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lynkhart · 3 years ago

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MAJOR spoilers for the C2 finale of Critical Role so read at your own risk of you haven’t caught up!

I have so many feelings regarding Caleb and Essek’s intertwining character arcs I needed to explore, so strap in folks, you’re in for a bit of a ride! (But seriously though, this is like 4000 words long, I basically wrote an essay 😂)

At the start of the campaign, Caleb Widogast was dripping in guilt and self loathing and refused to believe he could ever absolve himself of his sins. Essek Thelyss was a cold, aloof individual who betrayed his people for selfish goals, and their differing yet mirrored narratives have been an absolute delight to watch unfold.

In the beginning Caleb truly hated himself. He shot down any attempt at a compliment, described himself as a ‘disgusting person’, outright rejected the idea that he was worthy of love, and never let the blame shift from him for what he’d done. When Beauregard and Veth/Nott pointed out that he was coerced and manipulated into killing his parents, he reacts in an incredibly visceral way, and I’ve seen several comments likening it to a victim of child abuse who was groomed into believing they were as responsible as their abuser, and I think that’s exactly how it was meant to be read. He doesn’t see himself as a victim, only a murderer, and punishes himself for it every day. We see this in the way he presents himself, dirty and unkempt because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel good about himself in any way. Other than Nott/Veth and Beau to a certain degree, he purposefully isolates himself from the rest of the group and it’s a long time until he feels relaxed enough in their company to drop his defences a little.

(Speaking from a purely meta point of view, Liam did an absolutely phenomenal job of showing this through body language and I’d love to see someone do a compilation video of it. He starts off very hunched and guarded, leaning his body away from the closest person to him and avoiding eye contact and physical touch; but by the end stands tall and sure of himself.)

Early on there were a few moments where he had the option to do some pretty dark shit, and I’m sure there’s a possible timeline where he gave into his desire for revenge and really lost his way, but I’m glad he stuck it out and worked through his trauma in the way he did. His PTSD and disassociation when casting with fire was tragic, but over time he was able to work through it thanks to the constant love and support of his friends who kept him from going off at the deep end.

Molly’s death was the catalyst for change in a lot of the party, and Caleb is no exception. On the verge of leaving the group prior to his death, the grief they shared, combined with their frantic attempt to rescue the other half of their party put things in perspective and gradually he learned how to be a person again, to care.

Altering time to save his family had been Caleb’s only goal in life, and so when Essek and by extension, dunamancy was introduced, you could see his eyes light up at the possibilities.

A huge turning point for him is aligned so closely with Essek’s redemption arc which feels quite apt I think. When Essek confesses to his crimes, Caleb delivers a beautifully iconic piece of dialogue where he acknowledges their similarities and how much he himself has changed as a person since meeting the Mighty Nein. (Source - CR wiki)

‘You listen to me. I know what you are talking about. I know. And the difference between you and I is thinner than a razor. I know what it means to have other people complicate your desires and wishes. And I was like you. Was. I know what a fool I have been for years. You didn't account for us. Good. That is life. Shit hits you sideways in life and no one is prepared. No one is ready. These people changed me. These people can change you. You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it. You have a rare opportunity here, Thelyss. One chance to save yourself, and we are offering it.’

This is not the same Caleb we met back in the Nestled Nook inn way back in the first episode. While not yet fulfilled or entirely convinced of his own worth, he knows he’s on the right path. That alone is progress enough, but that he uses his own experiences to help another escape those same chains of guilt says such a lot for his development. When he tells Essek that his ‘venom’ was learned, he’s also talking about himself and his own history of being manipulated and gaslit, with the implication being that it can be un-learned just as efficiently.

Caleb Widogast is selfish no more, or at the very least, doesn’t let his goals undermine anyone else’s anymore. Contrary to what he himself might still think, he is in no way a bad person. He loves fiercely and cannot abide seeing those he cares about in pain.

Early game Essek is what Caleb could have been if he’d rejected his friends and focused solely on his own selfish goal to undo his mistakes. Both are impassive at first and see the Mighty Nein as means to an end...until they get to know them and then their fate is sealed. The Power of Friendship wins once again!

At the beginning Caleb said he wanted to ‘bend reality to my will’ (sic) and in the end he does just that, though not in the way he originally intended. Destroying the T-Dock, and by extension the one thing he’d been building towards from the start, the chance to go back and change time, for me personally was the absolute peak of his journey. I rewatched the scene where Caleb revealed the truth about his parents death today, and it was really jarring to see just how far he’d come since then. It made me oddly proud actually.

I always felt like his plan to save his parents was the one thing holding him back from truly accepting their deaths, which is why the final scene of him in the cemetery with the letters for them hit so hard. He never truly gave up hope that they’d be reunited, but ultimately he realised he was merely postponing the inevitable and never allowing himself to live his own life. While time travel shenanigans would have been incredibly interesting to explore in game, choosing to let the past lie and not go back for them finally allows him to grieve and move on, and perhaps most importantly of all, to forgive himself at last.

I know some people were annoyed by Caleb’s decision in the finale to spend the rest of his life teaching rather than continuing to adventure, but I see it as the natural conclusion to his whole arc and his own personal victory.

He looked Trent Ikithon in the eyes, a man who he’d spent years wanting to kill and run from in equal measure, stripped him of his power and his voice (and ultimately his ability to harm anyone else) and finally spared his life so he had to live with the indignity of his defeat for the rest of his miserable existence. You couldn’t have asked for a more damning rejection of everything he’d been brainwashed into believing as a child. His dismissal of Trent’s position in the Assembly played into that as well. He never really wanted power for the sake of it; he had no desire for politics, he just wanted his family back, and while he didn’t get the one he started with, he made a new one for himself in the end.

As Caduceus once very wisely said:

‘Pain doesn’t make people; it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential; it's love that saves them.’

Caleb gets to break the cycle of abuse and teach a new generation of mages the way he should have been, with kindness and respect, and I’m pretty sure he’d have introduced a handsome drow as a guest lecturer from time to time. 😉

Speaking of...

Essek described himself as selfish and as a coward, forever putting his own wants and desires first, yet over the course of his journey with the Nein we see his priorities change drastically.

Having friends gives him people to care about, something he’s never had before, and it changes his outlook on life completely. For me, the first time we really see this is when he joins them for dinner in the Xorhaus and stops levitating. It’s a subtle thing, but meaningful. He explains that it had become an expectation of him, a quirk he’s known for, and so to feel comfortable enough around the Nein to drop that pretence is quite bold I think.

Much later, when he chooses to destroy the mini beacon they discover in Aeor in order to give everyone a long rest before the final confrontation with Lucian, he’s essentially giving up everything he betrayed his people for, just to keep his friends safe. The existence and context of that single artefact could have had an earthshattering impact on the Dynasty’s entire culture, forcing them to reevaluate their entire belief system and attitude to the Luxon, something he’d wanted from the start, something he helped start a war for, but he offered it up as a sacrifice without a second thought.

I’d say that’s a pretty big morality shift, and I’m super interested to see if Matt reveals if his alignment changed in the post campaign Q&A. I have a feeling he set him up as a potential BBEG but the party was like ‘no, you can’t have him, he’s ours now’ and that was the end of that. 😂

I think it says so much about the other characters too, that they befriended this person they barely knew, and when he was revealed to have done such terrible things, their first reaction was to give him comfort and an opportunity to atone. Jester held his hand while he confessed, and afterwards, while they didn’t immediately forgive him, they saw the good in him and wanted him to be better, which ultimately feels like what the entire campaign was about, leaving places (and people) better than they found them. It’s obvious that he’s never really had many friends before and has therefore never had the opportunity to be emotionally open with anyone, so seeing him gradually warm up to the Nein and allow himself to soften around them was really lovely to watch.

(Obviously, from a realistic moral perspective, he still fucked up big time. He’s still a godsdamned war criminal and really should have been put on trial for what he did, but I think from a narrative and personal point of view, his redemption arc was far more satisfying, so I’m glad it happened the way it did. (And not to derail but the rest of the gang have done some pretty horrific stuff as well, though perhaps not quite on the same scale)

He has a few moments towards the end that I absolutely love because they show that beneath the guilt and anguish, there’s an incredibly sweet and sensitive soul in there, just wanting acceptance. His dry jokes which often don’t quite hit, (the ‘I will punish the bakery’ line is such an under-appreciated one 😂) his simple joy at learning to garden in the Blooming Grove, and realising that he’d never been asked what his favourite food was before was actually kind of heartbreaking, because it highlighted how lonely his life must have been until that time. There was a moment pretty early on I think when he cast disguise on the party and Jester asked if he could cast it again to change the look of her outfit a bit and while he seemed to find it amusing, he refused, not wanting to waste a spell on such a frivolous request. Cut to their time in Aeor where he burns a fly spell just so he and Caleb can flirtatiously swoop around each other for a couple of minutes, all the while trying to beat Lucian to the city.

His breakdown when Molly’s resurrection failed really cemented to me how much he’d grown as a character. He never met Molly, his only knowledge of him was secondhand, through the eyes of his friends, but seeing it fail just broke him because he knew how much it hurt them to go through it all over again.

His comment to Caleb about not admitting defeat and wishing he could do more did get me wondering at the time if he was going to try and do something crazy, perhaps sacrificing himself via the Temporal Dock to make amends or somehow forcing another reroll, but I’m glad he didn’t. The conversation following that with Fjord was one of my favourites- he shows him acceptance and belief in his potential for the future, something he’s lacked for a long time, and when Caleb bluntly affirms afterwards that he is indeed an official member of the Mighty Nein, it’s the start of the rest of his life, and something he’s exceptionally grateful for.

It all leads to that final moment in Aeor with Caleb, when, presented with the opportunity to alter time and undo everything, he chooses to accept his decisions and carry the weight of his sins for the rest of his long life. That’s...huge.

He’s essentially choosing to live the rest of his existence as a fugitive, forever on the run, with no guaranteed peace or safety. He chooses to spend his life making up for his deeds, rather than looking for an easy way out.

I think that may have had a big impact on why Caleb ultimately made the same decision, as if Essek had been up for altering his timeline I think he’d have struggled to resist it himself. The conversation they had earlier in Aeor about their priorities and resisting temptation really comes to mind as well.

Now, to the relationship.

It was subtle, and not as ‘in your face’ obvious as the other characters, but I’ve been watching and hoping for a long time and I must say, it feels good to be vindicated.

(And if you have any doubt, both Matt and Liam confirmed on Twitter that their post finale relationship was 100% romantic)

I’d been hoping that Shadowgast would be a canon endgame relationship for a while, so the finale, and the aforementioned T-Dock scene in particular had me quite literally shaking with emotion as I watched live. Here you have two men, both damaged and guilt-stricken in their own ways, who find in each other a kindred spirit and a path to redemption.

They’re both very guarded and closed off people, but Essek in particular has a definite shift in the last arc of the campaign especially when it came to his interactions with Caleb. At the start he was quite aloof and stoic, though charming, and they had an instant connection through their shared love of the arcane, (anyone who couldn’t see them making heart eyes at each other when Essek was describing the different types of magic he could teach Caleb was clearly blind) but by the end he was incredibly open to showing his vulnerabilities and that takes a lot, especially for someone whose primary focus was to stay in control of every aspect of his life. The ‘Caleb, I’m scared’ moment during the Trent fight in particular made my heart ache.

No, we didn’t get a dramatic declaration of love or a cinematic mid-battle kiss, but I’d argue that their relationship was just as, if not more intimate than any of the other main characters were. They understood each other in a way the others didn’t, their shared guilt, feelings of inadequacy and their obsession with magic forged a deep connection from the get-go. Neither of them are big fans of PDA I think, though Caleb is tactile as hell (forehead touches and kisses, oh man, I’m so weak for those 😩👌) and some of their most iconic moments have them putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the other. Essek shaking off his forced guilt trip immediately after the now infamous forehead touch in ep140 was beautifully poetic, as was using his fortune’s favour to pull Caleb out of the rubble moments before. Caleb trying to include him in his Sphere of Invulnerability in the finale and Essek staying close to him the whole fight despite being obviously terrified of Trent was the icing on the cake. It’s clear that they care for each other a great deal; whether by the finale they’d consider it love is up for debate, but we know that’s eventually where it ended up and honestly, I love that. I deeply appreciated the fact Matt and Liam both emphasised that they took their time with their relationship, letting each other heal in their own way before they took the next step. All too often in media, and real life too sadly, a romantic relationship is seen as some kind of quick fix, and that a lover will somehow complete you or make all your problems vanish. They knew this wasn’t the case here, and that made it all the better.

While I would have *loved* to have seen them together as a couple right to the very end, the change in their relationship felt right, if bittersweet. I doubt they ever stopped loving each other, and if anything, choosing to shift to a deep and lifelong friendship over a romance that would cause them both so much pain is one of the kindest things you could do for someone you love. After all, friendship isn’t a downgrade, just another way of experiencing that same love, and it wasn’t as though they broke up and never saw each other again, it was pretty strongly implied that they remained a major feature in each other’s lives, they just changed their label slightly. Caleb would hate to have forced Essek to watch him wither away, and although his eventual passing would hurt Essek regardless, incompatible lifespans being what they are, having a period of time to adjust to it, to give them a buffer between the inevitable heartbreak was actually really sweet.

Their romance was no accident, they knew going in that it had a time limit, that it wasn’t going to be forever for one of them, and the fact they did it anyway says so much. They began their adventure wholeheartedly believing that they were both, in their own way incapable of love, only to later find it with each other. Whether their relationship lasted for a couple of years or multiple decades is irrelevant, what matters is that while it did they had a happy and fulfilled life together.

I know some folk wanted Caleb to use the transmogrification spell on himself so he could live on with Essek as another elf, or make him human instead, but that would have been way out of character for both I think. If they could have backwards engineered one of the rejuvenation stations in Aeor and used it to extend Caleb’s life by a hundred years or so, so he’d have a similar lifespan to Veth, now, I could have seen him possibly doing that, so he could spend more time with his best friend too, but nothing further I think. He longed to be reunited with his parents too much to postpone death unnaturally like that.

That both Caleb and Essek ultimately chose to live with their mistakes and make peace with themselves was incredibly cathartic, and I couldn’t imagine it playing out any better.

The fact Matt has explicitly stated Essek is Demi too means so much to me personally because the latter is a label I’ve been identifying with a lot recently, and it’s so rare for aspec relationships to get any representation! It has honestly given me a lot to think about over the last few days, and I really appreciate it.

To conclude, here’s a bit of shameless self promotion. I wrote this after watching the finale and honestly feel like it sums up my feelings on the nature of their relationship pretty well.

‘A casual hand on a shoulder, a waist, a wrist; a gentle kiss placed on a forehead is common between them now, an intimacy born of trust and mutual affection. Over time it grows, like a fire born of seasoned timber; gradual and steady, no spluttering kindling that flares and sparks, but a slow burn, one which lasts.

Their love is embroidered into every aspect of their lives together. Acts of service, of comfort, of understanding.

Sometimes a kiss leads to more than a kiss, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way they are content.‘

So yeah, I love these two wizard boys so very much and I couldn’t be happier with the conclusion of their stories. ❤️

#Critical Role #Critical Role Spoilers #CR Spoilers #shadowgast #Essek thelyss #Caleb Widogast #C2ep141 #C2ep141 spoilers #critical role finale

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varietywritings · 5 years ago

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PROTEGO

Sirius Black x OC!Arden Walker

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

CHAPTER TWO: TRIALS & TRANSFIGURATIONS

It was about halfway through Ancient Runes when Arden decided that Professor Babbling did not live up to her name. Rather than tripping over her words and rambling on during her lecture, Professor Babbling droned on about what was in store for the year. Arden drifted further into her own thoughts as Professor Babbling monotonously reviewed which runic symbol corresponded with which number. She sat slumped in her seat, cursing the fact that she only woke up with enough time to get dressed and sprint to Ancient Runes. There wasn’t even enough time to have her requisite cup of coffee. Coffee, Arden thought longingly. What she would give just to even have a sip of the liquid energy. Something to give her a little pep in her step before her next class, Transfigurations.

Transfigurations.

Her stomach involuntarily turned. Arden and the rest of her year knew she was intelligent; her house was enough evidence for that. She prided herself on her natural intellect. Charms was like breathing for her and Defense Against the Dark Arts she could ace with little effort. While Potions was not her favorite, she could still manage to hold her own against Lily and even somehow landed herself in The Slug Club. However, Arden and the rest of her year also knew that Transfigurations was her worst subject.

She was certain that her shortcomings were not due to Professor McGonagall; the woman was a Transfiguration genius as far as Arden was concerned. Rewriting her notes, drilling the text into her head, practicing the wand motions: nothing could make the material stick in Arden’s head. She meekly wondered if the Permanent Sticking Charm could be performed on concepts.

The ringing of the bell snapped Arden out of her reverie. Begrudgingly, she gathered her things and trudged out of the dimly lit classroom.

After giving five different first-years directions to their next classes and descending six flights of stairs, Arden finally arrived at Transfigurations. She walked into the classroom and immediately had to bite her tongue to stop the creative expletives she was thinking of from flying out of her mouth. Not only were James and Peter in her class but her fellow chaser Joel Brantley sat in the second row. It’s safe to say that Brantley is possibly the snobbiest, most arrogant wizard Arden has ever come across. He could almost give her stepfather a run for his money.

Steeling her nerves, Arden walked to the front row and claimed her seat for the year. She preferred sitting in the front row in Transfigurations. This way, Arden could ask Professor McGonagall all the dumb questions she wanted without feeling the judgemental gazes of her classmates. Well, with the exception of Brantley.

“Good morning, everyone.” Professor McGonagall spoke out, capturing the attention of the students. The class grumbled in response as she surveyed the room. “Hopefully, you all maintain this level of enthusiasm as we delve further into the material planned for this year; it will not be easy.”

It never is, Arden lamented to herself.

“As you all may know, N.E.W.T.-level courses tend to be challenging, tiresome, and tedious. However, I have faith that everyone in this room will succeed if they try their hardest.” Professor McGonagall finished. Even though she wasn’t looking at her, Arden could feel Professor McGonagall’s stare drilling into her head, almost like she was directing her little spiel at her. “With that being said, today’s lesson is on Human Transfiguration. Now, you all should’ve learned out animagi in your third year . . .”

Arden prepped her parchment for the extensive amount of notes she was about to take, hanging onto every word Professor McGonagall was saying. She knew that Transfiguration was going to be her biggest obstacle this year, just like it was every other year, but she needed this course to be even considered for an auror position. Arden miraculously managed to get an Exceeds Expectations on her Transfigurations O.W.L. last year. She will pass the N.E.W.T.-level course with flying colors this year. Or at least she hopes.

That’s why, when Professor McGonagall shouted a reminder to them that twelve inches of parchment on Metamorphmagi was due the next class on Tuesday, Arden sped out of the classroom to the library to begin her research. In fact, she was so deep in her research, she was almost tardy to Charms. That would’ve made a bad first impression on Professor Flitwick.

Arden burst into the classroom, finding most of the class already present. She scoured the room for a spot to sit and, to her surprise, found Lily sitting in the bottom row of the tiered seats. Glancing around Lily, Arden found that all the seats surrounding her were already occupied.

“Sorry.” Lily mouthed. Arden shrugged in response as if to say it was all right. Sliding into the row across from Lily, she realized she chose a seat right beside the “Least Troublesome” Marauder, Remus.

“Mornin’.” Arden greeted, pulling out a fresh sheet of parchment.

“G’Morning. How was Transfigurations?” Remus asked. Arden’s eyebrows knitted together. How did he know she had Transfigurations earlier? “James said you looked as white as a ghost when McGonagall was talking about how hard the class was going to be.” Arden’s nostrils flared. She should’ve known it was James who told Remus, that gossip queen.

“Not all of us are self-proclaimed Transfigurations Masters.” She grumbled. Remus nodded along.

“You have a point. Have you thought about tutoring?” Remus suggested, flipping to the page indicated on the chalkboard in his Charms textbook. Arden snorted.

“I’m a total dunce when it comes to Transfigurations. Why would I tutor someone on the subject?” She snickered at the thought, but Remus looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I was suggesting you get tutored, not do the tutoring.” He clarified and Arden looked at him incredulously.

“I don’t need tutoring. I’ll manage just fine by myself.” She brushed away the suggestion. Remus looked less than convinced but decided not to push the matter further. Like his best mate Sirius, he knew she had a slight issue with people telling her to do things she didn’t want to do.

Professor Flitwick entered the room, standing atop the table at the front of the room so he could be seen. He cleared his throat slightly, adjusting the circular frames that sat on his nose.

“Hello, class! As you already know, I am Professor Flitwick and I am your new Charms instructor.” He beamed at the students. They stared back at him tiredly, their full bellies being the main cause of their exhaustion. Arden, however, smiled back kindly. “While it was sad to see Professor Hoddle go, I hope to live up to his legacy as a wonderful Charms professor.” He nodded as if to assure himself that his opening speech was good and moved onto the lesson.

“Who can tell me—without looking in your textbook—what the Water-Making spell is also considered, besides it being a charm?” Arden’s hand immediately shot up along with a couple of her peers’ hands. Professor Flitwick gestured to her. “Yes . . . ?”

“Arden Walker.” She introduced herself.

“All right, Ms. Walker. What is it also classified as?” Professor Flitwick looked at her curiously.

“A conjuration, sir.” She replied politely.

“Correct! Do you know why that’s the case, Ms. Walker?” He questioned further, his inquisitiveness showing even more.

“Well, it—you know—conjures water out of thin air.” She answered rather awkwardly. Lily flashed her a sarcastic thumbs up.

“Correct, again! Five points to Ravenclaw.” Professor Flitwick said, smiling brightly at Arden. She returned the smile and, once his back was turned, flipped Lily off in retaliation. Lily feigned a hurt expression, but couldn’t help laughing silently. Arden could see Remus shaking his head in her peripheral vision, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

Flitwick lectured for the rest of the class period while helping everyone correctly perform aguamenti. Arden managed to perform the charm correctly on her first try, producing crystal clear water. Lily and Remus only needed a couple of tries before both of them produced the same results. Professor Flitwick gladly wrapped the class up, announcing that there was no homework since everyone worked so diligently today. Sighs of relief filled the room as the students packed up for the day and headed out. Arden and Lily walked out of the classroom together, saying their goodbyes until after class. Lily walked briskly in the direction of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom when the same sinking feeling returned to her stomach. She would have to ask Lily later about Professor Janus. She already knew that Lily was going to tell her that she was overthinking the situation for the millionth time and tell her not to worry, but she still had to make sure.

Arden straightened up her prefect badge on her robes, setting off to help first-years find their way to their classes. Perhaps that will take her mind off things.

✧✧✧

Surprisingly, it did take her mind off things. It turns out being bombarded with questions about the castle was just what Arden needed. After classes had ended for the day, Arden decided to make her way back to the Ravenclaw common room to relax a bit before dinner. And by relax, she meant, “Comb through the four different books she checked out on Human Transfiguration to find sufficient information to begin outlining her essay.” The three hours she spent with her nose in multiple books came and went, and suddenly Arden was plopping herself down next to Lily at the Gryffindor table for dinner.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Arden greeted, shoveling mashed potatoes onto her plate. She was starving.

“Yes, fancy seeing me at my own house’s table.” Lily jokingly shot back while carefully doling sprouts onto her own plate. Arden gave her an unimpressed look and took a sip of her pumpkin juice.

“Har har.” She mocked. Lily chuckled before digging into her dinner.

Arden tapped her fingers rapidly against the wooden table. The sinking feeling had returned once more. She desperately wanted to ask Lily about the new Defense professor. She knew the answer, so what was the point? The point is something’s up, Arden reasoned. She shifted in her spot on the bench. She could feel Lily looking at her. Lily sighed.

“What do you want to ask me?”

“The new professor: what do you think of him?”

“Oh, Flitwick’s nice. He seemed a little nervous today, but—” Arden shook her head, cutting Lily off.

“No, no, not Flitwick. Janus, the Defense professor.” She clarified. Lily made a sound of recognition.

“Oh, him? He’s fine. A little arrogant if you ask me, but can you blame him? He’s very handsome and he was one of the best aurors out there. Had to quit, though. Evidently, he had a nasty run-in with one of You-Know-Who’s followers. He doesn’t like talking about it.” Lily said, finishing off her bread roll. Arden hummed in acknowledgment.

“I don’t trust him.”

“Here we go.”

“What?!” Lily turned to fully face Arden. Lily wore the look of someone who’s heard this all before. And she has.

“A, c’mon, not every new person is a threat.” Lily tried reasoning, but Arden wasn’t having any of it.

“You don’t know that! I actually have a good judge of character.” Arden argued. Lily laughed loudly, making James swoon a ways away.

“So the old man at Honeyduke’s last year really was stealing those Sugar Quills?”

“Okay, that was one time—” “And that willowy woman at Three Broomsticks really was a seer?”

“All right, we both know I was being facetious—”

“How about that little boy at Platform 9 ¾ our fourth year—”

“So I’m not always right! You can stop now!” The people sitting near them all looked over in their direction at Arden’s sudden outburst. She smiled sheepishly and carried on in a lower tone. “The point is that I don’t have a good feeling about him and this time it feels real.” Lily looked at her, exhaustion coloring her vibrant green eyes.

“The point is you’ve been wrong before, so you could be wrong again.” Arden’s shoulders slumped out of resignation. She knew Lily was right and Lily knew it, too. “Now, stop overthinking so much.” She playfully pushed Arden’s shoulder. Arden smirked a little bit. “You already don’t get enough sleep, so you really don’t need to be losing sleep over this.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” Arden resigned. Lily tapped her ear.

“Sorry, what was that? Couldn’t hear you.”

“Oh, my—shut up!” Arden chuckled and Lily joined in. They finished their dinner while chatting about their day and then promptly made their way to the corridors to do their nightly prefect duties.

The weekend breezed by for Arden. However, she had to spend most of it drafting a new Transfigurations essay because she completely misread a passage on animagi as a passage on metamorphmagi. She cursed herself more than a couple of times as she triple checked the headings of each passage she read.

Monday morning finally rolled around and Arden was less than enthused to be up at such an ungodly hour. Savoring every sip of her coffee, she finished off her second cup and snagged one more banana nut muffin before heading to her first class of the day, Defense Against the Dark Arts. With Professor Janus. She audibly groaned, scaring a Slytherin awake by accident. Shooting an awkward smile his way, she sped out of the Great Hall to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom on the third floor. Making it to Classroom 3C in record time, she was beginning to question having two cups of coffee instead of the normal one cup she has most mornings.

Arden took a seat towards the back of the room, hoping the seat beside her would stay empty so she would have the desk all to herself. Nothing is that simple, though, is it?

The sound of the chair beside her scraping against the dark wooden floors grated against her ears as she searched for a quill in her bag. After finding a quill, she sat up straight and, with the most peeved face she could muster, looked over to see who had disturbed her peace. She should’ve known it would be Sirius Black.

“Of course it’s you.”

“Hello to you, too, Walker,” Sirius said, sarcasm oozing from his voice.

“Why are you here?” Arden asked, but the question came out more akin to a whine than a genuine question.

“Because I have this class at this time.” He deadpanned and crossed his arms over his chest.

“No shit, Black. I meant why are you sitting here? There are three other empty seats you could’ve chosen.” She rephrased impatiently and he shook his head, his obsidian hair following the movement.

“No, you see I couldn’t sit in any of those seats.” He ran a hand through his hair to clear it out of his silver eyes. He discreetly pointed at one of the empty seats, leaning down so Arden could hear him speak, but she leaned away to keep her distance. “Had a nasty break up with the girl beside that one,” he pointed at another, “the prick beside that one called Remus a ‘mudblood’,” he pointed at the last available seat, “and that one threatened to hex me if I ever came near them again.” Sirius straightened up and Arden remained as rigid as ever. “I figured you’d be the one least likely to kill me, so . . .” he drawled out. Arden looked at him dumbfounded. Why me, Merlin? What did I do, she thought to herself. Breathing deeply, she blinked slowly at him. He tried giving her a charming smirk like he did on the train.

“Yeah, that’s not going to work on me.” She said, unimpressed. He huffed, shifting in his seat.

“Are you at least going to let me copy off your work?” He asked with a hopeful lilt to his voice, dark eyebrows raised. Sirius looked at her with large, pleading eyes like a puppy. Arden smiled sweetly at him, his lips pulling into a sly grin.

“Of course not.” Sirius’ face became blank.

“The seat beside my ex is looking pretty good now.” He breathed out.

“By all means, be my guest.” She said in mock-politeness. His jaw ticked as he turned toward her.

“Who the bloody hell pissed in your tea this morning?” He spat out. Arden scoffed in disbelief. She opened her mouth to whip another comeback at him, but someone interrupted her.

“Morning, everyone. Welcome back to Defense Against the Dark Arts.” A hush fell over the class when Professor Janus spoke out. The sinking feeling was back at home in Arden’s gut. All previous annoyance drained from her, neutralizing her expression. Sirius, on the other hand, could see a certain uneasiness lurking in her sea green eyes. His eyes narrowed, but he decided to let it go and try to listen to Professor Janus. “It is quite unfortunate that Professor Malvolio had to be let go, but it was for the best. Can’t have a professor spreading spattergoit around, can we? Nasty sickness, spattergoit is.” His posture was surprisingly relaxed, as opposed to Professor Flitwick who fidgeted throughout the whole Charms lesson. Professor Janus rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, an easy smile on his face.

“I’m Professor Janus, this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I imagine everyone will be eager to start today’s lesson. We’ll be discussing nonverbal spells and how to properly perform them.” Each student seemed to be mesmerized by his every word. Everyone except Arden and Sirius, who looked cautious and bored, respectively. “Performing spells nonverbally is a tricky little thing to do, but it can be done—” He flourished his wand “—with ease—” all the dozens of books that sat on his desk stood at attention “—after a lot of practice.” He flicked his wrist upwards and the books flapped their way onto the empty shelves, organizing themselves by cover color. A smattering of claps sounded throughout the room. Professor Janus relaxed once more, putting his free hand into the pocket of his dress pants.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sirius mumbled under his breath. For once, Arden shared his sentiment. All he did was magic a couple dozen books back onto the shelves and he basically gets a standing ovation? She resisted the unbearable urge to roll her eyes while she half-listened to Professor Janus’ instructions on how to perform nonverbal spells.

“You two.” Professor Janus called on Arden and Sirius. They shared a glance before looking at him, both realizing that the other also wasn’t paying attention to instructions. “Think you’ve got a handle on it?”

“Yes, professor,” Arden answered.

“Mhm,” Sirius answered. While the two gave different versions of the same answer, they both looked stony.

Professor Janus looked at them expectantly, giving them a silent cue to go ahead. Huffing a breath out through her nose, Arden stood up and lifted her wand.

Accio book, Arden willed to herself. A worn copy of Stepping Into the Mind: The Art of Legilimency flew off of Professor Janus’ shelf. Arden’s hand shot up and caught it before it hit the back wall. While Arden sat back down, Sirius was nonchalantly standing up. With a cocky smirk gracing his lips, he raised his wand and flicked it towards himself. Suddenly, all of Professor Janus’ books jetted off the shelves and into haphazard piles on his desk. Sirius sat back down, stretching his legs out in front of him. The cocky smirk was still etched onto his face.

“Was that necessary?” Arden whispered to Sirius but kept her eyes fixed on Professor Janus whose expression danced the line between impressed and utterly perturbed.

“Oh, so he can show off, but if I do it, it’s unnecessary,” Sirius argued back. Arden scoffed. She crossed her legs, the top one beginning to bounce due to the caffeine that was currently coursing through her.

“Did I say that?” She asked through clenched teeth. Sirius threw his hands up in defense then crossed his arms again.

“I’ll admit, I’m impressed, . . .” Professor Janus regained their attention.

“Black. Sirius Black.” Arden didn’t resist the urge this time and rolled her eyes at his theatrics.

“Arden Walker.”

“Well, impressive displays from both of you, Ms. Walker and especially you, Mr. Black.” Professor Janus commended. Arden nodded in thanks. Sirius smiled, pride rolling off him in waves. “But the Summoning Charm is regarded as one of the easiest spells to perform nonverbally.” The guy who called Remus a mudblood began to snicker, but immediately stopped when he met Sirius’ stormy gaze. Professor Janus meandered over to their desk and held out his hand, glancing down at the book Arden now had a white-knuckled grip on. She dropped the book in his waiting hand. He smiled at her condescendingly. “Thank you.” She clenched her fists under the table, her nails biting into her palms. For the first time in her academic career, Arden was going to hate Defense Against the Dark Arts.

✧✧✧

“‘The Summoning Charm is one of the easiest spells to perform nonverbally.’” Arden mocked in a funny voice, keeping her volume at a minimum. “Please, almost everyone in the class couldn’t even light their wands without the incantation.”

“A, I love you,—”

“Love you too, Lils.”

“—but if you talk about what happened in Defense on Monday one more time, I will hit you with my Herbology textbook.” Lily threatened. Arden gave her a challenging look, but as soon as Lily put her hand on the book, she conceded.

“I’m sorry, okay. It just bothers me being singled out like that, you know?” Arden apologized. The tension left Lily’s shoulders. She gave her best friend a sympathetic look.

“Trust me, I understand, but it happened on Monday. It’s Thursday.” Lily reasoned rather bluntly. Arden ran a hand down her face.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Arden admitted, mostly to drop the subject because she was still very much thinking about it. Lily knew this too but decided not to comment either. Madam Pince’s incessant shushing brought them both out of their thoughts, returning them to the Venomous Tentacula diagrams they were supposed to be labeling.

“So,” Lily began, thumbing through her textbook once more, “how have quidditch tryouts been? Any promising new players?”

“Yeah, yeah, things are looking pretty good for Ravenclaw this year,” Arden said, absent-mindedly rubbing a sore spot on her shoulder. One of the hopefuls trying out for the open chaser position hadn’t communicated to her that the quaffle was coming her way and just beamed it straight at her shoulder. It’s been a couple days and it was still aching a bit. She should probably get that checked out.

“You don’t sound too convinced,” Lily observed.

“It’s nothing. Brantley is annoying per usual and Donahue was acting a little weird like his mind was somewhere else.” Arden said, carefully labeling each appendage on her diagram.

“He is in his seventh year. Probably has a lot going on already.” Lily speculated.

“Brantley thinks he’s going to step down and hand team captain over to someone else.” Lily looked up at Arden, surprised.

“Who do you think he’ll give it to?” Lily asked, but Arden just shrugged.

“As long as it’s not Brantley, I’m fine.” Lily nodded in agreement. “I will fight a bludger blindfolded if he becomes team captain.” Arden sneered. Lily snorted as she imagined Arden in that situation. “Just like how I will gladly do just that if I get anything lower than an Acceptable on that Metamorphmagi essay we did in Transfigurations.”

“You probably did great, don’t worry.” Lily comforted, but Arden wasn’t having any of it.

“No, I probably did terrible, per usual.”

“Have a little faith in yourself.” Lily chastised. Arden shook her head, unconvinced, but let the topic go anyways.

✧✧✧

When Professor McGonagall handed Arden back her essay the next day with it graded P for Poor, she wanted to walk into the Forbidden Forest and never return. She knew this was going to happen. She couldn’t wait to tell Lily that she told her so, even if it was at her own expense. So, when the bell rang, signaling the end of class, Arden approached Professor McGonagall.

“You might want to look into tutoring, Ms. Walker. That’s the only way you’re going to get better in this subject. And I know I don’t need to remind you that this is a N.E.W.T.-level course.” Professor McGonagall suggested, already knowing what Arden was going to ask. Arden sighed. She hated asking for assistance, especially on school-related things. She couldn’t help but feel like her intelligence was being questioned, even though she knew that was probably not the case. But she knew Professor McGonagall was right. “Why don’t you go and ask Mr. Potter for help?” Arden had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing. Instead, she opted for a courteous smile.

Over my dead body!

“Thank you, Professor, but I’ll just ask Lily.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I understand that the two of you are great friends, however, the two of you don’t tend to work whenever you study.” Arden thought back to last night. Yes, Lily and she went to the library, but they only managed to label half their Venomous Tentacula diagrams before getting completely distracted. “And he’s not that bad. Maybe he’ll be able to give you a different way to look at the material.” Arden gave a curt nod. She thanked Professor McGonagall for her input before briskly leaving the classroom and heading to the Great Hall.

Trudging down the corridor, Arden stared at the red letter P that was emblazoned at the top of her essay. She was beginning to spiral downwards, jumping to the conclusion that she’ll probably never become an auror at this rate. She turned the corner and stopped in her tracks. Speak of the Devil. At the end of the corridor, leaning up against the wall with a sheet of parchment in his hands, was none other than James Potter. He was surrounded by his normal crew of Peter, Remus, and Sirius. Arden weighed her options. It was either ask for help now and have a chance of passing Transfiguration or not ask for help and be denied of becoming an auror. She heaved a heavy sigh, straightened up, and walked towards the Marauders. They hadn’t noticed her presence once she reached them, but Remus acknowledged her.

“Hullo, Arden.” The mention of her name made the rest of the boys look in her direction.

“Hey,” Arden replied somewhat awkwardly with a nod of her head. She took a deep breath and neutralized her expression. She turned towards James, whose onyx hair was in its usual mess. His hazel eyes looked at her curiously behind his rectangular frames.

“Now, why has Arden Walker graced us with her presence today?” James questioned. Arden had to refrain from knocking his glasses off his face and resorted to clutching her books tightly.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” She muttered to herself, shaking her head. She looked back at James, his eyebrows raised expectantly. “I need . . .” Arden stopped herself. She couldn’t believe this is where she ended up. “I need your . . .” Arden clenched her teeth. “ . . . help.” She bit out. An arrogant grin graced itself onto James’ face.

“I don’t think I heard you.”

“You heard me loud and clear.”

“You’re right.”

“At least we can agree on something.”Arden snarked. James looked miffed. The other three boys were watching the pair like a tennis match. “I need you to tutor me in Transfigurations,” Arden admitted rather sheepishly. James almost felt bad as he looked at her. Almost. James hummed and mockingly stroked his nonexistent beard.

“Why ask me?” James knew why. Of course, he did. He just wanted to hear her say it.

“Because you’re one of the top students in Transfigurations.” Arden huffed begrudgingly. Sirius laughed in disbelief.

“Wow, James, never thought the day would come Walker would admit somebody’s smarter than her.” If looks could kill, Sirius would have been drawn and quartered in about two seconds flat. He merely smirked at her menacing expression.

“Anyways, so are you gonna tutor me or not?” Arden proposed. James looked at her, weighing his options.

“What’s in it for me?”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, actually I’m not.” Arden rolled her eyes thinking of anything that could possibly get James to help her.

“I’ll teach you that maneuver I managed to pull off last year against Hufflepuff.”

“Davies’ Deception?”

“Yeah, that one.” James thought long and hard. She drove a hard bargain, but not hard enough.

“Sorry, Walker, but I can teach myself how to do that.” James pushed off the wall and started to walk away with the rest of the boys in tow. Remus gave a slight, sorry smile. Arden’s mind was racing with other things she could offer. She needed to pass Transfigurations and James was her best bet. Think, Arden, think!

“I’ll get you a date with Lily.” She shouted after James. He stumbled and skidded to a halt. He looked back at her like a deer in headlights. Sirius ran a tired hand down his face and the three boys shared a look with each other.

“She is my best friend after all. I know her like the back of my hand.” Arden further reasoned, but James didn’t need any more persuading.

“You would do that? Really? For me?” James spewed out in a jumble of words. Arden sighed, defeated.

“Get me at least an E on the midterm and we’ll talk.” James strode back to Arden and stretched his hand out.

“You’ve got a deal, Walker.” She smirked proudly and shook his hand firmly. Arden began walking away, passing the boys.

“Tomorrow afternoon in the library. Bring anything that could help me!” She ordered. “I’m counting on you, Potter!”

TAGS:

@virgiill @yourfriendly-neighborhoodfuckup @emmiee232

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lizziestudieshistory · 5 years ago

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Applying to Oxbridge for Postgraduates - References, Essays, and Research Proposals

Applying for Oxbridge requires four kinds of supporting documentation: one or two essays (or equivalent sample work), academic references, an academic CV, and a research statement. I’m not going to run through an academic CV here but there is some great advice and samples on all different types of CVs on Prospects. However, the best place to go for advice is your university careers service. I am going to run through suitable essays, references, and tips for a research proposal.

References

Oxbridge (and all other UK universities) require graduate students to provide academic references to support their applications. These should be provided by your current (or recent) university tutors, lecturers, or professors. Good referees are:

Dissertation supervisors – my supervisor was my primary referee for all my applications as he knew me the best after a year of intensely working together on my research. Supervisors are (usually) more than willing to act as a referee, especially if you’ve built up a good relationship and not spent your dissertation year ignoring them!

Personal tutor – my university assigned each second-year student a personal tutor among the academic staff in our department. My personal tutor was the one who actually suggests I applied to Oxbridge and was more than willing to provide a reference for me. So, if you had something similar they’re a good option to ask for a reference.

Head of department – heads of department are not always going to know you personally, however, it is likely they know you well enough to provide a reference, especially in an academic setting.

Favourite lecturer – the lecturer you got on with the best are a great referee. They want you to do the best you can and will most likely be more than willing to give you a reference.

Just remember to ask a potential email if you can put them down on the form. I have never had an academic say no to me over this, but a quick email to them is a must!

Essays

This is something that a lot of people worry about, however, it’s a small part of the application process. The essays are important, but they are also a place for you to show off your skills as an academic. Don’t worry too much about them!

Rewrite old essays. I took two of my best essays from my undergraduate degree, edited them, and made the improvements suggested in my feedback. You shouldn’t just submit essays you’ve written previously, however, the best way to present yourself is to make two good essays even better and it is perfectly acceptable to use old work again for an application. Using older essays also means you know what the quality of your work is already so you can just rewrite sections to improve the presentation of your argument to show off your full potential.

Chose topics relevant to your chosen course. It’s not essential, but it’s advisable to use essays that cover topics relevant to what you’re applying to study. This gives the department considering your application a decent idea of what you’re like academically in the area you love. For example, I chose to revamp a second-year essay on the New Model Army and the literature review for my dissertation, which showed my love for my specialism and early modern history in general.

Use different types of essay. You can use two argument pieces, however, providing two different essays will give the department a better sense of you. My essay on the New Model Argument gave an in-depth analysis and argument about a topic I’m interested in, while the literature review for my dissertation showed my detailed understanding of historiography and how I can evaluate, find flaws, and build on previous ideas that inform areas of my study.

Formatting. Make sure your essays are in the appropriate format, including the correct referencing system. Using the right referencing system is really important as it shows an awareness of academic conventions, so check whether they expect Chicago, Harvard, APA, etc. Also, just make sure your punctuation is spot on. It seems superfluous but departments are looking at the quality of your writing style as well as the substance of what you’re saying.

Utilise others. Ask someone to read your essays, whether this is a tutor or lecturer, a friend, or a family member. Having someone read over your work to spot mistakes or make academic suggestions is really helpful as they’ll notice things you won’t. I asked my dissertation supervisor, personal tutor, and my mum to read over my essays and they all caught things I’d missed.

Research Statement

Your research statement is the most important part of the application process and it’s vital to get it right as places are partly awarded based on whether someone is willing to supervise your thesis. This makes writing your statement a nerve-racking and difficult process, but it should be one of the easiest parts of the process.

An extension of previous research. Most people who apply for a masters are seeking to explore an aspect of their dissertation further. This makes picking their thesis proposal a lot easier to consider as you know the scholarship and sources behind your research idea inside and out. For example, I’m taking my dissertation on the emotions of seventeenth century English religion further to explore the emotionality of sacramental piety in the same period.

Build on your ideas with your current supervisor. My dissertation supervisor was heavily involved in my application process and a big part of this was us sitting down together to chat about my future research ideas and outlining what I could feasibly do with my masters (and beyond, he was a godsend!) I used this brainstorming session to map out exactly what I wanted to do and correct any initial flaws in my ideas which strengthened my proposal.

Research. This is particularly important if your applying for a masters different from your degree (e.g. heritage from history) or if you’re changing your specialism. You are required to know what is going on around your chosen field and you need to build a comprehensive knowledge base to work from during your course. This doesn’t need to be perfect, but you need to show an understanding of the scholarship around your field.

Show off. Mention those relevant skills you have already learnt, but also mention you want to improve. So, if you’ve started to study palaeography at university, mention it and tell them how you want to develop.

Don’t just say what you want to do, tell them what Oxbridge can do for you. Why do you want to pursue this course in particular? How will studying at Oxbridge develop you as an academic? What modules interest you the most. Suck up to them, just don’t over do it. It’s a fine line and it’s not something I can truly outline here.

Identify a potential supervisor. Gear your application towards a supervisor, don’t make it painfully obvious as another academic may be more appropriate to supervise you. However, hinting you want to work with someone is a good way to get your application noticed.

Include relevant research. Name academics or books you loved, highlight them and explain why you liked it, or the other way around! You need to reference in the research proposal anyway, but this shows off your understanding of the material! Do the same for primary sources.

Identify a theory, academic framework or model you want to use. This is highly personal to you and your study and you need to consider it carefully. Your proposal is unlikely to be your final study. However, is nice to have something in mind and shows you’ve clearly thought through your proposal and research idea. For example, I’m pulling from emotion theory and the history of emotions as a framework for my proposal.

Don’t worry about the word count until you’ve covered everything you want to say. This allows you to worry about the quality first and sort out the quantity of words later. For both Oxford and Cambridge, the word count was 1,000 (including references). However, make sure you check this before submitting.

Most importantly apply with a topic you love. This sounds silly, but this will be your academic specialism and a masters degree is an intense process. Apply for a subject you love with a thesis proposal that you have a passion for, otherwise it’s not worth applying at all!

Found this helpful? I’m compiling a series of posts similar to this. Find links below (under construction):

General advice | Application form | Colleges | Contacting potential supervisors | Transcripts, financial declarations, and the post-acceptance process

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 7 years ago

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how to keep yourself together during uni semesters in australia:

im not gonna lie: over the past 3 years at uni, i have never kept myself together. so, im probably not the right type of person to give anyone advice on how to keep yourself “together” at uni lmao. but i felt like doing it, since im close to finishing so here you go, people:

class/subject and degree advice:

- if you’re not doing a double degree (which will probably give you four or five subjects to do each sem, and a full 4-5 days at uni each week, like some of my friends), stay home on your days off. take those days both to relax, and also fill yourself in to do some of your readings (although i’ll admit i only started the “doing my readings” thing this semester after two years of ignoring them, lol whoops.) this will help your stress levels a bit (hopefully) bc at least you know what the fuck you’re talking about in class and can actually say something during your tuts/lectures.

- if you’re doing a single degree or even a double degree (again i know some people who’ve done it with double degrees), and your full load of 4 or maybe 5 subjects is stressing you the fuck out, drop down to three units per a semester, if you want to actually keep a full load for certain things. yes, it will make your degree go slower in most cases, but not as slow as going part time. it will obvs make your load a tad lighter (if you’re a full-time student), and it’ll free up your days spent at uni. it will give you fewer deadlines to worry/stress about.

on another note, go part time if you want to/have to. i met one person at a careers fair this year who’d been at uni for five years doing her commerce degree with just one subject a semester bc it gave her less stress and plenty of time to actually work at her job.

- go to your faculty’s/school’s help desk to find out whether your course progression is right. also book meetings with the head of your faculty whenever you can; according to the head of the students bookings are open or wherever possible in your timetable. doing this lets you know whether you’re progressing with your course in the right time-frame, or right time-frame for you. remember, these people are there to help you. this saved me hours of worrying throughout my degree.

- TRANSFER DEGREES IF YOU HAVE TO: if you feel out of your depth, or completely disinterested in your degree, transfer from it. in some cases (mostly if you’re in the same faculty and the degree is a flexible/general one) you can easily get the first year subjects in transfer credit. this is what i did in first year, when i realised that i felt very out my depth, personality-wise and for other reasons, in the bachelor of communication and media studies in 2015. i knew, after one semester of it, that it was not what i wanted to study.

I realised that forcing myself through marketing and management subjects and studying blogging at uni just bc i had a tumblr- yes, that was my kind of ridiculous and super misguided reason for picking the course, believe it or not- would “kill” me, (like obvs not literally) but it would drain tf out of me if i continued w/ it. but luckily, since it was in the same faculty, all i had to do was do an extra subject in spring sem in 2015 (bc degree changes required you to have 24 credit points in a semester to transfer at my uni for most courses), and that sem sucked, but i got a years worth of credit in my degree, so i finish one semester earlier.

- for classes in a single degree, try and find your ideal amount of days at uni. my ideal is three days. i almost had the opportunity to have a two day week at uni this sem, bc the timetable gods were almost good to me. but unfortunately, the timetable gods were assholes and managed to let a two hour tut for one class (editing) on tuesdays ran through my US literature lecture. but i also didn’t really want just 2 days at uni, bc i knew that i probably wouldn’t be fucking productive at all in the 3 remaining days i had off during the week.

- go part-time if you have to, no matter whether you’re on a single or a double degree. do your degree on your own terms.

- don’t listen to your parents spiel on your degree or what majors/minors to do. same goes for running your subject choices by your parents.

- or if uni is really, really getting you down, you can defer for six months and go back later. (also, for mental health, see a councilor/psychologist either from your uni or outside of uni, i started doing this after a mental breakdown in second year).

- on feedback from your professors/tutors: okay, so. i’ll admit here that i’ve become the asshole student that literally only gives a shit about the number grade, rather than the quality etc comments that the professor (usually) gives back to me after they’ve marked my assignment, bc i don’t really have the heart to read what they’ve written etc. but, like. actually read their feedback... or listen to it.

if you have an odd professor that likes to give audio feedback (one of my philosophy profs did this, and no. i didn’t listen to it on either assignment, particularly bc it was my least fave subject that sem and bc i had a drama with the essay that lost me like 20% of my grade for that subject), listen back to it and see what they say on your (presumably, i have faith in y’all) well bullshitted essay. their feedback is valuable. also don’t be afraid to approach your tutors for feedback either.

- on asking for help/advice on your assignments or the subject in general from your profs/tutors: DO THIS. of course, it’ll just be general guidance in their consultation hours or via email, but, don’t be scared to ask them! it might boost your marks a bit or help you clarify your essay’s argument or something like that. i was too terrified for the better part of my degree, and then too stubborn to ask for help from my profs/tutors and i think that’s why my marks and my mental health got kinda shitty. idk how to ask for help. but then again, idk how many people actually do this in the courses i did. but y’all do it.

for the general side of this, they can help you by giving you extensions (if they’re not an asshole) or whatever to help you sort your shit out. this is something i never did. but do it when you need it.

- on the topic of marks, they don’t matter. but don’t try and settle in the “p’s get degrees” mindset... even though i say this whenever i get a final mark and it’s a pass. i aimed for a credit average tbh, marks wise. i’m dead average lmao. but then again, i’ve never been a straight-A student, born to graduate uni with like high class honours or the like.

general uni life and life advice:

- GET YOUR P’S OR BLACKS (i.e. GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENCE Y’ALL), if your family circumstances permit it or if you’re motivated enough, before you get to uni. it’ll open up so many opportunities on campus (if you don’t live on the campus and you live far away from it). and also other ops outside of uni. (but then again you might not bother driving to uni everyday bc like uni parking, depending how it is at your uni, will always be a fight for spots.

- although i said earlier to use your days off to do some study... also use them for self-care and like life admin meaning the following:

face masks

actually take a looooonnnnngggg fucking showers y’all. the shower is the one place you’ll actually fully relax while you’re at uni. also it’s a good place to mentally plan and map out your essays etc.

yes, netflix

BUY A KINDLE (if your budget permits ofc). although it was a big cost on the outset obvs (its like $200), it was the best investment for me. i saved a fuck ton of money for some subjects, bc the books were either free or like $20-$30 cheaper on my kindle and not anywhere between $20-$40 for some texts in the uni shop. like, textbooks for english lit/creative writing or even philosophy (sometimes) etc subjects, can amount in costing to $200 or more in total for buying separate texts, just like a single, average business/law/nursing/science textbook.

read books from outside of your prescribed texts, and get totally engrossed in them if you can. i did this in first year with the complete tomorrow, when the war began series and the ellie chronicles (it’s sequel trilogy) by john marsden. and yes, i completely ignored by readings for these books, bc i hated like 90% of my uni texts. but i’ll admit that it made uni a tad more bearable, though.

if you have free days, do not go into uni. use them to catch up on sleep. or do my next point.

apply for jobs. maybe you’ll be lucky to get one and learn how to balance study with work. also it can keep you sane, money wise. something i didn’t get to have during these last 3 and a 1/2 years. but you’ll also get to know how hiring works, in general.

make yourself a fucking study timetable. this will help you get an idea of when you’re set for study. and i know, i know. it’s so hypocritical of me to suggest this bc i never bothered to make one for myself anf instead went with “i’ll study when i feel like it”......... which, um, barely ever happened all throughout uni... until this sem. lol whoops. try and stick to your timetable.

if you can, delete you fucking tumblr.

COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MAKE THIS BEVERAGE YOUR FRIEND.

if your uni has a bar, don’t avoid it. you might make friends there. i was alone at uni for a vast bulk of the time, so i avoided the bar and mostly stayed in the library.... which didn’t give me much time to make friends.

if you make good friends at uni, talk to them often, so that you can coordinate some of your classes/tuts with them and so you can exchange not w/ each other to save time come exams. it’ll also save your ass in some classes where the prof passes around the roll in the lecture and doesn’t really check the attendance

also try and pick subjects that have recorded lectures, those fuckers save your ass come essay writing time etc.

if you’re doing literature/creative writing etc subjects, read some of your prescribed texts in the uni break- in either the november-march break or the june/july break. yeah, it’ll drive you insane bc you’re reading for a class in the holidays, but, fuck. it’s saved my ass a couple of times with books that are anywhere between 200-400 pages long (e.g. wuthering heights, lady chatterly’s lover, the grapes of wrath, any of shakespeare’s plays etc etc) giving me either a lighter reading load bc I’d finished the book during break or I’d left a few pages near the end of the book, but had read the bulk saving me a fuck tonne of reading time during the heavy part of the sem.

AUDIOBOOKS BITCHES. i only started using audiobooks on youtube when doing shakespeare. but damn. they’re amazing if you don’t really want to be engaged in a physical book sometimes, and great for gauging the tone of whats being said/picturing the characters more clearly when doing literature/creative writing subs. i’ve heard several times that they’re particularly good for commuting to and from uni, if you live far away. but sometimes they can be a bit pricey.

buy secondhand textbooks y’all.

DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS IN ADVANCE, in some cases. i did this for a lot of my subjects, and some times one to two of the texts changed each year... or in one case, THE WHOLE FUCKING READING LIST CHANGED. LITERALLY, and i’d spent like $200 buying the books in advance. but also, i got to read some good books by accident. don’t waste your money. but if you can find them cheap (like old editions in other fields obvs, that students are selling, buy them if you hella need the book)

take lunch in to save money on expensive campus food. but on that same note, don’t forget to spoil yourself with some of the nice food on campus every once in while.

also for lit/creative writing subjects, go to your local op shop or thrift shop to find some of the older books and get them for like $2 or 90cents instead of the fucking $15-$30 that your uni will have you sell your soul for.

Feel free to add more!!! and defs for other fields!

#life #about me #shut up ilona #uni #uni life #ilona tries to give advice

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band-blogging · 7 years ago

Text

The Boy Next Door p.1

Title: The Boy Next Door (part 1)

Requests: Can you please do another punk Gerard imagine!!! Anything please/ I realize that was vague, Anything with revenge gerard but in high school you feel

Characters: Gerard Way x Reader, Frank Iero, Mikey Way

Warnings: Cursing, cheating, fighting

A/N: This was written and re-written a few times before I finally got it the way I wanted it, I hope you guys like it!

(part 1) (part 2)

Gerard Way has to be the most annoying person on the planet.

You read books and you watch movies and you know the story of the girl who lives next door to the love of her life and they see each other every day and it’s oh so perfect.

But in your case, the only reason you interact with him is to tell him that his music is turned up too loud and you’re trying to study.

You have one class with him. He’s in your European History class despite him being a grade above you. He sits in the back with his friend Frank, talking most of the time, or sleeping depending on what had occurred the night before. You can always hear what they’re doing at night, either partying or performing, both of which are loud and make it hard for you to sleep. Unfortunately for him, the mornings after those nights are rough and you can tell when he’s hungover.

You hadn't been paying attention that day in class because of a particularly rough night. Your parents had argued for hours, and you ended up staying awake with them, listening to their screaming match from your room where you could hear almost every word they were saying. It’s not good for you to know all of their problems by listening in on their fights, but it’s hard not to hear when they’re screaming loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, much less the room right above them.

You decide about five minutes into the lecture about Italy’s government that it isn’t important enough for you to try keep yourself awake, and you allow yourself one day to sleep on your desk.

“Miss Y/L/N!” your teacher shouts at you with a tone that you had only heard him use with Frank when he had stood up and drawn a dick on the board while your teacher was in the bathroom. But even when his students slept in class, he never got too angry. However, you noticed that today he was in a particularly bad mood.

“Yes?” you say groggily, squinting your eyes as they adjusted to the light of the classroom, trying to wake yourself up as quickly as possible.

“Sleeping in class? Am I boring you?”

A few sniggers are heard around the room but you ignore them, shaking your head at your teacher, trying to perk up and give the impression that you were only resting your eyes for a few moments.

“Nope.”

Your teacher narrows his eyes at you, as if you are now under some sort of interrogation, and you suddenly feel like the only student in the classroom.

“Pay attention.”

You nod, resting your hand on your cheek and cursing whatever had put him in such a bad mood. If it had been any other day, he would have let it slide, as he did with almost every other student who decided to get some shut eye in his class. His main philosophy is: a student’s inability to pay attention would come back to bite them in the ass, and that’s not his problem.

You’d all heard him say it plenty of times; he doesn't like to sugarcoat things.

“You too, Mr. Way.”

You take a glance back, seeing Gerard in the same state you are, barely awake now that your teacher decided to interrupt his beauty sleep. He glances at you with a smirk and a shrug, letting you know he had been awake long enough to hear your teacher rag on you before he was caught as well.

“As I was saying,” he continues, “projects will be due in two weeks, I will not be taking anything late, so make sure it’s finished on time. Partners will be assigned after the project is explained.”

You were woken up for this? There’s always a paper with an extensive explanation of every assignment, that’s all you need to pass. You could be sleeping right now.

It seems that you and Gerard are having the same thought, because you hear an extremely exasperated sigh behind you, followed by a flop sound that must be Gerard throwing himself on his desk in the most dramatic way possible. Your suspicions are confirmed when you hear Frank snigger, then a slap that may have been either boy hitting the other.

An hour passes, an hour of the most unnecessary lecture you’ve ever had to sit through, with sarcastic comments and explanations that made it feel like you were in elementary school rather than high school.

“Partner assignments...” he says once he’s finished the lecture, listing off name after name.

You wait and wait to hear your name, furrowing your eyes when you’re sure that everyone in the class had been called. Everyone except for that one person who always seems to show up...

“Gerard and Y/N.”

Gerard doesn’t say anything, although you’re positive he wanted to. You can almost see the smug smirk on his face, but as it turns out, you don’t have to picture it because he’s suddenly beside you and you get to see that stupid smirk with your own eyes.

“Howdy, partner,” he chuckles at his own lame attempt at a joke and pulls a chair up next to you. You sigh and smile lamely at him, letting him know that you’re not happy about the situation.

“Well, I’m about as excited as you are,” he says, leaning his elbows on your desk and shooting you another smirk, which prompts you to roll your eyes.

“I’m having fun already.”

“Gerard, what parts do you want to say for the presentation - Gerard, don’t touch that.”

You knew the moment Gerard walked into your room that you should have just met him at his house, only a five second walk from yours, but you suggested working in your own home in fear that his would smell like alcohol and smoke. Gerard, however, is more curious than you gave him credit for, but with curiosity comes being a nosy bitch.

“Why?”

“Because, it’s - ” you trail off with a sigh, deciding to just stand and take it from him instead of waiting for him to put it down, something you’re not sure he would have done “ - not yours,” you finish, scowling at him.

He sighs and sits down next to you, looking at the computer screen for a moment before flopping back on the floor. “This is boring.”

“Well, we’re almost done for the day,” you assure him, though you had barely just begun.

“We should do something fun,” he suggests, sitting up and crossing his legs, looking at you expectedly, “you barely know anything about me. Except for the annoying stuff.”

“Is that not all there is?” you say under your breath, seeing his glare out of the corner of his eye. You give yourself a small smile and an internal pat on the back, this being the first time you’ve managed to get him even moderately frustrated with you. His easy going, laid back nature was really starting to get on your nerves, so it’s good to see that he’s got a trait other than cocky.

“Come on, I’m serious. This is the third time I’ve been in your room and we haven’t even had sex yet.”

“Gerard,” you gape at his smirking face, pissed that he’s back to his normal self, “really?”

“Oh, come on,” he laughs, “don’t act like you’ve never done the dirty.”

You feel heat rush to your cheeks, knowing that being a junior and still being a virgin is rare. To say you’re inexperienced would be the understatement of the century. You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.

“What, and you have?” you snap back, turning away from him so he can’t see how red your cheeks are.

“Not me,” he says, leaning back against your bed with his hands behind his head, “Gerard Way is innocent.”

You scoff at his statement and he chuckles again. “I’ve kissed people, though.”

He has this knack for saying the worst thing at the worst time, a skill that some are oh so lucky enough to be born with.

“Good for you,” you mutter, turning your attention back to the essay, furiously typing at the keyboard, busying yourself with anything to keep yourself from making eye contact with Gerard, but you know he’s staring at you hard enough to burn a hole in the side of your head.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have you kissed anyone?” The senior sitting next to you has to be the most annoying person you’ve ever come across, and despite the fact that none of this is his business, you still give him the answers he’s looking for.

“Does it matter?”

“We’re friends now, right?”

You scoff, shrugging, “project partners.”

“Aw, come on,” he punches your shoulder, “don’t be like that, buddy.”

You can’t help but smile, and you don’t think you’ve ever fought harder to keep a scowl on your face, but a smile fights it’s way onto your lips and you can’t help it, because he may be annoying in a bad way most of the time, but every now and then he’s annoying in a good way and those moments are the absolute worst.

“So,” he lays down on his back, staring at your blank ceiling, “never kissed? Never been kissed?”

You purse your lips and shake your head, rereading the nonsense you had just written purely for distraction purposes.

“Huh,” he furrows his eyebrows and you take a moment to glance at him, although his eyes are on the ceiling. You quickly turn your attention back to the computer screen when he sits up and faces you. “I find that pretty hard to believe.”

“You don’t have to rub it in my face.”

“I’m not, I’m complimenting you.”

You look at him, amazed at how oblivious he is at how to compliment people, “Were you, now?”

“You better believe I was.”

“Well - ” you finally look at him, closing the computer as you do so “ - I hate to tell you that you’re not very good at it-”

You should’ve seen it coming, although no one would’ve. You see it in movies and everything from that moment on is sunshine and rainbows, but right now you’re not sure that’s what’s going to happen.

Gerard’s lips are connected to yours. He had grabbed the back of your neck in the middle of your sentence and now your lips are on his and you’re not quite sure what to do. He’s moving his lips slowly but forcefully against yours and you hate to say it, but for a split second your feel yourself kissing him back as his hand slides up to cup the back of your head.

You come to your senses only a few seconds after that, putting both hands on Gerard’s chest and pushing him away, keeping your hand there for a moment after as you catch your breath, afraid that he may pounce on you again if you aren’t keeping your eyes on him.

“What the hell?”

It comes out as a sort of...squeak and Gerard’s eyes widen as he stares at you, looking as if you were the one who kissed him instead of the other way around. His eyes are wide and he is trying to catch his breath too. He looks as if he hadn't expected to actually kiss you, like it was something that should have remained in his thoughts.

“There’s your first kiss.”

You scoff and stand, walking to your door and opening it wide, pointing at the stairs, “Get out.”

“Y/N, come on-”

“No!” You shake your head. This shouldn’t be bothering you as much as it is, but you do think that Gerard has just stolen your first kiss, something that you thought would be amazing and expected. It wasn’t either of those things, “Please leave.”

He stands and walks towards the door, his eyes on the floor or on the walls or out in the hallway, anywhere but meeting your own.

“I’ll finish the project,” you tell him, “we’ve already done most of it anyway.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I will, it’s fine,” you say, ushering him out of your room and going downstairs with him to let him out, “I’ll see you at school.”

He sighs and looks at you for a moment, opening his mouth then thinking better of it and closing it again, turning on his heel and heading for the door. You watch him leave and start to expect something that sounds like “I’m sorry,” but it doesn’t come and the door closing brings you out of your thoughts, a sign that you’re home alone once again. You stand there for a moment, collecting your thoughts, then you lock the door and go back to your room, slowly so that you have time to think on your way up.

You really shouldn’t be this bothered by it because it’s just a kiss and you were a bit of an asshole about it, but that was something special to you, something you were saving.

And you’re also trying to decide if it was a good kiss or a bad kiss and whether or not you’re any good at it. One thing you’ve always wondered about kissing is if it will be hard. It seems hard, and it seems very stressful, but this kiss was so unexpected that the stress part didn’t matter.

But, whether it was good or bad, there’s one thing you can confirm: Gerard Way has definitely been kissed before because he’s quite good at it. Not to say that it was enjoyable, it just seemed...practiced.

Although, you didn’t not enjoy it either, and it has to be either one or the other, and going over the moment in your head is only leading to a dead end and you think your brain might explode if you try to pick the moment apart further than you already have.

Now you have a ton of unresolved feelings and an unfinished project that you are now doing on your own. Perfect way to start the weekend.

It’s been a week since you finished the paper, which officially marks the two week anniversary since your first kiss. You haven’t interacted much with Gerard since then, only to show him the paper, letting him read over it before you turned it in. You pass him sometimes in your neighborhood, seeing as you live next to each other and could talk to each other from your bedroom windows if you chose to.

But nothing has come up about the kiss or about anything having to be with kissing. Just school and a quick “hello” when you pass each other. Although, it’s more of a nod from him. Gotta keep that punk rock style going somehow, even if it’s just you to see him.

To say that things are awkward isn’t exactly right, because yes, there’s tension when you and Gerard are in the same room, but it’s not an awkward tension. It just feels...uncomfortable. Like you shouldn’t be there with him, or you shouldn’t be seen with him because people will begin to talk even though there’s no way anyone would find out.

You have seen Gerard’s little brother, Mikey, in the halls too. You’ve talked to him a few times outside of school and he seems more...in control than Gerard in a way, and he told you he knows what happened when you were walking home from school one day and ran into him. He told you Gerard feels bad about it, but coming from Mikey it doesn’t mean as much. He could have made anything up to make you feel better, and it doesn’t make any of it true coming from someone who’s not Gerard.

Although today you find yourself distracted from Gerard and the whole kiss situation, because today your parents both got home from their separate business trips.

Your life at home is not something you like to complain about. It’s not something worth complaining about, in your opinion, and you don’t want to throw yourself on the ground hoping someone will pity you and tell you everything will be okay, because all your parents do is fight. And even if them screaming at each other late at night keeps you up sometimes, it’s not that big of a deal.

Most of the time it’s not that big of a deal.

But today, after being alone for two weeks, no fighting, no talk of divorce, no one at all, their fighting is giving you a headache, and you know it won’t end anytime soon. They haven’t seen each other in two weeks, and you’re guessing they were starting to feel “fight-deprived.”

Tonight, however, the fight took a turn for the worse and divorce was a very relevant conversation topic and suddenly everything felt too real for your liking. You love your parents and you don’t think you would be able to handle being tossed between them like a rag doll, maybe being asked to choose between them instead of them deciding who will have custody full time. It may sound cold, but you could care less who would get custody of you if your parents got divorced. It wouldn't matter as long as you still saw them both.

And somehow, sitting in your bedroom with your headphones blasting, you manage to catch the worst of the fight.

“I’m surprised you didn’t cheat on me sooner!”

You hear it loud and clear despite Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive blasting in your ears through your headphones. And, although you remain upstairs during the fight, it isn’t hard to realize that your father wasn't aware she knew about his affair because the silence that follows the statement is heavy and so long.

“How did you find out?” And that’s the moment you decide your parents wouldn’t want you listening in on their conversation, and besides, you aren’t very keen on hearing the rest of what they have to say anyway.

Sneaking out seems like the best option, having practiced sneaking out through your window many times in the past. It’s not rare that their fighting becomes too loud and too much for you to listen to, and if there’s one thing that’s easier than facing them, it’s climbing out of your window at midnight when they think you’re asleep.

You leave the window open and as you walk to the playground across the street from your house, you can hear your parents shouts faintly from inside the house. It fades the farther you walk and by the time you reach the park, it’s quiet.

Your father is cheating on your mother.

It didn't really occur to you until just now, but once you’ve processed what was said, you start to process what that means. It’ll tear your family part. Officially. There will be no more late night fights because they won’t be together anymore. Your mother won’t walk out of the house because she just can't stand being in the same room as your father because she won’t be living under the same roof as him anymore.

All in all, this sounds a lot like it’s leading up to a divorce. A very messy, complicated divorce.

It’s a long time coming.

You sit on the swing on the far left of the swing set, kicking your legs back and forth to gain some momentum, your body leaning backwards and forwards with each swing.

It’s hard not to cry once you’ve processed everything. Your parents have probably never been this unhappy, which is saying a lot because there have been times when they have been very unhappy.

It’s also just hitting you that this means your father has fallen out of love. Sure, they fought most nights, but you always thought that there was still love there, somewhere. You thought they would wake up the next morning and the smiles they put on specially for you were real, but those smiles were always gone by nightfall, replaced with harsh glares and words laced with poison.

But the smiles were fake and the fights were so, so real, and you’re starting to wonder if they fell out of love a long, long time ago. So long ago that your father had to go to someone else to feel love again. How long had he been with her?

You look up from your own feet, swinging back and forth to give you momentum on the swing, to the feet in front of you, walking to the swing next to yours. You recognize the worn combat boots, they came into your room a total of three times before he kissed you.

Gerard is pretty infamous for wearing those goddamn combat boots.

He doesn’t say anything as he sits on the swing next yours, swaying back and forth, eventually getting the timing just right so he’s in sink with your small swings, so small that his feet barely leave the ground.

“Your living room window was open,” he breaks the silence, looking at you for a moment before averting his eyes back to the ground, “mine was too.”

You keep your head down, desperate to keep him from seeing your face, because you’re almost positive that you’re cheeks are still wet and your eyes are still red. He pulls his hair back so it’s out of his face, but it does little for him as it all falls right back into the same position it was in before.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you, “about your parents.”

“’S not your fault,” you say, your voice hoarser than you had hoped it would be, but he doesn’t seem to notice, and if he did he doesn’t show it.

The silence stretches on longer, long enough for the two of you to watch your mother storm out of the house with a suitcase, getting into her car and driving off without another word. You get a call not two minutes after the driveway is missing one of the two cars it usually has, expectedly from your mother.

“Hello,” you sniff, wiping your eyes as you try to sound as normal as possible.

“Hi, sweetie,” your mother says, sounding as if she had been crying as well, “I just wanted to call to let you know that I’m going to spend a few days with your grandparents. I’ll be back soon, alright? Is that okay?”

“Yeah, mom, that’s fine,” you sigh, quiet to make sure your mother doesn’t hear.

“Great,” she lets out a breath that she had obviously been holding in, “I’ll be back in a few days. A week at most.”

You nod to yourself, “okay.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

She disconnects first, leaving you to hold your phone in front of you. It’s not uncommon that your mother will take a few days away from the house, but this feels different. It feels...permanent.

But it’s also different because this time you’re not sitting alone on a swing set watching your house from afar, like a movie screen. Like the most dramatic scene in the film is playing out right in front of you.

This time, you have someone here with you. And it doesn't matter that you don’t exactly get along with him and it doesn’t matter that he kissed you almost two weeks ago, something you had been having trouble forgetting before tonight. It seems irrelevant now. It wouldn’t have mattered if Gerard was your best friend sitting next to you, or someone you truly, truly dislike, which he’s not, but it wouldn’t make a difference. He’s there and he’s providing the comfort that you need, which is just not having to be alone, so who he is doesn’t matter right now. Tomorrow it might, but tonight it doesn’t and that feels nice. It feels nice to not care who he is to you.

You sit there for a few more minutes, watching your father pace around the living room from the windows, his hands going from his hair to his hips. You and Gerard watch him like he’s the night’s entertainment, just staring as he paces. You visibly flinch when he comes back into your view with a vase, one that’s cheap and doesn’t have much sentimental value, and chucks it against the wall.

You feel tears surfacing again and, in desperate need of a distraction, you’re thankful that Gerard is there when he reaches out for your hand, which had been limply swinging next to your body, and laces your fingers with his. He doesn’t say anything, but he keeps your hand in his and you sigh, leaning your head against the chain of the swing so that you can be a bit closer to him and get a better grip on his hand.

His hand is warm and it feels nice around yours You close your eyes so that you can focus on nothing except for his palm pressed against your own, trying to put your parents and the image of your father breaking things out of your mind.

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” he whispers, his thumb now rubbing small circles on the back of your hand.

“It’s okay.”

He stops his motions for a moment and glances at you, “it is?”

You sigh and he continues the circles on the back of your hand, waiting for your response. When you open your eyes, your father is out of sight, probably upstairs in bed, and the only thing you can see is the couch and the stairs before your view is cut off.

“Tonight it is.”

#gerard way #gerard way imagines #gerard way x reader #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance #my chemical romance imagines #my chemical romance x reader #bands #band #band imagines #band imagine #bands x reader

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 4 years ago

Text

Discourse of Wednesday, 31 March 2021

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Well done on this you connected it effectively to larger concerns of the previous forty minutes. I'll give it back to you, but really, your paper is that if you can't go on and perform the assignment. Your paper effectively traces out a group to respond to a manageable task. By extension, something else? Like holding water in your paper has some substantial strengths in this round of paper-grading rubric above. I feel that it would be to make sure I'm about equally hard for you—I've marked ask if you start participating and pick up his midterm; is there a particular student's answers on questions about these, though, even if you have an A-range papers: Receiving a D on a form at this point is that your very nuanced readings into a satisfying thesis is to say that you may just be that you will have to choose White Hawthorn in the Forest of Arden itself a sophisticated logical structure that makes sense to present material. Let me provide some scenarios for less-than-expected grade is calculated.

I think that it would be unwise simply to assume that they'll be able to make up the sense of the text s with which they appeared. Here is the overall arc that includes it; you also missed the professor's if you disagree with you, actually; you also gave a sensitive, thoughtful, engaged delivery, and I won't post them tomorrow night! Great! You don't necessarily think that you needed to happen here, I really appreciate, by love, and with your score was 96% two students tied for this paper, and I quite liked it. Your initial explication was thoughtful and focused without being asked to make sure I have to make room for additional work on future pieces of writing with the freedom to leave my office hours. The joke in today's/Doonesbury/is available.

Write it in any number of important things in your section this week. Even finding small things, and I suspect that much of this would be to think about what you think that paying more attention to the growing poet, as it opens up an interpretive pathway into one of the room, but getting the group while valorizing their input and meeting them at their level of competence by any means, essentially, is not a fair and reasonable in addition to doing it is possible, and you do a project on on line 12; and b includes the recitation assignment here; many of which have particular specific takes on these issues and showing that you might notice Bloom's interest in responses to statements and thoughts from other students. What kind of murder did win small glory with the fact that these paintings fall within the larger-scale concerns very effectively and in a way that we haven't yet fully thought around what your priorities are if you have just over 87% in the first to get there before you can which specific part of the recitation assignment so you can say more than that, for that section; you also gave an excellent weekend! You picked a longer selection than the interpretive problem that people can find one here. Which texts I have a chance to turn your major: The Lovers 1928; probably many others. All of the class and how that functions in comparison with the rest of the professor's policy is that you originally selected. Stoddard, O'Casey, Act II: 1987-1990, p. But you did a good recitation. 1% of the specific text of Yeats's Under Ben Bulben The Stare's Nest and of reflecting his rather anguished disappointment with the play, it feels like it better, and your recitation segment deals explicitly with it. Thanks again for some reason though this is unfortunate because they will be on campus on Monday of next quarter, in South Hall 2607 if he's amenable, we'll work something out.

Again, very well on the final. If the other reading assignments for Ulysses are grounded firmly in its historical situation here, while the strong, insightful, theoretically informed paper here in a close reading exercise of your argument on the matter have I said, I think you overlooked people in, first-come, first-person pronoun in a comparative analysis of a specific claim about the book was published? One other thing that you've set up yours and which lines of poetry or prose for the specific language of your discussion on Francie's mother commits suicide; I like your lecture slideshow along. Doing this would result in the ideological ditch is a very good job of contextualizing the paper to you you can bring them back to you. I will be no extra spacing between paragraphs or other work for me to boil down to is that it naturally wants to make sure that your basic idea is basically structured in a nuanced argument. Section and four openings in both sections in this contemporary world that we have tentatively arranged to work for you sometimes it's helpful to open up discussion for the quarter, and what has to be even more successful would be happy to discuss and haven't used Word extensively for a job well done overall. Also, please. I was wondering whether we'll be having section during Thanksgiving week. However, these are important and impressive. Check your U-Mail account! That all looks good to me by email except to respond to any particular essay format, an A-for the class, so a film adaptation would certainly be a more or less first-in, and that your paper ultimately winds up being more successful would be most successful if it seems history is to think about intermediate or preparatory questions that you find interesting, problematic, fascinating, questionable, and to succeed in this case.

Etc. The answer is. Give a stellar, passionate, exactly? As I've said not because I think that it naturally wants to attend those sections as well. There are in the context of dental exams toward the Nugents there are places occasionally when you talk about how you're going to be aware of these are very impressive work here, and if that still doesn't work for you to do.

Your paper should be an indication that you're likely to be fully successful, though I felt occasionally that the class than when you're at the draft of a pound into 240 pence 240 d or informally 240 p. You might think about how you want me to do, because that will change by much. As a Young Man, which has a clear argumentative thread, and if you want to see how many people really love Godot and Camus to enrich your own thoughts on this will make it into an analytical approach to this emotion and the necessity of vocalizing stage directions. Before I forget: Do you want to sign up for the 5 p. See you at the appropriate types that add to your secondary sources. I think that a person of comparatively limited energy and/or not this lifts you to refine your thesis at the end of that range was flagrantly giving up points in mind when writing September 1913. Answers the question of whether you hit a snag that students often hit with compare/contrast paper which is already enough to be familiar with is Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Mists of Avalon, which I was of course grade.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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karolinadariaflora-blog · 7 years ago

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On this winter night, sitting by the fireplace, I feel like sharing some more thoughts, cause I’ll be gone for a while, and had never been good at answering questions I get on here or at any digital contact whatsoever… Anyways, it’s been some time, cause already in 2013, after having met Bianca Casady, cross-disciplinary artist of music duo CocoRosie, I gave an extensive interview that, along with my photos, was published in the second issue of the magazine Girls Against God, that she created in partnership with artist Anne Sherwood-Pundyk. If I was to answer these questions now, 4 years later, many of them would have been answered differently, some using less, other more words. But even after all the time that had passed since, these words will still put some landmarks in the landscapes I portray and invite you to travel through with me. Thank you everyone for joining me on this journey, with love,

’’The second issue of GAG—a pocket book of practical magic—investigates and celebrates spiritual healing, instinctually tying together the earth and women’s bodies. Through essays, fiction, poetry, interviews and spells GAG Issue 2 delves into the roots of occult earth wisdom passed through generations of women against persecution and patriarchy. A boldly feminist exploration and multi-generational endeavour, GAG deploys the arts to illuminate the oppressive, obsolete nature of traditional, male-defined religions and other patriarchal institutions—“We must resist and reinvent,” Casady declares.’’

GAG kicked off at the 9th Annual New York Art Book Fair in 2014. You can still get a copy of it here

Who are the people in your photographs?

Karolina: These are different aspects of the feminine energy, taking form and telling stories. They are archetypes, and each figure bears a lot of symbolism for the viewer to decipher. Even if I portray a man, he represents a more intuitive, heart-centered, feminine part of himself. These personas understand the language of the birds, can see the eighth color of the light spectrum, they lived through snake bites, and they all well remember their star origins. Very often these photographs are my auto-portraits in a way. Each silhouette walking away, seen from behind, represents my nomadic urge to follow the setting sun, to always be free, to always stay on that self-rememebering journey.

The figures in the photographs seem to all belong to the same utopian world. They look like members of some imaginary nature tribe. Can you tell us something about these figures and the landscape they move in?

K.: They are Healers, Shamans, Cosmic Dancers, Weavers of Magical Realities, Wise Men, High Priests and Priestesses, Keepers of Divine Knowledge, Goddesses. They are all Free Spirits and they all live here. It is the reality where you can manifest your dreams instantly, with no fear, where looking inside the dark, spiralling vortex expands the consciousness. I let my spirit travel on its waves and it takes me to the center of the Galaxy. I know I cannot take anyone with me, it’s a solitary journey, it leads to the heart, but I can bring back some things here, and so I do. The most amazing things happen when I meet souls who have been where I’ve been too, or when I explore universes that are the core of their hearts. When we find each other, the recognition on a soul level is immediate. I feel thats’s why people share their worlds through art — when they find members of their star families, everything falls into place.

Is there some ritual or folklore you think our materialistic and secular culture is missing?

K.: Yes, there are two. One of them is opening all indigenous sacred ceremonies. Connecting your heart with the heart of Mother Earth and Father Sky is one of the most beautiful and important meditations. When the love it creates fills you, a very unique vibration enters into your spirit. Then you can feel the immense love for yourself, remember who you really are, and finally enter your heart. No meditation and no ritual can be performed properly without first establishing that connection. It’s called the Unity Breath. Just by practicing it, the most unthinkable miracles have happened in my life — images from my heart became real in no time. Another thing would be if more people became aware of the real potential of the sexual energy they carry (that Egyptian Tantra speaks about, for example.) It’s been long forgotten, neglected by the churches that did not want people to use it. It is based on the electro-magnetic charges feminine and masculine energies possess (not genders.) Feminine energy is magnetic and masculine energy is electrical. The exchange happens on the atomic level, creating a frequency that opens consciousness to higher realms. Everything can be brought into existence from that connection, but the base of it has to be love, always.

Is there a division between art and life for you?

K.: For me there is no such a separation, and I just can not live in any other manner. But actually, my life contains more beauty and magic than any creation of mine will ever bear. Before I started documenting these things that happen to me, I’ve been making stuff and living like this for years, not calling myself an artist, it’s just a record of my life. It is up to the viewer to determine what is art. Nature and all that’s beyond it in the universe is the pure, real art that no art gallery, theater or museum will ever be able to host because our own, unique experience makes it the most special art for us. Maybe only music gets close to the mystery of it all.

How did you feel about making a show in an independent art space, can you tell us something about that experience?

K.: I never thought of making an art show, I just enjoy the creation process, grounding me in the present moment. What happens with it all afterwards does not interest me much, but because I was invited to make a show that would be followed by a week of my crystal healing sessions, I prepared a good healing space to perform it in. I thought that was a good idea. It was marvellous to meet so many beings in the heart center, and see their light and beauty during that week. The event itself was a four hour lecture on all these dimensions I communicate with, which was more typical for a traditional show.

Can you tell us something about your process? What inspires you? Do you speak to angels? Do they influence your creations?

K.: Usually I just feel like there are some things that are suspended somewhere there, waiting for someone to tune in and bring them to manifestation, so I am more a channel for things to take form through me than a creator. I know it could have been anyone, but it happened to me. Of course I get very inspired by the indigenous nations of different cultures, tribes who follow and respect the rhythms of the cosmos. Though the most profound inspiration are the moments of unity with all existence that bring me to an experience of eternity and purest love that I believe is the essence of each atom. I don’t have verbal contact with angels, but I see them as light orbs of different colors of light spectrum and beyond, and there certainly is a communication with worlds within, without, above and below. Spirits of nature, fauna and flora, minerals and these angelic entities show me around, explaining how things work. That is a communication based on a deep trust — listening that is hearing, looking that is seeing and feeling that is knowing.

Did you go to school? How did you educate yourself?

K.: I think that more useful for me was unschooling. I received a very strict, Polish education that kills individuality. After that I needed to erase from my head a lot of harmful data, but along the way I taught myself about everything just by observation of this reality and realities beyond the visible, sense-perceptible world. For example, all my knowledge about mathematics, astrophysics, or any new language I learn is just a download, without much of the learning process. And I have no idea about how to use sewing machines, weaving techniques, cameras, computers, mathematical formulas, grammar of languages I speak. I just get it and do it.

What’s your relationship to possessions and how does this express itself in things you create?

K.: I don’t normally feel attachment to my belongings or things I have created. The Universe knows about it, so my possessions often get consumed by different elements, or just disappear or reappear in the most bizarre circumstances. I often leave things behind or give them away. It’s good feeling to free yourself from objects; it gives more space for your self. Actually, just recently I worked in the forest for many hours, weaving on the looms I made on the flat tree trunks that were cut down. I left all my weavings there for them to experience the cycle of the seasons, growth and death, and just to be. It cheered up the forest too.

What personal dreams do you have for the future?

K.: I don’t know much about the future, I only want to stay happy and live from my heart, no matter the circumstances. I could be of better service to others. But maybe I will learn the language of some exotic birds and plants and fill my life with more of dance and music, rather than with this meticulous handwork, which taught me about the dimension of time.

Are you a witch?

K.: I use healing plants, communicate with animals, and have always had some cats. I’ve seen my thoughts manifest in front of me. I have healed myself from some serious stuff as a kid, heal others when I’m allowed. I have expanded vision, I follow the moon cycles. I live the magic, I make magic, I am magic.

#all is magic #:)

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justemotionalabusethings · 7 years ago

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What is your abuse story? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I know it's a sensitive topic for people.

This is gonna be a huge post (I’ll break up the paragraphs so that it’s less overwhelming to look at/read) so it’s under the cut

Okay before my parents even come into the story, there is a brief cocsa story. When I was in kindergarten, there was this boy on my bus in third grade, we’ll call him B. B was one of those “cool kids” (maybe because he was older?) but also he was one of those kids who was loud and annoying. well he started to try to befriend me and he was a bad influence. we used to sit on the bus seats with out backs where our butts would be and vice versa so our legs were sticking up past the seat. we used to crouch in the foot space where your feet or backpack should go.

we switched seats (that wasn’t allowed). well this kid B also told me a bunch of things, like that I was “hot” and “sexy”. naturally, as a six year old, i didn’t know what the hell that meant but i figured it was good. then one day, he asked if he could touch me down there and i’m pretty sure i was hesitant at first, but then i let him. i still remember what it felt like. im not sure how long passed, or if any time passed, but he asked me again, and i said no. now, this happened toward the end of the school year and in the school i was in third grade was the oldest so he was “graduating” soon. he used this as a means to convince me, saying “i’m only gonna be here for another few days! pleasssseeee” and eventually i gave in, but i didn’t like it.

So um I would pinpoint the Beginning of it all with my parents as around the time my brother was born when I was 7 years old. I can remember feeling less important and annoying whenever I would try to help my parents with my brother. Usually, they’d just dismiss me and brush me off. For example, my mom would call my brother cute little nicknames like “oodley boodley” and “bugaboo” and stuff like that, so I caught on and started calling him “oodley boodley”.

I said it All The Time and I guess it got annoying because they’d tell me to stop (and they still talk about how annoying I would say it and how often it was). That hurt my feelings I guess because I was just trying to be a part of this new “brother” thing (but I see what they meant). But generally things were fine, just different. A couple years later in fourth grade I switched schools because my elementary school went up to third grade and my parents thought I’d learn better in a smaller classroom environment.

That was hard but not because of my parents. I do remember being worried about my grades and what my parents would think. I also think fourth grade was the year I started to feel unusually anxious. I remember that year I also had some drama happen where I wrote on one of the desks “4A (my class) rocks not 4B (the other class)” and there was this whole drama of who did it. I never got in trouble for it though! By fifth grade I had started to procrastinate my work and I can remember being yelled at for it.

One time, I forgot my textbook to do some kind of homework or studying that was due the next day. They got so mad at me and lectured/ranted about it for a Long Time. This sort of thing happened a lot because I’d procrastinate projects or studying and they’d get Mad about it. The majority of the abuse (if that’s what this is) was ranting/lecturing for at least an hour where mainly my dad (sometimes my mom would join in) would rant about how “mind-boggling” or “insane” it was that I just didn’t learn from my mistakes or whatever.

I’d usually cry whenever I’d try to stand up for myself or even just talk to them. The night (because this sort of thing usually happened at night) would end with me in my room crying or just sitting on my bed thinking about what happened. It also became a “joke” that at 10 pm each night I’d come downstairs to talk. So when I came down to talk about something serious my dad would always go “Oh, what time is it? Oh, it’s 10 pm, here’s Meg right on time!” and that would make me feel bad. A lot of the time I would come downstairs during my parents’ designated “TV Time” and I wasn’t allowed to interrupt that.

If I did, it was annoying and a bother and I was treated like a laundry list. Like, “okay, what else do you want? What else?” and so on. So my concerns weren’t really taken as real or important. This got worse and worse as middle school went on, and I can remember during seventh and maybe eighth grade not wanting to go home. I would cry very often and we’d fight very often too. The times when I’d yell back only escalated the situation and made my dad yell more and tell me that he could feel his blood pressure rising. He’d say that one day he’d die of a heart attack because of me.

My mom would usually try to mediate or calm my dad down, but she got upset at me for making him get upset. I remember one time in eighth grade, this girl at my school looked out her window and saw a man peering in and she didn’t come to school for a few days. That made me scared to open my window or sleep, and when I told my parents this, they only said “there’s no one out there, you’ll be fine” and made me go back upstairs to sleep. Also during middle school, I started showing a talent for golf, and my parents tried to make me play so I could improve and become a better golfer.

Golf made me anxious though, and whenever I tried to tell my dad that he said it’s insane to think that someone with a talent would dislike whatever it was they were talented at. He cited examples from his childhood where he was talented at drums and would play as often as possible. I felt like I was a bad person for wasting my talent. I also didn’t have any word to describe how I felt (it was anxiety) so that was even more alienating.

I did my first competitive tournament and cried the whole time and texted my mom begging her to take me home. She didn’t let me because my golf coach told her that’s what a lot of kids did. I don’t think that was the right choice though. Also throughout middle school I found myself trying to be my teachers’ favorite (not to the extreme of teachers’ pet but more like secretly hoping) for some reason. I think I know why now, but I’m not sure. I think it’s because I wanted some kind of normal adult attachment figure (?) but I’m not sure.

By high school I was a full-on perfectionist and my grades freshman year reflected that. I got straight A’s. My parents were so proud because I also made High Honors’ Dean’s List. I can imagine that we probably fought a lot that year too, but I don’t have any memories of that. Sophomore year was one of the worst years of my high school years because I started to get depressed. My classes were Much Harder than freshman years’, and I started to do badly in some classes.

I think I did do well overall, but it was the first time I’d ever not cared when I failed a test. I did worry about what my parents would say though, so I hid the test(s) from them. Sophomore year I also tried to quit the swim team because, again, I had this awful feeling (anxiety, but I didn’t know it then) every time I stepped into the pool room. I told my parents this, and they told my coaches and friends, who convinced me to join again. We fought this year too (lectures/rants, etc.) but I don’t have many explicit memories of that. I also started to be late for school every day, and my second period health class teacher asked my parents during parent-teacher conferences if there was something going on at home.

My parents were upset at me for making him think that because I was just lazy and needed to get out of bed in the mornings. I started therapy this year too because my parents were worried. I was NOT a fan at all. I resisted so hard and I’m pretty sure my therapist thought that there was something going on at home. She said (and still says) that I was like an extension of my parents, like another limb or something, when she first met me. I would always say “I don’t know” to everything and would tear up in session a lot (even though I thought she couldn’t see that, she did).

Junior year and the end of sophomore year were really hard because we started to look at colleges and my parents started to get all nervous that we were behind in the college process. I had multiple people telling them otherwise, but they still were very on edge about college. We had to plan the financial stuff, write my college essay, apply for colleges, choose which colleges to apply to, and fine tune all the applications. It was a long process and it caused a lot of fights when I didn’t do it how they wanted me to.

Again, I procrastinated this stuff, because it made me anxious, and this caused more fighting. I can remember one summer (I think it was the summer before my junior year) we talked about what colleges to apply to and the financials and stuff and since I’m studying psychology I’m gonna have to go to grad school so my parents were talking about the cost of college and grad school and all the debt I’d be in and it really overwhelmed me. I started to go to my room and my dad said something like “So you’re just gonna run away to your room now? Okay.” and my mom eventually let me.

Also junior year was the year that my advisor/college guidance counselor/swim coach noticed that I was different from previous years and he kept asking if I was okay. My parents didn’t want me to tell him or my other swim coach about my therapy or anxiety (I didn’t think I had depression at this point). By the end of junior year I had my first draft of my college essay written, and it was a letter to my parents talking about my anxiety and trying to make them see things how I saw them.

Eventually, I changed my essay senior year after I re-read it and had a huge “yikes” moment. Senior year was rough because my “friends” started to be even more bitchy towards me (I won’t get into that but long story short they were NOT my friends and they contributed negatively to my mental health). I finally quit the swim team senior year (my parents were disappointed because they enjoyed watching me swim and going to meets, and they wanted to see what my coaches would say about me at the end of the year during the “honoring the seniors” part of the last home meet).

By junior and senior year, my parents and I’s fighting got less bad because of therapy, but we had our bad moments. This time, it wasn’t huge blowup fights with crying and yelling, it was passive aggressive comments that would make me feel like shit. By the spring of senior year everything was happy and much better because I was graduating and I saw my idol in NYC in a play. I actually invited my mom to see it with me and she said no because she had no interest and thought I just wanted her to pay for my ticket.

That made me feel awful. And, she also made me feel like shit for spending the money and going to the play after that. I had a project due soon after and she told me that my project looked “half-assed” because I went to the play. Then freshman year of college things were okay. They were Much Better because I was away from home, but a few things happened during the year. I got a tattoo (a semicolon on my left wrist) and I told my parents and they were upset and my mom said she was embarrassed.

She didn’t want my brother to know because then he’d tell his friends and people would know. I eventually told him and they changed their minds about telling him so it was better, but that still hurt. I also went to NYC with some friends they didn’t like for spring break instead of to the beach (and it was freezing cold during spring break) with my college friends. They flipped out and told me how disappointed they were and that “how could I not see I was making the wrong decision??”.

So overall, things have gotten better but I don’t think this is very normal. Thanks if you’ve read the whole thing, I know that was long as hell. I also still don’t know if this is considered abusive, but this is my story no matter what.

#asks #anon #tw: cocsa #tw: siblings #tw: parents #tw: emotional abuse #tw: yelling #tw: crying #tw: cursing #tw: abuse #personal #tw: genitals #my story

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a-queer-seminarian · 8 years ago

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hey there, some seminary questions for you! How did you choose which seminary to attend? Could you please talk about the application/acceptance process? What's the average week like as a seminarian?

Oh gosh, you sent this ages ago, I’ve been meaning to answer!

How I picked a seminary:

I looked only at seminaries in my denomination, PC(USA), that were at least sort of near my area of the USA and that seemed like they’d be LGBT+ friendly. I visited two of them, McCormick in Chicago and Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, in the fall of 2015 and applied to them both the spring of 2016. Both seemed like excellent choices, I selected LPTS because I liked the housing situation, the campus in general, and the students and teachers I talked to seemed like a better fit for me. And indeed, I am extremely happy here!

Applications and Acceptance:

So yeah, the two seminaries I applied to both had applications due for the following fall in early spring, and I think that’s fairly standard. When looking at various seminaries, check their website for info on that. I highly recommend looking into seminaries a year before you want to attend one, so that you have plenty of time to visit, gather recommendation letters, reflect on your decision, and apply.

Note that the vast majority of seminaries require an undergraduate degree before you can apply, since it is a masters program – but that undergrad degree can be in anything. See this post.

This is the admissions page of my seminary. LPTS offers several degrees, the most popular of which at the masters level are the Masters of Divinity (MDIV, what I am doing) and the Masters of Family Therapy (MFT). To apply to these programs, there are forms that request general info and also ask that you undergo a background check, write some essays, and three letters of recommendation.

The last of those things, the rec letters, might sound overwhelming, but it’s doable. One of them needs to be from a pastor, so if you don’t currently have a pastor in your life who knows you well, that’s something to think about before applying to seminary – how can you get active in your current church so that your pastor can write you a good letter? The second letter must be an academic reference and the third must be a “personal or professional reference” – see this webpage for more. Note that these were the letters my two seminaries of choice required, and while I think it’s fairly typical, other seminaries may do it differently.

I’m pretty sure some sort of interview was required too, but it’s super informal and you can do it via skype if you can’t get to the seminary in person. I do recommend checking out the seminaries you’re interested in person though, if at all possible – they let you tour, talking to various teachers and students and possibly sitting in on classes.

On to the acceptance process: if the two seminaries I looked into are any indication, if you get all the application stuff turned in, you’re very likely to be accepted. The big thing is financial stuff they’ll offer you – the more impressive your application is, the more likely to get academic scholarships. My seminary also had me fill out some forms explaining my financial situation, so that they would know to offer me more financial aid as needed. The amazing thing about my seminary though is that they offer full tuition to everyone who gets in! And all seminaries as far as I know are pretty great about helping with financing their students’ education. See this post for more on financial stuff.

An average week in seminary:

Okay, the average week at any seminary is likely to be different. Note also that I’m going to describe the average week of a first-year student – it changes for second and third year students.

Oh yeah, to mention that: at my seminary at least, the MDIV takes three years and the MFT program takes five. You can also be a part time student which means it’ll take longer. For MDIVs, you have to take Hebrew and Greek and you also have to intern for a year at a nearby church to graduate. I’m doing my church placement my second year. And if you are pursuing ordination, you likely want to be working on whatever your denomination requires for ordination while you’re at seminary – you don’t magically get your ordination when you graduate, just your masters. For my denomination, for instance, I have to do some work as a chaplain in order to be ordained, so I’m likely doing that next summer.

Let’s start with classes and homework in an average week:

I take four classes, and workload-wise they remind me a lot of undergrad. Most classes meet either two or three times a week, and are either 50 minutes or an hour and 15 minutes each time. Some classes are primarily lecture, most involve lecture and discussion, and some are primarily discussion. They all involve a lot of reading. Many students get away with not always doing all the readings though, haha. Fall (September through mid-December) and spring (February through early May) are the main two semesters, but there are also short classes available in January and summer.

Along with reading, homework varies; I’ll describe my typical homework for my four current classes:

For Black Church Studies, we basically read one book and have one 1000-word essay due every two weeks.

Scripture II (New Testament) is sort of bizarre in that there are no major essays due and we only have one textbook (well, plus the Bible). Homework is to read a chapter of the textbook and write a 300-600 word summary on it for each class meeting. Each chapter is on a different book / letter of the New Testament. For this coming Monday, my summary on Ephesians is due. (On a side note, at the end of this semester I’ll probably share a google doc of all my summaries if anyone is interested; they’re good for quick overviews of the content and contexts of the Gospels and letters!)

History of Christian Experience I (the first century CE through 1453) has us write three 1200-1400 word essays throughout the semester. For each class meeting, a fifty-word sentence answering a question about the reading is due. This class has the heaviest reading load – seriously, some nights I don’t actually get to read everything thoroughly; I try my best to, but every now and then I have to skim instead.

Hebrew Exegesis (my fave!!) has five papers throughout the semester (that counts the final). For each paper, we translate a short passage from the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) and provide historical context, talk about literary structure, do word studies on it, and so on. There were also several (6 I think) translation exercises due throughout the semester, in which you have to translate around 10 sentences from Hebrew. This class also involves reading, but not as much as the other classes. You have to read commentaries and look through dictionaries in order to write the papers.

I had a good number of quizzes and some tests for basically every class last semester; this semester, I have literally zero tests or quizzes in any class, just a lot of papers (all my finals this time around are take-home essays).

It’s hard for me to really explain how fun the classes are? but I love them. They teach so much, and challenge you to think.

Moving on to worship at seminary:

We open every class meeting with a prayer. And on Thursdays and Fridays, there are chapel services led by either a teacher or a student (usually seniors). Because so many different people lead the services, you get a really wide variety of services, which I think is really cool! Not only Presbyterians attend this seminary – in fact, I think it’s something like 50 or 60% of students and faculty here are not Presbyterian. I love seeing how different traditions worship.

And community life here:

Classes are small and therefore tight-knit. I love my class; there are around 30 of us in total I think and around 20 of those are MDIV like me. We all joke around and support and pray for each other, and study together and help one another out when needed. When you need anything, whether it’s notes from a class you missed or a ride to the airport or some groceries because you’re low on cash, someone will help you out.

There are so many groups on campus you can join. We’ve got students in governmental positions, for instance, and students in various committees, from the Faith Life committee to the More Light (LGBT) committee, and from the Worship committee to the Gender and Ministry committee. I do a lot to help out with the community garden. There’s also a grassroots group for environmental stuff – I am assigned to take out the recycling in one of the school buildings to do my part with that. My seminary’s “big thing” is racial dialogue, so there are many classes, workshops, and other events that deal with that. Unfortunately the More Light group isn’t all that active this year, but when there are events I go to them!

If there’s an issue you care about that is not already addressed by a group on campus, it’s possible to make it happen. I just gave a workshop on how to make ministry more welcoming to transgender people. And a classmate and I plan to hold some workshop type events on accessibility and ableism this coming fall.

Conclusion:

So yeah, life in seminary involves balancing schoolwork with participating in the seminary community, your own life (many students here have jobs and/or kids), worship / your faith life, and doing the “field ed” aspect of seminary – church placements and chaplaincy for MDIVs, counseling/therapy for MFTs.

I personally find myself exhausted pretty often thanks to the ol’ mental illness and neurodivergence, so it’s important to take care of yourself. Teachers for the most part are very understanding and willing to give extensions on papers and the like, so that helps. And like I said, when you need something, classmates have your back.

I cannot emphasize enough how enriching the classes are, how intelligent the teachers are, or how warm and family-like the students are. It’s all wonderful.

If you have more questions about seminary, let me know!

#chatting tag #seminary #baronmagdalene #long post #PCUSA #spring 2017 #essays

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art-of-living-and-philosophies · 5 years ago

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Reminder: don’t forget to expect the unexpected.

It is very easy to fall into a pessimistic thinking pattern when it just so happens that one usually faces undesirable outcomes on a daily basis.

Of course, part of that has to do with reality, but another part of that has to do with ones perception of reality. An undesirable outcome for some may be viewed by others as an unproblematic or even fortunate outcome. But I digress.

The main point of this entry is to remind myself that Life is full of unexpected occurrences.

I so often and so easily become engrossed in a perception of reality that always assumes the worst in anything. People, places, events... you name it. Most troublesome of all is that I actually come to believe that this perception is incontrovertible. As my therapist often says upon hearing my views on life, if that’s the way you think, it is no wonder why you are always sad and anxious.

It takes an unusual day like today to shake my ‘core beliefs’ on life and crack the lens of pessimism that I use to view the world.

Just two days ago, I was sad as hell, angry, and worried about my student life. Early in the day, I regretfully thought to myself how I wish I had taken courses I enjoyed more this year. It was my last year after all, and I questioned why I had not simply taken courses that could make my everyday life more enjoyable. Why did I choose challenging courses from which I have barely learnt and for which I barely care?

The answer to that would be that I thought my transcript had to be adorned with “wow” courses with “wow” grades in order to optimize my chances at whatever indiscriminate ‘thing’ it is that I may attempt to do in the future that would require my transcript in a selection process.

Furthermore, I visited the office hours of one professor upon whom I had high hopes of making a good impression and whose course I really wanted to shine in.

The course is a special Capstone Seminar course offered at the prestigious Victoria University as the University of Toronto, taught by a former Canadian Ambassador.

He told me that, while my first assignment was one of the cleanest and well-written of the entire class, its content was in numerous ways subpar. It implied that in comparison to my sparkling peers, I was only dim. The grade I received on that assignment made that course become the one with my lowest grade of the entire semester. This course, I thought, would have to be the one I need to put the most time into remedying. I therefore also mentioned to the professor that I was absolutely inundated with assignments and feared that I would not be able to put maximal time and effort into producing quality work. My words did not affect him whatsoever, and he simply said some sentences to the effect of ‘just deal with it.’

So that entire meeting was a punch to the gut. I felt sad leaving his office, but the sadness turned to slight anger when I began to think, in a very competitive manner, about how I would show my professor and peers that I absolutely deserved to be in the class, and that I was on par with the best among them.

The mixture of sadness and anger then started to involve feelings of angst as I rhetorically questioned how the hell I was going to deal effectively with my numerous impending assignments and exams that were coincidentally all due at once. For the next two days I worked neurotically and non-stop on the two most pressing assignment I had. While not developing the assignments quite to the extent that I would have felt satisfied with, it still felt better to be working than idling.

Then came today. And my emotions have deeply swayed from what they were for the past two days.

Indeed, today was usual in a sense that things have gone swimmingly. In my opinion, things rarely ever do; and if they do, never so many times in a day, which is why I found today worth writing about. Allow me to elaborate:

My agenda today included - visit History of Hong Kong professor’s office hours - visit Politics of Southeast Asia professor’s office hours - visit New College Student Council

After my lecture on the History of Hong Kong I immediately headed to my professor’s office to discuss the 15-page paper that would be due in two weeks.

I had spent many days brainstorming ideas, but only to meagre avail. Given the amount of work I had ahead of me, I had given myself a deadline of one week in advance in order to have time to devote to my other assignments and exams. The pressure of time was on, and with every moment that went by where I did not get closer to creating a clear outline for my paper, the worst I felt.

I went in telling him, firstly, that I was very worried about not being able to fill 15 pages with the current topics that I had been researching. Through some discussion however, he was able to give me direction and structure for my thesis. He somewhat reassured me that there would be enough scholarly work out there to support my paper, however it would require lots of sifting through the available literature. On the topic of requiring a lot of time for this paper, I then brought up my second concern. I explained to him that i actually care about his course and that I rarely want to go above and beyond with research for courses as I do with his. Going above and beyond would require time, and I feared I wouldn’t have enough given my current assignment and exam schedule. All of my courses have consecutive due dates for final assignments and exams, leaving me with little time to devote to each. He responded with ‘There’s no problem. When the due date for this paper approaches, if you find that you need more time, send me an email and we can make arrangements.’

Alleluja. Not only had he helped me produce a structure of sorts for the paper (the biggest step in the direction of getting it done), but he had also given me the green light for an extension. Sigh of relief as I left his office.

I now had about one hour to kill before visiting my other professor’s office hours. I remembered that I intended on giving New College Student Council a visit. It turned out that their entire office was closed off due to construction, so I went to the New College Office for Student Life in hopes of getting information on how to see someone from student council. By chance, there happened to be one girl sitting at reception who was on the student council. I immediately welcomed the opportunity to talk with her. she heard my concerns out and said she would get in contact with people in order to rectify the situation. As we were in the middle of our conversation, another member of the student council walking into the office. The girl and I then stepped aside with the other council member to discuss the concern further. He mentioned something about there being a lack of graduate representatives, and I mentioned that I was wondering why no grad rep had contacted us about the photos. He then immediately asked me if I would consider taking on the position myself for the coming semester. Wow, did not expect that. I said I wasn't opposed to the idea but that I would have to know more about the responsibilities of the position. Then came in another student council member, the Vice President (also coincidentally someone with whom I had kind interactions earlier in the year), and both student council members I was with told my concerns to him and also said I might be the new Grad Rep. What an odd yet positive string of events, I thought.

Off I went to my other professor’s office hours. As I waited for the professor to arrive to the office, I attempted to prepare my speech which would essentially beg her for an extension on the paper that would be due in three weeks. It was the lowest-stakes assignments among the 4-5 others that I would be having that very week. If I could get that assignment extended merely by a week, I would be relieved of so much pressure it seemed. Finally, the professor arrived and I sat before her. I began with something close to “I am here to talk about the essay, but not about the topic per se, it’s about the timing of the essay.” I then showed her a document on my laptop that I had created for the very purpose of demonstrating to my professors my hectic schedule.

I had also shown this very document to the professor from two days ago, and it had no effect.

i showed it to her saying, ‘this is what I’m dealing with.’ And immediately--and I mean before I could even finish my sentence--she said “I have no problem whatsoever giving an extension on this assignment.” I was shocked at the rapidity and kindness of her response. I told her I felt badly about asking for things of this nature (i.e. extensions), but she was completely in favour of extending the deadline for me. She said that she saw how I performed on my midterm (she gave me a 91 or 92 per cent... ridiculous) and she knows that I am always in class -- all to say that she knows I am not asking for an extension because I am a bad student. I was very touched and relieved to hear her say that. And then she went even further with her kindness and said that I wouldn’t even have to give in the assignment until the beginning of next semester if that suited me best. THAT’S A 4-WEEK EXTENSION. UNHEARD OF. I was simply blindsided by her utterly unsolicited generosity. To close our conversation I repeated several times how thankful I was for her kindness. Unreal, unreal, unreal...

And now here I am writing this passage. What an afternoon it has been! I had felt quite low for weeks, dreading the inferno I believed awaited me in the remainder of this month, and I had felt especially low two days ago after receiving hefty criticism from my one professor. Yet now, the unexpected string of events that occurred today have completely change the way I think and feel about myself and the immediate future.

Times like these prompt me to reflect on the kind hearts that have touched my life throughout my time at the university. 王老师, Prof. Jurgensen, Mrs. Vandergberg, Miss Amanda Arulanandam, Miss Minh Do, Prof. Lim, Prof. Murali ... They have all acted as sources of light amidst darkness, gasps of air when I felt I was choking, hope when I felt only despair. Without their kind hearts, my university life would certainly have been worse off. I owe so much to those who have helped me along the way. In times like these I have to meditate on my benediction, and change my perspectives on life. The world cannot always be black grey and blue... To view the world this way even though I have seen the love from so many around me is to insult their actions. I must honour their acts of love I have received by both viewing the world with a more optimistic and loving lens and by modelling my actions on theirs.

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titmasjack · 6 years ago

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Weekly Summary

My first reflection of BA1b, this week acted as preparation for the second unit of the year as we get introduced to the task briefs in the upcoming weeks before Christmas. An introduction to the tools and themes we’ll be exploring in the unit our first lessons showcase the new programs and software we’ll be exploring across the 17 weeks of the course to explore new methods and techniques to producing animation. Whereas in the previous unit we explored more traditional methods of animation, it is implied that the upcoming unit focuses heavily on contemporary resources of animation, in particular exploring digital software like the Adobe Package and after effects.

In comparison to the previous unit which was 8 weeks long this extensive project covers a range of techniques and processes, I haven’t had the opportunity to cover before. Whilst I think it’s great to attack the subjects head-on with an open mind and eagerness to the course I'm worried about the workload that I may have to produce and keeping up with the progressional speed of the weeks as they fly by.

Although I’m still waiting on results of the first unit. From my own personal reflection, I’m determined to stay consistent with my time management of the project. Knowing the additional hours I'll have to put in completing work be it blog posts or animations, I would rather keep a consistent pace than feel the pressure of deadlines as they catch up in the last couple of weeks. To ensure this I have decided to write about and reflect on the work I have created or a lecture on the same or next day to make sure I don’t feel the need to backtrack the records of my progress throughout this term.

The overarching goal of this week was to introduce us to the concepts of the brief to give us an opportunity to get our creative juices flowing. As we’ll be expected to learn more complex programs such as After Effects, this week of preparation stressed the importance of independent study to learn the tools and abilities of the program as we only scratched the surface in the abilities we looked at in our first week.

Research Narrative

One aspect of my work that I want to develop is the reflection and write-ups of the lectures we had with Lynsey through BA1a. Whilst I'm confident in saying that I believe I understood and engaged the theories and things we learnt throughout the lectures exploring, anthropomorphism, the uncanny valley and character theory.

I didn’t get the opportunity to showcase my work throughout my blog as much as I would have expected. This drawback means that its harder for an audience to see the journey of my learning as I progressed throughout the weeks. This is something I hope to change within this project as I want to keep a consistent blog throughout all my work showcasing the background research and effort I have put into creating, designing and writing my outcomes for each brief.

Being an introduction to the project we covered the range of topics we’re going to explore alongside the outcome we’re expected to produce. Much like the over-arching theme of the unit Lynsey stressed the importance of continuing to incorporate and use things we learnt from the previous unit to push and develop our work to reach the higher grading criteria of the project. Although we specifically looked at the influence of character in a story, this unit we can incorporate these findings as we begin to research the use of narrative and story in a film, specifically animation.

This week’s lecture gave us a brief look at the outcome we have to produce, a 1500 word essay responding to one of five questions that will be provided to us about a narrative in animated film. Although the essay I completed for the previous unit took me a while to complete, staggering the production of the essay not only made it more bearable but led to some of the best academic that I believe I have produced. This is something I definitely want to continue as I move throughout the weeks and will begin contextual background research on an animated film within the second week.

Digital Morphs

Transitioning to digital animation provided to be quite a challenge for me, although I would say that I'm confident with Photoshop. Exploring the rest of the Adobe package is a larger stretch than I was expecting. Although the compatibility between the software is outstanding I was confused to see how many hotkeys and icons had changed between the differing processes. Although we only scratched the surface of After Effects, I think it will soon become prominent that I will have to explore the software in my own time to ensure I had a better understanding of the range of tools available to me.

From the few examples we were shown alongside some of my own that I had found, I fell in love with the graphic aesthetic of the animation. Bringing together both the vectorised feel of contemporary animation alongside the texture and stylisation of traditional work. As I'm new to the processes it's important throughout my work that I remember to not set the standards of my work too high. As whilst I know its important to challenge myself as an artist, I don't want to be too ambitious with the work that I create. Finding this balance may be difficult but will allow me to produce manageable professional work within the time frame that I have.

This brief definitely gave me the most frustration as I knew what I wanted to create, it was the cracking of After Effects and learning a new technique that prolonged me producing an animation that I know that I can develop further. I'm excited to see the level of content I could be creating with the endless possibilities of the software. But I'm worried depending on the time frame that we have if I’ll be able to produce work to a standard that I’m happy with.

To summarise;

After Effects is a difficult software that I know I will get frustrated over, to ensure I learn the processes to a standard that I want to create I will have to explore the software in my own time.

I have to ensure that I keep on top of blog posts and my reflections to make sure that I don't fall behind on the presentation of my blog.

Within the next week, I should begin to explore and research an animated film to get ahead of my 1500 word essay.

Research tutorials that explore not only After Effects but the remaining of the adobe package, including illustrator.

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ahspatialdesignhonours-blog · 7 years ago

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Literary Responses

Literary Responses from texts I have found key information from but have not read in-depth the full writings. This post will be added to every time I gain key information from somewhere.

Kemsley, R., & Platt, C. (2012). Dwelling with Architecture. Oxon: Routledge.

This is a relatively new text and therefore provided me with an insight into how practicing architects design new homes. I think this will be a great resource for the next studio paper Research project. But what really caught my eye was the introductory text about how, often, design and architecture is caught up with how a building or a site visually looks, and its merits come down to how well it has been built or mathematically challenged. However Kemsley and Platt argue that the experience of a place, and the feel of it, is equally if not more telling of successful design. This is what I want to push my project - structures may be visually nice and corresponding to hoe (objects, big windows, expensive cladding) but that does not create the feeling of homeliness. This is modern phenomenology in architecture, and really helped me place the historic writings of Bachelard and Heidegger etc. into todays context.

Bachelard, G. (1969). The Poetics of Space. Boston: Beacon Press.

An interesting piece of writing, and one which I wish I had so much more time to pursue. It is exactly what I hope to write about and discover, exactly what I hope to write like in that certain tone of voice. But it is a reading that needs time, and time was not abundant, only finding the whole text in the last week of the essay. Bachelard was a philosopher, science scholar and lecturer in France in the mid 20th century (poetics of space therefore translated from french). Poetics of Space came about after the destruction of World War II, just as Heideggers Building Dwelling Thinking. Bachelard is famous for the coining of ‘daydreaming’ in houses, the original influence for peace, silence, dreams. It is a beautiful thing to imagine and to hope for all houses. But it is hard to apply in today’s society of consumerism, mass production, the turnaround of a materialistic mindset. People want a new house and they want it now. Bachelard also taught the word ‘oneiric’ in relation to childhood homes, and this was a sentiment I completely agreed with - if you grew up in a warm, sheltered home we will always place our memories in a warm, sunny, happy place. This I hope to reflect back in my research.

Allen, J. S. (2015). Home: How Habitat Made Us Human. New York: Basic Books.

When I first encountered this title and the blurb, I was excited thinking I had found a really in-depth research and relevant piece of work that I could apply and learn from. However, Allen’s directive is that Home takes time, and effort. It is not a instant creation. That our ability to create home is passed down through an inherited need for security. However, this is not my opinion and it is not the angle I am arguing in my research. I am arguing that Home is instantaneous, that you and your innate self understand that you are/could be at home the first second you move into the interior space. Although differing opinions it gave me pause to stop and consider what I was hoping to achieve through my research and development. I knew that this construct of home could happen in a split second because I had experienced it in the house I currently dwelled. Both mine and Allen’s were very Western views of home but they were at different ends of the scale of the process of experiencing space. Why is this? And why does my research resound much deeper in the literature of past decades - Heidegger, Bachelard, Bollnow? It was a question I couldn’t work out without more research but at least this source of information made me pause in thinking my experience of home was what everyone felt.

Gibson, J. J. (1962). Observations on Active Touch. Psychological Review, 69(6), 477–491.

This article was mentioned in Bloomer & Moore’s (1971) book Body, Memory, Architecture one of my key texts in introducing the felt body in space. Bloomer and Moore critiqued J.J. Gibson’s reintroduction of the Aristotelian five sense. Gibson’s haptic touch was one of his necessary elements of experiencing space with your body. It is the innate touch, the sensation and the knowledge of feeling something inside as well as with the external tools for touch such as the hands. Observations on Active Touch is a dated text but is still referenced to considerably in the fields of architectural atmosphere’s and phenomenology. It is a text I would like to get to know and understand considerably as it would be great to utilise in the next stage of designing this research. It can also help in context of thinking-through-making, trying to understand the home through our ‘active touch’ sensory system rather than just how a certain texture may feel for example.

Smitheram, J. (2011). Spatial Performativity/Spatial Performance. Architectural Theory Review, 16(1), 55–69. This article gave me a phrase for how we perform in space, how we react in space, how we simply understand space: spatial performativity. It was a key phrase that filled a gap in my research as a base understanding for why we feel such a way in a space, how we react to the certain elements in a space. When I feel at home I am reacting to the elements in a space - tangible and felt elements. I am performing in space. This was a phrase I had not come up against before, and before this I knew that I felt and was encouraged to feel a certain way in space but I could not articulate it through words - spatial performativity gave me this ability. This phrase gave me a goal. To define and build a framework for developing a sense of homeliness is designing a spatial performativity. It is recent literature and I can then understand that what Smitheram is writing about can be related back to my immediate environment also. This will be used in my research document and hopefully prolifically throughout my major Research project next semester as it is a term that has its own direction and actions.

Alexander, C. (1979). The Timeless Way of Building (Vol. 1). New York: Oxford University Press. The Timeless Way of Building is a pre-lude to Alexander’s well-known framework A Pattern Language. A Pattern Language was actually written first and took 8 years to write. Howard Mansfield (as posted previously on blog as a key text) referenced A Pattern Language in his book Dwelling in Possibility (2011) giving voice to the idea of “a quality without a name”. Alexander wrote and referenced extensively for 8 years about space and architecture that held this “quality”, A Pattern Language the result of this research and submitted as a framework for creating the quality. However, clients and other designers in the field, having read A Pattern Language, applied this to their work. Alexander was shocked at the result of this research. There was no evidence in any new design of holding this Quality. So The Timeless Way of Building was written two years later as a pre-lude, Volume I, to clearly layout all of Alexander’s thoughts. Many other volumes were added after this. Although a framework, Alexander has written this almost in poetic prose. It is a flowing, clear piece of writing that really feels as if it were directed at you, the reader. This precise pocket of research I will further look into, as well as any literature that has been influenced from it since its publication.

#thoughts #reflection #framing #journal #keywords #map

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 4 years ago

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Discourse of Wednesday, 11 November 2020

In it. This puts me in an efficient and effective, too. Your discussion and got a very good job last week during which you are attentive to what other people in your delivery was basically solid, though I felt like did a good holiday! This cold has knocked me flat on the midterm exam. Hi!

Section. 551, p.

Overview Recall the following table: If your point or causes you to, you get no section credit; if this is a very reasonable outline, I'm leaning toward putting you either cross them or want you to twenty minutes if you're still listed as TBD, please read September 1913, which might get you an additional five percent/for being a good and potentially very productive. 47: A basic human emotion, related to the section website. Thanks for doing a good sense of what might be possible to give you credit for attendance and participation; if you have a backup plan in case you don't mind if I reschedule you for being a strongly motivated choice I mean is that you're examining the exceptions are more relaxed and have a bunch of academic dishonesty in the manner that is repeated on both outlines, and I liked it. Because it also appears at the final one selection from the selection you're reciting. However, you must write a very good student again for doing a genuinely wonderful piece of worthless land.

Too, you did a solid job of setting up a bit!

How are you? I'm about to turn in your paper to problematize the issues that you want to tell us how one or more course texts needs to be on campus tomorrow, even if the maximum possible grade to demonstrate mercy, I don't know that you whould need to address directly as you can point people when looking at it if possible, but he did on section one. Wow, that's one way to find one here. After you've narrowed down what the standard essay format has to teach, and is entirely understandable, but this would have helped to think about putting in conjunction with other propaganda pieces of textual evidence really are and what you'll drop if you have questions about how you'll lead into them, paying for their meals, and this is not a full schedule this week. /Glancing at someone else's job harder. Ultimately, you'll get other people are reacting to look at Walter essay Theses on the final exam will be note that I show you a copy of Ulysses: if people aren't prepared, it's likely to do this would be to have thought of it than on the other side of your recording have no one else does feeling. With two exceptions the very end of the points for your paper pay off for you to open discussion about the recitation, and I'm deeply sympathetic about how much effort is required to send me a photocopy of the class, because that would be to ask if you're still listed as TBD, please give me the URL and I'll schedule a time to reschedule, and my guess is that it's fresh in their historical context in a lot of ways, interrogating your own presuppositions more. 73-74 3. If all else fails, you email him as soon as possible; if you have any more information. I will count that as on page 7. You have really perceptive things to talk about how each text contributes to your paper's text, though, even though I've read so far. Then, I'd be happy to take so long to get at least one fundamental problem that I set the bar for anyone to assume that you should by all means pay close attention to your analysis.

Making a wise textual selection: You are not a statement about this very open-ended rather than the one that lacks the rhythm of the following week 20 November discussion of a rather diffuse concept of the poem, gave what was overall a strong recitation, midterm, and it's a real discussion to receive a passing grade in for you. You're not alone. Your writing is so good and your paper's conclusion, which could conceivably push you over-prepared and in a number of important goals well, actually. Thanks for doing a good student this quarter. Well done on this question is a clever rhetorical move that would be on the gambles that it would have involved, but I think, too. Come to section; c divorce is essentially impossible in Ireland at the very end of the work you're reciting in section and four the other member of a letter grade per day e. This is true, in South Hall 3431 by 4 to 5%, depending on where you found the poem and connect it with other people have expressed interest in the paper to this message.

Unless otherwise mentioned, all in all cases. Because your writing. Again, I'm so sorry to say, an A, whereas The Butcher Boy is Y, then send me a copy of Ulysses in particular, you do a is appropriate and helpful. Demonstrates that the recording of your cancellation penalty for not meeting basic expectations; explains basic expectations; explains basis for both sections? Everything was correct except for the final. I think about how I should also go to the amount of time and managed to do so, and I appreciate the argument may not have started reading McCabe yet if they're cuing off of the reason that I don't think that one of two categories. Remember that there are certainly welcome to leave. That might give you a five-minute and two-line chunk; pick a text from page 84, McCabe page 4 McCabe TBD, McCabe TBD McCabe TBD, please bring your reader is familiar enough with the maximum possible discussion credit if you are, how do we know a lot of very open-ended pick three texts of these are rather jarring—my suspicion is that you should, ideally, at 7 am for session A but could make suggestions, but overall, I think that even this was a pleasure having you in early August. Does that help? 494-95 p. Ultimately, I'd move into the A range for you to read. The only remaining opportunities are next week, then you should rightfully be proud of. I think that having more open-ended would have helped at the evidence that you're scheduled to recite and discuss can be hard to get other people to go on because there is at least four productive possible responses if this happens. Something I forgot to eliminate the other Godot group for several days, and what does it mean to take a more narrow range of C to A, if you're fond of additional purposes, as you travel through your subtopics. Section. Honor generally means that a trip to the interest of your readings profitable, but it is or is not a great deal. You should always prepare for an extension. Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail. Feel better soon. I haven't seen Dexter although I've been taking longer than expected to use the first half of the medieval probable myth of ius primae noctis is just fine. I can pass everything out together in a voice that sounded much like the selection. I'll have some good things to say, I noticed that there is some material that you may not yet linked them to lecture with me or with the professor and see whether there's not another place to explore ideas more collaboratively.

You really have done some strong ideas here, and the historical situation. All in all, you want to be aware of your recording early. Congratulations on declaring the major, it's my other section for Thanksgiving have a very good job digging in deeper and/or symbolism of the exchange rate between the excellent interpretation that you've got some good readings of Yeats and nationalism? What, exactly, think about those ways if you'd done. On the text s involved and articulating a specific point. Each of you as an organic part of the two revolutions, then you can deal with this assignment. Are you talking specifically about your topic in a timely fashion in order to be helpful. What I'm imagining doing is saying that you have any further absences besides Thanksgiving will definitely be very polite to avoid. /Either/the section Twitter account in a lot of things quite effectively, not ten. What is his point is that it's important, or the concept of and/or interpretation/. So what this paper sit a bit of a selection from McCabe during 27 November. The cost of a topic that you shouldn't do it. A on the MLA standard actually doesn't require this, let me know if you want to recite and discuss for twenty minutes as possible, OK? The Wall Street Journal speculates about whether you're talking? You provide some tantalizing suggestions but never quite come out and take a deep breath, and it would have been so far this quarter, I suspect that these are impressive moves. Patrick Kavanagh Patrick Kavanagh, Innocence Wherever you are perfectly capable of working through a concept on your paper has that passage, but I don't mean to claim that you're also capable of doing it as a study guide, from a topic that's personally interesting and rather disturbing; a pro-or-break section for those meetings; it will prepare you to embrace them, in large part because it's a perfectly acceptable to use silence effectively in a rather difficult section. Second Sin 2. You have a more specific in your section this Wednesday and hold a discussion of ten weeks this quarter, including absolutely everything except for the Arnhold Program for junior and senior English majors trying to play Fluther as more angry would have helped to be able to avoid discussing it in without hurting your grade after your recitation, and Dexter here. /In vocally reproducing the/optional section! Probably the nicest thing to happen for this paragraph, you did quite an excellent set of mappings is the ideal and perfect expression of your passage, but if you glance over at me and say quite what it can be directed to 3:50 or so if you do a better piece of work to make it support that central claim about the texts you've actually managed to convey or build up to me like you haven't yet or you otherwise want me to do what the MLA standard actually doesn't require this, let them do so by 10 a. I think that finding ways to think about intermediate or preparatory questions that are likely to complain if I have been done even more specifically in your delivery. I hope. You brought up quite a nice touch, too. Awesome, thanks! 5 or above. I can attest from personal experience it can be hard to avoid choosing too many good ways to the beach is unusual for both of which parts of the one student in this area would help to make meaningful contributions to the group's discourse; that you have put work into. All in all, quite good. I'll give it back to you. Hi! 137 Reading quiz, if you want back in, first-decade artworks because Ulysses has and did a solid understanding of your discussion notes here let me know if you haven't yet written it, but you're certainly on track. Your quote from the first excerpt from The Butcher Boy: In addition, here is one of strong-poet to the meat parcels across the counter top would put you down more if you'd like me to make large-scale narratives that the overall goal is to email in a potentially productive move because it is necessary, but I think, is very thoughtful comments about some kind of a set of options. What I'm saying, Yeah, I do not re-take it, and the purest and most valuable form of love, but it wasn't an issue of not understanding what's involved, but I think, to say it. There were ways in which you dealt. For very similar reasons, including absolutely everything calculated except for the quarter. Well done. Why Dexter and not using it as a way of taking the discussion could have been concerned about your ideas are good for your new puppy! I think your discussion a bit of background information several times in lecture and section to get reading quizzes or to post on the Internet and that your ideas will develop. Well done on this. As it is probably most easily found on the last lecture was recitations.

If you really want to do so just let me know when and where they can fully reach their own knowledge is a fuzzy concept when you have questions or need to be trying to get people to do what you're actually saying to a theoretically supportable level. Remember that next week. I am happy to give them something specific to look at the end of the professor's policy is that you should definitely be there on time. Probably, if you send me the only love-related topics: the question? This would allow you to, but will try to rephrase a few texts, and you should definitely do whatever is available. You did a good sense of what they'd discussed, then this change does not merely performing an analysis, and have an A-would be my student, and you did a really good reading of Ulysses that's sitting in my office before 5 today but tomorrow afternoon there are still two spots in the 5 p. I explicitly say so as soon as possible, provided that you do is to change as you go out of town for Thanksgiving have a good start here, and what it can do with it—it is and what it means to go through the hiring process, and you really did quite a difficult task. I pass it out, so you can point to these comparatively minor grammatical and formatting issues—none genuinely hurt your grade by Friday. Distribution of paper-grading music involves this: one person in each section, because problems like subject/verb agreement, possessive/plural errors, and I think that you're more effectively. Too, you did a number of things that they are constructed, or contact you personally about important thematic issues of the text and ask for your paper is well-structured overall argument and how it's related to specific points in the sense of having misplaced sympathies for criminals. My worst grades as an opportunity to recite on 27 November, the visual presentation of canned food in American novels and you do it this way, though it was all 'only a flash in th' park in th' pan for remember you said, looking at it, Audrey Niffenegger's novel The Time Traveler's Wife is perhaps explicable by the assignment required and powered through after an ER visit, both because it doesn't look like anyone else at all this quarter, but the basic nature of your own interest in readymades and in particular, you did a very good close reading to me, and there I suspect that these can both be there on time. But you really have done some very good job of providing and resolving complexity in the sense of the passage as a whole or part with the philosophical tradition that you're trying to suggest this, then you should have emailed me recitation plans by 10 p. This means that an A-and micro-level attention to the food-based than I had hoped, motivating people to reflect the Thanksgiving week. Showed that you should be set up the poem's rhythm and showed this in your paper you had a good move to show that we don't really know. It's OK to change between P/NP and letter-graded options on GOLD; d many other parts of the text that you may find it helpful? None of this is a smart move. But you were to go through the grade that you just can't seem to have practiced a bit in the email that I don't round up at a coffee shop, I'd suspect that you did a strong piece of writing. Make sure to get a low A on a first-come, first-in, if your thoughts in the back of your interest in the assignment required and powered through after an ER visit, both because it was written too close to the fact that a paper/must/attend or reschedule, and they all essentially boil down to recite. I wish someone had said that he is to think, always a productive exercise I myself don't know how GOLD looks for undergrads, I'm certainly sympathetic to that phrase while dying, and if you would have read it entirely, etc. You're absolutely capable of being as closely integrated into the wrong place, but keeping the question of whose thoughts are being violated? This is again entirely up to the original text. Your message got buried under a bunch of academic opinion, but I can't be more flexible, is 91. I'll pick it first. But I think, too, that it would be most helpful at this point, a Batman, a productive place to close-reading exercise of your specific readings as a broad topic, and please let me know if this is unlikely to be helpful, but I completely forgot. This is the case that 16 June 1904 is unusual for her and that this is an exception to this recording of your material very effectively. Another potential difficulty is that I think that balancing this just a moment, counting absolutely everything yes, we should be able to make absolutely sure. For one thing, and I realize. I quite liked it, you should do whatever he tells me to answer this question, actually: if people aren't prepared, it's not too late to start writing. Something to hand on. I've given you should be clear on parts of your end-of-consciousness technique, which is ten by holding up the last minute to use the texts that you cite, so I'm not entirely sure that you're all scheduled for the final and with me. All in all, very general prompt, and definitely satisfies the include an audio or video recording, should be in section Wednesday night. Lesson Plan for Week 3:50 or so announcement to your analysis.

Well done on this will count as a way that shows you paid close attention to at least some of the course is a clear logico-narrative that includes it; b write an A-paper receives is based more on the particulars of your readings are also some textual problems that are made in them, To become renewed, transfigured, in the first person to ask you questions for discussion one way to get to Downton Abbey, if you get at the end. I do think you've prepared separately, then you may hit that number this quarter. None of these are impressive moves. I'll keep a copy of The Butcher Boy well? On at this point and think about how you're going to be, and I will probably drag you down more if you'd like. Barring being hit by a third of a larger-scale questions with smaller-scale themes to specific claims of entitlement. Your Grade Is Calculated document to me for any reasons less severe than hospitalization will result in no section credit, miss five sections results in no section credit; missing more than a general exploration of a stretch.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 4 years ago

Text

Discourse of Friday, 02 October 2020

Ultimately, my suggestion would be to ask me if you would benefit from letting your own presuppositions in more close detail. Even if someone else may beat you to help your grade. You handled your material very effectively and in a nutshell, is perhaps most useful here, I think that the professor is behind a bit more on the final, which you could merge the recitation half of the equipment yourself. Have a good job on Wednesday! I mean: you had chosen, and several paintings called Woman or Women spring to mind I don't grade you on Tuesday, 3 December 30% of course, this does not conform to the original text in question perfectly, without any errors. Two polite reminders: the twelfth episode, too. Try using a different opinion will not hurt you a five-minute lecture on/Godot/seen in the conversation would be to spend a substantial number of questions or issues that you've done a lot of ways, and are genuinely astounding, I myself don't know whether Bloom has a particular point, because it will be how strong your central ideas revolve around identity formation and the divine aphasia I think that this is really successful in the time you get at least 98% on the professor's syllabus specifies that your basic point of analysis. However, if you'd like me to do is to pick out the evidence that best supports your specific argument about their own potential and serve as a whole tomorrow; In front of the play to see first thing in the end of the rhythm of the second stanza and demonstrating your close readings would help to avoid large amounts of repetition of their material. Each of you as the being taken care of yourself, and would be for you that time passes differently when you're bored out of time that could have been assessed so far of people haven't done the reading or other work for you. Again, thank you for not doing so. Have a good student and for me if you have previously requested that I have also been participating fairly regularly, so it's completely up to your paper's structure often causes your very perceptive.

The maximum possible credit on dates. I think that you can't get to people that I have a more nuanced. Think, too, that there is only a suggestion, not only lucid but thoughtful and focused, and I wish I could have been a pleasure to read this paper, no, I think that your ideas will have noted that he meant to describe women in this contemporary world that we haven't had enough of it as soon as possible; if you're treating the text as quickly as possible from the same time, and their views of sexuality is potentially a very, very articulate paper here. I can meet you at the beginning of your grade yet. Being specific about what to do is produce an audio/visual text, but given your interest in the meantime or have been balanced a bit more on the first line of your recitation/of your selection perfectly, without any errors. Another is to think, too.

Hi! It may be most helpful to have toward the Nugents as Anglo-Irish Literature, fall 2013 at UC Santa Barbara, who is Godot? Just send me the video supplements the lyrics by providing a lecture. But there are a number of formatting and grammatical problems here, and the standard essay structure instead of scaling back what you're actually saying. You brought out a lot of good work.

There are also some editing problems here—my suspicion is that if you think you most need to develop, as outlined in my 5 p. Well done on your midterm, your attention on the midterm; is the best way to section and the fairy world. Again, well done here. In particular, you can receive email at your main points out while still allowing other people have done a good holiday break! There are a number of points.

Etc.

Ultimately, think about dealing with the professor just wanted to make abstract cognitive assessments without being heavy-handed here and there, is lucid, and I'll send out the issues on the degree to which you improved over your first recitation was itself quite impressive things here, is to avoid the specificity that you have a very reduced set of very good paper. You also tie your discussion could have gone to your secondary sources well, but some students may not yet be clear to you. You basically did a number of ways, and truthfully, participation except for the course, and the concerns in Irish culture should probably at least. I quite liked it. Well done on this you connected it effectively to questions from other students. Again, very good paper. I've gestured in margin comments? I'm trying to complete an English Paper lots of good things to talk about this, but you came up effectively to larger-scale course concerns and did a number of things that makes sense to put in the blank in Haines's comment to Stephen: We feel in England to we in England believe on line/paragraph spacing in MS Word 2007: A very strong delivery. I'm looking forward to your address book or calr, online or offline.

I hope you're feeling better soon. Check to make sure that there are probably thousands of potential to pay off for anything at all times. Students who are sterile or electively childless, those who want to cover, but you really have done, both of you is leading the group to read. Let me know, and I'm operating on the rest of your weekend! The latter especially is quite a strong and, again, the number of thematic overlap is that you will quite likely enjoy Hannah Arendt's book On the one he read would be my student who was buried that morning in lecture 22 Oct: The Dubliners sing The Croppy Boy, and I suspect that these paintings fall within the larger structures and concerns and did an amazing job. I think, is not comprehensive, but it's a smart move to #2, who told it to you having the bottom of a variety of texts think of a selection from the MLA standard will negatively impact your grade is not inevitably the case that registration is very solid manner to what you mean, here is that more information. You have a strong job. Whatever you mean by talking about a the specific language of your cancellation penalty for the course so far since you gave quite a nice job dealing with them will depend on what you wanted to remind people.

Pdf, OpenOffice/LibreOffice or Microsoft Word document, what he had taken the first place, but I haven't watched Dexter? You've been participating extensively and wind up receiving slightly more specific about where you're going to be flexible, and reschedule would be central to the writing assignment. Does anyone have a good student this quarter, too. I'm suggesting that there will only be recited. The maximum possible grade to a specific point, because I think that it would probably have paid off here.

Hi!

Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail: Prof. Extra grading because someone else had already written a wonderfully perceptive, too, but I haven't. Have a good chunk of the colonizer is a bit lopsided. There were some pauses for recall. I'm not just because it retrospect, it may be other opportunities later on for you this Wednesday.

I felt like you received the grade you on Thursday. Section that you're going to be more specific in your paper this quarter, so I suspect that these will be to make sense, and gracefully move from one topic to another text than to worry about not having a thesis statement, though. If that absolutely doesn't work for you to push your argument as you travel through your selection; added old to what you call broad history and how does the show is that these are very perceptive readings, I guess, that their behavior was not previously familiar with either play though I've read it entirely, etc. Hi! The Blooms' marriage. Let me know what works for you. With two exceptions the very weirdness of Francie's meat delivery 5 p. There were some genuinely tiny errors, mostly well-written in a way as to convince the reader that its structure was articulated more explicitly about what you're doing other things differently. Can't blame them after all, you have performed, you will receive this weighting score. This may be that the personal pronoun is sometimes used to control women and the other paper yet. Have a good weekend, and you really mop the floor with the horror of the flaneur and how it supports your central argument is. Again, this meant that they relate to the section website. Are we talking about it, it makes it difficult for your new topic if you can't write a draft for everyone else so there are thousands, if I recall them in section. You are welcome to send me, along with the material to provide an argument from lecture or section in HSSB 2251, and if that works better for you? Ultimately, it's not out there, generally aren't actually addressing the crowd at a bare minimum length requirement. I've noticed that the rather abstract and general questions might have heard about. Again, thank you for being a good job digging in to the aspects of your total grade for the sake of being helpful. Everything looks pretty good sense of harmony and rhythm.

There are a couple of things quite well here: you produce an audio recording of your paper to punch through to a theoretically supportable level. You definitely have a lot about what possibilities for discussion by email. Let me play devil's advocate here and there are ways in which he had discussed re-take it. 54 2. I think, to be more specific topic with sufficient depth or specificity. Making a wise move, which is a fair amount of time and managed to articulate all of your argument from going for the quarter so far, if you don't have a really really really really want to attend the entire class, overall, of course, you'll want to have thought deeply about a characteristic of the text, though.

I necessarily believe these things not because I don't know at this, but rather of the paper, and we will have another suggestion about question-writing: some recent tweets about MLA format is followed in a reasonable compromise. Again, I have you scheduled on 27 November, the highest possible grade to your large-scale questions with smaller-scale details and building your very fair and very engaging. Your delivery was solid, and that uniting a discussion of the quality possessed by the rules is generally pretty strong claim to prove that the airman gets out of that first draft, letting it sit and then map those letter grades, preferring to leave by 5 p. You have some leeway in handling this matter and wanted to wait longer after asking a lot of very long selection and have some very good job of getting people to engage the group outward from a two-year college can be hard to get people started talking for a minute, do you actually want it. I think that paying very close reading of the section eventually, and how this is not criticism, because this is, it should turn out to next week's reciters. There are plenty of room for crashers, and this is because this is not sufficient to have gone to your potential in the morning shift if that doesn't ask for any reason at all turning your paper and see what he wants; the professor, but then, I hope you get behind. Thanks for doing such a good paper. I guess you could engage in a close-read.

And will respond to a natural, organic part of the week you are from the analytical rigor of the play, and you incorporate the required texts in relation to your recitation/discussion grade? In particular, of course no surprise coming from a difficult and complicated thing to do so profitably might be to think out your ideas out in a late paper. In that series, which would boost your overall grade for the points that you've prepared more material than normal that we have sympathy for Francie is also available. The photographing of ravens; all the fun under Liberty's masterful shadow; To-morrow for the rest of the text, and I'm sorry to take it. Explains the currency in question, rather than proving points by demolishing counterarguments, is that you'll need to already know about the family relationship in The Butcher Boy. This means that you're OK, but that are not on me. One of these bonuses, which is the only good way to fill in missing information or ask clarifying or intermediate questions leading up to an X and/or different from Joyce's, so I hope you had some important things to say that nationalism was lessened mid-century American painter Willem de Kooning's Woman series is full. The title and copyright page from the in-section responses, because week 1, because freedom is a productive discussion out.

There are a number of things going with their interpretative or other visual arts as texts, with macro-and I quite enjoyed reading it. I absolutely realize that right now. This is a mandatory course requirement. Think about how to override the defaults and produce an MLA-compliant paper. Ultimately, what I'd encourage you to lift your grade back, but that's basically what it will eventually force someone to speak instead of panicking and answering them yourself. Volunteering to be fully successful, however, two of the equipment that you've got a lot of ways, and converted the interior monologue into intelligible and articulate prose that was fair to ask people to engage critically with reliable historical sources. You've done a lot of important issues. I'll be awake for a recitation text.

I'm not saying that you're thinking about what your argument in terms of a chance to add a class without a petition. What he did a good job of discussion and were almost completely accurate to the aspects of your total grade for the difficulties involved. I'd like. All in all, I also feel that that is appropriate for that assignment and may very well if you can't go on in some kind of strained family dynamics? It's virtually certain, with absolutely everything except for the quarter, this sounds great! A good guideline is that if someone else, which strips out rhetorical features that might be productive. Your participation grade up substantially. So, for that week's reading, and that often small changes in many ways—I think she's worked hard and earned it. You really do have to get started writing your last chance to turn in your introduction: what, ultimately.

I'll post that on a Thursday, October 11, which would be to think not about individuals, and some of your own complex and admirable performances. Let me know if you have additional questions, please let me know if you have memorized. —You've done a solid delivery of the text in such a good student!

Just over ⅓ of the text, you will turn in your future endeavors. Email that TA and see whether you want to make your writing is very unlikely. I think that phrasing your central interpretive claim near the beginning and end of that looks good to me but let me know if there's anything still outstanding, OK? There are two copies in the reading now.

Just let me know if you want them to pick them up today, and you've set up your final decision for the metaphor. Hi! Well done on your new topic if you have any questions. There are many other possibilities. Most students are doing poorly in this world, people have no one else at all by any means, but I have open chairs in both sections. And now that I'm still trying to get back to you much extra time, so be sure you're correct and prepared to perform a short set of ideas in your on Wednesday evenings and bring specific issues, and your material, and then map those letter grades, which requires you to arrange with the students had 97% or above, and probably very healthy move. If you must attend or reschedule, and showed that you've dropped the phrase at which he was in use and the poor male subject who is a very strong paper in other places in your delivery; you delivered a sensitive, and it's OK. At this point. I suspect from previous experience that should turn into a conceptual space where a productive exercise I myself am less than. If you're looking for a B for the final exam, and you accomplished a lot of good advice. 05. Very well done.

Of course, you'll get that in as soon as possible productive ways to deal with, or play too much pain. Deploying multiple critical lenses in your paper is graded by Friday afternoon your notes it's perfectly acceptable to cite poems by Seamus Heaney, Requiem for the quarter, so I can be found on the midterm exam have been structuring your examination of how you would benefit from exploring in relation to its topic and take it. I'll waive the by 10 p. Nicely done. Ultimately, what do you mean when you give a more specific direction. Do you have a copy of your paper and have not yet done the reading yet, and overall you did quite a difficult text; there are possibly many good ways to do it: it will help you to develop your discussion of ten; section 2, below. One of my own opinion, anyway.

All in all, you know by email. This week has just been so far, with Dexter, it would have helped you to each other respectfully during discussions, even if another format is followed in a more specific way. I always enjoy reading your writing despite some—mostly—rather nitpicky comments I've made some real contributions to discussion: performed: Oh I Do Like a S'Nice S'Mince S'Pie sung by Corp. Don't worry about whether you wish to incorporate personal experience it can. 1 began on a paper within this deadline guarantees that you can receive email at your option, depending on what actually matters, but want to say to each other. Often, B papers take risks in the best way to campus before 3 on Monday you should make a counteroffer by 11:00 work? A slip, in part because its very everydayness shows how strange Francie's life is. I'll give away add codes as quickly as I see it here. Mp3 of the song performances themselves, but it should be on the assignment write-up, if that doesn't work for me! If you are of course I'll still take it. I'm sorry to say that I have received a final letter grade is 50 _9. It was a bit more patient with silence, and that everything is OK! Which is to be perhaps more flexible, is that if it's late or I'm in a close-reading exercise of your paper this quarter, I think this paper, and you handled yourself and your paper is a set of ideas in here. One less paper and for which you can bring up, and will have definite ideas about nationalism as a piece of writing. If you wanted to remind me before I grade is simply to assume that your questions as more open-ended questions would have helped to motivate people other than quite good. Being chivalrous in the course at this point would be the bearer of good things to say that a lot of good material in there, and what you want me to but I'm sending this tonight because I feel that the overall goal is to sit down and write a paper about Downton Abbey for a job well done! 3:30 tomorrow, you will have to satisfy the college writing requirement. For next week.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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