#this is my new catchphrase now
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It is so embarrassing to be gushing over the trc graphic novel like I'm literally an adult (eighteen)
#its not#this is my new catchphrase now#because there HAS to be some silver lining on turning 18#trc#ronan lynch#the raven cycle#adam parrish#gansey#the dreamer trilogy#blue#maggie stiefvater
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Happy New Year again to everyone, and especially all the wonderful chaps who made my time here enjoyable, I'm very greatful, and I'll of my work goes out to you!!
that there's just father cop and son cop, fighting crime. I swear that's all this series is.
I hope your coming year is better than theirs rn♡
#new year same catchphrase#happy new year!!!#I was gonna scribble this earlier but my family was talking for so long#Iwondered if i would ever come back home to my computer(and my BED I SHOULD HAVE JUST SLEPT ON THE FLOOR atleast it would have been honest)#im back now and so here's my first doodle of the year yay~~#they're doing fine... just fine.....#and I hope everyone else is! truly!!#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#digital art#o!ciel#doodle#dadbastian#i swear it
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see I like my horror films (and most other films I watch, but it's mainly horror) to be intelligent with clear narrative themes
but I like my superhero films to be campy and flooded with fan service
#I will die on this hill. superhero movies are best when they're campy and stupid and give the audience what they want#cause I mean like. comic books can be really beautiful and poignant but they can also be delightfully ridiculous#and while I can enjoy a gritty superhero film now and then I get bored of that being an ongoing trend#especially when they do the whole 'im not gonna say my classic catchphrase bc I'm *edgy*' bullshit#you're just disappointing the fans who want the reference and confusing everyone new who doesn't get the reference#anyway. Deadpool 3 is great. don't watch if you're annoyed by fan service bc oooh boy this one was written for the nerds
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really just feels like the last four years of my life have been in pretty permanent stagnation, everything’s temporary and transitional, and i’ve been trying to fix it, but every time i do, something happens to make it worse
#the universe doesn’t want me to have a stable life apparently#i say four years it’s been my fucking whole life with the universe kicking my ass#but i was stable for a long time but then 2020 reset everything#i think i slipped through the cracks and it was like ‘oh shit haven’t fucked with gwen in a while’#then boom!#and now i’m here and it’s bullshit#man i remember when i used to have friends and i wasn’t actually for real stared at in the supermarket for being disabled#i remember when i wasn’t even disabled#like my mental health was actually good and things were better than they are now#i say ‘better’ bc in a lot of ways i had to have my brain rewired by trauma to get to where i am now#in general#not like now now#because ya know recovering from a manic episode and not in the best shape in this current moment#keep getting frustrated and it’s like bruh you were literally manic not even a full month ago#you’re still not fully recovered#trying to get better at being gentle with myself but it’s tough bc i’m not used to it#which is such a sad statement holy shit#trying not to say ‘i wanna kms’ over every tiny thing#bc triggering and bad#trying to just live in the moment and just ‘be’#which is difficult when i’m almost constantly in pain in some way but fuck it we ball#< my new catchphrase?
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live laugh love lekker
#i started saying live laugh love about a week ago and now the new hire thinks it’s my catchphrase#nederlands
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there's that tiktok of that stupid man going around like 'oh, what if everyone is fake and i'm the only real person', and i know that everyone is dunking on him for being fucking stupid by posing that question, and that whole thing really is a completely different philosophical can of worms that needs to be unpacked. but like.
idk. sometimes, i legitimately think the opposite. like, no, i am the fake person. everyone else here is real. everyone else has rich inner lives and they're vibrant and they have friends and family and empathy and passion and interests and all that shit i yearn for (and have gotten really good at feigning) but don't actually have.
i just have like...like this stark anhedonia.
i'm the fake person. i'm completely empty. everyone else is real. i'm kind of just here.
and i truly do mean this in like the most neutral way possible. this is something i've more or less made my peace with. but sometimes i wish it wasn't something i had to make peace with, ya know? sometimes i wish i wasn't fundamentally separated from people and could just like connect. sometimes i wish i wasn't so empty. ya know?
#...YA KNOW?#bringing irl catchphrase onto this website now yep#i don't get like this on here really#but like screaming into the notion-page-void i've created gets old after a while#so i'm going to scream into this differently shaped tumblr-void which might make me feel a little better#even if it's to the same effect as the empty notion page#mattie gets personal#idk. new tag i guess?#i don't forsee this happening often i am too cringed out by myself to allow myself to dwell for too long#just deeply embarrassed that i have irrational feelings#bc my life is fine#objectively and truly#so rlly aint any reason for all this#none of this makes sense but wtever#what are those lines from sylvia that make me sob?#'i'm hollow'#'there's nothing behind my eyes'#'i'm a negative of a person'#'it's as if i've never thought anything wrote anything or felt anything'#yeah.#....yeah.......
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Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?
Because I sure do. I can’t do that.
Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.
#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….”#I’m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL#I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid…#but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old#Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after#I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point#(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT#but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound#like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction)#I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular…#because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake#(to me)#sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize#it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word#— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people#act like they’re better than everyone else)#And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing#but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism#Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way#and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal.#This isn’t how I talk.”#But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication.#I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests#rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together#But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking#especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded#I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good#but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak)#even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere#It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end
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I gasped allowed in my room just now. Because. Guess what.
#there’s a post canon manga that I have yet to read#Joan is very upset with me btw#she may yet choose violence this eve#waylaid dragons#<- my new tag do you like it#because I don’t#throw it in the trash!#I informed our other sibling that’s my catchphrase now#so it’s only fair you know too
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Name: Spamley
Debut: Ralph Breaks the Internet
Hey, remember the Ralph Breaks the Internet craze of 2018? What a time to be alive! Disney's film about What If The eBay Was A Place was an instant hit, due to the fact that everyone knows the Internet, and everyone wants to see a movie about it! You couldn't stop hearing about it! No wonder it won the Academy Award for best animated film! I think it beat out some movie about spiders, or something...?
Kids today might not remember, because 2018 was so long ago. They're too obsessed with their new age sexymen, like Raymond and the big balls Dwarf. But this movie wouldnt've been the cultural phenomenon it was without one character taking the world by storm: a certain J.P. Spamley!
The Internet fell in love with Spamley at first sight, flooding social media with memes and fan art about the loveable green prick. He rose to the highest ranks of the Tumblr Sex Man for a good while! You couldn't scroll for a few minutes without seeing his catchphrase, "Now's your chance to get rich playing video games!"
What kind of a megacorporation would Gisnep be if it didn't capitalize on Spamley's popularity? So they held a special Spamley Sweepstakes event on November 2019, allowing fans to donate money in honor of Spankley himself! All proceeds would go to Bob Iger and Baby Yoda, and if that's not wholesome, I don't know what is. Those who entered even had a chance of winning WILD prizes, like:
That's it that was the only prize
See him in theatres! This is what Disney told us all to do, and we listened! Little did we know they were doing this to hide a dark secret! If you buy the Blu-ray version of the movie, you can actually manipulate the Scene Select to watch the movie out of order and make some... strange things happen. You can look up a walkthrough online, but the gist of it is making Vanelope kill all the Disney Princesses. Especially Merida. And when you do, you unlock a weird alternate ending...
Spamley NEO is the secret true main antagonist of the film, and he wants to take over Oh My Disney to spread spam and advertisements! No! Not Oh My Disney! Please, for the love of God, NOT OH MY DISNEY!! You have to kill him. You have to destroy your Blu-ray copy of Ralph Breaks the Internet now. I hope you're proud of yourself.
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Replay
Requested: @deludedprime
Word Count: 9,425
Oneshot
Part 2
Summary: You have gone through the same story of meeting everyone multiple times now. Every time, at the end, everyone ends up meeting their end. You're trying to prevent that by going through it all once again. But, old habits die hard and the characters start to notice when you know a bit too much about them. Obey Me Brothers and Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon Short writings for Luke, Thirteen, Mephisto, and Raphael
You opened your eyes and took in a deep breath. You were standing in the assembly room of RAD with seven people who you knew very well looking at you. But while you looked at them with familiarity, they stared at you with neutral expressions. All except Lord Diavolo who was standing in front of you looking at you with a smile. You wondered if he knew how much joy his smile brought to others.
“Welcome to the Devildom, Y/N,” he stated. Those were the words that have started your journey three times now. Or was it four? With everything that has happened between you and the brothers, you’ve lost track of how many times you’ve been in this situation.
Diavolo continued to give his brief explanation of who he was and where you were. Then, someone else said, “I will explain everything to you.” You turned towards the eldest demon and took in his appearance. He seemed indifferent towards you and though it hurt to see him like this, it made sense.
The Lucifer you had come to know had been so kind and caring. He was an amazing right hand to Lord Diavolo and an even better older brother. You never once doubted your place in his life, so much so, that it was easy to forget how cold he once was to you - as if you were an inconvenience that he had to put up with to satisfy Diavolo.
Diavolo and Lucifer fell into an easy conversation, the strong friendship clear even then when you were supposed to be completely clueless as to what was happening and who they were.
Lucifer began to explain the exchange student program, but you tuned him out. You were scanning the room looking at the others who were there, their gaze set on you. Two of the brothers weren’t there.
As if on cue, Lucifer stated, “You need someone to look after you and I think that someone should be my brother Mammon. He’s the Avatar of Greed and…how should I put it…? Oh well, you’ll understand soon enough.”
“Now then…we still need to introduce our new friend to your brothers, Lucifer. And it’s probably better that you do that instead of me, wouldn’t you say?” Diavolo questioned, giving Lucifer a small smile.
“Yes, as much as I dread the idea of doing so, you’re right,” Lucifer replied. “Oh, come now. Really? You should be honored to introduce such a sweet and charming little brother like me!” Asmo chimed in.
“This one here is Asmodeus. He’s the fifth eldest. He is the Avatar of Lust,” Lucifer continued, not even acknowledging Asmo’s remark. “Wh…I can’t believe you just totally ignored what I said! And not only that, you referred to me as this one. How rude!” Asmo stated.
“Hmph. At least he didn’t ignore you altogether. How do you think I feel?” Satan added, refusing to look at Lucifer. “That one there is Satan, the fourth eldest of us. At first glance, he may seem like a responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving,” Lucifer told you.
“Aha, so I’m that one, am I? Nice to meet you, Y/N. I am Satan, the Avatar of Wrath,” Satan introduced, giving you a polite smile. His polite smile disguised the anger that you knew was hiding behind his eyes.
“Now, the one there with the very grumpy look on his face is Beelzebub. He’s the sixth oldest,” Lucifer proceeded, ignoring his brothers’ side comments. “Lucifer, I’m hungry,” Beel replied. The statement almost made you laugh considering the amount of times you had heard it before. It was like his catchphrase.
“That’s too bad. Now behave yourself,” Lucifer replied. Beel let out a small sigh before telling you, “I’m Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony.” Beel then went on to daydream - most likely about the food he was planning on eating as soon as he was out of the meeting.
“So - there are seven of us brothers in all. I am the eldest. Mammon, the second oldest of us, will be here soon. My other brothers aren’t here at the moment, but…well, we can get to them later. All in good time,” Lucifer explained.
“During your stay in the Devildom, the seven brothers will lend you their strength. To keep you safe, you are to stay with them at the House of Lamentation,” Diavolo explained before he and Lucifer made sure to add their numbers to your D.D.D. They even had you call Mammon to show that you knew how to use it.
Right after that, Mammon entered the assembly hall. Lucifer let out a small sigh before telling you, “Well, you’ve got that done now, and it seems the idiot has arrived.”
Mammon walked up to you and Lucifer before saying, “HEY! Just who do you think you are, human? You’ve got a lotta nerve summoning the Great Mammon! Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once. If you value your life, then you’ll hand over all of your money now! And anything else of value you too! Otherwise, I’ll wipe that stupid, happy-go-lucky look right off your face…by eatin’ you! Startin’ at your head and working my way down, until-.”
“Mammon shut up or I’ll punch you,” Lucifer stated simply before punching his younger brother. “GAH, OWW! Hey, what’s the big idea? I thought you were actually gonna give me a chance to shut up before punching me!” Mammon replied. You stifled a laugh as you watched the scene unfold in front of you. Same old Mammon.
“Y/N, Mammon here is the Avatar of Greed. He governs and oversees all forms of it. Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. But from what I hear, if he decides to break it off with someone, the wealth evaporates. They’re left without a Grimm to their name,” Satan explained.
“And he’s also a masochist. That part’s important,” Asmo added and you watched as the second-eldest glared at the fifth-born. You could tell that Mammon wanted to say something to him but Lucifer beat him to the punch. “Indeed. And it just so happens I have a job for my masochist of a brother,” Lucifer said.
“Y’all stop telling lies! I ain’t asked for that punch, and I AIN’T a masochist!” Mammon defended, shooting his brothers an angry look. Lucifer paid no attention to it though as he told him, “Mammon, you are going to be in charge of seeing to this human’s needs during this whole exchange. I expect your full cooperation”
“What?! Why me?!” Mammon complained. “Aww, lucky you, Mammon! I’m so jealous…” Asmo said with a small frown. “All right, then why don’t YOU do it, Asmodeus?!” Mammon retorted.
“What? Hell no, too lazy…” Asmo replied. “I thought you were jealous of me?!” Mammon questioned. “Just give up, Mammon. There’s no getting out of this. You know you can’t refuse a direct command from Lucifer, correct?” Satan replied.
“But why does it have to be me?! What about Beel? Why can’t he do it?!” Mammon asked. “This isn’t a job we can entrust to Beel. We might as well ask him to eat this human,” Asmo replied. “Mm, yeah, I can’t promise I wouldn’t,” Beel added.
“You’re useless, you know that?!” Mammon told his younger sibling. “...Mammon?” Lucifer stated, controlling the anger that was beginning to blossom. “...Wh-What?” Mammon asked. A dark aura surrounded Lucifer as he told him, “Surely, you’re not going to tell me that you object to this arrangement, are you?” Lucifer questioned.
Mammon completely tensed up at Lucifer’s words before saying, “Ugh…I hate you guys! Every last one of ya!” Mammon paused for a moment before continuing to say, “Fine…FINE! I’ll do it, okay?!”
Mammon then turned to you and told you, “All right, human, listen up. As much as I don’t want to look after you, I’ve got no choice. It’s a huge pain in the ass, and I’m too important for this kind of thing, but Lucifer told me to do it, so I will. But in return you better make sure you don’t cause me any trouble, got it?!”
This was the scene that marked the start of your journey in the Devildom…several times now. You hated it every time. The way that Lucifer looked at you like he could care less about you. The way Mammon treated you like you were a burden. The way that Levi refused to leave his room. The way that Satan was so angry all of the time towards everyone. The way that Asmo only wanted to charm you instead of getting to know you. The way Beel looked at you as nothing more than a snack. And the way Belphie was locked up in the attic. Not even Diavolo or Barbatos looked towards you with a hint of care.
You thought about the previous times you had been in this scenario. It had always ended the same - with you losing everyone you loved. Losing the people you had come to care so much about hurt much worse than never having them in the first place.
So you managed to find a way to the beginning. To start all over and pray that you could find a way to stop the tragic end that occurred. You would do whatever it took to save everyone.
It didn’t matter if they didn’t know who you were. It didn’t matter if you had to put all of your energy into making them love you again. If it meant they would be okay in the end, you would do it over and over again until you got it right.
But, you had already experienced all of this. You already knew most things about the people you were closest to. Was it even possible to try and do this without them realizing something was amiss?
Lucifer had always been hard to get to know at first. He didn’t know you and he wasn’t sure he wanted to get to know you. Diavolo wanted to strengthen the bonds between the three realms. That was the only reason you were in the Devildom.
And in one year, you would be heading back to the human world. None of them would see you again. So what was the point in talking to you and forming any kind of connection?
In fact, he was even wary about his brothers’ growing friendships with you. Especially when they began making pacts with you. How had you managed to find a way into their hearts so quickly?
The more time he spent around you though, he began to understand the charm that you had. He came to know your kind-hearted nature and dared to let himself begin to care.
So much so that when you decided to join him in his study while he was doing paperwork, he allowed you to stay. He stayed silent as you picked up a stack of papers and began to look through them.
When you grabbed a pen, he opened his mouth to say something. Those were important documents and they had to be filed correctly. But he stopped himself when he saw you filling out every box correctly - as if you had done it a hundred times.
Lucifer’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you finished that document and moved on to the next, effortlessly filling that one out as well. One by one you went through the stack while Lucifer watched you incredulously.
He was sure he had never allowed you into his study before. He had never shown you the paperwork, let alone explained which one was what. So, how were you doing this? Some of the documents were even written in different languages!
You sat down your pen as you finished the stack and gave Lucifer a small smile. “Hopefully that helped you some,” you told him.
Lucifer found himself naturally returning the smile as you stood up from his desk. “I’ll go make you some tea,” you offered, beginning to walk towards the door of the study.
Did you ever stop giving? Well, Lucifer had to admit that a cup of tea did sound nice right now. On top of that, he didn’t want to turn down your offer when you were being so kind. But, he was pretty specific about his tea.
“Y/N, could you make it-,” Lucifer began to stay but you stopped him. “On the stronger side?” you finished for him.
Lucifer’s eyes widened and you paused for a moment as you realized what you had done. You took a breath before putting on a fake smile and telling him, “You just seem like the type that likes his tea stronger than most.” You then quickly disappeared into the kitchen to make the tea.
Meanwhile, Lucifer was left sitting in his study to ponder the words you had spoken. Even if he had a tell that indicated that he liked his tea strong, there was no tell in the world that he could have given to instruct you on how to fill out the paperwork. Something wasn’t right.
When you returned with his tea, it only furthered Lucifer’s suspicions as it was made exactly right. No one - except Barbatos and himself - had ever managed to make it exactly how he liked it.
And when you left the study for the final time that night, he couldn’t help but wonder - who exactly were you?
It took Mammon a bit longer than the others to notice anything suspicious.
The two of you spent a lot of time together since he was the one in charge of watching you. So you would think that he’d be the first to pick up on it if something strange was happening.
But the truth was Mammon was so distracted by his feelings for you when you were in his presence that nothing else processed in his mind. All he could think about was keeping his cool and not letting the way he felt about you be exposed.
So, he never thought twice about the moments where you accidentally slipped up.
The two of you were at the casino and Mammon was so desperate to impress you with his gambling abilities. But, he was having a bit of a rough night. And every time he tried even harder to win, he fell into a worse position.
You had seen Mammon’s tricks many times in the casino and realized what he was doing wrong. You whispered the strategy in his ear and Mammon’s eyes widened. That was it! That’s exactly what he needed to do to win.
He proceeded with your plan and smiled proudly as he finally won. You assumed you would be questioned on how you knew that tactic. Not many would have. But, Mammon didn’t say anything. He just assumed you were really good at gambling, which only made you more perfect for him. He was curious to see what other tricks you had up your sleeve and he didn’t want to scare you off by interrogating you.
The thing that did tip Mammon off was when you decided to wash his prized possession - the Demonio 666 Lexura.
Mammon didn’t let anyone touch his car except himself. He claimed he was the only one who “knew how to treat her right.”
But in your past experiences with Mammon, you knew how much he loved it when the car was clean. And he even showed you how to do it properly once. You used to surprise him with cleaning it and it always brought such a big smile to his face when he would look her over and not see a speck of dirt.
He also used specific cleaning materials on it so that it always had that shiny new car smell. In Mammon’s opinion, it was one of his favorite scents.
Nonetheless, this Mammon had never talked to you about his car. He never showed you how to clean her. And he certainly never allowed you to touch her.
Mammon wouldn’t get mad at you. You were too special to him. But, he did almost have a heart attack when he saw you next to his car, a rag in your hand.
He quickly ran up the stairs and said, “Oi! Human! What are ya doin’?”
You turned to face Mammon and gave him a small smile before telling him, “I thought I would clean your car for you.”
It was a nice gesture, really. And Mammon appreciated it. But, he had a very specific way of doing it. And as his mind was trying to find a way to tell you this without coming off rude, his eyes scanned the area.
That’s when he saw the cleaning materials you used. It was the exact same brand that he always bought. He never kept any on hand though which meant that you went out and chose to buy those specific items.
Mammon quickly began inspecting his car. His favorite smell overwhelmed his senses and his car now looked immaculate. How did you know?
At the end of it, all Mammon could say was ‘thank you’. But, deep down, Mammon felt weird. Like he was having a deja vu experience.
You were a normie. So of course Levi wouldn’t want to hang out with you. Why would he?
Except he was incredibly interested in getting to know you. He coudn’t help it! There are so many things that Levi’s obsessed with that came from the human world and he had a hundred questions for you.
But his self-deprecating thoughts kept him from approaching you for fear of rejection. So he resorted to insulting you and pretty much acting completely indifferent towards you.
But, then you beat him in the TSL contest and he attacked you. He felt very bad afterward. Leave it to him to drive someone else away.
He approached you afterward to offer up a pact with him as an apology. It’s not like you would want to make a pact with him anyway. It was just the only thing he could think of to make it up to you.
When you agreed to make a pact with him, Levi was both shocked and surprisingly happy. He didn’t think having a pact with a normie would affect him this much. But there was just something about you.
Levi used the pact as an excuse to spend more time with you. He asked you so many questions about the anime and manga he liked. There was no way you could know all of them, but somehow you did.
You answered all of Levi’s questions and not just with basic answers. You had conversations with him about it. Maybe you were an otaku like him. There’s no way you could know this much without being one.
Levi invited you to his room more and more often to hang out. Though you had to make sure not to tell the others. He couldn’t have them finding out.
Levi had been a little suspicious about the amount of knowledge you had on the things that he liked. But he wasn’t in a position to question you about it.
He invited you over to play a new game that had just been released in the Devildom. Technically it was an early release so there was hardly any information on the game.
Levi had been so excited to play it, but he heard that it was one of the hardest games that had ever been made and it was impossible to complete without a second player.
The two of you began playing and you both picked it up pretty easily. Well, Levi had picked it up pretty easily. You had already played the game countless times in the past and knew exactly what you were doing.
When you reached the final boss of the area, Levi let out a nervous sigh before pressing start. He was getting eaten alive. He couldn’t hit a single attack. He just kept getting countered and then hit.
His health bar went down rapidly until his character died and he let out a frustrated sigh. He turned to face you, expecting you to be wearing the same expression, but you weren’t.
Levi covered his mouth and let out a startled noise as he watched your character on the screen. You knew the attack pattern and dodged every single one. Your fingers were moving at an unbelievable rate but what shocked Levi was your expression. You didn’t even look like you were trying.
There was no way you could be doing this having never played the game before. He refused to believe it. There was something he was missing.
The words “YOU WIN” appeared on the screen and you let out a satisfied chuckle as you set your controller down.
You turned to face Levi and saw the shock in his eyes as he stared at you. “I’ve just played a game like this before,” you told him with a small smile.
He was not buying it. Either you were a video game ninja, or there was something that you weren't telling him.
Either way, he was going to figure it out.
Satan was very aloof compared to his other brothers. He wasn’t a shut-in like Levi, he just preferred to keep to himself. He found that solitary was better than company most times - especially when it came to his brothers. Because of that, he didn’t really spend any time with you.
He knew the basics. Things that Lucifer forced all of his brothers to know before you got to the Devildom. And, he tried to be polite when he did find himself in a conversation with you.
He observed your relationship with his brothers. How they had all fallen under your spell to the point where you made pacts with four out of the seven of them. He was impressed by your abilities, but he promised himself he wouldn’t fall for the same trick.
That was until he saw you as an opportunity to get underneath Lucifer’s skin. He knew that it was bothering Lucifer how easily you were making pacts with the brothers. Satan making a pact with you would be icing on the cake.
He never felt more angry or rejected when you refused to make a pact with him. Why didn’t you want him? You wanted to make a pact with everyone else - so why not him?
At the end of all of it though, Satan admired your strength to say no to him and potentially put yourself in harm’s way. He appreciated you for helping him see the value in his relationship with Lucifer. And he still got to make a pact with you - the right way.
Since he was a little late to the party, Satan was desperate to spend more time with you. He started becoming jealous when he saw you hanging out with his brothers instead of him and that led to him inviting you to his room.
He wanted to spend some time reading with you and was more than happy when you agreed to it with enthusiasm. He was surprised you were willing to spend a quiet evening with him instead of going to the club with Asmo or going gambling with Mammon.
He chose a book for the two of you to read and you got about a quarter of the way through when the book mentioned a specific curse. But, it didn’t explain what that curse did. It was bothering Satan so you decided to take it upon yourself to look for the curse.
You quickly moved around his room, knowing exactly which pile had the curse and spell books. You knew how far down the pile the book was and managed to pull it out effortlessly without causing the tower to tumble.
Satan was in pure shock. To every other person, his room looked like a cluttered disaster. It looked like his books were carelessly strewn about. But, he had an organizational system. He knew where every book he had was and even had them categorized in a specific order.
But, how did you know what that system was? This was the first time you had been in his room long enough to be able to actually look around; and, he never told anyone else about the way he organized his books so you couldn’t have overheard it.
Satan’s eyes radiated with curiosity as he watched you come back and sit down next to him. You had the page opened to curse already. It was as if you had already read the book and knew where it was in the book.
You read the curse description out to Satan and then looked up to see him staring at you. His gaze caused you to pause for a moment as you asked, “What?”
Satan immediately reacted, trying to pull himself out of his thoughts. “It’s nothing. It’s just not a lot of people would be able to find their way around my room,” he replied.
It was natural to you. After you learned his system, it made complete sense to you. But you realized you weren’t supposed to know his system at this stage in your relationship. You were now panicking as you tried to come up with some explanation.
You gave him a small smile before telling him, “That book was one of the ones you threw at Lucifer and I just happened to catch a glimpse of it.”
Asmo knew there was something different about you from the moment he met you. He tried to charm you once then. The moment got interrupted by Lucifer but Asmo could feel the resistance from you.
He tried again at the Demon Lord’s Castle only to once again be disappointed and intrigued by the results. What about you made it so that you could resist him - something no one else had ever been able to do?
Then he felt your power when you summoned him. It was something he had never felt before.
As a demon, things can get pretty boring and repetitive. The same club, the same drinks, the same succubi who wanted Asmo to take them home for the night. So when he felt the power you had - and the effect your power had on him - Asmo felt excited for the first time in a long time.
He had to get to know you more and what better way than by making a pact with you?
He told himself that he wouldn’t. That his other brothers had a moment of weakness when they made a pact with you. But, after that moment, he realized how easily it was to fall for your charm.
Asmo wanted to do everything with you after making a pact. He wanted to do your make-up and hair, go shopping with you, go out with you. Anything and everything he could think of.
Asmo was a fashion icon for a reason. He had very specific rules he followed when choosing an outfit to wear. He had a whole chart in his head of which colors went with each other, which fabrics were good for the current weather, and which hairstyles went with those fabrics.
Each of his looks was planned out to the very last detail. He had it all memorized so easily. So, when you asked him for help choosing your outfit for the night, he was more than happy to do so.
He didn’t tell you about the intricacies of it. It would be far too much for you to try and understand all at once. He was just planning on going through the chart in his head as you went through your different outfits.
So, when you began going through Asmo’s checklist, he froze. You were talking about the fabrics and the colors. The shoes that would match the outfit but not match the hairstyle you were planning. The weather affecting your outfit. You were checking every single one of his boxes.
Had Asmo told you about his checklist without realizing it? His head felt like it was starting to spin the more he thought about it.
“Okay, I think this outfit meets all of the criteria. What do you think?” you asked Asmo, smiling at him as you showed him what you picked out.
Asmo quickly snapped back into reality giving you a nod. “It’s perfect!” he replied.
As much as Asmo wanted to question you on your fashion knowledge, he left it alone for now. He’s always known there was something different about you, and this just proved his point.
You were special in a very fascinating way and he enjoyed finding out your unique quirks on his own. He didn’t want to push anything. He wanted to experience them firsthand.
You were the first person to make him feel something stronger than lust and he was going to savor every moment he could when this emotion presented itself.
Beel isn’t a very particular demon. He doesn’t have specific systems or ways of doing things. He just goes with the flow most of the time.
His mind was predominantly occupied with the thought of food. And, when he wasn’t eating, he was either at school, working out, or spending time with you or one of his brothers.
So he didn’t really have any extra time to find a hobby where he could make a system and he didn’t have any prized possessions like Mammon’s car.
Food was theoretically his hobby and even then, he didn’t care what he was eating. He didn’t need it to be a five-star dish where every spice was carefully added in. Preferably, he just didn’t want to eat Solomon’s cooking.
But, if it was the only food around him, he would eat it with no problem. He wouldn’t even question what was in it. In all honesty, he was probably better off not knowing.
So, when Beel noticed things were a bit suspicious, it wasn’t because you did something specific for him. It was because of how well you knew his routine.
You had come to know exactly when Beel would be hungry and you liked being prepared with a snack or meal at those times.
The first couple of times you did it, Beel thought it was because he was being physically active. Because you gave him a snack after his Fangol game or after he came back to the House of Lamentation after a workout session.
But, then it progressed. He would be in the middle of class and his stomach would rumble. Before he could even think he was hungry, you would be handing him something to eat.
He would be in the middle of studying and you would continuously make sure he was fed without him having to ask.
And on top of all that, you knew what his favorite food and drinks were and you made sure he was able to have those items whenever he wanted.
It was a welcome gesture. After all, when you’re eating constantly, nothing ever really stands out in flavor. So when he’s able to eat something he really enjoys - it’s like a special treat for him.
You and Beel were watching a movie in your room when he finally asked you. He had already eaten all of the snacks he brought but something was missing. He was craving something…sweet?
Without taking your eyes off the movie, you pulled out a chocolate bar and handed it to Beel. You acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world. You didn’t even blink when you did it.
But Beel was completely surprised. “How did you know that I wanted that?” Beel asked, taking the chocolate bar from you.
You finally looked away from the movie to see the confusion in Beel’s eyes. “It only makes sense to have something sweet after all that popcorn,” you replied nonchalantly.
“But, you always know what I want when I want it,” Beel pressed on. He had held his tongue for a little too long and now he just wanted an answer.
You paused as you tried to figure out what to say when a brilliant idea came to mind.
“The student council did a survey on everyone’s favorite foods for lunches at the cafeteria. That’s how I know what you like. And, you get hungry every day at about the same time. So after the first couple of days, I figured out when you would be hungry.”
It was a simple explanation, but it satisfied Beel. At least for now.
Belphie was always a bit suspicious about you. Not only were you a human, but while he was locked up in the attic, you had no problem calling him out.
You knew every lie he was going to tell you before he could even say the words.
He wanted to make himself look better to you so that you would help him. But, when he went to tell you a sob story, you told him to cut the act and just be honest with you. What were you? A human lie detector?
To be honest, Belphie was starting to get a bit frustrated with you when he realized he couldn’t say anything but the truth.
You knew that he hated humans and that he was going to kill you the first chance he got. But, you still agreed to help him. Why? Belphie determined there must be something wrong with you mentally.
How did you know so much about him in the first place? He figured Beel must have told you some things about him. It was the only thing that made sense.
You did as Belphie had asked and managed to make pacts with his brothers. And the second the door to the attic was open, he did as you knew he would and attacked you.
But hold on a second…did you just dodge his attack? He tried once again only for you to move quickly out of the way. Now, the other brothers had heard the commotion and had come to your rescue before Belphie could lay a hand on you.
How did you know his attack pattern? How did you know the exact moment he was coming for you?
Your foresight stands out the most to Belphie. To the point where he can’t help but wonder if his brothers had picked up on it as well.
He wanted to understand how you knew so much about him without knowing him so he started spending more time around you. He started noticing the small details about what you liked and didn’t like.
He noticed the way that you knew exactly how he liked to lie down when he was taking a nap. What his favorite pillow was and the perfect temperature for a good rest.
You knew he liked stargazing and that his favorite food was sushi. You even surprised him with movie tickets once. Did Beel tell you all this information about him? Is that how you knew?
Belphie was having a particularly restless night and decided to leave his and Beel’s shared room to try the bed in the attic. He grabbed his favorite pillow and made his way out into the hallway.
He just so happened to bump into you and looked at you curiously. “What are you doing up so late?” he asked. You shrugged your shoulders in response before questioning, “Can’t sleep, huh?”
Whenever Belphie was leaving the twin’s bedroom you knew he was having a hard time falling asleep. Belphie nodded his head and you gently took his hand before leading him up to the attic.
Did he tell you he wanted to come up here? You got onto the bed before motioning for Belphie to join you. He was skeptical at first. This would be the first he was this close to you and he wasn’t sure how to react.
But you knew this was a surefire way to get Belphie to relax and go to sleep. So you urged him once again to get in the bed.
He did this time, lying down next to you. You guided him so that he was lying on your chest, his arms wrapped around you. Your scent overwhelmed him in a comforting way and he felt all of his tension release when you began running your fingers through his hair.
The warmth of your body added to his relaxation and he found himself quickly starting to fall asleep. It was strange to him. He had never laid like this with you before. Yet - it felt like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Diavolo kept a careful eye on you whenever he could. You were his exchange student after all. He trusted Lucifer with the task of making sure you were safe from harm. But, at the same time, he wanted to ensure your safety himself.
Something about you drew him in. He was supposed to remain impartial towards the exchange students. He couldn’t favor them in any way. If he did, it wouldn’t be a proper test to see if humans and angels could adjust to life in the Devildom.
He had the power to give you everything you could ever desire. But he needed you to experience things on your own. And although he couldn’t show you any favoritism, that didn’t stop his growing feelings for you. It didn’t stop the curiosity he had about you.
He would notice the way you were with the brothers. You fit in perfectly with them - as if you were a missing piece in their puzzle.
You knew everything about them. How to keep Mammon from falling for pyramid schemes. How to get Levi to spend more time out of his room. How to calm Satan’s rage. How to get Asmo to look beyond his appearance. How to satisfy Beel’s hunger. And how to motivate Belphie to stay awake for longer.
Diavolo could see the way you had even managed to get to Lucifer when the two of you were dancing at one of his balls. Lucifer was genuinely smiling and Diavolo was…jealous.
When he realized that he was jealous of the seven demon brothers, Diavolo made it a point to spend more time with you. He wanted to get to know you and he wasn’t going to let his royal duties stand in the way of it.
He invited you out to dinner with him and the two of you were having a great time. Diavolo felt like he could really open up to you. So he told you some of the worries he was having about becoming the King of the Devildom.
He expected you to be a great listener, but he never expected you to help him so much. You knew all the right words to say.
You knew the history of the Devildom and what the leaders before him had done - including his father. You talked about his aspirations that he had yet to even share with Barbatos or Lucifer.
You made him see things in a light he never would have thought of. And, at the end of your speech, when you placed your hand on top of his, feelings overwhelmed Diavolo.
He didn’t know how you knew so much about the Devildom. Maybe Satan had been helping you study. And he didn’t know how you knew so much about his dreams for the Devildom. Maybe you were just blessed with big dreams like he was.
He was a bit skeptical of it all. He believed there was no way that you could know so much about everyone after being a random human who was chosen to come to RAD. There were too many coincidences and instances where you knew things you shouldn’t.
He wanted to explore further and find an answer to his questions. But, at the end of the day, all that mattered was that he believed you truly belonged in the Devildom with all of them.
And when your hand touched his, it was the first time he had felt so much joy and love for one person. That was a feeling he wasn’t going to let go of.
Barbatos is the most wary of you. His ability is to see both the past and the future and to alter realities as he sees fit. So, whenever something suspicious is happening that involves time as a construct itself, he senses it.
He keeps a close eye on you. He couldn’t say what it was for sure that was different about you. You didn’t seem like you were from the past. Your aura didn’t match those he had met who had traveled to the future.
But, you definitely didn’t seem like you were truly from the present. He was on the same page as Lord Diavolo. There were far too many coincidences for one to chalk it up to you just being particularly intuitive.
He wasn’t sure if you were using a spell or a curse. But he was positive you were either from the future or from a different reality. He didn’t say anything to anyone else though.
Getting others involved in the affair of time almost always resulted in dire consequences. He did try to figure it all out on his own though. Why were you there?
He could tell you weren’t a threat to the others. You seemed to genuinely care about them. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be spending as much time with them or doing the things that make them happy.
He came to the conclusion that this wasn’t the first time you had gotten to know them. He could see it in your eyes. The slightly tired look when you had to pretend like you didn’t know something. He imagined it was exhausting.
But, why would you be here if you already knew everyone? He studied your body language more. The way you were so happy just to be around everyone. The sad look in your eyes when they left. Almost heartbroken
Because it reminded you of a time when they left for good. So, that’s it then. One - or from the look in your eyes - all of them had met their end and you were here trying to prevent that.
Barbatos had to will himself not to open the door in his room to see what happened. Sometimes it was better not to know.
You and he had a chance to talk alone after the retreat at the castle. You offered to help Barbatos clean up the mess the others had left. And, even though he had a very specific way of doing things, he allowed you to help. This was his opportunity to try and find out more information from you.
When you started cleaning though, he was at a loss for words. You were doing everything perfectly, exactly in the order that he would do it. But in order for you to know that - you and he must have gotten quite close.
Barbatos’ mind began to race. He knew you were close to the others but he never thought he would have been one to fall for you as well.
“Is everything okay?” you asked him and he immediately concealed whatever emotions he was feeling with a smile.
“Yes, I’m just surprised by your efficiency,” Barbatos replied.
The fact that you had come either from the future or another reality meant that his time could be limited.
And now he was going to make sure to make the most of it. He wanted to get to know you the way the others had before it was too late.
Solomon knew more than he let on most of the time. He liked being the mysterious figure and keeping everyone on their toes.
He could tell that you had an immense potential for magic from the first moment he met you.
Everyone told him that you had no magical capabilities and that you were just a normal human. But he could see that was a lie, even if you couldn’t.
It was his mission to release that potential, but he had to be smart about it. He wanted you to find out about it on your own. He would just be there to give you a gentle nudge in the right direction when the time called for it.
He didn’t get much alone time with you, thanks to the brothers, so he had to watch your growth from afar.
He would study you in classes, watching as you would effortlessly perform whatever spell or curse the instructor had asked you to. Solomon knew that you would be able to perform them, but what he found intriguing was the expression you wore while doing them.
Your eyes looked slightly zoned out as you half-heartedly spoke the words. Sometimes gesturing lazily while you said the spell. You looked bored. As if you had already performed all these spells before.
It only piqued Solomon’s interest more and he eventually asked you to be his apprentice. He couldn’t be more happy when you accepted.
Solomon taught you some basic spells and was amused when you performed them easily. He moved onto the more intricate ones thinking he’d finally be able to challenge you. But he was shell-shocked when you performed them almost as easily. No magical capabilities? Whoever wrote that fact down about you got it all wrong.
Solomon decided to move on to something a bit more challenging - cooking.
“Oh, that’s okay, I’m actually a great cook. How about you teach me how to do teleportation magic instead?” you asked, a hopeful gleam in your eyes.
“Now, Y/N, cooking is an important part of learning magic. A lot of curses require specific ingredients. Though I usually like to mix mine and see what happens!” Solomon responded with a smile as he began pulling out various items.
“I usually just add things as I feel like it, but I do have one dish in particular where I actually follow a recipe,” Solomon added.
“Let me guess, you call it the Solomon Special?” you asked. Solomon looked shocked as he asked, “How did you know?”
“Lucky guess,” you replied, grabbing ingredients and throwing them into the pot. You were making it without Solomon even telling you how to do it. And you didn’t get a single thing wrong.
That was impossible. This was his secret recipe. He had never shared it with anyone. In fact, the only reason he was about to share it with you was to impress you with his cooking skills.
“And done! Now let’s get out of the kitchen,” you said, leading him out of the room. Solomon trailed behind you. Something definitely wasn’t right here.
Solomon started paying more attention to you when you performed magic. He was trying to comprehend how you knew about a secret that was so “special” to him.
He would use his own magical abilities to try and find the answers he was looking for. He could tell that you had a secret and he was dying to find out what it was.
Simeon had many things in his life that he kept from others. When you lived as long as he had, you witnessed many things that weren’t always pleasant to share with others.
Because of this, he got used to not sharing things. He always put on a smile and had a positive outlook towards things in life.
He found a creative outlet to express his emotions - writing. And he used the stories he created to tell the secrets he held and wrote under a pen name so that he didn’t expose the truth.
He was happy like that. He never felt the need to tell others about his past experiences or how he felt about them…Until he met you. A random human who others claimed wasn’t capable of anything significant.
Yet, from the moment he saw you, he felt something stir within him. He felt a connection to you unlike one he had ever felt before.
Your beauty caught him off guard and he was even more surprised when your kindness surpassed his own. How could a human be so perfect?
Simeon knew he was in trouble when it came to you. You were someone he could risk losing everything for.
Because of that, he did what he could to keep his distance. He was always nice to you and talked to you when you were around the others. But, he didn’t go out of his way to get alone time with you. He was afraid of what would happen if he did.
But, then you said something to him that made him freeze. He had mentioned something to you about having writer’s block and your response was innocent. You were just trying to be friendly. But, it made Simeon begin to question you.
“I’m sure you’ll get the motivation to write again soon. You have so much talent. Just look at how popular TSL has become!” you told him, doing your best to encourage him.
There was only one problem. He hadn’t told anyone that he was the author of that series. And, you had only come to know about TSL after you came to the Devildom. After you met him. So, how did you know?
The secret was out. The things he had been trying so hard to conceal were revealed. Yet, he didn’t feel the way he thought he would. You had spoken to him about his book with so much kindness in your heart. There was no judgment, there were no questions.
The smile you gave Simeon attracted him even more as his mind raced. There was no explanation as to why you knew that information.
The logical thing would be to question you about how you knew it. Especially considering this wasn’t the first time that you’ve known something you shouldn’t have.
And although that was the logical thing to do. The only thing Simeon could think about was how he wanted to tell you more about himself.
To finally relieve the weight he’s been carrying around for as long as he could remember. Because he knew that you would listen to him and never make him feel bad for it. He knew that you were special.
BONUS CHARACTERS:
LUKE
The others weren’t the only ones who noticed your strange behavior. It wasn’t hard to see that you had a special talent for knowing about them and their likes and dislikes.
Luke got an example of this almost right away. He took a liking to your kindness immediately. All things considered, you were a remarkable human and he enjoyed spending time with you.
He also believed that if you spent too much time with the demons then they would find a way to taint your soul. He was an angel after all and could see your virtue. Virtue that he didn’t want to change because of your time here in the Devildom.
He followed Simeon around in an attempt to warn you about the demons. He had finally seen you and opened his mouth to say something when you surprised him.
You held up a slice of Barbatos' Signature Cake. Luke immediately froze as he looked at the piece of cake in your hand.
He would never ask Barbatos - a demon - for the cake himself. Yet it was one of his guilty pleasures. He loved the combination of flavors the dessert provided.
“We were at the Demon Lord’s Castle, and Barbatos was serving his cake. I made sure to grab you a piece,” you told Luke with a small smile.
Had he said he liked Barbatos' dessert before? It couldn’t have just been a lucky guess. Why would you specifically go out of your way to save him a slice unless you knew how much he liked it.
Luke was considered “young” for an angel so he was still learning some things. But he knew enough to know that there was something more going on than you were letting on.
THIRTEEN
You and Thirteen had been talking about one of the many adventures you had gone on with the brothers.
She had heard a rumor about it and asked you for the full story. So, you gladly indulged her request, giving her all the awful details about the trouble that befell you.
Thirteen thoroughly enjoyed the tale, especially how high stakes it was. It was truly a life-or-death situation.
She couldn’t help but imagine how if she had been there she would have had the perfect trap to get out of that situation.
As if reading her mind, you stated, “If only we had your Devouring D.D.D. trap.” Thirteen was surprised that you had stated what she was thinking.
But she was even more surprised at the trap you had mentioned. She only thought of it a few days prior and hadn’t told anyone about the idea. She hadn’t even started planning out all of the logistics for it.
So, how did you know about it? Could you read minds or something?
Thirteen knew there was something different about you because she could see how shiny your soul was.
But, there was more to you than just a shiny soul and she wanted to know what it was. Maybe she could use one of her traps to find out?
MEPHISTO
Mephisto didn’t really come into contact with you. His royal duties kept him pretty busy. And he wouldn’t dare slack off and risk looking bad in front of Lord Diavolo just to chat with the new human student.
But, he wasn’t oblivious to the way everyone acted around you. He could see that you were more than just a simple human.
What really sold it for him though was when he was planning on making those terrible stickers of Lord Diavolo and Lucifer.
Mammon had recruited him for the Lucifer sticker and Mephisto gladly agreed. He was happy to be involved with something that might embarrass Lucifer.
They had all sworn secrecy to each other because they knew if news got out then they would be in big trouble.
Mephisto ensured that the brothers hadn’t told anyone. He was going to share the Lucifer sticker anonymously after school that day. He was quite proud of it. It was Lucifer riding a white unicorn. He believed it was quite clever.
You were passing Mephisto on your way out of the class and you told him, “You should make the unicorn pink and purple.”
Mephisto let out a small gasp at your words. Had one of the brothers leaked their plan? There was no way they could have. Mephisto had been keeping a careful eye on them all day.
So then how did you-?
Wait, you were right! Pink and purple would look much better and only further Lucifer’s embarrassment. Thanks, Y/N.
RAPHAEL
Not even Raphael was safe from your knowledge. He visited the Devildom rarely and his trips were usually so few and far between.
He had only talked to you on a few occasions and during those times, you didn’t really have any personal conversations.
Most of the information Raphael knew about you was because of what he heard from the others.
And he was sure that it was the same way for you when it came to him.
So, he was completely awestruck when Simeon handed him a present from you. Simeon had been visiting the Celestial Realm and you asked him to bring Raphael a present for you.
Raphael opened it to see a beautiful spear enclosed. It was made from a very rare material that could only be found in the Devildom. It was said to have the potential to inflict ten times more damage than the one he currently had.
He never voiced this wish to anyone though. It was something he held as a secret in his heart because he was afraid that the other angels would look at him in disdain for wanting to acquire something from the Devildom.
Raphael ran his fingers over the spear. You must have some kind of mental telepathy abilities. The others had told him you were special but he didn’t see the extent of it until now.
You were not an ordinary human.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me x MC#headcannons#imagines#oneshots#obey me imagines#obey me fanfiction#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzbub#obey me belphegor#obey me nightbringer#obey me brothers#obey me writing#obey me scenarios#obey me levi#obey me belphie#obey me beel#obey me asmo#obey me mc#anime#fandomsxreader
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Extremely long post about how you’re now allowed to erase your neopets faces (NEOPETS IS GOOD AGAIN: YOU CAN ERASE THEIR FACES.)
I have just learned that neopets recently added some wearable (neocash only though) items called the “be-gone cans” that let you hide different body parts, so there’s like eyes-be-gone and wings-be-gone.
There’s a lot of caveats (the mouth one for some reason is locked behind a gacha capsule, the “body” one only removes minor extra details from the torsos of a few species, they don’t all work on all pets and they don’t even work on the same exact parts of the same species in different colors because of how they were coded) but at minimum ALL pets can at least have the eyes and mouths removed and this alone improves countless, countless designs. For instance if you didn’t like some of the invertebrate variants stuck with the pet’s usual face, now you can fix it:
Same for the fruit and vegetable chias, they're SO good without faces, for reference here’s the mushroom chia with the horrible face all chias normally have:
Awful. Just ghastly.
Now you can correct him and make him good:
Look how fucking cute some of the other chias are this way:
This is a fucking game changer, I actually care about neopets for the first time in a decade because I can take their faces off. They were born for this. They were waiting almost 30 years to be freed from their disgusting foul orifices. “Help me, mother” they say, “I am cursed with a mouth and can therefore all too easily scream!” as their famous catchphrase always went I think. At last their salvation is here. I mean, look at this sad lenny:
We all know exactly why he’s canonically always so miserable! If there’s one thing he hates more than having legs to touch the earth’s filth and corruption it’s being able to see it.
Now he’s happy! He wants this!
And now he’s even happier i’ll bet!!!!!!!!!!
If you take the muzzle piece off the scorchio it even liberates their whole head from their neck as their god intended:
Legit though some pets actually make better serious designs besides the nudibranch one, like if you take the eyes off any of the (already badass) transparent pets you get their deep abyssal cave version:
Now look at some of the transparent pets with everything taken away that can be taken away:
The uni is finally almost unrecognizable as an equine, its life long dream
This isn’t like any of the dog designs in any of the silent hill games but it could exactly have been a dog design in a silent hill game, you know??
God bless whatever artist refused to give the insectoid Ruki a normal vertebrate skeleton so you can make this gelatinous flying space angel
But god bless whoever DID give the insectoid Buzz a vertebrate skeleton so you can make this HR Giger parasite embryo. Actually cannot pick between the two bug pets here as my new favorite neopets that are still technically available. THESE WINGS HAVE BEEN RETIRED SINCE 2012 OR I WOULD MAKE THIS PET:
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The One I Want: Part 10
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader
Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.
Notes/Warnings: very likely typos, fluffy stuff, cursing i think.
Words: 3157
The One I Want Masterlist
The words ‘I’ll be fine’ are still ringing in your ear, drilled into your brain from the excessive number of times they’d been said or texted in the last ten hours. From the moment you stepped out of your bedroom door this morning, Jake began insisting on picking you up from the shop following your shift. He insisted before you even had a chance to suggest an alternative plan for your day. As soon as you opened your mouth, he had his hand up and head shaking to stop you.
“Don’t even say it,” he said, “I’ll be there to get you, same as always,” to which you responded with what might as well be your new catchphrase: “I’ll be fine.”
His attempts to put his foot down on the matter were unsuccessful as you pointed out every reason why finding your own means of transportation after work is the best solution. He rolled his eyes at “It’s your birthday, Jake,” and snorted at “Your party at the bar starts an hour and a half before my shift ends,” but finally surrendered to “If you’re late, your friends will be disappointed. They mean too much to you for that.” Then he sighed and nodded and continued about his morning routine as you did yours before you headed to the shop. Though you thought you’d won, you received multiple “Are you sure?” texts that were also answered with “I’ll be fine.” And you are fine. Your shift was dull, uneventful, and you had no issue securing a quick ride to The Hard Deck.
Hopping out of the back of the driver’s car is a struggle with the number of bags hanging off your arms. Between your purse, Jake’s present, and the clothes you wore to work shoved into a grocery bag—which were switched with the casual, green knee-length dress you’re wearing—you’re weighed down.
“Need some help there, Sweetness?” Javy is one of few lingering outside the bar, and the only person you know within sight. He smiles and the arms crossed over his chest bounce with his chuckle. Before you answer, he walks over to snatch both your purse and the grocery bag in his hands. “I’m gonna toss these in Jake’s truck. No one will bother them,” he says.
In his brief absence, you stand a little straighter and brush the stray hairs back behind your ear. A low whistle coming from behind you causes you to flinch until you realize it’s from your friend as he makes his way back over to you.
“You're definitely lookin’ lovely,” he teases, and you snort.
“Quit it.”
“No can-do, sweetness. Too pretty to ignore.”
Heat floods your cheeks and you look down at the ivy-green material flowing around your body. It’s about as simple a dress you could find—well, that Millie could help you find after insisting on leaving behind the jeans—but it’s much more than anything you’ve worn in the past. Social events have never been your cup of tea. Not being invited out has left you slim on practice, and that includes every aspect down to your choice of clothing. While Millie did help you pick it out, it doesn’t necessarily mean she is an expert either, but you have no way of knowing for sure. “Is it too much?”
“Not a chance,” Javy replies. “You look amazing. And you happen to be the very reason I am out here instead of in there.”
“Meaning…”
“As Jake’s top-tier friend, I want to be the one to personally deliver his favorite present. Now that you’re here, I can do that,” he says with a wink before holding out his elbow for you to take.
—
Jake’s eyes are already on the door when you walk in, finding you instantly, and his entire body perks up like a man just shot with a bolt of life. Shoulders lose the little bit of slump there was from forearms resting on the high-top table and eyebrows drop their pinch as he watches your every step toward him. Through the mass of bodies Javy assists in weaving you through, Jake’s stare is impressive. It’s steady and he doesn’t lose you, not for a second.
When you reach him, Javy loudly declares “The contest is over! I just won best present.” He then releases you to round the group and pops open a bottle of beer with the edge of the table. By the multiple marks on the wood surface, you imagine—hope, anyway—that Penny doesn’t mind. However, if anyone were to follow her rules and respect the property she requests be respected, it would be this group.
As you stand there greeting the rest of the crew, you can still feel those green eyes. A few other pairs dart back and forth between you and Jake. Tension bubbles around the back corner of the room where the modest party is set up, but it’s not an aggressive tension from distress or concern of discomfort; it’s a tension buzzing wildly with excitement. And from the smiles on faces and the little redhead you’ve bonded with bouncing on her toes, you can begin to guess where this buzzing, humming, zapping energy is coming from.
They know. You’re not sure why a flash of surprise moves through you. Of course, they know. Of course, Jake told them. They’re his best friends. They’re the family he made after the devastation of having his own taken from him. His sharing of what’s happened between you over the last week is normal, so normal that it’s unfamiliar. One more thing you’ll have to get used to if Jake continues to pull you out of the existence you’ve known for so long.
“Hi,” he says. It rides on a heavy exhale that you can barely hear through the cacophony of voices filling the bar.
Jake’s friends appear to go back to their conversations, but they’re no good at disguising their true intentions. Their ears are alert as eyes rely on the strength of their peripheral vision to catch either your or Jake’s next move. A tight squeeze with roaming hands, a deep kiss, an arm wrapping possessively around a shoulder or waist—they’re clearly eager to witness it all, but the anticipation hanging in the air is snuffed out by Jake leaning in and innocently brushing his lips over your cheek. To your side, there is a collective murmuring of disappointment that is, again, poorly disguised.
“You get here ok? I mean, you know, without complication?” Jake asks. A nod joins your budding grin.
“Easy-peasy.” He stares more, his fingers traveling from your elbow to your wrist, and you suddenly remember what’s clutched in your hands. “Oh, I got you this,” you say, holding up the bag. It’s made of a thin, golden paper that’s priced way too high for its quality with clashing orange tissue sticking out of it, and it’s about four sizes too big for the gift you got him, but it was all the shop had last minute.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“It’s your birthday. That’s what people do,” you counter, because even though you’ve never received a present on your birthday, Jake is the type of guy who always should. You hold the bag higher, forcing him to take it.
“Thank you,” he says before turning to set the bag on the table. It’s then that you see the remnants of paper and bows scattered across the wooden surface. Piled on a couple of stools behind Bob are the gifts he has already opened. Jake’s hand starts to dig through the bright orange tissue paper.
“You’re going to open it right now?” you ask, having previously imagined there would be at least a sliver less of attention on the two of you when he does. Your fingers of one hand begin to fiddle with the fingers of the other.
“Sure, why not?” His hand pauses and he looks at you a little harder. “Unless you don’t want me to.”
“N-No, it’s fine.” A blond brow raises. “Really, it is.”
He waits a second longer before resuming his discarding of the paper. When he looks inside, his hand retreats, and he watches your gift at the bottom of the bag as if it might start moving on its own. Then his head shakes and he grins ear to ear and he reaches back in to pull it out. The brows of the other aviators pinch in confusion at the globe sitting in the palm of Jake’s hand. In all of its cheap glory, it contains a beach scene with plenty of unnatural sparkly snow settled at the bottom of the liquid which is quickly disturbed by Jake’s light shaking. He chuckles. Then chuckles some more. Crinkles deepen at the corners of his eyes.
“I don’t get it,” Rooster mutters, only to have Millie elbow him in the side.
“You don’t have to,” she scolds. “Now hush.”
Despite Jake’s laughter, when he places the snow globe back in the bag you fear you’ve somehow fucked up. That it’s not as cute as you imagined he would think. That he’d rather you have gotten him nothing over something so silly. But then he faces you, takes your hand, and as he starts to walk away from the table, whispers, “Come with me.”
As you’re led away you glance over your shoulder to see that your friends are all in different states. Nat and Bob are exchanging glances and snickering at the birthday boy’s rapid departure, Millie is smacking her boyfriend’s hand as he reaches for the golden bag, and Javy smirks along with the statement “That certainly didn't take long.”
You look ahead, but before you can fully catch up with your surroundings, you’re yanked through a door and pushed up against the other side of it as a mouth firmly presses to yours. Jake’s palm smacks the surface next to you, blindly feeling around for the deadbolt, and the thud from its turn echoes in the empty bathroom. Then his hands cup your cheeks and you melt as he pulls you in closer.
At a different time, with a different man, unmanageable thoughts would be taking control of your senses right now. Your fingers would be stiffening and your eyes would be snapping open, darting around to take in every square inch of the room in search of signs of other people. You would be listening for any and every sound with such intensity that you’d have a decent count on the number of footsteps passing by the other side of the door. You wouldn’t be letting yourself go or forget your troubles or feel for a single moment because you know what this behavior looks like. You know how others often perceive it. In the midst of past frenzied kisses, your brain would deteriorate into a fractured mess. Ten percent of your mind would struggle to focus on the wandering hands and lips attached to yours; fifteen percent would go to wondering if anyone saw you sneak into the bathroom with a man; twenty would be spent worrying you’ll receive looks of judgment and pity once you rejoin the bar; twenty-five would be questioning why you’re choosing to be in the position you’re in when you know it won’t end well; and the remaining thirty percent would be trying to prematurely push away the shame to come when the somewhat intoxicated man kissing you in the bar bathroom decides he is done.
It’s not a different time, though. You’re not with a different man. You’re exactly where you are, with the man you are with, and you don’t care about anything but him.
Jake is pulled in with hands fisted in the material of his shirt. He’s your only source of stability and direction as he turns your bodies and walks you backward. When your lower back meets the edge of the sink, you separate the kiss and instinctually jump up. Of course you jump. You always jump in these situations. But this time when your bottom lands on top of the counter, you don’t second guess the man whose hips are settling between your spread thighs, whose eyes gaze at you like you’re the most incredible thing they've ever seen, whose hands are threading into your hair, whose lips are once again claiming yours.
His tongue teases the seam of your lips and when you part them so it can slip inside to brush along yours, muffled moans merge. The fingers hidden within the strands of your hair tighten into fists. They stay there until your own hands begin to explore. One index finger curls through a belt loop, tugging inward to remove what little distance remains between you. The other is the first on that hand to dip under the hem of his shirt and stroke over a patch of tanned skin just above the button of his jeans. You love how he feels there—hard with thick muscle but soft from the trail of hair that disappears under a band of denim. Jake shudders against you, and it seems to serve as a reminder that there is more of you for him to touch as well.
With your hair freed, a hand grasps your outer thigh where your dress has ridden up. Fingertips knead flesh as an arm snakes around your waist. A squeak of surprise gets stuck in your throat when that arm jerks forward, unexpectedly managing to inch your bottom closer to the edge of the counter.
There is so much happening, so much to absorb, and you don’t have a chance to mentally address the tick of uncertainty that never showed itself. Instead, you are simply full of the feeling that none of this scares you. Not a bit of it. Not the strength of his arm around you. Not the hand that has begun to slide up your thigh and under the hem of your dress to the swell of your ass. Not the pressing of his hips into the space between your legs. Not the heat he gives off that fights the chill of the room. Not his teeth nibbling your bottom lip, or the whimpers it draws forth that with anyone else would have you shrinking in embarrassment. You’re so far from afraid that you've crossed into happily addicted territory.
His mouth vanishes from yours to latch onto your neck. The sound you make at the new sensation has Jake’s hold on you tightening.
“All because of a—” you gasp from a teasing lick under your ear, “a snow globe?”
You’ve learned that Jake likes to leave trails of his kisses; mark after mark to show the places he’s been. It is between the kisses of this trail from your ear to your shoulder that you hear “Partly the snow globe,” after one kiss, “partly this dress,” after another, and then “mostly just because it’s you.”
Jake chuckles when you sigh and wrap your arms around his neck. You could let him continue on for hours—would, too—but a banging on the door snaps you out of your blissful haze.
Cursing, your spine straightens like a rod. “J-Just a second!” you yell, patting Jake’s shoulder. He hums into your sensitive skin, sending vibrations over your pulse. “Jake, I know you heard that. People want in.” There’s another knock, and another. Leaning back and placing your hands on his cheeks, you force Jake to look at you. “Time for you to leave.”
He holds his finger up. “One condition.”
“No conditions,” you say as you nudge him aside and hop off the counter. “There are women out there who have to pee.”
It’s a boom this time, leaving no question as to the person’s impatience. Twisting around, you glance over yourself in the mirror. Your lips are stolen, hair wild, and as you go about fixing it back into place, Jake’s arms wrap around your waist.
“Promise me we can continue this at home,” he says. “I don't want to stop.”
Your eyes meet his in the mirror. “Maybe…if you go.”
“Deal.” One more kiss lands on your shoulder before Jake is unbolting the door and jerking it open for whoever is on the other side. He peeks his head out, glances left and right, then looks back at you. “No one’s here.”
“You still have to go.” His face falls into a pout. “Don’t look at me like that. All of your friends are waiting for you, anyway.”
“They're waiting for you, too.”
“It's not my birthday. And I need to fix myself up a bit.”
Jake grins. Watching his reflection in the mirror, you see his eyes linger on your face and chest, enjoying the flush he caused that is more prominent under the fluorescents. They then make a slow line down your body, taking the time to appreciate your ass along the way. “That really is a great dress.”
Your flush deepens. “Go,” you demand, “I’ll be there in a minute.” He winks and then he’s gone.
A squeeze traps the air in your lungs. It caves in your chest, making the thumping of your heart all the more demanding of your attention, and you roll your eyes when it becomes clear that your body is reacting to you missing him. Two seconds apart and you already want him back, and now you feel like a giddy fool; a horny teenager around the first boy to ever truly want her.
Blowing out that trapped breath, you run your fingers through your hair to tame it. It doesn’t manage to return to its previous state, but there is nothing you can do about it. Neither can you remove that pink shade from your cheeks and chest despite the damp paper towel you blot over your skin. You look half-sexed, and it’s comically obvious. But maybe if you channel Jake Seresin energy and walk back to your friends’ table without looking guilty, they won’t look at you like you have something to be guilty of. Not guilty in a demeaning sense, of course, but guilty in a way that will have them shooting teasing looks at you right before Nat and Millie pull you away from the men for details of your actions.
That will have to be your plan, because there is no chance they won’t notice your altered appearance, especially when they immediately knew why you and Jake were disappearing to begin with.
Shaking your head, you tug at the bottom of your dress to make sure all of its seams line up with where they are supposed to be on your body. When you decide it’s about as good as it’s going to get, you head for the door and pull it open, but your path is blocked.
“Good thing he finally left,” Brit says. She steps forward and to avoid a collision you have to take a step back into the bathroom. “Now we have a chance to talk.”
---
Tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @rogersbarnesxx @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @crowsreadsarahjmaas @mamachasesmayhem @sky2nd @jessicab1991 @rosedurin @averyhotchner @horseshoegirl @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @hookslove1592 @whoeverineedtobe @alwaysclassyeagle @chaytea06 @cherrycolas-things
#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin#jake hangman seresin x reader#top gun maverick#jake seresin fic#top gun#jake hangman seresin fic#top gun hangman#jake seresin x plus size!reader#jake seresin fluff#jake seresin angst#jake seresin fanfic#jake seresin fanfiction
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HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES
Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!
Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)
Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out
Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __
Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...
Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing
Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic
Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out
False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...
Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!
Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%
Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy
Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!
Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag
Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear
Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost
Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...
Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple
Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate
Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles
Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy
Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies
Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]
TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud
Wels Words are hard If you will Super __
xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy
Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha
Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!
More Info
So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!
If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D
Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)
Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc
#Hermitcraft#hermit catchphrases#hermitcraft catchphrases#hermit quotes#hermitcraft quotes#This post is going to update many many times so reblogs might not always be up to date#if you have a suggestion to add please let me know!
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some observations from going down a rabbit hole of japanese language xigbar yesterday
(apologies for the youtube watermarks. i got this clip from this video.)
[Video ID: a fifteen-second clip from a cutscene from kingdom hearts 3D: dream drop distance, with japanese audio and english-language visuals. it's the scene where xigbar tells sora that he's not going to wake up. end ID.]
keep in mind that this clip is just the japanese audio being played over the visuals from the english language release. the subtitles aren't a direct or literal translation of the words being spoken; they correspond to the localized dialogue that the english voice actors wouldve been given
hōchū ōtsuka (xigbar's japanese va) and james patrick stewart (his english va) give, to my ears, pretty similar vocal performances. this is the case for pretty much all of the characters ive seen so far in my xigbar-centric explorations (roxas's vas sound nearly IDENTICAL). the notable exception being xemnas, whose japanese va straight up sounds like he's trying to talk without moving his mouth
in the english dub cutscenes, the character animations often feel...floaty? disconnected? like, because they're not synced up to what the characters are saying and how, their gestures frequently seem random and unmotivated. in retrospect it's obvious that this issue wouldnt be present in the original language because that's the dialogue they would've been animated around in the first place!
now that im actually watching the character animation with the dialogue it was actually done for, i appreciate it a lot more. its so expressive. smiles.
at the end of xigbar's speech here you may notice him saying the phrase "tte hanashi." this is his japanese catchphrase! it means something along the lines of "so they say", "or so I've heard", et cetera. i love "as if" im a big fan of "as if" but i also love the idea of xigbar consistently undermining the information he gives and emphasizing how often he eavesdrops and spies on people.
he says "tte hanashi" very very often. multiple times in most of his scenes that ive seen so far. way more often than the english dub says "as if"
he doesn't say it normal like im pretty sure that's not how you say it in normal speech. like sometimes he does say it normal, but he always draws it out at least a little and often really draws it out, emphasizing it with some kind of gesture, like he does in the clip
seriously if there's a moment in the games where xigbar says something while doing a cunty little gesture he is probably saying "tte hanashi" in the japanese version
this is my new vocal stim. i can't stop saying it
#&BTW im absolutely going to make a supercut of every time he says tte hanashi in the games...once i....actually play 3#&also i know vastly more about japanese than the average person and vastly less than someone who speaks it fluently#im sure there are cultural/character signifiers in the way he speaks that im missing. pensive emoji.#&if you know for sure that any of my information here is wrong pleas let me know thank u. smile!#kh#kingdom hearts#xigbar#blakeposts
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A Beta makes, an Alpha takes
TW: homophobic slurs
Eduardo Garcia was a content creator who, like many others in his field, lived in the SolCal area. He was a self-described ladies man and an amateur pick-up artist. Most of his videos and livestreams focused on giving life advice for men. That night was the same as it always was, with Ed saying his catchphrase, “A beta makes, an alpha takes,” to his impressionable audience.
Once the stream ended and he counted his donations, Ed made his way to the bar. It didn’t take long for him to find another girl to screw. His type was always the same: eager young women new to town and looking for something deep and steady.
After a long and sensual session, the girl whose name he forgot asked if what Ed wanted for breakfast that morning. She had wanted to cuddle, but Ed’s protests kept her at bay. Ed pretended to think for a while before saying, “I’ll treat ya. It’ll be a surprise,” before kissing her.
Around five the following morning, Ed snuck out of her apartment having lost zero winks of sleep that night. ‘Not my fault there’s so many suckers in this town,’ he thought to himself, grinning the whole way back to his apartment. ‘They wouldn’t fall for fellas like me if they had a lick of common sense. I just do what I do. If they don’t wise up then it’s on them.’
That morning should’ve been like all the other ones for Ed. He was in a fantastic mood to grab a quick bite and then spend some time in the gym after scoring as hard as he did the night before. However, just as he reached the floor his apartment was on, he caught sight of his neighbor standing unusually still.
Carlos was exactly everything that Ed hated about the SolCal area. They were in the same field as influencers, but Carlos focused more on “Affirmations of the self,” and “Queer rights,” and other stuff Ed had long-since forgotten about. Carlos had gone to great detail to explain, but Ed had mostly tuned out whatever didn’t relate to Carlos’ follower count or the cash he was making. Knowing the two would never get along, Ed preferred to avoid Carlos altogether, even if he did secretly wish the two would collab so that Ed’s follower count would grow.
Yet, on that morning, Ed couldn’t take his eyes off of Carlos. He stood in front of his apartment door, staring blankly ahead. A few moments passed, but the man didn’t even blink. Ed knew he should just leave him along and mind his own business, but a nosy part of him urged him forward.
“Hey man,” Ed called out, “You okay? You’ve been standing there for like an hour or something.”
Carlos’ head immediately snapped towards the direction of Ed’s voice, causing the latter to nearly jump out of his skin. “I was unable to court another female,” said Carlos in a stilted, unnatural tone. “I was reviewing what I did wrong. Forgive the intrusion.”
‘Court another female. So the fag’s trying to get with chicks, now?’ thought Ed before being struck by a genius business idea. “Good on ya, man!” Any prior concerns about Carlos’ odd behavior were discarded to the wind as Ed wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed. “Good to see ya swinging for the right team. ‘bout time you dropped all that fag shit,” he said, pointing a thumb to the pride flag hanging on Carlos’ door.
“Fag shit…?” echoed Carlos, but he didn’t offer any resistance as he was guided to Ed’s apartment.
“You came to the right place, my friend. Nobody knows how to pick up the ladies quite like this lady-killer.”
“You kill them?”
“Ha-ha! Aw, ya crack me up, big guy. C’mon, I’ll give ya a few pointers.” For Ed, giving Carlos several of his lessons and even showing him the streaming setup was an investment. He was gaining much money from doing this, but all he needed was to win Carlos’ trust over and he’d be swimming in new subs and a brand new market to sell. There just had to be guys who played for both teams on Carlos’ faggy audience, he assured himself.
After about half an hour of coaching, Carlos repeated Ed’s lessons like a college student cramming for a final. “A beta makes, an alpha takes.” For whatever reason Carlos seemed particularly fond of that phrase.
“We’re the men. The providers! That’s why we gotta remind this pussified society who’s really in charge. The alphas,” said Ed, flexing his bicep to punctuate his point. His body was one of the few things he had worked honestly for. Steroids and diets were a frequent topics in his online rants. To Ed, if one couldn’t get a body like his naturally, then they couldn’t call themselves a real man.
“And this has worked to acquire mates?”
“Mates? Bro, I’m swimming in pussy. And soon you will too,” said Ed. He lightly tapped Carlos’ chest. “With a bod like this? It’ll be even easier. Stick with me and I’ll get you laid. Just, uh, don’t forget ‘bout that collab I mentioned.”
Carlos, after what seemed like an eternity of stone-cold stoicism, finally cracked a smile. “Yes, I would love to collaborate with you.”
“Awesome! Lemme get something to celebrate.” It was still early in the morning, but it was always five o’clock somewhere, right? Ed made hi way over to his fridge and pulled some of the quality beer. The cheap stuff was reserved for those rare moments he had a girl over. “We gotta celebrate this new friendship of ours, my man. I got--!”
Carlos tackled Ed as he walked back to the living room. The two crashed onto one of his couches in a mess of struggling limbs. “Yo, what the fuck, man?!” cried Ed. He tried to push Carlos off, but froze as he saw Carlos’ body convulsing and his eyes rolling up, showing the whites. Seizure? Stroke?
Before Ed could reach for his phone in his pocket, Carlos leaned forward and locked lips with him. As soon as the two made contact, a slimy creature flowed from Carlos’ mouth into Ed. Once the substance made contact with Ed, his body began unresponsive. He tried to struggle and push Carlos off of him, but his arms remained heavy and limp. More and more of the slime pumped into Ed until Carlos’ body, unconscious yet still convulsing rolled off of the couch.
Ed couldn’t move but he could still feel a chilling sensation spread throughout his body, filling him up. The slime crawled down his throat and began to expand inside of him. Most of it traveled down his esophagus and began to assimilate his core, arms, legs, and toes. Each limb seized and shook as it became corrupted by the invader.
Ed tried to scream as it fell the creature fill his head and coating his brain, yet he could do nothing but endure the sickening yet pleasurable feeling. It was filling him up, and for whatever reason, Ed couldn’t help but enjoy the way the creature dominated him. His body, still unresponsive to his pleas for help, merely humped the air and sensually moan as it was taken over.
Eventually, Ed blacked out. The last thing he perceived was his hands touching his face and his own laughter.
~~~
‘Please, give me my body back,’ whined Ed.
“Give it a rest, Ed,” the creature possessing Ed said, grinning to himself. “Thank you for providing this impressive specimen, by the way. I quite enjoyed the takeover.” He tilted his head as he read the magazine. “Hmm, you are well-endowed, indeed. Perfect for my mission.”
A few days had passed since the creature slithered into Ed’s body. Ed had woken up to see his body piloted by some kind of foreign invader. Despite Ed’s pleads, it refused to give up control, saying, “I’ve been needing a strong and virile specimen to breed and spread.”
‘You can’t fucking do this to me! It’s not right,’ Ed begged from the recesses of his own mind. ‘I’m a human being. I don’t deserve this!’
“Your mind is intact, is that not enough for you?” the creature said as he jerked Ed’s cock in the couch. “You could have ended up like my previous experiment. Right, Carlos?”
“Right you are, my alpha,” said the thing inside of Carlos. Ed tried to look away from Carlos’ naked and puppeted body, but the creature didn’t have the decency to give him that.
Carlos was not the creature’s first victim, but it was the first that didn’t suffer massive brain damage from the creature’s invasive efforts. However, the creature still hadn’t quite managed to access Carlos’ memories and personality. It had managed to figure out the basics and just needed one more attempt to do a proper possession. Ed was the creature’s first success, and it wouldn’t be the last.
“What else do you wish, my master?” said Carlos as he eagerly marched over to Ed, swaying his hips and sticking his ass out as he spoke. “Do you want to breed me once more? Fill me up with more of your spawn so I may go and spread?”
While Carlos hadn’t suffered brain damage, but the trauma of the invasion caused him to become catatonic. To remedy this, Carlos was the first one to received the creature’s spawn. The creature, riding high thanks to Ed’s disgust at the homosexual act, fucked Carlos’ body and let one of its children pilot the still-living husk.
“Please, act a bit more like your host would. Keep reviewing the videos.” Ed mentally screamed to himself as his invader forced him to say that. Even if the creatures had little idea as to how to blend in society, the sheer amount of content that Carlos and he made would guarantee that they had plenty of references for impersonating them. “Later, I’ll pump you full. I just… need to explore this body of mine a bit more.”
Carlos cleared his throat before giving a sweet, nonchalant smile. “No prob, my man. Later we should go out, though. Get familiar with the area.” He winked and said, “Later,” just as Carlos always did.
‘Please, let me go,’ Ed tried once more. The idea of the creature doing this to his friends and family, acting like him the whole time, was a hell he couldn’t bear. ‘I-I’ll even hook you up with another better. Better bodies, just please let me go…’ Ed internally sobbed.
“You’re quite pathetic,” the creature sneered as it violated Ed’s body once more. “Where’s your bravado, Eddie~? You were swimming in pussy just a few days ago. Now you’re pounding men and craving cock.” Ed’s body let out a malicious laugh as ropes of cum erupted from his stolen dick. “It’s like you always said. A beta makes, an alpha takes.”
#male possession#male body possession#slime possession#gay male possession#gay possession#gay story#gay fiction
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It's time for another addition of 'A new episode of something cinna really likes just came out so now they have to rant about it!
(Spoilers for tadc episode 4)
-ragatha trying to teach gangle to pitch auughh
-"You're wasting your time raggy" SHUT UP
-yesss chew his ass out ragatha
-This episode was such a huge w for us abstradgedy shippers
-side tangent, I loooove gangle's voice
-Her signature catchphrase!!
-"The curse of the violent psychopath butcher!" Bro is trying SO hard
-No fr it's so funny that caine only has the human emotion capacity to equate 'mature' to 'scary'.
-THERE WAS A SUGGESTION BOX THIS WHOLE TIME?!
-Not the zooble pinata...
-THIS SCREENSHOT IS KILLING ME LMAOAOAO
-Why are bubble's and caine's tongues connected...
-NOOO KINGER SITS IT OUTTT QnQ we get like no content of him in this episode I'm so sad
-"You can shut up now! :D"
-"Being a shift manager was my job at one point" LORE?!
-As someone looking to go into the culinary service field, love the mention of non-slip shoes
-I'm such a sadist when it comes to Jax. (Also amy come get your man off the floor)
-GET MY WIFE OUT OF THERE?! THOSE ARE FUCKING 3RD DEGREE BURNS!! THAT'S LITERALLY BOILING OIL!!
-This zesty ass man.
-PUNISHMENT?! GANGLE WOAH.
-GANGLE PULL HER OUT!!
-"It's called a manic episode!" So true queen. I love how this episode really pushes the bpd allegory gangle's masks have
-"This is really weird" YA THINK?
-Zooble burning their hand :(
-I love orbsman. I also love that they can just understand him for some reason.
-Jax constantly checking the clock is so me
-"i'm addicted :3"
-High ass ragatha. Oh I love you high ragatha.
-I THOUGHT THIS WASNT A HORROR ADVENTURE
-abstrabbit crumbs yayyyyy!!!
-"Caine's not gonna do anything malicious, it's not in his nature" Just a line I wanna put a pin in.
-GUMMIGOO NOOO. HE DOESN'T REMEMBER HER IM GONNA KMS
-I can't even blame her for being so awkward. Like imagine watching your friend die and then they show up, no memory whatsoever, at your fucking job
-"She's flirting with the gummy guy." this one line is gonna spark so much ragapom and funnygummy art, i just know it.
-I love that ragatha's more honest in calling people out while high. Go off queen.
-"I wish someone would flirt with me.." I WILL!!! I WILL!!!
-The occasional cracking sounds when gangle is annoyed is SUCH GOOD FORESHADOWING
-"... Does this count as a bus?"
-GLOINK QUEEN!!!!!
-She named all her kiddddsss :(
-"well that doesn't really sound like a can-do attitude to me!" "it's not."
-"You're better when you're sad" KILL YOURSELF NOW!!
-Nothing to say here I just like this screenshot
-Gangle wanted to be a comic artist in life, but gave up on the dream.
-WHAT IS GOING ON
-"Huffing paint?! AND NOT WAITING UNTIL A DESIGNATED BREAK?!"
-"I miss my horses" Ragatha probably had horses of her own in life
-"No offense, but you're kind of annoying when you have your happy mask." You're sleeping on the couch tonight Ragatha.
-Someone get her a therapist, and I DON'T mean Caine.
-"Yeah that clock's broken." good job queen
-Why is there ANY information on gloink reproduction. And is that the sex joke goose was talking about?
-"I like.. hate you, but I don't want you to hate me" So real!! ow!!
-The little casual moment between jax and pomni, and all of the characters in this episode, makes me so happy.
-Me core
-Pomni has such a big heart I love her so fucking much.
-"Oh Ragatha.. I love her, but after a while it gets hard to tell how genuine she's actually being" THIS IS SUCH A GOOD LINE!!! I love how it shows how Ragatha is really trying her best, but she's been worn down so much over the years that they can tell her kindness is a mask, sort of like gangle's comedy mask.
-(Also gangle said 'i love her' in reference to ragatha, w for the gangle x ragatha shippers)
-real.
-I love how we get to see zooble's softer side in this episode.
-Gangle's not having a good time: the musical
-Again, pomni is just so sweet :(
-Ok but why does this ending sequence eat so hard
-EXCUSE ME
-I could go into a whole rant abt how this ending could possibly hint to all the cast being dead, and how this ending is a sort of recreation of Gangle's death, but I'm not sure goose would do that. It's a plausible theory after this episode, but i don't think the "They're all dead and living in a digital purgatory" theory fits the themes of the show well.
-Gangle chooses to be honest, even when faced with possible consequences.
-ROYALTEETH CRUMBS!!! I like to imagine Caine and Kinger went on their own little date adventure :3
-C&A logo on Caine's computer
-Family guy death pose and a reference to that one weird bootleg caine costume
-"and now I don't think anybody wants to talk to me anymore" My autistic ass relates to that a little too much
-"I still like talking to you" AHHHHHHHHHH <3
-"I always like seeing what you draw" CRYING
Overall, I thought episode 4 was really good. Probably my least favorite so far, really just because of the slower pacing. I can't wait to see what's next!!
#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#tadc kinger#tadc ragatha#tadc jax#tadc pomni#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#tadc gummigoo#tadc episode 4#fast food masquerade
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