#this is one of my fav episodes it gets me emotional over him

[youngpettyqueen]

I have Hawkeye on now and im using Hawkeye rambling on about the bones in the skull as the foundation for my new headcanon that he'll just start listing off different bones when he needs to keep himself awake or calm himself down

[randomishnickname]

Must-read Destiel fics - my superduper Nov. 5th rec list

Three years ago, on the blessed day of November 5th, 2020, I had:

never seen an episode of SPN,

only had a vague inkling of what the two pale coconuts were on about,

and I hee-heed and ha-had with the rest of Tumblr about the love confession scene and the Internet errupting in an unparalleled craze

At first I thought, that's it.

Then ... I got curious. I watched some YouTube Destiel supercuts. I read some fic (I think @andhumanslovedstories beautiful Cas/OC fic was my entry point?). I read meta. I watched some more YouTube scene packs. I read even more fic. I watched some of S4, some of S1, some random fan fav episodes. And then Destiel lodged itself so deeply, thouroughly into my brain that it took over and hasn't relinquished control in the last two years. The most tenacious, pervasive brain worm to date.

This ship got it all, and this fandom got it all, and there's such delightful, powerful, batshit crazy, romantic, expertedly crafted fanfic out there, it's like being a starving child in the world's biggest candystore.

So without further ado, here's some of my very favorite fics from this infinite trove, with all my thanks to the wonderful writers who keep delighting and awing me with their dedication and craft. There'll of course be some recency bias at play but you can browse my bookmarks over here to chose from over 100 excellent and well-curated SPN stories.

💕CATEGORY: SWOONWORTHY💕

Wildly romantic fics that warm you up from the inside.

It Won't Be Perfect by someonetoanyone (10K words) Summary: Dean daydreams about what it'd be like to let himself love Cas freely.

Why I love it: the humor, the spot-on characterizations, and the quintessential late season Destiel-ness of being so deeply love with your best friend that it's too big to actually do anything about. Just. So warm.

Rock Lobster by Ginger Fail (13K) Summary: Cas decides that the lobsters Dean planned to cook need to get back home. Impromptu beach vacation ensues!

Why I love it: This road trip story is fresh and invigorating like a sea breeze! Fun, entertaining and full of deep, deep fondness.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston (32K)

Summary: On a road trip, Dean and Cas play the 36 Questions That Lead To Love.

Why I love it: They’re so deliberatedly, carefully starting a relationship here. They try so hard to bridge the gaps and meet each other halfway. A very mature take on love that feels nourishing.

☢️CATEGORY: BRAINWORMS GALORE☢️

Fics that make you go BARK BARK BARK.

samson went back to bed by piesexuality (9k, @twoheadedcas) Summary: Cas strikes a deal with Chuck - keeping his family together comes at the price of their free will.

Why I love it: What if Cas got his revenge for the Mala'ak box? What if love came at the price of everything you've been fighting for? What if a story twisted the knife oh so sweetly? Each word of this one lands a punch. Made me insane in the best of ways (cue pinned fanart).

In sickness by @saintedcastiel (41K) Summary: S4 redux but Castiel has a fetish: giving Dean the sniffles.

Why I love it: This one is soooo. Can barely find words for it. It taps into Cas' early season alienness and psychosexual obsession with Dean, brilliantly demonstrates Casdean vs Samruby parallels, and each word is just. Perfect. ARGH!

so much smoke in a hall full of mirrors by AreYouReady (6K, @autisticandroids ) Summary: Godstiel is losing his heavenly war. Crowley provides a compliant Dean-doll for him to release his frustrations upon.

Why I love it: Urgh, this one is sooo dark. Taps into the scary, intimidating and alien aspects of Godstiel so well. Gore, consent and psychosexual issues galore. Delicious.

Special mention: In a Parked Car, Exhuming Ophelia by @an-android-in-a-tutu (17K). Still need to comment properly ;)

💣CATEGORY: EMOTIONAL WRECKING BALLS💣

Angsty fics that tear you to pieces to remake you better.

What Used To Be Mine by someonetoanyone (48K words) Summary: Dean never makes his apology prayer in Purgatory - Cas dies, Dean mourns.

Why I love it: Oh god, this is a heavy hitter. Just, straight up insurmontable grief, packaged in poetic, raw language to make you shed tears and tears. Loved it so much.

Ignite your bones By ilovehowyouletmefall (67K, @angelinthefire) Summary: Dean accepts Chuck's deal: killing Sam to save the world.

Why I love it: Cruuuuel cruel premise for a story that doesn’t pull its punches. It gets dark in Dean’s head and everyone around him suffers. Wonderfully written. The ending set my brain on fire.

Right Where you Left Me by outdean (93K, @armandgender)

Summary: Cas comes back from the Empty after 10 years to find Dean married to another man.

Why I love it: This one is a riiiide. When grief has become a part of you but your love comes back… When you return from the dead and have to carve a new space into the world for yourself... nothing is easy here, but the emotions are INTENSE. Also, autistic!Cas for the win.

Special mention: Who Ya Gonna Call? by saintedcastiel (50K) and Clear skies in spring by enochianprayer (WIP)

💥CATEGORY: EPIC RIDES💥

Expansive, wild adventures with lots of ups and downs

Spirit of the West by teen_dean (140K, @urne-buriall)

Summary: An 18y old Dean grew up on a horse farm – cue veterinarian Castiel. The summer of a lifetime ensues.

Why I love it: So this is one of my very favorite stories, ever ever, and I cannot recommand enough to immediatedly suscribe to the author’s Substack to be able to follow it in „real time“ next summer. It’s cinematic, rich, full of darkness and light, it’s everything a story can aspire to, I’m just. I just really love it.

Second Verse, Same as The First by LaLaCat1 (135K)

Summary: Endverse!Cas is sent back to the start of S1 and is determined to make things right this time round.

Why I love it: a desperate and badass Cas, unfridging everyone, a thrilling plot, moments of awesome for the entire cast, gripping action scenes, a romance for the ages… this is a genuinely amazing story.

back road, black road by eden22 (167K)

Summary: 18y old Sam gets kidnapped by Hell on his way to Stanford. Dean tries to deal.

Why I love it: So this one’s not Destiel-centric but does have wonderful Destiel moments. It’s also very heavy on the gore and the angst (NOT for the faint of stomach), but expertly crafted, fascinating and frankly it deserves more love. Held my breath for half the read and never knew where it’d take me.

Special mention: It's The End Of The World (As We Know It) by tiamatv (140K)

🤪CATEGORY: DESTIEL INSANITY🤪

Uproariously funny stories about the intricate rituals these two weirdos get up too.

Life Skills by ilovehowyouletmefall (26K)

Summary: Dean teaches a newly human Cas how to be „a real man“.

Why I love it: Dean coming to Big Self-Realizations while trying to have platonic threesomes with Cas is so perfect. Very endearing, tender and funny. Also, smoking hot sex.

the cheapest room in the house by biggaybenny (89K)

Summary: Dean downloads Grindr for Cas

Why I love it: Just. Late season Dean being deranged about Cas’ sexuality while everyone watches on in utter confusion. Equally hilarious and deeply moving

according to all known laws of life by @sobsicles (29k)

Summary: Cas comes back from the Empty to a Dean who won’t stop playing gay chicken.

Why I love it: They are both such petty, insane weirdos in this one. They said „can every situation be turned into a squabble“ and didn’t wait for an answer. So funny, so tender

Special mention: Wedding Vows and Negotiations by GingerFail (6K)

That's it, enjoy and leave your writers some much-deserved love!

[secretlysamcro]

“Till it’s gone”🐦‍⬛

Yelawolf

Played: Season 7, Episode 2

Female reader x Jax Teller

Little one shots based on my fav songs from SOA

💀slight violence, slight smut,swearing, adultery - If you’re under the age of 18, haven’t finished the show or dislike any of said topics, please read no further.

“Damn it, y/n, it’s not that easy!” Jax’s voice echoes through the confined space of the van that’s currently parked in your usual location - a secluded area of a underground parking lot, frustration and anger lingering in the air as he turns to look at you.

Jax’s words were heavy…growing increasingly frustrated with your need to ask the same question over and over.

Jax isn’t a stupid man, he’s fully aware that cheating on Tara is wrong, but he also knows that leading you on is just as bad.

He found himself in this constant vortex of wanting -no, needing to end things with you but forever being unable.

“I’m not a fool Jax, there’s no need to pretend” you shake your head in disbelief laughing slightly. “I know I’m just your escape when things get bad at home”

“Then why bother asking y/n?” Jax growled, his voice rumbling, he displays his anger by punching the steering wheel, the sound of his ‘SO’ and ‘NS’ rings clanking against the wheel breaking the deafening silence.

“Become a man jax!” You say mockingly “handle your own for once” you knew your words would do nothing more than stir the rage that had already risen.

Jax’s struggle to contain the bubbling anger was evident as his eyes darkened with intensity. Grabbing your face. He forcefully turns your head to meet those darkened ocean eyes, refusing you the chance to look away.

“Watch your damn mouth y/n” he warned his tone sounding possessive.

Reluctantly, you pull your face away. Fighting back tears, recognising Jax’s temper. Even though you’d experienced little glimpses of his aggression during your secret intimate moments, you’ve never witnessed it out of that context - not directed at you anyway.

“I’m fucking sick of this Jax…you only ever call me when you want to get your dick wet, other than that I don’t hear from you”. Your voice quivers slightly, Jax can almost hear the anger and hurt. “I ain’t the stepping stone to be stepping on Jax, you need to sort your marriage out and leave me out of this…I ain’t nobody’s crutch”.

Jax’s gaze remains fixed forward, avoiding eye contact. He fidgets restlessly whilst sat in the drivers seat, running his fingers through his hair and adjusting his kutte. “Ain’t much I can do” Jax lets out a deep sigh, sounding uncharacteristically less confident, his voice tinged with a hint of defeat. “Unless you’re looking to check out”. Jax finally made eye contact with you again, his gaze locking with yours. The weight of his unspoken thoughts lingered behind the intense stare.

Despite knowing (whether he’d admit it or not) that Jax was only using you as a way to release his pent up stress from his marriage, the thought of bringing an end to this intimate arrangement left you feeling strangely saddened.

Deep down, you knew it was for the best. Staying in contact with Jax who’s only been using your pussy as comfort, isn’t fair on you. You’ve already been putting your life on hold for him, to be there for him, to comfort him, falling for him… when to him, you were just a warm place to seek pleasure without the weight of emotional connection.

“I guess I’ll never be the needle in the haystack that you finally found” your words echoing a previous conversation shared between the two of you where you both confessed a wish to have met under different circumstances.

Jax remained completely silent, nervously biting down on his lips as he starts the engine. His rough hand moving to rest on the back of the seat you currently occupied as he begins to reverse out of the parking lot. He refrains from speaking, keeping his pristine white air force 1’s on the gas pedal driving directly to your house.

Jax silently brings the van to a stop as he pulls up to where you live, switching off the engine whilst his lips remained sealed. The air between you both growing thick with tension.

You waited a brief moment, hoping for him to break the silence and say something, but as the seconds ticked by and his stubbornness persisted, the realisation had settled in that Jax had no intentions to speak.

Pulling yourself together, you take a deep breath and then clear your throat softly… “Well you know what they say Jax…”

He doesn’t utter a single word, but his eyes shift in your direction silently waiting to hear what it is you have to say.

“You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone”

With your final words spoken, you step out of the van. Forcefully closing the door behind you. Without even acknowledging Jax, your footsteps disappear into the night as you make your way to the entrance of your home. The conversation still lingering heavily in the thoughts of you both.

💀gifs, photos & music do not belong to me.

🖤I’m honestly enjoying writing again so much! It’s like a way to destress from my real life. I also have my first request! So I will be getting to that asap (thank you anon!)

When I used to write on here all those years ago trigger warnings etc weren’t really a thing so I apologise if I forget to mention something, or if I don’t apply the trigger warnings correctly.

Please feel free to submit requests! I’m currently writing for Jax Teller but will deffo do more SOA characters in the near future.

XOXO secretly samcro 🐦‍⬛

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

In which I cling to the last vestiges of two of my favorite shows of the year, write a eulogy for one of the most disappointing, and rejoice over the entry of a new fav. These shows are available for weekly streaming on Gaga unless otherwise noted.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Farewell to a wonderful show. @isaksbestpillow has posted all seven episodes as of last week, so if you've been waiting for a binge, now is your chance. I already said a lot about why I loved this one, so I'll just use this space to urge you again to watch! This show is a goddamn delight.

Takara's Treasure

The main narrative ended last week, but this week we got a sweet little epilogue and one more visit with Takara and Taishin. I enjoyed the brief glimpse into their near future and getting to see Taishin turn 20 with his very first fuzzy navel, though I was a bit sad we got a repeat of the finale's themes rather than treading new ground for their relationship (I could not have cared less about the fujoshi writing RPF). This was a lovely show and I will miss these characters.

Happy of the End

CWs: Assault, child abandonment, child molestation, childhood sexual slavery, dubcon (including between the main characters), human trafficking, rape, sexual coercion and exploitation, suicidal ideation/possible attempt, unsafe S&M practices, violence

A very rough week for this show in terms of the content--please mind the triggers above because these are explicit depictions and it can be hard to stomach. I am waiting to see where this show is going with its themes before I make a final judgment, but watching the fourth episode in particular, some parts felt like crossing the line into gratuitous trauma porn that provided little additional illumination. We'll see how it shakes out in the end, but please take care with this one. I continue to find the characters and relationship dynamics compelling, and I am invested in Haoren and Chihiro's attempt to have a relationship despite the metric ton of baggage they are shouldering between them. Neither is equipped to even have any idea what a healthy relationship looks like, but they see something in each other and they want to try. That tiny bit of hopeful but likely doomed thinking may be all we have to cling to in this story.

I Hear the Sunspot

Sigh. I am sad about what this show could have been. For me, the finale definitely did not succeed at sticking the landing and making the last six weeks of wheel spinning feel worth it, and this show is going down as one of the big disappointments of the year for me. As you know if you've been keeping up with this weekly post, I loved the first half of this show, and Taichi's original characterization, so much. And I don't understand what happened here. The second half has felt like a completely different, confused, demonstrably worse show. Taichi hasn't felt like himself in weeks, the plots with Maya and the job at Sign were poorly grounded, inconsistently executed, and offered little pay off either thematically or in terms of character development, and the romance writing was a complete failure. It was actually painful to see Kohei run after Taichi and confess to him again, and the directing and editing of that sequence was so muddled that I had no idea what I was supposed to understand about Taichi's emotional journey or why this was the moment he was suddenly able to reciprocate. After all that brooding and his big speech about communication, he did not communicate much of anything to Kohei in the end. And I'm supposed to be content with leaving them here? Deeply unsatisfying on just about every level.

I understand from @twig-tea that while the story followed the beats of the manga's first two volumes at a high level, this production chose to remove many of the contextual details that actually made sense of the characters' behavior. It also seems they didn't understand they were setting up character arcs that did not get resolved until a later volume the show will not cover, thus ensuring the story would end at the wrong place. Just a baffling set of adaptation choices, and so much wasted potential. It's a shame.

Love is Like a Poison

But at least we have a new favorite coming in hot a week sooner than expected! I absolutely loved this first episode, in which we meet Shiba, our cold-hearted lawyer with delusions of grandeur and a sexually charged fixation on his house plants, and Haruto, our flirty scammer who has his number. This show is really well written and packed a ton of story, comedy, and deep characterization into its first episode. It's a promising start! For now it’s only available grey outside of Japan; I am hoping it will get picked up for proper international distribution soon.

Tagging @bengiyo to add this week's anime update.

[blooming-violets]

Nicest Thing Peter x Reader for 11. In joy? I really like that fic. I reblogged it on my old account. I feel like thats an underrated fic of yours (maybe bc it came out in 2022? Idk). Would love to see what happened to them!

It's still one my favs because it is just so...me?? Like if I had to chose anything that represented my personality perfectly, it would be Nicest Thing. Just a depressed, sad bitch who loves angst and Peter Parker and enjoys Kate Nash. I feel like I need another Kate Nash song for this "sequel" fic. I'll base it off her song Trash because these two are trash for each other.

You can read this as a separate, on its own Peter x Reader thing if you'd like or you can read it as a future piece to Nicest Thing.

Warnings: Smoking a joint and getting stoned

If porn bots can over take all the tags then I better not get flagged for these gifs.

Peter looked at her through blazed out, squinting eyes. A haze of smoke filled their bathroom as they passed the joint back and forth between them. They were seated in the unfilled tub, fully clothed, and facing each other. She had made him take the spot next to the faucet under the claims that sitting over the drain made her feel “icky” like she might get sucked in. He didn’t mind. Even if their leaky faucet kept dripping cold water over his shoulder. 

“Do you remember the Rugrats episode when Tommy and Chuckie are afraid of getting sucked down the bathtub drain because Angelica tells them a story of some other baby who died that way?” He asked, handing her off the joint. 

She placed it between her lips and he watched with a slow blinking, admiration for her. He loved her. She had been with him through everything. He owed his entire life to her. Without her in his life, he would no longer be here. She was everything important in the world. 

She smiled, remembering, and let out the most beautiful laugh. She always got extra giggly when they smoked. It was one of his favorite sounds. 

“Don’t they fill the drain with play-doh and shit? It’s a weird reddish, pink color. Why do I remember that specific color so much?” She replied, mystified. 

Peter chuckled, “Because old school Rugrats was filled with some crazy ass imagery. It sticks in your mind.” 

“Yeah but I remember thinking that I specifically wanted to eat that color...like maybe it would taste nice…like the imaginary food from Hook.” She passed it back to him, letting the smoke exhale in a little, circular puffs from between her lips. 

“Do you want to get into a pretend food fight with me and see if anything appears?” He grinned. 

Her red rimmed eyes squinted back at him as she laughed, “With the way these munchies have been hitting me the past few minutes, I think it might actually happen. I could imagine food hard enough to make it show up.” 

His mind started to wander as a hungry smile spread across his face, imagining all the food he could eat, and he spoke with a dreamy whisper, “Pizza bagels.”

“What?”

“Let’s make pizza bagels. ‘M hungry. Starvin’. Gonna die if I don’t get some food in me.” 

Her eyes glowed with excitement at the idea, “Pizza bagels. Yes, you’re a genius!” 

“I know,” he giggled, it bubbled out of him without any self control. It wasn’t the weed that did it. It was her. He felt free when he was with her. He flicked out the joint against the ashtray balancing on the edge of the tub. “I really am. Smartest man alive, probably.” 

She snorted, “Okay, I wouldn’t go that far. Get your ego in check, Parker, before I have to slap some sense back into you.” 

He beamed at her, his love consumed him, feeling it outshine every other emotion rattling around inside of him. She was beautiful. Stunning. Picture perfect. He wanted to hang her up on his wall like an expensive piece of art so he could admire every day of his life. 

Her shoulders shrunk up to her ears under the intensity of his gaze.

“Stop that,” she whispered. “Don’t look at me with those eyes or I’ll kick you. I’ve got a perfect aim for your crotch in this position.”

Peter shook his head, “Nope, sorry, I refuse. I can’t help it. You look…perfect. The nicest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“You’re stoned.” 

“Yes. Doesn’t change the fact that your lips look very enticing.” He winked at her and tried to scoot forward to get a taste. 

Her socked foot landed against his chest, pushing him back in place, “I thought we were making pizza bagels, not kissing. Weren’t you just starving a minute ago?” 

“Starving for you, maybe.” 

“Peter!” She let out a loud laugh, keeping him at bay with her outstretched leg. 

He was so in love. Completely enamored. Whipped. Head over heels. Trash for her. Whatever he wanted to call it. He belonged to her so wholly. His bleeding heart was in her hand for the rest of his life. He would follow her to the ends of the earth and back again. 

“If you don’t let me kiss you right this very second, I am going to turn this shower on.” His hand reached over his shoulder to grip onto the shower knob with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

She gave a sharp inhale, “You wouldn’t dare.” 

His eyebrows raised, taking on that challenge, “Oh really?”

She knew she fucked up the second before the shower burst to life. From his position in the tub, it shot over his head to spray directly into her face. She shrieked and fell back, sliding down the sloped edge of the tub until she was nearly on her back.

It was all the opportunity he needed to pounce. He leapt on top of her to the sound of her laughter and blocked the shower stream from her face with his back. His arms wrapped protectively around her head as he laid over her. Water pooled around them, warming their bodies, and soaking through their clothes. 

They didn’t feel it. 

All he could feel was the devoted love burning a hole in his chest where his heart used to be. 

She giggled up at him, blinking water droplets from her eyes, and whispered, “You’re an ass.”

He laughed in response and crashed his lips over hers, mumbling against them, “You love me.” 

She sighed in content. Her arms snaked around his neck to draw him closer, melting happily into his kiss. 

“I do.”

[chaoortu]

listen i know i yap a lot about nick and neurodiversity in my fics but it's like. every time i reread heartstopper it really jumps out at me and i'll probably reblog this again with more thoughts as i continue my reread but like.

it strikes me as interesting that despite the fact that nick gets called a chav pretty early on by tao, we never actually see nick acting that way on page. i think the show does a good job at showing how nick has sort of chameleoned himself and stuffed his real personality down but the show is a topic for a different post. in the webcomic we see it once when charlie is teasing him about being laddish and nick decides to act that way for a laugh. on one hand, i chalk this up to most of the early webcomic/heartstopper in general being in Charlie's pov. he wouldn't have noticed these things about Nick because they didn't really notice each other until their meet cute, which is realistic. I think it also speaks well to Charlie's character that he takes who Nick is at face value and challenges Tao's opinion of him. but what jumps out at me is that in harry's birthday party we sort of see the first instance of nick's "meaner" side and it's in the context of defending Charlie. Still! The first instance of this really sunshiney character taking quite a big turn!

But notice how the dig isn't personal? These are all observations about Harry that can be deduced in the context of the material before it. That is to say, despite being friends with Harry since he was like 11, Nick keeps it simple. It reminds me a lot of how you correct a dog's behavior in the moment and I can go on for ages about Nick and dogs but again-- that'll be another post. What follows this really intense moment is another really intense moment when he and Charlie are alone and like yeah, they're teenagers, being teenaged is intense enough. But after their kiss, we have this panel and my God is it one of my favs:

I really love how Nick is framed with flowers in this scene because it really feels like it's him blossoming into himself in this moment where it's just him and Charlie. Charlie is shown over and over again to be Nick's safe person in comic and while they are obviously falling in love way before this, I still feel like this is the moment where Nick decides it's safe to love Charlie (I mean duh, they kiss a LOT in this episode), or rather, to hand Charlie his emotions and feel like they won't be fucked with or used against him. And that's huge! Nick wears all his feelings on his sleeves, he's not even slick about it either-- the fact that Christian, Sai, and Otis pick up on the fact that Nick has a thing for Charlie before he does speaks a lot to the fact that Nick doesn't seem very aware of how much of himself he gives away on the regular. Which again, in juxtaposition with the fact that he's perceived as a judgmental rugby lad by Tao (which, grain of salt here. I love Tao a lot but he's also quite judgmental in his own ways so this is a pot and kettle situation), and the fact that his own mother comments on the fact that he's much more himself since befriending Charlie? That's MASSIVE. I dunno. I could be projecting here but as an autistic teenager who did everything in my power to be like my peers and lowkey hated myself for it, I find this incredibly relatable. We see Nick starting to realize that a lot of his friends are dicks several times before he and Charlie kiss for the first time, and that's also relatable. It took me so long and still takes me so long to realize that people I thought were friends are actually quite shit. Again, I could be projecting but it reads very neurodivergent to me that it takes Nick being exposed to someone who is actually kind to him (Charlie) to realize that his friends aren't kind people. Insane tbh! Something else that got me is that we see Nick struggle with the fact that he really likes Charlie and wants to stay with him vs. the responsibility he feels to regroup with his friends. I don't actually think it's responsibility. I read it as Nick putting his mask back on and resuming the expectations he's been bearing since before he met Charlie and it's a visible struggle for him.

Nick, while pretty unaware of the fact that he can be read like a book, is also incredibly aware of the role he plays in his own friend group and the ways in which he has to perform. But he doesn't like it now. His early love for Charlie really puts things in perspective for him that he doesn't have to accept where he's at currently if he's unhappy and we get that moment of regret where we see that he knows he fucked up by leaving Charlie.

It looks like he's disassociating here. That, or his mind is still in that room with Charlie. It's a battle of expectations vs. what Nick wants. And Nick's wants are never Nick's first priority. He's a pathological people pleaser after all. And despite the fact that he just fully made out with another boy despite barely having figured out that he likes guys and the ethics on Charlie kissing him without asking (teenage stuff, I'm not arguing about it rn especially because this doesn't bother Nick in canon. idk why this discourse exists but maybe i was just making out too much as a teenager) The next day, Nick clears the air. Literally runs to Charlie's in the rain so they can talk it out and so he can be understood properly. He's desperate to make things right with him because 1) he's in love and 2) he cares a lot about Charlie's feelings to the point of putting them above his own later in the story. But the way he does it and the way he sort of overexplains his feelings almost constantly really strike me as neurodivergent. Nick goes above and beyond explaining how he feels to make sure nothing can be misconstrued and that really gives me the sense that Nick is... somewhat aware of the fact that people assume how he feels? Granted, this is coming off the heels of everyone saying he was in love with Tara, so maybe he felt the need to explain himself more since some people think one pre-teen kiss = fairytale love. (ignore the fact that Nick's fairytale kiss with the flowers totally equaled fairytale levels of love for him, lol.)

He literally explodes! Charlie is physically taken aback by his words. This happens right after Charlie has his big "I shouldn't have kissed you this was all my fault" etc. explosion. Which! The fact that Charlie explains how he feels down to feeling at fault and sharing that with Nick, who is very much like no.. no nO WAIT. I LIKED IT. (so much that he kisses Charlie to get him to understand that pre-explosion). And again, we sort of see Nick trying to bottle and be a bit more normal about it immediately before when Charlie tells him he's getting mixed-signals. Nick's response was to unmix the signal and then cry about it because THIS. IS. A . LOT.

For a cis-male character who is involved in a very masculine sport, surrounded by masculine people who are not nearly as emotional as he is(on page at least) the fact that Nick goes above and beyond in this moment where he's so vulnerable to ensure Charlie understands him is hugely neurodivergent to me. He's making sure Charlie gets that Nick loves him, he's making sure he gets that he's not mad about the kiss, and he makes sure Charlie knows he feels bad for leaving him behind. His bases are covered! There's no room to make assumptions about how he feels and I imagine for Charlie, a chronic overthinker, the fact that Nick is so blunt about his feelings all the time must be fucking incredible. He can actually take Nick at face value (at least at this point in the story ). But especially after Ben's gaslighting shit? Like fuck! I'd want to jump into a relationship too if the guy I've been crushing on for like two months ran to me house in the rain, kissed me, cleared the air, and then cried in my arms. I love emotional honesty! It's also interesting to me that it seems like his confusion towards his sexuality bothers him a LOT more than his feelings for Charlie do. He likes being in love with Charlie, that much obvious, but it's this conflict within himself that bugs him. And idk, I could be projecting again but I just can't see a neurotypical teenager reacting like that. To me, it really reads as Nick going. "Okay, I like kissing Charlie and being around Charlie. I'm in love, this is good. Check." but then his sexuality is a huge gray area until he does more research on bisexuality and decides that's the label he wants to use and I think the not knowing is what really bothers him. There's a lot of pressure in queer spaces especially nowadays to be labeled and for Nick, a character who buried his personality to be accepted by others, to specifically be upset at being confused about his identity reads as neurodivergent to me. Nick, by all accounts, doesn't seem to really care about his sexuality except for the way it challenges who he believed himself to be up until this point and what that means to the people around him who think he's just some straight laddish dude, you know? Largely, he also seems rather apathetic towards sexuality and gender in general except when he has to confront his sexuality and how other people will perceive him if they knew what his sexuality is-- hence keeping things between him and Charlie a secret despite the fact that he's never ever been shown to be ashamed of the fact that he loves Charlie.

Anyway, this post got way too long. Enjoy one of my favorite OCD/AUDHD moments between Nick and Charlie. THEY LITERALLY KISSED LIKE TEN MINUTES BEFORE THIS MOMENT... INSANE BEHAVIOR... I love them. The sillies.

[bluesyjean]

"Barber Banter May Offend" is still one of my favorite little details in S1E7. Some thoughts:

That entire sequence is excellent on levels that the first season hits so many times. The narrative is so compelling in this episode (Klaus meets god and finds out Reggie killed himself, Five collapses of blood loss from a wound he hid for like an entire day, Diego is wanted for murder of a woman he loved, Viktor's outburst to protect Leonard who then loses That Eye, Allison speeds off to confront him without the knowledge that the audience has) literally every character is going through it. I have love for all the seasons, but man, the first one is so tightly written and hits all the emotional beats for me.

Ben has a great dialog with Klaus here too, when he tells him that Luther would go after him if he was in his position. ("I know you didn't mean to die violently at a young age" is still such a great line after Klaus regrets his comeback.) The banter feels so much like siblings and you can feel Ben's frustration and tragedy so well in moments like this.

I also love and miss season one Luther (and Diego). I'll never understand why Luther got so much hate when he's at his most complex and interesting in this first season. I really feel for him, living in isolation for four years on the moon only to find out it was for nothing, because Reggie never even read his reports. All this not long after his body was mutated when he obviously worked incredibly hard to be a perfect soldier and must have at least taken some pride in how he looked and how his father viewed him. It's no wonder he reaches a breaking point.

Diego was my absolute fav in the first season, and while I still adore him, he and Luther got downgraded to comic reliefs as the series went on. Which was great at times, but man... he was so raw in season one and my heart broke for him constantly. His determination to avenge Patch, while also trying to settle his conflicting feelings over Grace coming back (when it was so hard for him to shut her down the first go-around) is something I could write much more about.

The Diego/Allison/Five dynamic is so good here and I wish we'd gotten more of it. Five is unconscious most of this episode and still, the breaking into Leonard's house and the dialog between them is more naturally funny than anything in S2/S3 if you ask me. (Said with love.)

Anyway, rewatch is ongoing. I've barely written about my favorite season, so maybe I'll sum up some more thoughts by the end of it. I'll never get tired of talking about these losers, or how much love I have for this crazy show.

PS - the choice at end of this episode of a Radiohead song... perfection.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 156 spoilers and thoughts below the cut yeah yeah yeah

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I DONT KNOW WHY BUT I THINK THE WAY HE SITS BACK HERE IS REALLY SILLY HEEHEE

also if the panels are slightly blurry uuuuuh no they're not dont worry abt it

ok back to the top bc holy shit this chapter made me crazy again

OF ALL THE CHARACTERS I COULD HAVE EXPECTED A RETURN OF. IT WAS NOT LUPELLAN

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THAT GUY CAUSE YKNOW. DEAD. BUT HERE WE ARE AHHHH ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER

and ohhh god the restoration of fate kicking in alongside all of this is insane ,, , god it might even happen sooner depending on how quickly they kick their plans into gear ,,, also this guy (forgot his name LMFAO) looks downright terrifying

i wonder how they'll go about it actually,,, especially since alicia has already had a dose of that like, dark magic paranoia poison back when she raided targa's castle. will she be able to combat what their planning,,, do they know she had been poisoned before? probably not, right? ooohhh im so curious to know,,,,,,,

ANYWAY AHH LLOYD AND JAVIER AHHHHHH AAAHHHH

LLOYD GETTING. EMOTIONAL OVER FINALLY BEING CLOSE TO GETTING THE ANSWERS HE NEEDS BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY PUSHING PAST IT GGGHHHRRRRR GGGG IM BITING MY HAND IM BITING MY HAND

he's finally so close . he's so close to being able to permanently protect this place that he loves so dearly . ooohhhghhh hhhhh . he's gotta pursue and continue to the end god im shaking him

AND THEN JAVIER BEING FOND OF HIM

im so sorry i dont have a lot of brilliant things to say im just. KICKING MY FEET ROLLING ON THE FLOOR IM. AAAHHHH my singular Analysis braincell hasn't kicked in yet sorry

sorry okay if i just post panels and scream i wont actually get anywhere but i REALLY liked the oneliners/jokes in this episode specifically got me giggling my ass off

AND LLOYD BEING A FUCKING SCHEMER TOO YOU ASSHOLE /AFF

TOP TIER ACTOR WHAT THE HELLL HAHAHAHA HIS SMUG ASS FACE

i remember seeing a post on twt about the episode preview and it was this left frame of lloyd crying and i was like "WTF FULLY EMOTIONAL MOMENT WITH LLOYD??" BUT NO ITS JUST HIM BEING CONNIVING AS USUAL LMAO

and javier's reaction HAHAHAHAHAHAA

OH ANDNDD AND AND MY FAV PART OF THIS EP

shaking crying at the way they look at each other oh my god . javier fully understanding lloyd . that the outcome lloyd wants isnt just one that benefits himself or the estate, but one that satisfies everyone,,, theyre on the same page they want the same thing a good ending for everyone they love im gonna lose my fucking MARBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PROTAGONISTS EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

AND AND ANDD THE CALLUSES ON LLOYDS HANDS. IM. SHAKING CRYING AND JAVIER'S EXPRESSION AT HIS HANDS AAHHH AAA

lloyd saying this n that about being pragmatic and yet there's this blatant fucking evidence that he's been working so hard and so long for the most idealistic, best results for the people he cares about and the people he comes across no matter what . "pragmatic" and he's going about things in a long, constructive and taxing process all so that he can fight fate while also saving people instead of realistically accepting the permanence of it . this is so poorly worded but i hope u understand HOW INSANE THIS MAKES MEEE and javier catches this for sure the fucker im shaking him

AND THEIR GOD DAMN HIGH FIVE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"business relationship" I THINK NOT! Y'ALL HIGH FIVE'D!!! AAHHAFDLKJSDFHAHHAHAHAHAHA IM GONNA THROW UP /POS

THIS MADE ME SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL FOR SOME REASON I. GHGHGHHGHGHGHGHH the first high five they share im gonna fall apart into ten billion pieces

i said this on twt but like. if anyone suggests a high five irl i think i'm actually gonna just bawl in front of them i'm so serious llovier is a fucking plague

and their second one about the hellgate was really cute/funny LMFAOOO

this ep had me giggling and wiggling around like a fucking millipede i loved this so much HEHEHEHE

i think this is just abt the beginning of the end of the truth jewel arcs,,, god i wonder what the jewel will say!!! PRAYING that it says fate can be fought bc if it says "lol nah u cant" the devastation and anguish that would follow would be INSANE i wouldnt be able to take it. id stop reading right then and there /j

AND LUPELLAN AND THAT OTHER GUY WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO TO ALICIA OH GODDDD

anyway that's all for now ,,,, i will see u next week, ,,,, or whenever i make my next shitpost,,,,!!!! end post!!!!!!!!!!

[okkos-ferrum]

Unorganized helluva boss apology tour rant cuz I think I'm going crazy

Disclaimer, cuz I know helluva fans can get defensive: A lot of this is probably my subjective opinion. I'll state my tldr as my actual objective piece of criticism, but otherwise my gripes throughout this could be based on my tastes and expectations. I genuinely don't want to take away anyone's enjoyment of this show nor hate on anyone involved, so if u just want to enjoy helluva, totally skip this :]

I think I'll actually have to give my hot take here and criticize this episode, because everyone has given way too much praise for an episode I think - in the long run - hurts the show

Im not gonna even bother organizing my thoughts I'm just gonna rant, but to start, i think the decision to start the ep right after full moon chronologically wasn't the best move. The full moon episode cliffhanger was an impactful scene and a dramatic way to start the rift between stolas and blitzo. It's where the dam of two-ish seasons finally breaks, where to me, stolas and blitzo have already said everything needed to be said, at least at the emotional maturity they currently are at. Any changes in said conversation about their relationship would require growth from both separately in order to foster a healthy discussion.

So to undercut that tension by IMMIEDTLY having blitzo somehow wiggle his way back into stolas's private property to have both double down on their stance diminishes the weight new moon's finale had. The conversation, while it does add further clarity, feels repetitive and emotionally taxing to watch, because the show has literally zero scenes of either of them reflecting on the previous night. So it's just them starting up the same fight with the same talking points we already know.

Yeah, maybe it is in character for blitzo to demand a conversation after new moon, but it shouldn't have been the path the show took. It should've allowed the story to stew in the feelings brought out in new moon, both in a narrative and meta sense by taking a break from stolatiz.

Cuz honestly I'm a bit drained of it atm. The show sells itself on the premise of blitzo being a "boss" (a hell of a bos-) and him working with imp. But all of s2 has had this obsession with stolatiz ever since the popularity of ozzie's (for good reason that episode was amazing and one of my personal favs still).

Just abt half the eps in s2 carry an emotional weight around the stolitz relationship. (where s1 has stolitz is make out sessions and the occasional threat to their life, s2 takes it up to actual life or death situations and full backstories) . This increased tension and focus draws away from the intial episodic format to become a more serialized (and imo) melodrama abt the status of the stolitz relationship. Rather than concern itself over any of the imp characters and their emotions, helluva has made all of its emotional beats and stakes throughtout the whole season relate to stoltiz in some way (or it's parallel with fizz and Ozzie in ep 7).

To return back to the ep, I also take issue with its writing of verosika. I will admit that this could be subjective, as my partner, who loves verosika and was worried abt her writing going into the ep, enjoyed how the ep integrated her. But idk, I think it is so lame that an ep like full moon, which is marketed to be abt stolitz, is fine wasting its time writing the cherubs for 90% of the episode, while can't bother making verosika a larger character in her own ep.

Like she's a SINGER, but no she's back up for STOLAS'S SONG this ep. And it's not stolas's hasn't had the chance to sing love ballads before, he's got plenty. But no, the host of the party can't even be a duet to stolas, she's gotta be back up. Like it couldve been a way stronger connection between these two if they sang a duet, rather than the show AGAIN prioritizing verbalizing stolas's emotions again.

We get a full flashback to blitzo's relationship with both fizz and stolas, but nothing on his other significant relationship??? Just a line or two of how it went down and that's it??

Side tangent: It gets on my nerves how so many people are realizing now that verosika is not a bad person. Like it's clear from even in her intro ep in s1 ep 3 she's angry rightfully for how blitzo screwed her over. But now that she actually is being nice and forgiving to stolas and blitzo respectively, now she has earned the fandom's respect??? Like the amt of comments of "Oh wow, verosika isn't a villain, she's an anatognist" drives me insane

Like to me, this ep should've stepped away from stolas directly, and focus on blitzo and verosika. Have blitzo go back to ignoring his feelings by jumping back head first into business, now with the asmodeous crystal. Then bump into verosika somehow. However it may happen, verosika and blitzo, either angrily or calmly, reflect on their own past relationship at the end, which might have blitzo making a realization of how he is repeating his past mistakes. Use the episodic format to slowly allow blitzo to mature so the next time he meets stolas, he won't just double down like he did in the beginning of the ep.

I think, personally, the decision to have verosika host the anti blitzo party diminishes her as a character. It chooses to again define her by how blitzo hurt her, rather than touching on the other underdeveloped parts of her character. She has shown to be very petty yes, but to go through all this effort seems too much, since she is a pop star and should have better things to do.

Maybe explore how she, a succubus, who is meant to have primarily sexual relationships, goes abt on her day to day as a celebrity who went to rehab. Or her relationship with maybe knowing barbie. Or the other ways to explore the set ups for her in ep 3. But no, she plays second fiddle to her second focus ep for the stoltiz drama. But yeah sure, let's have full moon be abt the cherubs.

On a final and likely my most pettiest point, this ep made me cringe a lot. I'm sorry, this is very subjective of me, but I need to say it. So much of this ep felt like fanfic. Always hammering in how "he's a prince and you're an imp" kind of deal. Stolas getting overly drunk after taking a swig of one drink to have blitzo handle him being drunk. The million puppy dog eyes by blitzo, like it felt too pitying. The rushed pacing felt like a result of this indulgent kind of writing, where it priotizes creating the cute shipping scenes before thinking about the actual plot and its effect later on. Again, just my taste tho

Alright I think I ranted enough but ...

Tl;dr: Apology tour messes up the pacing and focus of the show by continously centering itself around the stolitz drama rather than allowing time to reflect by themselves

[kobbers]

Hey there! Since you are a Leo fan I wanted to ask. What’s your opinion on Raph? I mean in general but I will say for 12 07 and 03 since those ass my favs.

In general? I love Raph. His archetypal role tends to be one of my least favorites in ensemble casts: impulsive, moody bad boys tend to get on my nerves. I simply don't find their angst and lack of self control Cool or Relatable, no matter how tragic their past is to justify their antisocial behavior.

Raph's frustration, however, comes from a place I can easily sympathize with - his family is on their own and in constant danger. You often get the feeling that he'd like to be part of society in some way, but he can't and that's stifling! The result is a core drive to protect the small circle of family and friends he does have, no matter the cost.

Though the human world is too dangerous to interact with openly, Raph still sees humans as fellow People, and will readily intervene on their behalf. He leaps boldly into action in part because he worries that indecision and delay will give the enemy more time to cause harm (of course, he also finds combat fun and fulfilling, which may occasionally get him into trouble). He may grumble and complain, but at his core Raph is a helper.

My favorite versions of Raph are the ones where he and Leo are almost too similar underneath their wildly different demeanors. Their conflicts usually come down to how they want to approach their goal, not on which goal to approach.

In fact, there's an argument to be made that in D&D terms, my ideal Raph and Leo could both be cast as paladins, with Leo as Oath of Devotion (focused on honor and protecting the innocent) and Raph as Oath of Vengeance (focused on justice and punishing the wicked). Mirage Raph, on the other hand, is 100% a barbarian. So I mean, there's a range of viable interpretations, and the character can be well-written anywhere within it. It's just that the more selfish Raph is, the less I will connect with him.

2003

I thought Blue Swords Guy was the coolest turtle as a toddler, and when I started watching 2k3 as a teenager, my general preference for straightforward paragon types led me quickly back to Leo. I liked Raph the least almost instinctively, purely based on role. But the show won me over on every single brother, and I couldn't even begin to rank a least favorite anymore. Even at his worst early in the show, Raph is just struggling with impulse control rather than relishing violence or being contrary for its own sake. Sometimes he might enter a fight too early or resist retreat, but he rarely enters a fight unnecessarily. He might hide his squishier emotions, but he clearly still feels them. It lays down that core of Raph-as-protector that softens him from his more troubled, bloodthirsty Mirage counterpart. A good bean, 10/10 favorite Raph, heavily influences what I want to see from the character in general.

2007

The general vibes of this movie are similar to 2k3, which is why it sometimes surprises people that it's supposed to be in the live action film continuity as a sort of TMNT 4.

It's weird as a whole though, because Raph was the director's favorite turtle and it shows - Leo makes a poor foil because he is simply written to be wrong (I HATE his "I'm better than you" line for many reasons, heheh). But in terms of how Raph reacts to everything the story throws at him, it all rings true to character. He's my favorite character in this movie kind of by default, because Leo and Splinter are ~off~ and Mike and Don are mostly just on quip duty. But that doesn't change that Raph's still legitimately solid.

2012

Honestly can't say much about this version - I only made it a season into this show due to general annoyances I had with the writing. I remember liking Sean Astin's vocal performance, at least. And I remember digging the premise of that one episode where Raph tries to be the leader and finds that he's way more comfortable acting on plans than making them.

[just-a-carrot]

ok so i ???? just finished playing all the arcs and tell me why i'm sitting here sobbing and grinning like a sopping cat over A SOPPING CAT OF A MAN.

when i last sent an ask i was on arc 2 but. it fucking destroyed me because !!! it felt so complete !! with genzou!!! and iggy !!! being together and soft and sweet. also the ace conversation about??? And acceptance??? and him not being broken?? fucking broke me?????? the arc felt like decades of yearning resolved but i will say. something felt off namely the overall. like. Openness about the rest of the characters just being. ignored and overall genzou's childhood behaviour being brushed over???hohohohOHO how fucking wrong i was about this never being addressed.

act 3 was a whole another can of worms but i will say. this is my second favourite (tied) arc in the entire thing because while i. i honestly hadn't seen the appeal of orly before this HOLY FUCK THIS. ORLAM THE MAN YOU ARE !!!! THE BEAST THE CREATURE THE. anyway hit me right in the feels with a lot of the. emotions surrounding him and the way iggy seemed to be the only one who looked after him and. even though it did indulge a bit of my past suicidal tendencies and fantasies (??) it was still so hedonistic and fun. baby girl you are so unhinged about everything ever and i love you for it. also loved the fact that despite his route being. probably one of the worst endings ever it still felt. so sweet? in places? like irl it seemed very much like orlam started liking iggy much as a way to get over genzou but eventually realised that this isn't a joke anymore bro.... anyway the entire dance and like. love part of it was soooo. baby you are so fucked up i support your rights and wrongs. also shoutout to my fav cg ever where iggy is just. gaming intensely as orlam has a threesome in the background. boundaries king FGHJK i could not stop laughing

act 4.... oh god this is the other second favourite tied arc mainly because of how close it hit to home with the entire mother issues + non binary thing. even though i personally can't see iggy and gidget working out as a romantic relationship, their moments especially in the flashbacks were so sweet and innocent. LOVED the internal dilemma and the pressure sweet sweet gidge put on themself because of others and the way iggy unintentionally reinforced it??? even though i felt personal revulsion at the s/a scene as like. aroacespec individual i will like. forgive gidge mainly because it's very obvious it's a projection of their desire to simply fit in and be normal and like. it was so. it was done so well . also shout out to genzou ??? pining??? in this act??? ik this is meant to be gidge's arc but hello. genzou. i think this is the moment i was like. fully sold on them like the amount they're willing to sacrifice for iggy the way their entire lives sorta revolves around the two of them..... wails they're really so soulmates coded like the 20 years is INSANE . also shoutout to cecil !!!! my fav !!!! butler !!! his dynamic with orlam and gidge is soooo.... to me. love the entire premise of their character and how much they dislike iggy GHJKKL. orlam and cecil sequel one day because they're so.

ok but through this all i was thinking. ok that's nice but iggy is still very much an accessory where is his wish and.

oh.

to say act 5 blew me out of the water would be an understatement because it was (is) genuinely one of the favourite conclusions to a game i've ever seen. not only does it neatly tie up everyone's arcs and shoots their character development... it's just so. special to me about how this little group comes back together despite everything. from gidge finally discovering themself (even at the death of cecil my beloved) and how their arc was resolved with her not having to be a crutch on iggy and iggy realising how much they hurt them and accepting them just the way they are.... to orlam's entire manic episode being cut short by the frankly beautiful reconciliation between genzou and him and the entire apology and finally feeling remorse and emotion like joy..... to jerry !! the most beloved rabbit who cannot for the love of life beat the secretly soft allegations..... bucks and hunar with buck's internalising the violence as something intrinsic and hunar saying that it's not and he'll love her anyway because she's capable of gentleness and goodness and love and that entire emotion being the one thing that brings them back....saydie wanting to die being her purest wish and being a conduit to iggy specifically and being the catalyst for the our wonderland destruction....

ah. but my favourite part has to be iggy. iggy being the one person who's lived his life so much for others to the point where he's hollow and his only wish is to make his friends happy finally. finally choosing himself and choosing happiness and choosing freedom and love for himself despite. everything. for instead of trying so hard. from hating himself for not being good enough for everyone for making so many mistakes to wanting to not exist to grabbing life by the hands and making a choice of i want to live the way i want to and my friends will like me anyway because they're my friends!! the fakeout choice the entire ending cutscene with the willow tree....... i'm so normal about this i promise (i am delirious. this was such a good end to his arc)

precisely because i like. wanted to drive in the live-on-my-own-terms i personally love the independent ending the most (which does seem?? to set him up for love still, which is very neat!) but the close second will the genzou ending because. genzy save me genzy save me.... the tenderness with the way the both of them treat each other, the softness and gentleness the. entire love confession scene with iggy !! telling genzou to live for himself and not because of him (which i felt was SO IMPORTANT personally) and the. rushing of the emotions and. the final kiss feeling so complete. even the ending made me wail because these two made it tgt finally.... it's just so.

anyway this is to say. this game will not be living rent free in my head for a long while. this is such a gem of a game and it is sooo criminally underrated i am going to lose my mind. literally every aspect of the game is so beautiful from the horror being macabrely showstopping and aesthetic?? to the expressions to the dialogue to the entire interactions and growth to the message....... thank you for this i think this simultaneously broke me five ways but . this was just so. i'm in shambles !!!! <3 <3 <3

ahhhhhhhh.......... 🥺💕

this is so incredibly sweet... you're really making me tear up here...

"something felt off namely the overall. like. Openness about the rest of the characters just being. ignored" -> LKJDLFAKD indeed.......... many many more arcs of pain yet to come.........

there's just like. an inherent Nope to all the arcs until the end. obviously some of them Nope much harder, but even the ones that don't scream Nope are still Nope at heart. because you can't just have one good thing happen and ignore the rest of the issues going on and expect everything to still be OK... lol

really enjoyed reading all your thoughts about the different arcs 🤭 i'm glad you enjoyed them all in different ways. they all feel so vastly different in my head somehow. and i love all of them in different ways. even if there are parts of them in each that are sometimes hard for me to replay ldkjfafd it's always so curious to me not only which arc(s) people will prefer but also how much their opinions on chars change as they go through the arcs

i'm also glad you liked how everything tied up in arc 5 and everyone's different conclusions to their "character arcs" so to speak... arc 5 is just so intense to me ldkjfads also i feel like to much hinges on it and whether people will like how the characters make it through to the end. i'm really happy you liked it so much!! 💕

iggy's kinda whole ending... shtick... is very personal to me and was really cathartic for me to work on. i'm really touched it could mean so much to you 💕💕 (i still cry when i watch the field scene...)

ahhh you played both the neutral and genzy endings then!! i'm happy you liked them both 😍 the neutral ending does indeed set things up lakdjfa (it's a little easter egg that ties the game into Our Cinderella, one of the side games, if you haven't played it yet) i suppose because i wanted it be an ending for iggy himself while at the same time being like, well if iggy chooses himself then he can't ever find companionship later if he wants it, or something like that. it felt like a nice little way to allow room for both and iggy to have time and choice

ahhhh the genzy epilogue does cut to the core of me tho... my heart... 💕

your words are really too much. thank you so much for the kind message and for all the love for the game and chars. i'm really happy you ended up enjoying everything!! thank you for reaching out! this really made my day! 🥺

[mikuni14]

Dead Friend Forever - Ep 7

This episode of DFF is also excellent and I feel so blessed to have experienced two series with such well-written scripts this week (the other being Love for Love's Sake, of course) 💖

Everything in DFF is clear, logical and understandable when we take into account that the characters of this series are 1) humans 2) teenagers. I completely understand the behavior of each of these characters, even when I feel like tearing my hair out or throwing punches and kicks at them. If anyone is wondering whether what Non, his teacher, his bullies, is doing is illogical, I encourage you to study police reports - I have literally read about situations such as those in DFF.

Phee: what a solid guy 😍 As soon as he appears, we see him as a perfect boyfriend, romantic, strong, who gets things done. I like his attitude, the fact that no matter what, how, he gets shit done, even if he has to use his own father and his position to do it. I understand his controlling nature when you have a boyfriend like Non (Phee is in love, but he's not stupid and naive), I also understand that he doesn't fully trust Non. I completely understand his behavior at the end, especially when he entered the scene with Non and the teacher hugging. I also understand cruel words. Should Phee have acted differently? Of course. But he COULD NOT. Because he would have to be made of stone and be a hardened adult with perfect self-control and nerves of steel. Phee, despite how smart and talented he is, is only human and is still a child who doesn't have to be able to regulate his emotions, control his feelings of hurt, betrayal and rejection, and doesn't have to be able to cope ALWAYS and in every situation. Perhaps when Phee calms down, he will want to explain the situation, or at least apologize for his words. Who knows. Anyway, he's great as a character, my fav.

Non: in his being pathetic, in refusing Phee's help, in trying to save his situation by sinking deeper and deeper, in trusting the wrong people, in "allowing" bullying, in seeking validation of his self-worth where he shouldn't be, he is 100% real. Non irritates and that's how it should be. Because victims are often irritating and often confusing in their behavior. And how often questions are asked: but he/she agreed to it, no one forced her/him, he/she went there herself, they did it of their own free will! Why didn't he/she tell anyone, why didn't they confess? And here we can also ask why Non is doing all this, why won't he confess to Phee, why won't he transfer to another school, why is he having sex with the teacher? For me, Non is a victim of the system, his illness, his family, his school, and maybe also his personality. I also wondered why he didn't want to change schools and just leave it all behind, usually students who are victims of bullying dream of changing schools. But I think, looking at his conversation with Phee, that Non wanted to regain control over his life, wanted to solve his problems himself, perhaps feeling like a weakling and a loser seeing how easily Phee solved his problems. Perhaps he felt that control over his life was slipping from his fingers and he desperately tried to regain it by closing open issues, such as his debt and the movie. Does his behavior make sense to me? No. But I've never been in such a situation, I'm trying to understand it and this explanation seems quite logical to me. Especially since Non tries hard and finally wants to give up at least the movie, while staying at the summer house, and is stopped by Jin. And he tries to get the money back by sleeping with his teacher, because in his mind THIS is not bad, THIS is just a way to solve the debt problem. And for him, a poor person, the problem of money may be more important than having sex with a teacher. Sex with the teacher itself doesn't have to be such a big problem for him, especially since the teacher is young, handsome, helpful, nice and shows compassion and attention. For a person like Non, it may even be flattering and he may even convince himself that nothing bad is happening, it's just sex, physical stuff, he gets something out of it that solves his money problem and the teacher is so nice! I can imagine how Non can manipulate himself in this situation and how easy a victim of grooming and manipulation he is for the teacher. And I must say that the series shows PERFECTLY how adults prey on children and teenagers, technically the adult does not force Non to do anything, he just sets up a very complicated trap in which Non cannot say "no". This series really doesn't fuck around, it just shows the TRUTH. Just to be clear: Non is the SA victim in this situation, PERIOD. I do not accept any accusations against him.

Jin: I don't know ultimately whether it was Jin who released this video, but if he did it, I understand that too, his behavior seems logical to me. People do all kinds of stupid and hurtful things under the influence of feelings of betrayal and hurt (even if Jin had no right to these feelings), especially young people (here is the same situation as with Phee, which I described above). Jin may feel betrayed, because he "did so much for Non", he always defended him. Jin also honestly has a crush on Non and found him not with a boy on a date (Jin didn't have any strong reaction to seeing Non hugged by another boy), but having sex with an adult and with a teacher to that. It's a lot to digest, and clearly Jin couldn't handle it at all (if I'm not mistaken, he was also drinking, which certainly didn't help).

All these shitty little pricks: Fluke, as always, avoids trouble and simply removes himself from situations, never comments, never takes sides (meaning - he takes sides with the bullies). I wonder how Jin always looks at him when he's looking for allies to help Non and how Fluke never reacts. Por, with his increasingly worse behavior, also fits the mold of a classic bully who has found a victim, in addition, someone he truly hates, and whom he can torment without consequences, and it's quite possible that he simply likes it. All this is a dangerous mix, pushing Non to his limits, encouraging other bullies, but also very realistic. Tee and Top are up to something and it scares me. All I know is that this money will be stolen and Non will have to get it again...

I am very impressed with this series, how well it's done, how realistic and logical it is. I'm incredibly intrigued and curious and I'm looking forward to the next episode. I rate the story building, script and character cohesion as 10.

[novantinuum]

heya! :D I'm so happy I found your blog, I just did a su rewatch this summer and I'm obsessed again! I was wondering if you had some fic recs to share? especially any and all that deal with steven's trauma (whether that be corruption aftermath, his abandonment issues, any of the traumatic experiences he had), anything really, just some nice and thorough hurt/comfort and healing <3 definitely up to any other recs you might have, even if they're about something completely different haha. thank you in advance!!

Ooooh heck yeah I can rec some of my favs! Admittedly, these days I haven't been reading that much new fic, so I'm not sure what new stuff is out there that's gone unnoticed, but I went through my bookmarks and found a few fics that still stand out to me today as ones I remember really vibing with when I read them-

First off, some fics that I remember delving into Steven's trauma (along other things)-

Aid to Navigation, by Ppleater (or @infriga here on tumblr)

Honest to god, this is my favorite Steven Universe fic on the whole goddamn internet. Post I Am My Monster hurt/comfort content galore. Emotional catharsis out the wazoo. Fascinating theorization about how Steven works as a hybrid. Sometimes there's even chapter artwork. ALSO NANEFUA AS AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER, WHICH I RARELY SEE LET'S GO NANEFUA

a world for the birds, by @fanfoolishness

Do you like Uncle Andy? Do you vibe with the idea of bird watching? Do you wanna read about Andy's outsider observations of the trajectory of his nephew's bizarre life as he shares his hobby of bird watching with Steven as a bonding activity over the years moving into the events of Steven Universe: Future??

Go read this fic, it destroys me. In fact, just do yourself a favor and check out this author's whole catalogue, because my next fic rec is from her, too.

Comminuted, by @fanfoolishness

Post Growing Pains hurt/comfort focused on Steven and his dad's relationship. I remember this one dropping pretty damn soon after the episode aired and it w r e c k e d my emotions and gave me all the catharsis my sappy little heart desired at the time.

WELCOME BACK TO THE VLOG, steven universe here! by waddlesthejoghog (or @thisisnotacreativeusername here on tumblr)

Here's a story with a COMPLETELY different format than all the others- this one chronicles Steven's life through a variety of videos he posts to his TubeTube channel over the years. (Which, if you watch the SU shorts, is a canonical fun fact about him! He posts unboxing videos and reactions and stuff online, ahah.)

Each chapter sorta like, "transcribes" what's happening in the video, and there's even a little views/likes/dislikes/subscriber count + mock comments section at the end of every one! I found it a very charming and fun read- but also it punched me in the face by the end because it's like a whole microcosm of Steven's character development throughout the entire show mashed into one 59 chapter story.

This one is not wholly focused on Steven's trauma, as it spans the events of the entire show, but that does play a decently big role later on in the fic.

__

As a quick little self-plug, I've also written a good deal of fics focused on various shades of Steven's traumatic experiences, and the following is (probably) my favorite of those:

A Memoir of the Marks Unseen (uhh... by me lol)

This one is focused on the topic of Steven + the headcanon of him having corruption scars like the other healed Gems, and picks up pretty soon after I Am My Monster. It spans months (and later Years) after that, detailing his journey towards accepting these remnants as a neutral part of him. I'm still very proud of finishing it, as I was pulling from some raw personal experience with this one.

__

Lastly, here's two Connie focused fics I remember slapping ass in their own various ways:

Xenopology, by CompletelyDifferent

Some Connie + all the Gems character study pieces!

The Stranger in Me, by Cyberwraith9

Connie accidentally gets perma-bonded with a poofed gemstone retrieved from a corrupted Gem. Hijinks ensue. I remember this one having a legendary level of character development for Connie and her whole family especially ;w;

[oatmealdaydreams]

What’s your favorite thing about your favorite Thomas Sanders character(s)?

Hey, Anon :D

Well, let's see...

Remus/Remus: I love how unsettling he is and how he's not afraid to be himself and do fuck-all. I relate a lot to being a weird, creepy sibling people are hesitant to be around, so Remus is a big comfort character. Also, I love how he's also Creativity and has lots of his own ideas, no matter how dark they may be. And his humour sends me every time (lmao). And of course, the weird facts he knows is very relatable. And the fact he just wants to be listened to and acknowledged. And all the unhinged chaos from him. And the drama and him just being a freakin' goober.

Logan/Logan: Him being a giant nerd and one of the more-mature Sides in the group is a bit relatable. I love seeing him being enthusiastic about Crofter's and making puns and when he gets to indulge in things he really likes. Him being very intelligent but also struggling with emotions and such. How bad he just wants to be taken seriously and listened and such. How he keeps getting pushed around and ignored, and when as soon as he lashes out because he's hurting, the Others blame him for it. I love how he apologizes for lashing out, though it's always his right to. I relate a lot to how he represses the "icky emotions" or refrains himself because he thinks he can't be emotional if he's to be taken seriously.

Roman/Roman: how passionate he is about things he loves, like acting and Disney and his creative merits. How he keeps getting used and manipulated and he's just so confused because he needs clear structure as the Ego, but everything is just jumbled and he's not sure what's right to do anymore. All of the angst with this poor guy is just relatable. How happy he gets when Logan asked him for his creative help!! That was a vulnerable and wholesome moment. How creative he gets and how he shows he knows his fellow Sides and friends through his gifts (him getting Janus socks for warmth and writing an entire story/fanfic/play about Sherlock for Logan). He's just so thoughtful and caring. He shows he loves them through playful teasing and jokes and banter!! And he's growing and learning and apologizing when he screws up. Like, him and Virgil getting closer and becoming besties. How insecure he is because he's terrified of failure and being imperfect and especially of rejection.

Virgil/Virgil: he's been a fav of mine since middle school, which was around the time the series was first starting and soon we met him as Anxiety (way back in 2016). I've related to him especially as someone who was a bit emo and also struggles A Lot with anxiety and an anxiety disorder(s). His fashion sense with his purple jacket/hoodie is my fav thing, btw. He was a big part of my comfort growing up. Kind of a nostalgic comfort. I love how he has spiders all over his room because I relate to loving spiders and not being scared of them. I love his sarcasm and humour and his counterpoints. I love his debate episode with Logan. This snarky spiderling was a big reason why I'm still alive, believe or not, and so he's an important character to me. Just a big Fav to me.

Janus/Janus: This sarcastic, villain-aesthetic serpent is important to me because of the fact that he's both Deceit AND Self-Perseveration. It's so damn relatable because I was the kid who knew how to lie so well that my lies were almost always regarded as truth. I had to lie and hide things to survive because I grew up as a queer Christian kid in a scary and unsupportive place. If I slipped up the slightest, there was absolute horror to pay. Also, the queer-coded villain aesthetic is one of my fav things. This man doesn't need to be that melodramatic but he is because that's what he likes to do. He's a petty lil drama king, and I love that about him. Also his [implied?] angst of having this fear of vulnerability and getting hurt again is... it's very important to me.

Patton/Patton: I relate to him the least, but oh boy do I have things to SAY. Him a total dad and making so much puns is funny to me. It's very relatable to be the kind of person so take care [or try to] of everyone else but forget about myself. Him loving cats but being allergic is comical, lmao. Him trying to repress and hide his "icky emotions" and just showing the happy positive ones is something that's a bit too relatable. As someone who's struggled with smiling depression, it can get to the point where people don't believe you when you finally show a hint of not being okay. And so you just go back to faking it, and then get ignored again whilst taking care of everyone else. But yeah, he's a pretty good character and almost reminds me of some family of mine.

c!Thomas/c!Thomas: one thing I will never get over about this character is the fact that he's a struggling artist and creator that is going through A Lot and still healing and discovering things about himself. That's some of the most relatable shit. He's so human and shows the healing process as a bumpy road which is TRUE to reality and I love it. His Sides and him are learning together, and that's just beautiful. Maybe not my most fav, but still pretty high up there on the Brainrot chart.

As you can see, I have things to say about ALL of them. All of the main seven, anyway. I'm sure I'll have lots to say once we meet and see Orange.

[sorry this was so long]

[jackjackal]

Unpopular Opinion...

I don't hate it...but I'm not a huge fan of H2O season 3 (I might even write my own rewrite like I'm doing for HoA)...but here's why:

Bella is GREAT...but she's absolutely no Emma (and she's not supposed to be...I know!) All I'm saying is that her character is a little on the Alex from Totally Spies level (which again is not a bad thing!!) BUT Alex 100% got overshadowed by Clover and Sam...and I think that Bella's the same way in H2O. Rikki and Cleo are just a little bit more interesting character-wise (just in my opinion). Which means Bella is a lot like Sirena in the Mako Mermaids Netflix spinoff...she can sing BEAUTIFULLY, but other than the singing...she really just follows Will around the whole season like a lost little puppy (as does Sirena to David) and she doesn't do much of standing up for herself (at least in episodes 1 - 15). Even her power is kinda a reflection of her character...it's like slime...something that's cool and fun to play with, but eventually you get bored with it. What I mean by this is that she 100% was brought on board for looks (even Bella stans have to admit she has WAY more scenes in fancy dresses and bikini tops than Emma, Cleo, or Rikki) and because of this it muddied the whole theme of the show a bit by going against EVERYTHING H2O stood for (female independence and power...power not from the ability to turn heads or from their mermaid abilities, but from their own strength of character and intelligence, emotional or otherwise). In the end, Bella just does not meet the standards to replace Emma (and I don't think she was meant to...but still). Her character is just not as dynamic...and I think that's one of the things that makes me not rewatch or like S3 as much as S1-2.

They changed ALOT. I said it to one of my friends earlier...S3 is like that episode in S2 when Ash takes over and changes the cafe. It's just too much too soon. The JuiceNet becomes Rikki's, Bella replaces Emma, Will's there (we'll get to him later), Sophie's there (Neo-Charlotte who's less of a good villain), Sam's there, all of them are older by a noticable amount and Zane has a haircut like a 70-year-old, Mako's going insane with creepy tentacle creature thing, and the whole freaking theme song changes to be more fast-paced and "hip" with a lot of what sounds like to me to be autotune. Now I realize change is good and everything...but it really just makes me sad to watch the whole thing. ESPECIALLY when Lewis leaves (I think my heart was crushed and spat on). He was being all cute and romantic in this season with Cleo too :'( BUT, overall I liked a lot of the changes (Bella, as I mentioned was fine just maybe not as good as Emma was, Drummer!Lewis my heart, and I enjoyed the family antics with Sam...so I really didn't mind her being in it, it was cute that Don fell in love <3 ) Summary of this point: I don't like change and Emma was not my fav character but she was MY character (the most like me). When she left...it kinda made me think of things...like am I replaceable?? Anyways...moving on...

Will. Pretty much enough said with that. He's arrogant, too obessed with power and mermaids, and way too mean to Bella. He treats her like dirt most of the season and makes me wonder like...is Will the real villain of S3??? Also they make his character out to be like he's a merman just without the powers (with the whole free diving arc)...and it's honestly kinda like he's a Byron wannabe but also a weird Frankenhybrid of Dr. Denman, Zane, Zac (from Mako Mermaids), Erik (from Mako Mermaids), and idk now I'm just listing people. His character is just kinda strange to me because first of all where the other guys have their faults, they're also sensitive and romantic at times. Will is not. He's just kinda annoying. I even like Nate more than him lol (cause at least his character isn't two-faced like Will's...he's always been NateTM). Anyways...Will and Sophie are like the evil but not evil? dynamic disaster duo of S3. They're both just kinda not fun to watch...which brings me to Sophie.

Sophie. Again, enough said. She's a Charlotte wannabe with all her red hair, snooping problems, and obession with Will (which is kinda a little weird...but not unlike Charlotte's obession with Lewis...except they weren't brother and sister...yikes). She also presses my buttons, which, good job show writers. But it just makes it a little like this has happened before. What's new? Also makes the season a little less rewatchable.

I'm really just ranting at small details now, so I'll get to my last and ultimately largest point. Season 3 lost the magic for me. When I was rewatching for the zillionth time...I noticed this rather huge change. Seasons 1 and 2 I was MESMORIZED. The water, the ocean, the pleasing details of Emma, Cleo, and Rikki having the white, purple, and red motifs throughout, the details of small little scenes like how in the episode with Rikki's father she held a CHIPPED mug and her father held a non-chipped one like she felt her image was broken/imperfect based on their lack of money and less impressive house while the dad could care less and was honestly proud of it (wooooah, okay sorry about that, but like that scene made me sooooo happy as a writer like UGGH...writers/directors made gold with that scene). Anyways, details like this were just not there in S3 (well vitrually not there...there were some like when Sophie wore Rikki's color red to impress Zane)...almost like the whole message changed from being about struggles of being a teenager and growing up to yay mermaids!! And let's focus more on the image/humor of the show as opposed to teaching us important morals. It just...kinda lost it for me. It just was not nearly as magical as S1-2 and I'm not talking actual magic. I'm talking vibes and inner magic...and all that shiz.

Overall...I give S3 a 3.5/5 ⭐️s Decent if you want more of a H2O fanfic experience but just NOT as good as the OG mermaid trio and OG guys (Lewis, Zane, and Ash...Byron you were great too, but not as good as Ash).

Which brings me to Ash...okay, okay jk! I'm not gonna steal more of your life than I already have. But just know that if I get around to my S3 rewrite idea (which I already have the plot decided and everything) then you'll be seeing a lot more of him! Woot! Thanks for reading and putting up with me. Feel free to chat with me anytime your feelings on H2O season 3 or any topic really! I love chating with fellow obsessees!💖🧜‍♀️

[ultfreakme]

So one of my fav fic author, just wrote a non-power AU of GoYuu (gojo/yuji) & SukuFushi (sukuna/ fushiguro) and...... I don't know what to feel. Like, have you know someone who ship them (it's the first for me) ? The fic's not underage, yuji's and megumi's age had been aged up by the author, but still the age gap, the dynamics, right? Can you think the reasons to ship them? Well, creativity really knows no bound.....😂😶

Oooh I have actually come across both of these ships very often on ao3. The ItaJun tag has a bunch of them on top hehe. I actually used to ship Sukuna and Megumi a little back when the anime was first airing(not anymore though).

For Gojo/Yuuji I think the first episode scene where their faces are super duper close probably kickstarted it

(Gojo: tf is personal space??? what's thaaaat???) GoYuu has a very popular ship dynamic I've observed in many fandoms; Student x Teacher. There's always a kind of jaded, aloof and distant teacher-figure who's shipped with the cheery, open-minded and sunny student-figure. I've heard that dynamic is really popular in East Asian fandom spaces(it appears a lot in danmei novels I've read). GoYuu was apparently the most popular ship in Japan (it beat out SatoSugu). Gojo argued to keep Yuuji alive and gave him time, so that's probably a point of appeal too. Gojo usually has no serious reactions to anything, he could have easily killed Yuuji and been done with it but he wanted him to live(Megumi did but eh, technicalities). What made this distant and carefree person take interest in the well-being of this stranger? Why would he risk the world for this one boy? That's probably the start of it. And then in the development, it's probably about how Yuuji can break down Gojo's walls and make him be more honest in his emotions.

2. Sukuna/Megumi: I used to ship it because I thought Sukuna was interested in Megumi as a person, assumed he'd be someone who can give him a good fight or wanted him as an ally.

Also this probably, look at that aesthetic appeal:

(Damn Mappa had a thing for these, ItaJun also had this. Why???? Fuel fujo-bait??? I thank them for the ItaJun version)

Right before this Sukuna's all giggling laughing asking Megumi to give him more(to fight against, but like, SukuFushi enjoyers probably enjoy taking that to mean something different). I think we all assumed he was interested in Megumi's evolution as a sorcerer. He takes joy in fighting and if anyone can catch his interest, it'd be someone who's struggling to get stronger and sees him as a rival.

It seems like he doesn't give a shit about anyone but Megumi. Like that one time he verbatiom said "Aside from him, I truly don't care". Also in Shibuya arc he heals Megumi and fights Mahoraga and everyone though it's because he cares about him(I was a fool).

On Megumi's end, okay idk what the current SukuFushi shippers expect but I personally wanted Megumi to kill Sukuna even when I was shipping them. Enemies to lovers except one of them is permanently in the enemies phase. As far as I've seen, there's always this non-con element to it? Like Megumi is extremely reluctant, Sukuna is unrelenting in pursuing him, and Megumi goes through a bit of a corruption arc and Sukuna.....well he isn't redeemed but he tones down because Megumi asks. A Beauty & The Beast situation.

I was talking about it to my bff and she was (rightfully) roasting me like we were joking around. Me: "Sukuna wants him for his body.....but like literally he wants to be inside him." My friend: "You mean possess him???" Me: "That's the word yes!"

The age-gap thing for SukuFushi feels more okay because I grew up on a bunch of fantasy shojo manga where a high school girl fell for an ancient spirit with a minimum age of 100. This isn't even an animanga thing, it's there in western media too(....Twilight). A lot of people just don't see the point of mulling over age gaps when the differences are centuries, even if the other half is a minor.

As for GoYuu, well I guess it's fiction, they're just lines on a page at the end of the day and it's less about the legalities of the gap and more about the dynamics it brings to the table that people can find interest in. The power difference, the difference in ways they view the world, the younger one is always more innocent, etc.

I personally don't find these to be my interests 99% of the time but I get why others would enjoy it (my few exceptions are Scum Villain and ErHa but if I start trying to explain THOSE messes we'd all lose it).

I guess people would be confused why I'm still hung up on ItaJun too huh? XDXD But as you said, fanon and creativity has no limits and people do as they like and enjoy.