#this is mostly just me venting

[rainbowbokchoy]

This doesn't apply to everyone, but when I say I'm genderfluid I'm referring to my experience with gender. Yes, I am technically nonbinary, but that doesn't mean referring to me as a man or a woman is incorrect.

When I say I'm genderfluid, it means my gender is fluid, which should be self-explanatory. But many of the people in my life don't refer to me as a man or a woman, but rather always as a person or "something unidentified" (as a joke but come on). Sometimes, they refuse to refer to me as a woman/man, even when I've asked them to. Other times, specific people will go out of their way to correct me when I refer to myself as a man or a woman, and instead tell me that "I am a non-binary person."

This technically is true. Being genderfluid means I fall under the umbrella of non-binary people. But that shouldn't stop me from identifying as a woman or a man and calling myself such. Because that's beauty of genderfluidity: being able to change your gender based on what feels most comfortable.

In my mind, the term genderfluid means that my gender is fluid. It will change. Meaning that when I feel like a woman but you insist on calling me a non-binary person because "that's what I really am", you're really just overlaying your own experiences/knowledge of genderfluidity/other gender identities onto mine and pretending that you know better when it's not your body and mind.

When I feel like a man, I am a man. When I feel like a woman, I am a woman. When I feel like a non-binary person, I am a non-binary person.

Please don't trap me in the box of your understanding. Please respect both the non-binary AND the fluid parts of my identity. Thanks.

Note: I want to reiterate that this is my personal experience with genderfluidity, and thus doesn't apply to every single genderfluid person. I just wanted to voice my frustrations on what (I hope) is simply a misunderstanding about my genderfluidity and not the persisting stigma that genderfluid people don't actually exist. This is not meant to be educational or defining about the genderfluid experience in any way, since it greatly varies from person to person.

[almondpiglet]

detach deflect distract dependent

[fallingsatellive]

“It’s obviously valid to be bugkin but you also can’t just expect people to get over it when they have a genuine fear!”

I’m afraid of dogs.

Dogs put me extremely on edge. I avoid them while outside and if one’s in a room with me I’ll try to leave or else start to panic. Especially medium-sized and larger breeds. Mere images of dogs may not give me a panic attack, I will admit that, it's not a phobia. But if you want to talk hypocrisy, if you're opening up that discussion:

Hey dog therians, dog otherhearted folks and clinical cynanthropes, what if everywhere you went, the unspoken attitude of the alterhuman community was—

Don’t post dog photos or talk about being a dog in the main alterhuman tags. Don’t talk about your shifts, your instincts, or your kind in the main tags. If you’re a CZ, don’t talk so openly about your biological reality. It’s extremely triggering for people with cynophobia. The idea of physically being or becoming a dog grosses them out to briefly think about, so try not to discuss your literal existence. If you must, at least trigger tag yourself with #tw dogs or #tw dog mention so people can stay safe by censoring things that will hurt their mental health. It’s okay if you’re dogkin but in my DNI I'm going to write something like, don’t follow me if your blog hosts too many graphic close-up images of dogs doing dog things, even if you censor them. Don’t add dog photos to open posts in the alterhuman tags, you have no idea who might be sent into a panic attack by images of yourself so you should play it safe and only put them on your own posts. And stop being so offended by people who comment on posts about pet dogs or dog facts saying they want to bleach their eyes or kill it with fire, they can’t help having a phobia.

Not great, is it? Fortunately, and I do genuinely mean that, this is a sentiment you will only see once, on this post, completely satirically. Except it’s just a real sentiment for bug therians/hearted and other invertebrate alterhumans. Of course what I said was satire. But if it pissed you off when you thought it might not be, please, contemplate on that reaction, really spend some time on it.

Also, if you're wondering what I mean by "other invertebrate alterhumans", (and I'm sorry for how heated I got when I was writing this part last night even after editing it down)

You know I’m a bug zoanthrope too, not just a bird? And see above if you're wondering why I never said shit about it, just said I was a centipede therian and even then said I was just questioning and didn't really talk much about it. Am I allowed to talk about it without tagging it #tw body horror, even though I obviously don’t fucking find my own body to be horror? Can I talk about it without tagging it #tw bugs like just the very thing that I am needs to be censored for people's well-being? I'm sorry if I come across judgmental. Offline I constantly interact with people saying they’re a nature lover but centipedes are the only thing on Earth that they still hate. And I have to come online knowing that any of those people could be bloggers in the alterhuman tags and it’s my responsibility to tiptoe around them. “Because centipedes are scary and disgusting.” Because I’m scary and disgusting. My brain is not capable of hearing a difference and I can’t change that. It is so much my reality that it's the same emotional mix of anger and anxiety and hurt that would be (has been, lol) triggered by someone ranting about how much they hate Jews or trans people to me.

[civetside]

me and my endless lesbian yearning

[sunlit-mess]

noticing in your vents—

is your sister okay too?

We laugh, sure, but we both know we're not ok.

[al-luviec]

vito

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

[eru-iru]

apathy

[dykedvonte]

I think everyone but Jimmy would believe in Aliens to an extent and have a weird story about something that happened while in space that they link back or like a UFO or alien.

Curly talks about blips on the radar that move to fast or irrationally to be regular space debris. Too uniform or too fluidly, they disappear too fast too. Anya talks about weird flickering and medbay or like odd flashes on the day screen that are too direct and specific to be simple glitches. Swansea talks about random mechanics on the ship giving out in odd ways, he’s been working for years and things don’t work like that, maybe even a gear or sprocket found after landing he swears is to foreign to be manmade but P.E always confiscates it. Daisuke always wanted to believe and takes the experiences of his very serious superiors, especially Swansea, as proof and wonders if the Tulpar is like a magnet for extraterrestrial happenings.

Jimmy thinks it’s stupid because why would aliens waste time doing all those little things and not just like abduct them? His ass obviously sees one and no one believes him cause they think they just being a jerk and messing with them, even Curly.

[thattheater-kid]

Hey guys, PSA. If you have a friend who is sex repulsed aroace and has made this clear to you, and does not like talking about sex in relation to the idea of them doing it with someone, do not under any circumstances make fucking sex jokes at them.

I’m not talking about jokes about sex, that’s one thing. I’m talking about jokes about having sex with them. It’s weird, gross, and makes us uncomfortable. Why would you even. why would you. why would anyone joke about having sex. with anyone. who wasn’t their partner. Let alone someone who is very much not a fan of sex.

[manasurge]

Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)

[lilybug-02]

WOW.

I've been bed ridden sick for 2 days now and i have a test I haven't been able to study for tomorrow. And I also get my wisdom teeth taken out the day after. AND I also may have an exam on that day as well. I'm going to cry now 👍

[tychos-huzband]

the worst thing about being a non-sharing selfshipper for a specific character and feeling uncomfortable with ships of that character is when you become mutuals with someone that ships someone else with that character or also loves that character but they're a really nice person and you get along really well but you're terrified to say anything because you feel like you're going to die within the hour if you do

[fraternum-momentum]

respectfully, how is macy not dead from all that blood loss?🥹🥹

i dunno maybe sadie is just rlly good at aftercaree

[ozonecologne]

.

[scammydoesstuff]

Been a minute since I've been able to draw or even post anything. And that's cuz I've been busy af with a job that's been slowly killing me for the last 8 months. But it's all good; I'm actually leaving that shithole at the end of the week. Yay! Maybe that means I can open up commissions again since I'll actually have time for them? Who's to say...

Anyway! Had a rough weekend at Fan Expo Chicago last week, and I've kinda had this in mind to draw ever since my disappointing interaction with Neil Newbon. He was very nice, but it felt pretty clear that he only really cared about Astarion. And, like, to a degree I get it? Astarion seems like a cool character that means a lot to a lot of people, but to act like no one cares anymore about Resident Evil Village cuz it's an "older game" (his words, not mine), kinda killed my mood for the weekend. Not to mention coming back with COVID. That was also a bummer...

*I* still love Heisenberg, at least. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. ❤️‍🩹