#this is my second essay of the semester
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I’m being so normal over FNAF I swear
#if I wasn’t so tired I would be vibrating#this is my second essay of the semester#I just got my grades back and he complained about me yapping to much#I fear what he’ll say about this one#because I can’t not yap about fnaf it’s fnaf#I’m still normal though#also to a certain someone#I AL NOT COMPARING CHARLIE EMILY TO JESUS CHRIST#I KNOW YOURE READING THIS#LEAVE ME ALONE
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I really really REALLY wanna talk about Coalecroux and its significance to both Kremy and Gideon’s character arcs (both separately and together, because their character arcs are actually really similar the more I think about it), and I started on the draft, but it’s a REALLY long ramble. Like, it’s about as long as my highschool English essays, and I’ve only talked about Gideon so far. It’s…really long, and I’d feel bad subjecting yall to my rambling (that’s essentially the equivalent of my highschool essays, bc I’m making points and providing evidence. I’m not even remotely kidding)
#tho now I wish I got into loa during my second semester of college#maybe I wouldn’t have flunked#tho let’s be honest it was kinda inevitable with my mental state at the time#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#kremy lecroux#gideon coal#coalecroux#I mean if yall wanna read my essay-like rambling I’ll post it once I finish it#I’m just warning yall…it’s a lot
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GUYS IM HAVING ANOTHER THREE DAY WEEKEND YAYYYYYYY 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💖💖💖💖💖
#I HATE SCHOOL 😍😍#my second semester starts next week tho#I just need to finish my important slideshow for my independent study <//3 *sobs*#<- bro I literally read a bunch of academic sociology papers for this class#<- + a 34 page apa annotated bibliography 😍😍😍#IM A FUCKING JUNIOR IM HIGHSCHOOL WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF 💔💔💔💔💔#luckily I don't need to add the figures/figure captions + appendix + abstract 🤭🤭🤭#but thats because my annotated bibliography is about the four units of my class and not an essay/study#my slideshow was supposed to be a recap of my class but i decided to turn it into what my final essay was *going* to be bc I was stressed#🥲🥲🥲#if you guys are curious about what it's all about I would actually genuinely love to talk about it on here#school#essays#*dies*
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"yellowjackets is like if the terror was with teenage girls" WRONG. those girls were just living their truth. all cannibals are teenage girls. ergo: every man in the terror is really a teenage girl. Thank you for coming to my ted talk
#every cannibal is a babygirl at heart#also lmao I can't believe I forgot for a hot second that francis crozier did eat a man but I always remember#(under duress sure but his babygirlification is complete)#also it's very funny to me that this show takes no shame in showing its inspirations and that the terror was def one of them#literally they both have a christ figure character who close to death begs for them to use their body for food when they die#anyway this is my manifesto#the terror#yellowjackets#someone wrote about this show for their final essay in film class this semester. kudos.
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Stayed up past midnight (usually sleep at 10) just to call dibs on the spring classes I wanted
#and i got them!#it was only 2 classes but 1 of them is english 101#so i wanted to snatch up a nice 11am full-term class#the other is exclusively online and it’s math for computer science#not technically required but it means one of the elective requirements and it’s applicable to my degree#i’m probably gonna regret taking a second class alongside english but it’s fiiiiiiiine#(english is simultaneously my strongest subject and my worst class)#(it’s the executive dysfunction paired with hyperlexia)#(i either finish the book in one sitting or i’m studying sparknotes before the test)#(research essays are hell on earth but i can write a damn good short story or poem)#(i have failed multiple english classes because i just burnout from the essays and the reading)#(but it’s my only english requirement so if i can just get through one semester then i can be done with it once and for all)
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Such a horrifying feeling to finish an assignment at 11:59, revel in your victory for a few minutes, close out of it to the Canvas homepage, and see tomorrow’s assignments already waiting for you on your to-do list because it’s past midnight
#🤓posting#soooo tired#rehearsal was so long today. it went well though#but I had to speedrun my essay that was due tonight and there was some stuff I didn’t get to include#I was already like 500 over the upper end of the word minimum though so lol#hopefully my prof doesn’t mind… he just said MORE THAN 1500-2500#so I figure 3000 is fine…. right 😅😅#anyway I had a second assignment due after and only like 10 mins before midnight#luckily it was easy and worth barely any points and I’ve had a 100% in that course all semester#but blehh#so sleepy#goodnight
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guess who has a final due tomorrow and has hardly started working on it hahahaha...
#friday chats#my brain just will not stay in focus mode long enough. am i screwed? perhaps#man what happened :(( last year i was whipping out 1000-word essays that earned me decent Bs in under five hours#on the day the essays were due.#this year i've failed to turn in two essays and have struggled to complete most of my homework. esp this second semester#(not in a difficulty way in a ''i get home and i can't bring myself to do jack shit'' way)#it's like. as soon as i leave school premises my focus and energy go whoosh#obviously i've heard adults talking about senior-itis since freshman year#but they always made it sound like a laziness ''i'm almost done so idc anymore'' way#what the fuck is this then. i'm just TIRED and MISERABLE. i want to be DONE so i can REST#(and even then once school's out i'll still have fuckin' COLLEGE STUFF TO SORT OUT)#banging my head on the desk when does it END
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I really need to curb my procrastination habits next semester...
It's gotten to the point that the deadlines are so close I'm calculating what the minimum grade I need to achieve is to keep my GPA above 3.0 and doing only the bare minimum
#next semester will undoubtedly have many more essays too bc ill be taking 3 english classes on top of a second language and 2 gen eds#so uh#gonna try working on that over the break by working on some personal projects and assigning my own deadlines#and when the syllabi for my classes are released next semester i might set assignment due dates a day or two earlier#just so im motivated to finish them a bit earlier#but seriously im literally at the point where im like#'alright if i just do these 2 questions for the final ill still pass this class & doing x in this other class is just enough to keep my 3.0'#amber's shit you can ignore
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Pls sir,, put me out of my misery, cut me off, this extension has been too far extended just tell me I'll pass with what I've got so far and end this TORTURE
#i appreciate my professor wants to accommodate but. sir. the academic year is over pls just call me out on my bs now#THE ACADEMIC YEAR IS OVER ND I AM STILL DOING HOMEWORK MAKE IT STOP THE EXTENSIONS ARE NO LONGER HELPING ME#i tried to set a cutoff date but then i didn’t meet it and was like. welp time to continue working#i see my psychologist in 5 days & i'm gonna have to admit that i didn't stick to the plan#i have to go to a wedding tomorrow 💀#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE LAST WEEKEND. TECHNICALLY SEVERAL WEEKENDS AGO BUT THE LAST AGREED UPON TIME WAS LAST WEEKEND#BUT MY TEACHER SAID IT WAS FLEXIBLE BY A FEW DAYS. THAT WAS A MISTAKE SIR#hope he enjoys my unfinished essays lol#pls god let me just pass#< says person who scored HDs on their first two semantics assignments & proceeded to falter at the essays#last year second semester I got HDs followed by a fail. making an overall pass. hhhhhhh and the hISTORY BOOK ON THE SHELF#IS ALWAYS REPEATING ITSELF#speaking of napoleonic history. time to read today's chapter of war and peace#hhhhhhhhhh#braindump
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YES I know I said I’m taking a little hiatus from writing on here to focus on finishing my original works, but I’m close to 3k and I kinda wanna do an event!!!!! Im not sure of what though so suggestions are welcomed!!!!!
#I would do a poll but I literally have no clue what to even list as an option lol#kinda wanna so short burst writings where it’s more self ship-y#if that makes sense#or like creating mood boards for people and their self ship#I don’t think I’d ever do a match up tho bc I’d give everyone their favs LOL#also I still haven’t even worked on my original story yet ajdhdjf#I’m gonna try tomorrow but then again I think I might just wait until the semester is over#I’m on my second to last week and my final projects are very long and dumb and unnecessary#so it’s hard being creative when I’m putting so much effort into STUPID SHIT#LIKE MAKING A PPT AND WRITING AN ESSAY ABOUT THE SAME SHIT#BUT I CANT USE THE SAME MATERIAL#so dumb bye I hate it#anyway pls give suggestions if you have any!!!#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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I'M FINALLY FREE. LET'S FUCKING GO.
#going to treat myself with food and wine and fics i think#my lecturer gave us an extension on the second essay#love that man#a king#gonna buy flowers for him when the semester ends#i will be unhinged tonight probably#rj talks
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I hate everything but my writing most of all
#it's so terrible#i just want this stupid story to be done#we weren't even supposed to have a creative writing assignment in this class#the professor randomly added it a week ago#it's not on the syllabus#second time they've pulled this shit actually#i'm so tired#this semester has gone on for years#i just want it to be done so i can go home#my advisor's sending me notes on my thesis and i just can't deal with any of this anymore#i have to write an essay this weekend on a book i really couldn't care less about#i'm just so tired#i feel like i broke weeks ago#and yet i'm still here for some stupid reason#i can't do this for five more weeks#i'm so sick of it#college things#delete later
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Staring down my English teacher until she grades my essay from last month and my final
#my final was turned in on friday and is still ungraded#in comparison to my geography final which i turned in today around 9:00am#and was graded by 4:30pm! so!#like the second semester starts tomorrow and she hasn’t graded my essay from six weeks ago#that should have been graded by last week but yeah#felt rants
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yeah another point for IR being the weirdest fucking class ive taken at uni so far. turns out the exam is an open-book open-web series of 3 mini-essays that we are given 24 hours to do?? good news is im significantly less fucked bad news is it started at 9am today and is due at 9am tomorrow and also the instructions/expectations are slightly unclear and i only learnt this at like 3pm today. who designs this shit LMAOO
#this class has routinely had deadlines at times that arent midnight which is extremely fucking stupid#considering the fact that all of my other classes have deadlines at either midnight or end of the school day#AT LEAST IT WILL BE OVER AFTER THIS#just a brisk all-nighter. im on my adhd meds and a can of monster. ive got one of the mini essays done and ive started the second one.#surely this wont have a negative impact on my health! 😃#then i can play my games and do my art yippeeeeeee#i promise to myself that i will only pick classes im actually interested in next semester
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writhing around because i have to spend the next two and a half days on campus for class before i can go home for the week and get my isopod tank set up. not to mention all of the essays and other work i have to do
#queued rambles#i have like. what#a presentation tomorrow (in a group. fortunately); an hour of writing to a philosophy blog that i forgot about for the entire semester#2-3 multi-hour homework assignments for programming; a programming test on tuesday (with a page of notes. fortunately)#a 10 minute programming presentation tuesday after next complete with an entire website#a 10 minute french conversation that i don't want to do#3 multiple page essays#at least 2 exams#all within the next 10 days#at least 4 hours of menial work. 90 seconds of presenting that is specifically my own + another 10 minutes of the same for a different clas#3 tests/exams#3 3-4 page essays#an entire website#um. at least i can make my isopod tank 2.5 days from now
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#midterms week is so stressful and for what#also losing my phone Thursday evening and only getting it back this morning meant that my functionality over the weekend plummeted#other issue is that with my fatigue I cannot handle a 3 class day- especially one that doesn’t give me time to rest#by the time I get to my last class on Mondays and Wednesdays I am like half asleep and barely capable of coherent thought#and it is an entirely discussion based class that I have to write an essay for#i have a test for one of my other classes but honestly half of it is 6th grade chemistry and the other half is environmental issues I#learned last semester so I’m not too worried#but there’s no clear prompt for the essay!! and I’m behind on the readings and barely remember classes because I’m so fatigued by the time I#get to the classroom- this isn’t even something that becomes a problem halfway through that class#honestly it usually becomes a problem a bit before my second class ends just because of how that class functions#we do small group discussions every class and I can never hear what people are saying because it’s so loud and there’s like three people who#are just. so. loud. and I can’t hear someone else talking even if they’re literally right next to me#so that saps a ton of energy#I might ask my professor if going forward I can choose to opt in or out of that part due to how much fatigue it causes and how much I#struggle just to understand what someone is saying#I also need to send an email to the ODA because they dropped the ball in a couple different ways in regards to my accommodations and I need#them to fix that. also like. I know the head of the department. we have had multiple conversations since I am the chair of the student#disability group and she is the head of the disability department#I also know multiple people working in the ODA (students) and another person who I specifically can go to if an accommodation is denied#because she will get them to revisit my case (and likely approve the accommodation)#what I’m saying is that I have Connections. but they’re worthless if I don’t know if I’ve been approved or denied an accommodation!#I’ll send them an email. cc the person I met with both this year and last year (who somehow managed to remember me?) and see what happens#one of the issues is that they approved me for an accommodation to use this application and said they’d send me a link to access my account#and they just. never did! like they approved an accommodation and then failed to provide me with said accommodation#and the last thing that the ODA wants is the person in charge of the disability group on campus to decide that they’re not doing a good#enough job because I can cause a huge commotion#I have semi-regularly emailed with one of the assistant deans. I am actively communicating with one of the organizers in our#campus’s student labor advocacy coalition (which I was a part of last year) and they are super experienced in making a big impact about#an issue. I also learned from them last year and we support each other this year so again. Connections#they really don’t want me on their bad side. should I have to threaten my way into getting my accommodations? no but I will as a last resort
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