#this is no actual medical advice i dont know shit about anything

[fabulouslygaybean]

man. on one hand, it's kinda nice that my mom is so chill about a lot of shit that most parents probably would Not be chill with, but also like. i almost kind of wish she cared enough to not be so chill about it

[pixelyssa]

What would you do if you had to lose 7-10 lbs in a week?

I’m not big on fasting more than 24 hrs but high res is fine.

lovey are u okay?? this is next to impossible especially without f4sting.

i would never recommend anything for someone to lose that much in a week, sorry!!

my best advice is to NOT give timeframes like a week, a month, 2 months.. actually. you knkw why? because shit happens, theres surprise days where u will have to e@t “normal” theres days where you miscalculate and overe@t, it happennssss. so giving yourself time limits is just going to stress you out even more.

if your goal for now is 10Ibs, id say depending on where youre at now, it could take 3-6weeks. and thats not bad at all!

im currently 10I away from my UGW so heres what ive been doing (and im sorry its not the answer you wanted, im more of a harm prevention blog, who happens to be severely disordered lol)

-every thursday-sunday im working. literally non-stop doubles. so i make sure i don’t e@t at work. thats like 11 hours of no f00d. plus the many hours from the last time i at3, the night before. so about 20-24 hours of fasting (i do have coffee/tea/water/medications/vitamins during that time so its not a dry fast). i do this because it makes me feel good. by the time i get home i either decide if im super hungry and i make a low c@l meal, or eat some veg/fruits, or i just take my sleep pill and carry on the f4st.

i know you said youre not into f4sts, i wasnt sure if you meant all types. liquid is best for me because i love having soup, chicken broth, coffee/decaf coffee, etc. and its easy when im working all day im just too busy to think about f00d

-another thing ive been doing is running, well i havent for the last week because theres a family of skunks nearby and im paranoid teehee but ive been pushing myself to do SOMETHING that i enjoy since i hate working out, but running, playing with my dog, or walking with my boyfriend are all things that i actually enjoy and it helps.

-mon-wednesday i dont work, i spend the whole day with my bf each day. like i said we go on walks and play withh the dog, so my workouts are crossed off for those days. as far as e@ting goes i usually cook or bake for him. so i know exactly whats going into each dish and i can prepare (i dont eat what i bake for him because i dont have a sweet tooth, atleast thats what my bf thinks teehee) when i cook i give him a huge portion, and myself a small one. and its an OMAD for me. we stay up late playing games and then i try to sleep for as long as possible to avoid breakfast & lunch. then by dinner time, he has all the leftovers and i have something like salad or fruit or soup.

i know thats just all about me, the point is, i liquid fasting 4 days a week, sleep in on my days off to avoid f00d (and catch up on sleep ofc) and try to have 1 meal and 1 snack only during those days.

ofc i struggle with cravings, sometimes we will order out instead of cooking if its too hot to cook. i opt for things like sushi, getting a lettuce wrap instead of bread for sandwiches/burgers, etc. i pretty much e@t normal food i just stop when i start to feel full, which is around half the portion of whatever i give myself.

i hope this helps, keep in mind ive been doing this for 10 years and its not even a choice for me its second nature. its me on auto pilot, how my brain thinks. and i know its not good im self aware, im just going through it and cant choose to get better.

and i hope youre not mad that im saying your goal is impossible, its just not gonna happen without fasting, and even with, your stomach will trick your brain on day 2 that uou should give up. high r3striction and f4sting and extreme workouts are not something you start with, its something you work up to.

idk what your limit is now say its 800. thats good. 800 some days maybe 900 others. in 2 werks you will probably feel comfortable going down to 600 some days, other days. and you can keep lowering it as you get comfy. jumping from whatever your limiy is now, to 200-300 a day will lead to overe@ting & guilt anyways. for ANYONE, because our body will react.

if you do end up going lower, id invest in some vitamins (D, Calcium, B12, mens/womens multi, C), a big water bottle so you know how much water to drink daily, make sure youre getting all your hours of sleep, and make sure once a week youre spiking your limit up, so that your metabolism doesnt slow down so much that you start maintaining w8.

xoxo fairyuck

[calebwittebane]

hashtag personal Might Seem Crazy What Im About To Say but part of why ive been doing so badly lately is that uh my father has been legit dying. cirrhosis and pancreatitis and blood vessel blockages in his legs so guy can barely walk. and he has been refusing treatment because 1. hes a moron 2. he has medical trauma from his childhood. and well if all else were equal id probably be able to make some peace with it, i mean ive got my own stuff going on, and i dont owe him anything after all that he put me through, and hes not in my life right now and i want it to stay that way. except all else is not equal because theres the fact that my sibling, like, actually has a decent relationship with him and loves him and has been freaking out about this. i really hate to see them go through this. they deserve to have a dad and this fucking sucks. being sick and in pain has been taking a toll on his mental health as well and hes been acting weird and really irritable and its been rly hurtful to them. so like. this sucks a whole fucking lot. and i feel so bad in ways that seem impossible to address and, you know, make me feel physically ill because its him. and i feel like i should use some of that leverage i might have rn to call him and tell him to get his shit together and get treatment. but i Dont Fucking Want To. i dont want to speak to that man but at the same time i really feel the need to even if it doesnt end up working. but besides it not working its possible that hes going to react in some crazy way. like if he finds out that i know about his current state and that if i worry enough he can get me to contact him. god fucking dammit man this is making me go insane. i cannnnt do this like i cant cope with this. and i already know if i asked anyone from my family for advice itd just be the default Of Course You Should Call Him, Now Is The Time To Bury The Hatchet and thatd be so thoroughly unhelpful. i cant do this lol 😃 i cant fucking cope with this 😁

[hella1975]

🕯🔪🌿?

🕯 - on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

hmmmm probably 8/10 i actually don't mind editing at all. the way i edit is that i feverishly write hundreds or even thousands of words in one sitting and then when i come to a natural pause i will immediately go back and edit, so it's still fresh in my mind and i'm still excited about the scene but bc of how fast i write i generally forget it pretty quick, so rereading it is like a little reward lmao. like omg and then what happened

🔪 - what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing topic?

hmmmm i honestly don't think anything unusual by writer standards? like we have all researched insane medical and forensic shit. i got super paranoid researching bombs one time though like genuinely thought the fbi would knock on my door

🌿 - give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

i am yet to solve either of these things so the only advice i can really give knowing im a complete fucking hypocrite is DONT PANIC. this time isn't different you haven't lost it it will come back you aren't broken or untalented etc etc

[sopebubbles]

Hi darling, I read what you posted about your health and the future of Lone Wolf. I'm not here to tell you to write another chapter or anything, I actually want to share something with you that helped me a lot during a time when I was feeling bad physically in a general way.

Based on personal experience, I highly recommend you to stop eating gluten. Whether your health is being tarnished by it or not, it can hugely impact your lifestyle by leaving it out of your diet. It could also help the medications you are taking to make an even bigger effect on your body.

I don't want to brag about me, but I deem it important to share my experience with you and hopefully it can help you start improving your health.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I started to notice a regression on my period. I also began feeling nauseous and with high migraines that would make me lay in bed unwillingly. I had to take homeopathy to force my uterus to help me menstruate but once I finished the bottle of medicine, my period would be gone too. The headaches and nausea didn't disappear, at all.

It wasn't until August of this year that my mum, (may she be blessed) told me to stop eating anything with high amounts of gluten, like bread, cake and pasta. Darling, I guarantee you that that Saturday was the first day in three years since I felt "normal" again.

I haven't eaten gluten since then and I have felt way better than months ago.

Sorry for rambling but it pains me to hear you that you are suffering, specially with your health.

This is my case, I am not assuming yours is the same as mine but I highly recommend you to try.

I have found multiple products that are gluten free and are not that expensive as I thought they were.

I discovered my gluten intolerance after three years of feeling like absolute shit. I only hope this can help you, I usually don't share this with anyone as I don't like reminiscing those months when I tired, sleepy, nothing was appetizing to me, my hormones were all over the place. I wasn't living, I was merely surviving.

Take care, and I really wish you would give it a try. You have a beautiful soul and an incredible mind full of amazing stories and plots that need to be known You have a lot to experience and many things yet to see. You have a gift with words and I can tell you have a really big heart.

I wish you the best and I apologise if this was tedious to read. I only wanted to give you a piece of advice and remember we, as ARMY support each other. We are not just a fandom, we are family of the purple blood.

May you have a blessed day and your health may be restored as soon as possible :)

~Rosie 💜

Hi Rosie! Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I'm sure you are probably right about the gluten thing, but it's one of those things i simply cant resign myself to. I have a hard enough time with food, the idea of cutting out wheat products when I dont like the taste of alternatives just makes me want to cry. Doesnt seem like a life worth living if theres no bread in it.

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this. Im low key really bad at taking unsolicited advice. Im an aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon, so i just cant stand it. But i know you meant well and i appreciate your care. Hope you have a great day 💜

[p1xiemeat]

you shouldn't be smoking when you have a child. depending of the degree in which you allow yourself to, that's bad parenting to put it bluntly, and if your unwilling to drop habits you shouldn't have kids.

first of all, its not bad parenting to smoke in general. i smoke for multiple medical reasons. and i dont even smoke that much because i don't want to be high most of the time. i just need to function. its not a "habit" its something i do because i can't eat without getting nauseous, and i have a debilitating stomach condition so i use marijuana for stomach pain instead of taking painkillers for the rest of my life. i had a medical marijuana card but i didnt renew it because i grow my own weed now. i'm not addicted to weed. i have never had a problem quitting it before. i rarely ever smoke recreationally unless its a social setting or special occasion. weed is medicinal for me.

and you sound like such an ignorant douche bag sending this kind of shit to someone you don't even know, talking about children that aren't even yours and are none of your business.

also, every single human being has some sort of bad habit or something they need to work on. you don't need to be a perfect person to have children or there wouldn't be a human population😹 nobody is perfect. and smoking weed doesn't make you a bad person. just like drinking once in a while doesn't make u a bad person if you do it responsibly.

every parent has bad habits. but my smoking weed isn't a bad habit. its a choice between being a functional person or someone who is in constant pain and throwing up 24/7. OR being on pain killers all the time. i wouldn't be able to do much at all for my kids if i couldn't function.

i don't owe you an explanation for MY life and my decisions but ur anon is so ignorant and so far from the truth that its actually pathetic. 😹 u don't get to decide if someone should be a parent or not. i highly doubt u even have children. and if you do, then you should worry about your own kids instead of MY personal life. i don't need parenting advice or life advice. i'm a damn good mom.

my smoking doesn't have anything to do with my kids. i don't smoke around them. it doesn't affect them at all. if i didn't smoke they would be affected negatively by the health problems i'll have for the rest of my life.

and if a mom chooses to smoke recreationally, that doesn't make her a bad mom either. nobody bats an eye if a mom drinks wine or ppl drink a beer in their free time. so why do ppl make dumb comments like this about weed? alcohol is so much more harmful than marijuana and doesn't even have the many benefits that smoking provides to ppl like me and others who use it for medicinal purposes.

educate yourself and stop giving out unsolicited parenting advice because you sound like a dick. "to put it bluntly" and this topic isn't even about being a parent. its a personal choice. 🖕🏻

[skadream]

Rudy's Book Reviews: You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

yeah thats right im gonna be a phannie on main for a second. this is the start of my book review series which i hope to actually folow through with lol. this one ive been listening to as an audiobook but i do have the physical copy as well cuz im like that! next review will hopefully be gideon the ninth so tune in for that, but for now, read this review under the cut:

this book is a practical mental health guide, honestly a lot of it is stuff that you can learn in therapy so like if you have a therapist that you like then maybe its not worth it BUT theres like slim pickins for mental health books that arent just anecdotal evidence without actually talking about what people did to help them get better, just "yea i was sad but then i got therapy ✌️" or books that are so couched in psychiatric jargon its hard for a layperson to get into OR just vaguely inspiring bullshit.

its all written with the help of an actual licensed psychologist person, so no bullshit, no just do yoga and drink water shit (although obviously exercise and hydration and physical health are talked about) and yes he mentions medication and LICENSED therapy if those end up being necessary steps to take with your mental health!!! which again, in the world of self help type books, tends to be rare advice which is DEPRESSING IN A DIFFERENT WAY LMAO.

ofc it should go without saying that a book can never be a replacement for therapy but Considering How The World Is, this book is good for like maybe stepping into learning some coping skills as well as figuring out a plan before, during, and after crisis mode. i would say the tone is more serious than humorous but dan puts a lot of his own natural snarky sarcasm stink all over this book which obv that can be a taste thing if youre not into brit sarcasm mode but as a One Of Those i like it lol

in terms of Dan And Phil™️-isms, theres a sprinkling of cute winks and nods and inside jokes that people who drew sharpie cat whiskers on their faces as teens would understand but Normies will not find to be out of place or anything, there's also some storytimes of like his previous tours or living as a dropout youtuber being stress-inducing and things like that but not a ton which i kinda prefer cuz it makes it easier for me to recommend this book to people who dont give a shit about Phandom Memes

theres an introduction which is kind of a short summary of who dan is, basically just summarizing his youtube videos talking about depression and when he came out as queer and all that fun stuff, if youre a psycho hardcore fan person like me you might find it to be a long and unnecessary read, but if youre someone who didnt know about this guy and are curious as to why he would even write a book like this its a pretty good synopsis.

the american cover has dan's stupid face on it, and as someone who is a big fan of dan's stupid beautiful face, i wish we had the EU version with like tasteful yellow stripes on it bc it looks so nice, but i mean i just keep it on my bookshelf with the spine showing which is just a nice yellow spine with the title and looks unassuming so its not THAT big a deal lmaoo.

in terms of the audiobook, dan's voice is quite soothing and there's all these like audio cues and fitting music which i really like. the only downside is, for example, he reads out this timed breathing exercise that is meant to be like a five minute exercise, but it's not actually timed? so like i want to do the breathing exercises along with him reading it out but he reads it so fast its kinda like bro slow down you said breathe in for five seconds why you going ahead two seconds later homie. thats my only criticism i think obv if you are reading it and not listening you can just do the exercises by timing yourself lol.

ummmm idk if im gonna give a number at the end of these reviews!!! i give this book a big thumbs up!! 👍 woohoo yeah baby i am very proud of dan's current life journey thing that he's going on and i think this is a great book for people who need help which is everyone alive today right now :)

[domreader-headcannon-scenarios]

I will never understand abusers. I was talking with my friend and she told me that her dad's father (her granddad) was so against his and her mom's relationship he literally punched her for standing up for her dad. He passed before she was born but the stuff he did to her parents were just god awful.

I have a special kind of hatred towards abusive/toxic people (which is why I snap/go rapid when I see it in media or people) like I was unlucky and have a physically and mentally abusive father and my mom is emotionally manipulative and very neglectful.

I live with my father still in my grandmothers house (she literally knows all the shit he’s done and refuses to do/say anything and always defends my father and everytime I ‘try’ to argue back they essentially threaten to throw me on the streets for acting like a crazy bitch ‘just like your mother’)

It’s just fucking disgusting and horrible that it’s 2022 (almost 2023) and this shit is still so common??? Like literally emotional abuse isn’t something you can be arrested for and going to authorities is significantly more dangerous since THEY DONT FUCKING PROTECT YOU. Like my dad was horrible to my mom (he straight up was an alcoholic and a drug addict who refused to work and he constantly threatened to hurt/kill me or my brother if our mother didn’t fucking do whatever he wanted)

My mom, went to the fucking police over this. Their advice? “Just move, it’s not that hard.” They basically wouldn’t help until we had solid evidence or one of us was badly hurt. My mom got better with us (she was only aggressive towards us since our father targed her the most, but once she left he targeted me) and left us with our father, thinking she was the problem.

Obviously, that didn’t help. And she divorced our father, which was really bloody and it’s been over 7 years and my dad still threatens her (and us) and we’ve gone to the police, and we’re told the only way they’d do anything is if we press charges.

Why the fuck would we press charges if THEY WON’T PROTECT US DURING THE PROCESS??? Our father is a hunter with a fuck ton of guns, bows & arrows, and UNMARKED GUNS.

We are not going to do anything to worsen the situation obviously, but since if WE leave, he’d hurt or grandmother, she REFUSES to leave or kick him out, even though it’s HER house. My mom is my grandmas daughter. My grandma on my dads side has been missing for over 2 years. He keeps saying he has her in a retirement home, but he won’t tell us and he just came home with her dog one day and gave it to his new girlfriend…

Sorry to just vent but my family is a fucking disaster, and I feel bad when I snap at people for doing similar thinks bc for lack of better words…it ‘triggers’ me I guess and I end up lashing out and having issues controlling my emotions.

(Only upside is I joke about my trauma all the time and it might be alarming to others it’s lowkey amusing for me to just laugh it off than to ever try to confront it)

I should probably meantion I was going to therapy when I was 10-20 and it just…didn’t work, I’m on a lot of medication that kinda helps and my brother wants me to get a therapist but honestly I’m not sure it’ll do anything. I’ve been through 5 therapist and honestly I think I stress them more than they help me.

I feel bad for your friends parents though, that’s just so bad…at least, it sounds like their parents do actually care for each other, and I’m sorry your father was hit, I’m genuinely surprised he stood up to his dad, I would be way too scared.

Your friends dad is hella fucking brave and I’m happy to know he at least ended up having a nice family of his own. He deserves to be happy!

[chaotic-dumbass-witch]

okay so. gonna stop vagueposting abt medical "professionals" for a second to ask for advice from my fellow chronically ill and disabled ppl out here

so i saw a neurologist the other day. the whole time i felt really dismissed, the usual medical gaslighting thing, etc etc. my GP send me to this cishet white slavic old man - neuro - ordering an emg. dude said emg came back normal, i dont have carpal tunnel, no abnormalities at all. hes happy abt it and immediately writes off all my neuro concerns to me having hEDS as soon as i mention i have that, bc he asked if i have any known conditions.

im happy w the emg testing, the tech was super nice, super patient, etc etc, whatever, glad it came back normal

the issue is, the actual neuro.

i told him im concerned about pain, bc ive had some absolutely horrible shooting, stabbing, electric shock type pains all over my limbs for years, as well as in my back for YEARS, and the pain at worst has me unable to breathe and occasionally pass out. at best, i have to do some breathing exercises to be able to move on w my day, at least until it inevitably hits again

i told him how ever since i was a child, literally 5 years old, whenever something even brushed my wrists i would scream, cry, sob, wheatver, just absolutely lose my shit from pain. even a light breeze, even loose clothes fabric. and this never really stopped. i had a hard time breathing, couldnt function, focus, do anything really, all bc of pain level. i couldnt even have my wrists on a desk bc it would set the pain off, and the pain would make me horribly nauseaous too

i told him about the horrible migraines i experience, the whole "this is a 9/10 on pain for me 99% of the time", cant eat cant sleep cant walk cant do anything cant open my eyes, nausea to hell, etc etc, AND he said "well you dont have double vision so youre fine" even when i told him about the whole "yeah my kaleidoscope vision is so bad that i cant really do much" before the pain hits

i told him about my balance issues - sometimes ill be walking around out and about, and suddenly i get a crash of the whole room is spinning, slight double vision, need to sit down immediately or get on the floor, having a hard time telling whats floor and whats not if im standing up, etc

for both of these issues, the dr was like, oh yeah well 1 is because of your hEDS and scoliosis (which is 6 DEGREES, and does NOT cause that much fucking pain), and 2 is bc of hEDS again, and so is 3 bc its normal for heds ppl to get migraines and he doesnt want to look into it. he completely ignored me when i mentioned 4, and refused to even let me speak any more of it. he literally just kept shushing me and cutting me off and just told me theres nothing wrong w me.

the question. anyone have any ideas? im gonna try to get a second opinion from a female dr bc ime theyre less dismissive about shit, i dont need a second emg i just want a neuro to actually listen to me and either 1) tell me whats wrong w me, 2) refer me to a different specialist, 3) send me for every test known to man, or 4) suck it up and admit they dont know. but like. in terms of what the fuck is going on, any clues? if i have to walk into my GPs office in a few weeks and literally fucking bawl my eyes out and beg her to send me to a specialist i will fucking do it. none of this feels like hEDS, call it a gut feeling. none of this is scoliosis and i know that for absolute shit sure

edit:

i also periodically losing feeling in my fucking hands. neuro brushed it off cause "well its not paralysis, so youre fine". blood circulation is fantastic though

[aspd-culture]

is it worth it to look into aspd diagnosis? or treatment? ive been questioning it a lot, considering the only person ive ever related to properly about mindset shit has dxed aspd and is convinced i have it. but does diagnosis/treatment really help much? (my roomate currently isnt in therapy, idk if the blog admin is but if anyone reading is maybe they could weigh in?) is it actually worth the hassle and label to get dxed if im pretty good at forcing myself to do shit and act "appropriately" anyway? theres shit other people in my life consider genuine issues, but i dont care myself for it or how they feel about it so itd be a big show in and of itself just making myself get in to see someone. if its not going to do anything for someone treatment resistance id rather just keep on how im going instead.

Oof, tough question. As a disclaimer, I am not a professional and I cannot give medical advice. The following is not in any way an attempt to sway your medical decisions, nor an attempt to discourage anyone from getting help.

I am personally professionally diagnosed and actively in therapy once a week, where I openly discuss my symptoms of ASPD with both my therapist and my psychiatrist.

First off, I definitely think that if someone with ASPD is advising you to look into it, that it is at least worth privately researching. That goes double if you find yourself relating heavily to them in ways you do not relate to prosocials (people without ASPD). Whether or not you have it, and whether or not you decide to seek a diagnosis and/or treatment, understanding this disorder and yourself better are never bad things. If you choose not to seek treatment at this time, knowing what you have or think you have (after a lot of research from many sources!) can lead you to developing safe and healthy coping mechanisms that can avoid you and your loved ones ending up negatively affected by your symptoms.

The question of if it's worth getting diagnosed is a tough one, and again I need to stress this is not medical advice, it is just my opinion. ASPD is a heavily stigmatized and misunderstood diagnosis. If you do not know your providers well, you could end up getting yourself into a situation where a doctor with stigma against ASPD may push you towards emergency treatment that you do not require. They shouldn't, and it's not legal for them to let their bias get in the way of their patients' lives, but it does happen.

If you are going to pursue diagnosis, I strongly advise taking it slowly and only doing so once you have built a strong relationship with your therapist. Mentioning your roommate's diagnosis without in any way implying you relate to their symptoms is a great way to slowly see how they feel about ASPD and make sure you are not entering yourself into an unsafe situation where they may abuse their power.

That said, even if you have a good provider, there are other repercussions to having a diagnosis to think about. The likelihood of adopting children is very low. The likelihood of being able to work in certain fields may be slim to none depending on your area's specific laws about private medical information. In some places, some jobs are allowed to require a full mental health workup from you including your diagnoses. Many of these jobs will not hire someone with ASPD. This is unlikely to affect you at a desk job, but very likely to affect you if you want to work in any caregiving position, or even around animals.

Additionally, if you are ever a defendant in court for any reason, the cards are considerably stacked against you if you are diagnosed with ASPD, even if you did not do anything wrong. The assumption is likely to be that you are guilty and/or a flight risk.

This is definitely not a diagnosis that, in the current state of the world, you want to be open about at work, with landlords, etc. There is little to no social accommodations for ASPD anyway, so keep this diagnosis on a need to know basis if you get it, for your own safety.

Because of all of this, if you are currently able to control your symptoms, you may want to consider if it is worth pursuing diagnosis.

That said, you do not need a dx to get help with symptoms. I honestly think everyone with the privilege to do so should try therapy unless they have particular reasons not to. It has been seriously helpful in my life, as someone with reasonably good control over my symptoms, because it lets me deal with the PTSD that caused the ASPD, and if I really get bothered by a symptom, or someone in my life does and I have nothing else to talk about, it's a safe place to get into that too.

No one ever said you have to tell your therapist everything. It's best to most times, because they are bound by confidentiality, but if you want to go there and only talk about specific things and never bother mentioning certain symptoms, that is an option. In fact, there are many therapists who prefer to work on symptoms directly as opposed to labeling things with diagnoses.

I personally found value in getting diagnosed, even weighed against the risks, because I needed to know what exactly was going on with me and have that confirmed by a professional. If you don't find value in that, there are therapists that agree with you.

Many therapists will have you make goals for therapy, but you can even walk into your intake with those goals and your philosophy on how you want to be helped and find out from day one if that therapist and you are a match in that regard. I would advise anyone looking into therapy to do their own research and find a therapist with good reviews and preferably who deals in the type of therapy you're interested in. I would say that anyone with trauma would likely have better experiences if they only work with trauma/PTSD specialized therapists, as to avoid a lack of trauma informed care.

At the end of the day it's your decision, but I found it can really help the balancing act of pretending to be normal if you have someone who is paid good money to let you unmask, talk openly about your symptoms and feelings on others, and get some advice that might make the whole controlling your symptoms thing easier in ways you didn't expect or think of.

Personally, I think the only way therapy would not help you is if the therapist you talk to is a bad match - and that's coming from someone who swore for many years that I would never go to therapy, and then when I tried it and got a bad match, gave up on it for a year. I'm glad I went back.

[disengaged]

i'm not entirely sure how to put this into words, but do you think that, to identify as trans, you have to have "enough" gender dysphoria, like you have to check off a certain amount of symptoms to qualify as trans? i've just been thinking a lot and, while i don't quite feel a sense of wrongness in myself, i don't feel rightness either and i just wish i were different altogether, but i don't know what that means to me. i've definitely had thoughts of being the opposite sex and wishing i had certain qualities of theirs, but it's difficult to tell if it's just insecurities or actual dysphoria that i'm feeling. i'm sorry if this sounds rude or anything, i was just hoping you could help make some sense of these thoughts. hope you have a nice day!

i appreciate that you've worded it this way instead of just saying "are u truscum 🤨" but alas, it's essentially the same question

& my answer is ..... uh .....?? while i don't think medical transition should be considered necessary (or feasible, or desired) for everyone, i do kinda fundamentally believe you need some kind of gender dysphoria to be trans (bc that is. the entire premise of the thing. base requirement. like how else would you know. yknow.) but that could be socially, physically, whatever.

worth noting: i think the DSM-5 is a load of shit, and i don't believe in a formal """"checklist"""" of Trans Symptoms. i categorically reject the pathologization of my existence haha uwu

i guess my advice to you would be this: think hard about it. read books. go attend a queer group or something. im definitely not the "AHHHH DONT CALL YOURSELF TRANS WHAT IF YOU REGRET IT!!!!!" type of guy (??? you can call yourself whatever you want at any time and no one can stop you), but .... there is power in assigning a label to yourself, and i'd advise you to think deeply about whether that label is right for you.

i say this because the phrase "i just wish i were different altogether" .......... kinda makes me feel like you may have more feelings abt yourself than just your sex/gender/gender presentation, and it'd probably be beneficial to examine those. yknow, see what underlying or concomitant issues you've got going on. it might help clear the muddy waters a bit.

is the desire to be perceived as something other than your AGAB the main source of your discomfort, or is it something else? do you envy those certain qualities of the 'opposite sex' (problematic term alert) because they're qualities of the gender you wish you were, because you're attracted to them, or because they're attractive features & you wish you were more attractive? i can't answer those questions for you.

if all you've got is an abstract feeling of dysphoria, there could be a vast number of causes for that. it could be gender dysphoria, or it could be something else (insecurity about appearance, insecurity in life, being depressed, lack of stable identity, just plain hating gender roles and social norms bc they suck, etc).

so yknow. i can't tell you if you're trans or not. no one can. your mom can't, your doctor can't, your psychologist can't, your best friend can't. there's no single, agreed-upon checklist to be trans. plenty of cis folks are GNC without being trans, and plenty of trans people present as/similar to their AGAB without being cis. i could try to describe what gender dysphoria feels like to me, but it could feel completely different to someone else, i have no idea. it's not something that can be measured on a physical scale.

tldr; it's up to you if you want to call yourself trans or not. you might be, or you might not be. only you can figure that out for yourself.

(aka the least helpful advice ever tee hee)

[iatrophilosophos]

I Dislike that post about psychosis & mysterious disappearances for reasons I can't totally articulate so here

Psychotic breaks can happen to virtually anybody, *and*

We don't have to treat them as a constant threat of disaster (yes, even if we're psychotic ourselves or have a family history) & can Do Stuff to reduce their impacts

Some stuff you should consider doing right now/this week/this month if you are afraid of having a psychotic break, or just do in general bc it's good shit to have in your back pocket:

US specific: Create a locally-appropriate psychiatric advanced directive. This is a document that specifies your wishes in the event you are deemed unfit to make your own medical decisions. Laws are woefully inconsistent and these directives *may not* be legally binding; so it may be up to the discretion of a provider to actually follow it; but it's still better than nothing. You can specify in your advance directive things like treatments you do and dont consent to (i would be specific and intentional here; stipulating that you dont consent to a specific class of medication e.g. SSRIs is more likely to be honored than No Medication); people to contact; people (like a parent) who you do NOT want to be involved in or privy to your treatment. Heres a page with resources and directions by state. You may need to get this document notarized.

US specific: assign a healthcare proxy. This is a legally-binding document that specifies who is allowed to make medical decisions on your behalf. By default, your healthcare proxy is your closest living next of kin. Even if you get along with your parents, siblings or kids; they may not actually be the people you want making decisions for you for Any number of reasons. Discuss the idea with whoever you'd like you be your proxy! Laws vary by state and you will likely need to get this document notarized.

Create an informal advance directive with friends and loved ones. This is just for yall and can include shit like not calling the cops, trying to resist EMS or hospitalization, what you want people to do to support you if you DO get hospitalized, and anything else. If you have experienced psychotic breaks in the past, this is a good place to put any advice or requests for your loved ones. It's a good idea to do this as part of a discussion and invite the people you're making this plan with to ask your consent about stuff they think they might try to do to help. It's also a good idea to have a few of these for different people/situations: your advance directive with a roommate you're not that close to might just be "call xyz instead of the cops".

Self-reflect. What are you *worried* would happen during a psychotic break? What commitments can you make to yourself & plans can you make with other people to control for it? A good friend once told me "I really want to try MDMA because i think it would be good for me, but I'm worried it would trigger a genetic disposition to mania and I'd go out for days and forget my kids". My advice to her was "hire a babysitter who knows what's up and get a friend to hang before you try it". It worked out great--she had a nice time AND got to experience the bodymind state she was terrified of, get some practice functioning within it, and proved to herself that her commitment to taking care of her children is a choice she makes out of her own free will that she is free to *continue* making regardless of how nuts she is.

To the point above: practice being nuts. Let yourself explore the states you're afraid of and learn how to cope, communicate and function while crazy. Psychotic breaks are scary because they're alienating and novel. Set yourself up to communicate even when you don't experience the same reality with someone via your informal advance directive; and don't let psychosis become the big bad scary monster. Stay up all night, believe weird shit for fun, switch up your routine, go put yourself in new and unfamiliar environments. Do drugs if you wanna! Have weird, potentially bad experiences with a friend and aftercare and learn that you have free will regardless of the familiarity or comfort of your surroundings while you've got a safety net.

Have an aversion plan. This is what you do if you start feeling out of your depth. It can be behavioral, social etc--stay home and sleep, have someone come sit with you, eat a big nutritious meal--any activity or situation that you think will help keep you safe/help you avoid the scariest or most dangerous facets of what you think a psychotic break could mean for your life.

None of this is a surefire way to *not* have a psychotic break or even to have one be completely free of undesirable results. But they are real, tangible steps that help a lot more than being terrified of ever getting 2nd hand weed smoke or living in fear that some day everything you know/are might just disintegrate.

Advance directive resource link 1 more time bc Tumblr hates actually inserting my links in posts:

[omgtheregoesthefuckidontgive]

Pretending this is a text to my siblings cuz I would never actually send this but I need it out my head.

Yall aren't here at home, like I knew you wouldn't be. You guys keep saying you guys have your own problems and worries. One of you is a fucking bum to your other family and said you'd never interact with us when mum dies, the other is always crying about her own pain and illness. Granted understandable, but also you're denying the correct medication and for what?! For whhaaattt what are you trying to prove by making your life miserable right now?! You guys still get to go out, go yo work, clean not clean yall get to live your livveeessssss. Like sorry woe is me and all but I can't step out the house without feeling the guilt of a thousand sinners. Like I wanted to do so many things cuz I'm like whelp I'm gonna now die at 25 so imma bang shit out but you know what I don't even think I can cuz now I feel guilty every time I have a good time. And you guys don't have to feel that guilt, cuz you're not here you're not the one leaving her alone every fucking time. I buy myself a new dress. Guilt. I gey food outside of home. Guilt. I SIMPLY FUCKING WALK OR WORK OUT?! YOU GUESSED IT GUILT! it's like my whole life is a crime. Oh this is why you should leave. Live life for yourself. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING HEARTLESS ASSHOLE TO UOU THINK I AM. when mum dies and dad then what. Oh you weren't there. Why didn't you do anything WHY DIDN'T YOU GET A BETTER JOB. BRO HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A 9 TO FUCKING 5 WHEN I ARRIVED HOME AT 3 PM TO FIND A HALF DEAD MOTHER AND HAD TO RUSH TO A&E DO YOU KNOW THE TYPE OF FESR ID FEEL ALL DAY. NO YOU DONT. BECAUSE WITH YOU LOT OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND. I'm just saying. No matter how much you say I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're not the one seeing our mother die every day. I am. And I need better advice than move out. Cuz if I leave. Where does that leave my dad. Alone? Dealing with this alone? Where does this leave my mum? With a healthcare who potentially won't understand her? Who won't take her pain seriously?? Idk jesus sometimes I just think things would go better if we all just had a family dinner and then never woke up.

[flobuloes]

from a person who doesn't know how to sleep:

I read today that if you have a hard time sleeping/suffer from insomnia, you should never do anything else but sleeping in your bed. no being on the phone, no watching tv, no doing homework, no making calls, etc. Literally just sleeping.

And I guess it makes sense, because then your brain associates you being in bed with only one thing: sleep.

And, as good as this sounds, I'm trying to do this for the first time today and I already hate it. I am not allowed to enter my bed unless it is with the intention to go to sleep. Meaning, I go to bed when I feel tired.

Problem: I never really do feel tired. Okay, it sounds unbelievable when written out. BUT. I don't. Every night, I lie in bed on my phone until asscrack o'clock, and at some point I pass out. In the mornings, I rarely remember when I fell asleep. (I really do just "pass out". One moment I'm wide awake, the next I'm dead asleep.)

I literally forgot how to go to sleep.

[that-one-weeb-but-it-transformer]

Can you do tfp ratchet bulkhead and Starscream human s/o with POTS(or just a chronic illness if that is to specific)crying because they’re tired of family and doctors telling what is and isn’t wrong with their body and giving them unhelpful advice.

I’m sorry if this is too much but I’m going through this right now and I really just need some comfort. It’s cool if you don’t feel like doing this one though.

The Bots with a S/0 that has POTS

Notes: I'd love to do it for you! And homie if you ever need a hug. I got you. I can understand how difficult things like this can be so if you ever just wanna talk even if its a hello how are you. I'd be happy to talk to you. Also have a hard time writing Starscream I never know why

Characters: Bulkhead, Ratchet, Starscream

⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶

⊷⊶⊷⊶Bulkhead⊷⊶⊷⊶

Doesnt exactly understand POTS no matter how much you explain it to him

He knows though, if you go up. Theres a possibly of you going down hard

He's a sweet soul so he's always asking how your day was

And some days. Its just bad

Some days when he picks you up he can already hear the arguing before you even get out the house

"Take your meds!"

"They don't work!"

"Be reasonable Y/n!"

"They don't work!"

Bulkhead even knows they dont work. And you're brusing easier.

So what does he do to try and cheer you up?

"Hey why don't me make your bruisies into drawings! Miko does that with my battle scars!"

It makes you feel happy that someones actually trying to make you feel better

He acts like you dont even have anything wrong with you

Well he accomidates the best he can. Like sticking his foot out when you start to fall over to atleast catch yourself on something

Miko recommended him they should tucktape pillows to his peds

You called him crying just wanting him to pick you up after a mentally abusing day

You're doctors are trying to put you on a Home IV and you heard your parents talk about simply just admitting you to the hopsital

Bulkhead gladly picked you up and you dont wanna talk about it

Okay thats fine

"Oh! Miko picked up your favorite! Its in my glove box!"

Chinese hot dog buns with a bottle of water. Full of salt. And a great comfort food for you

Two in one

Especially when you've been crying alot

"Are you gonna stop being friends with me if my family puts me in the hospital?"

"What? Why would you think that?"

"People dont like being friends with problem people..."

"Ah! That's a bunch of scrap." He defended, "You're awesome!"

He's text book defenition of emotional support

He checks up on you regularly as you often take naps

Knows your whole medication list by the dinosaur stickers you label them with and your whole when you gotta take what

He helps you decorate your medicane bottles, makes them less intimidating some times

You actually draw little deerpy bulkheads on your medicane caps now

When you have to go get refills he'll drive you and the pharmacist thinks the bottle Decor is cute

Calls you a good influence to the little kids who get scared of medication

Its all thanks to Bulkhead really: he's there for you

⊷⊷⊶⊷Ratchet⊶⊷⊶⊷

Actually

He had to find out himself, or more of force it out of you.

All the brusies and the suddenly going pale. He knows your secretly taking pills too

He doesnt exactly know what your doing

But he knows you're hiding something

"What are you taking?"

"What? Nothing." Y/n spoke dry swallowing the pills as quick as Y/n could, no one had to know.

"What are you taking."

"Nothing Ratchet."

"Y/n."

Y/n eyes rolled, "its medicane."

"Are you sick?"

Y/n looked at him and nodded shortly, "in a way yeah"

And thats how he learns about you having POTS

He ask how your doing physically and not much about you mentally

He tends to stay away from connection in general due to the past but with you he wants to be invested but doesn't completely at the same time.

But once you call him real late at night crying he's emotionally invested.

He's a doctor yeah but knows squat shit about human bodies, so it's more of you see Ratchet as a "friend" (yeah right your invested) than a doctor

"They wanna put me on a home iv." Y/n told him, all curled up in his passenger seat, "I already know it won't work. I've tried it before."

"Perhaps diffrent Medication?" Ratchet suggested.

Y/n shrugged, "I...I'm tired of med's Ratchet."

"I know." He spoke, "Are they giving you any other options?"

"Service Animal. More Meds or an IV." Y/n told him, "Dad just wants to leave me at a hospital."

Ratchet's in silence, he sitting in thought, "Perhaps that's for the best. Perhaps not a hospital. But to leave."

"You mean like take a break from my family?" Y/n questioned, "I guess..."

So Ratchet let you room with him for a few days.

Its kept secret.

You're very happy that you're not as bad as you usually are. And was happy to see Stress was making your dizzy spells worse and more frequent.

Luckily you're relaxed with Ratchet and he asked genuine questions about what your illness truly is

So he makes sure you eat, drink lots of water, always keeps tabs on you.

And to enforce you eating and drinking, he forces himselves to take scheduled breaks

Those forced breaks allow both of you to relax and even allow Ratchet to work better.

But sometimes you still gotta just like lay down.

Even if its on his work space.

"Are you alright?"

"Just a bad one is all."

And he leaves it at that. Sure he still watches over you but he's not gonna baby you

Not over something he knows you have in control

But occasionally he does become helicopter mom

⊷⊶⊷Starscream⊷⊶⊷

Could absolutely careless to be honest

The veichons probally cared more about you than anything

That was in the beginning of course

Until he realized alot of the veichons started taking random ass breaks with you

Litterally sat in the hallway with you while you're tryin to even out

High altitude on the nemsis especially if your on the dock makes it worse

He teases you about it: saying fleshies are scared of height

But like no bro. Your about to litterally pass out

Thanks Breakdown for atleast be like "ayo. She's litterally dieing."

He finally sees this is a bit more than a height issue

No shit

He finally starts taking notice seeing you napping alot in Knockouts medbay

"Great. A screamer and a neglecting mech is in the medbay." Breakdown grumbled.

"Ignore him," Knockout spoke waving off Starscream.

"Excuse me-"

He's basically ignored by the others.

Breakdowns basically your big brother and Starscream being neglectful of Y/n's health does not make him happy

Starscream finally comes around to ask you what the hell is actually happening.

But it turns into and arguement: you dont wanna tell him, and you're tryin to just keep tears back from before he picked you up w/ a ground bridge

"Doesn't matter."

"It quiet obviously does if you're little medbay group is all over it."

"Oh please." Y/n grumbled the stopped, Y/n feeling Rocky, "shit..."

Y/n immediately takes a seat, right there in the middle of the hall.

"Becoming Dizzy?" A passing Veichon spoke.

"Yep."

Food was tossed a packet and a bottle of water by the veichon, both being terribly thrown Y/n's way.

"Thanks." Y/n spoke leaning over to grab the bag and water then looked up at Starscream and sighed, "I have POTS."

"You have what?"

So there you are explaining it to him

He's upset you didnt explain it to him sooner.

You shrugged as you ate the pretzels

No he's like genuinely upset

He's been watching over you this long and just now knows about this

How does he even research POTS? He did search it up but he just got pots you cool with

Soundwave helps, in the side research

Though he doesnt have much space to store you snacks, he knows the medbay has snacks for you

He also knows that you're most comfortable in the medbay as you're often sleeping more than 1/2 the day

So. He's often visiting the medbay even more than usual now

Even if your sleeping alot more and he doesn't get to talk to you as Much as he wants to, your health is more important

Keeps you away from the flight deck

Because if you suddenly get dizzy and tip the wrong way well.

He doesnt need a spark attack

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

hello. i don't know where to ask this so maybe you can give me ideas. i been feeling like i'm stuck in this black hole and i can't see myself out of it. i'm constantly tired from work, the minute im done i want to sleep. i dont have time for myself. i dont like myself right now. my mental and physical health are shit. i desperately want to change that but idk how? i feel like maybe working out would make me feel better but i dont have the energy... i barely have energy typing this out. these days im just extremely exhausted and it might be the depression im guessing. its getting worse. ppl keep hitting me up asking if im ok but im too exhausted to answer or care to. i dont feel like anyone understands me even if i did explain how i crave looking for something new to fixate over so i dont feel as empty as i do now 😞 i feel like im not even me.

honey, you just typed out "i have severe depression" but with more steps.

everything you just said is classic signs of depression. all of it. now, it's certainly possible that there's some other disorder going on here that's causing depression along with the fatigue, seeing as how "fatigue and depression" are symptoms of all sorts of illnesses - such as chronic fatigue syndrome and hypothyroidism. but if you're not having other noticeable physical symptoms, we're going to set aside that possibility for now.

depression absolutely causes serious exhaustion, it causes you to feel isolated and like people don't like or love you, even if you intellectually know they do, it makes you feel bored and restless as you're unable to focus or find enjoyment in the things you used to love doing, it makes you abandon all your old interests to just lie in bed every minute you possibly can, it makes you hate yourself because you don't want to live like this, why can't you just fucking get up you useless shit, and maybe you wouldn't actually kill yourself but wouldn't it just be such a relief if you didn't have to be alive anymore?

yeah, that's depression.

depression also does its damnedest to convince you that no one could ever possibly understand, no one wants to hear about your stupid problems, people would laugh at you if you told them because you don't have any good reason to be depressed, it would be a catastrophic disaster if you told people how you feel.

depression lies.

you have a real, serious problem caused by a real disorder in your brain chemistry, and it's not your fault that you feel like this. you are not exhausted and miserable because of anything you've done wrong, or anything you haven't done that you 'should' have. and, maybe the most important thing i can say to you: you can't fix this by just trying harder.

a person with a broken leg can't 'try harder' to walk normally, right? they need medical attention and outside support to heal back to a place where they can function normally. you have a metaphorical broken bone in your brain, and it is completely natural and okay that you need attention and support to recover.

since i don't know where you live or what level of medical care you have access to, i can't give you step-by-step instructions, but i genuinely believe that it's crucial for you to do everything you can to reach out to a mental health professional and ask for some help. i very strongly believe that you should consider trying antidepressants, even if you've tried them before and found that they didn't work, because it's quite common for someone to need to try different medications to find the right one.

there is no shame in taking medication. i take multiple medications, including an antidepressant. i would, quite frankly, take anything that pulls me out of the black hole and allows me to feel like me again, which is what the right antidepressant can do for you. it's not a miracle cure and it's not a sign of weakness, it's just a tool that helps you feel capable of living again.

i'm going to link you some of my tags here that will give you a lot more advice and guides on what to do next.

depression

therapy resources

going to therapy

mental illness resources

how to talk about it

i know this is a lot, but i hope it gives you a place to start, sweetie. this is really fucking difficult, but you can talk to someone and ask for help. there are people who care about you, no matter what your brain says, and they want you to have the help you need, they want you to not be miserable. even if they can't understand exactly what you feel, they care. don't listen to that lying bullshit in your brain, okay?

you are loved, and you deserve the help you need.