, mat). and neither is inherently better or worse than the other, it's just two different ways of looking at the world! for each character, we see moments where their outlook is a strength as well as moments where it's a weakness/flaw.

i saw someone say that nynaeve undersells herself in that line because throughout the show we've seen HER be a servant of all. and that's very true............IF we define "all" as "the two rivers." nynaeve would die & kill for Her People, and for any other individuals she comes across who need her help, but she doesn't care so much about broader causes or ideals. her arc is really unique because it's an inverse leadership arc, i.e. she starts off in a leadership position but then as the story progresses, she realizes that she is not suited to leadership on the huge scale that's needed for the last battle and steps aside to let people like egwene and rand, who ARE suited to it, take up that leadership.

(if you will allow me a bit of #gawynposting, gawyn actually has a very similar arc in this respect: he starts off expecting to become first prince of the sword, but then when he gets his first real taste of large-scale leadership as the leader of the younglings, he's miserable. he doesn't care about the younglings' cause, he just wants to protect his specific loved ones, elayne & egwene, because at heart he is an Individuals Guy, not a Big Picture Guy. and so in the end he rejects his role as first prince and dedicates himself to protecting one specific person, egwene, as her warder. but the tragedy of his character is that even after all this he still can't shake the My Duty Is To The Big Picture conditioning that's been drilled into him since childhood, and thus focusing exclusively on protecting one single person during the last battle makes him feel selfish & guilty about "wasting" his fighting abilities and he decides it's his duty to sacrifice himself for the greater good. sob!)

anyway, i love this line because it's not true and also it's true. nynaeve IS a selfless servant of all, but egwene will be a better servant of all-all than nynaeve could be. because egwene is more able to set aside her personal feelings to focus objectively on what's best for the greatest number of people, whereas nynaeve just can't stomach the ruthless calculus of war (which, again, is not a knock on either character, they're simply different kinds of people and BOTH kinds are needed to win the last battle). and that's why it could only ever be egwene who got the amyrlin arc, even though you might initially expect it to go to nynaeve due to the setup of her being the most powerful aes sedai of the age.

[zaccariacombat]

World War II is the most personally fascinating period in all of history for me. Nothing intrigues me like it does. I do have World War II buff tendencies at heart, but I tend to keep it under wraps most of the time. While that is considered a stereotypically straight male interest, it is not exclusively so by any means.

Why do I bring up sexuality? Well, I immediately gravitate towards any book that features a gay male relationship in the time of World War II, particularly between military men, because it satisfies two of my deep interests at once. Two of my favorite novels are Look Down in Mercy by Walter Baxter and Wingmen by Ensan Case. To me, these both exemplify the kind of book I want to read, but they execute them in different ways; Look Down in Mercy is much more literary in style compared to the midcentury popular war fiction style of Wingmen. Nevertheless, these books reach something deep in me that almost no other book I have ever read featuring gay men and World War II ever has before, and I think I figured out why: the vast majority of modern fiction involving a gay relationship in World War II falls into the category of traditional M/M romance fiction, and I prefer a gay male relationship in World War II that is not bound by the conventions of romance fiction, as well as has engaging historical details beyond set dressing.

I will be clear that I don't look down on romance fiction at all. It simply is usually not for me. I have given romance novels a good shot because I was looking for more gay World War II content to satisfy this niche interest of mine. A lot of them I even enjoyed, but it was almost always at a rather surface level. They didn't stick with me like Wingmen or Look Down in Mercy, with one exception, which I will get into later. At fist, I wondered why. I have since realized that pure, traditional romance novels are not for me because there is a fundamental mismatch between how I enjoy relationships in fiction and the inherent structure of a romance novel: I don't like a guaranteed happily ever after or happy for now ending. I want there to be at least some doubt that the ending will be positive, so if it is happy, it feels much more valuable. I can really enjoy an unhappy ending if it tells a compelling story, and the lack of that possibility makes the HEA or HFN endings in a romance novel feel so cheap to me. I understand that the reassurance of a positive ending is a driver for many people's interest in romance, so I know this is just a personal thing.

There is one book that falls into the M/M romance umbrella that did resonate with me, though, that did stick with me. That is this very obscure, Kindle-only book called Box 1663 by Alex Sorel. It involves an army photographer falling in love with a scientist at Los Alamos. What made it work for me, despite it being marketed as a romance novel, is that it didn't feel like one. Instead, it was a historical thriller, involving some of the greatest secrets of the war, that also involved a gay romance. It is not marketed as such at all, however. It also involved all these historical details around Los Alamos that made me really excited.

I think another flaw common in gay romance fiction taking place in World War II is that the setting feels like a total backdrop to the gay romance. I'm a World War II buff! I want to enjoy the setting, too! Reading about all the planes in Wingmen is so exciting to me. Look Down in Mercy has extremely vivid descriptions of the war that could range from beautiful to absolutely disgusting. Honestly, I like the scene descriptions as much as the actual plot in that book. That's how good they are. Box 1663 lets the reader know all about the Los Alamos laboratory and the dry landscapes of New Mexico. It was not just set dressing. The laboratory actually meant something; it was related to the thriller plot.

The thriller plot and historical details kept me so engaged in Box 1663, despite it being marketed as M/M romance and thus being guaranteed to not have a doomed relationship. This is what keeps me from totally avoiding all modern M/M romance during World War II. I can look past the guaranteed positive ending if I could end up with another Box 1663. It hasn't happened, but I don't want my enjoyment of this particular niche to be totally stuck in the 20th century. I want to give modern works a shot, too.

It feels so hard for me to find the kind of book I want to read that I started writing one myself. Back in 2020, I started writing a novel surrounding an American bomber crew in World War II. Two of the guys in the crew do end up falling in love. I think I will go back to it eventually and rewrite much of it. My writing has improved since then and I see where I wrote myself into a corner.

Basically, it feels so hard for me to find the kind of book that perfectly engages two separate interests like this. The World War II fiction authors generally don't care all that much about gay relationships, and the authors who want to write gay relationships are generally not especially fascinated by World War II. The kind of book I want to read is in an absolutely minuscule niche. I hope I can find more, but for now, at least it has motivated me to start writing my own novel.

If you have any recommendations, let me know! Please don't recommend The Charioteer, though. I already know about it, I tried reading it, and it didn't work for me at the time. I keep meaning to go back to it, though. But, if you have any other books that I may like, I would love to hear about them. This niche is so small that I probably already know about it, but possibly not!

[franki-lew-yo]

An 'A-ha!' fandom moment, ft. The Owl House

These comments I screencapped from a user I watch elsewhere really hit like a brick in the face to me. I'm blotting out OP's name, mostly cuz this was just a shower thought they had rather than any meaningful open discussion with people, but it ended up making me realize something (also NO they're not some contrarian AntiSJW type or even hate TOH; they're a very gay+trans writer themselves. Sorry if youknowwhoyouare sees this and recognizes ur posts but you don't allow reblogs or comments and I wanted to present it on my own):

The Owl House was always hampered by being killed halfway through, writing wise and that will always be it's greatest 'sin'. However, OP's comment made me realize how much the show kind of tells you it's characters are flawed rather than actually give them arcs to suggest it, especially in season 1. When I say flawed I don't mean lacking quirks that are relatable but human: Eda is a recluse criminal; King thought he could kill people and acted like it; Luz is a genki girl; Amity starts off as a bully; Hunter...is unfortunately Hunter, ect. Those ARE flaws, character wise, but in the presence of the complete story (as complete as the show will ever be) they really aren't actually flawed, bad people in anyway.

Before I go further, two things: 1, IN ALL FAIRNESS, this is why myself and others particularly LOVE the characters and why TOH was a comfort show for me rather than a 'high-tension narrative'. The characters are a lot of what you want and hope to be like and I think that's really sweet and enjoyable, especially for horror and especially for kids.

2, NO! I DON'T think any particular bad faith cartoon reviewer opinions about coddling certain characters and punishing others IS WHAT DANA and co did at all here! Steven Universe and certain crap-reviewer's takes ON Steven Universe and how it's characters were flawed but overly forgiven by the fandom the show itself are NOT the b-all end-all of this discussion, nor are they the reason The Owl House is the way it is!

The context op was talking about was how in the upcoming hate crime The Last Airbender live-action show the showrunners are going to tone down Sokka's sexism because they think it's 'unlikable'. Even though, we all knew as children that this was an arc for him and it was WRONG, so axing it because we the audience lack nuance to recognize characters we love doing problamtic-sisms is BEYOND annoying.

Op's point is how The Owl House in particular doesn't actually expect much or want much out of it's characters. Or audience. For any infighting early on about how much Amity should 'die' because of reasons, that's really just fandom infighting when you get right down to it. There's nothing on par with the disagreement people have over, say, the Diamonds from Steven Universe and how Steven 'totally forgave them or 'should have murdered them in cold blood' about The Owl House. And like...from a fandom point of view that's good, but otherwise the show is pretty concrete the way you're supposed to see certain characters vs other shows which allow you to make up your own mind.

Avatar, Star vs the Forces of Evil (pre finale), Centaurworld and Amphibia all showcase your protagonists being genuinely, intensely flawed. Sure, maybe some neckbreather crap-pseudocritic complains that they 'made the unlikable' or whatever (i.e. me with Friendship is Magic) but overall the actual point is HOW the characters actually have grown and have ended up with the ending and morality they need. The villains, no not Zukos or 'redeemed' villains who joined the protagonist squad, VILLAIN-villains, will always be at least one serious step behind the protagonists and that's what give the protagonists the cautionary wherewithal to end them like they should and not 'be like them'. It's such a fufilling narrative, there's a reason people like it so much because it's really good when it's delivered well.

Removed from my fandom gaze; the Owl House feels like it's saying it has that ultimate messaging and character arc when it actually doesn't. Your protagonists have the endearing aspirational-part totally covered, but as far as the actual 'edge' and nuance? Well...

Eda is, at most, naughty. She really isn't any kind of morally sidetracked character. She's an outlaw because literally her society is awful to her and she's in the right to be against it. She's cursed but she's not addicted to her potions or hiding it or not really taking care of herself or her loved ones because of it. Her actual biggest flaw is that she's been 'running away' from problems rather than dealing with them, but I'd be lying if that wasn't suggested more than it's actually portrayed; or at least, dealt with fast enough in "Eda's Requiem". A bigger issue I see, even if it's what's also endearing about her, is that she REALLY isn't a flawed caregiver at all. It's portrayed as her most redeeming feature that she's otherwise a good mom and mentor, but Eda having virtually no problems in raising Luz and King just, again, makes her feel ONLY aspirational. All of the angst about 'failing' to parent and making up for it is moved all onto Camilla and sadly all of that angst for her is mostly within an already bloated episode. Eda, while an absolute mood, lacks any real kind of edge. Does she need it or not? I don't know. Discuss, kids.

Luz, like OP says, is treated like this high-energy super-optimist. She's like Star Butterfly in that her fangirlism and impulsivness are supposed to get her in trouble. But, she absolutely just isn't one when you break it down. Besides episode 2, Luz really is never that inconsiderate or lost in her fantasies ever again throughout the show. She never has anything like what Steven goes through where he hops into Larz' body and makes things worse for people by trying to fix things- which is not only good filler but it calls forward to the ultimate ending of Steven's arc for the series - Luz is just sort of adorable. Luz has blindsided by hype moments of weakness, like when she accidentally hurts Owlbert or messes with Amity's secret room, but still always level headed and down-to-earth. Her impulses are always kind of treated like...excusable? Because, again, they usually are. This is a large part about what makes her self-hatred at the end of the show about accidentally helping Belos' feel 'forced'. Even MOREso than what Hunter and Daddy Titan explain about Belos using her, we the audience never see Luz's choice to go back in time and try and get answers from Philip as being anything other than just, you know, logical. Because it is. The show acts like what Luz did was reckless and bad and that she was SOOO overtaken by her fangirlism about Philip and now just how much she has to live with the guilt and regret of helping being duped by him...it just doesn't come off that way at all. She was only so much excited about meeting him and her interest was getting home to her mother. In terms of comparing her to Philip, that's all fine and good, but again it's not 'flawed'. Not really, anyway.

Lilith absolutely has it the worst...but I kinda think people know that. She arguably does have the most morally-gray turning point in the show given what she did to her own sister. But neither the characters nor her nor the show really hold her accountable in any lasting way for cursing Eda. Lilith is the closest we get to that 'Diamond'-dilemma. She does 'make things right way too quickly and it's obvious to even her biggest fans that her character is really rushed in this area. They lampshade what Lilith did and that she was their villain in season 2 and 2B, but lampshading isn't the same thing as progress. As a result, as a Lilith fan you kind of never really forgive her for what she did. None of that's her fault, cause' you know...she doesn't exist, but it makes it frustrating that you the fan watching the show is doing the heavy-lifting in your mind in this area.What you come away from is this feeling of loving the characters for being able to work everything out. They're engaging and nuanced in theory, but you also feel robbed, w or w/o the Disney interference, of them being fully rounded or WHOLE. It kinda feels like 'and suddenly, he wasn't racist, anymore' all the time with every character ever with except Amity's mom, the Titan Trappers and Belos.

The reason everyone dunks on Star vs the Forces of Evil's finale, (besides being salty over ship wars and declaring THAT'S the reason for the drop in quality) is that 'Cleaved' could have not only worked but REALLY worked. It just needed to be better written and processed as an ending. Instead people reviled Star, the protagonist we're supposed to be rooting for, for what feels like impulsive apathy and cruelty towards everyone else by destroying magic, as opposed to it being an actually selfless sacrifice that makes her different than Toffee. Ultimatley, I do prefer The Owl House, unfinished as it is, to any of that. But yeah... I can now never unsee the characters as being what they are: fun but indulgent when they're supposedly complex. Indulgent is never bad u guys, but the problem is when you only have that to go on while insisting you have fully developed characters, there's a lot of the show telling you how to feel and how to come away from it rather than letting you, the audience, make of that yourself. As annoying as fan-wars can be over this stuff and when people are either WAAAY to forgiving of their villain blorbo or form hate-campaigns over Glub Shitto for ruining their life, it is ultimately a good thing that shows give you that chance to really see the characters that way at all.

The Owl House is, as OP calls it, "tumblr feels" not for being gay and magical and fun and wholesome and indulgent like that stuff is GREAT. It feels 'tumblr oriented' in that it all kind of feels too easy even when it's not for your protagonists. It's never actually "challenging". I guess, in as far as 'good' indulgence is concerned, it's as warm and fuzzy and a happy AU fanfic you found but not so much the Pacifist Ending of Undertale where you really do feel bad if you rectify the good ending in anyway. It's fun and it's comfort food, but not entirely lasting as you want it to be???

Amphibia, I think, was also way better than Owl House in this respect. It wasn't perfect cause nothing is but you really got a feeling for HOW flawed Marcy, Sasha, the townsfolk and even Hop Pop throughout their arcs-- which made it so SO rewarding to see them get their happy endings and come together to defeat the core and be the better people they needed to become.

The Owl House is my favorite where I think Amphibia is the better of the two.

[beccawise7]

In a lot of your posts you praise strong women but have a not so subtle underlying show of submission and the D/s lifestyle on your page. Don't you think saying strong women are beautiful and then boasting about submission is hypocritical?

How can you be a "strong woman" and think submission is beautiful? I guess I see it as women and weak when they willingly turn over their bodies, minds, and lives to a narcissistic dom who is selfish and just wants his needs met. At least that's been my experience and why I left the lifestyle it was too dark for me I love your page, but I think it's wrong to say strong women should submit to weak men.

Hello, Anon.

Thank you for writing to me with this Ask and being respectful in your questions.

The words you chose to share and the emotion strewn within them tell me this is something you feel very deeply about, and I want to honor that with respect in my response. So, my apologies for the length of this.

First, I'm so sorry that you found the d/s lifestyle "too dark" for you, and you experienced a Dom who was "narcissistic and selfish," as you stated.

-It pains me to hear this, as I fully understand your experience and know how utterly heartbreaking it can be. That being said, please remember that every lifestyle, including d/s, is full of flawed human beings. Some good, kind & responsible.  Some evil, cruel and irresponsible.  This is true of every relationship. Gf/Bf, husband/wife, partners/lovers...on and on. There are good and bad humans everywhere and it has always been my hope we try to weed out the bad and build a circle for ourselves that is full of good people, regardless of our lifestyle choices. I would encourage you not to judge an entire lifestyle off one or two bad experiences.  I promise you, I've been where you are and not everyone is what you've experienced. 

-I do not believe that being a strong woman and promoting or enjoying a d/s lifestyle is hypocritical at all. If I may, I enjoy a beautiful life full of professional excellence, extreme athletic achievements, amazing friends, powerful positions, passionate work, travel and phenomenal experiences. I am what society may deem as a "strong woman."

-However, when I CHOOSE to trust a Dom with the gift of my submission, it is one of the most powerful things I've ever done in my life. Not only is it powerful but it also brings a beautiful peace for me. It permits me to experience, explore, trust and learn deeper and less accepted parts of me that the intrinsic world simply does not allow for.

-In the modern world, we often find that strength is measured in brute force by what we can attain and keep. However, for myself, I've learned that my greatest strength is allowing myself to trust one enough to give away everything that holds me back from exploring the entirety of who I am. SUBMISSION is that for me. I'm the strongest and most bold I've ever been when an authentic d/s relationship is present.

-In my opinion, a true Dom doesn't demand submission, but earns it. By showing you time and time again who they truly are. How valuable you are to them and is open, honest and patient when you struggle.

-On the other hand, many subs just want to be coddled and taken care of without understanding the true beauty of the dynamic and how important their Sir is in their world.

-I also have never told a strong woman she needs to submit. Submission is quite an intimate and personal decision. It is ones choice, certainly not something a random person on the internet should be direction for people.

-Take time to learn yourself and anyone you may want to one day enter into a d/s relationship with again. I promise-there are amazing Doms, but I understand needing to step away and refocus.

-I'm always learning and trying to grow. I have struggles myself that are rooted in deep pain. The key is finding the one who allows you to share those and doesn't punish you when it's difficult, but is patient and helps you grow through opening up about them.

-All these things are just my thoughts. Many have others, I am certain. If d/s is something you did really want and still do-I hope you heal and don't allow one bad experience to ruin something that could be so beautiful for you. Feel free to message me if you need to talk more or explore questions or thoughts deeper.

Hugs and healing to you. Always.~beccawise7 💜🖤

[anneapocalypse]

Why Anders and Fenris can't be friends (in the game)

Recently I made a short post that was supposed to stay that way, but instead it took over my brain for several days so I'm going to expand on it. In that post, I said:

"Why can't Fenris and Anders get along? Why can't they see what they have in common?" Because it's a story about how people can be practically and philosophically correct about a specific thing, and also get so mired in their own pain and trauma that they can't relate to people whose pain and trauma comes from a different source and who are right about something else, especially if trying to reconcile those two things would threaten their sense of self. And that is, imo, both more interesting and more true to the human experience than if they simply looked past all that without any difficulty.

So, with that as our starting point, why don't Anders and Fenris find common ground by the end of the game? Wouldn't that be a strong character arc for both of them, and aren't both characters lesser for not getting there? Is this an oversight, rushed development, bad writing?

I think the answer to these questions lies in the journeys that Anders and Fenris are each on over the course of the game, and in this post I'm going to explore both of their arcs a bit, where they’re both going and why their paths are divergent in the game. Specifically I mean to argue here that they cannot find common ground during the game because Fenris spends the game finding safety, while Anders spends the game becoming progressively less safe.

Disclaimer time! This post is not meant as a refutation of anyone’s ships or headcanons! You do you. What I hope to explore here is why things go the way they do in the game itself.

I’m also aware that this game has been out for over a decade, that there is nothing new under the sun, that both of these characters provoke strong feelings in a lot of us, and that some fans are just tired of hearing about them in general. If the latter is you, please feel free to scroll right on by; no need to inform me.

This analysis will necessarily involve discussing both characters’ flaws as well as their strengths (as well as those of some other characters), but it’s coming from a place of love and appreciation for these characters as complex and multi-faceted. Please refrain from expressing character hate on this post.

Content warnings: discussion of slavery, the Chantry explosion, abuse and trauma generally.

Anders' Journey

It has been said that Anders' character arc in DA2 is a downward spiral while Fenris is on a slow road to recovery. And I basically agree with that, but I don't think of it as a downward spiral in terms of negative character growth, precisely. While I do think there are ways in which Anders becomes less able and willing to empathize with others over the course of the game, I consider that more of a side effect of what's happening to him than a sign of him being on some kind of moral downturn.

To me, the downward spiral is that Anders spends the entire game losing hope.

As an apostate in Kirkwall (and a possessed one at that), I think it is important to recognize that Anders is never truly safe. It seems likely to me that the only reason he remains free for so long is because he happens to befriend some very powerful and influential people in Kirkwall—most notably, Varric Tethras, who is known to pay people off to keep his friends safe from the city's various criminal organizations, and I don't think it's unlikely that he's payed off templars as well.

Even in his closest circle of friends, Anders isn't completely safe. And it isn't Fenris who poses the greatest danger to him! The one character who actively suggests they turn in Anders (and Merrill) to the templars is Sebastian in Act III—and it's Fenris who brushes him off, telling him to "work it out with Hawke." I don't think Fenris would lose any sleep if it happened, but he actively declines to be a part of it. While Fenris is not above turning in mages generally (he will rat out Emile de Launcet to the Knight-Commander if brought along for “On the Loose”), there's no evidence that Fenris has ever made an active attempt to turn Hawke's mage companions over to the templars; if nothing else, he has too much respect for Hawke.

There's another companion who we know has turned mages in. Aveline and Anders get off to a pretty sour start right in Act I when Aveline asks if she can "consult" with him, and Anders guesses (rightly, it seems) that she just wants information on how to fight and kill mages. Needless to say, he is not forthcoming with help. Their Act II banter begins with Anders pointing out that she isn't a particularly mage-friendly Captain of the Guard, where Aveline counters that she’s only turned “a handful” over to the templars. Between Act II and Act III, there is a mounting tension between the two of them, with Anders in the final act doing his best to nudge Aveline away from defending the templars. Not even ideologically—he knows that's a losing battle with Aveline—but by bringing up Meredith's overreach and the fact that even Donnic doesn't agree with the Knight-Commander. When explaining to Hawke why he hasn't included them in the Mage Underground, Anders cites Hawke's connections to the nobility and to the Guard. It's no mystery who he's talking about.

There are people among Hawke's companions who pose an actual danger to Anders—and Fenris is not at the top of that list, no matter how much they may despise each other. And I think Anders' interactions with Fenris are especially vitriolic, not in spite of that fact, but because of it. I'd say similar of Merrill, the other companion Anders arguably has the most acrimony with. Neither Fenris nor Merrill poses any true threat to Anders. They are both elves who do not benefit from drawing attention to themselves; Merrill is a blood mage and Fenris an escaped former slave. While both of them hold views that make them philosophically or potentially dangerous, neither has ever actually acted against Anders.

Now, Anders does argue with Aveline and Sebastian. Repeatedly. He's not shy about stating his opinions and questioning theirs. But notice how the way he argues differs with each character. With Aveline, he appeals to her sense of order and propriety. With Sebastian, he appeals to his sense of righteousness. We see this particularly in Act III, once things have gotten especially dire. And he does start out similarly with Fenris, trying to draw a comparison between mages in the Circles and slaves in Tevinter—a tactic which utterly fails to move Fenris, and Anders drops it pretty quickly.

I think Anders' dialogue with Fenris gets especially nasty a) because Fenris is a rival against whom Anders can afford to vent his anger with less restraint, and b) because Fenris's existence makes Anders feel threatened in an entirely different way than Aveline and Sebastian. Anders knows that the Captain of the Guard and the noble-turned-Chantry-brother are not on his side, and it is in his best interest to be persuasive toward them, but also philosophically they're opposed to him in a way that he finds easy to refute. He is very firm in his convictions that the Circles are unjust and that they are a corruption of what Andraste taught and fought for. He may have little chance of actually persuading Aveline and Sebastian, but he's also in no danger of being persuaded by them. In other words, they may threaten his physical safety and that of other mages, but they do not challenge his core beliefs, his sense of self.

But Fenris does.

Anders has spent most of his life locked up for being a mage, running away and being caught, and subject to profound abuses. Since his final escape and joining with Justice, he has found purpose and hope in fighting for the cause of mage freedom. If his cause is just, then it is worth living for and fighting for, what he has lost he can endure, and what he’s had to do for that cause is justified. If he admits to himself that magic is itself a power that can be abused, that magic has anything to do with the atrocities Tevinter, that calls his purpose into question. If the unchecked use of magic has the potential to create a society just as unjust as the one he knows, that unravels his present idea of justice, which is quite literally part of his identity!

And maybe if this were a different story, Anders' arc would be about confronting those challenges and deciding how to move forward with them. But this isn't that story, because this is a story set in Kirkwall, where the templars' abuses of power over mages are happening right now, right in front of him, and every effort he makes to change that is systematically crushed.

This is really critical to Anders' arc! He is not a character who has spent the whole game achieving his goals and then escalating those goals. Almost everything he has tried to do has failed. And it's really not due to any strategic failing on his part; the Circle is just too powerful. His attempt to save Karl introduces this theme right at the beginning. Anders does his best; he does everything he can. But he is up against forces he cannot stop. Karl is doomed by the narrative so that we can understand what Anders is facing.

And it does not get any better! There's another tumblr post out there about how every companion quest for Anders is basically you go to see how he's doing, and he's doing bad. And it's true! Because things just keep getting worse. His Act II quest "Dissent" gives us a firsthand glimpse of the abuses taking place inside the Circle. "Dissent" is sometimes read as an example of Anders' paranoia, because both the Knight-Commander and the Grand Cleric had rejected Ser Alrik's plan to make all mages tranquil. I don't fully agree with that reading. Anders knows that such a proposal has been drawn up, and he is absolutely correct about that. He just doesn't know it’s been rejected, and frankly from where he’s standing, he has every reason to worry it might not be. Furthermore, Anders tells Hawke that there are templars within the Circle, most notoriously Ser Alrik, who are misusing the Rite of Tranquility even by Circle standards and who enjoy torturing and abusing mages—and then we see exactly that firsthand with Alrik and Ella, so Anders was entirely correct in that case.

By Act III, the Mage Underground has been completely dismantled, the Knight-Commander has openly seized control of Kirkwall, and half of Anders' own social group will still barely admit there's a problem. His ambient dialogue as early as the end of Act II is "I can't go on like this." It's hard not to feel the sheer despair radiating off Anders by the third Act.

His attack on the Chantry is not something he was always planning and working toward. It's a last resort he undertakes because every other avenue has failed. In seven years, he has helped to free individual mages, but he has made no progress toward dismantling or frankly even improving the Circle as a whole; in fact, it's only gotten worse. Now the lives of every mage in the Circle are threatened as Meredith seeks the Right of Annulment for little more than suspicions of blood magic. Individual rescues are not a solution. His written appeals to the public have had little practical effect. If he wants to save Kirkwall's mages, he has very few options left.

And if you listen to the way Anders speaks—if you look at his face after the explosion as he waits for Hawke's response—he is not happy about this. He is not dancing on the ashes. In fact, he looks heartbroken. There is collateral damage from the Chantry explosion and Anders knows there will be and he does not take that lightly. This is foreshadowed very well in a piece of banter with Isabela:

Anders: There is justice in the world. Isabela: Is there? You want to free the mages. Let's say you do, but to get there, you kill a bunch of innocent people. Isabela: What about them? Don't they then deserve justice? Anders: Yes.

Anders accepts this justice. He leaves Hawke out of his plans regardless of whether Hawke would have supported him because he means to accept the consequences for himself. He accepts whatever sentence he is given without resistance.

Regardless of how you feel about Anders' attack on the Chantry (and I'd prefer not to fight with anyone about that here), I recount all of this to make the point that his arc in the game is a long slide into despair and desperation, and for what I think are very understandable reasons. And over these seven years, it's pretty clear that Anders feels increasingly alone in his efforts. He feels like everyone is against him. There are things he feels he cannot tell even Hawke, no matter how supportive Hawke may be, because of Hawke's connections.

These are basically the worst possible conditions for a person to be able to extend patience and empathy to someone of very different experience with whom they are ideologically at odds.

Anders straight up doesn't have any energy, or emotional bandwidth, or whatever you want to call it, left for that. When he says, "I am the cause of mages. There is nothing else inside me," he means it. He is drained—emotionally, spiritually, probably physically, in all possible ways. He is particularly caustic in the back half of the game, and at times says some truly mean and petty things to and about other characters and I will not defend those things, but it is so understandable to me why he gets like this, stretched absolutely to the breaking point and ready to snap.

Anders' journey in Dragon Age II is a tragedy. Depending on the choices Hawke makes, it may not be the end of his story; there is still the possibility that he lives to see a changing world in which he himself can begin, after all these years, to breathe easier, to heal. I think that's going to be a long process, but it is absolutely possible.

Within the timeframe of the game itself, I don't think it is possible for Anders to go on the journey he's on and also figure out how to get along with Fenris. In fact I think those two things are antithetical to each other. Post-game, the world is wide with possibility. But not in the game itself. "Learn how to play well with others" (especially others who are diametrically opposed to everything he believes in) is so emphatically not the story being told with Anders in this game, and the entire climax of the game is built on top of the story it's been telling us with Anders. Because of that, I cannot see "Anders and Fenris become friends" as what could have been or what should have been. It's not just an add-on in this case; it's a change that rewrites the whole story.

Fenris's Journey

Upon arriving in Kirkwall, Fenris's history does at first glance share a lot of commonalities with Anders: he is an escapee who's managed to evade his captors for a few years now, and in Kirkwall he finds reason to settle down, though he is not out of danger yet.

But their paths start to diverge pretty much immediately.

First, let's just acknowledge that Kirkwall is, objectively, a safer city for Fenris than it is for Anders. That's not to say it is truly safe; Danarius is still hunting for Fenris and has connections in Kirkwall, and no human city is particularly safe for elves. Fenris finds himself pursued at some point in every act, culminating with Danarius himself in Act III.

Fenris is, however, much more able to defend himself against hired mobs of slavers operating illegally in the south than a lone apostate is able to defend him against an army of templars who have the backing of the city guard should they decide to actually come for him. Fenris's pursuers do not rule Kirkwall, and they don't have the guard on their side; they do not have a base of operations just a short boat ride away, and they are not sending troops to daily patrol the streets and look for a person of his description.

Had Fenris stayed in Tevinter, that would be exactly his situation, and if Anders had fled north, the templars tracking him would likely have faced more difficulty apprehending him. But this story doesn't take place in Tevinter, it takes place in Kirkwall, and Fenris has some advantage here just by nature of have escaped to the south.

Is Fenris truly safe in Kirkwall? No, and that's the setup for his whole character arc. The critical difference is that Fenris's arc is toward finding safety, while Anders' is not.

Let us note also that there is no one in Hawke's immediate friend group actively threatening to sell Fenris back into slavery. The Captain of the Guard, while she needles him about squatting in Hightown, also does not take the side of slavers. Even the pirate is against the trafficking of people. The only one in that group who has the potential to do such a thing to Fenris is Hawke, and only if Hawke decides to recruit Fenris, pretend to be his friend for seven years (even rivalries are still fundamentally friendships, just more challenging and complicated ones), before selling him out for, at most, a sum that should frankly be an insult to Hawke at that point in their career.

Hawke’s mage companions feel like threats to Fenris, yes, because his life experience has led him to conclude that no mage is truly safe. Anders and Merrill in particular represent the additional dangers of abominations and blood mages, respectively. But Anders’ core convictions pose a particular challenge not only to Fenris’ worldview, but to the very sense of safety he has only just begun to have.

Fenris spent most of his life enslaved and subjected to profound abuses. Since his escape to the south, he has found a sense of safety in the black-and-white concept that mages are dangerous and only non-mages can be trusted. If this is true, it means that in a world where mages are locked up, he can be safe. If what happened to him is, even in a broad sense, not unique to a land ruled by mages, then it could happen anywhere. (And unfortunately, that’s true. The slave trade is alive and well in the south, illegal though it may be, as we see in our many encounters with slavers.) If he admits to himself that many mages are just like him–subject to profound abuse and deserving of freedom—that sense of safety he is building for himself as a free man in the south is shattered. While he is still on the run, actively evading capture, this is not a possibility he is emotionally able to entertain.

It may be said that Fenris’s arc is about learning to let go of his anger; I disagree with that reading, or at least I think it is a very incomplete one. For one thing, it misses the very important point that the person his anger is for is still alive and actively pursuing him for most of the game. It’s easy to take Flemeth’s remark to Fenris, “The chains are broken, but are are you truly free?” as like, a philosophical statement, but no! He literally is not truly free so long as he still has to live as a fugitive, always looking over his shoulder, always waiting for the inevitable. He tells this to Hawke right in Act I: he will never truly be free until Danarius is dead, and if Danarius doesn’t show up eventually, Fenris will go hunt him down himself.

He is angry about this. He carries a deep rage not only for what has been done to him, what has been stolen from him, but also that even now Danarius is still taking from him and fucking up his life. Listen to the fury with which he says, “I was a fool to think I was free,” during “A Bitter Pill” in Act II.

And he needs that anger. Right now, that anger is still protecting him. It gives him the courage, as he says, to “turn and face the tiger.” His hatred of Hadriana compels him to seek her out and kill her rather than running again. And killing Hadriana is absolutely the right decision! There is nothing to be gained from leaving her alive, she certainly doesn’t deserve his mercy, and taking her out of the picture eliminates one more tool Danarius can use against him.

Where this scene shows Fenris’s need for growth is when he then lashes out at Hawke, regardless of their response. His anger isn’t the problem; his anger is valid and necessary. The problem is that it sometimes targets the wrong people: mages generally and his own friends in specific. But until Danarius is dead, Fenris cannot let go of that anger because it is necessary for his survival.

If you’re a Fenris fan, you know that moment in Act III in the Hanged Man, when he’s come to meet Varania and he sees Danarius. The expression on his face when the camera zooms in is nothing like the way he looks at Hadriana, with unfettered rage. The look when he sees Danarius is pure horror. He’s been waiting for this confrontation for ten years, but I think in that moment we realize he has also been terrified of it. He remembers what happened the last time he had a taste of freedom and Danarius came for him, and though he knows he has grown since then, those emotions are still there—the horror of having turned on the people who sheltered him, the shame of realizing how deep his conditioning was, the revulsion at what Danarius had made him. Anger has kept those feelings at a distance, but now, with Danarius before him at last, he must confront them all over again. Only this time, with friends at his back, he will fight.

With Danarius dead, it’s finally over. And whether Fenris chose to kill or spare his sister, he is now forced to confront the person he’s had to be to survive until this point.

The point of Fenris’s restlessness and dissatisfaction following his victory isn’t that killing Danarius was wrong or pointless. On the contrary: we have seen throughout the entire game that there was no other way for him to truly find freedom. At the risk of getting too clinical here, trauma (which includes long periods of unrelenting high stress) tends to leave people with emotions and coping mechanisms that were necessary for their survival at the time but become maladaptive once they are away from their trauma stressors. We have already seen this with Fenris, in the way his anger sometimes targets the wrong people, and Fenris himself is aware of this, at least in his interpersonal relationships: on his own initiative he seeks Hawke out to apologize after lashing out at them. In Act II, I think we even see the early stages of Fenris beginning to extend his circle of empathy after “Dissent,” when instead of calling Anders a monster, he suggests that Anders realize his limitations, adding that it was a suggestion, not a condemnation. I think it helps in that moment that Anders seems to take responsibility for what he did, or almost did, to Ella, even if he understandably does not react well to Fenris’s “suggestion.”

And now that Danarius is dead, Fenris is beginning to realize that while his fight for freedom is over, his path to healing has really just begun. There’s a reason he isn’t ready for a romantic relationship with Hawke until Act III, and it isn’t just that intimacy was triggering or the brief recovery of his memories upsetting. Until Danarius is dead, Fenris’s emotional growth really can only go so far, because he is still at least partly stuck in survival mode, and the anger and the blanket concept of “mages dangerous” are coping mechanisms he has developed in order to survive.

With Danarius dead, now Fenris can begin to let go. Now he can go further in examining who deserves his anger and who does not. Now he can begin to truly heal. And can he learn to sympathize with mages one day and stop seeing magic as the ultimate evil? I actually do think the answer is yes. But that’s at least a five-step plan, and his arc in the game is mainly concerned with accomplishing step 2. Step 1 was “Get out of Tevinter.” Step 2 was “make Danarius dead.” The next few steps are a lot less cut and dry, involving a lot of difficult emotional work. He has begun that process, but it’s a work in progress.

With friends to support his journey, I do think Fenris can still come a long way. I just don’t think he could possibly have gotten there before Act III.

Conclusions

Fenris and Anders are on very different journeys over the course of Dragon Age II. They cannot be friends or sympathize with one another in the timeframe of the game, not because they have nothing in common, but because neither of them are in a position to let their guard down in the ways they would have to in order to connect with each other. Neither of them have reached the level of healing they would need in order to do that, and it’s not possible for either of them to reach that point in the journeys they’re on during the game, with the stories the game is telling.

That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s not possible for them to reach that point in the future. Under the right circumstances, both of them may have the rest of their lives to heal and to grow.

[lord-squiggletits]

Really I just think it was kind of an odd writing choice to assign Optimus the white guilt "oh my race/predecessors were colonists that means I'm basically a tyrant too and all of us are cursed by our ancestors' sins" allegory when like. Out of the entire IDW1 cast he is far and away the character who has done the most to fight against colonialism. He fought for 4 million years trying to stop Megatron and then continued to help Earth even after the war was over. The man personally murdered Nova Prime and Galvatron with his bare hands even (aka two of the greatest leaders of the Golden Age, the era when all that colonialism OP gets shoved onto his shoulders actually fucking happened). And not only that, he's also one of the few Cybertronians who genuinely see human beings (and other organics) as equal species with no reservations whatsoever, which is a sentiment that pretty much only Rewind matched when he said "Megatron never existing would have sucked for Cybertron but it would've saved billions of lives in the rest of the galaxy and maybe that's more important." (And also Arcee, who was around for the Golden Age and literally participated in said colonialism, saying that was a shitty era she regrets taking part in.)

Like for fuck's sake, in the same GI Joe/Transformers crossover where Windblade is lecturing Optimus about how bad he is for going against the rulings of the government and taking the law into his own hands, almost literally the entire Council of Worlds was openly calling humans weaklings who couldn't possibly be a credible threat against Cybertron and saying shit like 'I mean, they only live a few decades, if a bunch of them die it's not like it's a big deal.'

Optimus was literally out there willing to trash his own reputation and be seen as a tyrant both in the eyes of humanity and his own people, just to do everything he could to protect Earth from one in a long line of invasions/exploitations/transgressions against Earth as well as organics across the galaxy in general. Like sorry, I'm not going to stop seeing that as admirable (if in a tragic/misguided/flawed way) no matter how many characters call Optimus a fascist manipulative liar, and I'm not going to ignore how Optimus is one of the most anti-racist characters in the whole story just bc someone wanted to slap him with the colonizer allegory.

[greypetrel]

Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @melisusthewee, and at least another person. I'm sorry if I ignored the tag, I was away and it's a busy period, let me know ;_;

Tagging forward: @ndostairlyrium @shivunin @inquisimer and YOU who are reading and would like to do it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 12, right now.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 497,183 ... I'm chatty.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, and a crossover with LOTR/The Silmarillion.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Home Was Never on the Ground (long fic, concluded, it's anthological and mainly me filling blanks in DAI as inspiration stroke)

She of Many Names (ongoing, a LOTR/Dragon Age crossover. A follower on Instagram asked me if Aisling was Sauron, the idea made me laugh so much that my mind took fire.)

Saturday Prompts (a collection of prompts I posted here. I never uploaded every one of them, oops)

Death and All of Its Friends (ongoing, a DA2 collection)

The Night Before First Day (Two chapters, concluded. One it's in rhyme and illustrated. Aisling taught her daughter that the Dreadwolf is Santa out of spite. Solas tries to disapprove.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I do love angst, but I don't like angsty endings all that much ahahahahah. I think the one that gets closer, in a bitter-sweet way, is One for the Road. Call me a sucker for rare-pairs, this was also prompted here and my brain took fire (LavellanxFenris)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Night Before First Day. Listen I'm not a Christmas person, I turn into a seasonal depressed Grinch at Christmas, living in a catholic country doesn't help, and that is my way of giving myself some joy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not that I know of.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not any that I publish.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Yes I do. She of Many Names is a Dragon Age and LOTR crossover. I love it dearly, I'm slow to update it because I have the greatest love for Tolkien (with all his flaws, but my brain rewired when I saw the first movie, and the book has been my entire personality for two years. I wouldn't be the same person without it) and I do care of rendering it as I want.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? ... Not that I know of? I hope not, ahahahah :"D

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? If you consider that English is not my first language, all my fics are translated? xD Other than that, no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I'd love to.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? EowynxFaramir, hands down. Out of pure lenght. Maybe LeiaxHan Solo (my parents are both nerds, I think my mom made me watch Star Wars the first time... I don't remember, the vhs were always around in the house. I was very, very little.)(we don't talk about the sequel trilogy.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I tried to write a third chapter for the aforementioned One for the Road... But it ends up in a love triangle and I don't like love triangles that aren't a poly relationship. So, it's sitting in my folder and I'll never finish it. I was considering ditching the second chapter and rewrite it as a "Aisling as a companion in DA2" fic... But MEH.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think dialogue. I am trained as a comic artist, which means that the writing parts that get polished are dialogue. I have much more experience with that. ... I am also terrible at judging my own work in a positive way, tho, so you tell me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? English not being my first language and leading to mis-spellings. Other than that... I started writing fanfiction after YEARS of not writing anything in prose that wasn't screenplays for comics (which follows different rules). Since I stopped because of being hurt by it, I went on to it by not planning stuff.

I'm rusty with prose, and my retelling -the first thing I tackled- clearly had little planning ahead.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It's a no, for me, unless you specifically wants your audience not to understand what's being said and create a sense of isolation and of not knowing what's going on. A sentence here and there with a translation is fine. But if it's something long... You want the reader to understand well. Italicized text it is.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I wouldn't call it a fandom, but: Greek Mythology. I drew a parody comic of the Iliad in my first high school year, alongside friends. It had been so fun. I also wrote, still in high school, something heavily inspired by Eragon, which only my friends had the pleasure of reading. (I'm only saying it involved my now most hated trope: THE SECRET TWIN.)

20. Favorite fic you've written? The next one.

I'm very invested in Ashes and Sparks, aka the Dreadwolf AU. I'm putting ideas in it and going fully canon divergent and writing it as I would like Inquisition to have gone. No Corypheus, more crazy tevinters, and the focus ON FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.

In a modern setting because yes.

It's also tackling something I absolutely hate in fiction when it's done wrongly, which is time travel, and I'm sweating and hoping I'll do it with logic. It's something niche and not so focused on a single ship, so probably it'll interest only me, but I'm happily writing and trying to contain myself from posting chapters of more than 10k.

Blank Form Under the Cut

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

[blakeswritingimagines]

Sweet Nothings

Eddie: "I will never let you down, and i will never treat you with disrespect. I will always make you feel special, and I want to spend the rest of my life telling you sweet nothings, I'll make you my entire world." And “Your very beautiful, the first time I saw you I was speechless. I was stunned by your beautiful face, your beautiful eyes, your smile, your hair.. You are the most amazing person I have set eyes upon."

Steve: "You're a beautiful human being, inside and out, you can get through all the troubles you have been facing, i know you can. I believe in you." And "You're beautiful, inside and out. But you already know that. Your face still turns pink when I say it. You're a rare jewel. I'm not sure the world really deserves you."

Gareth: "I love the way you smile, and I love your cute eyes and the way you get adorably embarrassed around me. But most of all, I love how kind and compassionate you are. You are a good person who deserves to be loved and embraced. You are so special, and you deserve to smile." And "You're beautiful, do you know that? I mean, really beautiful. And you're sweet. And you're smart. You're funny. You're just about the best person in this whole world."

Robin: "I think you are just too amazing for words. There is nothing I can say that will describe just how truly wonderful you are. Your eyes are like the ocean, and your smile is like the sun. I just know that, with you, our dreams will come true. You are the key to the universe and the answer to all my questions." And "You're the smartest, the prettiest person. There's no one like you. There never will be. You're one of a kind. I don't need the sun, because I have you. I love you. You make me stronger. You make me smarter. You inspire me."

Nancy: "My darling, I love you with all that I am and all that I ever will be. Every day with you is a blessing from god above, and I look forward to waking up to your smiling face each and every day." And "Your eyes are like two pools of honey, They could light up the whole world. Your smile could make angels smile back, Your laugh is so pretty that it makes a sweet melody pop out, You are beautiful, Your face is like a painting, You could light up the sky once it gets dark, Your beauty is one in a billion."

Jonathan: "You are a treasure, a wonder, a delight, and the very best part of me. I am very lucky and very honored to know you." And "You are my sun in times of darkness, You are my starlight, You are my moonlight, You are my happiness and You are my destiny."

Argyle: "You are a star made out of stardust floating on a sea of love and light. You have an infinite capacity for love and are perfect just the way you are. You are the universe incarnate, and the universe loves you so much." And "You are the greatest person to have ever existed on this planet. You make every day better because you’re in it. You deserve the best of everything, and you are my everything. You are my light in the darkness and my rock. I would never change a thing about you. And I promise to always be by your side for the rest of my life."

Billy: "I could make you so very happy. I could be a better man. I could make all your wildest dreams come true. I could be the best thing to ever happen to you. I could love you more than you could ever imagine. I need you to tell me I have a chance." And "I love you. You have been with me through everything. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re my everything."

001: "You are as beautiful as any sunrise, and your touch is as precious to me as gold. I simply adore every part of you, each and every flaw, and each and every grace I would never swap you out for any other, my sweet." And "I will always love you. I am not perfect, and I have my flaws. But I promise you I will do my best to protect you."

[shychick-52]

I enjoyed This Duckburg Life, the little 8-episode podcast that came out after DuckTales ended (although there's no reason Fenton/Gizmoduck couldn't have been included, especially because the podcast was from Huey's pov, but I digress XD). My favorite episode is 'The Narratron 3000', where Gyro invents a mind-reading helmet that speaks the user's thoughts out loud... and it turned sentient, went evil, and tried to melt Huey's brain and take over his body. BUT...

...I mostly only enjoyed this episode because Gyro was in it so much. Because I hated that Gyro was too worried about the state of his own lab (which caught on fire in the chaos caused by his invention) to care that his machine was about to melt Huey's brain. He even went so far as to say Huey was disposable, that Scrooge still has two other nephews. The following is what was actually said:

Huey: Dr. Gearloose, help! Or I'm a goner!

Gyro: Uh, kind of busy over here! I need to put out this fire! You're not the only piece of hardware worth saving.

Huey: Please! You need to stop her! You'll never get that raise from Scrooge if you melt his nephew's brain!

Gyro: Eh, he's still got two other nephews. Now, where did I put the fire extinguisher?

Gyro did end up helping Huey in a moment, but only when Huey appealed to his ego:

Huey: Dr. Gearloose, listen! You're the greatest inventor in Duckburg! The greatest inventor in the world! You've got to come up with something, Dr. Gearloose! Anything!

But as flawed as Gyro is, I just can't see him being that cold and selfish, not even before his amazing character development at the end of the DuckTales episode 'Astro B.O.Y.D.'... and certainly not after that, especially because Huey is the one who single-handedly helped Gyro learn that Akita was directly responsible for Boyd going evil all those years ago in Tokyolk and ruining his life, plus Huey is his son's best friend and he reunited him with Gyro! (Granted, it's unknown if This Duckburg Life is even canon to the show, but it's still out-of-character for Gyro to be that cruel!) And he seriously didn't think Scrooge, Della, Donald, or anyone else would care- or wouldn't blame him for not saving Huey- if they lost him, as long as they still had Dewey and Louie?? SRSLY? COME ON, he knows this family way better than that!!

Besides, Gyro may be many things, but one of his best qualities is his willingness to always go out of his way to stop his machines from wreaking havoc and hurting others, such as in 'The Great Dime Chase' and 'Astro B.O.Y.D.' It's his way of taking responsibility for what he perceives as his failures, despite his arrogance- which is mostly a mask to hide his true insecurities- and despite insisting his inventions are merely "wildly misunderstood".

In one of my favorite parts in 'Astro B.O.Y.D.', Gyro immediately (without thinking twice about it) grabs Huey and runs with him to safety, away from the rampaging Boyd who fell back under Akita's control. That's more like it!

@bambiilooza

[9w1ft]

hi,I'm really confused by and curious about these lyrics in anti-hero:

“I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money，

She thinks I left them in the will”

would you please be so kind to explain it for me,especially the “daughter in law”part,love you so so much~~₍˄·͈༝·͈˄*₎◞ ̑̑

hi! i am not sure if have anything insightful to add but i’ll explain how i see it. she’s singing about having a dream where she has a kid who is married to a woman—in the music video i think the implication is that she has two sons and one of them is married to a woman, which would make her taylor’s daughter in law.

this daughter in law, taylor sings, kills her thinking that taylor will have wrote them into her will, meaning she will get money after killing her. and in the music video, i think the will says she leaves everything to her cats? and the song goes “the family gathers round to read it (the will) and then someone screams out, she’s laughing up at us from hell!” presumably because she didn’t leave them any assets.

i think this part of the song and mv are included in order to accentuate the anxiety and fears taylor has surrounding how the people she love might view her, and how she might grow to view these people as well. this comes up in more than a few recent songs. afterglow, or the great war, for example. where taylor sing about feeling betrayed by a loved one when that was not the case. i think it also helps drive home why scott b selling her masters to scooter hurt so deeply. because it is her greatest fears realized. it’s (i believe) the “ultimate betrayal” that taylor and jack talk about during the long pond studio sessions part about my tears ricochet.

there’s a part in the anti hero mv where she’s mentally conditioning herself to believe the phrase “everyone will betray you” and so the dream is another example of those fears realized, in a way. that her family have in fact betrayed her (being killed by her daughter in law), and on the flip side that she one upped them by assuming they would betray her and leaving them out of the will in the first place.. it’s scary to know that your neuroses hurt your loved ones and also scary to have dreams of your neuroses being right.

i also think it’s implied that she fears that her children will grow up into people she may not like. that they leach off of her (chad seems to be making a living as a nepo baby podcaster), for example.

i also know there’s an interpretation of the mv where the children can be seen to represent different factions of the fandom. preston swifties, chad gaylors, kimber kaylors? i think that was it? and i get a kick out of that and in general i think the interpretation leads to some meaningful conclusions, like that we all have flaws, or that taylor is often the one mainly causing a lot of the infighting and it’s sort of silly that we all blame one another, among other things. that’s all nice and meaningful for us. but i do think it’s also important to consider how there could be some literal truth to taylor’s anxieties as they relate to the subject of family. taylor didn’t just go through a sad dad rock phase for everyone to conclude that these things are all actually about us.