#at least 2 exams
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writhing around because i have to spend the next two and a half days on campus for class before i can go home for the week and get my isopod tank set up. not to mention all of the essays and other work i have to do
#queued rambles#i have like. what#a presentation tomorrow (in a group. fortunately); an hour of writing to a philosophy blog that i forgot about for the entire semester#2-3 multi-hour homework assignments for programming; a programming test on tuesday (with a page of notes. fortunately)#a 10 minute programming presentation tuesday after next complete with an entire website#a 10 minute french conversation that i don't want to do#3 multiple page essays#at least 2 exams#all within the next 10 days#at least 4 hours of menial work. 90 seconds of presenting that is specifically my own + another 10 minutes of the same for a different clas#3 tests/exams#3 3-4 page essays#an entire website#um. at least i can make my isopod tank 2.5 days from now
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I know Cedric just died and Draco was dying but something about Sev in these two scenes just made me forget everything and everyone around me.
#severus snape#professor snape#alan rickman#harry potter#harry potter and the goblet of fire#harry potter and the half blood prince#snape#snape love#snape fandom#snover#i want him so bad#there are actually a lot more of these scenes#like him teaching harry occlumency or during his speech in deathly hallows part 2...#not my gifs#and now i go back to learning for my exam or at least trying to because i don't think i can get these images out of my head...
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A redraw of an old thing because exam season is the only time i get creative energy ig
#but no fr i just came home from 2 consecutive exams. like consecutive as in one after the other in 2 hours#next week is all finals and theyre all like 2 hours 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon like bro#whatevs tho medical update THE MEDS ARE WORKING alhamdulilallah i feel im getting way more energy :)#2 years on immunosuppressants and at least 3 months of corticosteroids which means no salt :( BUT we are getting thru it#im cooking again :')#ok enough my life is not what you're here for. idk if cbeeduo at the end of 2023 *is* but idc#i just rly missed them yk and the vibes and the place i was in plus i have fun drawing them so suck it#i hope my good cbee mutuals enjoy this love yall#my art#dsmp fanart#cranboo#ctubbo#cbeeduo#fashion notes for the cool peeps still reading is i am dying on the hill that cranboo was decked in a 70s aunt wardrobe argue with the wall#also tubbo cowboy cus. like. look at him.#will probably draw tommy next i rly miss him. nothing big as always im a doodle kinda guy at heart#anyway xoxo love yall still here <33#fennec.art
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H.K. & H.K. 🥹💖✨ khr x sanrio collab will always live rent-free inside my brain
#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#hibari kyoya#my last drawing for a while; i'll be dipping now bc of exams#logically speaking i definitely shouldnt have even done this art bc im struggling already#but im suffering from hibari withdrawal and my hand itches to draw him!!!#this will feed me for the next 2 weeks#anyway#this collab feeds at least three agendas in my brain#1) hibari is a cat type of person#2) hibari with cat ears agenda#3) canon/oc agenda bc of the apple pin on the necktie#(i know it's bc hello kitty's height and weight are in apple measurements + her fave is her mom's apple pie----)#(but listen...kana's main emoji symbol is an apple bc of her name hahaha + apple of knowledge symbolism bc of her lore where ----#*stops self b4 i write an eight paragraph (minimum) essay*#einart#this won't be the last time i'll draw this hibari ehehehe...#einhighlights
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coordinating strategies
#i know what you're thinking WOOOO VEST TWO POSTS IN TWO DAYS AFTER SO LONG OF NOT POSTING ANY ARTWORKS YOU ARE SO PRODUCTIVE#thats at least what i would like to belive#truth is i was pretty busy with failing my statistics exam for the 11th time in 2 years and my (theory part of) driving license for 5th#but HEY NOW IM BACK WITH SOMETHING#hunger games fanart#the hunger games#thg fanart#art tag#persephone price#the ballad of songbirds and snakes fanart#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#festus creed#10th hunger games#tbosas mentors#persephone price fanart#festus creed fanart
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I have a (emphasis!) Huge exam this weekend and I am. wholly fucking terrified.
#its 8 hours long lmao#taking it over 2 days but still fml#i am so worried#i cannot get my degree without it#need all the positive vibes#at least once its done i can write fic with reckless abandon!#the speaking clown#also you dont even want to know how much it costs just to Take the exam
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Who would have thought that the exam session would give me so much motivation to draw different art. In any case, keep the atmospheric winter komamiki, the sketch for which I had abandoned. But I decided to finish it now.
Collaboration, where did I get the outfits from:
#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2#komamiki#mikan tsumiki#nagito komaeda#I'm going to die on the exam tomorrow#this is my despair#followed by a bright hope...#At least I want to believe it 🥲
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The Accident - Part XVI
Atsumu x fem reader
Warnings: Stalking, kinda dry humping
Words: ~ 2,5 k
About: Y/n and Atsumu finally TALK. And more.
Part I II -> Next Part
A yawn escapes your lips as you slowly open your eyes to a dimly lit room. It's probably the middle of the day, judging by the way it looks outside. You surprisingly feel fully rested, with Atsumu still peacefully snoozing behind you, his arm loosely draped across your stomach. Your mind races back to the events of the previous night, causing your heart to skip a beat.
That woman.
Atsumu needs to do a lot of explaining to make up for that. If there is even a way to make up for that. You still don't know anything about her, but she for sure gives you the chills.
Maybe it was a mistake. To stay with him- even in the same bed, and to allow your heart to get that foolish hope again. But you're just human, and it seems like your heart isn't so easily convinced that he's not good for you.
You sigh and reach for your phone on the nightstand, noting how late it is—2 pm. Shocked by the time, you check your messages and spot surprisingly many from Osamu Miya and hesitantly tap on them.
Osamu: hope yer alright
Osamu: let me know when you’re home
Osamu: did ya fall asleep?
Osamu: thank you for your help. I owe ya. Call me if ya need anything. Stay safe.
Osamu: good morning. Grab that idiot and come over to Onigiri Miya when yer awake. Or come on your own when he messes up. Drinks are on the house for you.
Osamu: not for Tsumu tho. He can pay double
A smile plays on your lips as you respond quickly.
You: hey! Sorry for the late reply, I fell asleep. Atsumu‘s still sleeping. I‘ll talk to him and let you know if we‘re coming. Thank you for the offer! :)
Osamu: sure. see ya
You: see you :)
Your attention is diverted when Atsumu stirs, his arm now wrapping around your waist as he clumsily pulls you closer. He groans and nuzzles against your neck, a sound that sends a shiver down your spine. Is he aware that it's you he's holding? And does he even remember last night? You somehow doubt it.
"Y/n?" he mumbles after a moment, and your eyebrows shoot up, but you respond with a soft hum and nod.
"Yer—how?" he slowly questions, his face still heavy with sleep. You gently take his hand and remove it from your waist, scooting away enough to turn and face him. His eyes are tired, his expression soft while he fights to fully wake up. You just hope that he doesn't feel too horribly after all that drinking. His team will kill him for sure if he has practice today. You really hope that it's his day off.
"I brought you home. Remember that you had a few drinks at Onigiri Miya's?" you say, trying to sound neutral, though bitterness lingers in your tone. He stares at you blankly until embarrassment and guilt crease his features.
"Yeah, right. I'm—y/n, I'm sorry for that. Thank ya for bringin' me home. I'm just kinda... havin' a hard time." He closes his eyes for a short second and takes a deep breath. He suddenly looks so exhausted that it almost breaks your heart.
"Hard time with what? Work?"
He shakes his head, closing his eyes again, and a weariness settles over his face, despite the ample sleep you both received. "Work's fine. Great, actually. Gotta play with some real amazin' players. I even got to see Aran often again; that's fine. Just..." He opens his eyes, sadness evident. "Just?" you prompt, your heart skipping a beat at his gaze. You know that it has to do with you—you just don't know what exactly it is. And the urge to interrogate him is burning strong in your body.
"I never got the chance to talk to ya after that night," he admits. You nod, urging him to continue, to finally give you some answers. "I wanted to apologize. For kissin' ya. I made ya uncomfortable, ruined everything."
Your confusion is palpable—just what is wrong with him? He should tell you about that woman and not that! And that definitely didn't sound like he wanted to do it again, which feels like a stab to your heart and somehow angers you.
"Uhm... Atsumu, that was not quite what I expected. Like, sure, I've been thinking about that kiss and my feelings for you, but I was more taken aback when you blocked me and invited another girl over, literally the same night we had our kind-of-date."
His face drops after listening to you, confusion and worry etched on his features. "What are ya talkin' about? I never blocked ya, and I sure as heck didn't invite any other girl here. Hell, I don't even talk to women outside of work. Who should I bring here?"
"Brunette? Perfect smile and wearing one of your shirts? Could hardly miss her on my way down. Or when we met her yesterday. Do you have her over at your place every night?" you retort, ignoring his repulsed expression at your description of her. You could almost believe that he doesn't like her at the way he scrunches his nose.
"Her? Ya met her? Yesterday?"
You nod, narrowing your eyes as you recall her vicious features after that scene. But wow, you were definitely embarrassing. How you acted possessively towards Atsumu. Will she laugh about it with him as soon as they meet each other again?
His reaction surprises you, though; he suddenly reaches for you, pulling you a bit closer. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for gettin' ya involved in this. Are ya okay? She didn't do anything to ya, did she?" You stare at him, confused, and shake your head. His worry confuses you. Why bother after not talking to you for so long?
"Can't believe she dared to come here again. If ya ever see her again, you have to call the police. I have a restraining order against her." Your eyes widen surprised at his words and you frown.
"Restraining order? Is she... like a crazy ex?" Dread fills your stomach at the thought, and a suspicion arises within you.
He slowly shakes his head. "She's a very obsessed fan, to put it nicely. She's been stalking me for a while. Started innocently; I noticed that she came to Onigiri Miya every time I was there too. Then I noticed her when I went for walks every other day, always waitin' at the same spot for me and trying to talk to me. And then one day, I noticed that stuff from my apartment started to go missing. That was like two years ago. I contacted the police after I caught her breaking into my apartment, and she got arrested. Haven't seen her since then, but she started showing up since that one night with ya." He groans and you can see just how much stress this situation caused him. He looks so tired while talking about it, it almost breaks your heart.
"I don't know how she found me again," he continues. "She broke into my apartment, and I had video proof fortunately, so I could file a case, and I have a restraining order against her now. She can't show up again, or she'll land in jail. I also had to get a new phone and number; she did something with it. Tried calling ya with the new one, but ya never called back."
You listen to the story with watery eyes. That woman is actually a stalker?! And he had been suffering like that all the time? Tears well up, and you try to calm yourself. So he wasn't ignoring you on purpose. He actually tried to reach out, and you probably ignored his messages, and he felt miserable because he put you in that situation. Hell, someone broke into his apartment. This must have been horrible for him. You're just glad that she at least cannot legally come here again. Even though it doesn't seem to stop her. A part of you hopes that she'll show up again. The thought of her in jail does sound kind of appealing to you- and not just because you were kind of jealous before. She is danger, and you pray that she won't show up again. Maybe she'll stop now that she knows that he's taken- even though she does not seem to respect boundaries. Your thoughts are running, you don't even know what to say at this point. How could you be mad with him after this?
A ray of hope suddenly flashes before your eyes, and you feel your heart flutter. You know that it's selfish to think about your foolish feelings, to think about how much you like him and to wonder if he reciprocates these feelings. But this means that you might mean something to him. This means that he might like you just like you like him, if he has tried contacting you and kept his distance to protect you.
"So... uhm... you weren't ghosting me because of the kiss?" You feel so, so foolish for asking, but your heart longs for confirmation. You'll deal with the stalker after finally finding out about his feelings. After waiting for him for so long, you need to know.
"I didn't want to ghost ya at all, y/n. I really like ya." His eyes catch yours, and you feel butterflies in your stomach once again. He doesn't seem to mind that you changed the topic like that and you know that you look at him like a hopeful lost puppy. He still has that magical effect on you. Everything just feels so right with him, like you're just where you belong. He's so close; you could probably count his lashes, and you can see the flecks of different shades of brown in his eyes.
"I was actually... really sad because we parted like that. I didn't mean to give you the impression that something's wrong—I just thought you'd see this as a game, and nothing more. That I'm just an easy way to spend time for you. Nothing more." You feel so vulnerable when you say these words, but he quickly shakes his head, looking at you with hurt in his eyes.
"I'm sorry. Y/n, I'll make it up to ya, 'kay? Please. Let me make it right." You melt at his words, only managing to nod. "O-okay." This feels like a dream come true. You can't believe that you're making up with him like this- after carrying his drunk ass home and sleeping in his bed. But you just feel so good when you're with him, and for once you decide to be selfish and to take what you need.
He looks at you, clearly stunned. "Okay? Just like that? I was ready to get on my knees to beg for forgiveness and to buy some more diamonds for you." A soft laugh escapes your lips, and he seems to lighten up at your reaction too.
"Making up to me could definitely include some groveling. I wouldn't mind seeing you on your knees, actually. I don't remember you getting on your knees for me ever, even though we are married." You smile, feeling the tension leaving your body. Only he can make you feel like this.
"Oh?" He grins, and you suddenly feel giddy. "Let me refresh yer memories then." He jumps off the bed, lively and energetic suddenly, and you look at him stunned. "Come here." He pats the edge of the bed, and you slowly crawl there, probably not very elegant, but Atsumu still gazes at you like you're a princess that graced him with her presence. You sit up hesitantly, looking at Atsumu right in front of you, who smiles fondly and smoothly sinks down to one knee. He looks devilishly handsome with his disheveled hair, and you can't do anything else but stare at him. Is this a dream?
"Y/n Miya, I know I don't deserve it, but would ya give yer husband another chance? I promise to make ya happy and to never keep secrets like that from you ever again. I'll be whatever ya want me to be just to keep you happy." Your jaw drops at his words and you can't stop the butterflies in your stomach.
"Wow, uhm, that sounds pretty serious." You breathlessly laugh and he smiles with a sincere expression that makes you blush.
"I am. I kinda..." he sighs, running a hand through his hair, making it even messier and he looks even more attractive like this. "I kinda wanna go on dates with ya. Like real dating. Not just getting along because of the marriage thing."
You stare at him, not having expected this kind of answer. He's actually serious about this? And wants to go on dates with you?
"So uhm... what do ya say? Is that alright with you?" He looks bashful, and you finally manage to come up with a response, the one that your heart is longing for.
"I'd love to." The words come out softly, and you smile fondly at his reaction and the way he seems to light up. You don't even have time to realize what's happening- and then he suddenly raises just enough to be at eye level with you and then simply connects his lips with yours in a sweet kiss. You gasp, surprised, your hands coming up to his shirt to ground yourself, but melt into the feeling, allowing him to cup your cheeks and angle your face towards him to deepen the kiss.
This is not what you had expected at all, but feeling his lips against yours, his body pressing against yours—it's enough to make you feel hazy and giddy. You need more; you need to be closer to him. So you wrap your arms around him and pull him closer while leaning back until he's laying on top of you, urging him to stay close to you. He rests most of his weight on his arms, yet you still feel him on top of you, his body pressing gently against yours .
You open your lips, and he instantly uses the chance, softly licking against your lower lip before he slightly moves his tongue to meet yours. His hips press against yours, harder suddenly, and you can't help but wrap your legs around his waist and pull him down to you.
The position is intimate. Your most sensitive part pressing against his middle, and you suck in a sharp breath when you feel something growing in his pants the longer you keep kissing him. Your hands claw into his shirt when he carefully grinds against you—and you whimper against his lips needily, feeling heat rush through your body.
You both know this is where you should stop; you both have only solved your issues like five minutes ago, and some more things definitely need more clarification, but that's the least thing on your mind now. You- you want him.
And you breathe heavily when he pulls back, his lips wet from your combined saliva, looking unfairly hot with his dark widened pupils while he looks at you intensely.
...
TO BE CONTINUED
#haikyuu#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu x reader#atsumu#atsumu x reader#atsumu fluff#HERE YOU GO#a bit belated#but exams are coming ugh#I hope you enjoyed this#and that it doesn't feel too rushed#I kinda felt like we were moving a bit slow and I was just craving intimacy#and after finally getting to know the truth they can make up at least a bit <3#I hope you like the pacing until now#not many parts are left#probably 2 or 3 T.T#but expect smut pls!#it's skippable if you don't want to read it but I will definitely include smut in this fic! <3#soft smut thoooo#you know me#I always write softer stuff <3#LOVE YA! <3
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snippet (undertow, ch. 6)
IM TIRED OF THIS GRANDPA
#undertow#megop#transformers#peony speaks#GASPING FOR AIR CLAWING MY THROAT KICKING MY FEET#FIRST 3 SCENES ARE FINALLY FUCKING DONE OH MY GOD#IM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. ALL CHAPTERS FROM NOW ON ARE LIMITED TO 2-3 SCENES#fucking 5 scenes in one chapter WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING#oh my god im actually losing my mind#not to mention theres still a few things i want to tweak#AUGH#its so fucking jover man#the carpal tunnel is actually egregious#not to mention the sheer burnout???#like im gonna have to write something silly goofy after this chapters released#theres no way i can handle another one of these for at least a few weeks#oh my god im gonna pass out#literally why do i do this to myself??? why did i think this many scenes was acceptable#who in their right fucking mind would do this#anyway the fact that we're over 80k words but still nowhere near the end of the fic is diabolical#oh my god im so tired#u know im writing this when i have an exam tmrw?#i cant believe this#im hungry
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Sketch of the stardew bachelors for something I might or might not finish later
This is a redraw? of my first ever digital art piece
If you wanna see that then look down here
#look at the original at your own risk#that thing is an eyesore#amd yes i did make this at midnight when i have 8 different exams in the next 2 weeks#this was very important to me#stardew fanart#sdv#stardew#art redraw#old art redraw#I mean at least I've improved a bit
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i’ve become so obsessed with your liar liar fic that i’ve started to gatekeep it and i get jealous when i see other readers also enjoying it HAHAHA. is that a bad thing? I WANT IT TO BLOW UP BECAUSE IT DESERVES TO BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANNA KEEP IT TO MYSELFFFFFF.
it’s literally so underrated & so funny and well written. the way u write the characters is so funny to me, i love it because they’re canon compliant but also canon divergent at the same time? they basically have the same exact personality except if they were good (i.e. toji being selfish asl but not to the point where he’d kill people, or gojo and toji’s rivalry but it isn’t to the point where they’d kill each other, ougi being a strict ‘bad’ father but a not-so-evil version of that?). this is gege’s worst nightmare and after everything that’s happened in the manga, it’s my comfort fic.
I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO FIND IT BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DOOO. as an og reader, i wanna keep this gem to myself. I HAVENT EVEN TOLD ANY OF MY IRL FRIENDS ABT THIS FIC AND IM DYING TO.
i’m sorry for the late response, i still have multiple exams i’m studying for and school life’s just been extremely hectic so i didn’t get a chance to sit down and write up a response, but i read this a day after you sent it and i’ve got the time to reply!
the gatekeeping aspect… as the author-part of me that wants more people to read it, i’m like, well that’s effective for the growth 😭, but as the author-part of me that gets excited with comments like this, i understand the appreciation you must have for this story if you felt the need to GATE-KEEP It 😭❤️❤️ PLS IDK WHETHER TO CRY OR LAUGH HAHAHA ILY
the whole canon compliancy + divergency thing is exactly what i was going for, and i’m ECSTATIC that you’ve noticed it 🥹 i was trying to go for this completely new universe, like a parallel to the canon-verse where everyone’s just happy and dandy and we get a family vibe, yk? best way to do that was to take ogi, completely strip him of his evil-ness, or take toji and give him his wife so he won’t go on a killing spree, or to grab geto and slap some sense into him about why g*nocide is wrong, etc etc, and turn them into (at least) half decent human beings 😭
SOMEONE FROM AO3 ALSO SAID IT’S GEGE’S WORST NIGHTMARE AND I CAN’T HELP BUT AGREE 😭 you wait till i make a whole verse on GOJO’S friends and school life. he’ll hate me for sure by then.
now i feel incredibly guilty seeing as it’s now ur comfort fic and my updates are slow. nonetheless, it makes me so happy (knowing that i’ve made something that you can look at and genuinely feel comforted by it).
trying to squeeze out another chapter, but i have to put my studies first and my levi fic first (just this once), and then chapter 4 will be out right after. give me about two months to get things done (possibly less, tbh).
#everyone’s so nice here#‘jealous of other readers’ HAHAHA#STOP YOU’RE SO FUNNY#ily#i love everyone here#i hate the human race usually bcz they don’t exactly give me reasons to praise them#i’m so busy rn#but i want to write i swearrrr#give me about 2 months#most likely less than that but i don’t wanna say a month and a half and then fail you guys by not getting an update out#i have an official exam in 2 weeks so no update in the next 3 weeks#i can confirm that at least#anyway#ily guys#ily anon :)))#<3#y/n x megumi#fushiguro megumi fluff#megumi imagine#fushiguro megumi#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro#megumi fluff#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi x you#megumi x y/n#fushiguro x reader#jjk x reader#liar liar asks!
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gonna attempt to learn half a term's worth of differential equations material in about a day. really setting myself up for failure.
#oh boy#at least I have time before the exam to study too. so its like 2 days really. maybe this is salvagable#at least I have complete notes#otherwise I'd truly be cooked
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i'm so sorry about what you're going through!! i know what it's like to be a "gifted" kid and suddenly not be able to pass everything so easily, it's a pretty terrible feeling (◞‸◟;)
i sincerely hope you get through this, i have no doubt it will all work out in the end, so please take care!! <2
Thank you for your support, definitely need it right now (;ŏ﹏ŏ)
It's not technically the worst case scenario since I still have some time before the semester ends, but I still definitely need to learn how to cope with so much more to handle (and also how to deal with failure/rejection)
I'm going to try to discuss with a professor or advisor, but I can only go from there >.<
Thanks again for being here :-)
#🩹#📎#💬#It's not fun failing since it makes you feel stupid in the end#But i think it's partly my fault since I'm taking 4 classes when i know how much i work#At least if i do end up failing i might be able to retake the class#It'd just be a massive pain considering just how much effort i tore from myself to put into this class#I have another big exam tomorrow actually#2 major exams only 1 month into school this math class is truly horrid#but finally having others to discuss it with helps a ton#IRL i don't have anyone i can talk about it with#I love my blog :-)#my friends ♡
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ugh like. WHATEVERRRRRRRRR
#MAN. ellipsis x100000 🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️#the dream thieves (2013) book of ALL TIME btw. if u even care.#r.txt#went through almost the entire book without posting abt it ONCE 👍 my self-restraint knows no bounds 💪#trc#pynch#this whole part of the chapter is soooooooooooo like it's so it's literally soooooo... i can't even speak on it. it's only you. why do you#hate you. ronan thought about it. i don't he said. and he woke up. BROOOOOOOO#but anyway. SOMETHING INSIDE OF RONAN UNWOUND AND HE ALMOST SAID SOMETHING ✋🥴 PLEASEEEEEEEE#ronan's second secret was adam parrish next but i'm not gonna read to that part 2day bc i'm literally gonna explode if i do. ARGH.#already i wanna reread but also i want to get to bllb bc i LOVE bllb but also i want to reread the dream thieves again..i hate u dilemmas..#actually need 2 be reading a book for exams LOL but the author's pissing me off w/ certain descriptions & also i want to be reading trc so#like. whatever idec i'm ignoring the book until at least the day after tomorrow peace n love ❤🙏❤#literally actually genuinely gonna reread the dream thieves again right after i finish it i think. as one does <333
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old edits _(:3」∠)_ but i like imagining hakuno in different hairstyles HNGGHH 😩😩❤️💗💓💞 would she ever style her hair tho? sadly no </3 she thinks she's too plain for that + doesn't care about her appearance outside of just enough to look neat and presentable (we do see her hair in low twintails if she needs em tied up tho! tis a very cute look 🫶)
bUT LIKE- if someone wants to play with her hair or style her up then 👀 hakuno vc i don't mind. (<- girl who tends to go along with what others' want because she has no desires of her own tbh-) (METHINKS IT HAS DA POTENTIAL TO BE SO WHOLESOME THOOO and her hair's long and silky yknow ✨️ it'd b nice 2 touch ! 😌✨️) or alternatively- let hakuno do your muse's hair! ✨️ (she brushed nero's hair in last encore and it was such a soft moment it must've been so nice 🥺❤️)
#&&. out of#don't mind me i'm thinking soff thoughts 2 cope after my dreaded exam 2day....... p.epe inhaling copium.png#on the positive side tho- 😤 at least that's over and done with GDKGJWKF#i have one more exam 2 goo but i'm not tew worried abt that one so i am 😼 here for a lil bit !!! (menacing) (affectionate)#I HOPE U'VE ALL BEEN WELL WHEE 🫶💖💓#/also i have more of h.akuno hairstyle edits im not normal abt her 🥴#BUT HI YES i like for those soft normal domestic kinda moments -CLENCHES FIST-#i hc h.akuno being like a living doll frfr tho; so like- her hair (and just herself in general tbh) doesn't rlly need maintenance#BUT HEY NOW DONT LET THAT STOP U(R MUSE) (ФωФ)✨️✨️ !!!! CURSED EMOJI GRAB.GIF
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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