#this is mostly just me venting

[rainbowbokchoy]

This doesn't apply to everyone, but when I say I'm genderfluid I'm referring to my experience with gender. Yes, I am technically nonbinary, but that doesn't mean referring to me as a man or a woman is incorrect.

When I say I'm genderfluid, it means my gender is fluid, which should be self-explanatory. But many of the people in my life don't refer to me as a man or a woman, but rather always as a person or "something unidentified" (as a joke but come on). Sometimes, they refuse to refer to me as a woman/man, even when I've asked them to. Other times, specific people will go out of their way to correct me when I refer to myself as a man or a woman, and instead tell me that "I am a non-binary person."

This technically is true. Being genderfluid means I fall under the umbrella of non-binary people. But that shouldn't stop me from identifying as a woman or a man and calling myself such. Because that's beauty of genderfluidity: being able to change your gender based on what feels most comfortable.

In my mind, the term genderfluid means that my gender is fluid. It will change. Meaning that when I feel like a woman but you insist on calling me a non-binary person because "that's what I really am", you're really just overlaying your own experiences/knowledge of genderfluidity/other gender identities onto mine and pretending that you know better when it's not your body and mind.

When I feel like a man, I am a man. When I feel like a woman, I am a woman. When I feel like a non-binary person, I am a non-binary person.

Please don't trap me in the box of your understanding. Please respect both the non-binary AND the fluid parts of my identity. Thanks.

Note: I want to reiterate that this is my personal experience with genderfluidity, and thus doesn't apply to every single genderfluid person. I just wanted to voice my frustrations on what (I hope) is simply a misunderstanding about my genderfluidity and not the persisting stigma that genderfluid people don't actually exist. This is not meant to be educational or defining about the genderfluid experience in any way, since it greatly varies from person to person.

[almondpiglet]

detach deflect distract dependent

[fallingsatellive]

“It’s obviously valid to be bugkin but you also can’t just expect people to get over it when they have a genuine fear!”

I’m afraid of dogs.

Dogs put me extremely on edge. I avoid them while outside and if one’s in a room with me I’ll try to leave or else start to panic. Especially medium-sized and larger breeds. Mere images of dogs may not give me a panic attack, I will admit that, it's not a phobia. But if you want to talk hypocrisy, if you're opening up that discussion:

Hey dog therians, dog otherhearted folks and clinical cynanthropes, what if everywhere you went, the unspoken attitude of the alterhuman community was—

Don’t post dog photos or talk about being a dog in the main alterhuman tags. Don’t talk about your shifts, your instincts, or your kind in the main tags. If you’re a CZ, don’t talk so openly about your biological reality. It’s extremely triggering for people with cynophobia. The idea of physically being or becoming a dog grosses them out to briefly think about, so try not to discuss your literal existence. If you must, at least trigger tag yourself with #tw dogs or #tw dog mention so people can stay safe by censoring things that will hurt their mental health. It’s okay if you’re dogkin but in my DNI I'm going to write something like, don’t follow me if your blog hosts too many graphic close-up images of dogs doing dog things, even if you censor them. Don’t add dog photos to open posts in the alterhuman tags, you have no idea who might be sent into a panic attack by images of yourself so you should play it safe and only put them on your own posts. And stop being so offended by people who comment on posts about pet dogs or dog facts saying they want to bleach their eyes or kill it with fire, they can’t help having a phobia.

Not great, is it? Fortunately, and I do genuinely mean that, this is a sentiment you will only see once, on this post, completely satirically. Except it’s just a real sentiment for bug therians/hearted and other invertebrate alterhumans. Of course what I said was satire. But if it pissed you off when you thought it might not be, please, contemplate on that reaction, really spend some time on it.

Also, if you're wondering what I mean by "other invertebrate alterhumans", (and I'm sorry for how heated I got when I was writing this part last night even after editing it down)

You know I’m a bug zoanthrope too, not just a bird? And see above if you're wondering why I never said shit about it, just said I was a centipede therian and even then said I was just questioning and didn't really talk much about it. Am I allowed to talk about it without tagging it #tw body horror, even though I obviously don’t fucking find my own body to be horror? Can I talk about it without tagging it #tw bugs like just the very thing that I am needs to be censored for people's well-being? I'm sorry if I come across judgmental. Offline I constantly interact with people saying they’re a nature lover but centipedes are the only thing on Earth that they still hate. And I have to come online knowing that any of those people could be bloggers in the alterhuman tags and it’s my responsibility to tiptoe around them. “Because centipedes are scary and disgusting.” Because I’m scary and disgusting. My brain is not capable of hearing a difference and I can’t change that. It is so much my reality that it's the same emotional mix of anger and anxiety and hurt that would be (has been, lol) triggered by someone ranting about how much they hate Jews or trans people to me.

[civetside]

me and my endless lesbian yearning

[sunlit-mess]

noticing in your vents—

is your sister okay too?

We laugh, sure, but we both know we're not ok.

[al-luviec]

vito

[eru-iru]

apathy

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

[manasurge]

Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)

[lilybug-02]

WOW.

I've been bed ridden sick for 2 days now and i have a test I haven't been able to study for tomorrow. And I also get my wisdom teeth taken out the day after. AND I also may have an exam on that day as well. I'm going to cry now 👍

[tychos-huzband]

the worst thing about being a non-sharing selfshipper for a specific character and feeling uncomfortable with ships of that character is when you become mutuals with someone that ships someone else with that character or also loves that character but they're a really nice person and you get along really well but you're terrified to say anything because you feel like you're going to die within the hour if you do

[ozonecologne]

.

[scammydoesstuff]

Been a minute since I've been able to draw or even post anything. And that's cuz I've been busy af with a job that's been slowly killing me for the last 8 months. But it's all good; I'm actually leaving that shithole at the end of the week. Yay! Maybe that means I can open up commissions again since I'll actually have time for them? Who's to say...

Anyway! Had a rough weekend at Fan Expo Chicago last week, and I've kinda had this in mind to draw ever since my disappointing interaction with Neil Newbon. He was very nice, but it felt pretty clear that he only really cared about Astarion. And, like, to a degree I get it? Astarion seems like a cool character that means a lot to a lot of people, but to act like no one cares anymore about Resident Evil Village cuz it's an "older game" (his words, not mine), kinda killed my mood for the weekend. Not to mention coming back with COVID. That was also a bummer...

*I* still love Heisenberg, at least. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. ❤️‍🩹

[notwerewolf]

trying to sort out my conflictions on a topic. yesterday i (a korean transmasc) was talking about being trans with a white transmasc i had just met. they had assumed i was transfem and they gave me tips on how to pass better as a woman. i haven't had top surgery or testosterone, i have a high pitched voice and i don't look very masculine besides having short hair. and maybe i am just jumping to conclusions/reaching, but it was reminiscent of how like. the western perception of cis korean men (and often east asian men in general) is typically skewed feminine or waifish or nonthreatening etc. therefore, being presented with someone that looks like me (afab asian with short hair), i end up mirroring their kdrama softboys and such. which might be why i wasnt having the internal "clocked wrong direction" party that i thought i shouldve

[deoidesign]

I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.

same disability (waving hand emoji)

Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me

[jackmkelly]

idk much about newsies uk as a production, can i know more about why you have beef with it? :-0

OVERALLLLLL i do love newsies uk and it was great and gave me the greatest joys (michaels jack, brontés kath, brooklyn girls) HOWEVER!!!! i Can always and Will always be critical of the things i love and newsies wont ever be an exception 🤕🤕

tooooooo many injuries happened in that show ! and .. fine its newsies ppl do get hurt when its so dance heavy it happened on bway and tour as well (but come on that shouldnt be normalized either lol). especially when its all about unions and how safety on the job is LITERALLY mentioned

it also eventually reached a point where brooklyn being all girls felt incredibly disingenuous. it didnt feel like it was supposed to be an empowering moment for kids in the audience and instead was just a way for the team to be like “we’re the version that had brooklyn girls” and that bugs me! and because kath and medda had alternates (which is a good thing pleaseeee normalize alts!🤞) brooklyn was down to 5 instead of 6 twice a week…. totally couldve been avoided if they just also hired an off stage female swing (i understand budget and all that but come on… if youre gonna flex ur girls make sure u have them lol). not to mention the fact that due to sickness and injury the boys had to cover brooklyn multiple times, which would be fine if the same rules applied the other way.. but it didnt… and that really urks me. theres No reason one of the girls couldnt have helped out in the manhattan ensemble when the boys were allowed to cover brooklyn

(i think newsies should be the most blindly casted show ever like who said they all have to be guys… open a book about the strike and they really werent so its just kinda tired to see it over and over again)

also in regards to the girls the element of surprise stopped being a valid excuse to not credit them accordingly after they put the girls on television so program still not saying lillie was spot by cast change even tho ever single man to play that role had it right in the playbill is icky to me

also once and for all is my favorite song in the show and i hate the way it was done there but thats its own issue

++ also also fan behavior was honestly atrocious and disgusting bc a lot of ppl were hiding racism and ableism behind “support for understudies!” bc why did people Want jack and crutchie specifically out a lot more than they wanted a davey or kath understudy but thats its own conversation.