#this is like the 18th one you sent dumbass | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

barzzal · 4 years ago

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between halls and thin walls → part two

summary: friends who fool around almost never work. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: swearing, sex toys, masturbation, sexual/suggestive themes, and yenno, mathew :(

↳ genre: angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+ minors dni*

↳ length: series; part one, part two (5.9k), part three, part four, part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: listened to a lot of beyoncé for this one !!

note: part two’s here!! and i know it’s late for an update but i just wanna thank everyone for commenting on the first part 🥺 really glad that you guys liked it. reading your tags are everything to me it means a lot! happy reading <3 (gif used: mine)

You come out of your bedroom dressed and ready for work. Your handbag was slung over the depth of your forearm as you headed for the kitchen and the other, scrolling past emails on your phone, admittedly bracing yourself for the mess you know will eventually greet you.

To your surprise, what you see instead were Mat Barzal’s guns rippling through the jet black sweater he had worn last night. A memory that sent your mind to less than eight hours ago, before eventually landing on what happened shortly when the two of you had woken up.

“Thank god you haven’t burnt the house down.” you kid, placing your handbag atop the island.

Mat spares you a quick glance, rolling his eyes whilst he lets you watch him whisk some eggs for breakfast.

“Like it?” he cocks, pertaining to how your eyes were pinned hard on his biceps that he was, for the most part, effortlessly sporting. It’s true, though. He didn’t need to flex because it was just there.

“Coffee or Juice?” he asks, as the kind friend and roommate that he is.

Anthony, as surprising as it was, takes incredibly long showers. If people hadn’t known him well, they’d easily think he’s abusing himself there. But you’ve got to admit that not having him around felt nice for you didn’t have to feel so seen with Mathew.

‘Course, there’s nothing more, like a fix-in on the side, to your set up. You just appreciate the feeling of not having to lie to Beau about all the ugly concealed underneath all the innocent gazes you and Mathew exchange.

“Coffee.” you answer shortly, realizing that you forgot the material you need for today’s meeting.

“Where are you going?” Mat asks when he catches you receding out into the hallway. You didn’t bother looking back, “Forgot something!”

He gets back to whisking the eggs when a chime comes off his phone. He takes it from the counter, placed just before the plates he left to dry last night, absent-mindedly putting the bowl he was holding onto the island, toppling over the green juice he has prepared for himself.

“Shit.” he curses as soon as he sees it for it was already spilling all over the place, making the mess you’ve been secretly anticipating the moment Mathew said he’d make breakfast.

Panicking at how you’d see he’s successfully screwed such a no-brainer task, Mat grabs the first thing he sees on the marbled surface and uses it to clean the mess he’d made.

“Huh.” he muses to himself, realizing that the silk fabric didn’t do much in helping him clean up. He tosses it over the sink carelessly and grabs a few napkin rolls from one of the cupboards.

So much for making an effort to feed Anthony Beauvillier.

“Now, that was fast.” you say with a smirk once you’ve entered the kitchen, startling Mathew as he continued cleaning up after his mess.

“Ha-ha. Very funny.” he sarcastically laughs, discarding the paper towels onto the sink along with the used ones.

Thankfully, your stuff was at the other side of the island so it was very much safe from all the chaos happening at the other end of the marbled surface. However, your laugh dies down the second you realize that your handkerchief was no longer where you’ve last put it.

“Hey,” you call on Mathew, “What’s up?”

“Have you seen my handkerchief? I know I left it somewhere.” you anxiously ask, eyeing every corner of the room hoping to see Nana’s handkerchief, the one she gave to you on your 18th birthday.

“What does it look like?” Mat asks, now holding a pan in his hand as he prepares breakfast.

You proceeded to describe your grandma’s handkerchief in the most specific and perhaps excruciating detail Mathew has ever heard someone talk about something as mind-numbing as a handkerchief.

Despite that, Mat lights up the moment it hits him, not realizing the bigger mess he’s about to walk into. He rejoices at how he knew exactly what you were looking for, “Oh! You mean this?”

With clueless eyes, you watch Mat go over the sink after he wipes his hands dry, fishing out an all too familiar fabric from the sink. Once your eyes land onto the cream colored silk handkerchief, with details carefully sewn by hand, drenching in what seems to be Mat’s morning drink, your heart falls to the pit of your stomach.

“What did you do??” The sudden rise in your voice startles an unsuspecting Mathew. You eagerly went over to his side and hastily snatched the smooth fabric off his hands, “It’s ruined!”

“What? I didn’t know it was yours!” Mat’s eyes are wild with confusion. Puzzled at how you were so fixated on the useless fabric. It didn’t help him anyway. There’s nothing much left to do but to throw it. It’s garbage.

“You ruined it!” you lash out, letting Mat get eaten up by the sudden anger bubbling inside your guts but he was rather quick in defending himself, “I didn’t know it was yours since I grabbed the first thing I could find. Why are you getting upset over a shit-ass handkerchief?”

Your mouth falls and you shake your head, finding his defensiveness quite appalling. “You’re an ass.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was yours.” he explains, “Come on, it’s just a stupid handkerchief I’ll just buy you a new one.” he tries to laugh the tension off, sporting his signature grin.

Mat take shots of the stunned expression on your face, “Stupid?” you repeat what he said, your eyes already starting to sting with tears. Clearly, you were far too overwhelmed to even acknowledge Mathew’s half-assed apology.

“You’re a fucking asshole.” your words bite and that’s when things took a turn for the worse.

“I said I was fucking sorry! What the hell do you want from me? Shit a fucking hanky?” he rans a hand through his hair, “Do you realize how childish you’re being right now?”

Outraged, and perhaps disappointed by how he was too high up his horse, your voice takes up a higher tone, entering what seems to be an early screaming match between you and Mathew.

“Could you just–” you breathe, “for one second– stop being so goddamn stupid and get over yourself!?” were words that welcomed Anthony the moment he stepped into the kitchen, towel wrapped around his waist, a grin on his face visible as he poured himself a glass of water, inviting himself in the screaming match you and Mathew have exclusively put forth for him.

“Stupid is not when you’ve already apologized a hundred times! Stupid is being such a crybaby and a bitch about it!” Mathew retorts, gaining his better end of the argument.

“What a beautiful morning, isn’t it?” Anthony chimes in, a hand resting on his chin, adoring his two best friends upon getting used to the best worst duo he’s ever known in his life.

“Shut up, Beau.” you say, throwing him a glare.

“Well, beautiful is definitely not in Y/N’s dictionary.” Mathew chides with a smirk, enough to earn himself a scoff from you.

“You know what? I don’t have the time for this bullshit.” you cuss, finally retreating, your already heavy heart taking a better hold on your thoughts, blocking your ability to even come up with a clever remark to come back at Mathew.

You throw the delicate, yet already ruined piece of fabric towards his way as hard as you could before marching out of the kitchen and head off for work.

“Fucking unbelievable.” Mathew curses under his breath once he catches the silk linen, shaking his head as he turns his attention back to the morning task at hand.

You were fucking unbelievable.

Once the boys were left alone, Tito raises a brow, briefly looking back after your footsteps, “What happened here, anyway?” he asks, having realized what must’ve caused such a heated argument so early in the morning.

“I used this handkerchief to wipe the whole thing off and she just went ape shit! I mean–” Anthony cuts Mathew the moment he recognizes the thin cloth he was holding.

“Woah, woah. Wait a minute, you used this?” he muses, stressing on the possibility of what might have been Mathew’s biggest mistake of the day, his eyes darting between him and the fabric.

With furrowed brows, admittedly weirded by how Anthony reacted almost the same way you did a while ago. “It’s just a handkerchief, man. I can go buy her a bunch if that’s what she wants.” he says defensively.

Anthony shakes his head wildly, his irises now dilated as he examined the stain already sitting on the material. “No no. Oh god no.” He says, snatching Mathew’s phone from the counter to google quick remedies that might remove the said stain from the already ruined cloth.

“What do you mean no? You guys spend way too much time together, you’re beginning to be as weird as her.” He scoffs, sipping on a glass of water.

“No, you dumbass. This was her grandma’s!” Anthony says, eyes fixated on the delicate handkerchief. Remembering how you’d told him how long it has been in your family that having Nana give it to you after all the years you’ve spent admiring it from afar meant so much to you than anything anyone could have possibly given you.

“So?” Mat casually replies, closing his arms to his chest before adding, “Is she dead or something? Didn’t you guys visit her for the Holidays?”

“What?? Why would you even say that?– You’re such a jerk.” Tito shakes his head, appalled by how Mathew easily shrugged the matter off when he knew full well how sentimental he himself could be.

“Well, how am I supposed to know?? If that thing’s so important I wouldn’t leave it on top of some random shit lying around!” He counters, defending himself for reaching for the nearest cloth he could find when he did whatever he does best when he’s in the kitchen.

Tito clicks his tongue and looks at Mathew exasperatedly, “Tell me, where did you find this exactly?”, to which Mathew only answered with a quiet voice, “It may or may not have been placed on top of her purse…” he avoids Tito’s gaze, finally catching on how he was the one in the wrong.

“See? Jerk. Now, go figure out how you’ll take the stain off.” Anthony demands, his voice embraced by a definitive tone. One that made Mathew know he wouldn’t be able to persuade him into letting this go.

Tito takes one good look at Mat’s catastrophic attempt to feed the house, striding his way out of the kitchen, “And make sure you apologize!” he adds, footsteps receding into the hallway, leaving Mathew scratching the back of his head out of guilt and frustration.

You have spent the following days either avoiding Mathew or ignoring his existence completely. Anthony talked to you the night that incident happened and assured you that he would do his best to have it fixed. You didn’t want to bother him nor take time off his already busy schedule, but you were just so bummed to even say a word.

That night, you spent the entire evening in your room, facetiming your mother, saying how much you’re missing home. You can’t bring yourself to tell her about the handkerchief. For some people, and that people being Mathew, it might’ve been just some silly thing but Tito knew how much that small piece of cloth meant to you.

Mathew, on the one hand, was for sure guilty to his bones. He didn’t see you that night nor the nights that followed. He didn’t think much of it but when he found himself searching for that same handkerchief in the hopes of replacing it only to find out that it was nowhere to be found in the market, was when he did realize that ruining the one thing that held you closer to home was the last push your non-existent relationship with him had to have for you to finally lose any ounce of amour nor civility you once had for him.

Anthony wasn’t a stranger for said changes either. He began waking up to a still apartment enveloped by a wall you profusely built between you and Mathew. You even unknowingly shut Tito out in the process as well. It was like you were grieving. Like, it was a whole different kind of heartbreak he knew he can’t get you out of that easily.

You tried making it up for your best friend of course. Knowing that you haven’t been yourself since that day. You thought about the possibility of having taken the whole thing too seriously that you might’ve overreacted a bit. Nonetheless, no matter how much you try to push it in the back of your head, Mathew’s mere presence began irking you in ways it never did back when you used to enjoy the bickering you exchange with him, especially in bed.

“Thanks for dinner, belle.” Anthony politely says, earning a smile from you so effortlessly upon hearing the pet name he uses for you. Something Mat only shrugged off, trying to piece out the same gratitude, “Thanks, y/n.” he genuinely adds. But as expected, he had nothing.

You pick up all the empty plates, including Mathew’s, who was sitting in front of you while Anthony sat at the end of the table. Tito hurriedly wipes his mouth with a napkin and takes the plate from you, “Let me help you with that.” he says with the same kind eyes that has never failed to win you over.

“Yeah. Okay, sure.” you shortly answer, leading the way towards the kitchen, leaving one Mathew Barzal feeling small and alone at the dining table.

𖥸

If there was one thing you’d gladly acknowledge after all the years of watching people kiss Mathew’s ass was that he was is really good. He’s fast and he can do unimaginable damage on the ice. There’s no denying that he deserves to be the face of the New York Islanders. But we know you don’t care about any of that. The only thing you care about was how unbelievably good he is at everything he does that not even you or your pink rubber toy could suffice.

He was just that damn good.

As your eyes shut whilst you mount your pleasures on your own, biting your lips to choke in your own moans, Mathew handling you was what circled your mind since you started defiling yourself in the bathroom. You let your arousal be washed away by the warm water trickling down your skin, envisioning Mat’s rough hands grazing your body, touching your core like his hands were meant to do nothing else but that.

It was wrong and pathetic, but you couldn’t think about anything else. You and Mathew have been avoiding each other for days. The dynamic went so much worse than when you weren’t sleeping together and you know that Tito was bound to notice it soon. Thankfully, the boys were on another roadie for a week so you had quite some time to think things through about your current sitch with Mathew. You didn’t like any of it because it felt like you gave a fuck (which obviously, you didn’t). You just feel obligated to sort things out with the biggest ass that ever lived because you didn’t want to involve Tito into the mess you’ve wrongfully made yourself.

You hop off the shower feeling unsatisfied. You haven’t gotten laid since the last time you were with Mat. Which is sad, not just for you but also for her. You’d think considering the boys aren’t around you’d bring someone home, maybe even one or two. But just thinking about going on bars alone so you could find a potential bone-mate is already far too tedious and you weren’t in the right state to do so. You had so much going on at work, anyway. And you can always use a wand to scratch an itch. Neither would satisfy you more than how someone-who-will-not-be-named could, but you might as well be pathetic without having to hook up with some random dude whose name you’ll eventually forget in the morning.

You opted to wear an old pull-over you borrowed (took) from Tito years and years ago and partnered it with some leggings so you’d be comfortable enough for the rest of the night. You have nothing else to do and you are already fed up with your workload that watching a crappy movie off of Netflix doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

With a giant bowl of popcorn and two bottles of beer in your hands, you march your way into the living room, ready to spend the night binge watching romantic comedies, crying and laughing in between. Or maybe just fall asleep on the couch while your comfort TV series is on.

The boys won three games out of the four that they had during the trip and you only saw the ones they won so you were thankful that you didn’t have to sit at home alone watching their faces fall after that OT lost against the Flyers. Anthony phoned you that night and you can just feel the relief in his voice that you didn’t have the time to see it. They weren’t playing like they should. Thankfully, they were able to bounce back.

Your eyes were beginning to grow tired halfway into the movie when you hear the front door open, followed by luggages dragged into the house tirelessly.

“Y/N?” Anthony calls out.

You hit the movie on pause and hurriedly make your way towards the hallway. “You’re home already?”

They were already taking their coats off when you met them halfway, Tito was putting his away while Mat had just taken off his toque and was running his hands through his hair, unconsciously meeting your eyes upon hearing your voice.

You quickly break it off when you give Tito a quick embrace and plant a small kiss on his cheeks, “I texted you.” he says, eyebrows quirked, surprised that you didn’t know.

In an effort to avert any more of his questions you immediately point towards the movie you had on, “Haven’t checked my messages, sorry.”

“So, you guys ate dinner?” you ask, passing Mat a quick look. One that came as a surprise because he wasn’t even hoping to hear a word from you given the way you two left things a little too on the edge, screwing with the whole thing even more.

Mat avoids your irises and faintly nods.

“Big win tonight huh? Told you, you can do it.” you say with a beaming smile, nudging Tito with your hips as you get back to watching your film. “You gotta do what you gotta do, babe.” he winks, lugging his stuff around towards his bedroom.

“Barz, don’t stay up, Trotz needs us first thing in the morning.” he looks back, reminding Mat who was already standing in front of his door, “Yeah. Sure.” he replies shortly with a tired voice.

You and Anthony bid your own goodnights whilst Mat mutters a quiet “Night.” when you nodded his way, clearly not enjoying any of the first awkward encounters he’s yet to have with you. Seven days is quite a reasonable time for your anger to dissipate, a short yet seemingly long period of time that’s just enough to kill off whatever guilt Mat had initially felt before you parted ways.

𖥸

“Alright, I’m off.” Tito casually declares, putting on his watch. “There’s food in the fridge, and tell Mat to go easy on my beers.” he gives you a knowing look as he bends down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

Tito had been seeing some mystery girl for quite some time now. He hasn’t told you anything spicy in particular but by the looks of it, you could already tell that she has him towed.

“Good luck, loverboy.” you say, swatting his hand away and pushing him out to the door. The two of you cringe at what you said, sharing one last laugh before you watch him disappear out into the hallway.

The apartment was cramped the whole day because Anthony and Mat had the day off. Tito had plans for the night, obviously. As per you, you had plans lounging in the living room, switching through channels in the hopes of stumbling on a show that isn’t half as bad than the rest.

Thankfully, a Sandra Bullock film was on HBO.

The Proposal, to be exact.

You decide to dive in the film with a cold bottle of beer on your hand. There was no way you’d be washing down the effects of a naked Ryan Reynolds with a glass of water. You haven’t gone mad.

The film was already at the part where Sandra was proposing to Ryan when you hear Mathew’s door open. You haven’t talked since the night they came back home other than the small nods you exchange upon passing by each other. All of which are mind-numbing and impossible to swallow. The awkwardness has not dissipated completely unlike what you presumed. You were just grateful Tito was always around that you didn’t need to be alone together.

Alarmed by another impending awkward encounter, you clear your throat and turn up the volume a little to remain focused on the film, investing your sole attention to it even if you have seen the movie countless times.

Mathew, in his sweats and a gray shirt on, carefully makes his way out the hallway and into the common area after snatching a glass of water from the kitchen. You see him move further into the room but you make sure that he knows you weren’t paying attention. You take that he must’ve been thirsty and needed a drink but you don’t see him move further in the corner of your eye like he was making his way back in his room. It almost seemed like he was actually waiting for you to look his way.

Hesitantly, you follow your gut feel and see him standing a few feet away from you. “Yes?” you ask when you catch him staring.

Mat blinks a few times, “Hi.” he takes a deep breath, trying to shake off the awkwardness circling the two of you.

When the only thing he gets from you is a tight lipped smile, he shakes his head and proceeds to walk where you were seated.

“Mind if I join you?” he asks, his voice deep and clear enough to send your mind elsewhere.

Regardless, you contain yourself and return a polite smile, “No. Not at all.”

“So, what are we watching?” he sits once you gestured onto the other end of the couch.

“The Proposal.” you answer before throwing a question yourself, “Aren’t you supposed to be resting now?” you shake your head, absentmindedly chuckling. Not intending to make him feel that you’ve forgotten about what he’d done weeks ago.

“I couldn’t sleep.” he props his back and lets himself sink in the cloud couch, his legs spread wide eating up most of the space left for the two of you to share. “Oh. I only like him when he’s Deadpool” he points out, cringing at how you were watching another one of your romantic comedy films.

You roll your eyes, admiring how he’s trying to break the tension between the two of you despite his unsolicited sentiments, “I like it when we were on not-speaking terms.”

Mat mocks you for a while but decides to watch the movie so you let him be and get back to the film, letting a giggle slip every now and then. Something you thought Mat wouldn’t notice.

Watching the remainder of the film went with ease. ‘Course, Mat would steal a few glances here and there (ones he thought had gone unnoticed), but overall the quietude between the two of you was bearable. Almost like it was just two buddies hanging out.

Although, not long after, your eyes were torn away from the huge flat screen when Mat spoke, “By the way,” he looks at you and calls your attention.

Puzzled, you watch him take something from his pocket, “Here.”

Once you see what he has in his hands your heart froze. Mat carefully hands you the cloth with an apologetic smile; his eyes soft with a hint of hope as he watches your reaction.

“What– How?” you ask in bewilderment, failing to comprehend how he was able to fix the handkerchief. It looked the same as before. All of its details were in place, it was good as new. You were holding Nana’s handkerchief.

Mathew didn’t bother to dance around and just offered you a quiet chuckle, evidently enjoying the wide smile painted on your lips. “Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” he apologizes, shielding you from all the strings he had to pull just to get that cloth fixed up.

You hold the smooth and delicate piece in your hands as you look at Mat, letting your feelings get a better hold of you, “Thank you.” you say, unknowingly reaching out, your arms wrapped around his neck as you give him a quick peck on the cheek.

Mathew’s hand instinctively finds your back to support you, startling himself in the process. Nonetheless, the thought was easily shrugged off by how close your faces were, your smiles fading once you meet each other’s gaze. You feel the same rush you felt the night you and Mat got involved for the first time. Your hand was placed rather endearingly on his cheek, your faces, just like all the other times, unreasonably close to each other. Mat then clears his throat and only looks you in the eye.

Afraid that the innocent hug would lead to something more, perhaps another mistake to be jotted down on the board, you breathe a laugh and break away, “Uh, thanks again. It really means a lot.”

Mat must’ve sensed that you were being cautious so he puts his guards up and returns a chuckle, “So… we good?” he asks, reaching out a hand your way.

Your fingers slide into his, gliding its way perfectly, your hands fitted well with his despite the obvious difference in proportion. His grip tightens in the most comfortable way possible.

A smile breaks off his lips once he hears you answer, “We’re good.”

“I should probably get some sleep.” Mat tells you the moment you pull your hand away.

“Are you gonna be okay here?” he adds.

You looked at him, not wanting him to be obligated to keep you company, “Oh, yeah. I’m a big girl.” you say, making Mathew grin, shaking his head.

“Alright. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

Not picking up on whatever sloppy insinuation Mat has thrown out carelessly into thin air, he hears a simple “Mkay.”

Thus far, letting him know that his subtle invitation was far from being RSVP’d.

𖥸

“You’ll be in your room?” Mat scoffs, staring at the ceiling while he lays on his bed, “The fuck was that, Mat?” he scolds himself for always coming up with the worst things to say.

Mathew would be lying if he’d say he hasn’t thought about you (or doing you) for the past week of not being around home. But he definitely wouldn’t deny that the roadie kind of made things easier for him because then he didn’t have to stomach seeing you walk around the flat looking like the hot piece of ass that you were in his eyes.

Mat knows he needs to pull his shit together. He wasn’t some 13 year-old boy raging with hormones. He needs to control himself around you and he could only do that once he learns how to push this whole thing between the two of you behind him.

What happened with you and Mathew shouldn’t have happened at all. It was just a moment of weakness, and he hated that he’d let his dick (and apparently, him being one) ruin the relationship he once had with you.

Before that night, seeing you do yoga and work out on the terrace was just seeing you drenched in sweat, and in your work out clothes looking icky and constipated. Something he’ll later on tease you about and he’ll end up catching the water bottle you throw in his face. But now, after all that fucking, seeing you sweaty and all worked out in the same yoga pants is just like walking into a porn commercial. Like the ones they show before the actual porn. In fact, he doesn’t even have to watch any of it. Tents and Boners were pretty much sponsored by you from then on. It’s sick, and he knows it.

However, the tension he feels with you is palpable that he’s even certain that you feel it too. But how can he be wrong? He sees how your eyes blink a few times when he’s fresh out the shower, he sees you follow his trance when you thought he wasn’t paying attention, and you never fail to slide him shadowed hints with every touch you “accidentally” pass at him. The kind that’s short enough to remain innocent but not so much as to keep him at bay. Mat hated everything about it. He hated that he wanted you– and he hated that he thinks he might be right about you wanting him too.

All that self-loathing aside, did he regret it?

That was one of the things he feels bad about. Because as much as he wants to lie and push it aside, he didn’t regret any of it. He didn’t like you that way and just thought about you sexually but he just wishes that you could push past this and just be friends. He was still sexually attracted to you, yes. But he knows he’d eventually get over it and be back on his game. That is if he can ever find someone who’d be as good as how you were the last three times you’ve let him be with you because it would really help him a lot if he could stop picturing your mouth getting stretched by his cock every time he hops into the shower.

Mat was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a knock on his door. The shy banging sound made his heart beat rapidly in an instant, knowing full well that the two of you were alone in the house and that Tito was, in no way, going to be home for another hour or two.

A faint knock follows the first one before he gets to the door.

“Hi.” you greet him, a moment unfolding like it was déjà-vu.

“Hi.”

“Did I wake you?” you sheepishly ask, your hands balled into fists before eventually settling down to hug your own build, unsure of where to put your hands exactly.

Mat quickly shakes his head, “No. I couldn’t sleep myself.”

You offer him a smile, acknowledging how he’s been nothing but good to you ever since they got home. Of course you wanted to get your hands on him being that you were completely dry and horny ever since you’ve ignored him completely, but you haven’t gone mad and you weren’t a complete neanderthal. You can keep your hands to yourself and act like a decent human being.

“I’m sorry for making things weird between us.” you say, your eyes heavy with guilt. “But I’m only apologizing for being so unreasonable for the last couple of weeks.” you reiterated.

To which he only answers with, “You shouldn’t be. You have every right to be unreasonable– and I know that I’ve been a giant prick that day. It’s what I deserve.” he bites his lower lip, scratching his brow as he continues, “That’s why if there’s someone who owes someone an apology, it should be me. What I did was pretty crappy, so… I’m sorry.”

Like all the other times, Mathew towers over you wearing the same confidence he does when you’re around. Your bodies were reasonably apart from each other but close enough to mean something else if someone had walked by. Mathew was still in his room while you were out in the hallway, separated by the thin line made by the door frame.

You feel Mat’s steady breathing and everything went still. He looks down at you, pretty eyes drowning yours. His messed up bed hair ridiculously makes up for how dressed down he was. No, actually, he looks fine even when he is. And all of that sight instantly makes your throat dry as you feel something curl in your belly, enough to make your hands sweaty as the thought of tasting his lips again cruised your mind entirely.

Mathew was no stranger to the said feeling either. He watched you punish him more at how plump and inviting your lips were. Or how your hand brushed on your clothes as you remain uncomposed under his gaze.

Mat was becoming accustomed to how the two of you meet. Same time, same place, only this time, a different hallway. He steps further and crosses the line that divides the two of you, making you take a deep breath as his scent floors every nerve in your body. Waking what has been awake ever since that moment you shared back in the living room even more.

“Yeah, okay.” you gather yourself, “I– I should probably head back.”

Just by how his shoulders dropped, you knew you had said the wrong thing. And you hated that you did. Mat clears his voice and swallows, breaking off his gaze, “You probably should.”

“Good night, Mat.” you smile, trying to regain yourself.

“Good night.” he replies as he watches you turn your back before finally closing the door behind him.

Frustrated for he was already starting to feel things more than just being “sorry”, Mat leans against the door and runs a hand through his hair. He takes a deep breath and tries to get you out of his head.

He was about to walk away from the door and sleep off his frustration when he hears your faint footsteps on the other side of the door. He rests his head back on the wooden surface and sighs, “You’re still out there, aren’t you?”

There was a total silence for a moment, devoid of the knowledge of how you had your fist, ready to knock yet again, suspended in mid-air.

Mathew hears you deny sheepishly, “No.”

You hear him let out a small laugh, knowing that he was trying to contain himself.

The door sprung open again, and for a second you thought how what you’re about to walk into will start another mess for you and Mathew. But how could you possibly think about it that way when you have nothing else but this man standing at the other end?

A friend that took no seconds to waste as he finally lets his thirst and perhaps foolishness, get the better hold of him once he cages your heated face in his hands, crashing into your lips as fast as he’d taken you to his end of that thin gray line that has once irkingly parted him from you. A gray line you’re both willing to cross if that meant sharing another night in between halls and thin walls.

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #mat barzal smut #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #nhl smut #hockey smut #letters to barzy #barzzal imagines

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nevermindirah · 4 years ago

Text

I've been drafting and redrafting this meta post for weeks now. It's about to be 5781 and my country that was founded on settler colonial genocide and slavery and a deeply flawed but fierce attachment to democracy might go full dictatorship in about 6 weeks and it's time for me to post this thing.

All our immortals are warriors, all have been traumatized by war. But only three of them died their first deaths as soldiers in imperial armies. This fandom has already produced gallons of meta on Nicky dealing with his shit, because Joe would not fuck with an unapologetic Crusader. But there's very rich stuff in Booker and Nile's experiences and the parallels and distinctions between them.

Nile was 11 when her dad was killed in action - that was 2005, meaning she and her dad both died in the same war that George W Bush started in very tenuous response to 9/11. Sure, Nile's dad could have died in either Iraq or Afghanistan, or in a training accident or in an off-the-books mission we won't know about for a hundred more years, but he died in the War on Terror all the same. I had to look it up to be sure because Obama "drew down" the Afghanistan war in his second term, but nope, we're still in this fucking thing that never should've happened in the first place. The US war in Afghanistan just turned 19 years old. A lot of real-life Americans have experiences like the Freemans, parents and children both dying in the same war we shouldn't be in.

I know a lot of people like Nile who join the US military not just because it's the only realistic way for them to pay for college or afford decent healthcare, but also because they have a family history of military service that's a genuine source of pride. Military service has been a way for Americans of color to be accepted by white Americans as "true Americans" - from today's Dreamers who Obama promised would earn protection from deportation by enlisting, to Filipino veterans of WW2 earning US citizenship that Congress then denied them for several decades, to slaves "earning" their freedom through service in the Union Army and in the Continental Army before it. As if freedom is a thing one should have to earn. Lots of Black Americans have the last name Freeman for lots of different escaping-slavery reasons, but it's possible that this specific reason is how Nile got her last name.

Dying in a war you know your country chose to instigate unnecessarily and that maybe you believe it shouldn't be waging is a very particular kind of trauma. It is a much deeper trauma when your military service, and your father's, and maybe generations of your ancestors', is a source of pride and access to resources for you but your sacrifice is nearly meaningless to the white supremacist system that deploys you. That kind of cognitive dissonance encourages a person to ignore their own feelings just so they can function. How do you wake up in the morning, how do you risk your life every day, how do you *kill other people* in a war that shouldn't be happening and that you shouldn't have to serve in just so that your country sees you as human?

We see Nile do her best to be a kind and well-mannered invader. Depending on your experience with US imperialism, Nile giving candy to kids and reminding her squad to be respectful is either heartwarming or very disturbing propaganda. We also see Nile clutching her cross necklace and praying. From the second Christianity arrived on this land it's been a tool of white supremacist assimilation and control, but like military service, it's a fucked-up but genuine source of pride and access to resources for many Americans whose pre-Columbian ancestors were not Christian, and it's a powerful source of comfort and resilience. This Jew who's had a lot of Spanish Inquisition nightmares would like to say for the record that it's not Jesus's fault that his big name fans are such shitty people.

Nile is a good person trying to do her best in a fucked-up world. "Her best" just radically changed. Her access to information on just how fucked up the world is has also just radically changed, because everything's so fucked up a person needs a lot of time to learn about it all and not only does she have centuries but she won't have to spend that time worrying about rent and healthcare and taxes, and because she now has Joe and Nicky and Andy's stories, and because she now has Copley's inside scoop on just what the fuck the CIA has been up to. Like, I want a fic where Copley tells Nile what was really behind the brass's decisions that led to her experiences on the ground in Afghanistan, that led to her father's death, but also I Do Not Want That.

Nile was 19 when Alicia Garza posted on Facebook that Black Lives Matter. She grew up in Chicago well before white people on Twitter were saying maybe police violence against Black people is a problem. She knows this is a deeply fucked up country, and she put on her Marine uniform and deployed with her team of mostly fellow women of color, and maybe she and Dizzy and Jay marched in the streets between deployments, maybe they texted each other when a white manarchist at a protest sneered at one of them for being a Marine. Nile's been busy surviving, and she knows some shit and she's seen some shit but she hasn't had much time to think about what it all means. Now she's got time. And Joe, Nicky, and Andy are willing to listen. (Is Copley willing to listen? I could see that going either way.)

Booker might also be willing to listen. The brilliant idea of cleaning up the rat Frenchman so that Nile can have millennia of emotional support and orgasms sent me down a Wikipedia rabbit hole, and holy shit do Booker and Nile have a lot of shared life experience as pawns of imperial wars. Obviously Booker is white and a man and that makes a very big difference. (Though G-d help me, Booker could be Jewish and France was knocking its Jews around like ping-pong balls in the 18th-19th centuries. Jewish Booker wouldn't make him any less white but it does add a shit ton of depth of common experience: military service as a way for your country to see you as a full member of society who matters, because who you are means that's not guaranteed.)

Booker was hanged for desertion from the army Napoleon sent to invade Russia as part of his quest to control all of Europe. We learn in the comics / this YouTube video that Booker was on his way to prison for forgery when he was offered military service instead of jail time. While we don't know how he felt about the choice beyond that he did choose soldier over inmate, it's unlikely he thought invading Russia was a great idea, given he tried to desert because Napoleon like a true imperialist dumbass didn't plan for how he was going to feed his army or keep them from freezing to death in fucking Russian winter.

I find it very interesting that the French Empire was at its largest right before invading Russia and fell apart completely within a few years. My country has been falling the fuck apart for a while now - see aforementioned War on Terror, growing extremes of economic stratification in the richest country in the world, abject refusal to meaningfully deal with climate change that US-based corporations hold the lion's share of blame for - but between Trump's abject refusal to meaningfully deal with the coronavirus and strong likelihood that he'll refuse to leave office even if a certain pathetic moderate I will hold my nose and vote for does manage to earn a majority of votes, ~y~i~k~e~s.

Our only immortals who have never known a world before modernity and nationalism happen to have been born of wars that were the beginning of the end for the imperialist democracies that raised them, and I think in the centuries to come that's going to give them some very interesting shit to talk about.

Nile's a Young Millennial, a digital native born in the United States after the collapse of the USSR left her country as the world's only superpower. She's used to a pace of technological change that human brains are not evolved to handle.

Napoleon trying to make all of Europe into the French Empire was a leading cause of the growth of European nationalism and the establishment of liberal democracies both in Europe and in many places that Europeans had colonized. Booker's first war produced the only geopolitical world order Nile has ever known and I just have so many feelings ok. Nile the art history nerd is probably not aware of this, and why would she be? This humble meta author is, like Nile, a product of US public schools, and all they taught me about world history was Ancient Greece/Rome/Egypt/Mesopotamia and then World War 2. Being raised in The World's Only Superpower is WEIRD.

Nile the Young Millennial is used to the devastating volume of bad news the internet makes possible. But she has absolutely no concept of a world where the United States of America is not The World's Only Superpower. In order to get up in the morning and put on her gear and point guns at civilians in Afghanistan, she can only let herself think so much about whether that American exceptionalism thing is a good idea.

She's about to spend many, many years where the only people who she can truly trust are people who are older than not only her country but the IDEA of countries.

She's got time, and she's got a lot of new information at her disposal. But there comes a point where my obsession with her friendship and eventual very hot sex life with Booker just isn't about sex at all. Nile needs someone to talk to about the United States who Gets It. Booker the rat Frenchman coerced into Napoleon's army, and Copley the Black dual citizen of the US and UK who's retired from a CIA career that he half understands as deeply problematic but half still believes in hence his mind-bogglingly stupid partnership with Merrick, are the only people on the planet Nile can talk to honestly about, and really be understood in, all the thoughts and feelings and fears and hopes of her experience as a US Marine.

And one more thing before I go get ready for Rosh Hashanah: Orientalism was a defining element of the Crusades and that legacy is painfully clear in current US-led Western military activity in Afghanistan, Syria, Israel/Palestine, you name it. Turns out memoirs by French veterans of the Napoleonic Wars are full of Orientalist language about Russia as well. I am maybe/definitely writing a fic where Booker spends his exile reading critical race theory and decolonial feminism and trauma studies monographs because he can't be honest with a therapist but maybe he can heal this way and become the team therapist his own damn self. I just really need him to read Edward Said and Gloria Anzaldúa and then go down on Nile, ok?

#nile freeman #tog meta #book of nile #sebastien le livre #the old guard #mine #us imperialism #european imperialism #jewish things #antiblackness #police violence #orientalism

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satuguro · 4 years ago

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and then there were three | pt. 2

IN WHICH: feelings between you, zuko, and sokka begin to grow as you spend time together.

PAIRING: zuko x sokka x fem! reader

INSPIRED BY: she — harry styles, someone new — hozier

WARNING: underaged drinking, a mess of feelings, gets heated at the end

pt. 1, pt. 2

NOTES: i apologize for how rushed this is. enjoy! <3

you had all gone your separate ways after the war ended.

there wasn’t much room for rest— they were worldwide heroes, known and loved by most of the population. with toph spreading her knowledge of metalbending, katara and sokka tending to the southern water tribe, aang doing avatar duties and zuko trying to make his nation anew, you all began to see each other less and less.

you had become a well respected general for the fire nation, and have been training future fire nation soldiers to be nothing like the past. you were working alongside zuko to stop the superiority complex that the fire nation had built over 100 years.

you missed them so. you missed toph and her blunt comments, katara and her motherly instincts, aang and his never-ending cheerfulness, appa and his nightly flights, and even momo and his love of peaches. most of all, you missed sokka. sokka, with his words that could easily annoy you and that stupid, smug smirk that made you scoff and roll your eyes. sokka, who hid his worry for you behind sarcastic remarks and faux hatred.

sokka, who you had taking just a small liking to.

regretfully, you had told zuko about your (at the time, you believed it to be old) feelings for sokka during one of your break nights after one too many bottles of alcohol. he said nothing that night— not that the news mattered much to him anyway. zuko felt something stir in him that he knew all too well; jealousy. but for who? he didn’t know.

when did zuko ever know about his own feelings? feelings were complicated in general— especially his own. zuko had no time to feel such romantic emotions for anyone (it was part of the reason why he and mai never truly worked out). but when he saw you and sokka... zuko just felt something.

unknown to him, you were having your own doubts yourself. your time with the new firelord had made you see a whole new side to him that not many others have seen. he spoke to you about his problems and you did the same to him. you leaned on each other when your jobs became too hard, and while he had changed since you were younger, he changed for the better. zuko was working so hard to push his nation forward, and you admired that.

you were busy and so stressed to the point that you forgot that you were young. you had so much ahead of you, yet you held such a big responsibility that you forgot that your own birthday was coming up.

but zuko remembered. he had planned something for weeks without telling you, which was a hard feat in itself. you were his closest confidant, and being a general, you had to confide with him multiple times in the day.

cool air blew in through your window, making you shift in your bed as you tugged your blanket tighter around you. the sound of your door opening made you twist in your bed, the sound of soft footsteps making you crack an eye open. with one swift motion, your balcony doors were thrown open, allowing the sunshine hit you.

you let out a frustrated groan, grabbing one of your pillows and covering your face with it as you felt someone jump onto your bed.

“wake up!” zuko’s voice, oddly giddy despite the early morning, made you let out a longer, louder groan in response. the firelord let out a puff of fire out of annoyance. how could you shove off your 18th birthday so easily? did you just expect zuko, someone who had grown up with you and trained with you, to just forget and allow you to celebrate in peace?

no, zuko cared about you too much to allow that to happen.

“fire boy,” you hissed out, eyes opening ever so slowly as you stared at him. zuko was hovering over you, an excited smile on his face when he saw your eyes meet his. “i’m giving you five seconds to run,” you sneered, making his expression falter for a second.

“but you’ll get up, right?”

you rolled your eyes. “five...”

with that, zuko hurried out of your room, calling over his shoulder, “wear comfortable clothes!”

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

zuko’s hands covered your eyes as he led you around the palace. you were both dressed in your comfortable clothes,which was odd for your statuses. normally you both had to lug around the extravagant clothing that came with your jobs.

“you’re gonna kill me, aren’t you,” you deadpanned, feeling his chest rumble as he chuckled. your face heated up at the feeling of him being so close to you; zuko stood behind you as he guided you blindly through swift turns. occasionally, he’d bump into someone and apologize hastily.

“this would be too easy,” you heard zuko hum in response, “i like a challenge, you know.” under his hands, you rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to hit the firelord.

“then why’re you doing this?” zuko made you turn a corner much too quickly, almost making you trip as he made you walk faster. spirits, what was he in such a hurry for?

zuko’s walking came to an abrupt stop, and you could hear shuffling occur around you. “close your eyes,” he ordered, making you shut your eyes tight. slowly, zuko’s hands fell from your face.

“you thought i’d forget your birthday, huh?” zuko asked teasingly, making you grimace. of course he remembered.

“i thought you forgot,” you said, an apologetic smile appearing on your face.

he scoffed in disbelief. “i’m not that mean, y/n,” zuko grumbled, clearing his throat once more.

in front of you, you could hear a quiet ‘well—‘ that was quickly choked down. unknown to you, zuko glared at the ‘present’ in front of him in a silent attempt to make them stop.

“anyway...” zuko’s hands went to your shoulders, “the other presents are kinda busy so they’re coming soon but here’s your first present who’s staying for two weeks!” he rambled, finishing his quick words with a sudden push that sent you falling towards your ‘present.’

your face hit a hard chest as arms suddenly wrapped around you. you opened your eyes and looked up, your gaze meeting familiar ocean blues. “sokka?” you breathed, mouth gaping at the sight of him.

“no, katara,” sokka managed past the stupid smirk that you (loved) hated to see, but you didn’t care. he was here.

his face fell when you suddenly jumped and hugged him fully, your arms wrapping around his neck while his naturally fell at your waist. at first, he froze, heart racing and mind blanking at your hug before he returned the hug. “happy birthday, dumbass,” he mumbled, as he buried his head in your shoulder, hearing you laugh cheerfully before you pulled away.

zuko watched you both interact, and spirits, if he wasn’t confused before, he was certainly confused now. he felt the familiar feeling of jealousy, but once again, he wasn’t sure why he was jealous of. did he want to be you hugging sokka or did he want to be sokka hugging you? or maybe he wanted to be hugging you both.

was there an off switch to this whole ‘feelings’ thing?

“i can’t believe it!” you beamed at them both, your eyes darting between them. you looked at zuko, who stood awkwardly with his brows scrunched together as if he was in thought.

zuko nearly fell backwards at the hug that you gave him, his arms stiffly at his sides as your arms wrapped around his torso. desperately, he looked at sokka for help.

the water tribesman only chuckled at the firelord’s awkwardness, and he made the weird motion of a hug. sokka saw the burning red that appeared on zuko’s face as his arms slowly hugged you back. a proud grin lit up zuko’s face as he looked at sokka once more.

sokka’s heart beat hard in his chest. he was not going to last these two weeks.

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

“she’s really happy.”

“you think?” sokka asked, watching as you helped the cooks with their food. they were in the kitchens, and zuko had told them to cook your favorite breakfast. but you being you, you insisted that you’d help them prepare.

so here they were, watching as you practically jumped around the kitchen. it was as if the mood of the kitchen brightened with you around.

“i know,” zuko laughed softly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“you know,” sokka began, hooking his arm over zuko’s shoulders. he was oblivious to the blush that grew on the firebender’s face as he continued to talk. “you’re doing great. you look good! and like... you’re laughing. you never laugh.”

zuko looked at sokka, eyebrow raising at his words. “is that a good thing?”

sokka nodded his head rapidly, sending him a grin. the firelord was looking at him with big amber eyes, and he was ready to melt at the sight. “of course! and you, uh,” he swallowed, “laughing suits you. looks good— makes you look... good,” he stammered, and zuko suddenly avoided his gaze, his face growing redder.

“right,” zuko replied, his tone more stern that he wanted it to be, “and you’re... also good.”

was that a compliment? it didn’t matter; the mere comment brought butterflies to sokka’s stomach. he could hold back the grin he had as he gently leaned on zuko, which made the boy stiffen up and slowly relax at the action.

though he’d never say it out loud, it felt nice having sokka around again.

the night quickly fell over the fire nation, but zuko’s plans of celebration didn’t falter. he and sokka had spoiled you way too much today — you even protested a few times, but they were both too stubborn. they wanted you to have a good time. besides, you all needed the break from your duties.

lanterns were lit up and strung everywhere, illuminating the dark alleyways full of street vendors and performers. you walked alongside zuko and sokka, the three of you speaking animatedly amongst each other. children ran by your legs, cheering happily as they waved around sparklers and chased each other in their own game.

you swore your face hurt from all the smiling you were doing. everything was so beautiful, and you broke up the conversation to grab both of their hands and intertwine their fingers with yours. you began to run quickly, your laughter melodic as you wove the boys through the crowd.

your run came to a slow stop once you all reached town square, your chests heaving as you caught your breath. street vendors were selling food and items on the side while a huge crowd stood around some firebender performers.

“oh my spirits— there’s cactus juice!” sokka let go of your hand to try and run towards the stand, only for zuko to grab his hand again to stop him from leaving.

“nope. no one’s drinking cactus juice.”

“i don’t want you drooling all over the palace. remember last time?” you asked with a smirk, making sokka pause for a second before shaking his head.

“we can get some sake and drink at the palace,” zuko suggested, making you nod excitedly. it had been a while since you experience drunk zuko and drunk sokka.

sokka’s eyes lit up again, his body practically buzzing with excitement as he dragged you and zuko along behind him. “you guys— they have peaches here!”

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

it was nearly midnight by the time you all went back to the palace. sokka had dragged you and zuko everywhere and had bought practically everything in his path by the time he was done.

the three of you situated yourselves in the courtyard, laying on the blanket zuko had oh-so-kindly laid out. the stars hung over you all, and alcohol surged through your veins as you giggled at zuko, who was laughing at nothing. his cheeks were flushed red from the sake, and he was telling a silly tale while his hands waved wildly.

oddly enough, sokka was quiet as he sat up and stared at you both. your hair was a mess on the red blanket under you, and little wisps of hair covered your face as you continued to laugh. zuko’s hair was even messier than your’s — gone was the composed and cold front he put up. he was relaxed and smiling like an idiot as you shoved him playfully, his body swaying lightly.

“so, sokka,” you said suddenly, snapping him out of his daze. “do you have a person back home? any hot — or cold — people making you happy?” your tone was teasing and your words were slurred.

“what?” sokka’s voice became two octaves higher. you were both staring at him expectingly, intently waiting for his response. he swallowed — was it getting hot? “no one! no time, y’know?” he set his sights on zuko, who had been staring at sokka with a look he wasn’t familiar with. “how about you, hotshot? anyone?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.

“nope!” zuko lied as he shook his head, his hair moving along with him. the alcohol in his body made him want to blurt out how confusing his feelings had been lately, how he wasn’t sure who he liked.

“it’s so funny,” you laughed, poking the two boys beside you. “i used to like you both! like sokka made my heart beat really fast and zuko made those stupid moths — or is it butterflies? — fly in my stomach. it’s hilarious how we’re here! together! and i like — i mean, liked — you both!” you rambled, “isn’t it hilarious? so funny!” you began to laugh, the drinks in your body making you ignore the consequences that were certainly going to occur after this.

zuko began to laugh along with you, his body falling next to yours. sokka only gaped at you, mouth slightly open.

you liked them? both of them?

“i had the same problem!” sokka blurted, his confidence shooting up and all his worries being thrown out the window. your laughter came to a stop. “like at first you were y/n, but then you became y/n. and then you!” he pointed an accusatory finger at zuko. “you just became... zuko. you know?”

zuko looked at him blankly, shaking his head. “no, i don’t know,” he stated, brows furrowed as his drunken mind tried to piece the pieces together. “feelings are confusing. i thought i liked one of you but maybe— wait!” he suddenly shot up from the blanket, moving his legs to face sokka. “let me kiss you.”

“what? why?” sokka’s voice cracked upon his question. he was panicking; what if his breath smelled bad? what if he was a bad drunk kisser? what if zuko was a bad kisser— that wouldn’t matter, sokka would still like him.

zuko surged forward, lips meeting sokka’s messily. sokka’s eyes fluttered shut as he reciprocated the kiss. it was a mess of bumping noses and teeth clashing, but it was perfect. zuko pulled away from him, lips red before he looked down at you.

you were watching them both with wide innocent eyes.

“yup, definitely something there,” zuko said with an affirmative nod. is he was sober, he knew he would be freaking out. his eyes trailed down to your lips, silently asking you the question. you only nodded slowly before he leaned down and slotted his lips over your’s.

it wasn’t as messy as the kiss he and sokka shared, but you didn’t care. zuko’s fingers gently tilted your chin up as he kissed you sweetly. you could taste the sake he had drank on his lips.

he pulled away, lips swollen red as he looked at you both. zuko finally figured it out; he liked both of you. it was a moment of clarity that made him happier than he’d been in a while.

all your cheeks were burning and the tension heavy in the air as you slowly sat up. you were all too drunk to realize how important this news was; you all liked each other. there was a second of pause before you grabbed sokka’s head and brought his lips to your’s.

sokka kissed you hard, the years of pining evident in his movements as your lips moved against his. you could feel zuko lean forward, pressing kisses down your neck that send chills up and down your spine.

sokka tasted like sake with hints of peaches. he kissed you differently than zuko; he kissed with fervor and was driven by passion. his hand held the side of your face, his thumb gently stroking your skin. zuko’s lips were hot against your skin as he kissed you, and you let out soft moans into sokka’s mouth as you felt the firelord bite down gently.

you disconnected yourself from sokka’s lips, breathing labored. sokka pulled zuko towards him, kissing him almost as passionately as he kissed you.

“bedroom,” you mumbled, and the boys nodded as you stood up, their legs stumbling as they followed you.

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

NOTES: again, i’m sorry for how rushed this part is. thank you for reading nontheless!

buy me a coffee here! any likes, reblogs, or donations are appreciated :)

TAGLIST: @beifongsss @the-firebender-girl @astroninaaa @emberislandplayers @aangsupremacy @gogo-is-cooler-than-you @ibelongtotoomanyfandoms @riespage

#sokka x reader #sokka smut #sokka imagines #sokka #sokka imagine #zuko smut #zuko imagines #zuko #zuko imagine #zuko x reader #atla #atla imagine

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lucas-koh · 4 years ago

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Stitches - Bryce Lahela x MC XI

Parts 1-10 linked in bio!

Only somewhat canon compliant.

Song: sex (catching feelings) - EDEN

Rating: M; sexual content, swearing, mentions of death, drinking

Word Count: 4261

Taglist: @lahellacute @lahamseiroshoe @anotherbeingsworld @fuseboxmusebox @choicesficwriterscreations @bubblelaureno @bratzlahela @eleanorbloom @bryceslahela @thegreentwin @kelseaaa || please let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from this list

Chapter Eleven: Tequila Flavoured Sutures

And ring in the New Year they did, for hours and hours and hours. There was little concern about the noise they were making due to the fact that everyone was passed out from alcohol by that point.

—-

It took almost the entire month of January until Suki had a day off, in fact, two days off. She skipped over her birthday on the 18th, opting for takeout and a movie (and not telling anyone it was her birthday so they wouldn’t make a fuss). Yay to twenty-eight. Her plans for her days off initially involved those chips and candy she didn’t get to indulge in before; but then she thought about Bryce’s words the last time ‘…and you didn’t even think to invite me?’ And immediately caved. She did want to see him after such a long time. Especially after how he was in bed at New Years…

Santa Fe: 👃yours?

Scalpel Jockey: i finish in a couple hours?

Santa Fe: cool, i’ll be there

Scalpel Jockey: 😈

So after a couple of hours Suki arrived at Bryce’s place. Pretty much as soon as she stepped through the door she was rushing Bryce’s shirt off.

“Woah, someone’s eager.”

“It’s been a little while.”

—-

A chunk of time and a few rounds later, Bryce and Suki caught their breath on his bed. Suki wasn’t ready for the night to end, she was pretty horny still, and she had the day off tomorrow, too.

“Hey,” she grinned with mischief and sudden inspiration in her eyes, she had missed out on birthday fun after all, “wanna get drunk and do body shots?”

“Absolutely,” Bryce bit his lip and his eyelids sunk with desire. Suki already knew this would be an interesting night.

They partially dressed and headed into the kitchen to grab Bryce’s alcohol. He crouched down to a little cupboard in the corner of his kitchen.

“Oh.” He pulled a bottle of rum from the cupboard. There was barely anything left in it.

“Shit,” Suki laughed.

“I can grab something from the convenience store?”

“Eh, why not, I’ll come along.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Some fresh air might be nice after all that… exertion.”

So Bryce and Suki put on the rest of their clothes and headed out to walk to the store. The late January cold was biting but neither of them noticed much.

On the walk they talked about everything and nothing, like they were old friends catching up after too long away. Suki tried to ignore the fact that their hands brushed when they walked too close together. That the cold metal of his rings sent a jolt through the nerves in her fingers. She also tried to ignore the fact that made her think about holding that hand. Back on the first day, when they’d danced to The Stone Roses, when he’d asked if she wanted to be adored and made her scramble under his gaze. And then the many times she’d gripped his hand while he was fucking her into oblivion, letting it press her own into the mattress with pressure, his fingers fitting between her own desperately and needing like puzzle pieces. Her nails digging into the back of his hand and vice versa. She remembered how that first time and all the times since their hands had felt right, like an old key and lock with a very specific shape.

Once they reached the store, they picked up two bottles of tequila, and some fresh limes.

“I’ll pay,” Bryce rushed in front of her, “I’ll keep whatever’s left over.”

“Not if we drink it all,” she teased.

“That’s 70cl each, I think not,” Bryce chuckled as the cashier put the bottles in their over-used old plastic bag for them. Suki pulled the full bag from the counter once Bryce had paid.

“Can’t handle it?”

“Thanks man,” Bryce said to the cashier and they began to make their way outside. “As doctors I think we both know 70cl is like, death limits.”

“Long term, maybe,” she shrugged. When she saw the look Bryce was giving her, she added, “I’m joking, you dumbass! I’m not sure why you even bought two bottles.”

“Eh, saves coming down here again.”

“Lazy-ass.”

They pushed open the door to step into the cold outside. Bryce shook his head affectionately and laughed at Suki, despite the conversation being barely funny.

As he laughed, Bryce stumbled backwards off the step up to the shop and into a man drinking just outside the store.

“Oops, sorry man,” he grinned an apology. It was lighthearted and accidental and that should’ve been the end of it. But this dude did not look happy.

“Hey Buddy, are you looking for a fight?”

“No, not at all – just an accident, dude.”

“Are you fuckin’ sure?” The man signalled down to the ground where a vodka bottle was smashed into large pieces.

“I’m sorry, I’ll buy you another.”

Suki was beginning to feel very stressed. Confrontation was her least favourite thing ever. She pulled one of the tequila bottles from her bag.

“Here, sir. Have this. He really didn’t mean to break it.”

“Tell your boyfriend to be more careful,” he spat.

Suki didn’t want to provoke him any more by correcting him, but she also didn’t want him to keep talking smack. Hearing this guy get so worked up over Bryce’s mere mistake was enough to give Suki a major adrenaline and confidence boost.

“He tripped, and then apologised immediately. We offered to buy you another bottle, and even offered up our own. Maybe you need to calm down.” Her voice was slightly raised and she was starting to see red from anger.

“Suki-“ Bryce started, holding a hand out as though to shield her.

But this man was very intoxicated and clearly in the mood to be a dick, because he walked over to Suki and shoved her to the floor. It was like everything was moving in fast forward because it happened in just seconds. And then all of a sudden Suki was on the other side of the coin and in slow motion, stumbling down to the concrete. In the process the tequila in the dishevelled bag in her hand also smashed through the worn plastic and to the floor and Suki, in trying to break her fall, stumbled back on her hands. She winced as her hand dug right into one particularly sharp shard of glass.

“Shit.”

The man’s eyes widened as he noticed what he’d done and the absolute rage and contempt on Bryce’s face. Bryce was furious. Suki had never seen him so mad. Not even that day he’d lost the surgery. And it wasn’t cartoon smoke-out-the-ears fury either, it was scary. Pure. The drunkard was clearly terrified by Bryce’s expression and his tightly clenching fists and he scarpered.

“HEY! ASSHOLE!” Bryce shouted after him, running down the road after him a bit. Suki was surprised at how fast he was running. He got a little ways down the sidewalk when the other man crossed a traffic-filled road. Bryce looked back and saw Suki on the floor - he knew his priority was her.

He returned to where she was now sat on the floor, examining the glass shoved into her hand and crumbs of concrete around the area, too. The aroma of tequila mixed with blood was overwhelming. Suki was honestly feeling a mixture of shell-shock and dizzy headiness.

“Fuck,” Bryce said, crouching beside her and taking her hand in his like the very limb was made of glass. “I’ll fucking kill him. Does anywhere else hurt? Are you okay emotionally?”

His deep brown eyes searched hers, desperate concern clouding them. All traces of the absolute anger of before were gone, only solicitude and tunnelled focus on the woman before him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Maybe a bruise on my butt but I’ve had worse. What a dick.”

Bryce held the underside of her hand in both of his, securing her wrist steady, and scrunched his face up as he inspected it. “We need to get the glass out of this.”

“Easy, it’s only the one piece.” Suki tried not to yelp as she pulled the shard from her palm.

“Suki!” Bryce chastised.

“It’s all good, see?”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just do that after nine years of medical training.”

“It’s fine,” she assured him, hoping her eyes were telling him so too. Sure, it hurt, but it wasn’t enough to make a big deal out of.

“You should let me take you to the emergency room.”

“Bryce. It’s fine. It’s not a big deal.”

He winced as he looked at the blood still pouring from the gash in her hand. “I swear I’ll deck that guy if I ever see him again. It’ll heal much better if you go to the ER and get stitches. The last thing a doctor needs is nerve damage.”

“Bryce.”

“Fine, then you’re coming back to mine and letting me stitch it.”

“Bryce!” Suki was feeling like a broken record, but honestly at that moment, a combination of shock and the odd feeling Bryce’s eyes gave her was making it a little difficult to access her full word library.

“Don’t wear my name out,” he winked, keeping one hand on hers and placing the other round her waist as he helped pull her up from the ground. She was sure to grab the unaffected tequila bottle and limes with her functioning hand.

“I could’ve stood up by myself you know, my legs are fine.”

“I’m keeping this hand so you don’t do anything else to it,” he said, taking Suki’s wrist to hold her bleeding hand above her heart, and began to pull her along with him. She sighed but let him pull her along, anything to get him not to go after that guy. She didn’t need the further mortification.

The walk back had lost the vibe of the walk there; solemn and sober. Mostly filled with Bryce muttering things about the man and retained asking of Suki’s well-being.

Bryce held her wrist the entire way, catching most of the leftover dripping blood on his own hand.

They reached Bryce’s apartment and he unlocked the door for them, closed it behind him, and then led Suki over to the sofa.

“Stay there,” he instructed before disappearing into the kitchen. Seconds later he re-emerged with a sizeable first aid kit.

“That’s big,” Suki laughed, a little more colour in her cheeks now that they were inside, “I would say you’re compensating for something but...”

“But you know I’m not,” he grinned smugly as he perched beside her.

Bryce was ever so delicate as he held Suki’s hand and cleaned away the blood with an antiseptic wipe. She winced the first time the cool chemical wipe made contact with the gash which caused Bryce to immediately stop and look at her. She gave him a little nod to continue. He did his best to be careful as he moved the skin around a bit under his phone flashlight to see if any glass was lingering.

“I swear Suki if this heals and there’s still glass in there because you wouldn’t let me take you to the ER, you’ll never hear the end of this.”

“Fine, but I trust your 20/20 vision and steady scalpel hand.”

“As you should.”

Once the wound was clean and Bryce had checked multiple times for fragments of glass, he pulled his suture kit from the box.

Watching Bryce steady the curved needle end in some tweezers was artful. He was so practised, so sure. The way his pretty features furrowed together slightly in focus was magnetising. She was amazed at how steady his hands were, how such large appendages could look so fine and delicate. Each stitch pulled through was neat and even, Suki’s eyes flicking between the stitches and Bryce’s facial expression. It was piercing her skin but it was like she couldn’t feel it. His other hand remained beneath hers, holding it up and keeping it from shaking. Then Bryce secured the stitches and started to wrap some bandage around for extra protection.

Bryce finished off his bandaging by tucking it in at the back of her hand. He held her hand, still.

“It’s going to scar,” he sighed.

“What’s a doctor without a few scars?”

“Touché.”

“Thank you for doing this.”

“It was no question.”

Suki couldn’t help but notice the way Bryce’s thumb soothed the back of the hand it was holding. She looked up to the clock. It had only been an hour since they’d left for drinks. Eventful hour.

Eventually Bryce seemed to notice his hand and removed it from hers.

“What about those body shots then?” She smirked.

“You’re hurt.”

“It’s a cut on my hand, I was planning on doing these shots with my mouth…”

Bryce raised his eyebrows and licked his lips. “Well, we did manage to salvage one bottle.”

“Not to mention it has been secured by ‘the best surgical intern at Edenbrook’.”

“Oh you’re damn fucking right. Fine, you know how to convince a guy. We’re gonna take it careful though, okay?”

“Deal. On which I will not shake my hand.”

He laughed and got up to fetch the shot glasses from the kitchen, beckoning her over.

“The counter will be best.”

Suki laid down first, letting Bryce slip her top over her head (with which he was incredibly careful with her hand), and slide her pants down her legs until she was laying on his kitchen island in only her underwear.

“Now, this is a sight that could encourage me to be in the kitchen more,” Bryce laughed, trailing a finger up and down her arm and causing her to tremble.

“Still haven’t learned any recipes, huh?”

“No. But there’s no way in hell we’re talking about cooking right now.”

Bryce licked a finger and trailed it slowly between Suki’s breasts, then sprinkled some salt over that area. He rested the lime wedge on her stomach. Finally he filled a shot glass with the spirit and placed it in her mouth. She was trying not to laugh too hard so that she didn’t spill the tequila all over her face.

“Ready?” He smirked. She lifted her good hand in an ‘ok’ sign.

As Bryce leaned down towards Suki’s chest, his face was hungry, craving. That look was making Suki’s stomach flip all kinds of directions. He sensuously licked his tongue up between her breasts, catching each grain of salt. He laughed a little as he moved to collect the shot glass in his own mouth. Their lips touched briefly as he secured it in his mouth, then he threw his head back and downed the shot immediately. Then rather swiftly Bryce moved down to Suki’s stomach to suck all the juice from the lime and counter the sharp tequila flavour.

“Okay, that was a really good idea,” he exhaled in the way one does after a strong shot of alcohol. Bryce took another three shots from various parts of Suki’s body; for the last two she lay on her stomach and he used spots such as the nape of her neck, small of her back, and asscheek. The two of them were a messy mix of laughing the whole time, and really enjoying the whole thing.

“Right? My turn now.”

Bryce and Suki switched places, and he threw all his clothing bar underpants off towards the lounge.

Suki used her tongue to dampen the line in the middle of Bryce’s abs for the salt, balanced the shot glass precariously on the flat part of his chest, and placed the lime in his mouth.

She was slow and tantalising as she lapped up the salt, swift as she took the shot, and then there was the lime. She leant down to suck out the sour juice, but kept the lime in his mouth the entire time she drained it. It was an odd but exciting semi-kiss.

After a couple more shots Suki had a new idea.

“Wait, wait,” she laughed, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“What?”

“What if… I poured a bit on your stomach and licked it up…” she was laughing a lot, but it was obvious the idea appealed a lot to her.

“Do it.”

She placed a hand on his stomach to steady him before she planned to carefully pour the liquid over him.

“Hey, careful with that hand,” Bryce nudged, noticing it pressed flat on his body.

“Yes, yes, Dr. Lahela,” she teased.

Time seemed to fly by as the pair took shot after shot, broken up by messy intoxicated kisses, neither realising that Suki’s tolerance was far lower than Bryce’s. After losing count, they wordlessly abandoned the game, relocating to dance around stupidly in their underwear in the living room. Suki may or may not have been swigging tequila directly from the bottle at that point.

A number of songs played and then:

“I’m… pretty drunk,” Suki laughed, closing her eyes and letting herself sway a bit.

“Same!” Bryce enthused, before Suki began to topple over towards the sofa, “woah! Okay, you’re more drunk than me.” He giggled as he caught her fall. Now he was sitting on the floor with Suki’s jelly-like body in his arms. He kept a weary eye on her bandaged hand.

Yes, Bryce was drunk, but the moment he needed to be sensible or protective it was like a switch went off in his brain.

Her eyes were still shut and a blissful smile spread over her face. “Kiss me.”

Bryce leaned in and gave her a chaste peck to the lips.

“I know you can kiss better than that,” she echoed his words from their epic kiss.

“Not when you’re drunker than me I can’t.”

“Boohoo.”

“We should get you home. I’ll come with, I’m not sure I’m comfortable putting you in an Uber alone.”

“I don’t think I can walk very far, Bryyyceee.”

“Okay, you can have my bed then. I’ll take the sofa.”

“Nooooo,” she brought up her limp hands to grab either side of his face, visibly wincing a bit when the bandaged one made contact with his face. “Sleep with me.”

“Clothed? Sure.” Bryce took her damaged hand in his own and held it away from any pain risks.

“Nopeeee,” Suki’s remaining clumsy hand began to slide down Bryce’s chest and fiddle with the band of his boxers. He laughed and grabbed them both with his free hand to stop her.

“I’m not having sex with you again tonight.”

“Meanie.”

“Okay.” He chuckled again.

“But will you sleep with me? Like, to make sure I don’t throw up in the night or something.”

“Sure, miss tequila.”

Bryce stood and pulled Suki up with him, her eyes fluttering open at the movement, and supported her in the walk to his bedroom.

“Are you cold? I have some pyjamas if you’d like,” he offered when they got there, still holding her tightly to his side.

She shook her head, but didn’t seem sure. She looked up to Bryce with wide eyes and a startled expression like she was only just really seeing him.

“Bathroom,” she choked out, and Bryce rushed her towards his en-suite. He supported her all the way to her eventually emptying the contents of her stomach into his toilet bowl.

He held her hair back from her face as she very inelegantly upchucked into Bryce’s toilet a few times.

“I’m sorry,” she looked up at him, eyes wide and apologetic, “I didn’t mean to drink so much I’m just…” nervous around you. Stupidly feeling ways I shouldn’t for my fuck Buddy. Wanted you to see me as fun and free-spirited. Now I’m just embarrassing myself.

“You don’t need to explain yourself. It’s okay.”

Once it was clear nothing else was coming out, Bryce helped Suki drink from a glass of water, and briefly left the room for her to pee.

Bryce was gentle as he ran a spare (unused) toothbrush around her mouth and directed her head to the sink each time to spit.

Suki wasn’t coherent enough to ramble all her apologies and thanks’, but she was so grateful. Could this man stop being so amazing, please? I’m trying to stop being weird, here.

Eventually Bryce was able to help Suki into some of his pyjamas, somehow without looking at all. Seeing a very drunk naked girl is not the same, even if he had seen said girl naked many times prior. Then he helped her into bed and she collapsed against his pillow like a rag doll. He climbed into bed beside her, careful to keep his distance.

“Bryce…” she slurred, the sleep clear in her voice. “You’re a really great guy. I’m glad we’re…” Suki was going to say friends, but it felt wrong coming out of her mouth at that moment. “I’m glad I know you.”

“Yeah, I’m glad I know you too.” Bryce reached up a hand to stroke her cheek. She sighed into his hand, moving a bit cat-like.

“Since you wouldn’t fuck me, will you at least cuddle me?”

Bryce laughed. “Of course.”

“You are so great. So great. Great guy.” As she mumbled these words drunkenly it was clear the unconsciousness was taking over.

Bryce rolled towards her and cradled her into his chest, holding her tightly as though it had been a long time coming.

Bryce’s breaths came gently over Suki’s forehead. And after a few minutes, when he was sure she’d fallen asleep, he spoke ever so quietly.

“If only you knew what a screw up I was,” he muttered. Suki may have been drunk and spewing shit she wouldn’t sober, but her ears were working fine. And she would remember this in the morning. Despite the intoxication she knew such out of pocket words would be something she’d recall. She knew then to keep as still as she could, not alerting to him that she was awake or coherent.

—-

When Suki woke up, her pillow was hard. Her duvet was gripping her waist kind of tightly, too. As she nuzzled into the pillow her senses were invigorated with a sudden and familiar scent: suddenly most of the nights events clocked in her brain.

Sex with Bryce. Walk to convenience store. Accidental beef with drunk man. Damaged hand. Bryce stitching up said hand. Body shots. Lots of body shots. Random blank moment. Oh god - throwing up in Bryce’s toilet. Being dressed by a closed-eye Bryce. Finally falling into bed. Those words.

What the hell could he have meant by that last night? If only I knew what a screw up he was? As far as I’m concerned right now he’s an angel sent from above to deal with a problematically drunk Suki.

He was breathing gently beneath her, quiet noises at each exhale. She noticed as she listened to the rhythm of his heart, that her heart was beating in time with his.

Maybe she should’ve left. After all, she’d ended up causing a lot of trouble for Bryce. And, she’d stayed the night. Maybe if she left before he woke up it wouldn’t count that she’d broken the rule.

But before she could truly agonise over her decision, Bryce stirred, blinking awake and looking down at her.

“Hey,” he smiled. To Suki’s surprise his arm remained around her waist. Okay, I’m surprised he doesn’t hate me. Then again, he wouldn’t be the type to be open about hating someone.

“Hey,” she replied quietly, looking up at him from his chest. “So… I was pretty drunk last night.”

“Yeah. I thought I was too and then you fell over. The decline was pretty quick after that.”

“I’m so sorry. That you had to see me like that, look after me, and then I hijacked your bed too… it wasn’t appropriate of me and it was unfair on you.”

“It’s okay, Suki. You’d do the same for me. We’re friends and making sure you’re okay and looked after is important to me,” he nodded sincerely before grinning and adding, “plus, now I have plenty of blackmail material.”

“God I was awful wasn’t I?”

He chuckled.

Oh shit. “Did I say anything really bad? If I did please ignore it because I talk out of my ass when I’m drunk I’m sure it was utter nonsense.”

“If you did, I think I’ll keep it to myself.”

Ughhhhh. She groaned loudly and buried her face into his chest so that she didn’t have to see that stupid smirk. Now my mind will race about what I could’ve said for the rest of time.

Suki actually felt like hitting Bryce as his large hand slowly soothed her back.

He had to stop doing so much for her, being so exemplary, because it was adding to a problem that had been brewing in Suki for a while. He’d comforted her in the supply closet twice, he’d looked after Tommy, he’d held her hair back while she was sick and let her stay the night, and he’d stitched up her wound so carefully and precisely. He’d even nearly beat up that guy for her.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit.

She’d broken her promise, because it wasn’t just about sex anymore. Truthfully, maybe it never was.

There was absolutely no way she could swing it any longer. Suki Moore liked Bryce Lahela. As more than a friend, more than a body. She was enamoured by him, and had no clue what to do about it.

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ewgoals · 4 years ago

Text

Phoenix (1)

Chapter one- 1985

1985

Word count- 7,621

Trigger warnings- Drug Use, Cursing, Racist slurs,smoking,underage drinking,fighting, underage sex mentioned, cult themes.

A/N: This is Chapter one of Phoenix, please let me know how you are feelings about this. I am very excited for this, also did you catch the reference or am I too old haha. This isn’t how Harry lost his virginity it’s how the person this book is based off did.

Tatianna Deluca was born on September 24th,1968; She was the fifth child born to Agina and Benito Deluca. Agina and Benito were both immigrants coming to America when they met. Agina Chernyshevsky was born on January 15th, 1942; in Moscow, Russia, she was the only girl born into three boys. Agina’s parents sent her and her brothers to America in 1958, wanting to make sure their children had the best life they could, Agina lived with an aunt for a little while until she met Benito Deluca. Benito Deluca was born on July 18th, 1940, in Venice, Italy.

Benito was the youngest boy of six boys; the family left Italy when Benito was 16. Benito worked various jobs through New York until he finally settled on a restaurant in Brooklyn, New York. Agina and Benito met in 1958 when Agina went into the restaurant wanting to try a New York pizza for the first time, Benito loved the thick Russian accent that the short young woman had plus Agina had a beauty like no other with her bright blonde and stunning green eyes and olive skin. Benito was hooked; what he didn’t know was that Agina had pretty similar feelings towards the man as well. Agina could feel herself falling in love with his bright blue eyes and dark hair; he kind of reminded her of old blue eyes himself, Frank Sinatra. Benito finally got the courage to get to ask Agina onto a date after she came into the restaurant for the sixth time that week, Agina agreed with no looking back. Benito and Agina were married on July 15th,1959.

Agina and Benito went on to have their first child a few months later, on May 6th, 1960. Agina and Benito both weren’t very fluid with English, so they often talked to their children in either Russian or Italian, depending on which parent they were speaking with, often relying on American music and American Television to teach their children English. All of the children quickly picked up the third language and found almost comfort in music, which led the oldest five to take up an instrument.

Tatianna growing up was a devout catholic just like her family, they would wake up at 6 am just to make it to mass at 7 am. Tatianna would often spend her time in church making fun of her brother’s in the tuxes they would wear, but they would often make fun of the dress their sister would be forced to wear. The kid’s parents would often slap them behind the head to make them stop talking. As Tatianna became more involved in church life, the woman began singing for the choir. She would often be given the parts, where she was hitting high notes and long notes. The young girl was 15 when a record executive saw her singing in the choir and asked her parents if she could join the small girl group he wanted to create, the parents knew that their daughter wanted to be a singer, so they quickly agreed.

May, 1985

Tatianna was moved to Los Angeles, California. When she was 17 after her parents gave her older brother Illya temporary custody of the young woman, Tatianna wasn’t really into the music, the girl group which now went by the name “through thick and thin” she hated it. They were a typical pop group whose songs were written by other people and had no real heart behind them. Tatianna would often tell her brother about it, but she didn’t want to bother him too much, so she would often keep it inside her.

Tatianna was sitting in the studio as the girls were recording their new album. She was getting sick of listening to this girl Ashley sing the same line repeatedly because she was often flat with her delivery of the line. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back in like an hour,” the producer just nodded as the woman grabbed a pack of cigarettes and left. She was walking around sunset blvd; she was like a kid in a candy store. The woman loved all of the stories coming out of this strip, and the bands that played here we what she wanted to be, Tatianna shook her head as she lit another cigarette standing across the street from the famous Troubadour.

Tatianna remembered reading a magazine a few years back where the Rolling Stones called in one of the world’s best rock clubs; she was taken out of her thoughts by something hitting her. The woman gasped as she felt the front of her being covered in liquid “what the fuck” the woman’s thick New York accent mixed heavily with a Russian one, especially when she was angry. “I’m so sorry,” an English accent spoke before Tatianna sighed a little as she helped the young boy up “it’s fine, I guess I was to blame too. I wasn’t paying attention” the boy nodded as he said “where are you from because that doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard” the woman just smiled as she spoke, “I’m from Brooklyn, but my mother is from Russia, so it comes out more when I am yelling I am Tatianna by the way.”

The boy nodded as she finished, “Oh, sorry. I’m Harry” The woman just smiled a little curly-haired boy in front of her as she laughed a little “well, Harry, I wish I could say it was nice to meet you. Still, you kinda ruined my shirt” Harry laughed a little as he looked down at the woman’s outfit, she was wearing a pair of high waisted leather pants that she paired with a crop top of the musician Elton John before Harry quickly dug into his pockets and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. He handed it to the woman. “Here that should replace it,” the woman shook her hand as she pushed his hand backNo,o. you are a baby, keep your money. I’ll just make my brother give me his” Harry raised an eyebrow as he quickly came back with, “I’m not a baby. I am fifteen.”

Tatianna laughed as she smiled “you are a baby. I have a little brother just your age.” the man shook his head as he said, “I’m not arguing this. You are wrong” Harry said stubbornly before Tatianna just laughed “here how about this I have to go back to the studio to record some stupid ass songs that I can’t stand why don’t you pay me back by keeping me company because my brother even bailed on me today.”

Harry smiled as he nodded ‘Just let me call my mom and tell her” as soon as the word’s left his mouth, Tatianna laughed “see a baby” Harry looked down as he shouted “okay you win that” Tatianna laughed as she lit another cigarette and motioned with her head “come on little boy” Harry just laughed as the walked back to the studio, Harry asked about Tatianna’s large family and Tatianna asked about Harry’s career.

When they finally arrived at the studio, they walked into a shit show to say the less, Ashley was screaming in the face of the other bandmate Aquanette, better known as Aqua to everyone she cared for. Tatianna was about to leave when she heard Ashley say “I am the only talent in the band, I am stuck with Jungle bunny and a Nazi oh wait I’m sorry she’s also a Guido” The thick southern accent of the woman finished as Tatianna finally pushed Ashley back out of Aqua’s face “you better back the fuck up before you end up on the floor” Ashley quickly got into Tatianna’s face “Suka, luchshe vernis', prezhde chem ya pozvonyu dyade.”

(Bitch better back up before I call my uncle.)

The woman spoke between her teeth as Ashley said, “Hitler needs to calm down” Tatianna rolled her eyes as she said, “I’m Russian, you dumb cunt. I helped stop Hitler, you dumbass hick” Tatianna stayed in the face of the woman as she felt a familiar hand grab her elbow as Harry almost looked scared “Why don’t we leave.” the thick English accent spoke as Tatianna nodded before she left the woman quickly punched the other woman in the face as she grabbed her purse and her leather jacket. Harry smiled sweetly at the woman as they left the building Tatianna grabbed another cigarette lighting it and taking a deep drag as she closed her eyes “That was pretty cool, I wasn’t expecting that left hook” the woman laughed shaking her head “I have four older brothers I need a good left hook to survive” Harry laughed as looked over at her just smiling as he did so.

Tatianna was about to make a joke before she heard her brother Ilya deep voice yell, “what the fuck. I left you alone for a day, and you hit one of them” Tatianna’s New York accent came out as she said, “Fuck You! That racist ass bitch got what was coming. She called me a nazi, but that’s not why I punched her. She called Aqua a jungle bunny” Ilya just shook his head. “Uncle John would be proud” Tianna shook her head before pointing at Harry “this is my friend. He spilled coffee on my shirt, but he’s still my friend,” she joked. The curly-haired boy next to her laughed a little and stuck out his hand “Harry Styles it’s nice to meet you” the man said, Ilya stuck out his hand and shook the other man’s hand “so where to next?”

Tatianna smiled as she said, “let’s get curly over here a fake ID, and let’s go see this new band Guns n roses” Harry smiled before saying, “you can do that?” Tatianna nodded as she smiled “Oh, you poor sheltered boy. Yes, we can do that” Harry nodded as he smiled “yeah let’s do that” Ilya smiled as he said “let’s go find a payphone and get you an ID” The three made their way to the apartment that the studio pays for after getting the face of ID for Harry. They wait a few hours before leaving for the Troubadour.

Once they arrived, Tatianna felt an arm wrap around her waist before she had time to react. “I knew you would come,” Tatianna squealed as she turned around and hugged the man tightly. “Axl!” the older man laughed as he hugged her back, rubbing her back. “Oh let me see what you are wearing” the man joked as he pulled away as the woman did a little turn, he looked her up and down seeing that she changed into a high waisted black skirt, that she pulled up too much to make it into a mini skirt. She paired it a white crop top with the logo from the band Guns n roses “I know my boobs aren’t that impressive, but hey once I get the money they will be done” Axl laughed as he smiled “you look gorgeous” the man hugged her again and kissed her cheek as he squeezed her ass which made her gasp as she laughed.

Harry saw the situation and couldn’t help but get a little jealous of the situation; the man didn’t want to admit it because he barely knew the girl, but he couldn’t help himself. The young boy walked away from the two very familiar friends and went over to the bar and handed the bartender his fake ID and ordered a random drink; the man was on his second drink before Tatianna saw him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder’s “Hey there you are baby. I thought a lost you” Harry smiled as he looked down, “yeah, I felt awkward.”

Tatianna smiled as she ordered herself a drink before she said, “Oh, honey. That’s a good friend of mine. I met him while I was trying to sneak into a concert. If I’m honest, he took my virginity but don’t tell my mom” Harry looked over at the woman as he nodded “My mom made a tent in the back yard and gave me condoms” he joked looking at her as Tatianna smiled before pouting “You aren’t a virgin? Damn, I wanted to take it” the woman joked as she winked at the man finishing her drink before she ordered another one “I haven’t been a virgin since I was four” Tatianna looked at him confused “what?”

Harry looked down as he said, “my first sexual experience was when he was aged four. Living in Venezuela with his peripatetic family – who were subscribed to the Children of God kids were coerced into performing sexual acts with parents and other children. But I’ve blocked it out. I was completely celibate from ten to 14. I haven’t really had sex with many people. So, I decided to lose my ‘second virginity,’ you know, because he lost my first when I was four. So, I decided to drop it to this older girl I knew, and strangely enough, I asked my parents for permission. Instead of just saying yes, my parents put a tent in the backyard for me to get it on in, and they ‘decorated it to enhance the mood.” Tatianna just looked at him, shocked.

Tatianna went to speak, but Ilya said, “Hey, take this. I’m going to this girl’s place. Tell Axl to take you home after” Tatianna took the vile from the man and nodded as she turned back to Harry. “Listen, that’s fucked up. I thought the catholic religion was bad, but wow. I’m sorry that happened” Harry shook his head, “what’s in the vile?” Tatianna shook her head “nothing you need to get your hands on, let’s enjoy the show” Tatianna ordered a couple more drinks as she smiled “come on” the woman pulled him into the crowd as she got closer to the stage, she felt Harry be pressed up against her. The woman smiled as she reached behind and pulled him closer, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist as they looked up at stage “see, I can protect you.”

Harry smiled at his hand around the woman’s waist before looking up as he smiled gently, the woman finished into her drink as she placed it on the floor and leaned down putting the vile her brother gave her into her nose and took a deep breath in snorting a small amount of the powder into her nose. She threw her head back before running her finger over her teeth. “Fuck” Harry was confused, but he didn’t question it too much, they enjoyed themselves during the concert quickly leaving afterward. Harry was drunk, but Tatianna was utterly shit faced, she was high as well as drunk.

When the two teenagers arrived back at her apartment, Tatianna grabbed Harry’s shirt, “Nope. You are staying with me. I’m not letting mommy yell at me because her baby is drunk” Harry laughed as he followed her up to the apartment, as soon as she was in her own house she quickly pulled off her shirt “Thank god” she said as Harry smiled at the woman “I’ll sleep on the couch, get some rest” Tatianna shook her head “you’ve been dancing with me all night and feeling up on me too. You can sleep with me” Harry nodded as he followed her into the bedroom. “If you are more comfortable,” Tatianna admitted as Harry smiled “No. I’m excellent.”

The duo fell asleep shortly after; they were cuddled up when they woke up the next morning Tatianna just smiled at Harry cuddled up to her as she slowly sat up and stretched her back out. The woman looked down and took a deep breath as she saw herself in her PJs, “thank god,” she whispered as Harry spoke, “don’t seem so disappointed” Tatianna laughed as she said, “Maybe when you are older Harry.”

The two friends remained close ever since then, they would always hang out, and when they couldn’t, they would call the other on the home phone in their house. Tatianna just looked at Harry as a friend, but it was evident that Harry felt different, the man would always find a reason to compliment Tatianna or tell her that she was the most talented girl in the world. Tatianna would always tell him that he was good for her ego, but she never really let him take it farther than that.

June 1985

Tatianna was shocked when Harry invited her to the set of Stand By me; she was also completely taken back when she saw her curly-haired boy with a clean-shaven head, it took the woman a few minutes to even recognize the boy she cared about so much. The woman couldn’t believe that he cut his hair, she already missed the curls of the man, she just shook her head at the shock “Hey beautiful boy” was all she said as he hugged her “Hey Titi” the woman smiled at the nickname her family gave her “come on show me around please.” the man nodded as he took her hand and led her into the closed set.

Tatianna gripped Harry’s hand as she felt eyes staring at her, the woman tried to calm herself down by telling herself that they were just trying to figure out who the woman. Tatianna kept telling herself until she heard a female voice said, “That’s the girl who attacked her bandmate” Tatianna just looked down, trying not to cry as she gripped Harry’s hand tighter “Harry, I should go” was all she whispered. Still, he turned back “Hey, you just got here” Tatianna just shook her head as whispered “Harry, these people hate me because of what happened with Ashley” Harry just hugged the woman tightly as he ran his hand down her back “come on, let’s go to my trailer” the woman wiped her eyes as Harry led her back to his trailer.

As soon as the door closed in the trailer, the woman broke down. Tatianna felt like she couldn’t stop the tears as she tried to catch her breath, she wasn’t one to cry about some words that were said about her but more than anything the situation frustrated her which caused the tears to fall. Harry was quick to be by her side as she put her face in his lap, he rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her dark locks as he whispered “You did the right thing with Ashley” The woman shook her head as she sat up “clearly I didn’t I’m being called unprofessional and reckless. She called Aqua, a jungle monkey. I mean, yes, it could’ve been worst, but it’s still racist as fuck” Harry nodded as the woman spoke through her tears.

“I know that beautiful girl; you did what any good human would’ve done” Tatianna looked up at the man, as he wiped her tears away “I will protect you from them, please stay” Tatianna nodded as Harry placed his hand on her cheek, she relaxed into his palm as she closed her eyes “Thank you sweet boy” Harry smiled as he leaned forward and kissed the woman’s forehead. Tatianna stood up, and Harry wasn’t far behind her as she grabbed his hand “Ashley is a stupid whore” Harry shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll always have my girl’s back,” Tatianna laughed as she wrapped her arm around his waist “I’ll be your girl when you can grow a beard” “shit” The duo laughed.

Tatianna was sitting in Harry’s chair as they went through the scene they were filming, Tatianna closed her eyes as she listened to the various lines that Harry was speaking. Harry’s English accent was completely gone and replaced with an American one; this caused Tatianna to open her eyes and watch the man in front of the camera. He grabbed her attention; he almost demanded her attention much different from his shy self that Tatianna loved so much. When the director called cut, the woman shook her head as he smiled at her boy, walking towards her.

“What did you think?” Tatianna couldn’t help but smile as she spoke, “You were beyond amazing already. I can’t wait to see it completely.” the woman went to talk as she heard someone fake cough as they said “Whore” Tatianna to roll her eyes as she turned around looking at the woman who just fake coughed, Tatianna just smirked as she fake coughed as well “Cunt” the woman cleared her throat as she spoke “Sorry I had something in my throat before I called you a cunt” Harry tried not to laugh as she took her hand walking away from the pathetic woman.

Harry and Tatianna finally finished at the studio that day, as they were leaving Tatianna made sure to flip the woman off once more as she wrapped her arm tightly around Harry’s waist. When the inseparable duo finally made their way outside, the woman let go of Harry’s waist as she ran her hand over his short hair “please tell me it’s a joke” Harry laughed as he shook his head “Sorry beautiful, it’s all real, but my hair grows back super quick, so I’m not worried.” Tatianna, as she smiled, “well, if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.” Harry smiled as he said, “and you said that I’m good for your ego” Harry laughed as Tatianna smiled as she looked over at him and smiled, “what to go out again?” Harry smiled as he looked down at his wallet to make sure he had this fake ID “Sure. if they will still take this”

Tatianna couldn't help but smile “okay, I’ll meet you at the whiskey in like two hours” Harry nodded as he kissed her cheek as Tatianna just smiled as he walked back into the movie studio, Harry couldn’t wait until he was done he missed hanging out with Tatianna due to both of them having such a busy schedule. Harry was finally back on the set, looking around for his co-star, finally settling on Corey Feldman. “Hey man,” the quirky kid just smiled as Harry put his hand on his shoulder. “Did you see her?” Corey laughed as he smiled at the other boy. “Yes, Harry, we all saw the brunette with blue eyes and legs that go on, and the ass that won’t quit” Harry lightly slapped the boy’s head “Shut up. I’m going to convince her to be mine today.”

Corey laughed as he shook his head “No you aren’t she is a rock girl, she wants the sex, drugs and rock n roll. You will never be that guy. She looks at you like a little brother. If you keep on this trail, you will just make yourself sad. Why don’t you ask that one girl who keeps calling you?” Harry looked a little disappointed that Corey was more than likely right about his situation with Tatianna, but Harry nodded, “Yeah, Martha is a nice girl. I guess I should just ask her out already” Corey nodded as he placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder “Maybe one day you’ll get your rockstar girl but no way in hell you’ll be able to get her with your baby face” Harry rolled his eyes as he pushed the other boy’s hand away “Yeah Yeah Yeah I know. She’s too pretty for me.”

Corey shook his head as he said, “quite the opposite you are both beautiful people, she is just in a different mindset. You are looking forever, which is rare in a fifteen-year-old, and she’s looking for right now and how much fun she can have.” Harry nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at Corey “I don’t know why that helped me a lot, but you did.” Corey smiled as he pointed at his head “I’m pretty smart, but I act like I’m stupid, so people don’t expect my smartness” Harry smiled sweetly at the other kid “You are beyond smart. You should show it more often.”

Harry went over to The Whiskey A GO GO as he planned with Tatianna a few hours earlier, the man looked around trying to find his friend. When he finally saw his friend she was on the dance floor with a guy dancing behind her, the woman was wearing a pink bra that made her boobs look amazing. She paired it with a black fishnet crop top, the woman’s slim stomach was out, she had a white pair of shorts and a black pair of boots. He could see her long socks, poking out the boots. Harry couldn’t take his eyes away from the way the woman swung her hips as she moved them against the man’s groin, Harry saw the man’s arms wrap around Tatianna’s stomach and the other around her neck pushing her closer to him.

Harry looked at the two on the dance floor recognizing the tattoo on the man’s arm; Harry knew it was Axl Rose. The young man just sighed as he went to leave; he couldn’t deal with it. He knew that he just had what people would call a schoolboy crush on Tatianna, but he felt like it was more than that, it had only been two months, but he knew that he wanted her. He wanted all of her. He wanted the woman who stood up when others were scared too; he wanted the woman who demanded anyone’s attention and often would never let another person interrupt her. Harry finally walked out of the bar with tears in his eyes, maybe Corey was right. Perhaps he should call Martha.

July 1985

When July came around, Tatianna noticed that Harry wasn’t talking to her as much, she would often avoid her calls, and when she would show up to his house, he would make an excuse for why he was busy. Tatianna was beginning to have her feelings hurt. Still, she really couldn’t let it affect her, seeing as she was leaving for a tour. The woman would begin a year-long tour around America, and it would start in Alabama of all places or as Tatianna’s brother so nicely put it, cousin fucker state. Tatianna was leaving the next day making sure she said goodbye to Axl and the few friends she made from knowing Axl, the woman was going to force Harry to at least spend an hour with her if anything just to say goodbye.

Ilya told her this plan was stupid, but she did it anyway; Tatianna decided that she was going to get all dressed up, and maybe that would convince Harry well at least his teenage boy hormones to want to hang out with her. Tatianna found a tight pair of white jeans that hugged her body in every perfect way it could; she went with a long cut tank top that she stuffed into the pants. Tatianna did her makeup just like she did the night. Harry told her that she had the most beautiful eyes making sure to make them pop more. Once she finished with her hair, she left for Harry’s house he shared with his family. Tatianna knocked as Harry opened the door the younger man looked almost nervous.

Tatianna raised an eyebrow as she said, “Hey, love, I’m leaving tomorrow. I was kinda hoping we could hang out?” Harry looked back behind the half-opened door. “Umm. Tatianna now is not a good time” the woman tried to cover the hurt in her eyes as much as she could when she heard Harry say her full name “Oh, um sorry. I guess I’ll see you next year,” the woman said, smiling as best as she could. When she went to walk away, she heard a very unfamiliar female voice said “Harry, where did I leave my shirt” this caused the woman to turn around as a young blonde walked out of Harry’s house and said, “Okay, I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”

The young girl who looked to be just about Harry’s age walked back Tatianna not giving her a second glance, the older of the three people just laughed “that’s why you have been busy?” the New York accent running through Harry’s ears as he tried to cover his embarrassment “My goodness! I thought you hated me! You never came to the whiskey that night, so I thought people convinced you that they were right about me. Harry, you can tell me you have a girlfriend.” Harry smiled as Tatianna found the perfect excuse for him without having to admit his feelings.

Tatianna smiled as she reached out, “can you please come to hang out with me?” Harry took the woman’s hand as he closed the door behind him, the woman smiled wide “Okay, I’ll hang out with you.” the man joked as Tatianna intertwined their fingers “come on I found this cute little restaurant” Harry raised an eyebrow “I’m Vegan Titi” the woman smiled at her nickname as she said. “I know that Harry, I made sure that you can eat” the man shook his head “No, I’m taking you somewhere to make up for me getting all weird” The woman silently agreed as they began walking in the opposite direction.

Tatianna was honestly going to give up on this whole thing until Harry brought her to a private beach. It honestly looked like nobody was ever here. Harry broke the silence as he said, “I found this the night I stood you up at the whiskey” Tatianna shook her head “It’s all good. You stood me up, but I don’t mind. I mean, it hurt my feelings, but you were with a girl it’s fine” the young boy shook his head “No I wasn’t. I saw you dancing with Axl, and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I left” Tatianna looked at Harry, confused as she said “Yeah we were dancing? Why didn’t you come to say Hi? Axl loves you. He says you are a little brother he’s always wanted.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he spoke, “because he was all over you, you said you lost your virginity to him so I assumed you were going to leave together why get in the way?” Tatianna did her best to find the perfect words as she said “Harry, I think Axl is a great man. He’s talented and smart but he’s not the guy I would sleep with more than once well I guess twice. He’s my best friend and we were dancing like that because these guys kept groping me” Harry looked down at the floor as she kept speaking “I was excited to spend some time with you but instead you came to a beach alone” Harry nodded as he said “I had to think about some stuff. About our friendship”

Tatianna looked visibly hurt as she just laughed “great they got to you too” the woman said turning around shaking her head “you are big boy walk home by yourself” Harry quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him, they were face to face “let me go, Harry. I want to go home” the man shook his head “No, listen to me nobody got to me I was thinking about our friendship because it’s so much more to me Titi” Tatianna was confused until Harry leaned and kissed her softly, the woman didn’t react at first before she kissed him back. The woman felt his arms wrap around her waist, Tatianna placed her hand on his arm as she pulled away resting her forehead against Harry’s as she whispered “Harry” The boy shook his head as he whispered back “No, I don’t want to hear you are like a brother to me or that I’m too young.”

Tatianna smiled sweetly as the boy in front of her as she whispered “How about while I’m gone you think about your feelings and when you turn 18 if they are the same we can talk about it” The boy shook his head as he said “I will always feel this way for you so what’s the point in waiting” the woman cupped his cheek as she spoke softly “so that you are completely sure and so that you don’t break that little blondes heart” Harry sighed softly as he pulled her close hugging her tightly putting his face in her neck almost inhaling her scent once more, Tatianna hugged him back tightly rubbing his back “I’m looking for forever and you are looking for fun” the woman chuckled a little as she rubbed his back once more “kinda my precious boy.”

The woman pulled away as she said “I’ll write to you every day I’m on tour. I’m begging you please think with your heart and not your head and find what’s in there please” the girl said kissing the side of his head as she pulled away slowly and made him look at her “I love you Harry and I don’t want to lose you because my heart doesn’t feel this way for you right now” the boy nodded as she kissed his forehead “come on let me walk you home.”

December 1985

Tatianna wrote a letter to Harry every night just like she said she would, the women would try their hardest to avoid telling him about the various horrible things that Ashley would say about Aqua or herself. Tatianna didn’t really care about what Ashley said about her if she’s honest, she just cared that Ashley was able to say horrible and negative things about Aqua and her race because of the fact that this so-called manager agreed with Ashley’s racist ass. Tatianna made sure to always sign her letters with the quote “lots of love and always thinking of you” Harry kept every letter in a small box, they made him feel special, it made him feel even more special when he ran into Axl one night on sunset and the older man asked Harry if he had heard from Tatianna.

It was clear that she was really only writing the letters to him, this sent his heart on fire. He knew that he didn’t need a few more years to think about whether or not Tatianna was the one for him. He knew that she was the one he was meant to be, now he just needed to convince the woman of this as well. He understood why she didn’t want to get with Harry, he was only fifteen what does he know about love but all the boy talked about Tatianna. She was all that was on his mind, she consumed most of his thoughts. She was an addiction and Harry had no plans on kickin it.

Harry decided that he was going to tell her all of his feelings about her when she came back to Los Angeles for her next concert. He felt it was the perfect option, if she said no then he could have six months to get over the heartbreak before he would see her again. Harry made sure to get himself all dressed up for her concert, he was wearing a pair of khaki skinny jeans that he put a black shirt on but quickly covered it up with an orange sweater. Harry felt it was perfect, nothing too fancy but also something casual so she didn’t get any ideas in case he changed his mind.

Tatianna was sitting in her dressing room, which she happily shared with Aqua. The woman was finishing her makeup as Aqua spoke “Did you hear that Ashley is trying to go solo?” Tatianna laughed as she began putting away her makeup “I would like to see that. Please don’t get my hopes up” the other woman laughed as she looked at Tatianna “girl you need to get out of this band. You are way too talented to be here” Tatianna shook her head “No, I’m not leaving you so unless you agree I’m staying right here with you” Aqua just shook her head “when you leave I will too. I’ll work in your parent’s restaurant”

Tatianna laughed as she lit her cigarette and took a drag before saying “I’ll hold you to that. I’ve decided if she says anything tonight she’s getting knocked out on stage” Aqua laughed as she shook her head “Please. I’m begging you to just do it at the end of the set” Tatianna smiled as the devil herself walked into the room “Michael Jackson is in the crowd tonight, you two better not try to show me up” The southern accent rang through the room “Shut up. If you speak to me again you will get fucking hit” Tatianna said standing up “Okay little boy, talk to me when you grow some boobs” Aqua quickly grabbed Tatianna as Ashley turned around and slammed the door.

Tatianna rolled her eyes as she went to her bag and grabbed her outfit for the night, Tatianna put on a pair of high waist black spandex shorts that showed her ass perfectly. The woman put on a red button-up shirt, she tied up to show off her torso “I’m going to kill her tonight” Aqua changed into her stage outfit as Tatianna looked over at her and smiled softly “promise to leave with me” Aqua smiled as she nodded “Yes, You and me” the girl winked. Tatianna walked out of the dressing room and saw Ashley having Harry almost pinned against the wall as she was leaning into Harry.

Tatianna quickly walked over and pulled the woman away from Harry, the woman put Harry behind her as she said “Ashley, go-to side stage now” Ashley just rolled her eyes as she looked at Harry who looked very nervous “call me” Ashley winked as Tatianna turned around looking at Harry “Are you okay?” the man nodded “Yeah, I was trying to give you these flowers and she kinda attacked me” Tatianna looked down completely heartbroken that she put him in this situation, the woman quickly hugged Harry as he hugged her back he buried his face in her neck again for the first time in a month. Tatianna pulled away as Harry handed her a bouquet of blue tulips as she smiled softly “Oh my goodness thank you.”

Tatianna took a deep breath of flowers as she kissed Harry’s head-hugging him tightly afterward, the woman closed her eyes for a moment as she took the man’s hand leading him and Aqua towards the side stage. Tatianna pulled Harry close almost making him wrap his arm around her waist “you smell good” Tatianna smiled a little as she heard Harry’s voice next to her ear “well thank you, sweet boy.'' The woman said as she placed her hand on his arm that was wrapped around her torso, the woman handed him her flowers “Stay here and be safe” she said kissing his cheek.

Tatianna took a breath trying to control her emotions, the woman walked on the dark stage standing where she was supposed to as she took the microphone. Tatianna closed her eyes hearing the first note of the song, the woman hated dancing but she was taught the dance moves so she did them. When Ashley finished her small number, Tatianna finally sang the words “We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face But we know this, we got a love that is homeless” Aqua and Tatianna took over the next lines singing with perfectness. “Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that. Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours”

Ashley looked angry as Aqua and Tatianna’s voice blended perfectly together, Tatianna wasn’t really paying attention to Ashley she was more forced on the boy on the side stage. Tatianna didn’t want to admit that the boy with a little crush on her was causing her a lot of feelings, she knew that she couldn’t be with not until he was older. When he knew that she was what he wanted, she couldn’t be the reason he didn’t find true love.

Tatianna was taken out of her thoughts by Aqua singing her part “When you're with him, do you call his name Like you do when you're with me, does it feel the same? Would you leave if I was ready to settle down? Or would you play it safe and stay? Girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless”

Tatianna went to start singing as she walked to the other side of the stage, where she was tripped by Ashley. The dark haired fell and hit her face on the stage which caused her to bust open her lip, Ashley gasped trying to play the good guy. Tatianna couldn’t take it anymore; she managed to spit some of her own blood out of her mouth and quickly tackled Ashley onto the floor of the stage. Tatianna had the racist ass bitch pinned down as she threw shot after shot. The women didn’t realize what was happening until she felt familiar hands wrap around her waist and pull her off quickly, Harry lightly shoved Tatianna towards the side stage as medics rushed out to help Ashley.

Aqua and Harry managed to get Tatianna back into her dressing room, once she was there she began to clean up her own lip “I’m fucking done! I’m going back to New York! I’m going to work in my parents restaurant for the rest of my life and if I see that bitch in New York i’m calling my uncle and I’m going to have him get that bitch” Harry looked a little confused seeing as he’s never heard the woman speak like that and he’s never heard of his restaurant. Tatianna was taken out of her screaming as her older brother walked in “Ты тупая сука. Как мы будем теперь есть?” (You stupid bitch. How are we going to eat now?)

Tatianna looked down as she closed her eyes trying to avoid them filling with tears, the woman didn’t really even think about her brother in this situation. She was more worried about the fact this woman have the guts to trip her and bust her lip on stage, the woman looked up at her brother with tears in her eyes as she spoke back “Мы можем просто пойти домой, пожалуйста” (Can we please just go home)

Illya went to argue but sighed softly “Yeah, give me a few minutes.” Aqua followed her brother out of the room, which left Harry and Tatianna “so you are really going back to New York” Tatianna sighed as he spoke before nodding “don’t really have a choice. I don’t have that much money, I’ll go home to my parents and forget this music dream” Harry shook his head “You can’t do that, you are beyond talented. Your voice makes me believe in angels” Tatianna shook her head as she smiled “Thank you but I can’t do this anymore, I need a break from all of this” Harry nodded as he looked down sadly.

“I’m in love with you” was all the english accent said as Tatianna sighed softly looking down at her vanity desk “Harry, you are fifteen. You don’t know what being in love is” Harry shook his head “yes I do. I know that you are all I think about and when I see you I get this overwhelming feeling in my chest. I know that you feel something too or you would’ve told me to drop it and not wait until i’m eighteen or write only me letters” Tatianna looked up at him as she stood up and walked over to him as she took his hands “Harry, I’m your first real crush. That’s what it is. The girl you lost second virginity too was a girl that you could have sex with.”

Tatianna kissed his hands before she said “Harry, you are the most amazing kid. Maybe later down the line it will be good for us, right now I don’t even know what is going to happen with my career or my life and how can I get into a relationship with someone who needs to learn more about himself as well as what love is? I need to focus on me. I need to fix myself. I can’t help you find you as well” The woman said as she finally met Harry’s eyes that were filled with tears. Tatianna felt like an asshole but she knew that she was right but he was also right. She did feel something but not enough to ruin what was going on for him. The older woman wrapped her arms tightly around Harry, he did what he always did when they hugged, burying his face in her neck. The two stayed for what felt like hours, in some sick way they both knew this was goodbye.

Tatianna and her brother Illya packed up the apartment they shared, and took a bus back to New York. California was always going to be in Tatianna’s heart, it was the place she found the purest man and almost gave her heart to him.

#Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry imagine #axl rose imagine #one direction imagine #one direction #one direction imagines

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cynergy-laughter · 4 years ago

Text

Obey Me! One Master to Abridge Them All! Ep.3

3: I Pact You a Lunch~! (Rated PG-13)

MC: *laying in bed, thinking about stuff* I’ve met all but one... who’s the youngest brother? The Avatar of Sloth... I imagine him as a scene boy, carrying a pillow everywhere.

*D.D.D. Vibrates*

📶________0️⃣1️⃣:4️⃣3️⃣________🔋69%

Levi: So you are sure that Lucifer said that Mammon’s assets were frozen? Like he said the word frozen?

MC: Yes, for the 18th time, as in Let it Go, as in ❄️❄️❄️ Like what do you want from me?

Levi: ... Come to the kitchen.

MC: You getting another Game Fuel energy drink?

Levi: NO... Maybe... no! Just come to the kitchen. And be quick about it, normie.

__________________________________

MC: *smirks* It’s been a day and Otakon still hasn’t noticed.

————

MC: *walking into the kitchen, and hears a rustling in the kitchen* A burgular is eating our food? *walks backward, and hides behind the wall* okay... 1... 2... *jumps into the kitchen* FREEZE SUCKA!

Beel: *jumps up and hits head on the top of the fridge* OW! *cough cough* ah shi-...! You startled me!

MC: I startled you?! B-Beel?! I thought you were a burgular! But I can see I was right, you’re the Hamburgular!

Beel: *eating a leftover burger* I eat when I’m lonely... and hungry, and my whole life. What are you doing here?

MC: Oh I’ve been there... But I was seeing if there were anything to eat, I couldn’t sleep.

Beel: Ah, a fellow midnight snacker, Huh? Well sorry to disappoint you, but I just polished off everything in the fridge.

MC: Well, I guess I’ll have to resort to my own stockpile.

Beel: You were holding out on me with snacks earlier. I want more.

MC: Alright, but first... *pulls out a snack cake* Sit.

Beel: *sits*

MC: Roll over.

Beel: *rolls to the right*

MC: ... Play dead.

Beel: *faints in a dramatic way*

MC: *blinks and goes over to Beel and rubs his belly* Good boy! Who’s a good boy?

Beel: *chuckles and squirms* Thahat tickles.

MC: *gives him the snack cake* There you go.

*interview*

MC: As frightening as the amount of stuff he eats is, Beel is pretty adorable... I absolutely love how he’d do anything for food. He’s like a mix of Garfield, Nermal, and Odie. Always hungry, super cute, and innocent, to an extent. That’s my first impression of him anyway, watch him really be a hard rock.

————

MC: By the way, where’s the 7th brother?

Beel: Do not talk about him, especially not to Lucifer! You should just stop sticking your nose into business that isn’t yours. Thanks for the snack cake, but I’m leaving. *storms off*

MC: ... Call Me... *takes out another snack cake and eats it*

*interview*

MC: ... I guess that was a sore subject... I think I heard him crying... Now I’m determined.

————

???: Psst! Hey!

MC: *looks up* God? Is that you? Grandma? Uncle Jack? Dad?

???: No! Down here! Help me out!

MC: Levi, what are you doing down there?

Levi: Planting a garden and talking to the tomatoes, what do you think I’m doing? I was hiding from Beel!

MC: Are you stuck?

Levi: N-No! I’m not! I’m just... grr... sore cause you... ack! Kept me... come on... waiting!

MC: *takes out D.D.D., gets down onto the floor near the island and makes a video of them and Levi.* Just making memories with my best bro Levi.

Levi: Gah! Hey, what are you doing?!

MC: Levi thought it would fun to try and dive through the island, and he got stuck! Heh, classic Levi. So glad you chose to stop gaming and hang out with me, your best pal! *stops recording*

Levi: YOU DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW! I WILL NOT BE LOOPED INTO YOUR NORMIE POSTS!

MC: Heh, okay okay... there, it’s deleted, alright, let’s get you out.

*interview*

MC: It’s not really deleted, I just sent it to my other phone and deleted it off the D.D.D. It actually gets good reception down here. So, I have some leverage, and Levi thinks that it’s not on my D.D.D. Maybe next time, don’t talk trash about my baby boy Shizuo Heiwajima.

————

Levi: Ugh, finally. Now, back to business... since Lucifer told you that Mammonms assets were frozen, there’s only one place it could be.

MC: ... So why are we in the kit- no. You’ve gotta be kidding me... in the freezer?

Levi: I mean it’s worth a shot. After all, Lucifer wouldn’t put it somewhere far away, like over on Diavolo’s personal ski resort.

MC: Well... work smarter not harder. Which also works better cause it deters idiots.

Levi: *opens the freezer* Let’s see... Hmm... Frostbitten Salmon... Freezerburn Gorgon steaks... Oh, there’s Beel’s ice cream sandwich he lost a few thousand years ago.

MC: *blinks* That’s an ice cream sandwich? It looks like the inside of a meteorite...

Levi: Oh! Here it is! *picks it up and falls down, the block of ice with the credit card resting on his chest* Ack! It’s cold and heavy! H-Help!

MC: You are a demon, you are stronger than me, and I’m a human.

Levi: Just help me team lift it to the microwave!

MC: Alright, hold on!

————

Mammon: Hey! What are you two doi- *gasps* Is that Goldie?!

Levi: Yep! I found it all by myself.

MC: ... Oh hell no, you got me messed up Boku No Shut-in... Wait... he named his credit card Goldie?

Mammon: Shut it human, me and Goldie have been through so much together, you don’t have what we have!

MC: You sound like you both starred in a romcom called The Golden Moron.

Levi: *snorts at that* And you aren’t getting it back until you do what I say.

Mammon: P-Please sir, Please May I have her?

MC: This guy did an Oliver Twist impression... I’m done.

Levi: I will when you give me the Seraphina figurine you won.

Mammon: The Sera-who?

Levi: Seraphina.

Mammon: *blinks* Seratonin?

Levi: Ser-A-Phi-Na! You don’t even know about her, you probably forgot all about her! I got pile driven by you trying to get her back, and you were half asleep naked!

MC: ... lucky bastard...

Levi: How dare you forget about the cold, egotistical Queen of the High Elves who wants nothing more than affection and love-!

MC: Hey, Otakon 2020, can we wrap this up here, I’d like to get some sleep before Lucifer blasts the morning bugle, thank you very much!

Levi: *slowly turns head, hurt* How dare you...

————

Mammon: I’ll do anything, just give me back my card.

Levi: Only if you also make a pact with Enn. So I can finally get my money back from you.

MC: Oh now we’re getting somewhere.

Mammon: Ain’t no way I’m gonna be making a pact with this simple, lowlife, good for nothing, piece of garbage.

MC: I’ve been called worse, you Pell Grant Reject.

Levi: Oh Luciferrrrrr~ 🎶 Mammon’s defrosting his credit card~!

Mammon: I mean yes, i’ll form a pact with this amazing, first class, special, beautiful slice of heaven. It would be my honor~.

MC: Don’t push your luck, Mammon.

*interview*

MC: This fucking sucks! In prison, you have to take down the biggest baddest mfer down in order for people not to mess with you and get respect, and then the funniest. Now I only got the funniest guy and the biggest and baddest is still not taking me seriously. So what the heck does this mean for me? I’m at second best right now.

Mammon: *next to them* Hey, you know I’m right here right?

MC: Yeah, and you started the insulting first, and plus, I said you were the funniest, take credit where it’s given, dumbass.

*moment of pause*

MC: I’m sorry I called you dumbass...

Mammon: Oh you’re so kind, Enn, I’m so grateful to be your demon. *Fake Smile™️*

MC: Well now I’m not sorry Yeager Sarcastic.

#obey me #one master to rule them all #one master to abridge them all #abridged #abridged series #obey me main character #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me comedy #comedy skit #i love them all #i love these bois #i hope you enjoy #rated: pg13

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #283

“if teardrops could be bottled, there’d be swimming pools filled by models”

How much would you tip a waiter or waitress for good service? I honestly don’t even know the proper etiquette of tipping because I almost never ever have been in a sit-down restaurant where I’ve paid because of the whole “I don’t have an income” thing. If for whatever reason I did, I would have asked the person with me how. I do (maybe…) believe however that there should be a baseline for how much you tip, even if your experience is somewhat unpleasant. You don’t know what that person is going through that day. If it’s just pure awful, then I might not tip at all, but I think I’d honestly feel way too guilty. Who is your favorite character from the television sitcom Friends? I don’t watch it. Whose name might you have tattooed on your body? None. Well, I guess if I had hypothetical kids, I might, especially as a tribute if they died. What is something that you always need to leave plugged in? I always at least have my laptop charger plugged into the wall, but not always into my computer as to not totally kill the battery. I just need it a lot because I’m only always on it. Who might you send a selfie to? I don’t send them to anyone, really, save for specific occasions. I just take selfies once in a blue moon to change my Facebook picture, honestly. I feel weird just sending people pictures of me because I feel like I’m screaming, “HEY LOOK AND COMPLIMENT ME!!!!!!!!!”, so it makes me uncomfortable. I only did semi-recently because my friend did my makeup for a Halloween shoot and for once in my goddamn life I felt really pretty so sent it to Sara. Name an item in or on your bed every night. My phone is on the right upper corner of my bed so I can check it when I wake up; I always wake up throughout the night and wanna know what time it is. Out of your work shift, how much time do you spend doing “actual work”? Well one, define “actual work,” but odds are almost zero because I don’t have shit to do. How long do your New Years resolutions typically last? I don’t make ‘em. Who would you call first after getting engaged to tell them the news? Most likely Mom. What’s the song that reminds you of the person you like?Okay so deadass I listened to NSP’s “Wish You Were Here” cover recently and kinda cried lol. Are you good at holding back your tears? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? My goddamn sanity. How many jobs do you have? None. Do you have any memories you want to erase? There’s one occasion with Jason I wish I could forget so, so badly. Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? No. I don’t believe in pre-determined destinies and such, and thus I don’t see anything as “meant” and “not meant” to be. Do you believe in destiny? Wow, good timing lmao. Do you believe that things will get better? I like to think so. Have you ever drunk dialed someone? No. Have you ever worn a tiara? Haha, I think on my 18th birthday maybe, my friend Summer came with us to dinner and brought me a birthday tiara. If someone offered to take you out for your birthday, where would you decide to go? I almost always go to Olive Garden for dinner. But, after trying the Cheesecake Factory for the first time… *eyes emoji* If you plan to have kids, what will you tell them about Santa Clause? I’m not having kids, but hypothetically, I’d let them believe it. It’s so magical as a kid and brings so much excitement. I’d tell them the truth when it feels appropriate, and if I know they’re not the type to go telling other kids for no reason “HEY MY MOM SAID SANTA’S NOT REAL SO UR DUMB.” I’d be damned if they ruined it for other children. If you have ever been employed, have you ever been attracted to your boss? What about a co-worker? Not that I remember. Do [would] you avoid kissing your [possibly hypothetical] significant other when you or they are ill? Look man I made out with my ex while he was recovering from bronchitis before we knew it wasn’t contagious so OOPS yeah because I am 110% the “if you’re sick, I’m sick” dumbass all the while going FULL Mom Mode taking care of the person. What was the last thing you bought, other than food? With my own money, that is a daaaamn good question. I only really use it/am given it for food. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? Do you know what that person is doing at this moment? My mom. She’s in the living room watching TV, probably. Think back to the last time you cried, or felt like crying. Who or what helped you to feel better? My mom. Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? No, they don’t appeal to me. Is there someone of the opposite sex that knows everything, or almost everything, about you? I would say Jason, but we haven’t seen or spoken to each other for almost four years, and I’m a much different person by now, and I’m sure he is, too. Do you remember the last time you cried because you missed someone? A few weeks back I had a breakdown over Jason again. My PTSD was and still is being pretty rough lately. Are your eyes the same color as your sibling(s)? Just my brother. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents, or someone else? No. What’s your most noticeable flaw? Thinking about it, probably my extreme aversion to conflict. I will BOLT from confrontation. And what’s your best feature? I’m extremely empathetic. Have you ever hallucinated? Yeah; I would see shadows move when I was coming off a certain med. Do you have fangirl-ish tendencies? ………………. Have you ever replied “OK” when someone confessed they liked you? Wow, no. Either admit reciprocated feelings or gently turn them down. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles? OHHHHHHHH BUDDY. Led Zeppelin, I think… but maybe the Stones. Idk. What would you do for immortality and infinite youth? Nothing. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub? A pool. Is your handwriting legible? Yes. Well, some people find it slightly difficult because it’s kinda fancy. Have you ever held a baby chick? Yes! Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting? I’m not a fan. Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs? No. What did you last get upset about? How incredibly fuckin weak my body is. When is the last time you personally made someone else cry? I don’t know. How many more people do you think you’ll kiss before you die? Hopefully only one. I do NOT want to deal with anymore heartbreak, nor do I want to waste anymore time with someone I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with. Are you more spiritual or religious? Spiritual. Ever been to a rave? Nooooo, most definitely not my scene. Are you afraid to name the person you talk the most shit about? No. Song playing right now? I’m listening to “PRESIDENT X” by 3TEETH rn. Have you ever laughed at someone because they had a funny name? No, that’s incredibly rude. Speaking of names, why do celebrities always call their kids stupid ones? They’re not all “stupid”…? There are some beautiful names I’ve heard. It’s none of my business why others’ children are named what they are. Do you get car sick easily? I don’t. Do you think you’re a good conversationalist? Why is that? NO. I’m just awkward and don’t know what to talk about or what to say back to people a lot. Awhile back though my friend Ian told me I was actually a really nice one and it meant a LOT to me. Hearing someone say that reassured me a little bit. Have you ever been on a float in a parade? What were you doing on it? No. Have you ever been in a helicopter? No. Have you ever had chicken pox? No. Who is your favorite animated character? Oh boy that’s hard man, idk. Maybe Ninetales, at least aesthetically. Idk about as characters themselves. Is it easy to make you gag? Yeah. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Scar. Would you rather have a pet crocodile or a pet octopus? I deadass kinda want a caiman lol. It’s something I doubt I’ll actually do, though. Do you like Ritz crackers? Yeah. Do you have any designer clothing? If so what brand? No. Were you afraid of the dark when you were little? Not very, no. What are your opinions on war in general? It’s fucking awful and could be avoided if people weren’t so goddamn hasty, selfish, and uncompromising, among many other adjectives. Do you like pretzels? Yessss, especially soft ones. Have you ever wanted to be a writer? Yeah, tons of times in my life on-and-off. Did you even vote? This is the very first year I actually did. I felt really bad for not acting, only complaining about my government, and “silence speaks” was heavy on my head. Did some research to educate myself, and I felt amazing afterwards. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Usually watermelon. Are you wearing any bandaids? If so, where and why? No. Do you currently have any bruises on you? No. Do you/did you like or dislike school? I always hated it. Are you currently wearing any lotion? No. Do you ever make recipes found online? What was the last one? I don’t cook, so… but there sure are some that look good. If you smoke weed, what do you usually do after you get high? If you don’t, what would you do if everyone around you were smoking? I never have, so I wouldn’t know. Haha, for the second half, sit there awkwardly… been there once. What’s the last thing you ordered online? The next Wings of Fire book. Starting Sunny’s story now. Tell me about your favorite dress. I had this spring dress in high school that was white with purple skulls on it in a floral design… It was really cute and just has a special memory tied to it. Have you ever slept in a waterbed? If so, what was it like? Yeah, that used to be considered “fun” as a kid. They’re not awful, but not that comfortable either, and if I remember well, it’s easy to get sweaty because of the material. How many floors does your house have? Just one. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Yes. Do you enjoy sappy love songs? Hell yeah I do. Do you ever buy the same shirt in different colors? Simple tank tops, yeah. Ever made out on a rooftop? Damn dude no I’d be paranoid of falling off lmao. One place you will never eat at? Arby’s. If someone went through your pictures, would they find a "bad" one? Nope.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

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brandoncarlo · 5 years ago

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Hockey Horoscopes

March 21st - April 19th - The Captain

at the end of the day The Captain only has one job that’s written down -- talking to the ref. Don’t like a penalty? Don’t like a missed penalty? don’t agree with a no goal call? well you literally can’t change their mind because it’s almost against the rules for the refs to do so, but you get to be the one to yell at them about it anyway. Are you actually a good leader? maybe. but it doesn’t matter. for you it’s about yelling. and making sure the rookies have their names written on their lunchboxes.

April 20th - May 20th - The Selke Winner

A player who wins the Selke will always be underrated. They could win the Hart and they’d still be underrated. Why? Because they fucking score and play defense? literally no other type of player does this. Is being relied on like this stressful as hell? sure but someone’s gotta do it. In some ways you enjoy it. Yeah it kind of sucks but at least if you’re doing it, you can try not to fuck up. No one else is trustworthy enough.

May 21 - June 20 - Trade Bait

A lot of the time the team doesn’t even want to trade you they just really want a first round pick and your name gets stapled to whatever package is being sent for it. Which team will you be on next month? who knows but jerseys are really expensive and you pretty much have all of them at this point, that’s just good economics. Someone who is trade bait has inherent value that’s proven over and over again but this can end up making you feel more like a possession than a person and you constantly struggle with your identity and your concept of personhood because of it.

June 21 - July 22 - The Bro

Summers are for fishing, golfing, dogs, and posting shirtless pics to instagram. Can real life have homo erotic subtext? ask the picture you posted at 5 am this morning of you messily hanging over another player on someone’s boat. Some think you don’t take your work seriously but of course you do because how else would you buy all your snapbacks? They’re not cheap these days. Do you bank on people finding your personality overexaggerated and a little fake as a way to keep them from knowing and therefore judging the real you? Probably. but hey, you’ve only been traded twice for off ice conduct and you haven’t had a scandal in three months. you’re doing fine.

July 23rd - August 22 - Good Ol’ Canadian Boy

Remember that time you yelled at an old lady in the grocery store? Doesn’t matter cause literally no body else does. You’re good boy image has done that for you. All you gotta do is say the same three things in every interview and all the 40-80 year olds who watch hockey will love you and at the end of the day, that’s 90% of people who watch hockey so you’re good. Does your lack of individuality and the constant pressure for you to be The Savior wear on you and cause you to make impulsive and stupid decisions? Oh for sure, but no one will hold it against you. or maybe they will. Your life is kind of just like an exciting game of reputation roulette.

August 23rd - September 22nd - 4th Line Enforcer

No one has to ask you to bloody your knuckles for your team, you’ll do it any day of the week. Your teammates all love you, they fetch your food and drinks for you. They clean up your locker for you and your goalie even lets you score during practice. You just can’t shake the feeling though that people do nice things for you as part of a transaction where you pay them back by beating the shit out of any guy that takes a run at them. You protecting those you’re closets with is of utmost importance, and you know they appreciate it. But you also know at the end of the day loyalty can only go so far and when it comes time for your GM to trim the fat off the salary cap, you’re first to go. but hey, during your first game back that rookie you took under your wing who’s now a full grown man will make eye contact with you, and for a split second you’ll remember why all of this was all worth it.

September 23rd - October 22nd - The Lone American

Maybe you’re patriotic or maybe you couldn’t give a shit but the truth remains that you are alone on a team in the middle of Alberta with 99% canadians. Your only confidant is your finnish d partner and the video review coach’s assistant, Jeremy, who just graduated from UMich and even he says “about” funny. Because of this you take every opportunity to repeat the miracle monologue and you insist on stopping at every dunkin donuts you come within a 50 mile radius from. You’re not used to being the odd man out but now that you are, you find that you are almost regretfully being proud of something you previously didn’t connect with. Did you know all the lyrics to the anthem before? nope but now you do if only to sing along loudly enough to piss off everyone else on the team plane wondering why you’re standing in the aisle with your hand over your heart. You may need to stop defining yourself by the things that make you different from others, before you sever the bonds completely. Until then, do you believe in Miracles? YES!

October 23rd - November 21st - The Rat

The Commish has you on speed dial and your coach made a soundboard so they didn’t lose their voice yelling at you all game. You spend your free time studying the greats, the founding fathers of trash talk. Being the one everyone loves to hate has become so much your identity that you may forget every now and then that you’re not just an entertainer, you’re a person. In between making cooing noises at opponents and criticizing hair cuts of your teammates try to say one genuine thing. Just at all. Before you lose yourself entirely in the persona.

November 22nd - December 21st - Second Line Centre

Sure people usually follow up your name by saying “...makes how much?” but you’re worth it goddamnit. Not everyone lead the league in playoff goals in the 2014 season even though your team didn’t win that year RIP. Despite doing your best at every turn you never can seem to really please anyone. You’re stuck in the shadow of someone you consider a life long friend and have to constantly surround yourself with good people and good words to not grow to resent your space. Those who like you, like you for your easiness and your work ethic. But remember, there’s nothing wrong with an over celebration and patting yourself on the back every now and then.

December 22nd - January 19th - The Vet

Welcome to the big leagues kid, work hard and you may find a home here... is what you usually say to others when they enter your locker room. You care and you take things seriously because that’s just the right thing to do. But you also can realize the importance of real life over a game you play for money. Your head is on your shoulders and you have a life time experience under your belt and you aren’t even 50 yet. So that’s pretty cool. But as one chapter ends and another begins, don’t forget what excitement and exhilaration feel like.

January 20th - February 18th - The University Graduate

Sure a lot of your teammates went to school, the american ones mostly, but almost none of them actually got their degree. Why should they? they’re making bank. Unfortunately for them but mostly you, they’re all fucking dumb jock meatheads and make fun of you for reading. You only got your Bachelor’s with a straight B average, but these guys make you feel like you got your PhD when you were 17. “You went to Harvard?” They ask in awe, as if you didn’t get in solely on your athletics scholarship. Try not to let your own academic success get to your head though, Kindness and compassion are a lot more valuable in the long run and you’d be surprised by what dumbass jocks have to say. or probably not. but i’m trying to make a point about how academia does not equal = intelligence. to again make another point about how when we’re surrounded by people with different values than us we may begin to feel superior when really we should take the opportunity to learn from them as much as they learn from us. this is all fun and games folks.

February 19th - March 20th - Almost Joined a Punk Band

None of your tattoos are lions or include your own last name/family crest, you’re too original for that. As a kid you used to dream of being on a stage more than you dreamed of raising the stanley cup, but hey in world juniors you scored an OT goal and got to play air guitar as your celly so it’s kind of the same thing. Your parents were iffy about you playing a sport with the same type of kids who would have bullied you in high school but you stand on your own. But you made friends by teaching your teammates how to play the guitar. So sure you’re the odd man out but people like you. and you know what it’s like to be judged, so your open minded attitude draws people to you naturally. Just make sure you don’t trust too much because that open and creative attitude can turn into you being jaded, washed up, and wishing you actually did join a punk band insted.

#nhl #horoscopes #zodiac signs #listen are most of these based off of my OCs more than actual hockey players? yes #is that a problem? maybe #I also made my own birthday the one i wouldn't like #not on purpose it just #*fit* so don't #accuse me of making your birthday specifically bad #because i played myself first and foremost #mine

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kiyokoks · 5 years ago

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50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

i was tagged by @baqukou so let’s do this !!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? my main one is purple but i have a yellow wet brush for after i shower :P

2. Name a food you never eat? olives !! i can’t stand them, every time i get a beef empanada i personally stick my fingers inside and pull the olive out

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm! i get hot super easily i’m like an overpowered space heater

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? playing animal crossing: new horizons on my switch lite !! i laid down the construction for the river bridge and am trying to build three new houses for arriving villagers :))

5. What is your favorite candy bar? it’s not from canada so i can’t always have it but from peru aka where my mom is from but the white chocolate sublime bar w nuts !!! it’s so good i ration my candy from the motherland

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yea! in jr high aside from playing basketball, i qualified for the edmonton public schools zones sports fest for running, though i can’t remember which dash in particular

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “voya ir a me cuarto” aka im going to go to my room in spanish to my mom

8. What is your favorite ice cream? mint chocolate chip! i love the sweet but spearmint taste

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee with sugar and almond milk

10. Do you like your wallet? yes !! it’s a white coach wallet my mom bought me when we went to calgary cross iron mills mall it’s super cute

11. What was the last thing you ate? quesadillas for breakfast bc they’re easy to cook (i’m lactose intolerant but some things are worth the abdominal pain!!)

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i got two new shirts i ordered online from hot topic !! one of them is a black my hero academia heroes rising movie poster shirt, and one is a yellow bakugou t-shirt

13. The last sporting event you watched? the haikyuu!! season 3 shiratorizawa match

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? caramel omg my mom makes the best caramel popcorn with nuts

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend ally !! she let me visit her island yesterday to chop trees for that last bit of softwood i needed for timmy and tommy’s shop

16. Ever go camping? yea! my jr high had an annual fall camping trip for 3 days where we’d hang out and play games at night it was awesome i actually miss it a lot

17. Do you take vitamins? yea lmao my mom always worries that i’m not eating well and need vitamins

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? i used to, but now i have a shift in the morning at w*rk every sunday so nope not anymore

19. Do you have a tan? you bet! my mom is from peru but she’s kinda light-skinned (by south american standards) but my dad is from el salvador and is VERY brown skinned so i have a very obvious brown tan all year round bc genetics !! it’s obvs darker in the summer tho

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food all the way babeyyy !! dim sum is so fucking good i could never give it up, i even had my 18th birthday at a chinese hot pot restaurant w all of my homegirls

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? nope lolol i think i did once or twice at like a party

22. What color socks do you usually wear? usually pink or purple

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t drive but if i did i wouldn’t i hate reckless drivers so fucking much

24. What terrifies you? needles and gory medical procedures !! i remember when i watched the 100 and one of the season finales where they extract bone marrow was rough for me to watch i screamed very quietly

25. Look to your left, what do you see? im sitting down at my desk so my switch lite

26. What chore do you hate? laundry bc if u fuck it up there’s real consequences

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i have to hold myself back from laughing it’s so funny

28. What’s your favorite soda? another thing from the motherland but inca cola !! it’s kinda hard to find but when i do get it ohhh my goddd

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus? typically im hanging out w my friends when i get fast food so yea we go inside

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my mami

31. Favorite cut of beef? tendon!! it’s so fucking good in Vietnamese pho i sometimes pay for extra

32. Last song you listened to? boy with luv (feat. halsey) by bts

33. Last book you read? does fic count ?? bc if so chapter 28 of the devil ships zeku on ao3

34. Favorite day of the week? monday !! bc no w*rk and it’s the start of a new week

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? god nope nope no i don’t have the brain cells

36. How do you like your coffee? with sugar and almond milk though idk how much sugar i just kinda match it with the amount of instant coffee whoops

37. Favorite pair of shoes? my red timberland boots !! they go with everything i wear and are super comfy for a long day at uni, plus they can take any kind of weather (this sounds like a sales pitch lmfaoofhf)

38. The time you normally go to sleep? pre-quarantine was like 10:30PM since i had to wake up at 5 to get ready in time for my mom to drop me off at the bus stop for my 8AM classes but quarantine bedtime is more like 1AM now

39. The time you normally get up? usually around 7am or 8am, but for w*rk on the weekends around 6am

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets!! they’re so pretty to look at

41. How many blankets on your bed? four !! i sleep with four blankets at night so i’m ultra warm

42. Describe your kitchen plates: hmmm well they’re white with a nice flower pattern, but we also have some tiny plain white ones and then some multicoloured plastic ones

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? well i don’t like alcohol in general but the one time i did try it w my friends at a restaurant it was kinda sweet so that was nice

44. Do you play cards? kind of ?? if someone brings a pack of cards im down but i never carry any myself

45. What color is your car? i don’t have a car but black would be nice

46. Can you change a tire? nope i don’t drive and on top of that i’m a dumbass HOWEVER if i do get a car i will learn how to !!

47. Your favorite province? British Columbia bc they don’t have dumbass, oil loving, neo-con war hawk fuckwits like we do here in alberta

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? i pretty much hate my job with everything that is inside me but doing online grocery delivery has almost no customer interaction so i like that

49. How did you get your biggest scar? hmmm well i have one on my left ankle from when i sprained it by being a dumbass and trying to ballet spin on my slippery kitchen floor with socks on but other than that i have no scars

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? i let my little sister play on my switch lite for a bit with a different game and i helped my mom with her virtual farm on her ipad

thanks for tagging me !! feel free to do this if u want but im gonna take @thebakuboy @bakugobinch @detectivejigsawpines and @noticemedeku

#tagged in #THIS WAS RLLY FUN !! i love answering questions this was great #as u can see im a simple creature ... my wants and needs are not complex

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reallylonglies · 5 years ago

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Taylor Swift - Demon Hunter : Part 4

Blake was exhausted. She had work. She had kids to chase around. She had a husband. She didn’t have time to pass messages between a demon and a lightning rod like they were in a really messed up fifth grade class.

She stomped down the stairs to Taylor’s gym. It was quiet there when Taylor was touring and she needed some time to get a little work done. She found a semi-comfortable seat and began to leaf through a script she’d been sent. It was quiet and cool in the gym, and the script was actually good enough that she found herself engrossed. An hour passed before she realised she wasn’t alone.

There was a faint hum in the air and a warm, spiced scent. She slipped the script into her bag, took off her earrings and readied herself for a fight. Only two people had the combination code for the door, but all that meant was that whatever was in here definitely wasn’t a person. Tucking her hair into a neat ponytail, she called into the darkness.

“You can come out now, she’s not here. Just little old me,” her voice echoed, the comfortable cool of the gym had become spine-tingling chill. She felt the air moving around her.

“A breeze in a basement,” she muttered to herself, “Happy Tuesday to me.”

Suddenly, it was in front of her. She sensed it before she saw it. Every inch of her body told her to run and never look back. From experience, she knew that this was the most important time to stay completely still and focussed. The discomfort she was feeling began to take shape in front of her. Despite her thudding heart, she found herself rolling her eyes at the over-dramatic process of manifestation. She really didn’t have time for this shit, even if it was scaring the living daylights out of her. She needed those living daylights to get through the rest of her busy life.

After a minute or so of overdramatic swirling, the spirit manifested in front of her. She’d never seen anything like it. Except she had, she’d seen something exactly like it, but she’d never seen that thing manifest in front of her. Taylor usually just entered the room through a door, not as a swirling cloud of vapour.

“If you’re trying to convince me you’re my friend, you’ve already made several mistakes,” she said, sounding nonchalant is second nature when you’ve spent as many years in teen dramas as Blake had.

“I’m not trying to trick you,” it said, it’s voice was not right either. Taylor had a human voice, this was a low growl with a rasping quality that made Blake want to dive for a packet of vocal zones.

“What do you want?” Blake asked, slowly moving her hand up her back, between her shoulder blades. She grasped the handle of the small dagger she kept there, and silently thanked Gal Gadot for inspiring this little trick.

With unseeing eyes, the spirit tilted its head at her. The eyes roamed up and down Blake’s whole body as if they had never been set on a human being before.

“She took my friend, put her in a song,” the figure circled Blake, Blake concealed the dagger behind her wrist.

“What are you doing?” she asked it as it passed behind her, when it stood in front of her, she took a sharp breath.

“Learning,” the word escaped from Blake’s lips in Blake’s voice. Staring in horror at the uncanny figure before her, the real Blake stifled a scream. She slashed with the dagger at the demon, who dodged, then looked down at her own right hand. It revealed its identical dagger. The stifled scream became a roar of frustration. Blake threw herself into battle for the first time in over a decade.

*****

I don’t attend awards ceremonies as a rule. There’s enough awful people there, I don’t need to add any more malice to the mix. I once had to find one of my old apprentices at the Oscars, the stench in that room… it was like garbage, emotional garbage. Everyone in there has so much hanging on a little golden statue. And people mock me for my crucifix intolerance.

I sensed almost instantly that something bad had happened to Blake. I don’t know what gave it away. Was it something she said? Something she did? The fact that she had obviously been replaced by a powerful fallen angel out for vengeance?

One of those things definitely set my alarm bells ringing when I went to her with a message for Taylor. Fallen angels are honestly the worst because if you bump into one unprepared they can do a lot of damage. They can stop you manifesting, give you a headache or in this case they can force you to possess the husband of a good friend against your will.

She gestured to him, cowering gently in a corner.

“Get in,” she said, she’d really nailed the voice.

I have to tell you inhabiting a human host is gross enough but this guy had only recently been exorcised and whatever slovenly spirit he’d been possessed by did not clean up after itself. Anxieties everywhere. Nightmares left unfinished. The guy even left an existential crisis just lying around for me to trip up on. What a hack.

We so rarely talk about what it feels like to possess someone, allow me to describe it. It’s a little like tapping into a phone line except the phone line is the person’s physical presence in the mortal dimension. Unfortunately, the host is still using the phone line so you get a live feed of all their thoughts, and this guy was a big thinker. A lot going on in his mind. Gave me a migraine almost instantly.

Walking the red carpet, I saw Taylor at a distance. Unfortunately there was no way for me to signal to her in front of that many photographers. I didn’t want to risk the exposure of the entire demon realm over something so small as a potential apocalypse. Also, any time that a person is working hard to perform the act of “being myself” it is actually surprisingly difficult for an incumbent Demon to take over. They’re too conscious of everything, all their boundaries are up. It’s sticky and gross and I hate it.

Fallen angels love, love having their pictures taken. Ever seen those old-timey exorcism pictures? All that ectoplasm shit? Fallen angels, they love to showboat. As soon as they get in front of a camera they have to show off. If you look at any pictures of Blake from this awards ceremony, you might be able to see the image warping a little at the edges, or get a chill when you look at her eyes.

So anyway, the red carpet probably was simultaneously the best and worst place to attract Taylor’s attention. Demon Blake was distracted having her picture taken. Great. Stupid human host Ryan was on his best “being myself” behaviour. Not great.

As luck would have it, my host needed the bathroom. Admittedly, I had spent the entire afternoon making him thirsty in the hope that this would give me the out I needed. Slipping through the crowd, he passed Taylor and I pushed myself to the top of his psyche so that she couldn’t fail to hear my tune blaring out over the shouts of journalists and photographers.

Her eye met Ryan’s and she filled with fiery rage. I fist bumped, there was no way she could ignore this.

She stormed into the bathroom while my host was washing his hands. Another insignificant human squealed at her, she swore at him and he left in a panic. It wasn’t classy. I loved it.

“You,” she fixed me with her hardest stare, “get out.”

“You’re blocking the door. I’m also really not sure you’re meant to be in here. This is the men’s room and you’re not a men,” Ryan’s babbling continued until he looked in the mirror above the sink and saw my face beaming back at him, “Oh God, not again, how does this keep happening to me? Do I have a possess me sign on my back?”

He was still chattering as I drifted gently away from his feeble human body and manifested next to him.

“Wait why is he wearing a tux, do demons wear tuxes?” he asked.

“No,” I said, “It’s a special occasion I wanted to look nice. Do you always wear a tux, dumbass?”

“No,” he asked, “Why do you look like John Mulaney?”

“It’s a passing resemblance, why do you look like Picasso’s biggest mistake?”

Taylor interrupted our vocal sparring by aggressively grabbing me by my bowtie. I had manifested too solidly for that not to hurt.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked, twisting the bowtie tighter.

I made some garbled gasping sounds, she relented and loosened her grip.

“Blake… fallen angel… very bad… big event… tonnes of demons…” partly I was getting my breath back, partly I preferred talking in bullet points.

“How many?” she asked, taking a series of silver rings out of her garter and slipping them onto her fingers.

“Sevent…” I deliberately mumbled the second half of the word.

“Seventeen? That’s not so many,” she shrugged, I made a guilty face “Oh, seventy, that’s many, a lot of many. Is there anyone we can call?”

Zendaya was out on a film shoot somewhere. Aniston was retired. Dunst had a lifetime ban because of the Bettany fiasco. I racked my brains.

The door opened. Two figures in black suits appeared.

“Miss Swift, pleased to meet you, we’ve heard a lot about you,” the one that spoke had a gentle accent and dreamy eyes, the other one was Keanu Reeves.

“It seems you have a bit of a situation on your hands,” Reeves answered, “How can we be of service?”

Taylor looked taken aback. I looked taken aback. Ryan looked deeply confused.

“What the hell is going on? Why is Neo here with this tennis player? Are we giving Golden Globes to tennis players now?” these were all logical questions.

“This must be confusing for you,” with perfectly applied pressure from his palm, Reeves gently put Ryan to sleep. The other guy caught the body and slid it under the sink, where they kept the hand towels and soap refills. Watching these two work together, stirred a memory in me, something from an impossibly long time ago.

“Holy shit,” I said, “You’re Reeves and Federer.”

“Who else would we be?” Federer asked as he arranged some hand towels under Ryan’s head to make him more comfortable.

“Wait, the Reeves and Federer?” Taylor chimed in, “I thought they were from like, the 18th century.”

“We are,” they answered in unison.

Reeves and Federer: immortal vampires. I couldn’t believe they were still around, which in hindsight felt particularly foolish. They were immortal vampires, of course they were still around.

“Alright,” Taylor and I didn’t have time to fangirl the way I wanted to over these two absolute heroes of the dark world, “I have a plan for this but it’s going to take a lot of work. What weapons are we working with?”

Reeves and Federer opened their jackets. I gasped audibly.

“What do you need?”

******

Blake woke in the gym, her hands were tied to a leg press machine. She rolled her eyes, and without even flinching, dislocated her thumb to break out of her bonds. She sighed, popped her thumb back in and straightened her dress.

“Fallen angels,” she muttered, collecting her handbag, “Amateurs.”

*****

Demon Blake waited for the ceremony to begin before starting her big show. The sound system began to crackle and pop like a nervous bowl of rice krispies. The host apologised for technical difficulties. The technical team shook their heads in confusion.

The lights went out. A room full of expensive people gasped expensively in shock.

“Silence,” a voice throbbed from the center of the room. Blake had risen to her feat and was glowing blue in the darkness, “Stand.”

A bunch of bozos in suits stood up. Taylor sighed, we were concealed behind a thick velvet curtain.

“There are so many,” she whispered, “Reeves and Federer had better remember the plan. Are you ready for it?”

“I was hewn ready,” I replied. It was a lie, if I was physically capable of wetting myself I would have done.

“Ew, that’s gross,” she answered as we watched Demon Blake rise into the centre of the room. I get telepathic when I get nervous.

There was a shuffling sound behind us, Taylor turned, instantly ready for a fight. Blake, the real one, not the floating ball of demonic rage, appeared from the shadows.

“Hey,” she smiled, “What did I miss?”

“Oh, nothing, just that your demon twin is trying to take over the world,” Taylor answered as Blake rummaged in her handbag and changed her heels for comfortable pumps.

“So, just another Tuesday then,” she answered, “Where do you want me?”

“The tech desk, I need you to raise the curtain when Reeves and Federer give the signal,” Taylor kept her eyes pinned on demon Blake, who was now floating through the audience monologuing about mortals heeding her will or something. Typical fallen angel garbage, these guys are 80% propaganda.

“Wait,” Blake paused on her way to the tech desk which was hidden at the back of the room, “The Reeves and Federer? I thought they were a myth.”

“Yeah, me too. Now it makes sense that John Wick looks so fighting fit at fifty,” Taylor gestured that Blake should hurry, the possessed hordes were beginning to bar the doors.

Just as the tension in the room mounted to a peak, there was a loud shout from a balcony above the stage.

“Hey, crazy demon!” the words were less than poetry, but they sounded so good in a swiss accent, “Possess this!”

He threw what looked like, but certainly wasn’t a tennis ball into the air, jumped and served. The point blank blow knocked demon Blake out of the air, she crashed dramatically into a table surrounded by influential aged filmmakers.

It occurred to me suddenly that I had no idea where he’d been hiding that tennis racket.

Taylor was still biding her time, she made her way towards the center of the stage, behind the curtain.

Reeves had made his way to the middle of the room, gently bringing protective posessees to their knees on the way. It was good that he was used to hurting people without actually hurting people, that was working in our favour.

Demon Blake saw him coming and aimed a bolt of lightning squarely at his chest. He dodged it, letting Quentin Tarantino take the hit. Boy howdy he was going to have a headache when he woke up.

Federer had climbed athletically down from the balcony and was approaching Demon Blake from behind, apologising courteously as he elbowed his way through the crowd.

Reeves cricked his neck as Demon Blake moved towards him, real fire blazing in her eyes.

I’ve rarely engaged in hand to hand combat with a fallen angel. In fact, I would go so far as to say I have never in fact engaged in hand to hand combat with a fallen angel. It’s risky, and hard, plus in high stress situations I have a habit of turning into a cloud of greasy smoke so it’s difficult to keep up with the “hand to hand” thing. With that for context, let me tell you that I was impressed with how long Reeves held out.

First she came for him with a left hook.

He caught her fist in his and forced her backwards.

She burst into flames and he was almost incinerated.

Stumbling backwards, he pulled a chair out from under a possessed Jude Law and shattered it.

He struck out with a chair leg and clocked her across the face.

At this point she lost control and contorted briefly into her true shape, horns, wings and all.

Taylor motioned to me to move to the orchestra pit. My part of the plan was, though I say myself, a big challenge. I was being very brave. Landing in the pit I centred myself and extended a telepathic field across all of the musicians.

Just as I got the last flautist under control, I heard Reeves and Federer give the signal. It was meant to be “now” but it came as a slightly garbled scream somewhere in the vicinity of now.

Luckily Blake got the message and the curtain on the stage rose. I connected myself with Taylor, a conduit for her to control the orchestra. She let out a single, incredible note. Demon Blake turned, dropping both Reeves and Federer to the floor.

“You,” the Demon floated towards Taylor at an alarming pace.

Taylor replied with a low hum, the orchestra started up, perfectly in tune under her control.

“You hid my friend in that stupid song,” the demon had dropped its Blake disguise in its fury. Fallen angels, not pretty. Would not recommend this as a Halloween costume.

Taylor started the song, the orchestra was building with her. I’d never heard this one before, it was incredible.

The angel was uncomfortable, its tune was hiding under the verses, woven tightly into the chorus, but it fought back. Blue lightning flew out of its hands towards Taylor. She dodged, rolled and didn’t miss a line of her song.

The Angel looked upwards as it began to weaken under the intensity of the music. Taylor nodded at me, as we had planned, I extended the telepathic field to include everyone in the room. Hundreds of voices raised in unison and the fallen angel writhed and glowed with pale fire.

Reeves and Federer gazed up at the demon, Blake’s eyes were fixed on Taylor as she fought her greatest battle. In an explosion of fire and fury the fallen angel dissolved. The song came to an end, Taylor fell to her knees on the stage. Silence fell across the room, followed by a low whooshing sound as if a gale was blowing through the building. Seventy demons evacuated their influential hosts, eager to escape the wrath of the most powerful lightning rod they had ever seen.

More silence, then Reeves clapping, Federer joining him, Blake whooping - the whole room erupted with applause.

She stood, shakily. Smiled the same smile she had on her face the first time she vanquished a level five fire demon, and bowed.

As the applause died down, and I began gently wiping the memories of everyone in attendance. Taylor had a sudden flash of memory, she turned to Federer, who was folding napkins and straightening cutlery.

“Did you leave Ryan locked in an under-sink cupboard?”

“Oh, shit, yes,” he looked at Blake with panic in his eye. She was tucking into a tray of canapes.

“Leave him there, it’ll be good for him,” she said, through a mouthful of salmon puffs, “I’ll get him out in an hour.”

#Taylor Swift #demon hunter #buffy #fanfic #blake lively #ryan reynolds #keanu reeves #roger federer #fan fiction #spooky #serial #finale #john wick #reputation taylor #reputation #writing

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shsl-nishishi-blog · 6 years ago

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Please Believe Victims!

Something that people don't seem to understand is that it's extremely difficult to prove sexual assault. Everyone being like "bUt WhErE iS tHe PrOoF?!" doesn't seem to understand that. The fact that there was even SOME pictures of people clearly looking uncomfortable in his embrace is honestly more proof than a lot of people usually have when trying to prove sexual assault. And the fact that there's a lot of people saying things, their stories, is another thing. I've never had any experience with Vic. I've met him once, he gave me off vibes, that was it. BUT I want to talk about my own experience being sexually assaulted, and I want to explain why it's so difficult to prove. Again, this is not a Vic story. I don't want to say the name of this person. I'm not comfortable saying his name publicly. He knows a lot of people in the anime community and cosplay community. He knows very popular cosplayers, he's friends with people who staff/run conventions. No, he's not some famous guy. His following isn't giant, but he just knows a lot of important people. That aside, here we go. I met this guy when I was 17, and I finally cut ties with him a bit after my 21st birthday. We met at a cosplay gathering, I was cosplaying Jin from Blazblue. He approached me because he knew of Blazblue, and we were having a nice chat about it. I barely knew this guy, but man I was super delighted to meet a fellow Blazblue fan. I don't exactly remember who he was cosplaying, but I'm 90% sure it was Xemnas from Kingdom Hearts. I also want to mention I believe he was 21 or 22 at the time; so an adult. Nothing uncomfortable happened, until we were all called for group photos. All the cosplayers at the gathering went over for photos, us included. A bit after the photos, when we were more alone (one of my friends was also there), he grabbed my ass. And not just once, a few times. He spanked me too. I didn't really know what to do, I was surprised, terrified, I looked clearly uncomfortable, but I really didn't say anything. I kinda just pretended it didn't happen. I really hoped I'd never see this guy again, but I kept seeing him at cosplay gatherings. There was one gathering around Christmas that same year, I was in my really shitty magnemite gijinka cosplay, and he just kept spanking me so many times. I told him to stop at that point. Not only was it uncomfortable, but it hurt, it startled me each time too. I don't like getting startled. He started to pout and act like he should be pitted, and it genuinely made me angry. I tried to avoid a lot of gatherings for a bit, but then there was this Homestuck one my friend and I went to. I was never into Homestuck, but we just decided to go. I went as Sougo from Gintama, but in a kigurumi (since my full cosplay didn't arrive yet). And that guy was there, so was his girlfriend (who btw was underage at the time). For a good amount of the gathering, he was okay. I thought "yeah, maybe he's finally gonna stop." We all hung out because we didn't really fit in with the Homestucks. A bit later on in the gathering, he had his hand behind my back, and he was trying to sneakily undo my bra strap. Thank god I caught him + thank god I was wearing ace bandages for binding (NOTE: don't use ace bandages to bind!). So like :/ He also would message me on facebook, and I was scared.. So I put myself in a relationship with a fictional character (Gray Fullbuster, because I used to be mad thirsty for him). That didn't work for obvious reasons, so I turned my chat off, so it looked like I was offline. >> obviously...didn't work.. After that gathering, I'd see him at cons. Thank GOD at least that one year, he was busy running around. I didn't have to deal with him. My friend's birthday came around, and I guess he was invited or something. I don't 100% remember everything from that day, but I was cosplaying gijinka shaymin. After the birthday gathering, we went over to Ihop (might have been Denny's, but they're super similar so). And he sat next to me (of course). I was put in a very uncomfortable situation. I have my phone on me, he asked for my number, and I was too scared to say no. I did say "I rarely text, so I don't think there's a point." He obviously didn't care. We exchanged numbers. The entire time we were eating, he kept texting me stuff. I ignored it, and he'd be like "hey check your text". He asked for nudes, and I whispered "I'm not that kinda person". and he kept whisper begging me "just one little peek? just one?" and don't worry, I never sent it to him. Also unfortunately, this was on a very old flip phone. idk where it is or how I can recover these text messages (or if it's even possible), but if anyone knows how, please tell me. Then there was a summer gathering. I guess my friends and one of his friends were really uncomfortable with his behavior towards me, and all decided to team up to confront him about it. I guess he had this weird fixation on me for whatever reason. There's stuff I still don't know about the conversation they all had, idk everything his friend knew (btw this friend of his is still a very good friend of mine, bless his soul). So I was there when this confrontation happened, he was like "sorry, I'll never do it again." I said "it's okay, I forgive you." Because I'm an anxious wreck and hate conflict. OBVIOUSLY, this wasn't the last of it. It got a whole the worse. So after my 18th birthday, there was an end of the summer gathering. I was in my Sougo cosplay. I was playing Pokemon on the grass, and he came over. (btw he did grope me a few times throughout the day, but I honestly can't fucking remember each time he groped me throughout the time I knew him, so I'm just telling significant parts of the story). And he tried to touch in between my legs. I clearly remember that time, I said "no". It was in a small voice, but I said it, he heard it, and he didn't stop. Also something I forgot to mention. He'd often call me sexy an be like "I want to kiss you" or "I want to have sex with you" whenever less people were around, and it was so uncomfortable. Thankfully, one of my guy friends at the time saw and came over. He was like "Hey, you're playing Pokemon, right? Can you show me your Pokemon?" and he pulled me away, and asked if I was okay, promised to stick with me for the rest of the gathering. There was going to be a party afterwards, which I said no to, but that gross man tried to convince my friend to go (and since she was going home with me, I had to stick with her). But that guy friend helped me convince her not to go. That whole situation is something I'll never forget, and I'm so happy this guy friend was there. But it just kept getting worse. << gonna flash forward to when I was in college, because this was when a lot of the bad stuff started happening. I was really depressed when I started college. I mean like a lot of people are? I felt like I was undeserving, I was sad I wasn't a kid anymore, and I was terrified of being an adult. I'd cry a lot in the car before class. I didn't really talk to people at school. I felt super mega alone all the time. Like when you're in high school, you get to see friends every single day, but since I knew no one, well.. :/ That and I was way too anxious to talk to anyone unless approached first (surprise surprise, I'm still this way Dx ) Anyways, the only time I'd get to see friends was sometimes on weekends, it wasn't too often at first, since my friends were all super busy and stuff. I saw that gross person at a cosplay gathering, I was cosplayed as Chihiro from Danganronpa. And like.. he wasn't be really weird to me. He was being nice, normal, nothing creepy. And I got comfortable. We started messaging a little bit on facebook, and he wasn't being weird. I thought he changed. And for a few times after, he wasn't doing anything weird either. My dumbass agreed to hang out with him and his girlfriend, and even then, even the first few times, it was a completely normal hangout. I thought he might have grew out of that. Because I genuinely believe people can change, but it was all a lie. I believe he was trying to pull me in, get me comfortable, so that I would lower my guard. He even would pay for my food, despite me insisting I could. He'd also pay for things I'd try to buy on my own, and refused to take my money. I thought "wow, he's being a nice person." Eventually, he started making sexual jokes. I thought nothing of it, but that should have been a huge red flag. He eventually started touching me again, even with his girlfriend around. She never did a thing about it, but maybe she was scared (btw same girlfriend I mentioned earlier. The one he dated when she was underage; she was the same age as me). Touching like.. he'd grope my boobs, my ass, slide his hand between my legs, try to reach under my shirt/pants. He'd say so often "I want to have sex with you", "I want to have a threesome". and would ask me what my fetishes were (never said it), and just like.. super gross stuff. But I was a big dumbass. I stuck with this for years. Dealt with it because he was nice to me. I'd think "well, it wasn't happening all the time, so if it happened, it would be over within a minute probably". Whenever he'd do something, I'd freeze up outta fear and count in my head. Sometimes it lasted 10 seconds, sometimes a few minutes. I dealt with it because he was nice to me, and I was so insecure. My mom and grandma didn't know about this at all. Once my mom almost found out. She saw a weird facebook message on my laptop while I wasn't in the room (I left messages open on my screen), and she asked me. I lied to her, and she kept asking. I kept lying and convinced her it was just a joke. I remember this one thing he told me, I was 20. He was talking about someone he used to be friends with. How he'd do this stuff to her, and she'd just pretend like it wasn't happening too. He told me he thought it was cute how I'd get all stiff and act like it wasn't happening. That's really fucking disgusting. He started getting upset with me because I made some more friends, and we started hanging out, he wasn't invited of course. Especially my second year of AX. Oh gosh I also witnessed him verbally abusing his girlfriend, but I won't go into that right now. But it was terrifying. I witnessed it happen a few times. And idk if I ever publicly talked about my triggers. But angry screaming is very triggering to me, so erhdcj. Anyways, after my 21st birthday, my friend and I went to a mini convention. There was a contest, I misunderstood what she said and thought she wanted me to keep the whole thing a secret from everyone. So I told no one where I was going, I was even like "hey mom, my friend and I are gonna go to LT!" and she was like "Cool". So that whole day was a bunch of fun. One of our friends took pictures and posted it, and that gross man (who wasn't there, didn't know I was going) messaged me a sad face. I genuinely didn't know what was wrong, so I asked him. He was very angry that I didn't tell him where I was going, like that was something I was supposed to do. This anger scared me, so I distanced myself for a bit. He started purposely doing things on social media to make me upset, one including my fb name being reported (still convinced it was him, because the fact that it didn't happen until this is just so strange). Then there was this event I was supposed to host that came up. I was.. terrified he was gonna go, so terrified I had an anxiety attack in my room. And my mom came into this worried, and that was the day I told her everything, all the stuff that man did. And god I was terrified she wasn't going to believe me, that she was going to get angry at me, but when she gently pulled me into her arms and hugged me close.. it was.. a very nice feeling. I didn't go to the gathering, another friend of mine hosted it for me instead. And then a convention months later happened. Previously I talked to his girlfriend about it. and she was being an apologist for him. He tried to approach me at the con, I walked away. He messaged me, and I officially cut ties with him. Despite no longer having ties with that terrible human being. I'd see him at so many events. And he'd purposely do things to make me uncomfortable. Like waving at me, or going up to people who were close by me. He even tried to recently friend my noncosplay fb, which I forgot to block him on. *DEEP BREATH* And I never reported him. I was afraid to. I thought about it so many times, but I thought "wow, what proof do I even have?" I have a few weird facebook messages, but those could have easily just been pushed aside because they really weren't much. I don't have pictures of him doing anything. I don't have video. There was witnesses, yes. But that's just someone's word, yeah? He also knew so many people, so many important people.. So many sexual assault cases are like this. People are too afraid to report because they're scared they won't be believed (I mean, look at how many people who are calling those who're coming out about Vic liars?). Because when victims look around, all they see are the various situations in which people try to report someone, and they're not believed. Companies, communities, authorities not taking them seriously. In so many sexual assault cases, there's not going to be video proof, picture proof, voice recordings, screenshots, etc. It's usually just someone's word, someone's experience. And I get that's not much, but consider this. When there's SO MANY PEOPLE saying the same fucking thing about someone, such as in Vic's case, that's a giant red flag. And when things are being said for years, that's not enough? LOOK AT HOW MANY PEOPLE CAME FORWARD ABOUT VIC! LOOK HOW LONG THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR!!! In my case, with the person I was talking about in my story, the gross man.. I've heard people have reported him to con staff, people have tried to say things (he's done stuff to a lot of people), but nothing has ever happened. No punishment, nothing. He's nice to people on the surface. He's good at talking. He's made people happy. I'm sure there's people who'd be like "wow _____ did nothing wrong because he's so nice to me uwu". He knows a lot of people. I've heard he's also ruined people too. What's the point of all this? Yes, Vic is good at playing nice. He knows how to say things people want to hear, he knows how to act in such a way so that he looks like a good guy. I mean, why else would there be so many posts in the #KickVic tag of people being like "Vic did nothing wrong. Here's a picture of me and Vic hugging uwu he's so nice." I want to end this by saying.. Sometimes the nicest people turn out to be the worst people. And I get it's something hard to take in, I get it's hard not to be in denial. But the proof is out there. I know it's not video proof or stuff like that, but the voices of so many people screaming about this for over a decade should be enough. Why the fuck would THAT many people, voice actors included, spend over a decade plotting his downfall? That shit doesn't make sense. Like seriously.. the amount of people who've been coming out about Vic Lasagna is a lot, and it's been going on for over a decade. Think about that.

#kickvic #metoo

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ruserious-hi · 6 years ago

Text

180: Chapter I

Summary: You’re entire life you had felt that you were special, like you were mean’t for something greater. You weren't ordinary. You had a mother, friends. You were even at the top of your class. It wasn’t until your eighteenth birthday that you discovered you were right all along and yet wrong in so many ways.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader ? ;)

A/N: Hey y’all trying my hand at fanfiction, we’ll see how it goes. Lmk how I do.

Drip.

Time. Reality. Light. They all used to be so clear, so finite.

7:15 am meant it was time to go to school. 8:00 am, meant meeting Jesse in the courtyard and then heading to AP Chemistry. 12:00 meant lunch time and 1:55 signaled the end of the school day. Another day closer to graduation.

Drip.

Friends meant drinking green tea with Jesse in the mornings discussing the latest celebrity gossip, debates over stealing seats and fighting over whether the easter bunny had two legs or four with Courtney, it was clearly four. And of course meeting in the library with Andy to talk about the latest book we’ve read.

Drip.

Family meant Disney movie night Thursdays. Ski adventures, shopping trips, and fights over whose turn it was to do the dishes. Beach walks. Oh, how you loved collecting shells and giving them to mom. Mom...

Drip.

Light. Now that was something that had started to become a distant memory. When was the last time you saw the sun. Was it still out there?

Drip.

You stared at the ceiling of your cold, damp cell. It was roughly three feet above your head providing you minimal movement. God, you hated tight spaces. You hated everything. But worst of all, you hated that you didn’t have anything to hold onto. Not a schedule. Not family. Not friends. Not light. No. That was all taken away from you.

June 13, 2011. Your eighteenth birthday.

“Y/N, sweetie. Are you up yet?” With a long stretch accompanied by a yawn, you wiggled out of the sheets you had somehow trapped yourself in while sleeping.

“Mom. I am technically an adult now. You don’t have to bring me Mickey Mouse pancakes and chocolate milk.”

Your Mom shook her head, still wearing a smile, replied, “You may be an adult now but you'll always be my baby girl.” She then squeezed your cheeks. You always hated when she did that. Regardless, you could never say no to pancakes and milk.

“Alright, Y/N. You have an hour to eat and get ready. You better not be late to school.”

“Yeah, yeah... When have I ever been late to school.”

On that note, your mom shut the door and left.

After gobbling down your breakfast, you threw on the first thing you could get your hands on: a pair of black, Nike shorts and an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia shirt.

Racing down the stairs, you dropped your dishes off in the kitchen. Your Mom had already left for work at the hospital, so without needing to say goodbye you grabbed the car keys and headed outside ready to begin life as an official adult. Maybe you would go to the gas station after school with Jesse and get a lottery ticket. Or maybe even buy a pack of cigarettes just because you can. Although you mom might not be too happy about that.

Even though you had to go to school on your birthday, you didn’t really mind it. School was always something you excelled at. You didn’t need to stay up passed the late hours of the day just to pass a class. Or copy off someone else. It just came natural to you.

It was 7:45 in the school parking lot when the first strange thing happened.

With 15 minutes before having to meet Jesse in the parking lot, you figured you would go over your electrochem homework to check for mistakes. There was word going around that Mr. Ingleton was planning on collecting and grading the homework as a quiz grade. Unzipping your bag, you started to dig through it in search of your red three subject notebook that contained all your chemistry stuff. With the same classes everyday, there was no excuse for it not to be in there. Sifting through it was no longer enough. Grabbing all your notebooks, binders and folder, you placed them all on the passenger seat and started to frantically put them back in.

Then it hit you. You knew exactly where that damn notebook was. It was sitting right on your desk. You could see it. Pissed at yourself and seething in anger for being so stupid, you closed your eyes.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5., everything will turn out fine. 6. 7. 8., everything will turn out great. 9 10 you are calm again.

It was a weird little saying your mom taught you as a kid. It was stupid and didn't make sense, but for some reason it helped.

You were brought back from your self pity state by a knock on your window. It was Jesse. Green tea in hand, she opened the door to the back seat of the car.

“Hey birthday girl! Umm whats up with the mess in the front seat?”

“Oh, you know,” you replied. “Just me being a dumbass.”

“What did you do this time.”

“Forgot my red chem notebook that contains, you know, the homework assignment that Mr. Ingleton will most likely grade.” you responded. “What a great way to start adulthood.”

“Honey,” Jesse said. “First of all, you are one of the smartest people I know and one bad quiz grade is not going to kill you. Second of all, if you look to your right there is a red notebook covered in doodles with paper sticking out of it that looks an awful lot like your chem notebook.”

Gazing to your right, you started at the passenger seat in disbelief. You could have sworn that wasn’t there before. Rubbing your eyes, you looked again and the notebook was there. Strange.

“Thanks, Jess. What would I ever do without you.” You said sarcastically, putting your hand to your heart.

“You wouldn’t survive a day without me,” Jesse replied with a smug grin.

As you and Jesse, left your car, something still felt off. You could have sworn that notebook wasn’t there before.

It was 12:00 when the second weird thing happened.

You were sitting at your usually lunch table. Courtney sat across from you talking to her boyfriend Sam who was sitting next to her. Meanwhile Jesse was making her way over to you guys with her lunch tray in hand.

“Hey, Y/N.” You turned to your right where Andy was sitting. “Are you doing anything fun for your 18th birthday?”

“Probably the usual. Out to dinner at Olive Garden, cheesecake, and movie of my choice with my mom. Especially since this cou-

Before you could finish telling Andy your birthday plans, you were interrupted by a ringing in your ears. The noise sent a short stabbing pain to your head. Your hands flanked to your head in the hopes that they could hold it together. It felt like any minute your head could explode. Gripping as hard as you can, you began counting.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5, everything will turn out fine. 6. 7. 8, everything will turn out great. 9. 10 you are calm again.

In an instant, the headache was gone and you were met with a worried glance from Andy.

“Y/N,” he said placing the back of his palm on your forehead. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“Yeah I just had a bit of headache. I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick.”

As quick as you can, you gathered all your things and stumbled to the bathroom. You were glad you had gotten there fast because just as you entered your mind became flooded with noise.

It wasn’t like anything you have ever felt before. It was a combination of words, emotions. It was too loud, too scattered, and too many to even begin to decipher. The emotions were heavy and debilitating. Some were sad, some joyful. But all you could feel was pain. An extraordinary amount of pain.

The last thing you remember was your head hitting the bathroom floor and Jesse shouting through the cracked open door, “Holy shit Y/N!”

Weary eyed and exhausted, you woke up in the Nurse’s office. You had never been in there before. Mostly because the Nurse gave you a weird vibe and you hated missing school. So if you were sick? You would always just walk it off and go to class.

Barely conscious, you could just make out what sounded to be a heated discussion in the hallway.

“Ms. Y/L/N. Your daughter needs to go to the hospital! She just passed out in a bathroom stall. I highly recommend we call an ambulance.” The Nurse stated urgently.

“No! I am a nurse. I work at the local hospital and I can take care of her.”

“But I-”

“She is my daughter. My child. And it is my decision.”

“Alright fine. Just sign her out.”

You heard footsteps approaching, so you quickly closed your eyes. The door creaked open and the nurse entered with your mom.

“Hey sweetie.” Slowly you opened your eyes, to see your mom standing next to your bed. “You passed out in the bathroom. I'm going to take you home alright.”

You nodded. In a daze, you followed your mom out of the nurses office, past the school front door, and into your moms car.

“What about my car?”

“Don’t worry about it sweetie. I’ll take care of it. You rest. I’m going to take you to the hospital.”

Just as you were about to tell her you had thought you were taking her home, you decided not to bring it up. She had nursed you back to health when you got strep throat in the third grade, helped take care of you when you broke your wrist in a basketball game freshman year, and even rocked you to sleep whenever you would get stomach aches in the night and couldn't by yourself. You trusted your mother with every piece of you. She was your only family. She loved you more than anything in the world. She would help you get through whatever is going on with you.

With that in mind, you closed your eyes, succumbing to the darkness, and sealing your fate.

Drip.

That was all you could remember from that day. The day your life made a complete 180. Because after that day all you knew was cold cell walls, LED lights, belts, straps, tie wraps, rock beds, electrodes, syringes, vials, blood, and pain. Unrelenting and debilitating pain. It was your new infinite reality brightened only with occasional dim LED lights.

Drip.

God you wished you could stop hearing that annoying dripping noise.

BANG.

Well thats a new sound. Slowly, due to the bruises on your ribs and the broken hand you were sure you were sporting, you sat up in your cell.

BANG.

On the second bang, the ground started shaking. You couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad thing. The guards outside your cell left their post. Leaving you unguarded and completely and entirely alone.

Red, flashing lights began blaring. An audio recording came with it.

Alert! This HYDRA facility is under attack. The building will self-destruct in two minutes. Remember children, cut off one head. Two more will grow in its place. Hail HYDRA!

Shit! Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

You were too young for this. You were going to find a way out. You were going to graduate high school, go to college, and become a doctor. You can’t die like this! You were meant for so much more.

1. 2. 3. 4. - fuck it.

“HELP!” You screamed with all the fight you had left in you.

Hydra had taken everything from you: a childhood, a family, real friends, first boyfriend, first kiss, first house, and a first real job. You weren’t going to let them take your hope.

“HELP! HELP! HELP!”

You screamed until your voice went hoarse. Smoke had already consumed most of the floor and had already began filtering into your cell.

With your remaining energy, you banged your good hand against the cell wall and let out a weak “help.”

Mid-coughing fit from the heavy smoke you were interrupted by a bang from across the hall close to where the elevator stood opposite you. A shadow appeared through the smoke. From what you could tell, the shadow had a gun and was heading straight for you.

Unaware if the shadow was a friend or foe, you unwillingly surrendered to the darkness and prayed you would make it out alive.

#marvel #mcu #avengers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #Bucky barnes x reader #Bucky X reader #winter soldier #180

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